#its like cathartic when theyre portrayed as fucking up

[clockworkcheetah]

no but like sometimes reading a fic where your fave is absolutely the one in the wrong and being an ass is good for the soul i promise

[noxiatoxia]

k so like, saw ur reply and got so flippin excited its unreal. thank you so much for the art tips btw :)) u are just so cooll for that

and ALSO LIKE I HAVE SO MANY MUCH OURAN THOUGHTS I CANT FUCKING FOcus especially referring to the shojo weasley twins auughh i have this one thats been eating at me for awhile.. (ive been really wanting to write a fic about it actually) cause i was reading up on codependent attachment styles and the more extreme ways they can manifest, particularly when things start getting delusional, and i started thinking like. kaoru and hikarus issues dont just solely stem from codependency, they literally never had a solid identity of their own. the whole "pretending to be the other" thing they do particularly irked me; they were each others shadow, so one of them couldnt even define their personality as separate through being "less than" or "the unnoticed twin" or something. they might as well have been one whole person to the outside world right? so like, how long before someone starts believing its completely true? like literally true. that this one person you are so desperately, suffocatingly tied to might as well have been yourself? and more importantly, what would happen if one day that person disappeared? what you would be left with, psychologically? would you start believing that you ARE that person now that theyre gone? or maybe not even that theyre really gone per say, youve just become them, or theyve become you? just to cope with the loss? and everyone would believe that youre actually them too, only reinforcing the delusion... you and your other half were identical, afterall.

okay its a really dark and angsty concept but like i live for the angst and im so so interested in the idea of them being separated for like excruciatingly long due to some really dire circumstances, maybe before they meet the host club? or maybe in this au im coming up with on the spot they never join the club at all? so theyre even MORE vulnerable to the consequences of something like this happening, and the need for the other steadily increases until they reach like a breaking point. what would that breaking point be? if/when they reunited, how unhealthy would the new anxious foundation for that relationship become? How possessive and/or protective would they get over each other and their shared identity as exclusively a couple? how scared would they be to even acknowledge themselves as individuals? how would their individual reactions differ? (i have A LOT of ideas but id love to know your thoughts) AND HOW FUCKING CATHARTIC WOUDL IT BE, IF AFTER ALL THAT, THEY GROW TOGETHER OUT OF THAT DARK PLACE?? THROUGH A STEADY JOURNEY OF LOVE AND HARDSHIP??? AND THEN JOIN THE HOST CLUB STARTING OUT AS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT DYNAMIC??? WHAT WOUDL THAT EVEN LOOK LIKE???? god i fucking need to write about thuiss ugghhh i need promptss anyway i know this was long lol but i am ACHING to hear some thoughts on this

HI DUDE HI!!!!!! firstly. your header. im looking at your blog header. i am holding a gun to your head. send me that image. i need it. i need it. what the fuuuck............WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!

OKAOKAY secondly...i also live for angst and exploring psychological effects n stuff which is a big part of why i love the twins' interactions. they are so mentally unwell it is insane.

I DO really like your commentary on how they are "each others shadow" because that is SO true. I know a lot of people portray kaoru as thinking he is "lesser" than hikaru and while i do think that's true, i think it's also true that kaoru knows (at least, until things started changing in highschool) that both of them were equally needed to "create" one person, at least that's how he viewed it. he specifically said "the one who isn't me is hikaru, and the one who isn't hikaru is me", implying the only difference between them was this undefinable trait of simply...they aren't the same person just because they have two different physical bodies. of course deep down they know they are different, at least kaoru does, but idk if they even realize how different they are. after all, being confused for another person your whole life and being interchangeable would fuck up anybody's self perception. in my personal opinion/theory, its only after the host club starts and differences between them become more noticable to the point not only themselves but the outside world, little by little, can start actually ascribing concrete and tangible traits to "hikaru" and "kaoru". I think it's at that point kaoru begins to think he's the "lesser" twin, or whatever.

anywho, BIG fan of the idea of one of them going missing/dead/etc etc and it affecting the mental health of the other big time. i've read multiple fics where one of the twins dies and the other twin just completely loses it, even begins to assume the identity of the dead twin as some sort of coping mechanism. it's horribly fucked up but that's what makes it so interesting.

what's interesting is, i have two different stories i wrote (well one at least, the other exists just in my head sigh) and in both of them, one of the twins either dies or is missing, and the effect leads the other twin to adopt more traits from their sibling.

to elaborate, i wrote a short story (less of a story, more of a whole premise post, you can find it on this blog it was to an ask i responded to) where kaoru passed due to taking his own life, and hikaru was left to pick up the pieces of that. the situation left him to be more introverted, secluded, and quiet, much like kaoru was. this included even picking up traits of his unknowingly, like blocking the world out by reading, something hikaru never really did but kaoru did a lot.

on the other hand, i have a fic i might write.....maybe.....some day.....where kaoru is forced to enroll in a different school separate from hikaru, and this includes living away from hikaru in a different estate (idk why their parents prob caught them engaging in incest who fucking knows with these two. do they know what they do in that club. surely they cant be cool with it). anyways, kaoru, feeling lost, scared, and indignant about being forcibly separated from hikaru and in an unfamiliar house, begins acting rude, snappy, and irritable. first day at the new school all he does is get in trouble with teachers and other students for being rude and instigating fights. he basically becomes full of raw emotions that he doesn't know how to handle and just. rages at people. kind of like hikaru would.

idk, i just think its an interesting concept, esp if their behavioral changes are not intentional and it just sort of...happens. could be a coping thing, who knows.

ughhh your concept tho..........exquisite. it reminds me of a fic i was writing here that....i need to finish.......where kaoru gets critically injured via an attempt on his life by someone and hikaru goes ballistic. but, taking that a step further, if something happened to one of the twins or they were, like u said, separated for a long time, i cannot IMAGINE how they would act once together again. somehow even more clingy and protective of one another i'd assume. hikaru would be very loud and obvious with how controlling and worried he is, just wanting to keep kaoru by his side 24/7, while kaoru i think would be quieter, just...silently following hikaru everywhere, being overtly anxious and voicing concerns over things that could go wrong all the time, generally not letting him leave his sight. the co dependency is real....