#and maybe a bit more because idk... maybe i wont have enough money?

[heartbeatbookclub]

yooo do u have any headcanons for what the girls (maybe even mc idk) would do after highschool?

My most confident answer is that I think Sayori would be a teacher. Maybe a daycare worker? I'd even say a child psychologist/school counselor. I've said this before, but I think Sayori would be amazing with kids, and would probably find working with children very gratifying. She's patient, she's compassionate, and she's very receptive. She'd be spending a lot of her time helping children struggling with similar issues that she did when she was young, and I think she'd really take pride in that.

As for her journey to get there after high school, I feel like she'd probably struggle a lot with college, but would eventually find her footing, especially with her support network around her. I don't think she'd want to spend a terribly long period of time getting multiple degrees and fighting for a super good position, either; I get the sense she'd want to start working as soon as possible, which might come back to bite her depending on which career she chooses...

Monika's a bit tough to say. It feels like a bit of a cop-out to say she'd take a coding job, but I do think that's a possibility. I also don't really think something like being a concert pianist would be something she'd seriously consider; in the first place, doing that as a career is inherently volatile, in the second, I don't think Monika would ever really have the confidence in herself to consider playing professionally. I'd imagine one of her friends would probably encourage her to try it, and although she might make some money off of a few gigs, it's always a side thing, and never something she'd consider diving headfirst into.

I get the sense that Monika's high standards for herself probably aren't entirely self-imposed. Girl's got gifted kid syndrome out the nose; I think if any of the girls were seriously considering college, Monika would be the one who felt the most pressure to get in and succeed. Conversely, I think of any of them that would go to college, she would have the absolute worst experience.

Maybe she goes in for a premed program. Maybe law. Maybe something in STEM that is similarly difficult to get through. Something with a high bar to pass, something with a lot of pressure riding on her success. Something likely to put a lot of debt over her head even with scholarships.

And under all of that pressure, she snaps. Maybe she drops out. Maybe she takes a year off. Maybe she fails an entire semester. Regardless, I think she's wont to put a whole lot of pressure onto herself, and then have a nervous breakdown when she can't keep it together, regardless of her support network. I think she'd probably end up in a period where she'd have to reevaluate what her actual goal in life is.

And I think she'd ultimately find it, and be significantly more satisfied with the result than if she just stuck it out wherever she was.

I don't really think Yuri would have very high aspirations. I think she'd hate working in something like fast food or retail, but then again she probably wouldn't enjoy working in general, especially in customer facing environments. Maybe something like a bookstore or coffee shop would be more tolerable. It's kinda funny because I have an old concept of a mild self-insert crackfic which involves Yuri coming to work at my Subway (which is a further offshoot of an old concept of Basil from Omori working at my Subway), so maybe she'd work there.

I think her dream job would be as a novelist, and while I don't really think she'd probably end up being some super famous writer, I do think she'd probably put enough effort into an original work that it would be passable. Now, convincing her to send it to a publisher? Hahaha good luck. In fact, I doubt she'd show anyone for a long, long time. But, with some encouragement, she might self-publish on, like, Amazon. Maybe start a patreon or something related to it, idk. Either way, she'd probably see it as a side-gig similarly to Monika.

I think Natsuki would be in a similar position to Yuri, though she'd have much more dislike of working retail or food-service just because she hates customer service explicitly and lacks a lot of the patience for it. I think there's a number of reasons why Natsuki wouldn't have particularly high aspirations for herself, but that's another story. She'd probably be quick about trying to get into her own place, though.

I think Natsuki would be a Twitch streamer. Completely deadass, I think of anyone in the group she's the most likely, and I think she'd go for it. I think she'd be a Vtuber, and she'd go all in on making her own model. I think that again, this would all be more of a side-gig, but she'd probably enjoy herself doing it, even if she had trouble finding her footing at first.

MC would probably work the most dead-end jobs between high school and a more stable career. I think he'd probably go to college for compsci just because he's a generic man (although they don't call them programmer socks for nothing ;)) and then get a shitty IT helpdesk job which is mostly fixing printers and installing drivers.

[yuukei-yikes]

Here’s a Harutaka ask for you! Do you think they’d get married? If yes what do you think their wedding would be like? Also I hope you feel better soon!

HIII if it isnt the little guy i watched slowly get into kagepro. whatsup. how are u holding up being into kagepro. ALSO THANK U im already a lil better i ate 1 single boiled egg and now im laying in bed

yes haruka and takane 10000% get so married. i have this silly headcanon that haruka is begging her from day 1 to get married because IDK he's just excited about being alive and takane liking him💗💗💗 and maybe he is also terrified of her changing her mind abt liking him and for some reason thinks getting married will solve that feeling of feeling not good enough for her💗💗💗 wait who said that. but takane's all like No haruka we're only like 20 and he's like AUUUUGGGHHH!!! fine

honestly its a hc born from a bit in the novels (im not sure u read them) where haruka says man i wish takane stopped swearing so much she's gonna have a hard time finding a husband💔💔💔 ITS SO FUNNY TO ME idk likeeee since he knew he'd die, he never imagined being an adult at all. this is more in the territory of the early twenties crisis he apparently has post str i guess. which is also hilarious.

i think haruka's like... he thinks of marriage of this weird alien thing bc as a teen he wont even entertain the idea of dating or anything bc HES DYING like he literally shoots down the acknowledgement of his feelings for takane BECAUSE he is dying. he's like man whats the fucking point if im just gonna die this sucks ASS

so marriage. well it's an adult thing. and he turns out to be alive!! and takane REALLY LIKES HIM FOR SOME REASON!!! and he's like WELL WERE ADULTS ARENT WE WHY THE HELL SHOULDNT WE GET MARRIED???? takane's like because we're BARELY adults like BARELY. and also IN SO MUCH NEED OF THERAPY. and haruka's like i dont see how that's related🙄🙄🙄 whatever takane ur such a bore🙄🙄🙄 its just a silly argument they laugh and tease each other about *rips hair out* theyre so CUTE AUGGHHH

yeah they do eventually get married. not IMMEDIATELY though but still probably rly young. like before their mid twenties young. LOL!!! as for a wedding i dont think they'd actually care about one??? because haruka and takane are really introverted ppl and being the center of attention mortifies both. well takane's used to attention bc streamer slay but its not. the same. like that's different BASICALLY i dont think takane would care to throw money in something like this and haruka is also like whatever man just sign the paper so i can officially be ur boywife. they still probably have like a little get together with the dan though. maybe they dont even tell them they're like OH BY THE WAY WE DID SOMETHING FUNNY TODAY wjxnoefuoendoefundkc call shintaro&ayano on the phone like can u come with us to sign as our witnesses. and shintaro and ayano are like WITNESSES OF WHAT? erm. haruka&takane engaged for exactly 14 hours when haruka asks takane to marry him for the millionth time and this time she's like uhhh. yeah alright👍

thats my harutaka wedding hc. that theyre too lazy to have a wedding🫡 ayano mourns it so much she's been like wedding planning her whole life for her siblings. seto&mary get ultra married as soon as theyre 18 im not getting into those hcs i already did but ayano goes so crazy with it. and then haruka&takane are next (tho years later) and ayano's like WH?? BUT IM?? SUPPOSED TO PLAN ANOTHER WEDDING????? WHAT DO U MEAN U WONT MAKE ONE???? and theyre like 🤷‍♂️ maybe she forces them and she organizes it alone and forces them to kiss in front of everyone and only then stops being annoying. sorry i love crazed wedding planner ayano

[renewingagain]

monday 12 august 2024 // 22:14pm

feeling some emotions today

tomorrow is my last day at work!!!! and then i leave sheffield IN 5 DAYS

wow i havent even started packing yet gosshhhh i cba lol but gotta be done

hate that i keep writing about benjamin lol but gotta be honest w myself anyway he appears on my insta every now and then cus i still follow a couple of his mates .. hes in london now i think which is amazing to see but hes essentially living what i wanna do now and ugh i still think about him !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i miss his smell

anyway im just also feeling lots of emotions because the future is still soooo uncertain.....honestly have no idea what im gonna be doing when i move and idk its scary, im looking forward to having a break but its still scary

i am extremely grateful that i can take some time away from work and live at home with my parents who wont charge me any rent or anything like that. but im still scared.

lets think. what am i scared of?

im scared i'll never get in to the career i want to get into, im scared about living at home and maybe being a bit depressed again, im scared about hiding myself a bit ... its not like i can have a boy around or anything like that

but again, what is just a few months of grafting and working out a plan in comparison to the absolute rest of my life!

i have a lot of friends who care about me and a lot of family, i need to stop feeling alone. i am safe and well and i am loved. but sometimes i do feel lonely and i dont know why. is it just the affection that i am missing

i am very nervous about leaving sheffield because it is such a big change, i dont know when i will get my next level of independence. but it is incredibly important to remain positive in times like this. i think it is better to be optimistic then pessimistic. its never really that good to be catastrophizing all the time because you truly never know what is going to happen in life.. you have to learn to let go of that control

i know i dont really believe in God that much any more but there is a small part of me that still does, and to let go and to let God can actually bring some comfort in to it all...

i just hope i have enough money to get through the next few months and i hope things work out

WHO CARES if i have to take a low paying apprenticeship. who cares! i have vision, drive, ambition. i can create goals. again, i want to be very grateful that i can live somewhere for cheap and do an apprenticeship and start over. not many people get that opportunity!!!!!!!!!!!

i am looking forward to looking after myself when i head home. no drinking, back on running and working out. NO SUGAR. strictly water and getting fit

music stuff will absolutely work out too :)

everything is going to be ok

[guitarbrain]

ok. smtvv soundtrack. i’ll be editing this post as i listen through it just to ramble about my thoughts on it, so this post is gonna be a disorganized mess. once i'm done i'll probably make a new post to put things in a more logical order.

i know it’s kinda hard to judge a game’s soundtrack if you’re just listening to it and don’t have the context of what is happening in-game as each song plays but idk. i don’t feel like giving atlus any money until i know the game will be worth it. so i'll just be listening to the music. my thoughts are under the cut

i also have to say, im probably gonna skip a lot of the more ambient tracks that play for cutscenes and stuff cuz if they’re anything like the original game then they don’t have a lot of interesting stuff going on and work best when they’re. yknow. in the background of a cutscene. i won't be commenting much on the quest songs either. my focus is mostly on whatever really stands out to me, mainly character and battle themes.

the soundtrack is organized into 3 discs, so that's how i'll organize this post as well.

disc 1:

the first two songs, hallucination and omen, set a really interesting tone. it still has a really similar feeling to the original game which i am happy to hear. hallucination has those choirs and then goes all in on that electronic sort of beat which i think is a really cool blend with the vocals. i would assume this is the title screen music, but im not sure. omen is a lot more mellow sounding and sounds a lot like the stuff you’d hear from the original game, but something about this gives a slightly different feeling. not sure what it is.

yoko’s theme (i assume?) doesn’t really stand out as anything fantastic to me. idk. maybe it’s just because i don’t have context for who she is as a character, but this song feels a little plain to me. a lot like her design, but that’s not what i’m here to talk about :))

first battle theme. beast of blood. this is already Very different from the battle music in the original game. i like the distorted synth they get going like a minute in. this song feels a lot more electronic than the stuff in the original game, and really cuts back on that noisy style that most of the battle music had. this one isn’t a wall of noise like something like battle da’at has. it definitely gives a different feeling, though i don’t really prefer it. it’s certainly a cool song but it just doesn’t have a lot of energy to it. hopefully the battle songs after this will have some more intensity.

ok damn. i said all that and now the next song is the vengeance version of battle da’at. i’m glad they kept the noisy sound it has, but they definitely cut back some of it. the original song felt like there really was no empty space, which i really love about it. feels like the music has no room to breathe and makes the battle feel more intense. i think the vengeance version still has a similar level of noise, but having the drums be much more clear makes that background noise feel a lot less threatening. love the weird sounding tone on that guitar riff towards the end, and i really love how they leave a small gap for the drums to ring out a bit before the song loops. given some time for this one to grow on me i think i may start to prefer it over the original. i think they did a really great job with this version

the demon haunt music. i don’t think it’s anything too special and i have some Opinions on the demon haunt so uh. wont get into that

ok uuh. fool sru shin sounds like a shop song to me. weird as hell. i like it. i wonder if i’m right about the shop thing cuz i don’t care enough to look into where this song plays

first contact with the quadištu song. this one sounds extremely tense. again i don’t know much about what actually happens in the game but this song helps me make a decent guess at that, which means they did a good job i think.

the quatištu battle music is really interesting. still keeping up the same style as the other battle songs so far. this sounds like it has splatoon vocals in it which is kinda funny. but i really like this song. it’s just weird as hell and feels kinda threatening

young man’s room is a cool song i like that it sounds like a music box almost. i’m curious where it plays in game. it’s not exactly a peaceful song either, it sounds super dissonant and just sounds slightly wrong and uncomfortable, but doesn’t exactly feel directly threatening either

i really like quest miyazu. i am taking this as a good sign that she’s actually gonna get screentime outside of some random line of side quests. i hope. but the song is very nice and reflects her personality (or at least the little scraps of it you can see in the original game) quite well

a random side note: i like that they still took the quest songs as an opportunity to play around with different kinds of instruments and musical styles. it allows some freedom with experimenting without compromising the overall style and tone of the game's music. if that makes sense.

battle speedster. the intro is very old megaten to me, and i love the sort of messy guitar. i think the like. car zooming sound is interesting? that combined with my initial thought about it sounding like older smt songs is making me think about chris the car from smt ii. not sure if that's a good or bad thing. i love the guitar tone they have, it's really unique and sounds super gritty and grimy. and i'm a big fan of the choppy sort of sound they have towards the end, it's another one of those sounds they have been using a lot that sounds almost like vocals but not exactly like them. i don't really know what i'm talking about here, i just have to say i really really like this song. though i wonder if it could end up getting a bit repetitive over time.

sahori and tao. this song already really is interesting. the song immediately starts out with the super dissonant piano. they don't even give you nice sounding notes to start, it throws you right in to this really broken sounding tune. i don't know much about how sahori and tao have been written in vengeance, but i think having this song with two different piano parts playing out of tune with each other and clashing is fitting for their relationship. sahori struggling and feeling broken by the bullying she's endured, but never getting help from tao because she never asks for it and tao doesn't reach out to her either. really interesting song. i love it and it makes me eager to see how tao and sahori interact in the new storyline.

dinner party and ace detective pixie are more examples of songs that make me really curious about where they play in game. they feel like you'd be solving a mystery while they play and i really hope that's the case because i think that would be funny. but dinner party sounds like it would go well with a stealth section. and i like that they went all in with the bass in ace detective pixie. i think these songs would sound even better with context in-game, because they do stand well on their own but feel a little confusing when they are such a huge break from the other music in this soundtrack.

song of kinmamon is really interesting to be because in terms of the sounds they used in this song, it sounds like it should be something tense, but melodically it gets lighter and as they introduce more instruments/sounds that also lightens up the tone of the song as well.

heels and horizons is weird as fuck. again with the splatoon vocals. but i think it's super cool i like the beat and the really bloopy electronic sound it has.

battle gliding is yet another song that has an intro/beginning section that reminds me of old smt music. they're also throwing together a lot of different instruments and sounds into this one which actually works quite well and makes every section of the song sound different while still having some cohesion. i like this one a lot as well.

disc 2:

battle deadlock is interesting because it really doesn’t sound like its battle music. i like the end of it but i don’t know how fun it would be to fight enemies while this song plays. i feel like it’s a bit too tame. but maybe i’d change my opinion if i heard it play in game. idk

humanity and its future has the motif from the original game. i think this is the first time i have properly heard it aside from in battle da’at, but that had been changed slightly. i like that they have some kind of ambient sounds behind the piano. and again it’s a somewhat similar thing to sahori and tao where it’s a little bit dissonant with the lower piano line sometimes playing “wrong” notes.

i’m gonna lump all the songs for the new area of da’at into this paragraph. shinjuku gyoen is really cool starting out quiet with the kind of shrill sounding melody. i love the drums kicking in like a third of the way in. this is a really cool song and i think it will be even cooler playing in the background of exploring. jingu naien has a really different sound starting out, with that sort of out-of-tune bell sound. this is another one of those songs where im getting an image of what kind of area it would play in. but i won’t say what that image is in case im wrong.

quest poison gas man is super cool is has that really loud drum beat and there’s really no melody it has that loud front sound that reminds me of battle dancing crazy murder :))

battle alkalic rush is. so fucking cool. i don’t even know where to start with describing it. this shit’s groovy. half of the sounds in this song sound wet. some of them sound like a fart. and it’s awesome. i was thinking this song would be the dancing crazy murder of smtvv but i don’t think that would be an accurate comparison to make.

[confusedsiewmai]

-

[rosalesbeausderholle]

I hear what you're saying about giving people money but clean energy usually IS less expensive but has a start up cost. Its definitely worth doing imo - not only does it reduce CO2 emissions by default but also helps create a demand for renewables, voting with your wallet and all that.

Obviously idk the charity in question, maybe they are just pretentious but often organisations wont have the ability to just hand over money - they arent usually rolling in it themselves, but they might well get funding for specific projects like moving towards renewable energy.

Ive just realised it said reduce energy not move to renewables, my bad lol. I do think that almost makes it less likely they've got money to hand over though, they are likely just some people who know a bit about energy consumption.

Giving them money was me being a bit hyperbolic tbh. I mean most organisations that do any kind of volunteering obviously don't have enough money to give to people that's true, that's the government's job but also this was the Red Cross so I'm sure they have more resources than most orgs so you know, but I digress.

I do think workshops about living as sustainability as possible (within your usual spending range!) aimed at working class people (or anyone for that matter) could be very good because there are ways. But we're in the middle of a heatwave that's killed hundreds in Spain because they weren't allowed to stop working outside due to their precarious employment and you're telling me the solution is for people to turn off that AC/fans that are keeping them safe? The problem is not the use of technologies that keep us safe, even if there are other ways to cooling oneself that people will have to look into (and working class people will be the first to do that because energy costs in Spain continue to be sky high). The problem is that the electricity making the AC work doesn't come entirely from renewable sources!

Sure, reducing is good, both for the environment and for our pockets and we must make conscious choices to reduce our impact as well, but again, blaming poor people for their own energy consumption not being sustainable when they're likely the ones using less energy (because they can't afford it!) when big supermarket and store chains have the AC on so strong that you freeze to death when you enter and there's so many other places you can cut off energy consumption from is very tone deaf. Especially in the middle of summer when we get killing heatwaves every year now. Rn, I don't care that a poor person has their fan on all day. They need that. I care that we haven't completely forbidden the use of fossil fuels yet.

[roughentumble]

OK HOLD ON I HAVE AN IDEA AND IT WONT LEAVE ME ALONE. its a little messy but bear with me plz

AU where geralt and jaskier are both princes

geralt is very serious and honorable, a solemn child. perhaps the bastard son of the king, perhaps just a stray that became like a son to the man, idk. people arent happy about his position but there's nothing much they can do about it other than seethe(perhaps he has doesnt have other children, and this solves the succession problem). he takes his duties very seriously, perhaps a bit TOO seriously, can be a bit of an idealist, a stick-in-the-mud, a very overly-serious child. he has a personal code of honor, and strives to someday do his job very well, and be a good and honest ruler. the problem is that he doesnt quite have a head for matters of state. he has the best tutors money and power can afford, he applies himself diligently, but his mind doesnt quite work that way, and it certainly doesnt come naturally, ESPECIALLY the manners. he can be polite, but he comes off as cold or terse, and he's quick-witted enough but he doesnt always spot barbs or doublespeak for what they are. he's a delight to talk to, truly, but first impressions arent in his favor, and keeping track of the intricate web that is who's relation to who and what might insult them can be quite the headache for him.

on the other hand you have jaskier(perhaps from a neighboring kingdom?) who feels no real fidelity to his land or people, has no Code Of Honor like geralt does, and he tends not to try very hard. but he has a KNACK for it all, especially the social aspects, can pick apart  simple phrase like it's nothing, never second-guesses himself on matters of etiquette. he applies all of this to cause as many subtle problems as he can in whatever social situation he finds himself in, for the delight of it, because he feels bored and stifled. he loves his music, and sitting in wide open fields on a summer's day, and attending exciting lectures, and doesnt have nearly as much interest in the boring minutiae of castle life.

they meet, somehow, for some event, and jaskier is drawn to geralt because there's gossip about the scary, dour young son who's brow is always furrowed like he's considering matters of life and death, and jaskier LOVES to be where the trouble is. geralt, for his part, finds jaskier annoying at first, but jaskier is very openly kind to him, and geralt finds him refreshing. they end up fast friends by the end of the night(gods know geralt's father is happy to see him forging potential political alliances, and jaskier's father's just happy he hasnt caused any incidents.)

anyway idk what happens in the interrim but they get together and it's lovely all around. jaskier teaches geralt to unwind, obviously, but geralt teaches jaskier to grow up a bit and take more of an interest in being a good leader-- which is what he will inevitably be one day. they balance each other out, their respective passions, strengths and weaknesses, etc. idk much about court politics but im not picturing a disney situation with talking animals and handwaved politics, im picturing something where decorum, like, matters or whatever

and also i want someone to sort out how they get married despite their marriage not being able to result in heirs, and their positions as dual-regents of two different kingdoms making 1) their union prosperous-yet-messy, and 2) heirs rather very important.

(they both have ladies on the side specifically for???? the purpose of having children??? maybe???? idk how the merging kingdoms thing works then*. it'd be cleaner if one of them could get pregnant, but im not in this for cleanliness dammit!)

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

yeah same, i follow some fic accs that occaisionally post smut and its like mmmmm is the fluff writing enough to balance the posts that gives me finger burn trying to scroll past it? but yeah thats probably the way to go

ah i wasnt there for the teaser but i can imagine that was tantalising. lmaoo yes but to be fair i do have a writing acc called channiesbigheart so... balancing it out? but i absolutely am whipped beyond belief. it was a TRAVESTY how COULD they have. yeah the b sides gave him more lines but they werent the ones that were performed over and over at stages. yessss the line distribution in this album is impeccable, im pretty sure the thunderous stuff was some of their best distribution

hehe i can understand that, sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know? mmmm the differences are a bit nuts, it was 14 degrees today and in less than a week its going to be 32 or smth. BROOO that would be legendary, i bet theyd treat their artists rlly well and have great music as well ahhh but its a lot of work adn commitment. yES that is a mood if ever i heard one.

its the same in australia as well, sadly, you have people who hold up harry styles and lil nas x for breaking gender roles and wearing make up adn steryotypical womens clothing (and keep in mind i have infinite respect for both of them theyre honestly doing so much for the de-dehumanising of gay people and those who wear whatever they want), and calling the kpop boys gay and other things for doing the same thing, when theyve been doing it for years and gotten no recognition smh its so tragic. yes, anyway YES ONLY 6 MONTHS I AM FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES A BBY STAN altho i considered myself a fully fledged stay like 2 days after i got into them cos i just spent all day researching and fixating. YES someone said it. it feels like theyre losing a huge chunk of why a lot of people liked their music in teh first place, which was that whole dna, dope, fire mood. and even doing bright songs is fine, liek they should do what they want but i feel liek the western music industry is so fucking toxic that they feel pressured into making these decisions. dont get me wrong, theyre good decisions from a business perspective, theyre getting record breaking sales but still. mmm yeah honestly yg just needs to get its shit together or get out

oooh! not into nct but i see a lot of him, he seems rlly talented. ahh yes another channie ult lmaoo i feel that, my list is growing in leaps and bounds as well. mmm yeah i think i will, im just going to try to save enough money :) mingi appealed to me mostly for the voice (like felix smh what is it with me and deep voiced bois) but also his soft visuals and the whole cutesy thing he has going on i rlly liked. yes i did get into them while he was on hiatus, but im still mostly a casual stan, ill listen to the album when it comes out but i dont think ill obsessively look over everything to do with it, like skz. HAH WE'RE MORE SIMILAR THAN I THOUGHT. lmaooo the thot line describes them perfectly, why are they all so damn attractive. especially seonghwa, like that man looks like a character from a book, cardan greenbriar vibes anyone? mmhmm! his vocals are absolutely insane. ty! yeah im excited altho idk how theyre every going to beat border:carnival, that shit was impeccable. ahh no stress, enjoy teh groups you stan atm!

ahh thank you so much, ill keep that in mind. hehe thats good! hopefully its soon :( ah ty, it means a lot. ill think abt that and hopefully talk abt it a little more :)

ah, no it was inside our gymnasium but to get to the other side of the stage you had to exit the building, go around the back and then enter through the other stage door. ah tysm! im glad too. mmm same, they baffle me. ;n; noo so sad :( ahh, thats um not smth i put on here, but im in high school so make of that what you will :)

thank you! ive done a majority of them, i just have maths, an english presentation and an economic assignment due now so im pretty much home free. yeah i feel like hes the epitome of here for you while being inescapably far away. haha she sounds like one of my friends. lmaooo why is that me. hmmm i feel like youve answered a lot of them in that answer so maybe just ateez, enha, txt and bp? if you stan them? :)

ahhh no problem at all, proud of you for managing to overcome the procrastination! progress! mmm thats good! ahh pls do let me know if you ever decide that, i cant promise i wont cry but do what you gotta do :)

<3 w.a. 🐺

hi! sorry for the late reply, i didn't know how to construct sentences yesterday e.e

yeah sometimes it's the perfect balance! i personally don't like fics that focus mainly on the filth? the plot has to carry the whole fic somehow and the smut is just something to add to the mix. also, i'll follow you on your writing blog! i keep forgetting to do so, damn it.

"sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know?" putting it this way just silenced me but yes. angst just feels more realistic. it isn't always happy endings irl so i tend to do it a lot.

falling into skz is so easy! it felt like that for me too. stanning them felt like getting sucked into a blackhole. also yes i agree. kpop is nothing but an industry after all and it runs on money so i get why they do what they do as well.

i suggest we not talk about haechan because i will literally not shut up but yes my boy is an ace :( chan is also sooooo easy to love. and the chan's rooms just solidified his place as ult. having something to look forward to every week at a time when my mental health was just plummeting into the depths of tartarus just helped me be stable. oh yeah, mingi's deep voice is indeed sexc. and he has some wack ass duality as well! and i think seonghwa was one of the people i nearly considered as bias just because of his visuals because wow that's one beautiful face. and true, idk how enha's going to beat border:carnival. i don't like all the tracks simply bc of taste preferenceds but i like more than one so i consider that a lot already.

bro that gym should've had some sort of a covered walk :// also i miss being in high school sO DAMN MUCH. but i still feel like i am because time stopped when quarantine started and i was still in senior year at the time.

my ateez bias is wooyoung! it wasn't that much of a shocker to my kpop stan irls because i was a jimin stan for the longest time. enhypen is jake and they kept pointing out that he looked like seungmin sometimes so it's like chan's aussie-ness with a tinge of seungmin (the other guy in my skz bias line, in case i haven't mentioned it). txt is huening kai! i find it hard to believe that he's my age because he looks a lot younger? o.O and he always looks good damn :(( sigh for blackpink it's lisa! i tend to bias the maknaes of yg groups, it's a pattern i've noticed but don't intentionally do!

DON'T WASTE YOUR TEARS OMFG. you can always reach me elsewhere if i like disappear off this blog.

[buginateacup]

Alright fandom we’re twelve fics in now its time I got some thoughts in order. Specifically the thoughts of Damsel as Sacrifice

I want to talk to you about the idea of a damsel as the Acceptable Collateral Damage.

Something my brain keeps throwing at me again and again is the question of why there has to be a damsel and why they have to be regulated and why any hero/villain who may not even be interested in the damsel themselves still agrees to keep one in the picture. To take on the role of damsel basically means you are signing a waiver for the next three years of your life that you might die and there is nothing you can do about it. 

To kidnap a random bystander is dangerous, its like sending someone with no training in to fight a fire. They don’t know what they’re doing and they’ll make it a danger for everyone else.That’s why there are things like orientation and why cities want to use Official Endorsed Damsels who know what they’re getting into. 

If you live in a world where every major city has some form of superhero/villain rivalry that can run the gamut from streetfighting to giant lasers, you could threaten anybody. You could threaten half the world and then what? Half the point of the battle is showmanship and the higher you reach as a supervillain the more your role becomes that of a solo apex predator. our space, your rules and here’s the thing. Villains are active, heroes are reactive. A villain run city is capable of being a safer place to live than a city purely run by heroes. But a villain must stay active. They cant reach ten years in charge and go “Nah, I’m good, you lot take care now” someone new will try to take them down and for a villain to become reactive means they are no longer in charge. Then the city has to go through the whole rigmarole of building itself back up again. This is also why villains tend to die young as well.

When it comes down to it. The damsel is there for the really really bad times. The absolute worst of the failsafe’s failed or the badguy finally really loses it because if there is no way to win then its the damsel and not the rest of the world that loses. 

If you cannot save both then you let the damsel die. This is drilled into every heroes head time and again. It doesn’t matter if they’re the love of your life, if the choice comes down to the school full of children or the woman tied to the bomb then there is no choice.

You save the city. Every time you save the city. 

There is no damsel, official or otherwise anywhere, anytime, who knows if the clock really does run out that they are not leaving in anything other than a bodybag.

That’s also why so many of them finish after only three years, its a short brutal time of being constantly on call that wrecks your social life, your family life (and is why marrying the hero is an automatic out) and if you are lucky. If you get out without permanent injury and spend many years on the talk show circuit promoting your book so you can earn enough money from probably not having a real job for three years and retire somewhere you know you wont get kidnapped every couple of weeks and try to learn how to wake up without screaming.  

That’s why Roxanne hates the mentoring part in TWT-verse. As the villain/hero thing becomes more commercialised these new kids are getting into it for the benefits. Roxanne made the choice going in (maybe not the wisest choice, but a choice nonetheless) that she was going to drag her career upwards by doing the equivalent of reporting from an active warzone. She knows Megamind, she might trust him in a weirdly roundabout kind of way but he’s still the villain.

Megamind does not want Roxanne hurt, but that does not mean she is not at risk.

So under the cut for example, is a snip from one of my fics that takes place a significant amount of time from where its up to currently that leads on to a kind of reminder that this game has stakes and the stakes are the damsel.

IDK, just needed to get some thoughts out I guess...

"You are supposed to save her!" Megamind hissed.

"There were three schoolbuses!" Metro Man snapped, "She's the damsel! She knows the risks!"

"Damsel does not mean sacrifice!"

"Yes it does." Roxanne said quietly, interrupting the argument. "Megamind let me up properly right now I need a goddamn hug."

Megamind didn't even bother untying her, he just slipped a knife out of somewhere and slashed through the ropes around her waist and feet. Roxanne stood up, slapped ineffectually at the coating of dust on her skin and threw her arms around his shoulders, uncaring of the spikes. 

Megamind clutched her tightly, "I am so glad," he breathed, "That you are the worst damsel in existence and I had to spend the last seven years building every fail-safe into that chair I could."

"Me too," Roxanne mumbled. She turned her head and flinched.

"Careful," Megamind guided her back and pressed his forehead to hers, cupping her face in his hands "Spiky bits"

"I know." Roxanne leaned against him and focused on slowing her frantic heartbeat.

Metro Man slumped to the ground beside them, "I'm sorry Roxie," he said into his hands, "I was pretty sure you'd be safe. I-" he looked anguished, "They were kids!"

Roxanne sighed and stepped back, "I know, you made the right decision," she turned and leaned down to hug the superhero as well, wrapping her arms around his neck and patting his head, "We're all okay". Metro Man made a pained noise and nodded.

[beakybirdsong]

Sigh okay it's Pokemon News Drop Day so I'm gonna make a quick appearance for initial thoughts. But uhhh they're not great lmao

So if you don't like debbie downers probably don't read this lol

Because I got a bit...edgy

But like...I actually *hate* that we're getting 3 different games and none of them look remotely...good, all for different reasons.

The D/P remakes, from what we've seen so far, just don't excite me in any way. My opinion could change going forward but for right now it looks like it might as well be a remastered port, which is...not really what I've come to expect from Pokemon remakes, even as someone who's generally become a huge pessimist over the years lmao. HGSS added Pokemon following, the Pokathalon, a customizable Safari Zone, team photos, polished bits of existing storyline (like awakening the legendaries or disguising yourself as a rocket), and I think even the Battle Frontier iirc. We got much less in ORAS, but the story was admittedly still polished up good from what it was, including a little post game romp where we could catch Deoxys, the DexNav, which was super fun to play around with, and additionally Mirage Islands, a bunch of minimaps in the region that changed every day, which you essentially could collect from others by playing online or using Streetpass and accessing BuzzNav. It was also the first game to let us really hunt a hoard of legendaries, some of which were hidden in really cool updated areas (lookin at you Sea Mauville).

My point of all this I guess is that if you're going to give us a trailer for DP remakes can you not make it look like...samey and bland lol?? I'm not saying there WONT be any new content, but I am saying that if there isn't then it just...is not gonna be worth the money that a Switch game costs. Especially after Swsh left such a bad taste in my mouth. Like H O N E S T L Y I'd probably be being a lot nicer right now if Swsh was like...a good game lmao but that shit still has bugs and even after two full DLC drops there's nothing to DO (outside of being a crazy person like me and hunting shiny legends in Dynamax Adventures).

NOT TO MENTION HOLY SHIT, the longer time goes on the less forgivable it gets that these characters are sooooo fucking static!!!! The whole *thud* thing worked fine back in the DS era because it was....yknow, the DS era, but it just looks so stupid over a decade later. You can't add any more movement than that?? Barry's static pose in battle is also just completely devoid of personality. I'd honestly be fine with the chibi style if they did something interesting with it. Which is my point ig. Please please pleeeaaassseeee do something interesting with these remakes. Give me a reason not to just play on an emulator, or hell. Dig out an old copy and play on the 3DS, which still supports DS games lmao.

Okay phew ANYWAY.

Idk if it's because I'm coming down off of that hot mess but Pokemon Legends is actually...kind of interesting in concept. Like it takes place in the past, neat. And it's """"open-world,"""" okay neat. And the starter options are remixed, neat (I have a lot of thoughts on that actually and they aren't bad but this isn't the time or place). And they clearly told the tree-renderers to get their fucking act together, but like...that's a good segue into the problem I'm having with it which is that it still just looks empty. And boring?? And I think what I'm getting hung up on is that part of my brain is like ooh cool but there's a much bigger part of my brain that's like "OK but WHY"

It's just so frustrating as a longtime Pokemon fan to look at these two games which are both set in Sinnoh and only seeing wasted potential. Why aren't we getting one really good Sinnoh game that could happen with a little more time and less spread-thin resources? One looks bad because it's static and underwhelming port of an otherwise big beautiful labyrinthine region and the other looks bad because it looks good in places but is otherwise is an empty looking world in the way that the Wild Area was. We could have all the good stuff in one package but why would they do that when they can double up on profits by shipping out two mediocre games?

Speaking of, the nastiest taste in my mouth by far was the fact that we're getting three new games at all. Other parts of first-party Nintendo are making a point to ask for understanding and delay releases because of the pandemic and it seems like Pokemon just isn't letting up. What kind of conditions and crunch are these developers working under while also dealing with the handicap of doing it all remotely?? Do they get to sleep and eat like Jesus fucking Christ. I know there's a studio name I don't recognize helping with the DP remakes but STILL. It's not worth it! It's not worth it! Make a better game later!!! Stop beating your own franchise and the people who make it half to death!! Getting even one new mainline Pokemon game a year is unrealistic and unsustainable and it needs to stop fucking yesterday!! Hell, I would cry tears of joy if we went a year with no new Pokemon news at all! That's how ugly this feels.

In an attempt not to end on a sour note I guess, Snap looks good enough to get. I'm curious to see how many courses there are, but the characters look endearing enough, and by nature of being an on-rails game the world feels alive because it's not an unrealistic ask to make it feel that way (they did it just fine on the N64, even with the technical limitations of the time). I would much prefer mainline Pokemon games veer away from this "open-world" direction they're going in and just focus on making their little segmented areas tighter and more immersive in terms of aesthetic and exploration and maybe like one or two static encounter mons with a bit of personality. But I'm getting carried back into the Mainline Game Bad Thoughts Zone and I don't wanna be there. So. Idk check out that Venusaur doing a cannonball! Instant serotonin. Hoping there will be some fun pokemon interactions you can apple into happening like Surfing Pikachu or the Jigglypuff concert. Snap looks fun. I like fun. This is fun. This is fine!!!!!!!

[yeetussfetus]

this is suppsoed to be for fun. to anyone who remembers, i proposed an idea for the CHEG to be a mysteriuos group that almost no one knew anything about it. well i will be explaning more in this one. 

the story itself will be about a random ISB agent name Arus Dara whos a guy who needs some money and decided to use hiss knoledge for the Empire. in these first three logs, he will explain that his logs will be for himself, which will explain why he cusses in some parts. more info about him at the bottom.

words:1361

warnings: cussing, alcohol mention (idk if i made it obvious when its mentioned but just in case)

ENTRY LOG 1

This is an entry log by agent Arus Dara of the ISB, Empire. This is a personal log that is about my next mission, or, at least I hoped it would be my next mission, about the infamous group known as CHEG in the Empire. A little backstory on this particular group is that… well, almost nothing is known about them, besides the fact that it's so secretive and high up in the Empire that even the Emperor was a bit confused when he heard the name pop up, although that could be because he's hiding the fact that he's in it.

That doesn’t matter, though. The group in of itself hasn’t caused any issues for a while now, and that's probably the only reason why they haven’t tried to figure out who was in it. However, my boss, who is, by all means, the biggest bitch I’ve had to work with in the Empire so far, has requested that I look into the group. When I asked why, she didn’t specify, but she did tell me that I would get a promotion, which is extremely rare for someone like me, this young in their career. 

Not only are the benefits great for the position she offered me, but I would only have to work for a couple more years before I could retire with that much money. It would be a great chance to get money for my mother. So, I did what any rational person would do, and I accepted.

Unfortunately the details were a lot more complicated than I thought. For starters, she's not the one who wanted me to find out about the group. It was someone way higher up. I was able to tell from the fact that, while their face was blurred along with their voice, they looked to be on a Star Destroyer. And a fancy office. 

Well, the office itself wasn’t fancy, it was almost barren, but from the looks of it, the guy could afford whatever he wanted. He filled me in on what I was going to need to do: Figure out who's in the group, and report to him about my findings. Sounds about easy enough. And then it wasn’t.

There is a reason why almost nothing is known about the info on this group, and that’s probably because they are so good at hiding whatever dirty things they do. The only things I have is the name and possible candidates, all of them being high ranking officers. 

I might have to request something to help me from my new… “boss”, if you want to call it that. For now, however, this will have to be it. Arus Dara, out.

ENTRY LOG 2

Well, that went better than expected. For the past few days I’ve been trying to find out who might be in the group, and it's been… terrible. Terrible trying to find out how to do this. Terrible trying to figure out how to even find these guys. It's unbelievable, I seriously don’t know how these guys even hide this much, social groups who the Emperor is in have more info then this. Is there someone who has a bigger role in the Empire then the fucking Emperor?

It’s just been… a few stressful past days. However, I think I have the solution. The other day, I got the balls to ask my “boss” to get an employee log. Surprisingly, he didn’t know what that was. I had to explain to him that it was just a system that said when a staff of the Empire got into work and when they left. It was mandatory for everyone, except a select few, and if he didn’t know about it, he must be really high up in the Empire. And extremely oblivious to what normal people have to do. 

I really hope I’m not giving this info to someone who's a spoiled brat. I could never live with myself if that happened.

That doesn't matter right now. Basically I had to ask him to give one to me of people close to and the people themselves of that list I had talked about earlier. From the past 3 months, since that was after people tried to figure out who they were. I haven’t found much so far, but I’ll look through the list again.

…

So far I've got one person that I’m pretty sure is part of the CHEG, and his name is Agent Kallus. His entry's logs are all over the place, and considering what he does in his free time is never present, he's probably part of the group. One minute he’ll be out the door, the next hour he’ll do the same. I’ll have to visit his ISD soon.

Well, that’s out of the question, his ISD is the Chimera. Also known as the ISD where Grand Admiral Thrawn resides. Grand Admiral- either his reputation is messed up, or he doesn’t know how stupid his employees are. Doesn’t matter. What matters is that I got my info, and it's time to take a visit to the ISD Chimera.

ENTRY LOG 3

Nobody ever told me that the ISD Chimera, a ship that has one of the scariest Admirals to date, would be so… batshit insane. For starters, a captain or commander there, whose name is _____ _____ is just- how has she not gotten fired? I’m not sure myself, but from what I witnessed, she must have Admirals luck on her back because I’ve never seen someone act like that. She wasn’t rude, she wasn’t cocky (well, maybe a little), but she was… bold. She did what she wanted without a care in the world.

When I asked about her to the other crew members, they told me, “Oh, that’s just _____, she's always like that.” I have no idea how a woman could have this rank in a ISD and also be this chaotic. Not only that, but she's as old as me, and that means that she probably has connections- somewhere.

Another person of interest is a (again, forgot if he was a captain or commander) guy named Eli Vanto. He's not insane like his counterpart, but he's… strange. I saw him get his coffee from the coffee machine, down it, before making another cup. He had a water bottle with him the second day I was here, and it didn’t smell like coffee. Sometimes I’m glad that I’m not part of an ISD crew. 

And then, finally, Grand Admiral Thrawn himself. I only met him once, and that was a long lasting impression. He was speaking with another captain of a nearby ISD, and that captain was… I think Captain Ilian if I remember correctly. Anyway, he was way more cocky then ____, and he was saying something about moving ships to Coruscant without any explanation, and Grand Admiral Thrawn listened, but never spoke. When he asked if he was still there, he simply said, “Indeed. Continue.” He didn’t even falter. 

The captain eventually just dropped the whole thing. I never expected an alien from the unknown regions to be this far up the chain, but I’m starting to see what got him here.

And then Agent Kallus. Agent Kallus isn’t even going to be here for a while apparently, he's somewhere on Coruscant with another ISB member. Colonel Yularen, which is also surprising. I’ve heard of Yularen before, and he’s not someone to be messed with if I remember correctly. 

Oh, one more thing. When I told my “boss” (who has now asked to go by boss), he stood in silence and then asked if I was serious. When i presented my evidence, he started to believe me and told me to hold my position and wait for him to return, and then figure out where he was going. He was so serious. I mean, what is so special about this group? It’s almost like Vader's obsession with killing jedi. That captain or commander _____ was making that joke, by the way.

So, I guess that will have to be all. Goodbye.

------

ok so Arus Dara is the son of a clone deserter who deserted early, like right after the geonosis incident. if you ask him he wont tell you why or how, simply stating that he doesn't like to talk about his father, which is understandable since he had to watch him die in front of him. his mother, a togruta, had to take care of him for the rest of his time with her. the reason why he needs money is because she has a disease that, while treatable, is extremely expensive. so he has to deal with that as well.

anyways the story is set more in the way of he speaks, and then what his datapad picks up will be put down so he can read them. its like a journal for himself. thats all for now, so ye. bye.

tagging: @danger-xylophones 

[dameferre]

Happy new year!!!!! WtWT is increadible, do you have any favorite passages from it?

a) thank you i love you

b) ooh what a wonderful question lemme do a quick skim to remind myself what tf i wrote

okay one of them is from the epilogue but as that would be a ~spoiler~ i wont post it so here we go sorry this might get long i wrote wtwt for me specifically and thus love a lot about it

edit: even with tiny text this is fucking long as shit so it’s going beneath a read more

Fire Lord Zuko looks up slowly. “Excuse me?” His tone is even, but his voice is dangerously low, and his gaze as sharp and cold as the steel of his daos.

i just like this specific bit bc of the implied difference between Zuko and Fire Lord Zuko, supreme ruler of the fire nation, whose wrath has been invoked by someone talking shit about the love of his life

When Yue laughed it was soft and musical, like hearing gentle notes played on a bone flute; Zuko’s laugh, on the other hand, is coarse but steady, like a saw driving through the ice. There’s beauty in both. They both remind Sokka of home.

idk i just really like this one

 “Well, if it isn’t the Fire Lord’s Water Tribe lapdog,” a voice says, “Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him off his leash before.”

.... Sokka smirks. "Well, the leash didn't really go with this outfit, so."

i could live for Years off my personal mental image of 20yo sokka, the hottest guy in four nations, being goaded by some definitely homophobic, machismo asshole in the street and not even batting a fucking EYE just going ‘the leash didn’t really go with this outfit, so’. i mean. king shit.

 The glass case beside Zuko’s work table houses Mai’s first collection of knives (she’s since fashioned new ones), a fan from Suki, a traditional whale-bone Water Tribe hair pin from Katara, coins with the flying boar Beifong crest on them (relics from before the Earth Kingdom currency was centralised, and Sokka knows- they didn’t come cheap), a skirt of bells from Ty Lee’s old circus costume, one of Sokka’s first attempts at forging a new boomerang (it took him a long time to get the balance right), the mask Zuko’s mother made for Azula when she and Zuko were children and wanted to re-enact their favourite plays, and, in the middle of it all, the charred remains of Aang’s first staff, bought from an antique trader who found it, years ago, on the side of a volcano.

 Zuko likes to say he keeps pieces of his friends near his workspace, where he can see them; a reminder of his duty to all four nations, instead of just the one. But Sokka thinks it’s more simple than that; after everything that’s happened, the Fire Lord likes to keep his family close.

this was one of the first things i wrote for wtwt and i still love it a lot. this whole part of the chapter (the space sword bit) in fact is one of my favourites for the entire fic

“Oh.” Zuko shrugs. “Okay, so the day Aang and I set that barn on fire.”

zuko baby you set your living quarters on fire and all you remember is that strands of sokka’s hair kept falling into his eyes you useless, useless boy

 “Not the festival.” Zuko asserts. “The Fire Nation.” He says it simply, obviously blissfully unaware of how, to a pathetic, delusional person, that could be misconstrued as a declaration of love. Sokka’s stupid heart starts banging pots around in his chest, making itself known. “My life here- my life, in general, is just. Weak tea. Without you.”

maybe tea metaphors can be our always

Zuko looks up, so Sokka can see him roll his eyes. “One time, it was one-”

“What was it again? I mentioned I was craving some moon cakes, and you-”

“I was trying to impr-”

“You decided to break into a bakery, through the fucking skylight-”

“Are you ever gonna let-”

“‘It’s fine, Sokka. I’ll be in and out, and I’ll leave money, so it's not really a crime'.” Sokka says, in an admittedly weak imitation of Zuko’s voice. Zuko, for his part, looks way too amused for someone Sokka’s attempting to shame. “How much money, did you end up leaving? After you fell through the skylight?”

Zuko’s obviously trying to suppress a laugh. “Way too much, apparently.”

“Because you have no idea how much it costs to fix a window, because a few months working customer service were nowhere near enough to cure you of your ridiculous rich kid tendencies.”

look me in the eye and tell me fire lord ‘committed vigilante crime and robbed random citizens to buy his uncle a new teapot’ zuko wouldn’t break into a shop to get his crush mooncakes and then leave a Ridiculous amount of money behind when he drunkenly falls through a skylight. you can’t.

i’ve already talked about how i loved writing the ima and shiori interlude so i won’t bother repeating myself but

“I’ve known I was in love with you since the fourth day after the cherry blossoms bloomed, last year? I told you!”

“Fuck off, you absolutely did not-”

“You told me that, Zuko.” Shouts Katara’s voice from somewhere behind them, Sokka doesn’t look to find out where, exactly. “Right after you used twenty words to describe Sokka’s smile.”

Zuko pales, opening and closing his mouth like an elephant koi. “But- you-” He stares at Sokka, obviously trying to process this information. “I?”

After a second, Zuko blinks, as if shaking himself out of a trance. The shock and confusion on his face shifts into full-blown panic. “Wait, do you not know I have feelings for you?” He startles, takes a single step back. “Do you have feelings for me?!”

i know i literally wrote this but it cracks me up every time. no notes.

aaand basically any part of the fic wherein i got to live out my post-colonial reparation dreams of dismantling imperialist fascist structures or talk about how much sokka and zuko (or sokka and katara) love each other. fuck me up w healthy relationships and sibling dynamics tbh

[404fmdhaon]

aesthetic & headcanon — re[gone] analysis of each song

summary: re[gone] is the title of haon’s first full-length album. each song becomes something personal that dives into gyujeong’s own versions of freud’s theory. id becomes the ‘i’m so sad, boohoo.’ sad boy hours. ego becomes ‘life’s whatever’. and superego becomes ‘hahaha im on top of the world, fuck you all.’ rebellion, sadness — he calls it a mix of what the past decade’s been. elaboration on the songs below. (yes i know that’s not correct freudian psychology, but im saying it’s how gyu separates the songs into threes). warnings: none wc: 1569

middle fingers up

middle fingers up is the opener of the album and falls into the big ‘fuck you against the world’ type deal. it’s almost cheery in nature if you just listen to the beat, but the lyrics dig a lot deeper into how gyu feels as an idol.

he doesn’t have many friends to begin with, but that doesn’t stop people from approaching him and wanting to be “friends” which he just sees as a business transaction. because for the most part, he’s kept to himself. yet, doesn’t see why that would make people want to be his friend aside from the ‘he’s in knight’ factor

so it’s his fuck you song where he tells people to shove it. eat it. because in the end, what he’s left with is that ‘i don’t need you’ attitude. i’d see it more as a defense mechanism because he just doesn’t want to let people in? so he puts on this fake bravado of i don’t need you.

artist

artist is what he calls the thing between ‘i’m on top of the world’ and ‘life’s whatever.’ this song was written with his friend, and mentioned before in past headcanons it was meant to give his npc friend more clout so that his friend could make a living from music

it’s a fun song, a very serious juxtaposition of very different sounds. as a result, at first listen it’s not that good to the ears when you hear it without the lyrics / vocals.

this was the song that was finished the fastest in the span of one night? and after performing it many times on shows, it’s just not his favorite to perform. the styling was not his forte either as bc put this weird outfit that just seemed to not fit with what he envisioned

but he will say, the royalties his friends are getting makes him proud.

omen

omen is another ‘fuck you’ song to the world. it’s meant to be a response to everyone in the underground community who has looked down upon him for being an idol rapper

it’s saying that they’re the ones complaining about him, yet the ones that are trying to be like him. this goes in his top three from this album, and one he begged bc to let him release because at first bc was like ‘idk.. it kinda doesn’t sound as bc as we want.’

however, the result of this song made the underground rappers he was targeting release a diss track? and though he wants to respond to it, it seems unlikely seeing as how he’s still an idol

this one does not get accepted well by knight’s fan base but does drive attention from the underground children

phone ft. jiah

originally, gyu didn’t have anyone in mind for the feature. just knew he wanted a feature, so when the song was given to bc to analyze — they decided to push the “bc family image” between him and jiah (natural blonde line holla). as a result, jiah became the feature 

though gyu wouldn’t admit, the song does become better because of jiah’s vocals.

it’s a story written in the lyrics, autobiography? not really, well kind of. there’s bits and traces of his own life inside the song where discussions about a fight / lapse of communication of the girl picking fights because she hasn’t figured herself out

that frustration? he’s felt it many times in the past with his first love, and that in turn made this song — though, he no longer harbors those frustrated feelings towards her anymore. he just misses her.

let’s not love anymore

this is a more singing rap song, as he wanted to involve as many genres as he could in one album. mainly because it was a hail mary, and he didn’t know when his next opportunity would be? 

the singing rap fit this song well enough, and it becomes a song where he highlights the hopeless romantic in him? he fell for someone who used to be a close friend, and the song was written during the “some” phase, where they were in limbo to the point they didn’t know what they were or a will-they or wont-they dynamic

explains the concept of ‘why we should not be in love’. and mini-memoirs of things he’d do while he was falling into place. though the person and him ended up badly to the point where they don’t talk anymore, gyu still enjoys the song because it teaches him to 1) never act upon feelings and 2) stop writing sad love songs.

take care of you

i’m going to keep this short and simple that this song is the most personal one on his album. the song he loves the most, yet hurts the most to sing. as a result, he doesn’t want to touch it but instead it was released for the person whom it was written about to hear.

the mv was low budget via bc. (gyu doesn’t care. just wants her to hear it).

beautiful

beautiful is another on the sad love song train list, only it’s not so sad. in retrospect, he finds it sad? because he was a lovelorn schmuck when he wrote it — that feeling of love he hasn’t experienced again. and that in turn causes him to cling on?

the piano use is frequent in a majority of the songs but i think it’s most prevalent in this track mainly because it dealt with parts of his past where the person whom it was written about knew about his family ties and he ties starting music to her. 

fun fact: this is the song that suddenly makes fans all ‘look at how romantic haon is.’ and leads to some speculation as to who the girl is (newsflash: it’s not an idol — but his fans don’t know that)

aslyum

very similar to omen — it has a nice singing portion to the chorus which gyujeong wanted to keep for fluidity of the songs. 

however, despite the easy listening it becomes a song more towards omen and the ‘fuck you all’. only this time it’s a response to when people in the underground community ask if it’s nice living life at the top

idol life isn’t all what it is, and hence how the song came about. wanted to express that life at top is lonely, and that people should not judge based on what’s flashed on tv. however, he doesn’t bet anyone got that since most fans skip over the song (for what he’s been told).

downtown baby

maybe it was all a dream? but this song was inspired by his one night stand in berlin. he basically never indulges in those but there was something enticing about the woman, reminded him of a girl from his past. 

she spurred a week long escapade? where he thought it was in love. but it started as quickly as it ended, and he lost contact with her altogether. in reality, he still debates whether it was a dream, vivid and full or whether it was real. wonders how she does time to time.

the charming point of the song is the easy singalong, and the addicting hook? which he didn’t intend on making that way, but it fell that way when he found himself singing the songs long after recording.

he’d give this song a personal 7/10. high-mid range on his album, but bc loves the outcome bc 1) it feeds into knight bad boy image and 2) it does well

meteor

once again this was done with an npc friend in the underground scene. gyujeong wanted something triumphant, and it’s embarrassing but he used to listen to one republic a lot as a kid in boarding school. fell upon their music, and that subconsciously inspired the general beat of the song

the song becomes his ode to how far he’s come, and how the difficulty of an uphill battle lead him here. it’s starts off showing off his material goods and throwing a huge party in the mv, but in the end what becomes is his declaration that he’s the meteor that will break the world

high self-esteem in this song, but it’s really not real. he just felt in that moment weightless because he was with good company, and the vibes were good

the best part about this song is that his friend saved up enough money to buy a car and start producing for other big names. and gyujeong gains secondhand satisfaction from that

superstar

meteor was the come up, superstar was the come down back to reality. superstar talks also about a lot of material goods — people always talk about the money knight makes and how nice it must be to live large, etc.

however, gyujeong combats these stereotypes talking about how it’s nice yeah — and he’s this bigshot doing all these things. yet, there’s a cry out for help. 

in retrospect, this is his cry for help where he wants someone. anyone to listen. because the more fame dwells upon him, the more pressures become heightened and he feels more isolated from the world around him

he acknowledges his position and his privilege but still finds life lonely — another song making him wonder if people got the actual meaning of the song.

this also makes his top three on his album.

[marvelgbt-posts]

Forever

{Peter Parker x Male Reader}

Warnings: none… angst…? slight self hate ig but idk you’ll see…

Summary: a peter parker x male reader where peter gets insecure about mj and readers friendship since he sees how good they look together and knew MJ had a slight crush on reader. Reader fixes the problem by cuddling him, giving him slight kisses on his neck and just some fluffy shit. also cute bby boy peter being all flushed and cute

I really hate giving MJ this role, but ok :/ and also, what do you us think about MJ and Peter in FFH? Personally, i dont like it. I’ll make it it’s own post, it’s mostly a personal preference though.

(not edited)

“OMG, [M/N]. You’re too funny,” MJ said, a slightly happier tone to her voice than usual. You smiled, taking the small smack to your arm with a soft laugh as well. Peter watched across the lunch table while Ned was too occupied with the game on his phone. He pouted; you seemed to be having way more fun with MJ than with him. Lunch was almost over- oh no, wait, that was the bell…

You stood up from your seat as Peter gathered his stuff. He waited for you to walk him to his next class, as you usually did so. MJ also stood up, looking at Peter, “Hey, loser,” Peter had found himself being called ‘loser’ a lot by MJ- probably more than he found himself being called that by Flash- but he knew she was joking, “Aren’t you and I together for History?” Peter nodded, “Oh yeah, I forgot,” he usually had Math right after Lunch, but today was Thursday. Thursday schedule was always weird for him. You began dragging yourself behind and in between them. Ned had already disappeared; his next class was all the way across the hall from where their classes were, so he had to hurry. You spoke up, “I have Biology next anyway. It’s right down the hall from there.”

“Neeerd!” MJ laughed, yelling into your ear. You tried to move away from the noise, a smile playing to your lips, “Oi, idiot, that hurt!” MJ smirked, “Good.” Peter fumed- he felt like he was the third wheel when it was supposed to be MJ. He was dating you, not her. Though, to be fair, not that many people knew. Just the two of you, Ned, Aunt May, Mr. Stark, Happy, and the rest of the Avengers. MJ didn’t, and Peter felt like he should tell her- if not for it being for the reason of ‘she should know because she’s my friend’, then at least for ‘omg stop touching him he’s my boyfriend’. And there she goes, touching you again. Though, this time she used her own shoulder to bump into yours instead.

Peter heard a small murmur, “Doesn’t MJ look really cute next to [M/N]?”

“Yeah, she’s definitely happier around him.”

“She smiled a lot when with him.”

“Their both into the arts; she likes reading and drawing, he likes music and (insert an artistic talent/interest).”

Soon, Peter began hearing things other than just small murmurs and chattering around him. It felt as if he could hear everything everyone was saying. Wasn’t that a side effect of his spider-like abilities? Perhaps it was, Peter couldn’t remember at the moment.

“Yeah, they’re practically made for each other.”

“They make a good couple.”

“Did you hear that MJ and [M/N] got a full score on their project for Art?”

“Oh yeah, they were parters, right?”

“Yeah, MJ made the layout of the sketch and [M/N] finished it up. He did his own thing as well, and they ended up getting their art submitted into the contest happening at the art museum.”

Then, Peter felt as if he couldn’t breathe.

“So cute.”

“Wow, they make a good couple.”

“Peter looks like such a third wheel.”

His own thoughts mixed with the other small talk around him, and it surrounded him in a pit of black.

“He looks like such a loser.”

“Wow, no one would be interested in him anyway.”

“No one likes a nerd.”

“Peter is a loser.”

“Peter is a nerd”

“Peter is lame.”

“No one likes Peter.”

“Peter-“

“Peter!” You shouted in his ear, and Peter jolted up. “O-Oh, yeah?”

“Isn’t this our class?” MJ asked, pointing to the door. Peter nodded sheepishly, looking over at you. You smiled, “Have fun learning about a bunch of dead guys. I’m off to math!” You pumped your fist up in mock excitement. MJ laughed and Peter gave a small chuckle, “H-Have fun.” You nodded, “Sure wont.”

***

3rd person P.o.V.

[M/N] met up with Ned, MJ, and Peter after school. “Hey guys!” He greeted, wrapping an arm around Peter’s shoulders. Peter resisted the urge to lay his head on the other male and just looked at him and smiled instead. [M/N] smiled back, but Peter felt like their was this other feeling in the other male’s eyes he couldn’t quite read. “Uh, hey,” [M/N] started, “Parker, you feeling up to a study session today?” Peter pretended to think, nodding soon after, “Sure, dont have any plans today anyway. Lemme text Aunt May, though, first.”

‘Study session’ was a code name for ‘miniature date at my house’. Peter had grown to love the words very much because then it was just them two, and it was normally [M/N] showering Peter in love and affection for the whole night- if he didn’t have Spidey-duty that day, that is. Peter pulled his phone out from his back pocket, pulling up Aunt May’s number. “Can I come too?” MJ asked, “Or is it just one of your gay things?” MJ huffed in amusement at her own joke, not realizing the irony of it. She tried sounding nonchalant about it, but not wanting to break her heart, [M/N] let her off easy, “Uhh, my house is really messy. I feel like Peter can handle it, but I dont wanna make you run off because you’re scared of my pigsty of a home.” He laughed. MJ chuckled, “Wow, gender equality, dude. Whatever happened to that?” [M/N] shook your head, “maybe next time. You don’t have anything and Peter usually spends the night, so it’d be weird, wouldn’t it?” MJ nodded, seemingly disappointed, “yeah, whatever. It’s cool.”

“Done!” Peter chirped, and MJ began walking off. Ned had also run off somewhere. “Good!” [M/N] smiled, “I have you all to myself for the rest of the evening!”

2nd person P.o.V.

Once the two of you made it home, Peter put his stuff down onto the floor in your room while you prepared some food. Since it was Thursday, you guys weren’t assigned that much homework, so you and Peter would probably finish it in the small intervals before classes. You prepared some snacks like popcorn and candy while Peter changed his clothes. He also took the time to pick out clothes for you- a loose white T-shirt with black basket ball shorts. He wore a white shirt- of course, a nerdy one with a scientific pun on it (the two atoms; one asking if the other is positive it lost a electron)- with one of your boxers. He walked out, socks protecting his feet from the cold floor. He scrunched his nose at the smell, smiling.

“You wanna pick out the movie?” Peter asked, wrapping his arms around your waist. You turned around, wrapping your arms around him as well. They made their way around both his arms, one hand holding the other to trap the smaller boy in an embrace. “No, you can pick,” you smiled, tilting your head to kiss Peters lips quickly, “so long as it isn’t Star Wars or Lord of the Rings again. Please. I can’t go through another marathon again.” Peter whined playfully, “But [M/N]!” You stuck your tongue out, “Too bad.”

Peter reciprocated the action, and you both let out a sigh of giggles. “Anyway,” you continued, “You want anything specific to eat?” Peter shook his head and you nodded. You let him go and he went over to the couch. He flipped though the many channels on the TV before settling on a Disney movie. “Is that Disney?” You asked, walking in with a bowl of popcorn, two sodas, and a plate of cookies. Peter watched in awe as you balanced everything. “Yeah,” he answered, “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.”

“Aw, sweet!” You fist-bumped the air, “love that movie.” Peter nodded, leaning to rest his head on your shoulder, he had been deprived of physical touch for a while. He just wanted to spend time with you, was what he thought as he wrapped his arms around you. Your arm wrapped around his waist while the other ate from the supported the bowl of popcorn on your lap. Peter stole some as well, and you watched as the movie began with its intro of the parents trying to save their defaced child from the protagonist.

“It’s kinda inappropriate, dont you think?” You asked Peter after a while, and Peter looked at you confused, eyes squinted Ashe seemingly judged you. “How? It’s a Disney movie?”

“Well, I mean, it talks about gypsies. Aren’t they visualized as prostitutes? And that seen where Esmeralda dances for that old dude, you can see he’s clearly turned on.” You shook your head, “never mind…”

When the movie was over, you cleaned up the remaining food and placed it down to be cleaned later. You carried a very, very tired Peter Parker up to your room. You laid him on the bed and dimmed the lights. He gripped onto you desperately, “Dont move, dont go anywhere…” he said, “Can we stay like this forever…?” He asked tiredly, and you laughed softly, “No, we have school tomorrow.” Peter whined childishly, “forget school. I can make us enough money by being Spider-Man, we dont need education.”

“Peter, my parents would kill me if they found out i dropped out of high school to piggy back on my superhero boyfriend for money.” Peter let out a huff, and the two of you let out quiet, breathy chuckles. He leaned close to you, noses touching. He then frowned, “Do you like MJ?” The question was sudden and it caught you off guard. “Well, i mean… yeah, we’re friends…”

“No, i mean… like like her…?”

You let out an ‘ohhh’, suddenly realizing Peter’s behavior earlier (the cause of your strange glint Peter noted earlier). “No, baby,” you smiled, “I’m not romantically interested in her, if that’s what you’re thinking.” “But,” he began, a slight pout on his lips. God, he was really tired, “she was all over you today, shamelessly flirting with you. You didn’t seem to mind it though…”

“Peter,” you began, stroking his hair a bit, “I dont like MJ. I like you. No, I love you. A lot. So dont think that.” You moved to lay Peter on top of you, taking his hands and intertwining them with yours as he made himself comfortable on your chest. “I know,” Peter started, playing with your fingers a bit, “its just… everybody says you two look good together. I guess i just didnt like the feeling of you with another person, even if it’s just the public appeal and not reality. Sorry…” You shook your head, “dont apologize, baby. It’s normal to feel jealous…”

Peter was quick to defend, lifting his head up to glare at you accusingly, “I wasn’t jealous!” You laughed, “yeah, and I’m not dating Spider-Man.” Peter sighed, resting in his previous position. He mumbled another, ‘I wasn’t jealous…’ and you just nodded. You began running your hands through his hair, to which he quickly responded by sighing and relaxing even further into your chest.

A few minutes of running your hands through his hair later, Peter got bored and slightly irritated of the position. He moved to sleep next to you, with you spooning him. You wrapped your arms around him and gently played it his stomach, felling up and down his abs. He whimpered lightly, curling a bit at the ticklish feeling. His body began to heat up; you could feel it. “Are you still upset?” You asked softly, and Peter nodded. You sighed, placing soft kisses to Peter’s neck. He leaned back, face flushed red as you continued up his neck to his jaw. He turned his head to face you, and gave you a soft kiss. You to didnt move, instead you stayed there and took in the presence of each other.

When you two pulled away, Peter had the brightest blush on his face. He huffed, eyes falling closed, “I wasn’t jealous.”

“Of course you weren’t,” you smiled, “who said you were?”

You turned off the light once Peter finally fell asleep. The two of you stayed like that for the rest of the night- and, to be honest, if you could, you would stay like that forever if you could.

Panicked gay moment; had no clue what to write for MJ, sry sry sry anon (._.”)

[self-excellence]

FIX YOUR SLEEPING SCHEDULE (1-2 months)

Try to wake up earlier every day. Like 5 - 10 min earlier than the day before. Until you wake up any time before 8am or so…

If you struggle with waking up & snooze button is your bff:

Put your alarm clock as far away from the bed as possible.

Drink a glass of water right after you wake up.

Pour another glass of water on yourself right after you wake up.

Prepare some coffee the night before (try the cold brew method), leave it by your bedside, drink it after you wake up. Alternatively, buy some caffeine pills and take one right after waking up with a big glass of water.

Have your blinds/curtains open the night before, so that it’s bright after you wake up.

Try to go to bed 5-10 min earlier than the night before.

Track how many hours of sleep you’re getting. Aim to get at least 7h per day or 49h per week. 

Increase your sleeping hours incrementally. Aim to get at least 1h of sleep more than the previous week. For example, if this week you slept for 41hrs, aim to get an extra hour of sleep next week, so it’s 42h. Once you get enough hours of sleep and wake up early-ish:

Try to keep your sleeping schedule consistent. It is really important to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. Even if it’s weekend. Or even if that means getting less than 7hrs of sleep that day. I’d say waking up at the same time everyday is the most important step, which will help you the most with fixing your sleeping schedule.

START EATING HEALTHY (1-2 months)

This step really depends from person to person, but firstly I suggest you take some blood tests to see if you have any deficiencies, etc. Especially, if you struggle with cravings.  

Try intermittent fasting, if you struggle with binge eating or overeating. As it will help you to learn to listen to your body better: when it’s hungry, when it’s full, etc. It’s really simple, there are many methods of Intermittent fasting, but I’d suggest 16/8 for the beginners. (Google it for more info)

DRINK ALL THE WATER. Again, if you’re not drinking enough water, try to level up your water game incrementally. Download some water tracking app on your phone to help you. Drinking water will make you more energetic, increase your metabolism, and decrease you appetite (among many more benefits). If you really struggle with meeting your water intake:

Reward yourself when you meet your daily/weekly goals.

Drink through the straw - idk why, but you are going to drink much more if you use a straw. Trust me.

Get a nice water bottle. 

Flavour your water with fruits etc.

Check this video for more tips

Track what you eating. I would really suggest tracking your meals for around a month. Because, most of the time people have no idea that what they’re eating is unhealthy. Again, download an app to your phone for that.

Make your own meals once in a while. Not only this will save you money, but it’ll help you to see what’s really going into your body. Start by doing that once a week and build it up depending how much time and energy you have.

Eat less meat and more veggies/fruits. Go to your local market and buy some veggies/fruits, you have never tried before. I’m sure you’ll find your new favs. Eat/buy less meat. Not only it’s good for the environment, but it is good for you, too. Get a veggie burger instead of the beef one, etc.

Cut dairy. Find your new favourite milk substitute. Advice: Oat milk is really good with the tea and oatmeal/porridge; hazelnut milk is amazing on it’s own; cashew milk goes well with cereals.

Learn more about nutrition in general. It will help you to make better food choices and it will make eating healthy much easier in general, because once you understand all the chemistry behind the food and what it does to your body, you kinda don’t want to make yourself feel worse. Here are some free resources: - Human nutrition course from Alison.com - Crash course Metabolism&Nutrition: Part 1 and Part 2 - The Health Nerd’s YouTube Playlist about nutrition - What I’ve Learnt YouTube Playlist - Human nutrition course from Alison.com - Crash course Metabolism&Nutrition: Part 1 and Part 2 - The Health Nerd’s YouTube Playlist about nutrition

GET PHYSICALLY FIT (2-6 months)

Define your goals. Do you want to lose weight, do you want to get stronger, gain weight, be able to climb the stairs without losing your breath, run 5k?

Remember - you’re half-way through. Being physically fit has a lot to do with what you put into your body. So, if you fulfilled the previous step of eating healthy - you are halfway through!

Make a plan. A Reasonable plan. Be honest with yourself. Alternatively, there are many already-made plans if you’re feeling lazy. Like, Couch to 5k for running,  Beginners 30-day exercise guide, 30 days of yoga, etc.

Start small. Like, 5 min exercise in the morning. Or doing 10 sit ups per day. Don’t do anything overwhelming, like running 5k everyday if you haven’t run for the past 5 years.

Make sure that you kinda like what you’re doing. If you absolutely hate running - don’t do it. Hate doing sit ups in the morning? Try some yoga instead.

Explore until you find what you like. You don’t have to go to gym to get fit, especially if you hate it. Find a type of exercise, which you actually like. Maybe it’s dancing or hiking, taking your dog for a walk. Sign up for several trial lessons of various sport clubs. Ditch ‘em if you have them until you find something that you love. Stick with that.

Do the small changes in your everyday life. Stairs>Escalator, Walk>Drive, Do some squats while brushing your teeth, switch from regular desk to standing desk, etc…  Find ways to incorporate being active into your everyday life

Track your effort instead of your progress. You cannot really control your progress that much (especially if your goal was to lose weight). However, you can always control your effort. So track it instead. This will leave you more motivated. As you will be able to see that you can do more and more everyday. Whereas, if you tracked your progress, you may not always get the result you hoped for, which might demotivate you and make you upset, wanting to quit.

BEAT DEPRESSION

Do the previous 3 steps and you’re halfway through as mental health depends a lot on the physical health.

See a therapist/doctor. Depression is an illness requiring medical treatment. So, get it. Remember:  there is absolutely no fucking shame in having a mental illness.

Get some extra support. Talk to your friends or family. Or maybe someone on the internet.

Write it out. If you don’t want to talk - write down your thoughts. It can be just as helpful. It’ll help you to understand yourself better, see problems in your thinking, etc. Buy a cheap notebook (or expensive one, up to you) and start a journal. Try being consistent by writing every morning or evening or both, but DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF if you miss some entries. Read through your past entries. Analyse them. Extract the lessons.

Distract yourself from yourself. Get someone/something to take care of, so that you can, for a moment, stop thinking about yourself. E.g, get a plant, or a dog, or a fish and focus on keeping them alive and well.

Self-care day. Dedicate at least one day per week for self-care. Take yourself out to a museum or some fancy cafe, do some stuff you like, whatever your hobbies are, do some physical self care: bath, face mask, manicure, etc., listen to some nice music, watch a film…..

STOP PROCRASTINATION

Celebrate your victories instead of mourning over your loses. So the only thing you’ve done today was write one sentence for your 20 page essay? Amazing! Buy yourself a candy for that!! I mean, you could’ve done nothing, but you didn’t - you wrote that one sentence and that’s worth celebrating.  Redefine the success - doing something is a hundred million times better than doing nothing.

Do it for only 2 minutes. If there’s an important thing you’ve been putting off for a while, tell yourself that you will only spend 2 minutes on doing it. If after 2 minutes you don’t want to do it anymore, great, stop it. However, after 2min. you actually might want to do more. No pressure either way.

Track your productivity. Track how much time you’ve been productive that day. Try to increase that time by a little bit every day.

Always forgive yourself. So, it’s been a week and you’ve done nothing? Don’t sweat it. Let it go. Blaming yourself will bring you absolutely nothing. Nothing good will come out of your negativity on yourself. So stop it. Forgive yourself and start again. And again, if you need to. Never stop trying. Always pick yourself after you fall. Beating procrastination and increasing your discipline is a skill. And all skills can be build on. There is nothing in you stopping you from changing. Remember that.

LEARN HOW TO DO TAXES (1h - 1 day)

Go to google.com.

Type in: “How to do taxes *the name of the country you’re living in*”

Read the results.

Alternatively, if you like socialising, ask some adults, whom you know, about it. Trust me, older people love teaching us youngsters. Learn all the lessons you can from them.

GET MENTALLY STRONG ENOUGH TO MAKE PHONE CALLS

Remember that just as with beating procrastination, making phone calls is a skill. And, again, skills can be learnt.

Get a new SIM card.

Top it up.

Dial some random numbers and pretend to be a salesman, selling whatever you like.. E.g., trying to sell broadband, cable tv, trying to get people to donate for some charity… Or whatever really… Me and some friends used to pretend we’re selling kittens or wood logs. Alternatively, you can pretend that you dialed a wrong person and talk about whatever, e.g. “Hey, Jess!! You wont believe what I saw today!! *start telling a made-up story*…”

If you get uncomfortable - just drop the call. No consequences whatsoever.

Repeat until you build up your game and your phone-call anxiety starts to diminish.

SLAY THOSE BITCHES Congratulations, now you’re ready to take over the world! Got get ‘em!!

(before reblogging, check the updated version of this post here)

[fredheads]

Tell me about Fred being friends with other parents as a kid...

i think the parents he hung out with as a kid would have been hal, alice and fp the most. so.... 

alice and fred were inseparable when they were little kids! they were fiercely loyal to each other and no matter how dumb alice thought freds problems were and vice versa they’d move mountains to stick up for one another or help each other fix a problem. they absolutely did a blood brother oath and cut their hands. alice was mostly too smart and cynical to be into that stuff but she took her friendship with fred really seriously so she did the pact and meant it. she had long long blonde hair and scuffy hand me down clothes and she was a fighter through and through. fred was skinny and freckly and cute and always in muddy jeans or short gym shorts and a tshirt. idk if alice had a bike but she rode on the back of freds if not.  their favourite thing to do together was them always doing dumb things that didn’t require money like climbing through the woods just picking up sticks and horsing around or playing sandlot baseball or climbing trees or pitching pennies or hiding in their “clubhouse” (probably just some random bush or log out in the woods) and maybe alice even showed him her secret hiding place thats up to you to say. but i can picture them crawling through various sewer pipes regardless. alice was considered one of the boys and she was always good to be the ninth for baseball or any sport. she felt a degree of protectiveness for fred cause she saw him as more sheltered than her.  sometimes if fred had extra money he’d treat alice to a movie downtown or a bottle of pop from the convenience store (which he really didnt have to do because she was a deft shoplifter but it meant a lot when he bought it) and while alice sometimes resented owing him one and slugged him on the arm if he was too nice to her she secretly really liked the days they spent at the movies or in town or doing something special and nice. it was never awkward between them they understood each other really well. 

hal was a good friend to have because he could always be counted to be thoughtful and practical. he could also get you out of trouble with grownups really easily because he had such a squeaky clean record himself. hal actually got things done. much like ben he knew how to build a dam and a clubhouse, he would actually do it methodically using knowledge from books (and school... he actually paid attention) rather than just throwing stuff around and making the most of what you could do (fred). he was already learning stuff about cars from his dad and he could handle tools and knew how to build a go cart properly. he was absolutely invaluable because of this knowledge and while fred would have been his friend anyway, hal always felt cheered by the knowledge that fred and the other kids liked having him around because of the things he was good at and he could genuinely help.  he was also a good friend for playing cards or reading comic books or doing quiet things. and his mom made amazing snacks when you went over to his house after school and he owned and knew how to play every board game under the sun. (tbh this is because he was lonely a lot of the time and had to play by himself or with the teacher at recess... i wont get into that.) but oddly enough hal seemed happier when he and fred got to go away and play outside or over at fred’s for awhile. he loved his mom and he was comfy at home but sometimes when he was free for a bit he looked older and looser and more confident. but fred never told him this. he had his own bike and while it took a lot of exertion to get it going he had the best balance and could pedal harder than anyone else and still keep an eye on the road as not to get taken out by a truck. so if they ever had to carry anything or anyone important they went on hals bike. 

fp as a kid is so interesting to think about. he was unfortunately already a really battered, cynical child and his table manners weren’t the best. with adults he was sulky and immature. with other kids he could be really standoffish and either mean and rude or withdrawn. but whenever he was around fred it was like something magic happened and he became a thousand times more animated. fred could draw out this comfortable side of him that no one else did where he would make jokes and initiate banter and games. he had a mischievous streak that came out. it was like suddenly he was wholeheartedly committed to the role of being freds sidekick and he was always trying to make fred laugh and smile. fred definitely saw him as more than a sidekick though, he considered fp his best friend and equal in the world in a really special way and looked up to him in turn. he would have given him half of his friendship necklace.  once he found out fred wasnt going anywhere, fp got more confident in the personality he had when he was with fred. he could still get aggressive, withdrawn, mean, etc but only with people he didnt know. once they clicked they were best friends and they were always the ones to make friendship pacts/oaths etc. his friendship with fp was the first time fred started thinking in terms of having a designated Best Friend. Alice was always his best friend before but they didnt say it.  fp was rarely bored doing things with fred, even if they were a lot more pointless and wholesome than the kind of play the trailer park kids did. fred had a way of making everything cool and important even if they were just kicking a can or playing a game of cards. they were bad at egging each other on, however, so they did get in trouble a lot... and they also didn’t have a lot of brain in their heads so they were always doing dangerous dumb things and paying for it. falling in the stream, falling off the roof, falling off their bikes, breaking windows, breaking bones, stealing things, setting off fireworks, etc etc... if fp had a bike it was some rusty trailer park thing and he was just as happy riding on the back of freds.