#its so interesting that sora has a bigger grasp on himself

[dominicsorel]

It's funny...Suddenly I feel like I don't know myself at all...I guess I would like to know. What do you know about me...that I don't?

[seventeenlovesthree]

so, apparently there's plenty of death symbolism/metaphors surrounding, are you interested in elaborating that? including "indirect" death like spiritual death, character assassination or death of identity, somethjng along those lines?

- death symbolism surrounding Taichi, sorry, somehow I pressed ask , sorry for my blunder

It's fine, no worries, I already assumed that it was referring to Taichi! If you think about it, several characters in Digimon Adventure have been dealing with the subject of "death" one way or another, most in direct association with someone (human or Digimon) close to them.

Now, if we look at our favourite main character, riddled with traumatic childhood experiences and questionable coping mechanisms, there is a bunch of instances where he had to deal with the potential of death happening in front of him or CAUSING death himself - either to others or himself -, so it should not be surprising that, at some point, he may have dissociated himself (mostly subconsciously, I'd say) from being a Chosen Child. Whiiiich may or may not have led to Kizuna's events, but yeah, it's count the instances first, shall we. TW: death, mental health.

The whole Hikarigaoka incident: While Hikari was scared too, she was still much younger than him and couldn't grasp the implications of what was happening there, while Taichi did EVERYTHING in his power to protect her and himself from not getting crushed by the two Kaijus in front of them.

Him almost causing Hikari to die due to his (still existing) sense of childlike innocence: Yes, she was sick, but he thought she was already on the way to recovery and only took her to play football to cheer her up. That's where he first had to face that good intentions don't always lead to positive outcomes...

The SkullGreymon fiasco: Again, he intended to do good for the sake of the group, but overlooked the bigger picture and became reckless, thus causing his partner to evolve into a literal symbol of death and decay in the process. Something that may have happened to the ENTIRE group if the Digimon hadn't run out of energy...

The electrical fence and its aftermath: This one has several follow-up points, but I still think it's suitable to summarize them all here - first of all, there is him being confronted with the idea of actually dying by getting electrocuted after he was 100% convinced that nothing they did mattered, since they were "just data in a computer". Once again, he was being reckless and careless - not only did it lead to almost killing himself, but in extension, also dooming Sora, whom he failed to save. Overcoming his cowardice, finding his own sense of courage eventually led to victory - but also led to him disappearing and roughly 50% of the remaining group ended up thinking that he had actually died in the process. Meanwhile, he was back in the real world and had to choose between saving only himself, or everyone else as well... And we all know how the answer to this turned out to be.

Him almost causing Hikari to die AGAIN: Of course there have been several instances of death before and after they re-entered the Digital World again, leading to the eventual "fallout" between Taichi and Yamato in regards to how they should deal with the immediate danger at hand... But the most devastating instance here was Taichi reliving his early childhood trauma, fearing that, by taking Hikari with them, he made the same mistakes again, acting thoughtlessly, not considering the circumstances... He has been acting self-sacrificial for the sake of the group before, but it's this arc that shows that he is actually ready to die if he can at least manage to save everyone else in the process (hence why he ended up fighting with Koushirou as well, because Taichi forbade him from taking on any pain himself and Koushirou was having none of it).

Let's not forget that, during the events of Our War Game - and all the follow-up movies, especially Diablomon Strikes Back -, he was also under immense pressure: To save the entirety of Tokyo from getting blown up by a missile and every other side-effect that Diablomon may have caused in traffic or elsewhere... And once again, his own hotheadedness may almost have caused his partner to get killed, to the sense of guilt plays a huge role in here as well...

02 portrays Taichi as matured, it showed that, while he still occasionally needs to get reminded of it, he KNEW that he has to make uncomfortable decisions sometimes; of course he almost despaired when his partner was being captured and corrupted, but he also realized that he may have had to sacrifice him for the greater good; he needed to remind Hikari that the new kids never had to deal with the same kind of death exposure before, but warned her - with quite a grim, but serious expression - that they would have to face it eventually. He grew aware of their duty throughout all this time, through all these experiences, and it's not pretty, but at this point, he was still ready to act.

Tri picks that point of the story back up again by mirroring Meiko's fate with his own - at least to some degree. Once more, they had to face the possibility of having to kill a beloved partner Digimon and at this point, Taichi was questioning whether or not recklessly sacrificing infrastructure and lives for the sake of fighting was the "right way" to deal with everything. It may have felt a bit like recycled conflict at this point, but it's been several years by now, and Taichi is, overall, contemplating his life choices, contemplating his diplomatic future, the status quo AND his "duty" as Chosen Child.

It's through the course of Tri that he: Watched parts of the city get destroyed ONCE AGAIN, almost died through the course of several fights and an earthquake-like blow, had to witness his teacher - whom he greatly looked up to - sacrifice himself, covered in wounds and blood, to save him AND their missing friends... And all that after Daigo told him that they lied to protect them and that he should move on and create a better future... Thus, Taichi decided to go for the kill again. Again, he didn't like it, again, he got reminded by Hikari of all people how terrible it all is, but he knew that he had to.

Kizuna chose a similar premise to Meiko's once again - first of all, if we look at everything above, is it really a wonder that Taichi probably developed some fatigue? We all know, see, can tell how much he loves Agumon - hence why he did end up horrified by the prospect of losing him. And as I pointed out before, he did use the fighting for the sake of having a purpose, because... Who else was he if he couldn't "lead" anyone anymore?

And since the rest of his young adult life was pretty directionless... Can you really blame him for it? The amount of nightmares, the tiredness, the PTSD the previous experiences may have caused in him could never be treated by a "normal" therapist - who could ever relate to all of these things that sound incredibly supernatural and like nothing an adolescent should have shouldered all by himself? Heck, he isn't even able to talk to his friends about it at all (even if stageplay!Agumon told him to!), just swallowing it all by himself, dealing with the thought spiraling in his head on his own.

Hearing Menoa tell him that she lost her partner, making it all sound like a huge punishment for making the wrong choices... It may have rang several alarm bells in Taichi. How often must he have dreaded making the wrong choices? How much guilt must he have felt for the sake of Hikari, Meiko, Daigo, everyone he temporarily let down by hesitating or acting out in the wrong moment, let it be Yamato, Sora, Koushirou, Daisuke... Now there's this young woman who asked him to figure out a way to fix a problem she couldn't herself, a problem that may separate him from his soulmate forever and for what? Because he grew unsure of himself, because he faltered, because looking at all his friends, who found their paths, had become painful and tiring. Because, even after coming to temporary answers, he didn't know who he was and who he wanted to be anymore.

He had to choose to fight so many times, he sacrificed himself as much as he could. Then there was the prospect of fighting Menoa with two possible outcomes: losing would lead to his own death (or "loss of self" since he would have his consciousness be trapped forever in a neverending dream of his childhood), winning would lead to the death of his partner anyway... It must have been dreadful.

When it comes to the different kinds of "deaths" you mentioned, I will try to summarize this quite shortly, even though they're definitely interesting angles.

I believe that a "death of identity" is basically what I have outlined above - while it mainly focused on Taichi's (decline of) mental health, which may also have resulted in a tendency to isolate himself, Taichi's journey is basically some kind of Lion King analogy, where he starts as your typical head-through-wall protagonist, but has to deal with the aftermath of cowardice and the consequences of his choices - and does so by running away from the pain FIRST. From himself and his responsibilities. He also could have chosen to let Menoa win and let his consciousness be turned back into that of a carefree child... But he chose not to let that happen.

Because deep down inside, there IS his path. There are his values, his persistence, his belief system. He's been on the brink of a breakdown, but it's all there. Hence why I really, really, REALLY want to WATCH him getting to his "Simba strikes back" phase at some point, since we only ever saw it implied by the end of each, Tri, the stageplay and Kizuna. We KNOW he will push back, but we have yet to see in what way, if he ever got therapy and how he's actually doing - mentally, physically, spiritually.

Speaking of which, "spiritual death" is a bit harder for me to grasp in his context, but considering how his sense of guilt and fear of cowardice have led him to (temporarily) turn away more and more from his true self, his natural sense of courage and more positive, outgoing attitude... It all leads me back to him having lost his sense of self. I will never forget the feeling of how my stomach dropped during the "depressed adult" scenes in Kizuna. Again, I want to give this movie props for depicting adulthood like that, but it really hurt and felt way too relatable.

And I guess in this sense, we can also talk about "character assassination", because... As you may have noticed, I have linked quite a few analysis posts in this answer, because I have been trying to analyze and understand Taichi for MONTHS now. And sometimes, I feel like I may be trying too hard - who knows me also knows that, while Taichi is one of my favourite characters, I also have my fair share of problems with the AMOUNT of Taichi suffer p*rn in the OG timeline (and I still maintain they only made Taichi as generic as he was in the reboot to avoid these allegations). Some may argue that it's all over the top and that they keep recycling the same conflict (for him and in general) over and over again for the sake of even HAVING a plot to revolve around (which also wouldn't contradict the epilogue too much and actually leading towards it eventually).

For me, it has been interesting to look at all of this in context, as heartbreaking as it is sometimes. Mental health is a serious issue and watching a character like Taichi experiencing at least some form of implied depression after everything he went through tells you that everyone can get affected by this. Even if your experiences won't involve several instances of near-death-situations, even if you are resilient and have a lot of social, mental and physical resources to deal with set-backs or intense, difficult situations... It may still happen. And it's important to show that there are ways to deal with it as well as you can. That there is hope, even if things are not 100% alright.

[tt0bu]

Periwinkles

Originally posted at AO3

Fandom: Kimetsu no Yaiba

Pairing: GiyuuTan

*

The first time Kamado Tanjirou met Tomioka Giyuu, he was eight years old.

His Ma and Pa came out of the back door, away from their old oven where the last batch of the shokupan was left to sit, maybe to burn, since little Tanjirou thought something must be wrong. There was haste in his father’s steps, hurried and careful. His mother’s strides were stiff, nervous, unsure. Nezuko, his little sister, was pulling on the grass where she sat, streaks of bright sunlight bouncing off her giggling face.

Tanjirou watched his parents trek up to the end of the street on that little hill in the middle of a city they call home.

He saw every adult from the neighborhood walk the same path, disappearing behind the gates of Nishida-san’s house.

Except for one unfamiliar uncle.

The said uncle, who looked too western, who looked like those uncles from foreigner spy movies his father loved watching, stood unmoving under the waiting shed just across the Kamados’ home. He was looking towards the end of the street too, where all the adults had disappeared, but made no move to follow. He was holding a black book close to his chest, and little Tanjirou couldn’t see anything aside from three blue lines on the cover of it.

New neighbor? “Uncle!” he called out to the man, jumping on his feet and waving his little palm enthusiastically. His young mind wouldn’t have noticed, but whenever Tanjirou would look back to this moment, he finds it weird how everything just disappeared – no adult to reprimand him because he was talking to a stranger, no chirping of the sparrows perched on the wisteria tree behind their fence, no sound from the nearby train station.

Maybe he dislikes being called uncle? The unfamiliar man with raven black hair and pale skin didn’t heed his call, not sparing a glance at the curious boy trying to catch his attention. Tanjirou took the man’s cold demeanor as a sign of discomfort, probably because he may be new to the neighbourhood. But it did not stop him from crossing the street, diligently looking to his left and right, twice to be absolutely sure, just like how his Pa taught him.

“Uncle,” his tiny hands pulled at the hem of the coat the pale man wore.

Tanjirou saw how the most beautiful pair of eyes, blue like the noon skies and the periwinkles he picks behind the hill where the Hashibiras live, looked down on his little self with disbelief. The man continued to gawk on him, gaping and frozen in his place. He clutched the thick book closer to his chest, tightening his grasp on its spine. The blue lines seemed to shimmer, a quick flash of shine running through the three lines, but Tanjirou thought nothing of it. After all, it’s almost naptime, his eyes may be playing tricks on him at the moment.

“You-“ the pale man with the clothes of a spy and the eyes of the sky swallowed, eyeing little Tanjirou with hesitation. “-you can see me?”

“Uhhh,” Tanjirou looked around, but neither his parents nor the neighbor uncles and aunts were in sight. “Am I not supposed to? Are you hiding from anyone?”

“How, how is this possible?” the boy heard the pale man whispered, his own burgundy eyes examining the leather shoes he wore. Those are pretty shoes, but he never saw his father wear one. Maybe, when he gets a little bigger, he will get the same pair for his Pa. “You never saw me before. Not even once, not even when you d-“ the man with blue eyes bit his bottom lips and stopped muttering to himself. “What’s the difference this time?”

“Uh-oh, no,” Tanjirou shook his head, the hanafuda card earrings swaying along his movement. “Are you new here, Uncle? Are you lost? My Ma and Pa went to Nishida-san’s house but if you’re hungry I can get you these anpans my Pa made! They sell out really, really fast and I’m lucky Ma keeps some for me and my little sister before taking them to the store-“

By the time Tanjirou realised the lost uncle was never really listening to him in the first place, he could already hear the faint wailing and sobbing from the house at the end of the street. However, before he could ask, he heard the lost uncle take a shaky breath, pinching the base of his nose in annoyance, Tanjirou wasn’t sure, before carefully opening his book to a certain page. The pale uncle traced what the little burgundy-haired boy could only imagine were words, before softly uttering the name he knew very well.

“Nishida Sora. 58. Lung disease.”

“Oh!” Tanjirou bounced on his feet at the idea. “You know Nishida-san? Are you here for him? If you don’t know where he lives, just walk to the end of the street. You’ll see a really huge wooden gate with crow carvings. That’s where he lives!”

The pale, blue-eyed uncle didn’t even acknowledge his words.

“If you want, I can walk with you. I just need to take Nezuko with-“

The lost uncle gently tugged on his collar to stop him from running back to their home. “I know where it is, tiny human.”

“Owwkay, big human!” The man visibly grimaced at his words, yet Tanjirou beamed. “Are you his doctor?”

The big human seemed to be ignoring him again.

“Sensei?”

“Uncle?”

“Sir?”

“Grandpa?”

“Grandpa? Do I look that old?” Blue eyes met tiny burgundy ones again, offended, making Tanjirou giggle on the back of his hand. The little boy just shrugged, rocking back and forth on the heel of his feet. He saw the uncle sighed once more before shaking his head. “Cheeky tiny human.”

Tanjirou pretended to know what cheeky meant, tilting his head to the side to get a proper look at the man who was ignoring him a minute ago. “Are you Nishidan-san’s relative? I can introduce you if you want?”

“No. I am here to collect.”

“Collect? Collect what? Stones? Bugs? Ohhh! I know a great spot to catch emperor beetles! Inosuke-chan always catches the biggest ones though and Zenitsu-chan’s just a scaredy cat so we don’t have to worry-“

“No, not that. Not beetles. Look-” This time, the man crouched to the little boy’s eye level, and with the close up view of his blue eyes, Tanjirou thought he was staring at the sky itself. “You shouldn’t be seeing me. You shouldn’t be talking to me.”

“I can see you though. I have eyes, Uncle. Ma said they’re very pretty.”

“That’s true – uhum.” The big human coughed to his fist, hiding his face. Tanjirou wanted to ask if he was alright and should he fetch this uncle a glass of water? But the man faced him again, gone was his coughing fit. “Didn’t your parents teach you not to talk to strangers?”

“They did.”

“And?”

Little Tanjirou tapped his finger against his chin, pursing his lips, deep in his childish thoughts. “You seem lonely, and Ma said if one of my classmates smelled lonely, I should do something to cheer them up!” He tugged on the hand of the pale uncle, jumping slightly at how cold his palm felt. “What’s your name? I’m Tanjirou!”

“I don’t have a name.”

“Boo! Don’t be silly!” Tanjirou giggled like a child on a swing flying into the air. “Everybody has a name!”

“Not me.”

“But I told you mine!” Tanjirou stomped his little feet on the concrete pavement of the empty street, throwing a tantrum. His father would give him a good scolding, maybe a little spanking, should he see the burgundy-haired boy giving others troubles. Remembering his father’s words, Tanjirou decided to attack from a different angle.

“Hey, hey – hey, oh, come on.” The blue-eyed man crouched again, meeting teary, burgundy orbs and blushing cheeks. “What now? Why are you crying?”

“Because you wouldn’t tell me your name!” Tanjirou wailed louder, acting like a spoiled little kid which is nothing like him, all because he wanted to befriend this uncle who has the bluest eyes, who looked like a spy.

The big human exhaled, evidently troubled, while Tanjirou beamed. “Fine. You can call me Yuu.”

“Yuu-chan!”

“Not Yuu-chan. Yuu. Yuu.”

“Yuu-chan!”

“Why am I even trying,” Yuu-chan whispered mostly to himself, and Tanjirou’s grin grew wider. “I need to go. Nishida Sora will be here any moment. Is that your house?”

Tanjirou followed where his Yuu-chan was pointing. Red, wooden gates, unlit house lanterns, an old service truck with Kamado Bakery hand painted on its back. Yep. That’s their house. “Yes, Yuu-chan! I live there!”

“Come.” The little burgundy-haired boy tilted his head slightly to the side, confused. Uncle Yuu-chan seemed to understand his unspoken question. “I’ll walk you back to your home.”

Years later, when Tanjirou would look back to that moment, he would laugh at the memory of what he would always fondly call as his first brush with death. But his little self wouldn’t realize that, enjoying the coldness of Yuzu-chan’s palm against his own, celebrating his newfound friendship. He wouldn’t catch how Nezuko, as young as she was, got confused about him laughing on his own, hand raised in the air like he was holding something invisible.

Later that night, delirious from a high fever, Tanjirou dreamt of blue skies and periwinkles and spies invading Japan in crisp suits.

-

“I heard you spoke to humans today, Giyuu.”

“Human. A tiny human, Shinobu. So what of it?”

“You know what I’m trying to say.”

“He has the gift of Sight!”

“Just be careful, Giyuu. They may let this slip up pass, but we both know consequences are harsh. There’s a reason we never interact with living, breathing humans.”

“I know.”

“I’m sure you do.”

-

Tanjirou would always look out of his room’s window, ceremoniously, watching each and every adult passing on their street. He was lucky enough to have his room on the upper floor, albeit slightly hating the room during summertime when the sun would burn through the roof. But it was the perfect place, for he can spot Yuu-chan from the crossing.

He mentioned Yuu-chan one evening at dinner, and even when his Ma and Pa was glad he made the new neighbor feel welcomed, they expressed their interest in getting to know the blue-eyed man. He even overheard them talking about it when he went for a pee and his parents were in the living room watching old spy movies again.

“Tanjirou said he’s a new neighbor. But we didn’t hear anyone moving here.”

His father’s kind voice cut through his mother’s worried one. “I’m sure he’s just a passerby.”

“But what if...”

“Don’t worry, if anything, he may be talking about an imaginary friend. Yuu-chan seemed harmless.”

Imaginary? He’s pretty sure Yuu-chan is real! But even if he wanted to defend his ‘not-imaginary’ friend, he would hear his Ma’s voice reminding him to never eavesdrop at adult conversations, Tanjirou. So he let them be, did his business, and went back to sleep. He decided between dreams that he would invite Yuu-chan to his home one day.

But Yuu-chan never showed up at his street again for a long time.

It was snowing when Tanjirou saw him once more. Not the harsh, unpleasant winter, but enough to color the world white. He was clothed from head to toe, layers over layers of protective shirts, mittens and socks. His Ma had always been careful, reminding him that it would be awful to catch a cold during Christmastime.

He was permitted to accompany his Ma on her trip to the local hospital to drop their freshly baked breads and pastries, a Kamado tradition during the holidays. His parents would wake up really early to prepare for it, kneading doughs and cooking fillings because it would mean the world for the health workers if they can get savoury curry pans or their bestselling anpans in between shifts.

Tanjirou watched as his mother dropped the box on the counter, the hospital guard behind her bringing the second one. From the corner of his eyes, on the far-end of the long, white, empty corridor, stood a man who seemed too familiar to him. Before he could even think, Tanjirou let go of his mother’s dress, walking hastily to catch up, sprinting into a full run when the figure headed for the door.

Yuu-chan?

Tanjirou really did his best to catch up, but his tiny legs could only do so much, the stranger who bore resemblance to Yuu-chan got further away even when he pushed against the floor with all his strength. He did not hear his mother’s faint cry, calling his name, wondering where on earth would his first born go and who he was chasing after. But Tanjirou only had one thing in his mind.

“Yuu-chan!” He pushed the heavy glass door open with his little hands, no guard to hold it for him since the man helped his Ma haul the box of pastries inside. But the stranger, with the same black hair cascading below his shoulders in a loose bun, the same crisp gray suit, the same lonely, closed off scent, didn’t acknowledge the pet name. So he tried, hoping to get a reaction, his young heart clenching in sadness because why wouldn’t Yuu-chan want to talk to him? How did his collection go? Would he know if Nishida-san was really gone? “Yuu!”

The man continued walking, past the gates, leaving no chance for the boy to catch up. Tanjirou watched as Yuu-chan turned right to the sidewalk, disappearing behind the brick wall. He wanted to run and give chase even when his lungs felt like it was shrinking in exhaustion, his legs numb from the sprint, his head aching from the lack of oxygen. But  before he could move, a gentle yet firm hand grabbed him by his left shoulder, spun him around and before he even realized, his Ma’s comforting and worried scent enveloped him.

“Don’t you dare do that again, my boy.” His Ma whispered in his hair, running her palm up and down Tanjirou’s back to let him know he wasn’t in trouble. “You scared me Tanjirou. What was that about?”

“Sorry Ma,” he was suddenly sobbing, partly because Yuu-chan ignored him like he was a stranger, but mainly because his Ma’s scent was so distressed, anguished, and he never wanted to make his Ma feel that way again. “I-“ a hiccup. “I saw Yuu-chan and I wanted to say hi but-“ another hiccup, and he reached up to wipe the snot dribbling from his nose with the back of his hand. “-but maybe he didn’t like to be my friend anymore.”

“Oh Tanjirou,” his Ma cooed, embracing him tightly against her chest, occasionally wiping his son’s face with her handkerchief. If she noticed that there were no fresh footprints on the snow, no signs of another human being around, she never said a word. Even when she saw his son calling out Yuu-chan to an empty corridor, running after a formless person, she never mentioned a thing. His son doesn’t need anymore heartbreaks on Christmastime, and doesn’t need to hear about how this Yuu-chan is only a fragment of his imagination.

-

Year: 1945

Month: April

Day: 26

Battle of Okinawa

Giyuu stood in the middle of the dense foliage, on the isolated island of Okinawa, as he watched soldier after soldier fall to their death at the hand of the enemy. Bombs would go off in the distance, their detonation shaking the earth. But he stood unmoving, completely in displeased awe, because this was a scene he had witnessed numerous times before.

“I will never understand humans and their obsession with war.” Makomo stepped quietly to the ground beside Giyuu, and he knew his fellow collector shared his facial expression. They were tired of humans killing each other, hurting each other, to satisfy their greed and hunger. “It hurts Them, these pointless endeavour of humans to best each other.”

“How many have you got?” He chose to ask instead, because even if they wanted to do something, they’re merely collectors. Humans and their dumb ways of dying were out of their duty; they were just sent to collect their due.

“Considering the numbers of soldiers on this island and the guarantee that not even a fourth will come out alive?” Makomo opened her book, flipping several pages. “A lot. You?”

“Thinking about the cups of tea I have to prepare for Choosing already wore me out.”

“Don’t worry, Giyuu. Kyojurou, Mitsuri, and Tengen are here too. Who knows, maybe the numbers are off and we won’t have to collect these much considering the collectors present?”

“When was the book ever wrong, Makomo?”

“Don’t ruin my optimism!”

Their little banter to pass time came to an end when a young, bleeding soldier ran towards their way, a group of foreign forces hot on his trail. He hid behind the trunk of a fallen tree, crying and clutching his jammed rifle to his chest. Giyuu only saw a part of his hair, black like his own, peeking under the helmet he wore on his head. Soot and mud dirtied his young face, but what caught the blue-eyed collector’s interest was his fierce, burgundy eye.

Eye, because his right was shut close, blood covering the half of his face.

“This is what I hate the most.” Makomo opened her book again, tracing the names under her watch. Once she located what she needed, she clicked her tongue in frustration. “Beautiful, innocent souls like him who get dragged to a war he did not wish for. Do you think he cries because he knows he’ll never see his family again? Or perhaps, because he killed another human even when he didn’t even want to fight this war?”

“I think he’s praying.”

“Should we listen to his words?”

“What? No, that’s private.” Giyuu looked at his companion with slight horror in his expression. “He prays to Them, and we can’t disrespect this young soldier’s last minute on this land.”

“I’m just kidding!” Makomo poked him on his cheek, but immediately turned when footstep grew nearer. When they saw the group of soldiers who gave chase surround the praying man, Makomo tucked her book in her arms and whispered. “It’s almost time, little soldier. I’m sorry your family will never see your beautiful eyes again.”

Giyuu decided to leave and do his part of the job too. He gave one last glance at the praying soldier, only to see one of the enemy hammer the heel of his rifle down to the wounded soldier’s forehead. Said soldier slumped against the trunk, but Giyuu thought he saw enough and turned around in haste.

A blunt force like that would likely scar, and he hoped it won’t seep through the soul. But it had been a traumatic experience for the young soldier with burgundy eyes, spending his last minutes alive surrounded by unfriendly faces. That wound would be a birthmark in most cases, but Giyuu hoped this soldier wouldn’t carry the wound to his next life should he choose to be reborn.

-

Tanjirou reached for the towel as he straightened his back, wiping away the droplets of water on his face. He absentmindedly traced the birth mark on his forehead as he brushed his teeth, his mind going over his plans for the day. He will meet Inosuke and Zenitsu at the latter’s grandpa’s house for a group study in preparation for their high school entrance exam. On his way back, he has to buy cough drops for his Pa who refused to see a doctor and will always counter their arguments with all I need is a good night sleep and plenty of water.

There’s nothing much to do for the day but to study, he figured, so he stuffed all his textbooks and notes into his bag and rode his bike to the Hashibiras to collect his friend. Inosuke thrashed like a bug lying on its back, complaining about why he always gets to sit and not pedal. He said he bets he’s a much better rider than Gonpachiro.

“It’s my bike, Inosuke. That’s why.”

“You’re just afraid I’m better at bikes than you, Monjirou.”

Zenitsu once told him, back when they were young, that Inosuke would actually get their name right after seven tries. I counted, his blond friend would say, because he kept yelling at me and shoving worms and beetles and acorn nuts in my face. Tanjirou tried to keep track the first few months after knowing the dumb fact, but eventually grew tired counting the wrong names before he could hear the right one.

The burgundy-haired teenager squeezed on the breaks, the rubber tires squeaking against the asphalt. He then got off, and gestured for Inosuke to take the handlebar grip. “Pedal away, Inosuke-sama.”

“Ha!” His loud friend thumped his back, with the aggressiveness that would match his excessive energy. Tanjirou had to step a foot forward to stop himself from toppling over. “I knew choosing you as my favorite friend was the right decision!”

Tanjirou shook his head with a little laugh. “Oh, what an honor!”

“Stop daydreaming and get on already! I can’t wait to run Monitsu over!”

“Don’t do that Inosuke.” Tanjirou transferred his backpack to his front, facing the opposite direction, watching the hills roll as his friend pedalled vigorously downhill. He only realised his mistake when they zoomed past the gate of Zenitsu’s home. “Inosuke, stop! Don’t go too fast –“ Tanjirou looked back to see his blond friend getting smaller and smaller until he was just a tiny dot of yellow. “ – we’ve passed by Zenitsu’s house! Turned around!” He shouted over his shoulder, closer to his friend’s ear. “Inosuke! TURN AROUND!”

Without a warning, Inosuke swiveled a hundred and eighty degrees, not knowing he had almost threw Tanjirou off. The burgundy-haired miserable back rider yelped in surprise and fear for his life. But before he could complain, Inosuke started pedalling again with the same intensity, Tanjirou thought he would die on the ride back to where Zenitsu’s home is. Good thing his friend waved and jumped, catching Inosuke’s attention, and the boy squeezed on the break so hard they almost did a cartwheel with the bike.

Never again, Tanjirou thought, as he combed back his hair. I refuse to ride a bike with Inosuke ever again.

“Wow,” Zenitsu stared at the two of them from head to toe. “I’m surprised you didn’t get into an accident.”

“He’s a walking accident.” Tanjirou pointed at his friend who wore his favorite boar shirt. “I am not getting on a bike with you again.”

“Just admit I’m better than you!”

Zenitsu pushed the two of them inside before their pointless discussion lengthened, the three greeting grandpa Jigoro along the way. Soon they fell into a series of question and answer, index cards and flashcards flying across the room. Inosuke would constantly complain about math and why did he have to learn such useless things. Zenitsu would also complain about Inosuke’s complaints, but would snatch away the problem, solve it for the boy, and explain how he got 12 as the value of X.

“Uhhhh,” Tanjirou stretched his arms, arching his back to pop the joints as he stood from their table. “I’m going for a quick konbini run. Anything you guys want?”

“Didn’t you bring any snacks from the bakery?”

“We didn’t open today. Pa’s sick.”

“Onigiri and Nissin for me, Tontaro!”

“Same, but I want tamago sando instead of onigiri.”

“Then it’s not the same, stupid butter head!”

“Bold of you to call me stupid when you’re the walking definition of the word!”

Tanjirou didn’t want to witness the inevitable wrestling match to which Inosuke would mercilessly hug Zenitsu from the back to squeeze out his oxygen, so he excused himself without saying a word. He checked for his wallet before mounting his bike. He didn’t spot any konbini on the way, so he decided to try the opposite street so see if there’s a nearby store. To his luck, he saw the green and red signboard a couple of streets away.

He parked his bike on the sidewalk as he repeated his friends’ choice of snack over and over again to make sure he wouldn’t forget. He opted for a katsu sando and a bag of potato chips, carrying all the food he picked to the counter. Just as the girl behind the register dropped the change to his open hands, he caught a hauntingly familiar figure, through the glass walls of the konbini, with the identical black book held against his chest.

No way.

Yuu-chan?

He quickly grabbed the brown paper bag after throwing a hurried sankyu to the cashier , pushing the doors with his shoulder. He then left the bag on the basket of his bike, before taking off to run after his Yuu-chan. Why didn’t he take the bike instead, Tanjirou could no longer think rationally because he couldn’t believe he’s about to see Yuu’s after all these years.

Was his eyes playing tricks on him again?

Because there’s just no way the person he was made to believe wasn’t real and was just a part of his childhood imagination was actually there. He looked exactly the same; charcoal gray three piece suit, light blue dress shirt, and a navy blue necktie. Just like the spies from his Pa’s old movies he often dreamt about.

“Yuu-chan!” He could no longer contain his excitement, jumping on the back of the man when he was an arm length away. But Yuu quickly turned around, reached for his wrist, effortlessly twisting it in a quick, practiced movement. Tanjirou didn’t manage to introduce himself because his wrist hurt and was twisted in a very awkward way, he thought he might snap it any second. “Ow, ow, ow, ow! It’s me, Yuu-chan! It’s me! Ow!”

As quick as Yuu grabbed him, the man immediately let him go once recognition dawned on his face. “Tiny human?”

“Wow, you remembered me!” Tanjirou beamed, the same wide smile he wore the first time he met Yuu. He almost forgot about those periwinkle eyes and snow white skin as he tried to bury the memory of the day when Nishida-san succumbed to lung cancer. “I almost thought you weren’t real, like a story of make believe I came up with in a desperate attempt to make friends.” Yuu-chan looked away, and Tanjirou wished he could read whatever was on the man’s mind. “It’s been seven years, Yuu-chan.”

“I owe you no explanation, tiny human.” Yuu-chan continued to look away, his blue eyes never meeting Tanjirou’s burgundy ones. “I never agreed to being friends.”

“But you remembered me, big human.”

Yuu-chan flinched. “My work involves a lot of names, and a mistake would result in grave consequences.” The man tucked his book in his arm again, turning around to walk away. “Go home and stop following me.”

“You sound like you’re just making excuses!” Tanjirou continued to annoy the man, hoping to make him talk more because his voice was somehow calming. He didn’t know where the boldness came from, but before he could think, he reached for Yuu’s hands, cold as ever, and pulled him towards the empty bus stop across the street. It should have been strange, with the absence of people on the street and the silence in the air, but Tanjirou didn’t notice. “Come with me! I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“What are you doing?” Yuu-chan gently freed his arm from Tanjirou, keeping it inside the pockets of his pants this time. “This is dangerous. Please keep your distance.”

“Why do you talk so formally, Yuu-chan? Come sit beside me!”

Tanjirou watched as the man glared at the innocent bench, burning holes in it as he considered his options. All the while Tanjirou’s wide grin never wavered, choosing to observe quietly as Yuu-chan argues with himself. The man looked like he never aged at all, like the past seven years were merely a week for him.

“You won’t stop until I indulge you, would you?”

“Nope!” Tanjirou bounced in his seat, grinning triumphantly.

“Fine.” Yuu-chan finally took a seat, a meter away from him. “But you shall not cross this distance.”

“What? Why? I’m not sick!” Tanjirou whined but immediately shut his mouth when Yuu glared at him. There was no hostility, but Yuu-chan has the ability to disappear from his sight, like how he did the past years, so Tanjirou chose not to push his luck further and truly anger the man. “Alright, no need to kill me with you eyes. Very pretty eyes I must say.”

Tanjirou’s throat tightened, and if he was standing, his knees would have buckled from the intensity of Yuu���s eyes. At first he thought the man didn’t like praises, didn’t like talking to him, but he continued staring. Tanjirou, unsure on what to do, chose not to meet Yuu’s eyes as he tried his best not to crumble because the weight of his stare makes the burgundy-haired boy melt.

To his surprise, Yuu, who was so adamant to observe distance, pushed against the metal bench and stood in front of him. Tanjirou raised his head to look at him, but Yuu-chan’s cold fingers brushed against his forehead. Chilly wind blew past them, causing strands of burgundy hairs to fall, but the cold fingers were there to brush them back up. Tanjirou couldn’t help but shiver, due to the wind or the cold skin, he couldn’t tell.

“Is there something wrong?” He managed to ask even when the chill he felt crept up from his lungs to his chest, making it difficult for him to breathe.

“This,” Yuu ran the pad of his thumb over the mark, twice, before tracing the outlines. “Was this always here? I didn’t – “ He stammered, as if he couldn’t make a sentence out of his train of thought. “ – seven years ago – “

“Oh, this?” Tanjirou instinctively reached up, not expecting a cold hand meeting his own where his sturdy forehead should be. “It had been there as far as I can remember. It just got bigger as I grew older. Seven years ago, it was just this tiiiiiiny thing, you could have mistaken it for a scar.”

He heard the blue-eyed man, who was acting so strange that day, mumbled something under his breath. It was so soft, Tanjirou could have heard three different languages, because even when there were no cars, no people around, he still didn’t understand the incoherence mumbling. Tough luck, for he has lost his gift of keen nose after turning ten, so he has absolutely no idea what this strangeness was all about.

“Does it hurt?” he heard Yuu-chan ask as he pulled his cold fingers away. But he didn’t step back to create a meter of distance again, much to Tanjirou’s delight. “Does it bother you?”

“Not really, no,” he bit his lip, recalling a stupid myth Zenitsu recounted once when they were nine. “They said birthmarks were signs of how a person died in his past life, but that just sounds silly to me.”

Tanjirou looked up, hoping to see Yuu share his opinion about the absurdity of the myth. But he only saw anxious eyes which couldn’t meet his, lips flattened into a straight line, brows furrowed. “Sometimes, old stories passed down with words of mouth would hide a truth or two.”

“Are you telling me - ” Tanjirou’s voice climbed a pitch higher, trying to suppress his laughter after considering that he had a life before this. “ – that I died from a blunt force trauma to the head in my past life? Was I murdered?”

“Don’t be silly,” Tanjirou wanted to scoff because Yuu-chan dared call him silly when he was just spouting nonsense about old stories and hidden truths a minute ago. “Besides, is that your only birthmark?”

Immediately Tanjirou crossed arms over his chest, balling the shirt he wore with his hidden palms. He wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t spooked at Yuu-chan’s question, because he sounded like an honestly curious man, but his instinct pushed him to cross his arms over his chest where a different set of marks hide. “How did you know about that?”

“Know about what?” Yuu asked back, and Tanjirou couldn’t determine if he was feigning ignorance. “I was just asking.”

Tanjirou gulped the knot on his throat, suddenly feeling stupid about his fascination with his own birthmarks. Science has explanations for these, there must be, so he shouldn’t be bothered by Yuu-chan’s vagueness or Zenitsu’s old stories. He was about to ask the man where he went and why he didn’t see him again, but Yuu was suddenly flipping a page of the book he was carrying over and over again. “What are you doing, Yuu-chan? Looking for something?” Tanjirou tried to peek at the pages, but Yuu-chan pivoted his body around to keep the book out of his sight. “I can help?”

“This is strange.” Yuu flipped the page again like he was trying to see if flipping back and forth would make a change to what was already written in the book. Tanjirou wanted to laugh at Yuu-chan’s endless turning of the page, but the man seemed troubled. “How did this happen?”

“How did what happen?” He was never proud of his nosiness, but it was harmless, he thought. He just wanted to help and stop Yuu-chan from tearing the poor page out of the book. The same book, with three blue lines spreading out horizontally, he was carrying back then.

“I was here to collect, ” Yuu shut the book close, tucking it under his arm once again. “But it seemed I was mistaken. I need to go.”

Collect? Like Nishida-san? Tanjirou wanted to ask, but such things weren’t easy to explain, and he wasn’t even sure he was ready to accept Yuu-chan’s secret, if there is one. He chose not to define who Yuu is, all that matters is that he was there again, talking to him, no longer ignoring him.

Tanjirou knew Yuu was going to disappear again. To where, he had no idea, but at least now, he was sure Yuu wasn’t just a part of his imagination. He felt him, his cold touch, his intense stare. Yet he couldn’t help but feel lonely for no reason at all. “Will I see you again?”

“Perhaps,” was Yuu-chan’s answer which offered no comfort to the boy. Perhaps could mean another seven years, or never again. Perhaps isn’t a guaranteed yes, sounding more like a gentle no. “These meetings wouldn’t benefit the both of us, and could put you in danger. Think of it as breaking the law, tiny human.”

Because more spies will be watching. This he knew, after seeing crisps suits blending in the crowds, peach hair and platinum, purple and aqua eyes. Yet he pulled Yuu to an embrace, burying his face on the folds of his three piece suit. “I stopped dreaming about you. For reasons unknown to me, I kept seeing you in my dreams when I’m running a fever. But when you disappeared, the dreams went away too.”

Yuu removed his arms around his waist, Tanjirou already missing the coldness that seemed to come from every part of Yuu’s skin. He couldn’t read his expression again, but he didn’t expect anything more from the strange man. He speaks vaguely, dresses the same, never aged, so his expressionless face was the least of Tanjirou’s concerns.

“Stay healthy, tiny human.”

Tanjirou snorted at Yuu’s choice of response, turning back to where he left his bike at the konbini. He didn’t want to say goodbye, even when he knew that perhaps he wouldn’t see Yuu-chan again. So he continued walking even when he didn’t hear the man move from his place, because he has his hungry friends waiting for him.

He looked back, hoping to see Yuu watching him leave and walk away.

But like how he disappeared seven years ago, the man was suddenly gone, like he wasn’t even there a minute ago.

He rode his bike back to Zenitsu’s home in a bleary state. Thanks to the numerous trips he made to his blond friend’s house, he found his way even when he didn’t even remember pedalling. He couldn’t feel his legs, his head buzzed, his fingers numb. He recalled grandpa Jigoro asking him what’s wrong and why he looked so pale, before seeing Inosuke’s worried face rushing to him as he slumped against the nearest wall.

He black out a moment after that.

-

I kept seeing you in my dreams when I’m running a fever.

“That’s not it,” Giyuu sighed, finding it hard to breathe as he watched Tanjirou stumble out of his bike, pushing the gate of his friend’s house with all his strength. That was his fault, for he couldn’t help himself, even when he promised not to bring harm to the beautiful soul again. “It was the other way around. You get fevers because of your dreams.”

“Who are you talking to?” came a voice behind him, but Giyuu didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. Instead, he walked towards the gate of Kuwajima Jigoro’s humble home. He pushed it open, stepping into the other side where his office was. Sabito came in after him, shutting the metal door. “You were supposed to collect a soul today, Giyuu.”

“Who are you, my assistant? So what’s my next schedule?” Giyuu dragged a chair to the table in the middle of the wide room, the only furniture present. His office, much like the others in his line of work, was a high-ceiling room, with a tiled countertop where he prepares teas, coffees, sometimes even sodas, for the souls he brings to the Choosing.

Sabito hauled a tea bag at him, hitting Giyuu on his head, flakes of the dried leaves scattering in his suit. “I wish your brain was sharper than your tongue!”

Giyuu clicked said tongue, wanting to agree because he admits his earlier actions were not well thought out. How could he let a human touch him? How could he not say no, only because those burgundy eyes kept haunting him?

“Kuwajima Jigoro should have died today.” Giyuu pressed his fingers between his eyes, already feeling the early signs of migraine, still wondering what and how it happened because he wasn’t mistaken; he never made mistakes in his job. “I saw his name. It was cardiac arrest.”

“Were you on time?”

He shouldn’t be answering such silly questions. “You know I was never late, Sabito.”

“Were you,” His peach-haired friend sipped on the tea he brewed, holding Giyuu’s periwinkle eyes in an intense stare. “on time, Giyuu?”

Okay, so there was no use lying, and he sincerely believed the slight delay couldn’t hinder death that was already written in the book. He would be guilty if Kuwajima Jigoro’s name was there and that death had simply taken a detour due to his tardiness, but the name was completely gone. Erased, with no sign that it was there before Giyuu left his office, which it definitely was. “I may have been late by a couple of minutes. But it shouldn’t matter because the time of death is absolute even when no collector is present to – “

Sudden realization dawned on Sabito’s face that he was momentarily stuck with his jaw dropping to the floor, and a look of complete disbelief in his eyes. “You talked to a human again, did you? What were you thinking? Were you even using your head like you’re supposed to?”

“He jumped on me from behind! He recognized me-“

“Oh no,” Sabito took the chair opposite him, his shoulders sagging in defeat. He catches his head in his hand, murmuring curses at Giyuu’s stupidity. “It was the same human back then. The human with the gift of Sight. Oh no.”

Giyuu nodded, feeling incredibly frustrated with his inability to follow the rules. “Seven years ago.”

“That was already seven years ago? Yet he still remembered you?”

Giyuu nodded once again, not finding the words to defend himself from Sabito’s unabashed judgment. He couldn’t blame his friend and fellow collector for reacting the way he did, because they weren’t Divines with blessed holiness, nor humans with free will. They were just reapers, tasked to guide souls to the afterlife where they could exercise their freedom to choose one last time and help them decide what they want their fate to be.

He wasn’t human, therefore he doesn’t have the same freedom.

Even if he wanted to see Burgundy Eyes again, not only on the times he was dying, he simply couldn’t choose to do what he wanted.

The clanking of the Sabito’s teacup on the saucer shook Giyuu out of his silent dilemma. His peach-haired friend frowned, the scar on his face more prominent as he pursed his lips in frustration. He once asked the man about his facial scar, which they both agreed seemed to be a birthmark, but Sabito couldn’t recall how and when he acquired it.

“You can’t keep doing this, Giyuu.” Sabito sighed, tracing the patterned yellow and green lines of his own book sitting on the table. “We didn’t know, we may never know, how our presence affects living souls. I’m sure you’ve heard of the myths.”

“I have, but they’re just myths.” Like those about birthmarks, and Giyuu suddenly found himself with the realization that if the myths of men were real, then there’s a chance the myths of the reapers of the old were real too. “No,” he hunched over the table, burying his face in his folded arms. “I messed up. What if – “ Giyuu raised his head, the frantic look in those periwinkle eyes making Sabito flinched. “What if Kuwajima Jigoro’s death took a turn and – “

Sabito reached for his head, shaking it vigorously in an attempt to rattle his brain. Giyuu groaned at the harshness, but was thankful for the distraction. “Don’t think too much of it, Giyuu. If something was indeed wrong, you should have heard from Yorichii-san by now.”

“I swear the name was there!” Giyuu flipped his book open again, trying so hard to prove he was simply mistaken so he could step out of his door to collect the soul. But he couldn’t find the name, couldn’t find the reason why it would just disappear when death was something no one could hinder. Not even the Divines could defy death if They deemed it to be the right time to take back the gift of life They bestowed. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Tan – “

“Don’t speak of his name!” Sabito abruptly stood, his chair tripping over. His booming shriek effectively stopped Giyuu’s string of apologies. “Don’t make another mistake, Giyuu. Remember who we are, and what we bring. Don’t.”

Giyuu understood, for there is a reason souls should only see them after passing.

There is a reason he should never let Tanjirou see him again.

For he brings nothing but death.

-

Tanjirou should have known.

He tried to whisper, sometimes in his pillow before he sleeps, a wish to see Yuu in his dreams again. But he never had bad fevers again, never got the chance to see the man turn his nightmares into sweet stupor.

He tried to whisper, against the glass pane of the train as it whirred and swayed, words of intercession and petition, begging for a chance to see Yuu once again.

He tried to whisper his name, trying to call for him to come and explain, to let him know that he doesn’t care what he is, to finally understand why he can’t get Yuu out of his system, even after trying to make himself believe the man with the sky in his eyes isn’t real. He wanted to ask him why it felt like Yuu knew him longer than he should have, the same way he felt strangely familiar even when he only met him twice.

Tanjirou should have known that perhaps meant an empty promise, a parting word disguised as an assurance that he will see Yuu again.

For after he touched him with his cold fingers and reached for the scars he was born with, he never saw Yuu again.

[thefinalkey16]

Hey guys..? Quick question...

Does Master Yen Sid... have one of the books of prophecy? Think about it.

In KH2 he has a book telling of the past, the present, and the future. We even read part of it, which I always found odd since he had already told us the information provided in it, and it had other parts that simply didn’t make sense to me. He uses the power of divination and reads the stars, so it says in BBS, but what if he was really using the book of prophecy?

Also, notice this curious little marking on his chalkboard in KH3, look familiar?

Now, I wonder why exactly he would be studying the emblem that is so plainly shown on none other than the book of prophecy. Despite always seeing this book on Yen Sid’s desk, we never see the cover of it, nor do we ever lear of its name. The only game in which the book fails to appear, DDD, is the only time we truly see Yen Sid shaken by certain events, such as Master Xehanort’s return, or Axel gaining a Keyblade. It returns in KH3, when he begins to really emphasize the power of waking, where if you watch HMK’s theory video on Kairi and Master Yen Sid’s knowledge of her fate, could explain why he decided it was so important.

If he truly knew the events that would occur throughout the series, then it makes his odd omnipotence finally make sense, rather than some speaking of the stars. It explains his knowledge on Nobody’s and the Organization in KH2, it explains why he kept Mickey quiet about Aqua’s whereabouts, knowing that there was a time to rescue her, to bring her back in the realm of light. It explains his ability to turn a blind eye on certain avoidable events, such as the ten plus years Aqua spent in the realm of darkness, Maleficent’s return in his own tower and why he didn’t immediately sense her darkness and cast her out, and his lack of assistance in the first game, when all of the worlds were at stake. It was because he knew what would occur, and how each event would play out, with or without his assistance.

Another thing to note, is that Master Yen Sid doesn’t arrive to help aid the guardians of light until AFTER Kairi and Sora return their hearts, after they failed the first time and fulfilled the prophecy. Now, how would he know that his guardians are in need of help this time, when before they died off so easily? I believe that Yen Sid had read this, that he knew that they must die the first time, for Sora to truly grasp the power of waking, his true mark of Mastery. I believe he knew exactly how this would play out. Kairi’s kidnapping, Terra’s return, and Sora using the power of waking to bring her back. He knew the part he had to play in this as well, that he had a role to play in order to ensure their victory. He knew that he had to wait, that the prophecy must be fulfilled before he could aid the guardians and allow them to go on.

We know that Yen Sid was a master alongside Eraqus and Xehanort. If No Name was In Scalia Ad Caelem, a world which rested atop of the ruins of Daybreak Town, who’s to say he didn’t find the Book of Prophecies, desguised and hidden, awaiting to be found. Who’s to say that a young Yen Sid, whom we know has an interest in books considering the bookshelves in his room and laying on his desk, didnt stumble upon the book during his training, and kept it hidden by his side. Perhaps he himself created an illusion so that no one other than him could read the true contents, to disguise it so it would appear far different than its original form to keep it safe.

Perhaps our dear Master Yen Sid has a bigger part to play in the next saga, larger and more important than anything we could have imagined.

[minijenn]

Keys to the Kingdom Chapter 6

AN: Whoops just ignore the fact that I forgot to post this chapter on here ahahahah might as welll just do a two for one special oooooppppssss ANYWAY here ya go. Chapter 6. Have at it kiddos, enjoy!

Previous: https://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/183619851434/keys-to-the-kingdom-chapter-5

Chapter 6: Wandering in the Dark

Faith, should I take the leap?

Darkness, raw and unfettered, stretched out as far as the eye could see, drenching seemingly every single inch of the realm in a mire of empty gloom. Each rock, spire, and landmass was permeated by it, just as much as the silent air and infertile soil were. It was a vast, lonely, hopeless place, devoid of any light or natural life or even the passage of time itself to bring any sort of change to its ever-stagnant shadows.

This was the Realm of Darkness. And it was here, to this distant place devoid of light, that Riku and Mickey had ventured into to begin their search for Master Aqua.

It was a risky endeavor, of that much they were both certain. After all, the Dark World itself seemed to react quite harshly to anything or anyone that came from the Realm of Light, as the pair had already discovered from the flock of Heartless that had beset them almost as soon as they arrived. Even so, they had made quick work of the creatures and ventured onward into the darkness, hoping to find at the very least some conclusive clues as to Aqua’s whereabouts, if not the lost Master herself.

Yet despite their shared resolve, their task was still rather daunting all the same, the ever-looming threat of Heartless on the prowl aside. The Realm of Darkness was a vast, largely unexplored territory, with multiple different layers and facets to it. Aqua could literally have been anywhere within it, perhaps even in the deepest layers of darkness itself. Fortunately for Riku and Mickey, they were both clad in new clothing given to them by Master Yen Sid, meant to guard them from the invasive darkness all around them. Aqua, on the other hand, had not been so lucky for her lengthy stint in the shadows, which meant that time was certainly of the essence when it came to pulling her out of them and back into the light where she belonged.

Which was why the pair kept up a steady pace as they traversed the realm’s barren paths, only illuminated by the bizarre blue cracks in the uneven spires all around them. Mickey led the way, more familiar with the Dark World thanks to his previous journey there alongside Aqua herself. However, the king did stop short upon hearing Riku’s footfalls slowly grow silent behind him.

“What’s wrong, Riku?” Mickey asked, curious as he turned to face his companion. “Are you tired? Ya know, they say that just being in the Realm of Darkness can wear you out if you’re not careful, so if you need a break, we can stop for a bit if ya want to.”

Riku glanced up, offering the king a small smile of gratitude for his concern as he shook his head. “No, it’s just… I’ve been here before. I should know this place. But all that seems like another life now… Its kind of hard to believe it wasn’t even that long ago.”

“Well, gee, think of all you’ve seen since then! All the feelings you’ve felt!” Mickey grinned, clearly proud of Riku’s progress. Progress that the king had largely gotten to witness first hand since their respective paths tended to intertwine so frequently. “Why, you’ve done years of growin’ in almost no time at all!”

“It really does feel like I have…” Riku agreed thoughtfully. “I remember the first time I was here. I was so scared. But now, my doubts and fears are gone. If anything, I feel exhilarated. And its not because there’s darkness in me—I know all too well what that rush is like. This is different. And its not just adrenaline either; I know Aqua needs us… but I’m ready. I’m in control now. Maybe its because you’re with me this time,” he theorized, smiling down at the king.

Mickey, however, shook his head knowingly. “Its not me. I think it’s because you’ve finally found that special strength inside you to protect what matters.”

“What?” Riku asked, struck by a sudden sense of familiarity he couldn’t quite place upon hearing this.

“Sometimes, you care for someone so much that other feelings disappear,” Mickey explained. “And then, there’s no room for fear or doubt.”

“…Is that it?” Riku asked, genuinely surprised that it was all so simple. Perhaps when he was younger and less experienced, he would have callously doubted that such strength and confidence could come merely from feelings of the heart. But after everything he’d experienced and seen, he had no problem believing that fact like it was the most sensical thing in all the worlds.

And that wasn’t the only reason either. As the newly-named Master glanced down at his hand, a memory stirred, one from a long time ago, when a Keyblade had been placed into his hand for the very first time. He had been much younger, much more innocent but filled with a deep curiosity about the worlds beyond the peaceful islands he had always known. And that curiosity was even more peaked that day, when a young man from the outside world itself appeared before him. The young man was strong and formidable, but his eyes were kind and his tone gentle as he respectfully addressed the younger Riku as though he was his equal.

“Is there some reason you’re interested in the outside world?” the young man had asked, genuinely intrigued.

Riku had nodded. “Yeah. I wanna be strong someday, like that kid who left. He went to the outside world; I bet he’s really strong now.” The young man’s brow had furrowed at this, but even so, Riku continued. “I know its out there somewhere. The strength that I need.”

“Strength for what?”

“To protect what matters,” Riku had smiled, especially as his gaze drifted off towards where Sora was eagerly waiting for him from afar. “You know, like my friends.”

The young man had offered him his own warm smile at this as he beckoned the boy closer to him. “Outside this tiny world is a much bigger one.” Within his grasp, a large, sturdy Keyblade had materialized, and, not knowing what it was at the time, Riku had stared at the grand weapon in wonder, especially as the young man held it out to him. “In your hand, take this key. So long as you have the makings, then through this simple act of taking, its wielder you shall one day be. And you will find me, friend—no ocean will contain you then. No more borders around, or below, or above, so long as you champion the ones you love.”

And just like that, a Keyblade had been bequeathed.

It was a memory Riku hadn’t thought of too often, but as of late, it had been coming back to him more and more frequently. Perhaps it had something to do with him recently receiving the title of Master or something else altogether, but he could feel it. The hopeful words of that young man, whoever he might have been, had rung true for him before and even now. So long as he fought to protect those he cared for, then there really were no limits to what he could do.

“Strength to protect what matters…” Riku repeated softly to himself before addressing Mickey once more. “It reminds me of a promise I made.”

“Really? To who?” the king asked, intrigued.

“Just someone I once met,” Riku said coolly, remembering the other part of the promise he had made to the young man: to keep that vow a secret. “Can’t tell.”

“Well, it sure sounds like a good memory,” Mickey grinned all the same.

“Yeah… it was…” Riku nodded, though his manner soon turned serious as he spared another glance at the darkness all around them. “While we’re reminiscing… Mickey, does any of this look familiar to you?”

“Sort of, but the Realm of Darkness has changed since I was here with Aqua,” the king informed.

“Yeah, its different from what I remember too…” Riku mused. “Kind of makes finding our way around here a bit of a challenge, huh?”

“Usually, I’d just follow my heart, and Aqua would show me the way,” Mickey said, knowing that very method had led him to her here before. “But… the closer I get, the hazier the connection feels…”

Riku frowned with apt concern upon hearing this. “You mean…?” he trailed off, hoping that their journey here wasn’t all for naught.

“M-maybe…” Mickey sighed, not liking to fear the worst. “But we can’t give up hope! We’ll just have to keep looking until we finally find her!”

“Right,” Riku agreed solidly, knowing that Aqua had given up so much to rescue him before. And that was a debt to her that he knew, simply couldn’t go unpaid.

And so the pair continued on their way, delving ever deeper through the cavernous darkness as they forged the path ahead. Thankfully, few Heartless beset them along the way and the ones that did were generally easily defeated. Yet even still, their search seemed rather directionless, even with Mickey attempting to lead the way, as neither of them were able to find even the slightest sign that Aqua was anywhere nearby. A fruitless trend that continued even as the pair happened upon an empty moonlit shore, the very edge of the Dark World itself, the Dark Margin.

“This beach…” Riku spoke up, instantly struck by the odd nostalgia of this shore as they walked across its shadowed sands. Though before he could elaborate on it, Mickey interrupted, his tone fretful and apprehensive.

“It’s gone…” the king said, stepping forward.

“Huh?” Riku asked, confused.

“I’m positive Aqua was here,” Mickey said and indeed it was true. He held felt a spark of light, however faint, that he could have sworn belonged to the lost Master. But upon following that spark to this very spot, not only was she nowhere to be found, but her spark seemed to disappear almost as soon as they arrived. “But now… her trail’s gone dim…”

“I’ve been here too,” Riku said, looking around. “With Sora. This is where we found our way back into the Realm of Light.” The new Master gasped as he reached a sudden realization that, based on all he knew of this shore, could have very well been true. Or at least, he hoped it was. “Hey, maybe Aqua did too!”

As hopeful of a theory as this was, Mickey was quick to shoot it down, knowing that the truth was much more grim. “Aqua… has fallen into an even darker abyss,” he said sadly as he turned to the gloomy ocean before them. “Somewhere I can’t see her. And I don’t think we’re equipped to dive any deeper than we already are.”

“So then…” Riku began, slumping his shoulders in defeat over their currently lost cause. “Are we going to have to-”

He never got a chance to finish as they were unexpectedly interrupted as a swap of Heartless—a much larger group than any they had encountered thus far—suddenly rose up from the sand before them. “Oh no!” Mickey exclaimed as both he and Riku summoned their Keyblades. “Riku… be careful,” the king advised as they both took up their battle stances. “Even the least threatening Heartless are stronger in this realm.”

“Got it,” Riku heeded the king’s warning as he held his Keyblade back, ready to strike. However, oddly enough the Heartless didn’t move to do the same, at least not at first. Instead, the shadows rushed past the pair of Keyblade wielders, frantically skittering so they could all join together near the shoreline. And once they did, they instantly converged, uniting in an explosion of darkness to create a writhing, massive wave of Heartless: a Demon Tide.

The towering horde of creatures let out a collective shriek, one that was more than enough to prompt both Mickey and Riku into action against it. The pair narrowly dodged the tide as it crashed down into the sand between them, a few Heartless falling away during the impact, though they quickly pieced themselves back into the mass. Riku and Mickey were quick to retaliate though, both of them countering back with a shared, well-timed slash against the base of the shadow tower. The force was enough to not only push the Demon Tide back, but also obliterate several of the Heartless that composed it, though it was clear it showed no signs of slowing down yet.

“Riku!” Mickey called over the din of the battle as they both leapt away from the tide. “We have to attack its core!”

Riku took the briefest of pauses, scrutinizing the swirling tower before spotting exactly what Mickey was talking about: a brightly glowing orange orb at the center of the tide, largely concealed by the thrall of Heartless covering it. “I’m on it!” he called, brazenly rushing in. To distract the shadows, Riku shook them up with a spell of darkened ice, freezing the tower’s base in place as he jumped high to strike the core. Mickey hurried after him, providing ample backup in the event that the ice broke, which it quickly did. The tide lashed out to knock Riku away from it, only to be stalled by the king’s Keyblade diving through it, taking out several of its Heartless in the process. With the other shadows as stunned as they were from such a devastating blow, Riku came in with one of his own, this time aimed for the newly-opened core. His strike hit true as the tip of his Keyblade rammed into the orb, destroying it on contact. And, with nothing else to hold them all together, the Demon Tide quickly fell apart.

Riku and Mickey allowed themselves the smallest moment of rest as the Heartless collapsed back onto the shore. Unfortunately, as scattered as they were, they weren’t defeated, as they made entirely clear as they rose up from the shadows once again. “It’s not over yet!” Mickey warned, already knocking a Heartless away. “Be careful!”

Before Riku could even think about responding, a sudden explosion of darkness rocked the entire beach. The culprit was an entirely new Demon Tide, one that burst forth from the natural shadows of the realm to attack the unwelcome pair. And, try as he might to stand against this new threat, Riku only had enough time to turn towards it before it slammed directly into him at full force.

He barely heard Mickey’s alarmed shout from afar before the darkness swallowed him whole.

He was drowning. Drowning in the deepest mire of darkness itself.

It was strange how much it felt like water, cold and wet and thick. But in many ways, it was so very different: heavy, crushing, suffocating. Within its inescapable hold, he couldn’t see, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think. All he could do was wait, his lungs, his heart, his entire body shuddering with pain as the leeching darkness seeped into them, for the lonely demise he knew was sure to come.

That is, until a voice, so faint he could barely even catch it, broke through the darkness.

“Didn’t expect to see you again,” it spoke, practically unintelligible as soft and distant as it was. Still, it was a voice that he instantly recognized all the same, his eyes opening wide the very moment he heard it.

“W-what…?” he dared to ask, still choking on the darkness entrenching him. Even so, he ignored that for now, glancing around the void as the voice spoke again.

“Why did you even come here?” it asked, a hint of wry teasing in its muffled, nearly indiscernible tone.

“B-because somebody needs me…” he answered weakly, clenching his agonized chest tightly as he remembered his resolve. His journey wouldn’t end here, it couldn’t. Not when he still had so much he needed to do.

“…Do you want some help?” the voice questioned after a moment of apparent hesitation.

“W-who… who are you?” he asked, flinching in pain once again. The voice was undoubtably familiar, but as lost in the crippling shadows as he currently was, he had a hard time remembering exactly who it was.

“Me?” the voice asked, just as he found he was unable to hold on any longer. His vision dimmed as the darkness flooded into him in full force, sending him drifting even further into the empty void as he heard the voice’s final word. “I’m-”

“R-Riku? Wake up!”

Slowly but surely, he did just that, his eyes blinking open only to find Mickey standing over him, his expression rife with immense concern. Riku let out a deep breath as his senses slowly returned to him, though even so, the king’s relieved, joyful grin was not lost on him. “You’re ok!” Mickey exclaimed, offering him a hand to help him up.

Riku didn’t take it however as he sat up on his own, his entire body still aching slightly, though other than that, he seemed to be uninjured. What did seem to be off however, was his hair as he absently ran a hand through it, noting that it was quite a good bit shorter than it had been mere moments ago. How did THAT happen? He wondered incredulously, though even so, he didn’t bother sparing too much more thought on the matter. After all, there were much more important things to worry about now. “Where did the Heartless go?” Riku asked Mickey, noticing that the beach was still and empty once again.

“I got more than half of ‘em,” the king reported. “And the rest vanished. But they spit you out first.”

“Thanks…” Riku groaned, pressing a hand against his still pounding head as he rose to stand. “I owe you.”

“I know ya feel invincible,” Mickey advised with a cautious frown. “But we’re not. Especially not here.”

Riku nodded, heeding the king’s advice. “Are you all right, Mickey?” he asked, placing his own concerns with his companion.

“Yeah, thanks to the new gear,” the king smiled as he tugged on his new jacket. “But… your Keyblade…”

“Oh…” Riku glanced down at the weapon in his hand, or rather, what was left of it. The Way to Dawn had been absolutely shattered, its once sharp and stately tip broken completely off by the swarming mob of Heartless. In its current form, the Keyblade was now effectively useless, and unfortunately, neither Riku nor Mickey had any means or knowledge on fixing it.

“The Heartless here are stronger than we expected,” Mickey piped up as Riku continued inspecting his broken Keyblade. “I guess we probably should have powered up our Keyblades before we came in here, huh?”

Riku said nothing, save for a somewhat forlorn sigh as he looked back down at the Way to Dawn again. That Keyblade had gotten him through many tight spots in the past and in many ways, it was the very weapon that had led him to becoming a Master in the first place. But even his own deep attachment to it hadn’t been enough to save it in the end, much to his bitter disappointment.

“I think we need to go back to Master Yen Sid’s tower so we can regroup,” Mickey continued sternly. And while Riku normally would have agreed on such a wise plan of action, he knew their work in this realm was far from finished.

“But… Aqua’s still down here, alone, facing enemies like that,” he said with apt concern for the missing Master.

“I-I know…” Mickey sighed fretfully. Of course, he wasn’t keen on the idea of letting Aqua languish in the darkness any further either. But if neither of them survived this realm and its treacherous traps to save her, then who would?

“What if she’s feeling as scared and alone… as I felt the first time I came here?” Riku asked as he gazed out upon the endless sea of shadow before him. “How long are we supposed to keep her waiting in this awful place?”

Sensing Riku’s guilt and melancholy over the matter, Mickey didn’t hesitate to step over to the shoreline to join him. A beat of pensive silence passed between the pair as they contemplated Aqua’s unknown, dark fate, but even so, the king still had hope that his longtime friend would be alright. And that hope was what he knew he had to share with Riku now. “I know you’re worried about her, and I am too,” Mickey began earnestly. “But Aqua… she’s like Sora.”

“What?!” Riku gasped, dumbfounded by the king’s implications. After all, he had always heard that Aqua was a wise, coolheaded Keyblade Master. But to think that she could be anywhere near as thoughtlessly reckless and wildly brazen as Sora often tended to be was more than enough to floor Riku completely.

“No, no, no! I meant she’s strong like Sora!” Mickey quickly clarified, understanding the new Master’s shock well.

At this, Riku let out a sigh of relief, glad to know that they wouldn’t essentially have two Soras running around once they brought Aqua back. One was enough to worry about as it was. “Ok, good,” Riku nodded, more allayed than before. “Then if her heart really is as strong as his, then she’ll be alright. Sora could fall into any darkness and swim his way out. So, if Aqua can do the same, then I guess we won’t have to worry.”

“That’s right,” Mickey readily agreed. “Besides, we won’t be too long. All we gotta do is get you a new Keyblade and look for clues about where to find her, and we should be more than ready to come back here and save her, once and for all!”

Riku nodded resolutely upon hearing this, more than ready to do just that. Still, for the time being, he decided that there was one final thing he needed to do before they returned to the Realm of Light. With a sift, single movement, he plunged what was left of the Way to Dawn into the sand, smiling sadly as he backed away from its new resting place. “Can’t use this Keyblade anymore,” he said, closing his eyes thoughtfully as he thought back to the distant voice that had beckoned to him within the empty void. The voice that had brought him back from the very brink of destruction. “Might as well leave it here… In case the other me needs it.”

Mickey looked to Riku with genuine confusion upon hearing this, though he didn’t get the chance to ask the new Master what he meant as he turned to leave. Briefly sparing a glance back at the broken Keyblade, the king hurried after him, both of them intent on making their return as soon as possible. And next time they came, they both silently vowed as they left the Dark Margin behind, they wouldn’t be leaving without Aqua by their side.

Fresh off their harrowing adventure in Olympus, Sora, Donald, and Goofy had unanimously decided that the best course of action for them to take would be to return to the Mysterious Tower to report their progress to Master Yen Sid. Or rather, their respective lack of progress, something that the sorcerer took in with the same sense of masked disappointment the trio themselves were feeling as they gathered before him.

“I see…” Yen Sid mused, stroking his long beard. “So you could not regain your strength…”

“Aw, no biggie,” Sora shrugged, putting on a casual front, even though that fact still did bother him at least a bit. “I still learned a lot.”

“Regardless, Sora,” the sorcerer said, his tone as serious as ever. “You will still need the power of waking.”

Despite bis best efforts to stay positive, Sora couldn’t help but let out a small, defeated sigh at this, knowing just as well as everyone else that the power of waking had eluded him during his failed Mark of Mastery exam and it still completely eluded him now. And though he had every intention of taking the helpful advice Hercules had offered him to heart, the Keybearer didn’t exactly know how it could possibly assist him in achieving a power as mysterious and special as that.

“It can’t be gone forever!” Goofy spoke up in an earnest attempt at encouraging Sora. “Maybe somethin’ll trigger it real soon!”

“Like what, exactly?” the Keybearer asked dubiously.

“I know!” Donald chimed in. “How about a good bonk on the head!?”

“Hey!” Sora retorted, hands on his hips.

“Perhaps it could be something as simple as that,” Yen Sid interjected surprisingly.

“Wait, you think so too?” the Keybearer asked as he turned to the sorcerer incredulously.

“Whenever you are in need,” Yen Sid began thoughtfully. “Magic happens. That is perhaps your greatest strength, Sora.”

“You make it sound like an accident…” Sora huffed, largely ignoring Donald and Goofy as they chuckled in slight amusement beside him.

“All the same,” Yen Sid spoke up, garnishing the trio’s full attention once more. “For now I am curious to know: were there any more significant developments the three of you might have come across during your brief journey?”

Sora was more than ready to answer this question, eager to detail their concerning encounters with Maleficent and Pete as well as Xigbar. However, before he could, Donald and Goofy cut in with perhaps the last story the Keybearer wanted getting out when it came to their most recent adventure.

“W-well, ya’see, we were fightin’ a whole bunch of Heartless,” Goofy began, catching a curious glance from Sora, who wondered exactly where the captain was going with this.

“And Sora had gotten himself hurt by not listening to us, as usual…” Donald continued, crossing his arms.

“A-and when we tried getting’ rid of ‘em,” Goofy said, his apprehension over the perilous tale quite clear. “S-Sora… well, he-”

“I-I got back up and cleared them all out, no problem!” Sora hastily exclaimed before either of his companions could say what really happened. His manner was tight and anxious as he offered the sorcerer a wide, rather forced smile, hoping that he wouldn’t catch on, even though Donald and Goofy already had.

“Wha-?!” Donald scoffed, looking to the Keybearer suspiciously. “That’s not what happ-”

“Y-yep, that’s absolutely what happened!” Sora reiterated, cutting the magician off by rushing to cover his beak before he could even get another word out. Despite Donald angrily flailing against him, the Keybearer still kept up his almost aggressively cheerful grin, silently wishing that both of his companions would let this shameful matter finally go. “It was pretty boring though, which means we really don’t have to talk about it anymore!”

“Would you get off of me?!” Donald fussed as he finally pushed Sora away, clearly frustrated. Goofy looked between the pair, clearly confused, though upon catching a rather pleading look from the Keybearer, he was quick to finally get the gist himself.

“Oh! T-that’s right!” the captain covered, much to Sora’s immense relief. “It really wasn’t anything special. And of course it didn’t have anything to do with any sorta darkness, if that’s what you’re thinkin’!”

Thinking that Goofy’s last comment might have been a bit too obvious, Sora let out a small, exasperated groan as he pinched the bridge of his nose, disgruntled. Miraculously enough, however, Yen Sid didn’t seem to want to pursue this tale any further as he merely took them by their word instead.

“Very well then,” the sorcerer nodded simply. “It is good to hear that some of your usual verve and vigor in the heat of battle has returned to you, Sora. That is an important milestone on the path to reclaiming your lost strength.”

“Y-yeah…” Sora said with a rather nervous sigh. “I guess it is…” In truth, he was rather guilty about the rather blatant lie he had just fronted, even more guilty about dragging Donald and Goofy into it along with him. But the last thing he needed now was for the sorcerer, or anyone else for that matter, knowing about his recent accidental slip into darkness. Especially when he was still trying to rise above such darkness in the first place.

Of course, the trio was set to truthfully discuss the foes they had seen in Olympus with the sorcerer, but before they could, the chamber’s door suddenly began to creak open, heralding a most unexpected arrival. Or rather, an unexpected return.

“We’re back, Master!!” Mickey called as he entered first, Riku trailing not too far behind. The pair had only just reentered the Realm of Light, but they figured they had no time to waste in seeking Yen Sid’s counsel on what they should do next.

“Whoa!” Sora gasped in amazement over the pair’s new outfits as he quickly turned to face them.

“Oh wow, you guys are all here!” the king greeted the trio blithely.

“We were here before,” Sora said. “But you guys didn’t wait for u—w-whoa!”

The Keybearer was succinctly cut off as well as abruptly shoved aside by both Donald and Goofy, who were both more than excited to see their king safe and sound. “Your majesty!” the magician cried happily as both him and the captain warmly embraced their longtime friend.

“Heya, fellas!” Mickey chuckled as he returned the hug. “What have you three been up to?”

At this, Sora attempted to intervene, regathering his bearings as he hurried over to the group. “We were visiti-”

Once again, he was shoved back by both of his companions, both of whom were eager to have this rare opportunity to visit with the king. “We went to Olympus to visit Hercules!” Donald exclaimed zealously.

“And to figure out how to get all of Sora’s lost powers back!” Goofy added just as brightly.

“But it was a big disappointment,” the magician whispered to the king, albeit not very discreetly.

“Oh, c’mon, do we have to tell everybody that?” Sora huffed, aggravated as he sat up from his fallen spot on the ground.

“Aw, well, that’s a real shame,” Mickey said with genuine sympathy. “But honestly…”

“We didn’t fare any better,” Riku picked up where the king left off.

“Oh! Did ya manage to figure out where Aqua is?” Goofy asked, curious.

“Even a hint?” Donald pressed as he noticed the pairs’ expressions falter.

In light of the disheartening discovery they had made in the Realm of Darkness concerning Aqua’s whereabouts, the most either Mickey or Riku could do was shake their heads sadly. This dejection was quick to spread to Donald and Goofy as they let out their own respective sighs as well. The pair had only ever briefly met Aqua years ago, but all the same, they still hoped for her safe return from the darkness just as much as the king and Riku themselves did.

“We know Master Aqua made it as far as the beach that Sora and I once visited,” Riku reported solemnly. “But that’s where her trail ends.”

“Meaning…?” Sora asked, joining in on the concern as he came to stand alongside Donald and Goofy.

“All traces of her vanish into the great abyss,” Mickey said, frowning. “Beneath the Realm of Darkness, where even we can’t go. At least not right now.”

“So… she’s gone?” Donald asked fretfully.

“No,” Riku said with a sense of firm resolve. “Sora was dragged into the abyss during his exam, and I went in after him. So… I think if we find someone who was really close to Aqua, and they make the dive, maybe they could reach her down there.”

As hopeful as this idea sounded to everyone else, Mickey simply shook his head sadly over it, knowing just how impossible it really was to carry out. “I’m not even sure whose left to ask,” the king said remorsefully. “Ventus is hidden, and Aqua’s the only one who knows where. Plus, nobody’s seen Terra in ages; Aqua was the last.”

“So Aqua—she’s bound to be the key to finding all three…” Riku mused, realizing just how much of a challenge that would be with Aqua herself as far out of their reach as she currently was.

“Yes,” Yen Sid spoke up, his tone rather grave. “Their teacher, Master Eraqus, would have been another possibility… had Xehanort not mercilessly struck him down….”

The sorcerer bowed his head at this out of respect for his fallen friend. Likewise, a morose, reverent silence filled the room as a whole, with just about everyone at a complete loss about what they could do to help Aqua, Terra, or Ventus alike. But then, just as the relative hopelessness of the situation began to sink in, a burst of unexpected warmth seemed to rush through Sora’s heart. It was faint, yet bright and sudden and perhaps even oddly familiar as it carried a sense of earnest longing mingled with dutiful purpose. And it was that purpose that drove him to readily speak without so much as even thinking about it, because if no one else could help Aqua, then he would.

“I’ll save her!” he volunteered boldly, brazenly. However, almost as soon as he did, he was quick to snap back into reality upon hearing the flabbergasted gasps of his companions.

“Wha-!? You can’t!” Donald scoffed disapprovingly.

“Yeah, Sora,” Goofy said much more patiently. “That’s gonna be super hard since you don’t have the power of waking.”

“Huh?” Sora blinked, shaking his head to clear it. The warmth that had so strangely filled his heart quickly died down, leaving only a brief sense of confusion over where it had come from in its place. “Sorry… I have no idea why that just popped out…”

“Well, it was pretty convincing,” Mickey said with a small smile.

“Yeah,” Riku smirked somewhat playfully to Sora himself. “Better not let us down.”

As the others all let out a small, much-needed laugh over this, none of them noticed Yen Sid perk up in his seat a bit behind them, almost as if he had noticed something none of the rest of them had. “Sora,” the sorcerer began, his authoritative tone catching the attention of the entire group. “You must focus on regaining your lost power of waking. Mickey and Riku, I recall that Master Aqua visited many worlds and connected with others who could be the link we need. Seek these places out in the hopes of finding a heart bonded strongly enough to hers’, with fortitude and strength enough to pull her out of the darkness she is now trapped within.”

“Good plan, sir,” Mickey nodded in solid agreement, hoping this course of action could finally lead them to the answers they were seeking. “Riku and I will retrace her steps and see if we can find any clues, but first…” The king stepped closer to the sorcerer’s desk. “We got hit pretty hard in the Realm of Darkness. My Keyblade was damaged, and Heartless broke Riku’s clean in half. So we’re gonna need to get replacements before we can continue.”

“In that case….” Yen Sid said. “Rendezvous with Kairi and Lea. As you are already aware, they are continuing their training under the tutelage of the wizard Merlin. Furthermore, I would like you to deliver these for me.” The sorcerer waved his hand over his desk, conjuring up two rather familiar-looking suitcases.

“Oh!” Mickey exclaimed, recognizing this type of luggage from before. “Are they…?”

“Yes, they are the same as the ones I gave you,” Yen Sid nodded, glancing briefly between both Riku and Mickey. “Special vestments to shield Lea and Kairi from the darkness.”

“What?” Sora spoke up from across the room as the pair took the suitcases, not even bothering to hide his obvious disappointment. “No fair! What about my outfit, Master?”

“Sora!” Donald quickly chastised harshly. “Don’t bug him like that! Its inconsiderate!”

“Settle down,” Yen Sid evenly cut in. “I have new clothes for you too, Sora. A gift from the good fairies.”

“Yes!” Sora cheered excitedly as a third and final suitcase appeared on the sorcerer’s desk, one that he didn’t hesitate to rush up to claim. “I knew you’d come through for me! Thanks!”

“These are no ordinary garments, Sora,” Yen Sid advised. “Like before, they have very special powers, so it took extra time to prepare them. In addition, there is also a gift from Chip and Dale inside.”

“Ok, cool!” Sora grinned as he shook the suitcase up, more than eager to see what it contained.

“Happy now?” Riku asked with a knowing smirk.

“Yep!” the Keybearer quipped, slinging the case over his shoulder.

“Also, Sora,” Yen Sid spoke up once more. “I am certain you recall our earlier conversation regarding the thirteen Keys to Kingdom Hearts. Well, after further deliberation, I have decided to permit you, Donald, and Goofy to go out amongst the worlds and seek them out after all, in the hopes of obtaining most, if not all of them before Xehanort and his followers do first.”

“Whoa, really?” Sora asked, Donald and Goofy echoing his amazement over being tasked with something so very monumental. “Ha! See, I told you guys we’d get to do something important soon!” he exclaimed, flashing a proud grin back at his baffled companions.

“Gosh, the thirteen Keys to the Kingdom…” Mickey mused, familiar with the old legend thanks to his master’s teachings. “Searching for them really is an awfully big responsibility, but I’m sure you fellas are up to the challenge!”

“As am I,” Yen Sid nodded his agreement. “This will be no easy task; even with the members of Organization XIII that you will no doubt have to contend with while searching for them, the Keys themselves are rumored to be notoriously hard to find. Inasmuch as they are connected to Kingdom Hearts itself, each one is tied to the very nature of the heart and the feelings it is known to express. Perhaps that knowledge will prove to be of assistance in your search.”

“Um, ok… feelings…” Sora repeated, rather confused. “Makes sense, I guess,” he said, even though it really didn’t.

“Worry not, Sora,” the sorcerer said with a smallest hint of a bemused grin. “So long as you follow your own heart to wherever it may lead, then I have no doubt the Keys will find their way to you. And who knows? Perhaps exploring worlds both old and new will not only help you regain your lost strength. It could even stir up the lost power of waking within you.”

“I hope so…” Sora muttered to himself wistfully upon hearing this, longing to claim that all-important power that still eluded him. Of course the only problem that remained was that he had no idea how.

“And with that, I believe you are all ready to proceed,” Yen Sid said conclusively to the entire group. They were all just about to embark on their respective missions too, until a small, but spritely voice cut in.

“Hey, wait! Don’t forget about me!”

“Jiminy!” Sora, Donald, and Goofy all exclaimed excitedly, watching as the cricket hurried across the sorcerer’s desk to greet them. It had been quite some time since they’d all seen him, not since their last journey together really, so suffice to say they were unanimously glad to reunite with their favorite tiny record-keeper once more.

“Every journey worth goin’ on needs a cricket to keep track of it,” Jiminy grinned as he tipped his hat to the trio. “And I can’t let ya start this one without ol’ Jiminy Cricket by your side!”

“The whole team’s back together again!” Goofy chimed in brightly.

“Yeah! On a whole new adventure!” Donald quipped, just as excited.

Oddly enough, Sora said nothing as he simply looked between his trio of loyal companions, a warm smile on his face at the thought of exploring the worlds with his friends by his side once again. Regardless of the danger the Organization might pose and the challenges they might face in finding the Keys, he was confident that they’d get through it all just fine so long as they stuck together. Just as they always had.

“Well, looks like its time to go!” Mickey exclaimed, setting an example for all the others as he snapped into ready attention for the sorcerer. Everyone else quickly followed suit, offering Yen Sid a respectful bow, though only Sora, Donald, and Goofy happened to catch the final statement he only barely managed to whisper under his breath. A statement that they had shared amongst themselves once before, but only now were hearing it from the sorcerer himself as he spoke it to the trio, with all the hope and assurance it carried along with it.

“…May your heart be your guiding key…”

As eager as they all were to set out on their respective journeys, the collective group began to spill out of the tower almost as soon as Yen Sid dismissed them. Still, that didn’t mean that they weren’t going to spare at least a brief moment or two for one fond, final farewell amongst themselves.

Donald and Goofy had already whisked the king aside to bombard him with plenty of hugs and well wishes, leaving Sora and Riku a chance to converse on their own terms. Something that they hadn’t done in quite some time now.

“I know you don’t really need it,” Sora began, offering his friend a wry, yet encouraging grin. “But good luck. I really hope you guys can find a way to help Aqua, but then again, I don’t think that’ll be too hard for you, “Mr. Master”.”

Riku couldn’t hold back a small chuckle at this, amused as ever by Sora’s lighthearted sense of humor. “Thanks. Still, I have a feeling that saving Aqua is gonna be easier said than done. First we’ll have to drop these clothes off with Kairi and Lea, and then-”

“Oh yeah!” Sora interupted excitedly. “When you see Kairi, tell her I said hi, ok?”

“You really thought I wouldn’t?” Riku asked with a sardonic grin.

“Hey, just making sure,” the Keybearer returned his smirk as he hung his hands behind his head. “It feels like it’s been forever since the three of us have all been together in the same place. Once all this is over, we really need to hang out, just you, me, and Kairi. Just like it always used to be.”

“Yeah…” Riku agreed, though his smile soon faltered as he glanced back over at his friend beside him. “Sora… I… a-are… are you feeling all right?”

“Of course, I am,” Sora looked over at him, confused. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Riku’s frown deepened as he closed his eyes. “I know I’m probably just worrying over nothing,” he began pensively. “But I can’t stop thinking about what happened during our exam. A-about… just how close Xehanort was to turning you into one of his vessels.”

“Y-yeah, but he didn’t!” Sora quickly said with somewhat unsteady smile. “So, crisis averted. Nothing to worry about anymore, right?”

“Wrong,” Riku crossed his arms and bowed his head, seemingly ashamed. “If Lea hadn’t jumped in when he did, I don’t think I would have been able to save you on my own. I wasn’t…” Strong enough to protect what matters most, was what he almost said, though something else came out instead. “I didn’t protect you like I should have. I’m sorry.”

For a moment, Sora said nothing, instead keeping his immensely concerned sights on his friend alone. He was honestly quite surprised that Riku seemed to take so much personal responsibility for something that, up until now, he had largely been blaming on himself. Which was why Sora knew he had to set the record straight right then and there, if not for his own solace, then for Riku’s. “B-but you did protect me!” he countered earnestly. “You were the one who dove into my heart to wake me up! Heck, if it wasn’t for you, I probably wouldn’t even be standing here right now! So don’t say sorry. Say you’re welcome instead!”

“You’re welcome?” Riku raised an eyebrow. “For what?”

“For the huge thank you I’m giving you right now for all of it!” Sora exclaimed, catching Riku off guard with a tight, unexpected hug.

Despite his prior despondency, the new Master was quick to catch his friend’s almost infectious cheerfulness as he let out a small laugh, returning the embrace, albeit less tightly. “How is that you always know what to say to make someone feel better?” Riku asked, still grinning.

“Eh, it’s a gift,” Sora shrugged blithely as they parted. The levity was short-lived however, as the Keybearer briefly thought back on Riku’s initial worry over him in the first place. Worry that, given what happened back in Olympus, might not have been as unfounded as Riku said it likely was. “Um… actually, Riku, I-I…” Sora trailed off, hesitating, though he had no real idea why. Leaving Yen Sid out of the loop made some form of sense; the last thing the Keybearer wanted or needed was any further admonishment over his faltering strength, which had no doubt been a factor in his recent bout of losing himself to darkness. But Riku… Sora knew he could trust Riku—he always had and he always would—even with something as alarming, even downright terrifying as this. So why then, did he still feel as though he couldn’t?

“Sora?” Riku spoke up, noticing his friend’s clear apprehension. “What’s wrong?”

“I-It’s nothing!” the Keybearer quickly blurted out against his better judgement. “N-nothing’s wrong. I just… wanted to give you one last goodbye!” he finished with a forced smile, nodding over to Donald and Goofy, who were already waiting for him near the Gummi Ship.

Of course, Riku didn’t instantly buy this, instead scrutinizing Sora with a rather critical glance. The Keybearer practically seized up at this, knowing that the new Master had a knack for reading him all too well. “Are you sure?” he asked, his expression softening after a beat. “Because if you ever feel like something is wrong, then I want to be the first to know.”

“O-oh believe me, you will be,” Sora assured, trying to mask his own guilt as he said it. For something had indeed gone wrong back in Olympus, when darkness had covered his heart, mind, and body like a shroud and left him with far more questions than answers, far more dread than hope. And as much as he wanted to, at the very least, confide in Riku about just how frightening that moment, that absolute loss of all control, had been, he instead kept that burden to himself, however unbearable it might have been.

“Good,” Riku nodded, resolute. “Looks like its time for both of us to head out.” He turned slightly with the intent of joining Mickey for their own departure. “Be careful out there, ok? I don’t doubt that Donald and Goofy will keep an eye on you, but you need to keep an eye on yourself too. Got it?”

“Y-yeah…” Sora said with a halfhearted smile, sending Riku a wave of farewell as he turned to walk off and regroup with his companions. “Got it…”

Of course, Riku noticed the uneasiness in Sora’s tone (it wasn’t like he had made too much of an effort to hide it), and though he was tempted to turn back around and find out exactly where it was coming from, he didn’t. He knew it wasn’t like Sora to keep secrets from anyone really, especially him. They had both usually been nothing if not honest with each other—or at least as honest as they could be, certain shameful moments in the past notwithstanding. Which was why Riku couldn’t understand exactly what Sora was holding back from him and why. It was something that bothered him, without a doubt, especially considering the recent alarming events of their exam. But for as much as he wanted to get to the bottom of it, he knew he couldn’t, at least not right now. There was still so much work to be done in rescuing Aqua from the Dark World, a task so important and monumental for the sake of uniting the seven lights and stopping Xehanort, that it required his wholehearted focus and attention.  Worrying about Sora, while always something of a natural constant in the back of Riku’s mind, would just have to wait.

Still, even Riku had no idea of just how much he’d end up having to worry about when it came to Sora later on down the line. And if he had… then perhaps he would have thought twice about leaving on just a single, simple, unsatisfying goodbye.

Next:

[varpusvaras]

Its upsetting to live in a world where homosexuality is still scourned (and no one on earth can tell me that Sora isn't the apple of Riku's eye) but I knew to accept that Sokai would happen because that's being realistic. I'm angry that she didnt get personality and that Sokai is really just "they're in love and you'll like it because its straight". They never should have left her out so much in the side games and she shouldve been better... considering her importance (princess and wielder)

The heteronormative thinking really is that makes relationships happen in fiction without the writers having to put much effort in it; in the last ask (if I remember correctly) I linked the trope talk video about romantic subplots, and it really helps in understanding how this whole thing builds up. Because society automatically assumes that people are straight, it’s easy to use simple marks and codes to show and determine that two characters are in a romantic relationship. And in my opinion, because these tropes are so widely used, we automatically start reading even more into them and sometimes, even seeking them from where they do not exists, which happens a lot in real life when being nice and smiling etc. can easily be interpret as flirting or otherwise being interested. 

I remember Nomura saying once somewhere that he isn’t very good in writing romances (someone correct me if this isn’t true), but at least he and the writing team aren’t very good in writing romantic relationships in kh. I do feel like it boils down to the fact that kingdom hearts is foremost a story about a boy and his friends, and when the first games were being written, there were two bigger character plot lines going than Kairi: Sora himself and Riku. Kairi got benched even before she got an real opportunity to shine. I love complex stories where I can piece together lore and I love the characters we are given, but I also think that Nomura took maybe a bit little too big by adding and adding characters and making them important for their own storylines and for Sora’s story too. First it was Roxas, then it was Terra, Aqua and Ventus, then all the bad guys. He kept them coming and had to find both time to give them the basis and to keep the plot going that it was easy to leave Kairi be. She had already been given her role and basis for her (back then still existing) personality. But as the time and games went on and the focus stayed on other characters, she, unfortunately, became her given role: the girl, the princess of heart, the love interest. Unlike Riku, who got to grow from his set role and personality, Kairi stayed the same and was eventually reduced from character to traits.

And this is where the very unfortunate conclusion comes: we have a character who has become her given traits instead of being a character who has traits, and the (even more unfortunately) most prominent of those traits is being the love interest for the protagonist. Then we have the society who assumes heterosexuality and has been taught by both real life and fiction to seek for the few tropes that indicate romance and which still is highly unacceptable of non-straight relationships. Nomura and the writing team might not have realised this or maybe they did, but for many people regardless, Sora and Kairi having romantic feelings to each other felt natural, because they automatically fill in the missing pieces to the narrative from their actual everyday life. 

Kairi is a wonderful character to write because she has her basic traits. We can go wild with her, give her feelings and agencies how we feel like, make her fit our own narrative, mold her to be the female character we so craved for all those years ago when we were seeking for ourselves from the stories around us. She became our own character, someone who the fans had written instead of her original creators, and just like with Sora and Riku and everyone else, she became dear to us, and kingdom hearts 3 was a cold awakening to the reality. 

I really want to like Kairi in canon, but it’s just not possible. There just isn’t anything to like in her. Not in a way that she has traits that are bad, not at all. She just wasn’t given enough for me to see who she actually is outside of my own imagination, and I don’t have anything to grasp for outside of those few set traits she has, and they are just those. Traits. A bullet-point list of boxes she goes in, but where she can’t get out. 

SoKai had all the makings to be a good, actually satisfying relationship, because in the first game, they were all equal in that they were still characters in making, waiting to become something more than their check list, but in the end, Sora shone and grew, and Kairi was the one who never got to change. 

[critrateup]

Run It Back: Kingdom Hearts 1.5 -- The Introduction and Destiny Islands

The title screen of Kingdom Hearts remains to be my favorite intros in all of games. Dearly Beloved is a theme which by now has been arranged, reprised, and remixed into about a dozen official versions. It’s a theme so iconic that rather than start fresh with an entirely new track for each new series entry, it’s been repurposed as an overture of sorts -- every reimagining of the track can tell you something about tone, beats, and themes present in the game ahead. In this instance, the theme has a somewhat melancholy bass line married to a flittering melody. The rhythm goes in an unhurried circle arriving back unto itself, accompanied by the sounds of waves gently crashing onto the shore. Sora stands in a beautiful watercolor illustration, alone and looking out at the sea. Like most of the other parts of the game that I remember fondly, the elements come together in a way that just feels right. Sora is alone, and though his expression is relaxed you get the feeling that he isn’t quite happy either. There’s a touch of mourning to the scene, which stands as a somewhat abrupt contrast to the expectations one would bring to a licensed Disney game in the early 2000’s -- something was different this time, and it was exciting!

The menu options are unfussy. You can start a new game or load a save (and in the case of the ReMIX versions, back out to the game select screen), and upon starting a new file you’re greeted with an intro cinematic. The cinematic starts with a beautifully rendered cloudscape that flashes the title in an unstylized, spartan, and serif’d font, and fades into a scene with Sora voiced by Haley Joel Osmant narrating his thoughts. It feels a little surreal, with him floating in space eyes half closed, wondering aloud to himself if he can trust his grasp of reality anymore. It sets the tone for the series, and places its production values front and center with a flashy cinematic delivering visuals well beyond what the hardware could deliver and professional Hollywood voice acting on par with what we’d expect from a Disney production yet surpassing performances we’d heard from up to that point. It also captures a certain angst that just resonated really well with 14 year old me. My stresses were piled high though I wouldn’t know to call them that at the time. I was just beginning to process some intense personal trauma that had occured very recently; national tragedy had struck the year before, with 9/11 and the G.W Bush Administration altering the course of American politics; and of course I was just entering high school, and all the baggage that brings along. Something about the way Sora saw himself falling from the sky, eyes closed and unable or unwilling to take control of his descent, resonated close and hard with me.

This is also the first time we hear the iconic Simple and Clean track, here as the -PlanitB Mix- with clubby vibe that marks the dramatic sweeps of the chorus have just a little more flair. The soundtrack to Kingdom Hearts was so good that it led to me hunting down a copy of the soundtrack at Tower Records. The craziest thing to me was that it had a domestic release (!) complete with the english (!!) versions of the Utada tracks and an unabridged, two-disc version of the soundtrack. Yoko Shimomura has since become a favorite composer of mine, to the point where I’d instantly recognized her work when I saw the first Final Fantasy XV trailer.

As a somewhat technical aside, The PS4 remaster runs at 60 frames per second, while the original ran at about 30. While the gameplay with look and act much smoother as a result, it is worth noting that the animation in the cutscenes has been keyed to 30fps resulting in a visual discontinuity when moving to and from cutscenes to live gameplay. It’s understandable, but it also shows the beginnings of what will be a recurring question with the remastered version of the game running on modern hardware: should the game be presented as the original was in 2002, and what should be modernized to make the game more akin to something of a remaster (or ReMIX in KH parlance) in 2013 then again in 2017. Although I recognize the sheer amount of work hours it would have taken to go back and essentially reanimate every cutscene in the game would border on absurd, it does give the impression that there was some work the developers and management at Square Enix were seemingly willing and unwilling to do in a re-presentation of the game -- this is not a no-holds-barred recreation of the original, nor is it quick and dirty supplanting of the original. Rather, it’s something that lands in the world between, and I’ll be noting such seems as they occur to me.

The opening with the stained glass figures is still striking as ever, and the constant moody, cryptic narration sets the mysterious vibe well. There’s a short sequence of actual gameplay that gives a brief tutorial of basic movement and attacking controls, then asks you with somewhat cryptic messages to essentially choose a build for your playthrough. I chose defense as my boosted stat in my original playthrough because of the way it’s worded. “The power of the guardian. Kindness to aid friends. A shield to repel all.” Of course these were values that I was All About™ but to be frank in later years when I discovered speedrunners and disgustingly destructive magic builds I became all about them, and would probably have never chosen Defense as a buffed stat in any of my playthroughs to begin with. It’s telling how effective the copy is when I still feel a pang of shame in sacrificing the shield as my default stat nerf.

The opening moments of gameplay on the Destiny Islands are totally unremarkable, and serve to highlight a coming weakness in the game -- namely, the clunky as hell platforming, with something of an identity crisis to come. It attempts to make stages interesting and fun by including varied elements of traversal and platforming, but the game’s unforgiving movement and jumping mechanics make it a difficult sell. With small ledges, an obtuse camera, finicky movement and facing requirements, a seeming lack of jump buffering and ledge forgiveness (more on that here https://www.patreon.com/posts/gamemaker-tips-14531948), getting precise movement out of Sora takes a whole lot of patience. Some of this will later be alleviated with Metroidvania-esque upgrades like a glide and a high jump, but running through the game’s platforming challenges with a vanilla Sora is tedious. Punishment for missing jumps can be harsh, reminiscent of Ratchet and Clank’s Planet Novalis Waterworks where a single misstep would send you to the back of the line to redo an entire sequence.

There’s something kind of cool and again telling in the way the tides are rendered on the beach. They’re GIF-y, cycling between a few frames of canned sea foam animation. Out of place as they may look running natively on a Playstation 4 in 2018, the way the gentle ebb and flow are rendered serve as a quaint reminder of the hardware that served the original entry -- it’s something of a momento mori for the videogame age.

The cave/secluded room on Destiny Islands has a bunch of really cool chalk drawings that I recommend you check out. Some of them seem to be of elements to come in the series, like the royal castle, starry adventures, and what even appears to be a Donald and Goofy. Weather intentional markers of the series’ now apparent time traveling and mysticism shenanigans or just fun little easter eggs for attentive players using the first person view function, it’s still a nice touch.

After some tedious gathering missions meant to familiarize you with the controls, Sora’s weighty movement, and some minor characters, the meat of the story begins to reveal itself. The introduction of the trio of Kairi, Sora, and Riku is mostly to the point -- Sora is excitable, smiley, and kind of a bag of rocks; Riku is intent on accompishing his goal of leaving the islands, seemingly in spite of the costs; and Kairi is kind if somewhat mischievous. There’s something of a love triangle painted between the three which serves to further drive their division in the coming cataclysm.

This is (to my knowledge) the only time the parents of Sora, Kairi, and Riku are even briefly acknowledged in the series. There’s a quick and disembodied line about dinner being ready at Sora’s house, and Kairi only briefly mentions family as the island is being torn apart from within. It’s kind of weird and maybe telling that Nomura and company weren’t sure how the game was going to do and what kind of future it may or may not have had coming. It’s a weird appendage to the series that seems impossible not to acknowledge.

And with that, the trio are sucked into the abyss, we get a glimpse of King Mickey’s castle, Riku in what we’ll later discover is Hollow Bastion, and Donald and Goofy are introduced. The story is told from and omniscient, cross-cutting point of view and I think it works for the most part. There are a lot of threads to keep track of, with characters we’re given lots of reasons to care about. In a game where the player character is one of a group of protagonists, each thematically and literally lost and in search of something, it creates a bigger payoff in dramatic tension to see them criss cross and near miss in pursuit of one another.

Next time, we’ll visit Traverse Town and discuss it’s soothing, soft-porn sax track at the crossroads of every world.