#sometimes people fuck up! and no amount of tragic backstory will make the person who they hurt suddenly become less hurt

[clockworkcheetah]

no but like sometimes reading a fic where your fave is absolutely the one in the wrong and being an ass is good for the soul i promise

[theveryworstthing]

So over on patreon Trevor asked for my take on the Addams Family and I grew up LOVING the Addams family movies so here we are. Instead of doing a straight up style interpretation, I decided to do a full on design challenge, using the characters as bases to make a black southern gothic Addams au. I actually drew the kids first, using the character bases of Wednesday and Pugsley to create some delightful kiddos I'm calling Sunday and Blanche. I of course then redesigned Gomez and Morticia into Carlisle and Mortesha.

The Addams have a very specific high aristocratic goth aesthetic (they've got a butler and nobody really works among other things) so in this re-imagining I wanted to go with vibes that run a little more middle class/upper middle class.  I thought it would be interesting to think about what would be considered weird and off-putting in an entirely different culture, and how being a big ol' goth is way less controversial than it used to be.

I tried to keep this short (HAHAHAHAHAHA) so I didn't spin off into an essay about villain coded families, black people in the horror genre, and normalcy as it pertains to social survival, but just...bits of that are in these designs and lore. Keep that in mind.

Also I made the kids twins because they've flip flopped in age so much in different media and also twins run in my family (i'm the daughter of one). And let's face it, I'm pulling a lot of their southern gothic traits from living as a southern goth so *shrug*.

10 thousand pounds of lore incoming loooooooooool.

The Parents

From the moment he saw her he knew that there was a 50/50 chance of him either never making it out of that swamp alive or marrying the figure that was creeping out from under the distant willow tree in a black cocktail dress. The third time she found him trussed up in one of her traps, he complimented her rope work and asked if she'd like to go out sometime after his head wound stopped bleeding.

Or while it was still bleeding.

If she was into that.

Some kids and a mysteriously burnt down Piggly Wiggly later, their love is still as strong and inescapable as a bear trap in a sink hole.

Carlisle Guillermo (now Addams through marriage but I wanted to give him two first names for a name since Gomez has two last names) makes a vaguely described living practicing ‘law’ around town. A loophole king, people come to him from miles around with contracts signed in blood, fights over chunks of hair buried in their rivals’ yard, dehydrated primate hands, memories that seemed like dreams until the evidence of their happenings became too real, and other regular Legal Items asking for counsel which he is all too happy to give. For a price. Sometimes that price is a homemade pie and sometimes it’s a million dollars, depends on who you are. Whatever you’re asked to pay it’s worth that price, and if you try to scam him out of work or he just plain doesn’t like you? Well. He knows how to twist a contract better than anything at the crossroads.

And he always gets his due.

He doesn’t just serve the local (living)humans though, there are many things that need proper legal representation in this day and age. You wouldn’t believe how many city councils try to build on sacred burial grounds even after he lets them know that his ghostly clients are totally gonna haunt the FUCK out of the ensuing shitty condos and curse their families for all eternity. At least 50% of his energy goes towards dealing with real estate bullshit.

Carl is an excitable and good natured(?) man who loves his family, cigars, dancing, and his many knife-based hobbies. People find him very charming once they get past the feeling that they’re talking to a sultry gator badly disguising itself as a human. I didn’t put a ton of deep thought into designing him, mostly I wanted to make a middle aged dude who looked like he would have been voted ‘most likely to smooch the literal devil’ in high school. Tbh he probably has, but no demonic ex’s can compare to his lovely wife~

Mortesha Addams(her name was already perfect so I just tweaked it)is a woman of many talents. A self proclaimed homemaker, she prides herself on a greenhouse full of Concerning Foliage, a beautiful wasp apiary, and a coop full of what are probably chickens that she keeps for what are probably eggs. She’s also an avid creator of the outsider art that can be seen around the estate. She has taken on the family business of selling her homemade goods in a little stall by the road just outside the swamp with her mom, and makes pretty good money doing so. A surprising amount of poison gets bought in quaint southern towns.

Speaking of poison, people who come out to the edge of the swamp to buy it are usually carrying a lot of secrets around, and Mortesha knows most of them. It’s not like she pries the truth out of people, it just so happens that many nervous hellos eventually turn into the tragic backstory power hour if she’s alone with a client for long enough. She supposes that’s just how people are. Despite the fact that the Addams are very active in the community (whether the community likes it or not) she especially, as a direct descendant of the first Addams matriarch, is seen as…Well not an outsider because the community feels A Certain Way about outsiders and despite it all the Addams are their people, but maybe something like an exception. They feel like whatever weirdness they’re hiding can’t be weirder than any given Addams, so they get a little loose with their words.

This is amusing to her, since Addams’ don’t naturally keep the kind dramatic secrets that their surface level prim and proper neighbors do. It’s much more fun to openly talk about those things.

Do they have a sadly decrepit yet terrifying grandma up in the attic? Yeah, like three. They got a tv, all the creepy porcelain dolls they could want, and they’re close to family. Where do you keep your gram-grams?

Any bodies buried on the property? Yeah some, but most are thrown to the gators.

Any creeping through the balmy summer night with ill intentions? Yeah dude, everyone loves a nice family stroll.

What about dangerous forbidden love? If an adult Addams isn’t incorporeal then they’re either queer or in a torrid romance with some person/thing mysteriously drawn to that awful swamp. Sometimes both at the same time. Most times actually.

Mortesha would know.

The current head of the Addams family is just as outgoing as her husband but a lot quieter and harder to read. She never really seems to get mad about much and always has a genteel smile for everyone whether they deserve it or not. A seven foot tall human shaped “Oh, bless your heart”. A perfectly composed Lady even when she’s, oh I dunno, burning down a Piggly Wiggly. You know. A regular southern mom. Chat her up at the hair salon for 50% off a jar of wasp honey with your next purchase of a mysterious but foreboding packet of herbs.

Designing her was pretty easy because I just drew a lankier Grace Jones and called it a day. I had some problems with her outfit simply because if we were going HARD southern gothic then she’d probably be wearing a white/cream dress with a fuller skirt but I thought keeping the silhouette and the black was more important. She’s supposed to be an anti southern gothic southern gothic character anyway. A woman who looks like she has a million secrets who is actually the most open person you could meet. For better or worse. The red hair came from a coloring error that I really ended up liking (my mom had red hair her whole childhood that only darkened up in high school so I can buy that an Addams can be naturally fire engine red) and the veil was to get more of that classic Morticia silhouette in there.

The Children

Sunday and Blanche are the twin children of Carlisle and Mortesha Addams. Some say the Addams clan got their cursed homestead when a wealthy local businessman made a deal with the devil and lost, leaving his grand mansion to his least favorite maid and cutting his losses once he realized that the swamp would do everything it could to drag the house into the water and take what was owed with its horrible curse. Others say that the family has just always squatted there and no one really cares because man, fuck that particular swamp. Have you been in there? Absolute horror show.

Anyway.

Blanche is the more outgoing sibling and quite the engineer/mad scientist in the making. He started going grey at 2 weeks old but considering he was also rocking some extra fingers, toes, and a tiny tail (he takes after his dad), his parents just put it on the 'not life threatening' pile and decided not to worry about it. He's the kind of smart that teachers find utterly infuriating, less a dog eagerly learning and obeying commands and more a hyena who keeps teaching itself how to pick locks. He has a few friends in his school's robotics club (which they honestly allowed him to make so the school could contain his... creations) but mostly hangs out with his sister exploring the swamp. They find all sorts of neat things in there! wedding rings, suspiciously lumpy garbage bags, cloaked cultists who can't read private property signs, it's an adventure every day!

Blanche is all about experimentation with his creations, his look, and his tether to this mortal coil. Is lipstick a cool thing to try? Let's find out. Can he get out of a strait jacket fast enough after being pushed into the depths of the swamp by his sister? let's find out. He's not dead yet and confused local doctors can attest to the fact that he's rarely attained more than a bad bruise so he's pretty set on continuing to kiss rattlesnakes on their cute little heads and have his sister practice her knife throwing at him until that fact changes.

Blanche is very much a country goth. Cowboy boots (customized by his mom), knife, and lighter are daily accessories. He likes to wear the crusty swamp jewelry they find (the rust adds a splash of color!) and despite appearances he does try to keep himself neat. He's just got  natural Grunge Colors and a tendency to wear clothes he likes until they fall apart. Pugsley always seemed the most modernly styled to me (which might just be because little boys clothes have been the same for a long time) so I wanted Blanche to be the most purposely fashionable Addams. Everyone else is goth by nature, but he's the only one truly familiar with goth as an alternative fashion.

I got really into designing Blanche because honestly, I find Pugsley to be the most boring member of the family. And he was hard to design! I had to mess with his vibe a lot to get him looking how I wanted. I know he's supposed to evoke an " 'evil' little boy next door who's parents never reign him in", but that's just goth Dennis The Menace.  I's 2020. We can at least go queer goth Calvin.

Sunday was much easier to design. Wednesday was my favorite as a child (of course) and I really wanted to keep the spirit of her look while adding things like billowy sleeves (it gets HOT down here), big poofy twists instead of braids, and a nice tie. She's a professional after all, been running the local pet cemetery since she was 6 and the previous groundskeeper met with an unfortunate accident after telling her that tarantulas don't have souls. Her specialty is creating beautiful naturalistic animal funerals similar to those that Maquenda (https://linktr.ee/artofmaquenda) makes, and she takes pride in creating miniature dioramas of her subjects after each burial which she uses as a kind of 3D catalog for future clients.

She really wants to try out her skills on humans one day. Well. Publicly try out her skills. Lotta random bodies float into the swamp. None of them have turned down her requests for diorama models so far. Most seem downright flattered. Plus, she usually figures out which graveyard/crime scene they floated over from and gets her parents to give them a lift back. She'll even help enact terrifying revenge from beyond the grave on whoever put them there if she's not, y'know, busy.

Besides arts, crafts, and pet based funerary arrangements, Sunday is an avid lover of archery (any ranged weapon really), books where little fantasy adventure animals die dramatic deaths, and history. She is That Kid who eagerly raises her hand when asked who Christopher Columbus was and ends up being sent out of class after 15 minutes for making 'a scene'. Her favorite party trick is just picking an item in the room and talking about how it relates to either some obscure historical figure with a buck wild life or a horrible disaster. At least one charity pancake breakfast ended with children in tears after her vivid description of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919.

Social-wise, while Wednesday is the girl that people ask to smile because they think she'd, "look so pretty", Sunday is rarely asked anything at all. People just kind of assume from her quiet nature (in between horrible history facts) that she's angry all the time and that she hates everyone. This is untrue. She hates some people but she's ambivalent to most everyone else and even downright friendly if you bother to talk to her like a person instead of a terrifying cryptid. Like, she IS a terrifying cryptid but she's also a little girl.  

That’s about it for now. One day I might do the other family members but for now I’m happy with the four I’ve redesigned. Making an au! Lurch in a family that doesn’t do butlers could be interesting. Over on patreon I put forth that he could just be Motesha’s mute little brother (similar bone structure) but Amy Crook had the nice idea of quote: “ a mysterious "cousin" that "helps around the house" whose origins are both long in the past and faintly unsettling. He's good for lifting heavy things, like that tank of propane you're about to throw into the burning Piggly Wiggly... “ which i now consider canon. Who's kid is he? How old is he? Not important. Anyone willing to commit arson with you is family.

Annnnyway.  This challenge was a lot of fun! I love indulging in AU’s.

[shurisneakers]

harmless (ix)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, sex jokes, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, anxiety

Word count: 3.9k

A/N: a lot of requests came in last week, so cool and thank you for sending them in!! i’ll try my best to write them if they weren’t originally what i had planned for this series bc they’re so cute kfjdghdf. also hey shoutout to @i-reblog-fics-i-like​ for suggesting the backstory thing! 

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Additional Scene   || Previous Part  || Series Masterlist

Hot single in your area! 😈  Find your solemate! 

Somehow it bypasses Bucky’s spam folder and is in his primary email. SHIELD tech is too advanced to let fake mails like this reach him and this doesn’t make sense. Unless it was one of the stupid dating websites he signed up for.

Leaving aside the obvious typo in the subject, he clicks on it, hoping it doesn’t unleash a virus onto his computer. 

He’s instead greeted with a poorly Photoshopped picture of you at a bar with a martini in your hand. He doesn’t have to look too hard to see that the martini is, in fact, an emoji. Off to a terrible start already. 

Right beside it is an even worse image, an imitation of an early Internet chat box.

Harbinger of Doom just sent you a message! 

Come to the empty lot near lair. Bring goggles. 😩💦

Decline/Accept

He wants to strangle you. 

______

“Why did you curse my eyes so early in the morning?” He spots you at the top of the lair, speaking loudly so that it hopefully reached you. 

“What?” you yell back down instead. “If you’re saying something, I can’t hear you.”

He rolls his eyes. He pulls his phone from his pocket and presses on your contact. 

He watches the look of confusion morph into one of slight surprise when you reach into your pocket and pull out your call.

“Don’t ever send an image like that to me again,” he says directly.

“If that one image is too much for you, how will we ever make our sex tape?”

His mouth opens and shuts like goddamn fish.

He can hear your laughter even without the phone.

“First of all- stop laughing- first of all, a sex tape is never going to happen. Second of all, I have a debriefing to go to, we need to make this quick.”

He holds up a finger when he sees you begin to say something. By the look of trouble painted all over your face, he knows it’s going to be a dumb innuendo. 

“Thirdly, why are you standing there?”

“I watched The Last Airbender,” you say once your cackling dies down.

“I like that show.” He did. Peter sometimes watched it when he came over and Bucky more often than not joined in.

“I know, you told me.”

Oh. 

“Okay, what now?” 

“Put your goggles on.” You take one step towards the ledge. 

“What are you doing?” The goggles don’t do anything to shield him from the sun, considering that they’re not tinted. Maybe he could invest in those.

You send him a smile, taking a step further. His walk towards the building turns into a jog, then a sprint when you’re basically standing on the edge.

You spread your arms out like Jesus Christ himself before flinging yourself off the building. His stomach drops.

His phone falls to the ground, discarded to the side as he sprints to break your landing. 

It never comes. 

Instead, a gust of wind smacks him in the face, forcing him a few steps backwards. 

“I am now an air bender.” your eyes shone. “Kind of.”

Just like that, the show was ruined.

He wipes the dust on from his glasses that he now understands why you made him wear. Considerate, for a person who nearly just gave him a heart attack. 

“Why.” It’s not even a question, just a statement. 

“You know how the Tower has a giant ‘A’ on the side?” 

He stares at you. 

“I‘m gonna spray paint ‘asshole’ on the side of it.”

Pepper would not like that. 

“That’s not even evil.”

“Yeah, but it’d annoy your super friends,” You do a flip midair, testing out the repulsors that were tied around your palms, “and I’m the voice of the people.”

You’re too high for him to reach. He doesn’t have his tools, or anything useful on him considering that he never had to use them before. He couldn’t even launch himself at you from the side of the building because you’d just move out of the way. He could jump really high but it would just have the same consequence.

He could talk and keep you distracted but that worked once, it wouldn’t again. At least not for long. 

Fuck, he really had only one option. 

He leaves you to do your somersaults and turns, walking over to where he dropped his phone. It’s an upgrade from the brick he was using a while ago, but not a high end Stark model. A smartphone, but barely.

He sighs, punching in the number and holding it up to his ear.

“Who are you calling?” you yell from above him. 

“Go back to your shitty aerobics,” he yells back.

You pause for a second. “Was that a fucking pun, James Bar-”

The dial tone ends when someone picks up. He diverts his attention back to the call.

“Hey man, I-

“No.”

“You didn’t even let me finish.”

“It’s probably something stupid,” Sam doesn’t even sound annoyed, just uninterested.

“I need your wings.”

“I was right. Bye.”

It was a long shot anyway.

“Fuckin’ hold on a second.” He sees you disintegrate a concrete block by having it drop from the air. “You come here and fix this, then. She’s air bending now.”

“...like Avatar?” Sam unsurprisingly got the reference. 

Peter’s interests were usually shared by everyone in the Tower, just because they had to compensate for the teasing he had to endure. It led to a lot of geeky documentaries and occasional musicals. Bucky wouldn’t be caught dead humming songs from Thoroughly Modern Millie under his breath. 

“Yeah.”

“You want me to come and fight your girlfriend,” he says slowly. 

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Bucky urges, “and yes, I need help. Can’t exactly reach her when she’s twenty feet above me.”

“We have a briefing in 30 minutes. Why did you even go there today?”

He doesn’t know how to answer that. Just looks up at you smacking one of the repulsors against your thigh when it sputters for a second. It’s tradition. 

“Well?” Bucky ignores his question.

“Fine,” Sam’s voice is distant for a second as he agrees. “Clint’s asking if he can come too.”

“Fuck no.” One of them was more than enough and Sam was way better at negotiation. 

He hears a faint profanity from who he assumed was Clint before the call cuts.

He takes a seat on the ground and waits.

“You’re not going to make any effort to stop me?” You have your arms pressed to your side, palms pointed downwards to keep you afloat.

 “I could just throw things at you again.” He makes a mention towards the small pebbles.

“I will fuck you up if you even try,” you warn. He lifts his arms in surrender. “So that’s it. You’re just going to sit there.”

“To be honest, I couldn’t care less if you painted the building,” he says with the least amount of interest he could muster, not that that was very hard.

“Do you not like your team?” 

“I do.” He isn’t lying. “But they’re little shits.��

“I can draw a couple of dicks on their window, no problem,” you say offhandedly.

He looks up at you through his fingers. “That won’t be required.”

Although it was appreciated. 

“Cool, so then I’m gonna go.” You make a mention of the utility belt on your waist. He looks at the many spray cans that decorate it. 

“What colour are you going with?” he interrupts quickly. Fuckin’ Sam. What was the point of wings if he couldn’t get here in 2 minutes?

“Red, probably.” You look down. “I got purple and white just in case.”

“Building’s dark, red is good.”

“You really don’t care, do you?” You lower yourself down to the ground, a few feet ahead of him. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” For fucks’ sake, Sam. “You really don’t like superheroes, do you?”

“I don’t have anything against them.”

“Then why do you do this every week?”

This was wading into personal territory and he did not like it. 

“Well.” Your eyebrows knit together. “Because I want to. It’s fun.”

“No other reason?”

“Do I need to have another reason?” You push your palm downwards, sending you back up into the air. “Can’t I just be evil because I want to?”

“Sure,” he says. He’s heard worse reasons. “Why not?”

“Besides, if you think I don’t like superheroes then you should meet Jake.”

“Who’s Jake?” He hadn’t ever heard you mention him before because he’d remember if you had.

“My roommate.” 

“I didn’t see him when I came over.”

“That’s because we’re not conjoined at the hip.” It takes you a second to stabilise. “Besides, he grabbed the water while I got the bracelet but he refused to come say hi.”

Bucky looked down at his wrist. It was still there. He found himself fidgeting with it more often than not.

“He hates superheroes?”

“He has a valid reason.” Your eyes widen in worry when your head suddenly dips. 

“What is it?” He knows the height at which you’re at isn’t very dangerous but if need be, he’s close by. 

“Come find out.” Your eyes shone mischievously. “But yeah, no reason for me to be evil.”

“Not even a tragic backstory?” 

“None. But if you want it, I can give you one, Barnes.” You test the waters, seeing how long you can lie horizontally. “Can’t promise you’ll like it though.”

“Try me.” He has time to kill. He’s a good listener.

“Well, it all started with my family- a troop of gorillas.” You flip over to lie on your back. “They practically raised me, they did. Until my gorilla mother died and I was all but consumed by grief and-”

“Your mother was a gorilla?” He entertains the notion. 

“Or was it my father?” you ask thoughtfully. “I don’t know, I don’t remember. Anyway, I met a-”

“Just to clarify, none of this is real, right?” he interjects. 

You stare at him. He stares at you.

“Bucky, that’s the plot of Tarzan,” you say slowly, “or at least whatever I remember of it... which I’m beginning to realise isn’t much.”

“Just clarifying.” He leans back again.

“Anyway so then when my mother, the deer-”

“Gorilla.”

“Whatever. Was killed, I escaped to some place-”

“Where?”

“Somewhere. And I stayed with these seven men-”

“Why seven?” He actually remembers watching this movie with his sister when it came out. An early memory, a bit faded. He remembers how long he saved up for the ticket.

“Because character development. And then I realised the reason my life was so weird was because there was a rat controlling me by pulling on my hair-”

“What the fuc-”

“If you ask any more questions, I’m going to stop.”

Bucky blinks at you. “So that’s your backstory.” 

“Raw and uncut, baby.”

“Just to get this straight, your mother, the gorilla deer-”

“Witch.”

“Huh?”

“She was a witch who stole my hair.”

“Wha-”

He’s interrupted by the giant shadow cast by something that flies overhead. 

Fucking finally. 

He doesn’t even have to look up. Sam does a small glide to the ground, landing gracefully beside him.

Bucky finds you speechless but straightened up from your earlier posture.

“Buck,” Sam greets him.

“Sam,” he says in return, getting up from his place. 

A grin spreads across your face. “Mr. Sam Wilson. No way.”

“You’re Y/N, I’m assuming?” Sam offers, posture relaxed. He clearly wasn’t here to fight. 

“The one and only.” You tear your eyes away from Sam to glare at Bucky. “Barnes, if you had told me we were expecting guests, I would have dressed better.”

Bucky furrows his eyebrows in suspicion at you. You’d dress up for Sam. 

You dressed up like a suburban tourist dad for him. He was feeling the offence incoming. 

“Can’t count on him to be useful in any situation.” Alright, he did not call Sam just to have the both of you team up against him. 

“Normally I’d agree with you but he did just invite you here, so...” you trail off, looking at Sam expectantly. 

What the shit.

Sam smirks. Bucky switches rapidly back and forth between the both of you.

“I see why Buck keeps coming back every week.” It doesn’t take long for him to catch on, enlisting a feeling of triumph from you. 

“I can’t see why he doesn’t just stay at home everyday if this is the view.” You gesture to him.

This is not what Bucky wanted.

“Okay,” Bucky interrupts, “what is going on here?”

“Pure chemistry, I’d say.” You’re half tempted to bite your lip to seal the deal.

“I agree.” Sam just nods, completely and utterly serious. 

You think that you’ll give him a gift basket just for playing along despite meeting you for the first time at that moment. 

“Get a room.” Bucky rolls his eyes.

“Maybe we will.” You tap your finger against your lip in thought. “How do you feel about Indian food, Sam?”

“Very positively.” 

Bucky grits his teeth. “If you’re not planning to spray paint the Tower, can you just hand over the repulsers so we can go home for the day?”

You let out a small tsk in disapproval. “See what I have to deal with?”

“Can’t imagine how you do it every weekend,” Sam says dryly, not wasting a second in replying. 

“Hello?” Bucky waves his arm around. “She’s the villain here.”

“Your face is the villain here.” You tear your eyes away from Sam only to glare at him. “He won’t even wear a cape. Why am I the only one who brings their A-Game every week?”

“Sam just get the damn-”

“You should wear a cape, man.” Bucky’s absolutely sure that even Sam knows it’s a ridiculous idea.

“I’m not wearing a fuckin’ cape,” he grumbles. 

“What are your thoughts on swords, then?” Your finger finds a place under your chin in deep contemplation. “You’d look great with a sword.”

Bucky buries his face in his palms. “Sam, for the love of God.” 

“Okay, alright.” Sam finally gives in with a small chuckle. He runs a few steps to get a small head start before launching himself into the air, whizzing past your levitating figure. He does a neat little flip midair before matching your height.

Showoff.

“How difficult are you gonna make this, Wilson?” you ask, a smirk on your face.

“Jesus Christ.” Bucky exhales, looking at the both of you through his goggles. 

“What’s your play here?” Sam calls out loudly.

“Was gonna spray paint ‘asshole’ on the side of the Tower.”

“After the ‘A’?”

“After the ‘A’,” you confirm. 

“Now that’s too small,” Sam tutted. “You gotta think bigger. Paint the whole Tower.” 

“Sam!” Bucky looks horrified. 

“Hmm.” You look like you’re considering it. “Don’t have enough paint for that though.”

“You’re an evil genius, right?” Sam casts a small glance at Bucky. “At least that’s what he tells me.”

“You talk about me?” You grin at the disgruntled man on the ground. 

“I don’t,” he mutters, shaking his head. A lie.

“Yeah, so build something,” Sam points out. “Get some more paint. I’ll even tell you the best vantage points to spill it.”

“No, he won’t,” Bucky shouts from below. 

“He’s just cranky because he didn’t get his prune juice this morning, ignore him,” Sam dismisses him.

Prune juice? He was a young 100, not ancient. 

“What’s your favourite colour, Falcon?”

“I like red.”

As annoyed as Bucky is right now, he stores that away in his memory for later. He also knows Sam loves seafood and a good pair of shoes. 

“A couple of gallons of red paint it is, then.” You lower yourself to the ground, Sam slowly follows suit until he lands beside Bucky.

“You know we can’t let you go without taking those, right?” Bucky tilts his head towards your invention.

You narrow your eyes at him. He doesn’t budge.

“I’ll tell ya what,” Sam pipes in instead. “I’ll keep them until you finish getting the paint and once you’re done, we’ll make an evening out of vandalising the Tower.” 

Bucky may not enjoy his company all that much but he admires Sam’s diplomacy. Of course, you would never make it this easy while reasoning with him.

“That a promise, Mr. Wilson?” You raise your eyebrow at him questioningly but are already in the process of removing the things from your hand. 

“Wouldn’t ever lie to you, doll.” He holds up his hand in a mock swear.

You walk towards Bucky and him, rotating your wrists to get rid of the soreness. “Bold claim for a man who met me ten minutes ago.”

“Feels like it’s been longer.” He sends you a wink and you can’t stop the laugh the escapes from you finally. 

Bucky holds his hand out for the gadgets. You shrink away from him with a click of your tongue.

“Technically, he takes this round.” You send a nod towards Sam, dropping off the repulsors into his hand. “So he gets it.”

Bucky rolls his eyes.

“You gonna keep ‘em safe?” you ask Sam, this time a little more earnestly. 

“Guard it with my life,” he says seriously, pressing his lips together in a line to avoid smiling. 

“You’re both ridiculous,” Bucky cuts in.

“You’re going to be late.” Sam tucks the devices into his pocket safely. “You know how Steve gets when people walk in on his speeches. Do you even have a ride?”

“Got the motorcycle.” 

“See you there.” Sam nods. 

“Save me a place,” Bucky says to him.

“No.” He doesn’t even hesitate. “Y/N. It was a pleasure.”

“Still holding you to that evening, Sam.” You send him a smile.

“I’m countin’ on it.” He gives you a small three finger salute before taking off, leaving you staring after his retracting figure. 

When the dust settles, Bucky awkwardly clears his throat. “Right. So that was that.”

“Dude,” you let out an exhale. “he’s so hot.”

He murmurs something unintelligible. It vaguely sounds like a series of threats but mostly a list of complaints.

“Don’t you have a meeting to get to?” You turn your attention back to him.

“Yeah.”

“Aren’t you going to be late?” You glance at the clock on your phone.

“I’ll just tell them I was on a mission.” Well, sort of. “Besides, what are they gonna do? Kick me out?”

“Fair enough.” You shrug. “Have a safe ride back.”

From what he knows of you and Sam, the both of you were kidding around. But he could never be too sure. He can’t even ask if you were serious about the entire thing because it’s none of his business. 

Were the implications of having his mortal nemesis and other mortal nemesis date important enough to overrule that? 

“Are you planning to skip your meeting, or?” you ask when he remains freezes in his spot, eyes glazed over like he’s thinking about something. “Because if you are, I know this great Thai place-”

“Don’t do that again,” he says instead, shaking his head to jolt him out of his thoughts. 

“What?”

“Flinging yourself off roofs like that.”

“Why?” Because it scared the hell out of him, for one.

“Just don’t.”

“Oh please, like you’ve never done dangerous shit like that before.” You narrow your eyes at him, reading his face. “Are you telling me you care about me?”

“No.” His nose twitches. “Just don’t throw yourself off buildings when I’m around.”

“What about when you’re not?”

“As long as I’m not there to witness it.” He shrugs, spinning on his heel to leave. Technically he preferred if you didn’t do things like that at all. 

“Fine. I’ll just have my clone try out all the dangerous stuff for me.”

 He stops in his tracks. “You have a clone?”

“Well,” You squint, “no. But I’m working on it.”

He scoffs, shaking his head. “Bye Y/N.”

“You know, it sounds an awful lot like you’re saying we’re friends.” Your whole demeanour changes and he already knows what’s coming.

“I never said that,” he argues vehemently. “All I said was that I can’t have your murder on my hands.”

“Thus implying that we’re friends. In a fucked up, enemies kind of way.” You positively beam at him. “Aw, Barnes, that’s adorable.”

Adorable? Adorable?

“I hate you.”

“I love you, too, bestie,” you gush, dumb grin on your face. “I’ll make us friendship rings next time. What are your thoughts on matching tattoos?”

He wants to cry. 

______

By the time Sam walks into the meeting room, the session’s already begun. He shoots an apologetic look to a monologuing Steve before taking his place at the nearest chair available. 

Something sharp pokes his thigh. His wings are off and in the backpack beside him, but then he remembers your little inventions that were still in his pocket.

He tries not to make much of a noise while he pulls them out, giving them a look over to make sure they’re not broken.

“Watcha got there, Big Bird?” Tony asks lowly from beside him.

“Something that Barnes’ enemy made.” Sam holds it up slightly. 

“The one he’s been rendezvousing around town with every weekend?” 

“That’s her.” He’s about to put it in his backpack when Tony stops him.

“Pass that here for a second.” He recognises it immediately for what it is, interest piqued. 

Sam hands one of them over while he puts the other back in the bag. It’s a metallic circle, not bigger than Tony’s palm, with a thick leather strap to tie it around your palm.

“She made this?” 

“Why don’t you ask him?” Sam mentions towards Bucky who silently slips into the conference room, standing in the corner near the potted plant since there were no more chairs left.

“The balance has gotta be off on this thing,” he mutters to himself, wholly ignoring the brooding man standing in the corner like a Christmas tree.

“She seemed to be manoeuvring it fine,” Sam catches the eye of a lower ranking agent who makes the mistake of glaring at him for talking while the meeting was going on. A few seconds later the agent hastily looks away and doesn’t turn around for the rest of the hour. 

“Could be better.” He uses a much more intricate model for his suits, although this isn’t even half-bad for a homemade version. “Do you know how long she took to make this?”

“Buck says she comes up with a new one every week, so I’m guessing that long.” 

It had a few glitches but it was incredibly refined for a week’s worth of work.

“Interesting.” He gives it a quick overlook before handing it back to Sam who drops it into the bag.

He casts a swift glance at Bucky, noting how he wasn’t even paying attention to the meeting but rather to whatever he had tied around his metal wrist, fidgeting with it with his thumb. 

Tony has an idea. 

And that was generally bad news.

Next part

[sebastianshaw]

I know everyone here is SICK of my Duggan hate but-- It strikes me, he really just CAN’T write complex characters? I’ve noted many times over how he’s dedicatedly stripped Shaw of anything likeable or human not only the present, but actively retconned events to make him a 2D sack of evil (and frankly, inept evil) in the past as well. But he also goes out of his way to do the reverse for Emma, retconning that she’s ACTUALLY been a good person All Along even when she was at her most evil (so. . . what about her neverending journey to be a better person then, if she always was?) and actually Always Helped Other Women (which is like. . .pretty laughable to anyone who has read her past issues) to fit his ‘feminist’ theme. And there’s also, as many others have noted, how the secondary cast is just. .  .bereft of character, or likewise one-not. Bobby, Pyro, Shinobi, and Bishop can go for ISSUES without speaking, and when they do, it’s like. . .one line. They show the bare minimum of personality most of the time, and while sometimes Duggan can hit a home run (Shinobi’s remark about how he and his dad have done well in not trying to kill each other so far) a lot of it is just. . . why are they there? No, really. They don’t really do anything, and the “plots” he gives them are typically underwhelming and resolved in one issue.  Pyro, as @sammysdewysensitiveeyes has noted, hasn’t been demonized into a total strawman like Shaw, but he’s also really not at all recognizable as Pyro either. His character is entirely a one-note buffoon who is there for stupid comic relief, and there’s zero discussion about his past prior to coming back---his time with the Brotherhood, his battle with the Legacy Virus, the changes he underwent as a person when he was at death’s door, or even the stuff before that as a wartime journalist in Southeast Asia. None of that is there, there’s just this chaotic frat boy joke that Duggan pretty much entirely made up; he only even acknowledges Pyro is a Gothic Romance novelist after 20 issues, and even then it’s to make him look like a joke some more. Like Shaw, he’s just got one dimension now. Duggan seems to WANT to talk about abuse, specifically at the hands of men, which both Christian and Shinobi have experienced, as both were abused by their fathers. But he never, ever brings that up. Instead, he retroactively invents that Shaw abused Lourdes, and tacks on an abusive backstory to a female villain. I don’t think he thinks men can be abused? Or just. . .doesn’t care. His male characters are the ones who suffer most from flatness and having to be inept, evil, or both while the Cool Women Do Things, and I guess he, like lots of men, thinks that’s what Feminism (TM) is, just he’s not whining about it and is performing it instead. Speaking of that female villain, Wilhemina is a nasty evil sadistic little girl who not only happily kills/hurts people, she also kills and tortures animals, especially kittens. And you know what? I bet in the hands of a skilled writer, she very much COULD be made sympathetic and understandable. But what Duggan does is he just takes her and literally in ONE SCENE is like “oh she understands it was wrong now and is SUPER SORRY see she’s CRYING and also she did it because she was SEXUALLY ABUSED” and bam, we’re supposed to feel for her. There’s no buildup, no exploration, just a sudden explanation and remorse and that’s. . . .it?  Compare MANON AND MAXIME whom I’ve written about before. They’re two children who were traumatized, abused, exploited, and made to hurt others by their abuser, which they seemed to enjoy doing. Now that they’re free and living on Krakoa, they do still exhibit unacceptable behavior at times, sometimes out of vengeance, sometimes in self-defense gone too far, and sometimes out of a desire to help and please others but lacking the tools to understand boundaries and appropriateness and respect for other’s autonomy. They’re a very unsettling blend of being sweet, childlike children, too eager to please adults, and little gremlins who seem to take joy in messing with people’s minds---or who just don’t understand when it’s wrong even when they mean well. Unsettling, and realistic. Psychic powers aside, I find the twins to be much closer to real-world victims of abuse, especially children, in that they’re NOT “good victims” or “bad victims”. They’re not the “abuse makes you evil” trope, but they still have fucked-up behavior so they’re not the “little abused angel who just sobs beautifully but whose symptoms are all sympathetic uwu” either, which is just as rare and as damaging a stereotype in its own way because it holds that up as how survivors of abuse “should” be. And, as said, that’s rarely it. Most survivors come out of abuse with behaviors that AREN’T sympathetic but DID help them survive, and they ARE NOT BAD PEOPLE FOR IT. This shit is complicated. Then there’s Wilhemina, who starts out as just a monster (even though, realistically, if a child is hurting animals, they probably DO need help) and then the moment her tragic backstory is revealed, she also recognizes and regrets all her wrongdoings. She jumps from one extreme to the other in the space of a few panels, but remains totally one-dimensional either way. And of course, Lourdes. We didn’t see to much of her personality BEFORE Duggan got ahold of her, but in her two issues pre-retcon, she showed a surprising amount of depth and moral ambiguity. She was a member of the Hellfire Club and high enough in its ranks to try to prevent Shaw from being nominated as Black Bishop, claiming she’d seen how it changed people. She clearly had seen some shit and despises it, yet she remained within it. She also seemed content with the idea of Shaw and Buckman experimenting on mutants as guinea pigs, her concern was more doing it on the X-Men specifically and that Buckman would betray Shaw. And she had far more agency when she chose to give her life to save Shaw’s, than Duggan’s version that needed Emma to tell her what to do. Duggan’s Lourdes is a brainless doll who talks like a little girl and needs Emma to handle everything for her, despite it largely not making sense that she would, given her own resources. She’s more morally pure, perhaps, but also one-dimensional. Only room for ONE Woman With Agency here, honey! TL;DR Duggan really can’t write characters that are more than one or two notes, and it shows. 

[threadsketchier]

So I saw the prequels prior to the Originals and it always bothered me how Luke got dumped on a death planet of Tatooine considering the state of that environment and shot that when down in the previous films while Leia got a life of privilege. I was hoping Bail would argue against splitting the twins. I obviously knew why it had to go that route because it had to align and follow up with the Originals. I guess it came off that Luke wasn’t really wanted...?

I already wrote a ficlet somewhat addressing this misconception.

Also, frankly, I’m getting kind of tired of rehashing the same issue - why do people keep assuming that the Larses don’t matter and don’t have a right to be in Luke’s life just because they live on Space Australia?  Why do their feelings not count just because they’re low-to-middle-class moisture farmers who don’t live in a palace on Space Switzerland-Utopia?  Why the fuck do people assume that Luke wasn’t wanted just because the Organas have a personal preference that was obviously previously established before shit hit the fans and they wanted a daughter and Bail, as a senator and Viceroy - essentially co-leader of his planet - is a fucking rational guy who understands the necessity of making hard decisions dictated by logic over emotions?

The twins weren’t just “split up because that’s how the movies have to go,” it does make internal sense within the narrative that it was safer to hide them in vastly separate locations to prevent both of them from being discovered at the same time and thus lost together, or for their latent Force bond to make them a psychic target if they grew up together and established it, acting like a beacon for Vader and Palpatine and any minions of theirs.  It sucks, it’s painful, it has awkward consequences for them later on when Leia’s a bit too loose with her lips, but that’s why these movies have a tragic backstory.  It has to suck real hard before it gets better.

Does it seem crazy that Leia wound up raised in such a screamingly obvious position as daughter of a then-Imperial Senator and princess of a highly prominent Core world being trained to follow in her biological mother’s footsteps and become a senator herself, thus occupying a very exposed role in the Empire, right under the Emperor’s and Vader’s noses?  Yeah.  But also remember that the Superman/Clark Kent illusion can actually work in real life.  Assumption is a powerful thing.  Your average Joe Citizen would assume that someone as otherworldly as Superman, an alien with the ability to fly, strength to bench-press skyscrapers and jumbo jets, heat vision, and other amazing things, would never stoop to living as a normal, humble, inconvenienced human being.  It’s not merely the hiding behind a pair of glasses and hunching over a little with a nerdy tone and habits - it’s the entire idea that a Clark Kent could even exist in the same person of Superman.  They don’t understand that he was raised as a human and actually desires this life, and doesn’t feel the need to lock himself away permanently in his dope Fortress of Solitude and never interact with the very people he wants to save and protect.

Vader was lied to by Palpatine about the nature of Padmé’s death, but there was no disputing that she actually died.  In his crushing despair, Vader accepted with heaps of self-flagellation that his child was dead.  He didn’t even know he had two children.  In his mind, whenever he saw Leia - surely they were in each other’s circles at least at a distance before Rogue One and ANH - even if she reminded him of Padmé six ways from Sunday, he would not assume she was his daughter, because as far as he was concerned his child was dead.  The OT establishes that latent Force-sensitivity also does not automatically make two related Force-sensitives consciously aware of each other until they mutually know one another as being related and Force-sensitive, so not even torturing Leia revealed this to him.

But I’m going off on a tangent.  Let’s break this down:

Tatooine is nothing but a source of anguish for Anakin and his personal loathing for the place made it ideal as a hiding place.  And no, I’m not just haha joking about sand.  He was a slave there and buried his mother there after slaughtering an entire village of natives he knew in his heart that he shouldn’t have.  It holds nothing but misery and failure for him.

Yes, Tatooine is abso-fucking-lutely a galactic cesspit.  It’s ruled by the most vile mob boss in the galaxy, is rife with nasty wildlife that’s out to kill you, and is haunted by the troubles brought about by strife between colonizers and the native population.  It is indisputably a dangerous place.  But it wasn’t Tatooine that killed the Larses.  It was the Empire.  Just because they look like Soft Folks™ doesn’t mean they were - Owen and Beru knew how to take care of themselves, and they certainly knew how to take care of a child in this environment.  They survived to middle age just fine, and would’ve kept going if it wasn’t for those fucking stormtroopers.  Just because they didn’t live a life of luxury also doesn’t mean they were dirt poor either.  When we meet Luke in ANH, he’s a healthy young lad who still has the privilege to fuck off with his buddies around his farm duties.  Life may be tough but it’s not squalor and deprivation for him.

But honestly, even if they WERE dirt poor, they’re still Luke’s family, and they very obviously loved him.  I almost feel like I shouldn’t have to restate it, but I will: Owen and Beru loved Shmi, and upon hearing that Anakin died and left behind a baby son, why wouldn’t they be moved and compelled to take Luke in, and why wouldn’t they deserve to have the chance to raise him in their memory?  Even though they’d be sad that Luke was orphaned, they might even see this as a blessing to be able to raise Shmi’s grandson and Anakin’s son.

As much as he bitched about chores as a teenager, Luke learned damn valuable skills growing up on a Tatooine moisture farm that, coupled with the Force, saved everybody’s asses at the Battle of Yavin, and went on to make him an ideal squadron leader.  Wealth and privilege are not always the best foundation, or at least certainly not the automatic one, for a person to learn good character either.

The Organas are human too.  Faced with a difficult choice, they decided to take this poignant opportunity to fulfill a dream they’d been deferring for some time.  Sometimes parents wish for a specific child, and that’s their prerogative (except IRL they don’t actually get to pick, they get whatever kid they gestate).  If they’d taken Luke and let Obi-Wan take Leia, we’d be having the same argument about Leia growing up on Tatooine.  There was no inequality in this decision.  Bail and Breha wanted a daughter, there was a daughter present among the twins, so they chose her.  This does not mean they valued Luke any less.  Since the twins couldn’t be raised together for their own safety, it might as well have come down to a coin toss.  Bail isn’t evil for exercising a shred of his personal emotions and desires in a situation where he otherwise knew he’d have to restrain himself.  Also, he’d be smart enough to respect the fact that both children had actual family elsewhere in the galaxy and wouldn’t think any less of the Larses just because they live on Tatooine.  The only way his decision would be careless or heinous was if he knew Luke was being taken to people who were abusive or so destitute they couldn’t even care for themselves, much less a third person, and he did nothing about it - but we know this is not that situation.

How do you feel about non-wealthy people living in harsh places here on Earth raising their children?  Would you expect all the rich people in the world to go take those children away from them and adopt them just so they could grow up “privileged” instead?  Think about how that sounds for a moment or two.

Honestly, if Bail had tried to argue about taking both twins because he felt taking Luke to his legal family on Tatooine was “cruel” or “neglectful” because of the planet’s “risky environment and poverty,” I’d hope either Obi-Wan or Yoda would have enough sense to smack him upside the head for being so thoughtless as to insult these people for being seemingly beneath him.

There is more to life than money and power/prestige, and Leia’s upbringing wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.  She was no pampered, air-headed royal spending her days sitting idle being hand-fed space grapes while her “poor” brother ate sand cookies.  She had to undergo intensive academic, political, and physical training from young childhood in order to prepare her to become a covert Rebel agent while she was still a teenager, as if being a child senator wasn’t already stressful and demanding enough.  Sure, she never lacked for anything, but that is an incredible amount of responsibility to saddle on someone who wasn’t even an adult yet (like her bio mother).  Luke was blessed with far more freedom and peace in his childhood than his sister.  And him living on Tatooine with his father’s surname wasn’t nearly as dangerous as Leia existing within the heart of the Empire while actively engaging in Rebel activities that could have cost her her life, even without getting into the whole “daughter of Anakin Skywalker” business.

Also, just because we joke about Tatooine being Space Australia doesn’t mean every single day of Luke’s childhood was THAT eventful.  It was more likely 80% dull farm life and 20% mayhem, and that 20% would be mostly Luke’s fault for being a crazy nut like his parents and getting himself into trouble he could have avoided in most cases.  In other words, growing up there might not have been nearly as “deadly” as we make it out to be.

[lovecanbesostrange]

Let me type some things up quickly on my phone about Netflix' Cowboy Bebop (lots of typos and half-thoughts incoming)

Overall I enjoyed it. It's a different version of things that never lets you forget its roots. Which is good and bad. They kept a sense of anime, a cartoonish feel, opting for style and looks (and dutch camera angles) over realism. So it never feels like a standard tv show. There is something artificial about it and if you've seen the anime you recognize so many shots (and sometimes you wonder why they didn't go for a 1:1). It's a choice and after a while that sucked me in - nice. It will turn lots of people away for sure.

Now I honestly never cared too much about Vicious and the Syndicate. It's important to understand Spike, good tragic backstory and all. I get why it's use as the red thread in the background, the overarcing plot, but personally I don't give a shit. I'd rather spent more time with Jet, Spike and Faye bowling or arguing about dinner. That's what I'm here for.

But I get it, my desire for x-of-the-week plots and the least amount of a continous narrative is not comparible with today's tv. *sigh* Well, at least it's different. Even though Vicious is now weirdly the most cartoony character, sticking out (well, s2 will change that with Ed... ... ... you know what, gonna ignore the last minute for now, as much as I laugh anime Ed I felt that hyperactive energy could easily break a live action adaption and... ... ... huh... let me skip that hornet's nest now...)

I don't know how to feel about Vicious not being the hyped pretty villain who shits ice cubes. He's like a parody Bond villain now?? It's kinda funny. But also Julia... holy fuck, she has agency. So much. And I hate to admit that it makes sense here. Her resentment towards Spike? Years with Vicious as a trophy wife, denied any freedom, wanting out, but plotting so hard she takes over? Wow.

I'm sorry for everybody who loved her character, because they will feel betrayed. She was so important as the unobtainable tragic romance for maximum angst. Now she is a pissed off... guess crime boss now. Her grab for power and control.

Funny enough I never liked the Spike/Faye pairing as a ship. In the anime it felt like if Spike ever fell for somebody else it would diminish Julia's existence (and with little to no agency there wasn't much else to her). But if Julia now divorces Vicious for being a coward and her captor, while also saying no to Spike since he never tried to rescue/free her... it's funny I just saw someone complaining that Spike/Faye is dead in the live action, because of their sibling vibes, but to me I can see this Spike move past Julia for the first time at all.

Faye. My beloved. I was sad we didn't get to see her leveling something with aachine gun as an intro. But hey, she showed up at the church in spectacular fashion. I would've given some more screentime to her trust issues and feeling insecure, ro dive into what it means not having a past. I also think the femme fatale trope she embodies should be used in the future. But having her as a competent bounty hunter (who did use her feminity like with the tango) is up my alley. Even though you have to wonder how she got those skills in the two years since waking up. The natural con artist moments with now "Mom" Whitney were great.

I do like that it didn't take long to get on Jet's and Spike's good side. If she had been in eps2+3 in at least one scene as a little annoyance, they could have captured a slower progress. This way, how she turns around to save them and gets a cabin and also a bonding moment with Spike... I enjoyed that. Spike, Jet and Faye genuinely like each other quicker and see above, them bowling was one of my fav moments. That and the lufa on a stick. XD

Out of the three Faye is the most different. And not just because of the random hook-up with the mechanic. I wonder how it feels like to first time viewers with no anime knowledge. In the simulation we got a good shot of a memorial for the gate explosion and we did see the destroyed moon. But the characters know and son't comment on it. There is a reference to the evacuation and rich people taking dogs over humans. The worldbuilding left a big gap. And I wonder how Faye's backstory will play out from here.

I like Jet, keeper of the braincell nobody listens to. His fatherly ambitions shine through and I was really glad he made it to the recital (in hilarious fashion with Spike fighting in the background, thanks for making me laugh).

Ein is a good dog. :3

Oh, right, Ana. A+

I felt like John Cho had the time of his life with this and well, good for him. A lot with the acting falls into this style of creating memorable, heightened shots over natural conversations. So... *shrug emoji*

Friday evening I wasn't that in the mood, watched the first two eps. Saturday I wanted to do something else, but started ep3 and then didn't go back to the plan and rather watched. It was entertaining! Not my ideal live action version, but I also don't hate it. There are pros and cons and I take the sibling relationship anyday. But I have learned long ago to not hype my own expectations with adaptations, I'm super mellow in that regard and accept alternative takes.

[fallout-lou-begas]

Questions for OC Creators

Shamelessly stole this from @tarberrymentats​‘ post because I’m always a sucker for behind-the-scenes character inspiration and meaning stuff, so if you steal this in turn, feel free to tag me!

(I’m also stealing Halk’s usage of lovely art by @yesjejunus​ for this one 🖤)

Agnes Sands, Courier Six of the Mojave Express

A) Why are you excited about this character?

Agnes was an opportunity to create what felt like a very unorthodox OC, and it’s an opportunity that has certainly paid off. She’s not young, and she’s not a particularly pleasant or easygoing person to be around, but she’s also not the endearingly tragic loner type or a badass army-of-one. She’s not “spunky” or “fun” and isn’t the kind of Fallout character who’s necessarily motivated to do every quest, meet every companion, accomplish every thing. She’s not an important person; being an important person is anathema to her, and the looming, overarching themes of It Keeps Right On a-Hurtin’ are these ideas of the hard limits on unlikely heroism, and how you really can’t fly that far on circumstance and luck. I’m very excited for everyone to see how it goes when the going gets tough.

Furthermore, the design and writing process for Agnes was very informed by finding justifications, reasons, and origins for all of her personality traits, skills, and various hang-ups. The result is a character that feels, to me, so deeply real and well-rounded and alive, that Agnes is a person who has lived every one of her 34 years of age, and that in each of those years were key developments that molded her into the person she is. When I write her, I feel like I know her because of how intimately I’ve researched and come to understand the life she’s led. I don’t want to say it comes effortlessly, but there’s a very genuine, sculpted depth to her character that I’m proud of, and it forms the bedrock of It Keeps Right On a-Hurtin’.

It is also very important to me that Agnes is a trans woman, and is a trans woman who looks the way she does with a strong jaw and a big nose and long face and a wide body and hairy arms and so many other “masculine” features, because I wanted to create a character with a very real, visceral, visible transness to them, and for this transness to be a meaningful part of her character that informs her relationship to other people and the scarce world of the Mojave Wasteland instead of just an auxiliary character trait. She is no less of a woman for existing the way she does, but I simply wasn’t interested in creating a character or interpreting the Mojave Wasteland in a way that wouldn’t meaningfully grapple with what it really feels like, to me, to be a trans woman.

B) What inspired you to create them?

Many of Agnes’ character traits actually come from mechanical and specialization decisions that I play in game. I often joke that Agnes “just plain sucks,” but it’s true that in my Fallout: New Vegas game, I have encumbrance set to a measly 25 lbs without backpacks (necessitating her shoulder-slung duffel bag), use a directional flashlight instead of the Pip-Boy light (necessitating the shoulder-mounted flashlight), play with dramatically decreased total S.P.E.C.I.A.L. and skill points per level (which is why she’s so bad-to-average at most things except key specialties), and so on. This was the most obvious level of inspiration, and much of Agnes’ personality and backstory is reverse-engineered to justify the aspects of her character suggested and represented by her mechanical stats.

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

Epiphanies have come over time, but ultimately I more or less hammered out Agnes’ whole “story” upfront. I have a detailed character bible saved away that covers not only her entire life pre-courier, but the story beats of her experience as the courier thrown into the center of the events of Fallout: New Vegas and the seismic geopolitical power plays leading up to the second battle of Hoover Dam. So, uh, stay tuned for each new issue of IKROAH!

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

I wouldn’t say that I’ve meant to meaningfully change her appearance over time, but as I’ve been working on the comic, I’ve simply gotten better at drawing and the result has been an Agnes that more consistently looks like how I want her to look. One deliberate change to her appearance has been that her hair is a lot fluffier and voluminous than it used to be, just because a few other peoples’ fanart of her would be like that and I really liked how it looked.

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

Hard to say. Agnes has such a defensive, prickly, and particular personality and is so shy and anxious that she’s someone very hard to get along with in general, regardless of who you are. Cass could only ply her through a combination of drunken genuineness and total embarrassment that razor-cut right to her trauma. I don’t think I’d have the...audacious wherewithal to be that blunt with her if we’d just met. The best case scenario is that she imprints on me as a younger trans woman and feels compelled to look out for me because if there’s one soft spot she has, it’s that.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

Pride at the amount of work I’ve put into developing her and crafting her story so far, pride at how it’s been such a rewarding and enjoyable vehicle for getting so much better at art and writing since this summer, and occasionally sadness just because, man, I really let her fucking have it sometimes, huh.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Her solitary lifestyle made it necessary to find a way to write Cass into the story, just so that there would be some more dialogue while she traveled. She has a lot of interpersonal flaws, her habit of going from totally reclusive and private to hollering mad with no steps in between would certainly be off-putting to me especially. She gets a bad, sad, crying kind of angry, and she doesn’t get there quick but she goes get there suddenly.

H) What trait do you admire most?

She has a dedication to her and a commitment to what she’s good at. She understands the value of stability, good work and a good job. Sometimes this value is so much to her that it keeps her stagnant, and she’s very much a person who’s stuck in their ways in so many regards, but there’s a resilience to her that may not be obvious at first, but that she simply wouldn’t have gotten this far or survived without.

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

Agnes’ story is so tailored to the source material of Fallout: New Vegas that I thought that transplanting her into other AUs would be difficult, but it’s actually been pretty seamless inserting her into the a modern AU with a few friends called Courier House, where instead of being a courier, she kept up her medical training and works as an EMT. That also spun off into a modern zombie AU, which is just fun and tragic in a lot of juicy ways.

I also have a lot of thoughts on an AU in which she makes it to the Commonwealth, in which she’d become Nick’s partner at the eventually-renamed Valentine and Sands Detective Agency, helping to solve cases of burglary and theft, B&E, and advises on various security concerns. She’d also get extremely invested in tracking down missing children. There are a lot of parallels and dramatic development potential between Agnes Sands and Nick Valentine that I’d kill for more time to explore one day.

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

I didn’t have to, no, but I chose to and at least filled in some holes. My theory on transitional health care in the wasteland is all my own (the Followers are the primary manufacturer and distributor of hormones, which can be inefficiently synthesized from Auto-Docs so they’re not impossible to find but are considerably rare) and I’ve taken some liberties in the IKROAH canon so far for convenience, such as Primm never getting taken over by convicts and the Cassidy Caravans buyout offer being a letter at the Mojave Express instead of something she’d have had to get personally from Alice McLafferty later on. Expect a lot more little twists like this in the future.

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

(Up to)!5 best and 5 worst types of villains in your opinion and why

Oooh this is a good one.

Top 5 best (in no particular order)

The theatrical villain. They know they’re evil (or if they do, they don’t care), they’re okay with it, and they love it. If there’s a backstory, it’s frivolous. They’re just here to have a good time and make sure you have a good time watching them. Presentation!

The angry villain. They’re the villain all right, they want to burn down the entire damn world, but it’s driven by a deep and (most crucially) understandable rage. The kind that can almost be mistaken for a power fantasy (because don’t you just want to snap sometimes?) if not for their motives often destroying themselves and innocents along with their targets. Their demise is rarely something to be celebrated, a waste of what could have been a powerful force for good. This type is most often female, but it can be pulled off by nearly anyone who’s ever been victimized by the world. Except for disability. We’ll get to that later.

The clever villain. Chessmasters, manipulators, magnificent bastards of all stripes. They’re fun to watch and fun to learn from, and exist to give our heroes a genuine challenge to their intellect, bravery, and skill. It is very easy to write this sort of a character wrong, either as a sort of masturbatory “oooh look at how smart I am and how stupid the heroes are” and/or just giving them a superpower of just knowing or predicting things incredibly precisely even when that makes no sense, but that just makes when it’s pulled off well that much more of a treat.

The complex villain. Often a tragic villain in scope, this villain could be a good person and might even do some good things, but their own flaws warp them into villains. Maybe they break out of it, maybe they don’t. They often have a tragic backstory, but that backstory is never used to excuse their actions, assuming they didn’t cause that tragic backstory themselves. They’re their own worst enemies and a reflection of the worst traits of ourselves, profoundly human, and have a deep pathos to them. In their eyes, we see a reflection of ourselves, the kind of people we could become if we give into our darker impulses.

The monster. It’s here to break shit, eat people, and look terrifying doing so. That alone would be good enough, but more often than not, the monster carries a sense of allegory with them. A monster can be an allegory for anything: the untameable power of nature, the danger of hubris, the banal evil of the rich and powerful, the atom bombs of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The monster is fear made manifest. Or occasional, the monster’s just here to be big and scary and smash things. Hey, not everything has to be deep.

And now Top 5 worst! (in no particular order)

The disabled villain. Not a villain with a disability, but this phenomenon where  every fucking villain has to be disabled in some way. Scarred up, mentally ill, albino, using assistive devices to live (oh the horror of the pacemaker! the terror of the wheelchair!), generally anything that can be termed as a disability is slapped onto villains to underscore just how eeevil they are while our pretty, able-bodied, neurotypical heroes sit in contrast with them. I am so, so fucking sick of this trope. The worst part is that when people bother to explain why the villains are disabled, it’s always emphasized how tragic and unfair and horrible it is that they are disabled and that’s an excuse for their villainy and also their entire personality because wouldn’t it just be so awful to be disabled? UGGGHHH KILL THIS TROPE WITH FIRE.

The stereotypical villain. But hey, disability isn’t the only way to marginalize people, so let’s throw in every type of bigotry! The racist stereotype villain! The evil woman who is evil cause woman! The incessant and sometimes literal demonization of trans people! We just fucking hate certain types of people and think they’re inhuman or inherently evil, and you should too! Commit this one to the blaze too.

The "woobie” villain. Oh yeah, they tried to do a genocide or owned slaves or were horribly abusive but they had a tragic backstory isn’t that soo saaaddd? Not that they have any redeeming or even neutral qualities, they just have feelings and that automatically makes them worthy of forgiveness for everything, usually at the expense of their victims. Sure they killed people, but they cried while they did it, they’re the real victims here! :(

The villain who gets an undue amount of fan attention. This has nothing to do with writing or the quality of the villain themselves, I just fucking hate having to endure it.

The villain with no agency. It’s all someone else’s fault, most often the heroes. Denying agency can be a key trait of angry, tragic, and complex villains, but in this case, the narrative agrees with them. You gave them that formula, you were mean that one time, and most often, the heroes simply didn’t bend over backwards enough to forgive and do all the redemption for them. Blegh.

So yeah, that’s my list of favorite and least favorite types of villains! Thank you for asking.

[fandomlurker]

A Ponderous Rewatch: Prologue

You know, I didn’t think this would happen. I didn’t go into bingeing the 2020 renewal of Animaniacs with the thought “I’m going to watch this and then go and watch the original Pinky and the Brain shorts and spin-off show and do a rewatch and loose analysis on the whole franchise with special attention on queer subtext and themes”. What I initially set out to do was simply watch the renewal and see if it lived up to the show I watched pretty regularly as a kid in the 90s…or at least what I remembered of it through the haze of decades worth of time.

Pinky and the Brain was my favorite set-up on Animaniacs back in the day. Back then I probably wouldn’t even have been able to tell you why beyond “I think it’s funny and the characters are fun to watch as they screw up trying to take over the world”. Other segments were funny to me back in the day, too. Slappy the squirrel was great in that she was basically just like the classic, near-timeless Looney Toons a la Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, but as an old lady toon who’s seen it all and tries to relate to the changing world while proving that the ol’ slapstick ways still work. The Goodfeathers were entertaining despite the fact that I was a literal child and didn’t even know that it was a big ol’ spoof of Goodfellas. Hell, I’ve still never seen Goodfellas, but three pigeons trying to carry themselves like macho tough guy mafia folks while being goddamn pigeons is still funny with or without that context. And as for the Warner siblings themselves? Their skits were pretty consistently great as well. Lots of that Bugs Bunny-like energy of putting terrible folks in their place when they annoy you while coupling it with the dynamic of three child siblings who are very, very active and much too clever for the average person. It was fun!

But as I watched the 2020 reboot with its stripped-down cast now largely consisting of just the Warner siblings and Pinky and the Brain segments for the season (And I’ll be honest, some of the segments from the 90s like Katie Kaboom, Buttons and Mindy, and the Hip-Hippos are ones I’ll be happy to never have return because they were godawful even back then), it brought into focus the strength of those segments compared to most of the others from the old 90s line-up: The strong dynamic and chemistry of the relationships between the main characters of those skits. The Warner siblings are a trio of kids who, despite being truly cut from the same wacky cloth as the most beloved of Looney Toon characters, also very much tap into a very realistic depiction of sibling relationships. Sure, they get on each other’s nerves sometimes. Sure, sometimes they have disagreements on how they view a certain situation. At the end of the day, however, they care about each other more than anything else and work in such perfect sync despite differences in who they are individually.  Sure, Yakko is a talkative theater kid jackass who sasses back at the drop of a dime. Sure, Wakko is kinda quiet and spaced-out and he has the appetite of a garbage disposal. Sure, Dot is adorable and witty and loudly and proudly feminist with an oddly feral streak. But if any one of them is inconvenienced or picked on or threatened in any way by someone, even if that someone is a powerful celebrity of some sort? You bet your ass the other two will immediately back their sibling up and make their tormentor’s life a living hell for the next however long the skit lasts. They’re little gremlin children who love one another, and have a surprisingly tragic backstory that actually speaks to a lot of fans on several levels.

But, okay, the bond between the Warner siblings is great and fun. What about Pinky and the Brain? What makes their dynamic stand out?

Folks, that’s where things get a little more…interesting. To me, at least.

So, watching the beginning of the 2020 reboot got me to slowly remember the parts I loved about the Pinky and the Brain skits from Animaniacs…were actually from their spin-off show. And the things I remembered most clearly from the spin-off were the more heartwarming moments that showed how much they cared about and loved one another, despite Brain being exhausted by Pinky’s dimwitted antics at times. And for a supposedly continuity-light cartoon show, there was a surprising amount of consistency to the main duo and their motivations. There was even a handful of reoccurring side characters the audience was expected to recognize from past episodes, as well, which is a bit strange to have for a show that initially seemed to aim to be strictly episodic. I remembered the odd amount of depth there was to the series. Nothing groundbreaking, mind you, but definitely something more than the average comedy cartoon.

So after watching the first few episodes of the reboot, I took to Tumblr to see if anyone remembered the old 90s show and to see how they were reacting to the new one. In doing so, I came across this post:

“i love that ppl make jokes abt a pinky and the brain version of the destiel confession because that. already happened....... the only difference is that brain pulls pinky out of superhell instead of dying on a barn nail”

Now, look, I’ve never watched Supernatural and only know it through Tumblr cultural osmosis, and at the time we were all riding off the high of the madness that was the finale of that show and the fallout from it. But ANYWAY…

This piqued my interest because 1. I didn’t remember watching an episode of Pinky and the Brain where anything like that happened, and 2. I was already picking up strong gay vibes from the reboot only a few episodes in. So, basically, I just had to hunt down this episode to sate my curiosity and see for myself if there was subtext in this 90s cartoon that I hadn’t quite picked up on as a kid.

I found the episode and started watching it. “Wow,” I said to myself, “this is a lot gayer than I remember…” And after finishing the episode, memories came flooding back to me:

That time the Brain fell for a girl mouse that was looked and acted lot like Pinky.

All those moments where Pinky would wear drag to disguise himself as Brain’s significant other in one way or another to further their plans for that episode, and how I could never remember it being ridiculed.

That one time they accidentally had a child together via a science mishap.

The ending of the Christmas special!...

And as I sat there, dumbstruck and searching Tumblr’s tags to see how far this particular rabbit hole (mouse hole?) went, everything finally clicked in my little bisexual mind.

This was one of the big reasons as to why I loved the Pinky and the Brain skits so much above all the others on Animaniacs all those years ago when I was a kid. It was the same sort of thing that subconsciously drew me to many of the cartoons and anime and media in general I loved as a child, back before I had the proper knowledge and self-awareness to know or express it.

Looking back on my life, I’d always gravitated to and resonated the most with stories and media with queer content in text or subtext. And sure, this cartoon was/is no Sailor Moon or Revolutionary Girl Utena with explorations of gender roles and queerness. It’s no Steven Universe or She-Ra with out and proud queer characters. It’s no The Little Mermaid or The Happy Prince where the stories were made by queer authors and subtextually about queer experience.

However…

However…!

I was surprised to find how deep the gay subtext went with Pinky and the Brain. Hell, I still am. This little Warner Brothers, Looney Toons-pedigree, continuity-light show about two lab mice trying to take over the world in bizarre, hilarious ways has such a weirdly continuous, heartfelt, touching, engaging, and sometimes outrageously raunchy queer undercurrent to it. All done in the 90s! It’s kind of baffling.

This is not to say that the creators and writers of the shows deliberately set out to do this. I don’t believe that anyone involved sat down and said to themselves “I’m going to make this so fucking gay!”. Sure, the voice actors of both Pinky and the Brain have said that they played the dynamic with “the energy of an old gay couple” and they’ve said plenty of suggestive or outright not safe for work things in the character’s voices in interviews and at convention panels. I firmly believe that they’re just having fun as the characters, just as much as I believe the writers were probably just having fun and putting in the gay subtext and suggestive lines as a kind of long running joke and seeing how far they could take it.

(By the time of the Pinky and the Brain comics, however, I’m not so sure. Some of the stuff they got away with in those issues is…amazing, to say the least.)

Regardless of actual intent, I think the writers of Pinky and the Brain (both old and new), have accidentally created a sort of subtextual, yet pretty powerful love story. And you know what? I want to rewatch this story for myself and write down my thoughts as I go along. I tried something similar quite a while back with Droids, and while I kind of ran out of steam as my life got busier and never finished, I have time now for something like this.

I should also say that I’m not out here to, like, convert anyone into shipping cartoon mice together. I imagine most people see Pinky and the Brain as nothing other than very close friends, and that’s a completely valid viewpoint to have. I doubt there will ever be some sort of canonization of a gay relationship between the two, as I imagine most of the writers on the new show (and hell, on the old one) are heterosexual themselves and would view such an idea as “ruining the comedy and the dynamic of the characters” or something similar. I’ve been in the fandom game long enough to know better than to hope and expect any media to sincerely tackle queer relationships in stories that only have the subtext there, especially in comedies.

I guess I’m doing this more to explore something I loved as a child and to see if I can find just as much if not more enjoyment from it as an adult, albeit maybe for different reasons. Hell, it’s also an opportunity to peek into a kind of time capsule from the 90s regarding how far queer subtext could be pushed back then, even when heavily couched in comedy. This is just a little project I wanna do for fun in my spare time. And hey, maybe a few of you out there will have some fun reading it too, who knows?

Either way, see you sometime soon in the new year.

[obviouslyelementary]

Detroit Evolution - my thoughts

Okay now that I have sceamed enough about the movie, I think I can put up my thoughts about Detroit Evolution here for everyone interested in discussing and talking about it because fuck, it’s good. Lemme tell you, it’s good. 

The most important aspect of the whole movie, I think, is the fact that it is a fan movie, made by fans, for fans. It’s something big companies like Disney and Universal try to pretend they do, but they never deliver, because their thoughts are only in the amount of tickets or amount of media their movies will get. Most of them don’t have the passion behind it. And I’m not saying fan movie makers shouldn’t think about teh money, quite the contrary, I would have bought Detroit Evolution for 50 dollars if it was for sale because that’s how good the movie is. It is well directed, well filmed, well scripted, well designed, well made... overall, a fucking fantastic film when you talk about the quality. Granted, I am not a movie maker, or a movie speciallist, so I am not able to analyse it with the whole technical parts, but from a watcher standpoint, it is incredible work and I absolutely loved it. I loved the soundtrack, the lighting, the script, the acting! It was all amazing!

It is incredible to me how much love can be put in a fandom that honestly didn’t have any material to begin with. From what I remember, back at the hype of Detroit: Become Human, the main reason Reed900 was made a ship to begin with was either because people wanted crack pairings, or because they didn’t want soft Connor to be shipped with asshole Reed. They wanted someone that could deal with his shitty personality, and thus, RK900 served the perfect role, since he was depicted in the game as a colder, more advanced version of Connor. And thus, Reed900 was created, Nines was created, and now we have a whole fanbase just for this crack ship that no one could have predicted. Fuck, it’s even the most written ship on Detroit’s AO3 tag!

Nevertheless, fandom or not, the movie as a standalone thing is amazing! It is able to give people who haven’t played the game some insight of DBH’s world, without entering too much on the narrative that would leave it confusing. I have had friends that have never played the game or even heard about it watching the movie and loving it, just for the amazing personality all the characters have. It is an amazing piece of art, and its funny, sad and romantic all at the same time, which kinda kills me inside because I love it so much. 

Now finally, we can talk about the acting and about the characters. First of all, I have been a part of this fandom since the game launched, I have seen many interpretations of Nines and Gavin, I myself have written a dozen fanfics about them, and yet, the movie kind of changed my view completely on these characters. I had always been a fan of stoic, cold Nines, and soft, disaster Gavin, but this movie gets those ideas and tosses them out of the window! I absolutely loved how they made Nines so much more human, with clear feelings, distressed moments, overshown happiness and anger! When you think about it, it is much more of a true interpretation of an android becoming deviant: they don’t know how to hide their feelings just yet, like a child that cries or giggles at any sign of happiness or sadness. He is learning, and he is a sweetheart doing it. And Gavin, while still being a fucking ass, was shown in this movie to be much more complex than other medias have portraited him as such. I was always a fan of Gavin having a tragic backstory, but the one the movie presented to me was never one I thought about, and it was one I will for fucking sure use to all my fanfics from now on because I absolutely loved it! Gavin is fragile, he is human, he is a mess, and yet he is captivating and sweet in some moments when you don’t expect him to be. He’s just a normal guy, and I fucking love him for it. 

Now Chris, Tina and Ada. Fuck. Oh my god, if they aren’t my favorites. Hold my tea sis because I have to fucking RANT about those AMAZING ANGELS!

Jokes aside, I absolutely fucking adored all of them! Tina was amazing! Gavin’s best friend, advisor and helper, she fucking steals the show whenever she is around! She's not only there to give him a hand, she's also there to say 'Gavin I swear to god if you don't act up I will slap you in the face'. She wants the best for her friends, and despite not getting too much into action, I just feel like she's such a badass! She has that vibe all around her, like she's able to stop a criminal with a single 'FREEZE' and win the fucking lottery afterwards! She's funny, she's a best friend that feels like a best friend, and she is surely a lazy ass wife which ugh amazing I love it. Chris, oh boy, he is my baby now. He's absolutely clueless, he is sorry for killing androids, he is a guilty mess and he is such a good friend! He tries at least! He wants Nines to 'get laid', or in other words, have a fun night with Ada, because he thinks she's into him and he just wants to help! He is sorry for all the androids he hurt, he treats Nines like a brother almost, and he is the comedy relief without getting too 'on your face' or doing stupid shit just for the jokes! He acts like a curious human friend and fuck if I didn't crack at his Pikachu surprised face when he realized he was shipping the wrong shit all along. He is surely the type of friend to make a surprise party for the newly formed couple and annoy them with shitty facebook posts about android and human partnerships. He's a good friend, just obnoxious sometimes!And Ada. Fuck. They fucked me up with Ada. I honestly did not think she was the killer at all until they got inside the alley. SHE WAS SO WELL WRITTEN! She was sweet, charismatic and scary as hell when she took over Nines' programming. She is intelligent, she was made to adapt, and it fascinated me how she passed as a deviant android without being one! That made me think about how many other androids could still be following their programming with no one noticing! And using the RK line as a plot point was so clever! Ada, Connor, Markus, Nines, all of them prototypes, experiments of Cyberlife, designed to be different from all others, that gives me so many feelings, I absolutely love it!Anyway, I have been writing for too long and this post is already too big, but I just wanted to do a quick mention to congratulate everyone that worked on the cameras, post edits, and the actors themselves, because you guys have a passion, you guys have great ideas, and I will be surely following you into all your next projects, fandom or not! I hope you guys keep the amazing work going! It's incredible! 

Thank you so much @octopunkmedia for doing such an amazing work of art! Please keep it going! You guys are awesome!

[magioftheseas]

What’s your opinion on each of the sdr2 boys? you don’t have to answer but I’d like to hear it so if ya want...

Well, since you posted how you feel about the SDR2 girls’ writing, how would you rank the SDR2 boys’ writing?

Oh man, one of these asks is so old but you’ll forgive me, right?

So, I’ll do both of these!!! The ranking btw is for the writing not personal feelings which I hope comes across because even if a guy’s at the bottom, that definitely doesn’t make him the worst boy!!! I swear! I SWEAR!!!!!!

Good Tier

Kuzuryuu - Definitely the most solid with development and everything. Wish it wasn’t piggybacking off of fridging Peko (and his sister), but ngl I’m always kind of a sucker of the shitty tough guy learning to mellow the fuck out, and I like Kuzuryuu also being like...probably the most mature of the characters, which is sad but also funny. (Overall opinion is that he’s good! Very good! Definitely worthy of Best Boy title if he’s your type!)

Komaeda - My boyyyyyy. Super intricate and interesting with a worldview that’s both simplistic and complex. I love him so, so much. And his attraction to Hinata is humanizing! Love that! Unfortunately, he’s still super demonized and having that happen to your character who is explicitly mentally ill is super uncool. Also, while I do like how and why he decided to die, I don’t feel like that death was worth him getting cut out and used as a prop for Nanami. If he had been kept alive, it would’ve been way better and less urghhhhhh. Or we could’ve, should’ve had more introspection as a result of the impact his character had, similar to what I wished for with Mikan. But, nah. Fuck changing your view as the result of being challenged, I guess. (Overall opinion is that I would die for him.)

Kamukura - Is being included because yes. He only appears briefly, but what’s there is just so interesting and good! He’s an empty person who is only driven by spite and revenge against those who wronged him, and yet it’s also implied that deep down, he doesn’t want to die. It’s so sad! But intriguing! His motivations are clarified in dr0 (such as the fact that he was framed by Junko for the murders of the student council, but also with the added implied bit that even HPA was prepared to kill him in order to cover their ass), but even so, it’s so deeply tragic that Kamukura was made for the sake of ego (both Hinata’s ego and the ego of HPA), and he found himself getting used which lead to him willing risk his existence to take down everything in one fell swoop despite that not being a guarantee. Wahhhh. (Overall opinion is that it sure is a shame WE DON’T SEE HIM EVER AGAIN, not counting TDP.)

Could’ve Been Okay But URGH Tier

Hinata - My other boy. He sure is the other boy. In all seriousness, Hinata *is* probably my personal fave of the protagonists even if I think the Naegis are better written. I love his conflict of having such a severe superiority complex that he’s willing to throw out everything about himself in order to live up to it. I love how his desperate need to prove himself is, like, to himself. He’s so self-centered in such interesting ways. Unfortunately Nanami is his prop and is given the emotional brunt of forcing his development, which sucks. (Overall opinion is that he’s definitely Kodaka’s self-insert but it’s free real estate when writing fics so he’s MY SELF-INSERT NOW.)

Twogami - THE BEST ENBY. Twogami was such a good character with several layers of tragedy and tbh they’re a major reason why it’s great that no one actually dies in sdr2 besides Nanami. There’s something about not having any identity to call your own so you try to be someone important but like...it’s painfully obvious you aren’t that person because you have strong morals and a good heart which powerful people often don’t have due to detachment and corruption. It’s something I can relate to. And as a character, that they gave their life to protect Komaeda was so heartbreaking. It’s such a good thing Twogami isn’t actually dead! Sadly though we do have issues with the writing because fat character obsessed with food, haha, but... I mean Twogami’s the only one like that in dr and Owari’s the same way for the same reason so I guess it’s not the worst...still iffy though. (Overall opinion is that they’re good! However due to being the first victim, they’re not given a LOT of complexity and what complexity they have doesn’t hold a candle to bby girl Sayaka Maizono but I mean they’re still a good character for what’s there.)

Just URGH Tier

Tanaka - Lmao, unpopular opinion alert but I just don’t think he’s very good! For one thing, he’s kinda...barely there for the longest time. He’s even the only character who has zero speaking lines in the first scene with the entire class. There are at least a few scenes where he contributes very little to the conversation. In general, he has little to offer until about Chapter 4, in which he makes up lies about how totally important he thinks survival is when that wasn’t really a major concern of his before and I’m PRETTY SURE he stole that from Nidai anyway. Super annoying but like, hey. At least that romantic subplot was okay. And, sure, if you like this character type, you could do worse. You could also do better. (Overall opinion is that I like his hamsters but that’s about it.)

Teruteru - He’s absolutely the most loathsome fucker that deserves more shit kicked out of him than any amount of sympathy, bUT... This is about writing, not about likability, and like, he’s written...okay. For one thing, his creepiness isn’t excused nor elaborated on, thank fucking god. But as for what’s actually there, it’s at least something. He’s got actual character traits that could potentially make him interesting, such as his shame about his background despite clearly holding a lot of love for it. Like, that’s a good internal conflict to have. If that was all there was, I’d be pretty partial towards him, especially with his design being very cute. Alas.................... (Overall opinion is that Kamishiro’s better.)

Souda - The comic relief for dgrp tends to be mean-spirited and of the guys, Souda is more comic relief than character so he tends to be a fucking asshole and a creep. It’s a shame because his backstory’s sympathetic but the dude has like, no character arc. He’s just...lucky in that he wasn’t killed. He also kind of forces himself into the social situations, namely with Hinata and Sonia which isn’t really cute when Souda doesn’t treat either of them that well. If you like his character type, eh... You can do much, MUCH better when it comes to bro-y kinda abrasive best dude friends. Again, you can do worse, but those are usually romantic comedies not like...whatever dgrp is. I don’t think I’d say that I hate him though. He’s just frustrating. (Overall opinion is that I think Yosuke Hanamura is more what this character should’ve been like.)

Nidai - I do adore Nidai but it’s so obvious that the writing doesn’t give a shit about him. It’s pretty painful. He’s inconsistently portrayed too, because sometimes he’s a compassionate and surprisingly perceptive guy who encourages others to push past their potential. Other times he’s a bumbling oaf who barely considers others because it’s more comedic. Any depth he could’ve had is often just relegated to shit jokes, figuratively and literally. Even his FTEs are painfully repetitive. Sucks, man. (Overall opinion is...me just sobbing.)

[smutposts]

Black Rose hip and Milk teas for Mirio/Shizuo annnnnnd..... Keith blease!

I LOVE ALL THESE BOYS

Mirio:

black tea; what do they look for in a person?

as cheesy as it may sound, he’s just looking for someone that can make him smile. someone that laughs at his jokes and plays along when he’s being silly

someone who can put up with his antics is also a necessity. he can’t imagine himself being with anyone who finds him annoying. that just sounds unhealthy!

he attracts all kinds of people, so he has no problem making fast friends with anyone who’s worth getting to know. so don’t worry too much about making the first move

could literally be attracted to anyone from any group, clique, or social standing

rosehip tea; how romantic are they? how do they show affection?

is SO FUCKING ROMANTIC. is the kind of boyfriend that remembers every special date including your birthday, your anniversary, the day you moved in together, the day you adopted your first dog together, etc.

will surprise his s/o by phasing through a wall only to pop out and glomp them to the ground

he loves pda and will randomly kiss and hug his s/o throughout the day

always has a an arm thrown casually around their shoulder or waist

milk tea; what are their kisses like?

kisses kind of like a golden retriever–with way too much tongue

you’ve tried to teach him the proper technique to french kissing, but he’s always just so excited to kiss you that it never sinks in

his preferred method of kissing is to just shower you with light pecks all over your lips and chin, but he’s no stranger to steamy make outs

has the habit of getting into said steamy make outs in the most inopportune of places

Shizuo

black tea; what do they look for in a person?

is very much the type of person who doesn’t look for romance. rather, he believes that if it’s meant to be, he’ll just know

so his future partner is likely to start off as a friend. someone he spends time with and gradually begins to fall for

at that point you can just tell he has feelings for them because it’s written all in his body language. he gets quieter, flushes more easily, finds himself staring off into space… is just a complete mess

also is naturally attracted to those who are natural caregivers and actively try to make the world a better place

rosehip; how romantic are they? how do they show affection?

he’s not conventionally romantic and to the untrained eye its very easy to think he doesn’t care at all

like he’s not big on pda so you’ll never see him doting on his s/o in public or him treating them any differently than he treats tom or vorona 

but when it’s just the two of them he’ll make his s/o dinner and take a bath with them or rub their shoulders

he predominantly shows affection by hugging his s/o close to him, especially while they’re sleeping or relaxing on the couch. 

milk tea; what are their kisses like?

his kisses are slow and passionate

he does enjoy the way their lips feel against his but mostly he’s just absorbing everything that’s happening around him 

like the way his s/o’s knees shake or their breathless moans or just the way his heart flutters

his lips taste like cigarettes

Keith

black tea; what do they look for in a person?

is a bit picky about potential s/o’s. but that’s just because he’s a bit reclusive and doesn’t let very many people in

for him to ever be able to commit to a relationship he has to respect his potential partner. they’ve gotta at least have a decent amount of intelligence, speak their mind when they need to, and a have a generous amount of patience

but most importantly they just need to accept him for who he is, hangups and all. he can’t be afraid of being himself, or he’ll never open up

he’s a bit of a cliche and is attracted to people with tragic backstories, but only because this is common ground they share

rosehip; how romantic are they? how do they show affection?

is very quietly romantic. you won’t catch him dead acting all flowery and extra in front of everyone like lance. 

rather, he’s the kind of guy that’ll profess his feelings in the dead of night illuminated by a field of stars and not understand how cheesy it is. will also blush horribly when you call him out for it

he’ll tell you he loves you and that you’re everything to him and that he doesn’t know what he’d do without you

but mostly he shows he cares with stupid acts of self-sacrifice and martyrdom

milk tea; what are their kisses like?

a bit too rough and very passionate.

he’s the kind of guy that puts his all into everything he does and wants to show his partner just how much they mean to him even if he can’t always find the words

isn’t an amateur kisser by any means. he’s got the basics down, but sometimes he gets caught up in the moment and forgets about the technique in favor of following how he feels

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E50 (Feb. 5, 2019)

Are any of us ever, really, on the internet?

This week’s guests are Taliesin Jaffe and Matt Mercer!

Brian shames Taliesin and Matt for (to be fair, accidentally) pouring coke in with their 22-year-old scotch. I am also physically pained by this. I may need a minute to compose myself. (@loquaciousquark: “I like how you’re Brian in this and I’m Matt.”)

Announcements: MAME drop airs three hours before Talks every week! Next week’s Between the Sheets will feature Will Friedle, and last night’s episode featured Quyen Tran! Critical Role will be taking this coming Thursday off, and Talks Machina will be taking next Tuesday off, but the show returns on Valentine’s Day!

But for now, let’s jump into Episode 50: The Endless Burrows

Stats for this week’s ep: Fjord got the 50th HDYWTDT in the 50th episode! The Roper’s crit on Caleb would have one-shotted him had Caduceus not reduced it by negating the crit. Spurt is the first on-screen guest player character death in the history of the show. Chris Perkins was at the table for 22 minutes and 15 seconds. Taliesin: “That’s an episode of network television right there.”

Chris was in town unexpectedly, and asked if he could come watch the show. Matt had written Spurt as an NPC character, just to see how the M9 would react to him. As he was driving to the studio, he realized it could be a lot of fun to let Chris play the character instead. Chris was on board, and Matt told him “You’ll know when to jump in,” and that was that. Nobody else had any idea he was going to be playing.

Caduceus is “in his element but out of his element” underground. “He’s looking for things to be excited about. Not a lot of things to be excited about here. It’s kind of awful.” Taliesin is trying to let him be a little more tactical, to just take care of things and do what needs to be done. “He’s on edge, but it’s a healthy edge.”

Matt clarifies that the party haven’t really emerged into the Underdark---they’re just skimming the edges of it. After spending a lot of time there in the last campaign, Matt didn’t necessarily want to bring it back there again.

Caduceus doesn’t see the group as being deceitful so much as just people who haven’t had the option of being open before. “He’s trying to make that option available.” Part of his training at the temple involved talking to people, helping them feel better, and helping them open up, so this is nothing new to him. Matt: “The solitary therapist.” Taliesin: “He really, really likes them.”

Spurt was originally intended to be a potential hindrance to keep the group from getting past the fire giants stealthily, if he wound up coming along with them. Turned out he... sort of removed himself from that equation.

On the parade of tragic backstories: “I don’t think Clay fully comprehends how bad this all is. I don’t know if he can comprehend art film horror. ‘That’s rough, man.’“ Matt: “He’s the Fred Tatasciore of the group.” Everyone is delighted by that comparison.

Matt was looking for opportunities to bring tragic backstories together. Taliesin calls it a “car crash” approach.

Why are D&D characters often so tragic? Taliesin: “It’s harder to make an interesting happy person.” Matt: “That’s true, but it’s not impossible.” He talks about how it’s natural to try to build something into a character’s backstory to propel them into the dangers of adventure. It’s also the opportunity for a player to work through something they’re going through out-of-game in a safe, cathartic way.

Caduceus is “still a little lanky”. Taliesin points out that this is to be expected because he’s a “vegan on the road”. There’s a long discussion about how the food he makes is “basically semi-firm tofu”.

Matt freaks out a bit about the unintentional callback... VM also being a mid-level party descending into the Underdark in search of a halfling and almost losing a rogue’s foot to lava. A lot of things had to go a particular way for that to happen, and he definitely wasn’t expecting it, especially since he was consciously trying to avoid familiar territory with the Underdark this time around.

Brian: “Which is funny, because the writers never even saw the first campaign.”

Taliesin points out that a trickster cleric is meant to be more of a toolkit, whereas a grave cleric build is more of a medkit.

Taliesin: “I’ve learned my lesson, and I have like three new character ideas ready to go, for this campaign or the next.”

There’s a lot of debate about where the hell Spurt got a skunk, which leads to the creation of the magical item Skunk Jug, which produces a skunk.

Caduceus enjoyed the romance novel, but it hadn’t “entirely clicked”. “He’s aware that: ‘Ah, they’re doing the hanky-panky stuff.’ It’s not really in his wheelhouse.”

Matt was very proud of the group coming up with their plan to get past the giant, and he felt a bit bad that Nott rolled so low (although he also loves the ���magnificent clusterfuck” moments that are the hallmark of D&D). Brian: “That’s just a testament to how bad Sam is as a player.” 

Caduceus took Warcaster as his next feat. “This seems to be in-character and useful.”

Fan art of the week: Nott running across the lava! Taliesin: “I want to play that game. That’s an 8-bit game I want to play.”

Brian asks Matt if the game’s about where he thought it would be at episode 50. Matt: “We’re charging into Xhorhas earlier than I was expecting. We need to get Ashley back soon.” (They’ll get her back in a couple months.) He also points out that some story beats have happened in the world in the group’s absence. He didn’t want to tailor the story’s trajectory to manufacture a big moment in episode 50. The group’s involvement in the Empire has been less than expected, but the direction they’re taking is much more direct than he was expecting. Taliesin points out that if the group had been Vox Machina, they would’ve involved themselves in the politics of the war instantly. Matt reiterates that he loves DMing in a reactionary way when the players push in an unexpected direction.

All Taliesin wants to do right now is fix that sword. He’s expecting it to be, like, a +1 cursed sword that just sings constantly and can’t ever be put down.

Taliesin: “I’m enjoying corralling all the kids.” Matt points out that he’s a much-needed influence on the group. Beau is the one that Cad considers to be his best friend. Dani: “You two can’t not be best friends in this show.” Cad thinks of Fjord as an angsty teen. He thinks Caleb is occasionally up his own butt a bit. He hasn’t figured out that Jester’s an adult yet. “’Oh, she’s happy and fine. Thank goodness someone is.’ And obviously she’s not, but he hasn’t figured that out yet.” He’s disappointed in Nott for the amount of drinking, although he hasn’t said it out loud.

Taliesin: “Cad thinks dangerous things have wisdom. Sometimes just walking up to something and asking is very useful. Sometimes you can avoid getting arrested in front of a coffee shop by offering the officer a hot pocket.”

Matt talks about how getting players to avoid combat is a teaching process that involves incentivizing out-of-the-box approaches. That’s in direct contrast to the more traditional grind-through-fights approach to D&D that was prevalent in the early editions, so it can be a process. He points out that you can talk to players out-of-game, or you can change your own plans to allow players a non-combat win even if it’s a bit of a stretch.

Taliesin and Matt both own a pair of chaps. As you do.

Taliesin’s personal inspiration for Cad’s staff was very Dark Crystal-driven. The crystal comes from the land he lives on. He dug up the crystal and made the staff himself; the beetles crawl into and out of the stick continuously.

Talks Machina: After Dog

Brian: "Are you relaxed right now?” Taliesin: “Yeah, there’s something in this Coke that’s really...”

Taliesin got started with eyeliner in high school with Vampire LARPing. He had a (mumblemumble)”furk idee” that got him into goth clubs early. Matt first learned to apply eyeliner for cosplay, then wore it for the first time outside of cosplay clubbing with Taliesin (they also had an industrial goth karaoke night).

Dumbest way they’ve managed to injure themselves? Matt was editing There Will Be Brawl’s final episode, which was a bit too overambitious and he was the only editor, and he didn’t sleep for 72 hours and threw his back out horribly from sitting too long. Taliesin was doing a student film as a teenager, and was asked to do a stunt that involved holding someone up to a moving train (Matt: “What the fuck, Taliesin?”). He had really long goth nails at the time and managed to break all ten of his nails off entirely doing that stunt. “I didn’t drop him into the moving train!” Matt: “That’s why unions are good.”

Brian: “I lit myself on fire with a molotov cocktail.” Yes, really, but he wasn’t badly burned. Taliesin: “Did you at least hit the man? Did it stick to him?” Brian: “It was not a man. It was a porta-potty.” Matt reiterates how grateful he was not to have grown up with cellphone video.

Matt: “So you’re saying...” Taliesin: “I was Emperor Norton, yeah.” Matt: “Aw. I’m proud of you!”

We all learned... a lot today. See you in two weeks for episode 100 of Talks Machina!

[jawnjendes]

little fighter | shawn mendes

university au, shawn x goth gf

an: this is apart of @fourtristattoos spring fest. i didn’t go with the weekly theme but i did use a few of the prompts from the list provided, and i will continue to do so for this series until the fest is over. honestly, im really proud of this chapter in particular, and it would be cool if ppl read it or whatever. if you like whats going on here, blease check out my masterlist for this series :)

masterlist | series playlist

For someone who acts composed with no fucks to give, I harbor quite a bit of guilt. I've always felt bad about things I did or did not have control over. I came from a good family. My parents never divorced, and they supported me through and through. I was always a good student in school, I even got into not one, but three amazing psychology departments at different universities. I had good friends throughout my life. I loved and lost. I experienced things the typical human goes through, and that was before I moved to Canada.

I was quite lucky. Nothing tragic happened in my childhood or teen years to make me the way I am now.

No, I don't count my abnormal digestive issues as something tragic. It's not tragic. Besides, that started in my early adulthood and yes, I harbored guilt about that too because I was able to manage it without much hassle.

So tell me why my self esteem was so shot that I went after shitty people so they could love me the way younger me imagined. Tell me why I got so depressed before university that I stopped going to work and school. Tell me what I did that made me a nervous stick in the mud. When and why did my brain become my biggest enemy?

This isn't about my not-tragic backstory. This is about where I'm at now. I've done my crying and wallowing. I go to therapy and swallow my pills.

I'm worried this will be perceived as a “she got a boyfriend and now she's healed” trope. It's not that. Like I said, I've done my healing. The fact that I have Shawn now is a very, very fortunate bonus. I know my worth now, even though sometimes I feel like I don't deserve him. I know what I don't deserve, and that's every relationship I had before Shawn came along.

He wasn't ashamed of his own feelings. There was never a moment where he didn’t tell me how he felt about me. He wasn't afraid to tell people that I was his girlfriend. He was all but bursting whenever he talked about our families meeting. I know that's the barest of minimums, but you would be surprised at the amount of relationships I had that were 50% shame and 50% hiding.

Shawn was always going the extra mile for me. If my digestive system was messing itself up, he kept me bed bound at his apartment, and he nursed me back to health. If I was bored to death at work, he would come and visit me after my manager's shift ended. He would drive thirty minutes into town to bring me lunch as well.

Work. That's where this is going. I was sat in my tiny office with Manager Stacy and Coworker Jason, counting down the minutes to my break. It had been a long day, what with customers complaining about $30 oil changes, or telling me their life stories in a rude manner over the phone. I had to smile at gross older men staring down my shirt as they paid for their car service. Stacy was short tempered and tired, so she gave us hell for little things like the printer being out of paper. She yelled at Luca for slouching in his chair, and that prompted him to leave the room. At least he had the liberty to to do that. I had to stay at my tiny window and feel Stacy's third eye burn a hole in the back of my head.

I would have texted Shawn telling him to just take me somewhere for lunch as opposed to bringing me something, but I didn't want to get yelled at for being on my phone. I just pretended to add up gas receipts while periodically looking at the time on the computer.

Somehow, Shawn read my mind. I saw him enter the dealership from my post, and he was empty handed. Typically, he had a to-go bag from my favorite restaurant. He made eye contact with me and smiled, coming up to my tiny window. Before he could say anything, a male voice called his name.

A deep pit formed in my stomach as Luca excitedly came into view. He greeted Shawn with a handshake/bro hug and a “What's up, man?”

Not going to lie, I forgot they knew each other. I forgot that Luca gave Shawn the concept for his song Mercy, even though I skipped that song when it came on these days.

I grabbed my purse from under my desk as I let the two catch up. I told Stacy I was taking my lunch break and then stepped out of the office. I stepped up to Shawn, still feeling uneasy.

“What brings you here, man?” Luca asked him. “Need service on your car? Or are you finally trading that thing in?”

“Nah, I'm just here to see my girl,” he replied as he took my hand.

Luca tilted his head and pursed his lips the way he always did when he was confused. His eyes trailed towards me like he barely noticed I was there.

“You two?” he asked in disbelief.

“Four and a half months,” Shawn replied with a smile.

I couldn't help but triumph in the shocked expression Luca had on his face. I smiled a little bit.

“I thought you were lying about that,” he said to me.

“Why would I?” I asked in return. Then, I walked towards the building exit, dragging Shawn with me.

~

I'm not one for flexing what I got, but I was particularly happy about Shawn walking me back into the dealership when we got back from lunch. We went for sushi down the street and spent most of my lunch hour in the car. We were still in our own little world, I was genuinely smiling. Other salesmen who worked here had to do a double take because I wasn't doing the typical customer service smile.

We stopped at the door to my office. Shawn planted a quick kiss on me and promised to see me later. I couldn't help but watch him as he walked past the office window towards the exit. I was okay to think about our little world until the end of my shift tonight. However, I was snapped back into reality at the sound of all too familiar words coming out of the all too familiar devil's mouth.

“Fucking whore…”

My smile dropped, but I was ready to roll my eyes and move on. Shawn, on the other hand, stopped in his tracks and turned on his heel. He went up to the window and looked directly at Luca.

“What did you just say?” he asked, leaning on the little ledge. He was smiling, but it wasn't hard to tell that he was annoyed.

“I'm just calling it as I see it,” Luca replied with an all too casual shrug. “She tell you what she got up to before you came along?”

I know I said I was about to let it go… but I ended up barging into the office and going right up to Luca. I grabbed the arm of the chair he was sitting in and forcibly turned him towards me.

“You don't get to do that,” I said loudly, not caring about my professional reputation at the moment.

Luca had an amused look on his stupid face. His dimples showed, and he was trying not to laugh.

“No - you don't get to act like I don't exist and then get salty because I found someone who's way better than you will ever be!” I pointed a finger at him. “You're the last person who gets to call me a whore! You broke the pieces of me that I gave you! You toyed with me for two and a half years, you manipulated and used me and you do not get to call me a whore because I decided I deserve better! You don't get to make any criticisms about my life. Get fucked!”

Silence rang through the tiny office. Jason and Stacy were standing at the back, mouths open. The smirk on Luca's face had vanished, and his face flushed with embarrassment. I was ready to throw hands if he dared to speak.

Then, Shawn spoke. “Let's step out for a second.”

My eyes darted to him. He nodded his head to the side, towards some customers who had lined up behind him. One was a girl about my age who was smiling at the tea being spilled. Behind her was an older couple who looked annoyed at my lack of professionalism.

“Go,” Stacy piped up in her stern manager voice. “I'll help these guys.”

I sighed angrily and went out the door again. I muttered an “excuse me” as I went past the small line of customers and I walked past Shawn. He quickly followed me, telling me to slow down.

“Hey!” He jogged up to me as I stepped outside into the oncoming night. He grabbed my hand to stop me. “Honey…”

I wanted to childishly pull away from his grasp and fold my arms. I wanted to run back inside and drop kick my coworker. Steam was still blowing out of my ears, and I wanted to fucking fight.

“Does he always say things like that?” Shawn asked.

“Yes,” I grumbled, looking out at the shiny new vehicles that were displayed in the parking lot. “That's all I am to him, that's all I've been to him since I broke up with him.”

“And you just let him get away with it?”

My seething eyes now pointed at my boyfriend. I yanked my hand away from his and flailed both my arms as I unleashed another bout of rage. “You think this is the first time I've yelled at him? You think I always just lay back and take it all the time? I'm always sticking up for myself in this god awful place because I'm the bitch who doesn't smile! Nobody here has my back! My own boss didn't even say anything to him! If you think I'm the type to take-”

Shawn quickly held his hands up, trying to calm my hysterical movements. “Okay, okay! I'm sorry. I know you don't take anyone's bullshit. He deserved to get yelled at. I would have done it myself, but you're my little fighter.” He offered a smile.

If there was any special nickname he had for me that wasn't the typical “honey” or anything involving my all black attire, it was that. “Little fighter.” Hearing it helped diffuse some of my anger.

I finally felt rational enough to take a deep breath, calming me down even more. Shawn offered his hand, but I wasn't ready for that just yet.

He thought otherwise. “Please, just take my hand.”

“I am a fighter,” I said, folding my arms. “I did not go through various amounts of bullshit to let some fuckboy tear me down.”

Shawn just looked at me for a moment, then he agreed. “That's right.” He was still holding his hand out. “And you're very cute when you're angry.”

I rolled my eyes. “You know, I wanted to kick the shit out of my coworker, but since you're here…”

He chuckled. “Okay, okay. What I meant is, I'm just glad you know your worth. And seeing you stand up for yourself is probably the hottest thing I've ever seen you do.”

Now I took his hand. “Shut up.”

[arsenicpanda]

A,K, U for the ship meme!

Sorry for the delay, U required some thought and I wanted to give it the proper amount it deserved.

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

Oh god, how much time do we have?  The top three stand firm: Lelouch/Shirley (Code Geass), Izaya/Namie (Durarara!!), and Betty/Jughead (Riverdale).  Tragically, there is very, very little new content for the first two.  But I'm also on a Neal/Emma (Once Upon a Time) and a Cassandra/Older!Varian (Tangled the Series) kick, both of which are also low on new content.  Oh, and I'm really digging Teen Serpent Friendship right now, which doesn't have much in the way of fic either, thus my having to write it.  And I'm always looking for more one-sided Koizumi/Haruhi, but again, no new content.  Basically, I continue to live off of bughead.

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Answered here. But this post is late, so you get a second one.

Honestly?  I love how Betty has changed over the course of Riverdale.  She’s gone from this girl trying to fit into a mold that she just doesn’t fit into to someone who doggedy pursues truth and justice (or her versions of them) at all costs and embraces her ability to be ruthless (although not violently so) if it protects/gets vengeance for someone she cares about.  She’s gone from someone pining after an idea of a person who she honestly has little in common with to someone in a committed relationship with a person with similar interests and equally as intense and crazy and smart and devoted as she is.  And it has happened slowly over the seasons, we’ve crept closer and closer to where we are now, from “oh, Archie, your bad music!” to “Jughead, I love your story where we’re both psycho murderers, A++”, and I just really love it?  But I love Betty at all the places in her story because they are all so interesting.  Is it purposeful development?  Almost certainly not!  But Riverdale stumbles into some truly good stuff sometimes, and I think this is one of them.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Let's see, I've talked about my top three (Shirley, Koizumi, Jughead) a lot, so let's go to some other favorites.

Betty Cooper (Riverdale): Jughead might be my overall favorite Riverdale character, but Betty is Best Girl, so she counts too.  I discussed her some up above, but guess what, can’t stop, won’t stop, I love her too much.  There’s a really interesting mentality Betty has, where she believes she is doing what is right but in a way that is very “the ends justify the means”; however, it is clear that, were you to ask her “do the ends justify the means?” she would probably say “no”, maybe “it depends”.  She thinks she is in the right, but she has done some fucked up shit and has no qualms about doing so, albeit not violently.  Betty draws the line at physical violence because that version of herself scares her (interestingly enough, she does not have that same line with her friends, she seems find with, say, Jughead’s violence), but blackmail and manipulation and vague intimidation of “I will take you down and destroy you” are A-OK in her book, even if she doesn’t realize she thinks so.  And it is so interesting to see this girl who still is, to a certain extent, the girl nextdoor, a sweet heart, be so, so ruthless and also crazy.  But all of this intensity and shady behavior has never been used for just her benefit; it is always, always  in service of helping, protecting, or getting vengeance for someone she cares about.  Also, you would expect a girl like Betty to be about helping society, but no, she is very much a “help people I care about, bonus points if it helps the greater good, but mainly does it affect someone I care about” person.  And that’s interesting!  Betty is very interesting, and I love her for it.

Tsubaki Yayoi (BlazBlue): Tsubaki is initially introduced as a seemingly kind of love interest/motivation for Jin/Hakumen (aka AU future!Jin because BlazBlue is very complicated and werid), but then she actually has connections to other important characters, namely her best friends, and then she gets, like, an actual character arc, and it’s so great?  Her story kind of subverts the story of the fridged woman since she died in the AU past in a way that strongly motivated Hakumen but now she is active in her own story, but I don’t think it’s on purpose at all, which just makes it more interesting.  Tsubaki goes on a journey from “the institution I work for is Just and Right” to finding her own sense of justice and what is right, and I love that whole journey.  But also she is so soft for her friends and Jin?  She loves them all so much.  And her romance with Jin/mentor relationship with Hakumen (who she doesn’t know is AU future!Jin and in love with her) just don’t define her; she actively fights them in order to protect her friends, and that is so, so great.  Also, she’s out of her goddamn mind, and I love her for it.

Yuffie Kisaragi (Final Fantasy VII): This is absolutely cheating because Yuffie isn’t even my favorite female character in this game, but honestly I have such trouble picking favorites from FFVII that I’m counting it anyway, you can’t stop me.  Yuffie is great because she seems like this kind of stereotypical bratty thief character at first, but then it’s like no, she is from a conquered country that has become a tourist trap and she wants to restore it to its former glory, and getting super powerful materia is part of that in her mind, and if she has to steal it, so be it.  And that is so interesting!  You see her on her way to becoming the future leader of her country, and it’s so, so great.  Also, her reaction to Aerith’s death is one of my favorites, just the way she cries on Cloud and it is so, so heartbreaking.  Also!  Even though she has complex reasons for why she does what she does, she still has that upbeat, bratty personality and says shit like “Ok, boring story #1″ to Vincent’s tragic backstory.  Like, she’s great, I love her.

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

13 Queliot recs 2/4

give a little time to me by @wanderingmargo and @coldwaughtersquentin

So I don’t mind telling you that I am a simple girl, and I tend to sort my fic by rating; if I wanted to watch them *not fuck,* I have television.  But occasionally I wander into a T-rated story, and this one is genuinely beautiful, if you have the stomach for a certain amount of lifelike sadness.  It’s a fake-dating story, but because they’re visiting Quentin’s dying father, it’s not by any means a romp -- just a story about witnessing a parent’s terminal illness, and about the soft, blurry line between being loved and being in love.  It really stuck with me.

*

“Nothing’s ever going to fix this, Eliot.” He hadn’t even realized he’d opened his mouth to respond until he’d said it. They’d been here less than an hour, and he had to keep it together. Eliot was doing enough

.He glanced up as Eliot moved further into his space, wishing he’d just stopped talking — ever, really. Before he'd freaked out about his father’s half-packed office. Before they’d arrived to find his dad visibly sicker than he’d been two weeks ago. Before he’d told his dad he was definitely dating his best friend.

 But Eliot was his best friend. He was sometimes arrogant and occasionally mean and always the most stylish person in the room. He was gorgeous, and vain, and thoughtful, and extremely protective of the people he’d latched on to. And, somehow, Quentin was one of those people.

Which meant that when he caught his eye, Eliot wasn’t looking at him with disgust or frustration, but with an understanding that nearly cut Quentin off at the knees.

*

I Need You So Much Closer by @orchardsinsnow

Okay, maybe it’s my age showing, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE stories about revisiting old relationships from an older-and-wiser place and finding that the core of the thing is still there under all the mistakes.  Like, ugh, if you do that story right, I will *lap it up,* and this story is maybe the best I’ve ever read of its type.  It’s an AU, with indie rockstar/recovering alcoholic Eliot and professor Quentin, and it’s just exquisite in its balance of nostalgia and hope and regret and trying again while knowing that it isn’t really again, you’re meeting each other new in so many ways.  Just from a technical perspective, it’s also masterful in the way it deals out backstory slowly, piece by piece in an organic way that lets you draw the layers back and form a picture of the past as well as the present -- seriously, backstory is *really damn hard,* and this is just on point at every single moment.  I don’t know if this is my favorite of these stories, but it’s probably the one that got the purest, strongest emotional response from me.  Just read it, seriously.

*

Something small bursts inside Eliot’s chest. This disastrous nerd. “I’m just happy I’ll get to see you. I’m looking forward to hearing all about what’s going on with you, including your firsthand experience with the tantalizing ritualized blending of private property.”

“Yeah, well. We have a lot to catch up on. We can hash it out over. You know.” Meaning: a drink, if you must.

“We’ll hash it out over seltzer water.” Meaning: not the type of drink you remember me (I’m sorry) enjoying overly well (really sorry)

.“Oh?” Meaning: are you fucking goddamn serious, the thing I waited wished begged hoped prayed smashed our life to pieces over, that thing? You did the thing?

“Yeah. Four years.” Four years, two months, one week, and five days. (Wish it was seven years. Really sorry.)

“Eliot,” Quentin says, “Good for you.” His voice is half whisper, half broken gasp. Eliot knows to take encouragement when it’s offered, whether or not he feels he needs it, and this reaction from Quentin is a thing he wishes he could wrap his arms around and squeeze until it’s inside his heart, a nugget of diamond.

*

if being him is who you are by @ameliajessica

This is an unusual outsider-POV, and a bit of a gut-punch.  It’s from the perspective of Mike in a world with no Beast in it, which means he’s just a guy -- the hapless guy that Eliot is trying to be happy with, and -- not doing a great job of it.  Mike thinks he can kind of ride out this whole Quentin thing, and obviously, yeah, not so much.  The ending is inevitable but kind of heart-wrenching anyway, although not tragic -- I think Mike’s takeaway is basically “don’t date younger guys, they are emotional trainwrecks,” and you know, solid lesson, really.  Anyway, I like the way the tone threads that needle between witty and sad; that’s kind of my jam in general, and it’s hard to find it done really right.

*

So he does what any worried boyfriend does for his sexually fluid beau. He asks Eliot if he’d like to have a threesome.

“Oh,” Eliot says slowly, biting down on Mike’s lip. Interested. Good, that makes Mike less nervous about the next part. 

“With Quentin.”

It’s almost comical. Eliot halts altogether, jerking back to meet Mike’s eyes. It hurts - his teeth still on Mike’s lip. And fucking Christ, Eliot looks like a kid caught with his hand halfway down the cookie jar. “You… you want to sleep with Q?”

“Don’t you?” he counters, harsher than he means to, then course-corrects, petting Eliot’s hair.

*