#it's so difficult | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mechanicalinfection · 5 months

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Shaky hands.

I'll be talking about my condition under the cut, so be warned! other than that I hope you enjoy this piece.

Ig you can count this as a vent but. Anyways. Things haven't been great lately, that's all I can say for sure.

I've been thinking about quitting art lately, which I never think about, ever. Since art is literally my pride and joy, it's a skill im actually proud of it and worked for, but lately it just isn't fun. Not anymore. I've been drawing for people lately, not for myself.

It's just so frustrating too, I always have so much high expectations when it comes to my art and when it doesn't happen or I don't achieve it, everything feels. Awful, and horrible and I always end up thinking that I should've never become an artist in the first place. And that I'm an imposter or something amongst other artist that are criminally underrated, since clearly they deserve the recognition more, they deserve it more than me.

But moving on from the actual topic I wanted to talk about, is how my hands are just. So shaky. It's been so difficult to even bear with, I can't draw properly usually when it happens and it frustrates me deeply since I want to draw. But it's forcing me not to. And I don't know what to do about it, I just want to be able to draw. I want things to be fun again.

Sometimes I think blowing up and becoming known was a mistake. I worry about pumping out art everyday that I just get so burnt out. I push myself through my own limit and this is the result I get. Shaking hands, messed up sleep schedule, haven't eaten properly lately, all to pump art.

I'm tired.

#art #digital art #vent under the cut #the mechanic's crafts #personal art #something more. personal to me.#fnaf #springtrap #spring bonnie #ive been suffering from shaky hands for a while #and it's been. a pain #it's so difficult #everytime i try and draw i just.#mhn #seasonal depression wooooo ...#vent art

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sofysta · 1 month

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Me and who?

#♡#me and who?#when?#it's so difficult #♡jour♡

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lonicera-edulis · 2 months

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Actually making myself to practice because I want to upgrade my skill level. But damn.

#it's so difficult #also need to make myself focus on commissions somehow #I don't know how #I actually upgraded a lot thanks to drawing hobbit fanart xD #I just need to figure out how to make better composed and finished works

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thethirdman8 · 7 months

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#survey says #robert de niro #and there's more #taxi driver #for me #it's so difficult

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bobbinalong · 2 years

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might cry.

#dc #dc pride 2022 #connor hawke #listen i don't know how in character this story is because i know nothing about conner hawke (yet)#*connor #but like ... i genuinely think this is so nicely put #because how do you listen for silence when everything around you is so loud #how do you determine the absence of something #it's so difficult #and to come to the conclusion that yeah this silence is me and this silence is beautiful and it's good that way and it's not #ruining anything #well it's nice to read about something like that #i don't think i ever have #asexuality

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valsilverhand-archive · 10 months

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.

#negative cw #i wish my brain was normal #i'm tired #and i hate that i dwell #i can't concentrate on anything long enough before the negative thoughts just creep back in #it's so difficult #i might just take a few meletonin and crash bc i can't handle it anymore

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angeltannis · 1 year

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“Trapped with the squirming corpses on the boiler room floor, he’d been ready to give up. A few more seconds would have been enough for him to undo the knot and allow himself to be pulled ever deeper into the endless silty floor. He would have breathed his last there, clasped in a deathly embrace that would never ever let him go.

He’d believed he was finished. But apparently, Vanna wasn’t ready to give up on him yet.”

My second and final piece for Darcy Coates’ wonderful spooky novel From Below. This one took me just shy of two months to finish, but it was worth it, because I loved this book!!

#from below #darcy coates #underwater #zombies #horror #baphomart #i havent drawn humans in a long time lol #it's so difficult #anyways this is the longest ive spent on an art piece so far #From Below wasnt technically the book that got me Back into reading as an adult - but it's certainly the one I got most invested in #i'd never drawn dive suits or zombies or even underwater scenes at all dsfdjf but i was like. Im gonna Learn.

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gooboogy · 4 months

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I wish I could find more posts about did that I relate to

#it's so difficult #it's mostly alters stuff #which is a whole other can of worms for me #it would really help with the “I'm obviously just faking things” feeling #goobabble

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lupicalled · 1 year

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my razor looking at all the cyno’s after lisa says they’re siblings

#( ooc . )#spoilers #windblume spoilers #razor vc: uncle?#anyway how my cyno simps feeling #with that lore dump #also RAZOR #also also im on my tablet atm #i hate using it for rp #it's so difficult #but at least i can sign on razor and shit post

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fantoccia · 7 months

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"Angie have you even tried to play this game?"

#it's SO DIFFICULT #I'M BABY I NEED A BABY MODE MOD #IT TOOK ME AGES JUST TO GET THROUGH THAT FIRST TOWER #THEN I IMMEDIATELY DIED THE INSTANT I WENT TO THE NEXT FRAME #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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happyfreeconfusedaandlonely · 8 months

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a nervous breakdown at 6pm wasn't on my to-do list for the day. but here we fucking are.

#nervous breakdown #i can't do it #too many thoughts #crying #it's so difficult #i can't i can't i can't #life is so unfair #anxitey

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mazuwii · 2 years

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Me on my way to write my millionth Reiner fanfiction

#I can't write about another man #it's so difficult #is this an addiction?#reiner braun #whats so special about him #why do i keep-#i wanna try writing the arranged marriage trope #so bad #but it might work better with erwin #levi #or jean #i feel like bonus for jean #hell even porco!

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artdesb · 2 years

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Sculpture 06

#shelby as reference #but because i don't think it looks like him i'm not gonna tag it hahah #need to practice more eyes #it's so difficult

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randomguy2015 · 9 months

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Saturday, August 5th, 2023/12:41 AM

I deserve kindness.

The thought of moving on hurts a bit less.

I deserve kindness.

I still think about her.

I deserve kindness.

I did the best I could in my situation with the knowledge and skills that I had.

I deserve kindness.

She's not obligated to have me in her life because of that.

I deserve kindness.

I realize I have other bad thought patterns from older relationships that I need to break.

I deserve kindness.

I feel like I'm pushing people away.

I deserve kindness.

I feel lonely.

I deserve kindness.

It's so fucking hard, man. I just wanted to be a good partner and friend, and somehow I ended up pushing two people away within 6 weeks, maybe three in two months. I didn't want any of this to happen. I feel so unworthy of love, compassion, kindness, or anything good. I tried my hardest to do what I thought was right, and none of it worked out. I just want to fix everything, but I know that's not possible. I'm trying to be kind to myself, but it's difficult when I feel like everything is my fault and none of it would've happened if I had just done things differently, even though I didn't know how to. It just feels like I'm going to have these people exit my life and I won't have anyone equally as good enter for one reason or another. I'm trying to be better, I know I deserve kindness, but it's just so fucking difficult.

#I'm fucking crying in my room alone #I don't know how to fix it #I don't know what to do #I feel helpless #I tried my best and it wasn't good enough #I tried to do what's best for other people and felt lonely #I tried to do what was best for me and got pushed away #it's so difficult #I need to keep trying #personal #talking to the void #randomguy2015

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ladsofsorrow24 · 1 year

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drawing denji is fun to me, but yoshida tho... it's such a struggle to draw him

#character with very slight expressions is VERY difficult to draw #like... to capture how handsome yet shady he is #it's so difficult #but i hope i can do him justice #tmi tag

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lifeasaninfp · 2 years

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I'm going into 3rd year of university!! Ahhhhh!

#what a relief!#didn't think I'd make it #psychology degree #it's so difficult #those pesky exams nearly had me!#ooof #time to celebrate #yay #whoop whoop

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