#it's part of how i express my gender

[starryeyedbutch]

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[dennisboobs]

blacked out and came to with a document full of macden

[corfisers]

the thing about the dudebro discussion, the aita post, the willingness to just take at face value any accusations directed at a person you don't know, is that it's all so painfully transparent, it's so obvious that those conversations are happening at this scale specifically because it's about trans women. maybe it's just me, but you generally shouldn't be using certain terms for people unless you know that they are comfortable with them, and if you fucked up then apologize and move on (if we pretend for a second that the majority of dudebros weren't feign ignorance or just actively malicious to begin with). you should be aware that some things don't affect you the same way they affect other people, and you definitely shouldn't be giving those people potentially dangerous advice on topics that you personally aren't familiar with, this is the baseline, at least don't fucking put other people who were misled into trusting you in danger. and if an anon barges into your inbox with some wild accusations then you should stop and think "hey, why are you coming to me anonymously with no evidence to back any of this up, and in such a way that i have to reply to you publicly so more people get to see this" regardless of who it's directed at. like, those are all pretty simple things, or they should be at least, but because the targets are trans women and transmisogyny is so fucking rampant everyone has to bend over backwards to come up with excuses as to why treating trans women this way is perfectly normal and justified.

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

getting intense joy from painting my nails wasn’t an expected outcome of my day but it is definitely a welcome one!

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

a friend body doubled for me today while i went through pretty much all my clothes and i ended up getting rid of a bunch of old clothes from highschool that i enjoyed objectively bc they’re pretty, but i felt SO uncomfortable in bc i was trying so hard to be someone else.

anyway that also led to us talking about gender and presentation and stuff bc he’s also a NB trans masc person. and i don’t think i’ve had a conversation that felt that good and honest in like. years.

i also came to the realization that for the first time in my life i feel Hot. and it has SO much to do with my hair being shorter. like, i’ve felt cute or pretty at times, but never hot.

but now? me with short hair in black jeans and a flat black sports bra with open flannels or muscle tees and shit? i feel SO good.

anyway thanks for listening to me talk about how hot i am and how great it feels to have other queer people in my life.

[chaos-in-one]

Hey yeah just wanted to jump in and say I have realized I am not actually non-dysphoric, due to realizing how intensely upset I've been about the fact that almost no one seems to see my gender as what it actually is. I was simply having problems recognizing my own emotions because of my issues with dissociation.

I do also want to make it very clear that while I may have realized I experience dysphoria, and that me thinking I didn't was due to mental health issues, I still very much support non dysphoric trans people and do not think anyone else should be pushed to believe they secretly experience dysphoria or don't know their own emotions just because that was the case for me.

[fioreofthemarch]

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[musical-chick-13]

*puts my head in my hands* The reason that so many of us say, "I don't trust people who say that all men are evil no exceptions you should never interact with any of them for any reason" ISN'T because we are coddling abusive men, it's because we a) don't want to get into bioessentialism territory, and b) are WELL aware of your history of using this rhetoric to blame women who are abused by men because "Well men are horrible, what did she expect, she brought this on herself."

[moe-broey]

Anyways I'm back from The Labyrinth and Philadelphia (may or may not qualify as a labyrinth itself)

[bazingerrr]

Starting to feel more comfortable with the blank space that is my gender, My Self inserts have actually been really nice since I’m not really able to explore gender expression irl very well

(not cause of safety more because of the fact I am a little apathetic towards the thing that carries me around most of the time,- Me- the brain, the thing- my body)

Generally I dress for comfort and I just focus on its basic necessities most of the time so You can only tell when I’m really invested in dressing feminine on specific days- Ie. I put an effort into my appearance on days that both match the fact I am not exhausted and also days where I feel the urge to present a certain way, There has been a few instances where I dressed and did my make up last month, and I was really enjoying my comfort look recently too at felt kind of masculine(?)

My gender expression has been a confusing road and I’m just happy to have the choice of whether I can safely present as whatever I feel is right without needing to worry about anything, it also helps that Everyone’s more focussed on themselves and their friends now a days to comment on anything I’ve got going on!

I’m going to get a binder soon, and I’m really excited about it because I want to get a few black long sleeve shirts too (Default Masculine idea in my mind) Hopefully I can feel better on days where I’m aligned in that direction with these as tools, since I only have an easy access to presenting feminine if I want to right now,

Then again I could just get 10 riddler shirts and call it a day,

Back on how my self insert helps- I wrote some stuff on one of them presenting as Male —there was shenanigans involved cause he met his friend and his friend didn’t recognise him— self insert was a shapeshifter- but it was nice to write something like that,

Sometimes When I look in the mirror I see someone that I don’t really like too much, but it’s really nice when I feel ‘the joy’ cause on those days I don’t see that person— who I am I see a pretty boy or a pretty girl, A lot of my self insert and shipping stuff helps in that way too— Disconnecting my mind from my matter(?) When I see myself objectively I don’t see all my mistakes and shortcomings, I just see a person,

And I like feeling like a person, sometimes anyway,

[satans-knitwear]

What's it like being a she/they?

Comforting. A constant learning experience. A relief. Living.

[captaindibbzy]

I think it's important to let guys be gender non conforming without telling them they're a girl, cause actually misgendering people is still shit even when you are pro trans. "You're a girl, an egg waiting to crack, and that's ok" how about you are a boy and a man and it's still ok if you want to do something that doesn't align with traditional ideals of your gender. You can still be he/him¹ in a skirt and makeup.

Edits:

¹ People in the notes are correct, He/Him does not exclusively mean male. However in my defence this was a personal rant. I did not expect it to break containment quite this much so this is litterally just first draft brain dribble. I stand by the principle that gender is personal expression and not a dictation. He/Him ladies and She/Her men can do what they want with their gender. And they can also rock traditionally feminine styled fashion if they want to.

TERF's however can fuck off. This is a pro-Trans space, and this post was inspired by watching people be so pro-trans they reinvent the gender binary, which is in large part due to over enthusiastic Cis people.

Why has this post been iced?

Cause it has been going since August 2023 and I'm fucking sick of being told I'm a transphobe for saying respect the pronouns people give you even when they're wearing fucking pink eyeshadow.

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

[riverofrainbows]

I'm breaking out of the conformity of my family, and stopped gaslighting myself based on how understandable and rational for them other people find my decisions, and god, i understand why teenagers go a bit crazy and cry a lot. This is exhausting. It's also the best thing I've ever done, but it's really hard to be adult and good communication and mature emotional coping about this.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

having a lot of inarticulate thoughts about pericles' genderousness this evening, in particular how i imagine/interpret his expression of it having changed over time, but they will not coalesce. when will my one brain cell for queer readings return from the war

[ghostificati0n]

something i learned from critique in art class is that when ur getting critiqued u shouldnt start pointing out all the flaws immediately because most of the time people dont see them like you do. its not bad to ask if theyre bothering anyone after you get a general opinion on the piece, but its good to avoid deprecating it.

i think that translates perfectly to how you present yourself. you shouldnt deprecate everything you do because most of the time people arent going to notice your flaws unless you point them out (or they already hate you ig). im not good at applying that now, but i want to improve at it!