#its a monster right so i dont have to get the anatomy super right right?

[sheepalmighty]

The final sacrifice

This piece that remained incomplete for a few years but I decided to work on recently looks godawful but I thought I'd upload it anyway. I enjoyed getting lost painting little details here and there. I also have many thoughts and feelings about ACZ that I hope I've partly conveyed here.

Closeups just 'cos:

And I really liked how I drew Galm-Cipher in the original sketch I made so I'm including it here too (unfortunately small because I didn't keep the original sized one):

[queerbuckleys]

Hi! Fic req here if you’re comfortable with it. I live for Buck reassuring Eddie. So maybe if you could incorporate eddie’s jealousy of taylor or an oc that’d be cool!

okay i really tried with this and umm I created a monster (?) that i dont even know fits this prompt (?)

It's also basically all dialogue too which is um, not always super fun to read, so sorry about that :| I also sorta feel like they are both a little out of character.

There are moments I really like but i dont know how i feel about how they all came together.

Anyways, enjoy!

Spoilers for 4x14

[1k words | coming out | crack treated seriously | love confession]

"What is up with you lately Eddie? You’ve been…” Buck wants to say quiet, but Eddie is a quiet sort of person, “...distant since you broke up with Ana.” They were in the kitchen, falling into their routine of tidying up after putting Chris to bed.

To an outsider, nothing had changed really about their relationship, Eddie was still supportive and warm towards Buck, Buck was still around all the time for him and Chris. They still had their at least weekly video game and movie nights. But to the two people in it, there was something amiss. Something had shifted just a tiny bit for Eddie, and Buck absolutely noticed. He just couldn’t figure out what or why.

“You never really told me why that happened. You two seemed really happy. And she was great with Chris. I mean, I am sure you had your reasons, and I support you but I want to understand.” Buck said, grabbing them each a beer from the fridge for while they put away the dinner dishes.

“I uh, I realized something, well multiple things around when and after I was you know,” he gestures to his shoulder and Buck nods, “And those things have implications about my future. I don’t know if I am ready for anyone to know what those things are yet, but when I am, you will be one of the first people I tell.”

“Well, I can tell that this is something big. I’ll be here for you when you are ready. No matter what kind of changes it may bring.”

“I know.” he wants to change the subject, but all he can think about is Buck and Taylor, which he would prefer not to hear about, but he’s a good friend, “What about you? How are things with your girlfriend?” he regrets asking immediately, something seethes in his brain, and he clamps his jaw tight to prepare to hear about how happy Buck and Taylor are.

“Taylor?” Eddie nods slightly and takes a sip of his beer before returning to sorting the silverware, “We kissed like twice, and went one a singular date! When I was not in the right headspace, she wasn’t really either. We care about each other. She’s my friend.”

“Wait, what?” a fork slips from his fingers and drops neatly into its container jostling the others,

“I can have friends outside of the firehouse Eds.” Buck replies, still stacking plates like usual.

“Yeah, I know that. But last time she brought you coffee during a shift, then said, and I quote, ‘see you for date night Buckley.’ then left.”

“Well, first of all, she brought us all coffee cause the machine was broken and there was no way we were surviving without it. Second of all, that’s an inside joke for when we watch Grey’s Anatomy together and talk about the hot doctors, she bullies my cause my favorite hottie is Mark, and I bully her cause her’s is April and that is sooo egotistical like they are nearly the same person-” Eddie chokes on his sip of beer, “Oh, you have no idea what I am talking about do you, sorry.”

“No, uh, it’s fine, just uh, never realized you uh like m-that show that much. Guess there are still things I don’t know about you. Sounds like fun.” he picks up a knife and places it in the correct slot.

“Yeah, we usually get a little drunk and complain about being in love with oblivious idiot c-”

“Being in love with oblivious idiot whats Buck?” The tightness in his jaw had melted and instead there was hope pulling at his heart, as much as he wanted to put a stop to it. The spoon he is about to put away becomes glued in his hand,

Buck took a breath, “Coworkers. She’s kinda head over heels for the weather girl at the station and um, I uh, I know it’s um, gonna change things between us, but what I said still stands, I’m here for you, and if that means taking some time a part, I’ll hate it but I will deal.” he says closing the cabinet door and turning towards Eddie,

“Why would I ever want to take time apart from you?”

“Because Eddie, did you not just hear me?”

“You’re in love with a coworker.” he said matter of factly,

“Yes. And who out of the people we work with, the only other person who isn’t already basically married, could I possibly be in love with?”

“Oh.”

“So I understand if you need time to process that-”

“Buck, would you just let me talk for a second before making that assumption.” Buck snaps his mouth shut, “I don’t care. Well I care but not in the way you are thinking...I am doing this all backwards, fuck. This is not how I was planning on doing this but I guess this is what we are doing tonight. You know those things I realized-”

“Hey, if you aren’t ready, that’s,”

“No, it’s okay. The thing that was holding me back, well, turned out to be nonexistent, so, I realized that I am bisexual.” the air rushed out of him and then it felt like for the first time in months, maybe even years, he could breathe. “And, Evan,” he says the name like it's a prayer sacred on his tongue, “I love you too. I am in love with you.”

And Buck has that look that he had the first time Eddie had called him Evan, just a little misty eyed, and held a bit of wonder, anticipation.

Buck takes a deep breath, “First, thank you for telling me and trusting me with that piece of yourself, I am so proud of you. And I never actually said this, so, I love you Eddie Diaz, and I don’t know if this will be too much, but you are it for me. I will never love anyone else the way I love you and Christopher. ”

“I feel the same way about you, Buck.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Buck? Am I sure? I made you the legal guardian of Christopher a year and a half ago! Of course I am sure.”

“Oh, can I kiss you now?”

“Thought you would never ask.”

[daaziscoolbesties]

i yearn for one(1) thing only, and that is to have a nice, simplistic, cartoonish artstyle. an artstyle that doesnt rely on anatomy, but the "movement" of the drawing, if you get what i mean.

i dont want realistic proportions and traditional colors and basic poses and gradient shading, i want funky lil dudes in funky poses with funky styles littering my sketchbook :( but alas i havent figured out how to develop that kind of style yet, my brain wants anatomy to look nice but also i dont want to draw eyes. i dont want to take time out of my day to learn how to draw lips i want to draw a line that extends past the characters face. i dont want all my characters to have pointy chins with curved cheeks i want their heads to be round and friend-like or full of sharp edges depending on their personalities and styles. i want to give them all not-quite human ears, blob feet, simple faces, but at the same time i want enough detail to convey the story or emotion im trying to tell.

ive spent so much time recently agonizing over how to use 3d model websites, using real-life references and tracing over them for practice, color-picking from real images to try and do realism and failing miserably, but you know whats easier than that? funky little dudes. little dudes who do not care if their legs are too long or their hair is too bouncy. i dont want my characters to look human.

ive spent enough time on the artfight website to realize that most people who classify their characters as "human" have the most basic ass designs (no offense to people who like basic human designs its just not my thing) or its like dnd-medieval style outfits which i cant draw for the life of me (ive tried). again no offense to people who actively enjoy and draw characters like that. i just need my dudes to have that certain,,, off-ness to them. tails are cool. wings are swag (especially if they arent even like,, fully attached,, ), elf ears are so wonderful to me no matter how much theyre overused, horns are so much fun to draw, and colors!! i have no knowledge in the color theory department so this works great for me!! the only thing i really know is dont shade with black, other than that i just colorpick from references usually but i dont want to do that!! i want the colors to hurt people's eyes but in a satisfying way. like the character's design is so nice to look at that you dont mind your eyes hurting a bit. like how im enjoying writing this post even though its 2 am and the brightness on my computer wont go any lower.

and then another thing ive noticed from being on the artfight website is that a lot of people classify their characters that are anthro/have anthro features under humanoids/monsters. like i made a google form to find some people to attack and someone sent me in a character with some sort of animal (wolf? idk) arms and legs. like dude!! peak character design i love her. but me personally? i cant draw that shit, its so hard for me. i tried a while back and its just Not my thing. nothing against furries i just. cant. and i dont want to either.

and i got another submission that i accidentally deleted that was like full anthro/wolf-like like my comrade,,, i cannot draw animals what makes you think i can draw an animal who acts like a human lmao. i can do like. very basic tails, and also animal ears but i cant do the arms and legs and such i just dont know the anatomy, and i know i was talking about how i dont want to care about anatomy but i feel like for anthros you really do need to know at least basic animal anatomy so you know how the limbs look and shit and i dont have that knowledge and dont feel like gaining it.

and then there were some submissions that i absolutely adored. there was one that like, was vaguely human shaped but definitely was not a human. they had a dark-ish lavender colored skin and horns and tusks and like goat ears and a sorta fluffy tail with spikes on it and they had wings and such and they were such a pleasure to draw i love them. and they had a fairly simple outfit too, nothing too complicated. and then i also enjoy object head characters, theyre so neato to me. i got one of those and i really wish i had the motivation to work on it cause it looks so fun.

i want to make funky characters but id have nothing to do with them because the only book i ever tried writing (key word tried - never got past planning it out) had strictly human characters in it, and most of the books i read are humans/humans with powers in situations specific to them so id have no idea what lore to make with the dudes. assuming i have the motivation to make lore and backstory because honestly i just really enjoy character designing its super duper fun.

(side note a song about trucks doing the deed came on just now and its interrupted my flow, apologies).

i only have three actual characters right now. one is an original roleplay oc whos design is literally athletic shorts, an oversized long sleeved grey sweatshirt, long purple hair, and demon horns. the second one is my persona whos design some sorta medival knight outfit kinda thing? but not ugly it looks really cool (idk one of my friends designed it bc i won some contest from him but the drawing was on a super small scale so idrk the details,,,) with a plague doctor mask and crown, and shoulder length wavy brown hair, dyed bright pink at the end. and then my last one im not too comfortable using other places because theyre a character my friend is using in the story hes writing, and thats really the only place theyve been used. but theyre easily my favorite and im already writing a ton so ill talk about them too.

they're a sorta elf species thing from another planet, with pale green skin and pointed ears. they also have a tail, its like,, super thin, but with a feathery bit at the end. probably not the texture of a feather but i dont know how else to describe it. they have short, curly, almost-draco-malfoy-blonde hair that when it gets too long they can put in a man bun. their eyesight is kinda shitty so when they got to earth, they were exploring some supply closets around the airship. drop off area. thing. like airport but for rocketships and also fancier. yeah. they were exploring that area and found a nice big pair of round glasses with grey frames. and they also found a cowboy-style hat and a sharpie so they wrote their name on the underside of the brim of the hat and stole the hat and glasses (but left the sharpie in the supply closet).

yeah theyre my favorite, my absolute beloved, my child, so cool. i want more characters like them but with maybe a bit more snazzier designs. theyre super cool and all but they could have more pizzazz if they werent in a story where its too late to give them more pizzazz. i just want to be able to give my characters thigh-high boots with a bunch of buckles and fluffy hair with tons of accessories crammed in and abnormally large and long ears that can harbor many piercings and horns that can hold rings on them and special little details on their outfits like who knows what but i dont have any characters to do that too, so i have to make them from scratch, which is always hard especially when you have artblock.

and i also have like 17 characters i need to fully draw, line, and maybe color for artfight before august 1st. so i dont know. i have many things to do and plenty of time to do it but instead i spend my time halfway watching repetitive youtube videos that get boring or sleeping all damn day because i stay up too late doing things like this or i just do nothing at all and its tiring and frustrating but i also feel nothing about it like theres no consequence if i dont do it besides you know. not doing it, not gaining that experience, not making something i enjoy.

so i should do it but i dont for whatever reason, i think its called executive dysfunction but im not sure. this post started out very differently than it ended and i said somewhere up there that i was writing this at 2 am but now its almost 3. this is so many words why couldnt i have put this energy into something productive

[falcoworks]

Hey do you have any tips for drawing gnolls? I want to make one of my own but I'm struggling with how to start ;v;

I think the best way to answer this is to go over my thought process for constructing gnolls, versus (for example) giving a step-by-step tutorial of the drawing process itself.

Hyenas are so expressive and that’s deffo my favorite thing about gnolls/hyena-based characters, you can push their expressions super far and get a lot of fun squash/stretch going on! From a character design perspective, there’s a ton of potential.

In my personal opinion, the biggest mistake you can make when designing a gnoll is thinking of them as a canine! I see them referred to as ‘dog-people’ in shorthand but hyenas are much more closely related to meerkats, mongooses and fossa than they are to dogs. There’s nothing wrong with this shorthand, of course – 'dog-person’ conjures a clearer image than 'feline-like-carnivore-person’ – but I wanted to clear that up in case of confusion. I mention this because it’s very easy to make a gnoll/hyena look like a chunky wolf if you’re constructing them the way you would a canine character. If you’re having trouble drawing gnolls/hyenas and getting them to look hyena-ish enough, this might be your problem.

Research, research, research! Look at lots of photos and videos of hyenas to get a sense of how they’re put together, as well as the particular features/shapes you like. I’m using spotted hyenas for my examples because they’re what inspired the design of my gnoll character, but striped hyenas and brown hyenas have unique and interesting features to consider as well (you can even take inspiration from aardwolves… I won’t tell anyone… our little secret…)

The most successful caricatures usually come from exaggerating the features of a creature that are already prominent. For example: the hyenas in The Lion King had exaggerated hunched postures and wide grinning mouths filled with huge fangs to make them look more villainous. What features appeal to you most? Caricature the hell out of them, mold them to your will!

Think about what you want your character’s personality to be like and their background (and their class if you’re using the character for a tabletop RPG!) and consider how these could all inform your design choices. For example: my D&D gnoll Ozzie is a fire sorcerer cursed with wild magic. Sorcerers in D&D don’t tend to be very strong, so I made her scrawny and wirey looking, and due to her wild magic background being a little on the tragic side I wanted her to have an “~edgy~ Hot Topic teen” sort of aesthetic, so I gave her a punkish mohawk mane, pierced ears, and face markings that mimicked heavy goth makeup.

Your gnoll might be less silly than this if your campaign is intended to be more serious, but in my opinion there’s something a bit inherently humorous about a race of hyena people with their big goofy feline-like-carnivore faces and little triangle ears, and it’s most fun to lean into that. Your mileage may vary.

It’s also worth noting, I think, that it took me months to get Ozzie from her original design to her more or less current one (and it’s changed a bit since then even!) so as with any character design repetition and experimentation are key. I must have drawn her stupid face a hundred times before I landed on a design I liked.

The instinct for some may be to give a gnoll standard “furry” anatomy, i.e. human proportions but with fur and a hyena face. Personally, though, I find more animalistic proportions work better for gnolls. Basically, I think of them more like monster characters than furries. Ozzie, for example, has longer arms and shorter digitigrade legs, and is just as comfortable on all fours as upright. The giraffe neck helps, too.

Of course this is all my personal preference and I am in no way trying to claim that there is a right way and a wrong way to make a gnoll, or that if your preferences are different from mine then they are wrong. I’m by no means a gnoll expert or authority! That said, I hope this advice helps you and best of luck in creating your gnoll.

[clown-bait]

Monster Family (Monster Roommate AU) Ch2

Eyyy fandom welcome back I’m going to be posting two chapters tonight in celebration of the up coming trailer! Enjoy my weird spider sex!

I’m going to put some additional warnings on this one: Spiders, and Oviposition are at play here. If you dont like that turn back now.

Ch2 Mike Hanlon Nearly Quits

The Derry library was finally quiet and calm on a snowy lazy Sunday afternoon. The busy morning browsers had finally begun to dwindle as they stopped in to stock up on a new mystery series then ducked back out into the cold with their entertainment for the upcoming snow storm. Mike Hanlon the head librarian decided he could take it easy for the rest of today, no one was going to show up in this weather. The remainder of the day was going to be nice and relaxing…..it was until they showed up.

“No! I am not doing this today.” the librarian groaned as an unusually tall man took several long strides to the non-ficiton section. He knew who the devilishly handsome stranger was the second he came in, the give away being in the way his baggy eyes drifted different directions and how his large delicate hands whipped the frozen beads of what was probably….hopefully drool from his plump lips.

“You are not welcome here we have a deal!” Mike chased after the disguise after being completely ignored by IT. It began tracing its fingers on the spines of books uncaring that the lighthouse keeper of The Losers Club was about to throw the biggest hardcover he could find at it. The creature finally turned to his greatest enemy when Mike found the courage to yank on his pea coat and it snapped the biology book in its hands shut causing Mike to jump out of his skin. Robert Grey grinned that disturbing wall eyed grin of his. “Hiya Mikey!”

“Leave.” the librarian growled

“Without my books? That’s not good business don't cha think?” he said as he leaned down to Mike’s level.

“What could you possibly want to find in a book?”

The disguised clown frowned and his cool steel eyes began to spark with amber. “I’m here for research Sheep Boy, remember our deal now. No phone calls, no dead kiddos.”

“I hope you’ve been sticking to it monster.” Mike spat

“Unfortunately I have.” the creature snarled and stood back up to tower over his enemy. “The things I do for family.” he muttered under his breath. “Now! About my research,”

“What makes you think I’m going to help you?” the librarian crossed his arms over his chest.

“I have given you more time to solve your little riddle have I not? I also must note that I happen to be a card carrying member of this library and last I checked it is your job to serve me yes?” The clown grinned and pulled an ancient piece of paper from his coat the name “Pennywise” scribbled on the dotted line in red child-like writing.

“I’m starting to think you don’t actually need any help at all.” Mike glared at the beast he was sure now that Pennywise’s agenda was to just humiliate him further.

The clown’s threatening posture relaxed and he let out a laugh. “Oh Mikey! While I do greatly enjoy causing you embarrassment I am genuine in my request. There is knowledge I seek that I do not have the time to observe on my own.”

“Which is?”

“Reproduction.”

“Nope.” Mike turned on his heel to leave.

“I don’t need help with the part you are thinking of, I am very skilled at mating!” the creature called after him.

“NOPE!”

Mike tried to make it to his office. He really tried, but was stopped by an extremely pale pregnant girl blocking the front of the door. A cheshire grin grew on her lips and Mike could see the enormous buck tooth front fangs she hid in her mouth. “Hey there Hanlon! Came to do some reading.” she grinned and removed her hood revealing a poorly dyed wig underneath. Color drained from Mike’s face. The clown was bad but the clown and his mate? He might as well set the library on fire.

“Need to borrow some books on spiders and What to Expect When You're Expecting do a girl a favor and point me in the right direction?”

“For the last time I will not help either of you.” the librarian growled.

“Wait who else is here?!” Leech’s ears perked up from under her wig, her face lit up when she saw Robert from across the room.

“WUFFLES!” the vampire shouted and shoved past Mike who got several looks from the elderly volunteers for not silencing the new obnoxiously loud visitor.

“Peachy pie?!” Robert grinned wide and extended his arms. “You changed your hair!” he said excitedly as he scooped her up and spun her around.

“This is a library!” Mike tried to shout over them but clearly the monsters didn't care.

“How are you feeling my love, better?”

“Yeah they've calmed down in there. Came by to pick up some reading material.” Leech placed her hands on her bump running her fingers gently over her babies. Robert got on his knees purring and cooing at his young.

“Are you giving your mother trouble my little ones?”

“Of course they are, they take after you.”

Robert growled affectionately at her and rose back up tilting his mate’s chin upwards to press a quick kiss to her lips. “I like the new color.”

“Doing rose for Valentines Day.”

“Ah yes, the holiday you won't stop reminding me about.”

“Cause you'll probably forget it.”

“Will not!”

“This is a library!” Mike shouted louder.

“Yeah it is Mikey so be quiet and bring me a book on spider anatomy.” Leech waved the poor librarian away as she plucked a medical book off the shelf and tugged on her mate’s scarf to bring him with her to a table. The pair sat down on opposite ends grinning up at one another every now and then. After a moment of reprieve from their chatter Leech once again resumed talking loudly across the table “So Ruffles what cha’ reading?”

“I'm more curious about what you're reading darling. Spider anatomy?”

“I want to know what I’m dealing with in here.”

“How coincidental. So do I.”  the disguised clown crossed his leg over the other and tapped the spine of his book on parenting. Mike slammed a book on their table labeled Spiders of the World interrupting the conversation. “I hope they're the kind that eat their parents after they're born.”

Robert stuck a long tongue out from behind a set of fangs as the librarian glared.

“Hey Bob you think I’ll lay eggs?” Leech interrupted the exchange and Mike tried to hold back the urge to throw up in his mouth as he evacuated the area.

“Most likely.” Robert cooly replied.

“I'm amazed that doesnt even phase you. How big?”

Robert shrugged and licked his finger obnoxiously to turn the page creating a spot of drool on the paper.

“Please don't damage the volumes!” Mike called out

“Please don't interrupt my reading librarian!” the eldritch snapped back making a defiant mocking face before soaking his finger with drool again. After another brief moment of quiet reading Leech flicked a pencil over at her mate’s head then waved sheepishly when he glared up at her.

“Hey! Tell me if this does anything for you.” she said as she began to rapidly tap the pads of her fingers on the books next to her. The disguised Pennywise paused his reading and glanced upward at the sound and Leech grinned making the tap again. A low curious chitter vibrated out of the creature’s throat as his eyes became a radioactive yellow. “Am I turning you on big guy?” Leech wiggled her eyebrows at him seductively. “Says here spiders drum on things to attract mates.” she tapped again louder and faster this time and Mike popped his head out from behind a shelf ready to throw them out, supernatural super beings be damned. With no warning the eldritch stood and floated up onto the table walking across it in a few short strides much to Mike Hanlon’s absolute horror. The creature hopped off with a thud nearly straddling his mate’s legs and leaned down over her as his arms trapped her shoulders to the chair.

“Faster.” he commanded. Leech blinked a few times then tapped on the book in her lap.

“FASTER.” fangs split out of the side of his face and a pair of spider limbs erupted from his back. Every person in the library merely glanced up as if all he had done was spill some water. Every person except a sweating mortified head librarian.

A dark blush of ichor formed on the nosferatu’s cheeks when she saw the hot and bothered beast practically panting above her. She began to tap again but was cut short when she found Penny’s lips crashing into her’s letting out a frantic clicking as he shoved his tongue into her mouth. Another set of arachnid limbs shot out of him to anchor him in place and the first set drummed furiously on the table as he kissed her.

“Breed with me.” he hissed out voice almost unrecognizable.

“I already did Ruffles.” Leech mumbled into his hot kisses. The creature growled and put his hands on her swollen stomach pressing his lips to her with more urgency as his tapping resumed nearly breaking the table.

“Again then...more...breed with me.” he was almost demanding it at this point. Leech couldn't help but twist a set of talons into her mate’s coat pulling him tighter to her. Before he could act Robert Grey found himself suddenly freezing and damp as Mike bravely wielded a fire extinguisher hosing him down once more when his radioactive red and yellow eyes snapped up at him.

“OUT! GET OUT! RIGHT NOW!” the librarian shouted preparing to spray again. The eldritch growled and hissed fangs extending through his gums. “I will do it again and you know I have more of these!” Mike warned them and Leech let out a loud “FUCK!” as she tried to wipe the chemicals off her jacket. Claws splintered into the chair behind her and Leech quickly snapped her fingers in her mate’s face to get his attention.

“HEY! Calm down Pen holy shit! You made a promise not to kill him remember?” The eldritch’s fangs receded back into its jaws “Come on grab your books you horny bastard it's not like we don't live together or anything.” The vampire stood up not wanting to be sprayed again and tried to calm her beloved horror shoving her book bag into his chest. “You can take me to the circus cart just don't flip out in public sheesh.”

An eldritch whine spilled out of the creature’s lips as he hoisted his mate to her feet. “Hey Hanlon I’m keeping the spider book if that's cool.” Leech grinned as her arms slipped around her monster’s slender waist.

“Its not.”

“Cool. Alright abracadabra!”

“Must you shout that every time I teleport us?”

“Let me have my fun and I’ll let you have your’s. Abracafuckingdabra.”

The creature hissed in annoyance but his massive hand still enveloped around hers cradling his mate to his body. His golden eyes flicked up as he clicked and churred at her his stare piercing into Mike with a look of mischief. Static fizzled in the air and the pair were gone along with several unchecked books. Mike sighed and began to wonder if supernatural security sensors were a thing.

----------------

They reappeared in a room that was not the circus cart and Leech found her eyes darting around the dark space. If it wasn't for her night vision she'd be completely blind in the tunnel yet she still found herself collecting sticky webbing on her jacket anyway.

“Pen where the hell are we?” she asked him who's shape had already shifted into a familiar clown.

“Nest!” he grinned down at her with pride. It was like she was in a tunnel of soft sticky webbing that reminded her of spinning cotton candy before it was wrapped around a cone. It smelled sweet and made the ground feel like a giant suspended hammock made of silk Leech pulled away from her clown to touch the walls noticing the web covered ground outside of the soft cocoon was a bit firmer. He had made a nursery for them.

“Do you like it?” her clown bounced excitedly in the soft silk bed.

“Is this what you do while I’m at work all day?” she turned to him and smiled “And here I was going to suggest you get a hobby” Leech ducked back into the funnel and flopped into the webbing that caressed her like an extremely soft bounce house. Her mate crashed beside her causing Leech to bounce up with his weight. The vampire couldn't help the chuckle that spilled from her lips and Pennywise grinned wide pushing on the webbing to bounce her more. “PENNY STOP!” she laughed and squirmed her way over to him till she was in his arms. “Its gonna need some pillows so I can lay upright.” she said leaning up “How did you make all this?”

“Do you really want to know darling?”

“It came from your ass didn't it”

“Spinnerettes”

“Which are located on your ass”

“I warned you.”

“Speaking of, weird request, but can you make me something to prop myself up with? Back is starting to hurt.”

“I brought you here to mate with you darling.”

“No shit sherlock, but I'd like to be comfortable during.”

Pennywise stood up and grumbled to himself letting his form grow and melt away with his back to her. The giant spider that stood in his place adjusted its legs as it stood delicately in its web tunnel then it arched its abdomen forward a pair of legs beginning to knit and shape what Leech assumed to be silk. She decided she wanted to watch and moved around to the front of the enormous arachnid who hissed and turned away.

“Oh come on Pen it's not like we haven't done weird shit in front of each other before, it's just knitting with your ass thread sheesh.”

The spider hissed and churred.

“Yeah yeah spinnerettes I got it. Come here let me see what you're doing” she tugged on the spider's leg who reluctantly let her turn IT. She could see the large ball of silk in its pedipalps as it worked and spun it like a white ball of cotton candy. Leech couldn't help but rest her head on the metatarsus she was holding onto gently stroking her hand up and down the arachnids limb kissing it softly. The great spider turned its head cocking it a bit to the side in its quick robotic way of moving. IT’s mate smiled up at it and kissed it again this time more deeply with soft tapping on its exoskeleton. “Have I ever told you how impressive you are underneath the paint?” Leech grinned into the hard skin of its leg. “I bet I could ride you.” IT stopped its weaving and looked down at her in silence. “I meant on your back perv.” Leech rolled her eyes and shoved ITs leg, the creature hissed in response. “Oh come on Pen what’s the point of dating a giant spider god if you don't get to ride around it every now and then especially when you're having its demon spawn. You owe me a ride.” IT made another annoyed sound before swiftly lifting its mate into the air with a hooked claw at the end of one of IT’s legs. Leech squirmed a bit in IT’s grasp until the large silk pillow was thrust into her arms. It was way bigger than she thought it'd be, in fact a large dog would be pretty comfortable using it as a bed. She was carefully set down much to her surprise at how gentle IT could be with her, deciding to settle in on her new giant cotton ball while she watched IT fuss with the web ceiling of their nest. After a long awkward silence Leech sighed and removed her bra from under her shirt flinging it at the giant creature. “Will you stop your fussing and come here already sheesh Pen. It looks fine.”

The giant spider looked down at its mate its mandibles clicking and fluttering. “How do I cuddle you in this form?”

The giant arachnid slowly moved over her and lowered itself almost mechanically until its head rested atop her swollen baby bump. Leech grinned and traced it's fangs and mandibles. The spider twitched violently until its top half became the clown who leaned into her touch. “Are you satisfied now?” he purred through hazy yellow eyes.

“I think so.” she mumbled pushing her hands into his hair as he made his way up her body. Penny continued his insectile churring and clicking against her neck and ear. When she didn't respond to his usual noises of arousal he pulled back hovering above her breathing in her emotions through her scent. Sensing she wasn't satisfied the clown cocked an eyebrow.

“Hmm?”

“Turn back.”

The clown blinked in surprise and Leech sat back up removing her shirt.

“The spider is the closest to your true form right? I want you as you really are.”

“Are you sure you know what you are asking darling?”

“Has it ever bothered me before?” she smiled pulling him to her and kissing him softly. “I want you Pen, I don't care what form you're in.”

Pennywise rumbled out a curious growl returning to her neck clicking and purring. He dragged his tongue along her flesh until soft lips became sharp fangs and mandibles. Leech opened her eyes in a daze and the spider scraped ITs fangs over her cheek. She expected the familiar feeling of teeth sinking into her flesh and her body flinched instinctively but what came instead was gentle pressure. IT was being incredibly careful with her being so big and deadly. She felt the smaller set of front limbs trace over her swollen belly carefully hooking onto her belt loops and begin to tug. IT’s mandibles fluttered against her face in ITs version of a kiss which Leech returned as best she could drumming her fingers on ITs carapace. She felt the entire creature shudder and groan the noise muffled thankfully by the silk cocoon they were in. IT hovered over her predatory and hungry beginning to grow impatient with her pants tugging with more force.

“Let me get it before you tear them off Pen-” Leech began reaching to remove her jeans she was cut off by a terrifyingly loud hiss causing her to gasp and pull away. The scent of fear flooded the creatures senses the noise IT made could almost be described as a moan. IT lunged forward at her a pair of legs pinned her arms above her head working silk to tie them together. IT churred with arousal as it brought IT’s fangs back in close front legs tapping furiously causing the whole chamber to shake. With a harsh yank her pants were torn from her body and Leech opened her mouth to protest but was cut off when IT hoisted her into the air. “Pennywise! What are you- HEY!” Leech shouted at her mate who was already far too gone in IT’s own fantasies at this point. She was cut off again when her spider was now upside down and spinning sticky silk to fasten her to the ceiling. Leech blinked then smiled nervously “Bondage? Looks like I'm not the only one who's put some thought into this huh Pen?” she smirked and waved her ass in her restraints. The spider below her moved back above her body angling IT’s self into a comfortable position. Leech continued her bratty chatter until something large and slimy slid to rest on her backside. “Th-thats new.” She stuttered with large eyes the giant arachnid let out a laugh like chitter bringing its fangs back near her neck while it's small front limbs poked and rubbed her swollen breasts. She felt her spider's longer legs rubbing her belly as it rocked its abdomen back and forth grinding its alien member against her ass cheeks. Huge slimy globs of drool spilled over her shoulders and against her cheek each time IT turned its head to affectionately click and churr in her ear. The small vampire returned IT’s affection as best she could kissing and running her tongue over its fangs and mandibles in soft kitten licks. IT was being incredibly gentle for what it was, IT had to be, everything about IT was for death not love. She felt her spider's grip on her tighten a bit and she let out a hiss when its slick member rubbed against her folds lubricating her as much as IT could before beginning to press at her entrance. Leech cried out as the thing between her legs began to fill her it wasn't a tentacle and it was much bigger than she thought it'd be. IT began to drum its front legs on the wall as it growled and churred pushing its thick appendage into her until she couldn't take any more of it. The spider at her back went still, letting her adjust to IT as its member stretched her inner walls. She felt a spill of hot liquid on her back and felt her monster cooing in her ear checking on IT’s mate and tenderly rubbing its brood within her. “I-Im okay Pen.” She panted and the creature above her gave her a test pump, Leech moaned loud in response.

She could hear her mate making an insectile laughing noise above her clearly very pleased with itself before thrusting into her again beginning a slow rhythm. “OH myyYYy my g-gOD PEnny!” Leech shuddered out as she tried her best to fuck him back. She didn't know what to expect when she thought of trying this but at this point fucking IT was definitely something she planned on trying again. The spider at her back hissed and purred making its “love growl” to her as the bumps and ridges of its slick organ rubbed at her insides, careful not to disturb the clutch of eggs already growing within her. She felt IT grip her body tighter and something leaked from her tit as it pressed harder at her breasts. Involuntary cries of pleasure escaped her lips as IT rocked itself in and out of her dripping cunt. Her mate picked up the pace, mouthing the back of her neck gently and scraping ITs fangs into her skin just enough to prick it. She could feel IT’s venom in her fresh wounds giving her not pain but unexpected pleasure. Her skin feeling sensitive and tingly to the massive arachnid's touch on her breasts and swollen belly which IT still stroked with reverence. She was able to come out of her high just enough to hear the sounds her lover was making above her roaring and gurgling out some dead language as it fucked her pussy with less carefulness than before. Her ears pricked up when she heard a familiar word escape its mandibles. “LeeEecHiiE.” IT tried to purr her name over and over as hot liquid venom filled drool dripping off the back of her neck and shoulders. “Yes Pen fuck take me!” She growled out encouragement to IT knowing how much it loved praise “Take your little slut, don't hold back Pen please!” she heard IT roar in pleasure at that humping into her like it was a race. Leech came with a shuddering cry her mate still fucking her and pulling another from her body shortly after. Leech's long vampiric tongue lolled out of her mouth as her body took more of her monster's rutting and she barely registered it when her restraints were suddenly cut. IT flipped her around to her back setting her on the pillow it had made for her earlier before going back to chasing it's own release. She could feel its mandibles at her throat scraping her skin with more potent aphrodisiac venom. The amount of overstimulation she was receiving was reaching an uncomfortable level and the vampire began to beg for the massive spider's cum. IT roared loud once again drumming its front legs so hard IT shook the entire sewer. Suddenly it bit down on her shoulder and leech felt a gush of liquid fill her abused pussy followed by something solid and squishy filling her hole to the point of bursting. She came a final time as her mate released inside her milking what she knew now to be its ovipositor with her slick walls. IT pulled out violently and finished on her body ping pong ball sized eggs and cum bathing her as she shuddered and spasmed.

The vampire could only lay there in the sticky mess as leftover eggs leaked from her stretched hole and onto the web hammock she lay in. Moving wasn't an option at the moment no matter how weird or gross the situation was. She knew something was coming from her nipples but looking required too much energy. Her spider's mandibles fluttered gently over her skin first at her belly cooing at her young assuring that they were alright then against her cheek until fang were replaced by a giant's soft red lips. Pennywise in his giant form, began to lick her clean his tongue covering half her body. She could feel his large thumb gently rubbing her forehead and his lips pressing against her body every now and then with massive kisses.

“Holy shit Pen.” Leech finally panted out and her whole body vibrated with his giggle.

“Are you alright little one?” He purred as he shrunk down.

“Am I still alive?”

“Very much so darling. You did so well for me.” He cooed as he settled beside her pressing his hand on her belly as he purred against her ear. Leech found the strength to turn and press her lips to his smiling into the kiss. “I fucking love you.” She giggled and bumped her head against his.

“And I you sweet thing.”

After a long quiet moment Leech finally decided to look down and assess herself and yelped when she saw her tits covered in red human blood. “OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK? WHY IS IT RED?!?!! THAT IS NOT MILK!” Pennywise seemed a bit startled by the sudden shouting and bolted up in surprise sniffing her and groaning at the false alarm.

“You are fine Peachy.”

“MY TITS ARE BLEEDING A COLOR THEY DON'T NORMALLY BLEED!”

“You need to feed our young somehow dear.”

“So I'm stockpiling blood instead of milk?!”

Penny growled and placed a hand over his growing young. “Everything is alright.”

“This whole pregnancy is terrifying I hope you know that.”

“I'm very aware.” The clown rolled his eyes and changed the subject tapping gently on her rounded stomach. “They will be vulnerable their first month this place will be soft and safe.”

“How do you know” leech turned to him finally calmed down. Pennywise grinned smugly at her and tapped his bulbous forehead.

“Instinct”

“Something I lack. Its gonna be hard for me to take care of them I'm not...the most maternal person. I hope you know that.” Leech sighed her hand joining her mate's over their babies.

“Peachy pie.” He purred and rubbed his cheekbone into her “We will learn together.” Leech laughed at the thought.

“I can't wait to see you of all people try to interact with a baby in a way that doesn't end in eating it.”

“I'm sure you will get endless amusement.” The clown rolled his eyes.

The vampire beamed and kissed her monster's cheek nuzzling him obnoxiously. “I sure will!”

Her clown sighed in annoyance and turned into her “Rest my love. I will bring you something to eat.”

“AB blood type please!” She grinned and kissed the creature on the nose.

Pennywise huffed but a small smile tugged at his lips and he returned her affection before standing and leaving their nursery. “Sleep well darling.” He purred before disappearing into the darkness.

SO YEAH I WENT THERE. Wake up fandom shits gotten weirder and more depraved. I hope you all enjoyed my weird spider egg bukkake. Love you freaks!

[ocdhuacheng]

I see you posting a lot about mp100 and I honestly wanna check it out! But I just wanted to ask what about the show you like, it's kinda easier to get into things when I get it from a personal perspective. I'm also afraid of getting spoiled if i look it up lmao

god im about to kill i had a whole essay written out and tumblr ate it. anyways im happy that my lovepostingis making someone interested :DDD!! there are so many things that i loveabout mp100 I dont think I can put them all into words but ill try(and this is going to be somewhat long and incoherent probably, because Iwrite like a third grader)

First I think you probably know thegist? But just to be safe and since you said you didnt want to lookanything up online; non spoilery, kind of vague gist: it was written by ONE and isabout shigeo kageyama aka mob (aka my son,) who’s a 14 year old esper and isSUPER op but is also just pretty average-at-best/unnoticeable inbasically every other aspect of his life. And despite having a lotof psychic abitilities he wants to improve himself in other ways. Anyway, some reasons why i love this show:

1. the characters/character development: mob is actually my favorite character in any media ever (ultimate comfort character) and has a lot of really interesting character development. Hes cute and super relatable and just always tries his best in everything. (also hes over powered but hes an op character done RIGHT, not like bakugou or kirito who are op but super annoying about it)

All the other characters are lovable (i mean except for some villains but thats the point) and interesting and even side characters get some of their own character development thats more than in many other mainstream stories. The relationships between the characters is written very naturally and with alot of nuance. especially the relationship between mob and reigen, and between mob and ritsu. Anyway, ONE is amazing at character/relationship development.

2. animation/art style: THE best and most interesting animation I’ve ever seen inany anime ever. (side note: animation-wise I think my second favoriteis madoka magica) you can tell the animators put a lot of love andeffort into mob psycho. everything is so fluid and the animation isused very creatively. And body language is animated really well. I’msure youve seen gifs, but in addition to the traditional 2danimation, they have paint on glass (which is SO COOL), and a wholebunch of other different mediums/style changes which are used interestinglyor to make a different feeling and its really cool. 

also i like howthey kept ONE’s art style, albeit cleaned up (thoughthere is one scene in the end of season 1 that was animated by ONEhimself which was really cute!). like if you know ONE his artstyleisnt traditionally “pretty” or “good” and may drawanatomy stiffly or awkwardly, but he is amazing at expressingemotions and composition and drawing monsters/spirits and complicatedscenes. Like one punch man (ONE’s other work) wasadapted as an anime in a largely conventional anime style, and eventhough it was still great, it just wasnt nearly as interesting as mobpsycho. 

(Also in addition to watchingthe anime, I highly recommend reading the manga too!!) 

3. treatment of mentalillness/neurodivergence: mob is heavily autistic coded and its animportant part of the story. because it shows both the positive andnegative effects of being nd, but never narratively makes fun of mobfor being different. (i mean some characters make fun of him for that but thestory never does.) And mob is a well rounded character and learns and grows and many people look up to him and thats not somethingyou usually get with many purposefully autistic coded characters. itsreally nice to see.

4. its the funniest fuckingthing ever: ONE........ dare i say, . king of comedy? The humor inmp100 is so good, feels natural feels organic. also the tone changesare very weird, but i dont mean that in a bad way, just sometimes getready to be laughing one second and then in shock or on the verge oftears the next and so on.. its a ride. (I made the mistake ofwatching mob psycho for the first time the dayafter getting my wisdom teeth out and that was a DUMB thing to dobecause i was laughing so much and it hurt my face :p )

5. The soundtrack slaps:banger. thats all i have to say about that. with lots of jams andsads.

6. themessages/themes/writing: just know the writing is very good. There are many parts that can beinterpreted in different ways and many things that while you weremade to think of them one way early on in the manga, towards the endyou realize that you are actually supposed to see them in a differentway, its_good_writing.gif . 

And theentire message of the show is smart and deep and pretty sweet actually. Itsall about mob’s growth as a person and his relationships with otherpeople. Despite the fact that mob psycho can be dark and can get veryviolent and disturbing (especially if you read the manga or continueon to season 2), its a very feel-good and moving show, thematically. 

Also thereare so many ways mob psycho could have just been a usual, tropeyanime, but it avoids a lot of annoying tropes which is really refreshing to see. wont say anymore because spoilers

Anyway sorry that was long and poorly written, but I hope you watch/read it! and if you do id love to talk about it more because i quite literally cant shut up about it lmfao

[edelwary]

when you were first getting into art, what and how did you draw? (like did you just doodle ur masterpieces on pieces of paper and posted-notes or did you have a proper sketchbook) how did you find motivation? bc ive been trying to draw but I always get unmotivated and stop while still wanting to get better just by doing nothing.

REALLY LONG, LOTS OF ADVICES FOR ARTISTS : 

TL;DR ; skip to the HOW TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DRAW part bc i have a megaton of shit to say lol + The MOTIVATION part 

mmh… I’ll get into details with this one tbh bc it’s a long ass process ahah : 

I live by the sea ; when i was youung i used to draw TONS of boat, but like, dollhouse boats, you could see the insides and stuff ; i loved to add tiny details and stuff, and imbricate everything together !

around 8 or 9 yo, i went to the public library with school and discovered the wonderful world of mangas ! I basically… Copy pasted an entire Mermaid Melody tome x) 

For about 2 years i alternated between reading mangas and trying to copy them ! Then i just kept drawing in the margins of my schoolwork for about… 5 years ! I have a Fuck Ton of sketchbooks of that time, it was… The start. Lol. Never say it’s bad because it’s never bad, just not there yet !!

Around my 13 yo, i went every saturday, for two years, under a bookstore ; there was a cave, and drawing classes ; that teacher was mean and harsh and stuff, but like… Not really. He would take away my eraser for the class, force me to use pencil, to draw something else (bulky boys instead of magical girls). 

I’ve learned a lot, more in terms of How To LEARN to draw than to draw itself, but i still progressed a LOT !! 

Then i kept drawing by myself for a year and i really worked hard on it ; about hours a day, trying watercolors and stuff ; i have a real problem with colors in traditionnal art, but i’m much better with lines (i should scan some RAD stuff i made in the weekend, yall ive never done anything this good i stg i dont know why i always forget im so much better on paper) 

This gets us to my sweet 16 ; i have to year of advance, bc i got ‘’’promoted’’’ idk how to say it ; anyways, i entered my (current) animation school for the first year at 16; vERY IMPRESSIVE AND TERRIFYING. 

And i learned. A fuckmegaton. Of shit there. 

Now i’m going for my third year there and i can make photorealistic marmora blades and cyberkpunk decors if i want to and that’s rad, but here is

 HOW TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DRAW : 

I have one HYPER important advice, and i’m keeping it to heart since i’m like, 11 : Have. Sketchbooks. Please !!! It’s very important. Here’s why : 

You keep everything with you in one place. You have 1 sketchbook, it’s basically easy to take every where (a A5, or A4 are pretty easy to carry, i have like, 12 of those, and around 8 of A3) 

You keep track of what you’ve done. It’s super important, bc first you can cry of laughter at your old stuff bc its cute but not so good, and second, you can just be like ‘holy mama’ and see how much you’ve improved

It’s very important to be organized. I WORK in art, and trust me, if there’s something that i’ve learned this year through tears and missing files and bugs : Be. Impeccable. Now if it’s for fun, go a little loose, and just have a folder for art on your computer, and a sketchbook, no need to stress, but the better you try to keep a record of where is what, the better you’ll see whats wrong

Notebooks are friends !! You can draw, write, glue stuff, make notes, lists, everything !!! I have my life in those. It’s more important to me than any of my phones. 

Be proud of it. Like, not everything, duh ! But try to tell yourself than it’s like a RPG ; even if it’s only 2 xp here and there, one day you’ll beat level 40, and that’s super important : art is. Fuckin. Long.

I cant stress it enough. It’s soooo long !!! SO LONG !! it’s years. It’s like karate and fishing and ANYTHING. To be good at it, it takes time, but it WILL COME if you keep trying. There’s no secret passage. 

You’re gonna me it, believe in me who believes in you. 

Use. References. 

Coming from a little shit who’s got a really good visual memory, that can sound like bs, but i stg everything is always AT LEAST twice as good if you’ve used a visual support. 

I’m not saying COPY EVRYTHING (even though thats a good training) I’m saying, if you really want to do that asian tiger, please have at least two or three pictures of it nearby. Take photos of your hands, and stuff ! 

Make it harder. 

No eraser. 

Paint. 

I draw all my backgrounds on my sketchbook with INDIAN INK; no returns, no refunds. 

Ink, Ink, INK !! Don’t allow mistakes.

And if you make mistakes :

New page, restart

It’s okay

It’s for you

I once started back again a whole EXAM bc it was bad, i got one of my best grades 

You’ll improve and be more assured if you know you just have to DO IT. Trust me. It’s VISIBLE; if you can erase, you fidget and hesitate and ‘’kbeujebez hahhaaa idkkidsd’’ ; stop ; do it, and if you don’t like it ? Try again, there’s no time limit

Draw as large as you can 

There’s no interesting story here, it just helps. Bigger movement of the hand, more place for details, breathing lines

Thin lineart helps

Thinner. Make it even thinner

Break the rules, but not the ones that structure your art 

Big lineart ? Why not

Unfinished lines, vaporeous colors ? Pretty

Cubism is actually based on extensive and intense practice of classical art, it’s not wibbly wooblly ; the anatomy is more correct than you think 

Structure and composition are important, but so is movement and life ; choose your fighter ; mine is fluidity and fun, i’m like, a rogue/archer in drawing. Some people are dwarf fighter. That’s amazing and great. 

Don’t be afraid to do nothing

Pages and pages of my sketchbooks are actually just lance facing right and smiling, you know… 

Sometimes it just doesnt work : two ways :

Take a break, Kiki’s delivery service style

Keep trying, break your art until it obeys and comes back

Take breaks. Breath. 

Don’t compare. I do it, it doesn’t help at all. You’ll make it ; and if you compare, keep in mind that everyone’s different

I’m not gonna lie, it’s NOT easy, it’s even hard 

But I really, really think it’s worth it 

MOTIVATION :

My main bitch 

I’m always pumped for art because i can LITTERALLY NOT do anything else ; i love reading and writing and stuff but at the end of the day i just want !!! to draw !!!! aaaaaa-

Fall in love with it, and with the possibilities ; i have stories to tell, tell me yours ! Do your best, one day it WILL work

Actual advices : 

I have an inspiration blog where i just reblogs stuff i like to draw them later

Find a picture, copy it. Do it again. Change the characters (i have 2 ocs and Lance and Keith as default characters) in the pic. 

Like an artstyle ? Break it to its very core, analyse it, copy it, redo it, trace it and ABSORB it. Don’t copy/past, LEARN from your heroes.

Do what you like. I have 86578 pieces of voltron, this is not a coincidence. I have ENDLESS ideas for this show, wtf. 

Try new things. Buy indian ink im begging you. It’s so cool. 

Have a game with yourself, or a challenge. STICK TO IT. 

Study. When you’re bored, usually it’s because you’re stagnating. Make it harder or do hands until you cry. 

Love your backgrounds; make backgrounds, study trees, and tokyo streets, and venice’s bridges. Decor is just as cool as characters, if not more

Mess a little with everything. My roomate more than one found me stained from head to toes trying to DO STUFF 

Draw outfits. Draw what you want but can’t afford 

MAKE YOUR LIFE A COMIC. Remember those sketchbooks ? Make a comic a week/month/every full moon, whatever, and draw your life (mine’s the roomates au lol) 

Prompts blogs are cool too 

Make fanart of a fic you liked ; you have the characters and the pose already, you just have to illustrate ; double bonus, you probably will make a writer’s day, if not year !

That little movie that plays when you listen to your favorite song ? DRAW IT

Your favorite scene in your favorite movie ? Redraw each shot. On post it. Plus it looks awesome afterwards to have the infamous TREX scene of Jurassic Parks in post it

Get bored. That’s inevitable. Dance, scream, get back to it. Walk, draw everything you see. 

Make a paper google map street view : Take a walk : every 50 meters, draw what is in front of you. 

Snapchats your friends. Draw their snapchats when they answer 

Draw maps. Invent places. Invent bikes, and hovercrafts, and monsters. Make your everyday inventory. Make your life a video game, and do the concept arts of it. 

FETCH your inspiration. I have approx. 20 artbooks, full of drawings and concept arts of my fave movies/games ; take what you like and add it to the story you have since you’re 8. We all have one. 

Ask for it ; your sis, your mom, me even ! If you dont have ideas, someone will have them. 

WELL i’m gonna stop there, even though i got like, 9864567 more to say, but with this you should be fine ! Anon, i’m rooting for you ! we all start somewhere, just hold on!!!! 

[trendyelle]

What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a grown-up adult considers their body like a trashcan, then you distinguish the daily strife that is doing whatever the fuck you miss while also wanting to have a great torso and great scalp. Lifes hard when you want to get fucked up at Ministers Ball but too gaze 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not go to Gov Ball, though I did expend the weekend “re going through” mimosas like water and gobbling sufficient food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a brand-new me. A better me. A me who applies actual vitamins and minerals into her arrangement so her scalp doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she feed last darknes. So heres a roll of foods you should avoid like an ex-boyfriend sliding into your DMs and foods you are able to embrace because theyll fix your fucking heads. Damn, Ive get bars. DONT: Devour Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even ingests canned fleshes anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird preoccupation with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a red-faced fucking flag that this girl was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always boasting about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in them and generates your body to hold on to water, which is why your face is always puffy or you have pocketed under your eyes that can be seen from infinite, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and likewise be obnoxious on Instagram, chewing salmon is a sure method to get better searching skin. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty battery-acids and healthy paunches. These fatties strengthen cadre tissues and nourish the scalp to exclude you appearing fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol only because you often say shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre boozing to cleanse your form are actually genuinely fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as inferno, especially the dark-green juices which can have up to 50 grams of sugar in their own homes, which is actual destruction when it is necessary to having clear skin. ^ I dream every fitstagrammer when the find out they’ve been gushing liquid sugar into their synagogues bodies DO: Suck A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the red-hot trainer at your gym, protein smoothies can actually be beneficial for your surface. The more you are familiar with. Stay away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These the different types of smoothies are high in healthy paunches and wont leave your surface looking more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I envisioned coming. Nothing that savours this good can be anything but destruction on your body. And since Im not on my point rn in control of my torso I approximate Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which can anatomy this fun act called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your organization. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with the most are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy seeming. So mostly feeing ice cream is aging you.* stairs into oncoming commerce* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your scalp. So although it is feelings health and the whole day youll be bidding you two are devouring real chocolate with real flavor at least your surface will look good AF and protection against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick parody. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you too want me to commit homicide the next time person replies all to a department email series? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my brain around because coffee is literally one of the only reasonableness I get out of bed in the morning, and consequently, the reason you get to experience this gleaming temperament. That being said, coffee is a diuretic( bogus news Im sure !) which causes your form to lose liquid and your skin to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you want glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republicans plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though the prospect of booze hot lemon liquid know it sounds as tempting as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super good for you. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and returns some much needed support efforts to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies their own bodies and if youre full of poisons boozing on periods that discontinue in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have nice things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally victimized by such lists. Like, is person looking at my bank word and be careful to ensure that I invest a great amount of my down time in coffee shops and/ or bagel patronizes? Because Im feeling certainly assaulted rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your skin and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for dates.* prays this is imitation information* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id preferably starve than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the rate we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial-grade. Oats are the right various kinds of carbs probs because it looks miserable to eat and also because its high in antioxidants which weve launched will not only give you clear/ glowy surface but too opposes against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To utterly no ones stun except my own because I refuse to read descriptions written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my happiness, soda is bad for you. And only because you booze diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda specially interrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your gut. Likewise boozing any sort of soda are actually fuck with your scalp. Like, reason rosacea, eczema, and acne fuck with your surface. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Too, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant exactly suck vodka straight-out. I want to have clearer skin , not succumb. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that appears good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my surface. About damn day. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all your life troubles. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you miss clear scalp by the time this weekend’s brunch moves around then chug some of this and pretend like its alcohol something you experience drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you delight is likely fucking up your scalp and you should cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not oblige the index, but thats mainly because I refused to do any actual study that would testify otherwise. Who says you cant realize your own predestination? Listen, if all else miscarries and you have no self control dont want to relinquish your joy theres ever Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-12/