#its tagged september bc thats when i finished it

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Thanks for tagging @jrooc

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I’ve always been an avid reader and as a kid I wanted to be a writer so that was the start. I’ve been reading fanfic since i was in highschool, and I’ve had many different barely started fanfics started over the years but last year was the first time I was able to actually finish anything/taken it seriously. I think it just came down to college teaching me the last bit of discipline in my creative practice

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Just Gallavich, but I’m very confident I will write destiel in my lifetime

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I published my first fic in September of last year!

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

it goes back and forth, when i enter a fandom i read fanfic voraciously but now i think i write a little more, its a balance between you can write the fanfic you want to read and you can read other peoples work to experience ideas you would never think of or just a different take on a familiar topic - both are good. I’m currently slowly going through and re-reading my old fics to get them ready to print and bind and its been a super fun process

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

I hope i’ve improved a lot overall lol the main thing i always want to do well is portray the environment the way i envision it bc the worlds of my fanfics are rich and beautiful in my head so i just want to get better and better at pulling people into that

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Not a ton of weird research, a lot of google maps-ing to get a better understanding of the layout of Chicago and understanding how far away states/cities are from one another (i’m american, just a weird bicoastal one)

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

literally any comment, all of them are amazing and i can’t believe people read what i write and actually like it ?!? beautiful and very novel

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

um - i guess ABO, i was originally going to publish mine all mine anonymously bc it was very cringe inducing and still kind of is but tbh when i read it back i was like- wait this is good, even if it’s weird.

psychopomp is also a weird story, the way i thought/felt about it while writing was deeply weird and all the the themes of death and decay and devotion and consummation as an allegory for love were intended to be dark and just- weird

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Emotionally introspective fics that also really study the characters are really hard and i dont know why I keep fucking writing them - after finishing the fic im writing now i have to shift to something more plot focused

its really hard for obvious reasons but i also feel like i am an extremely logic driven person with a very particular worldview and all these characters are more emotionally driven than me. so i have to work very hard to not write behaviors from my pov and my decision making but from a studied understanding of the characters - which might be a good thing idk

um also idk if it needs to be said but brevity is not my strong suit, i should probably work on that

10. What is the easiest type?

Fluff, just cuddling and pillow talk baby i love that shit, also idk if i write smut well but it def goes the quickest for me

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

Pages app on my icloud - I write after work some days, on my lunch break and on the train ride home. Every so often ill wake up early on a weekend and be in the mood to put on my noise canceling headphones and write for hours, but thats not super often

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

uhh - we’ll see. my true crime au is def one i want to write but all my ideas for the plot are just too dark rn, so well see if i can get it to lighten up a bit

13. What made you choose your username?

tagging 5 writers: @callivich @mmmichyyy @iansw0rld @energievie @metalheadmickey

[artsy-alice]

Keef loves... halo-halo!

My piece for Kasama zine! Which I am posting now bc next few weeks will be busy & I might forget. Kasama is my first zine & it's been fun to connect w/ fellow PH fans over our love of Keith!

(bby & I have the same reaction to our fave dessert)

shoutout to Hazel for being an awesome mod, and to all my fellow contributors - y'all really made it a cool experience. and thanks to everyone who bought the zine & my friends who RT'd and supported this project!

MWAH MWAH MAHAL KO KAYO.

[ramabear]

the thing is this. i’m the one who picked that date. and i picked it because thats when the original came out (about that time) and i thought it would be fun to begin posting at about the same time again.

 but the other thing is this: i’m the one who picked that date and i don’t have to stick to it if i dont want to, actually. 

i have, at this moment, 60 chapters of trustfall written. that is two parts and two intermissions. i have also another two complete fics written and a good third of another i’m comfortable posting and leaving up as is for a while. that’s 40 more chapters available as buffer.

what i’m saying is. well. what if instead of 67 days until trustfall begins there were 5 (because i’d still wait for saturday to post/update thats just my preferred day) and then, even if i did strictly trustfall updates once a week for one whole year i would still have enough to post until september of next year before i have to have the third part done. 

yes. there are problems with this. mostly that i’m worried that if i start posting i’ll stop writing which kind of has happened before. another is that like. right now i’m writing not exactly in a vacuum but like, in a box. i dont have to deal with people being confused about whats going on or asking questions to figure stuff out bc the people i talk to about it i can talk to about it in depth.

but there are benefits of like. well posting the fucking chapters and getting comments and feeling good about sharing stuff and finally getting to see what people think about the rewrite. 

there is the eternal worry that i wont finish it (again) but honestly. i dont know. sometimes things get finished and sometimes they dont. thats just how fic is. and i’ll keep working on it for as long as i can and as much as i’m able. thats how its been for everything. 

but if i post now then i get to share the experience of people reading the fic for the first time with clem, who has honestly put a lot of time and effort into encouraging me to write this damn fic. if i wait, then i wont get that.

i guess what i’m saying is like. i dont know. i am filled the the sense of mortality that comes with realizing i am inhabiting a fleshy container that will, one day, perish, and that day may be at any time for almost any reason and life kind of sucks a lot but fic makes things easier and i’ve written all these words, why wait to share them?

i guess i gotta figure out that fucking tag list.

[stray-tori]

An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness

I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?

So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)

ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.

And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)

And it destroyed me.

For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)

I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.

Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))

(i’m serious, this is fucking long)

__________

Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff

This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive

What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again

Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever

I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay

This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd

He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist

Save my babyyyy

Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee

This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it

Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep

It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.

yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot

hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???

also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY

they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds

like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho

i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it

[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]

I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks

WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad

OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too

OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly

I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY

I'M :((((

different species confirmed

I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP 

someone help him he looks so saddddd

not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT

AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft

PFFF

I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((

awww

i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together

OH OH THEY'RE KISSING

best buildup, honestly

the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute

D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed

i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow

Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this

hELP

chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao

[Noah was jealous]

w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs

oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever

DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha

okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION

They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED

understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so

tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot

hooo

they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too

[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]

which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy

on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS 

SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY

OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO

look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS

how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn

[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]

WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd

cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly

dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs

oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds

this is the best 3 panels in existence.

h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you

[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]

awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this

"well im not okay"

MY BABIESSSS 

they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd

[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O

N OOOO

this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE 

:((( babyyyy

I AM EMO

Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED

OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child

i am so emo about this

[reminder he’s been abused TvT]

[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]

i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((

he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD

I AM SO SAD

No

NO

It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy

[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]

what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh

I’M

I’M SO SAD

now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god

I'M :((( 

NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO

N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE

Im. gonna cry more 

Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again

[mei: p-probably not, no]

i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha

BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo

[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]

OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING

its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((

[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee

and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE

I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE

im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much

[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]

dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit

[mei: THAT TOO]

[...]

tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character

i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that

pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet

[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]

yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho

[...]

i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots

[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]

okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace

ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing

[... removed some general confusion about the plot]

YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.

i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD

okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??

one good message 

why 

did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]

im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year

why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING

[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]

its an experience allright WELL

_______________

yup that’s it.

in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.

That’s it.

Have a nice day.

[voidnatasha]

Thanks for tagging me Olli! @oscarinthewoods

1. what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

People mostly call me Mari but my full name is Mariam i like that too

2. when is your birthday?

September 28th

3. where do you live?

The woods lol (nah for real I'm from Georgia and NO not the state)

4. three things you are doing right now?

Just finished my homework, also eating chocolate and waiting for my english lesson to start

5. four fandoms that have piqued your interest?

Right now i loooove the penumbra podcast but after the supernatural fandom i really dont have any energy left lmaoo

6. how has the pandemic been treating you?

Horribly. I WANT TO GO OUTSIDE DAMMIT

7. a song you can’t stop listening to right now?

Love is a laserquest by arctic monkeys but the acoustic version holy shit its so beautiful

8. recommend a movie?

Havent watched any movies lately but i started watching the queen's gambit last night and i couldnt sleep bc i was thinking about it lmaoo so yeah DEFINETELY recommend

9. how old are you?

730

10. school, university, occupation, other?

High school *throws up*

11. do you prefer heat or cold?

I'd rather freeze to death in the arctic tundra than burn alive if thats what u mean

12. name one fact others may not know about you

I dont mean to be sarcastic but i am and please dont take it personally... also I'm immortal

13. are you shy?

Hell no i dont care about that stuff

14. pronouns

She/her but honestly whatever

15. biggest pet peeves

Straight people

16. what is your favorite “-dere” type?

My what?

17. rate your life from 1 to 10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be

4?

18. what’s your main blog?

This one

19. list your side blogs and what they’re used for

Dont have any

20. is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

Hey if i dont text you for a month dont worry im fine im just isolating myself and also... i say some weird shit sometimes dont get scared or anything lol

@ancientoptimism @aetihaas @deadpoetwilde @im--upto-no-good @jojo-lu2022

[jacksallys]

get to know me !! (i’m putting this under the cut because it’s a wee bit long but thank you to @sunshinelukee and @calumthoodshands for both tagging me)

idk who to tag so !! uhh @compulsiveidiota @boomerangbassist and @ashesonthefloor

(and anyone else who would like to do this is more than welcome to say that i tagged them !!)

name/nickname. okay my actual name is maddison but i cant actually express how much i hate that? so technically maddie is just a nickname but like, no one actually calls me that besides my sister when shes pissed off w me

gender. uh, next question

star sign. aries sun !!

height. five foot five

time. 23:53

birthday. 25th march 

favourite bands. 5sos, the 1975, arctic monkeys, catfish and the bottlemen, all time low, waterparks oasis & my chemical romance and ?? so many more but i’ve already listed off too many bands

favourite solo artists. yungblud, lewis capaldi, taylor swift, cavetown & dove cameron

song stuck in my head. the scooby doo theme tune

last movie. avengers infinity war (i didnt finish it though, i got distracted)

last show. wandavision

when did i make this blog. september 2017 (i think)

what i post. fics + edits :)

the last thing i googled. “barbie films in chronological order”

other blogs. i have a few but i dont really like giving out their usernames !! (perhaps ive started a carry on blog tho... @simonsalisburys)

do i get asks. occasionally !!

why i chose this url. i,,, simp for michael clifford?

following. 1030 (i need to unfollow a lot of people tbh bc most of these blogs are inactive or dont post things im interested in but)

followers. 1612 <3

average hours of sleep. maybe like 10-12

lucky number. 11

instruments. i can play a few songs on a piano but thats probably it.

what am i wearing right now. uh, a black tshirt that ive been wearing for... too many days and a pair of joggers? might put a hoodie on though because its a bit cold

dream trip. amsterdam

favourite foods. i dont really know if i have a favourite food?? maybe just a sunday dinner tbh 

nationality. british?? english?? im from england, whatever that is. im stupid ok

favourite song. love song by yungblud... or dont cry by guns n roses. or maybe live forever by oasis. or wrapped around your finger by 5sos. or give yourself a try by the 1975 (ok probably love song but i have a Lot of favourite songs)

last book i read. i think it was when i reread carry on 

top three fictional universes. harry potter, percy jackson, carry on

favourite colour. yellow !!

[poindorkster]

tagged by the only person who likes me @luci-cunt  thank you for noticing me and enjoying the things I post, I love your writings and your blog and your vibe and aaahhheusjsvudejwosonfjdj unnnghhh♡♡♡

ARE YOU STAYING HOME FROM WORK/SCHOOL?  yerr, I'm a nanny and was working to help the single mom I work for do all the at home schooling for the 3 children. She is still working bc she is a psychologist and just switched to phone and video calls.... but then she got sick. And so did the kids.

They're all doing okay. But yeah, I haven't been to work in 3 weeks.

IF YOU’RE STAYING HOME, WHO IS THERE WITH YOU? My boyfriend, his mom, our 4 cats, and the snake I'm not allowed to hold (well, I could but he bites o.o) I also went and stole my dog back from my mom for a day or two cause I missed her. (that's a long story but when I moved my mom was like FINE GIT but was like sobbing over my dog like NOOO NOT MY BABY!!)

ARE YOU A HOMEBODY? As of the past year or 2 yeah, my self image and depression got bad again so I just kept saying no to plans. This self isolating stuff has been going on longer than the virus existed. Now I can bail on video calls instead of plans tho, so thats new and exciting 👍

AN EVENT THAT YOU WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT GOT CANCELLED? Well there was a Billy Strings concert on April 16th that got moved to September. but I'm awaiting cancellation of the concert at Red Rocks in Colorado at the end of May. It hasn't been yet but I'm sure it will be. It is The Devil Makes Three and The Punch Brothers and I was going with two of my closest friends. I've never been to Colorado and I was sooo looking forward to it. But I understand if it is cancelled. But if GreyFox the music festival I go to in July every year SINCE I WAS BORN is cancelled I'm gonna rain hellfire on some ignant bitches who weren't following the CDC guidelines

WHAT MOVIES HAVE YOU WATCHED RECENTLY? just watched Glass, the m.night shyamalan movie that is the 3rd in the Unbreakable and Split series. It wasn't as good as the first two, but it was still samuel l. jackson, bruce willis and james mcavoy(playing 24 fucking characters) so still good

WHAT SHOWS ARE YOU WATCHING? just finished Tiger King lolol also lots of stand up and buzzfeed unsolved because i love my sons shane and ryan and they make me giggle in these trying times

WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO? Brockhampton and Kevin Abstract, but not as much music as I normally do bc I mostly jam out in the car and I'm not going anywhere. I also have been singing and listening to this song called Junkies in Love by That Handsome Devil which is great and I am eternally grateful to spotify discover weekly for showing it to me as well as showing me the band Jukebox the Ghost over 2 years ago and I've been blasting their song Jumpstarted a lot also

WHAT ARE YOU READING? I've been reading or listening to audiobooks everyday, I read the first witcher book, the last wish and meant to go on with those but wanted something more goofy and gay so took a detour to read the gentleman's guide to vice and virtue (which was delightful) and was either going to read the sequel, the lady's guide to petticoats and piracy, or continue with the witcher books, but somehow i blacked out and started rereading aftg again...idk what happened i swear...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR SELF-CARE? honestly, not enough. last week i was better to myself, I ate real, balanced meals, and was writing in my journal and I took two bubble baths and made sure to do some skin care everyday, but this week I've really just turned into an oreo loving mountain troll... :/

I'm trying to create art again, cause I know the accomplishment I will feel after is better than most drugs, but its hard. my bestfriend emily made this facebook group called community art challenge, where everyone is just sharing the things they are creating during this time and I'm trying to get over my anxieties when it comes to creating anything, i always feel like I'm just wasting supplies that could be used for something great and I shouldn't even try. I'm gonna try tho, it may be terrible but I'm gonna fucking try

i have like no friends on here so idk who to tag... guess I'll just try to tag some ppls i like and who maybe like me, maybe you wanna do this?

@absolutebeginnerlondoner @belashi @rose-colored-ghost @amysnotdeadyet (we have the same name and i love your blog♡)

[suckerforstrangerthings]

Steve as a boyfriend.

just bc i’m not being fed well enough and i have some hc’s of my own

so yeah

steve as a boyfriend bc it’s been a week since I've finished the whole two seasons of ST for the first time I feel deprived after reading every.single.steve.post.in.existence

and i literally made another account just feed myself haha might as well feed everyone amiright

anywaY STEVE

a full course meal and full time daD WHAT A DAD Y’ALL BETTER BE STANNING DAD OF A MILLION KIDS STEVE HARRINGTON OKAY

but yeah steve as a boyfriend

I'm starting this from the origins ok cool glad we’re on the same page

so basically all this canoodling between you and steve starts in s2 because in s1 he was a teenager and worry free before he began to bald and stress over god knows how many kids he ended up with bc two were missing and he mainly handled four??? I'm still lost at this point

but yeAH

you wear stripes turtle necks with bomber jackets and you slay them tbh

you're a newb like billy

that story arc comes in later in the post jusT GIMME A SEC

but yeah

I'm making you dustINS SISTER BC DAMN imagine my tiny badass dustin knockING SOME SENSE INTO HARRINGTON LIEK ‘DUDE THATS MY SISTER’

i imagine you being present and dustin gets all in your and steve’s face but steve, being the dad but still teenager that he is, places his whole hand on his son’s face and pushes him to the side as if he wasn't even there

but yeaH YOU CAME FROM OUT OF TOWN BC THE MAGIC OF NETFLIX AMIRIGHt thEY EVEN MAKE THE DEAD ONES COME BACK ALIVE

IM LOOKING AT YOU WILLY WILL

anywAY YOURE LIKE THE FEMALE VERSION OF STEVE OK

y’all have a great sense of hair I'm jealous from imagining it

a couple that slays hair together, stays togethER.

you’ve come across steve a ton of times in the high school, some times were spent on him trying to get your attention bc you really didn't give a shit about anyone??? it was friendLY ATTENTION THO BC NANCYYYYYYYYYY.

and steve was a curious bean and you were a mysterious bean and y’all know the saying; curiosity killed the steve.

but satisfaction brought steve back.

heads up, bonus points for confusion bc steve calls you ‘henderson’ like, your first name?? steve doesnt know her mhm.

and since names are generic as shit steve didn't really click into the fact that you were dustiNS SISTER

like

boi sees you power walking behind dustin when he goes to the wheelers’ house w flowers

the scene goes like this

“HENDERSON?!”

“HARRINGTON?!”

bc im lazy imagine that going on for a good two minutes until steve questions if you and dustin are siblings

“son of a bitch, steVE, WE’RE BOTH HENDERSON, SEEING AS YOU JUST WASTED MY TIME BY SAYING IT ON FUCKING REPEAT LIKE WE DIDNT FUCKING KNOW”

i imagine that to come out of dustins mouth

dustin and steve were one of the best things to come out of strangER THINGS CAN S3 JUST COME OUT NOW PLS ITS BEEN A WEEK BUT IT FEELS LIKE 87 YEARS

you end up following dustin into steves car bc never in a million years would you trust steve harrington w your baby brother. 

you take that back when you realise he's actually a damn good babysitter

speaking of babysitters

you didn't think you'd become the mom to steves parental pairing

you didn't think you'd be a mom at all, not until literally you'd be birthing one out

looks like theres a loophole for everything bc you and steve end up doing a lot of domestic shit together when you acc date and imma leave that for towards the end

so yeah you end up getting intertwined with the demo dogs showdown; steve w his bat and you with dustins hockey stick

lucas calls y’all the power couple

you become max’s role model

“that was so badass”

when y’all are back at the byers’, you and steve end up tag teaming to handle the bull that is billy hargrove (loVE DACRE OK) 

steve ends up getting beat up as shit and billy uses that spare time to manipulate you. mANIPULATION IS NOT OKAY!!

he has your cheeks squishing between his hand and you up against the wall until dustin tries to intervene bc sisTER.

steve gets up again and pushes dustiN OUTTA THE WAY BC NO ONE HOLDS YOU AGAINST THE WALL THAT IS NOT COOL!!

steve ends up beat up again and max gotta out the syringe bC billy be loco.

you comply with max being the driver to the demogorgon hole thingy bc you stay at the back with steves head lying on your stomach as you press compromised ice packs of peas and whatnot on his face

dustin swore he saw tears in your eyes

you whisper gratefulness bc time spent with steve was fuckign crazy but he actually got himself beat up for you

and no onES DONE THAT BEFORE

steve is special, no one deserves hiM.

ma boi better be loved and appreciated in s3 or I'm throwing hands

when steve is alive again, just in time for the demo dog field trip!!, he ends up being your trip buddy i cackle its adoraBLE

keeps an arm across your front as a proteCTIVE GESTURE I AWE

when all the shit w the demo dogs is over, you show your overprotective side and ask if it hurts too much in some places on his face

“nothing a kiss wouldn't fix”

“shut uP hARRINGTON!”

“dudE THATS MY SISTER”

“may i kiss you miss henderson just for the pleasure of us both and the disgust of your little brother?”

“you may, harrington”

lmao that kiss ends up in an exaggerated make out session just to make it burn

it fails bc bruises on steves face 

it hurts a lot

it was a bad idea

you simply press your lips to every part that hurt, making sure to be gentle

bc y’all are a thing, you two become chaperones for the snowbaLL!!

*COUGH* nancy missed ouT *cough*

you start to like her tho bc she danced w dustin and he smiled so iTS COOL.

yknow how time after time and every breath you take came on in the bg for the sweet kids and they slow danced and shit??

haha september by earth, wind & fire comes on.

sure, its a bit slow dancey but you and steve do that move where peace signs move past your eyes I FORGOT WHAT ITS CALLED

y’all do a lil shimmy too i cackEL

the kids look on in horror bc y’all are basically the equivalent of grandparents grinding in the 21st century yikES

SPEAKING OF GRANDPARENTS

When the kids get to high school, you and steve carpool the kids every morning when its chilly and freezing and shit

you and steve have timetables for when the kids will have AV and shit

so you guys still wait for them outside the school

probably read some magazines on how to be a parent of 6 when eleven joins the harrington family.

parenting fails; all six kids somehow being able to be squeezed in the back of steves car

steve’s thoughts: a+ parentinG

you and steve give joyce and hopper a run for their money

speaking of my second ship, the four of you have saturday coffee mornings together at the byers’ to talk about your kids

jonathon would just think ‘wtf’????

steve would let you borrow his faberge all the time

sometimes he'd even do your hair for you

and he turns out to be pretty damn good at that too.

when you’d have a night w/o the kids, he’d take you to the movies and would pull that slick, nonchalant arm-over-shoulder move

you just snuggle more into his side

the kids are acc a few rows behind you

steve knows and so do you

y’all don't mind bc dustin eventually moves forward to take the bucket of popcorn off your hands

thats all i got for now and i hope you're as fed as me!!

[ilyuobts]

10000 Hours

concept: short series

genre: fluff (slight angst)

characters: jeon jungkook & original character (fem)

synopsis: he loves you more than a single taste of his favorite dish. he loves you more than his favorite pair of shoes. even if you find somebody else, his heart forever belongs to you.

more tags: bestfriends!au ; one-sided love ; alternative universe ; time-play

a/n: there you go the short series ended lol thanks for reading it if you ever come across this post + i not even sure if there was a lot of best friend stuff thats going on here, my mind tells me to write down y/n marrying her boyfriend or jungkook comforting y/n bc of a couple fight but my body said no so what can i do :( just check out the previous chapters here!

[Early 2016] [Summer 2017]

[September 2018] [Valentines 2019]

[July 2020]

Your birthday month. You never really knew what to expect. Sure it can be bags from your parents, cards from your colleagues, necklace and flowers from your boyfriend. But what you were never really expecting was the gift of your best friend. It's been two weeks and he hasn't talk to you yet. It worried you that the hardship from last year's Valentine's Day might have affected him, and he didn't even tell you. Or maybe something happened to him, and none of his parents contacted you. Your boyfriend knew your relationship with Jungkook. It was a really big turn when they also became close friends. Close. Friends. That was until you recieved a message from him on a late morning. On your birthday. It was an audio message. And it was Jungkook's voice, singing melodies to your ears.

[July 2020(2)]

You were intrigued by his honey voice. You knew he sang, but you never knew he'd do a cover, possibly a song for you. The song is pretty famous. Not to mention but he sang it in English. You knew little english but you clearly understood every word he said in the song. It was heartfelt. Coincidentally, as the song ended your boyfriend knocked at your door and opened to walk into your room. ”You’ve got a gift on your birthday.” You wondered who until the realization hits you. You ran to the living room immediately to find Jungkook standing in front of you. You hugged him instantly and he returned the favor. "Thank you, Kook." You said as he rubbed your back. "I'll always be here you know. I'll never replace you." He said, as the both of you savoured the moment, forgetting the reality for a little while. He promised to be with you for 10000 hours. But you'll always choose for him to stay for the rest of your life, even if he stayed as your closest friend.

a/n: HOLY SHATTTTTT THIS IS THE LONGEST STORY THAT I'VE EVER WRITTEN despite the fact that it says short series lol its overall a long story. ANYWAYS i finished this at 1:30am and i legit ended this already. btw about the namjoon story, im seriously not that good with angst but i'll see what i can do to post that too. I'll forever be whipped by jungkook himself. periodtt.

a/n again: yes this is also divided into two parts lol im bad at making stories

[philsdrill]

i was tagged by @faberge-back-egg - thank you! i havent done one of these in ages

Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people. 

1. last drink: ribena or cranberry and raspberry squash

2: last phone call: does skyping my parents the other day count?

3. last text message: i got a text from EE the other day

4. last song you listened to: Long Road to Hell by Avicii (idk i have my lifetime music collection on shuffle)

5. last time you cried: I honestly dont know?? it might have been last year

6. dated someone twice: never dated anyone so idk how i’d manage that

7. kissed someone and regretted it?: a little bit - like it was barely even a kiss tbh but it was my first and a result of truth or dare

8. been cheated on?: never been in a relationship so not applicable

9. lost someone special?: not really

10. been depressed?: maybe a little - not diagnosed though

11. gotten drunk and thrown up?: nopeity nope - i have a phobia of throwing up so i dont do drunk, or drunk people

fave colors

12. orange

13. green

14. purple

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends?: yep

16: fallen out of love?: nope, not been in love

17. laughed until you cried?: yep, did that the other day with my flatmate and his friend... it had something to do with lasagne cheesecake

18. found out someone was talking about you?: maybe idk

19. met someone who changed you?: i’ve been picking up phrases from some of my new friends at uni, so if that counts

20. found out who your friends are?: a little more than i had in september

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list?: yeah but she deleted me

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl?: pretty much all of them bc i only add people i know

23. do you have any pets?: nope

24. do you want to change your name?: I think so, but idk what to yet

25. what did you do for your last birthday?: got stuck in a traffic jam, moved into uni, regretted life by going out amongst a load of drunk people

26. What time did you wake up today? about 11am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night?: I’d just got out the shower then so idk

28. what is something you can’t wait for?: getting this week over with bc i have so much work to do

29. What are you listening to right now?: Walk This Way by MØ

30. have you ever talked to a person named tom?: yup, my dad and my cousins husband and an old internet friend and a guy in my art class last year

31. something that’s getting on your nerves?: people who eat my food and dont do their dishes (living in uni halls is tough)

32. most visited website: tumblr, youtube, google drive

33. hair color: light blonde

34. long or short hair: short

35. do you have a crush on someone?: i dont think so atm

36. what do you like about yourself?: my arms are pretty decent

37. want any piercings?: not really 

38. blood type: no idea

39. nickname(s): ive had weird ones in the past, but not really got any currently

40. relationship status: single

41. zodiac: virgo

42. pronouns: they/them (and i’d like to go by those irl but its hard)

43. fave tv shows: i dont watch tv

44. tattoos: none

45. right or left handed: right

46. ever had surgery?: nope

47. piercings?: none

48. sport: a little bit of badminton i guess

49. vacation: im going to amsterdam like next week but thats a study trip

50. trainers: yeah, what about them?

more general

51. eating: shortbread and dairy milk with oreos

52. drinking: cranberry and raspberry squash

53. i’m about to watch: im gonna go to bed

54. waiting for: my laptop to finish backing up to my external hard drive

55. want: life to be easier i guess

56. get married: maybe someday

57. career: designer probably (but i have a secret dream of being an author)

which is better:

58. hugs or kisses: hugs

59. lips or eyes: not sure

60. shorter or taller: no preference

61. older or younger: same age maybe?

62. nice arms or stomach: i dont mind

63. hookup or relationship: relationship

64. troublemaker or hesitant?: a little bit of both?

have you ever:

65. kissed a stranger: kinda - didn’t know her that well

66. drank hard liquor: yup, but not too much

67. lost glasses: no

68. turned someone down: only cos it was a joke

69. sex on first date: never been on a date and never had sex

70. broken someones heart: no

71. had your heart broken: not really

72. been arrested: nope

73. cried when someone died: yeah a little

74. fallen for a friend: yeah, and an asexual one too, but i think i’m pretty much over them

do you believe in: 

75. yourself: depends on the situation

76. miracles: havent really thought about it

77. love at first sight: not love, but attraction yeah

78. santa claus: no

79. kiss on a first date: if the moments right, then why not

80. angels: not really

other:

81. best friend’s name: idk who my best friend is atm

82. eye color: blue-ish (but maybe a little grey)

83. favorite movie: i dont really watch movies?

84. fave actor: dont really watch movies so idk

i tag: absolutely nobody bc i want to go to bed and i cant be bothered

[weed-hotel]

welp i got tagged by apollo slimeman @sunshinegoths and I Love Oversharing (even tho i dont even have an abt page lmao)

nicknames: i dont rly have any..... apollo calls me srinivasan bc i like to go by my last name bc Names Suck. my family calls me like silvertunes or silverbells

gender: nah

star sign: virgo not that anyone couldnt tell

height: like 5′7

time: 10:55 according to my laptop but thats wrong its actually 10:48. around when im finishing this its like 11:07

birthday: september 20 i just turned 17

favorite bands: idk like. pvris and fob probably i have rly garbage music taste

favorite solo artists: hozier... i cant remember any more. also porter robinson.

song stuck in my head: i dont have a song stuck in my head rn but. not to sound like A Kpop. all of yesterday i had pretty boy stuck in my head bc of apollo but i dont actually know the song so i just had the “PRETTY BOY” part running thru my head for like. hours. screw u apollo

last movie i watched: i started carol? but i was high and didnt have the attention span for it. last full movie was probably... it (2017)? maybe

last show i watched: master chef. or unhhhh depending on whether one counts Internet Shows.

when did i create my blog: i created it like 2013 or some shit but i didnt use it until like late 2015 maybe 2016

what do i post about: garbage?? idk man lesbian stuff/aesthetic/foxhole court/literally whatever i want this Is My Kingdom

last thing i googled: ...air quality + the ca fires tbh but also ronald reagan bc i wanted to see when he died and if it was painful

do i have any other blogs: nah i barely know how this website works tbh. i think at one point i was gonna make an aes sideblog but then i just stopped caring abt what goes on my main

do i get asks: nah. yall can feel free to but i just. dont very often

why i chose my url: its a quote from jean cocteau’s la belle et la bête (1946). its part of the commands one (belle, in the scene) uses to control la bêtes magic horse. his name is la magnifique.

following: 36

followers: 45

average hours of sleep: honestly like 8-11 and yet im still completely exhausted and low energy all the time so thats cool

favorite number: dont rly have one. maybe 9. its divisible and shit also i think my brother hated that number when he was younger so like. thats a bonus

instruments: used to play cello and that was awesome but i quit idr why. i also sing but i have kind of a shit range so i cant really do anything

what am i wearing: black jeans black tank top and a sweatshirt i stole from my moms boyfriend steve

dream job: i dont really know but tbh i was born white + upper middle class in america to educated parents so i mostly just want to use all that lottery of birth shit to help people. gonna do poli sci in college and hopefully will go to law school

dream trip: ive been vaguely planning (who knows if it will happen) a europe trip for a while. i rly want to start in eastern europe and do kind of a wwii based tour type thing but like. thats expensive as hell and my mom wont let me travel alone. not to be That Guy but my mom and her friend own a house in france + it looks like we might go next summer so that would be cool. also then i could drag apollo and we could Travel Europe like its the damn 1920s and we’re displaced ex pat writers and debutantes struggling to reconcile the atrocity of war with the infinite opportunity of youth

favorite food: ??? no idea it changes all the damn time. i lw really love low quality instant mac and cheese tho. like kraft or some shit

nationality: american. im p much the whitest person on earth too

favorite song right now: idk. i keep listening to we all float down here by four year strong and bodybag by hit the lights but i dont actually like/listen to those bands. also arsonists lullaby by hozier + shelter and years of war by porter robinson. oh i forgot him earlier im gonna add him to the solo artists question. also also whats it gonna be by shura

fuck me this got long. i dont really have anyone to tag but like. if we’re mutuals and u want to Overshare as well feel free to say i tagged u.

[lunarmoonacnh]

i was tagged by the amazing @unhugme

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST… 1. Drink: diet coke

2. Phone call: my mum

3. Text message: my best friend telling him goodnight 

4. Song you listened to: Michael Jackson - Pretty Young Thing bc it was on the radio 

5. Time you cried: like last night or the night before coz it was 2am and life

HAVE YOU EVER… 6. Dated someone twice: ive barely even dated someone once lmao

7. Been cheated on: yup...

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: no i dont think so

9. Lost someone special: yes, my great grandpa

10. Been depressed: yes, im currently seeing a therapist 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes! every time i drink unless its wine, for some reason wine doesnt make me sick. i think its because i once totally over did it on spirits and cider so not they just taste like the time i almost died and my body cant take it

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

12. grey

13. mint green

14. blush pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: yes, i started college so i made new irl friends because of that and i have also mad new internet friends through this blog 

16. Fallen out of love: kinda, depends how you look at it. i didnt know i had fallen out of love until the relationship had ended and i didnt feel as sad as i thought i would

17. Laughed until you cried: always, when i’m with my friends all i do is cry laugh 

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes, it happens a lot, sometimes negative and sometimes positive 

19. Met someone who changed you: yes, for good and bad. 

20. Found out who your true friends are: yes, once i left school i knew who my real friends are because they are the ones who kept in touch and the ones who didnt do other things that they knew would hurt me

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yess

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most, i dont know them all personally but i know of them all, no strangers for me

23. Do you have any pets: not at my house but we are getting our little puppy Sully in 14 days. i do have a cat and a dog at my dads house but i very rarely go visit 

24. Do you want to change your name: no, i used to want to when i was a kid because i used to get bullied because i had a ‘boys’ name (Billie) but now i like it because its unique  

25. What did you do for your last birthday: met my friends that i met on the internet that are now irl friends for a meal and to go shopping. we went for pizza and bowling and then shopping before they had to leave again:(

26. What time did you wake up: usually between 8am and 9am without an alarm 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was actually sleeping for once if not i was watching youtube videos

28. Name something you cannot wait for: to get my puppy and to meet up with and have a party with my internet/irl friends again in summer

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: like 15 minuets ago befroe i came upstairs to do this

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i could control my anxiety and depression or even not have it at all. i also wish my dad would pay me more attention and want to see me more because i miss him and its almost like he forgets i was his first kind before he mt his new wife

31. What are you listening to right now: the 1975

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i mean i have a cousin name Thomas? but never someone just called Tom without it being shortened 

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: life? no but like the fact that im not allowing myself to do the things i want to do out of pure fear

34. Most visited website: Tumblr of course... it is never off my browser 

35. Elementary: ive honestly never wanted to go back to a time in my life more than i want to go back to elementary/primary school 

36. High School: no thanks to that. i wish i could have been one of the people that called it the best years of their lives not 5 years of asshole bullying me 

37. College/university: im commenting on this as England college (16-18 year olds) and ive just dropped out of one part (sixth from) where i was taking 3 subjects Media studies and Film studies which i loved and will miss and Psychology wich i did love but wont miss because i couldnt do it and it made my anxiety sky rocket. in september i start a makeup course and i am so excieted to be a qualified makeup artist this time next year

38. Hair colour: mousy brown

39. Long or short hair: long, like almost to my butt long (yes its natural)

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes, but i could never pursue it bc he is my friend and i wouldnt want to ruin that. ive made that mistake with my ex.

41. What do you like about yourself: my eyes. they are grey and kinda ombre like they hae a really dark ring on the outside and they get lighter closer to my pupil

42. Piercings: yes, my first and second lobes on both ears, my helix and forward helix on my left ear. half way up my ear and my rook on my right ear and then my nose 

43. Blood type: i have no idea, do people actually know this?

44. Nickname: Bil and B although i dont like B (pronounced like Bee) but its what my cousins have called my since i was really small so it doesnt bother me that much with them 

45. Relationship status: extremely single

46. Zodiac sign: Aquarius 

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: pretty little liars, it has just finished and now i am re watching it to find clues about A that i missed 

49. Tattoos: no, but i have a couple planned 

50. Right or left hand: right

FIRST… 51. Surgery: teeth removed they are the only ops ive ever had and will ever have to have touch wood

52. Piercing: ears

54. Sport: i danced as a majorette does that count?

55. Vacation: i honestly have no idea, i think i went to Devon though (its a place in the UK) all i know is my first holiday was during 9/11 

56. Pair of trainers: probably like Nike Airs or something Adidas i have no idea 

57. Eating: i actually know this bc my older cousin fed me a wham bar (a british, i think, chewy candy thing) when i was 3 week old, so i could have died the ifrst time i hate lmao

58. Drinking: i was 14, i know i shouldnt have been drinking because my mum made me promise her i wouldnt, but i remember being so drunk (idk if it was real or faked tbh) on alcopop thats right 4% alcohol and i probs had like 3 

59. I’m about to: go get my cousins baby off his Nan so she can get his older brother from nursery

60. Listening to: idk if this is like asking the same as earlier? coz if so t]still the 1975

61. Waiting for: my friend to reply to me an tell me when he is taking me for coffee 

62. Want: my dog

63. Get married: probs idk

64. Career: i dont have one rn but hopefully a makeup artist

YOUR TYPE… 65. Hugs or kisses: rn hugs i need to hug someone while i fall to sleep so bad its been so long 

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller bc im also tall so i need someone taller than me (i dont need but i like a partner to be tall)

68. Older or younger: older, people y age are immature so any younger and i may as well spend my time with a 10 year old

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i dont mind tbh

71. Sensitive or loud: both? not too loud though ya girl has sensitive ears 

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship, im demisexual (it took me 17 years to figure that out) so hook ups aren’t my thing

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: it depends because i tend to be the cause of arguments and things because im honest but im not out there to cause trouble i just dont like to lie

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: no

75. Drank hard liquor?: yes, dont do it, its bad kids

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: yes, i lose my glasses all the goddamn time

77. Turned someone down: yes, i always feel bad but you cant force feelings

78. Sex on first date: nope

79. Broken someone’s heart: not that i know of, i doubt it though

80. Had your heart broken: yes, again not fun

81. Been arrested: nooo

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: not always

85. Miracles: yes, the baby i spoke about earlier? yeah hes my miracle, he was born with a new strain of meningitis, he has had 3 lots of brain surgery (at a week old) and the doctors said it was a very low chance he would survive. he did 3 times. his heart also stopped 3 times, again he is here. he also had multiple surgeries on his joints, we got told he wouldnt walk but here he is at 16 months running around like a crazy person and loving life with his older brother  

86. Love at first sight: i mean no, how can you fall in love with someone based off their face (no matter how many cute people you see on the street that you think you love, you probably dont)

87. Santa Claus: hes real in my house

88. Kiss on the first date: ive never been on a proper date so

89. Angels: yeah, i really love t believe in thse things because its cute

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: im not saying their name coz idk if thats a good idea tbh

91. Eye colour: greyyy

92. Favourite movie: Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland i just love his aesthetic and the story of Alice so put them together and you have a winner

ok i dont have 25 people to tag but i do tag @theflowerkingdom @kinkylildanny @creepyphantasia @imjustacanforallthephantrash and @dead-nightingale 

if you are reading this and you want to do it, go for it and just say i tagged you!

[chickenfetus]

softly whispers all for the flower ask

baby’s breath: 5 things you associate yourself with

chickens/eggs

lance lol

cereal….. everyone in class is stealing my trademark…

water

memes

bleeding heart: what makes you heart go mushy?

fuck,,, my fav characters?? and if i like someone then them i guess? but rn my heart belongs to 2d

bell flower: what’s the title of the song that makes you want to jump around out of joy?

mm it changes?? right now its either this cover (its in japanese) or this song (english but its a tad bit scream-y)

evening primrose: what’s your sleeping playlist (give me 5 songs)?

its all soundtracks from anime lmao,, 

from kimi no na wa’s soundtrack we have this, this and this 

from free!’s ost we have this song that killed every mh shipper lol 

and lastly, not from an anime ost, its shelter 

none of these actually help me fall asleep but i like them,, hell i dont think theres any song that can help me fall asleep

forget-me-not: who is your favorite blog who isn’t following you?

miyu//keis does this ensure it doesnt show up i hope it does i recently followed them while lurking in the mi//sawa tag lol theyre a good graphic person??? idk what theyre called;;

daffodil: what is one plant that you want to have but can never get?

the succulent things but i wouldnt be able to care for it bc i succ (perfect match)

calla lily: are you more of a sunny day or a rainy evening?

im a sunny day and rainy evening person… ok maybe sunny day if im not directly under the sun because i do enjoy the sun’s warmth rainy days are nice too,, only if im indoors.. rainy evening is perfect,, as long as no bugs can get it im safe and secure and chill

foxglove: what is your favorite color and in what shade?

blue!!!!! is sky blue a shade

lavender: what is something that you’ve always wanted to be/have/get but can never have?

a cat…..

love in a mist: what is the latest dream that you remember?

ok ive had dreams every night this week but now i cant re oh wait i do remember last night’s dream but only the lame part,, ok so i dreamt i had a 4* hina on bang dream..,,, i dreamt of another thing but i forgot :-( the 4* was indeed a dream though sad i havent gotten a single 4* yet lmao my luck is awesome oh but i did get a 5* and two 4*s on enstars so thats cool

daisy: what is your favorite flavor of cotton candy, ice cream, and juice?

cotton candy,, has flavours????? 

cookies and cream!!

i like water juice

painter’s palette: are you more of a singer, dancer, painter, or instrumentalist?

none??? i guess i paint when i have to although i rly wanna paint but im just a lazy fool

tulip: what is your most favorite make-up product? do you like it more natural, dark, or etc?

i dont use make up i am a youngin also what does the second question say i dont understand

waxflower: are you a bee or a butterfly person? a dog or a cat person?

neither lmao i have a fear of butterflies and bees… bees fear me i fear bees its mutual fear i like cats better but i like dogs too

sugarbush: do you have sweet tooth? if yes, what’s your favorite sweets? if no, why?

yes,,, i was gonna ask if it was even possible to have a favourite but then i remembered i do actually one although its more of a jellybean thing its poifull!!

sunflower: would you like to be a fairy or a mermaid?

mermaid bc i wanna live in the water

sweet pea: what would you like to call your significant other?

ok i just finished acca so naturally i still think abt it and jean called nino his ‘partner in crime’ so nnow i want one (a partner in crime i mean not a nino but thatd b cool 2)

sea lavender: can you swim? which strokes can you do?

yes i havent been in a pool in like 3 years oh boy,, breaststroke is the easiest lmao i forgot how to do any of the others

windflower: list 5 of your favorite blogs and explain why you like them

softshouyous, well i followed her bc she talks in her tags so thats one thing,, shes also super nice?? and helpful!!! a good friend and mutual!!!! im also comfy enough with her to like,, be sarcastic and we can shame each other freely.. without worrying abt offending one another,, theres also the fact that she understands me (ok this may b what i like 2 think and falen actually doesnt get me but its COOL) idk man i just love her,,, my bud whens our one year friendsivary i gotta search that up :0

(i almsot forgot to do the rest go me anyway) next is,, youhavebeentraceyd bc shes one of my first mutuals (sorry to the one who was actually my first) who i actually talked to!!! we both watch daiya and i didnt rly follow anyone who liked daiya previously and oh!! we had the same notps LOL i love tracey’s art and hell i think she dragged me to mochi hell kudos to u tracey idk i jsut enjoy her presence on my dash and get v excited to see her art on there we may not talk as much anymore but i still appreciate her a lot!!! bless u tracey and thank you!!! (for being alive i wish u all the best in life)

alpacarara i like her bc shes basically my tumble mum,, the mum i actually talk to and ask for help/advice she gives good advice too and shes v approachable,,,,,,, a v good friend,,,,,, u r appreciated by me,,,, yes........... shizu chan also appreciates ur existence momther,,,, thakn u 4 all youve done 2 helpme a good pal.... bless u,

clearly these r  getting hard bc my mind is goddamn empty rn but ill manage,, kacchan whose url is not spelt like that but thats ook bc one day it will be but now im starting to think i shouldnt leave it as that bc someones bound to stumble upon this extra post in the kacchan tag goddammit,, annYWay i like kacchan bc theyre friendly! and also v relatable,,,, theyre also kinda scary but thats ok bc its the good kind of scary idk man kacchan is just, great?? we dont talk but thats cool bc ik we’re still friends even if we dont have full blown convos!!!! id b 2 nervous 2 talk 2 them not bc theyre bad or anythign im just a ??? a bad conversationalist and also v lazy ok  thats besides the point i like kacchan bc kacchan is kacchan so??? theyre a good friend and we tag each other in things and i like that friendship its a good type of friendship,,, idkdkdk?? theyre just. chill not literally chill but just chill. this doesnt make sense anymre gomenasorry

lAST ONE uh hhhh every one of my mutual’s blogs why i like all of them?? bc theyre not problematic!! they post good content trademark and r lovely even if we dont talk much!!! i love everyone period

golden rod: are you more of a baker or a cook?

i am more of a Disaster in the kithcen

bloom: what is something that you would like to tell your children?

u guys shld b surprised yall even exist (if i am the True Parent)

if not,, then itd b u guys r with me and my partner in crime,, who is actually a real person,,,,,, be shocked idk im just trying t o make it clear that in the event i do get married id surprise myself bc me/?? have a good and lasting relationship????? impsossible 

peony: what is something that you wish your parents could’ve told you?

they shouldve told me to stick with cereal

prairie gentian: do you have a significant other?

doe s lance count

september flower: are you more of a sunshine or sunset person?

was this supposed 2 say sunrise,,,, anyway sunrise i guess bc im a morning person (when i WILLINGLy wake up by myself) on hot ass days sunset bc then i wont b sweating 24/7

bird of paradise: do you wake up early? do you sleep early?

yEAH LOL i wake up early on weekends bc i want to and i have to wake up early on weekdays so,,, i prefer not to sleep later than 12am bc i am Fear and in the event that i do sleep later than 12 its bc im talkin 2 a friend i like a lot

marigold: what’s your favorite tea?

water tea english breakfast,, havent had that in awhile tho

peruvian lily: what are the names of your pets?

i have non

hyacinth: do you name your plants?

i have nnone but i dont even nickname my pkmn so 

lilac: would you rather sleep and be cozy or hang out with your friends?

depends? on the tme??? if its late at night id rather b asleep and cozy if its in the day then maybe.. .. .

poppy: do you like to dip your fries or do you like it as is?

i like all of my food plain and dry (cereal) unless its noodles,, i need my noodles iin soup

dandelion: any special talent that you have?

drinking water

[fluffi]

a god’s menu hater?! 😾 jk, i understand. it wasn’t something i liked at first too. then it kept popping up as an ad before left and right by svt played (i was streaming it at the time) but i couldn’t bring myself to skip it? then i couldn’t stop singing it. i actually recall streaming both mvs during finals week instead of studying 😅

this is your sign to dive into wayv but ofc take your time. they’ll always be there if you need a good laugh. and i hope i’ll get into cpop someday, feels like i’m missing out on good music. 😕

shotaro really is up there huh? hope sm revives the nct dance channel and give the man a platform to post on. also have you watched shotaro’s relay cam episode?

yep it’s probably because of the sexual connotation : D i wanna go back to the time when ice cream was just ice cream. and ice cream cake gave me diarrhea once 😭 i still love it but i’m always hesitant bc there’s the slim chance i might suffer through that whole thing again.

i, too, abandon my ult groups when i start stanning new ones. but then again, my ults are an active bunch. with chan going live every week and an nct unit coming back every other month, it’s hard to totally get distant 😂 i used to not watch variety shows because my attention span couldn’t handle it 🤣 also ik you mentioned the groups that you stanned before but who are your ults? (but i think it’s listed somewhere on your blog tho i’ll check it out after i send this)

maybe they don’t read because these are lengthyyyyyy but if they do then 😃🤚🏼AAAAAAA i look forward to these exchanges too úwù

ah yes. those three bring in a lot of fans 🤣 maybe thats why sm put them in the first unit that promoted for nct 2020. strategy worked tho, felt the fandom grow bigger. shotaro edits devastate me whenever they pop up on the tl but i don’t see them often. and come to think of it, i have never seen a soft johnny edit.

spicy genres 😭 i am definitely NOT worthy of that title. but if there’s a specific type of nct fic that you would want to read, i might be able to give you recommendations. oh why would you want to wipe them ☹️☹️ save a copy somewhere at least, you might regret completely erasing them.

and SEUNGMIN. the biggest threat to my loyalty to bang chan. that man just devastates me every. single. time. something about him just makes me go all soft 😔 i had a whole rollercoaster seungmin phase last december bc i subscribed to his bubble and he was active as hell EXCEPT on christmas week. and i got sad bc he didn’t send a greeting..? care to share how it became seungmin for you?

also i have a finished seungmin drabble jailed in my docs based on this devastating gif. want me to tag you when i drop it? 🤣

also yes that show 😭 i watched that bc i missed dream a lot but i haven’t got around to finishing it. i hope you’re enjoying it tho! they truly are a hilarious bunch. i saw a twt abt them though. that dream is a group of 20-year olds with 35 years of experience 🤣 they aren’t 4th gen but their ages make it seem like they are.

ah repetition both made us fall for gods menu and its glory. i still cant believe it didnt get one single win :( i personally preferred gods menu over back door but at least back door's music wins gave its sibling some justice. ugh same, i tend to stream mvs while studying but i usually end up watching the mv and the people in it instead haha.

also yes! get into cpop. i personally don't find their '4th gen' music (basically the new generation of kpop knockoffs) good because of its horrendous english grammar, but their music isn't mind blowing or anything anyways. i would recommend some ballads though, chinese ballads will remain superior forever.shotaro supremacy! i fell for him before i even started stanning nct, that says so much. and yes, ive watched his relay cam and fan cams multiple times, way before i stanned too haha. hes honestly so likeable.

lmao are you lactose intolerant? /g ice cream doesnt do much to me besides make me feel bloated. nowadays i prefer smoothies over it.

speaking of nct units coming back and skz, hot sauce just happened but we already have a 127 drop. i didnt think id see hyuck and mork in there D': give them a break sm. once again, title track isnt my taste at all, but maybe ill grow to like it after a few listens. ive surprisingly become a fan of hot sauce though. the hook and jaemins intro are super addicitng. 

stray kids world domination too! i didnt watch kingdom because im not available during the airing time but i streamed and looked at their performances and i have to say, no personal bias or anything, skz deserved that win :3 its all in good fun though, atz and tbz caught my eye and i might try getting into them in the near future hehe.

my ults are izone, skz, txt and enha! (i think you probably saw them already haha). my bias ults are jake and wonyoung. to be honest, with the amount of dream content im consuming daily, i think they might become one of my ults soon. argh i really want to write for them though.

no no your fics look so unique and spicy grrr. im really excited to read them! theyre different from typical fanfiction and im a sucker for that. hmm for recommendations, honestly anything sfw and fluffy is fine, i tend to love writing angst but im a sucker for reading fluff. ive been binging on lvdsc's works actually, so amazing argh. as for my works, ill probably private them...or move blogs? im still thinking about it.

skz bubbles! ah theyre always so fun on the app, did seungmin say anything interesting? as for how he became my bias, the memory's hazy but i think it was because i was looking at those september celebration videos (for han, seungmin and lix all together (?)) and just kind of fell for his gahs and his vlives. seungmin vlives are always so fun and relaxing, i like to do homework to them. especially that one vlive where he sang for 4 hours, that just made me fall in love with him more.

based on that gif, im assuming that the drabble is about nose booping? which i absolutely LOVE! YES! in fact, tag me in anything seungmin. anything. literally anything. that boy is my secret ult lmao.