#its almost 16000 words long

[hushedhands]

Challenge 83

@cecilia02 @everbeenminee Astra watching Andrew's coronation.

Astra Orders set an alarm for three o’clock in the morning, but she didn't need it. She didn't sleep at all.

Her mom had invited her to watch the once-in-a-generation event with her little cousins in Illéa Palace, but Astra had refused. Kile had offered to stay the night and keep her company, but that hadn't felt right either. Her dad had suggested not watching at all, which was cute but not really a solution. It would be weeks before footage of this faded from the news, and even then there would be anniversary specials forever. Astra might as well bite the bullet and watch the coronation that had almost been hers.

She wished her parents and her boyfriend weren’t making such a fuss about this. History was full of women who'd almost married princes and then gone home to watch them become kings. Her Uncle Maxon had left dozens of such women in his wake when he’d chosen to marry Aunt Ames, though Astra didn't have the telephone numbers of any of them. She wished Andrew had enough ex-girlfriends to make a proper club like the former Selected. It might have been nice to have someone who could understand this indescribable feeling without the need for words to name it.

It wasn't that she wanted to be married to Andy. She had no doubt at all that she'd made the right decision in calling off their relationship, and that was totally separate from the fact that she was now wildly in love with Kile.

But there was something aching in her chest as she watched the aerial shots of the city of London on the little television in her apartment in Angeles, curled up in her warmest fuzzy pajamas, hair in a messy version of her ballet bun, hands clinging to her mug of tea for dear life. Today was the day that standing by Andrew's side for his coronation went from something she wouldn’t do to something she couldn't do. She'd chosen to walk away, but this was the day that the door locked behind her.

Never was a hard word to give to Andrew, even if Kile had her Always.

The camera above the crowd panned past the palace Astra had stayed in that summer, and her chest squeezed hard. Whatever else had happened there, it had been a refuge for her at a time in her life when she’d needed it most.

It all started when she had been offered an incredible opportunity to dance for the Waverly ballet company in the summer, and an opportunity to attend an elite seminar with London��s royal ballet company in the spring, and Kile, realizing that he and Astra wouldn’t see each other for over six months, had broken up with her very suddenly.

Well, technically it had been a mutual decision. She hadn’t seen him much during his first year at school, and now she was off on her own adventures, and it seemed like a terrible time to try to make a relationship work. What if he met someone amazing at university? What if she met someone in Waverly or London? Was it fair to deny themselves new relationships and experiences just because they’d always been together? Weren’t they technically together by default, anyway?

It was a reasonable question. If you married someone you’d had playdates with for as long as you could remember, and you never even tried to date someone else, it was probably a relationship by default… right?

As she got on the plane for London, it had hit her hard that she wouldn’t have a hope of seeing Kile again, maybe for an entire year. The earliest she’d be back in Angeles was the next fall, and that’s exactly when he’d be leaving to go back to school again. And this time they wouldn’t talk to each other on the telephone almost every single day, and she wouldn’t slip secret notes in the care packages his parents sent him from home, and he wouldn’t surprise her by sitting in the audience during a matinee performance after sneaking back into town without telling her...

And maybe he never would again.

It was possible she’d cried the whole flight overseas, it was hard to remember. She must have rehydrated somehow, or she’d have shriveled up and died of the heartbreak. That time was all a blur now.

But what Astra remembered clearly, sitting on her sofa four years later, was the way she’d felt walking into that little old palace on the north side of the city and realizing that it was essentially hers for the season. It really paid to have a paranoid king for an uncle sometimes, because Maxon had pulled a dozen favors with the English royal family to get Astra somewhere safe and comfortable to live for a few months. She was technically an Illéan princess by title, so he wouldn’t hear of letting her rent a crumby apartment somewhere in the city, and besides, wherever she stayed needed to have enough room for a security detail. Still, even for a small palace, it was a palace and it was hers.

The old place had plenty of full-time staff that kept it in good shape as an estate of historical significance to the English monarchy, but Astra herself didn’t have maids or butlers, or a chef to keep her fed. At night, everyone who worked to keep the palace maintained went home, so it was only her and the security detail.

But she was allowed to order takeout from restaurants around town, so on her very first night alone she ordered enough food to live off of for a while, until she could get to a grocery store. She sprawled on a sofa in the downstairs sitting room, doodling in the notebook her Aunt May had given her for her last birthday, until there was a surprise knock on the archway in the entrance of the sitting room.

“Hello.” Andrew stood there, still in his business suit from the day, though with no tie, and with the top button undone. He looked ruffled, and in his hands he carried a large bottle of red wine. “Sorry to barge in… there isn’t exactly a doorbell in this place, and without staff to handle arrivals and departures… well, I did knock.” he awkwardly concluded.

Astra, still in her tank top and stretchy pants from the plane, would have felt severely underdressed to received a prince at a palace, except this was one of her oldest and best friends, and some of the ache in her heart from leaving Kile on the other side of the world eased away just from looking at him. She hugged him, “You don’t need to knock. It’s good to see you.”

“And you.” he hugged her back. “Ah, and here. A housewarming gift.” he offered her the wine.

“You’re just in time for dinner.”

“Am I?”

“It should be here soon. The finest spicy noodles and sautéed vegetables in the land. Although, if there’s no doorbell…”

“The guard at the gate will take it from the delivery driver and have someone bring it in.” he grinned.

“Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go hunt down something to open that bottle.” she said.

A new city, a change of scenery, some delicious New Asian food, a bottle of old wine, a dear old friend… this was the recipe to get over a breakup. Astra knew it, because she already felt worlds better, just struggling to find a way into the wine bottle. There wasn’t a corkscrew in the kitchens that they could find, and this palace didn’t have its own wine cellar, which was the only other place they could think to find wine accessories. In the end, Andrew took an impressive, ancient sword off of a display rack on a wall at the top of the grand staircase and carefully poked the sharp end down until it was lodged into the cork.

Astra laughed so hard her sides hurt as she twisted the bottle out in front of her and Andrew slowly stepped backward. After a couple of tries, the cork loosened up enough that he could use brute force to pull the rest of it out.

When the food arrived, they carried it up to the top floor, to a balcony that overlooked the city, and they had a picnic of sorts.

“Where’s Lucas? You two are usually a package set.” Astra asked between bites of spicy noodles.

“Still finishing up his first year at university.”

“Oh, of course! Kile— “ She stopped abruptly, her chest squeezed tightly, her tongue fell heavy in her mouth, and she drowned the bitter taste of his name on her lips with expensive wine.

“Oh dear. That won’t do.” Andrew leant over and brushed away an errant tear from her cheek. “You mean to tell me… well, he’s safe isn’t he? He’s not unwell?”

“No, no he’s fine. He’s at school… and I’m here.”

Andrew studied her face carefully. He’d met Kile and Astra on the same day, at the same moment, so they’d been friends for exactly the same amount of time. He knew that they’d been together romantically for almost seven years now, the teenage equivalent of a sixty-year marriage. “So you’re… taking time apart?”

“We’ve decided to go our separate ways.” Astra said, the words soft and wispy in her throat. “We’re not… we’re not headed in the same direction anymore. We might never head in the same direction again. After university, he wants to see the world. And I… I might travel around for a while as a dancer, but I can’t imagine not being there for Addy once she becomes Queen… Even if that wasn’t true, we won’t have a good chance to be in the same city for at least a year… and a lot can happen in a year.”

Andrew took a large sip from his glass and then refilled hers.

“That’s really difficult, Astra… I’m so sorry. I know how much you love each other. It must be hell, knowing that you’re growing apart from the person you’re closest to in the world.”

Astra choked a sob in her wineglass and Andrew’s eyes widened, “God, I’m sorry! What a terrible thing to say—“ he sat both of their glasses safely aside and wrapped her in a warm hug.

Astra got his suit all wet from her tears, but she felt comfortable in his arms. “I’m not crying because of you, stupid.” She explained when she had the breath to do so. “It’s definitely because of him. I just… I didn’t think anyone would understand. But you do.”

“I don’t.” Andy rushed to correct her. “Not really. I’ve never experienced anything like that. The closest I can imagine is if… if I lost touch with someone in the Palace kid gang. You’re my best friends, apart from Luke, and I’ve known you forever. If I had to say goodbye to one of you, to lose you forever… it’s not even close to what you’re feeling, but just the thought hurts enough for me to know that you’re going through hell.”

Astra sniffled and collected her wineglass again, ready for more sips, content to allow herself to be comforted by her friend. “Hell has better wine than I expected, I’ll give it that much.”

“Not a bad view, either.” Andrew agreed with a small chuckle, looking out at the city.

“Didn’t expect one of my very best friends to come with me to hell.” Astra timidly admitted.

“And I’m not leaving until I get you out of it.” he’d promised.

Andrew always did have words as sweet as honey.

They drank the whole bottle that night, between the two of them. They had as good an excuse as two teenagers needed: they couldn’t find a wine stopper. Andrew offered to stay the night with her so that she wouldn’t be alone, but now that the world was blurry and warm from the wine, Astra felt delightfully sleepy. She was going to get her first good night’s sleep since losing Kile. So Andrew left, promising to bring breakfast the next morning to check on her.

He checked on her a lot.

He brought her breakfast and dinner every day, and he’d probably have brought her lunch too, except that she was always at her dance seminar during the daytime. Astra ended every night with her body pleasantly tired from dancing, a new half a bottle of wine in her stomach, and her mind full of whatever nice, easy conversation she’d had with Andrew just before bed. Her first week in England flew by.

That Friday night, Andrew appeared in the doorway to the sitting room right on schedule, two bottles of wine in hand.

“You’re mad.” Astra giggled.

“It’s the weekend.” he argued. “You don’t have to dance tomorrow, and I don’t have any public appearances to make until next Tuesday.”

“You’re off work until Tuesday? You English royals really know how to take it easy.” she laughed. She didn’t think her cousins had taken a three day weekend in their lives.

“We’ll keep the second bottle on standby, just in case we decide we want to try it.”

But of course, they were young and it was a Friday night, they definitely wanted to try it. Somewhere after the first glass of the second bottle, refilling glasses got too risky and they started drinking straight from the bottle, passing it back and forth. There was a television show on, showing a concert happening on the other side of the city in a stadium Astra could just see if she stood tall enough on the balcony.

Andrew watched her going almost en pointe to try to spy the stadium, mesmerized by her strength and balance and grace. “Can we dance?”

Astra smiled brightly. Dancing was her favorite in the world, of course they could dance! They danced in their socks to the music on the television until Andrew collapsed, out of breath, on the sofa. Astra joined him, blood pumping pleasantly fast through her veins.

“I’m out of shape!” he bemoaned.

“I’m a professional athlete, don’t compare yourself to me. You did just fine.”

“I did? Do you think I could join the ballet?” He laughed giddily.

She’d never seen him giddy like this.

Andy carried the weight of his country on his shoulders, he always had. Addy hadn’t really started bearing Illéa on her back until she was eleven or twelve, old enough to understand what was coming for her, but Andrew had always been a future king, even when he was tiny. Seeing him now, not a care in the world, laughing about joining the ballet… Astra’s heart twisted in her chest and for the first time since breaking up with Kile, it had absolutely nothing to do with him.

He had no part of this.

Astra leant forward and kissed Andrew on the warm, red cheek.

He looked at her, stunned, smile falling off his face. “What was that for?”

“I don’t know… just because. Just for you.”

“Just for me…” he’d mused.

“For being good to me. For taking care of me while I’m here. For… for being you. Yeah… just for you.” Astra nodded, this time more certain that the words made sense outside of her wine-fogged mind.

“I should be me more often.” he chuckled.

Astra blinked.

Should he?

***

There was a version of Astra’s stay in London where she pined away for her ex-boyfriend every moment she got, and maybe poured that pain into her dancing because it was overflowing from her heart and needed somewhere to go. That’s what she’d been expecting deep down. But what really happened was, she found a favorite market to buy groceries from, she found a bakery between her palace and the dance studio that kept her in much-needed carbs, she found a park with a pond where lots of locals liked to walk their dogs, which meant she got to pet a lot of dogs, and she started falling in love with the city.

And then there was Andrew.

He knew her so well, and they’d loved each other as friends for so long, and spending those mornings and nights with him felt so easy, so smooth.

And he was handsome and kind and… ugh, handsome. Astra didn’t regret kissing him on the cheek. Not even when he stood with her on the balcony a week later, watching the sunset, and she laced her hand with his.

“Are you quite alright?” he’d asked, not because she’d grabbed his hand, but just because he was still so worried about her.

“When I got here, I thought the answer to that question would be no forever.” Astra confessed. “And listen… I don’t really know who I am without Kile, he’s been a part of me for my whole life… but these past two weeks I’ve started to find out… and I like it. I like getting to know me.”

Andrew smiled down at her and squeezed her hand.

“And I like you too, Andrew.”

His smile became pained, “Astra—“

“It’s okay. You’re the next king and blah blah blah.” he laughed, because there were so few people in the world who could blah blah blah being an heir to a throne, but Astra was certainly one of them.

“It isn’t that.” he corrected her with a shake of his head. “It’s… you’re getting out of a serious relationship. You can’t like anyone yet—“

“Yes I can.” Astra scoffed, a challenging glint in her eyes, “Watch me.”

“But we’ve been friends our whole lives, too. Wouldn’t you like to like someone different? A stranger, maybe?”

“Where would I find one of those?” Astra lamented, only half-joking. Having a king for an uncle really limited one’s opportunities to meet strangers.

Andrew peered at her closely, then seemingly made up his mind all at once, saying, “Put on a dress.”

“What?”

“Put on a dress, I’ve got a surprise for you!”

Just like that, Andrew was downstairs talking to his security team and Astra was upstairs trying to figure out what dress to wear. There was a sweet springtime yellow thing… and then there was the red thing.

Astra made up her mind quickly. She chose the red thing. She chose everything that the red thing implied.

She appeared at the bottom of the stairs and Andrew’s eyes widened.

“Is this alright? I have other dresses—“

“S’perfect—“ he muttered and then cleared his throat, “Ahem, that is perfect Astra. Let us be off.”

He formally offered her his arm and she accepted with a proud smirk at the flush in his cheeks, then they ducked into his car and his driver whisked them off across town.

“What are we doing?” Astra asked after they took a turn to a part of town she’d never been to before.

“Did I not say it is a surprise?”

“Yes, but—“

“We’ve got guards, and I’ve gone to this place before. There’s no need to worry.”

“Andrew—“

“It’s where I go when I need to meet strangers.”

Astra blinked, dumbfounded.“You? Meet strangers?”

“How else am I supposed to find a queen? ” he muttered mutinously.

Astra stared over at him for a long moment, never having given it a second thought. Addy would be free to date whomever she chose, but if all else failed she could always have a Selection to find her husband. Andrew had nothing like that to choose from.

Astra was surprised when the car pulled to a stop at the backdoor to a nightclub. Could princes of England really go clubbing? But this place looked like it had tight security, and there were signs posted prominently that there were no cameras allowed on the premises. Andrew’s and Astra’s bodyguards stayed close by as they entered the club and Astra’s ears were assaulted by music so loud she could no longer hear it. All she could hear was the beat.

Andrew took her to the bar and bought her whatever drink she wanted, and then leant in close to her ear so that she could hear him say, “What do you think?”

“It’s a little loud!”

He chuckled, “About the strangers.”

“Oh!” Astra looked around as she spun the little umbrella from her pink drink between her fingers. There were all kinds of men here. Some older than her, some younger, some looked athletic and some looked bookish, and they were all having fun, losing themselves to the same beat. “What do you think?!” she yelled at him.

He looked around at the women in the room, sizing them up, and then shrugged, “Hard to say.”

“How do we meet them?!” Astra was yelling, while somehow he was able to keep his voice low and still be heard when he leaned close to her ear.

“Honestly? They usually just come up to me…” he confessed.

Astra rolled her eyes. Royals.

Sure enough, several women came up to Andrew and threw themselves at him while he and Astra waited for even one man to make a pass at her.

“Maybe you’re intimidating them away!” Astra suggested.

“Maybe so. Do you want me to go dance?”

Did she want him to go dance with one of the strange women in the club so that a strange man might come up to her and hit on her?

Not really, no. She wanted to dance with him. She liked dancing with him. More than that, she didn’t want to dance with anyone else. And she didn’t want him to dance with anyone else. She took his hand and dragged him out to the dance floor, their bodyguards hilariously close by, and they started moving.

It wasn’t dancing the way Astra was trained to think of it. There was no choreography, no gentle swell of melody to carry her movements, this was something far more basic than that. The best part was how quickly she was able to stop thinking about anything but her own breath, the sweat on her brow, and the man in front of her.

There was nothing else in the world. For as long as they could stay with the beat, there was only the beat. Endorphins that she associated with a long hard workout flooded her body, and Astra felt good. And beyond feeling good, she did not feel sad. She did not miss anybody. Not her family on the other side of the world, and not Kile. She was complete right here. All she had to do was make this last forever.

“I am not a professional dancer.” Andrew reminded her, breath coming far too fast to get that whole sentence out without gasping for air several times in the middle.

Astra giggled at him, then hugged him close, “This place is magical!” she yelled in his ear.

“Magical?”

And just to prove the point, and to express her gratitude, she pecked his lips with a kiss.

That was it, right? A kiss of gratitude?

As first kisses went, it was silly. They were both too out of breath to do more than mash their lips together for a second and then go back to gasping for air. Andrew led them away for water and after a few minutes to recover, he was ready to try again.

Astra helped him find a way to move to every other beat instead of every beat, essentially cutting the speed of his dancing in half for him. That helped tremendously. But to help him do this, she had to wrap her arms around his neck to guide him, and once he had the beat it was all much less frantic and much more sensual. This time when they kissed, it was not a silly peck on the lips.

Astra had only ever kissed Kile before, but since that was never happening again, she didn’t allow herself to think about that. She didn’t think about how Andrew was taller than Kile, and his cheeks were softer because he shaved every single morning without fail. She didn’t think about anything except how nice it was not to feel pain. When she was with Andrew, especially when she was kissing Andrew, she felt nothing but joy.

Was she using him to feel better?

If someone made you feel better and wanted to be around you, was that even using them?

They stayed at the club until Andrew was too tired to go on (and even Astra was ready to admit she was tired), and then they climbed back into Andrew’s car and rode off into the night.

Astra’s ears were ringing with the sudden silence, and they were both flushed and dripping with sweat. Astra was ready to bet her face matched the red of her dress and her hair, and was ready to feel embarrassed about that somewhere beneath her exhaustion, when Andrew slid his hand over to hers and squeezed.

She looked over at him and smiled.

It was past 2 in the morning when they got back to Astra’s palace, and Astra couldn’t believe they’d spent so many hours getting swept away like that.

“I’d do that every night if I thought my hearing could survive it.” Astra admitted as they struggled to get up the stairs, feeling distinctly like they had overcooked pasta for legs.

Astra took an ice-cold bath and then rolled her legs out to try to avert any soreness the next morning, and then she found Andrew in one of the guest bedrooms. “Thanks for the dancing… sorry we didn’t meet any strangers.” she grinned.

“I’m not.” he admitted, with complete candor.

“Well then, no future queen for you and no non-childhood friend to date for me.”

“Perhaps you could find a childhood enemy?” he suggested, and she laughed at the dryness of voice as he made the joke.

“Yes, I’ll have to make do.” she agreed.

***

The kisses felt stolen for the first week, like they were getting away with something they weren’t supposed to, but then one day Andrew showed up with Astra’s favorite breakfast, and two paper travel cups of tea, and he pecked her on the lips in greeting and it didn’t feel stolen at all. It felt as comfortable as an old sweater, and made her feel just as warm inside.

To celebrate the end of her first month in London, Astra ordered dinner for them from the same restaurant they’d eaten at on her very first night in town. He showed up looking frazzled after a long day of talking with members of parliament, but all the more pleased to see her because that stress was over now. And, of course, he brought her the same kind of wine they’d shared that first night.

Astra had bought a corkscrew weeks ago now, so they didn’t need to resort to using ancient swords to open their alcohol, which made it slightly less interesting. Astra curled up against him on the balcony overlooking the city and kissed him every chance she got.

“You’re certainly in a mood.” he noted with a smile down at her, after their fourth surprise kiss.

“I’m just glad to be here.”

“Are you?” he seemed surprised. She didn’t blame him. It was quite a turn from her first weepy night a month ago.

“Yes. I think London’s been good for me.”

And maybe she meant the city, with her new favorite local spots and the friends she was making at the seminar, but maybe she meant Andrew. Maybe she couldn’t really tell the difference, and it was all just good for her.

“I am very glad to hear that.”

“I wish I didn’t have to go to Waverly in two months.” Astra admitted. “It’s an amazing opportunity for my career, not to mention I’ll get to visit my grandparents in Carolina all the time, but… I like London.”

This time she was blatantly talking about him.

“Well… London’s not going anywhere anytime soon, I suppose.” he pointed out, fully onto her game.

She hmm-ed into her wineglass, “I suppose not.”

“And you’re always welcome in London, you know.”

Astra giggled and shook her head, surprising him with another kiss as a reward for playing along with her silly euphemism.

Later that night, when the food was stashed away in the kitchen and the wine was mostly empty, Andrew joined Astra again on the balcony as she stood there with the springtime breeze blowing through her loose, curly hair. He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

“I meant it, you know.” he said. “You could stay as long as you like. There’s a tremendous ballet company in London, perhaps you’ve heard of it.”

Astra laughed, pressing a hand to his over her stomach and turning to look up at him. “Maybe someday.”

“You’re dead-set on going to Waverly, then?”

“Well, I’ve signed a contract.” she explained.

“Ah. They shall imprison you if you break it. I understand.”

His voice was always so serious when he joked, never giving away the game. She laughed at the thought and said, “Yes, there’s a special prison for ballet dancers who break their contracts, it’s especially brutal. I hear they make you dance to jazz all day.”

This time his lips brushed the placed where her shoulders met her neck, and her breath hitched at the sensation. “I shan’t extradite you.” he concluded, his warm lips brushing her skin. “I shall keep you here, safe and sound, far away from the ballet constables.”

Astra laced her fingers with his over her stomach and said, “They’re relentless, the ballet constables. You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”

His lips trailed up her neck and stopped at her ear where he said softly, “I think I can manage.”

Astra’s entire body erupted in chills, and suddenly she didn’t want to continue their elaborate, jokey banter about the consequences of her actions. She turned in his arms and pressed her lips roughly to his, knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that all she really wanted was to lose herself in the taste and the feel and the smell of him. Andrew was the only person in the world who made her not care about the future, and when his lips were on her skin that was doubly true.

It wasn’t exactly real happiness she felt when she was lying in bed with him, his sandy brown hair all ruffled, his arm slung across her like he was afraid she’d disappear in the night. True, meaningful, lasting happiness was something that required a lot of factors: feeling good about the present and hopeful about the future, and at peace with the past. Astra wasn’t at peace with her past, and she didn’t even want to think about the future, but the present… the present was so good. It was one out of three. One out of three wasn’t bad.

***

If Andrew’s parents noticed that he was essentially living with Astra that spring, they didn’t say anything about it. Maybe they just assumed that, since they were close friends, he was keeping her company and enjoying a nice, extended visit. And that was perfectly true, except that they were sharing a bed and occasionally a shower, and they shared a cup of coffee in the morning and a bottle of wine at night.

They didn’t go back to that club, but they found other ways to go out together without being photographed. There were secret tables in the kitchens of restaurants, special royal boxes in theaters, private trains to private estates, and one time there was a royal yacht. Astra was surprised that Andy had so much freedom, as the heir to the throne. Addy couldn’t have dreamed of roaming around Illéa the way that Andrew was gallivanting across his future kingdom. Sure, part of it was Andrew making sure Astra was having the time of her life— he probably didn’t usually venture away from home so much— but even so.

“Will you be able to keep this up once you’re king?” she’d asked him as they sat curled up together on a train ride returning from the south. “All this rambling.” she explained at his questioning look.

“Ah. No, there will certainly be less. But my job will be nothing nearly so intense as King Maxon’s, if that is what you’re thinking. For one thing, I’ve got parliament.”

Astra wasn't exactly sure how England’s parliament worked. She knew King Eoan set the legislative agenda, but he couldn’t pass any kind of law on his own. “I can’t believe they let you have a whole train to yourself, and you barely have to work.” she teased.

His arm was wrapped around her shoulders, and his thumb began tracing her upper arm as he said, “If you think my future job’s a scandal, you should see what our queen has to do. Host parties, go shopping, appear at events…” his voice sounded as if it was a strain to remain light and carefree. As if his words were more important than he wanted them to be.

Astra leaned her head on his shoulder. Those were all things she already did for Illéa. Well, she didn’t host many parties, but she sometimes helped her Aunt Ames out when things were especially overwhelming. It was strange to think that she had experience doing the same job as the Queen of England.

“All that, and she gets to retire young?”

“Assuming that whole heir business is sorted out sufficiently early.” he admitted.

“Oh, that.” Astra giggled.

“On the whole, it’s not a terrible job.” he said.

“No, not when you factor in the jewelry.” Astra agreed, still joking.

“Precisely.” Andrew nodded with a small smile against the top of her head.

Astra wasn’t sure why he didn’t return her joke with one of his own.

***

Though Astra very much enjoyed being swept off her feet by the prince, it was the quiet nights at the palace that meant the most to her. Sometimes, after dinner and a long, hot bath, her joints would feel well enough to practice some choreography in one of the drawing rooms. Andrew would play the piano for her, putting years of lessons to use for the first time. Sometimes her joints would not feel well enough for more dancing after a long day at the seminar, and he’d rub her battered feet and ankles until she melted into a puddle at the other end of the sofa or bed, or wherever they happened to be.

She’d ask him about his work, but he wouldn’t tell her much. Maybe he was worried about protecting state secrets, or maybe he didn’t want to worry her. Maybe he didn’t want her to see him in less than a good mood, because he was only there to make her happy. And how could she not be happy?

One night, in the middle of her second month in England, as she laid awake in their bed and brushed her fingers through his unruly hair (a sight so few had ever seen: the Heir to England with unruly hair), she pressed a kiss to the shell of his ear and said softly, “What are we going to do when I have to leave for Waverly?”

Sleepily, he’d pried his eyes open, his eyelashes fluttering against her skin. “What would you like to do?”

“Freeze this moment in amber. Live in it forever.”

“Be young, in love, and carefree forever?” he’d smirked.

“In love?” she’d hesitated, surprised. They’d only been attached at the lips for six weeks now, as impossible as it seemed. Hadn’t they enjoyed half a lifetime together already?

“Oh dear.” He’d lifted his head up so that he could look in her eyes, “I shouldn’t have said that.”

Astra shook her head, “It’s okay. I do love you Andrew.”

“Do you?” he sounded amazed.

And she did. She’d always loved him, just as he’d always loved her. They’d grown up together, perfect friends, how could she not love him?

“I’m sorry you didn’t know that already.” she let her hand fall from his hair down his spine, coming to rest on his bare lower back. She traced the shape of a heart there with her finger and he shuddered. “You’re one of the best friends I’ll ever have, and I love you.”

He smiled and returned his cheek to her chest, listening for her heartbeat. “Yes. This moment would do just fine.”

“We could freeze this moment and allow archaeologists to discover it in a few thousand years.”

“And if we don’t like the future, we could simply freeze this moment again.” he agreed.

“You don’t think you’d be bored after a few thousand years?”

He grinned, one hand tracing her ribcage lazily, “I could find a few ways to keep myself occupied.”

***

Astra didn’t notice the first time there was a photographer waiting outside of the dance studio after her rehearsals. And then, a couple of days later, when a rumor sourced to a local food delivery driver was printed in a Sunday paper saying that he delivered Prince Andrew’s favorite kind of curry to the Palace where Astra was staying a couple of times per week. She didn’t mind when Andrew suggested they stop sneaking out to exclusive clubs or restaurants around the city, because staying in was extremely entertaining.

But it was hard to miss when Andrew nervously appeared in her doorway one evening and said, instead of ‘hello’ or ‘how was your day’, “Grandmother has asked to meet you.”

Astra gaped. Queen Cerridwen, King Eoan’s mother, had never met any of the Illéan royals in-person. Maybe she’d met Uncle Maxon back before he was King, when she was still the active queen, but maybe not even then. “Me? Wh…why?”

Andrew ran a hand through his hair and ruffled it in a way that would have been funny if he hadn’t look so stressed. He sank to his knees to sit next to Astra, who’d been sitting on the floor, using the coffee table to hold her nail polish bottles as she painted her toes. “The rumors got to her.”

“Rumors… about us?”

Andrew nodded, “I’ve had the press department squashing everything the second they hear about it, and it’s bought us some time, but the rumors have been consistent for long enough now—“

“The rumors that we’re spending time together?” Astra asked.

“Yes.” Andrew looked faintly nauseous.

Astra smiled and traced his cheekbone with her thumb soothingly, “We are spending time together. We’re not being falsely accused.”

“No, I know… I think, just… I think we need to talk.”

Those were heavy words.

Kile had been the last one to say those words to her, and the outcome had been really unpleasant.

“You didn’t bring wine?” Astra noticed for the first time.

“I wanted us to keep our heads clear.”

“Are you ending this?” Astra asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“No.” Andrew promised. “But we’ve never talked about what this is before. I’ve been able to buy us a little slice of time to ourselves, but I’ve reached the end of my tricks.”

Astra looked into his eyes carefully, noticing the strain there for the first time, “You never said you had to use tricks…”

“I didn’t want you to have to worry about it. I wanted to be… uncomplicated. Simple. After everything you’ve been through, I thought that you needed simplicity.”

“I did.” she admitted, chest suddenly aching at the thought that the simple times might be gone.

He brushed an errant curl behind her ear and smiled bracingly, “I am not here to tell you that the world is ending. Merely that people have found us out. They’re asking questions that I do not have the answers to, and in lieu of my answers, they are coming to their own conclusions. Grandmother amongst the rest.”

“She wants to meet me because she knows we’ve been dating?”

Andrew huffed a breath, “It’s her way of forcing the matter at hand. When it comes to me, to dating the English Heir, there is dating and there is Dating. Courting. Something official, not just between you and I, but between us and all of England.”

Astra looked a little creeped out at the thought, “They… want in on our dates?”

Andrew rubbed his brow, “In a manner of speaking… there comes a point when I’m meant to introduce anyone I am seeing to the people of England as a potential future queen.”

“Why? It’s not like they get to vote on who stays in your bed, or in our case, my bed.”

“No, but it’s…” he seemed so uncomfortable at having to explain this to her. Probably any English girl he dated would have seen this coming a mile away and known what to expect. Astra blushed a little, feeling inadequate for the first time all spring. “It’s a bit like a small Selection, perhaps. They get to know the person their prince is dating and they get to watch me court their future queen.”

“Oh, and your gramma wants you to do that with me?” What a relief to know she was just a confused old woman who’d misunderstood.

“Precisely. Meeting Grandmother at her estate in Scotland would signal the official start to our official courtship.”

Astra felt all the tension leave her body and she smirked at him, “Your gramma is proposing marriage to me on your behalf.”

“Basically.”

“What’s she in such a hurry for? We’re teenagers.”

Andrew let out an exasperated sigh, relieved now that he could see Astra wasn’t panicking and throwing everything she owned into a bag to haul back to Illéa on the first flight out the next morning. “I don’t know. You’re a good match, obviously. My father is close with your uncle, but it would be smart to solidify that alliance with some kind of marriage.”

“Very sexy and romantic.” Astra giggled.

“Isn’t it just?” he agreed wryly. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath, “I suppose she’s worried because I’ll be king in a few more years. She doesn’t want me to have to go through that enormous transition of responsibility by myself. I suppose finding a queen would be much harder as king than as prince, too. Father’s even asked me if I want to take a few months next year and devote myself to dating full time before he begins handing off responsibilities to me in earnest. As part of a formal ascension plan.”

“What a conversation.”

“You can’t begin to imagine.”

Astra collapsed into giggles, doing her best to imagine it anyway. King Eoan asking his son if he wanted to be a full-time, 40-hours-per-week dater as part of his obligations to the crown.

“It’s good you think this is funny.” he sulked, but he only partially meant it. He was genuinely glad she was laughing instead of crying.

Fairly certain her toes were dry now, Astra stood and screwed the caps on her polish, stashing the bottles in a drawer next to her vanity. She stretched, fingers reached for the ceiling, going up on her toes, and as she came down she whisked her loose t-shirt over her head.

“Astra.” Andrew cleared his throat, forcing his eyes away from her lacy, pale blue and white bra, “Clear heads, remember?”

“I’m just getting comfortable.” she said in a voice that clearly told him she was not just getting comfortable.

He stood and she came over and loosened his tie for him. He placed a hand over hers when she made for his shirt’s buttons and said, “Do you want this to last past April?”

Astra gulped, “I wish April was forever.”

He stared at her, the only flicker of doubt coming from the small twitch of his eyebrow. “That’s not the same thing.”

“… I know.”

“You don’t have to answer me tonight, but we should talk about it. If we keep going past April, I suspect it will make the most sense for you… for you to meet grandmother.”

This time, when Astra continued with his buttons, it was a genuine effort to help him get comfortable, and not a ploy to see his bare chest. Seeing his bare chest was an undeniable bonus, though. She linked her fingers with his and dragged him towards her bed, and then she flopped down on her back and stared up at the top of her four poster canopy. “So what would happen after I met your grandmother?”

“You’d get some secret service protection.” Andrew laid on his stomach and used his finger to draw doodles on the smooth, soft skin above her navel. His breath felt warm as it puffed against her ribs, but her skin erupted in goosebumps anyway, and he pressed a chaste kiss to them. He knew the effect he had on her, and it only made him want to cherish her more.

“I’d go back to Illéa, though. To Waverly.”

“Yes. We’d coordinate that. It would probably be a less hectic place for you than in England.”

“You think England will be hectic if you announce we’re officially dating?”

Andrew huffed one dry, humorless laugh. “When they find out I’m thinking of making you their princess… sweetheart, it’s going to be a nightmare of a circus.”

“Terrifying clowns?”

“The most terrifying.” he agreed.

Astra sighed, “Then what? How long would we get to date before they’d expect you to decide whether you want to marry me or not?”

“Given the time you’d be spending in Illéa, we could get a year.”

“A year.” Astra liked the sound of that. Sure, she’d dance until her contract was up in Waverly, but then she’d come back and get to do this with Andrew for months and months. His dad might even let him date her full-time. Morning, noon, and night cuddles.

“Yes, and then…”

“And then a fairytale proposal. Would it have to be public?”

“Gosh, no.” Andrew promised. “But it would need to have a good story behind it. Take you somewhere meaningful—“

“Like the club where we first kissed.” Astra teased, running her hands through his hair.

“No, not at all.” he chuckled.

“And would I get to wear one of the crown jewels or something?”

Andrew lifted his head to look at her. “Would you want one?”

Astra laughed. It was all so completely silly. She was an eighteen year old girl! A boy was offering her a crown jewel! She laughed some more.

“Our engagement would be six months, eight at most.” he said. “That’s going to be the hardest time for you. You won’t be royal yet, but you’ll have all the expectations. Of course, you’d have everything you’d need from us. Security, education, an allowance for your clothes.”

“Mmm, clothes.”

“And then—“

“A royal wedding?”

“Yes.”

“And a royal honeymoon?”

“Of course.” he pressed another kiss to her skin, this one not so chaste.

“And then I’m your princess?”

“Until we take our oaths to become king and queen.”

“You really think I could be queen?”

“You think you couldn’t?”

“I know how hard it is on my Aunt Ames. It’s not really the life I saw for myself.”

“It’s different in England, you know. We’re smaller than most Illéan provinces, and we’ve got parliament.”

She couldn’t continue to fantasize about marrying him without understanding what he meant when he said that. “Andy, how does parliament help you?”

“Eh… help is not the word.” Andrew admitted. “It’s more that they take certain responsibilities off the monarch’s plate. Whether they do so in a manner that helps is an entirely different question. But unlike Queen America, who assists on many matters of policy and diplomacy, my mother’s job is almost entirely ceremonial, supporting my father’s efforts.”

“So do you think I could dance if we were married?”

Andrew fell quiet, wracking his brain for a way. “Not once we were engaged… I just can’t imagine that you would have time. And you’d quickly become one of the most famous women in the world… not that you’re anonymous now, just that we’re talking about a whole different stratosphere of public interest… even if we found time for you to dance in the royal ballet, it might not be safe.”

Astra hated that answer, but it made perfect sense to her. Addy had never regularly commuted into the city for any reason. Keeping her safe during recurring, publicly open performances would have been a nightmare, and Astra supposed that would be true for her too.

Astra also knew she wasn’t going to dance forever. She probably had a good ten or twelve years before retirement, and that was only if she avoided any major injuries. In Astra’s experience, injuries and pregnancies were two of the most common reasons dancers retired younger than thirty and they were both to be avoided.

“How long do you think we could put all of this off? I don’t want to stop dancing.”

“I know. I want you to dance! You’re bloody magnificent when you dance.”

“Just when I dance?” she teased suggestively.

“Other times too.” he smirked up at her. He let his face fall gently on her stomach, breathing in the smell of her body wash and then lifting his head again, “I could tell Grandmother we’re not yet ready. You could go to Waverly and come back for visits now and again.”

“Sounds like I’d miss you.”

“I’d miss you too.”

“Sounds better to me, though.”

“I suppose it must. The people mightn’t be fooled, they’ll still expect something is happening between us.”

“They’d be right.”

“But Astra… No matter what, I’ll be King four years from now. There’s no delaying that. ”

“That’s a long time, Andy.”

“I can’t… you must understand, I’d need to know for certain by then.”

“Of course!”

“Ideally… Ideally I would be married by then so that we could share the coronation ceremony.”

“So we could have a wedding earlier that fall? You’d propose that spring? That gives us a few years. That gives me time to dance.”

“But would it be enough?”

“Three years is forever, Andy.” Astra grinned down at him.

“And you’d really consider being my queen?”

“I’d consider a lot of things for blue eyes like yours.”

“They are an important part of the benefits package.” he agreed, placing an arm on either side of her and bringing himself up so that they were eye to eye. “Along with lots of travel to exotic locations. The finest champagne money can buy. Famous designers tripping over themselves to clothe you. A handful of palaces. Lots of diamonds.” he punctuated each of these offers with a deep, heated kiss and by the end Astra was absolutely dizzy and in no state to negotiate her future job benefits.

***

By the end of the week it was not just one photographer waiting outside of the ballet studio anymore, there were dozens. They were aggressive and pushy, yelling her name and constantly demanding she tell them if she was seeing Andrew. Her Illéan security detail was not pleased. The theater that housed the ballet was difficult to secure against so many persistent intruders, and there was serious discussion about whether they could even let her finish the seminar. They also discussed calling King Maxon and asking him for reinforcements, which made Astra’s stomach feel sick. She didn’t want her uncle to have to pay money and spare resources to send across the world to her all because of her love life.

It was a tense day and a half before Andrew was able to come through with security of his own to supplement her detail. It had been a tough thing to organize, given she wasn’t officially his girlfriend, but he’d found a way for her.

If Astra knew anything in those days, it was that he would always find a way for her. That had never been the problem.

There were reporters outside of Astra’s palace now, night and day, and they marked each time Andrew came or went. Instead of lounging together on the balcony overlooking the city, Astra and Andrew had to draw the curtains closed for the sake of their privacy.

“We should just tell them we’re not really dating.” Astra said. “I can’t outright lie to them.” Andrew insisted. “I can’t break trust with my people. I don’t have to confirm we’re together, but I can’t just tell them we’re not.”

“There’s got to be a way… tell them we have no intention of courting right now. That’s not a lie, is it?”

“It’s a bit transparent.” Andrew pointed out.

“Well, I’d love to hear your better idea!”

Andrew sighed into her hair. They were dancing to the music on the television, its glow the only light in her bedroom. “Maybe we break up. And I tell them we broke up.”

“You’re breaking up with me?” Astra suddenly sounded so small and vulnerable, he squeezed her tighter, “No! Not really. Not in that way. It’s just a way we can… buy you some more time before we have to fess up to anything.”

Astra didn’t want to fake-break up with Andrew. She wanted the entire world to leave them to their peace and quiet in their little palace of domestic bliss forever. What was so complicated about that?

Andrew had the idea of staying away one night to try to relieve some of the heat, but all it did was leave Astra pacing the floor alone, listening to the rumble of dozens of people camped out on the street in front of her palace all night.

Astra and Andrew were summoned by Queen Waverly the next day and sat down together on the sofa in her office.

Everything about it was embarrassing. Andy’s mother needed to know how long they had been romantic, how far their romance had gone, how serious they were about their future together, and why Andrew had turned down his grandmother’s invitation.

“Lovey, she wasn’t trying to force your hand.” Waverly told Andrew sympathetically. “What’s happening now out there… it’s going to get worse, the longer we let the media spin itself up into a frenzy.”

Astra said, “I only have a week and a half left, your Majesty—“

“Astra.” Waverly reproached the use of her title. “We’re having this discussion as family. Call me Aunt Waverly… if you’re marrying my son, call me Mum.”

Astra gulped, looking at Andrew, lost.

“We’ve only been together a few months, we don’t know—“ Andrew spoke up, until Waverly nodded and held up her hand to silence him.

“I understand entirely.” She turned her head to the side to study a giant portrait of one of Andy’s female ancestors. “Listen you two, I know that this is a complicated situation. The only thing that will help is being forthright with the people.”

“If Astra meets grandmother, the people will be demanding a proposal by Christmas.”

“Perhaps so.”

“We’re not ready for that.” Andrew was keeping a lid on his princely composure, but Astra could tell he felt hopelessly trapped by his mother and the palace and his people beyond its walls. He was ready to rattle the cages.

Waverly nodded, “Your father and I will do everything we possibly can for you, you know that. We only want your happiness. But things are getting very intense, very fast out there. That’s happening because you’re choosing not to do things the conventional way. You must understand that.”

Very intense, very fast. That was Astra’s whole relationship with Andrew in a nutshell.

“It’s just a week and a half.” Astra reiterated. “Then I’ll be back in Illéa and the press can calm down for a while.”

“The speculation won’t stop until it is addressed by us, and it might even turn ugly.” Waverly warned. “When you stop giving them fresh photograph opportunities every day at your ballet house, when there aren’t rumors flying about sightings of the two of you all over London—“

“Not true, by the way.” Andrew said.

“Some of them could be.” Astra reminded him.

“Only the very old ones. We’ve not been out in a fortnight.”

Astra nodded.

“My point is, in a vacuum of real news, someone will invent rumors to splash on their tabloids. It will be anything and everything. Abuse, affairs, pregnancy out of wedlock, Astra will be a gold digger who broke Andy’s heart one week, the next week Andy will be a womanizing fiend who took advantage of a childhood friend. Relations between England and Illéa will be on the brink—“

“They won’t!” Astra objected.

“Only in the magazines.” Waverly replied. “But we wouldn't want any hostile nations thinking the rumors were true and attempting to take advantage of the supposed rift. You see how this could spiral?”

The room fell to silence for the first time. Astra shivered just a little, “I feel like I’ve been tossed into a tornado.”

“It gets better." Waverly promised. “Once you’re proactive about telling your own story, it gets harder for the media to frenzy over half-credible unattributed rumors.”

Astra buried her face in her hands. She’d thought she’d have years before she had to tell the media a story about her relationship with Andrew. It felt wrong that the people of England were forcing an eighteen year old girl to move so quickly.

“I just need time.” Astra said into her hands.

“Right.” Waverly made up her mind and stood, “In that case, Eoan and I are inviting you to stay here with us for the rest of your visit, Astra. We’ll tell the media that we’re very much looking forward to spending time with you before the end of your trip.”

“No, wait…” Astra looked up, heartbroken that she was losing her private little palace. Would she even get to go back and say goodbye to it?

“This isn’t a punishment, sweetheart.” Waverly sighed and then tugged Astra up to standing, pulling her into a tight hug. “You’re not in trouble. Not one little bit. You’ll have more privacy here, behind our gates and with all of our guards. You’ll have one of our cars to drive you to and from the ballet, and Andy won’t be caught coming and going at all hours of the night because he already lives here… or he did before you came to town.” she said the last part teasingly to her oldest son, who had the temerity to blush at his shamelessness.

Astra felt her eyes sting with tears, “I love that palace… it’s been a good home for me.”

Waverly smiled sweetly, “You’ll be welcome to stay there the next time you come back. If you and Andrew announce an engagement, we’ll fully staff the place for you so that it’s safer. Perhaps you and Andrew could use it as your home for the time between your marriage and his assumption of the crown.”

“Really?” Andrew looked enticed by the offer.

“You’ll need to live somewhere, dear. You couldn’t live with your parents as newlyweds, it would be unbearable.” Waverly teased. “England would never get an heir that way.”

Heirs.

Hearing the queen say that word in this palace, next to the crown prince made it feel very real and very scary. Did Astra want her kids to be heirs? She thought again of Addy and Jamesy… she loved them more than anything in the world, but she couldn’t imagine raising her children for such an incredible responsibility.

Waverly continued softly, “The main thing is, we need to be very delicate here, my loves. When Andrew becomes king, he will become the head of the church. Please understand, I do not mind what you the two of you do or don’t do, so long as you are safe and consenting.”

“Mother.” Andy squirmed.

“But it would put Andrew in a difficult position, becoming head of the church, if he was seen to have a… well a marriage-style relationship with a woman who was not his wife for too long.”

“Yes, heaven forbid I have a healthy, long-term girlfriend.” Andy scowled.

“It’s the vows to God that are the issue at hand, not heaven, and you know it.” Waverly scolded his sass quietly, but efficiently.

“So we break up.” Astra concluded. “We officially break up when I go back to Illéa, and then when it’s time, I come back to England and we publicly reunite… you don’t have any church issues, and I have time to dance.”

Waverly looked between them quietly. “It might be the only option, short of scheduling dinner with your grandmother.”

Andrew looked almost as sad as if the breakup was real. Maybe he was scared it would become real once Astra was out of the whirlwind. She laced her fingers with his and squeezed, “We’ll figure this out.”

He squeezed back twice, gently.

***

That night Astra slept in Andrew’s bedroom for the first time in their entire affair.

“The maids are gonna know.”

“Everyone knows.” he snorted into her hair. “That’s why we’re here and not across town in our own palace.”

“Your parents are in the building.” she complained when his hands began wandering her body.

“Not close enough to hear anything.”

“Still… what if they have to walk by for a glass of water or something?”

“You want me to keep my hands to myself tonight?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Oh, so shall we see who can be quietest?” he brushed his fingers across her ribs and she quietly shrieked a giggle. “You are so bad at this, darling.”

“Oh yeah?” she got her revenge with vicious tickles, exploiting every sensitive spot she’d found on his body the last few months.

***

Living in the English palace was an easy adjustment for Astra. She'd grown up in Illéa Palace which, as the functioning capital building of one of the largest nations in the world, was larger and had a much bigger staff. The English palace was certainly ancient and stately, but Astra had grown up visiting the place, so at least she wasn’t too dazzled to see this for what it was.

There was no more delivery from local restaurants once those palace gates were closed, but the royal chef made sure that Andy and Astra had everything they wanted delivered to one of their rooms each night, so that wasn’t actually too much of a change. Not only that, but the maids were discrete and only came onto their floor when Andrew was at work and Astra was at the ballet for the day, so it was almost like their bedrooms magically tidied themselves up each day.

Really, the biggest change for Astra had been weeks before, when rumors had started flying and she and Andrew had stopped venturing out into London. Andrew still appeared in her doorway just in time for dinner, looking handsome and happy to see her. They still shared good meals and long baths, and a warm bed each night. But now the illusion that time didn't exist and that they could continue peacefully, blissfully existing in their little bubble forever was burst.

Since the royal palace hadn't released a statement about the gorgeous young foreign princess living in the same palace as their handsome young future king, salacious headlines were beginning to trickle from tabloids to increasingly reputable news sources. Astra and Andrew's private affair wasn’t so private anymore.

Some part of Astra had been hoping that the rumors would die down once she and Andrew had retreated into the palace, even though she knew better. But on her second-to-final rehearsal before her big seminar performance, photographers started camping out overnight at the stage door to the ballet, not just hounding Astra but harassing her fellow dancers, too. It was humiliating to think that these world-class performers, some of whom Astra had idolized for years, were getting manhandled on their way to and from work every day because of Astra’s love life. She wasn’t sure her reputation in the industry would ever recover from this. Who would want to work with her when her very presence could cause such a disruption?

She cried in the backseat of the car on her way back to the royal palace that day, but she had big sunglasses on, and at least no photographers caught her moment of weakness.

“I don’t want to be the girl who’s dating the future king. I want to be a damn good dancer.” Astra said that night, her cheek pressed to Andrew’s chest as he drew swirling designs on her bare back with his fingers.

“You are both.”

“You don’t understand… you literally can’t.”

“What?” Andrew wasn’t insulted, which was the great thing about him. He was always humble about his own limitations. “Why can I not understand?”

“Have you ever looked up to someone who was truly excellent at the very thing that you wanted to be truly excellent at?”

“Of course.”

“Who?”

“King Maxon.”

Astra rolled her eyes and lifted her head so he could see her at it. “You met him when you could still count your age on one hand.”

“So?”

“So most people never get to meet their idols, and if they do it’s because they’ve worked extremely hard to become very good at something. There are choreographers and dancers at this seminar that I’ve admired for a decade. And now my presence is turning their workplace, a place I consider to be sacred, into a hostile circus.”

Andrew frowned down at her and said softly, “Did I not promise you terrifying clowns?”

“I don’t want to bring chaos to every stage I cross.” Astra pouted.

Andrew nodded and said, “So we should announce our breakup immediately. I’ll release a statement tomorrow, and ask a friend of mine to appear in public with me tomorrow night… a woman. It won’t cure everything overnight, but it would surely alleviate some of the pressure.”

Astra stared into his eyes, then studied the line of his nose, the cut of his cheekbones, the curve of his jaw. “That’s a lot of trouble to go through just for me.”

“Astra, are you joking? You’re the one going through trouble for me.”

Astra nodded, but she dropped a kiss onto his lips anyway. “Okay, but the breakup is fake.” her lips danced over his.

His teeth gently teased her lower lip as he replied, “Yeah. I noticed.”

***

As warm and inviting as the arms holding her were, Astra had a difficult time staying asleep that night. She was nervous about returning to rehearsals the next morning, nervous about their final performance, now only a couple of days away, nervous about her new relationship with Andrew, and nervous about being nervous about her new relationship with Andrew.

At around four in the morning she slipped out of bed and tiptoed back to her suite, where she found a pitcher of water and a tray of snacks waiting for her. She spent so many hours of her day exercising that sometimes she woke up in the middle of the night ravenously, painfully hungry, so she’d requested that she be left some snacks just in case. She picked at a scone, lost in her anxieties, and her stress about not being able to sleep, until the telephone next to her bed rang so loudly and shrilly that it caused her to jump and splash some of her glass of water onto her night shirt.

“Hello?” Astra picked up the phone, hoping to hear an Illéan voice on the other end of the line. She hadn’t spoken to Addy in a few days, and it had been almost a week since her Aunt Ames or Uncle Maxon had phoned. She hadn’t spoken to her parents in longer than that, but they’d be arriving in London in less that twenty-four hours so that they could watch her final performance, so she wasn’t too desperate to speak to them.

And while the voice on the other line was Illéan, it definitely wasn’t one she had been expecting.

“Hey.”

Astra’s stomach clenched and her body flooded with adrenaline. She reminded herself to behave like a normal person and not like a lunatic when, as casually as she could, she replied, “Kile? Is that you?” like she didn’t know. Like she wouldn’t know his voice anywhere, anytime, under any circumstance. She knew his voice better than she knew her own.

“Sorry, I know it’s the middle of the night over there. …You don’t sound like you were sleeping, though.”

He would know.

Astra gulped hard, “I needed a snack.” It was a lie, but it was close enough to the truth.

“Hm. Is he there then?”

Astra felt defensive anger flare up in her chest, and only later realized that the anger was covering a sense of guilt. “So what if he is? You broke up with me—“

“Astra—“

“No, it’s okay. I’m not saying that in a mean way. I’m stating a fact. We are not together because you broke up with me, so why do you care if he’s here?”

There was a long pause and then a low groan on the other end of the phone. Astra heard a brush of fabric over his microphone, as if he’d been rubbing his face and his sleeve caught on the receiver.

“I want to know if he’s there, because I want to talk to you when you’re alone. It’s why I’m calling so late… or early, I guess.” Kile said.

Astra’s traitor heart beat faster. What did he want to talk to her about when she was alone? Was he going to apologize? Was he going to ask for her back?

It was too late, obviously. Astra had obviously moved on. Obviously. “He’s not here.”

Kile sounded relieved when he said, “Good.” and that annoyed Astra. He had no right to be relieved that she wasn’t in bed with another man. He’d hurt her in a way she’d never known she could hurt before.

She lashed out, “I didn’t want to wake him up with my snacking. But he’ll probably notice I’m gone soon, so you should hurry up and say what you want to say.”

The pained sound that snuck out of his throat with his next exhale was not as satisfying as Astra had hoped it would be. She regretted her words already. Maybe now he wouldn’t ask for her back… not that she wanted him to.

Kile said, “Let me ask you something…”

This was it. He was going to ask for forgiveness. He was going to ask her to come back to Illéa and be with him.

“What do you want more than anything in the world?” Kile said.

What was he expecting her to say? That she wanted him? She was dating the Crown Prince of England!

“Astra?”

“What do you mean, Kile?”

“What do you mean, what do I mean? For our whole lives you’ve always wanted one thing more than anything in the world. What is it?”

Oh. Astra replied almost mechanically, her voice barely above a mumble, “I want to be the Prima Ballerina for the Angeles Ballet for at least a season, maybe two.”

“And you wanted that enough that you didn’t even think about moving closer to my university, because it would have taken you away from the Angeles ballet. And not for a good reason, like that invitation you got to dance in Waverly. For no reason. For me.”

“You’re not no reason—“

“No, I’m just not a good enough reason.”

“Kile—“

“You can’t argue with that.”

“You said you wouldn’t promise to look for apprenticeships and internships in the cities where I was dancing. You said you don’t want to live in Angeles when you grow up!”

“I don’t. I’m going to go where I can do my best work.” he said plainly. “I still think you and I made a good choice to split up.”

Hearing him say that was hard. She wanted him to regret it. She wanted him to miss her like she had missed him before Andrew had swept her off her feet. Losing him had changed her and she would never be the same as she was before, and he wasn’t even sorry.

Kile continued, “I’m just saying… what was the point of drawing a line in the sand about you and me if you were just going to walk all over it for Andy?”

“What?”

“We both know that you’ll never be prima anything if you marry Andy. You told me yourself, every waking hour of a prima’s life is devoted to dancing or preparing to dance. There are no hobbies, no vacations, no date nights. There definitely isn't time to be somebody’s princess.”

“I’m already an Illéan Prin—“

“Cut the shit, Astra, you know what I mean.” Kile sounded exasperated, and she knew why. She was trying to miss his point, but he wasn’t exactly being subtle about it so dodging it was proving impossible.

“Maybe I want something else now. Maybe I want to marry Andrew.”

“Look… Andy’s not a bad guy—“ Kile admitted through gritted teeth, “But there will be plenty of not bad guys waiting for you after you retire. So if you pick him, do it because you want the life he’ll give you more than the life you can earn for yourself. And be ready to bury your dreams of being a prima ballerina forever, if you do. I know you, and I know you’re getting swept up in this—“

“Don’t talk about me like I’m some helpless little… little damsel, Kile.” Astra snapped.

“Think about it logistically. Do you want to move to the other side of the world from your parents and your little brothers? They’ll visit you as often as they can, but your visits to Illéa will always be to the Palace, to King Maxon and Addy. You won’t be able to go home again. Do you want to have to keep a royal schedule, planned months and years in advance? And you can forget being around from Addy once she becomes queen, you’ll be trapped on the far side of an ocean.”

“Kile—“ Astra tried to interrupt him because she wanted him to stop making sense.

“What about the little things? What about the weather? You’re an Angeles girl, are you going to miss the sun? You know they use different numbers for temperature over there, right? How’s it going to feel to wake up in the morning and have some maid tell you that it’s twenty-five degrees outside, so you’d better stay in the shade to keep cool?”

“Kile.” Astra laughed.

“I’m serious. You’re not just choosing a career here, Astra, you’re choosing a life: from the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep.” Kile paused and let out a tired sigh. “I just don’t want you to make a big mistake that you can’t undo. I know how badly you want to dance. You’re not ready for this, and even if you were, this wouldn’t be the right choice for you.”

“I’ve changed, Kile.” she wanted to add that he’d changed her. That losing him had made her someone new, someone she didn’t even know yet, but she kept that part to herself. Listening to his voice for so long that night… suddenly she found that she didn’t want to hurt him anymore.

“It’s barely been three months, Astra. You haven’t changed that much.” he promised.

Astra wasn’t sure. Sometimes change was gradual, sure, but sometimes change was all at once. Traumatic change was a sudden shattering of what came before, such that one could never go back again. That was what losing Kile had been like.

But did that mean she wanted to give up dancing and become Andrew’s princess? His queen? His wife and the mother of his heirs? Did she want to leave Illéa forever and eventually move into this palace?

She wanted all of that when she was wrapped up in Andrew’s arms.

But here, alone in the middle of the night when she had her wits about her…

She climbed back into bed and woke Andrew up with steady, gentle kisses. Everything about the love they made that morning was slow and desperate, and even though she hadn’t meant it to, in the end it felt like goodbye.

***

Astra was gone to her final rehearsals before dawn, but later that morning Andrew was true to his word and made a big announcement that he and Astra had both been secretly dating, and were now publicly broken up. He made a good show of wandering around London looking sad that day, and that night he went out to dinner with a fashion model friend, who did not mind the publicity one little bit.

There were still plenty of photographers salivating at the chance to photograph Astra looking dismal at having lost the chance to become an English princess, but at least they were leaving the rest of the dancers, and everyone else associated with the ballet, in peace.

Astra’s parents arrived at the royal palace in time for dinner that night, and Astra had a lot of explaining to do to them. King Eoan and Queen Waverly seemed to find Astra’s discomfort at explaining her affair with Andrew to her parents over roasted asparagus incredibly amusing, and possibly reminiscent of the beginning of their own relationship. It wasn’t fair, though. Andrew missed all the “fun”, making sure it looked like he was rebounding with that gorgeous model.

That night, Astra was too nervous about her impending final performance to wait up for Andrew to get back to the Palace. She could go to bed early or never at all. She drank some tea laced with a little bit of melatonin and fell asleep soon after dinner.

She woke up in Andrew’s arms, her cheek pressed to the side of his bare chest. She listened to him breathe deeply and evenly for a little while and tried one last time.

She could quit dancing.

She could leave Illéa forever.

She could raise her children to be heirs.

Her children could raise their children to be heirs.

When she died, her bones could be interred in a big old church.

Her whole life could be that easy.

God, it would be so easy.

“Andy?” she whispered.

He didn’t stir.

“Andrew?” she tried again, this time pulling away from him and sitting up in bed.

He didn’t hear her, but he reacted to the loss of her warmth, and eventually his heavy eyelids fluttered open. “Astra?”

“What time did you get in last night?”

“This morning.” He admitted, yawning widely. “I expect the tabloids will be plastered with headlines about their debaucherous future king today.”

“Was it any fun?”

“Yeah. Ellie’s great; she’s always happy to be photographed on my arm. Missed you, though.” he added, as if suddenly awake enough to worry that she was jealous.

She wasn’t the slightest bit jealous. Well, the slightest bit, but not for the reasons he would assume. Astra was jealous because Ellie could keep being photographed on Andrew’s arm for as long as she pleased, with no consequences.

“Maybe you should marry Ellie.” Astra suggested.

Andrew laughed, and it turned into a yawn. Then he explained, “Ellie’s too focused on her career right now. And anyway, she’d be far more interested in you.”

“Now that would be a tabloid headline.” Astra joked weakly.

“What’s the matter? Are you nervous for your performance? Is it because you’re leaving England this time tomorrow? Is it because you told your parents what’s been happening between us—“

“I’m not nervous.” Astra said, even though her stomach was in knots. Those weren’t nerves. That was grief. “Andy… I want to be a ballet dancer.”

Andrew sat up in bed now and rubbed the sleep from his eyes so he could focus on her. The words were familiar, but her tone was alarming. “Of course you do. You are a ballet dancer, and you’re bloody brilliant.”

“I want to be a prima ballerina.”

“Okay.”

“That sort of excellence takes years to achieve.”

“Good job you’ve been dancing since you were four years old, then.”

“Shh.” she pressed a finger to his lips so that he would stop talking back and listen to her. He complied. “I won’t be ready to be a prima for seven or eight years. I have a lot to learn. And when I’m ready, I want to be a Prima Ballerina for at least one season, maybe two. That’s every waking hour devoted to dance for two years straight. Then I want to live in Angeles and stay close to Addy in the first few years of her reign. I want to be there when she gets married and has babies, because she is great at putting on a brave face and absolutely terrible at processing the emotions that are scaring her into needing to be brave. She’s going to need me, and I’m excited to be there for her. I can’t live on a different continent than my dad. There can’t such a huge time difference between me and my mom. I can’t be a foreign queen. I don’t want to be foreign at all. Andrew… I can’t marry you.” Her cheeks were wet and her voice cracked, but she didn’t know when, in that little breathless tirade, she’d started crying.

Andrew stared blankly ahead, hugging his knees to his chest around their blanket. He didn’t look surprised. He’d known she was too good to be true all along. Finding his queen could never have been so easy, so perfect. He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up.

“Andy, none of those reasons I gave have anything to do with you. I love you. You’re a good man, and a great partner, and you have no business being such a talented kisser when you’re so handsome. It’s overkill.” she waited for him to smile. She waited for him to do anything. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Andrew. I just can’t marry you. I’m eighteen years old, I just got control of my life. I’m not ready to sign it over to a monarchy. I would love to be your wife, Andy, but I would hate to be your queen.”

Andrew blinked hard, then looked over at her. His voice was too casual, his words were too easy when he said, “I understand entirely. I can wait.”

Astra furrowed her brow, trying to hold his far off gaze. “Wait? What do you mean, wait?”

“You want to be a prima ballerina, and you said it would take you nine or ten years to accomplish your goal. Fine. I will wait, and when you’re ready I’ll ask to marry you.”

“No, Andy—“

“I don’t mind ruling on my own for a while.”

“That’s more than a while! You’ll be king in four years—“

“It isn’t a problem.” he insisted.

“Did you hear the part about what I want to do after I retire? About living in Illéa, about staying close to my family?”

“Astra, once we’re married, you can do whatever you like.”

“But queens have responsibilities.”

“We can redefine the role to mean whatever you’d like it to mean. I don’t care. I love you, Astra, and you’re the best future queen I could ever hope for.”

Astra paused, blinking hard against the tears in her eyes. It hurt to hear him say that. It hurt to realize that he didn’t believe he deserved any better. “Andy, that’s not true. You deserve a wife who will stay by your side. You deserve a wife who adores you and would be willing to sacrifice her own ambitions to serve England. I’m not good enough to be your queen.”

“Then no one ever will be.”

“Andrew—“

“Let me wait for you, Astra, please.” His voice broke on that last work, his eyes finally meeting hers and betraying his anguish. “Let me hope. It’s all that I have left.”

Astra couldn’t figure out what would be crueler, to let him hope when she’d made up her mind, or to take that hopeless hope away from him.

So she wrapped him up in her arms and they laid down. She combed her fingers through his hair and he brushed his thumb against her ribs until her alarm clock rang and her last day in London began.

***

In retrospect, Astra should have chosen a happy, upbeat, peppy song for her exhibition. She could have flounced all over the stage and spun a ridiculous number of times on her toes, and allowed her partner to toss her all over the place with an enormous smile on her face.

Instead, she’d chosen an exhibition from a ballet about a woman mourning her dead lover, dancing with his ghost. She’d been thinking of Kile when she’d chosen it, hoping it would help her work out her feelings about their doomed childhood romance. Now she was about to take the stage of the royal ballet, with Andrew and his parents in the royal box, watching her close enough that she could see the pained look on Andrew’s face as clear as anything.

Astra and her dance partner, Geoffrey, took their place while the stage was lit in nothing but the darkest of blue lights. He laid down across on their only set piece, an enormous fake rock, and Astra settled over him in a dramatic pose of despair, arm flung over her forehead.

The first part of the dance was hers alone. Her grief, her agony, her desperation. None of it was fake. When Geoffrey arose, as a ghost, and began dancing with her, the bittersweet mixture of joy and sorrow was easy to tap into. Nothing brought her more joy than dancing, and nothing brought her more sorrow in that moment than Andrew watching her live the life she’d chosen over him.

When Geoffrey faded back into the fog upstage and left Astra alone again in the center of the stage, all the passion and desperation fled with him. The rest of the dance was small and slow, painfully precise movements timed with the orchestra just so that if she made the slightest misstep, it would be immediately, embarrassingly obvious.

But Astra did not have to fake the exhaustion and resignation her character was feeling. If she allowed herself to second guess her decision to break away from Andrew now, she’d second guess it forever. The roar of the audience as the last tremulous notes from the string section died away seemed to make a deafening contrast.

Astra was surprised to find tears had started pouring down her cheeks somewhere during that performance. Geoffrey returned and took her hand, and they bowed. As was customary for this exhibition, several members of the audience threw flowers onto the stage. From the third row, Astra’s dad threw a whole bouquet, and a little teddy bear. Astra laughed as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. Then she turned to the royal box to curtsey, perfectly observing royal protocol, and was startled to find that Andrew had been crying, too.

He tossed her a single white rose with a beautiful red satin ribbon tied around the stem, but the look on his face was resignation. He could love her with all of his heart for all of his life and still never be able to give her the kind of affirmation she got from a packed theater full of an adoring audience. He’d seen her dance dozens of times in her room at her little palace, and hell, he’d even danced with her himself. But seeing her like this in front of them…

He could wait until the oceans ran dry and the mountains fell flat, and every single star in the sky flickered into darkness… Astra was never coming back to him.

Astra spent that night with her parents, letting them gush over her and spoil her with presents, and help her pack up the life she’d made in London for the last few months. She hoped Andrew would come and say goodbye once her parents went back to the suite they were staying in, but he never appeared, and Astra didn’t chase him down because she thought he deserved to set the terms. That dance had been her goodbye to him. It was up to him whether he wanted to say goodbye in return.

The next morning, Queen Waverly was the only one in the entrance hall waiting to see the Orders family off as they left. The English Royal jet would take them as far as Carolina, where they would visit James’ family for a little while.

Astra imagined Andrew’s private car speeding out onto the tarmac to stop them. She imagined him dashing from the backseat and waving his arms to alert the pilots that they couldn’t leave until he’d said his farewells.

He didn’t come. It was easier this way.

Kenna and James stayed with Astra’s grandparents for a few days, but James had to go back to work and Kenna needed to get back to the Palace. Aunt Ames had five children, two of them under the age of six, and though they had plenty of help in that Palace, Kenna was their primary nanny, their aunt, and she missed them like crazy.

Astra stayed with her grandparents for a couple of weeks, until her contract at the Waverly Ballet began. The media frenzy around her got much better in that time, though it was impossible not to notice that things were staying hectic around Andrew as the English tabloids seemed to catch on to how severely he’d had his heart broken.

Astra wished she could take some of that public shame away.

She wished she could take some of his pain away, even as she was mending her own broken heart. Her weeks in Carolina were good for that purpose. Her grandparents spoiled her rotten, and she gave her body a much-needed break from dancing. Instead, she spent her days learning needlepoint from her grandmother, and her nights stargazing out by the pond where her parents used to sneak off on dates before Gramma Magda gave up trying to convince Kenna to marry someone from a higher caste.

When Astra packed her bags to take the short flight up to Waverly to begin yet another new life with another new ballet company, she was still wearing the beautiful red ribbon that Andrew gave her as a parting gift on that rose, tied around her wrist.

And when, years later, she sat on her sofa and watched him become King of England in front of the entire world, her fingers traced that now slightly frayed red ribbon, Andy’s last gift to her, in a familiar, much-practiced gesture.

It would have been so easy to say yes, to give in to the pressure and let herself get swept away by the English people, the royal traditions, the prince’s staggering blue eyes. It would have been a good life, too. A perfectly fine marriage.

But Astra didn’t want to be queen, and now she wouldn’t have to be, and the freedom she felt watching Andrew bear the weight of that crown was all the reminder she needed: she made the right decision. And now, despite the dull ache of longing in her chest for he boy she’d loved and left behind, she was happy. Truly happy. She was at peace with her past, content in her present, and excited for her future.

When the coronation coverage ended, Astra got ready to return to bed. She was surprised when her phone rang, but she knew exactly who it would be.

“Mom?” she said, before the person on the other line could say a word. Her little cousins would have had just enough time to be tucked back into bed by now, if Aunt May was helping. Kenna would have rushed to the phone as soon as she got the chance.

“Sweetie? How are you, little bug?”

“I’m fine, Mom, I don’t need the pet names.” Astra grinned, rolling her eyes.

“Are you sure?” Kenna double-checked.

“Yeah. I wish Andrew wasn’t alone up there. I still love him, I don’t want him to suffer. But I was nothing but relieved when they put that crown on his head and I didn’t have to put one on mine. I made the right choice.”

“I know you did, honey, but just because you did the right thing doesn’t mean you have to feel perfectly fine about it. Especially not on a night like this.”

“Honestly, Mom… my time in London feels like another life. One I’m nothing but grateful for, but not one I want to relive.”

At first, Astra’s spring with Andrew felt like it had never really happened, or like it had happened to someone else, or like it was all a fever dream: too hot, too heady, a surreal hallucination more than a fairytale fantasy. But now, with some time and space, Astra could see it for what it really was: a romantic affair with someone she could have chosen to marry, but who ultimately was not the right fit for her. On the one hand, Astra and Andrew loved each other, and their marriage would have been fine: they’d known each other forever and they each fully understood the challenges of the royal life they would have been embarking on together.

On the other hand, Astra had known what she wanted out of life since she was a very small girl. It was a hard thing to ask an eighteen year old to walk away from a guaranteed royal wedding for a chance to work very hard to one day, possibly, make her dream come true. If Astra hadn’t grown up in Illéa Palace, she might not have made the same choice. But everything she got out of her life from now on was truly hers, she was the captain of her own fate, and even if she failed and never became a prima ballerina, at least this way she’d have had the chance.

“But Mom?”

“Hm?”

“Don’t ever tell Gramma Magda that Andrew proposed to me and I turned him down. I think she would disown me.”

[diavolodigitale]

Stare

So... there’s this. I wrote most of the text like half a year ago and I was reeeeeally happy about it, but then I finished reading the novel and just kind of dropped it. Anyway, I came across this story among some other trash in my folders some time ago and decided that I was strongly determined to finish it as it would be a shame if I wasted so much work.

Me: the beginning was so good, I am upset about the way I finished it :C well, nobody’s going to read it anyway, so who cares.

AO3: psst, you wanna 1000+ hits on this?

Lately, Lan Xichen had been feeling uneasy all the time. No matter where he went, he would feel apprehensive and tense, as if something threatened him, pricked him in the back. Perhaps, it was high time for him to finally turn around and face what had been lurking in shadows this whole time.

Genres: Romance, Fluff, Comfort, Eventual Romance

Pairing: Lan Xichen/Jiang Cheng

Characters: Lan Xichen, Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, Jin Ling, Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi

Rating: G for God why is it so long

Size: whopping 16000 words (all 5 chapters are in this post)

Chapter 1: Aggressive 

Standing in the doorway of the Cloud Recess reception hall, Lan Xichen slightly turned his head to face the inside of the spacious room. The feeling of uneasiness he had been experiencing for the last couple of minutes reached its peak, which made him resolute to find out what exactly seemed so wrong to him. It was the time of what one might call a sporadic celebration held by the Gusu Lan sect together with the Yunmeng Jiang sect every once in a while with the purpose of strengthening the bonds between the two sects. The guests had already gathered and now were merrily chatting around him, yet from the very beginning of the ceremony he had been feeling as though something was odd, and this feeling did not let him be at ease.

His gaze slid swiftly from one corner of the room, passing the members of both clans resting at their tables, each on their respective side, and stopped abruptly at the face of Jiang Cheng, who was sitting stiffly, holding a cup with liquor in his hand, and fixedly staring at him with an unusually grim expression on his face. The moment Lan Xichen caught him doing that, he tried to avert his eyes as if he hadn’t been looking that way at all, and gulped everything that was in his cup at one go.

Not unlike Jin Guangyao, Lan Xichen was very much concerned with the well-being and comfort of his guests, so he immediately thought that something must have happened that angered the leader of the Jiang sect, who was, in addition to everything, quite infamous for his short temper. With Jiang Cheng diligently hiding his gaze, the atmosphere, to which Lan Xichen was quite susceptible, lightened quite considerably, so he concluded that his feeling must have appeared because of Jiang Cheng’s dissatisfaction with the Gusu Lan sect’s ceremony.

His smile as kind and genuine as ever, Lan Xichen elegantly but promptly approached the table at which Jiang Cheng was sitting.

“Sect Leader Jiang,” he greeted and bowed politely, joining his hands in front of himself.

“Sect Leader Lan,” murmured the greeting Jiang Cheng, standing up from his mat and also bowing in respect.

Despite the fact that Lan Xichen would frequently personally greet all of his guests, he had been unprecedentedly busy before this particular celebration and hadn’t had the opportunity to welcome the disciples and members of the Yunmeng Jiang sect when they had just arrived. He was wondering if that might have become the cause for Jaing Cheng’s displeasure.

“Are you enjoying the ceremony, Sect Leader Jiang?” he asked, his eyes slightly squinted because of the smile blooming on his face. He was sure the ceremony would satisfy the needs of all of his guests as Lan Wangji had personally attended to all of the matters that concerned its organization. In spite of that, he still wanted to make sure nothing out of the ordinary had happened that might have spoiled the mood of his guests.

“Yes, I am,” nodded Jiang Cheng, taking a seat on his mat again. He abruptly turned his eyes to Jin Ling, who, he had noticed earlier, was frantically spinning and turning at his own table beside him. Sending him a condemnatory look, he turned back to Lan Xichen and added, “Do not bother, Sect Leader Lan. You could not have held a better ceremony.”

Lan Xichen bowed lightly in gratitude. Jiang Cheng was a difficult person to deal with, so he, of course, would not have let it out even if something had really displeased him, especially to the sect leader’s face, so Lan Xichen decided to stick around for a little longer and entertain the Yunmeng Jiang sect leader with his presence, just to be on the safe side.

“I sincerely hope you do not mind me joining you,” he said politely, kneeling beside Jiang Cheng’s table.

Jiang Cheng’s eyes widened a bit from surprise as it was not common for a sect leader to sit beside their guests instead of taking their seat at the head of the main table.

“No… not at all,” he replied, trying to make his voice seem emotionless and rigid.

Jin Ling stared at them with overt interest, having abandoned the food he indulged into only moments ago. Jiang Cheng sent him another killing stare, reminding him to watch his manners, and the young man was forced to mind his own business yet again. He was extremely bored to sit there all alone with nobody to chat with, but even more than that he was afraid of a future scolding, so in the end decided not to test his uncle’s patience.

“How do you find the liquor from Gusu, Sect Leader Jiang?” asked Lan Xichen, carefully filling his cup from the liquor bottle standing on his table.

Jiang Cheng accepted the cup and looked into the clear liquid inside of it, reflecting on the question. Not a single muscle on his face twitched as he gulped it and set the cup on the table with a quiet tap.

“It is to my liking,” he said briefly and threw a quick glance at the bottle in Lan Xichen’s hands.

The man in front of him smiled vividly and busied himself with filling his cup yet again.

Some visitors of the Cloud Recess felt quite uncomfortable when served the liquor there as the Lan sect members wouldn’t join them in drinking it, and Jiang Cheng was definitely one of them. Yet he could not admit it as it seemed impolite for him to refuse a drink offered by the sect leader himself.

“Young Master Wei mentioned quite a few times that he preferred it to the liquor from Yunmeng,” said Lan Xichen, offering the filled cup to Jiang Cheng once again.

“I am sure he did,” murmured Jiang Cheng and pouted for reasons unknown to his interlocutor. He took the cup from Lan Xichen but did not down it and instead continued to hold it in his hands, as if warming it.

To avoid the uncomfortable silence that arose after mentioning Wei Wuxian in the conversation, Lan Xichen sighed with pretended disappointment and said, “I myself was never able to try it, so all I can do is believe Young Master Wei’s as well as Sect Leader Jiang’s words. Could you, perhaps, describe the taste to me, Sect Leader Jiang?” The smile not fading from his face for even a second, Lan Xichen tilted his head a bit and added, “If it would not be too much of a bother for you, of course.”

“It is...” started Jiang Cheng, still looking into his cup instead of lifting his head to face Lan Xichen, and squeezed his lips.

Jin Ling was gawking at them again, leaning a bit on the wooden surface before him, his puppy eyes gleaming at the sight of something even slightly more interesting that the plates on his table he was rearranging this whole time. Jiang Cheng only sighed at the annoying youngling’s behaviour and continued after a short pause.

“It is sweet with a bit of spice in it. It does not sting like some other wines I have been lucky enough to sample and because of that it is quite easy to be tricked by its mildness and drink more than one should.”

After blurting out the last part of the sentence, Jiang Cheng hurried to drink the wine in his cup, this time savouring the taste.

Watching him drink, Lan Xichen nodded a few times as if understanding what Jiang Cheng meant.

“Has Sect Leader Lan ever felt like tasting the wine himself?” asked Jiang Chen, not giving him back the cup for refilling. Immediately, though, he seized the question, not letting Lan Xichen even consider his answer. “My apologies if I am being disrespectful, asking such a thing. Please, disregard my question.”

La Xichen shook his head, smiling.

“I was curious. There is no shame for anybody in wanting to try the unknown. I am only inquiring about it because, if I am being completely honest, I still am curious,” he squinted his eyes in a guilty smile, his hands lying flat on his knees, not able to get a hold of the cup to fill for his guest. “It is the fragrance, you see,” he continued. “I can feel a very strong fruit aroma enveloping the room every time we hold a ceremony in the Cloud Recess, and it piques my curiosity.”

“It must be tough for the Lan sect disciples if even Sect Leader Lan feels this way,” exclaimed Jin Ling surprisedly. Jiang Cheng immediately turned to him with his whole body, the sight of his clenched fist silencing all further remarks of his nephew.

Lan Xichen laughed softly, taking the cup from Jiang Cheng’s tight grip and startling him with an airy touch on his fingers. He seemed to hear the fragile porcelain almost crack in Jiang Cheng’s hand and decided to save his guest from likely injuring himself, even if it came at the cost of him looking a bit insolent.

“Indeed, it is tough, but they have many other things to enjoy here,” he said, filling the cup yet again. “Sect Leader Jiang, do not be angry at Young Master Jin. Let children be children, as inquisitive and restless as they can be. At least during such festivities.”

Jin Ling’s eyes lit up when Lan Xichen himself stood up for him. He glanced at his uncle, awaiting his reaction, and felt satisfied, seeing how Jiang Cheng ended up following the advice of his senior and only sighed again defeatedly, accepting the cup.

“Children are not easily entertained during such events. Perhaps, Young Master Jin would like to leave the reception hall and join the Gusu Lan sect disciples who right now happen to practice archery in the training yard? Of course, with the permission of his sect leader,” said Lan Xichen, glancing kindly first at Jin Ling, and then at his uncle.

Hearing the proposal, Jin Ling grew even more agitated and pressed his hands hard on his knees, silently praying for Jiang Cheng to let him go.

As soon as Jiang Cheng gave him a short nod, he sprinted out of the hall, thanking both him and Zewu-Jun as he ran towards the exit.

“Running is prohibited in the Cloud Recess!” rang the voice of Lan Qiren from somewhere on the other side of the room, but Jin Ling was already too far to care or even notice.

Lan Xichen gracefully covered his mouth with his long white sleeve, letting out a short laugh. Jiang Cheng clicked his tongue, his brows furrowing as he looked in the direction Jin Ling ran in.

“I will bring the brat back and make him apologize for his behaviour,” he said through gritted teeth.

Fearing he would really stand up and follow his nephew, Lan Xichen rushed to stop him.

“No need to worry, Sect Leader Jiang, Young Master Jin will be able to make amends for it later. I am sure it is not the last time you are in the Cloud Recess after all.”

Having been positively influenced by Zewu-Jun’s wish to keep the ceremony as peaceful and tranquil as possible, Jiang Cheng seemed to quickly calm down, and for once stopped thinking about how his nephew always allegedly brought him trouble and shame in the eyes of the surrounding people.

Lan Xichen noticed that Jiang Cheng still did not drink the wine he poured him previously, so he tried to redirect his attention to that instead.

“Ah, now that I think of it, Sect Leader Jiang has just mentioned that it is quite easy to drink more wine than one should, and I am now hurrying him to drink even more without offering a single bite of food. How improper of me,” he said and bowed slightly, feeling a bit foolish.

“Please, do not apologize, Zewu-Jun, I am treated well, and I have everything I need here,” awkwardly replied Jiang Cheng and took a grape from one of the small plates standing on the table in front of him as if to assure the host he was really fine. “What is more important,” he muttered, “I feel like I am stealing the attention of Zewu-Jun from the other guests. Please, do not feel obliged to entertain me exclusively, I do not require others to keep me company at all times, Zewu-Jun.”

His words sounded a bit harsher than he wanted them to, yet there was no going back, so he just sat and looked at Lan Xichen. The expression of the latter one, however, did not change the slightest, he only shook his head again with the same mild smile.

“Sect Leader Jiang is our most important guest, so there is no other person here today more entitled to get my attention. Moreover, I do not feel forced, so Sect Leader Jiang has nothing to worry about. Only if my presence burdens him, will I take my leave,” he said, screwing his eyes. One might say the words would sound somewhat shamelessly if it was not for the person who uttered them.

Having felt the air in the room become significantly livelier and lighter after he came to keep Jiang Cheng company, Lan Xichen decided it would be best to stay and personally make sure his guest did not need anything and felt comfortable and satisfied, thus, the condition he put forward.

“No-no! It is not that… I did not…” blurted Jiang Cheng, gravely afraid to offend or anger his most powerful ally who also just happened to be the calmest person ever known to the cultivation world. He managed to quickly compose himself and went on, “I would not want Zewu-Jun to have sore knees because of me.”

He looked at how Lan Xichen had been sitting on the bare floor this whole time and clenched his teeth and the jawbone below his temples jutted.

“Then I will take a cushion not to trouble the sect leader and join him shortly,” answered Lan Xichen, not leaving Jiang Cheng any other choice than to comply.

Lan Qiren shook his head, disapproving of the sight.

Wei Wuxian conspiratorially leaned to Lan Wangji sitting beside him and whispered to him, covering his mouth with his hand.

“What are they even doing there? Lan Zhan, why is Zewu-Jun not sitting at his table today?”

Lan Wangji did not answer and only continued to look at how his brother was arranging a seat for himself near Jiang Cheng.

Wei Wuxian hmphed and mumbled to himself.

“Well, if Hanguang-Jun doesn’t know, then there is nobody in this room I can possibly ask apart from Zewu-Jun himself”.

Watching intently as Jiang Cheng was constantly huffing and puffing, his face shifting from grim and pale to anxious and bluish, while Lan Xichen was smiling, and smiling, and smiling his warm and amiable smile, filling his cup again and again, Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but chuckle at how helpless his shidi looked.

“Wei Ying, stop staring,” whispered Lan Wangji, his glance pricking Wei Wuxian as he reproached him for his inappropriate behaviour.

“Lan Zha-a-ang,” uttered Wei Ying slowly, giving Lan Wangji a few reassuring pats on the back, “don’t be such a bore. Even if you don’t want to look, I do, because this is truly a sight I do not indent to miss even a second of.”

Chapter 2: Threatening

Another eerily similar episode happened to Lan Xichen in a few weeks’ time, during the nighthunt under the supervision of the Yunmeng Jiang sect. Both of the sects participated in it by mutual agreement.

The hour was late and the night air was fresh. No animals or any other wildlife could be seen active in the proximity of the cultivators’ makeshift

camp situated on the clearing in the woods. Long arms of trees reached out far and intertwined, creating the illusion of closed space around the clearing, but the area in the middle of it was brightly illuminated by the moon light on a par with many lanterns brought by the cultivators. The atmosphere was calm enough, despite the fact that many people were agitated and anxiously looking forward to the grandiose fight, some of them making practice swings with their swords while the others fought their urges to start a bonfire and nestle cozily beside it, falling asleep, surrounded by dark wilderness.

“Brother, the beast has fled from Young Master Jin’s trap,” uttered emotionlessly Lan Wangji, having approached his brother. Zewu-Jun was graciously standing near a tall branchy tree at the side of the clearing and watching the cultivators roam around and try to find the track of the beast they came to hunt down.

“As expected,” he said knowingly, “having been wounded by it, it is now enraged and will soon come to seek its revenge.”

Lan Wangji nodded agreeingly. They knew it was not the best idea, to put a trap for such a huge beast, as it was clearly not able to hold it back, much less kill it. Nonetheless, they chose not to raise their concerns as this time they were only the guests of the Yunmeng Jiang sect. Jin Ling’s methods differed from those used by their disciples, but he seemed to have quite a lot of fun, nighthunting using all of the means provided to him by his uncle, and there was enough of adult cultivators around to take care of the situation in case something went wrong.

Hearing Jin Ling, Lan Sizhui, and Lan Jingyi happily chattering over the enormous footprints the beast had left along a narrow path in the woods, Lan Xichen smiled. His goal had always been to discipline his disciples so that he could later let them wander around the world without having to worry for their safety. It was achieved by teaching them to control themselves, be careful and aware of their surroundings, and putting as much knowledge into their heads as it was humanly possible. Nevertheless, at such moments he wanted to give them as much freedom as he could, understanding how thousands and thousands of rules of the Gusu Lan sect could impinge on the young minds such as theirs.

He looked at Lan Wangji standing proudly beside him, his face so similar to his own, yet so different at the same time.

“Wangji, where will you go after the nighthunt is over?” he asked inquisitively.

“Don’t know. Let us catch the beast first, then think,” he answered with no emotions colouring his voice.

“I will be glad to see you in Could Recess, but if you have other plans…” Lan Xichen hesitated before smiling with the corners of his lips as he looked at Wei Wuxian, who pretended to teach something extremely valuable to the juniors standing with their mouths gaping, and continuing, “I do not mind either.”

Lan Wangji bowed to him in gratitude, knowing that it was not easy for his brother to let him go and take all of the responsibilities of leading the sect onto his shoulders. Anyway, he did not intend to leave before the beast was dealt with, and Wei Wuxian’s extreme desire to glance at how big and wild it was was only one of many reasons for that.

It was rumoured that the beast was a giant scorpion with a head of a snake coming out of its tail instead of a sting. As tall as four horses stacked atop of each other, it supposedly could kill a negligent passer-by in more than a hundred different ways: crush them by its weight, swallow them completely, strangle them with its wriggling snake body; and those were only the methods mentioned briefly in the tavern of the nearby city by its owner, who was so eager to discuss the beast, the cultivators did not even have to pay him for his tongue to loosen.

Nobody knew where such a beast could come from or where it could possibly be hiding at, as nobody ever lived long enough to see it leave. In any case, tales told by common folk were rarely to be trusted in such circumstances, as quite frequently the beasts that were frolicking around the forests and killing hundreds of men turned out to be mere animals that grew a bit too large in size and scared one or two villagers on their way home. What one misheard, the other one overexaggerated, and so the stories of hellish demon spawns were born to reach the ears of the members of the cultivation sect that was the closest to the infested area.

Experienced cultivators knew not to hope too much to encounter what they were promised, but the juniors still held a youthful lust for adventures, the tales of which they would be able to share with each other afterwards as a part of their competition for the title of the bravest and most talented swordsman. They wandered around the area of the forest not too far away from their seniors and tried to determine what was the beast’s movement pattern, veering, as Wei Wuxian was lazily sitting on the tree branch and pointing with his flute to the spots they should inspect, his leg swinging casually.

Should the beast really be as incredible and mighty as it was described by the villagers, the amount of negative air enveloping the members of the two sects would be overwhelming at best. Despite that, the only thread of threatening energy Lan Xichen felt was the one directed solely at him. It was far too weak to affect him in any way, but its pricking still made him

feel uncomfortable and a bit twitchy, even though he did not display it. The energy was not scattered all over the place and instead bothered only him, which made him think it must not be the beast who was emitting it.

As he was pondering over where this energy could possibly be coming from, he noticed his brother standing quietly, directing all of his attention at a particular spot on the other edge of the circular clearing the cultivators were occupying. He followed his gaze, but could not see what he was staring at.

“What is the matter, Wangji?” he asked.

“I thought I saw someone,” replied Lan Wangji with notes of concern in his voice, only discernible by Lan Xichen.

“Behind that tree?” asked Lan Xichen, seemingly not worrying even a tad.

Lan Wangji nodded, clenching the hilt of Bichen.

Lan Xichen put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head lightly before rising noiselessly up into the air with the intention of flying over to the other side and not scaring away a person that stood there, hiding. His snowy robes and ink-black long hair fluttered in the wind when he suddenly stopped and descended back down, hearing a familiar voice ringing out further in the woods.

“Uncle Jiang! What are you standing here for? I almost didn’t notice you!” yelled Jin Ling, slamming into the tree Lan Xichen previously wanted to approach to stop himself from passing by Jiang Cheng.

Without saying anything, Jiang Cheng came out from behind the tree, his fists clenched, eyes bulging, and lips pouting. He couldn’t make up his mind as to how we could scold his nephew for what he had done, so instead only stared at him, hoping that the stare would be as effective as the words he was now at a loss for.

Jin Ling did not understand why in the world his uncle was angry already since he did not yet do anything to cause this. He did his best to ignore this sudden fit of rage and continued as if nothing happened.

“I was looking for you everywhere! Uncle Jiang, Uncle Wei showed me how we can track the beast’s way starting at my trap. Will you go in search of it with us?” he beamed, not being able to stand still from the excitement that filled him.

“Uncle Wei?” mocked Jiang Cheng, the corner of his lip twitching. “If he is your uncle now, what do you even come to me for? Next time we are in Lotus Pear, why don’t you collect all of your belongings and join him on his journeys instead of staying?” he raged.

Jin Ling’s eyes reddened a bit and lips started to tremble. The situation seemed so unfair to him. Having lost one of the few relatives he had and suddenly having found another one only to be chided for it by the closest person he had, he felt like running away immediately and never speaking to Jiang Cheng again. He was used to his uncle yelling at him left and right, but the topic of family had always been his weak spot, and he knew that Jiang Cheng was well aware of that.

“Maybe I will!” he shouted with a wobbling voice. “If you don’t want to see me in Lotus Pier, you can just say so, you don’t have to look for excuses like uncle Wei!”

Everybody directed their attention to the two yelling at each other. The disciples of the Yunmeng Jiang sect were, of course, long accustomed to such squabbles between their leader and his nephew, but this one in particular seemed to be a tad worse than most of the previous ones.

Fairy ran towards its owner, barking loudly, as it sensed how upset he was. It sat close to Jin Ling’s feet, flattened its ears against its head, and pushed its black snout into his hand in between his trembling fingers.

Jin Ling, being almost on the verge of crying, carefully petted it with his hand and fearlessly looked Jiang Cheng in the eyes.

Looking at them sticking so close to each other in search of support, both confused and distressed, Jiang Cheng felt extremely guilty. He knew that he shouldn’t have said what he had, but it was also incredibly hard for him to admit his mistake, especially in front of so many people that included his own subordinates as well as the prominent cultivators from the Lan sect. He was breathing heavily as the feelings of remorse and spite fought inside of him. As always, spite won.

“Jin Ling! You-”

“Sect Leader Jiang,” interrupted Lan Xichen, appearing out of nowhere beside him. Everybody was so focused on the argument that didn’t even notice when he managed to approach the two. The expression on his face was gentle, yet he was not smiling, feeling it would be completely out of place at the time.

“Sect Leader Jiang,” he repeated to get Jiang Cheng’s attention, “please, let us consider this incident a misunderstanding. Both you and Young Master Jin need some time to cool off, so why don’t you speak again after we finish the nighthunt together?”

Lan Xichen wanted to lay his hand on Jiang Cheng’s shoulder, but it seemed to him that he would get a scorch from how furious he was, so he dared not. He gave Jin Ling a sympathetic look and nodded encouragingly,

taking his chances to persuade at least one of the sides to settle for a temporary peace.

Jin Ling sniffed, trying his best not to let a single tear slip out of his eyes, crossed his hands on the chest and turned away, showing his unwillingness to continue the talk.

“Fine,” roared Jiang Cheng and determinately fled deeper into the forest, not to be bothered by anybody else. Lan Xichen, however, did not agree with his decision, so he followed him, waving his hand for others to stay away. Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian gingerly approached Jin Ling, pushing Lan Wangji to the front as he went to get an obstacle between him and the huge spiritual dog panting at Jin Ling’s feet. He was not yet ready to overcome his fear, but seeing his shijie’s son at such a state was more than he could handle.

“Sect Leader Jiang!” called Lan Xichen, almost catching up with Jiang Cheng. “Please, wait.”

Jiang Cheng stopped abruptly and sighed, still clenching his fists.

“I know that my behaviour was ill-advised, Sect Leader Lan. I apologize that you had to witness it, but I cannot make up for it right now. Maybe, it would be best if you joined your sect members and defeated the beast for the nighthunt and everything about it to finally be over.”

“Sect Leader Jiang’s disciples are all extremely skilled and talented, I am sure that my help is not needed at the moment,” said Lan Xichen consolingly and couldn’t help but let an awkward smile slide onto his face.

Jiang Cheng turned around and faced the only person that had the audacity to follow him. Other cultivators having stayed behind, there was nobody to hold a lantern and illuminate the place, so his face was completely submerged into darkness. Despite that, Lan Xichen still managed to discern what a guilty and upset expression he was wearing. One single ray of moonlight managed to slip through thick branches above, and for a second it seemed like Jiang Cheng’s eyes were shimmering.

“Sect Leader Jiang,” started Lan Xichen again, seeing how Jiang Cheng could not find any suitable words, “lately, I have noticed that something is bothering you. Has anything happened?” Similarly to Wangji’s, his robes possessed a peculiar feature of giving the effect of shining in the darkness, even without a proper light source nearby. His hair descended in soft waves onto his lapels and blew in the late-night breeze. Holding his hands behind his back, he was the epitome of tranquility.

Jiang Cheng had always envied such people and how they never lost control over anything.

“No,” he uttered, raising his head to feel the wind roaming up in the tree branches and rustling the leaves above them.

Lan Xichen was drawn away from gazing onto his tired face by the sudden gust of hateful energy brought about by the wind. It was indeed strong, stronger than what he had expected to find in the forest that night. Immediately he became more alert and reached for the xiao hanging on his waist.

“Seems like we are not alone anymore,” smirked Jiang Cheng, stroking the ring on his index finger.

For a moment, complete silence fell onto the forest. Then the beast emerged.

Should the other cultivators be with them at the moment, Wei Wuxian and all of the younger disciples would be glad to learn that at least the tales of it having a hideous snake head instead of a sting were true. Its eyes were dangerously gleaming in the darkness as it menacingly approached the two sect leaders. Its size was truly terrifying, even though it was quite difficult to determine if it was really as tall as rumoured. The cloud of resentful energy it produced was so overpowering that both men were taken aghast. It was impossible to understand how such a large beast with this much dark power managed to sneak up on them.

Not taking even a second of delay, Lan Xichen grabbed Liebing. The sound, cold and clear, enveloped everything around them, and the beast immediately staggered on its way to attacking him. Lan Xichen took a few careful steps back, still playing his xiao. The beast roared and squelched because of the melody piercing it right to its essence, but still followed him. It would not be a difficult fight for the leader of the Lan sect, seeing how he was able to take control of the creature at the very start of it, but it wasn’t meant for him to finish off the monster that night.

With a low growl, Jiang Cheng made an abrupt movement of his hand, and a neon-purple whip traced its pattern, hitting the ground beneath his feet and making a dent in the soft undergrowth. The beast turned its ugly head to the startling sound and took a giant step towards Lan Xichen, wanting to escape the newly emerged threat. With no hesitation at all, it sent his tail with a snake’s mouth wide-open towards Jiang Cheng in an attempt to drive him back.

Engulfed in the ghostly sound of the flute, Jiang Cheng glanced in the direction the beast was advancing to, and his body moved without him even having to make a conscious effort. He dodged the bite of the giant snake, almost completely dropping to the ground, and instantly rose up to press on the creature. He hit the ground with Zidian a few times on both

sides of the monster, scaring it and not letting it use any other route to escape.

Disturbed by the flute’s lethargic melody and blinded by Zidian’s glare, the beast cried again in despair before Jiang Cheng raised his whip one last time, swaying it high in the air for the hit to gain force, and landed it with a crack dead on the center of the beast, cutting both of its heads together with its body into two perfectly even parts. Lan Xichen hurriedly jumped away, hearing how the tree behind him snaped in half, also stricken by the whip.

Still holding Liebing in his hand, and for some reason holding his breath, he glanced at Jiang Cheng. His heart was pounding loudly as he continued looking, enchanted by the sight.

Zidian glared with vivid purple light and crackled, sparks flying all around its owner. Even the fresh nigh air seemed to feel crisp as small flashes of lightening pierced it here and there, making it impossible to even approach Jiang Cheng. With his face austere, chin slightly protruding upwards, and eyes full of resentment and haughtiness towards the fallen opponent, he stood there, amid the dark chilly woods, illuminated by the ghastly glow of his spiritual weapon. His combed hair seemed to be the colour of a ripe dark plum while his face resembled a light and tender thistle, in addition to its paleness remaining unmoved and, thus, making him look more like a ghost than human. Without moving his head, he slowly turned his eyes to Lan Xichen who was breaking a certain rule of his own sect, still staring at him, and pierced him with his scornful glance in return.

After what seemed to Lan Xichen as eternity, but, in reality, turned out to be a mere few seconds, they were approached by a noisy crowd of cultivators, rushing from the camp to the sounds of a battle. Hurrying at the head of the group was Lan Wangji who understood something was wrong hearing the first notes of his brother’s xiao ringing in the distance.

“Brother, have you been hurt?” he asked, examining the destructive aftermath of the whip’s work around them.

“I am completely unharmed, thanks to Sect Leader Jiang,” answered Lan Xichen slowly, taking his time to regain his composure. He added, still looking at Jiang Cheng, “Sect Leader Jiang, I am much obliged for your help.”

Holding Liebing, he locked his hands in front of himself and took a deep bow to Jiang Cheng, staying in this position for a few more seconds than needed.

“Wah, how scary,” whispered Lan Jingyi either to himself or to Lan Sizhui, who, as always, was standing not too far from him. They were afraid to even look at Jiang Cheng at the moment.

Jin Ling only pouted more, throwing furtive looks at the body of the beast he wanted to catch so badly and at his uncle who was at the centre of everybody’s attention. He was proud more than disappointed, but did not want to admit it even to himself.

Fairy happily wagged its tail a few steps behind him.

Jiang Cheng’s whip vanished, and he bowed to Lan Xichen in return.

“Zewu-Jun has nothing to thank me for. The nighthunt was a joint venture, and both of the sides have put in an equal amount of work,” he concluded, straightening himself up.

“Then it is my delight to pronounce this nighthunt successful,” said Lan Xichen for everybody to hear. “Now the Lan sect will take its leave and-”

“We shall all return to Lotus Pier and rest. Let us leave long travels as well as cleaning up the mess for tomorrow, Sect Leader Lan,” said Jiang Cheng in a tone that did not condone any dispute.

“Then we will avail ourselves of your hospitality once again,” yielded Lan Xichen and smiled politely, lowering his gaze.

Wei Wuxian sighed.

“He could have at least been more respectful and not interrupted Zewu-Jun,” he said for only the juniors around him to hear. They happened to be shielding him from Jin Ling’s Fairy who was peacefully minding its own business.

“Mn,” agreed Lan Wangji, and the others actively nodded, as always devotedly supporting the opinion of their seniors.

Everybody having departed in the direction of Lotus Pier, Jin Ling was the last one to leave the scene. First, because he had to drag away Fairy that already started nibbling on one of the beast’s many legs, and, second, because he did not want to walk in depressing silence all the way home. After all, his place was always beside his uncle. He decided to keep his distance and lagged behind on purpose, but no matter how hard he tried, there was still another person that just would not leave.

Wei Wuxian leaned against a tree a few meters away from him and toyed with Chenqing in his hand.

“Are you still angry at him, Rulan?” he asked quietly.

Jin Ling hmphed, hearing his courtesy name being used.

“Don’t be. You know how stupid your uncle is sometimes, and he’s generally not very good with words. Don’t learn from the worst, learn from the best,” he grinned and pushed himself up from the tree. “And call me your martial uncle, that way he will not find fault with you. Now, send your dog away, and let’s go.”

Jin Ling stood, not granting Wei Wuxian his request, and waited.

“A-Ling, don’t be like that!” shouted his martial uncle and stamped his foot onto the damp grass.

Jin Ling smiled mischievously and slapped Fairy’s butt a few times.

“Go, find uncle Jiang. Follow him all the time until he gives you food,” he murmured to it, and the dog sprinted off, obeying its master’s command.

The dog having increased the distance between them significantly, Wei Wuxian came to Jin Ling and pulled him with one arm around his neck right into his bear hug.

“Now that is my shizhi! I will treat you with my favourite pie when we return.”

“For this,” grumbled Jin Ling, struggling in his grip, “you will have to make it at least two, Wei shishu.”

Chapter 3: Unreadable

Down in Lotus Pier all of the guests were let back into the rooms they were residing in the day before the nighthunt and fed richly to commemorate the hunt’s successful outcome. Even though most of the cultivators clearly understood that their contribution to the nighthunt was close to nonexistent, nobody refused the late-night dinner or, as some called it, the early-morning breakfast.

Along with spicy, but, nevertheless, quite delicious food, they were treated with the news that what the leader of the Jiang sect meant by “tomorrow” was, actually, the day after tomorrow. The nighthunt ended almost at dawn, and by the time they arrived at Lotus Pier, the sun had already risen. It was only natural for them to assume that they would take a short rest before setting off for their journey home, but Wei Wuxian was kind enough to explain to them that it was not how they did it here, in Yunmeng. Sect leader’s guests came a long way to participate in the nighthunt and helped the local dwellers by making the roads safe again, so the least he could do was express his gratitude in such a way. It goes without saying that nobody dared to disagree.

Despite his body being tired and mind telling him he was long late according to his sleep schedule, Lan Xichen felt like neither eating nor resting. He looked out of the window of the vast guest residence he was granted. It was already light outside and birds chirped loudly in the crowns of the trees growing in the inner yard. He hanged Shuoyue on his waist and ventured outside to enjoy the beauties of the region he bitterly regretted visiting so rarely.  

He strolled down a wooden bridge that stretched over a small pond with countless lotus flowers blooming on its surface, remains of morning dew covering their light-pink petals, and marveled at how different everything here was from misty and brisk Cloud Recess where he and his brother grew up. There it had always been eternally peaceful and predictable, calm and lofty, as not even animals dared to disturb the ever-present air of tranquility. Here he never knew what expected him behind the next corner. The nature of the region and the city of Yunmeng looked almost exotic and breathtaking in their untamedness. It seemed to him that this really was the only place that could bring up such people as Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng. They went through their lives like wild mountain streams, not contemplating, not doubting, acting on their impulses and doing the way they saw fit. Even when looking back or faced with regret, it was not for the foreign eyes, but only for themselves. Never did they let out any word about what they really cared for or were bitter about, instead holding it deep inside of them, carrying it in their proud hearts.

Lan Xichen smiled with the corners of his lips, unwillingly comparing himself and Lan Wangji to the people who called this place home. They were the extremities, two different sides of one coin, but, perhaps, such people really got on best.

“When I see such a smile on Zewu-Jun’s face, I can rest assured that he is pleased with the time spent in Lotus Pier,” said Wei Wuxian confidently and grinned. He was squatting down on the broad steps leading to the clear surface of the pond. Jin Ling was submerging his feet into the lukewarm water beside him.

Lan Xichen approached the skillfully carved railing of the bridge, his hands as always locked behind his back, and smiled again at Wei Wuxian.

“I enjoy it here a lot. Perhaps, even too much. This feeling always makes leaving incredibly difficult,” he replied with a meditative look on his face.

“Then why not stay here for longer? Uncle Jiang will always find a room and some time to spare for Zewu-Jun,” said Jin Ling and quietly yawned, exhausted by the nighthunt’s occurrences and lack of sleep.

“Maybe, someday,” answered Lan Xichen kindly. After a moment of silence, he inquired, “Is Young Master Ling feeling better now?”

Jin Ling nodded and splashed the water in the pond with his dangling foot.

“I know it might look strange for Zewu-Jun, but my uncle…” he inhaled more air, struggling to utter what he had in mind, before continuing, “he is not that bad. At least, not always. I don’t know what got onto him, but it will not apply to the Lan sect in any way.”

Wei Wuxian beamed proudly and dragged Jin Ling closer, squeezing his forearm.

“A-Ling is right. Sect Leader Lan should not worry about Jiang Cheng’s temper influencing his stay at all. He will come around sooner or later. He always does. And if he doesn’t,” he squinted his eyes threateningly, “I am here to help him come to his senses. After all, that’s what family is for.”

Lan Xichen looked down, his face full of understanding and contentment.

“And Wangji is…?” he asked, not really intending to finish the question.

“Sleeping, of course,” waved his hand Wei Wuxian. “He still has half an hour or so left before this creepy habit of his will tell him to rise and shine.”

Having made sure his brother was fine, Lan Xichen had only one more thing that bothered him at the moment, so he directed his thoughtful gaze at Wei Wuxian.

“Young Master Wei, I wanted to ask you…” he started, but lost his confidence mid-sentence. Instead of continuing he looked at Jin Ling, who, having been listening to them only moments ago, was already peacefully snoring on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder, clenching the hilt of Suihua in one hand, and an unfinished pie in the other one.

“Yes, Zewu-Jun? Is there something I can do for you?” urged him Wei Wuxian with enthusiasm.

Lan Xichen shook his head slowly, reserving the question. Maybe for later, maybe for himself.

“If Sect Leader Jiang is awake at the moment, I will pay him a visit. He may be too busy for us to speak during the day,” he said instead.

“He is resting in the pavilion on the other side of the residence, contemplating about his behaviour. At least I hope so. Does Zewu-Jun want me to show him the way?” asked Wei Wuxian. He did not move a single muscle of his body and sat in quite an uncomfortable position with a hunched back, afraid to wake up Jin Ling.

“There is no need. Please, take care of Young Master Jin and have some rest as well, Young Master Wei,” said Lan Xichen and bowed respectfully before departing.

Wei Wuxian watched him leave, awkwardly covering his eyes from the bright morning sun. Jin Ling produced a quiet growl of displeasure, so he hurried to move the hand back where it belonged. He knew it was too early for the question to be voiced. The time would come later.

On his way to the pavilion, Lan Xichen barely encountered any other people. The cultivators of the Yunmeng Jiang sect rarely woke up so early, so it was uncommon for somebody to practice at such an hour. He stumbled across one of his own disciples, who could neither fall asleep nor fully wake up and instead only sat all alone and played on his guqin. It did not take Lan Xichen long to recognize the sounds of his music and determine that it was Lan Sizhui. Not wanting to wake anybody up, he carefully plucked the strings, barely even touching them, but the melody was still as precise and smooth as it had always been when he would be playing in Cloud Recess. Zewu-Jun complimented him and advised to try and meditate if he could not fall asleep, to which Lan Sizhui readily agreed.

The pavilion stood solitary amid the clear waters of the lake, with only one narrow wooden bridge leading to it. Fluttering in the warm wind, ribbons of different hues of purple hung down from the beams while semi-transparent curtains protected the inside from the sunrays. The figure inside was sitting with its back to him, facing the view of the placid lake with only a few small ferries crossing it.

“Sect Leader Lan,” uttered the figure, still looking into the distance.

Lan Xichen entered the pavilion with careful gracious steps, not a single wooden floorboard creaking beneath his feet.

Jiang Cheng turned around and offered him a seat at the opposite side of the table that stood in the middle of the pavilion. Lan Xichen sat down and adjusted his robes, never disregarding his appearance.

“I apologize for bothering the Sect Leader. I do not have any pressing matters, so I shall leave if Sect Leader Jiang is willing to be alone now,” he said despite already having taken a seat.

Jiang Cheng offered him a plate of lotus seeds he had been mindlessly peeling while sitting in the pavilion for some time, the expression on his face milder than the last time the two saw each other.

“Please, be my guest, Zewu-Jun. I do not want to limit you in any way when you are visiting Lotus Pier. You are free to go wherever you like whenever you want,” he said.

Lan Xichen nodded and accepted his offering, taking a few seeds from the small porcelain plate decorated by lotus ornaments.

Hearing quiet breathing coming from below the table, Lan Xichen looked down and saw Jin Ling’s spiritual dog sleeping tight beside Jiang Cheng. It laid its head on one of his feet. He did not seem like he wanted it to move away.

Following Lan Xichen’s gaze, Jiang Cheng smiled with the corners of his lips and rolled his eyes, scratching the dog behind its black floppy ear with his slender pale fingers.

“It followed me all around the place and I could not get rid of it no matter what I did. It has always preferred Jin Ling over me, but today it seems to have set as its goal not leaving me alone for even a second.” His smile faded, and he spoke again. “Sect Leader Lan, I am truly sorry for what you had to see in the forest. My behaviour was inappropriate. I hope it will not diminish the relationships between the Lan sect and the Jiang sect. I also hope you will be able to forget this incident,” he said calmly.

Zewu-Jun looked at him, and their eyes met.

“It is not my task to judge if Sect Leader Jiang’s behaviour was wrong, so, please, do not trouble yourself with such thoughts. We are here to support the Jiang sect, be it on the nighthunt or beyond it. If Sect Leader Jiang wants me to feel comfortable, then my only wish would be for him to settle his relations with his nephew. We never wanted to disturb the peace in Lotus Pier with our arrival.”

“It is only fair for you to ask for that,” agreed Jiang Cheng and petted Fairy’s huge head that was now resting on his knees. The dog was drooling a bit on his neat clothing, but he did not mind.

“In fact, I came to Sect Leader Jiang with a proposal. I humbly ask for him to lend me his ears and see if it might interest him,” said Lan Xichen and laid his right hand atop his left hand on the table before him, not saying a word before Jiang Cheng agreed.

“It will be my honour,” replied Jiang Cheng with a nod.

“I understand that Sect Leader’s way of cultivation and of seeing the world is different from mine, but I cannot help but worry for his well-being,” started Lan Xichen carefully, checking if Jiang Cheng got upset over his words. No negative reaction followed, so he continued. “No matter the cause, Sect Leader Jiang seems to worry a lot lately. I am not here to annoy him with questions, of course, only to offer a helping hand. Even if Sect Leader Jiang is not experiencing any major inconveniences concerned with his accumulated emotional and physical exhaustion at the moment, the consequences of the qi deviation…” he gulped, gasped for air, and forcefully continued a bit louder to stop his voice from shaking, “the consequences might be dire. The last thing I would want to see is another person suffering from it because of my noninterference.”

“And Zewu-Jun’s proposal is…?” asked Jiang Cheng, his eyes opened wide and voice more curious than angry or displeased.

“The song of clarity. I could play it for Sect Leader Jiang once in a certain period of time if the offer does not seem too impudent,” finished Lan Xichen, looking up with tiny sparks of hope twinkling in his amber eyes.

“Could Sect Leader Lan play it on the xiao for me?” asked Jiang Cheng, turning away nonchalantly.

“I tend to play it on guqin, but if Sect Master Jiang prefers the xiao, then I will consider his wish,” replied Lan Xichen, his face lighting up.

“Then so be it. When shall we start?”

“Why not start today?” asked Lan Xichen, gently stroking Liebing.

Jiang Cheng laughed sonorously and leaned back against the wooden pillar behind him.

“Is Zewu-Jun afraid I will reconsider and refuse his offer if given the time? I would not take such a risk after I have already agreed out loud.”

“If Sect Leader Jiang says so, then I dare not have even a sliver of a doubt,” said Lan Xichen softly and took the white jade xiao in his hands, getting ready to play. In a matter of seconds, his weariness after the nighthunt seemed to disappear completely.

With a delicate musical instrument caressed by his fingers, snowy white robes of outmost cleanliness lightly tugged by the breaths of wind, and a cloud patterned ribbon coiling around his forehead and sliding down with the waves of his hair, he looked completely out of place. He eclipsed everything around him, and the surrounding looked duller when juxtaposed to his presence. And so, the gaze of an observer could only be directed at him, as nothing else was able to compete with the sight.

Jiang Cheng sat straight and closed his eyes. It was time for him to meditate.

Chapter 4: Intense

A few months have passed and not a single session of meditation was called off by either of the sides. What Lan Xichen defined as a “certain period of time” at first turned out to be two weeks due to him worrying that he might be too persistent, then gradually dwindled to one week, and finally ended up being only five days. As much as Jiang Cheng tried to persuade him not to come so often, worrying that he had to travel from Gusu to Yunmeng and back each time they arranged for a meditation, Lan Xichen was unshaken, seeing how Jiang Cheng did not really mean what he said. He wasn’t a very good liar and only said it out of courtesy, perhaps, not even trying to sound convincing.

Each time Lan Xichen mounted his sword to go to Lotus Pier, his disciples circled him in the yard and wished him good luck on his way there. They strongly believed their sect leader to be the most righteous and unselfish person to ever exist and were simply lost in admiration to him. Lately he tried to spend more time with them and dedicated every free minute he had to their teaching so that they wouldn’t miss their Huanguang-Jun so much. As Zewu-Jun was known to be an extremely kindhearted and gentle person, it did not take him long to make them cling to him every time he had to depart to play the song of clarity to the leader of the Jiang sect.

As much as Lan Xichen enjoyed staying in Lotus Pier, he still always tried to return as soon as he could, remembering that in his dear Cloud Recess there were these younglings that demanded constant attention and care. He would often hurry back without even giving the sect leader the honour of dining with him.

This time was no different.

He hung Liebing back on his waist, noting with delight that Jiang Cheng seemed much calmer after their regular meetings. He would still roll his eyes in irritation when Jin Ling suddenly barged in with his dog at his feet and a stupid question on his tongue and interrupt their session, but it was just a part of who he was. Notwithstanding, he never let himself repeat the nighthunt incident.

Zewu-Jun wanted to bid farewell and leave so as to get to Gusu before the sunset, but Jiang Cheng called to him, seeing how he had almost fled the main hall already.

“I know that Sect Master Lan is incredibly busy and already makes me a great favour by coming to Lotus Pier so often, but there was one more thing I wanted to ask of him,” he said, still sitting in his lotus throne on the dais.

Zewu-Jun turned around with overt curiosity in his eyes.

“I am anxious to hear what it might be,” he uttered.

“Jin Ling prepared some tea for Zewu-Jun and really wanted him to stay for a little while longer. Between the two of us, this child has never previously tried to do something for others out of his own volition, so I thought this opportunity could not be missed. Is there any chance that Zewu-Jun will find another hour to spend in Lotus Pier before departing? I am afraid, I will not be able to join in, but Jin Ling will surely keep the Sect Leader company.”

“If that pleases Sect Leader Jiang, then I will not refuse it this time,” bowed deeply Lan Xichen.

A sect disciple entered, greeted him politely, and proceeded to lead him to the chambers in which Jin Ling was awaiting their arrival.

The youth already squatted at the table behind a beautifully painted screen. His dog sat at the door as if guarding the room from intruders. It barked playfully when Lan Xichen entered.

“Zewu-Jun,” greeted him Jin Ling, bowing down with the sword in his locked hands. “Please, take a seat here, I will arrange everything. Why isn’t uncle Jiang with Zewu-Jun? Is he going to be late?”

“Sect Leader Jiang is unable to take part in the ceremony, Young Master Jin,” replied Lan Xichen, confused by Jin Ling not knowing about that.

“Wha-?”

Jin Ling stood with a teapot lid in one hand and glanced at Lan Xichen.

“Did he…? How unfair!” he muttered indignantly.

Remembering who sat before him, he pulled himself together and continued brewing the tea, annoyed at his uncle’s behaviour.

While waiting, Lan Xichen looked at a small exquisite object lying on his side of the table.

“Young Master Jin, could it be that this is one of Jiang sect’s clarity bells?” he asked, touching it gingerly.

“Yes, it is! Does Zewu-Jun like it?” asked Jin Ling in return, discarding the first brew and preparing the next one.

The bell looked fragile and sophisticated, with lotus petals of extreme detail carved on its surface. It was similar to the bells worn by Jiang sect disciples, but looked much more intricate and very carefully put together. When shook, it produced a clear sound that was pleasing to the ear, and, as known by many, due to the abundance of spiritual force inside, could easily clear the mind of its owner and help them regain their balance. Strangely enough, this one in particular had light-blue tassel attached to it instead of a purple one usually worn in Yunmeng.

“It may very well be the most beautiful one I have ever seen,” replied Lan Xichen, involuntarily starting twirling the tassel around his finger.

“What a relief! Uncle Jiang was worried Zewu-Jun would not see it fit,” said Jin Ling with enthusiasm and offered Lan Xichen a small cup of clear steaming tea.

Lan Xichen looked at him, his eyes testifying that he absolutely did not understand what Jin Ling was talking about.

Jin Ling mirrored his facial expression, his hand having stopped half the way to the bell on the table.

“Did he not even…? I…” he lowered his eyelids and let out a tired sigh. “I am sorry. Sect Leader Lan, this is a gift from uncle Jiang. He really appreciates your help and feels obliged to express his gratitude in this way. This clarity bell was made specifically for you, so not only does it hold more power than the regular one, but it also is a sign that you are a friend of the Jiang sect and to be respected all around these lands.”

Cursing his uncle for the fact that he was the one who had to say all of this, he took the bell and offered it to Zewu-Jun on the palms of his hands.

Lan Xichen silently took it, the long light-blue tassel so soft to the touch dangling as he held it. He thought that he could not accept such a gift, but Jin Ling was looking at him with eyes so full dignity for the quality of the object entrusted onto him, that he simply could not utter the words of refusal. After all, it was not the youngster’s decision to offer it.

He cupped the bell in his hands and bowed. After he hung it on the belt on his waist beside Liebing, he took the cup with tea that was now acceptable to drink, and made a small sip.

“Was there anything that Young Master Jin wanted to ask me while I am staying in Lotus Pier?” he asked, wanting to show how appreciative he was of the gift. He remembered that Jiang Cheng said something about Jin Ling wanting him to stay, and assumed it was for some particular reason.

Jin Ling’s eyes rounded in astonishment as it sounded as if he once again did not know of something necessary to understand the meaning of the question. Having realized the reason, he clenched his fist under the table, similarly to how his uncle would do it, and forced himself to smile.

“It is good that Zewu-Jun asked. There was this one thing about, eh, hm… about guqin that I do not quite… do not quite comprehend…” he began. His attempt was so feeble that was it not for how Lan Xichen always rejoiced over the younger generation seeking his wisdom, he would definitely understand that something was wrong.

“How interesting! What is it?” he asked, carefully sipping the tea.

“Well, um… so, there are these strings, and…”

Fairy yawned with its mouth open wide and stretched its front legs before lying down. It felt like letting down its guard for once.

Taking such a valuable and thoughtful gift, Lan Xichen, of course, was not able to not give anything in return. Being in Cloud Recess, he meandered around the disciple housings and chambers of the residence for the next day, musing over what he could give as a gift as worthy as the one he had received. His disciples followed him like little ducklings follow their mother, thinking that he had a complicated dilemma on his mind and wanting to be there when he would finally ask them for help.

Since the clarity bell was a very symbolic object for the Jiang sect, the only other thing of similar significance he could think of was the Lan forehead ribbon, but it was not even an option worth mentioning. Some sect members would consider even thinking about this to be unacceptable. Discarding it, he tried to remember what the leader on the Jiang sect liked.

The young disciples noticed the troubled face he tended to have every time he was thinking deeply about something, and exchanged worried glances.

It was certainly dogs, he thought to himself. Dogs and fighting. Also eating traditional Yunmeng dishes. For sure, not having to deal with other cultivators’ clans and being able to stay in Lotus Pier, watching over his sect. What he enjoyed occupying himself with while staying was training, spending time with Jin Ling on the nighthunts, some more trainings, and…

Suddenly, Lan Xichen’s face brightened up. He abruptly stood up from the bench, and his disciples stood up with him. They waited for him to finally say something to them, but all he did was leave them hastily without any explanations.

Lan Jingyi sighed disappointedly and followed the others to the library pavilion. There was nothing else for them to do at this time of the day other than study.

A few days later, Zewu-Jun yet again arrived in Lotus Pier, carrying a light oblong wooden box in his hands. The box looked elegant, but it was difficult to guess what was in it.

He came across Jiang Cheng in the training yard, exactly when he was teaching his disciples the sword stances. They repeated the movements in unison while he corrected every motion that seemed wrong to him.

“You, raise your hand higher! Are you holding your sword or a plough?” he yelled at one of them, hitting with his stiffened hand the shoulders and legs of those who stood too awkwardly or did not follow the guide with enough precision.

His disciples did not whine or cry for him to stop, only thoroughly obeyed his commands as best as they could.

Lan Xichen did not want to interrupt their lesson, but Jiang Cheng had already noticed him arrive.

“Sect Leader Lan,” he said and bowed, “I am sorry to keep you waiting, but I need to finish the training before I can join you in the great hall.”

He threw a quick glance at the bell hanging on Lan Xichen’s waist and hastily turned away so that his guest wouldn’t notice. However, the white box in Zewu-Jun’s hands immediately drew his attention back, and he started examining it with interest.

“It goes without saying, Sect Leader Jiang,” replied Zewu-Jun.

Jiang Cheng was not able to hide the curiosity in his eyes, so Lan Xichen spoke again before he got the chance to ask anything.

“This is just a little something I brought for Sect Leader Jiang,” he said and smiled, his eyes adopting the shape of crescents.

Jiang Cheng gulped and nodded. It was so obvious that he wanted to immediately find out what it was, but since he asked nothing, Lan Xichen just proceeded to the great hall, not to disturb the training with his presence. He expected having to wait for at least half an hour, but Jiang Cheng joined him about five minutes later.

“I sincerely hope the training is over not because of me arriving so early today,” remorsefully commented Lan Xichen, sitting at one of the tables in the hall.

“Absolutely not. We were… already finishing anyway,” murmured Jiang Cheng and halted a few steps into the room as if musing about something. He then took a seat on his throne, unable to hide his excitement.

Zewu-Jun stood up and approached the dais. He held up the box in his hands and bowed his head ever so slightly, presenting his gift to Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng hesitated before extremely carefully opening the lid. Inside on a soft white pillow laid a long xiao made of lavender jasper. It looked unusual due to the colour of the stone being uneven and at places pierced by white and yellowish veins.  

Confused, he did not find anything he could say to such a gift, and only took the xiao out of the box with his slightly trembling fingers, for some reason being infinitely scared to drop it on the floor. It looked like it would instantly break to pieces from taking such a fall.

“I was reflecting a lot upon the gift I could give to Sect Leader Jiang, and having remembered all of the sessions we have conducted so far, I realized that the best gift I could give to him was this,” said Lan Xichen proudly.

It was true that he had put much thought into the gift he decided give to the leader of the Jiang sect. After carefully considering all of the possibilities, he arrived at the conclusion that xaio was indeed the most meaningful and symbolic of all of them, as he intended it to become his display of trust, sincerity, and care. Despite the instrument being so similar to his own, it actually was only recently created by skillful masters specifically for this occasion. The material, the carvings, and even the shape was chosen by Lan Xichen personally with him taking into account peculiar personality and likes of its future owner.

Jiang Cheng smiled awkwardly and inspected the instrument in his hands.

“Now that I can learn to play myself, I will not have to bother Sect Leader Lan and ask him to come to the sessions…” he mumbled unconfidently.

“That is certainly a possibility,” replied Lan Xichen, still smiling, “but the song of clarity is infamous for its difficulty, so I wouldn’t expect that to happen in the nearest future. If the Sect Leader is willing, I could try and teach him to play something, be the moment suitable.”

“If I am willing?” asked Jiang Cheng and raised his eyes from the xiao. “I thought, Zewu-Jun gave me this gift so that I could learn how to play and…” he finished uncertainly, not knowing what was it exactly that he wanted to say.

“I only thought Sect Leader Jiang enjoyed these meetings, and wanted to give him something that would remind him of them. It also seems like Sect Leader Jiang finds pleasure in listening to the sound of xiao, so I would be eager to teach him if he decided that he wanted to play on his own someday,” said Lan Xichen, a little upset by Jiang Cheng’s rection.

Jiang Cheng positioned the xiao as if he wanted to try and blow in it, but then decided not to. He noted that it was quite nice to the touch, the stone being smooth and cool. He put it back into the box and took the box from Lan Xichen’s hands, bowing deeply.

“Thank you, Sect Leader Lan, I will treasure it. I don’t think I am ready to learn yet, but, please, know that I view this as a very thoughtful and useful present.”

“Does… Sect Leader Jiang really like it?” asked Zewu-Jun, unconsciously tugging on the bell on his waist, unconvinced by his words.

“Its beauty is unparalleled and it is remarkably strong as a spiritual weapon. Much to my displeasure, it would simply be disrespectful towards such an instrument if I used it before giving it a proper name,” answered Jiang Cheng and smiled, this time more sincerely. There was kindness in his eyes, so it seemed like he did not make up what he was saying anymore.

Lan Xichen sighed with relief. When it came to Jiang Cheng, one could never be sure of what his reaction would be to anything he was presented with, at least if it was not puppies he was gifted.

“Shall we begin the session then?” he asked.

“It is high time,” replied Jiang Cheng. He went back to his throne and sat down, putting the box close to him.

As their meetings passed, they gifted each other a few more other things, though, less significant than the clarity bell and the xiao.

Chapter 5: Charming

Lan Xichen knew that he might not get another opportunity like this in a very long time. It was quite a lucky coincidence that Wei Wuxian just happened to be visiting Lotus Pier again when he himself felt like he could not keep the unanswered questions in him any longer.

“Young Master Wei, may I take a few minutes of your time?” he asked, running into him near the same pond they spoke at a few months back.

“Of course, Zewu-Jun. I am all ears,” answered Wei Wuxian and curiously peeked at Lan Xichen’s worried face.

“I wanted to speak to you about… Sect Leader Jiang. If you have nothing against it.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, Zewu-Jun, but doesn’t one of the Lan sect core rules prohibit discussing others behind their backs?” asked Wei Wuxian mockingly.

Lan Xichen barely ever felt like the rules of his sect were unfair or obliging them hindered him in any way, but it was really starting to become a much bigger problem when the outsiders knew of them as well.

“It looks like I have been exposed,” he said and let out a nervous laugh. “But if you know me well, Young Master Wei, you realize that I would not have asked, had it not been something of utmost importance.”

“That is true,” agreed Wei Wuxian. “I will answer your question with all honesty and I promise not to tell anyone of your secret,” he said and jokingly raised three fingers as if taking an oath.

“Very well. Did something happen to Sect Leader…” Lan Xichen stopped mid-sentence and shook his head – no, that was not it. “Did I do anything to Sect Leader Jiang?” he tried again. “Did I say something insulting? Was it that he considered some of my actions unacceptable for some reason?”

Wei Wuxian frowned in an exaggerated manner and put a finger to his lips.

“I cannot think of anything Zewu-Jun could possibly do to offend Jiang Cheng, only the other way around. What makes Zewu-Jun think something like that has ever happened?”

Lan Xichen sighed. There was no other possibility for him to get the answer he so desperately needed other than sharing his observations. It was incredibly hard for him to partake in a conversation of this sort, but he managed to persuade himself that he was doing it for the greater good.

“I noticed how Sect Leader Jiang was looking at me. It might be nothing and I might worry for no reason, but I felt like he was deeply insulted by my mere presence. He just looked so enraged and unhappy. It happened a few times, and each time I felt the same resentment coming from him. Unfortunately, I cannot arrive at any conclusion as to what makes him behave like this without any help from the outside.”

“So, Sect Leader Lan is telling me that Jiang Cheng has been staring at him constantly, looking like he is on the edge of bursting?” concluded briefly Wei Ying.

Lan Xichen did not answer as this paraphrasing of what he had said seemed too crude to agree to.

“Well,” blurted Wie Wuxian, not really needing any answer at all, and stuffed his mouth with a bunch of lotus seeds before continuing, “then he must have fancied you.”

“I beg your pardon?” asked Lan Xichen dumbfoundedly. Wei Wuxian found it incredibly amusing and thought that never before had he seen the leader of the Gusu Lan sect having such an odd expression on his face.

“I said that he had taken a liking to Zewu-Jun,” he explained, taking pity on his interlocutor. “But he is probably so undecisive in his attraction that he just struggles with it all the time, and it is reflected in his appearance.”

“But…” stumbled Lan Xichen, failing to finish his utterance.

“He has always been like that as a child – too proud to go the easy way. Always pretends not to care for something he wants for himself so that others would not notice his weakness. Some people just prefer to suffer, I guess. Although, I must admit, never before have I seen him this agitated about something.”

“But…” ventured Lan Xichen again, but still wasn’t able to find any suitable words.

“But what do I know?” laughed suddenly Wei Wuxian. “I haven’t been beside him for so many years, it’s not like he couldn’t have changed during this time, right?”

Lan Xichen did not know if he was to protest or quietly sigh at such a remark.

“Please, Sect Leader Lan, disregard what I said if it makes you feel better. In any case, there is no person that can give you the right answer apart from Jiang Cheng himself, so if he is not talking… You can always make him,” said Wei Wuxian instructively and grinned.

Lan Xichen stood silently and kept looking at Wei Wuxian who was still nonchalantly stuffing his mouth with peeled lotus seeds. He had heard his every word but still somehow felt as if nothing made sense to him. He was confused, but very quickly his confusion started to evolve into something else, something restless and almost raging. All this time he was worried sick that he somehow offended Jiang Cheng, that he was careless enough to say or do something unforgivable, something that made this person hate him so much that it was difficult for Jiang Cheng to be in the same room with him. He would certainly have called this situation ridiculous, had he not spent so many hours contemplating on his own attitude and behaviour because of all this.

“Just give it a try,” said Wei Ying, tired of Lan Xichen standing there, unable to utter a word to him, and pointed to the entrance to the great hall. “He’s in his quarters now, reading one of the books Sect Leader Lan gave him.”

Lan Xichen thought that he would try. There was no point in beating around the bush anymore. After all, he wasn’t sure if he should believe Wei Wuxian. On the one hand, he would gain absolutely nothing by lying about this, on the other hand though, he could still not be trusted so easily. The only natural solution to this problem was speaking to Jiang Cheng, and Lan Xichen already regretted not having done it earlier. Maybe, it would’ve made his life much, much easier.

Not stopping for any distractions on his way, he rushed inside to find Jiang Cheng and finally clarify the relationships between them. He was in such a hurry that he even forgot to thank Wei Wuxian for his help which was something the latter one never expected would happen.

His heart skipped a beat when he finally came across Jiang Cheng’s figure resting with a book in his hand in his private chambers. He took a few deep breaths, seemingly being able to calm down considerably, and entered without even a knock or a cough.

“Sect Leader Jiang,” he thundered, startling Jiang Cheng, “I came here to talk. I hope you will be able to spare me a minute of your time as I consider the topic I want to discuss to be of great significance.”

Jiang Cheng threw a puzzled glance at him, but still closed his book and carefully put it away. He would’ve agreed to whatever Zewu-Jun wanted to do anyway, but seeing him so agitated really convinced him it was a matter that was not to be taken lightly.

“Of course. Whatever it is that Sect Leader Lan wanted to discuss, I will be glad to provide my assistance and insight,” he replied and motioned for Lan Xichen to sit down with him, but Xichen couldn’t be less bothered by that, so he remained standing.

“It is about the feelings of a certain person present in the room. Lately I’ve been experiencing… difficulties understanding them, so I decided to come and ask directly. Please, tell me, Sect Leader Jiang, what do you think of me? I cannot help but become frustrated with your behaviour and… find myself cornered. Is there, perhaps, something you would like to tell me? Something, that would make it all clear to me? I just find continuing like this… really hard.”

Immediately after saying that Lan Xichen felt easier already. Even though he did not yet get any explanation whatsoever, venting about the feeling of frustration that accompanied him for quite some time now made his head clearer and his heart lighter. Now he only needed to hear what Jiang Cheng had to tell him, and everything would fall back on its places, everything would be easy and definite for him, just the way it should be.

Jiang Cheng’s shoulders suddenly curved forward. With a brooding expression overtaking his face, he fixed his eyes at the book on the table and thought that it was all over for him. Nothing would be the same anymore, no matter how hard he tried.

“I am sorry, Sect Leader Lan…” he began, and Lan Xichen already got his hopes up only for them to be shattered by his next words. “I really have nothing to say. It pains to hear me that you felt this way for some reason, but I have nothing to share with you. Now, if you don’t mind…”

All the lightness disappeared from Lan Xichen’s chest. The energy that was flowing out of him suddenly got tied in a tight knot, and he thought that it really was unbearable. Dealing with such a person, constantly guessing what was on their mind, trying to piece together what they told you and what they displayed on their face… One had to be in possession of a constant supply of patience and understanding to be able to put up with it. He realized that he probably wasn’t the one capable of that.

“Jiang Wanyin! Do you think I will not know what you have on your mind if you do not speak up?” he thundered, looking Jiang Cheng straight in the eyes. There was no other way for him to proceed, at least he saw none at the moment when he decided to raise his voice.

Jiang Cheng’s eyes rounded at first, but then screwed as he smiled almost mischievously. He almost felt like letting out a grin despite the situation he was in seemingly being quite serious.  

Lan Xichen immediately regretted asserting himself and tried to retreat. Under Jiang Cheng’s mocking glance, he did not know where to hide, and the tips of his ears reddened a bit from embarrassment for how he behaved. Hearing his own voice being so loud and forceful when addressing somebody who probably also struggled with their thoughts and feelings for some time, he immediately became upset and realized that he shouldn’t have poured everything that he had on his mind with little to no consideration about the effect it would produce.

“I… I did not mean to say it like that, Sandu Sengshou. Please, forgive me,” he muttered and pinched his lips.

Jiang Cheng produced a few harsh laughs and tilted his head to the side, derisive attitude not disappearing from his posture. It was surprising how fast he could go from upset to self-righteous with almost no effort.

“Oh, please, Sect Leader Lan, do not ruin my impression of you with apologies. Seeing this side of you is not something many can brag about. How can I even be mad?” he asked in a frivolous way. He thought many times about how this conversation would go, and he had no doubts that it would take place someday, but not even once did he imagine such an involved reaction from Lan Xichen’s side. Everything was not happening as he had expected and it made him feel excitement mixed with a pinch of fright in regards to what could follow next.

The blush from Lan Xichen’s ears slowly crawled to his face. For a person like him it was a completely disaster, losing control over himself in such a manner.

“Nevertheless, I am truly sorry for using your courtesy name so carelessly when I did not have the right to do it. For us to be even, the only thing I can do is tell you mine, so that you could also-”

“Lan Huan,” said Jiang Cheng hoarsely, purposefully interrupting Lan Xichen and thoroughly articulating every syllable. “Here you go,” he added, delighted at Lan Xichen’s confused face. “I also said it, now Zewu-Jun does not have to worry about being disrespectful.”

After the man before him called him by his courtesy name, hearing “Zewu-Jun” again felt strange to Lan Xichen. Realizing that, he said, almost whispering, “It sounded good.” Everything started to make sense for him suddenly. It turned out that this whole time Jiang Cheng was not the only one perplexed and unable to express what he was feeling.

A smug smile slowly faded from Jiang Cheng’s face. Light pink covered his cheeks, and he sat there, completely lost.

“What?” he finally managed to mumble, frowning to hide his own daze now.

“You calling my name,” said Lan Xichen quietly, beginning to understand. It was probably still a long road for them to go, but with him now having a vague idea of what he wanted to hear and what he wanted to say in return, it would undoubtedly become an easier journey for both of them.

“Lan… Huan?” ventured Jiang Cheng again, this time not confident at all.

“Yes?”

“I thought, maybe we could… practice playing the xiao together?” asked Jiang Cheng carefully. The instrument gifted to him by Lan Xichen was lying in its box on a special display in his chambers.

If it was how he tried to escape the topic, thought Lan Xichen, then it was quite an entertaining attempt. Not that there was even the slightest chance it would work, though, no. He just found it somehow sweet, and so decided to play along, not to rob his interlocutor of his temporary safe harbour.

“Have you already given a name to it?” he asked with sincere interest in his voice.

“I have not. But I also thought… if I continue to do everything the same way I did, nothing will ever change for me,” said Jiang Cheng, and Lan Xichen immediately realized that there had to be more to his words. He also realized he had been standing this whole time, so he hurried to sit down and stop trying to intimidate Jaing Cheng with his erect posture.

“And you want something to change?” he asked gingerly.

“I think so.”

Lan Xichen almost wanted to go ahead and ask what exactly Jiang Cheng had on his mind, but it took him too long to gain the courage for it, so Jiang Cheng spoke again.

“Will you help me find a suitable name for the xiao?” he asked in such a voice as though it was something he had been wanting to ask for a very long time.

“What makes you think I am the right person to ask?”

Jiang Cheng threw a quick unreadable glance at him before shaking his head and turning away.

“…It is nothing, I will do it myself.”

“I do not refuse!” said Lan Xichen, perhaps, more eagerly than he would want to admit. “I am just… curious.”

“I cannot say it,” answered Jiang Cheng, still carefully examining the wall.

“Why?”                      

Lan Xichen felt his heart pounding like never before. He was afraid to admit that he hoped for some specific outcome of this conversation. The atmosphere became so peculiar and tense that he simply did not know how to calm himself down anymore.

“It might change everything for me,” said Jiang Cheng quietly.

“Didn’t you say you wanted something to change, Jiang Wanyin?” asked Lan Xichen. For some reason, he couldn’t stop himself from being persistent in his inquiries.

Jiang Cheng sighed uneasily and frowned again as if overcoming some internal struggles.

“Why is it that you have to suddenly be so pushy today?” he asked, trying to avoid giving any direct answer again.

“I thought you liked it when I was like this,” said Lan Xichen, feeling the wave of heat hitting his cheeks. It was a new feeling to him, wanting to say something like that despite his mind doing its best to prevent him from doing that.

“Mn,” only let out Jiang Cheng.

“Will you answer me?”

“No,” said Jiang Cheng, shaking his head. He stood up and turned away. He felt like his face was burning. He could neither stop this conversation nor suffer through it, so made a decision to go for the door in a very foolish and desperate attempt to escape the room and flee to the corridor which was flooded with people among whom he would feel safe again.

“Why is it that you suddenly turn out to be such a coward?” asked Lan Xichen with a tone of minor annoyance in his voice and grabbed Jiang Cheng by his wrist, reaching out over the table.

Jaing Cheng clenched his fists and stopped.

“I am many things, but I am not a coward,” he said resolutely.

Lan Xichen took away his hand, fearing he had already overdone it and wounded Jiang Cheng’s pride. During those few seconds he held his wrist, he felt a quickened pulse, as quick as his own, beating under tense skin.

“Why don’t you face me when we are conversing?” he asked, trying to make Jaing Cheng stay and bring it all to a least some sort of conclusion.

“I thought the talk was already over,” uttered Jiang Cheng, but still did what Zewu-Jun wanted him to.

“Do you remember what I told you earlier?” asked Lan Xichen.

“That it pleases you when I call you by your name?” asked Jiang Cheng in return. He had to force himself to say that, of course, but he simply could not remain the only one cornered because he had to listen to something that was so embarrassing for him.

“N-no, not that,” stumbled Lan Xichen and sighed, covering his forehead and eyes with his hand. “I said that even if you didn’t say what was on your mind aloud, I would still know.”

Jiang Cheng had a vague idea of where that knowledge could come from, but decided not to voice his suppositions. It was no use bringing it up now, he would still not escape the problematic topic and only enrage himself.

“If you already know, then what else do you expect me to say? Maybe, you just also find making fun of me amusing?”

“You might have noticed that I am not laughing. And I would not call your behaviour amusing at all,” answered Lan Xichen with a truly straight face.

“Then what would you call it?”

“Charming.”

As abruptly as it came, all the arrogance disappeared from Jiang Cheng’s demeanor and he silently gasped, not knowing how to react or where to hide from Lan Xichen’s gaze. He would give everything to be in his yard, training his disciples, or in the forest, stalking a prey with his nephew. He would take anything, but not this.

“I… I do not know what we are talking about anymore,” he honestly admitted. He was perplexed at how they arrived here, trying to remember how such a conversation could have started.

Lan Xichen unfastened the clarity bell from his waist and displayed it on the palm of his hand on the table for Jiang Cheng to see.

“We are talking about your feelings,” he said more calmly. He realized he had to take the situation into his own hands or else they would never be able to resolve what they both got into. “If you really have nothing to say to me right now, then you can take this bell back.”

“And then what?” asked Jiang Cheng, expecting the worst.

“Nothing, I will just give it back to you. That is all.”

“But it was my gift to you,” muttered Jiang Cheng and Lan Zewu-Jun noticed how hurt he sounded.

“How should I know? You did not give it to me,” he shrugged his shoulders.

“But I… ugh.”

Jiang Cheng gritted his teeth. He could not say that he left the bell there for him and intentionally did not come, hoping that Jin Ling would do all the talking for him. There was really no way out for him anymore.

“It was me who carved it. A certain person once taught me how to do it, so I… I carved it for you. That is why I want you to keep it,” he finally admitted, realizing how funny and unnatural being so honest with someone felt.  

“Thank you. For the bell, and for telling me,” said Lan Xichen and bowed slightly. He attached the bell back where it belonged with a look of contentment as if he did not want anything else.

“That is all?” asked Jiang Cheng. He unwillingly expected that he would have to say… more than that.

“All that I needed to hear,” nodded Lan Xichen.

He reached to the back of his head, where his forehead ribbon entwined with his hair, and untied it, letting it slide.

Jiang Cheng shook his head in disbelief and slowly backed away from the table. Before, it was all just talking, but now he knew how serious it was. He was absolutely not ready to bear the burden of such a responsibility.

“No, I cannot… I cannot…” he mumbled.

“What?” asked Lan Xichen as if completely oblivious to what was happening.

“I cannot… touch it.”

Lan Xichen smiled amiably and laid the ribbon on the table between them. Seeing him exclusively with his forehead ribbon on, Jiang Cheng felt almost uncomfortable looking at him without it, as if it was something too personal, like watching a person bathing. There was no drastic change in his appearance, of course, but something about him still seemed different.

“I made you feel vulnerable, and now I understand that. This is my way of showing you that I realize that and am willing to endure it with you. But it doesn’t mean I am going to let you touch the ribbon,” explained Zewu-Jun.

Jiang Cheng felt his body relax. He suddenly felt very light, but also very empty, as if something abandoned his chest without him agreeing to it. He quietly exhaled.

“I see,” he only uttered in return.

“…As that you will have to earn first,” added Lan Xichen. He tried hard to stay serious, but his lips involuntarily curved into a smile.

Jiang Cheng opened his mouth, but could not say anything. A peculiar mixture of emotion displayed on his face as he was trying hard to figure out if it was him understanding the occurrences correctly or just his wishful thinking tricking him into believing that.

He rose up from the floor yet again, his chest heaving. His eyes were staring intently at Lan Xichen and his top lip twitched a few times. Lan Xichen felt that it was almost the same look that haunted him previously, threatening, aggressive, unpredictable. But it wasn’t scary at all. Charming was still what he thought of it.

Jiang Cheng bent down with determination in his every movement, grabbed Lan Xichen by the lapels of his robes and leaned in for a kiss. He could not tolerate that smile on his face and that confidence in his words. He still felt like he was teased and ridiculed, and so he grabbed the lapels tighter, almost pulling Lan Xichen up from his seat. Their teeth clanked a couple of times because of Jiang Cheng’s vigour, but he did not even care. His only concern was the emotions that he was not able to get rid of for so long, so he clung to Zewu-Jun as if it was the last time he saw him.

When the latter one managed to steady his position in Jiang Cheng’s grip, he slowly stood up, trying to use the fact that he was a bit taller than the leader of the Jiang sect as an advantage, even though the table between them remained quite an obstacle.

He finally made up his mind and touched the side of Jiang Cheng’s pale face with his fingers. He caressed it lightly and moved his hand further, passing the ear and the braid that was neatly stuck into the bun on the back of his head. He touched the ink-black hair airily a few times, as if afraid to ruin the perfect hair-do. His heart was loudly pounding in his ears. He put his other hand on Jiang Cheng’s waist and slowly pulled him closer.  

Feeling the grip on his side, Jiang Cheng sprung away from Lan Xichen as if electrocuted. He adjusted his clothes nervously and laid his hand on the side of the neck, avoiding direct eye contact.

“You…”

“My hand slipped. I am sorry,” muttered Zewu-Jun, a bit disappointed that everything ended as suddenly as it had begun. Sorry was the last thing that he was now.

Jiang Cheng pouted either at what had happened or at how shamelessly Lan Xichen tried to lie to him.

“Isn’t Sect Leader Lan late to Cloud Recess?” he asked with indignation in his voice. “I am sure the Gusu Lan disciples are already waiting ardently for his return.

Lan Xichen closed the distance between them in a few swift steps. There was no table to separate them anymore, and he found himself not even caring if somebody walked in on them right now as he slid both of his hands on Jiang Cheng’s waist, drawing him closer.

“Right now, I have some more pressing matters to attend to. I am sure they will understand,” he whispered and leaned for another kiss.

[maggyme13]

Sugar (6/?)

AN: Here is the next part. What do you think will happen now? WIll Loki relent, or will he stay the asshole he was?

Wordcount: around 16000

Warnings: I think not

Masterlist

Sugar- Masterlist

Sugar 5

Wearily you stepped into the mentioned bath.

The floor was laid out with dark wooden planks; Tub (inset for half its depth in the floor, filled with steaming water) and sink made of black marble with silver inlays.

With fearful eyes you looked around for any hint that Mr Laufeyson had lied, but you couldnt spot any electrical devices apart from the lights in the ceiling.

Finally you found it to be save and started stripping off the offending clothes starting with the shoes and String; the dress would wait until you had entered the water. It was sad for the fabric, but you did not feel well otherwise.

Emerging yourself under the water, you realized the water to have the perfect temperature and once you had peeled off the once beautiful dress, you began scrubbing your skin to get rid of the ugly feeling the man left behind on your body.

Skin raw and water cold you were almost satisfied with the state of your body. You then grabbed a (huge) soft towel to dryddd and returned to Mr Laufeyson´s Bedroom where you found your most comfortable clothes laid out on the bed. After one last glance around, you quickly got dressed.

It was then that an intoxicating scent entered your nose and both your brain and stomach realized how hungry you were in reality.

Pizza? He got Pizza?

__

“Feeling better?”, Mr Laufeysond asked once you had entered the living-area.

“Yes, thank you.”, you nodded, looking at the scene in front of you:

The whole kitchen was filled with pizza-cartons of all different sizes with different pizzas in it.

WTF?!

“I did not know which one you liked, so I ordered one of every kind I have heard of.”, he explained with a sorry look in his eyes, “Eat whatever you like.”

Hesitant you searched for your favorite kind and took a bite; it tasted wonderfully and for a little moment you were able to forget why you were there.

“It is time for me to explain, right?”, the man breathed, his eyes first cast to the floor only to move to the ceiling before settling on yours, awaiting your approval.

“I am what people call a Dominant. I like being in control. But what I like and need just as much is to take care of people; that they are depending on me . You may call it me a Sugar Daddy, if you have ever heard of it.”

“I don´t understand- Does that mean, you like forcing people to follow your every order, and to have nothing? You enjoy the suffering of others, just so you can play the knight in shiny armour?”, you hissed, your fists balled in anger.

“No- and yes. Usually this arrangement is made in both sides consent. The Sugarbaby gets monthly or weekly allowance, presents or getting things payed for. In the meantime, she offers her Daddy favors like joining him to dinners, parties, holidays and other things-”

“-like sex?”, you finished his sentence in shock.

“Yes, like sex or other sexual favors. But listen, before you panic, there are borders set- not negotiable boarders .”

“NO- nonononononono. So I am a glorified whore?”, you broke with a sob.

“NO! As I said, these things are made in consent of both sides. I would and will not ask that from you, or anyone else, without being 100 percent sure it is what they want as well.”

Tears streamed down your face when you spoke again, “ Then why threatening me in the first time.”

“You would not have accepted any help if I had offered, right? It is part and job of a good Sugardaddy, or any Dominant in particular, to know what is best for his Baby or Submissive. Even if they don´t or do not want to know it.”, he continued,”After I had kicked you out Bucky and Sam asked me if I had seen you. They told me what had happened and I realized my mistake. When I med you again, I decided to act. I admit I thought you to act and turn out like the others. I tried to make you show your real side . I failed in realizing you are who you are not not pretending to be someone else. If you want: you can leave. No police and you will never see me again. I will arrange for you to move towns of you wish. But my offer stands. You will join me at functions, dinner and lunch or other things. In return you keep your allowance, your  rooms and everything you already have at the moment. No sex or any sexual favors unless you offer them on your own. I can arrange for you to work a few hours if it makes you feel better. Your own apartment. Think about it. In the meantime I leave you alone and will stay somewhere else until you have decided. Just let Pietro or one of the others know when you are finished. The leftovers will be given to people living on the streets. Let me know how you decide. Until then this apartment is yours. Just, please do not go through my things.”, the man nodded almost submissively, before leaving you alone.

With the men´s words still lingering in your mind, you ate as much as you were able to , before sending Bucky a quick ´Thank you` and retiring into your room.

You settled onto your bed, no noises around you (except the one time when Bucky or Pietro must have entered to take the leftovers away), but sleep was evading you with everything running through your mind.

In the end, you called your aunt for advice. She knew you better than you knew yourself sometimes, and she was the only one (next to your mom) you had still contact with at home.

“So, you got this offer as a PA. It requires you to move into the same house as your boss. Join him at functions and other things for  15k a month? And you don´t know if you want to, because he was an huge asshole at the beginning and you feel like selling yourself? Do I understand  that right?”, her gentle voice repeated what you had just told her over the phone.

“Yes.”

“Furthermore your asshole boyfriend left you the day before you were supposed to move in with him, and on top of that you lost your job, because someone with a gun was robbing your workplace?”

“Yes.”, you sighted, hearing it made it all sound even worse.

“One last Question: is he good looking?”

“I. I guess.”, you answered and were able to see the smirk she must have on her face that second through the phone.

“Then go for it. Put enough money aside , in case you need to quit, and enjoy it as long as it lasts. God knows you always work hard and care of others. Now care for yourself. Your Ma would say the same.”

“Hows her cancer?”

“The same. And now with your brother in Jail again- But enough of that depressing stuff.”, your aunt sighted.

“I will send you-”

“-nothing. My sister won´t accept a penny and you know that. The lot of you is just too stubborn for your own good.”

“Then at least let me give you money for me while I lived with you. Please-”

“Fine. But not more than 500 s month-”

“-a week-”

“Fine. As stubborn as the rest of us.”, she laughed ,” Love you munchkin. And stay strong in that big city of yours.”

“Love you, too Aunty. Call you once I have made a decision. And hug Ma from me.”

“Always. See you later.”

With your thoughts sorted, sleep stopped evading you and within minutes you had drifted into a deep slumber.

____

Your eyes sticky, you slumped into the kitchen, with your whole body still tired from the evening prior.

Fresh fruits and and different kinds of freshly baked goods (like bread rolls and croissants) greeted you the second you placed foot into it.

You knew Mr Laufeyson was behind this.

Shewing on a bite of bun with cheese topping , you typed a Message the owner of the Apartment and hit send.

´I made a decision. I will accept your offer, if I have your word to be allowed to change my mind at any second; without repercussions.´

It took less than a minute for him to answer: ´Of course. Pietro will bring you to my office once you are finished with your breakfast.´

You answered with a quick ,´okay. What should I wear?´

´Whatever you like and is suitable for an office.´- came his reply and your forehead almost hit the top of the table you were sitting at.

Office-friendly. Office-friendly. Let´s see if I can find anything in that closet of mine. I though with all that cloth-missing stuff in there that might turn out hard. Urg. I will need to go shopping. I hate that.

To your little surprise, did you find a pair of skinny jeans, a simple black t-shirt and a black strick-jacket.

This might work. Better than nothing I guess.

A knock sounded from the door between the floor and your room.

“(y/n), this is me, Bucky.”

“Come in.”, you called back and he did as you had told.

“How are you feeling?”, he asked at once, his voice warm but sad.

“Better, thank you. Again.”, you smiled.

“No, you should not thank me. I should apologize. If I had done my job correctly-”, he started though was interrupted by you at once.

“Stop. Just- just don´t let it happen again, okay?”, you hummed, “I am not mad with you.”

“I can do that. I am here to escort you to the boss.”

“Okay. Lead the way.”

Part 7

AN2.0 How will this turn our for the reader? And will her family make an appreance again in later chapters?

REBLOGS and comments are appreciated:)

Thank you very much.

~MaggY

Taglists:

Permanent:

@jadepc​@pacifyhxlsey​ @thankyoukarenclifford​

@thankyouforanonymity​  @punkrockhufflefluff​

@scarletraine @buckycaptspideypool  @markusstraya @graveyard-groupie @markusstrayya @randomgirlkensy @the-soulofdevil

@marshyrebelcloud

MCU:

@yknott81​    @banner-and-bucky-are-life​ @forext20​ @dyanlzbb​  @so-finster-die-nacht @emmii4​ @bitchwhytho​ @ladyofmyst​   @jilldsumner​ @momc95​ @appreciating-fanfics​

Sugar:

@bits-and-bobs-and-kawaii-stuffs @mimmie666​   @fullranchwolfoperator

@cluelessnitwhit​ @youknowitsclouds @his-paradox @purplerainharry​

@spootgaai2000 @iamsuperjenna​ @nikkipea​   @alexakeyloveloki @timelordy-fangirl2 @girrafeeeeeee

I couldnt tag a few of you… sorry.

Want to get tagged as well? Comment, Reblog or send an ask to let me know.

[swifterm]

Top 10 Courier Companies in the USA and Canada

The growth of courier industry in the USA is directly proportional to the growth of economic progress of the country. One of the first courier companies in the USA was Wells Fargo in 1852 which operated in the unorganised sector.

Much water has flown through Mississippi and Missouri since then. The courier industry in the USA stands at 109 billion $ in 2019 growing at a rate of around 5% since last six years.

It is expected to grow up to a whopping 400 billion $ in the next 4 to 5 years at a compounded growth rate of 8% on a conservative estimate.

The Courier Companies List

10. Pace Couriers

Based at Alabama, their office is operational 24 x 7. The company has a chain of ground transportation logistics system which is customised depending upon the client’s needs. The channel logistics team of the organisation works in perfect tandem with the client team for optimum output and deliveries.

The main focus of the courier is now into servicing the retail trade as retail is very fast becoming an important area of growth in USA.

Very recently it has inaugurated a 16000 square feet warehouse at North Carolina.  Pace already has undertaken a CSR initiative called Pace Foundation to serve the larger community.  

https://pacecourierservice.com

9. Transportes Pitic

The organization was formed in 1973 at Mexico and has a concrete presence in transportation and distribution since then. An excellent shipping process coupled with punctual deliveries and very well managed logistics management has earned the company a great affinity amongst its clients and the industry.

The company mainly services retail, pharmaceuticals and healthcare, manufacturing and automotive industry.

Transportes Pitic also has undertaken a massive CSR campaign to serve the community in its areas of operation.

https://www.transportespitic.com

8. Spee Dee Delivery Service

Two main strategies that the Minnesota based courier company epitomises are speed and pricing both of which are very important factors today. It has got extraordinary ground delivery services with focus in Midwest of the country.

In some cases the deliveries are completed the next day itself. The company claims that with their smaller operational ambit they perform and deliver better than the usual big players in the industry.

The rates offered are very competitive and the services are tailor made according to the client’s requirement.  

As a market penetration strategy, the company offers less than truckload delivery, on call pick-up and pick-up tag service which is unique in their respective aspects.

https://speedeedelivery.com

7. Dicom Canada

Established in 1968 and operating from Montreal, Dicom is one of the largest couriers in North America. The company has been acquired by General Logistics system in 2018.

The client’s list includes small organizations as well as Fortune 500 companies. The company fleet operates cross border from Canada to the US and vice versa with full truckload and less than full truckload consignments.

Undoubtedly the sheet anchor of the company is the Regional Parcel Service famed nationally for its speed, precision, reliability and punctuality.

The tools that Dicom offers to its clients are smart 4 tracking, near perfect rate estimates and transit time calculator.

https://www.dicom.com/en/dicom/corp/home

6. LaserShip Inc

Established in 1986 with headquarters in Virginia, LaserShip specialises in picking up from the hub to the final destination of the consignment.

Focussing mainly in the Midwest and the Eastern parts of the country, LaserShip handles Amazon deliveries and in some cases, same day delivery. In 2018 the company was acquired by Green Briar Equity Group.

The courier has received certificates of appreciation and of full compliance from the ISCPO, the parent organisation of logistics management corporations in the USA .

The company is one of the best service providers in the e commerce segment and offers tailor made logistics for its esteemed clients.  

https://lasership.com  

5. TFI International

Established about 50 years back in Montreal, TFI is one of Canada’s largest couriers with a huge fleet of trucks. TFI’s US operations are also very big now possessing a massive fleet of more than 12000 trucks.

Over the years it has been making acquisitions and in 2010 took over Dallas based Dynamex thereby increasing its turnover manifold.

TFI has multiple divisions under its broad segments like truckloads, LTL, Package and courier, container transport and specialised services division operating in the energy sector with leading clientele.  

https://tfiintl.com/en/

4. OnTrac Inc.

Founded in 1991 and operating from Arizona, OnTrac targets the smaller businesses for its highly competitive rates and the services which is as good as professionally managed  larger courier companies. Their shipping hub is also based at Tennessee.

The company also provides overnight delivery at very economical rates in Washington, Idaho, Oregon, Nevada, California, Utah, and Colorado apart from Arizona.

The company is family owned and therefore it has a distinct advantage of delivering personalised touch in its operations.  

OnTrac clientele include a host of essential service providers, schools , colleges, Churches and fibre to the home  companies, or FTTH companies.  

https://on-trac.co.uk

3. Purolator

Headquartered in Ontario, Canada and established in 1967, the brand name is actually an abbreviation of the word “pure oil later” although it is now a purely courier company. Purolator has a business tie up with UPS for deliveries outside Canada.

The Ontario based   specialised cargo airline, Cargojet operates large bodied Boeing fleet for Purolator. The company has an enviable team of ground and air logistics with nearly 100% success rate of systematic and punctual deliveries along with service.

Purolator has activated “ Purotouch Advantage ”whereby each of its client gets  tailor made customized service with long and short term solutions of its issues if any.

https://www.purolator.com/en

2. FedEx

One of the largest express delivery services companies globally, FedEx originally known as Federal Express is operating in 220 countries globally maintaining punctuality, along with exemplary service.

Unmatched services along with logistics management, reliability coupled with superior transportation infrastructure gives FedEx the cutting edge in handling almost 4 million shipments daily. Headquartered at Brussels, the main hub of FedEx is at the De Gaulle international airport, Paris .

The 50 + aircrafts fleet like Boeing 777, Airbus , McDonnell Douglas  and 757 touchdown in at least 45 airports almost daily.

FedEx tracking is so meticulous and prompt that it is the second most popular service  after delivery.

https://www.fedex.com

1.UPS

United Parcel Service as the company is also known, is an American transnational corporation based at  Georgia. The forerunner to UPS was American Messenger Company formed in 1907.

After much changes the company was renamed United Parcel Service in 1919.During the course of all these years UPS has acquired a host of courier companies like TNT Express, Lynx Express etc.

It has a host of subsidiaries under it some of them being leaders in their own domain like UPS Stores, UPS Airways, UPS Capital, UPS Logistics, UPS  i- Parcel etc.

Last year UPS has got the approval of FAA the US Government Authority on aviation to fly drones for delivering health care commodities which is a milestone and a path breaking achievement for the courier giant.

https://www.ups.com/

We hope you enjoyed this article, intended to help improve our client’s profitability. It reflects the care SwiftERM offer. If you haven’t already done so, then please enjoy a FREE month’s trial and let us know what you think.

Register https://www.swifterm.com/top-10-courier-companies-in-the-usa-and-canada/