#it's rambling

[dyrewrites]

I have come to the realization that a lot of people like the concept of Weald and Wen (and the Mar series it'll lead to) but they get lost on the lack of people.

My intention was not to write a furry novel, and I maintain that I did not, but they certainly aren't human.

->I'm going to ramble a bit, it seems, as I did and am now going back to warn you and put it under a cut<-

Faerai could be considered anthro, I'll give you that, her species and one of the main antagonists of the first book's species are certainly furry-adjactent.

The others are fairytale or mythic monsters though. Not entirely, it's not 1:1, and I didn't do it on purpose but I did notice and lean in a little.

Mitra is a fairy.

Delgrij is a dryad.

Parnamyr is an evil puppet.

That's your main cast through four books. Four big books if the first is any indication.

There are no humans. There are no ties to our world or anything likely recognizable as it. This is a purely fantasy world that little me used to escape into when the real one got to be too much.

And if you read this monster of a book at any point, you may wonder how that worked exactly. As Mar is not a nice place. It is a hostile place. The Weald and Wen especially (hence it being the beginning, there are so many reasons for that actually but I don't think anyone wants me to yammer about it).

I am worried, genuinely so, that these things are going to turn people away. I'm going to write the series anyway, I have no choice, these idiots live in my noggin and demand I write their story.

But I worry. Both that the nonhuman of it all will deter, but also of the genre "dark fantasy" seems to be in so many spaces (hint; it is not adventures through a dreary alien world).

Is this my favorite of my projects? No, it is not, it is in fact deeply stressful and brings me back to places I'd rather forget. But I adore this world and these characters and I cannot imagine a reality where I don't write this series and a bunch of sidestories in it.

Will anyone care is the question. Will this be for me and me alone (not even family can manage reading it, with my husband saying it's too "fucked up" for him). Will people get into the prologue, realize it's about furry creatures and give up? Will they see the genre and think "enemies to lovers romantasy", hop in, freak out, get a refund and write something nasty in the review (I'd almost pay to see that one actually, someone do that it'll be great)?

I dunno...I just...wanted to ramble about this. Kind of worry out loud in a way I spose.

Closer it gets to finished, the more worried I get.

I know people will love Before Deluca, and I'm sure someone will enjoy Pale Blood's weird grasp of narrative, but Weald and Wen is...a lot and I'm worried it won't have an audience. Which would suck.

I can accept it failing miserably to turn a profit (writing being what it is, I never expect one) but for no one to even try it...that might kill me.

[downthepub]

The problem with the ending of Good Omens 2 and people being so upset about it is like, you never believed in it, you never thought anything about heaven could be good, but Aziraphale did, has, and wants to. Agnostic / atheist people may find this more clear cut, but folks who grew up with strong religious beliefs have to at least get it on some level. Like it's more complicated than just "be with you bf bc you love him."

Let me put it in a secular context.

Imagine you, a citizen, "hate" your country because you're so disillusioned with the government and things it's done and / or is currently doing. But suddenly you have the opportunity to get a high up position in that government with the promise that you can make a difference and help people and maybe even change the system from the roots up.

Your own view of the government hasn't changed; you don't like where it's been, or where it's at, but you believe in the people who live under that authority, you love and want to help them, you want to make amends, fix things, change things......even if it costs you something, and you never wanted to be a government employee in the first place. It's a hard decision but it's not about putting yourself first, it's not about "hating" your country, it's about doing what's right.

Meanwhile the person you're dating not only disagrees with this choice but says fuck your country, we need to run away together halfway across the world, we don't need your country, you hate it too, don't you? Why didn't you say no?? And uhhhhh....it's more complicated than that. Your world doesn't work in "do whatever you want and never consider anyone else" ways. It works if you take responsibility and do good when you can.

And perhaps someday you will realize you couldn't make a difference, but right now, this is the moral choice you will regret if you don't make, and loving someone who wants to just run away from that is very complicated and painful.

Because they're not who you thought they were, and you're not who they thought you were, and this is something you can't compromise on. There's no "in-between" right now for this decision. He's an anarchist, you're a liberal, or whatever parties / political ties you want to associate with. He's ready to tear it all down or just walk away; you want to do whatever good you can with the tools at hand, and fix what's wrong, help people where they're at now.

You take your chance and go and do the good you can and try to change the world, or you walk away because someone else says you should - not because you actually think you should walk away.

It's going to break your heart no matter what, but it's not a question you can dodge. Take the chance and do what you believe is right, or go and be with the person you love, but know you made the choice you didn't think was right, and that they don't really understand what makes you tick.

Actually I was surprised and blindsided because I somehow also thought Crowley wanted to be on the side of fixing things, through whatever means possible, opportunities inside or outside of channels. The way he talked in S1 about God and good and evil and regrets and questions, didn't make me think he would be 100% opposed to a chance to go back, to do some things differently, to work to change things. He's clearly willing to march into heaven on a mission, in disguise etc.

And obviously Heaven is not equal to God in this universe where God is a mysterious and terrifying force with inexplicable motives that Heaven (at best) tries to interpret in muddled and toxic ways, while Hell simply goes against whatever they think Heaven or God might stand for. But Heaven does have a lot of power and *some* tenuous link to the divine, however messed up, and it's quite easy to see a disillusioned angel finding the chance to influence and work within this system painful and difficult, but necessary.

And yet my own religious related trauma gives me Crowley's same visceral "fuck no" reaction to the idea of going back and working inside the lines, working within the system, bowing my head in obedience to something I don't follow anymore, can't follow anymore.

To believe that the connection to the divine is owned or usurped by people and systems who have actively used it to hurt and oppress, to do bad things and make excuses for and cover up other bad things, all while claiming to be holy and perfect and above critique themselves. It can make one actually feel a bit sick to think about it too hard.

Once again, it's More Complicated Than That, more complicated than just going along and working in the system. Crowley seems to see nothing redeemable in the system, it's pure toxicity, something to escape, not try to fix, not even try to save or help the people caught up and hurt in it. Just get away before they get you again.

There's no simple compromise, no in-between here. They still love each other deeply. And can't fix this by simply one of them changing their minds. No quick fix. It's about what they actually believe and doing what they each think is right. A separation, a distance, a love from afar, and very much being disappointed in each other not being on the same page.

But they just aren't. They aren't on the same page. They can't be right now. It's honestly not even about who's right or wrong, because it's More Complicated Than That. They really are living the Free Will Version of their own lives, with all the responsibility and pain that comes with that. It's not always the happy, easy stuff where things get to stay the same.

They are making choices, and they are living with those choices. And, just like humans, they are saying OUCH on the inside, very loudly.

[hollowboobtheory]

hot take apparently but i think it's good for white people to relate to poc's art. i think it's good for straight people to relate to queer art. stop acting like we're different species who could never possibly understand each other what the fuck is wrong with you

[tundrakatiebean]

I have come up with a better metaphor than “you can’t pour from an empty cup” for burnout. You can’t boil an empty kettle. Pouring from an empty cup just gets you nowhere. Trying to boil an empty kettle can ruin the kettle, the stove, and burn down your house if you keep trying it.

[dragonbleps]

survived checking my bank account. i deserve a little treat

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

Love it when Rolling Stone puts out an article about the 25 most influential internet creators and I've only heard of 7 of them

[cottoncandysprite]

Does tumblr know about the animation union yaoi yet

[scorndotexe]

you will live and you will say the wrong things and make mistakes and people will love you anyways.

[jellyjamheadobb]

[muttmoxley]

sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

[goldensunset]

[sp1resong]

being self aware suuuucks like yeah this thought pattern/behavior is stupid and pointless and a symptom. i know this. [does it anyways

[scrawnym4]

”pdf file” “unalived” “grape” “corn” what if i killed myself right here right now

[hollowboobtheory]

ok but like. there are two different types of privilege. there's type a "everybody should have this, but some people don't" and type b "nobody should have this, but some people do"

there's having parents who can pay for your application to any college, and then there's having parents who can bribe your way into any college. there's owning your own home, and then there's owning 50 houses and getting rich off hoarding a vital resource. there's not fearing for your life whenever cops are around, and then there's being the cop and being allowed to murder anyone at any time.

idk i just feel like that's an important distinction to make.

[foldingfittedsheets]

Back in 2017 I signed up for one of the Cards Against Humanity sillies and did their Cards Against Humanity Saves America. Basically they were like fuck Tr*mp and his border wall and used the funds from the campaign to buy land and to make all 150,000 contributors part owners of said land across the US/Mexico border.

It was fun and silly and I got a little certificate.

Today I got an email that Elon Musk illegally annexed that land for SpaceX and that CAH are suing him over it. So possibly I’ll get like $100 if they manage to win a lawsuit and stick it to Musk. It’s like even more bang for my original buck.

[tendercherie]

forgive me lord for I have imagined a life far more soft and tender than the one you created for me