#morning rambles

[tzipporahssong]

I think I’m forever going to be spoiled after working at a Jewish institution. Working at a place where I am the cultural majority—having shorter work days on Fridays, not having to take time off for holidays since we’re already closed, kosher snacks being offered during events—is going to be a really hard thing to give up when the time comes

[asteriasfallingstarsandtears]

I think about regularly that Astarion is old enough to have been around for Baldur's Gate 1 & 2, and though he probably was more focused on survival and serving Cazador, he probably has a lot of residual fear of Bhaalspawn from living in Baldur's Gate during that time.

Now, add in he's been kidnapped by mind flayers, he falls into this group of weirdos led by this absolutely murderous weirdo that he kinda likes but is really murder happy.

He can use that, he does need someone to murder Cazador for him.

And then he starts falling for this person, friend or lover, they become someone who he trusts and puts his faith in.

And then they learn they are Bhaalspawn, the one thing he's known that might be on the level of Cazador fear wise, or at least close to. Sarevok made quite the impression on Baldur's Gate, there are books written about the Bhaalspawn Crisis littered all over the world. Especially since he thinks so little of the Gods at this point, they never did anything for him, he knows about the murders that plagued the Gate in the last fifteen years, though they probably didn't directly affect him it probably made hunting a lot harder for him.

It's like meeting the most dangerous serial killer alive and not knowing who they were because they don't know who they are.

And they're just this weird little he's been traveling with.

Who possibly wants to help him free himself.

Who possibly confessed to loving him and wanting to do what's best for him.

The Dark Urge is one of his nightmares.

But also his Savior.

[watmalik]

I kinda want to see Tim Bradford have an Eddie Diaz break down (sorta).

Because A) I'm a horrible person that love/hates angst and B) I also want for Tim to start breaking those walls around him. Like he clearly still loves Lucy, eyes never lie, and I need this conflict of: Loving her enough to let her go yet I still want to be with her to eat him up so he can see, really see, he has deeper issues that doesn't necessary need solutions maybe at this time, but he has to be made aware of them.

I think right now that's the only way he would see what's actually happening and perhaps correct the mistake he did of breaking up.

I do feel as though the break up was a mistake, I think I saw an article where Eric says Tim broke up with Lucy as a heat of a moment type of thing/ at the moment type of realisation, instead of Tim walking out the station with that purpose in mind and I agree 🤷🏽‍♀️

[violetsareblue-selfships]

good morning!! <3

[herlittlebunnyboy]

Before I've even opened my eyes, I am keenly aware of a few things. I've slept in, without knowing exactly what time it is I can just feel it, but there were so many good dreams to dream, and she was the star of all of them. I can hear the rain outside, we are supposed to have it for a couple of days, and with that in mind, I can't help but smile. The only thing missing is her. Her touch letting me know she is here for me, firm in its approach but soft and intimate in its desire. Her breath neither heard nor felt on my back and neck. That sours my mood along with my arm. The tattoo removal yesterday left me charred in a very real sense, and it will be a bit before I can sleep on my right side again.

No more than any other day, I find myself feeling needy, wanting, craving her. Even if all I could have was her sitting across from me on the other couch, "her couch," in the living room. That wouldn't be enough, but I would happily and eagerly take what I can get. I realize I am greedy for her. But it is time to begin the day. I stretch out, my legs doing that shaking thing that lets you know you did it right. I. Hesitate in getting out of bed but the blinds need to be opened here in my room for the plants and downstairs too. There is a pot of coffee that needs my help coming into the world and so do the pancakes, hashbrowns and eggs. Good morning everyone, no matter where or who you are I hope you all have a good Sunday and a great week ahead.

[redtippedfox]

I feel like the pig Miraculouses weapon should have been a ribbon wand

It just feels right and you could totally use that in a fight as a magical girl weapon like make it strong enough to cut through stuff.

[whatsnewalycat]

Can I pull back the curtain a little bit on Psychomanteum?

The chapters have been really long because I have this outline I’m trying to stick to, and a checklist of things I initially wanted to accomplish in each. But last night I was contemplating and realized a) I’m trying to do too many things in each chapter and b) it doesn’t really matter what number is above the section of story I’m telling, as long as there’s progression. And I think… I’m gonna break them apart a little bit into more manageable pieces.

I’m not exactly sure what that will look like as far as how many chapters there will be, but there will def be more than 18 as I was planning on my last plot rewrite lol. So, idk, just a little FYI that it might not be as consistent in terms of word count by chapters lol but the story will play out the same.

[felrend]

Why do you like Cullen?

(don't think anything bad, I think Cullen is a great character)

I guess I'm a sucker for a tragic figure who's trying their hardest to do better. Like many, he was blind to the harm he was causing while being a Templar guard. He thought he was protecting the Mages when in fact he was doing the exact opposite. I think seeing the Blight and the corruption of Meredith, made him realize that it's all backwards.

He still has his flaws, you can see he struggles when you choose to side with the Mages in Inquisition. That's still the old fears that was taught to him at such a young age.

Plus, he's so romantic. Once he opens himself up to love, there's no stopping him. I'm sure if he had it his way, duty be damned, he'd be full of PDA for the Inquisitor. Hand holding, cuddling, making out in the corner of the tavern. All of it haha

[slytherin-paramour]

Feel in a bit of a dissociative mood at the moment. I'm not sad, not happy. Trying to grasp onto the HL fixation because I know that it's my comfort zone. Meh. I don't know.

[channelworldbluez]

Ethel Cain Hayden really doesn’t know what it’s like to be a preachers daughter I do I was it’s levels to this shit horrible imma make a diss track .

[aarafox]

Went to my ice adolescence tag to read hopeful posts that aged VERY badly 🥲

[azarothsoren]

Having gender envy actress Tilda Swinton play the Wood Sprite is such a based move on Del Toro's end.

Especially when you consider how gendered fairies get in most fairy tale adaptations. Always portrayed as humanoid nymph like beings with exaggerated feminine features like eyelashes and long dresses with the only fairy thing about them being wings that usually look so pasted on. Sometimes not even wings. Just a nymph with tiddies and big doe eyes and a long dress so ~you know it's a girl for sure~

IN COMES DEL TORO. He goes "nah, fuck that, we're making OUR fairy a creature that's got biblically accurate angel features AND she's got some breasts but it's not over sexualized like your weak ass nymphs. vaguely refer to her and her sister with 'she' and 'her' and terms like 'sister' but also never really gender them too much".

In conclusion I don't wanna bother with any more fairy tale adaptations if yall fairies are gonna be ridiculously gendered/overly sexualized unlike Chad Del Toro's take.

[asteriasfallingstarsandtears]

I may seem to be just totally obsessed with Astarion and Gortash, and I mean, I am, but I want to tell the story of how I played the first time romancing Astarion and immediately started a new game in Act 3 because of Companion Conversations about my character.

It was Karlach going "Ew."

We were besties Karlach.

Completely abandoned that playthrough and did a romance Karlach game.

My first finished romance was Karlach. And she stole my heart and burnt it to a crisp.

All because she said Ew in regards to being with my character.

My second romance was Gale.

Since then, it has been Astarion, mostly because I like his silliness and I almost always have him in my Party because he's a skeleton key, but damn, if Karlach doesn't still call me sometimes with her goofy little dance and golden retriever type personality and her lets smash everything when she's excited.

I've started Wyll and Shadowheart romances but they made me just want to play those characters. Halsin's romance is on that cursed first playthrough, Lae'zel I'm saving for a githyanki run and Minthara I just like her platonicly. She's my murder bestie.

[violetsareblue-selfships]

good morning!!! <3

[purlturtle]

"Breakfast Curry is the best curry because it comes as a surprise that you don't expect and also you can have coffee with it"

Dearest Liebsteface wife of mine, sometimes you are so alien to me.

[gateskp]

Some days, the darkness gets a foothold in the eternal fight for control and being human gets really hard. I went to bed last night disappointed--The One I Love previously said we'd spend at least a whole day together when I'm visiting, but he had to walk that back yesterday. His lab schedule changed. And I understand, he needs to be in lab, he needs to finish and graduate already. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. There's a little voice in my head reminding me that he owes me literally nothing. We are not a thing. He has obligations, and I am not more important than any of them because we're just friends. That makes it hurt a little bit more, tbh. And...it makes me a little less excited to go down for the race, which I've been looking forward to for weeks. The last 2 years have been a struggle. This time a year ago, I was in a really bad place, and I never clawed my way all the way out of it. I've always been just below the ledge, looking up at the plateau, struggling to reach it because I have 0 upper body strength. And when the hurt increases, of course, the darkness creeps in with it. I slip a few more feet under the plateau. That's lost ground, a few more feet I'll have to fight tooth and nail to regain while the voices try to drag me down even more. The evil voices that like to point out every bad thing in the world, that fixate on the horrors of this world, that draw the worst possible conclusions from every interaction. They sneak in and start spreading, icy cold tendrils seeping into every vein, every nerve, until I'm frozen. Sometimes I can thaw out. But not today. Today is not a thaw day. It's a bear the brunt of the cold day. It's a try not to give in, even though you're physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, day. I am so damn tired right now.