#ive actually started this drawing months ago traditionally

[fairywinds]

i will be a hero!

[mistilteinn-magolor]

hey guys do you wanna see old doodles that range from 6 months to a year old?? no?? well sucks to be you i guess

under the cut we fly

we got:

the first time i drew taranza over a year ago!! also WOW i could not draw magolor- tho tbh i still like the ranza except for a few things lol

return to dreamland 11th anniversary art! traditionally bc i didnt trust myself to finish a whole digital drawing in a day lmao

an iono!! actually this is the best iono ive ever drawn i think... SHES SO HARD TO DRAW HELP

stuff went down in a gc with irl friends... yeah

susie tells penny that her name is a currency

insert cash or select payment type

VERY old but also no context. Except that i found a comic by @/daily-magolor where magolor accidentally said two things at once

yes i know the proportions fell off a microwave and died help-

umm also old but me and my mom were watching tangled and uh. i started making the characters into kirby/pokemon ones... this is based on that scene in the ugly duckling where rapunzels hair is like going through many mens hands or something

n from pokemon was rapunzel (it really fits haha-), magolor was flynn i mean eugene for some reason?? oh yeah because they both stole crowns- and dmk is no specific dude haha

um no context from an old comic except its the best comic ive ever made

also yes it was mainly kirby fhghfgfgf this was when i was going from pokemon brainrot to kirby brainrot haha

this is one of my favorite things ive ever drawn. enjoy

annnnnd last but not least a 2 imager yay!! tbh i dont even remember the context for this one...

ghetsis bad dad

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

9, 14, 15? ✨

Thank you for the Asks!

9. Write a recommendation of someone else's fic you enjoyed!

@theredheadedcaptain finished her long fic Celestial Storms almost exactly 1 year ago. This was the story that made me first fall in love with her story telling.

It's a beautiful post Endgame J/C romance with a robust ensemble cast (and some thoroughly engaging original characters!) It follows J/C through a new mission, an encounter with old enemies, and introduces a well handled interpersonal conflict that speaks to class tensions between former Maquis and other edge-of-the-Federation characters and the Earth-centric human Starfleet characters. In short I loved everything about it. The action and adventure, the political undertones and social commentary and the romance - omg the romance! It is a can't miss long fic!

14. Is there a character or ship you were so sure you would never write/draw but now you've changed your mind?

I struggled conceptualizing Seven of Nine when I first started writing Voyager fic. She seemed like a canonical mess of contradictions - first because of how the costuming objectified her in an extremely uncomfortable way - and then how the narrative really didnt deal well with how it must have felt being sexualized - by crewmates and her doctor and aliens - having just barely left the borg where her body was something that was probably only conceptualized in strictly functional terms (its own kind of objectification). All of her voyager era romance plotlines really squicked me for a long time (dont let me fall into my Doctor/Seven rant 😆)

And then two things happened.

(1) Picard came out and Seven had a queer romantic arc with Raffi.

(2) I met my wife, who had been a neurodivergent closeted teen in a much more social-norms-concious community than I'd grown up in, talking to me about how shed intensely studied and tried to emulate traditionally feminine things and had boyfriends as a way to "fit in" without actually knowing how it was supposed to feel

And suddenly a lot of things that never used to click with me about Seven - confusion about attraction and dating and insistence on performing heteronormatic romantic gestures as if dating was some essential part of being an individual - all of those offputting sexist storylines from the Voyager era looked a lot more like queer and neurodivergent coded behaviors.

And then Seven became a lot more intriguing and understandable to me on rewatches (Queer and Neurodiverent being neither of the things the original 90s character creators probably indented when they stuck her in the catsuit and had the Doctor give her social lessons)  And shes now become a lot more fun to write now that I have an interpretation of her that jives with me.

15. Have you noticed your style change over time?

I dont know if i could pin point any one thing. but its like... I enjoy my own writing a lot more in the past 3-4 years than I did before. i feel more confident about it. A lot of that was rebuilding a writing community around me on discord (losing the in person one I had in college had me floundering for a while) and the second part was finding a planning process that worked for me - ive become a lot more confident that i can outline an idea, put it in a drawer and know that i can pick it up a few weeks or months later and have a solid blueprint for how to write that story.

Ive also gotten more concise and more conscious of a story's scope (i can finish a long fic in about 80-90k rather than 200k). And ive also gotten a lot more comfortable with the creative ebb and flow i tend to go through. just generally a lot more confident and comfortable with my craft. i know thats not the specific question but its definitely had a positive impact on my overall storytelling too.

[tangy-soup]

Hii lookie! Even though I only made like 4 fully rendered pieces this year, I'm happy with what I've done this year!

(For months where I dont't have fully rendered finished pieces I put in the next closest thing I have that month.)

Ramble under the cut where I try to go over each month

General overview:

Funny thing I've noticed is how often I used cool tones this year bc my older art (that ive never shown from like 2 years ago) was characterized by warm tones

Even though I work through fully rendered pieces super slowly and barely come out of the year with any, I'm super proud of my progress this year! I've learnt and grown a lot as an artist and have also realized my potential. With that though also comes my fear of not being able to top what I've done, which I'm trying to work on! My issue is I tend to produce a lot of art when feeling highly inspired by a media, and right now I don't exactly feel the same kind of spontaneous and passionate inspiration as I did during the year. I'm definitely dealing with some sort of mental block right now when it comes to digital art and I'm hoping to get through that soon because I miss the process of making something I love through drawing!!

January:

honestly thought the boatem piece was done last year so I was surprised to find it in my January files! This piece was kind of a turning point for my art as it was my first more complex pieces (i had not previously done a piece w more than 1 character in it really). It was a lot of work and I was very nervous about it but I'm quite proud of what I was able to do!

Late january is also when i started sketching out the ethubs piece actually (i work slow)!

February:

I didn't actually do a ton of art this month, as I tend to take a break and slow down right after finishing a piece. At this point I was very keen on doing pose studies traditionally. I posted some of these and most of them were desert duo.

This month i started to really figure out my dnd character Ethe's main design as our campaign was starting. So, i did a portrait of her for that. The rest of February was working on ethubs and studying how to paint grass and clouds and just sketching here and there. I think desert duo brain rot was strongest this month

March:

March was also a mix of pose studies and random sketches and FINALLY FINISHING ETHUBS. I was also doing some art for dnd ^_^

April:

I finished the dragonborn npc centered dnd piece this month, and also began sketching out the cleo piece. In between working on cleo I did some joe art including an animatic featuring the wordle boarder and the sketch for biblically accurate joe :D

May:

Pretty much anytime i had procreate open in may I was working on Cleo. This is the most ambitious art project I have taken on and I wasn't sure if I was able to make it how I wanted, so I was kind of slow and on and off with it. I ended up putting it down towards the end of the month and did some more personal illustrations

June:

Big month for my dnd blorbos tbh! I introduced a sister for Ethe and was working on her design and their interactions. I also got a bigger sketchbook this month and did a bunch of traditional studies. I finished the flats for cleo this month and took a break so most of the art I did were sketches

July:

I was in the home stretch for cleo and with the help of my friends telling me to finish it i finally pushed through and finished it. I couldnt be happier w the results!! it's one of my proudest pieces this year and I put in so much work for it. But after I finished it i took a huge break from mcyt art and focused on dnd art yet again.

August:

My work for the multidimensional big bang started this month!! I worked out the character design early august and had a sketch for the full piece by the end of the month. In the meantime I was actually working on a cat painting I never posted... maybe I'll post it in an end of year art dump

September:

This month was all about the big bang piece. I had so much fun doing it and am super proud of the finished product. Im especially happy with the composition and inclusion of the background characters!!

October:

Again. Major break from making full pieces after finishing a huge one last month. I think I spent more of my creative energy elsewhere like my writing. Also school started again and I had moved apartments and there was a lot of irl stuff preventing me from drawing. I did try to do traditional studies if I could

November:

Kind of a dead month for drawing. Super busy w school, chugging my way through Ethe's ref sheet i started months ago.

December:

Literally haven't drawn anything new besides a new years illustration for greeting cards. I picked up crocheting again and have been spending a lot of creative energy on that instead, but to keep my drawing going I've been doing more figure studies in my sketch book i guess!

[dethl]

“why does this year feel SO FUCKING LONG”

realizes first semester of freshman year was 2017

“what”

realizes i graduated last year

“no slow down”

realizes that despite feeling like one long year, i experienced two full years without being fully aware of it

“h-”

really though just the past year has been such a fucking whirlwind of change for me. i finally realized the main reason behind my life feeling like it was in shambles growing up was due almost entirely to a toxic and emotionally abusive family in a falling apart trailer in a town that no one has ever heard of. i start to disconnect from them and attempt to gain independence and i notice i actually feel alive. 

2016-2017 was so awful for me mentally, that i physically was losing the ability to feel - pain, pressure, texture. i was shut down almost entirely and really felt like a shell of a person, i had no will to live and had to actually search for reasons to keep myself alive. eating was hard, talking was hard, forming a cohesive thought was hard without my mind hammering how useless i was

2018 was hard for the first half of it, first breakup with an emotionally abusive ex that formed our relationship almost entirely around me being dependent on him made finding my direction in life again difficult. very difficult. i was definitely in a trance-like state for a couple months, until i started moving myself back in to friend groups i walled myself off from because my ex made me feel like i couldnt talk to anyone else. and i think that was one of the best things i could have done for myself in hindsight

i noticed i was able to talk more, in text and in person, without struggling to find the words. i wasnt trailing off or finding words choked back in my throat while i struggled to initiate conversation as much, or now, at all.

i was able to look in the mirror without being repulsed at my appearance, something that i was unable to do for most of my life without feeling literally sick to my stomach. i started expressing myself more to how i see fit

 i dyed my hair for the first time in february and while it looked fucking awful and i honestly hated it, it was the first step i needed towards finding who i really was. i forced myself to present as masculine throughout high school because i felt i was too ugly to be seen as a chick (this isnt a knock against transgender people, of course. i just simply realized i wasnt any happier personally and i was just confusing a lifetime of really complex issues. but this is a long topic so ill cut it here. in short im probably likely nb, if anything, instead of a trans male or cis female). i allowed myself to experiment more with things traditionally seen as feminine, like makeup and jewelry and the types of clothes i wore. and i felt more confident doing so. prior to this i just didnt feel like i deserved these things

in the summer i started getting closer to my eldest sister, and i got my first break from my parents for the first time since fourth grade - a decade ago. i spent two weeks away from home, mostly by myself most of the day. and i realized i finally got a chance to feel relaxed, even happy. but i couldnt figure out why necessarily

fall came. i decided to try a crack at finally taking all graphic design/art classes, and i realized i was absolutely miserable. i hated every fucking assignment except for one class. but the difference between this and the years before? i was feeling. i got a bit uhh.. extremely shoddy with my performance (whoops failing classes), and in doing this i realized that this wasnt the path i was meant to be on. art was becoming a chore for me starting about 2015, and up until this point. i wasnt growing an audience despite forcing myself to draw every day, and this was killing me because i thought i was doomed to failure, i never considered any other options except doing art

 but in november, i set up a tour for a college i was between going to initially, alongside the one i ended up going to. and i was ecstatic about what the future could hold for me for literally the first time in my life - i wanted to go into cybersecurity. and with the chains lifted, doing art just for myself and my friends became fun. my audience didnt matter anymore, and my mindset began to shift from “please look at this i dont want to fail” to “hey check this thing out i made its fucking awesome”. i had confidence in my work. this confidence carried me to be able to do semiregular streaming on twitch, something i dreamt of doing for the past three or four years

somewhere around this point, i finally opened up about trauma thats been plaguing me since i was four years old, trauma so bad i literally had flashbacks to the point i couldnt sleep at night for the past ten years. the flashbacks stopped. i stopped hating myself for something i had no control over. i felt like myself for the first time

and i sit here now as the winter begins and the year comes to a close, and i feel more like myself than i ever have before in the 20 years ive been alive. obviously theres a lot more i could go into, this doesnt even include the rabbithole that is my sexuality. but good lord