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watchingthesuperbowl · 6 years

Text

Notes taken during Super Bowl LII

KITTEN AND PUPPY BOWLS

Is this the first-ever Kitten Bowl to go to overtime? Tied at 28. Feline Manning throws deep. Macaroni grabs it in the end zone. Touchdown! 34-28 Panthers, final score.

I've never thought much of Feline Manning in the regular season, but you can't argue with his results in the Kitten Bowl.

There's a new Puppy Bowl stadium? This is embarrassing. The taxpayers are getting fleeced again.

OH HELL YES. THE REFEREE AT PUPPY BOWL IS A SLOTH.

Update: Puppy Bowl is tied at 14 after a quarter. It's anybody's game.

Dammit. Should have called it a pupdate.

Puppy Bowl is 24-21 in the second quarter. It's quickly becoming apparent that dogs can't play defense.

Pupdate: Fluff 28, Ruff 24. Presumably, we're deep into the second quarter.

Now it's 31-28 Ruff. Still in the second quarter. I'm sure Puppy Bowl XIV is on track to destroy the all-time record for total points scored in a single game.

Last second touchdown! Fluff pulls off a 52-47 win over Ruff!

PREGAME

Okay, I've got a beer, dinner is on its way, and I'm settling in to finish this project. The only reason I've finished this is that I'm a stubborn SOB. This hasn't been fun for about 6-7 months now.

A feature about Tom Brady's mom. She had cancer in 2016 and was only able to be at one of his games, Super Bowl LI. A nice story.

Oh, cool, now Dan Patrick asked Brady when he knew he could be great. It's no longer a heartwarming story about his mom, now it's about slurping on Brady.

Patrick comparing Brady to Michael Jordan. Brady says he doesn't think about that very often. Could never be compared to his childhood heroes.

Brady has no idea how he'll fill the void when he retires. Maybe coach his kids. He's happy his kids are old enough to see him play. His son didn't pick him in fantasy football. Took Cam Newton instead.

You know what NBC should do more of? Talk about Tom Brady. I wonder where they rank him on the all-time list.

Now it's a feature about the Eagles defense. Not a ton of big names, says Chris Long, but they have a bunch of good players.

And then they end it with more about Tom Brady. Good. More of that, please. I never get sick of it.

One thing I've noticed, in watching all these Super Bowls, is that the team with the better defense wins more often than you'd expect. If one team is offense-reliant and the other is defense-reliant, the defensive team wins a bunch of games. That would be the Eagles here.

Rodney Harrison: Patriots will run short passes and screen passes to avoid the Eagle pass rush.

Commercials. Zelle. Applebees has a quesadilla burger. George Washington crossing the Delaware Turnpike for Geico. Turbotax. Promo for a new NBC series, Good Girls. It's not about puppers, unfortunately. Promo for the Olympics.

NBC bumps in with a bunch of sound bites from Eagles and Patriots fans. The Patriots remain the worst. I hope this old guy gets to see an Eagles championship.

Rodney Harrison: Tom Brady gave me a hug, told me he loves me, and gave me a little wink. I've seen that wink before. That means he's going to have a big game.

Dungy and John Harbaugh talk about how loose and calm the Eagles seem. Harrison says the Patriots need to come out and start fast. Can't fall behind the Eagles like they did last year against Atlanta.

Harrison picks the Patriots. Harbaugh picks the Eagles, says they'll hold New England under 24. Dungy picks the Eagles, says he's fallen in love with Nick Foles. Dan Patrick doesn't pick anybody. It's good to be the host.

Commercials: HQ trivia. You can watch the game in Spanish on Universo. Local ad for Tim Hortons. Local ad for Columbus Cyberknife prostate cancer treatment. State Farm insurance. State of Ohio PSA saying you shouldn't drive drunk. YoutubeTV. The commercial for Youtube TV includes a bunch of NBC programming.

Time for the "Youtube TV kickoff show". Starts with a Carrie Underwood song. Great. This is where I need a fast forward button.

There's a rap breakdown in the middle of this Underwood song. They show Super Bowl legends including Roger Staubach during that part of the song. Staubach has been one of my absolute favorite players to watch in these Super Bowls, but he is the least "hip hop" person on earth.

Al Michaels: This is a league built for parity and the Patriots are on the cusp of their sixth championship in 17 years. Eagles have a history of success, but have never won a Super Bowl.

Cris Collinsworth: Everybody knows Tom Brady, but not Nick Foles. But Foles is capable of having a tremendous game. Had one of the greatest seasons in NFL history in 2013. Chip Kelly says you're welcome.

Commercials: A really long commercial for Mass Mutual that involves people singing a Pretenders song. Red Sparrow.

Eagles walk out to the field. NBC runs a montage of their players introducing themselves. "Donnie Bag of Bones Jones" is the punter.

Patriots now. "Chris Hogan, Penn State lacrosse." I wouldn't want to be associated with their football program either. (Also, he didn't play football in college.)

It's very clear very early who the fans in the stadium want to win. The Patriots are loudly booed as they take the field.

Commercials: Kraft, US Bank, Mercedes Benz, Terrell Owens for Pizza Hut, Winter Olympics Promo.

Walter Payton NFL Man of the Year Award. J.J. Watt, unsurprisingly. He did a ton of work to raise money for hurricane relief after Houston got leveled.

America The Beautiful. Leslie Odom Jr. I genuinely have no clue who this person is. He can sing, though. He nails it.

It turns out Leslie Odom Jr. played Aaron Burr in Hamilton. This would explain why I don't know who he is.

The Star Spangled Banner. Pink. She also nails it.

Commercials. I spaced out and may have missed one. The Quiet Place. Lionel Richie for TD Ameritrade. Big Mac.

Michaels: What's the most likely way the Eagles win this game? Collinsworth: The offensive line and defensive line. They need to be able to run the ball and they need to be able to pressure Brady without blitzing him. It's hard to imagine that this game could come down to anything other than Tom Brady.

Coin toss: Medal of Honor winners. Very cool. Herschel "Woody" Williams will toss the coin. Won the Medal of Honor for valor at the Battle of Iwo Jima in World War II.

The referee called him Willie Williams. Oof.

Now he called him Corporal Wilson.

Eagles call tails. It's heads. Patriots defer, Eagles will receive.

Michele Tafoya: Eagles coach Doug Pederson told Nick Foles "You're not Tom Brady. Be Nick."

Commercials. I spaced out again. Is there a new Jurassic Park movie? There was a thing for that. Also YouTube TV.

NBC bumps in from commercial with a bunch of sound bites from past Super Bowl heroes. Staubach, Namath, Hines Ward.

FIRST QUARTER

Okay, kickoff time

Line-drive kickoff. Clement takes it out to the 25.

First play, pass right to Agholor. 5 yard gain.

Agholor for 2 more yards on second down. Michaels says Foles completed 15 passes in a row at the end of the NFC championship game. It's 17 in a row now.

18 in a row. Foles buys time on third down and hits Alshon Jeffery for 15 yards or so.

Well, there's an incomplete pass. Torrey Smith can't come up with the ball on a 2nd and 12 downfield pass.

Smith more than makes up for the incompletion - goes up the ladder to make a 15 yard catch on 3rd and 12. Eagles approaching field goal range.

Eagles running a bunch of "RPO" plays. (Run-pass option.) Ajayi runs for six on first down. Next play is a screen pass to Corey Clement. Takes it to the New England 5. The Patriots were blitzing and got burned. First and goal.

2nd and goal from the 2. False start on tight end Zach Ertz. Ouch. Offensive penalties inside the 5 are brutal.

Yep, that false start penalty was a killer. After incomplete passes on second down and third down, the Eagles will attempt a field goal.

Got it. A chip shot field goal ends a 14-play game opening drive. 3-0 Eagles. NBC bumps out to commercial with "The Underdog" by Spoon, which is cool.

Commercials: Toyota supports the Paralympics. Sprint has a Westworld parody

Eagles kick off. It's a touchback. Then more commercials.

Commercials: Solo, a Star Wars story. With Donald Glover! Nothing brings it down quite like Dr. Oz in the next commercial. Ugh. Go away. Turkish Airlines. He is Turkish, so there's that. Promo for a new show called Rise. Looks like a musical. Great.

Stop me if you've heard this before. Brady completes a short, outside pass to James White for a first down. 15 yards. Next play is a pass to James White. Because all he does is catch passes in the Super Bowl. That play's wiped out after a 12 men on the field penalty on the defense.

Brady to Chris Hogan underneath, coming across the middle, for a gain of 28. They're inside the Philadelphia 30. Next play is an end around to Hogan for four yards.

Brady to Gronkowski coming across the middle. Another completion, another first down at the 14.

Oh, hey, it's a completion to James White. Gains six yards, down to the 8.

NBC is using a white line to mark the line of scrimmage which is horrible and I hate it. I can't tell which is the line of scrimmage and which is the 10 yard line. Brady throws behind Gronk on third down and the Patriots settle for a Gostkowski field goal attempt.

Yup. 26 yard field goal for Gostkowski. 3-3, late first quarter.

Commercials: Bud Light with a Dilly Dilly ad that I've seen before. M&Ms. The red M&M turns into Danny Devito, who walks down the streets of New York asking if people want to eat him. Promo for the halftime show. Justin Timberlake. Winter Olympics promo.

Kenjon Barner with a decent kickoff return. Kenjon is my dude. Thrilled that he's had an NFL career. Incredibly cool guy.

Big, big run for another Duck, LaGarrette Blount. 36 yard rumble into New England territory. Collinsworth says the Patriots asked Blount to take a pay cut, he said no, and went to the Eagles.

TOUCHDOWN! Foles deep to Alshon Jeffery, who makes an incredible grab in the end zone.

Ugh, they blew the extra point. 9-3 Eagles.

A good article about Barner. He studied, among other things, ballet dancing at Oregon.

Commercials: Ram trucks, Wendy's. Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.

HEY, JEFFERY. NICE CATCH, JEFFERY.

youtube

Commercials: A Hulu show from Stephen King and J.J. Abrams. Heroes Arena mobile game. Olympics promo.

The Patriots look very human at this point. Which, yeah, it's the first quarter of the Super Bowl. Gronk false start, Brady overshoots Hogan, and it's 3rd and 7.

Hey, you guys? You might want to cover Danny Amendola. Amendola is wide open deep and Brady hits him. First down at the Philadelphia 29.

Collinsworth: Eagles defense led the league in highest percentage of threes-and-out in the regular season, but they're struggling with New England's fast-paced offense.

First quarter ends. Philadelphia 9, New England 3.

Commercials: Peter Dinklage for Doritos. Morgan Freeman for Mountain Dew Ice. Both are lip-synching rap songs. David Harbour for Tide. Skyscraper starring Dwayne Johnson.

289 yards of total offense in the first quarter between the two teams.

SECOND QUARTER

Third down, Brandin Cooks on a jet sweep. Tries to jump over a tackler but can't get that done.

New England botches a field goal attempt. Holder drops the ball, Gostkowski has to stop, then start, then drills it into the left upright. Big break for Philadelphia.

Foles with a nice move to avoid a sack on third and long. Probably could run for a first down but throws to Ertz. Incomplete. Donnie Bag of Bones Jones to punt.

Fair catch at the 37.

Commercials: Another Dilly Dilly ad for Bud Light. ETrade. A movie. I was looking away. Mission Impossible? Is there one of those? Olympics promo. After the game, "This is Us".

Brady to Cooks downfield for 23. Gets absolutely annihilated by Malcolm Jenkins and he's not moving. There was a bit of helmet-to-helmet contact. Commercial time.

Commercials: Rocket Mortgage. Avocados from Mexico. The Cloverfield Paradox.

We're back from commercial. Cooks has been taken to the locker room. There was no penalty on the hit because he was a runner and not defenseless.

Third down, the Patriots run a reverse/throwback play, a pass to Tom Brady. Incomplete - Brady dropped the ball. They go for it on 4th and 5 from the 35. Incomplete pass. Turnover on downs.

Commercials. Diet Coke with Mango, Jeep, Tide, WeatherTech. Halftime show promo.

Michaels: Patriots DB Malcolm Butler has played zero defensive snaps today. The team says it's "a coach's decision".

Foles downfield to Zach Ertz, First down at the New England 43.

Great throw and catch from Foles to Jeffery downfield. 22 yard gain.

Next play, LaGarrette Blount! Blows through the defense for a 21 yard touchdown. 15-3 Eagles. They go for two, which I absolutely hate. Incomplete pass. It's still 15-3.

Commercials: Pringles. Febreze. Chris Pratt for Michelob Ultra.

Anyway, back to the "going for two" thing. I wouldn't do it until I absolutely had to. The second quarter is not that time.

NBC graphic: Most championships by a coach/QB combo: Belichick-Brady and Lombardi-Starr are tied with five.

Cutaways: Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez. Mike Trout, who Al Michaels calls a California Angel. Missed it by a couple decades, Al.

Big play from Brady to Burkhead. A screen pass - he nearly breaks it for a touchdown. Gets it to the Eagles' 29.

Third and 8, the Eagles completely blow up a screen pass with backfield penetration. Brady throws it away. Gostkowski kicks a 45 yard field goal. 15-6. And that's why you kick the extra point. A ten point lead is so much better than a nine-point lead.

Um, hello? The screen has gone black. I don't know what just happened. No commercials. They go back to the stadium after 10-15 seconds.

Tafoya: Brandin Cooks will not return. He has a "head injury". Patriots now have a total of three wide receivers available.

Michaels: Foles nearly retired when he was released by the Rams. Decided there was only one coach he'd play for, Andy Reid of the Chiefs. Reid wanted him.

Collinsworth: I love what Nick Foles is doing. When the Patriots blitz, he's throwing the ball to the area vacated by the blitzer.

Big run from Ajayi on third and 4. Inside handoff, looks like he's in trouble, and he bursts through the hole to the New England 43.

Huge break for the Patriots. Alshon Jeffery makes a one-handed catch downfield inside the 10 but the ball squirts loose, hits him on the other hand, and bounces to a New England defensive back for an interception.

Commercials: Squarespace, Dodge Ram uses a Martin Luther King speech to sell trucks, which is unbelievably gross.

Gross.

Brady deep to Chris Hogan inside the 30. Next play, James White breaks about eight thousand tackles on a 26 yard touchdown run. Patriots doing Patriots things right before the half.

Gostkowski blows the extra point. 15-12 Eagles as we hit the two minute warning.

Nope.

Huge play for the Eagles on third and 3. Corey Clement runs a swing route down the right sideline and Foles lofts it to him for a 55 yard gain inside the 10.

Next play, Clement powers up the middle to the 2. Nice power run from a third-down back. Clement again on second down. Up the middle again, gets to the 1. Patriots call timeout. 0:40 left.

Good lord, Alshon Jeffery got tackled in the end zone before the ball got there. Incomplete pass. They'll line up to go for it on fourth and goal.

Timeout, Eagles. They want to think about this. The offense is back on the field.

OH WOW. OH WOW.

Direct snap to Clement, flips it to Trey Burton, who throws to a wide-open Foles in the end zone. Touchdown. 22-12 Eagles with 0:34 left in the half.

Once again, Al Michaels says Mike Trout plays for the California Angels.

Patriots have the ball at midfield with 0:03 left. They're lining up for a Hail Mary.

They don't run a Hail Mary. They throw a swing pass to Amendola, who gains 20 yards as the half ends.

At halftime: Philadelphia 22, New England 12

Eagles coach Doug Pederson on the fourth down call at the 1: Our guys marched downfield and I wasn't going to let them get stopped at the one.

HALFTIME

There are commercials happening, but I'm going to grab a snack and a drink. It's a local break anyway.

Commercials: "Unsolved" on USA Network. Pepsi.

Halftime show. Justin Timberlake. Opens with an unbelievably cool laser show under the stage. Now he's coming upstairs into the stadium. Not sure what's with the wardrobe choice. A black leather jacket with fringe and a bandana tied around his neck.

Justin Timberlake isn't my thing musically, but this has been a good halftime show. Better than the Coldplay/Beyonce thing. Better than the Black Eyed Peas. He seems to be changing stages for every new song.

Timberlake doing a "duet" with Prince, which is something Prince was pretty adamant about opposing when he was alive.

Mental note: Make a GIF of the saxophone guy Timberlake walked by just now.

I remembered. Look at sax guy on the left. He's the new Left Shark.

Okay, halftime show over. It was good. Not the best I've ever seen, but solid.

Commercials: A "Jack Ryan" series on Amazon, which seems like exactly the sort of show you'd make if you didn't want me to watch it. Verizon.

Dan Patrick: This is the first game in NFL history to be 22-12 at halftime.

Commercials: Promo for The Voice. Spectrum cable. Giant Eagle. This is obviously a local break. PSA about drinking and driving.

This is the first Super Bowl in history where both QBs were over 200 yards passing in the first half.

Tafoya: Asked Belichick why Butler wasn't playing. He said he makes decisions to give his team the best chance to win. Belichick says they need to do everything better in the second half.

THIRD QUARTER

First play of the second half, Brady misses a wide open Gronk.

They connect on the second play of the half. 25 yard completion downfield to the 50. Next play, Brady to Gronkowski again. 24 yards this time, to the Philadelphia 26.

3rd and 6, Gronkowski again. First and goal at the 8.

It's all Gronk, all the time. Brady zips it to Gronkowski in the end zone on second and goal. 22-18, pending the extra point.

This is not optimal defensive positioning.

Got it this time. 22-19 Eagles. Brady up to 344 yards passing with more than 12 minutes left in the third quarter.

Commercials. Anheuser Busch. Turbotax.

My dude.

Eagles called for a block in the back on the kickoff return. They'll start this drive inside their 20.

Third and 6, Eagles trying to avoid a three-and-out. Agholor with a catch underneath, breaks a tackle to pick up the first down.

A couple of nice runs from Blount and they're into New England territory.

Collinsworth suspects something's up with Jay Ajayi and maybe it is, but Blount has been great.

Ajayi looked okay on that run. Gains 9 on 2nd and 10 and gets to the New England 40.

3rd and 1, Foles to Ertz down the sideline. Gets to the Patriots' 26.

3rd and 6, Foles throws into the end zone. What. a. throw. Corey Clement double covered and the ball is perfect. Looks like Clement bobbled the ball. It's under review as NBC goes to commercial.

Commercials: Jeep. Westworld on HBO. Turbotax.

Ruling on the field stands. Touchdown. It was a close call. Collinsworth is flabbergasted. I don't know what a catch is anymore, to be frank, but I've seen worse calls than that. Extra point is good. 29-19 Eagles.

Commercials: Kia. Blacture.com. Eli Manning mumbling incoherently for something or other. Olympics promo.

Eagles called for defensive holding. Gronk sold it well.

2nd and 8, Dion Lewis up the middle for 6. 3rd and 2 from the Eagles 45.

Brady downfield to Amendola on third and 1. Amendola to the 26 yard line. Next play, Brady to Hogan, who falls into the end zone. Got it. Touchdown. 29-25 with the extra point to come.

Extra point is good.

Commercials: Avengers. T-Mobile. Jesus Christ Superstar promo.

Cutaways: Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton, Floyd Mayweather, Jimmy Fallon, Bradley Cooper.

Commercials: Toyota. Wix. Kraft. The Today Show.

Brady is 19-32 for 404 yards, 2 TD, 0 INT.

First play of the next drive, Folds downfield to Agholor. First down near midfield. Next play, Foles to Torrey Smith. 18 yard gain.

Jet sweep to Agholor for 9 on 2nd and 8. First down inside the New England 25.

NBC graphic: The two teams have combined for 955 total yards, the most in Super Bowl history. And it's still the third quarter.

Third quarter ends. The Eagles have a 3rd and 3 from the New England 15 yard line.

After three quarters: Philadelphia 29, New England 26

Commercials: NFL promo. ADT. Ohio Northern University. Obviously this is a local break. State Farm.

FOURTH QUARTER

Patriots blow up a swing pass to Agholor on third down. Eagles will presumably attempt a field goal after a loss of 8.

Jake Elliott drills a 42 yard field goal. Sets the record for the longest field goal kicked by a rookie in the Super Bowl. 32-26 Eagles. AND THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T GO FOR TWO IN THE SECOND QUARTER.

Commercials: Monster headphones. Michelob Ultra. Groupon.

It's a Rex Burkhead kind of drive for New England. Burkhead run for 5, then Burkhead for 9, then Burkhead for 4.

3rd and 3 for the Patriots. It's clear from motion that the defense is in man coverage, so Brady throws to Amendola. Because that's what he does in man coverage. First down. Next play is a pass downfield to Amendola. First down at the Philadelphia 20.

Hey, have I mentioned HOW BAD AN IDEA IT IS TO GO FOR TWO IN THE SECOND QUARTER?

Swing pass to Amendola for 9. Second and 1 inside the 10.

James White up the middle. First and goal at the Eagles' 3.

Brady is up to 453 yards passing. Throws incomplete on first and goal. Gronk. Brady into the end zone for his big tight end. It's tied at 32, which Michaels describes as the Patriots' first lead of the game.

Brady is now up to 457 yards and 3 TD.

Extra point is good. 33-32 Patriots.

Commercial: Amazon Alexa.

"So I said to myself 'We need that point. We have to get it back. We need to go for two.'"

2nd and 6, Foles throws deep to Smith on a one-on-one jump ball. It falls incomplete. Weird play. It's a huge third down here.

HUGE PLAY. Foles to Ertz for 7 on 3rd and 6. Nice throw.

Clock under 7:00 as Foles throws to Clement. Seven yard gain on 2nd and 8. It's third and 1.

Eagles throw on third and 1. Ugh. It's a swing pass and it's stuffed. Pederson will go for it on 4th and 1.

WHEW. They threw the ball and picked it up. Foles to Ertz for 2. Clock below 5:00. Eagles near midfield.

Philadelphia uses a timeout with 4:52 left in regulation. They have two left.

Commercials: Coke. Peyton Manning for Universal Parks and Resorts. The World Cup on Telemundo.

Nice play by Agholor. Foles escapes the pocket and hits Agholor on the run at the sticks. First down. 3:30 and counting. First and 10 from the New England 43.

Agholor again! Foles zips it to him across the middle. There was a tiny window to complete that pass and he did it. First down inside the 25. The clock is about to become a factor here - the Eagles are likely to take the lead, barring a turnover. The question is how much time Brady will have and how many points he'll need.

Foles is up over 350 yards now. It's pretty obvious that the winning quarterback is going to be the MVP.

1,081 total yards tonight. The most in any NFL postseason game, ever.

Foles to Agholor for 10 yards to the Patriots' 14. Forced out of bounds.

Ajayi for three yards up the middle. Patriots burn their second timeout with 2:30 remaining in regulation. It'll be 2nd and 7.

Incomplete pass on second and 7. Third and 7 here. 2:25 left. Brady's going to have some time, it looks like. If they can get 8 yards on this play, that would be perfect.

TOUCHDOWN! I think. Yeah, that's a touchdown. He had the ball, took a few steps, and dove into the end zone. Ertz took three steps before the ball hit the ground. It seems obvious that this is a touchdown. Collinsworth thinks they have to overturn it. I think he's insane.

I don't see how this is a close call. He caught the ball, started running, dove, got over the goal line, and then the ball popped loose. How is this a question?

What is Collinsworth smoking?

Yeah, they call it a touchdown. That was an easy one, I think. Collinsworth is silent.

Eagles up 38-33. They'll go for two.

Nope. Incomplete pass. AND THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T GO FOR TWO IN THE SECOND QUARTER. DAMMIT.

Brady has 2:21 to put together a touchdown drive.

Collinsworth is still talking about this?

Michaels: In all five Super Bowls Brady has won, he has come back to win them.

Brady to Gronk for 8. 2:16.

BRADY FUMBLES! HOLY CRAP! EAGLES RECOVER.

The game isn't over, but it's damn close. Start chilling nem bottles of champagne.

We reach the two-minute warning with 1:56 left. It'll be third and 5 from the New England 26. They'll run the ball, get the clock down to 1:20 or so, then either kick a field goal (if they don't pick up the first down) or take a knee (if they do).

Blount stuffed on third down. Clock will be down to 1:10 before the field goal attempt. Eagles take a timeout with 70 seconds left.

46 yard field goal, dead center from Jake Elliott. Eagles up 41-33 with 1:05 left. Hell of a clutch kick by a rookie.

Patriots try to run a trick play on the return, but Burkhead is stuffed at the 9. Brady needs to go 91 yards in 58 seconds.

1st and 10, incomplete to Hogan.

2nd and 10, incomplete to White. 0:48 left.

3rd and 10, Brady under pressure in his own end zone, gets the throw off. Incomplete. It's 4th and 10. Now or never.

Complete to Amendola for 12 yards. They spike it with 26 seconds left. They still need 78 yards.

Brady to Gronk. Gets out of bounds at his own 33. 0:20 left.

Brady to Gronk for another 16, gets out of bounds. Near midfield. 0:13 left.

Eagles take their final timeout to talk this over.

Incomplete pass on first down. 0:09 left.

Next play, Brady buys time, chucks it deep, and it falls incomplete in the end zone as time expires.

THE EAGLES HAVE WON THE SUPER BOWL.

THIS ONE'S FOR PHILLY BOY ROY.

Final score: Philadelphia 41, New England 33. Nem Eagles got it done.

POSTGAME

Commercials: Scientology.

Yes, I’m curious. Where’s Shelly Miscavige? Why has nobody seen her in public in more than a decade?

Tom Brady threw for 505 yards, three touchdowns, and zero interceptions. And lost.

Brandon Graham: We are the world champions because we worked our butts off.

The Patriots punted zero times. And lost.

Collinsworth: Nick Foles was unbelievable tonight.

Trophy presentation. Darrell Green carries the Lombardi Trophy to the stage. Weird that they'd have an NFC East great who didn't play for Phiadelphia do this. Apparently he had a big game in Super Bowl XXVI. I contend that game never happened, which is a shame because the Bills were supposed to be in it.

Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie: For Eagles fans everywhere, this is for them. This is the most unique, together, group of men I've ever been around. An incredible group of men, players and coaches. Attempts to dedicate the win. Dan Patrick blows through that, but Lurie somehow gets the microphone from him and dedicates this championship to Eagles fans around the world and especially to his mom and dad.

Doug Pederson thanks Jesus. Praises his players. Has the best players in the world, loves the coaching staff and the owner. Has the best fans in the world.

Pederson: Wanted to stay aggressive with Foles. That was the plan coming in.

Ertz: No doubt that it was a touchdown. No telling what would have happened in the city of Philadelphia if it had been overturned.

Nick Foles is the MVP. Jokingly says it was just another game. His infant daughter tries to grab the microphone. Foles says he's very blessed.

Commercials: Motorola with Amazon Alexa. H&R Block. Discover Card. McDonalds. Eagles championship gear at NFLShop dot com. Xfinity.

Dungy: Foles made big plays all night, but when he needed a touchdown, he went to Ertz.

Harrison: Said Graham would make a difference on defense for the Eagles, and he made the big play late in the fourth quarter.

Bill Belichick: I obviously didn't do a good enough job coaching. We missed a lot of opportunities in the first half. Not good enough on defense. Not good enough in the kicking game.

Harrison: If the Patriots are going to come back to this game, they'll need to improve that defense. Just not enough athletes.

Dungy: Foles knows this is Carson Wentz's team, but was ready to go tonight.

Michaels and Collinsworth awkwardly fist bump.

#nfl #football #super bowl #super bowl lii #new england #new england patriots #patriots #philadelphia eagles #philadelphia #eagles

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andtheniwrotemarvel · 7 years

Text

Salamander (Part 5)

Newt Era HP!Steve/Bucky/Peggy x Reader

Assumed female reader

Word Count: 1925

Yep definitely writing the rest of the movie

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6

Hand in hand, you and Newt ran through the basement doors, Tina right next to you. A group of aurors suddenly blocked your path, and only just in time did you duck behind cement pillars to hide from their attacks. Once again, Newt pulled his reptilian creature from his coat. It zoomed around the pillars wreaking havoc on the aurors until it was safe to proceed again.

"Leave his brains, come on! Come on!" Newt scolded the creature as it used its proboscis to probe one of the auror's ears. It took flight once again, blocking curses and taking on more aurors.

"What is that thing?" Tina asked.

"Swooping Evil," Newt provided.

"Well, I love it!" she exclaimed.

"So do I," you agreed. "It's gorgeous." The Swooping Evil crowed loudly in response.

You dashed around a corner, only to nearly run into Jacob and a blonde woman that you didn't recognize. She was holding Newt's case, and Jacob seemed fine with her, so you decided to trust her for the time being.

"Get in!" the new woman said, gesturing to the case. One by one, everyone descended into the miraculous case, the blonde closing the case after Jacob was the last in.

You all sat quietly together for a few moments, none of you talking in fear that someone outside of the case would hear you. Tina especially needed a moment to gather herself as, after all it's not every day that someone faces certain death and lives to tell the tale.

"Do you think that Queenie can get us out of here?" Newt asked Tina. You assumed that Queenie was the blonde.

"Of course she can," Jacob answered confidently.

"My sister has gotten herself out of worse scrapes than walking around with a strange suitcase," Tina agreed.

Relaxing for the first time since Tina had walked in on MACUSA, you inquired, "So this is that suitcase you always wanted to make?"

"Yes," Newt responded, enthralled. "And it just keeps getting bigger. I'll give you the full tour when we have the time."

"I'm excited to see all of your creatures, too," you said.

"I bet that they'll love you," he said, enamored. "Pickett already does."

"Pickett?"

"The bowtruckle on your shoulder there. He doesn't like many people, so I think you've got a pretty good chance with the rest of the creatures."

"How long have you two known each other?" Tina asked.

You thought back all of those years to when you had first met Newt. Neither of you knew very many people, as you were a muggle-born and he had grown up pretty isolated. You had sat next to each other in Transfiguration one day and had been inseparable until Leta stepped in.

"Since first year at Hogwarts," Newt answered. "We were best friends up until about fourth or fifth year, wouldn't you say, (Y/N)?"

"That sounds about right, yes," you agreed. "And even until we got kicked out of school together, we were still friends, even if we weren't as close."

"I would have pegged you two as a couple," Jacob said.

"A couple?" you chuckled. "No, the most romantic thing we ever did was ditching Transfiguration together on the day that we got kicked out. What made you think that?"

"The way you two act around each other reminds me a little bit of my grandparents, is all," Jacob shrugged. "I didn't mean anything by it."

"It's alright," Newt said. "We might well have been a couple if I hadn't ruined it."

"Oh, come on, now, don't take all the credit. You know that I don't blame you for anything," you stated.

"Just because you don't doesn't mean that I don't," Newt reminded you.

"Newton Scamander, not everything is your fault, alright? Take a step back and breathe."

"Your full name is Newton?" Jacob asked. "Newt just fits you so well that I didn't think it could be short for anything."

"Well, technically speaking, my full name is Newton Artemis Fido Scamander, but Newt has suited me rather well, yes," Newt answered.

Not much time passed before Queenie opened the top of the suitcase. "You're all safe to come out now. I've found us a nice spot that no one'll think to look," she said cheerfully.

Tina was the first one out, quickly followed by Jacob. You and Newt stood awkwardly next to each other for a second, waiting for the other to go up first. When neither of you moved, both of you took a step forward, nearly running into each other, then stepped back.

"If you two want a moment alone, you can have one," Queenie suggested. "You just come on up when you're ready."

"We'd like that very much, thank you," Newt accepted. Queenie let out a knowing giggle, then closed the case for you.

Newt wasted no time in apologizing to you. "I'm sorry if what I did down there made you feel uncomfortable in any way. I just thought that just in case escaping didn't work out, I would be able to die knowing that I had...well..." he met your eyes briefly before returning his gaze to the ground. "I really liked you back at Hogwarts, but I never said anything because I thought that you hated me because of Leta. I suppose that it's childish of me to hold onto a crush for so long and--" Newt was forced to stop as you placed your index finger on his lips.

"You don't need to apologize, okay? I've held onto a crush for a long time, too, so if it's childish, we can at least be childish together," you said. Newt didn't say anything, but you knew that he caught onto what you meant by the way his eyes widened. "If escaping hadn't worked out, I would have been able to die, too, knowing that you felt the same way about me that I did about you."

"Would you mind if...if I did it again?" he asked you, beginning to blush.

"I wouldn't mind at all."

The second kiss was even more perfect than the first, especially considering that there weren't two executioners pulling you away from each other or restraints on your arms. It lasted as long as it needed to, and even with all of the chaos around, you knew that this was happening exactly when it needed to.

"Do you think that we should go up?" Newt asked timidly after you broke apart.

"Probably. We need to find that last creature as soon as we can, plus that Obscurus shouldn't be left alone for much longer, either," you said.

"Let's gather our resources, then," he agreed.

You came out onto a rooftop overlooking all of New York. In all of the months that you had been in the city, you had never bothered to fine a decent view of it, a decision that you now questioned. You and Newt stepped onto a ledge, fingers intertwined, then Pickett chirped and hopped from you onto Newt's shoulder.

"I think he thinks you're a tree," you giggled.

"Why would you think that?"

"You're tall, thin, you've got branches and a big cluster of thin, soft leaves on top of your head. He practically lives on you, and bowtruckles live in trees."

"I suppose that's a fair argument," he acknowledged.

Tina stepped up onto the ledge next to you. Now it was time for business.

"What've we got?" you asked.

"Graves always insisted that the disturbances were caused by a beast," she stated. "We need to catch all your creatures so he can't keep using them as a scapegoat."

"That sounds like a good plan," you nodded. "Newt, how many do we have left?"

"There's only one still missing," he said. "Dougal, my Demiguise."

"Dougal?" Tina smirked.

"A Demiguise?" you asked incredulously. This was going to be much harder than you thought.

"Yes, a Demiguise. See, Tina, the slight problem is that...um, he's invisible," Newt sighed.

"For Merlin's sake," you muttered.

Tina smiled at the ridiculous prospect she was facing. "Invisible?"

"Yes--most of the time...he does...um..." he trailed off.

"How do you catch something that--" Tina began.

"With immense difficulty," Newt cut her off, a nervous smile beginning to show.

"Oh..." Tina mumbled.

"Merlin," you reiterated.

"Gnarlak!" she shouted suddenly.

"Pardon?" you asked.

"Excuse me?" Newt questioned, taken aback.

"Gnarlak--he was an informant of mine when I was an auror!" she explained excitedly. "He used to trade in magical creatures on the side--"

"He wouldn't happen to have an interest in paw prints, would he?" Newt queried.

"He's interested in anything he can sell."

"Where do we find him?" you asked.

"The Blind Pig. Have you been there?" Tina checked. "It's not the safest place in the city, but that's where you end up finding the best information."

"I've been there a couple of times," you said. "Now, please don't take this the wrong way, but I really need to check on my friend Peggy. I'm not trying to--"

"Do you think she'd want to come with us?" Newt asked before you could say what you weren't trying to do.

"Peggy? I'm going to have to warn you, she's not the same as when you last saw her. Everything you probably remember about her disappeared with Steve," you said. "She probably needs something like this, though. I'll meet you at The Blind Pig, alright?"

"Sounds like a plan," Tina nodded.

You apparated just outside of your apartment and knocked on the door. For precautions since the disappearances of your best friends, several protective charms had been placed around your apartment, including a few that prevented apparition into your home.

"Peggy?" you called into the apartment. No response. "Peggy, I need you to open the door for me. I forgot my keys again."

After a few minutes, she came and opened the door, offering you a melancholy smile. "I was wondering when you would come back. Was today as boring as usual?" she inquired. "I just started some tea, by the way."

"Today was actually much more exciting than I expected," you shrugged, shutting the apartment door behind you. "I got the opportunity to shout at Madam Picquery and the rest of MACUSA, including Percival Graves--"

"He's had it coming to him for a very long time."

"Right you are. Then, I got arrested--"

"What?"

"And sentenced to death--"

"(Y/N)!"

"But then I escaped. It all turned out fine."

"Why were you arrested and sentenced to death?" Peggy asked. "Are you a fugitive now?"

"Ah, there is one thing I forgot to mention. Newt Scamander decided to pop in."

"Why do I have the feeling that this is going to take much longer to explain than we have time for?" she sighed.

"Oh, don't worry, it won't take that much time." You gave her the short version of your tale, leaving out the budding romance between you and your old friend.

"I should be scolding you for not holding your tongue when you need to, but I'm actually very proud of you," Peggy commended you.

"Are you feeling up to joining us on our little adventure?" you asked cautiously.

She looked unsure, wanting to stay at your apartment safe and sound, but also wanting to do something that reminded her of the last few years when she had been actively involved in the war with you, Bucky, and Steve. "I suppose that it would be good for me," she agreed hesitantly. "Just like the good old days, right?"

"Exactly," you nodded. "Let's get ourselves ready to go out, shall we?"

Tags: @shamvictoria11 @cookies186 @sweeneytoddler

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #peggy carter #newt scamander #newt scamander x reader #newt scamander oneshot #fantastic beasts and where to find them #fantastic beasts #harry potter #Harry Potter/Avengers crossover #marvel #marvel oneshot #avengers #avengers oneshot

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junker-town · 6 years

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2017 NFL celebration rankings: Falcons ‘Soul Train’ their way to No. 1 in Week 11

We’ve got a new champion in this week’s rankings.

The NFL relaxed its rules on celebrations this offseason. Here at SB Nation, our editorial stance is that this makes the game funner for players and fans alike, and we endorse it wholeheartedly.

For the longest time, we enjoyed seeing Antonio Brown twerking in the end zone and Odell Beckham Jr. doing his best Michael Jackson impression, only to have that delight interrupted by a flag and the knowledge that a fine would likely follow. We shouldn’t see any pelvic thrusting this year despite the relaxed rules. It’s still a penalty. But players can dance, use the ball as a prop, and choreograph celebrations with teammates til their hearts’ content.

We’ll be celebrating the celebrations this season by keeping a running list of rankings. At the end of the year we’ll crown a winner.

Here are the latest NFL celebration rankings:

Group category

1. Soul Train

The Falcons got a big road win on Monday Night Football against the Seahawks in Week 11. They also jumped to the top of our rankings with the best celebration of the season. Mohamed Sanu Sr. got all of his teammates involved as he went down the Soul Train line.

Going down the Soul Train on #VictoryTuesday like: http://pic.twitter.com/IjlS6NRFNA

— Atlanta Falcons (@AtlantaFalcons) November 21, 2017

2. Leapfrog

Heck yes. This was the most fun celebration of the year until the Falcons took over in Week 11, and that’s saying something, because there have been a ton of good ones. Bonus points for involving so many players, especially the unsung heroes, offensive linemen.

3. Potato sack race

This is brilliant. After a Travis Kelce touchdown, Tyreek Hill and Demarcus Robinson faced off against him in a potato sack race. Demetrius Harris officiates, and both Robinson and Hill fall down. We don’t want to speculate, but they might have let Kelce win.

4. Duck, duck, goose!

It wasn’t easy to unseat the Colts and their bank heist, but the Vikings pulled it off with a duck, duck, goose celebration in the end zone.

5. Steelers play hide and seek

JuJu Smith-Schuster is a rookie, but he’s already proven he’s one of the most fun players in the league. Case in point: this hide and seek celebration with Le’Veon Bell.

6. Steelers re-enact A.J. Green and Jalen Ramsey fight

This one lands pretty high on the list for creativity alone. It’s a pretty good simulation of the fight. But it’s also unusual, which makes it stand out.

7. Eagles score a touchdown, then hit a home run

Torrey Smith scores to put the Eagles up 20-0, and then he knocks one out of the park. It doesn’t get much better than this.

8. Eagles charge the mound

The Eagles must really love these baseball-themed celebrations. This one was great because it happened during the week of the World Series. Zach Ertz hits Alshon Jeffery with a pitch, and Jeffery charges the mound.

9. Colts pull off a bank heist

Someone finally knocked Taco Charlton out of the top spot, and it’s the Colts, with a creative take on a bank robbery.

10. Titans become Temptations impersonators for a minute

I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day. When it’s cold outside, I’ve got the month of May. I guess you’d say, what can make me feel this way? My girl, my girl, my girl ...

Thanks to the Titans we’ve got that one stuck in our heads.

11. Taco Charlton makin’ tacos for his teammates

This was a preseason celebration, but it’s so perfect that we have to count it. As a matter of fact, we’re all convinced this one may be hard to top, period.

If anybody but a guy named Taco tried to pull this off, it would be weird. But for Charlton, it totally works.

12. Le’Veon Bell benches in the end zone

This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “flex on ‘em.”

13. Rob Kelley teaches Morgan Moses how to spike

Now this is teamwork.

14. Eagles coordinate a group spike

It’s simple, yet well-timed and effective.

15. The Lions pretend they’re a curling team

The Lions have this group celebration thing down, and they’re dominating this category. After a touchdown in Week 3 against the Falcons, Golden Tate and his teammates went all Winter Olympics on us in the end zone.

16. The Bills take a video game break

After a Jordan Matthews score, he and Zay Jones faced off in a pretend video game. Wonder who won?

17. Taylor Gabriel and Julio Jones on a relay team?

Excuse me, USA Track and Field, but this is actually not a bad idea. These two can both fly.

✈️ #Line it up @juliojones_11 #Brotherhood http://pic.twitter.com/kBX7ijwtP9

— Taylor Gabriel (@TGdadon1) September 26, 2017

18. Marvin Jones and his teammates Double Dutch

This celebration is the perfect example of why the NFL needed to chill out about group celebrations. When Marvin Jones and his teammates go full-on elementary school kids jumping rope on a playground, it’s the embodiment of fun.

The catch was great... the celebration was even better! #NYJvsDET det-lions http://pic.twitter.com/hT2yYHbhor

— Detroit Lions (@Lions) August 20, 2017

19. Martavis Bryant shooting dice

Martavis Bryant scored his first touchdown since 2015 in Week 2 against the Vikings, and he celebrated by throwing some imaginary dice. His teammate Antonio Brown promptly snatched them up.

20. Titans are not worthy of Wesley Woodyard

Are any of these players really old enough to remember Wayne’s World? It doesn’t matter. This is a good one.

21. Deshaun Watson dances with Toro, the Texans’ mascot

Everybody’s having a good time! They should have been. The Texans won 57-14.

22. Packers serving up some chow

Davante Adams dished up some dinner for his teammates, and Randall Cobb was first in line. Maybe it was a Cobb salad.

23. Dalvin is Cookin’

Vikings rookie Dalvin Cook celebrated a trip to the end zone with a play off of his last name. It was unfortunately his last celebration of the season since he tore his ACL and landed on IR later in the game.

24. Titans players take some photos in the end zone

Rishard Matthews scored in Week 3 against the Seahawks, and he pulled in teammates Eric Weems and Jonnu Smith for a little photoshoot.

25. Don’t leave Graham Glasgow hanging, guys!

.@ShowtimeTate: "We're going to try to involve him next time. Poor Graham. He just wants to be included." http://pic.twitter.com/FZ2VomzH44

— Detroit Lions (@Lions) September 20, 2017

Golden Tate and Marvin Jones celebrated a touchdown with a friendly little fake game of ping pong. But offensive lineman Graham Glasgow just wanted to join in, and the guys gave him the cold shoulder. Our only quarrel with their top-ranked curling celebration is that Glasgow wasn’t around. Include your teammate next time, because otherwise this was a fun one.

26. We legitimately don’t know what the Bengals are even doing here

Kudos for taking advantage of the celebration rules, but tighten up, fellas.

Solo category

1. Juju Schuster-Smith with the Dragon Ball Z nod

Kamehameha!

2. Juju Smith-Schuster locks up his bike

He’s only a rookie, and he’s the youngest player in the NFL. But he sure knows how to celebrate. Smith-Schuster’s bike was stolen. He celebrated a touchdown in the next game by locking up the exercise bike on the sideline. Better safe than sorry.

3. Stefon Diggs pays homage to Randy Moss

This couldn’t have come at a better time, as Diggs honored the Vikings legend on a night when Moss was in the house to be inducted into the team’s Ring of Honor. Diggs hit Moss’ classic Splitting the Defense celebration, then went right into a Milly Rock.

4. Odell Beckham Jr. performs CPR on the ball

Sadly, this is the last Beckham celebration we’ll see this year. He’s been placed on IR after having season-ending surgery to repair a broken ankle he suffered in Week 5 against the Chargers. But this was a good one.

5. Tyreek Hill makes a phone call

We don’t know who he’s calling. Saul? Ghostbusters? Carly Rae Jepsen? It doesn’t matter. It’s a fun celebration.

6. Myles Garrett celebrates his first sack with a nod to J.R. Smith

What a way to make his entrance into the NFL.

7. Joe Mixon’s Milly Rock

It’s flawless execution from the rookie.

8. Kareem Hunt takes a nap in the end zone

Playing football is hard work, and everybody needs a nap now and then. Kareem Hunt caught up on some hard-earned rest after scoring a touchdown against the Eagles by catching some Z’s in the end zone.

9. Kenny Stills does his best LaDainian Tomlinson impression

After scoring a touchdown against the Chargers, Stills’ celebration was an homage to Chargers great LaDainian Tomlinson. Tomlinson was even in the house to see it happen.

10. Adam Thielen can’t contain his excitement

This looks less like a planned celebration and more like Thielen just being super-excited. But we like it.

11. Dion Lewis gets up close and personal

The Patriots running back looked like he wanted to share this celebration with everyone sitting at home and watching his team beat the Broncos.

12. Browns tight end David Njoku spikes the ball into his own butt

This was probably an unintended consequence, but it was hilarious.

13. GRONK SPIKE from Jadeveon Clowney

Clowney celebrated his pick-six against Tom Brady and the Patriots in the best possible way.

14. Travis Kelce’s got moves

Technically this could be a group celebration, but Kelce steals the show, so he’s getting the solo nod here.

15. Charcandrick West’s sassy dance

There’s something to be said for a good old-fashioned touchdown celebration dance. That’s what West gave us in the Chiefs’ win over the Texans in Week 5.

16. Tie - Mack Hollins and Mark Ingram are both Backpack Kid

Much like Backpack Kid stole Katy Perry’s spotlight on Saturday Night Live, these guys tried to show each other up with their own versions of Backpack Kid’s dance.

17. Stefon Diggs punts a ball to Mars

We need to ask Marquette King to analyze Diggs’ form, but he gets some pretty good air under this one.

18. Cam Newton brought back the dab

Newton said the dab was dead, then proved the dab can never die.

Cam Newton brought back the dab http://pic.twitter.com/xJKFeM76XH

— SB Nation (@SBNation) September 17, 2017

19. Cam’s really got to expand his repertoire

All of this buildup for his same old Superman celebration. Sigh.

20. Yeah, we don’t even know

What’s this celebration? We have no idea.

Basketball-related category

1. Demetrius Harris shoots a free throw while Tyreek Hill plays the part of the hoop

The Chiefs made another strong case in favor of group celebrations in their season-opening win over the Patriots. Harris got into the end zone, and his teammates joined him for a little basketball-themed celebration.

2. Devonta Freeman shoots a free throw

These basketball-themed celebrations are pretty popular. Freeman scored two touchdowns in Atlanta’s Week 2 win over the Packers, and he celebrated his first score by shooting a free throw through his teammate Andy Levitre’s arms. NBC celebrated, too, by playing the old NBA on NBC theme song.

3. Vintage Vernon Davis

Davis has to be so happy he won’t get fined for this one anymore.

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junker-town · 6 years

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2017 NFL celebration rankings: Vikings leapfrog back into the top spot in Week 10

The Vikings are back at No. 1 this week with yet another fun celebration.

The NFL relaxed its rules on celebrations this offseason. Here at SB Nation, our editorial stance is that this makes the game funner for players and fans alike, and we endorse it wholeheartedly.

We’ll be celebrating the celebrations this season by keeping a running list of rankings. At the end of the year we’ll crown a winner.

Here are the latest NFL celebration rankings:

Group category

1. Leapfrog

Heck yes. This is the most fun celebration of the year so far, and that’s saying something, because there have been a ton of good ones. Bonus points for involving so many players, especially the unsung heroes, offensive linemen.

2. Potato sack race

3. Duck, duck, goose!

It wasn’t easy to unseat the Colts and their bank heist, but the Vikings pulled it off with a duck, duck, goose celebration in the end zone.

4. Steelers play hide and seek

JuJu Smith-Schuster is a rookie, but he’s already proven he’s one of the most fun players in the league. Case in point: this hide and seek celebration with Le’Veon Bell.

5. Steelers re-enact A.J. Green and Jalen Ramsey fight

This one lands pretty high on the list for creativity alone. It’s a pretty good simulation of the fight. But it’s also unusual, which makes it stand out.

6. Eagles score a touchdown, then hit a home run

Torrey Smith scores to put the Eagles up 20-0, and then he knocks one out of the park. It doesn’t get much better than this.

7. Eagles charge the mound

8. Colts pull off a bank heist

Someone finally knocked Taco Charlton out of the top spot, and it’s the Colts, with a creative take on a bank robbery.

9. Titans become Temptations impersonators for a minute

I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day. When it’s cold outside, I’ve got the month of May. I guess you’d say, what can make me feel this way? My girl, my girl, my girl ...

Thanks to the Titans we’ve got that one stuck in our heads.

10. Taco Charlton makin’ tacos for his teammates

This was a preseason celebration, but it’s so perfect that we have to count it. As a matter of fact, we’re all convinced this one may be hard to top, period.

If anybody but a guy named Taco tried to pull this off, it would be weird. But for Charlton, it totally works.

11. Le’Veon Bell benches in the end zone

This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “flex on ‘em.”

12. Rob Kelley teaches Morgan Moses how to spike

Now this is teamwork.

13. Eagles coordinate a group spike

It’s simple, yet well-timed and effective.

14. The Lions pretend they’re a curling team

15. The Bills take a video game break

After a Jordan Matthews score, he and Zay Jones faced off in a pretend video game. Wonder who won?

16. Taylor Gabriel and Julio Jones on a relay team?

Excuse me, USA Track and Field, but this is actually not a bad idea. These two can both fly.

✈️ #Line it up @juliojones_11 #Brotherhood http://pic.twitter.com/kBX7ijwtP9

— Taylor Gabriel (@TGdadon1) September 26, 2017

17. Marvin Jones and his teammates Double Dutch

The catch was great... the celebration was even better! #NYJvsDET det-lions http://pic.twitter.com/hT2yYHbhor

— Detroit Lions (@Lions) August 20, 2017

18. Martavis Bryant shooting dice

Martavis Bryant scored his first touchdown since 2015 in Week 2 against the Vikings, and he celebrated by throwing some imaginary dice. His teammate Antonio Brown promptly snatched them up.

19. Titans are not worthy of Wesley Woodyard

Are any of these players really old enough to remember Wayne’s World? It doesn’t matter. This is a good one.

20. Deshaun Watson dances with Toro, the Texans’ mascot

Everybody’s having a good time! They should have been. The Texans won 57-14.

21. Packers serving up some chow

Davante Adams dished up some dinner for his teammates, and Randall Cobb was first in line. Maybe it was a Cobb salad.

22. Dalvin is Cookin’

23. Titans players take some photos in the end zone

Rishard Matthews scored in Week 3 against the Seahawks, and he pulled in teammates Eric Weems and Jonnu Smith for a little photoshoot.

24. Don’t leave Graham Glasgow hanging, guys!

.@ShowtimeTate: "We're going to try to involve him next time. Poor Graham. He just wants to be included." http://pic.twitter.com/FZ2VomzH44

— Detroit Lions (@Lions) September 20, 2017

25. We legitimately don’t know what the Bengals are even doing here

Kudos for taking advantage of the celebration rules, but tighten up, fellas.

Solo category

1. Juju Schuster-Smith with the Dragon Ball Z nod

Kamehameha!

2. Juju Smith-Schuster locks up his bike

3. Stefon Diggs pays homage to Randy Moss

4. Odell Beckham Jr. performs CPR on the ball

5. Tyreek Hill makes a phone call

We don’t know who he’s calling. Saul? Ghostbusters? Carly Rae Jepsen? It doesn’t matter. It’s a fun celebration.

6. Myles Garrett celebrates his first sack with a nod to J.R. Smith

What a way to make his entrance into the NFL.

7. Joe Mixon’s Milly Rock

It’s flawless execution from the rookie.

8. Kareem Hunt takes a nap in the end zone

9. Kenny Stills does his best LaDainian Tomlinson impression

After scoring a touchdown against the Chargers, Stills’ celebration was an homage to Chargers great LaDainian Tomlinson. Tomlinson was even in the house to see it happen.

10. Adam Thielen can’t contain his excitement

This looks less like a planned celebration and more like Thielen just being super-excited. But we like it.

11. Dion Lewis gets up close and personal

The Patriots running back looked like he wanted to share this celebration with everyone sitting at home and watching his team beat the Broncos.

12. Browns tight end David Njoku spikes the ball into his own butt

This was probably an unintended consequence, but it was hilarious.

13. GRONK SPIKE from Jadeveon Clowney

Clowney celebrated his pick-six against Tom Brady and the Patriots in the best possible way.

14. Travis Kelce’s got moves

Technically this could be a group celebration, but Kelce steals the show, so he’s getting the solo nod here.

15. Charcandrick West’s sassy dance

There’s something to be said for a good old-fashioned touchdown celebration dance. That’s what West gave us in the Chiefs’ win over the Texans in Week 5.

16. Tie - Mack Hollins and Mark Ingram are both Backpack Kid

Much like Backpack Kid stole Katy Perry’s spotlight on Saturday Night Live, these guys tried to show each other up with their own versions of Backpack Kid’s dance.

17. Stefon Diggs punts a ball to Mars

We need to ask Marquette King to analyze Diggs’ form, but he gets some pretty good air under this one.

18. Cam Newton brought back the dab

Newton said the dab was dead, then proved the dab can never die.

Cam Newton brought back the dab http://pic.twitter.com/xJKFeM76XH

— SB Nation (@SBNation) September 17, 2017

19. Cam’s really got to expand his repertoire

All of this buildup for his same old Superman celebration. Sigh.

20. Yeah, we don’t even know

What’s this celebration? We have no idea.

Basketball-related category

1. Demetrius Harris shoots a free throw while Tyreek Hill plays the part of the hoop

2. Devonta Freeman shoots a free throw

3. Vintage Vernon Davis

Davis has to be so happy he won’t get fined for this one anymore.

0 notes

junker-town · 6 years

Text

2017 NFL celebration rankings: Chiefs take 1st place in Week 9 with a potato sack race

Sorry Vikings. There’s a new leader in our celebration rankings.

The NFL relaxed its rules on celebrations this offseason. Here at SB Nation, our editorial stance is that this makes the game funner for players and fans alike, and we endorse it wholeheartedly.

We’ll be celebrating the celebrations this season by keeping a running list of rankings. At the end of the year we’ll crown a winner.

Here are the latest NFL celebration rankings:

Group category

1. Potato sack race

2. Duck, duck, goose!

It wasn’t easy to unseat the Colts and their bank heist, but the Vikings pulled it off with a duck, duck, goose celebration in the end zone.

3. Steelers play hide and seek

JuJu Smith-Schuster is a rookie, but he’s already proven he’s one of the most fun players in the league. Case in point: this hide and seek celebration with Le’Veon Bell.

4. Eagles score a touchdown, then hit a home run

Torrey Smith scores to put the Eagles up 20-0, and then he knocks one out of the park. It doesn’t get much better than this.

5. Eagles charge the mound

6. Colts pull off a bank heist

Someone finally knocked Taco Charlton out of the top spot, and it’s the Colts, with a creative take on a bank robbery.

7. Titans become Temptations impersonators for a minute

I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day. When it’s cold outside, I’ve got the month of May. I guess you’d say, what can make me feel this way? My girl, my girl, my girl ...

Thanks to the Titans we’ve got that one stuck in our heads.

8. Taco Charlton makin’ tacos for his teammates

This was a preseason celebration, but it’s so perfect that we have to count it. As a matter of fact, we’re all convinced this one may be hard to top, period.

If anybody but a guy named Taco tried to pull this off, it would be weird. But for Charlton, it totally works.

9. Le’Veon Bell benches in the end zone

This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “flex on ‘em.”

10. Rob Kelley teaches Morgan Moses how to spike

Now this is teamwork.

11. Eagles coordinate a group spike

It’s simple, yet well-timed and effective.

12. The Lions pretend they’re a curling team

13. The Bills take a video game break

After a Jordan Matthews score, he and Zay Jones faced off in a pretend video game. Wonder who won?

14. Taylor Gabriel and Julio Jones on a relay team?

Excuse me, USA Track and Field, but this is actually not a bad idea. These two can both fly.

✈️ #Line it up @juliojones_11 #Brotherhood http://pic.twitter.com/kBX7ijwtP9

— Taylor Gabriel (@TGdadon1) September 26, 2017

15. Marvin Jones and his teammates Double Dutch

The catch was great... the celebration was even better! #NYJvsDET det-lions http://pic.twitter.com/hT2yYHbhor

— Detroit Lions (@Lions) August 20, 2017

16. Martavis Bryant shooting dice

Martavis Bryant scored his first touchdown since 2015 in Week 2 against the Vikings, and he celebrated by throwing some imaginary dice. His teammate Antonio Brown promptly snatched them up.

17. Titans are not worthy of Wesley Woodyard

Are any of these players really old enough to remember Wayne’s World? It doesn’t matter. This is a good one.

18. Deshaun Watson dances with Toro, the Texans’ mascot

Everybody’s having a good time! They should have been. The Texans won 57-14.

19. Packers serving up some chow

Davante Adams dished up some dinner for his teammates, and Randall Cobb was first in line. Maybe it was a Cobb salad.

20. Dalvin is Cookin’

21. Titans players take some photos in the end zone

Rishard Matthews scored in Week 3 against the Seahawks, and he pulled in teammates Eric Weems and Jonnu Smith for a little photoshoot.

22. Don’t leave Graham Glasgow hanging, guys!

.@ShowtimeTate: "We're going to try to involve him next time. Poor Graham. He just wants to be included." http://pic.twitter.com/FZ2VomzH44

— Detroit Lions (@Lions) September 20, 2017

23. We legitimately don’t know what the Bengals are even doing here

Kudos for taking advantage of the celebration rules, but tighten up, fellas.

Solo category

1. Juju Schuster-Smith with the Dragon Ball Z nod

Kamehameha!

2. Juju Smith-Schuster locks up his bike

3. Stefon Diggs pays homage to Randy Moss

4. Odell Beckham Jr. performs CPR on the ball

5. Tyreek Hill makes a phone call

We don’t know who he’s calling. Saul? Ghostbusters? Carly Rae Jepsen? It doesn’t matter. It’s a fun celebration.

6. Myles Garrett celebrates his first sack with a nod to J.R. Smith

What a way to make his entrance into the NFL.

7. Joe Mixon’s Milly Rock

It’s flawless execution from the rookie.

8. Kareem Hunt takes a nap in the end zone

9. Kenny Stills does his best LaDainian Tomlinson impression

After scoring a touchdown against the Chargers, Stills’ celebration was an homage to Chargers great LaDainian Tomlinson. Tomlinson was even in the house to see it happen.

10. Adam Thielen can’t contain his excitement

This looks less like a planned celebration and more like Thielen just being super-excited. But we like it.

11. Browns tight end David Njoku spikes the ball into his own butt

This was probably an unintended consequence, but it was hilarious.

12. GRONK SPIKE from Jadeveon Clowney

Clowney celebrated his pick-six against Tom Brady and the Patriots in the best possible way.

13. Travis Kelce’s got moves

Technically this could be a group celebration, but Kelce steals the show, so he’s getting the solo nod here.

14. Charcandrick West’s sassy dance

There’s something to be said for a good old-fashioned touchdown celebration dance. That’s what West gave us in the Chiefs’ win over the Texans in Week 5.

15. Tie - Mack Hollins and Mark Ingram are both Backpack Kid

Much like Backpack Kid stole Katy Perry’s spotlight on Saturday Night Live, these guys tried to show each other up with their own versions of Backpack Kid’s dance.

16. Stefon Diggs punts a ball to Mars

We need to ask Marquette King to analyze Diggs’ form, but he gets some pretty good air under this one.

17. Cam Newton brought back the dab

Newton said the dab was dead, then proved the dab can never die.

Cam Newton brought back the dab http://pic.twitter.com/xJKFeM76XH

— SB Nation (@SBNation) September 17, 2017

18. Cam’s really got to expand his repertoire

All of this buildup for his same old Superman celebration. Sigh.

19. Yeah, we don’t even know

What’s this celebration? We have no idea.

Basketball-related category

1. Demetrius Harris shoots a free throw while Tyreek Hill plays the part of the hoop

2. Devonta Freeman shoots a free throw

3. Vintage Vernon Davis

Davis has to be so happy he won’t get fined for this one anymore.

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