#ive also had a lot less time to draw and back during august i was a bit burnt out from drawing so much during artfight

[sonknuxadow]

idk wanted to draw werehog and tails together. also Hi its been like 50 years since ive last posted art hasnt it

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

Ive never really understood the hype surrounding Taylor Swift - I mean, I like some of her songs, but im not big on modern pop music so generally she just doesn’t really click for me. But I find it interesting that theres quite a few of Beatles/Swift blogs - like, they should have very little in common given that they’re from completely different eras and all, but somehow people seem to find a lot of semblance between the two. << and thats not me shitting on any of these blogs btw! Hope I don’t come off as rude or condescending there <3

Anyway, I was just wondering what got you into Taylor Swift? (I think ive read your post on how you got into the Beatles)

Hi, anon! Don't worry, I don't think you're rude or condescending! I agree they don't have too much in common and I don't really like their music for the same reasons.* I do have a playlist of Paul songs that have similar vibes to Taylor songs but it's mostly lyric-based. (Also the Beatles For Sale songs actually have quite the Taylor-tinge because Paul and John were not immune to Country Music)

I saw @stewy say once that a possible reason there are a good handful of us Swiftie-Beatle People on here is the appeal of a vast discography, which I agree with. If you have an artist/group with 200ish songs, it's just really fun to really dive into their work and explore all the facets. I also think: we're talking about the most popular band of all time and one of the highest-selling artists of the 21st century. They have a lot of fans so there's bound to be overlap, regardless of musical differences.

Moving on to your question: Getting into Taylor was an extremely personal experience for me and so my explanation is probably going to be kind of long so I'll put it under a read more.

It was spring-summer 2014, I was 15. I had heard the more popular songs of hers starting with Love Story and enjoyed pretty much all of them (I always found her hopelessly romantic point of view fascinating) but before I got a Spotify account in 2013 it was difficult in general for me to really get into an artists' entire discography so most of her songs had flown under my radar.

At the time, I was in this very weird sort of codependent online friendship with this girl who was basically my first real best friend and my first more or less crush. She was very depressed and I was very much in an I Could Fix Her™ mood, except that I obviously couldn't fix her and it made me feel like I wasn't enough and she had begun pulling more and more away from me and not replying to my messages and it was simply driving me insane. I consider it the saddest period in my life.

at some point during this period, I started trying to connect with other people (all online, I didn't know how to talk seriously to anyone IRL) and explaining the issues I'd been having, and one of the people who brought me joy and whom I actually felt not drained talking to was a huge swiftie. And IDK the fact that she loved Taylor and the fact that talking to her made my life better (and also the fact that I liked all the Taylor songs I knew at that point) just made me decide to give her a listen. And I think that whole "large discography discovery" phenomenon really helped me at the time (funny, because her discography has doubled since then). It gave me something new to focus on; there were just so many songs to discover, all telling such rich stories. I also have always loved bridges, they are almost always my favourite part of a song. And Taylor, god-bless her, loves them too and always puts her ALL in them. Like pretty much every bridge of hers brings the song to the next level, and even a lot of her songs I don't adore tend to have great bridges (Stay Stay Stay and Paper Rings come to mind). I think one of her most underrated qualities is how good she is at song structure and really building up an entire musical journey with a song. She also almost always adds cool ad-libs in her second and third choruses to keep the songs interesting and dynamic (or at least since she's gone pop). Anyways, back to the story: Then Taylor announced 1989 as her next album and released Shake It Off, and it was just like this great happy thing for me to look forward to, when I had very little keeping me going. The era was promoting a lot of happiness which in hindsight was slightly fabricated and it was just a really great thing for me to latch onto.

At the same time I was coming to realize that I was gonna have to pull away completely from my friend and all those break-up songs just… Hit, y'know? Like, some people seem to think Taylor's a one-trick pony because she likes to write break-up songs but to me, break-ups are just like this moment where you as a human can potentially feel every single emotion, and Taylor's songs have covered every facet of the concept. Here are some songs I remember from that period, that all meant a lot to me at the time because they explained my own pain to me so well:

Haunted, for the absolute terror you feel in the first moments you realize someone is probably gonna leave you. Come on, come on / Don't leave me like this / I thought I had you figured out / Something's gone terribly wrong / You're all I wanted.

I Almost Do, for the inner turmoil you feel when you know you have to stay away from someone for your own good but you really, really have to resist just running back to that person. We've made quite a mess, Babe / It's probably better off this way / And I confess, Babe / In my dreams you're touching my face / And asking me if I wanna try again / With you / And I almost do.

Last Kiss, for that absolute sadness that comes simply with remembering everything that was good and not comprehending how it could've possibly ended. I still remember / The look on your face / Lit through the darkness / At 1:58 / Words that you whispered / For just us to know / You told me you loved me / So why did you go / Away?

Forever and Always, for that feeling of desperately wanting to hold on to what you still have but at the same time realizing it probably isn't going to last and having no idea how to fix it, plus feeling like the other person doesn't even care. So here's to everything / Coming down to nothing / Here's to silence / That cuts me to the core / Where is this going? / Thought I knew for a minute / But I don't anymore.

Dear John, my all-time favourite song, for that moment you find clarity and realize that you deserved better and that you were headed in an extremely dark direction because of this other person. [DISCLAIMER: my friend did NOT abuse me nor did we have some inappropriate age difference. But the way she would ignore me and her general moodiness really affected my own mental health and self-worth problems] You paint me a blue sky / And go back and turn it to rain / And I lived in your chess games / But you changed the rules every day / Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone / Tonight / Well I stopped picking up / And this song is to let you know why.

(She's covered more aspects of break-ups in other songs [cheating, divorce, feeling awkward around your ex amongst others], these are just the ones I remember being really important to me when I was first getting into her)

She really helped me feel a lot less alone during one of my loneliest periods and I really can't thank her enough for that. Soon after this, I started crushing on a girl in my class and Taylor's love songs started to take on a new meaning for me as well.

What's crazy to me is, when she went on hiatus for a few years, a part of me thought maybe I'd grown out of her and no longer had much in common with her, but when reputation came out I was pulled right back into my love for her as a person and musician and then when Lover came out I found that she was still explaining feelings to me better than I ever could (specifically with the songs The Archer and Cornelia Street). And now with folklore and evermore she's simply absolutely perfected her story-telling and I find myself deeply moved even by the songs I don't directly relate to. I feel like she has this amazing ability to find the absolute truth in the specific. I've never had a summer romance with someone who already had a girlfriend and mostly wanted to go back to her, and yet the bridge of august feels so real to me, y'know?

Back when we were still changin' for the better Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Cancel plans just in case you'd call And say, "Meet me behind the mall" So much for summer love and saying "us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose

It's hard to explain but looking at this, like it's so much more than the story it's telling. It's talking about how when you're young you really need so little to feel satisfied; how sometimes the idea of someone maybe spending time with you is better than actually doing things with other people; and how if someone using you without much thought can make you feel like you're not even entitled to grieve what you lost. Sorry. I'll stop. Don't want to go insane.

So, all of this is very personal and unique to me, but I think really the main thing that draws me to her is how vulnerable and honest she is about emotions, how eloquently she can explain the pain of being alive to me. Some people think she isn't the strongest singer, but I think, much like John actually, one of her greatest assets is how good she is at projecting emotion. The song happiness is a song I think has some lyrically weak moments but her vocal performance on it is so raw and devastating that every single line works even when, looking at it on paper, it feels like it shouldn't.

Hope this rambling made sense to you, lmao?? I love talking about Taylor though so thanks for the ask! Also very open to giving song recs if you do want to check her out more but I won't unless solicited to lmao *Sort of off-topic but I do think there's a relation between my fascination with the Beatles' history and my love for a great break-up song. I like pain I guess :)

[angelbabymommy]

Where do I begin? How do I tell this story? I guess the only way I know how.

I am 32 years old, I have carried and birthed 5 beautiful babies into this world, children I am thankful for each day, even more so now. Children I am blessed to hug, laugh with, make memories, and love always.

March 7, 2020 I gave birth to my fifth child. My partner and I both agreed we didn’t want another child for some time and I made the decision to use birth control. I was using the Xulane birth control patch. All was well.

In June 2020 I realized I hadn’t started a period. Surely I wasn’t pregnant but just to be safe we took a test, imagine our surprise to see two lines! Wait! What just happened!?!

It was overwhelming. We were scared. But we accepted it. My partner and I were warming up to the idea of another baby to adore. I found a midwife, I found a hospital that would allow me to have the water birth I always dreamed of having. I was going to stay team green and have my partner announce the gender of our baby to me at birth. I also had decided this would be my last baby for good. I began to envision this life with this child. I felt strongly and deeply in my heart it was a little girl. My heart was overjoyed.

July 14, 2020 we had our first ultrasound scan. We measured 6 weeks! Our baby had a heartbeat, 108 bpm. Everything looked normal. They scheduled us for a follow up scan for two weeks later. During those two weeks I experienced some nausea, my tests were still blazing positive. I craved foods and I was tired. But I was happy.

July 31, 2020 I should have been 8 weeks 3 days. We would see an even bigger baby with an even stronger heartbeat! I couldn’t wait, I had looked forward to this day so much. But when we did the scan my heart sunk. I am not an expert by no means but I’ve had enough babies and scans to know what we should have seen and we were not seeing that. The nurse said it was inconclusive. But I knew, I knew it wasn’t inconclusive. I knew my baby was gone. Taken from me. Why? What had I done wrong? I didn’t drink or do drugs. I took my prenatal vitamins every night before bed.

I came out to the car and burst into tears. Barely able to speak. I was a blubbering mess. My boyfriend was in denial. He didn’t want to believe it. He wanted a second opinion. My body didn’t warn me. It gave me no indication that something was wrong. It still believed it was pregnant. Why oh why? By Monday I began spotting pink. I knew my body was finally beginning to realize what had happened, that we lost the baby. It’s funny people say lost the baby, as if I somehow misplaced it. I didn’t lose it. Where did it go?

Tuesday I saw my old OB who had delivered my other babies. She remained optimistic. She drew blood. She wanted to check my hcg count before proceeding. The next day, Wednesday, August 5, 2020 my Dr called. My hcg count was 2500, that’s normal for a 6 week pregnancy. I knew then my baby had stopped developing right after that first scan. My pink spotting was beginning to turn more red and a bit more heavy.

That night around 7 PM I began bleeding uncontrollably. I was getting blood all over myself and my bathroom. My four year old was scared repeatedly asking me if I was okay. I assured him I would be okay. I finished making dinner, feeding my kiddos and bathing everyone and getting them off to bed. At that point I was soaking a pad in less than an hour. I tried to shower, to get blood off me, but blood poured out of me. It was like a scene from a horror film. I began passing clots. Some were as big as my hands. I started feeling weak, dizzy and faint. Any time I stood I would see spots and darkness. I knew this wasn’t normal.

My boyfriend had to leave for work. He works the overnight shift. Fortunately my mom was here. I hadn’t even announced my pregnancy yet but I had the unfortunate experience of having to explain to her what was going on. As I crawled my way out of the shower trying to dress myself with blood still running down my legs, my mom petrified, she called 911.

The ambulance rushed me to the hospital. My blood pressure remained stable. My heart was pounding against my chest, it was in a state of tachycardia. My hemoglobin levels were low at a 10. The nurse assigned to me immediately set up an IV, took blood and urine. The ER doctor said my hcg levels were now at 1700, they were definitely going down. Another ultrasound scan confirmed the pregnancy was no longer viable. At that point the doctor felt comfortable administering me medication to help with the cramping and bleeding.

They did a pelvic exam. The ER doctor gently used a speculum to open me up and used forceps to remove clots, lots of clots. Once he believed he had gotten them all he could get to my ER nurse took wipes and began cleaning my legs and feet for me. My bleeding began to slow down. My heart rate was still high though. Even after IV fluids my hemoglobin levels had gone down another 2 points. They wanted me to stay overnight, they talked about a possible D&C and blood transfusion.

But I couldn’t stay. My boyfriend at work, my grandma refusing to help and my mom having her own health issues (osteoarthritis & fibromyalgia) I had to make it home to my other kids. I sadly had to sign myself out of the hospital against medical advice. At 2 in the morning I waited for my Uber to take me home. I sat in the backseat of someone’s car wearing the pants I came to the hospital in, soaked and stained with blood. Praying that I didn’t bleed on their seat and get charged a cleaning fee.

I made it home. Shortly afterward my four month old awakened, I went to make him a bottle, feeling weak and dizzy again, I sat on my kitchen floor trying to regain my composure and ability to walk and stand. While sitting there, my heart pounding out of my chest and sounds slowly fading out I blacked out and fainted. I awoke after smacking my forehead and elbow into the high chair and my mom jumping up as quickly as I had ever seen her move in months, crying she said “You fell, you passed out.” I laid on the floor crying and telling her I couldn’t finish making the bottle. My mom made it and gave it to my baby for me.

I forced myself to eat and drink water. Still feeling weak I dragged myself to bed and slept. I woke up the next day feeling tired, my body sore, still a little shaky and weak but somehow I survived. I was lucky. I didn’t need the blood transfusion after all. Somehow my body pulled through on its own, maybe with some help from God or my guardian angel.

I called my Dr office and informed them I miscarried. They said they were sorry for my loss. My Dr will do blood draws every week until my hcg levels return to 0. Then they will know my body did the work of emptying the uterus of all the contents of this pregnancy. My body let go, but my heart is another story.

Physically I know I will heal. This physically pain won’t last forever. There will come a day when my bleeding stops all together. My body will feel great. But my heart doesn’t know better. My heart doesn’t want to let go, it wasn’t ready to say goodbye, when we never even got the chance to say hello.

Emotionally I feel like I’m being tortured, I feel like I’m living a nightmare. I don’t know why this happened to me. I will never have answers. I’m angry with God, why would he take my baby from me? I’m angry with my body for failing me. I want my baby back, but I know that won’t ever happen.

Last night I laid on the floor of my bathtub while water streamed down me from the shower head. I wasn’t even interested in showering. It was just somewhere to go to escape. I put on a strong front all day for my mom and kids but in the shower I cry. I allow the grief to wash over me and the water drowns out my tears. Those gut wrenching, soul crushing, tears, the kind that makes your nose snot up and you feel the lump in your throat and you can literally feel your heart breaking. I prayed to God harder than I ever have before. I prayed for strength. I prayed for comfort and peace. I prayed for understanding. I prayed that God mend my broken heart.

It’s a rollercoaster of emotions honestly. I’m terrified of ever becoming pregnant again. What if this happens again? I don’t know if I can bear this pain again. This pain is unbearable. It’s a pain and emptiness I wouldn’t wish even upon my worst enemy. I know if there ever is a next time I will spend that entire pregnancy in fear. Fear of becoming attached and losing another baby. I never thought it would or could happen to me until it did and now here I am. 1 in 4 is not just a statistic. I am that 1 in 4. And it’s truly heartbreaking. My dreams are shattered. This has got to be the most traumatic experience of my life ever.

On the other side never becoming pregnant again envelopes me in fear as well. What if I become infertile after this? What if I’m never able to achieve pregnancy again? I want my rainbow baby someday. I know my heart will never fully heal until I have my rainbow baby nestled safely in my arms. The thing is I don’t know when/if that will ever happen for me. And so I sit and wait in this limbo of emotional turmoil. Even a rainbow baby would never replace this angel baby of mine. I will always hold onto this sadness to some degree. It will never just go away, I will never stop talking about and remembering my baby. There will never be another day I live that I don’t think of my baby and all the what ifs.

I’m triggered by the foods I ate while pregnant. I’m triggered by the births of healthy newborns and others announcing their pregnancies. Why do they get to keep their baby but I didn’t get to keep mine? That sounds selfish. But it feels unfair. It is unfair. Nothing about this is right or okay. I randomly cry throughout the day, silently.

I don’t even know the gender of my baby. I submitted my ultrasound scan to the Ramzi theory group; 3 boy guesses and 2 girl guesses. I will never know until someday I get to meet my baby in Heaven and hold my baby in my arms. I hope my baby is safe and healthy and happy in the arms of Jesus right now. I hope my baby knows I loved them so so much and wanted them more than anything in this world. I would do anything to have you sweet baby with me again.

This is my story. This is miscarriage. This is what it feels like. There is no simple way of explaining it. I’m part of a special group of women that now have their very own and very special angel watching over them. I will never forget you. In my heart you live forever. Until we meet again...

Positive Pregnancy Test: 06/27/2020

First Ultrasound: 07/14/2020 108 bpm 💓

My Due Date: 03/09/2021

My Miscarriage Date: 08/05/2020

It was such a short time with you but I fell in love with you from the very start and I’ll never stop loving you with every beat of my heart.

“An angel opened the book of life and wrote down my baby’s birth. Then whispered softly as she closed the book, Too beautiful for Earth.”

Fly high angel baby 👼 Mommy loves you 💕

[fadingpersoncollectorstuff-blog]

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(This is in Ohio). My friend let me drive her car when the roads were kind of bad due to weather. At an intersection, the light turned yellow, and I began to slide on the ice. I had control of the car, however, if I would have continued to slide straight I would have been hit side on by the incoming cars coming through the intersection. Instead, I had to turn the wheel and I hit a pole. No damages were done to the pole, any other cars, or people. Unfortunately when we took the car to an autobody shop, getting an estimate without the use of insurance, we got an average cost of $2,200. There's NOT that much damage on the left bumper to make the cost so expensive. Both me and my friend are insured, however, MY insurance company is saying it's her car, so her insurance has to pay for it. How will this work? If I ask her to pay using her insurance, I don't want her to pay any out of pocket. I would pay the deductible. Will this hurt her insurance, or my pocket? Any other good ideas? Thanks so much.""

Car insurance uk only pt 2 ?

i just posted a question which i have varied answers.. another question of mine is that ok they took the whole years insurance.. now my mums left with 154.77 with not enough money to pay for another car.. she is fully comp, they did not give her a courtesy car which they are suppose to have done for 3days the car had been gone and one top of it the policy claims to give replacement cars until another car has been bought! any opinions?""

Why has my car insurance went up?

mine and my partners car insurance is up for renewal, we only passed 3 years ago next April we were 660 for a 1.6 focus we thought it would go down this year as my partner is now 25 but the insurer we are with wanted 900?!! the cheapest we have seen is 730?? nothing has changed we have never claimed so why has it went up?? is it not suppose to go down the more experience you have and older you get? anyone else having this problem?""

Is there any cheap health insurance that have good coverage in california ?

Is there any cheap health insurance that have good coverage in california ?

Classic car insurance for young drivers?

I'm 17 years old and my father is trying to insure me for the classic cars we own. But the insurance company that we're with as of right now says I must be 24 before I can be insured under a classic car (or something along those lines). I am already insured under three newer cars as a secondary driver. Are there any insurance companies that will insure young drivers under a classic car? What if I was registered as a secondary driver for the classic car? Any answers are appreciated.

How long until driving on a suspended license ticket on DMV record is ignored by insurance companies?

How long until driving on a suspended license ticket on DMV record is ignored by insurance companies?

Car insurance company may be lowballing me?

someone hit my car 2 weeks ago which was a 1993 lexus ls 400 ( i know its an old car) and yes he did admit fault on the report and to his insurance company .the problem is they called me stating that there offer is $1600 ,because of previous rust on my car.let me 1st say that is bull i have pictures of my car pre-accident and post accident .there was no damage until there insured hit me.also ,they sent me an appraisal listing of the same cars in my area from dealers to come up with local market value but when i looked up the same cars that was sent to me the prices the insurance company sent wasnt the same prices the dealer had marked for there cars also ,when i asked them why this was and that i also found cars with higher mileage with prices of $3500 plus they said they dont go by dealer pricing,so my next question is why did they send false dealer estimates to me then?and when i looked at the appraisers notes certain items like sunroof ,heated seats etc. wasnt included.i haven't had an accident in over 6yrsso someone who has been in this situtation please give me advice how to handle this . is the price they gave me fair or are they lowballing me ? and are the tactics they are using a usual thing? aaaaggghhh!!!they are making me nuts!!! thanks for all answers in advance!!!""

Can I have two health insurances?

I am pregnant, and my work covers me but i already have insurance. But only for myself my not baby so I was curious how it all works? I will be getting kicked off my current insurance soon so would my work insurance just take the place of it when that happens? thanks for any help :)""

Customizing your car insurance?

I want to buy a winter-beater, something around 600 bucks. When I quote myself for insurance my monthly comes to $330 and I would assume that means full coverage. I don't want my insurance to cost a hundred times what my car is worth. If I were to customize my insurance and have the choice, what insurance options should I be choosing to bring my cost down below $200? I know it will also depend on other things like the car itself, don't give me un-necessary information, please and thanks. I live in Ontario.""

Cheapest car insurance rates for older car/no record/liability only?

hi- if anyone knows chespest company, i did a online quote for progressive, but dont want to take the time to go through all companies. if anyone knows cheapest rates-company, please let me know""

Can a new driver who is 19 years old get car insurance on a Mercedes Benz?

I have looked on a couple of comparison sites and they don't offer car insurance for a Mercedes Benz for a 19 year old new driver. Could you give me an insurance quote? Much appreciation.

Car insurance wrong information coverage upon car purchase..?

i bought a new truck, i am a first time car buyer and got the independent insurance agent the dealer had.... the agent told me that he was informed by the insurance agent that i will have a one (1) year coverage for the auto insurance as well as the amount of my monthly premium.. when i got the policy i was shocked to find out i only got six months coverage for the insurance and my monthly premium increased... they got PROGRESSIVE as the insurance company. i have already paid the required first six months (according to the agent) insurance premium and have to pay monthly for the remaining 6 months... which is not the case when i got my policy... is there a way how to handle, change this car insurance that i got? if not how could i send any complain to certain authorities/agencies for this kind of activities? any help is appreciated""

How much do you spend on your car payment/insurance per a month?

and is it a used or new car?

""I'm 23 and wanting to buy a new car, how much more will I pay in insurance because of my age?

For example: I'm wanting to buy a 25k car. (new civic) I got quoted at $1500 for a 6 month policy full coverage. I have a clean record. How much does my age effect the quote all other things being equal. Will waiting till I'm 24 make a big difference in the quote?

Car insurance after drink driving ban.?

hi, i was banned for 18month for drink driving when i was 16 ( i know very stupid) i am now 25 years old soon to pass my test how high will my car insurance be what would be the best, cheapest car for insurance, please constructive answers I know drink driving is VERY BAD i was 16 and very stupid, thanks for any answers.""

How much does car insurance cost for a new driver?

How much does car insurance cost for a new driver?

Where can I get the Cheapest Car Insurance Quotes at Online?

How can I find the cheapest car insurance for me? I just got my first car and I know I will prolly pay a lot for insurance but how can I check for deals? I am on a really tight budget but at the same time, I only have a second-hand car so I gotta make sure I get insurance that will pay out if I need to make a claim. Where can I get the cheapest car insurance for my car at, and how reliable is it if I need to claim?""

Do I need a consent to settle by my own auto insurance company?

The guy who hit me does not have an ample amount of insurance to cover my injuries. They are offering me the policy limits to settle. My own uninsured or uninsured motorist has been given enough documentation to know that my additional insurance will come into play. I have filed suit against the guy and his insurance company, but do I need a letter of consent to settle with them from my own insurance company to make sure that my uninsured motorist coverage will still be available to me. I really think it is criminal for any insurance company or state to make the limits on auto insurance so low, when the average cost of an auto accident is higher than the minimum coverages that they allow drivers to driver under. Also, there are many attorneys that wont even look at taking a case unless the limits are much higher than state minimum, because they can make considerably more on those who are very well insured. My own insurance company is treating my like I am retarded, and I was until I started reading all the insurance laws and bought a very fine civil litigation book for 4 dollars, best investment I ever made. But I am no Pro Se expert, my hat is tipped to you attorneys and insurance adjusters. What a stressful job you have and so many laws to abide by and to follow. I can only get better the more I read the more I know. Thanks for your time.""

What is the cheapest Insurance for a 16 year old?

I just got my license now i gotta get insurance...

Health insurance options for a college student?

One of my best friends is headed off to college, but she doesn't have health insurance, and her parents won't allow her to stay on theirs (they can't afford it, either). I'm concerned for her and obviously want to know if there are some options for her to get some affordable but decent health insurance. What are her options? For the sake of this question, assume that her university does NOT provide their own student health care options. Thanks in advance!""

What does an insurance carrier mean?

Is it the person who makes the monthly payments on your behalf if you can't do it? What does it mean?

Insurance on Mini Cooper for an 18 year old?

I was wondering if you could get insurance on one of the older ones 1900s pickups or van or normal.I was thinking of a restoration project. But I want to know could I get insurance on one. And roughly how much. I know the restoration will cost a lot but I could do a bit and I have family that could just about cover everything else. I thought I might have 10,000 for everything including insurance. Thank you""

Why is my auto insurance so high?

I'm currently buying a 2013 Subaru Impreza Sport Limited, but my insurance quotes are averaging over $600 a month. I'm 19, male, and have two speeding tickets, and I have friends that are paying under $100 a month. Why would it be so high for me?""

Car insurance question.?

OK, so I got my car insurance renewal to start on 16 May, and it went up from 40 a month to 60, for no gosh darned reason. Grrr. I know that the insurance has gone up a lot, and I think they blame the compensation claims for this, but up a THIRD! Jeeeeeez! Last year, it went up from 35 a month to 50 and I had a whinge down the phone at them, and they reduced it to 40 by changing the recovery a bit (I don't get help now unless I am more than a mile from home; but the chances are I would be when I broke down anyway, and even if I was half a mile away, I could walk back!) so I agreed to change that. So I rang them today and they said they can lower it a fiver because I am a 'loyal' customer, (so down to 55 a month.) Big deal! I am nearly 40, I passed my test 20 years ago, and I have been with them 10 years and NEVER made a claim, and yet they bump my premium by a third! I am like It's a LOT of dosh. Does this seem like a ludicrous leap to you? Has yours gone up a lot too? Does this sound like a high amount to pay? (55 to 60 a month.) Or reasonable for a 38 year old woman? It does include recovery in this quote, and the recovery is about 130. But 2 years ago, I was paying 35, and this year they are asking for 60 a month! I do like this insurance company and have my home insurance and pet insurance with them too, and don't want to leave, but a jump of a third!""

compare motor insurance

compare motor insurance

How much insurance do you guys pay for 2005+ mustang gt?

im 21 years old and thinking about buying a 2007 mustang since I have saved up enough money for one. I have 3 speeding tickets in my record driving history. I can only afford upto $4000-$4500 a year in insurance. Can I not afford this car? Gas and winter driving are not problems for me.

Where do I find Cheap Car Insurance When I have Epilepsy?

I'm 19, and I haven't had a fit since I was 16 (I believe I've done the teenage growing out of it ), The DVLA are fine and are issuing me a provisional, but finding insurance is a pain in the ***. Is there anywhere that does cheap insurance that doesn't care if I have Epilepsy? OR just does it cheap anyway?""

What kind of insurance should I get?

I need dental braces but can't afford them. Is there dental insurance that I can get so that I wont have to spend so much out of pocket??

Cheap Driving Insurance - Can anyone get me a better deal??

ok my mother (48 been driving for around 23 years 8 years no claims) is the owner/driver i am a named driver (21 with 6 points) been driving under 1 year because i got license revoked and had to resit my tests The Car is a fiat brava 1.4 red 5 door 5 seats worth about 1000GBP cheapest quote i can get is with the AA 600 comprehensive is there anyone who can get it any cheaper???

What are a list of cars that are cheap to insure? and is a 1990 geo metro cheap to insure?

What are a list of cars that are cheap to insure? and is a 1990 geo metro cheap to insure?

Help with Car insurance?

Hi I am wanting some help with Car and Car insurance. I am 17 years old and soon I will be taking my 1st driving lesson. I hope to be passed by September 2014 fingers crossed. However all the buzz of driving hits you hard when you look at insurance and you think. How can I get 3000 to 5500 just like that. Well I have been saving my money and only have 500 pound. I have a birthday in march and Christmas is soon so all the money I get I will save for insurance. Now to the main bit. My brother is going to be giving me is Citron C2 because he is getting a new car in September I was thinking is it possible for me to get cheap insurance some how. the main reason because I don't want to be pay 3k out. My brother had to pay this but now is insurance for the C2 is very cheap. I was wondering when he gets is new car if he also puts insurance on the C2 and me as the second driver and I pay him money every month or something. Or is there anything else I can do? Thanks Kieren

Who pays for the home insurance when you are owner financing it? Also in the state of Texas what insurance c?

Who pays for the home insurance when you are owner financing it? The seller or the buyer? Also in the state of Texas what insurance companies provide mobile home insurance?

What kind of insurance should young marrieds have?

My husband and I are 30 and 35 and in good health. He works and I'm a stay at home wife. I'd like to ensure that, should something happen to either of us, the other is 'taken care of' financially. What kind of life insurance policy should we consider? Are there other types of insurance policies we need like disability, etc?""

Need help with car & insurance (Just starting out)?

So I am 18 and want to move out of my mother's house because of reasons I shouldn't mention. Not because I am some spoiled teen looking to do what ever I want. But are you willing to help me? My question is: How do I get my liecense with out limited insurance or a car? How do I get insurance without a liecense or a car? How do I get a car without a liecense or insurance? This is the vicous cicle D: How can a new adult jump out into the world when my mother isn't willing to help me? I have a stable income. I just need some advice.

Can auto insurance keep policy after being told to drop?

Switched insurance companies. the original insurance company WOULD NOT CANCEL the policy. Is this illegal?

I wrecked my motorcycle with no insurance in fl help?

So a year ago i wrecked my motorcycle, crashing into another car. I did not have insurance or a motorcycle Endorsement. I live in fl so im kind of familiar with the not at fault law. However the insurance company from the other party has sent a bill for 9k an request i pay it. Some people are telling me to ignore it an others are telling me to pay. Need help would be thankful. Im trying to be a firefighter paramedic an i do not want this to kill my chances. Thank you""

How long do I have to pay this expensive premium?

I don't know much about car insurance, but I have a six month premium and it is pretty expensive. I have had the insurance for 5 of the 6 months. My real question is after six months will I pay a least expensive amount or how does it work?""

How long does it take for auto insurance to pay out for no-fault accident?

Hello - I was involved in an auto-accident in March of 2006 in which both insurance companies (mine and hers) agreed that it was the other party's fault and I was a zero-liability. Their insurance company (let's call them Venus , of ease) has asked for receipts ($1000 in rentals which my coverage does not cover), my deductible amount and any other amount which I had to put out (total is about $1,700). I have waited since April for them to pay me. I get letters from Venus every other week saying they are pending further investigation - but, I am at wits-end and want my money which I had to pay-out for an accident that everyone acknowledges is not my fault. Does anyone know what the law/rules are in California and how long they can take to pay after they find the other party is at fault? Also, what can I word in a strongly worded letter to get this finally paid. I dont want to hire lawyer for such a low amount - but, that extra 1700 sure would be nice at the moment. Thanks! Chris""

Do you have health insurance?

if so, how much is it per month? how old are you? what kind of deductible do you have? Also Feel free to answer if you do not have insurance and do you support Obamacare?""

What is the Best & cheapest insurance in Texas?

I drive a 1989 Toyota Camry, I just go to and from school (less than 2 miles away) i only drive the car like Mon. & Wed. and yet i have to pay like 150 for car insurance, in 6 months of paying, i pay what my car is worth. So i wanted to know is there any cheap insurance i dont care if they suck or anything like that, i just want something below 100 dlls. so please tell me which insurance you use and how much you pay a month that would really help. Thank you in advance -Angela""

How do doctors actually pay for liability insurance?

On studentdoc.com, the salary survey stated that the average OB/GYN made roughly $238000 a year, but some sites I have looked at show that they also pay $50000 a year (in florida, that rises to $100000) for malpractice insurance. Even for other practices, such as pediatrics and internal medicine, the rate is usually $30000+. This is a huge amount of money and really, after paying student loans, mortgages, taxes, and etc, how much money do doctors actually take home? Surely not all doctors actually pay for their premiums. Specifically, how much would a pediatric surgeon pay in malpractice insurance in California or Illinois? Just some food for thought.""

What is the best kind of life insurance to get? Which is most affordable?

(term, whole, universal, variable) I also would like your recommendations on good companies.""

Car Insurance Liability?

Should I go around and get $2000000 in liability, or should I just go with $1000000?""

Cheapest car insurance for young drivers from other country!?

Hello, i would like to find the cheapest insurance for car, its doesn't meter what problems cover isnurance, just cheapest way. I and girlfriend buy citroen saxo 2001 year, She is 22yr, and im 20yr old, i have 4 years old driving licence, she have 5 years. We come to UK before 2 years. She is Driver1 im, Driver 2!!! Mybe i can register car trought internet in other country and get cheapes insurance? Thanks!!!""

Do you know that 30 million working poor will be able to get health insurance under the affordable care act?

But only if the law stands. http://eclectablog.com/2012/06/18-reasons-the-affordable-care-act-is-the-greatest-achievement-for-the-middle-class-since-medicare.html

What is a good (cheap) insurance in Canada?

I'm a new driver, I would like to have an insurance for myself, in case IF anything happened. What are some companies with good deals? They are mostly expensive, but I have heard there are some cheaper ones available. Thank you for you help!""

Motorbike Insurance 600cc ~ 1000cc?

Iam 24 years old ( will do the bike test later this year ) I would just like a rough figure on what would it cost the insurance for these bikes. CB 600 hornet HONDA CBR 1000 KAWASAKI Z1000 KAWASAKI ER 650 YAMAHA R1 YAMAHA R6 Iam asking because iam abroad and i cant do the quotes else i would not loose time asking If someone could be kind enough to help out just with a near figure iwould gladly apreciate the help.

What is the best car insurance?

im 18 i just bought my car and now i need insurance what is the cheapest insurance out there for a guy of my age?

Value Of Car Set By Insurance Company?

My car was recently stolen and declared a total lost, when I first got insurance on this car the new or used cost value was set by my insurance company for $19,000. Now that my car is a total lost they only said they can give me the fair market value only. Why did they set a price of $19,000?""

""Im a 14 years experianced driver , going to reside in USA, Wi, soon ; how will be my Auto Insurance policy?""

Im a 32 years old male and I have been driving for past 14 years. Im going to move to USA , Wisconsin , I would like to know how will be my Auto Insurance Policy? Will I be considered as a new driver , Since I belive I would have to apply for an American Driving license?""

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compare motor insurance

How much should i settle my auto injury claim for? please someone help me out!?

Question Details: i had an acccident about a year and half ago and i was a passenger. i have no health insurance and have been footing all medical bills thus far. i am writing a demand letter right now but am wondering how much should be my compensation request. here's a brief summary. the other driver is at complete fault. i have all soap notes from doctors,bills and reports. we were hit head on while on our way to my root canal surgery, i was having my permanent put in. i had to go in 2 weeks later wearing a cervical collar. i have choronditis, back sprains and horrible knee contusions still left on my foot. my doctor has recommended physical therapy for up to 3 months but i can't afford to go anymore thus why i am trying to settle. total medical bills is about 12,000 not including other misc like pills. i just don't want to ask too high or be taken for a fool,so please help. thanks. also the insurance company has never made an offer they said it was a hard hit. both cars in""

Progressive auto insurance? or AAA..which one is cheaper?

in terms of (monthly payments)

Is getting renter's insurance a good idea? How about with Balboa insurance?

I'm considering getting this but have no idea how renter's insurance works or anything.

Will my insurance rates go up if I get a speeding ticket in someone elses's car?

I was driving an insured vehicle which belongs to a nonlicensed driver., I received a speeding ticket in this car. Whose insurance will go up?""

Insurance 2 be a cheer leader???????

do you have to have health insurance to be on a high school cheer team? and if you dont then do they not let you on the team?

National Health Insurance?

I have a huge report to do for school on my position on National Health Insurance. I am completely opposed to it. Although I'd like to see what anyone else thinks, and I'm looking for any great statistics I could add to my report. Thanks!!""

How do I get insurance for my child?

I have a son who is 1 and i have no clue how to get him dental insurance.?! He has the state insurance. But I have been trying to get my job to aplrove me for an insurance plan, but i keep getting denied and wont be elegibe til October. What do I do?""

Would you ever commit insurance fraud?

Would you ever commit insurance fraud?

Which auto insurance carrier is best?

I want to find a reliable company. I've looked into Geico and Allstate... just don't know how they handle claims and things. Any input?

Should everyone be required to buy healthcare insurance?

I say no. What if I can afford it? It should not be required but it should be AFFORDABLE!

How much would extra would i pay for another car on my policy?

I currently own 2 cars and am looking to buy another one. It is a 99 crown vic police int P71. I dont want collision or anything extra, i want the lowest insurance policy that i can get. Im taking that, that would be a liability only policy, am i correct? If not what kind of policy do i ask for? Also, how much more a month would this cost? No one will steal it because its a former cop car, but you couldnt tell and i doubt i will reck it.""

What does total excess mean with car insurance ?

hi on my car insurance it says 450 total excess what does that mean ? thanks

How much would insurance cost for a mazda rx7 as a young dirver?

i was thinking of getting a mazda rx7 for my first car. i know its a twin turbo which make it faster but , and im sure everybody heard this b4 but i wont b speeding in the car i realy just like the look and my parents friend is selling his so it is more handy.. im from ireland. can anybody tell me how much would it cost me and any way of getting cheaper insurance. thanks""

How much would this monthly payment approx be?

A new car that was a total cost of 16 thousand dollars. Monthly payment would be around 140. Plus full coverage insurance?

Car insurance?

my car insurance is $1537 i dont know why im 18 years old have a kia spectra 03 drive 2 hours to school everyday can anyone pls help me

Health Insurance in NC?

Recommendations for Health Insurance in NC for adult and Child. Any good experiences with service and cost?

Car insurance for family car?

My mum is learning to drive and my dad got her a small Vauxhall Corsa and the idea was to insure me on the car so I have access to it should I need it. The quote just come in at 1300 ish and well for a car I may or may not be driving that much I am not going to pay it. On my own if I owned the same car I have found insurance of around 700 which is more acceptable. The problem is I don't own the car and my dad is insured on it and my mum is insured on it as a learner, but could I then insure myself on that same car separately? Naturally I'd have to tell them who owns the car but other than that? The main problem is I'm 21, have not driven in three years since passing my test (due to insurance funnily enough) and a student, which is a potent mix for insurance companies ripping you off as much as possible.""

I am a new driver with insurance queries.can anyone help me?

i am a new driver and i am thinking of buying a cheap,affordable,small car (ford ka). The problem is that if i put my father's name as the main driver,who has his licence since ages,and put my name as a 2nd driver, how much approx. will my insurance come down to?+ i got my pass plus.""

Car Insurance without a license?

I know this is a dumb question, but I thought I would ask anyway. My 25 year old son, recently had his license suspended, due to non payment of a ticket. His car registration is coming up this month. Is there any way he can get insurance, so the registration on his car, will remain current. At least until he pays off his ticket.""

Would there be a major insurance cost change between '99 Acura TL & '99 Honda Accord?

I will get one of those two cars soon, but for the acura TL, is the insurance going to be significantly higher than the accord, or do u think there wont be much a difference? thank you""

If you get your drivers license do you have o pay insurance?

im 16 and my mom wont let me get my license because she says she would have to pay insurance

How much would a typical car insurance cost for a punto? im also a new driver and 20 yrs of age.?

How much would a typical car insurance cost for a punto? im also a new driver and 20 yrs of age.?

Can I buy health insurance for just my child?

We make to much to be covered through state based insurances (CHPlus or Family Health plus) however we don't make enough to buy family insurance if we would like eat each day. So ...show more

""My car Insurance got cancelled, will my license get suspenede?""

I live in Miami Fl, she told me I can start all over and give a down and 5 month payments. But im kind of tight with money now and wanted to get insurance in about 3 months. Will my ...show more""

How much does plow insurance cost?

I'm about to turn 15 and I'm looking to buy a truck to fix up. I know plow trucks are much cheaper than one that Has never plowed jut because of the wear and tear on the front end tranny and engine. If I were to buy a plow truck I'd plow with is. I am aware of most of the other costs buy I'm looking to know how much liability insurance for plowing for cost me?

compare motor insurance

compare motor insurance

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/ok-car-insurance-questions-jeffrey-porter/"

[trendingnewsb]

Artie Lange Is Not Ready to Die: F*ck Em All

Its hard being friends with the notoriously demon-plagued comedian Artie Langewhich, full disclosure, I am. This is in no way objective. I truly want the guy to live.

I first interviewed Lange in 2006 as part of the New York Posts coverage of the annual New York Comedy Festival. He had just sold out Carnegie Hall in a few hours and was on top of the world. Over the next few years, we met at comedy clubs from time to time. I mentioned how healthy he looked in a May 2009 Page Six item about his visiting Colin Quinns one-man show (which he mentioned in his book Crash and Burn). When I interviewed him again on Oct. 30, 2009, it was a longer talk this time, with a few insights that surprised me. He talked about the game comics play of initially sabotaging a set with the audience, then seeing if you can dig yourself out of that hole. I asked if he had ever thought that he might be playing the same game with his own life. You should be a shrink, he said.

Sixty-nine days later, I heard the news, like anyone else who follows Lange: that he was near death after stabbing himself in the stomach nine times with a 13-inch kitchen knife.

Then on Sept. 27, 2010, I got a call from comedian Dan Naturman, who told me all about Arties triumphant return at the Comedy Cellar, which led to an incredibly feel-good lead item in Page Six called: Artie Lange Thrills Audiences Again.

I interviewed him several more times over the years, and when my husband Pat Dixon, who is also a comedian, started his own show in 2015 at Compound Media, run by controversial radio legend Anthony Cumia, I told Artie that he ought to consider joining the network. To my surpriseand unrelated to me telling him that, as the pairing of two Sirius refugees is a no-brainer for anyone who follows shock-jock radioin August 2017, he started a new show with Cumia called The AA Show. Now, not only did Lange have a regular broadcasting outlet, but the HBO series Judd Apatow and Pete Holmes enlisted him in called Crashing, where he played himself, was a bona fide hit. His third book, Wanna Bet?, was inked, his standup was doing well, and so if you were doing any kind of predictive sequence, what happened next was no surprise.

Oct. 16, 2017: Artie Lange rushed to hospital, cancels weekend show. Dec. 13, 2017: Artie Lange Arrested After Missing Court Date for Drug Charges. Dec. 15, 2017: Artie Lange Headed to Rehab on Private Jet After Drug Charge.

Less than a month later, on Jan. 12, Lange returned home to New York and tweeted out to his 364,000 followers: Im back guys. Clean & Sober 32 days.

On Jan. 18, after celebrating Dave Attells birthday (Artie just turned 50 himself), Lange met me in between sets at New York Citys Olive Tree Cafe. To avoid the requests for photos from fans and occasional paparazzi, we sat in his SUV and drove around the city for an hour and a half before returning to the comedy club. With one hand on the steering wheel and one on an unlit Marlboro Red, Lange talked about everything from Harvey Weinstein to Donald Trump to Louis C.K. to Aziz Ansari to the fundamental question at hand:

Artie Lange doesnt want to die… right?

The following interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

Mandy: So I guess Im wondering at what point all of this is enough to get you to stop. Like, for instance, I have a friend who if he did cocaine one more time, the doctors told him his nose would collapse

Artie: Well half of my nose is gone. My nose has no septum. I mean Ive been snorting coke and heroin

Mandy: When was the last time you did coke or heroin?

Artie: Well I just pissed clean at Hazelden so thats 38 days. But heres the thing: 31 of them were in lockdown. So nows the real work. And Im not going to lie to you, its a struggle lying there every night.

Mandy: Whats the longest youve ever been clean?

Artie: Since I was 15, 11 months. And two weeks in my twenties.

Mandy: Do you take, what is it, methadone?

Artie: No, no. I was on methadone years ago. There was a methadone clinic on Eighth and 35th, and I would go there before Howard. They would give it out to me, like special, at 5:30 a.m. I had to stop doing heroin because I was losing my job. They gave me the methadone. Its fucking heroin, basically. I left during interviews to throw up. And I said, Well this is worse than fucking heroin, so why dont I stay on that. I take Suboxone now. Suboxone works well for me, and its accepted by society. It looks like a pill you take for blood pressure every morning, so thats how Ive got to look at it. It lets you not go cold turkey.

Aziz Im sorry is a better name. I dont have any respect for Aziz Ansari. Im glad nobody got raped.

Artie Lange

Mandy: You detoxed cold turkey in jail this last time?

Artie: Ive been in jail like eight times, and this past time, I detoxed. I kicked heroin, like lying on the floor. When I got arraigned, you always want to be very respectful in front of the judge. She was like, What are you doing? And Im thinking to myself, Well, your honor, Im dead. And you know, Im trying to stand up. Withdrawal, the physical stuff, people would see the first or the second day of withdrawals, girlfriends would say, Well, that was really bad. And Im like, You saw the opening act. That was The Clash. That was David Johansen. The Who is about to take the stage. The third or fourth day of heroin withdrawal, if youre a big user like I became, if youre not physically stopped from getting dope, youll get it. With heroin, I became an addict on the road. I always had money. Ive never had to steal. I dont judge those people. Like people say to me, Have you ever blown a guy for heroin? I say, No. But then again, no ones ever asked.

Mandy: If you do fall off the wagon again, are you scared of fentanyl at all?

Artie: No. A real heroin addict is not scared of fentanyl. Id do it in a heartbeat. I want strong shit.

Mandy: Have you seen the tiny amount it takes to kill you?

Artie: I dont know what it is, but draw it back one inch. I would accept fentanyl in a heartbeat. I had a fentanyl patch on in a mental home. It was unbelievable. Ive never ODed. Ive had dealers say, Jesus Christ. What the fuck. But the nose is bad now. I could get a brain infection. If I did it, anything would go right to the brain. But again, I heard that six months ago, and I went and used an hour after.

Mandy: So I mean… you must want to die.

Artie: No, I dont want to die. I want to be high.

Mandy: But that will eventually kill you.

Artie: Im 50. If you would have told me in 1995, if you tried to bring up 2018, it would be like The Jetsons. Id be like, What are you talking about?

Mandy: So youre having fun on borrowed time.

Artie: Im playing with the houses money. As far as Im concerned, Im an overachiever. A lot of money changed hands on the internet when I turned 50. I was so happy. Fuck em all.

Mandy: But I mean… your mom and your sister. Theyre the main people who keep you from wanting to to be reckless with the houses money, right?

Artie: Yes thats the… thats the worst.

Mandy: I called your mom when you were practically in a coma these last few weeks, and her voice was just so heartbroken. I dont think she thought you were going to make it.

Artie: Yeah, you know, my father left us with nothing. I love my dad. He was my best friend. But my father was a criminal. My dad was an impulsive guy, and thats what killed him. Just like my father, with me, there are real high highs and real low lows. Like my mother saw me at Carnegie Hall, when my book went to No. 1 on The New York Times bestseller list, and I think [Barack] Obamas was like No. 7. She has that framed. But then shes also seen me withdrawing in jail.

Mandy: Your mom discovered you when you tried to kill yourself in 2010, right?

Artie: That was not a suicide attempt. I was in such bad withdrawals. Believe me, I leave a note. The one other time, I left a note. But shrinks go, Youve never tried to kill yourself. Because there was always a mountain of drugs involved. I was in such bad withdrawals, I wanted to feel something different. I was by myself. I wanted to lose enough blood to pass out. When I woke up, I dont know, I figured Id put on a red shirt and go out. I didnt know my mother was coming over. They had an intervention planned that I didnt even know about. I go, Ma, you never planned a surprise party.

Mandy: Does your mom talk to you every day?

Artie: Yeah, my mother knows me better than anybody, but I dont tell her when I slip. You know, when Dr. Drew offered me 250 grand to do Celebrity Rehab, I thought to myself, Do I just want to kill my mother now? Like its going to be me and Dennis Rodman throwing up in the same bucket. I love Dr. Drew, but I knew that show was going to go off the air because the recovery rate is like zero. If Pablo Escobar were alive today, hed be running a rehab. Its such a corrupt industry.

Mandy: You seem to still get offered drugs a lot. I think about that scene in Crashing where its the super hot woman from Showgirls who has coke and wants to do it with you.

Artie: Gina Gershon? Yeah, you know, that episode is based on one of my stories. And if the woman who inspired the episode figures it out, shed be very happy with the casting.

Mandy: Do you think it was a good idea to leave rehab early?

Artie: I have to do this intense outpatient thing which is five days a week. I go in there in the morning, and I get piss tests there. Screen Actors Guild doesnt let you do that to people. Like its almost an NFL union. You cant pee-test people. Not that Im complaining about it, but I dont get fired from shows because ultimately its a forgiving business for stuff like that. People always say its a forgiving business. And, its true. Robert Downey Jr. came back, and hes like the best actor ever. But for every one of him, theres like two thousand Jeff Conaways from Taxi living at a right angle and nobody cares and they die alone.

Mandy: Youre just working so much right now.

Artie: The one genre where I have some juice is the radio business, and you know Anthony Cumia, I love Anthony so much now. I never really met him before. Were both sort of outlaws. Without this podcasting technology you know we both would be out of a job now, probably. Its such a weird existence I have right now. Over on one side, Im doing this crazy podcast with Anthony on Compound Media that I love, and then Im on Crashing which is an HBO-produced show I love, but which could not be more the other way. Judd Apatow is another famous guy who saved my life. Like, what a great person. Ive got books and stand-up, and Im still making a lot of money doing it. If thats not going to go away, theres not much of an incentive to stay in rehab.

Mandy: And Im guessing, from what you said, you dont want to leave your mom with nothing. So what about a gig like the one with Anthony Cumia. Is that enabling or is that helping you stay clean?

Artie: Let me tell you something: I love doing it. Its almost like therapy. A lot of people dont understand a comics mind. People are like, Youre going to jump right into stand-up? Yeah, thats what I have to do. I cant stop doing it. And Anthonys show is like from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. Its the most fun Ive ever had in my life. Even more fun than Howard. Because I was never uncensored on Howard. Its his show. Its Howard. So what was happening near the end when his life changed, he would meet somebody in the Hamptons, and we wouldnt know about it. Like me and Fred [Norris, the longest tenured Howard Stern staff member] wouldnt know about it. And then hed be friends with them, like somebody we bashed for 10 years. So Id say something about Richard Gere, and hed go, You got a problem with him? Id go, Havent we always had a problem with him? No, I had dinner with him. Well, can I get the memo? I dont give a shit. Ill put him on the fucking list. But I wouldnt not be able to make fun of Orlando Bloom. The show, I couldnt be on now. And he knew that.

Mandy: Anthony probably does a better Howard impression than Howard at this point.

Artie: Well the thing about Anthony is that hes the same guy off-air. But its not true for Howard. Howards a very fascinating guy. He must have an IQ north of 180. But the example I always use is that Hunter S. Thompson was a guy who destroyed like the wealthy and corporate America, and he walked the walk until the end of his life. He was a crazy maniac in Colorado and shot himself in the head. And Howard was like that for a while. He was making fun of all these people, and when he got a chancelike no one else has become an A-list person through the radiobut when he got a chance to be with those people, fans thought hes going to be like Hunter S. Thompson. Like you see them through the window eating, and hes going to bust through the window or moon them or something. And when he got the chance, like Jennifer Anistons wedding, he starts making out with Orlando Bloom.

Mandy: Metaphorically.

Artie: Right. And to me as a fan, its like, what the fuck have we been laughing at all this time? Me and my first girlfriend at the time Dana [Sironi], she was close with Beth [Ostrosky Stern]. And Beth is a sweetheart. I dont want to make it sound like Im bitter. I still love Howard.

Mandy: Who are the people from the Stern show you keep in touch with?

Artie: Well, theyre not allowed to call me. I swear to God, Ive had people tell me from the show they were worried they were talking to me. Look, Im a person whos impulsive, and I get very angry and I say things I shouldnt say. Its hurt me my whole life, and Im a junkie.

Mandy: You tweeted a few days ago, Look out Marci. Im talking to Howard without your permission, referring to his high-profile handler Marci Turk. Did you actually talk to Howard Stern?

Artie: No, I dont talk to Howard. We hate each others guts. He cant stand me for some reason, and Ive learned to hate him.

Mandy: Whats your reaction to Louis C.K.? And now everyones talking about the story that was written about Aziz Ansari.

Artie: Aziz Im sorry is a better name. I dont have any respect for Aziz Ansari. Im glad nobody got raped. But you know, I agree with Samantha Bee when she says it doesnt have to be rape to ruin somebodys life. Thats true. And what Louis did is despicable. That was a rumor for a long time. But if youre a couple of women at the Aspen Comedy Festival, youve got a lot going on, probably. And theres this comedian, who back then he wasnt famous, but hes always been respected, and they certainly knew him. And hes promising them shit supposedly, and its just because he wants to jerk off in front of them. Its just the creepiest thing ever. Louis was always overrated to me. He has like five jokes hes written that I like. But you know Ill go along with it, if it gets me spots. I just think hes overrated. To me, it was like the emperors new clothes came off. In the hotel room.

Mandy: Have you had any women approach you with any kind of Me Too moment, something they wanted to confront you about?

Artie: A girl? No. I mean, some people think Im a misogynist because of stuff on the Stern show. You know Ive never told anybody this, but this is how my family feels about sex predators: After I told my father about a high-school teacher hurting a girl I knew, the way my dad dealt with it was by waiting outside the teachers house, putting a bag over the guys head, and leaving him in a car for two days. My dad came back, disguised his voice, and he said, Stop fucking touching little girls. Im not condoning how he handled it, but thats just the truth. My father thought that was justified. You know, there are people who think Goodfellas is horrible. We think its a comedy. My momshe is the strongest woman in my lifeand she and my sister are my heroes. Any woman whos ever dated me will tell you, Im like, Are you sure? Can we get this in writing and an email from you? I think in Hollywood, its a case of these nerdy guys who dont know what to do with a woman, and they get a chance to do it, and they do something inappropriate. Like Ive never been a Casanova but Ive always been able to get a date. I think the more time you stay asexual in your adult life, you get creepier.

Mandy: Ive had several comics over the years tell me about their personal dislike for Aziz based on his standoffish behavior. Do you think theres any schadenfreude right now as he is coming under fire?

Artie: Im probably one of those guys. I thought he could follow me on Bitter. I dont like bashing of comedians in general. I hated the Dane Cook-bashing thing. And Dane goes on to make all that money, and that bitterness comes out. Then his brother steals millions of dollars from him. I wish Dane well. And you know, I think Aziz gets a lot of that bitterness, too. You know, his timing is perfect for comedy. But what he does at the Comedy Cellar is not going to endear him to anybody. What he does there, he sits in the corner like a young Dylan writing jokes, and he can do that at home. We get it. Youre a hard worker. But I guess were going to have to get over that, because a new generation of people is coming.

I think he was trying to figure out a way to get rid of me. I did the job for him, but I dont think he was rooting for it.

Artie Lange on Howard Stern

Mandy: Do you think that Crashing captures the changing culture in comedy at all?

Artie: Judd is so great at what he does, and so is Pete [Holmes]. The way Judd lets you improvise, and the money… see Ive never been involved in something that you might call a hit. Except the Stern show, but that was very different. Judd is so successful. The money HBO is spending. They shot it like a playyou dont have to do over-the-shoulder stuff. And the way that I talk and work, it was way better for me. Judd knew that. Like the scene in the pizzeria, Judd read my book, which was flattering, and he said, Just tell me stories about your life, about what can happen off-stage, so like the ghost of Christmas future. Comedy future. I think its great, because Judd lets us talk.

Mandy: I was relistening today to your very first Howard Stern appearance. And Stern is joking, saying, You need coke. Youre a lot better on it. He also says, Go out and get into more trouble, and well have you back on.

Artie: I know. But you cant blame anyone else for any of this. Howards genius is seeing which way the wind is blowing in society and acting accordingly. I think he noticed after the Janet Jackson thing, we started getting fined for stupid shit. Were getting $500,000 fines for jokes Im making about farting. The guy is a genius at marketing and comedymore so in marketing. I think he saw over time the way the show was going, and that it would not be conducive to have me on it. But he also knew that I was popular. I think he was trying to figure out a way to get rid of me. I did the job for him, but I dont think he was rooting for it. I think he conquered that era of radio with me. I wouldnt fit in now at all. I cant stand Gwyneth Paltrow. The contrast between the old shows is crazy. Like if you listen to shows we did of us talking about Jennifer Aniston or Ellen DeGeneres dancing in the 2000s. He said Aniston was a cunt. Even I was like, Jesus, it must be personal. Now he goes to her wedding.

Mandy: So whats going on with your health? The diabetes has gotten really bad? Have you had to amputate anything?

Artie: God no. The rumors have gotten really bad, havent they? No, the diabetes is under control every time I go to the hospital. But the thing is, its a confusing disease. One day a Twinkie could save your life, and another day it could kill you. Im not a good preparer so thats why I was bad in school. I was like, Lets get the fuck out of here and get to life. Which comedy lets you do. But yeah, with diabetes, youre supposed to measure your blood sugar every time before you eat. Im like, What the fuck, are you kidding me? Im going to take my blood sugar in the parking lot of McDonalds? Its bad, but when I go to the hospital they get me under control. So now its under control. Its fine, actually. But you know, give me two months out of the hospital and my blood sugar is higher than my credit score. Thats the signifier of a loser. They also put me on the liver list. I needed a new liver. But I went to a medical clinic someone recommended, and they gave me this special shit they put in the saline, it cost like $80,000, and my liver enzymes were like 900, which is like Mickey Mantle at the end of his life. And it went to normal, completely normal. My kidneys, my liver are all fine. The doctor said, Youve got the bloodwork, despite the diabetes, of an Olympic athlete.

Mandy: Have you thought about going down to Hippocrates Health Institute, where a lot of entertainment industry people have gone?

Artie: I did that once. Yeah, my sister found out about it. You need a prescription for an apple. I ran away from that in 2008. Howard said, go away for as long as you need to. Eight days in with these two other guys who were Stern fans who would have done anything for me, we just escaped in the one guys car. I got a $3,500 room at the Setai in South Beach, and I got a hooker and a bunch of pancakes. And I called into the show and said I have whiskey and pancakes with this Ecuadorian hooker, and he put me on the air. So I left early from that, and I was out of control. And Howard didnt think I was going to die or anything. You know, Chris Rock came in once and said, Howard, I think youve got to fire Artie. I love him. But he needs consequences.

Mandy: I guess my take is, from observing you from afar, youve said, Im clean so many times, and that youre always somebody who is going to use.

Artie: People think that I want to be someone who uses. I dont. I mean, I remember in Little League when I didnt use anything, I was very happy. When I am emphatic about it, in my personal life, I dont lie to friends of mine. But I can think of a lot of reasons why you dont tell your boss youre doing heroin, and why I lied to Howard Stern. Theres also a misconception I hate that Howard didnt care about me. He tried to get me help. Several times he said to me, Take as long as you want, and when you come back you have a job.

Mandy: So do you think some of the drug abuse comes from massive, massive self-hatred? That was the case for me, I know, and many addicts.

Artie: Thats interesting. Listen, Bernie Brillstein was talking to Norm Macdonald and me once. Hes the legendary manager who managed [John] Belushi, and he managed Chris Farley. And he supposedly said to Belushi and Farleyits funny he had guilt that he said this to Belushi, and 20 years later he said it again to mehe said, Well, whatd you get into show business for? Not to fuck hookers and do drugs? I was brought up on Sam Kinison and Richard Pryor. With Richard Pryor, I wanted to do almost everything he did, short of burning himself. And thats a terrible thing to think, but I got the opportunity, and I made every mistake you could make. I was like, Why not? The first time we went to Las Vegas with Howard, I fucked 11 strippers in four days. We were like the Rolling Stones going in there. Two years on MadTV aint exactly the Rolling Stones. The stuff Ive done with Norm Im so proud of because it was Norm, but it was never like a big hit. Like Dirty Work has become a little bit of a cult thing, which Im proud of. But with the Stern show, this was like rock-star shit. We flew into Vegas on a private jet, and theres a line around the block, and its all for us. Howard is married. Fred is married. Everyones married, and then theres me. The strippers going down her list, and she says, I guess Ill fuck him.

Mandy: Do you still talk to Norm Macdonald?

Artie: We communicate with text, like everybody else. He put a very nice thing in his book about me. He called me the last time, and he said, you gotta stop doing this. He was worried about me. I love Norm. Norm saved my whole career. Out of nowhere. I was about to start driving a cab again. I got the call for Dirty Work, and that led to everything else. Norm. Howard. Quincy Jones, who gave me MadTV. And Judd now. These are famous guys. [Bruce] Springsteen called me. And Apatow said to me, he said, You must be a really bad addict going back to this shit after all these people, your heroes, saved you. Hes right. I mean, Quincy Jones saved my fucking life. He also got me these insane privileges in L.A. County. Like my own shower. And I asked Quincy, How do you have so much sway in prison? He said, I made Thriller.

Mandy: So why do you go back to the drugs after you get clean each time? Is it the boredom?

Artie: Its the anger. Ill give you an example. Its a story I kind of keep on the down-low, but there was this girl that I dated in San Diego. She worked at an agency as an assistant. She was 23. I was 28, and I was on MadTV. And she was pregnantshe got pregnant, found out it was a boy. I was all excited, and she was scared to death because of how I had been living. Me at that age makes this look like Mr. Rogers. So the first place we made out was Zuma Beach, and she said, Lets go to that place. I want to tell you something. Shes crying, and she says, I had an abortion. I was mad, and I said, Why? And she said, You know, Artie, youre going to make your mark in this business, but I hope you do it before you die. And I cant deal with that.

Mandy: So anger is often the cause of relapses for you? Anger at the world?

Artie: It is a strange world. Its like rereading the Unabomber Manifesto its kind of like, I get it now. I dont agree with how he went about it, but he was clearly on the money about technology. Or look at the movie Network. That one scene, he lays everything out about what is to come.

Mandy: When do you find out if youre going to jail?

Artie: Feb. 23. You know, if they want to send me away for being a junkie, thats fine. The judge was very fair. Very smart. I dont know if she was a big fan of mine, but thats all right.

Mandy: When do you think you were happiest in your life?

Artie: You know, its funny. When I was broke, when I left the port as a longshoreman, and I decided to drive into New York City one night, I was 19 years old. When I started doing well, I was driving a cab, I was broke, trying to help my mother out. We were about to lose the house. And I told her I could go back to the port. She said I could keep doing it. But you know, I was happier during the struggle because of hope. I was 23, broke, driving a cab, parking a cab in front of The Comic Strip, which was the first place I passed. I would have [Joe] Matarese or [Dave] Attell watch the car. I was happier then, I swear to God.

Mandy: Hollywood can be fairly crushing. So many transactional relationships and people who dont care if you live or die and want to use you.

Artie: At the Stern show, I saw how toxic that entire environment was. You have some people who are without talent who just leached onto Howard. Talentless guys whose entire life is based on pleasing that one person. I saw people who werent comedians who thought they could sit in that chair and do what I did. When I went down with the heroin thing, they were clearly making statements about it. Like if I died, they would have been almost happy about it, I guarantee it. I saw the sharks swimming like Ive never seen before. I thought I knew a lot about people in a non-naive way coming into that job, but man, the way people wanted what I did for a living. What pissed me off is that they thought they could do it. And you know, theres a reason that chair stayed empty. Im done being humble with some things. That chair isnt empty completely because Howard felt like it; that chair is empty because he knows no one can do what I did. There are people who are funnier than me, but theres no one who would have been as honest, and no one who knows that show better. I left a lot of blood on that fucking floor, man. I told stories that cost me relationships with some people, and I didnt realize it. I almost got arrested. The DEA came to the fucking show because of something I said on the air, in their fucking windbreakers, to grill me about Heath Ledger because they thought we had the same heroin dealer. Im like, Why the fuck do you think that? I guess theres reasons they could. There was a security guy who worked the door, and he saw the whole thing, and he said, Artie, you are one entertaining fuckup.

Mandy: What do you think of Donald Trump, who used to do the Howard Stern Show quite a bit?

Artie: I love Trump. Ive had like four times when I interacted with him. I roasted him. Trump said I was the best of the night, but then Howard is so smart, he told me to tell the joke that was making fun of him in business. I do, and then Trump goes, Artie was the worst of the roast. He bombed. I had a CNN guy call me about it, and I said, Im not doing it. Because Im fucking rooting for him. And I golfed with him and Eli Manning once at his club. I did nothing but laugh along with him. Then I saw him at Howards wedding. Howard had bought out Le Cirque. But it was still small. I had played Carnegie Hall at this point, but it was so nerve-wracking. Billy Joel and his wife were there, two feet from me. Howard. Trump and Melania. Barbara Walters, Joan Rivers, Chevy Chase. It was a tough room, you know. And I killed. The first joke was how much Beth looks like Christie Brinkley, so I made a Billy Joel joke. And thank God he laughed at it. But Howard was drunk, and doing that great Howard laugh. I loved making Howard laugh. But Trump came up to me afterward, because other people spoke and kind of bombed, and he shook my hand, and he said, That was a very hard thing to do, and you were amazing. He respected that even though I look like a slob he could tell I worked hard. Because, yeah, you think I walked into Stern because I won a lottery? So I always respected the guy.

Whether youre for him or not, what he represents is that this country can vote out politicians and elect a game show host because theyre pissed off about stuff. You know, there are two guys on that Billy Bush tape. One guy apologized. The other guy didnt. One guys working at a gift shop in Kennebunkport. The other guys president. The fucking country likes alpha males. The Midwest does, I know that. And the stuff with the Mexicans. He didnt say he hates all Mexicans. He told the truth about the drug problem. How do you think I get dope? Trump just doesnt give a shit. You know, Louis C.K. wrote an op-ed piece, while he was, jerking off next to women, calling Trump Hitler? And its like, Calm the fuck down. It washes down what Hitler did. A guy who let the Mob take away garbage because you have to? The naivete of these people. If you build a building in New York, you have to deal with the Mob. Trump knows that. Ted Cruz lost so many votes during the primaries when he attacked him on that.

Mandy: What do you think of the porn star Stormy Daniels and Trump? I guess he asked her to spank him with a copy of Forbes.

Artie: Well, I think Ive done worse. Comparing him to Harvey Weinstein? Thats a fetish. Listen, if Trump has raped someone, of course I hate his guts.

Mandy: So for you, what has the reaction been to your latest near-death experience? From everything that Ive read on Twitter and Reddit and YouTube, I feel like half the fans are saying, I dont want to watch him kill himself anymore, and like, Ive stopped believing him.

Artie: The fact that I havent got it yet is hard to understand. I think theyre disappointed in me. It was an easier sell at 30 than it was at 50.

Mandy: Whats the best sobriety advice youve received, do you think?

Artie: To not make my Higher Power my career or another human being because it can disappoint you.

Mandy: Do you believe in God? Do you pray?

Artie: You know, Ill give you something Ive never told anybody. So my father was obsessed with Houdini the magician, and Houdini was obsessed with the occult. Houdini always tried to contact the other side, like dead relatives. So Houdini said, If I die, lets have a word. If the psychic tells you the word, you know, we talk. So my father said, when he was lying in bed, he had the plan to kill himself, but I didnt know that. He said, Lets do that. I go, OK. His father, who I never knew, died when he was 11. He got shot in front of him. His father worked at a factory. The Otis Elevator Company in Newark. It was a bookie, I guess. But he said, Lets make it Otis.

So Im in rehab this latest time, several weeks ago. And Im in the van, which the hilarious security guards call The Druggie Buggie. Or The Loser Cruiser, thats what they call it in jail. So Ive just come out of the shit, with the withdrawal part, and I looked better, I guess. It was a beautiful day. Where I went in Connecticut, it was like a Christmas card, it was unbelievably beautiful. And I said, I feel better this time. I felt really good. The sky was clear. I was with people I like, and they both said out of nowhere, I think youre going to make it this time. And I said, I guess I gotta think like that. And I stretched over, and there was a car that said Otis on it. The elevator at the rehab that never broke, they said, when I told them the story, the Otis Elevator Company was repairing the elevator. Listen, I dont believe in any of that shit, but that is the most spiritual thing thats ever happened to me. I tell my mother that, and clearly shes religious, and she goes, Dads talking to you. Im telling you, that was fucking freaky. So you know, just at that moment, when I had hope and I looked up and it was a clear sky and it says Otis, I was just like, Jesus Christ.

Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com/artie-lange-is-not-ready-to-die-fck-em-all

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Artie Lange Is Not Ready to Die: F*ck Em All

Its hard being friends with the notoriously demon-plagued comedian Artie Langewhich, full disclosure, I am. This is in no way objective. I truly want the guy to live.

I first interviewed Lange in 2006 as part of the New York Posts coverage of the annual New York Comedy Festival. He had just sold out Carnegie Hall in a few hours and was on top of the world. Over the next few years, we met at comedy clubs from time to time. I mentioned how healthy he looked in a May 2009 Page Six item about his visiting Colin Quinns one-man show (which he mentioned in his book Crash and Burn). When I interviewed him again on Oct. 30, 2009, it was a longer talk this time, with a few insights that surprised me. He talked about the game comics play of initially sabotaging a set with the audience, then seeing if you can dig yourself out of that hole. I asked if he had ever thought that he might be playing the same game with his own life. You should be a shrink, he said.

Sixty-nine days later, I heard the news, like anyone else who follows Lange: that he was near death after stabbing himself in the stomach nine times with a 13-inch kitchen knife.

Then on Sept. 27, 2010, I got a call from comedian Dan Naturman, who told me all about Arties triumphant return at the Comedy Cellar, which led to an incredibly feel-good lead item in Page Six called: Artie Lange Thrills Audiences Again.

I interviewed him several more times over the years, and when my husband Pat Dixon, who is also a comedian, started his own show in 2015 at Compound Media, run by controversial radio legend Anthony Cumia, I told Artie that he ought to consider joining the network. To my surpriseand unrelated to me telling him that, as the pairing of two Sirius refugees is a no-brainer for anyone who follows shock-jock radioin August 2017, he started a new show with Cumia called The AA Show. Now, not only did Lange have a regular broadcasting outlet, but the HBO series Judd Apatow and Pete Holmes enlisted him in called Crashing, where he played himself, was a bona fide hit. His third book, Wanna Bet?, was inked, his standup was doing well, and so if you were doing any kind of predictive sequence, what happened next was no surprise.

Oct. 16, 2017: Artie Lange rushed to hospital, cancels weekend show. Dec. 13, 2017: Artie Lange Arrested After Missing Court Date for Drug Charges. Dec. 15, 2017: Artie Lange Headed to Rehab on Private Jet After Drug Charge.

Less than a month later, on Jan. 12, Lange returned home to New York and tweeted out to his 364,000 followers: Im back guys. Clean & Sober 32 days.

On Jan. 18, after celebrating Dave Attells birthday (Artie just turned 50 himself), Lange met me in between sets at New York Citys Olive Tree Cafe. To avoid the requests for photos from fans and occasional paparazzi, we sat in his SUV and drove around the city for an hour and a half before returning to the comedy club. With one hand on the steering wheel and one on an unlit Marlboro Red, Lange talked about everything from Harvey Weinstein to Donald Trump to Louis C.K. to Aziz Ansari to the fundamental question at hand:

Artie Lange doesnt want to die… right?

The following interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

Mandy: So I guess Im wondering at what point all of this is enough to get you to stop. Like, for instance, I have a friend who if he did cocaine one more time, the doctors told him his nose would collapse

Artie: Well half of my nose is gone. My nose has no septum. I mean Ive been snorting coke and heroin

Mandy: When was the last time you did coke or heroin?

Artie: Well I just pissed clean at Hazelden so thats 38 days. But heres the thing: 31 of them were in lockdown. So nows the real work. And Im not going to lie to you, its a struggle lying there every night.

Mandy: Whats the longest youve ever been clean?

Artie: Since I was 15, 11 months. And two weeks in my twenties.

Mandy: Do you take, what is it, methadone?

Artie: No, no. I was on methadone years ago. There was a methadone clinic on Eighth and 35th, and I would go there before Howard. They would give it out to me, like special, at 5:30 a.m. I had to stop doing heroin because I was losing my job. They gave me the methadone. Its fucking heroin, basically. I left during interviews to throw up. And I said, Well this is worse than fucking heroin, so why dont I stay on that. I take Suboxone now. Suboxone works well for me, and its accepted by society. It looks like a pill you take for blood pressure every morning, so thats how Ive got to look at it. It lets you not go cold turkey.

Aziz Im sorry is a better name. I dont have any respect for Aziz Ansari. Im glad nobody got raped.

Artie Lange

Mandy: You detoxed cold turkey in jail this last time?

Artie: Ive been in jail like eight times, and this past time, I detoxed. I kicked heroin, like lying on the floor. When I got arraigned, you always want to be very respectful in front of the judge. She was like, What are you doing? And Im thinking to myself, Well, your honor, Im dead. And you know, Im trying to stand up. Withdrawal, the physical stuff, people would see the first or the second day of withdrawals, girlfriends would say, Well, that was really bad. And Im like, You saw the opening act. That was The Clash. That was David Johansen. The Who is about to take the stage. The third or fourth day of heroin withdrawal, if youre a big user like I became, if youre not physically stopped from getting dope, youll get it. With heroin, I became an addict on the road. I always had money. Ive never had to steal. I dont judge those people. Like people say to me, Have you ever blown a guy for heroin? I say, No. But then again, no ones ever asked.

Mandy: If you do fall off the wagon again, are you scared of fentanyl at all?

Artie: No. A real heroin addict is not scared of fentanyl. Id do it in a heartbeat. I want strong shit.

Mandy: Have you seen the tiny amount it takes to kill you?

Artie: I dont know what it is, but draw it back one inch. I would accept fentanyl in a heartbeat. I had a fentanyl patch on in a mental home. It was unbelievable. Ive never ODed. Ive had dealers say, Jesus Christ. What the fuck. But the nose is bad now. I could get a brain infection. If I did it, anything would go right to the brain. But again, I heard that six months ago, and I went and used an hour after.

Mandy: So I mean… you must want to die.

Artie: No, I dont want to die. I want to be high.

Mandy: But that will eventually kill you.

Artie: Im 50. If you would have told me in 1995, if you tried to bring up 2018, it would be like The Jetsons. Id be like, What are you talking about?

Mandy: So youre having fun on borrowed time.

Artie: Im playing with the houses money. As far as Im concerned, Im an overachiever. A lot of money changed hands on the internet when I turned 50. I was so happy. Fuck em all.

Mandy: But I mean… your mom and your sister. Theyre the main people who keep you from wanting to to be reckless with the houses money, right?

Artie: Yes thats the… thats the worst.

Mandy: I called your mom when you were practically in a coma these last few weeks, and her voice was just so heartbroken. I dont think she thought you were going to make it.

Artie: Yeah, you know, my father left us with nothing. I love my dad. He was my best friend. But my father was a criminal. My dad was an impulsive guy, and thats what killed him. Just like my father, with me, there are real high highs and real low lows. Like my mother saw me at Carnegie Hall, when my book went to No. 1 on The New York Times bestseller list, and I think [Barack] Obamas was like No. 7. She has that framed. But then shes also seen me withdrawing in jail.

Mandy: Your mom discovered you when you tried to kill yourself in 2010, right?

Artie: That was not a suicide attempt. I was in such bad withdrawals. Believe me, I leave a note. The one other time, I left a note. But shrinks go, Youve never tried to kill yourself. Because there was always a mountain of drugs involved. I was in such bad withdrawals, I wanted to feel something different. I was by myself. I wanted to lose enough blood to pass out. When I woke up, I dont know, I figured Id put on a red shirt and go out. I didnt know my mother was coming over. They had an intervention planned that I didnt even know about. I go, Ma, you never planned a surprise party.

Mandy: Does your mom talk to you every day?

Artie: Yeah, my mother knows me better than anybody, but I dont tell her when I slip. You know, when Dr. Drew offered me 250 grand to do Celebrity Rehab, I thought to myself, Do I just want to kill my mother now? Like its going to be me and Dennis Rodman throwing up in the same bucket. I love Dr. Drew, but I knew that show was going to go off the air because the recovery rate is like zero. If Pablo Escobar were alive today, hed be running a rehab. Its such a corrupt industry.

Mandy: You seem to still get offered drugs a lot. I think about that scene in Crashing where its the super hot woman from Showgirls who has coke and wants to do it with you.

Artie: Gina Gershon? Yeah, you know, that episode is based on one of my stories. And if the woman who inspired the episode figures it out, shed be very happy with the casting.

Mandy: Do you think it was a good idea to leave rehab early?

Artie: I have to do this intense outpatient thing which is five days a week. I go in there in the morning, and I get piss tests there. Screen Actors Guild doesnt let you do that to people. Like its almost an NFL union. You cant pee-test people. Not that Im complaining about it, but I dont get fired from shows because ultimately its a forgiving business for stuff like that. People always say its a forgiving business. And, its true. Robert Downey Jr. came back, and hes like the best actor ever. But for every one of him, theres like two thousand Jeff Conaways from Taxi living at a right angle and nobody cares and they die alone.

Mandy: Youre just working so much right now.

Artie: The one genre where I have some juice is the radio business, and you know Anthony Cumia, I love Anthony so much now. I never really met him before. Were both sort of outlaws. Without this podcasting technology you know we both would be out of a job now, probably. Its such a weird existence I have right now. Over on one side, Im doing this crazy podcast with Anthony on Compound Media that I love, and then Im on Crashing which is an HBO-produced show I love, but which could not be more the other way. Judd Apatow is another famous guy who saved my life. Like, what a great person. Ive got books and stand-up, and Im still making a lot of money doing it. If thats not going to go away, theres not much of an incentive to stay in rehab.

Mandy: And Im guessing, from what you said, you dont want to leave your mom with nothing. So what about a gig like the one with Anthony Cumia. Is that enabling or is that helping you stay clean?

Artie: Let me tell you something: I love doing it. Its almost like therapy. A lot of people dont understand a comics mind. People are like, Youre going to jump right into stand-up? Yeah, thats what I have to do. I cant stop doing it. And Anthonys show is like from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. Its the most fun Ive ever had in my life. Even more fun than Howard. Because I was never uncensored on Howard. Its his show. Its Howard. So what was happening near the end when his life changed, he would meet somebody in the Hamptons, and we wouldnt know about it. Like me and Fred [Norris, the longest tenured Howard Stern staff member] wouldnt know about it. And then hed be friends with them, like somebody we bashed for 10 years. So Id say something about Richard Gere, and hed go, You got a problem with him? Id go, Havent we always had a problem with him? No, I had dinner with him. Well, can I get the memo? I dont give a shit. Ill put him on the fucking list. But I wouldnt not be able to make fun of Orlando Bloom. The show, I couldnt be on now. And he knew that.

Mandy: Anthony probably does a better Howard impression than Howard at this point.

Artie: Well the thing about Anthony is that hes the same guy off-air. But its not true for Howard. Howards a very fascinating guy. He must have an IQ north of 180. But the example I always use is that Hunter S. Thompson was a guy who destroyed like the wealthy and corporate America, and he walked the walk until the end of his life. He was a crazy maniac in Colorado and shot himself in the head. And Howard was like that for a while. He was making fun of all these people, and when he got a chancelike no one else has become an A-list person through the radiobut when he got a chance to be with those people, fans thought hes going to be like Hunter S. Thompson. Like you see them through the window eating, and hes going to bust through the window or moon them or something. And when he got the chance, like Jennifer Anistons wedding, he starts making out with Orlando Bloom.

Mandy: Metaphorically.

Artie: Right. And to me as a fan, its like, what the fuck have we been laughing at all this time? Me and my first girlfriend at the time Dana [Sironi], she was close with Beth [Ostrosky Stern]. And Beth is a sweetheart. I dont want to make it sound like Im bitter. I still love Howard.

Mandy: Who are the people from the Stern show you keep in touch with?

Artie: Well, theyre not allowed to call me. I swear to God, Ive had people tell me from the show they were worried they were talking to me. Look, Im a person whos impulsive, and I get very angry and I say things I shouldnt say. Its hurt me my whole life, and Im a junkie.

Mandy: You tweeted a few days ago, Look out Marci. Im talking to Howard without your permission, referring to his high-profile handler Marci Turk. Did you actually talk to Howard Stern?

Artie: No, I dont talk to Howard. We hate each others guts. He cant stand me for some reason, and Ive learned to hate him.

Mandy: Whats your reaction to Louis C.K.? And now everyones talking about the story that was written about Aziz Ansari.

Artie: Aziz Im sorry is a better name. I dont have any respect for Aziz Ansari. Im glad nobody got raped. But you know, I agree with Samantha Bee when she says it doesnt have to be rape to ruin somebodys life. Thats true. And what Louis did is despicable. That was a rumor for a long time. But if youre a couple of women at the Aspen Comedy Festival, youve got a lot going on, probably. And theres this comedian, who back then he wasnt famous, but hes always been respected, and they certainly knew him. And hes promising them shit supposedly, and its just because he wants to jerk off in front of them. Its just the creepiest thing ever. Louis was always overrated to me. He has like five jokes hes written that I like. But you know Ill go along with it, if it gets me spots. I just think hes overrated. To me, it was like the emperors new clothes came off. In the hotel room.

Mandy: Have you had any women approach you with any kind of Me Too moment, something they wanted to confront you about?

Artie: A girl? No. I mean, some people think Im a misogynist because of stuff on the Stern show. You know Ive never told anybody this, but this is how my family feels about sex predators: After I told my father about a high-school teacher hurting a girl I knew, the way my dad dealt with it was by waiting outside the teachers house, putting a bag over the guys head, and leaving him in a car for two days. My dad came back, disguised his voice, and he said, Stop fucking touching little girls. Im not condoning how he handled it, but thats just the truth. My father thought that was justified. You know, there are people who think Goodfellas is horrible. We think its a comedy. My momshe is the strongest woman in my lifeand she and my sister are my heroes. Any woman whos ever dated me will tell you, Im like, Are you sure? Can we get this in writing and an email from you? I think in Hollywood, its a case of these nerdy guys who dont know what to do with a woman, and they get a chance to do it, and they do something inappropriate. Like Ive never been a Casanova but Ive always been able to get a date. I think the more time you stay asexual in your adult life, you get creepier.

Mandy: Ive had several comics over the years tell me about their personal dislike for Aziz based on his standoffish behavior. Do you think theres any schadenfreude right now as he is coming under fire?

Artie: Im probably one of those guys. I thought he could follow me on Bitter. I dont like bashing of comedians in general. I hated the Dane Cook-bashing thing. And Dane goes on to make all that money, and that bitterness comes out. Then his brother steals millions of dollars from him. I wish Dane well. And you know, I think Aziz gets a lot of that bitterness, too. You know, his timing is perfect for comedy. But what he does at the Comedy Cellar is not going to endear him to anybody. What he does there, he sits in the corner like a young Dylan writing jokes, and he can do that at home. We get it. Youre a hard worker. But I guess were going to have to get over that, because a new generation of people is coming.

I think he was trying to figure out a way to get rid of me. I did the job for him, but I dont think he was rooting for it.

Artie Lange on Howard Stern

Mandy: Do you think that Crashing captures the changing culture in comedy at all?

Artie: Judd is so great at what he does, and so is Pete [Holmes]. The way Judd lets you improvise, and the money… see Ive never been involved in something that you might call a hit. Except the Stern show, but that was very different. Judd is so successful. The money HBO is spending. They shot it like a playyou dont have to do over-the-shoulder stuff. And the way that I talk and work, it was way better for me. Judd knew that. Like the scene in the pizzeria, Judd read my book, which was flattering, and he said, Just tell me stories about your life, about what can happen off-stage, so like the ghost of Christmas future. Comedy future. I think its great, because Judd lets us talk.

Mandy: I was relistening today to your very first Howard Stern appearance. And Stern is joking, saying, You need coke. Youre a lot better on it. He also says, Go out and get into more trouble, and well have you back on.

Artie: I know. But you cant blame anyone else for any of this. Howards genius is seeing which way the wind is blowing in society and acting accordingly. I think he noticed after the Janet Jackson thing, we started getting fined for stupid shit. Were getting $500,000 fines for jokes Im making about farting. The guy is a genius at marketing and comedymore so in marketing. I think he saw over time the way the show was going, and that it would not be conducive to have me on it. But he also knew that I was popular. I think he was trying to figure out a way to get rid of me. I did the job for him, but I dont think he was rooting for it. I think he conquered that era of radio with me. I wouldnt fit in now at all. I cant stand Gwyneth Paltrow. The contrast between the old shows is crazy. Like if you listen to shows we did of us talking about Jennifer Aniston or Ellen DeGeneres dancing in the 2000s. He said Aniston was a cunt. Even I was like, Jesus, it must be personal. Now he goes to her wedding.

Mandy: So whats going on with your health? The diabetes has gotten really bad? Have you had to amputate anything?

Artie: God no. The rumors have gotten really bad, havent they? No, the diabetes is under control every time I go to the hospital. But the thing is, its a confusing disease. One day a Twinkie could save your life, and another day it could kill you. Im not a good preparer so thats why I was bad in school. I was like, Lets get the fuck out of here and get to life. Which comedy lets you do. But yeah, with diabetes, youre supposed to measure your blood sugar every time before you eat. Im like, What the fuck, are you kidding me? Im going to take my blood sugar in the parking lot of McDonalds? Its bad, but when I go to the hospital they get me under control. So now its under control. Its fine, actually. But you know, give me two months out of the hospital and my blood sugar is higher than my credit score. Thats the signifier of a loser. They also put me on the liver list. I needed a new liver. But I went to a medical clinic someone recommended, and they gave me this special shit they put in the saline, it cost like $80,000, and my liver enzymes were like 900, which is like Mickey Mantle at the end of his life. And it went to normal, completely normal. My kidneys, my liver are all fine. The doctor said, Youve got the bloodwork, despite the diabetes, of an Olympic athlete.

Mandy: Have you thought about going down to Hippocrates Health Institute, where a lot of entertainment industry people have gone?

Artie: I did that once. Yeah, my sister found out about it. You need a prescription for an apple. I ran away from that in 2008. Howard said, go away for as long as you need to. Eight days in with these two other guys who were Stern fans who would have done anything for me, we just escaped in the one guys car. I got a $3,500 room at the Setai in South Beach, and I got a hooker and a bunch of pancakes. And I called into the show and said I have whiskey and pancakes with this Ecuadorian hooker, and he put me on the air. So I left early from that, and I was out of control. And Howard didnt think I was going to die or anything. You know, Chris Rock came in once and said, Howard, I think youve got to fire Artie. I love him. But he needs consequences.

Mandy: I guess my take is, from observing you from afar, youve said, Im clean so many times, and that youre always somebody who is going to use.

Artie: People think that I want to be someone who uses. I dont. I mean, I remember in Little League when I didnt use anything, I was very happy. When I am emphatic about it, in my personal life, I dont lie to friends of mine. But I can think of a lot of reasons why you dont tell your boss youre doing heroin, and why I lied to Howard Stern. Theres also a misconception I hate that Howard didnt care about me. He tried to get me help. Several times he said to me, Take as long as you want, and when you come back you have a job.

Mandy: So do you think some of the drug abuse comes from massive, massive self-hatred? That was the case for me, I know, and many addicts.

Artie: Thats interesting. Listen, Bernie Brillstein was talking to Norm Macdonald and me once. Hes the legendary manager who managed [John] Belushi, and he managed Chris Farley. And he supposedly said to Belushi and Farleyits funny he had guilt that he said this to Belushi, and 20 years later he said it again to mehe said, Well, whatd you get into show business for? Not to fuck hookers and do drugs? I was brought up on Sam Kinison and Richard Pryor. With Richard Pryor, I wanted to do almost everything he did, short of burning himself. And thats a terrible thing to think, but I got the opportunity, and I made every mistake you could make. I was like, Why not? The first time we went to Las Vegas with Howard, I fucked 11 strippers in four days. We were like the Rolling Stones going in there. Two years on MadTV aint exactly the Rolling Stones. The stuff Ive done with Norm Im so proud of because it was Norm, but it was never like a big hit. Like Dirty Work has become a little bit of a cult thing, which Im proud of. But with the Stern show, this was like rock-star shit. We flew into Vegas on a private jet, and theres a line around the block, and its all for us. Howard is married. Fred is married. Everyones married, and then theres me. The strippers going down her list, and she says, I guess Ill fuck him.

Mandy: Do you still talk to Norm Macdonald?

Artie: We communicate with text, like everybody else. He put a very nice thing in his book about me. He called me the last time, and he said, you gotta stop doing this. He was worried about me. I love Norm. Norm saved my whole career. Out of nowhere. I was about to start driving a cab again. I got the call for Dirty Work, and that led to everything else. Norm. Howard. Quincy Jones, who gave me MadTV. And Judd now. These are famous guys. [Bruce] Springsteen called me. And Apatow said to me, he said, You must be a really bad addict going back to this shit after all these people, your heroes, saved you. Hes right. I mean, Quincy Jones saved my fucking life. He also got me these insane privileges in L.A. County. Like my own shower. And I asked Quincy, How do you have so much sway in prison? He said, I made Thriller.

Mandy: So why do you go back to the drugs after you get clean each time? Is it the boredom?

Artie: Its the anger. Ill give you an example. Its a story I kind of keep on the down-low, but there was this girl that I dated in San Diego. She worked at an agency as an assistant. She was 23. I was 28, and I was on MadTV. And she was pregnantshe got pregnant, found out it was a boy. I was all excited, and she was scared to death because of how I had been living. Me at that age makes this look like Mr. Rogers. So the first place we made out was Zuma Beach, and she said, Lets go to that place. I want to tell you something. Shes crying, and she says, I had an abortion. I was mad, and I said, Why? And she said, You know, Artie, youre going to make your mark in this business, but I hope you do it before you die. And I cant deal with that.

Mandy: So anger is often the cause of relapses for you? Anger at the world?

Artie: It is a strange world. Its like rereading the Unabomber Manifesto its kind of like, I get it now. I dont agree with how he went about it, but he was clearly on the money about technology. Or look at the movie Network. That one scene, he lays everything out about what is to come.

Mandy: When do you find out if youre going to jail?

Artie: Feb. 23. You know, if they want to send me away for being a junkie, thats fine. The judge was very fair. Very smart. I dont know if she was a big fan of mine, but thats all right.

Mandy: When do you think you were happiest in your life?

Artie: You know, its funny. When I was broke, when I left the port as a longshoreman, and I decided to drive into New York City one night, I was 19 years old. When I started doing well, I was driving a cab, I was broke, trying to help my mother out. We were about to lose the house. And I told her I could go back to the port. She said I could keep doing it. But you know, I was happier during the struggle because of hope. I was 23, broke, driving a cab, parking a cab in front of The Comic Strip, which was the first place I passed. I would have [Joe] Matarese or [Dave] Attell watch the car. I was happier then, I swear to God.

Mandy: Hollywood can be fairly crushing. So many transactional relationships and people who dont care if you live or die and want to use you.

Artie: At the Stern show, I saw how toxic that entire environment was. You have some people who are without talent who just leached onto Howard. Talentless guys whose entire life is based on pleasing that one person. I saw people who werent comedians who thought they could sit in that chair and do what I did. When I went down with the heroin thing, they were clearly making statements about it. Like if I died, they would have been almost happy about it, I guarantee it. I saw the sharks swimming like Ive never seen before. I thought I knew a lot about people in a non-naive way coming into that job, but man, the way people wanted what I did for a living. What pissed me off is that they thought they could do it. And you know, theres a reason that chair stayed empty. Im done being humble with some things. That chair isnt empty completely because Howard felt like it; that chair is empty because he knows no one can do what I did. There are people who are funnier than me, but theres no one who would have been as honest, and no one who knows that show better. I left a lot of blood on that fucking floor, man. I told stories that cost me relationships with some people, and I didnt realize it. I almost got arrested. The DEA came to the fucking show because of something I said on the air, in their fucking windbreakers, to grill me about Heath Ledger because they thought we had the same heroin dealer. Im like, Why the fuck do you think that? I guess theres reasons they could. There was a security guy who worked the door, and he saw the whole thing, and he said, Artie, you are one entertaining fuckup.

Mandy: What do you think of Donald Trump, who used to do the Howard Stern Show quite a bit?

Artie: I love Trump. Ive had like four times when I interacted with him. I roasted him. Trump said I was the best of the night, but then Howard is so smart, he told me to tell the joke that was making fun of him in business. I do, and then Trump goes, Artie was the worst of the roast. He bombed. I had a CNN guy call me about it, and I said, Im not doing it. Because Im fucking rooting for him. And I golfed with him and Eli Manning once at his club. I did nothing but laugh along with him. Then I saw him at Howards wedding. Howard had bought out Le Cirque. But it was still small. I had played Carnegie Hall at this point, but it was so nerve-wracking. Billy Joel and his wife were there, two feet from me. Howard. Trump and Melania. Barbara Walters, Joan Rivers, Chevy Chase. It was a tough room, you know. And I killed. The first joke was how much Beth looks like Christie Brinkley, so I made a Billy Joel joke. And thank God he laughed at it. But Howard was drunk, and doing that great Howard laugh. I loved making Howard laugh. But Trump came up to me afterward, because other people spoke and kind of bombed, and he shook my hand, and he said, That was a very hard thing to do, and you were amazing. He respected that even though I look like a slob he could tell I worked hard. Because, yeah, you think I walked into Stern because I won a lottery? So I always respected the guy.

Whether youre for him or not, what he represents is that this country can vote out politicians and elect a game show host because theyre pissed off about stuff. You know, there are two guys on that Billy Bush tape. One guy apologized. The other guy didnt. One guys working at a gift shop in Kennebunkport. The other guys president. The fucking country likes alpha males. The Midwest does, I know that. And the stuff with the Mexicans. He didnt say he hates all Mexicans. He told the truth about the drug problem. How do you think I get dope? Trump just doesnt give a shit. You know, Louis C.K. wrote an op-ed piece, while he was, jerking off next to women, calling Trump Hitler? And its like, Calm the fuck down. It washes down what Hitler did. A guy who let the Mob take away garbage because you have to? The naivete of these people. If you build a building in New York, you have to deal with the Mob. Trump knows that. Ted Cruz lost so many votes during the primaries when he attacked him on that.

Mandy: What do you think of the porn star Stormy Daniels and Trump? I guess he asked her to spank him with a copy of Forbes.

Artie: Well, I think Ive done worse. Comparing him to Harvey Weinstein? Thats a fetish. Listen, if Trump has raped someone, of course I hate his guts.

Mandy: So for you, what has the reaction been to your latest near-death experience? From everything that Ive read on Twitter and Reddit and YouTube, I feel like half the fans are saying, I dont want to watch him kill himself anymore, and like, Ive stopped believing him.

Artie: The fact that I havent got it yet is hard to understand. I think theyre disappointed in me. It was an easier sell at 30 than it was at 50.

Mandy: Whats the best sobriety advice youve received, do you think?

Artie: To not make my Higher Power my career or another human being because it can disappoint you.

Mandy: Do you believe in God? Do you pray?

Artie: You know, Ill give you something Ive never told anybody. So my father was obsessed with Houdini the magician, and Houdini was obsessed with the occult. Houdini always tried to contact the other side, like dead relatives. So Houdini said, If I die, lets have a word. If the psychic tells you the word, you know, we talk. So my father said, when he was lying in bed, he had the plan to kill himself, but I didnt know that. He said, Lets do that. I go, OK. His father, who I never knew, died when he was 11. He got shot in front of him. His father worked at a factory. The Otis Elevator Company in Newark. It was a bookie, I guess. But he said, Lets make it Otis.

So Im in rehab this latest time, several weeks ago. And Im in the van, which the hilarious security guards call The Druggie Buggie. Or The Loser Cruiser, thats what they call it in jail. So Ive just come out of the shit, with the withdrawal part, and I looked better, I guess. It was a beautiful day. Where I went in Connecticut, it was like a Christmas card, it was unbelievably beautiful. And I said, I feel better this time. I felt really good. The sky was clear. I was with people I like, and they both said out of nowhere, I think youre going to make it this time. And I said, I guess I gotta think like that. And I stretched over, and there was a car that said Otis on it. The elevator at the rehab that never broke, they said, when I told them the story, the Otis Elevator Company was repairing the elevator. Listen, I dont believe in any of that shit, but that is the most spiritual thing thats ever happened to me. I tell my mother that, and clearly shes religious, and she goes, Dads talking to you. Im telling you, that was fucking freaky. So you know, just at that moment, when I had hope and I looked up and it was a clear sky and it says Otis, I was just like, Jesus Christ.

Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com/artie-lange-is-not-ready-to-die-fck-em-all

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