#ive always related to toga because i always want to BE the person i love

[alex-rambles]

Guys I need help I'm over here simping for William Afton 💀😭😭

Read tags if you want to hear me infodump about myself

[scattered-irises]

LONG AWAITED CONCLUSION TO THAT ZEXAL PHILOSOPHICAL CHAT I POSTED A YEAR (or two) AGO

Part i

Basically, the theory is: Tron is a figment of the Arclights’ imagination and it’s actually just Byron going around messing everything up. Tron is a symbol of the corruption of the Arclights. 

****

And so, I pose you this question, Phosphorous. What if Tron never existed and was just a metaphorical representation for Byron's hatred and anger? What if the Barian World hadn't done anything to him and instead, just made him an angrier old man? So instead of this creepy, laughing child, we have this creepy man who goes around ruining people's lives for the sake of his revenge. 

The child is just something the Arclight brothers made up because they couldn't stand the fact that their father had become like that. But that was why they still followed him. Because he was still their father.

I see your point there. It has plausibility, muses Phosphorous. 

The reason why Tron erased their old names was because it was a way for all of them to disassociate their current selves with their past selves. They have changed too much to be considered Byron, Christopher, Thomas and Michael anymore. Christopher has turned extremely cold and calculating compared to his happier, gentle brother attitude when he was younger.

And Thomas...the poor child. He used to be a happy boy that teased his younger sibling but as IV, he masks himself as a happy celebrity loved by all in the world and underneath that mask is a sadistic monster and underneath that mask is a son that just desperately wants his father back and will do anything to get it and underneath that mask is a lonely young man who wishes to be understood.

Arguably, Michael is the one who remains closest to his original self. He's still the beloved younger brother and like when they were younger, still has a close relationship with Thomas. But he's cracked beneath his placid smile and gentle nature. When angered, he lashes out terribly and like Thomas, will do anything, even murder, to achieve his family's goals.

And so, one could argue that Tron is basically just an overall representation that their family has changed for the worse.

“How much autonomy do the brothers have? and how do they relate to others as they attempt to fulfill their families goals?” poses Phosphorous.

  Ah, ah. An insightful query, my friend. They are pretty much never seen doing things of their own free will. Even when it seems like they are enjoying themselves (I.E III sneaking into Yuma's house to eat lunch and meet him. It actually was just a scouting mission on his family's next target), their actions are meant to serve ulterior motives. In the end, all of the things they do is in the name of serving the family. 

A somewhat random note, Christopher looks at Thomas with contempt. They're basically polar opposites (But not really. Once Christopher gets emotional, he's just as broken and destructive as Thomas). 

Thomas has a grudging respect for Christopher because a part of him still recognizes him as his older brother. 

Christopher seems to care a bit more for Michael, but when Michael was being tortured, he watched the scene at the insistence of Tron. At the end of it though, he turns away, hinting at a bit of a conscience. 

It's Thomas and Michael that are more of a sibling relationship. This is most likely because they have spent all of their lives together while Christopher had been absent for 5 years from their lives. He was gone when Thomas was 12 all the way to when he turned 17 and Michael was 10 and is now 15

Thomas genuinely cares for Michael, going as far as to shout at Tron for treating his brother like that. Christopher immediately silences him. 

Michael also returns that gesture, although less because he ended up falling into a coma before we could see more. 

“Yet all three are, at least at times, willing participants in Tron's schemes?”

Yes, my fellow thinker. Christopher is the most loyal one. He never questions Tron’s orders. Michael will go with his father in hopes that he will get his family back. He is Tron's favorite because he is a "gentle and obedient child." I find it quite sad how, although Christopher is the most loyal one to the cause, he isn’t the favorite. I suppose it is also because I am the eldest of three, yet am not as favored as the youngest. 

“The youngest seems to be favored most of the time,” muses Phosphorous as they look out at the tumultuous Barian sea. 

It's Thomas that sometimes goes out of line. He's the strongest of the brothers, but Tron is always saying that he is the weakest. It is most likely the fear of Thomas realizing that he's actually powerful and could turn on Tron. Hence, that is why Tron says he trusts no one.

Phosphorous stands, overlooking the gloomy landscape of crystals. 

“So each and every one is then beholden to this idea of what? A happy family? Or just something different than their current state of affairs? Do all the brothers truly share this idea of a return to a happy family? Or do they don't even know that that looks like and just want something to change?”

In short:

Tron: Kill my murderers and I'll become your happy ol' dad again and we can go back to England and do happy British people stuff

Sons: Uh sure okay

Personally, I think they all know to an extent that they're deluding themselves

They're just ambling down this path of lies because the brothers are desperate to have a place to belong to after being separated for so long

But you might have a point that they might not even know what a truly happy family is anymore.

“So it's like they're chasing something that doesn't exist then?”

Exactly. Much like the couple that was running to the end of the rainbow. They are chasing a boat that has already long passed by. After all of the things Tron did to them, I'm sure they all know that they will never be "normal" and "happy" again.

“So under your theory, Tron doesn't truly exist, or at least is highly metaphorical, which makes all of their struggles self-inflicted and their delusions even more deep.”

Quite perceptive of you. Tron does exist, but he's basically Byron but meaner. They merely use the child with the ruined face to cover up the fact that their father has turned into a monster.

"Hey so dad's gone nuts but let's pretend it's a weird little boy who's nuts so it takes a bit of the pain away."

“Ah, so then they could say "Tron" instead of ‘Father.’”

Yes, exactly. They almost never address Tron as father. They only talk of their father in the past tense.

“But then,” proposes Phosphorous, dramatically turning back to me. “Why would they care so much for the new names they received? Or do they not care for them?”

Those names have become a part of their identities. They use it to cope with the fact that they've all gone south personality-wise. Thomas even uses IV as his celebrity name, perhaps as a sign that he does not recognize his celebrity persona as his true self.

Phosphorous takes in a deep breath, the acidic breeze rustling their toga. Their eyes meet mine own with a sharpness that I had always so admired.

  “So these new names, they're basically masks, but do they disassociate themselves from their new identities the same way they do with Tron and their Father, or do they still think of themselves as fundamentally themselves, just forced to do things they wouldn't normally do? Though I would assume each brother is affected differently by their mask,” says my friend as they begin to pace.

Ah, they still view Tron as their father (A leader) but deep down they probably don't want to put two and two together. So it's a superficial belief of "We fight for Tron (our father but let’s not think about that.)"

Either that or,

They are fighting for their Father,

 who is basically just an idea of a happy family now whilst Tron

represents a bad family.

Onto your second point, the brothers fit into their masks to different extents.

Michael doesn't seem to mind III for they appear to have the same personality, save for III's destructive tendencies.

When Christopher is reunited with his student that he abandoned and is called Christopher, he sadly smiles and says. 

"It's been a long time since someone has called me that"

And Thomas probably has an extremely difficult time taking off his mask after wearing it for so long in front of so many people

“So then do their numbered names also represent a bad family? also why do they start at three, like why not 1,2,3 instead of 3,4,5?”

I still don’t understand why it’s 3 4 5 (Nor does anyone else, for that matter.), however, their numbers are probably how Tron sees them. From his scientific background, he probably just sees his son as pieces of useful data he can use to his advantage.

“Hm, the only thing I could think of for the numbers was that Tron was somehow including him and the boys' mother in his count, like their the first two so that's why it starts at three, which is something you probably already thought about,” theorizes Phosphorous futilely.

Perhaps the numbers are used as place holders. They are not Christopher, Thomas and Michael. They are merely placeholders for when Christopher, Thomas and Michael return. When their family is whole again...

“But if the numbers are place-holders then so is the name ‘Tron,’” concludes Phosphorous.

Indeed.

“But I wonder if the brothers associate the numbers with Tron, like the numbers aren't really them, just a means to an end that will be removed when they get their father back, or if they're deluding themselves,” muses my friend.

Yes, the numbers are most likely temporary to them. Christopher is deluding himself.

He knows that he’s Christopher under V’s cold exterior. Same for Thomas and Michael. They are a family of delusions, united under the promise of a better tomorrow that will never arrive. 

  And so I thank you, for bearing with me. 

  Without ceremony, Phosphorus walks away from the crystal cliff, leaving me. I stare into the depths of the sea of ill intent and allow the sounds of the waves crashing against the crystal to overtake me. Closing my eyes, I begin to meditate. 

  Thus we conclude our bout of philosophy and ardent beard stroking. 

[ririnpoga]

Ok anyways yeah 2 am. And i just. Rambling timee

This will most def be gone tomorrow but anyways

Most of the time ive been called a villain apologist and ykw? Yeah, i am

I never felt a big enough attachment to the pure and morally white heroes, not at all. Their actions never really hitted me the way that someone who was opressed by society fighting for their own ideals hitted. In one hand you had a person with the upper hand, fighting for something the entire society believed was right, while the other fought for something they believed would be better, and i do think this is also the approach id have towards stuff anyways, because i don't want rules being pushed onto me

I wanted to form my *own* living world, and in a sense i feel this is one of the reasons of why i just. Really enjoy toga and dabi as characters

And even when they actually are fully evil? They're still great and a lot of fun! Sure, i can't fully relate but there's something so great about a villain who acts this way just because they *can*!

Still, people always told me i was in the wrong for this, and i think this is where came a very specific love and interest of mine: blank characters. Characters who have nothing on them, you are the one writing them and their story, be it on a game, story, series or anything else! They just feel so much more interesting than this because they arent someone who will be the same for everyone, and while my first experience with such a thing were rpg maker games like Ib and Yume Nikki, where the character didn't really have a strong personality and could have been seen as different interpretations... I think there's two main points i had during my life with these blank characters: undertale and vocaloid

Let me start talking by the possible simplest one to understand: all the frisk's and chara's are different from others in undertale, they're never the same. Someone can see chara as the villain who made frisk kill everyone, other sees chara as a traumatized child who watched *you*, the player, kill everyone important to them. They're blank characters, frisk themselves has no personality at *all*, just following your instructions at the game to complete it with no problems and finish a pacifist, neutral or genocide route. ALL of these frisks are different, and i think that's most noticeable by your "level" in the game, it shows that yes, it's still frisk, but something is different: they arent "good" anymore, but morally grey

They were a blank state, and you ended up filling frisk with blood

And i think this was the first time a blank character ended up getting a LOT of attention from media. Undertale is honestly amazing and i never understood why i felt so much attachment to it and these two specific characters until recently: they dont have a fixed personality, im the one who's supposed to interpret them however i want

... but then i think about vocaloid in general

People never understood when i said that "miku is one of my favorite characters" — even if that was a lie, because my favorite vocaloid is another one, miku is still extremely special to me

And why? A lot of people ask, she doesnt has any personality at all at first view, being portrayed as this cute girl or just sad teen in other songs is not like she had a fixed personality, right?

Except this is exactly why i love vocaloid as a whole, in a way

None of the characters here have a fixed and fully developed personality going for them. Sure, there are some stereotypes for some vocaloids, but they have almost 0 canon background, on some we know their profession or favorite food and that stuff but they have *no* story or personality at all... And that's what made me love them so closely

Am i feeling sad? There will be a song that i could listen to, no problem. Am i happy? Hell, let me fucking blast mitchie m and dance. Am i just feeling numb and close to dissociating? No problem, i can listen to some of wowaka's amazing work and slowly come back from it

I had everything, even when i was 9 years and just learned about it — the full range of musical styles and composers never left me, specially my favorite ones with the exception new voices — both as vocaloids and composers — came into scene, hell, i'll never forget the shock it was when i first saw my personal fave kwbdkdh

Still, i can never explain to people why it's so important to me

A community where people arent afraid to make songs about controversial and somewhat heavy topics, but still lighthearted and fun most times, with amazing artists and being the sole reason i went back to doing professional dance...

Still, i can *never* find the words

I guess that just comes with liking blank characters after all, they dont have something fix to them, people are the one who write them, and you cant do anything but end up attaching to your own personal idea of them

Anyways yeah sibdksjs 2 am i should sleep by

[edwardslostalchemy]

My Hero Academia. Shinkami(if you ship it). Dabi. (For the ask meme. You don't have to so all three if you don't want to).

(I want to do all three, though, so thank you!!)

001 | BNHA

Favorite character: Shouto Todoroki!!! But he is tied with Izuku Midoriya!!!

Least Favorite character: Oof um, a tie between endeav*r, m*neta, that yoshi guy, the one with the wind and is obnoxious and loud and made my baby fail his test, fuck that guy. 

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): TodoDeku, KiriBaku, Iichako, Toshinko, EraserMic

Character I find most attractive: OOF Hawks. He has no business being that handsome. 

Character I would marry: Eraserhead!!! I already married him!!! He’s my husband!!!!

Character I would be best friends with: Izuku or Ochako, probably. We have the same bubbly, cheery energy.

a random thought: I always think about how All Might eats and how he is STILL ALIVE after having his respiratory system destroyed and losing his whole stomach. Does he have an oxygen mask? A ventilator? Does he do tube feeding??? total parenteral/IV?? How is this man still alive?? Does OFA keep him alive? If so, when he loses OFA, does he gradually start to waste away?? What is the logic behind this?? Please someone answer me, I am losing my MIND.

An unpopular opinion: Hero society is pretty fucked up and the government should get new laws to protect the quirkless and punish people for quirkless discrimination (I’m looking at you, Katsuki, you fucking gremlin).

My Canon OTP: TodoDeku is canon to me bc I have control of the series, I nerfed Horikoshi in the face and yeeted him out the window son now I call the Shots. 

My Non-canon OTP: ToshInko!!!!! They!!!! Are married!!!!

Most Badass Character: Gotta give it to Eraserhead. That guy took on like 100 villains at a time. His entire character screams cat person who doesn’t want to be here, but he is probably the embodiment of what it means to be a hero besides All Might and Izuku. Selfless, doesn’t need to announce what he’s gonna do and doesn’t seek attention. He just does the right thing because it’s what he believes. 

Most Epic Villain: OOF I love Hero Killer: Stain. I know we’ve gotten our segment of villains and hooray Shiggy got his backstory, and yeah we have AFO, but AFO is a bitch who can kiss my ass. I love HKS. He’s twisted, but wants to correct society. I gotta respect his ideals. 

Pairing I am not a fan of: todo//–//momo, get that away from me. I’m also losing interest in izu//–//ocha. 

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Um, just the creation of M*neta is screw up enough, please delete him from existence. 

Favourite Friendship: DekuSquad!!!! Izuku, Tenya, Ochako, Shouto, and Tsu

Character I most identify with: Shouto!!! [Warning: I’m going to talk about my experience and trauma!!!] I don’t know how this happened…my parents aren’t abusive, but I’ve gone through a lot of shit like sexual assault (which I’ve been told can be labeled as abuse), but not from my parents. Also sexual harassment. So I have a lot of trauma and flashbacks. And I can relate to Shouto’s resentment to his abuser. Even after years of therapy and even confronting the person that hurt me, I still resent him and have murder fantasies. This whole thing about Endeav*r getting a redemption arc sounds nice and all and whatever, but even if he does get to change, he’s still going to be the same person or it’s going to be a part of his character. I’ve been away from the person that hurt me and he’s apologized and said he’d make it up to me and support me, but he’s still an ass and has had similar behaviors…just not what he did to me with others. It’s complicated to explain, but I just really relate to Shouto a lot. 

Character I wish I could be: Momo. She’s perfect. 

002 | ShinKami

When I started shipping them: After reading the chapter where they team up for the joint training!!!

My thoughts: I think it’s a very cute ship and can balance each other out. Sunshine character x Stoiic/grouchy character is my weakness.

What makes me happy about them: Denki is adorable and I think he’d just be that ray of sunshine for Hitoshi. They’ve very different characters, but that’s not a bad thing at all. They really balance each other out. 

What makes me sad about them: I can’t think of anything sad about them?? I guess just wanting more interactions between them would be great!!!

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I haven’t read fanfics for them, sorry hhhhh

Things I look for in fanfic: Denki getting to be himself and not feel self-conscious or anything while Hitoshi is also himself and they get to bond over things like their quirks being unconventional even though they’re powerful.

My wishlist: MORE INTERACTIONS, @HORIKOSHI RELEASE THE BEES

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Ummm, I like Denki with Mina and also Jirou and Sero. Hitoshi, I like him with Mei, too. 

My happily ever after for them: A badass crime fighting hero duo that fight villains. Hitoshi punches a villain in the face, Denki shocks them. Hitoshi carries Denki. The sunset is beautiful. They get married. 

003 | Dabi

How I feel about this character: I really like him!!!! He’s probably my favorite villain besides Stain. 

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Hawks…that’s it. 

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: I like his interactions with Toga, Twice, and Shigaraki. Also!!! Give us that backstory, @Horikoshi!!!! REL EASE THE BE E S. 

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don’t have one right now hhh

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Horikoshi confirming he’s Touya. 

Favorite friendship for this character: Dabi and Twice, but he doesn’t really stick around with people enough to make friends with them so uhhhh. 

My crossover ship: Crossover ship as in fandom crossover? Umm, Dabi and Tikki Mik from D.Gray-Man would be interesting. He and Tikki feel like the same character to me, though lmfao. 

[idsimpforhim]

𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝑹𝑬𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑺 𝑨𝑹𝑬:   ✔️ 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 💚

𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐍: i have decided to open up requests on the off chance getting some good drabbles out will jump start my inspiration to write again, so if youd like to help me get motivated enough to actually write my fics some requests would be greatly appreciated!

𝒈𝒖𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒔:

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 : - ask for bnha and bnha related content - keep asks pretty open ended so ive got some room to work with - keep your expectations for length pretty low, because unless it really sparks some joy in me im not gonna write 1.5k oneshots for every req. hopefully. it gets away from me sometimes - do whatever you want in regards to reblogs/likes/tags! i promise i GREATLY ENJOY what some people refer to as “spam liking” and stuff, please like and reblog as much as you want! and talking in the tags is not only a HUGE serotonin boost for me, it is also something i do very frequently, so i promise i definitely dont mind!

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐂𝐀𝐍 : - send reqs for any pairing you like (within reason, im not crossing age boundaries or doing incest), even (and ESPECIALLY) rare pairs ! - send reqs for nonpairing fic! - send nsfw reqs, BUT im probably less likely to fill these cause i gotta be struck w actual inspiration to really write nsfw - sign your anon asks (if you want!) so i know when prompts come from the same person. it is also cute - request i answer (i will only do this for asks i can answer privately, so dont request it if youre on anon) your ask and tell you if i dont plan on fulfilling the prompt. depending on the attitude, i can also tell you why, but i reserve the right to deny without providing reason

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐍𝐎𝐓 : - ask me for incest or minor/adult age gap ships - send me a “follow up” ask after your prompt asking if ive seen it or plan on writing it because if im going to write it, i will, and if im not, i wont. dont wait on baited breath for it - send like 5+ prompts in a row. two and MAYBE three if you can’t resist are fine but if you send a big chunk like that im gonna pick one or two and ignore the rest

𝒊 𝐂𝐀𝐍 : - choose not to fill your prompt for whatever reasons that may come up, and i will do so by deleting it from my inbox - take a very long time to fill a prompt. i have Problem Brain. - fill the prompt however i like - change this list in any way i like, though i will post to let everyone know when it happens

𝒊 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐍𝐎𝐓 : - publicly shame you for a prompt i dont like - post fics inspired by your prompts on ao3 without putting something like “tumblr prompt fill for anon/tumblrusername” in the notes

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬 𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 : - anything centered around bakugou katsuki (as long as it doesnt fall into the category of stuff i do not want) - kiribaku, of course - kiribakuchaco as well  - polyam!!! one of my fav fandoms to do poly for, ESPECIALLY poly bakusquad - that being said, anything bakusuqad-centric! - anything centered around: shinsou, jirou, momo, todoroki, hawks, dabi, twice, toga (though for canon universe i prefer less of the woobified ‘wholesome’ takes for the villains because it always comes across incredibly ooc to me) - RAREPAIRS!!! esp bakuiida & mirudabi.... love that shit man - dabihawks <3333 though know i write them Mean and if its in canon especially they Will be toxic as hell  - HAWKS centric fic. god i love that bitch - anything with miruko - endhawks is a guilty pleasure of mine, though know i dont like writing them in canon universe much. i tend to just not discuss the relationship he has with his kids unless its plot-important for the sake of indulging my daddy issues and thinking abt endhawks  - AU’s!!!!!! i would in fact FAR prefer this over canon-related content especially because i stopped reading canon a good fuckin bit ago and i honestly dont really like it very much anymore? i think i can do more with them in aus personally 

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬 𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 : - ANYTHING involving deku, i will NOT write deku or anything centered around him beyond the barest fucking mention i can get away with, as i do not like him even a little bit for various reasons  -  kacchako is a good ship and i like it very much but i strongly disagree with a lot of the canon-typical views of it and its very likely i will not write prompts for it if that prompt falls into those views. however if its good ill eat that shit up  - i find shigaraki boring so him. though i will make an exception for dustbunny i fuckin love that shit its hilarious and weirdly great - ‘wholesome’ league content set in the canon universe. its a pet peeve of mine these people do not care about each other like that (mostly) (twice ily) (he’s not the only one obvi hes just the one i love) - i dont have much interest in writing miczawa? i love it its a great ship im just not super interested in writing it yk - anything (especially in canon but can apply to most aus) where all might is a decent person because that shit? ooc baby

𝐓𝐎 𝐄𝐍𝐃: here we are! i dont anticipate much, if any, requests here any time soon, but i do plan to get back to my old bnha wips some time soon so i thought id just write this while im doing blog stuff so its out of the way