#its so fricking humiliating being so clearly hated by ur own family. and made fun of and criticised all the time
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#god sometimes i rmbr the things my family says to me and i just... i dont even know what i want to do#everything just hurts so damn much its like whats even the damn point anymore#my friends are trying to be encouraging and telling me im almost at the end. i can almost leave#but gosh isnt it still at least 2 more years?#and maybe a bit more because idk... maybe i wont have enough money?#its so fricking humiliating being so clearly hated by ur own family. and made fun of and criticised all the time#i genuinely cant be arnd them for long without getting hurt in some way#im just... so so tired.#and its worse cos i cant tell. i cant bloody tell if theyre right or not. and i just feel like such a horrible horrible horrible perso#like theyd rather i never existed#and sometimes i do too. in a screwed up way. and i try to remind myself otherwise but god#i feel like a complete failure. so so so often#i thought i was feeling better lately. and maybe i am. but... gosh crying two days in a row after feeling on edge for about 5#that sucks man. im rly gng thru it
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