#its like 4-5 on the 'i can handle it' scale so its fine. dont ask if im bottling it up i dont know

[lord-shitbox]

what is this shit. beginning to think i may actually have the disorder i am diagnosed with

[alreadyblondenow]

Sugar | 1

Jaehyun x reader // SMUT Summary: You’re just trying to enjoy your short break before going back to school, you met Jaehyun at a bar in the most creative way. Things got interesting after agreeing to hook up with him. Word Count: 3k Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, older Jaehyun, younger reader, age difference. If you’re uncomfortable, please click away. Explicit mature scenes, rough? sex. Note: there will be following chapters so the genre will change eventually to fluff, angst and smut.  Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

It was the end of third term and you passed the first level of your thesis a real pain in the ass but you managed to pass. You and your circle of friends decided to celebrate at one of the city’s finest and expensive bar and get wasted to expensive shots and beers the whole night. No matter how fucked up you get from drinking tonight, someone will get you home safe and untouched. It’s been months since the last time you tasted alcohol and tonight you’re ready to drink any drink your friends give you.

You and your friends are collecting shots at the bar when a really tall man approached you asking if they can join tables with you guys to have fun. “To have fun?” You repeated.

“Oh its Johnny by the way” he introduced himself then points at the corner of the bar letting you know where they’re seated.

“We can play truth or dares, body shots, anything you guys like” he offered. Your guy friends are down and so are the others, you didn’t have much of a choice.

“First game for tonight” your friend Mark exclaimed trying to fight the booming music the dj is playing, “is dares! No truths because that shit is boring.” Everyone was up for it and you cant believe that Mark came up with that game, not that you’re scared of anything.

Joy spins the bottle and everyone was quiet, waiting for the bottle to point the first lucky player.  The person who will give the dare is the person on your right. And to your surprise, you’re sitting with one of the strangers. A guy named Jaehyun.

Everyone seems to get along fine, Johnny and Mark looked like close friends already even though they just met. And the person beside you, Jaehyun, kept the drinks flowing, pouring tequila shots for everyone. And the other guy, Yuta, was a joker. Kept everyone laughing all the time.

When the bottle finally points at you, everyone cheered for you because Jaehyun is the one giving the dare.

“Oh don’t worry, she can do almost everything. Don’t go easy on her.” Your friend Wendy shouts to Jaehyun and all of your friends agreed. Again, dares don’t bother you. You find it really fun. During Wendy’s birthday, she dared you to kiss Mark for 10 straight seconds, and you did, you even bit his lips and put tongue in it.

Jaehyun clears his throat and proceeds to his dare for you, he’s reaching for 8 shot glasses and pours tequila on them, the glasses are full.

“I dare you, to finish these 8 tequila shots and kiss me after, I’ll be your lime”

Everyone went, “Ohh!” and cheered for you.

“Failure to do so, you’re punishment would be, paying for this whole bottle” everyone went crazy because Jaehyun kept on challenging you. You wanted to fight back and challenge him too, so you did.

“If I do everything you said, you’ll pay for everything tonight” you challenge back and everyone went even crazier. He added 2 more shots to make the shots 10, “deal.”

You went on drinking with a smile, confident enough that he’s going to pay for everything tonight and you will go home super wasted, Wendy should take care of you.

You down the first 4 shots fast, everyone was counting. “1! 2! 3! 4!” You glanced at Jaehyun taking the last 5 shots continuously without breaking eye contact. You took the last shot slowly, making him wait for the most awaited kiss. He’s smiling already, really impressed on how you handle your alcohol very well.

You came closer to him and kissed him. His hands are cupping your face so he can kiss you properly. The taste of tequila lingers in your lips, and the taste of lime lingers on his.

Everyone was counting and it has been 5 seconds since you started kissing each other. Jaehyun tried to pull away but you grabbed his head, encircling your arms around his neck and kissing him more. You hear nothing but the heavy music, and you cant stop kissing his soft lips. This time you pulled away.

“Y/n you wild girl!” You hear them cheering, as if they cant believe what just happened. Everyone is speechless but somehow made them howling.

Going back to Jaehyun, you remind him the deal, “We’ll Jaehyun, you owe us” He nods with a smile on his face very satisfied with what you did.

As Mark introduced another game, you excused yourself and went to the comfort room. I cant believe I just kissed someone looking like a mess, you told yourself. You removed the small lipstick smudge on your face and straightened your dress. To your surprise Jaehyun is waiting for you just outside the ladies room.

“Hi” he started.

“Good game” is all you can say, not actually wanting to talk to him any longer so you walked passed him.

“Y/n can we...” you stopped and turned towards him again. “Can we continue what we started earlier?”

Wha he said startled you. If you’re really being honest, he kissed you really good and you wonder what other things he’s good at.

You can’t believe you agreed, leaving your friends at the bar, Jaehyun paid for all the drinks as promised. He took you to a fine hotel, a rather decent and expensive one for a hook up.

When you’re finally alone with him, he kissed you wildly not like how he kissed you earlier, it was wet and breathtaking, your lips burn from his biting. Discarding your sexy black dress, you caught Jaehyun admiring you. You unbuttoned his black buttoned down shirt, not leaving his lips.

Careful not to bump on anything, he walks you towards the room and gently pushed you on the perfectly made bed ready to be ruined and stained. You throw pillows at him trying to let him catch you in the huge bed but he catches you immediately, hovering on top of you. Savouring your soft skin, he gently kisses your shoulders down to your breast licking and kneading it already. You unclasp your bra from behind, Jaehyun throwing it somewhere in the huge bed and continued what he was doing with your breast.

Wet kisses trails all over your body, Jaehyun kissing your hard nipples making it even harder, “You have nice nipples” he whispers in between  biting and licking your breast, all you can do is moan and run your fingers to his soft hair.

You feel him coming down slowly between your legs, leaving soft kisses on your abdomen and playing with your pink lacy panties. Teasing your clothed entrance, he removes your underwear slowly leaving you fully naked under him.

“On the scale of 1-10, how drunk are you?” He asked and waits for your answer before continuing.

“.5” you answer with a giggle, telling him you’re not drunk and all is good he can fuck you senseless. He let out a small giggle, showing his cute dimples before teasing you again. Looking at you straight in the eye while his fingers make you feel good. He looked hot and ethereal, almost looked like a sex god you thought.

He spreads your legs even wider and plays with your slit more before he removes his pants. He has a great body you thought, Jaehyun looked like a model who came out straight from a magazine. His Calvin Klein underwear makes him ten times hotter.

“Y/n you’re staring” he snaps out of you.

You gasp as you remember that your legs are wide open in front of him, trying to close them but he stops you. He grabs your legs, and dragged you down, leaving your legs dangling on the side of the bed. He’s in between your opened legs, you came closer to him, Jaehyun made you touch his perfectly sculpted body. You look into his eyes when your hand made its way to his growing crotch, he’s hard already.

You kissed his abdomen playing with his Calvin Klein underwear before removing it. His cock sprung free, almost slapped your cheek. You lick it for a the mean time leaving Jaehyun weak. You feel him trembling already but that didn’t stopped you from blowing him. You took him slowly, pushing his cock in your mouth your tongue doing wonders inside. You sucked him good and you made sure you never let go of his cock putting him on edge over and over again. Fucked up Jaehyun is so hot and he’s sweating already, hair cover his beautiful face from looking down at you.

Looking in his eyes when you feel hes about to come, you focused on licking and sucking the head of his cock, slowly and very slowly you push back taking him full in your mouth again then he cums. You felt him cum, a lot a and you swallowed looking into his eyes.

You winked at him and he pushed you back to bed growling while kissing your neck, hands all over your body. Kissing your lips again wilder than ever, biting your nipples making you moan with a soft, “ouch.”

You can feel his cock hard again poking your thigh, you hum stroking and teasing it again. “Cant get enough of my cock?” He whispers, leaving wet kisses or your neck.

His hand went between your bodies and you can feel him stroking his cock teasing, your entrance. “Oh wait” you stopped for a second, “condom” you remembered.

He sighed and and puts his forehead on top of your breast, that gave you tingles.

“I dont have one” he said, very disappointed with himself.

“Aaw. Too bad, I have one” you teased him again, his mood went back, “check my purse” he quickly get off the bed and grabs your purse.

Watching Jaehyun rolls the condom on his thick cock, your mouth waters about the things you want him to do with you. “Its only one so we’ll have to make the best of it” he said hovering on top of you again.

You bit his lip followed by kissing it with your tongue to put him on momentum again. It worked. Checking your slit if you’re still wet, he lines he’s cock to your pussy and slammed right in without any warning.

“Ah - you didn’t warned me!” You screamed, almost 100% sure you scratched he’s back with your long nails.

Fucking you slowly now, Jaehyun says his sorry while he’s making you feel good. You moan, when he change his pace from fast to slow taking his time on you, putting you on edge.

“Do you want me to spread my legs more?” All he did was kiss you hungrily as a form of answer. His right hand is on your left thigh, making you spread even wider and stopping your legs from closing at the same time. His other hand is all over your body like it has a life on its own, making you suck his thumb and puts it on your clit. The sudden action made your hip jolt, and your right thigh kicking on the sheet below. You moan beside his ears, letting him know how good he is.

Your hands are encircled around his neck, making him focus in you. Looking him in the eye while he thrusts hard and deep and your boobs bouncing up and down beneath him.

Searching for more feeling, addicted to everything Jaehyun does to you, you made him suck your right thumb while looking into your eyes, he gave you a wink and suddenly you felt your lower abdomen tighten, your eyes roll back and your body archs. You heard him giggle because he knew what he did to you.

With your long nails, you never intend to scratch Jaehyun’s back but he’s fucking you now through your orgasm, not letting go and his thrust got harder and sharper

“Jaehyun!” You moan his name, spreading you legs even wider trying your best to get out of the overstimulation.

Wanting to see his beautiful face, you raked your fingers to Jaehyun’s beautiful hair scratching his forehead accidentally.

He came closer to you, whispering sweet things and making you laugh while he fucks you nonstop. “You’ve been hurting me quite a lot, am I going to be alive after this?” You laughed but it turned out to be a load moan, he’s now kissing and bitting your nipples again as he picked up his pace.

Your head moving from side to side, gripping on his back more because of the changed pace. He bit the skin of your left boob a little too hard, it actually stings, maybe a little blood but you don’t care.

You grabbed his face and kissed him to prevent him from biting you again, and just a glanced to Jaehyun’s perfect fucked up face made you cum again trembling and shivering under him, moaning his name telling him to stop. But of course he didn’t, he chased his own orgasm and cums right after you.

“Oh, y/n” he moans, almost sounded like he’s about to cry. He pulls out immediately after he cums and discarded the condom, throwing into the trash bin. You pant, while trying to pull the white duvet to cover your shivering body but you’re just too weak. Jaehyun kissed the top of your head and covers your body, soon joining you in bed to give you heat.

Warm enough to make your shivering stop, you cling to Jaehyun so much, you can smell his body soap.

Forcing to get up, Jaehyun didn’t expect you to leave him so soon. As much as you wanted to stay, you cant.

With trembling legs, you forced yourself to collect you clothes and put them on again. Jaehyun looks for his underwear, and wears it again.

Not wanting to lose your touch so soon, he was planning to convince you to stay with him tonight. To his surprise he felt your cold hands on his waist, gripping it softly from behind it made him blush and smile so big his ears are turning red.

“Im sorry” He heard you apologising, but he didn’t know exactly why.

“What? Why are you apologising all of a sudden?” He asked, still not feeling the sting caused by the scratches that you made on his back. It almost looked like some type of animal scratched Jaehyun’s back, and you feel sorry because that animal was you.

“Jaehyun Im sorry. Wait please sit down” you exclaimed, pretty sure he doesn’t know whats happening.

You went to the bathroom to grab the first aid kit and some wet towels. You keep on apologising to him while you check the wounds, cleaning it with the wet towel.

Its weird how he’s smiling, maybe he enjoys rough sex but you’re certain that you can’t leave without tending his wounds.

Grabbing his face with both of your hands, scanning for other wounds. He’s quite startled he thought you’re going to kiss him, and you notice his ears are burning red it made you worry more. You pressed the wound on his forehead, he let out a loud “ouch!”

You’re still not wearing your dress, just your bra and underwear and to be honest Jaehyun thinks your hot while you’re tending his wounds. He tries to hide his growing erection, trying to avoid from being embarrassed.

“Im sorry. I couldn’t control myself” you put a bandaid on the scratch you made on his forehead still feeling sorry.

You’re too focused on feeling sorry you didn’t notice Jaehyun is smiling sweetly, he notice the bruised he cause on your boob and he suddenly panicked.

He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t want to just grab your boob and put a bandaid on it he thought that’s rude. So instead, he apologised and told you that its bleeding. “Don’t worry about it, its just a small scratch I can manage” you said while putting on some clothes again.

“Why cant you stay? And sleep here beside me?” Jaehyun blurted out.

“Its not that I don’t want to... but I have class in the morning and I have to be in school really early” you fix your hair in mirror near the bathroom. “Don’t you have class or anything?”

“The last time I attended class was 8 years ago? I think?” He went back under the covers looking like a god with his left hand behind his head, his muscles flexing.

But what you heard made you shook your head, it made you dizzy for some reasons. You opened a bottle of water and handling one to Jaehyun thinking he might want some.

“So you’re telling me, we’re not on the same age bracket?” You asked not wanting to believe what you’re hearing from him. “Did you know that I’m younger than you?” You asked almost shouting at him.

“Hey, hey. Calm down.” He asks of you, “Believe me I’m almost as shocked as you are, but I don’t think there’s something wrong with it? Were both adults already”

“I had sex with an older man” you said to yourself, biting your nails while siting on a chair facing the bed. “How old are you again?” You asked Jaehyun, your frustration already visible.

“30-“

“Oh fuck!” You shouted, “Im only 23!” You shouted again not looking at him.

He’s giggling and he doesn’t looked like he’s bothered at all.

You gathered your false bravery, and you apologised to him. Telling him it was a mistake, “woah, woah, woah!” He stopped you from what you’re about to tell him.

“You’re making me feel really old right now. After giving me the best blowjob of my life and having sex with me just a few minutes ago, now you’re apologising?” He still looked calm.

“It’s just- It’s not my thing. Hooking up to guys older than me... Way older than me” you’re head starting to ache.

He let out a soft laugh, runs his fingers to his beautiful black hair and crossed his arms, “Well for someone younger than me, you seemed well spoken and mature” he bit his lower lip, “and for someone so young, you seem good in bed like really good. You almost made me cum so fast” He praised you trying to make you calm.

You put your hair up on a messy bun, making you ten times hotter. Jaehyun smiles again while watching you walk around the hotel room but felt a slight disappointment when he sees you putting on your heels.

The atmosphere was quiet and all you here is the sound if the ac in the hotel room, “Please. Mr. I had a really great time, but I really need to go”

So thankful that he didn’t stopped you from going home, Jaehyun thought he didn’t have any right to make you stay. He was scared to make you angry and to make you feel more guilty, so he let you go. For now.

And you left. You left Jaehyun in that cold hotel room, after he made you feel so good you’re almost positive you’ll never have a good fuck like that ever again. ................................................. Masterlist

[thedankfaerie]

i am posting this here because i am tired of burdening my boyfriend with my feelings. this is a little nsfw. and this is my call for help. i dont know who to talk to anymore about this.

i need someone to hear what i feel

or at least, a free space to say what i feel 

im in a low place. i feel so awful about myself and my body and i hate this feeling. i hate that this time last year, i was so happy about the way i looked. i was working this awful job that had me so overworked and overtired and poorly treated that i skipped meals and slept through meals regularly... i lost so much weight from stress in just a year and was the skinniest i had ever been. mentally, i was not in a good place being exploited by my managers... but my self esteem re: my body was at a new level i never knew could exist for me.

last year, i felt powerful and confident about my body, and i expressed that through sexuality. i was fucking my ex that i still liked (i grew out of wanting him back, but he never did, and it was nice to have the upper hand). i was also fucking an old fwb that i stayed friends with, that was also recently single, so we reunited again at the perfect time. i was also seeing this one guy (now my boyfriend) so if ever i got tired of the sex i at least was able to calm down and settle down with someone who genuinely wanted to know me. of course, i ended up catching feelings for this guy, and cut off the other two to pursue something more serious (we are now dating and are moving in together next month!) anyways, it was so nice to be wanted. to feel... i guess sexy? sex is empowering. and it shouldn’t be taboo to say that as a woman, or anyone really. i dont want to give off the message that a woman’s validation is fueled by men’s desire - but hey, don’t you feel flattered when someone thinks you’re attractive? desire and lust aren’t everything... but they matter. and they have an impact on how you feel about yourself, whether or not you believe me when i say that is up to you. 

 and i hate that i would gladly put myself through the stress that i did just to feel happy about my body. before the summer ended, i finally had enough and i quit my shitty job. i was jobless for a month, but was able to enjoy the rest of the summer with my new ‘skinny’ body - last year i took my first bikini picture ... a 2 piece! i have never done that. i still think about how happy i was that summer to look and feel good about myself. 

i have struggled with self esteem issues since highschool. i always felt like i was too big. i used to follow all these blogs of pretty people and try to copy their poses to feel pretty and i used to spend hours after school trying on short dresses and clothes to stare at my body in the mirror. i used to starve myself to the point of literally wanting to faint on the daily, until finally i admitted it to one of my teachers. she respectfully asked if i wanted to speak with the school guidance counsellor, and i declined. but she encouraged me to speak up to at least a friend, so i did, and it helped, and for a long time, i was okay. after i graduated that teacher still checked up on me for a few years every now and again.

4th year university was when i realized how much i had let myself go. i was the heaviest i had ever been, it was my graduating year, i was looking for a job and was always worried about my grades. every time i was stressed or every time i needed to study i bought pad thai and bubble tea. a ritual. i didnt realize how much that had caught up to me until i saw old pictures of myself. at this point, i started my (shitty) job, straight out of graduation.

i actively avoided scales, i didn’t like looking at the number because it just made me upset. and i already felt upset looking in the mirror, i didn’t need something else to make me upset. but i did. and i was 20 pounds heavier than i was in highschool - the heaviest i had ever been.

i cried.

i didnt do much about it. i was too busy. my first job out of uni was a brand new daycare and i was head teacher of a toddler class - also i was the only staff on floor since there were not as many kids. there was nobody to train me, at all. i had to teach myself everything. i had no time. 

a little while before starting the job, i met this guy. he was so hot, but such a dick - we had a “thing” but it was so toxic. he started off interested in me, but i turned him down. his attitude changed and he started being a douche, but we became friends because we were seeing each other so often. i didn’t have a car yet. he was driving me everywhere. he lived 5 minutes away. he was the type of friend that would text me “im outside, lets go out”. we hung out as friends at first, we would have “study dates”, until we started hooking up. we acted like a thing but he denied we were ever one - but got mad at me whenever i tried to look elsewhere. but i guess in that time, it was nice to be wanted, especially by someone so attractive. 

but again, a year in that shithole job went by fast. i would stay late after work. i would come in on weekends. i was expected to not only help new kids transition, but train new partners. and given that my supers refused to support me, i watched a lot of people quit due to pressure. i had to keep retraining. and kids kept coming. that never stopped. i can honestly say my class wasn’t settled until december, and i started in september. everyday it was ‘its fine, it will get better’. 

a year in that shithole, with 0 support, and i lost all the weight i gained - and more. i was the skinniest i had ever been. even in highschool. i looked at old pictures of myself from when i started the job at my heaviest. i couldnt believe that was me. and i was so happy looking at myself in the mirror. for once! 

after i quit that job, i started another job that i hoped would be a happy ending.

and it wasn’t. it stressed me out just as much. i also moved out by this point, a month after i started this job. my hours are whack. 7-9, 11:30-6. i woke up early and got home late. i never had free time. my last shift at my old job was 7-3:30 and i had the whole day to myself. im someone that needs social interaction and alone time, and by the time i got home i was so tired, i would just cook, clean, shower, and go to bed. and that was my life. sometimes i would get so tired that i couldn’t cook, i just went and ate out. i tried to make personal time with my friends after work but by the time i reached their house, it was late, and places were closed. and id have to leave early anyways because i had work early the next day... so fast food was the only way to make this work. on top of this, this was the most difficult class that i had ever had. the kids behaviours’ were so difficult and i couldn’t handle it. i would cry in my car 3x a week. i would cry 4 minutes before my shift starts in the washroom and walk out and pretend i was okay. i would have my boyfriend come over as much as i could just so i could cry in his arms. i couldnt leave this job because i had just moved out and having a consistent rent payment was a huge responsibility for me. as well, if you know anything about ECEs in canada, just know we make shit pay. but this job pays me better than most ECE jobs... by a landslide. AND gives me benefits, which is so hard to find. i am still at this job - i was at my breaking point at the time covid started, so i was rejoicing when we closed for covid. i havent worked since march, but i needed that time off so desperately. 

with that being said, i gained the weight back.

not everything, but i definitely could tell i was packing on some pounds.

cue covid.

i havent worked since march. i fell back into a lazy routine of ordering fast food. lying in bed. resting. just enjoying NOT dealing with my difficult class. 

but i gained it all back. and i think im back at my heaviest weight. i picked up all my summer clothes from last year from my moms... half of them dont fit me. my favourite pair of shorts won’t close. i just sat and cried in a mess of clothes on my floor in front of the mirror. this was last week.

im trying to tell myself, ‘you’re in the middle of a global pandemic, go easy on yourself’... but do you know what it’s like to finally get what you’re chasing, and have it be taken away from you? i finally had a taste of what it was like to look AND feel good about myself. something ive wanted since i was a teenager...and it’s gone. it’s my fault and i accept that, so please don’t tell me i did this to myself. i know i did. but i can still be upset about it. i look in the mirror and i try to suck my stomach in and pretend nothing changed but its not the same. i see old pictures of myself, especially that bikini pic. ironically, i captioned it “i will never have the confidence to take a bikini pic again”... and here we are. i look at the clothes i wore last year and remember how fucking good i felt wearing them. i try putting them back on and seeing my stomach bulging and my arms looking fat and my love handles, something i didn’t see last year. and i just take them off and opt to wear something frumpier that doesnt hug my figure.

i try to tell people about how i feel but i cant take those ‘love yourself and all your flaws’ campaigns seriously. i dont think i can listen to another ‘you have to just keep faking it until you make it and if u just tell urself ur beautiful u will feel beautiful!’

because if you’re me, you know you cant kid yourself. if you’re me you can’t ‘love every flaw’. you fixate on them. and you let them define you. and if youre me, flaws are all you see.

i hate myself for getting back to this point. 

i have a very supportive boyfriend that knows about all this, who is trying to actively get me to go on runs with him. we are trying to go for walks more and be out and about. he reminds me of little things, like if we are getting bubbletea he will suggest i go with less sugar. he is trying, we are trying. and i appreciate him so much.

today i complained in my car about this to my boyfriend, again. for the millionth time. and he still was supportive. but i just feel like i cant keep doing this to him. he said something today, which i think was him trying to give me a reality check to show me that i cant just wish i could starve myself and overwork myself to lose weight and call it a day... but it stung. he said “i don’t want to be with someone that’s not healthy. i have standards too” and i realized then he deserves so much better than to fucking babysit my complaining ass. i am 24. and i shouldnt be putting this on him. he is an adult with problems just as real as mine and i shouldnt be burdening him with this anymore. 

im scared to talk to him about how that comment made me feel, because he’s so right, and he has every right to leave me. i would honestly. the amount that i worry and fixate on all my flaws and complain and have crying breakdowns about this is not fucking normal. and it shouldnt be his problem. i just want him to be with someone that doesnt give him this baggage. he met me in my ‘prime’ days when i just started getting my skinny body last year. when we finally started dating, we were super sexually active. and i mean, having sex like 15 times a week. im not kidding. now we havent had sex in almost an entire month. i dont feel sexy anymore and its impacting my sex drive.. he tries to start it with me and i just can’t because i feel like he is probably repulsed by my body. this is a huge huge huge problem, seeing as sex was a huge part of our relationship (we are very emotionally in tune with one another, but sex was a great addon because we both love it so much). i hate the way i look without clothes on. i cant bring myself to do it because it makes me feel like shit about myself.

but we are moving in together next month. and that is a huge step. and i am worried that i will never change, and he’s going to feel like he’s stuck with me because he’s moving 40 minutes away from his hometown to live with me. i almost want us to break up so he can be with someone with less baggage but i also love him and i want to be better for him and for us. 

someone please help me. 

[gayspock]

16, 27, 37, 44, 47

27. who is your favorite voice actor?joshua ilon has the most intoxicating voice imaginable. 

37. what’s a favorite podcast that’s no longer airing?

WOLF 359

44, what nonfiction podcasts do you listen to? not many! i need to get into more tbh & would be open to recommendations  actually (not sawbones, or any true crime / mystery podcasts tho)…1. my brother my brother and me2. badvertising3. wonderful4. run: a doctor who fancast5. let’s make a music!  6. long ago, i liked cool games inc but obviously not any more7. i also got into data skeptic for a while but i havent been following it :pensive:

47. do you have headcanons about how characters look? if so, what? i cant go into extreme detail bc that would take SO long, but mostly characters fall on a scale for me, and if u asked me i could give u specifics, but . to give some examples OF THE EXTREMES (theres more, but..):

examples of ppl i dont have a CLUE on, and are literally formless figures:kepler from wolf 359, sasha from rqg, byrdie&rowan from tup,  trexel from stellar firma, sasha&georgie&melanie&others from tma,

examples of kids whose exact facial features i can describe to you in extreme detail right down to the angle of their fucking nose:juno from tpp, daisy&basira from tma, lucretia&barry&merle&angus from taz, lovelace&eiffel from wolf 359,  and grizzop&azu from rqg, x from gis

16 has to go under the cut because i have a LONG response

16.  do you prefer audio diary format or radio show format?OKAY THIS IS A HOT TAKE, but! kind of… not that big of a fan of either? most likely, there’s a podcast out there that handles either of these brilliantly, but in MOST  cases I feel like shows always try to set up an audio diary/radio show because its cool and immersive in theory but then it gets unsustainable and restricting as the show grows. so they either: 1) drop it which is fine but… when that’s the case, i dont define the show by being in whichever format. 2) keep it, but it starts not to make much narrative sense, as they force situations that are either unlikely, limited and just a little clunky.

both of which are FINE (i mean, the latter is a little yugh) especially bc. i understand that podcasts arent always fully thought out, and take time to get used to because its quite an experimental medium for some people and/or theyre small startups that dont expect the traction. like i said, wolf 359 is one of my favourite podcasts ever, and i dont at all hold it accountable for dropping the audio diary format or hate it for it?? and its not even like me genuinely criticsing it for starting it off like that, bc i dont think its a BAD thing.

but what im referring  to here is shows that explicitly stick this format and….like i said, i dont think ive ever experienced a show that  does this!! and in a lot of cases, it generally feels like they picked it up as a gimmick and/or hadnt fully thought carefully about the ways a show would pan out (*not saying they’d need to know the full plot, but in terms of like a general direction  if that makes sense? bc those are two different things). i REALLY, REALLY want to hear a show that uses one of these formats, and actually utilises its potential and incorporate it properly as the plot progresses in a cool and/or interesting way. likee i think making it either, just for the sake of it, is really unsatisfying and i just want one that sticks to its guns!! because thats what would make these formats actually SUPER COOL and let them land!

tma is the one show that did really well with staring with a limited format, and managed to actually incorporate it into the narrative and give some meaning to the fact that what we’re listening to, is something thats actually in-universe. and i think thats because jonny sims actually thought about it, and so there was a Purpose to it being told via tapes rather than just doing it that way for the sake of it. which YEAH. thats the kinda shit im talking about that makes it go off, babey!

[snkpolls]

SnK S3E04 Poll Results (Manga Reader Version)

The poll closed with 407 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that this is the results of the manga reader poll. Anime only watchers are suggested not to read if you do not wish to be spoiled about certain events! Anime only viewers, click here to view your poll results!

Rate the episode

Overall, respondents gave the episode high ratings, with 90% total feeling that it was at least very good. The pollsters are very happy to see these ratings improve!

The episode felt short. I wanted more after watching it :)

The pacing of this episode was much better than the first two

We're only on episode 4 and about to enter the climax of the arc, not sure how I feel about this.

Very good. I hope that the skipped scenes appear in a later episode.

It was pretty neat. Sometimes stuff is a touch slow, but I know it’s all a lead up to what’s to come, and like, it’s important to have stuff that is slow sometimes so the big stuff feels even bigger.

This recent episode found a little boring to me. I feel like there's wasn't much action less Levi

Bruh I need the next episode like rn

Did you notice the subtle changes made to the animation in the OP this week?

Less than a quarter of respondents initially noticed that there was something different about the OP this week. However, just over half noticed them upon a second watch or seeing it pointed out by others.

I didn't notice the changes in the opening because I always skip it.

Which of the following scenes were your favorites?

Hange and Moblit taking out the MP’s won by a good margin. The runner up is Spider-Hange. Levi and Mikasa reacting to Kenny’s last name, Levi interrogating the Central MP and Jean testing Marlowe and Hitch were also very loved moments!

The moments between Jean and Marlowe is one of my favorites. That was really fantastic and Marlowe is going to be a wonderful SC member. Too bad he will die later. I was really upset about it while reading the manga. He was such promising and brave guy.

I enjoyed the moment when Erwin asked Nile about Marie. It felt like he still had some feelings to her. I wonder if they're going to go back to this topic later (in flashbacks). Probably not.

This episode was so fucking amazing after the exposition heavy episode 3! I have literally waited years to see Hange taking down that MP animated, shit, the way she just casually like ducks away from the bullet... I used to keep staring at the badassery in that manga panel and now I am watching it on repeat, Wit got that scene so perfectly right!!

My whole life has lead up to this moment with Hitch and Marlo!!! Bless WIT for doing so good by my precious MP!

It was hilarious when 3MPs ran on the ground to chase Flegel while they are equipping ODMG. It was even funnier when one of them cried for joy catching Flegel without using ODMG.

Faithful to the manga with a healthy combination of action and world-building. LOVED Flegel's "I'm the boss" scene.

Erwin’s VA was superb! I was close to tears during the scene when he and Nile were talking.

Who made the best face when ambushing the MP base?

Connie won by a landside! There was no contest here, folks. 

How bangable was Levi this episode on a scale of 1-5?

As expected, over half of respondents would love it if Levi totally wrecked them. Although there are still quite a few of you who would rather he not. 

LEVI DADDY PLEASE STEP ON ME!

Levi in the moonlight was everything I never knew I needed.

Levi cutie crazy ass bitch

Levi. Le-vi. LEVI.

On a scale of 1-5, how distressed were you to see Erwin beat up and chained?

More than half of respondents are anxious to see Commander Handsome out of chains and cleaned up! 

How Erwin can kneel before them on his own? When he knows how horrible they are that they made decisions that killed his father? How can he be like that? Oh just take my heart away already! It's not that I need it…

Also, seeing my husband all beat is tragic and seeing him hanging was far too distressing and I know what’s going to happen in this season, but I want to pretend it isn’t happening and that he might be happy when he reunites with Levi

Erwin also manages to look hot not matter how beat up he is, which isn't even fair.

I love Erwin and he deserves the world.  That is all.

Are you feeling better or worse about the season so far?

Most voters either felt great about the season from the beginning or have started to warm up to it a lot more! There is still a small percentage of those who are still unsure or unhappy, however. 

Feeling alright overall about it but disappointed about some parts being rushed/skipped

I did not like the first two episodes, but now that the pacing has slowed I’m starting to like the episodes better. Still salty about the first two though.

I knew I was going to love it just because it's AOT, but I won't know how much I love it until I've seen how they handle the RtS arc

I havent feel good, still dont feel good but its better than before, so a combo of the 2nd and 4th option

I'm loving the episodes, but I'm still unure about some of the removed scenes, specially the ones involving Historia and Levi COS i swear to dead Marco if they do not animate Levi's smile im gonna riot

I'll wait until this arc is over to cast any judgement. However, I do wish they would've expanded the Reeves' storyline. It kinda fell flat for me in the anime.

Was unsure at first with all the changes from the manga, but have come to accept that some things are gonna be different so I'm just gonna enjoy it as it is. At the end of the day, it's still Attack on Titan so I'll always enjoy it.

I’m just happy we’re getting this season at all

I never thought they could make the uprising arc funny and interesting

Instead of attacking the Centrap MP HQ, Squad Levi ambushed a small outpost on the outskirts of Trost instead. Did you like this change?

Nearly half of respondents were okay or even preferred this change. 36% are let down that there was no slicing and shooting though. Chin up guys, the cave is coming soon! 

I always thought it was a little confusing that squad Levi would go all the way out to the central base, so I think this made more sense because of how they're still on the run. The anime version feels a lot more like they could be caught at any second, which is great!

I was looking forward to the 104th's subtle distressed reactions after having done what they had to do. But I guess the anime is not for subtle.

I'm not sure if replacing the newfound edge from the SC by a lulzy moment was a right choice. I feel like we're losing the grim aspect of the SC not being good guys anymore.

I didn't even remember how the manga handled that, so I didn't notice the change.

I honestly like both situations

While i did want to see the gang cut up peoples legs,  the anime version made more sense and I'm down for any Springlestein.

While the cart charge was hilarious, I'm not sure why a small outpost would know anything about Eren and Historia's location.

I quite honestly didn't notice the difference, the real attraction was Levi fucking the old boy's shit up

While I hopedd they'd make it bigger, after watching the episode I grew to like it, it makes sense both geographically and in terms of the scale of the event.

Oh lol I totally expect them to go ahead and get the Central MP HQ next. I mean, didn't they also do that so that the MP's couldn't mobilise and come to Kenny/Rod's defense later on?

Were you expecting there to be more focus on the press?

Most respondents were expecting to get Hange’s talk with the press prior to exposing the Military Police. A few are certain it’s lost not, while a good 30% are hopeful that we’ll still get it in another way. 

By making the newspaper Trost local, their presence didn't need to be explained, and some aspects from their talk from 60 can be merged with the little moment from the Rookie from 61 after Erwin's trial so as to not be redundant.

The talk with Hange and the press will no doubt happen next episode.

Having a flashback would be good, but I don't have much faith in them doing it

Indifferent to it, doesn't make much difference to the overall plot.

we will get them though not in a flashback half the arc has been rearranged remember.

I NEED Hange brooding on a desk in the press office, it's an important part of my spiritual development

I hope we get more Peaure :(

Which scene from the PV are you most looking forward to next week?

At 41%, the largest group is most anticipating getting a flash of Frieda in the mirror. It’s about time we get to see her in anime form after all these years, right? The remaining three scenes are at an even split. 

Since we’re getting Frieda in the mirror, do you think there will be a flashback to the conversation about Eren’s experiments?

To build off of the previous question, over half of respondents are anticipating the potential for the bedside flashback to happen after all. 35% are optimistic that it will definitely happen, while 11% believe we’re getting Frieda flash in another way. 

I'm hoping the Frieda content doesn't come across as too rushed in the next few episodes. In the manga, almost a year passed between the first Frieda flashbacks and Rod's full story in the chapel underground, but it seems Frieda's anime debut will be only an episode or two before the story. Still looking forward to how it all plays out!

Where do you primarily discuss the series?

Additional thoughts on the episode?

*chanting* STICK! STICK! STICK! STICK!

the changes are fine, doesn't stray too far from the manga. Maybe also makes the anime less of a drag.

Connie had goofy hat. All my stanards has been pleased.

Finally the pacing slowed down to a human level. I'm happy to see so much of Erwin, but it still pains me how he is characterized.

HITCH WITH THE STICK HOLY HELL. Honestly that whole fight scene between Hitch, Marlowe and Jean exceeded my expectations (hopefully not sounding too much like a worshiper). I just love it (probably too much).

Hanji can punch me and I’ll thank her

I MISS EREN AND HISTORIA

I can't believe Flegel sat on the dude's face lol.

Why did Not!-Marco not look like Marco at all?

I don't have a great memory of manga events but I'm feeling shocked - as though the anime is really rushing through events, so I feel worried now!

I love it. The animation when Hanji and Moblit attacked the MP was spectacular. The animators have continuously outdone themselves this season so far.

I'm not sure about my feelings and impressions about this season so far. I got disappointed before with other mangas adaptations, and now, I don't feel like trusting WIT for the moment, until I see some logical modifications.

When it was announced that there would be changes made I was skeptical and thought that the manga was perfect the way it was. Oh boy was I wrong. While I am still angry about some scenes, others just make more sense. I think wit is doing a great job.

Only thing that makes me sad is that Armin's glorious gesumin expressions weren't animated till now.

Honestly so excited to 24 episodes this time not 12. But still proper sick episode.

I've mentioned it on Tumblr before, but while I like how things have been centralized around Trost in this version of Uprising, it does cause an issue. How did Erwin, his captors, and Nile all get from Trost to Mitras in the space of a single morning? They military police either has teleporting tech or an underground bullet train. Or Isayama really wants to replicate S7 of Game of Thrones with characters teleporting all over.

NEXT EPISODE WE’L GET OUR ACKERTALK!!!!!! Eeeeek!!!

No Kenny?! So what kind of episode was that?!

I enjoyed this chapter a lot. Can´t wait to see Eren again.

Well fuck. Manga readers, we know what happens at the reiss chapel

Thank you to everyone who participated! We’ll see you again on Monday!