#its weird because ive only rlly seen ppl care about it recently???

[squidkidnerd]

Why is everyone so hung up on NoA's use of the word "inkling????" I've seen so many posts lately that are like "it doesn't make sense that the squid people are called inklings since octolings use ink too so it should be a general term and the squid people should be called squidlings!!!" and like. Yeah. That's true I guess. I dunno, I never really particularly cared about it that much, it's kind of a nitpick. And like—something about "squidling" as a word feels super weird and awkward to me and I don't entirely know why? I think it has something to do with the consonants? Or maybe it's my imagination, who knows. Either way I don't entirely get why people have been getting so hung up on it lately.

[protectmarkjin]

how do you feel about all he people turning against jb and calling him annoying because he stated that he liked girls when a male fans said he loves him? i honestly don't find it as a very big deal tbh especially because he's from a more conservative country and they have different social expectation, and i've lived in those environments. but idk i guess i can understand how others feel about his rash comments and undermining the male fans efforts.

sorry this got a bit long so i put a keep reading thing lmao

i mean i dont know or can decide what people get offended or not by and ive seen a lot of different reactions to what jb has said recently and previously; some don’t see it as a big deal, some do have a problem with it but can see past it and some have a really big problem with it and can’t see past it and all of those people are entitled to their opinions and feelings about it. personally, i feel weird when jb says things like this, i dont understand why he feels the need to remind us numerous times that he’s straight when he gets associated with men in a more than platonic way like just bc he hugs youngjae or smth im not gonna instantly forget every time he’s said he’s straight? and i feel bad for and can see how the male fans felt shut down and disappointed by what he said. ive seen a reason that jb says these things and its bc he’s “uncomfortable with shipping/people forcing a sexuality/relationship on him” and, honestly, i don’t buy that bc shipping is an integral part of kpop fandom and, although i know some shippers can take it way too far and be incredibly invasive, all idols are prepped for that and even encourage the concept of it like jb is no stranger to fanservice so if he was uncomfortable with it then he would stop indulging it but he doesn’t so idk i kind of see through that reason tbh. people have also said that its a mistranslation or that korean doesnt like translate totally accurately over to english yknow theres like phrases n stuff in korean that dont come across the same way in english n yea i get that but like… once we get to the 4th or 5th time of this happening it can’t be translations every time yknow? and ive seen people bring up like the society he grew up in and also his dad and i’m sure both have factored into his views and beliefs etc but he’s also a grown man who makes his own decisions and has his own beliefs like he is the only one in the group who gets this weird and defensive and has a problem when people bring up him with men and being more than platonic or friendly with them and it is coming across to some people that he has a fragile masculinity or, in the worst of cases, it has come across to some as homophobic look idk if i can make a certain decision on what he means from these different incidents but what i do know is every time something like this happens it makes me feel weird and uncomfortable and i, and others who feel that way, are entitled to that yknow im not planning on unstanning got7 any time soon and i cant switch off how much i care abt jaebum and have done for the past like 5 years but sometimes you may not rlly know a person and their beliefs so if we could just have an adult, mature conversation abt it instead of tearing each other apart or calling ppl fake stans or throwing “got6″ around every time this gets brought up then maybe we could get somewhere but we all saw with jackson what happens when fans tried to educate him so i rlly dont know sorry my thoughts are all over the place and i tried to approach this as like neutral and balanced as possible but then show my take as well i hope this helps!

[mave-riq]

 writing this from a weird place bceuz  a classsmate freidn made art for me????????? SUPER momentarily happy B U  t---------

I have been. SO scared to post art recently its been a weigh on my conscious in the background of everything else that makes me anxious and I hate it

Im scared of MULTIPLE things: Im scared of posting OC’s and nobody liking them besides me friends (whos support I SHOULD be putting above this tbh) EVEN tho thats where my “Muse” is right now, Im scared of updating my art blog and people remembering they followed me like “oh yeah i forgot about this blog, i dont rlly care for it anymore tho” and leaving, IM scared of posting art without answering ask first thing and ppl getting angry that Im still active and not responding, Im angry about answering asks and driving ppl away becuz my blog is now becoming a text archive of conversations, IM afraid of all those ppl above having ALREADY left because i took to long to answer. Im afraid of dissapointing all the people that came for inuyasha/persona/mass effect/x-men/soul eater hoping for more content and getting NOT what they wanted and leaving in mass. IM afraid of getting another ask telling me someones stolen my art, im afraid of ppl leaving ebcuz i put water marks on everything now and they find it both narcissistic and distracting and ugly.

I feel like I over-stayed my welcome at this platform, that I am no longer relevant that I have nothing new to give that ppl havent seen before, I feel like I no longer have the power to inspire people, that ppl can sense my art staling and will leave by the hundreds till im back at nothing all over again. I feel like my art was never interesting to begin with and that i only massed the audience I have becuz i was making fanart for so, so long. And now that I want to explore my own worlds again, people have grown tired of me and dont find my work worth their time.

Its gotten so bad i have to hid the follower number but even then i find myself checking it on my phone only to be sent into a depressive episode becuz it went one number down. (meanwhile my classmates all have active art accounts with an exceptional amount of ppl following them)

In my mind, if my art blog isnt successful enough RIGHT NOW--the entirety of my career in the future will never be successful. I have to reach that success NOW to build a foundation I can stand on when I enter the professional field. If I go in without it, I might never make the stuff I wanna make. Watching the number go down is like simultaneously watching future me get turned down job after job and working as a back up artist for other peoples projects longer and longer until Im old and Ive never made the stories ive been wanting to tell for YEARS.

In the end, im so terrified of rejection-ANY KIND, AT ANY CAPACITY-that I feel myself slowly abandoning this thing ive put so much work into since community college, 4 years ago. Meanwhile, everyone else seems to be moving up and up and up and im getting left behind.

The only way to get over it is to just. Not care and post whatever the fuck I want, like i always planned to but im SO afraid of losing this progress--like ive been playing a video game and i havent saved since I started playing it. That Ill wake up one morning after I took a chance and its all gone.

And i know how Not True and Stupid ALL of this is, but it doesnt make it FEEL any less distressing--in fact it probably makes it even more so.

A small smidge of hope and joy through this dark fog of this obsession I have is that my classmates genuinely seem to like me and my work, I do have that validation. But its tinged by this weighing feeling that im not good enough. That im mediocre.