#its over 7k words help 😭

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Practice On Me — Part Seven — Azriel x Reader

Note: I hope you enjoy this part because I’m not overly happy with how it’s written, I don’t know why 😭probably just me being a DUMBASS. Also, it’s still not letting me tag some of you 😩anyone know why?

Summary: The Bat Boys are worried about reader. Cassian’s getting a little suspicious of Kaeda. Azriel is really, really missing his friend.

Word count: 7k.

Warnings: Some injury detail.

“He cannot do this. Surely, he cannot fucking do this.”

Azriel slams his fist on the table so hard that ale sloshes over the lip of a mug. The atmosphere in the mead hall is unusually calm tonight. There’s more laughter than arguing, and some dickhead with a lute is even providing the attendants with music. But at the centre table, a cloud of doom darkens the mood.

Everyone has wisely given Rhys, Cassian and Azriel a wide berth.

Tensions are high. Something’s got to give.

“His role in this camp is to oversee our training.” Az balls his fists. “Not to get involved with how we spend our time outside of it.” He eyes Cass and Rhys opposite him. “Right?”

“Technically, yes.” Rhys confirms. “But as the overseer of said training, he also has the authority to remove any distractions as he sees fit.”

“Distractions? She’s our friend, not a fucking toy—”

“I’m just putting it to you straight, Az. It’s the typical Illyrian attitude rearing its ugly head. All four of us made the decision to go to Fenlaros, and yet it’s the female who shoulders the blame.”

“It’s fucking ridiculous.” Cassian finally speaks up.

He hasn’t said much. Too busy thinking about last night.

Nobody knows a thing about that wild, impulsive fuck except him and Y/N. He plans to keep it that way. Not out of any sense of regret, but…he doesn’t know. His brain is ticking over.

He can’t help wondering something that’s never occurred to him before.

Is Y/N branded a certain way by Illyrian ideologies because the closest people to her are males? Has she unfairly gained a reputation — one that would be made worse if what she and Cassian had done became common knowledge?

He doesn’t want to be the reason she gets more shit thrown her way. He’s starting to think he should think harder before he acts. Maybe last night was a mistake. He can’t even see Y/N to talk it through with her.

“So what do we do?” Az is asking as Cass zones back in. “There’s got to be something. Do we take the matter to your father?”

Rhys cocks an eyebrow. “Be real for a second, Az. My father would laugh us out of Velaris. He doesn’t concern himself with trivial camp matters.”

“Y/N having to choose between an abusive household or perishing in the snow is not a trivial matter.”

“To him, it is. He’d tell Devlon to lead and do what he believes is right. Which, he already has, even if we don’t agree with it.”

“Well that’s bullshit. We can’t just lie down and do nothing—”

“I’m not saying that, Az—”

“What about your mother? She adores Y/N. Surely she could appeal to your father—”

“No. She’s pregnant. She stays out of this.”

“Then what do you suggest, Rhysand?”

“How about you start by explaining to Cass and I what’s gotten into you recently?”

Finally, Az has nothing to say. He goes silent. Still.

He stares back at his two friends like he can’t imagine why they would wonder such a thing.

And then he purses his lips. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Cassian scoffs. “Please. Even I think you starting fights left and right has been extreme.”

“Fuck you. You’re totally exaggerating.”

Rhysand raises an eyebrow. “If you say so.”

“I do.”

“We’re just worried that your behaviour has changed since Kaeda came into the picture—”

“You know what I’m worried about?” Az snaps. “Our friend who is literally homeless as of this morning. That’s a little more important, don’t you think?”

Yes…and no. It’s not that Cassian and Rhys don’t agree. It’s just that…that all roads lead back to Kaeda. And that’s becoming a problem.

“We’re not just going to leave Y/N to deal with this alone, Az.” Rhys tells him. “We just need to be careful about how we deal with it. Devlon isn’t messing around. I don’t want us to cause her more trouble.”

As folds his arms. “So what do you suggest?”

“I’ll talk to Y/N’s friend — Vegha. I’m sure she can open her home to Y/N while we figure things out. Just don’t do anything impulsive or stupid.”

That seems to appease Az a little. He sits back in his chair — allows himself to be a bit more open.

Until Cass totally fucking ruins it and says, “And don’t go starting any more fights just to impress Kaeda.”

Az says again, “Fuck you.”

Cass returns a withering look. “Fuck you right back.”

“Productive.” Rhys comments, shaking his head. He pushes to his feet, and both his friends look round.

“Where are you going?” Az asks.

“To speak with Vegha.” Rhys tells him. “And don’t follow me. You two idiots will only make things worse.”

He has no idea how right he is.

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It starts with the fire going out. Always.

The door swings open hard enough to hit the wall, and freezing air envelops the place. Your father tracks snow into the house, and he smells so strongly of booze that it permeates the room and spreads like a sickness.

You are five years old. You like to draw things in the soot that coats the fireplace. You don’t like green apples, but red ones aren’t so bad. The house always feels untidy since mama stole away in the dead of night a year ago. You try to keep on top of the cleaning, but the damp and the cold makes your hands sore, your bones ache.

Every night, you sit with your hands in your lap and wait for your father to return home. If he’s coming back from the forge, he’s tired and in a bad mood. If he’s coming back from the mead hall or a tavern, he’s drunk and in a really bad mood.

Tonight is the latter. But not only is he drunk and in a bad mood — he’s also brought company.

Four other males. They’re all huge — too huge to fit into the house, you think. If they’ve come for food, there isn’t any. If they’ve come for comfort, there isn’t any of that, either.

But they’re looking at you, all four of them. And in some way, you know that it’s you they’ve come for.

“This is the one?” A male with reddish-brown hair asks.

“I have only one.” Your father answers, and he jerks a chin in your direction. “That is it.”

It.

“Scrawny. There’s barely anything of her.” A second male comments. “This won’t be difficult.”

“I always think that,” reddish-brown answers, “and then they start fighting back. Kicking and scratching.”

You may only be five, but you are not foolish. Something is very, very wrong. A sinister wave has swept your already-miserable home, and you are about to be swallowed up in it. You eye the four males with wide eyes and scoot back a little.

Reddish-brown is the leader. He folds his arms with an authoritative air and announces, “Pathorn and Yevmael can hold her down,” he turns to the second male, “you take one wing, and I’ll take the other.”

The male that steps towards you from the back has eyes as black as the soot in the hearth. His lips twitch up on one side, and he says, “Come here, then, little pup.”

You do not move.

“Come.” He repeats. “It won’t hurt…much.”

They laugh at that.

You tuck your dirty, bruised knees tightly into your chest and rest your chin atop of them. You say nothing, make no move.

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” His friend at the back says, stalking over to you. “Just pick her up.”

He does exactly that — by the scruff of your neck. You yelp as he yanks you into the air, and on instinct, your arms are flailing, legs kicking, tiny wings flaring.

“Look at that.” Charcoal eyes sneers at those very wings. “It’s a fucking abomination.”

If this is a game, you don’t like it. You twist in the male’s grasp, try to wriggle free, and he growls a curse at you. You growl back — a fierce, fierce noise, you think. It makes the males laugh again.

“On the table.” Reddish-brown says. “Face-down.”

“Papa,” you fight, “papa, papa, papa.”

There comes no response. It’s then that you realise he’s removed himself from the room. Left you with these monsters.

“Quiet now, pup.” Charcoal eyes says. “This won’t take long.”

You want to scratch him, and you try, even though your nails are chewed and bitten, despite mama always telling you not to do that. But mama isn’t here now and neither is papa. It’s just strangers with angry faces. Strangers who want to hurt you.

You’re slammed down onto the table, and you let out a cry. Someone holds your legs down. Another person holds your arms.

You are five years old. You like to draw pictures in the soot that covers the fireplace. You don’t like green apples, but red ones aren’t so bad. You are utterly and totally alone.

“I hope you never thought about flying.” Reddish-brown steps up to you. “That day will never come.”

And then they begin hacking at your wings.

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Your father takes you to a healer only when it’s almost too late. A fever scorches you head to toe. You think that mama returns to sit by your bedside, but that isn’t real. It’s a dream.

You’re too weak. You sleep fitfully on your front, because trembles wrack your body that continuously wake you up. You jerk every time the pain at your back gets too much.

The door opens, and you wonder if mama is returning again. You like that dream. But it’s your father, accompanied by the male who has been leaning over your weakened body for days.

“Will she live?” Your father asks.

“She will.” The healer tells him. “If she can fight off the infection.”

“Can’t you just give her a tonic, or something?”

“This is the worst wing clipping I have ever seen. There are ample healers in Illyria who are qualified to carry out the practice. What possessed you to instead leave her in the hands of a group of soldiers?”

“I will do with my child as I see fit.”

“You may no longer have a child, if she cannot fight this. Her life hangs in the balance.”

Your father makes a noise that sounds like a growl. He does that when you’re in his way, and he just wants to sit quietly without you lingering around him. “Give her a fucking tonic—”

“If she survives this,” the healer tells him, “she will be scarred and in pain for the rest of her life. You did not merely clip her wings. You butchered them. This is precisely why a healer should be the one to perform the procedure—”

Your body jerks with a fresh wave of pain, and you whimper. Both your father and the healer look over at you.

Your father’s lip curls, and he turns to the male once more. “Fix her.” He commands. “Because if you can’t, you’re helping me bury the body.”

No. The males will come back and put their hands on you again. They’ll bury a body. They’ll bury your body. They’re going to bury you. Soil will fall on your ruined wings, and when mama truly does come back, she’ll have only an unmarked grave to greet you at.

You try to move, but you’re strapped down. You whimper again.

Bury the body.

Bury the body.

Bury the—

Your body lurches up.

Sweat slicks your skin. You press a hand to your forehead, but it’s cool, not burdened by fever. You’ve awoken like this every morning for the past week.

The dreams are burdening you a lot right now. The memories.

They remind you, at least, why you will not return to your father’s home. Even if you end up hunching yourself up in doorways and exhausting any other dire options.

You hear a noise from the doorway, and you rub the bleariness from your eyes. Illuminated by the dim light in the hall, a male leans against the doorframe. He watches you nonchalantly, biting into an apple. Green, not red.

“You were shouting in your sleep again.”

You heave a deep, slow sigh and rake your fingers through your hair. Sweat soaks the strands.

“You dream often about burying bodies, don’t you?” The male steps into the room. He flares his wings, and you try not to look at them. “You’re quite odd. I think I like it.”

“Get out, Markis.” You sigh again. “Stop watching me sleep. It’s strange.”

“Is it more or less strange than chanting about burying a body?” He smirks. “And you’re in my house, remember? You can’t tell me to get out.”

“Yeah, well, it’s my house, too, and I can.” Suddenly, Vegha is appearing. She swats her younger brother, and a slither of relief settles into you. “Stop bugging her, Markis. Go to the training rings, or something.”

Markis so clearly doesn’t want to leave. He eyes you, his gaze falling from your neck, down to the old, threadbare sweater that you’ve been sleeping in. It’s Azriel’s — still smells like him.

The intensity of the male’s gaze is uncomfortable. And after a week of tolerating it, you’re not sure you can any longer.

“Fine.” He swallows down a bite of apple. He sends you a leering smirk. “I’ll tell your friends you said hello.”

Vegha rolls her eyes. “Markis, just leave before I boil your entire head—

“I’m going, I’m going.”

The male strides out of the room, shooting you one last look over his shoulder. You should ignore it, because the idiot is just basking in the novelty of having a female under his roof that he’s not related to, but the discomfort has sunk itself under your skin, and you’re not sure you can live with it.

Which is a bit of a problem, considering there are no other avenues for you to explore, and have nowhere else to go.

Vegha shuts the door behind her brother and turns to you. “You slept fitfully again.”

“Yes.” You feel a little bad admitting it. It’s not her, nor her family home, nor the bed that’s the problem. It’s you. All you. “I have a lot on my mind.”

“Of course, you do. I wish there was more I could do to help.”

“You’ve done more than enough, Vegha.”

She doesn’t look convinced. The worried streak in her eyes is an indicator of how terrible you look. And you know she’s just caring for you as your friend, but you can’t stand it. One more pitying glance may push you over the edge.

“I have to get to the crèche.” She tells you. “Can I get you anything before I leave?”

“No—thank you.” You sit up. “Listen…I won’t be here when you return home. I’m getting out of your hair today.”

She pauses. Studies you. “You’re not in my hair. You’re welcome to stay for as long as you need. Ignore Markis — he’s a cock.”

You breathe a soft laugh. But you can’t ignore Markis — not any longer. Just as you haven’t been able to ignore any of the males who have made the past week even more difficult than it already was.

Illyrian males are…are a sickness. They’re bred in violence and depravity. So few of them are good.

And if the past week without Azriel, Rhys and Cassian has taught you anything, it’s that to some degree, your exposure to such behaviours has always been muted, thanks to their protection. They’ve been a strong unit around you since you were eleven years old. Most males have been wise enough to steer clear and escape the wrath that would come down on them for messing with you.

But now you’re forbidden from seeing them, and you’re free game for any fucking male in this gods-forsaken place.

You need to be away from them. To be on your own.

“I know.” You answer Vegha. “And I appreciate you opening your home to me, I really do. But it’s fine — I’ve made other arrangements.”

The look she gives you is dubious. She doesn’t believe you, and rightfully so — it’s total bullshit. “You have?”

“I have.” You dip your chin. “I’ll be just fine.”

“…well I’m glad to hear it. You’ll come right back here if those plans fall through, right?”

“Of course I will.” No.

She hesitates at the door. She’s been nothing but kind and accommodating to you — a real friend.

But it’s bad enough not being able to escape the males that haunt your dreams. There’s a damn good reason for you staunchly refusing to return to your father. You will not swap one monster for another.

“I’ll see you soon, then.” Vegha studies you. There’s a sadness in her brown eyes. She genuinely cares. “Take care, Y/N.”

“I will.” You force a breezing smile. “And you, also.”

She inclines her head, and then she’s slipping out of the room. The silence only gives way for your too-near dreams to dig their claws in. You scrub your hands harshly over your face and push to your feet.

You don’t know where you’ll go. It’s tempting to ignore Lord Devlon’s warning and race back to the cottage. Drama may await you there — a total mess that you somewhat made for yourself — but at least you’d be warm and safe while facing it.

You can’t — you know you can’t. You don’t want Az or Cass or Rhys to face any consequences.

So after you get yourself ready and gather what little stuff you have, you head out into the snow and hope you won’t be sleeping in it that night.

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Azriel strikes at the sparring dummy as if it fucked his wife and stole his seat at the dinner table.

The damn things are supposed to be bolted to the ground, but a couple of bolts are no match against the fearsome shadowsinger.

He strikes and strikes until the object is more or less obliterated, because fuck the sparring dummy, that’s why. Fuck the sparring dummy, and fuck Lord Devlon, and fuck—

“I think you made your point.” A trilling voice cuts through his red mist of rage. “How about you set the sword down and have some water?”

Perhaps it’s just Azriel’s anger thinking for him, but he doesn’t feel that Kaeda has been particularly helpful from where she’s perched atop a smooth rock. She cleans her nails with the tip of a dagger and stretches her wings out around her.

Across the ring, Cassian watches and turns to Rhysand. “Why is she allowed to be here, but Y/N isn’t?”

Rhys shrugs his tense shoulders. He doesn’t know the answer.

The two of them step closer to where their brother is trying to breathe through his fury. He’s not coping so well.

See, Azriel has experience with missing things. He misses his mother all the time. Sometimes it’s a dull ache, manageable amongst the mundane comings and goings of life. Other times, it hurts so bad that he doesn’t think clawing his chest open would be too extreme a reaction. Missing a person is a sensation that knits itself under his skin and seeps into the marrow of his bones. It’s relentless and hideous.

Missing Y/N is a new kind of torture he never contemplated having to face.

It’s not just that he’s worried about where she is, whether or not she’s safe and well. It’s that he misses the silliest, tiniest things about her that he didn’t even know he’d ever noticed in the first damn place. The rapt determination with which she cuts the crusts off her bread because that’s a little too much bread for her. The way she gestures wildly with her hands whilst passionately talking about things. That ruined, tattered journal she carries around in which she scrawls blunt, one-sentenced, sometimes unintelligible thoughts. And her scent — gods, her scent.

It has been one week — an amount of time he’s spent away from her before. But it’s different this time. This isn’t like being away on a training exercise and knowing he’ll soon be coming home. He knows nothing. Doesn’t even know what to think, what to feel.

Other than an overt urge to murder the camp lord. Violently.

“How about we get done here and head to the mead hall?” Kaeda breaks through his warring thoughts. “I’m starved.”

Az grabs a nearby rag, wiping the sweat from his face. “Not really hungry.”

There’s a pause. And then a soft sigh leaves the female. She sheathes her blade and pushes to her feet, just as Rhys and Cassian are approaching. “I mean this in the nicest way possible, Azriel, but you can’t be visiting my father with this attitude.”

At once, this grabs the other two males’ interests, and Azriel wants to groan. Right. He’d forgotten about that.

“What’s this?” Rhys frowns, staring between Az and Kaeda. “You’re returning to Fenlaros?”

“My father invited Azriel to dine with us, that’s all.” Kaeda answers for him.

It had genuinely slipped Azriel’s mind. Amongst everything else waging war in his thoughts, a dinner with Kaeda’s family in Fenlaros had sunk right to the bottom.

But he knows immediately how it looks. That he’s being secretive.

Rhys studies Azriel closely. “And you’ve cleared this with Devlon?”

No, no he hadn’t. Quite simply, he’s not sure he can be within twenty feet of the bastard, right now, without throttling him.

He hates himself for it — he really, truly does. But for the sake of sparing himself a lecture, he shrugs. “I have.”

He does not lie to his brothers. And they can smell that lie on him right away.

Cassian stares at Kaeda for a long moment, before turning towards Az. “That is a fucking terrible idea, and you know it.”

“It’s dinner.” Kaeda shoots back.

Cass grits his teeth. “I’m talking to Azriel.”

“Listen, Cassian—”

“Excuse me—I’m sorry to interrupt.”

All four of them turn in the direction of the intrusion —and they stop short.

All three of the males know Vegha, of course. Rhys was grateful that she’d so willingly opened her home to Y/N when he’d asked. But other than that, they’ve only spoken to her in passing — she’s never had reason to seek them out before.

But what adds a slither of urgency to her rare appearance at the training rings is the even rarer appearance of the two little girls who hold her hands. They’re not supposed to be here, and Vegha knows this well.

She obviously deemed whatever this is urgent enough to bypass that rule.

“Vegha.” Azriel steps forward, studying her closely. “Is all well?”

Vegha shifts on her feet, clutching tighter onto the girls’ hands. She’s never comfortable here, around all these males, but it’s a different unwanted attention that makes her want to turn and leave.

Kaeda eyes her head to toe with a look of distaste. Of mistrust. She folds her arms and flares her wings — a gesture that has the little girls gasping.

“Settle down.” Vegha squeezes their hands. She directs her attention back to the males. Strange, that she feels more comfortable with them than she does with the only other female present. “Honestly, Azriel, I’m not at all sure.”

Rhys steps forward. “Is it Y/N?”

Cassian swears — swears — that a small sigh comes from behind him. From Kaeda.

“I know you’ve been instructed to stay away, and I don’t wish to cause you any trouble.” Vegha tells them. “It’s just…well, she was staying at my home this past week, as you asked, Rhysand. I told her she was welcome for as long as she needs — that she mustn’t return to her father’s house. But just this morning, she suddenly announced that she was leaving…that she’d found somewhere else to stay.”

“And?” The word slips from Kaeda’s lips.

Yeah, Cass definitely isn’t in the mood for this today.

“And…and I’m not sure I believe her.” Vegha shrugs slowly. “My brother wasn’t exactly making it a pleasant stay, and I think she was desperate to get out of there. But I can’t imagine where she’d go. I just…thought I should tell you. You know her better than I do.”

True — except her three closest friends can’t imagine where she’d go, either, if not back to her father’s house. And they can’t imagine her resorting to that.

She has no money for a room at an inn. She doesn’t have a long list of friends who will open their homes up to her. And she most certainly can’t go back to Rhys’s mother’s cottage.

So…where? Will she pitch up in one of the abandoned tents across the camp? Will she spend her nights shivering in doorways and wondering where her next meal is coming from?

This is fucking ridiculous.

She can’t be left to live like this.

“You did the right thing, telling us.” Rhys reassures Vegha. He offers a gentle, soft smile to the girls at her sides. “How about you take these two back into the warm? We’ll deal with it.”

Gods, he’s already a High Lord through and through. Calm in the face of turmoil. Not letting on to his inner panic.

Vegha dips her chin. “Sorry, again, for interrupting.” She tugs gently at the children’s’ hands. “Come, girls.”

Rhysand’s brow furrows. Vegha is perhaps the only other good friend Y/N has in this place. There’s no way she’s made other arrangements — Rhys knows it. Cassian knows it. Azriel knows it.

“We’ve got to do something.” Azriel voices what they’re all thinking, a feral panic colouring his tone. “We can’t just leave her to face this on her own. Fuck what Devlon says. I’m not sitting back and letting her freeze or starve to death.”

Rhys chews his lip. “…I can try to speak with my father. But I’m not hopeful where he’s concerned. This falls under Devlon’s jurisdiction.”

“All Y/N needs is a roof over her head and some food in her belly until we can work out what to do next.” Cassian crosses his arms over his chest. “There’s got to be some way we can help. Is there not any clue of where she might go?”

The two males are looking at Az expectantly. If anyone knows, it’s him.

But he’s just…he’s not had his eye on the ball recently. His thoughts are all over the place. Perhaps he’s neglected his friendships a little — because he could swear he knows Y/N inside and out, and yet his mind is blank. Utterly fucking blank.

“I—I need to think.” He runs a hand through his hair, turning — he stops at the flash of red hair that meets him. He’d forgotten Kaeda was even there.

She stares between them, saying nothing, her face pinched and arms crossed. What she’s thinking, Az isn’t sure. But a thought suddenly strikes him.

“Kaeda.” He faces her properly. “Can’t you house Y/N in Fenlaros for the time being? Until this is sorted?”

Kaeda stops short. Blinks at him. “…What?”

“It doesn’t have to be your home, or…or even anything extravagant. Just somewhere she can sleep. There are surely more options in Fenlaros than there are here.”

Kaeda does not like this one bit. A negative reaction is rippling off her in waves, and it hits Cassian like a blast of cold air. Rhys, too.

But Az seems oblivious.

“Azriel…” The female keeps her voice calm, measured. “You know it isn’t that easy. A person can’t just…defect to another camp.”

“She wouldn’t—”

“So what’s your excuse?” The words are falling from Cassian’s lips before he can stop himself. He’s not sure he cares.

Kaeda pauses. Her face is a sheet of wide-eyed innocence as she turns to him. “Pardon me?”

Cass shrugs one shoulder. “You’ve been buzzing around here for months like a fly. What’s your excuse, if that’s not allowed? Because your father may be Lord of Fenlaros, sweetheart, and he may let you do whatever you want, but look around you. This is Windhaven. His word doesn’t mean shit here.”

Azriel takes a step towards him. “Cassian—”

“Either help our friend, or stay the fuck out of it—”

“Cassian, that is enough—”

“It’s fine, Azriel.” Kaeda’s voice is so deceptively warm, you could melt butter on it. She steps towards Cassian, face open, hands held up in a placating manner. “It’s fine. You’re right. I understand you’re upset, and I…I apologise if my presence here has been burdensome. Of course I’ll help any way that I can. I’ll talk to my father right away.”

Cass doesn’t feel particularly satisfied by that. Doesn’t believe a fucking word, to be honest. His eyes communicate that as he stares the female up and down.

“Cass, I think you should apologise.” Azriel says.

He barks a laugh. “No chance.”

“Kaeda just said she’d help—”

“Enough.” Rhys finally jumps in. His tone is laced with authority — just a smidgen of an idea of what he might one day be like as High Lord. He crosses his arms and glares the three of them down as though they’re bickering younglings. “Arguing back and forth will do nothing to help Y/N. We need to act. I will speak to my father. Kaeda will speak to hers. Az, you should see if you can find out where Y/N might have gone. Cass, I want you making sure she doesn’t go anywhere near her fucking father’s house. By the end of the day, we should have at least sorted something. Understood?”

Cass doesn’t look away from Kaeda. He can see her eye twitching — the way she so desperately wants to push back against being ordered. Gods, how Az can’t see right through her, he has no clue—

“Understood.” Azriel answers without hesitation. “I’ll get right on it.”

Rhys inclines his head. “As will I.”

“And I’ll head back to Fenlaros.” Kaeda adds.

Cassian merely shrugs. “Fine.”

Without goodbyes, Azriel is shooting into the skies — probably hoping to get an aerial view of a sodden, freezing Y/N traipsing through the snow.

Rhys looks between Cassian and Kaeda for a beat longer before he disappears, winnowing — Cass assumes — straight to Velaris.

And then there were two.

Kaeda turns back to Cass. The doe-eyed look on her face is instantly gone. There’s a hint of a damn smirk.

“Whatever game you’re playing at,” Cassian clenches his jaw. “You will not win.”

A soft hiccup of a laugh escapes the redhead. “Oh, yes I will.” She steps closer. Close enough for her cotton-and-powder scent to envelop the male. “See, I always get what I want. Always.”

“Not this time. Azriel may not see you for the viper that you are, but I do.” He grits his teeth. “And I will fucking destroy you before you cause any damage.”

Green eyes glitter back at him. The female is unperturbed by the threat — and she knows he means it. There’s even a change in her scent that makes Cassian’s nostrils flare. A darker one. A muskier one.

“Oh, Cassian, I do hope so.” She says, and pushes up so her lips are at his ear. Her full breasts brush his chest. “I love a male who’s willing to punish me.”

She winnows away before the snarl has a chance to claw up Cassian’s throat.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

This is starting to feel like a bad idea.

It was easy, from the warmth and comfort of Vegha’s home, to convince yourself you’d be fine out amongst the wilds of the camp. But the old armoury is dark, dingy and cold, and within hours, you’re not sure you have the resolve for a single night there. Let alone however many you have ahead of you.

This used to be a place of mischief, when you and your friends were children. This far end of the camp has sat abandoned and unused for years, after newer, more effective training rings were installed where the hub of activity now lays. The four of you would spend days here, playing pretend with the old, wooden practice swords that were left behind. You’d make up stories of the area being haunted by the ghost of an ancient, disgruntled Camp Lord. And as you got older, it became a place to come and get drunk, to speak words and secrets that remained there, never to be carried away with you.

You won’t be bothered here, you know — nobody ventures this way. But that, and the fact that the old armoury affords you a roof over your head, are about the only positives. You’re so cold that it hurts. You’re hungry and miserable and tired in a way that has nothing to do with nightmare-filled sleeps.

And gods, you miss your friends. You miss them so much, it‘s a gnawing ache. All those nights you took for granted, tucked up warm in the cottage, Cassian making you all laugh with his antics. Those times seem so distant, now. Is this how it will be, from now on? Never did you think you’d be separated from your friends. And you don’t even know if this is a permanent thing. Will you have to wait and wait until Rhysand is High Lord and able to make decisions, before you can see them again?

These thoughts will do you no good. They’ll only make you colder and drive you to shed tears that you’re not sure you have the energy to shed.

You bundle in your blanket, squeezing your eyes shut as though that fruitless act will shield you from the cold. You were tempted to build a fire, but the last thing you want is to draw attention from anyone flying above. Being found in here will just bring you more trouble you don’t need.

You’re already hunched as it is, gloved hands buried under your armpits — but you somehow manage to tense even more when you hear the distinct sound of boots traipsing through the snow outside.

No.

You can’t do this — not right now. Nobody fucking comes here. Is the Mother laughing at you from above and sprinkling more misfortune into your already-dire existence? You can’t handle a confrontation, can’t handle being told you can’t stay here—

But the door creaks open, and it’s Azriel’s face that peers around cautiously. You almost sob with relief.

“Thank fuck.” He breathes. He’s slipping inside, shutting the door behind him. In a few great strides, he’s in front of you and dropping to his knees. “Are you alright?”

If you speak, you might crack. You risk it all the same. “How did you find me?”

“Took me a while to think of this place, I must admit. It’s been a long while since we were last here.”

But find you, he did. And fuck, his scent and natural warmth are swarming you. It feels like nothing else matters right then. Just you and him, like it’s always been. He yanks you into a hug, and you don’t stop him.

“You’re frozen.” He whispers, squeezing you. His gloved hands rub at your arms, your back, your shoulders. He pulls away to cup your face, and he studies every inch of it. You’re not sure what for.

But you stare back. You don’t know what to do or say. That could be the cold making it difficult to think, or it could be this weird wedge between you that feels like it’s only growing.

Az leans closer, and he presses his forehead against yours. “I miss you.” His gloves brush over your cheeks. “Gods, I miss you. So much.”

“I miss you, too.” You shudder. The words are weighty and truthful, not just referring to this past week apart, but to whatever has been going on for a while, now. You didn’t mean for it to be like this. You just want to go back to how it was.

“I’ve thought about nothing else—” His nose bumps against yours, and one of his hands slides to the nape of your neck, kneading the skin there. “I just—just need you close to me, Y/N. Always.”

You attempt a breathy laugh. “I don’t think Devlon would agree with that.”

“Fuck, Devlon. We’re going to get around this. Rhys is going to talk to his father, and even if that fails, Kaeda is talking to hers. I reckon they’ll be able to offer you sanctuary in Fenlaros until this is sorted—”

You pull back to blink at him. Study him. “What?”

“I asked Kaeda to speak with her father on your behalf. To see if they can find somewhere for you to stay. I’m sure they can—”

“Azriel, I’m not going to Fenlaros.”

He pauses. “…If they’ll have you, Y/N, yes you are. It means you’ll be safe and warm and fed—”

“No.”

“What? Why?”

“Besides the fact that I’m already in enough trouble thanks to that place?” You pull away from him, easing to your feet. “I don’t know anyone there. And if Devlon were to find out—”

“Stop worrying about Devlon and start worrying about your safety.” Azriel, too, stands. “It’s the most logical thing.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Y/N.”

“I’m not going further away from you than I already am, and I’m especially not going to start playing house with your lover, Azriel, it’s odd—”

“That’s what this is about?” He cocks an eyebrow. Folds his arms. “Because you don’t want to accept help from Kaeda?”

You shrug. And just…just to give your body something to do, you begin pacing. “I’m not sure it would be very helpful at all.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You just don’t like her, do you?” He snaps. The sound is harsh, and it makes you grit your teeth. “You’re not willing to accept help that you so clearly fucking need, because you don’t like Kaeda.”

“I don’t trust Kaeda.” You whirl around to face him. “Not one fucking bit, and you shouldn’t, either.”

“Why?”

“Because none of it makes sense! Why is she here in Windhaven, Azriel? What is it she actually wants?”

It’s dangerous — the way your voices are rising in volume and echoing around the armoury. But it’s as though weeks of emotional buildup are floating to the surface, and you can’t stop them, and they’re stoking an anger that actually warms you and feels better than being cold and hungry.

Azriel shakes his head. “You’re fucking impossible sometimes, you know that? You don’t want to help yourself. It’s like you’re determined to make your life as difficult as possible, and when you’re offered help, you don’t take it. You’re impossible!”

“Yeah, Azriel, maybe I am.” You snap back. “But at least I’m not lying through my teeth like Kaeda is, and at least I don’t break my damn promises.”

Azriel stops short. Stares at you.

You and he both know you’re referring to Solstice Night. You should have confronted it before, but…but you buried it.

You’re not sure you can do that anymore.

Azriel purses his lips. And then has the nerve to state, “Things are different between you and I these days.”

“Yes.” You stare back at him. “They are.”

Your eyes are trying to communicate so much. Things are different, and it might be the boundaries you crossed, but you’re more certain than anything that it’s Kaeda’s influence. You just don’t understand why Azriel can’t see it.

You wonder what he might say yet. So much anger and pent-up frustration zips between you. Mixed with longing and missing each other. Loving each other. Wanting to scream at each other, and for each other.

And part of you wants him to spit vicious words and fight back, just for you to feel something — even though you know that’s not Azriel’s style. But you stare and stare, and neither of you speak, and then Az is shaking his head and clenching his jaw.

“I’m not arguing with you here.” He says. “It’ll only draw attention to us.”

You fold your arms. “Fine.”

“I’m going to speak to Rhys, find out what his father said. And I’ll speak to Kaeda—”

“Go right ahead. I’m still not stepping foot back in Fenlaros—”

“And I’ll bring you some blankets and food. Or Cassian will. Or…whatever.” He stops still for a second, swallowing. “But we need to fix this shit between us.”

You know that. But you’re so fucking stubborn, your own worst enemy. And right then, you want to scream. Cry. Hurt him how he hurt you.

So you say nothing. You just shrug again.

He stares, as if waiting for a better reaction. And then he shakes his head once more and turns, striding back to the door. You wonder if it’s a bad thing to let him go, like this. When will you see him again? How will things be when you see him again? You’re making it worse for yourself, for him, for both of you.

You open your mouth — to say what, you’re not sure. But you’re stopped by Az pausing with his hand on the doorknob. With his back to you, his shoulders tense. He’s frozen in place.

And then he speaks — growls — two words. “Fuck this.”

He turns, marching back over to you so fast, you don’t have time to react.

And then he’s grabbing your face, and his mouth is on yours.

azriel tags: @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @sirenpearldust @queercodedcharacter @azriels-shadowsinger @ruler-of-hades @demi03 @magicaldragonlady @abrielletargaryen @ralsieq @v3lv3tf0x @achase2002 @feyretopia @hayrunnwr @don’t-feed-the-hipsters @brekkershadowsinger @piceous21 @bloodicka @acourtofinkandpapyrus @riri-is-agirlie @siriusement @4valyries @socmono @azriels-mate123 @acourtofbatboydreams @katherinearcheron @nesemi @lupinswolfsbanes @dreaming-unafraid @dxnniiix @cyrygher @liddyr03 @lmllsl @nightless @teenageeggscissorslawyer @brighterthanlonelythoughts @blitz-fall @maybefoxysouls @mschanand1erbong @juiceboxreads @bangtanbecks @florencemtrash @hyemishii @obixix @thenovarose @meshellexplosionmurder @angzlxna @lissy31xoxo-blog @supernatural99 @positivewitch @art3-m1ss @milfhunter-pdx @bbuckysbeardd

[so-long-soldier-writes]

You Made a Choice to Be Good

kai parker x bonnie bennett

summary: a kidnapping has an unexpected outcome… bonnie never thought she'd come to an understanding with the crazy sociopath in town, let alone sleep with him.

tags: kidnapping, magic / spells / siphoning, cheerleading uniform kink, mentions of past child abuse & childhood trauma, desk sex, classroom sex, oral sex, vaginal sex, minor foot stuff / touching, sexual inexperience, loss of virginity, unsafe / unprotected sex, minor biting, facials, enemies to lovers, second chances

word count: 7k

a/n: i'm very aware this is (1) a bonenzo title, and (2) enzo's fantasy being incorporated, but idc i'm using it for bonkai!! the cheerleader thing just fits kai so much better!!

@bonnie-sheila-bennett here's one of the cheerleader fantasy fics! the other i'm still working on, and to everyone who's requested other fics, i promise i'm working on them!! i've been so slow lately. 😭

It takes Bonnie a second to realize where she is. There’s a slight ache in her head and her vision is blurry, but if she’s not mistaken, she recognizes the room as her consciousness returns. Particularly, the colors; the green chalkboard taking up most of the front wall, the brown wooden desk a little to the left; the white exposed from what’s not covered in posters. She’s in an old classroom in Mystic Falls’ high school. 

After that realization, shock wakes her up pretty fast. She has no memory of how she got here and racks her brain to remember the last thing she did. She was in her dorm. She was asleep. She felt something warm around her abdomen… and then it was lights out.

Fear floods through her and she reaches for her phone. Only… her hands seem to be tied around her back. 

“Oh my god,” she mutters. Should she call for help? Or would that just alert her kidnapper that she’s awake? Thoughts race through her head before she can remember she’s a witch, and a very powerful one, at that. One word and the chains should fly off and she can escape. “Frac-”

“Oh good!” A voice cuts her off. Its shadow stands in the hall. “You’re awake.”

Bonnie could recognize that voice anywhere. Her body freezes instantly. 

A heartbeat later, Kai comes into the classroom. His famous smirk is on his face and she hates it. 

“What do you want with me?! Why am I here?”

“Oh, Bonnie. Don’t you miss me?”

“Not a chance. Take me back.” She struggles against her chains, as if to signal to him to take them off. 

“Oh, don’t be dramatic. We spent two months together, and you don’t miss me even a little? I’m hurt.”

“Kai-”

“Fine! I stole you, I admit. You’re just too cute, I couldn’t help it!” He pinches her cheek, but not enough to hurt. 

“Don’t touch me.”

“Okay. Sorry.” He holds both hands up, imitating surrender.

“Why did you kidnap me, Kai? Why are we in my old high school?”

“I’ll answer both of those questions in due time. First, I wanna know if I uncuff you, will you try to escape?”

She stares at him incredulously. 

“Take that as a ‘no’, or?”

“What do you think?”

“Okay. Well, um… tell you this, if I uncuff you, and you don’t try to escape, I won’t have a reason to hurt you.” He places both hands on the desk and towers his figure over her. “I don’t want to hurt you, Bonnie, but I need you to listen to me.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s important.”

She sighs. “Fine. I won’t try to escape.”

“Now that’s a good girl. Fractos!”

The chains come undone at once. Bonnie immediately stands up and glances towards the door. 

“Ah-ah-ah, don’t think about it.”

“Motus!” She yells, thrusting both hands at Kai. The boy doesn’t even flinch. Bonnie stares, half out of shock and half out of fear. “Motus!” She tries again.

“Yeah, about that… I kinda siphoned your magic last night. That’s how I was able to get you here. It might take a while to regenerate.”

She glares at him. “No…”

“Yeah,” he clicks his tongue. 

Bonnie then tries a desperate sprint to the door, but gets pushed back by a boundary spell over the entryway. “No!” She yells again.

“You told me you wouldn’t try to escape. Naughty girl.”

“What do you want with me?!”

“All in good time. For now, I just want you to behave.”

“I don’t have time for this! I have to- have to-”

“Help Damon? Get to 1903? Free Lily? Yeah, I don’t think so.” Kai starts to stalk towards her. “See, as much as I love chaos, there was a reason Lily was locked up. She was a ripper, Bonnie, and I doubt her closet full of crazy-pants are any better.”

“Like that’s any different from yourself. Maybe we should lock you up… oh wait.”

Kai chuckles coldly. “Ha ha. Don’t you see I’m trying to keep you safe? Keep your friends safe? Lily here would be a disaster. Two Salvatores in this town are enough.”

“So what? You kidnap me? For how long do you plan to keep me here?”

“As long as I need to.”

“And what? Are we just gonna stare at each other? Draw shapes on the chalkboard? Wait for my magic to recover so I can kick your ass?”

“I’ve thought about that.” His smirk comes back and he holds a finger in the air. Kai makes his way towards the desk. “And while you were unconscious, I did some digging.”

Bonnie remains by the door. Her magic is faint; he siphoned most of it, but if she can keep him talking long enough, it’ll come back eventually. 

“Y’know, this school has a lot of stuff in it. I mean, a lot. In this desk alone, I found eight pencils, a slinky, a calculator that when flipped read “boobs” in numbers, a hairbrush, two things of lipgloss, and an unopened condom. And when I raided the principal’s office, boy, you couldn’t even imagine. But the most fun was when I went through the sports’ closet. They had all the retired uniforms from past years in there, and that’s when I remembered something - you were a cheerleader here! When I kidnapped Elena, I saw your picture in a frame; your team all gathered around. You all looked so cute and happy, but you, especially, were just adorable.” Kai’s hand disappears under the desk now. “What year did it say that you cheered? 2009? Yeah.” Her face pales as he pulls her old uniform out from its hidden spot. “Looked like this, right?”

Bonnie says nothing, but her face tells all.

“I’m going to take that as a ‘yes’.”

“Why do you care?”

“Why do I care? I just told you, Bonnie. You looked so cute in your little photo, and I happened to come across your old uniform. We’re here all alone with nothing to do. Everyone’s on break. So you might as well.”

“I might as well what?”

“Wear it.” She scoffs. “For me,” he adds, which doesn’t help his case. 

“I’m not doing that. Hell no.”

“Don’t be difficult, Bonnie.”

“I’m not doing it! Besides, who’s to say it’ll even fit me anymore?”

He eyes her figure and she immediately wishes she hadn’t said that. “Please, you’re still as small as you were back then. Your skirt might be a little shorter now, but I see that as a plus.”

She rolls her eyes. 

“Come on, Bonnie. Aren’t you even a little curious to see how it fits after a couple years?”

“No, and especially not with you around.”

“I’ll turn when you change.” He crosses his fingers. “Promise.”

She glares at him. “No. Now let me out; you’ve had your fun with me, and I have things to do.”

“We haven’t had any fun yet. You’ve only just woken up.”

“Kai-”

“I’m getting tired of asking. Either you give into what we both know is the best way to spend our time here, or I chain you back up. Which will it be?”

“Kai, I have to-”

“Tell you what,” he interrupts again, “you put it on, and we’ll explore the school together. It’ll be a fun little adventure. A break from the chaos that is our lives. Just two post-grads exploring old stomping grounds.”

“You didn’t even go to school here.”

“Missing the point, Bon. So are you gonna do it or not?”

“No. I-”

“Vodux,” he mutters. In an instant, she’s within arm’s length. Kai grabs her wrist and siphons what little magic has returned, then stares at her. “Which will it be?”

“Fine.” She bodies up to him despite the significant height difference. Kai smiles, and takes her bold posture as an invitation to glance down her shirt. It takes everything in her not to slap him. “Turn around.”

“Yes ma’am.”

To her surprise, he does. 

For a minute, she just stares at the clothes. The uniform is perched on the desk - Alaric’s old one, mind you - and a pair of white shoes sit beside it. She scoffs, realizing he took the time to assemble the whole thing.

“I don’t hear clothes dropping,” Kai says suddenly. 

She sighs, then finally reaches for the hem of her shirt. With anger, she rips it off and throws it at his back, making a whoosh sound before it hits him. He only chuckles. 

“Very tempting not to turn around right now.”

“Don’t you dare.” Thankfully, he stays still. 

Bonnie removes her shoes, then jeans, and knows he can hear the belt buckle that hits the floor. To avoid another comment from him, she speaks first. “So did you even go to high school? Or did your parents decide it was best to keep the freak indoors, away from the public eye?”

Kai laughs. “I went for a few years. Got kicked out in high school for an incident that wasn’t entirely my fault. But then my parents pulled Jo out, too, and they homeschooled both of us. Then they started pulling out and homeschooling the younger ones. It was easier to hide the coven when we were all under the same roof at all times.”

“What was the incident?”

“Huh?”

‘What got you expelled?”

“Oh.” Even with his back turned, she knows he’s smiling. “Got in a fight. Hey, he came at me first and I just finished the job.”

“Sure.”

“Believe what you want, Bonnie, I wasn’t always bad. My parents made me this way. Their anger at me for the way I was born. Their inability to accept the fact that I was still their own blood even though I was different. And it’s funny, they carried the gene and it just happened to appear in me! So you tell me if that’s really my fault.”

Bonnie doesn’t know how to answer. She even finds herself feeling a bit bad for the siphon, despite everything he’s done. There’s a lot of truth in his words. Still… he’s admitting them to her now because he’s kidnapped her… while forcing her to wear an old uniform, probably because of some nauseating kink he has. 

Kai then sighs. “Are you done? I haven’t heard anything for a while.”

“I’m tying the shoes.” She finishes the simple knot. “Done.”

He turns around immediately. Bonnie finds herself genuinely curious about his reaction. Will he like it or hate it? Will he make some vulgar comment, or force her out of it because he decides she looks bad? She’s a little anxious over the possibilities. 

Kai, however, is instantly smitten. If he were a cartoon character, his eyes would’ve turned to big, bulging hearts. Stars would’ve floated atop his head, and his tongue would be out, panting. But instead of that, Bonnie sees a look of lust in his eyes. His posture straightens and his gaze travels all over her form. 

She doesn’t know how to feel now. Admittedly, the man is hot. Never would she say such a thing out loud, but she can allow herself to think it. Before finding the newspaper in 1994, she probably would’ve even tried something with him. She definitely flirted a bit, and he did too, before Damon pried them apart, but if he hadn’t deserved his stay in 1994, she would’ve gladly climbed him like a tree. 

And now, she hates to say it, but his attention feels good. It makes her feel sexy. The fact that this man who seems to hate everyone and everything is downright infatuated with her… it makes her feel powerful. 

“Do you like it, or should I take it off?” She plays with the hem of her shirt.

“No!” He stutters. “I mean, yes, I like it. No, don’t take it off!” He gives himself a couple seconds to recover, then teases, “I knew it would fit you like a glove.”

It’s a little tighter in the breasts, and like Kai suspected, the skirt is a tiny bit shorter, but it still fits perfectly otherwise. “So what, are we exploring now? Or was that just a ploy to get me inside this thing?”

The man’s eyes light up like an excited boy’s. “You would want to?”

“I thought that’s what you said we’d do.”

“Well then come on,” he waves, “let’s explore.”

Kai takes the boundary down from the doorway, but Bonnie figures he has them up along every entry of the school. Besides, she has no magic with which to fight him, so she’s stuck with him until it recovers. 

“So show me where your classes were,” he starts, “what classes did you take in 2009?”

“Well we were just in Alaric’s classroom-”

“Ric’s? As in Josette’s boytoy, Ric?”

“That’s the one.” Bonnie ignores the way he calls his sister by her full name. She’s not even sure she knew that was her full name. “And over here,” she points, “I had my English class. Ric taught history. He came in after our old history teacher was murdered.”

“Who did it?”

Bonnie clicks her tongue as she remembers. “Damon, actually.”

“Classic Damon… killing all of the important people in this town and getting away scot-free.”

Bonnie ignores that too. “And over here, I had chemistry.” When Kai snickers, she shoots him a glare. “And the boy behind me used to flirt with me whenever I’d come into class.” His light expression quickly goes dark. Bonnie chuckles at his sudden change in demeanor. “What kind of classes did you take in high school?” She asks as they continue down the hall.

“Sophomore was my last year in formal public school, but…” he counts on his fingers, “English, history, art-”

“Home ec?” She questions.

“Nah. My father taught me how to cook, if that’s what you’re wondering.” It was. “Probably taught me so I wouldn’t starve when he inevitably sent me to a prison world. If he even cared, maybe he didn’t.”

She feels a little bit of sadness again, however strange, for him. 

“Anyway. Geometry - boy was I shit at that, economics, anatomy,” his eyes light up, “that’s when I learned that the spleen doesn’t really matter.”

Bonnie’s jaw drops. Her sympathy for him is so “one step forward, two steps back”. 

“I even took driver’s ed that year. Of course, my father didn’t want me to learn it, but it was a requirement by the school. Didn’t want me to be able to get out, now did he? Luckily, we only had one car, and if he wasn’t using it, it was locked with an alarm in the garage. And I, not surprisingly, had no magic to surpass the alarms.”

They continue down the hall like he hadn’t just info-dumped about both his abusive childhood and his violent past in a mere couple sentences. 

“So what was your principal’s name?” Kai asks.

“Weber. Yours?”

“Think his name was Nordbye, if I remember correctly.”

“Is he the one that expelled you, too?”

“Yep,” he says, popping the ‘p’. “I liked him, though. Nice guy. Cared. He wasn’t going to expel me; was just gonna give me a warning, but then the other boy’s mother copped a fit and my father told him violence was expected from me because of the way I was born, and that terrified him into expulsion.”

One step forward…

“So then what?”

“Then I got expelled. Then I spent the next four years never leaving my house, much less my room. Then my mother had Luke and Liv, and then she died, and my father got worse and worse, and when I snapped, he blamed everything on me. Even though I had nothing to do with her death.” The last part comes out in a lower voice than the rest.

“How did she die?”

“He never told me the full reason, but I know it was medical. I didn’t hurt her, even if that’s what he might’ve suspected.”

“Why would you have hurt her?” Bonnie quickly rephrases, “why did he think you hurt her?”

Kai turns to her to answer. “Because she had more twins, and he thought I was taking my anger out on her.” He fiddles with a pocket knife Bonnie didn’t know he was holding. “As cold as she was to me, and as cold as they made me, I wouldn’t have hurt her.”

The look in his eyes reminds her of the time that Damon said Kai approached him with guilt over “ruining Jo’s life.” She called bullshit when he told her, but now she wonders if it could’ve been true. 

“Why did you stab Jo, if you would’ve never hurt your mother?” A bold question, but she barely even thinks about it before the words leave her mouth.

“I snapped. Tensions in the house grew without my mother around to soften them. The twins cried all day and all night; the other four were rambunctious as preteens always are. My father was so much angrier than usual, between hating me and blaming me. Even after it was revealed a medical cause of death, he still hated me. If I had been born normal, they wouldn’t’ve had to have more kids. She would still be alive. She wouldn’t have died at the early age of forty.” Bonnie gulps. Eight kids by forty is a lot. Kai’s eyes snap up to her face, but then he looks back to the floor as he continues. “She died in early May, and each year that passed, my father got more violent around that time. He’d scream at the kids if they were too loud. He’d slam things around to demand silence, but would only receive more panic. He’d spend hours by her grave and forget to come in and feed them - Jo would have to do it. Or I would, but I never seemed to do it right in her eyes. And sometimes, if I was in his line of sight when he’d finally come in, he’d take me outside as a personal punching bag until he was too weak to throw anymore hits. Or, if he were crying too hard to continue. His anger was often directed at me, too, if the kids were silent for once in their lives. He needed a place to express his hatred for the world, and eight kids that were only born to benefit a coven seemed to be the best option.”

“You said something like that before, that the coven always came first.”

Kai nods. “When you’re told at the age of four that either you or your sister will die for the stupid coven, life already seems pretty pointless. You’re in some stupid competition to see who wins - who gets to live - when neither of you want to play. You just want to be kids. But then they decide that since you were born different because of a generational curse, neither of you get to play anymore. And that’s great, because you don’t want to, but at the same time, you’re eliminated because you have no value to your family. And neither did the four kids in between Josette and I, and Luke and Liv. They aren’t twins; they don’t matter. When they finally produce a set that could lead - and neither are flawed in the way you are - you start to feel a little angry. That’s not even including the names my father would call me, nor the type of hand he’d hold to my face. The same hand that held Josette’s crying face when she got a B on a test is the same one that hit me on mine when I got the same grade on the same test.”

Kai bites his tongue, eyes glued to the floor, as he seems to suddenly remember where he is. He doesn’t dare look at the girl in front of him, and he doesn’t speak anymore on the topic. 

“You can go,” he says suddenly, “if you want. I’ll take the boundary spell down.”

Bonnie hesitates. This is her chance to run, to escape. He’s giving her an out to whatever crazy plans he’s made for her. Though… this is also her chance to try and reach him. He involuntarily has entered the most vulnerable state in which she’s ever seen him. Maybe all he needs to tone it down a notch is for someone to listen. 

“Kai?” She backs herself up to the wall, desperate to lean against something as she searches for the right words.

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?”

“Frankly, I have no idea what we were talking about ten minutes ago.”

Bonnie racks her brain. “Classes. Principals.”

“Ah, right.”

“What was the name of your high school?” She wants to get his mind on another topic before tiptoeing back into the one about his childhood. It seems safer, somehow.

“Parkrose.”

“Do you remember the colors?”

“Green, white, and blue, maybe? Was blue included? I don’t know.”

“Can you walk with me?”

He falls in step beside her without answering. 

“You never mentioned your mother while we were in the prison world.”

“Didn’t seem relevant.”

“Not even when you took me back to your childhood home?”

“Didn’t know how much I could say,” he admits, “considering you didn’t seem to care when I mentioned my father and how he treated me.”

“You didn’t discuss your sister much, either. I was shocked to learn she’s the same woman that teaches Elena’s pre-med class now.”

“I didn’t quite have that information, either, until I got out of the prison world.”

“Fair point.” She takes a deep breath. “I can see why you snapped. It doesn’t make it okay, but I understand what led to it.”

His eyes snap up to her. “Really?”

“Elena told me that when your father learned there was a chance you could escape - when we were trapped there alone after Damon returned back to the modern world - he acted immediately and quite impulsively. Except, it didn’t seem so impulsive to him; it seemed planned. Premeditated. Like a desperate backup plan.”

“What did he do?”

“Tried to kill Jo. Burned a locket of hers. It would’ve killed her if Elena hadn’t healed her with her blood.”

Kai seems shocked to have learned his father targeted his favorite child. 

“We might’ve had a shitty past together; both of us taking turns at the other’s throat for weeks, but you tried to apologize and I pushed you into the mud.”

“This is where I remind you, you stabbed me first over there.”

She spins on her heels to face him. “Don’t push it.” Her face is stern, but there’s a hint of a smile, too. She turns back around to the hallway. “I believed everything you said about him. I met Luke and Liv in college, and they mentioned their dysfunctional family every so often. And then Elena recounted what happened to Jo, as well as the story she told prior, of what went down with you. The reason she thinks you snapped,” Bonnie clarifies, " is because you were born different and you didn’t like it. You consciously decided to take your anger out on everyone. You couldn’t deal with them thinking you were unable to lead and snapped.” She sighs. “But even though I wanted to believe that, deep down, I couldn’t, because I had spent two months with you in close quarters, and knew there was more to it than that.” Bonnie stops outside of Alaric’s classroom. “I’m sorry your father was abusive; I’m sorry you were raised with the knowledge that you would die or kill your sister. That’s not a way to grow up.” She then repeats, “it doesn’t make it okay, but I can understand why it happened.”

“Thank you,” he whispers, standing close. In the next moment, he reaches for her hand. He can feel the magic returning to her, running through her veins, they both can. Bonnie bites her tongue, wondering what he’ll do. Kai, though, doesn’t siphon. He drinks in her smell, the faint perfume, the slightly musky scent of the from-the-vault uniform. He closes his eyes and wills himself not to kiss her. 

Bonnie finds herself unexpectedly calm despite the proximity. If he wanted to hurt her, he would’ve done it by now. 

“What was your mascot?” She blurts out. She might be calm, but that doesn’t mean she can’t sense the tension returning to settle in between them.

He smiles. “Broncos.”

“Did you have a thing for cheerleaders then, too?”

He chuckles lightly. “Yes. But never one as much as I like you.”

Her heart races, and her hands find the front of his chest. She doesn’t push him off, but instead rests them in place. 

“Do you really believe me this time?”

“Yes.”

He brings a hand up to her face, stroking her cheek with one finger. “Bon?”

“Yes?”

“Would you push me away if I kissed you?”

She finds herself gulping. “No.”

Despite asking, he’s slow to move forward, as if giving her time, still, to push him away. She doesn’t though, and lets him close the gap between their lips. He’s gentle, almost barely there, and remains so until she kisses back. As soon as she does, he gets more into it, kissing harder. He trails his unoccupied hand down the side of her body, letting it graze the red fabric before resting it on her bare hip, where the crop top exposes. His fingers are slightly cold, making her gasp and shiver. In the split second that her mouth is open, he slinks his tongue inside. He tastes her only for a moment, then pulls away to check on her.

“You okay?”

Nervousness clouds her eyes, but she nods. “I’m okay.”

Kai kisses her again, now more forcefully. Bonnie’s hands find his neck and pull him closer. Kai lets her, but not without hoisting her legs up first. He taps on her hips and lifts her into the air. Her back presses into the wall, skirt riding up even more from the position. 

Bonnie chuckles. “I’m taller than you.”

“Not for long,” he teases. He carries her into the classroom, then sits her down on the desk. Her skirt hides nothing, and his mouth waters at the sight. 

“Is this okay?” He taps her thigh.

“Yes.” She lowers her body until she’s lying down on her elbows. Her heels rest against the edge of the desk and with quick motions, he frees her from the tight shoes. Bonnie visibly relaxes once out of them. Kai’s fingers move gently to pull her panties down her legs. The cold air makes her inhale, and he’s quick to put two fingers against her clit.

“Kai?”

“Yes?”

“Your fingers are cold.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I can warm them up.”

“Please,” she says through clenched teeth. 

He starts to rub circles over her clit, and her body quickly reacts. Her lips part and a soft moan escapes through them. It encourages him on, as he dips his fingers into her core when he believes she’s starting to get wet. 

“Oh,” she whines, throwing her head back harshly, almost slipping.

“Careful.” 

She tightens her grip on the wood and watches him.

One hand rests on her knee while the other continues to get her wet enough to take him. Kai has no problem getting hard for her, as apparent by the outline in his jeans. She can feel her core throb just by looking at it. 

“Those look tight,” she nods. Kai looks down to follow her gaze and smiles, as if caught in the act. Before he can speak, she pokes at his bulge with her foot. 

“Bon-” Nothing else comes out, his throat going dry at the tease. She runs her foot slowly along his length. When he glances up, her tongue is peeking out from the side of her mouth. “Bon,” he starts again, shifting his weight. 

He’s not about to give in before he can taste her, though, so a second later, he carefully pulls her foot away from him and lowers himself to her level. Bonnie catches on immediately. When he lets go of her, she rests her heel back on the desk. He kisses her ankle, up her leg to her thigh, and then finally gives her clit its first kitten lick by his tongue. Her hands bury in his hair, urging him on. She can feel the dimples from his smile against her skin. 

“Oh,” she moans softly, tugs harder. 

Kai puts his hand on her hips to keep her down while increasing the speed in which he flicks his tongue against her. He ducks his head to enter her, tongue exploring all crevices that his fingers just had, and soon, his cock will. 

In the midst of it, Bonnie pokes him with her foot again for his attention. 

“Hm?”

“Need,” she reaches towards his fingers with her own.

“Need me to touch you?”

“Yes.”

His eyes light up with the fact that she seems to be enjoying this just as much as he is. Kai then moves two fingers to rub at her clit again, rather harshly, but just as she needs it. 

“This good?”

“Perfect.”

Kai finds a pace and keeps it. Within the next couple minutes, she finds herself getting close.

“Don’t stop,” she urges, “please.”

He doesn’t, nor does he slow down in his ministrations. 

“I’m close,” she mutters. He can tell, by the way her body tenses and her wetness seems to flood his face. “Don’t stop. I- oh god-”

One thing he never expected is for Bonnie to be vocal during sex. He likes it.

“Kai- I- urrgh!” And with that, she comes. 

He continues to eat her out through her orgasm, and doesn’t let up until she’s catching her breath. Little cries and moans of his name still fall from her lips, but her grip has weakened on his hair. Kai attaches his lips to her and sucks her juices before rising back to his feet. Bonnie wastes no time pulling him close by the shirt and tasting herself off his lips. 

As she kisses him, she puts her foot back on his bulge. It’s grown since the last time she felt it.

“Ready?” He asks into her mouth. 

“Yes.”

He’s quick to undo his belt and lets it drop to the floor. Her heart speeds up with anticipation. When he finally pulls himself out, she lets out a little gasp. Kai’s of average size and girth, to the best of her knowledge, but she’s more reacting to the prospect of taking someone again. She’d only lost her virginity last year, and her relationship with Jeremy never had the chance to travel too far into the sexual realm. 

“You okay, Bonnie?” Kai senses her sudden anxiety. 

“Mhm. Just… been kinda a long time.”

He seems to get shy, then, too. “Yeah, um… me too. Are you sure you’re ready?”

“Just start slow.”

“‘Course.”

He lines himself up with her, and she puts her legs over his shoulders. As soon as he starts to enter her, he lets out a husky moan. He pushes inside, watching her face, until he reads it’s far enough, then slowly starts to pull out. Kai slips out a couple of times at first. He bites his lip, a bit fearfully, then retries. 

After a moment, Bonnie asks the dreaded question. “Have you done this before?”

“No,” he admits, looking anywhere but her face now. 

“It’s okay.” She’s quick to assure. “Take a deep breath.”

“Do you want to stop?”

She gives him a quizzical look. “Why would I want to do that?”

“Because I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“That’s okay, we all have to start somewhere. Judging by what you told me about your childhood and how controlling your dad was, I’m not surprised.”

He cocks his head. “You’d go this far with me knowing I was possibly…”

“I don’t see what’s wrong with it. I was until just last year.”

“Was your boyfriend?”

“No, he lost it a long time ago. But he was gentle with me through it, and now I’m gonna be gentle with you, okay?”

Kai seems hesitant, but lets her hold the base of his cock and help him push back into her. 

“Don’t pull out all the way until you’ve found a rhythm. You don’t even, really, have to pull out all that much if you’d prefer.” She lets him go and rests back onto her elbows. “Now keep your hands wherever you feel like you need to. Once you get the hang of it, drop one down and rub the clit, because most girls can’t get off from actual intercourse anyway.” Kai doesn’t react to that, as if he already knew it, but he does nod at taking her advice to not pull out too far. “And you were doing a good job of keeping an eye on my reactions, making sure it’s not too much. That’s good. Also… remember to pull out in time. I certainly wasn’t expecting this today and I don’t think either of us have protection. I’m trusting you on this one, Kai.”

“Why are you trusting me?” He asks suddenly.

“I… I don’t know.” She bites her cheek before confessing, “maybe being around you today brought up some old feelings from our time in the prison world. Maybe I’ve finally decided to let myself give into them.”

The man smiles. “So you did feel something for me?”

She gives him a playful smack on his hand. “Don’t let that get to your head.”

“No promises, baby.” Before she can react, he’s kissing her again. After another minute, his thrusts resume. Bonnie wraps her legs around his waist and pulls him closer, simultaneously helping him find a rhythm. He has one hand on the desk and the other cupping her cheek. 

He’s a little choppy, still, but as he gets comfortable, he gets better, too. 

“This okay?”

“Mhm.”

Kai drops his lips from hers to her neck. His hand snakes down in between their bodies - Bonnie lets go of her tight hold on his waist - and finds her clit. 

“Perfect - oh!”

He kisses her chest overtop the fabric. His apparent frustration with it makes her almost giggle. He wanted her to wear the uniform, now he must deal with the consequences. She bites her lip to keep the giggle at bay, then pushes his head just enough that he nips at her bare skin instead of the school property uniform. Kai seems happy with this decision. He licks at her exposed midriff and leaves kisses in between love bites. Bonnie lets out a yelp the first time he lightly bites, but only out of surprise. The man looks up and winks at her in response. 

It isn’t long before Bonnie feels herself coming up on her second orgasm. She also knows that as soon as she comes, he most likely will, too. In fact, she’s surprised he’s held up as long as he has. Though quickly she’ll learn she spoke too soon as his next couple thrusts get sloppier. His finger on her clit weakens, the intensity of his roughness decreases. 

“You close?” She asks, not wanting any accidents. 

“Mhm, was just about to tell you.”

“I am, too. Just… there, don’t stop.”

Kai tries his best to keep his pace. The way she clenches around him makes it difficult. 

“Bon-”

“I’m- oh god. It’s- I am- now,” she bites down on her tongue. “Kai!”

As soon as she comes, he pulls out and splatters her uniform. This time, he doesn’t keep his hands on her throughout her orgasm, and instead strokes himself rapidly until he’s finished. Bonnie props herself up to watch better just as a short second wave hits her cheek. Some hits the floor, too, and a bit oozes down the underside of his cock. 

“Sorry,” he mutters, seeing it on her face. He lets go and stabilizes his hands on the edge of the desk. 

“I think you should be saying sorry to the school more than to me,” she jokes. He watches her swipe it off her face with her finger, then, much to his surprise, stick out her tongue. He narrows her eyes and she only shrugs. “Not too bad, actually.”

“As compared to…?”

“Dunno. Never tried it before.” Kai cocks his head. Bonnie teases, “when I lost my virginity, we used a condom.”

“Right.” He sends her an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that.”

“Did you kidnap me with the intent of having sex with me and deliberately not bring a condom, or did it just work out this way?”

“I didn’t really have a plan, I just wanted to keep you here,” he replies sheepishly. 

“A-huh, I see. Well,” she swipes off what landed on her uniform, “I tried it, only fair now that you do.”

Kai chuckles. “Been there.”

“Hold up-”

“I spent eighteen years in complete isolation, you don’t think I’ve done that?”

“Right,” she says now. “So you have kind of done this before, just not with a real person.”

“If you wanna put it that way, yes.”

“So like… with a blanket, or a fleshlight, or…?”

“A what?”

“A fl- wait, when were those even invented?”

She searches for her phone, and then Kai pulls it out from behind the desk.

“Thanks… little thief,” she jokes. “Siri?” She speaks into the phone. “When was the fleshlight invented?”

The robot reports, “The fleshlight was invented in 1995 by Steven Shubin when-”

She mutes her phone to cut it off. “1995.”

“Let me see a picture.”

Bonnie turns her phone so he can see the photo Siri pulled up in relation to her search.

“1995? Dammit, I just missed that stupid thing!” He pouts.

She fights the urge to giggle. “Well at least now you know.”

His frustrated sigh turns into a low chuckle, and at that point, Bonnie lets herself laugh, too. After a moment, she starts to lower herself off the desk. He reaches out a hand to guide her. 

“If it’s okay with you, I’m gonna take this thing off. It’s not the most comfortable thing to wear, and wasn’t then either.”

“Okay. You look hot in it, though.”

“Thank you. I figured you thought that when you practically drooled at seeing me in it.”

“I did not-”

“You might as well have!” She softens. “But seriously, thanks. It feels good to hear.”

He winks. When Bonnie turns her back to change, he pulls up his pants. He finishes dressing before her, but keeps his back turned. 

“So, um… not to change the topic, but-”

“Yes?”

“What changed?”

“What?”

“You said you decided to let yourself explore what you denied to feel in the prison world. What changed your mind to let you do it today?”

She collects her thoughts before answering. “What you told me about your childhood. Not the fact that you were abused, but the fact that you were hurt for things that weren’t even your fault. Initially, in that prison world, you seemed so cocky about the way you had done everything. It was hard to see any humanity left in you. But then over time, including that time you cooked for me, the mold started to crack and I could see there was more to it.” She turns to face him, now fully dressed. A hand on his shoulder lets him know he can turn around, too. “You’re not just a psychopath who killed them for fun. You were a kid, outcasted and tormented, who snapped. I said it before, it doesn’t make it okay, but it does help me understand you.”

“Do I remind you of Damon? I know he had a pretty bad kill streak.”

“No,” Bonnie shakes her head, “Damon got better because he fell in love with Elena. You’re getting better because you’ve started to trust me with the truth.”

He lets this sink in, but then lets out a small chuckle. “Well, I might be a little like Damon in the regard that love for a girl got me better, but… I see your point.”

Bonnie smiles. She doesn’t quite know how to address that confession, but she wants him to know she heard it. They’ll cross that bridge another day. 

“So, um… I guess I should let you get back. He’s probably worried sick about you.”

She nods. “Though I do have another confession.”

“What’s that?”

“You’re right, about Lily. I don’t think bringing her here is a good idea, either. I would’ve, for Damon’s, and ultimately Caroline’s, sakes, but not happily. One ripper loose in this town is enough.”

“I don’t care too much for anyone in this town,” Kai admits, “but the spells of the prison worlds are bound with Bennett blood. Lily would’ve ripped you to shreds just for being a descendant of those that trapped her. Like hell I’d even give her the chance to hurt you.”

Bonnie smiles sweetly, touched by his caring words. She reaches up on her tiptoes to kiss him softly. Kai returns it, then brushes a piece of her hair back with his finger once they break apart. 

“Do you have any other ideas to get Stefan and Caroline back?” She asks, a hand on his chest.

“Maybe Stefan wasn’t Caroline’s emotional trigger. Maybe it’s her mom. Maybe it’s you. And then, maybe, Caroline turning hers back on will trigger Stefan’s back on.” Kai offers. “I can look into solutions, if you’d like. Those thousands of ancestral grimoires are bound to have something helpful.” His face then lights up. “You can look at them, too, if you’d like.”

Learning new magic always excites Bonnie. The prospect of Kai showing her centuries of his coven’s knowledge, to not only learn more, but also get to know him better, has her smiling from ear-to-ear. “Yeah, I’d like that.” She pulls away from him, convincing herself to leave his company. 

“Really?”

“Mhm.” She playfully tosses the wrinkled cheerleader uniform at him and grins. “See you around, Parker.”

He catches it, then throws her a lopsided smile and a wink. 

[autumnalfallingleaves]

hey, here’s the deal (we’re back in business) Chapter Two: you’re such a big mess (and i love you)

AO3

reblogs are highly appreciated, and please do not repost my art

The portal works, and Marcy stands in Newtopia. 

Or, well, where Newtopia used to be. It’s still a huge mess, and the castle is still lopsided over on a different island, but still. Newtopia. 

She’s standing in a more repaired part of the city- sorta near where the castle used to be but far enough from where it ripped itself out of the ground that it’s not too badly damaged- having just stepped through Terri’s portal (and Terri is SO COOL) into Amphibia. Anne and Sasha have already gone through their own portals, Anne destined for Wartwood and Sasha for the remains of the southern Toad Tower. She’d wanted to meet up with Grime, but unlike the Plantars or Olivia and Yunan, they really couldn’t be sure where the old captain would be, but Sasha had said it was a good start. Toads were really stubborn and they probably would’ve tried to rebuild the tower by now. 

So they were there, and Marcy was here. Looking for Olivia and Yunan, who would probably be together. 

Marcy wonders if they’re married yet. 

She turns to look at the horizon (the blue, blue sky and the lush green mountains, so unlike LA), and, well, looks like she ended up basically right exactly where she landed in Amphibia the first time! Though she hasn’t fallen down any stairs yet. Probably would be a good idea to avoid that.

“All right,” Marcy hums, hand on her chin, “if I was the king’s former royal advisor and top general, where would I be if the castle got destroyed?” She scans the city and thinks about that. Olivia usually did a lot of paperwork, and Yunan was in charge of a lot of people as a general, so…

“The royal offices!” Marcy snaps her fingers as it comes to her. “Of course! If you’re putting together a new government ‘cause the old one failed ‘cause the king betrayed everyone, you gotta do a lot of paperwork!” And the offices should still be standing because they were on a lower tier of the city and not in the castle itself. Yeah! They should be there, and if they’re not, someone there will probably know. And she’s Marcy Wu, Chief Ranger! People know her! She can probably get some directions there. 

Read the rest on AO3

[jaegersmoon]

you dont have to answer this but do you have any tips for writing long ass word counts? im writing the first chapter of my fanfic and its only at 5k and im reaching the end of it😭😭 help

I think 5k is good for the first chapter! I believe the first chapter I wrote for okay, bambi was about 7k or something. My word count has just grown over time as I’ve gotten more comfortable with my work and writing style.

I would say, be creative with dialogue. “He says,” “he asks,” are fine to use, but also try not to over use them. Instead, you can say things like “he’s looks at you with questioning eyes, head slightly tilting at an angle of curiosity.” Or “turning around to face you, he blinks, lips split apart.”

That will up your word count and it is also more descriptive which makes it easier for your readers to visualize what is happening in that moment.

Being able to elaborate on internal feelings is important as well. “You think about his question for a moment as all the memories begin to flood in, cracking your chest in half with their heavy weight.”

Inner dialogue, descriptiveness, elaborations on how the character is feeling either physically or mentally can all help your word count. What did the streets look like when the character was walking home? What did the air feel like, smell like? Was their familiarity in the scents? Why? Etc. etc.

Transition sentences are also crucial for success.

My biggest suggestion though is to never force yourself to hit a target WC number. You will only be adding additional stress to yourself, and writing is difficult as it is. If you have hit all of your plot points for said chapter then that’s good. Forced or unnecessary words can make it drag on. It’s important to find a happy medium but that is with trial and error.

Hope this helps<333