#it's not a necessity i just enjoy and think it's good practice to dissect your worldview on occasion and make sure it's all working smoothl

[a-dragons-journal]

I have a "type" (not a label user) that I'd like to know more about... it's of a fictional character (as much as it pains to say that), but it's a very Intristic identity, it's less "I found this character and now identity as them", it's definitely more "this part of me has always existed, i just needed to discover it". I've had this for years now. I've tried getting rid of it.

you could say I'm very alike them, but i say they're like Me, not the other way around. I'm not them, they're Me, because the former implies my identity came After discovering them.

I've Always been drawn to scenery, locations, language, clothing etc that's associated with or is the same as this characters source long before discovering them. My ideal appearance and home mirrors this character and their source. If I could wear their cosplay 24/7, I would, and I often do, because it's the most I ever feel like Myself.

I'm not spiritual, hell, i have a fear of that, but because of this almost past life-ish nature of my identity i label it as "quasi-spiritual". But I'd like to know possible mundane or psychological reasons for this. The idea of my identity actually being spiritual all along scares me though.. I don't know what to think. I've got past life readings twice before, different times different people, and they both said the same exact thing! and it kinda aligns with this character...

Maybe it's not that big of a deal and I'm over analyzing again lol. It's in my nature after all. I was hoping an alterhuman blog could help me out with this... Thank you for reading :)

So, I obviously can't answer any of this for you for sure, but I have some thoughts.

First: Truthfully, it's hard for me to come up with a lot of solid purely-mundane explanations for all of this, but I'm sure they're there. My best shot: Past life readings might be similar because they're in some regard based on you, and from a purely mundane perspective, it's possible the readers are picking up on aspects of your current self and extrapolating upon them, which logically might lead them to similar answers. It's possible that your experiences lining up with this character really is just coincidence - if you encounter enough characters in media, odds are that eventually you're going to trip on one that's very similar to yourself - and that doesn't make the label of "fictionkin" any less accurate, because what is that word if not shorthand for "this character/species is very similar to my experiences, so much so that it's easiest to get across my experiences by simply saying I am them despite any small differences they might be" anyway, regardless of the why-explanation that any given individual may attach to that?

That aside, and I realize this part is not answering your question, but I think it may be worth examining in the process of questioning this: Why does the idea of this being something spiritual scare you so much?

To be clear: this is not me saying I think it is, or even that you have to accept it as a possibility or anything. But if you're up for it, then examining that question, assuming you don't already know the answer (because you very well might know and just not have wanted to tell me, which is totally understandable), may give you some insights not just into this, but into a lot of your own rationale for things, which I think is good practice to have a good grasp on. If it is something that ends up making sense to you best through a spiritual lens, why would that be bad for you? ("Because it would contradict my previous beliefs in a big way" is a valid answer here, by the way, just one that then invites more questions, such as "am I letting my biases prevent me from changing my beliefs based on new information, and if so is that also a thing that might be happening with more important things, like political beliefs and whatnot, or is this just genuinely not convincing enough evidence for me?")

Anyway, existential crisis induction aside, other people got further mundane explanations for anon's experiences here?

[tundrainafrica]

do you currently have any snk universe LeviHan headcanons on your mind?

Okay, before I go into this question, I just have to say my brain is literally a conglomeration of head canons which I’ve built up after hanging in this site for months so at this point, I even have trouble telling which one is real or not because everyone just thinks up such beautiful and reasonable ones. 

I wanna talk about one headcanon though which is not really talked about because I don’t think a lot of people jive with. This one resonates with me so well though that I ended up writing it in all my fics even if it’s only barely hinted and was never confirmed in canon. But Imma just drop it here because like I would have wanted to talk about it anyway so now or never. 

Since no one ever confirmed Hange’s history I took liberties with it. 

Hange grew up in a rich family within Wall Sina. 

So my headcanon is Hange grew up rich. Like really rich, not necessarily royalty but at least noble family rich. 

Like Hange could have chosen not to work a day in her life beyond managing family properties and businesses like a larger version of the Reeves company but she just had such a passion for discovering the outside world and research that she ended up deciding to join the survey corps anyway, one of the shittiest factions in the military out of passion. This ended up causing a rift to grow between her and her family which is why she never talks about her family or her history.

Are there hints in canon? 

These are probably my interpretations but I kinda see possible crumbs which can be interpreted as Hange having grown up rich or at least highly educated. 

For one, where do you get the knack and obsession for research? To a degree someone has to have had a lot of time in their life or a lot of time beyond trying to find food or trying to survive to get so deep into something as complex as research, especially in that crapsack world. If Hange was living hand to mouth, she wouldn’t have been neck deep into research. Mind you, Hange is the type of person to get into research for days, completely disregarding her own personal needs and other obligations. This could be interpreted either way but I think not having to work a day in her life growing up, Hange had the leeway to enjoy research and appreciate it, and had built the habit of just locking herself in her room to get stuff done because of her environment growing up. If she had a family to feed, if they were living hand to mouth, I doubt Hange would have built this habit. 

Hange’s room is constantly a mess. It could be interpreted both ways,I know. But we have Levi who hates filth because he grew up in filth. We have Hange who lives in a messy room among clutter because maybe she had someone cleaning up after her growing up? When she finally started living alone, she started thinking, I’m too busy to clean this up myself and just goes about her life. Levi, who had lived in filth all his life, ends up the one cleaning after her because he’s traumatized by filth to the point of fastidiousness. While Hange is not. 

Hange is familiar with powerplay and media manipulation. What kind of work did she do in Season 3? She did a lot of the politick-ing, the media manipulation and the behind the scenes work to get Reeves back into power and she did a really good job at it. I think this could be interpreted as her having grown up within the walls, brushing elbows among the elite to have known how it works. Hange was one of those completely aware that the uprising and the rebellion could not be completed without getting the trust and the faith of the people. She was also one of the people who knew exactly how that type of shit worked and that's why it went so smoothly in her end. 

Hange is okay getting her hands dirty. This could be seen as a counterargument. If Hange was rich, why is she okay getting her hands dirty? I’d like to point out here her motivations for it and the way she goes about it compared to Levi. When Levi fights or tortures, the way he goes about it is he just knows it’s a necessity and something he has to do to get things done. When Hange fights or tortures, there is a sort of wonder or curiosity in her face, which shows she is more motivated by the wonder and the unpredictability that comes with working in the survey corps more than anything. Although Hange has a good heart, she is not as in touch with the struggles of the poor and the powerless as Levi imo. I don’t think it came as naturally for her. In fact, the penchant for survival and the mindset of doing something because it’s necessary did not come as naturally for Hange as it did for Levi. Hange gets her hands bloody because she likes dissection, she likes trying to learn new things (like learning to torture) and this type of perspective, not coming naturally for someone like her at least hints to the idea that she grew up with enough financial leeway to at least not understand that some unfavorable things may have to be done out of necessity.

They glossed over her history. Maybe she had no childhood trauma? Although Hange did have traumas which were put into light after she joined the survey corps, we never hear about any traumas or any big revelations about her life before that. Maybe it was comfortable? Maybe comfortable to the point of forgettable? It was a good life maybe, enough to brush it off lightly. Maybe her life was just so conventionally normal, and the worst she ever experienced is deciding to defy her parents and adjust to a mildly middle class existence as part of the shittiest factions of the military (which is still a farcry from being dirt poor or having lost her parents at a young age.)

What does this mean for my Levihan HC?

It adds an interesting facet to the Levihan dynamic in my end. That’s why I ended up keeping this around as a silent headcanon and I’ll just drop some of them here.

Hange had to teach Levi about living above ground

The culture above ground is completely different. Business language, writing documents are something which Levi probably had to learn when he joined the survey corps and became captain. Hange was rich enough to at least have a good education and formal schooling for her to have sheer mastery of how the rich people talk, how budgets are drafted and how announcements are made in a way to please the rich people. Hange knew that and thats why she ended up doing a lot of logistics and research. In fact, she could have been better than Erwin, which could possibly hint to her even having better education than him.

Levi probably never mastered business language and logistics, which is why he never took any other role beyond special squad leader. Although he has the eye for strategy and combat, he cannot for the life of him handle paperwork or the logistics of being a supreme commander. 

Also, they lived in a medieval place so we can assume this type of education wouldn’t be accessible to most people in the outer walls, which kinda supports the point that Hange wasn’t poor or even lower middle class. Like I’m expecting at the least she was on the same social class as Jean. 

They fight over budgets.

If I remember correctly, this has been confirmed in canon. Hange handles budgets and Levi likes to blow the budget with luxuries. Hange has simple joys for someone who grew up rich. Having grown up with a lot of money and a formal education, I wouldn't find it surprising that she was a master of budgeting and that’s why she ended up taking over that job in the survey corps. She also handled supplies and her department probably required the most budget. Not surprising that she handled the overall budget.

Hange handles the budgeting and Levi likes to blow the budget on tea and luxuries. It was explained before why Levi blows the budget on tea. Levi loves certain luxuries but never really had them in the underground which is why he enjoys them know in the military. Hange doesn’t have much of an eye for luxuries because she grew up with them already. There’s nothing much which would impress her luxury wise so she doesn’t see the need or the joys of blowing the military budget on slight luxuries. 

Hange buys him the teas. 

Although Hange has a rift with her rich family already. I don’t think her relationship with them was ever that bad. She was probably like a black sheep, who they would roll their eyes at during family gatherings. “The one child who ran away to join the shit hole military faction.” I think she still has access to their money and they still drop gifts. I have this head canon that Hange actually buys him the teas or gives the nice pastries or souvenirs she would receive from them to Levi so Levi could at least enjoy those too. 

These are the only HCs I can come up with now but I have sprinkled a lot of my fanfiction with them and it is practically canon in my head for many reasons… Mainly because it is an incredibly interesting headcanon and facet of their relationship to consider.

Analyzing the romantic relationship between two people from different social classes is just incredibly interesting. 

Levi and Hange are complete opposites yet manage to jive. This is a common sentiment and take among all the people in the fandom. But what if you take into account as well that they are from different social classes?

I’ve seen this type of relationship in real life and there’s a lot of adjustment involved but it really puts into light how open certain relationships are that differences in social background are discussed and navigated instead of treated as a dealbreaker on why the relationship won’t work. 

Growing up poor and experiencing starvation stays with people and it manifests itself in the small things. In Levi, it manifested itself  in his having a special appreciation for luxuries and his obsession for cleanliness. Hange never batted an eyelash at any of those luxuries being in the survey corps offered. For someone handling such a  budget, she never felt the need to spend on anything too fancy. In fact, when they were eating beef in that one seen, she didn’t really think too much of it compared to the cadets who grew up in small villages in Wall Rose or Wall Maria. 

Even in my family, my mother grew up poor so she has this certain appreciation for saving everything and keeping it. She hates it when we throw away food.. My father never grew up poor so he has this penchant for investing and reinvesting. He has this mindset that if we earn 100 dollars we spend 10. While my mom points out that that 10% isn’t enough for most people to live in. My parents get into the most interesting discussions and arguments having grown up in completely different social classes and I guess, it ended up why I ride so much with this headcanon. It’s just so dam interesting. Tbh, my boyfriend and I are form completely different social classes too so the way we go about material things and money are really different and it’s really interesting to navigate it when the discourse is calm and comprehensive so these relationships kinda influenced this Levihan headcanon. 

I feel like for Levi and Hange, this social class issue was a give and take. Hange thought him how to butt elbows with the ultra rich in the military, having been trained herself how to talk to rich people and win their favor. Levi was the one who put into light for Hange the realities of the war and the lower classes. 

Hange is a good heart and I’m sure she is aware but I just don’t think she was as in touch with it as Levi who had grown up with it. What she brings to the table for Levi That’s why is the capacity to see the wonder with everything since even in Season 1, it was shown that she wasn’t as jaded as other people in the military. Because she had her whole childhood to build that wonder already, not having seen suffering as a child growing up. 

Sorry, if this is pretty long. This HC is pretty important to me because it just adds another facet of their relationship to explore when I write. 

I hope you enjoyed reading it at least. Thanks for the ask!

[dulma]

On the circle jerk of the art world

Tom Wolfe, author & journalist, is good at being scathing. Case in point: The Painted Word a brief diatribe against what he perceives to be the falseness and pretension of an elitist art world in a capitalist society.

I don’t know enough about art or the art world to agree or disagree with what Mr. Wolfe claims, but I do care deeply about art and its role in civilization. How it can help us, fix us, express us, or how it can’t. 

His ideas, though, strike me as useful departures for my own future research, especially w/r/t Abstract Expressionism, my new obsession. Also—God knows I love a good contrarian, so here are some key points I’ve synthesized from his spirited lambast. For my own reference, mostly. Thanks, Tom.

Art must have its theory, i.e. the dictum du jour. “modern art has become completely literary” 

Realistic 19th century painting dubbed “literary” thereby spawning its rebellious successor movements, i.e. l’art pour l’art

Braque: aim of art is not to reconstitute but constitute “a pictorial fact” 

Artists left the royal courts & salons and by 1900 aimed to shock and subvert the bourgeois 

Now the artists had to be boho & avant garde (sincerely) but also in le monde

“Public? The public plays no part in the process whatsoever. The public is not invited” 

(This question is of importance to me. Art as public artifact vs. art as private commodity/investment—note to self: explore the ethics and utility of these roles, and whether they are conflicting or mutually generative)

The art world is a mere 10,000 souls 

“a mere hamlet!” restricted to les beaux mondes of eight cities 

Modern art enjoyed a huge boom in the States in the 1920s because that’s when the cultured bourgeoisie began to love it 

Imported from Europe to the US not in a bohemian rebellious spirit but institutionalized by the Rockefellers via the establishment of the MoMA in late 1920s 

Art theory used to be something that enriched conversation 100 years prior but now it was “ an essential hormone in the mating ritual” 

(Touché, Tom Wolfe.)

The bourgeois art world needed theory to understand the direction of modern art 

Why did theory blow up? 

1. the art world is tiny

2. le monde always looks to the bohemian artists for the next thing

3. the artists are made up of “cénacles” where if one dominates art and has one core theory, that theory comes to dominate all of the art world during that period 

This is what happened post WWII during Abstract Expressionism & when NY replaced Paris as center of the art world 

Greenberg’s theory of flatness and Rosenberg’s Action Painting became big theories picked up by le monde. Peggy Guggenheim then discovered Pollock, beloved of Greenberg, and gave him a place and money and set him off 

“First you do everything possible to make sure your world is antibourgeois, that it defies bourgeois tastes, that it mystifies the mob, the public, that it outdistances the insensible middle-class multitudes by light-years of subtlety and intellect — and then, having succeeded admirably, you ask with a sense of see-what-I-mean outrage: “Look, they don’t even buy our products!””

Pop Art was then a reaction against Abstract Exp. 

It was even flatter. Jasper Johns chose flat real life objects and made them look super flat. Like the flag. 

“Wasn’t there something just the least bit incestuous about this tendency of contemporary art to use previous styles of art as its points of reference?” 

(What else would you use? All major art forms are institutionalized in some way—literature, film, etc.—and draw upon its predecessors, are in conversation with lineage and history. I don’t see this as inherently “incestuous” but in practice in the art world perhaps it’s extreme or problematic... explore further)

Pop Art succeeded not because it rejected Abst. Exp’s premises of moving away from realism, but because it did AE one better: even higher level of not realism. Somewhere that was not abstract nor realistic but based on signs 

Abstract Expressionists were too grim and antibourgeois, too bohemian. The Pop artists were right at home in the cultured world of the bourgeois 

Steinberg: Modern art always “'projects itself into a twilight zone where no values are fixed'” and “'it is always born in anxiety'” and its function is to “'transmit this anxiety to the spectator'” to provoke “'genuine existential predicament'” 

“If you hated it — it was probably great." 

Pop Art was full of cultural and literary ironic commentary and allusions. Op Art, which came after, was also very literary in that it was heavily grounded in theory. Theory was taking idea of painting as real object and turning it into object of pure perception 

Greenberg made a comeback with a new theory/style: against the brushstroke. 

All of these movements were a movement towards reduction, stripping away - first of 19th century realism, then representational objects, then the third dimension towards flatness, then brushstrokes. 

Is that enough? Hardly. 

Minimalists came and stripped away the “sentimental” colors and used gritty or ugly ones 

Got rid of the frame, the hanging up of pictures, the square canvas 

Rosenberg & Greenberg (though sort of rivals) and others were against this - new style was “‘too much a feat of ideation.. something deduced instead of felt and discovered.’” 

Then we got rid of the very idea of wall. 

Moved into installations. Then museums (Earth Art). 

What about idea of a permanent or even visible work of art? so next came Conceptual Art where they said it wasn’t about permanence and materials but the process 

And then they took away idea of visual imagination altogether - piece called Vacant by David R Smith 

My thoughts on this (provisional):

Art movements destroy to create. This is also true in literature, in everything. I find this a natural human impulse. We are meaning-making animals, and art is our way of exploring/expressing this process, and meaning is made inevitably by a destructive-creative process. Learning—and thus growth—is by necessity an act that displaces the dictums of yesterday to make room for the new. So I question Wolfe’s implicit resistance to the deconstruction of every assumption inherent to “art,” but I’m willing to challenge the “destroy for destruction’s sake” imperative, insofar as it is what drives the movements of art today. It sure seems that way, but I assume there’s more there, and the “more” is perhaps as varied as the people who further it.

To ask a naive question that probably Real Art has long since abandoned or mocked until it breathed its last, what about beauty???? As a layperson who wants to believe that art has a public role and some inherent value where beholding it can do something good, even by disturbing us, I often find myself lamenting the un-beauty of contemporary art. That this is probably because I don’t “get it” only further entrenches my sense of alienation from this world of art. Is there respite to be sought in, for example, outsider art? 

Perhaps the answer is as simple as a simple comparison: take music. There is no possibility of defining “beautiful” music; we like what we like, and different people like different things. There are ways to get into a piece and understand what it’s trying to be and to judge it on that basis (also like a book) but no absolute criteria are possible because of the infinite variety of creative possibility. But even so, music and literature seem to me more accessible, somehow, than art. Less conceptual in the way art can be, more inclusive in terms of the gap between what the gatekeepers would deem worth canonizing and what we would claim to enjoy as outsiders.

To what extent do artists themselves (as if it’s a homogeny) want the “public” to “get” or “like” their art? A lot rides on this question I guess.

The beauty of the disturbing and the disturbing of beauty. Would this summarize where we find ourselves today?

(I suppose you could say beauty is taken out of the equation, but you could also reframe that as the expansion of the territory of the beautiful to encompass all, exclude nothing. Ironically. The murder of beauty and the expansion of it to include everything is the same thing, conceptually speaking.)

What I wish existed and whose absence consumes me to no end every time I enter a museum: a summary (impossible) of the timeline of the canon and what/who gets included and what/who gets excluded and why. Note that I’m not issuing the ignorant layperson’s tired old challenge of “My 5-year-old could do that.” I don’t mistake technical skill involved or duration of labor for the Good, but I do want the implicit curatorial values to be made legible, because I’m in a capitalist system that more often than not exacts a price from us to view or own art but I am then paying to engage with something whose value I don’t understand and am expected to receive fully by merely looking at something without the language or conceptual framework to understand its value, all while contributing to that value, reinforcing it. That seems like a scam to me (forgivable) but also like intellectual hypocrisy (unforgivable).

All of this is a rambling record of first impressions re: the art world and my access to an understanding of its values & criteria. Obviously a way to answer my own questions is to examine the world itself, anthropologically, and dissect its political/cultural/social/financial underpinnings. To learn the common answers, debates addressing these small questions of mine. Which I intend to.

But that these are the questions begged when one confronts the whole system as an ignorant layperson is worth noting in itself, I think, because it draws out some assumptions that are contradictory. Assumptions that imply that art is good and we should look at it and pay to look at it. Assumptions that also imply that beauty is not art and skill is not art and accessibility is not art. 

So then what is art? And who gets to decide? We spend our lives taking for granted the fact of a museum, of an art history curriculum, of a canon of famous men and (sometimes) women who have made what we consider “Great Art” without ever being satisfied with a good explanation of why, how come, who says? Especially today?

[the-letter-y]

Stuck With You

A voltron au consisting of the domestic lives of the ever loved klance. Summary- In which a moody artist rooms with an overdramatic florist.

Chapter 1:Moving in

His new roommate was a week late. Lance had dismissed the idea of the pending deadline for the rent at that time, there was still three (or was that two?) weeks left anyways. He thought a few more days of having the place to himself didn’t seem that bad. Besides, Pidge and Hunk had constantly came over to his place to hang out, so lonelyness was never really a problem. Although, he had to blame them for the many sleepless nights they had for playing video games till dawn had risen.

It wasn’t until the landlord called about the rent that was due, not three weeks, but three days from then that Lance had started to panic. Lance was broke basically, he was struggling already with daily necessities, there are even times where he had to skip dinner just to save a few bucks for the onslaught of the next day. He currently has about three part-time jobs and a soon to be real job if the manager would just contact him already! So he basically would become homeless if his soon-to-be-roommate doesn’t show up and help pay the other half of the rent.

By the time the three day time limit was up, Lance was cursing every living fibre of his soon-to-be-roommate. In the end, Lance had barely managed to scrap up enough money to pay the rent, not to mention that his bank account was currently as empty as his grumbling stomach. To say that he wasn’t mad at his soon-to-be-roommate would be an understatement, he was absolutely furious!

The next day he had found himself at a nearby cafe with Pidge and Hunk, eating soggy fries and cold frenchtoast was the best meal he has had in a while. And while he gobbled his food, Hunk -that sweetheart- offered to pay for his meal, given that he teaches him his abuelita’s recipe for brownies.

“Dude, seriously. Did you even eat dinner last night?” Pidge questions as she raises a questioning eyebrow when he orders himself a stack of pancakes with extra syrup, she makes a face at the extra load of sweetness.

“To answer that question, you’re gonna have ta buy me coffee after this,” Lance tells her before stuffing his face with a chunk of syrup loaded pancake.

“I’ll take that as a no then,” she says with a shake to her head, her nose doing that scrunching thing it does when she disagrees with something. “Do Hunk and I have to make slide shows for you about nutrition? Again?” She waves her stirring spoon around, flicking little drops of coffee on to the table.

Lance grimaced at the thought, a haunting memory of very well detailed explanations of the digestive system with tabled functions and definitions pop into his mind. He doesn’t even know how his friends even conjured up the time to make these slide shows. And don’t even get him started on the extra care they put into the gastritis slide. They had like a whole page dedicated to the definition, images included, the factors and cons on one page and that wasn’t even the end of it! The symptoms page even had a video linked on to it!

His friends were the kind of people who took caring for someone to a whole new different level, they were beautiful that way.

“Please no slides,” he says sheepishly while scratching the back of his head, pancake half eaten and syrup still dripping. “Honestly, I wouldn’t be so broke right now if it weren’t for my roommate who is currently MIA,” his tone is flat when he mentions the mysterious roommate, still salty about the rent.

“Where is he anyway?” Hunk questions because unlike Pidge, he shows that he cares and not bite him with sarcasm.

“That’s the problem. I don’t know. I can’t even contact the dude!” He huffs out, exasperate.

Pidge’s glasses shone. “Do you think he got abducted by aliens?”

“Probably being dissected as we speak,” Lance supplies.

“Can we not talk about this when we’re eating?” Hunk chides, giving them a look of disappointment.

Lance and Pidge both continue theorizing about the possibilities of Lance’s missing roommate, Hunk chiming in every once in a while when the topic got too overboard. It was a normal Saturday for them, sunny breeze, cloudless skies and a whole day filled with potential. The thought of overpriced rents and mysterious roommates slowly disappearing from his mind as the conversation went on.

He’s staring at a pile of boxes stacked up at his front door, boxes with labels on them, varying from clothes to paints to books. Lance squeezes his way in through the doorway, narrowly avoiding toppling the stack of boxes. A questioning brow is raised when he lays his eyes on the back of someone looking through the contents of the boxes, headphones plugged in and blasting some pop song he can’t make out. Lance concludes that the dude doesn’t even know that he was even existing in the same room as him and casually strolls over to the guy’s side to tap him on the shoulder.

The guy is startled by the sudden tap on his shoulder and jumps a bit in surprise as he whips his head in Lance’s direction. Lance surpasses the urge to gape at the mysterious stranger that could very well be his new roommate, because damn the guy’s hot. Then he remembers that he’s broke and it’s all this guy’s fault.

“Hi, the name’s Lance. And you owe me an explanation as well as money,” because his mama taught him manners before anything else. Introductions first, she would say. You are a man of manners like I raised you to be, so pummel the guy afterwards, she tells him with a stern look as 7 year old him nodded obediently. Those were the good days.

His hot new roommate simply stares at him, giving him a long and tantalizing look before taking off his headphones. “What?”

Lance groans loudly and sauntered clumsily on to the couch, his face flat on one of the couch pillows. He peeks at his roommate, snorting when he finally notices the mullet. His roommate merely continues studying him, giving him a weird look as Lance lazily sits up.

“So, you gonna tell me your name anytime soon or should I just call ya mullet? By the way, in case you haven’t heard, the name’s Lance ” he says, legs crossed and hugging his favourite pillow. “Lance with an L.”

His roommate seems to consider this for awhile, a displeased frown marrying his features as he narrows his eyes threateningly at the grinning man covered in blue on the couch. He didn’t seem to like the new nickname. “Keith,” he says and returns to his unpacked boxes, the frown never leaving his features.

“Keith,” Lance says to test the name on his tongue before nodding and propping and arm behind the couch to watch Keith unpack.

He hears a large sigh coming from Keith and he raises a brow in question when he turns to glare at him.

“Can I help you?!” He bites out rather viciously.

Lance being Lance was unaffected by said glare and continues staring. “Need help with those?” He offers, gesturing to the many strewn boxes around their living room.

Keith only blinks and shakes his head in refusal. “I have a system,” he tells him and lifts up two boxes with ease. He then retreats to the unused room and reappears again without the boxes.

“System,” Lance repeats, slightly interested.

“Yes, system. A system in which you don’t touch my stuff and mind your own business!” He huffs out grumpily and hauls two more boxes into his room and returning to the living room while stomping.

“Someone’s being a grumpy pants,” Lance mutters with a pout and Keith turns to face him.

“I’ll show you grumpy if you don’t shut up,“ he tells him pointedly and as Lance was about to refute, his phone rang. His ring tone, Despacito, blaring loudly as Keith cringes and backs away like he’s offended.

“Uno momento, señor Keith,” he says and silences the phone by picking it up. “Hola? Allura? I got the job?” He’s practically beaming, smiling like an idiot as Keith watches him from a safe distance. “You won’t regret it. When do I start?” His face hurt from smiling so much.

Keith shakes his head, a silent smile of his own as he continues lunging boxes into his room. Lance finishes his phone call and is now all over the place, like literally. He’s bouncing around all laughs and smiles and Keith has to try his very hardest not to run into him with his heavy baggage. That is until Lance runs up to him and squashes him into a bear hug, making Keith choke on his spit, the boxes falling on to the floor with a loud thud.

“Lance, p-personal space! I need personal space!” He yells in a panic voice, his face heating up.

“You even said my name for the first time! I could cry Keith, I’m just so happy!” He exclaims and Keith has to keep himself from spontaneously combusting.

A/N: Yay, I’m done. Hoped ya’ll enjoyed it~

[suzanneshannon]

How I’ve Improved as a Web Developer (and a Person) in 2019

We’re sliding into the roaring twenties of the twenty-first century (cue Jazz music 🎷). It’s important that you and I, as responsible people, follow the tradition of looking back on the past year and reflect on the things that went right and wrong in the hopes of becoming the best version of ourselves in the year ahead.

I never do New Year’s resolutions, except for when I was ten years old and wanted to open a local self-run detective agency by the end of the following year (Scooby Doo was in vogue those days.) But I do reflect on the past this time of year, perhaps as an instinctive response.

Over the years, I’ve improved as a web developer, on my own terms and on my own pace, while learning, unlearning, interpreting and executing what the web technology offers. This post is a reflection of my personal experiences from 2019 and the years before that. I’ll share things I’ve learned that might make us all better web developers heading into 2020. Personal experiences aren’t universal, of course, but it’s sometimes neat to get a look into the things other people are processing and learn vicariously through them.

So here we go.

I spent a lot of time in other people’s code

It was unavoidable because my very first professional project involved updating and upgrading an old application. It was only after some time that I realized I gained wisdom from navigating through code written by others, and also, I developed the guts to voluntarily read others' code and really pay attention to what it’s doing.

It’s not unlike practicing good listening skills. Reading and understanding code written by someone else requires active attention and fighting the temptation to either zone out or inject your own opinion.

What you can try: GitHub is a great place to see a lot of projects. There are so many open source projects out there and they're all readily available to look at and digest. I think many of us have experienced times when we simply grab a project or a tool without really getting under the hood and understanding what it’s actually doing or how it fits into our own work. Taking the time up front is an excellent way to not only learn new things, but to make better decisions in our day-to-day work as well. Don’t understand something? Open an issue in the repo and ask away!

I’d be remiss not to mention CodePen here. Not only can you search for just about any pattern, feature, or function, but it also offers collections of Pens and even topics, both of which are excellent for seeing how different people tackle similar ideas.

I tried new web standards even if I thought I’d never use them

It’s just my curiosity, but I think it has made me feel more comfortable in learning something new. That might be variable fonts, serverless, JAMstack, prefers-color-scheme , prefers-reduced-motion , and subgrid, among many others. Geez, we’ve seen a lot of new things in the last year or two, haven’t we?

What you can try: I think you’re already ahead of this by following sites like CSS-Tricks. There are many technical blogs and writers out there who share with their readers what’s new. Check out the list of people who have contributed to this blog — many of them have personal sites where they’re frequently sharing new things. A Book Apart is also a great resource for standards, especially for those of you who might enjoy a break from the screen. You can find so many gems there, from Expressive Web Design to The New CSS Layout.

I created an archive of my favorite code snippets

There were times when I’d think that I’d remember the oh-so-simple syntax of new code I tried... but it turns out simple things are easier to forget. So I decided to keep them neatly in a digital folder, like in the good ol’ times. This has allowed me to go back and reference code when questions or ideas pop up. Otherwise, I’d have to go back and research all over again.

What you can try: I personally don’t use tools, just save them in a file. That said, Gist is always a nice place to keep snippets. And, hey, CodePen lets you create your own collections as well!

Another idea is to leverage your browser’s bookmarks. Save links liberally. Organize them into logical groupings so they’re easy to find later.

I created an archive of my notes, flow diagrams, and other stuff I scribble on paper

I have a standard paper notepad at my office that I use to jot down everything from ideas for a project I’m working on, layout sketches and notes from things I read. It’s also the place where I often start work, much like the way Chris writes “pseudo code” heading into a code editor.

I have a habit of working out the visual aspects of a web application, and often, even the source code on paper. So, I keep those papers safe for when I might have to refer back. It has helped me out in a pinch.

What you can try: I would be a hypocrite if I recommend any of the online note taking tools, because I’ve never found them convenient, ironically. There are lots of physical notebook options out there. Moleskine is a popular one. Sarah Drasner recommended one when she wrote her own post on learning how to learn.

I recognized when someone’s teaching and I need to be a student

I used to have a bad habit: if someone’s explaining something about code that I might already be familiar with, I would process and interpret what they were saying based on my own personal experiences, way before I learned what they had to say first.

It could be a millennial thing or it could be an industry thing, but I’ve always found that people package everything as something that’s being shared, that somehow I’m sitting in a round table with them and we are dissecting things over a box of pizza. 🍕

I appreciate that people make their content inclusive because we’re all adults here. But it also has stopped me from genuinely learning what they were trying to teach. I skimmed through useful information, but never really cared about the context. On my worst days, I missed the point completely, all because my brain’s resources were divided trying to learn and analyze at the same time.

Active listening and learning has provided a bunch of benefits for me this past year. For example:

I hear what people are saying more clearly.

I retain what people share with me more easily.

It makes the people I’m interacting with feel at ease with me.

It opens my mind to new ideas and possibilities I may not have considered.

What you can try: When you want to learn from something, whether it’s an article, a tweet, a podcast episode, a documentation or something else, save it and use it. I learned to grow out of my bad habit this year and have found this to be my flow for learning and retaining from others:

I learn something.

I save it for later (in my archive!).

I try it out when I have the time.

I play around with it more and try improving on it, if needed.

I eat my pizza.

I trusted my own judgement more

This might sound like the exact opposite of what I just said about active listening, but it’s more of a counter-balance to being overly reliant on others. Active listening doesn’t mean we can’t have our own opinions or even continue holding onto them. It simply means we hear and retain information that can inform our own opinions.

A good professional opinion could be such a blessing, but good or bad, the moment I found myself giving too much weight to other people’s opinions, like I’d read a blog post on someone’s development environment and think I have to do the same thing, or worse, that the way I do things is wrong, that’s a terrible feeling (hello Imposter Syndrome) and who needs more stress?

What you can try: Instead of automatically believing that anything you read is the golden standard, try putting up a little guard. In other words, instead of thinking, “This is how I should be doing it,” perhaps say, “Oh, so this is how this person does that.”

I started seeking others' experiences that validates my own

I feel happy when I read or hear fellow web developers share their work experiences and find something that resonates with me on a personal level:

“I know! I couldn’t set it up the first time, too!”

“Yes, that framework made things slower for me, too!”

“No way! I tried to center a floating element, too!”

Seeing that I’m not the only one who makes mistakes or struggles in certain areas makes me feel okay for where my skills are at instead of seeing myself as an unskilled developer who’s prone to mistakes. Chris recently shared his thought process working with flexbox elements — that’s exactly the sort of thing I think we can all relate to.

What you can try: We all bear some responsibility here. Let’s make people feel good when asking questions, even if they seem obvious to us. Share your own mistakes and struggles. The web is a vast and constantly evolving space and we’re all starting from different places.

I made myself the only one who decides what to make on my off-work coding marathons

Like all of you, my learning curve involves coding during my non-working hours. It could be just a new code I’m trying out or a full on side-project.

Seeing others share their side projects inspires me... at least that’s what I want them to do. That hasn't always been the case. They used to make me think I wasn't doing enough. Not enough GitHub repos. Not enough open source contributions. Not enough self-imposed challenges. Not enough WordPress plugins. And, sorry Chris, not enough CodePen demos.

With experience, however, I’ve realized there’s only one human soul that can optimally select what I should be working on, based on my skills, my preferences, my necessities and my circadian rhythm – the ghost under my bed.

Once I understood that, every single awesome and crazy side project people share online truly inspires me — or at least makes me smile, which is even better.

What you can try: Be intentional with your personal time. Prioritize what you want to learn and decide the best way for you to learn it. This post by Jason Rodriguez outlines how he planned to level up his JavaScript skills. Chris shared a mountain of ideas for learning CSS. Sarah also has great tips on prioritizing your personal and professional time.

I stopped drinking coffee

This is not up for discussion, my dear reader. 😀

What you can try: Masala Chai.

I started prioritizing my health

Here’s a very silly story. I sprained my wrists thrice in a month. I think it was a voodoo spell. The point is: it was getting harder for me to work.

I was a bit embarrassed to tell people I couldn’t work because I was injured, so I continued like nothing happened. Each time, the sprain would eventually go away because of the ointment I applied at home, but would return soon enough because I wasn’t properly resting it. At one point, the pain spread to my arms and I’d to immediately take my hands away from the keyboard and rest them on my lap. It scared me.

The next day, I started wearing a wrist cast (well, two) and informed my colleagues and technical director that I needed to take it slow.

I know this story sounds like a very simple and obvious thing — and it was a very simple thing indeed. But I learned an important lesson: Health comes first.

Our job description doesn’t come with health warning stickers, but there are consequences in reality.

What you can try: Take care of your health first. Physical or mental, chronic or acute, mild or severe, internal or external, when your health problems go away, it improves the quality of your life, personally and professionally. If you’re lucky enough to have good health insurance, use it. Schedule an annual physical exam. Listen to your body when it says it’s hungry, thirsty, or simply needs a rest.

I know, easier said than done. But it’s important nonetheless and something worth striving for.

I’ve started sharing my knowledge with others

Not in a way you might assume. I know the consensus is that we learn when we teach but I haven’t personally experienced that. I don’t learn while I teach. Instead, what I've done is focus on how someone I’m teaching could or should learn a particular thing.

“Start with the basics.”

“Read the documentation.”

“Try the demo then proceed to so and so.”

These are some of the statements I found myself repeating to those I’ve mentored.

Those same sentences echo back to me when I've to learn something new. When I teach, I pay attention to how it’s learned. And learning is the one skill that never goes out of date, especially in our line of work.

What you can try: I think you’ll probably have to wait a while before you could do this if you’re just starting out as a web developer, but if you’re even somewhat experienced and meet a wide-eyed newbie, don’t miss your chance to teach. Don't be part of the dark matter. You can teach in a variety of ways, from blogging to making demos. That said, I’ve found real life person-to-person teachable moments to be the most effective.

I realized I can’t read a code once and understand it all. So I use comments.

Here’s my comment about comments: Take them seriously.

Sometimes I can’t even decipher the code that I’ve typed with my two bare hands.

Condensation is a key element of programming languages in addition to something that causes rain. We don’t write, “add one more sheep to the herd.” Instead, we write, i++. Expecting myself to remember and understand everything in one glance simply isn’t practical.

Using well-thought comments cuts back the time it takes me to know what’s happening in the code. This is why I’ve consciously paid attention to using comments this past year. There’s no cost to using them, so go nuts!

What you can try: Take time to go through your code and leave some useful comments each time you’ve coded a module or a feature that works, especially before moving onto what’s next.

I’m not taking working code for granted

I was told margin:auto would center an element. I was told to add return(0) to an onclick event handler. I was also told to use GUID for foreign keys.

I didn’t ask why or how those things worked at the time. I simply did as they said.

I, now, however, know how they work and why I had to use those code.

When I know the basics of a piece of code, it helps me to use the same code or the same logic in scenarios other than the one I learned about it in.

What you can try: Make a quick mental, physical, or digital reminder when you come across a code that you want to know more about. Then remember to go through that list first in your free time. Don’t be afraid to ask someone why code is used a certain way.

I try to mimic extroverted web developers

* takes a deep breath *

I’m an introvert.

My introversion is not so bad that people feel uncomfortable around me. I mean, everybody likes talking to introverts because they mostly listen, right?

Although most of my work is typing in front of a computer I inevitably have to meet people, like clients, users and team members.

Communication is important. And not just the bare minimum.

When you develop a really good relationship with who you work with, your workplace becomes fun. When you develop a good relationship with your users, your work becomes successful; and when you develop a good relationship with your clients, you get more work.

I found there’s no way around it: I had to talk from time to time. I had to put myself out there.

I look at my fellow web developers who are more extroverted for communication pointers. They talk beyond about work. They give their suggestions. They encourage feedback. They drink coffee. And I try to practice that.

What you can try: If you’re an extrovert, I’ve got nothing for you. If you’re an introvert, all I can say is try. And keep trying. And that’s all you ever need to do. We can’t change our personalities, but with some practice and time we’ll learn to manage them better. In fact, it might be worth getting a better understanding of your personality type. Susan Cain’s book Quiet is an interesting (and dense) take on introversion.

I take breaks

I hate this to be true, but I turn into a Shaman soon after I start coding. An unwilling Shaman who gets possessed. The spirit that takes over me likes to only code. It doesn’t like to eat, sleep, talk to people or check Instagram. It’s a very mean spirit.

That’s why I exorcise it regularly to not cloister myself from the world. I pay attention to someone calling me. I leave the desk for tea breaks. I let my laptop’s battery die so I won’t go near it during vacation. I even have a hobby.

I don’t know if taking breaks has improved my performance or not, because I don’t think the mean spirit lacks in performance. I just think it’s good for me to not be always possessed.

What you can try: For those of you with 9-5 job, I would recommend tea breaks at 11AM and 4PM (wow, that came out very specific) And for when you work at home, I suppose you’ll have more things to do, so choose for yourself when you want the break. I like to watch TV, that would be like my ideal break time.

And... that’s it. That’s all the spookiness I could fit into this post. I shared as much of my experience as I could, as well as suggestions you might find helpful. Hope you take something good from it. This might be my final post of the year, so I don’t want to miss this chance to wish you LOTS of good luck as you go into 2020. 🍀

The post How I’ve Improved as a Web Developer (and a Person) in 2019 appeared first on CSS-Tricks.

How I’ve Improved as a Web Developer (and a Person) in 2019 published first on https://deskbysnafu.tumblr.com/

[christianalexandra-blog1]

Weekly Reflections

Week 1 and 2

I enjoyed the classes and was excited about the material that was going to be covered and the way in which it was going to be discussed throughout the semester. There is quite a heavy workload of reading/videos and follow up questions. I think it is all great material, but I don’t personally feel that it helps create great discussions in class. There’s so much information, it is difficult to pull from all of the sources during discussion. It seems to be busy work that I find to be heavily apart of an undergraduate curriculum. That aspect is not ideal for my current graduate workload, but it is doable. I was interested in the measuring daily values project, although I am still slightly unsure if the final product of what I am measuring will be substantial. Our first class that was fully discussion based about the feminism readings was good. I would enjoy hearing your (Peter) opinions in those discussions as well as my classmates. Our class with Michelina about discussing our individual projects was great. She was very helpful and gave great insight about future steps for our projects.

Week 3 

The amount of reading between the Monday and Wednesday class was excessive. The class discussion was strained due to the amount of information to sort through to speak up in the discussion. The readings are interesting and thought provoking. It is difficult enough to finish the readings due to their length, but it is even more difficult to really decipher their dense meanings when there is so much other reading to finish. The Tonkinwise lecture was great. He was so passionate about the subject matter, that it was inspiring and he took uncommon views of common topics which was very interesting. The lecture was very helpful with the next step of the measuring daily values assignment. When Tonkinwise said that one of the assignments he gave his students was to document all of the clothing they owned was very eyeopening to me because if I had to do that, it would take a very long time and I would not have enough space to put it all out at once. This made me think about the amount of clothing I own and how much of it I actually wear regularly. At this point, I realized that not only do I need to stop buying fast fashion, but I need to stop buying clothing out of habit and a desire for it. Shopping has become an activity nowadays and it should be a necessity. This is going to be an incredibly difficult change for me to implement. 

Week 4 

We had a great discussion about the slow change process and the Ethos of Things lecture by Cameron Tonkinwise. There was more participation from more of the class and I think that was because everyone had a good grasp of the information that was read and watched. The slow change process really struck home with me with so many different facets of my life. It is such a challenging endeavor to take on a slow change because there is not instant gratification and the process is never truly over. So keeping that in mind in the design process is really fascinating, while also stepping up the difficulty of the design. 

On Wednesday, we spent the class sharing our personal progress with our measuring daily values projects. I loved this class because it was the first class where I started seeing progress and understanding in my own project and I saw that for my classmates as well. It was a really interesting to hear how everyone was progressing and what conclusions they had reached so far. I was really intrigued by Surabhi’s field tests with a female holding the door for males. This is something that is so engrained in society that men are supposed to hold the doors for females that the awkward interactions that occurred make sense. However, in a gender neutral world, it should be perfectly fine for either gender to hold the door for the other. It just brought it to the forefront of my mind and I’m more cognizant about that interaction in my daily life now.

Week 5 

This week was very enjoyable because we presented our final solutions for the Measuring Daily Values project. It was really great to see what solutions each person developed, especially because we had been updating each other on our project progress. 

On Wednesday, Jamie Edwards came to talk to us about her work about promoting gender equality at CMU. This was an awesome presentation. She had great information and it was such a relevant topic. Especially having been a female in a heavily male dominated workplace and dealing with gender equality in the school setting again, her presentation really hit home. The only thing I wasn’t sure about was if we were supposed to join in the conversation with personal experiences and stories or if she just wanted general answers to her questions. If this was clarified beforehand, I think that presentation would have even been slightly better. 

Week 6

The argument mapping was interesting because I am a visual person and it helped me understand arguments better by writing them out and visually seeing their structure. I felt like the lecture covering the argument mapping was repetitive after doing the 2 hour homework assignment about it, I think that was why the discussion was slightly strained. I enjoyed the using the argument mapping on the bell hooks and Cheryl Sandberg writings, it was a good exercise to think through it with the newly learned argument mapping skill. 

I choose to look at Express for the A2 project about organization ethos. I thought I could look into their business model and the fact that they constantly have sales because their clothing is so overpriced. 

Week 7 

The Allan Chochinov video was so interesting and inspirational because he spoke about real everyday issues and made it so relatable. It was a great time to see this video in my journey because the field of design is evolving and he showed struggle that is occurring in the design world. I wish the video was longer, I was so interested in the subject matter and his presentation style, I could have continued watching it for hours.

We completed a competitive analysis for the A2 project this week. I decided to switch from Express to Nike because Nike has more data and documentation to work with. I greatly enjoyed doing the competitive analysis of Nike vs. adidas, UNDER ARMOUR, and Reebok. I did it using excel and tables which is generally boring to me, but I felt so creative coming up with ways to compare them based on gender. 

Week 8 

This week did not include much discussion or lectures because we went over our progress with the A2 project on Monday and the presented our final pitch on Wednesday. I GREATLY enjoyed this class. I did not know how this project was going to culminate throughout the process, but I am so happy with the final product. I felt like it was a well researched and supported pitch that was feasible and easily implementable. With the first two projects I was unsure of the process and what would come of them, but they both have proved to be challenging and mind opening the best way. I so far love this course and all of the topics it brings to light. It is inspirational and is something I am considering as part of my future career. It’s also great seeing the work of my classmates because I gain so much knowledge and insight from their work as well. I love how small the class is and how inspired and hard working all of the students are; it makes the class so much more fulfilling and enriching. 

Week 9 

SPRING BREAK

Week 10

We started our A3 projects this week. As with the first two projects I’m not very sure where I’m going with the project or where sustainability comes into play. I am interested in the subject because I have quite a few qualms with my program and the people involved in it and I am so far enjoying actually structuring my argument, it is helping me better understand where I stand in regards to the program. I am very interested in where this project is going to end up because I have been very happy with my previous two projects. I also am excited to see what the other students in my program end up with because I have noticed that there are different opinions of the program from American students and from foreign students, so I am interested to see what everyone sees as issues in the program and what their solutions are. 

Week 11

This week we had the Bourdieu readings. On Monday, I was incredibly confused with the readings and in the discussion, I felt like I hadn’t even read them because they were very dense. I thought it was a great idea for us to start breaking the readings down before the lecture with Kate on Wednesday. 

Once I read the reading for Wednesday, I understood it much better because of the foundation laid in class on Monday. I was really fascinated with the reading because it rang so true to society and life in general. I am still not completely sure of what all qualifies as a field, but I have a good general idea of some examples. I also understood the reading better because I had the time to read it, highlight it and spend time actually dissecting it for my own understanding. 

I really enjoyed the class on Wednesday with Kate because of the activity we did. I enjoy discussion but putting the reading into our lives with an activity made it easier to understand and also brought more inspiration and greater understanding of my A3 project. It really brought to light a great deal of not innovative or integrated practices that I have noticed in my program that I think would be really interesting to further dissect. 

Week 12

On Monday, we quickly discussed the Tony Fry readings. The idea of having to change the habitus of a situation before you can implement redirection through design was really mind opening to me. It makes so much sense, but I don’t think I would have come to that conclusion so concisely on my own or anytime soon. For redirection to truly last through the slow process of change, the preconceived habitus of the people involved has to change or eventually they will revert back to their prior notions and actions. This was a great reading within the A3 project that we are completing because implementing the suggestions for our programs would require a habitus change of all of the stakeholders involved in program. 

The one-on-one conversations with Michelina and Peter about the progress of our project was so helpful. I felt like we were able to delve so much deeper with just the two of us instead of with the whole class involved. It really helped me rework my project and develop a final solutions and presentation that I was proud of. From developing my past three presentations for this class, I have realized that I really love developing how to present an argument efficiently and effectively. That has been a nice realization for me to utilize that skill outside of this course. 

Week 13

I really enjoyed everyone’s presentations on Monday. It was interesting to see what people found as an issue in their program and how they came up with solving it. It was even more interesting how multiple students from each program, found similar problems and developed different solutions to solve them. It seemed like the common issue found with the III was the portrayed image did not match the reality. It was good to know that I was not the only one feeling this way. I think a big takeaway from this project is that there is power in numbers and collaboration. If Grae, Ke Zheng and I joined forces, our combined identification of the problem and our combined solutions has a better chance of solving the problem.

I loved Wednesdays class, the exercise that Michelina led was amazing and came at such a great time. I hope to take it further by myself and read that book to help me with my future transition after my current program. It was also really nice to do it with partners because I felt very comfortable with Surabhi and it was nice to know that we were both okay with being vulnerable and genuinely doing the exercise together. 

Week 14

I really enjoyed the readings about liminality, mattering maps, and especially the ‘To Feel Meaningful is to Feel Immortal’ article. I struggle with those existential questions all of the time, I think there is a continuous struggle of finding meaning in all stages of life. I personally feel that it is healthy to continually self reflect and grow, but it is not the easiest. 

I enjoyed Kate’s class, but I found the subject matter difficult to talk about in a group setting. Even though I know we should be comfortable in our class by this point, it is still hard to talk about some personal things in a group setting. 

We’ve been working on A4 for about a week now and I am really struggling with it. I am having resistance to going through this process. I know that when you experience resistance to something, it usually means that it is something that you really need to do. I think that is what is happening here, defining my ethos is a challenge, but I know it will help further me in my personal self discovery. I am excited for this project, I just need to get past the resistance to actually do it well and deeply. 

Week 15

I enjoyed The Age of Unworldliness reading, partly because I could understand it. I think it brought up greats points about our current society. The easy access to information is beneficial to efficiency, but it does change the quality of information that people are getting. The expectation of instant gratification causes people to go to less trustworthy sources to get their information. Furthermore, the dependence on technology has decreased people having experiences of their own. People would prefer to watch a documentary, look on pinterest, etc. than going out and experiencing something on their own. This reading was so true that it was kind of scary because society is so consumed with efficiency that it is going to continue speeding up in pace, which will increase the negative aspects that the reading brought up. 

When we broke up into pairs to discuss our progress on A4, Michelina really helped me get past one of my hangups with the project and helped me better define what direction I was going in. I was struggling with who I was going to present this to because it is so personal and I do not feel that I would ever present this to anyone in this format. Michelina said that I should present it to myself as a form of self discovery. I was also planning on going in one specific direction of my mattering map for the presentation, but Michelina helped find the overarching theme that my entire mattering map supported. I am excited to finish this project because I think it is going to teach me a lot about myself, I just have to keep pushing through my resistance to it. 

Week 16

I am so sad for this amazing class to be over. It has taught me so much, educated me, and helped me grow in awareness and knowledge. Although sometimes it was still tough to share our personal experiences in class, I really appreciated the people in the class. No matter how much we were able to talk amongst ourselves, I feel like there is a bond and understanding between all of us. I think this course will stay with us forever and continually influence us in our future careers and lives. 

I was incredibly frustrated with the fact that my presentation would not present properly, I felt like that ruined my presentation, but I am still happy I got to somewhat share my ethos with the class. I know I need to continue down this path to better define my ethos. 

This week was so wonderful. The presentations were beautiful, courageous and well done. The vulnerability that people put into them and the growth visible throughout the class was amazing. I think it was a wonderful day to end on. I’m just so grateful that I was able to be apart of this class with Peter, Kate, Michelina, and the other students that took it this semester. It was powerful.