#its messy but its good enough to post idc anymore

[v3ratrix]

moxxie's bad trip

[araniaexumae]

Jily Band + social media AU

Hi! This is a work that takes place in the same universe as Stare but it can be read as a standalone piece. As always, special thanks to Mia @blitheringmcgonagall who is the best jily cheerleader ever <3

also tagging @thebo and @ravenclaw-ft because they liked the snippet (thanks!)

10 Up-and-Coming British Rock Bands

Hogsmeade Magazine

Number 6 : The Marauders

After self-releasing their first EP, Up to no good, in January this year, the Marauders have charmed audiences with their genre-bending sound and boy-band looks. By listening to the first songs, you would classify them as a classic rock band, and a good one at that. But if you pay closer attention, you’ll be able to discern some hip-hop or pop influences depending on the song. They originally made themselves known on the internet through youtube, in a delightful mix of music videos and ridiculous prank vlogs.

Peter Pettigrew @scabbers

@siriuslypretty @prongspotter @notromulus check it out guys we r famous now

hogsmeademag.net

Sirius Black @siriuslypretty

@scabbers @prongspotter @notromulus fucking FINALLY

James F. Potter @prongspotter

@siriuslypretty @scabbers @notromulus um what do they mean by ridiculous prank vlogs?

READ ON AO3

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London’s newest boy band is cuter than 1D

Rita Skeeter for Puddifoot Weekly

Call my title clickbait-y all you want, my readers know I only write the truth. And the truth is that London’s newest rock band the Marauders are sweet on the eyes. You might have heard Stare , which is their most popular number, on the radio. And if you’ve ever seen a picture of lead vocalist James Potter, you will wish he was singing it to you the next time you hear it! The young singer is the son of philanthropists Fleamont and Euphemia Potter and if his music career doesn’t work out, his inheritance already makes him into a very eligible bachelor. My sources tell me he’s still single, so the game is on! May the best lady win.

But no worries, there are enough men to go around! The three other members are just as attractive. You might recognize Sirius Black from his short career in modeling. He posed for several pieces for Walburga Black’s line when he was a child, but we all know about his dramatic falling out with his family since. ( Black heir disowned? ) It’s a shame he won’t model anymore, because I don’t get tired of looking at him. And his mysterious troubled past only adds to the charm!

The other members, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, while more discreet, are just as handsome. There’s less drama surrounding their names… for now! I’ll be on the lookout!

Sirius Black @siriuslypretty

@prongspotter @notromulus @scabbers lol who would ever think James is attractive?

puddifootweekly.co.uk

Remus Lupin @notromulus

@siriuslypretty @scabbers @prongspotter you’re just jealous cause you weren’t called eligible

Sirius Black @siriuslypretty

@notromulus @prongspotter @scabbers idc I have bad boy charm

Peter Pettigrew @scabbers

@siriuslypretty @notromulus @prongspotter lmao I’m just imagining all the ladies fighting for james

Sirius Black @siriuslypretty

@prongspotter @notromulus @scabbers lol like that would ever happen

James F. Potter @prongspotter

@siriuslypretty @notromulus @scabbers I want a solo career

---

The Potter heir not so eligible anymore?

Rita Skeeter for Puddifoot Weekly

Pictures of James Potter and a mysterious redhead holding hands at a bus stop had all of internet screaming last night. Twitter user @bathildabagsht posted a picture yesterday afternoon and the band’s fanbase went crazy for it. For all the picture’s blurriness, any fan of the Marauders would recognize James Potter’s signature messy black hair. Oh how I wish I could run my hands through these locks! The woman’s identity is still unknown but you know me, keeping a secret is basically asking me to uncover it!

---

Euphemia Potter @euphemiapotter

Immensely proud of our son @siriuslypretty for his speech at the #pottergala last night! We love you!

The Marauders speak up about homophobia

The Quibbler

Last week, the Potter foundation held its annual fundraising gala, and this year’s goal was to support LGBTQ+ shelters. The presence of the Marauders was no surprise for anyone, since James Potter is the band’s lead vocalist and guitar player. The band arrived on the stage unannounced and performed a few songs, to the crowd’s delight. The biggest surprise, however, came after their set. Piano player Sirius Black remained on stage to hold a speech about his own experience with homophobia. Rumours surrounding his sexuality had first surfaced several years ago when his family publicly disowned him, but neither party had commented on it. In a moving speech, Sirius finally put an end to the gossip and came out as gay. He opened up about his difficult childhood and thanked the Potters for taking him in. But rather than detailing everything he said, I would rather you see it for yourself. ( Sirius Black’s speech at the 2019 Potter gala ) His way with words could bring anyone to tears and it’s no wonder that he writes most of the Marauders ’ song lyrics. Congratulations, Sirius!

Severus Snape @halfbloodprince

never been a fan of the potter foundation or the marauders but @siriusly ‘s speech last night was disgusting. no wonder the blacks threw him out

Peter Pettigrew @scabbers

@halfbloodprince U R disgusting

Remus Lupin @notromulus

@halfbloodprince wow thanks for voicing your opinion on the subject, it really matters to us

James Potter @prongspotter

@halfbloodprince his speech was better than your entire existence

Severus Snape @halfbloodprince

@notromulus @prongspotter voicing my opinion is my right

Lily Evans @flowerevans

@halfbloodprince you can use your right to stfu sev

James F. Potter @prongspotter

@flowerevans how are you so perfect?

----

James Potter’s girlfriend no longer a mystery

Rita Skeeter for Puddifoot Weekly

Remember when the internet went crazy for a picture of our beloved James with a mysterious woman on a bus? Well she’s no longer a mystery! IfJames Potter’s recent tweet left you with any doubt about his relationship with Lily Evans aka @flowerevans, yesterday’s pics will clear it up. The two were seen at upcoming photographer Dorcas Meadowes’ gallery opening and looked pretty cosy. The two left the event hand in hand and kissed just outside the venue. What a lucky girl!

But who is this Lily Evans? There’s not much about her on the internet but digging through her twitter will tell you that she’s part Irish and a chemist, so I guess our James has a thing for intellectuals. They’ve been seen on the bus several times after the first pics so they probably took the same route. Wait, what if she took that bus on purpose until she met him? Could she be a stalker? Guess I’ll just have to find out!

James F. Potter @prongspotter

@flowerevans omg quit stalking me

puddifootweekly.co.uk

Lily Evans @flowerevans

@prongspotter you’re an idiot

James F. Potter @prongspotter

@flowerevans maybe but i’m your idiot <3 <3

Peter Pettigrew @scabbers

@prongspotter @flowerevans pls stop

Sirius Black @siriuslypretty

@prongspotter @flowerevans so does that mean I’m now the most eligible potter heir?

Remus Lupin @notromulus

@siriusblack you sure about that?

Sirius Black @siriuslypretty

@notromulus ask me again tonight ;)

[kingsofeverything]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation

*All answers should be about works published in 2017.

1. List of works published this year: 

In the order that they were posted

Fall At My Door 

Collide

Mercedes Boy

The Oldest Magic Word 

With a Word (part 2 of FAMD)

Possessing All of Me (part 2 of MB)

It Had To Be You 

One of Many 

Stranded in a Dream

How Fast You Fall

Soft Wings

Has The Ocean Lost Its Way 

Splish Splash 

Don’t Want Shelter 

Wasted Like A Memory (part 2 of DWS)

Just Around the Corner 

Find You Home 

Sweating ’Til My Clothes Come Off

Number 84 

Let Me In (part 3 of DWS)

Admission

Intention

Resolution

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Don’t Want Shelter, definitely. The idea for it came to me over a year ago, and that was basically exes to lovers stuck in a hurricane together. I tried to write it earlier in the year and scrapped it. It was a completely different story and they were actually exes, but it just wasn’t working. RIP those 10k words. But I set out to write something with more emotion and I wanted to write something different and I feel like I succeeded. I’m very emotionally attached to their characters in DWS too. It’s been hard to get my head out of that universe.

I’m putting the rest under a cut because this got really long.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

Soft Wings. It was soooo hard to write at that time. I was just struggling to write anything at all and every single word of that fic was a giant pain in my ass. It was a bday gift and I actually decided not to do gift fics anymore because of how hard it was to write. The last gift fic I wrote was DWS and it was like 2 months late-- sorry about that @justafatbirdonaboat <3

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

So, this was actually difficult and I would rather include the sex scene I mention below in question 7, but it’s long and... it’s smut and I feel like dropping it in here with nothing leading up to it or after it takes a lot away from it. This is from DWS:

If he keeps himself busy enough, which he’s fairly successful with, he doesn’t have time to think about Harry and how once again he practically laid himself bare for absolutely no reason. It’ll fade, he knows that, but at the same time he doesn’t want it to. It’s how he finds himself going out of his way to some specialty store to find Harry’s organic cinnamon toothpaste. It’s why he bought some fancy vanilla candle for his bedroom. He’s fighting with himself over trying to forget and wanting to remember, because he knows that eventually it’ll be gone no matter what he wants. The toothpaste will be empty and the candle will burn down, and it’ll all become a distant memory.

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

i got a super long and detailed comment on FAMD from one of my favorite drarry authors and bloggers that came at the perfect time when i was feeling really shitty about writing and also life in general. it was such a surreal thing for me because i was reading the comment and it was just super lovely and the whole time i was reading it i was like OMFG and fangirling lol

all of the comments on DWS from people who read it as a WIP. they were like some sort of super fuel for me. and it was... idk a special thing for me. i’ve never done a WIP before and idk if I ever will again. it just worked out with that fic because of the chapters and betaing etc. but every time i posted a chapter and people would comment on it, it was just... idk it meant a lot that anyone would follow along, i guess.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Writing Soft Wings, so late May, and then again after I posted DWS, I struggled with Sweating ’Til My Clothes come off. That was Reason #14 and literally NO ONE wanted to write that prompt, so I took it. Mainly though, my struggles have been with fics that either I’ve abandoned (the old version of DWS) or my unfinished sci fic au.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

i feel like everything i write surprises me. i’m constantly shocked that i write anything at all. i think that most of dws was surprising to me. i had a vague idea of what i wanted their personalities to be like, but the way they ended up was so much better than i thought they’d be. I MEAN, i legit thought that the entire fic would take place over 3 days and would end when the storm ended! and then the storm ended and i was like... wtf i’m not anywhere near finished with this. and then a scene specifically, umm... there’s a sex scene in ch 7 of dws that ended up being wayyyyyyyyyyy more emotional for me to write and it still makes me sad to read it. and i’m like 99.999999% sure if you’ve read that fic, you know what i’m talking about. i wrote that and immediately was messaging nic like “i’ve made myself sad with smut! what is wrong with me?”

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

i’m much less messy, though i’m still messy. i think i was easier on my beta this year. less cliche (unless i’m cliche on purpose) and better at getting the emotions across? I DON’T KNOW @louandhazaf is better at this stuff. she answered a different question about this earlier in the year actually.

wait. also. i think i’m better at conceptualizing a story BEFORE i start writing. i still suck at it, but not as badly as last year. 

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

i’d like to write another long fic. i’d like to get better at developing secondary characters. i’d like to write more emotion into my fics. i’d love to be better at outlining and planning fics, but idk if that’s who i am lol 

tbh i’d like to be better at the part of writing that, up until this point, and to a certain point, come naturally to me. i don’t think about my character’s motivations or what they’re separate stories are or backgrounds and shit like that until i’m writing and sometimes i do it and don’t realize i’m doing it? i guess? I DON’T KNOW. coming from a math background and never having written or even taken a creative writing class or anything like that, like... some of the most important aspects of writing, i have no clue about them. at least that’s how i feel. a lot of what i do is just................. like me flying by the seat of my pants. 

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

this is my answer from last year and i’m just going to leave it because it’s still true.

NIC @louandhazaf​ my friend and forever beta. one day we’re going to take over the world. just depends which one of us is in charge of the brain that day as to whether it’s for good or evil.

however, i’ll add to this a bit. nic is the best cheerleader and beta and all of that. bouncing ideas around with her is always fun and always productive. we laughed so hard when we were talking about ideas for DWS. like... i think we both laughed so hard we cried. 

having writer friends -- so all of you -- has been such a positive thing for me. knowing that we all sort of go through the same shit makes it easier when it’s my own lol. 

specifically, i’ll say that @phd-mama influenced me with her fic ‘feels like coming home’ because i read that fic and when i finished i decided that i needed to write something with more emotion behind it, something with a really great (though not necessarily good) back story. the history between her characters in that fic..... idk a lot of it hit home for me. and because of that fic, i wrote DWS. so, thanks <3 

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

ummmm... yes. let’s just say.......... yes.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

yes! write what makes you happy, even if that means writing something sad and depressing. but also try to challenge yourself to write things you’re not used to or things you haven’t done before. also, just write. you can edit later. put words down.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

my near misses fic, which is what i’ll call it until i title it, that i am super excited about (this one just came to me yesterday)

moodboard fic - it’s anon, so i can’t say anything other than that. i started it, but i think i’m going to start over. 

2 time stamps for ‘don’t want shelter’. one that takes place the summer they’re 13, and one that takes place between chapters 8 & 9, but before ‘let me in’

my sci fi au - it’s been kicking my ass for most of this year 

i have a fic idea where they go from friends to lovers, but it’s a long long road to get there. idk if i’ll get to it. it would be loooong. 

i want to do a valentines fic but idk if i’ll have time. i’d like my near misses fic to be for valentines, but that’s a lot of pressure on me and then on my beta.

28 proposals with jess @someonethatsfunny and if we want to do it for an advent fic for next year, i need to at least write a proposal per month. 

i want to do the new relationship travel the world fic with nic @louandhazaf that we’ve talked about co-writing, but we both have so much going on......... 

oh and the tiny penis fic series. which is 5 short fics that are not connected, but one of them has a tiny penis in each fic (it switches around and also maybe they both do in one fic)

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

I would like to tag all of my writer friends, sooo you’re all tagged. Also, this is more than 3, but idc

@dinosaursmate @allwaswell16 @letsjustsee @gaycousinlarry @goodmorningtoyouuniverse @assisreal (writing or art, saori! or both!) @prettytruthsandlies @someonethatsfunny @phd-mama ok i’ll stop tagging so that y’all will have people you can tag lol

[intothespideyverses]

what I imagine going down next season (as a result of everything that happened in sesson 3) warning for discussion of suicide/self-harm:

SHINY

-ok since the whole sex subplot was never really resolved (they SAID they talked but we didnt see shit so) I think this would be a good time to introduce ace!Shay. Now another part of me would also like for shiny to have sex just so esme could stop fucking with m'daughter's head but shay seemed way too opposed to the idea of sex in general (and not in a nervous way, but in a "why would I ever have sex?" kinda way). And maybe once Shay's comfortable with being ace she can just deck esme right in the nose idc idc idc she had it coming! Fuck a $230 skirt bih! Tiny would be weirded out and probably disappointed at first but bc he’s literally the perfect bf he'd come around eventually. Hopefully they could highlight that there are ways to be intimate in a relationship w/o having sex. I just want shiny happiness and for people (lola up until she apologized, esme) to stop going out of their way to make shay feel so insecure and then getting mad at her when she reacts to their bs.

-speaking of which as much as I hate to see her miserable I think shay needs an angsty storyline. She solves her problems so quickly and efficiently, we never even see the emotions she must be going through. i don’t think her being ace would cause her too much stress, she'd do her research for a bit, have a fight with tiny about it (maybe even suggest to keep the relationship open, which would offend tiny) but other than that the real source of angst would come from esme. lets say esme finds out, y’all already know she would never let shay hear the end of it. that, on top of esme being EVERYWHERE and the two of them competing to be both the smartest and most athletic girl in school, would probably really get to shay's psyche. maybe esme goes too far one day, and shay just says fuck it and throws hands?? or maybe she breaks her phone?? idk something rly impulsive bc shay doesn't normally make impulsive decisions. of course esme makes shay out to be the irrational one and shay tries to quit the track team, her grades start slipping, etc etc. esme gets bored without having someone to compete against, or maybe she notices the change in shay's demeanor (and bc of maya’s suicide attempt and her mom) is afraid she pushed shay over the edge. they talk after class one day, esme still being bitchy but by the end a little teary eyed. I think their talk would be reminiscent of anya and holly j in season 8?? 9?? where anya was all like "why are you so mean to me" and hj's like "bc u let me bitch :)" so esme CLEARLY isn't gonna take any real responsibility for bullying shay but shay decides that shes NOT gonna be the bigger person for once. Idk how this would end but I definitely want shay to be more confident by the end, and for esme to learn when to stand down.

-Tiny's line about shay just seeing him as a "good nerd boy" rly stuck out to me. How much does shay know about tiny's past?? This definitely has to be brought up at some point, and I really thought the show would've mentioned that but w/e. Shay probably knows SOMETHING about the gang stuff but not how far it goes, or his family, etc. Tiny has an image that he keeps from everyone else but saves only for shay, which is adorable (they have boggle ((is that like scrabble???)) dates...need me a freak like that) but at some point shays gonna have to see the rest of him. Tiny is tired of shay assuming so much about his intentions too. That and shay not wanting sex period will (in my vision for s4) definitely be the biggest conflicts for shiny, but they'll work through them quickly bc unlike every other couple on this show they actually know how to communicate :)

-also how does tiny feel about the crash?? he looked all the way fucked up when they rushed him into the hospital so...he has to have some sorta trauma from that come on now

TRILES/MOLA

-this is gonna be messy lol. triles and mola are two very polarizing ships so we already kno theres gonna be some mess once tristans back at school. tristan may have been all "okay w/e idc" at the play but we all know once his petty ass is able to speak he's gonna go out of his way to make lolas life living hell. its truly gonna be slutshaming for days, and lets not forget the biphobia. he wont really direct any anger at miles, except tight-lipped quickly concealed bitterness. i can already picture these scenes yall like this is literally what is gonna happen WATCH.

-miles is of course gonna still feel guilty about the whole knocking her up thing, and he rly does love her and values her friendship (their friendship was so cute) so he's gonna want to keep hanging out with her (it’ll start off with just checking up on her every now and then like craig after manny’s abortion, but it’ll grow to miles getting an actual job at lola’s, etc). tristan will be okay with this on the surface but as soon as he and lola are alone (maybe tris is @ the hollingsworth household while lolas there for frankie or hell even miles and miles leaves to get some snacks or something) tristan just lays into her!! on some "you were NOTHING to him" shit. on some "you tried to trap him with a baby" shit!! some “he never loved you, just pitied you” shit!!!! and then tris is all back to smiles the second miles comes back. lola’s on the verge of tears but keeps this to herself cause she doesnt want to start drama so soon after tristan coming back and bc she loves miles too much etc etc. miles of course eventually finds out, and he and tris have the fight of the century where it ALL comes out.

-now I just read a list of PERFECT mola headcanons (by @beach-city-mystery-girl!) that should definitely happen throughout the season! idk if triles will stay together or if mola becomes official but at some point someones gonna be all "make. a. DECISION" at miles so!!

-lola should also find value in being alone and being comfortable with herself. she and yael become genuine friends (bc she needs someone outside of frankie and shay and miles) and form a weird almost symbiotic relationship where they give each other advice on things the other lacks. baaz flips between trying to flirt with her and making insensitive comments about her abortion. lola finally sets him straight for once and for all. 

-maybe something goes down at the restaurant? idk I just started caring about lola’s existence yesterday idk how this goes

-I think frankie eventually finds out that miles and lola hooked up, idk how but she does and she’s not happy about it yikes.

-actually after just reading another great post (by tristanmiligay), a lot of tristan’s insecurities could also lie in the fact that he’s disabled now. maybe miles rly wants to get tris up on his feet again and do something FUN and EXCITING but homeboi literally just got out of a coma and can’t make it, so I can see miles asking lola to go instead (like maybe its a couples thing and he already reserved it or w/e) and that kinda sets tristan off the first time. he’ll probably try to force himself to heal faster, maybe even injuring himself further in the process? he’s gonna have a lot of self-doubt and internalized ableism like the post said :/, and all of that is gonna manifest in hate for lola. 

ZASHA/GRONAH (is that what we're calling it??) 

-okay so this section is kinda tied into the maya section and rly just centered around grace so yeah. but thats mainly bc there wont rly be any drama between zasha (except like normal preparing for college type stuff, like zoe wants to go to some rly good school far away and rasha wants to stay in toronto bc she just got there).

-zoe's pretending to be fine with getting kicked out but its absolutely destroying her on the inside. she and her mom were so close despite everything. zoe starts going thru mad identity issues bc everything about her was sculpted by her mom. if shes not in her life anymore then who is she? she keeps replaying "i love you despite who you are" in her head and its killing her. she sometimes sneaks out of grace's room at night and leaves voice messages on her moms phone (which ms. Rivas never responds to) and ends every night crying on the couch. grace grows super concerned for her but has no idea how to balance both helping maya out and helping zoe. one day at school grace tries to confront zoe about the voicemails but zoe brushes it off and says something cute like "being with rasha makes it all worth it" but grace is still like 👀.

-grace then moves on to trying to help maya but maya is sick and tired of everyone walking on eggshells around her and she tells grace shes fine and that she needs to back off, but grace knows somethings still off. later that day she spots zoe in the student council office trying to call her mom and leaving an angry voicemail, ripping mama rivas to shreds!! "you were never a good mother, a mother who cant love her own daughter shouldnt even be having kids, i hate you, go to hell" type of shit. at the last minute she realizes she doesnt mean half of that (or she does mean it but that scares her) and tries to backtrack but by then the voicemail's already been sent. zoe starts freaking out and crying again and leaves another one like "im sorry I didnt mean any of that please just let me come back. Im sorry, im sorry, im sorry" like just saying sorry over and over again, and grace finally steps in like "sorry for the voicemail or sorry for being gay?" and confronts zoe again. zoe tries to get the attention off of her by asking about maya and grace is like "she's 'fine' just like how you're 'fine'. cut the bs binch" or whatever and zoe breaks all the way down, but before grace can comfort her she sees maya and esme fighting outside the office and she runs out to stop it. zoe, now that shes alone and still crying, contemplates self harming again (im gonna end this here cause this is long enough I deadass would write this whole episode if I could)

-anyway juggling between her upcoming surgery, college apps, and two lowkey suicidal best friends, grace is stressed tf out. this is where gronah steps in lol. i dont care much about jonah but i do know hes much more interesting and likeable when he's with grace. he gives her advice and shit and they go on a bunch of golfing dates, grace maybe takes him to yoga or something, they help each other with college apps, and well gronah happens! jonah basically goes from boring to manic pixie dream boy who tries to show grace that life is worth living and blah blah yall know the drill

-rasha needs a plot outside of zoe and i think her pursuing acting could be a thing!! she goes out to casting calls but every director says something along the line of "we just...envisioned someone else for the role" or "we dont rly think you'd...fit" bc shes muslim and then the one time she gets picked up for a student film, its about a terrorist attack and rasha doesnt realize until she shows up to rehearsal. she goes off on the director (and reminds her that most terrorist attacks are domestic lol) and runs off to goldi and they talk. maybe she tries to write her own webseries (probably with the help of winston) and it becomes a hit!! maybe we could have a probably cheesy as hell famous youtuber plot (and vijay gets jealous lol) and they have some sorta subscriber war where everyones taking sides. baaz, yael, and hunter try to sabotage rasha's show and bc our girl loves scheming she hits them back even harder :).

-also maybe we find out what happens to her friend back in syria? i dont want her to have too many depressing plots so maybe her friend is okay physically but not mentally and she has to deal with that :(

MAYA

-so like I already said maya's done with everyone bullshitting her and being overbearingly nice, so she starts closing herself off. this just makes everyone even more worried tho, so she forces herself back into music and her studies. grace and jonah are all over her, zig always looks guilty as fuck and treats her like a baby, miles forgot she existed but if they pass each other in the hall he'll ask how shes doing, zoe hugs her randomly one day, and esme...esmes the worst one. she starts lowkey stalking maya and its getting on her last nerve.

-she avoids saad like the plague at first, but eventually realizes that he's the only person who doesnt treat her any differently (or so she thinks). they go to the roof one day (cause that shit is never locked no matter how many suicide attempts happened up there) to talk things out, and saad completely switches gears. "what were you thinking??? why would you do that???" type of stuff. maya gets mad at him talks shit about his pictures maybe, idk. saad reminds her that its a coping mechanism after everything that happened in syria, maybe he says he once contemplated too?? idk all the ideas I have are depressing moving on

-one day maya explodes on everyone after she dissapears for a bit (umm maybe she was chosen to perform a song at a school event but, after hearing some girls talking about her suicide attempt in the bathroom, she decides to ditch) bc everyone (grace, jonah, zig, esme, zoe maybe) gang up on her to check if shes okay. she goes off, saying "none of you cared before i tried to kill myself so why care now?" and idk where I was going with this, I want maya happiness and closure but idk how to get there smh.

-uhh she finds hoot! she goes home after school and finds hoot stuffed in the back of her closet. she writes a bittersweet song and after a long talk with her mom, decides to call grace. maybe grace invites her over for a sleepover?? and zoe and maya can finally have a real conversation since The Incident too! Also grace can kinda kill 2 birds with one stone.

FRANKIE'S ANNOYING ASS

-I cant stand this child but shes the writers' baby so she'll get at least 5 main plots next season oh my god. My wishful thinking speaking, but maybe she'll learn its okay to be alone and finally learn to like herself! Hopefully she sees the value in sticking to the sidelines and helping her friends through their issues. Ooh, maybe she learns how to be a good ally after gorillagate and educates her brothers on why their many intolerances are wrong (lbr here, hunter probably uses "triggered" as an insult and continues to call all the refugees "scary", same with miles) BUT come on this is degrassi :) so the writers are probably gonna throw in a new male character for frankie to obsess over. Well, either a newbie or someone completely random thats already in the cast like fucking baaz or saad.

Z*SME

-zig and esme spend a lot of their time obsessing over maya I think, esme bc she sees her mom in maya and zig bc he feels like he made her do it. umm noah fence but i dont rly care about these two so thats all I got lol

if anyone has any specific headcanon requests I’d love some!

[sadgirlamil]

Not like you look here either

<p>To begin this is a post I wrote today but it’s scheduled because idk if I would have enough strength to post it… You have no idea what I been feeling tuh I been so suicidal lately you have no idea I’ve thought about ways to kill myself … life is really hard and you say you have a lot going on but you go out and do things go get high to forget about it all and I can’t do that at all lol I’m sober and times like this I fucking hate it! I wanna smoke I wanna pop pills more than anything I wanna take a xanax and sleep I been craving that for so long!!! Omg just to sleep and feel nothing ! But you do t know that and you won’t until one day you stumble upon our blog and decide to read this all and maybe it’ll be too late… or maybe it won’t… either way you won’t know now… but you’ll know one day… this is gonna be a really sad post and I trust you enough not show anyone or taunt me for it… whatever it is what is right? I’m so sad… like I feel just as sad as I was when I was 14 … yep lol and no one has a clue when I was 14 everything made me sad kinda like now I slept a lot kinda like now… I avoided big crowds and family kinda like now &’ you know what? I used to cut a lot and I miss it so much kinda like now… I miss feeling the blade on my skin , kissing every little hair that sits there rips me open and a calm waterfall of bright scarlet blood that soon turns heartbreak dark read races down reaching for the end… the end that never comes… <br> Washing away the blood along with my sorrow I stand in the shower looking at my feet how they look red &’ soapy… the water so hot I feel it stinging my back like a thousand needles piercing me one by one… <br> I can’t go back there tho not again I was such a mess but I kinda feels like my mind is there ya know… at the time I was dealing with the negligence of my father and a heart break and trying to cope with my feelings… kinda like now<br> Ironic isn’t it? Now I’m dealing with the negligence of my mom and our heartbreak it’s okay tho everything happens for a reason… lol that’s such a lie what’s the reason someone rather die then live? Maybe like the biggest thing for me is how my parents both gave up on me… &’ how I tried to be a good daughter and it wasn’t enough for them my dad gave up a while ago and my moms doing it now why? Am I that bad??? Why can’t they just love me?? I’m not hard to love you said? So why is hard for her? Why is it easy for her to get rid of me like I don’t matter? She wouldn’t do this to anyone else but because I’m my fathers child I get treated like him… I fuck up everything I fucked up me &' you're right you loved me and I was so stupid Idk how or why!? But we didn't make it better you hurt and I hurt and I want you happy Idc about me being happy anymore I'm content with loneliness I spend my days alone and that's okay because maybe being alone is scary but it's gonna happen one day... I love you I really do I promise I've loved you for a thousand years and I'll love you for a thousand more ... Sadgirlamil that's me ♥ always sad and depressed it eats me up dude like people tell me I'm great but I don't feel great I feel nothing that's thing I don't feel anything of myself I don't feel pretty I'm too skinny I don't have a nice body or perfect hair or a perfect face even... I'm so negative too I don't see beauty in me because it was stolen and not by you or anyone in the category but my parents ... they didn't love me or teach me to love myself until it was too late and they were the ones make me hate myself I can't do anything right I don't have a talent or I'm not good at anything so like really what's my purpose here on earth? I just take up space ... I'm a waste of space think about how much of less stress I would cause if I was gone yeah maybe people will be sad but only for a little bit then they'll forget and only think about me when someone mentions my name then they'll have to sit and think about how they miss me and loved me so much yet... when I felt like this no one checked on me or asked me if I was okay... I was told to snap out of it and get over it... ironic no? I become mad at the universe mad at myself and everything in between I'm not a good person or a good role model I don't want anyone to look up to me... I'm too sad for that stuff I'm good at pretending right? Who would've known I was this sad... that I wanna die none of my friends would expect it they know I get sad but to wanna feel like I wanna die that's crazy ... they probably think of me as a psycho or socio path of some sort... its ok. I love you tho... a lot actually... if I could rip my heart and give it to you I would &' you could keep it out it in a box or in a bag somewhere or leave laying on your dresser and when you remember it's there think about me a little... I kinda miss you right now... I don't wanna talk to you tho kinda want a shirt of yours I wanna smell you ... This is pretty mixed and messy like me so I'm gonna stop here I guess I'll be back I always come back But I love you and if you love me don't let go...