#ive been looking for like 10 minutes for whenever i posted this but i couldnt find it this was in my pics though

[andromerot]

[letsperaltiago]

I give up, I'm in love crying out to you |Jake x Amy|

So this is the post ”Yippie Kayak” fic I talked about! And honestly... I’m not super happy with how it turned out, compared to what I had in mind, but... I hope someone out there will enjoy it. Maybe

xx!

word count: 2.8k

The red and blue lights coming from the remaining police cars reflected back off his slightly pale face as he started the car, carefully driving away from the surrounded Goodwin’s before turning down the main street. Since Jake had quickly been pulled away from her to get checked by a paramedic as soon as they pulled back from their passionate reunion kiss, neither of them had gotten to say much to the other after Jake escaped the hostage situation. He’d quickly shrugged off his leather coat then hoodie before giving her the latter before he was pulled aside. Since then Amy had spent the time checking up on Gina and Charles, secretly feeling unsettled and almost burdened even though Jake was clearly safe and sound. Why?

So she wondered still as they quietly drove off and away from the chaos. It was just the two of them in Jake’s car. Maybe she didn’t say anything but on the inside Amy felt like screaming and crying, almost like she wanted to speak out but some unknown force pushed the words back down her throat. More than anything she didn’t want him to notice, because then he’d worry and he was the last person who should worry about someone else. He’d just been beaten by robbers and held hostage, for God’s sake! Although it probably didn’t help keeping her messy state of mind secret that she uneasily, shuffling in her seat, kept looking back and forth between the bypassing streets and his focused, slightly bruised face. Either his mind was somewhere else, which was completely understandable, or he chose to bite his tongue and not comment on it.

“Should I drop you off at home?” After such a long silence, his voice almost startled her, causing Amy’s head to quickly whip away from the window and in his direction instead like a deer caught in headlights. They usually slept at her place, almost everyday besides a few times a week whenever one or both needed a bit of me-time, so this caught the young woman a bit off guard. Did he ask because he wanted to drop her off and go home alone? Or was he just being polite? During the 7 months they’d been together, Amy had never turned to overthinking like this and it scared her. Jake would never have ulterior motives when it come to her - or anyone else, for that matter. What was wrong with her?

“Ames?” Without taking his eyes off the road for too long he allowed himself to take a quick glance of her, obviously confused by the lack of response he got from his otherwise always very clear and palpable girlfriend.

“Oh, sorry. I just-“ she bit her lip, silencing herself with her thinking. Honestly she wanted nothing more but to tell him no. No, she didn’t want him to just drop her off and act like nothing had happened. Actually the very last thing she wanted after coming so close to losing him was to go home alone - without him. Then she remembered that her bag (having held clean, warm clothes) from the polar swim and stinky, soaked jacket was still in his trunk, and last-mentioned item probably needed a good wash. She also did happen to have a full day of Christmas celebration with her enormous family waiting for her tomorrow on the 25th, so… Though every signal within herself told her that she didn’t want to, that it was wrong, it probably would be easier to just go home and get the last chores crossed off her mental list.

“Uhm, yeah. My place is fine.”

Out of the corner of her eye she could sense a nod, immediately sending her heart crashing into her gut. First the polar swim, then the hostage situation and now this? What a shitty Christmas eve. 10 minutes of silence later, he pulled over in front her apartment building and turned off the engine. Neither of them seemed to be able to break that eyes, staring straight ahead out the front window with stiff postures and mingled thoughts.

“So we’re here,” Amy finally mumbled, slowly and almost unwillingly reaching for the door handle.

Jake turned in his seat, scanning her up and down with his tired, yet always so gentle eyes.

Words were burning in her throat, making it feel like a muddy mixture of feelings and tears balling up in trachea. It was pure agony and it just wasn’t worth it, when she was with this wonderful man who’d never laugh at or dismiss anything she said. She needed to calm down and trust him.

“Would you mind coming upstairs with me? Just for a second,” she finally managed to almost gurgle out and finally looking back at him.

“No, of course not.” He smiled weakly, pausing for a moment, before leaning over the gap between their seats to peck her temple. “Let me help you with your stuff.”

So there they were, just 2 minutes later, after climbing the few stairs to her first floor apartment. The flicking of a switch by the entrance door drenched the living room/kitchen in a soft yellow light, which allowed them both to make their way to the center of the room.

“Should I just put it on a hanger it in your bathroom?” Jake asked sweetly, making Amy’s heavy heart do summersaults because of the fact that he’d read her mind before doing anything else.

She sent him a grateful smile, “Yeah, thanks. Just make sure to-“

“Hang it in the shower, so it won’t drip on the floor?”

Amy could tell by the way her boyfriend’s  eyes light up and his lips morphed into a crooked, boyish smile that he was proud of the fact that he’d managed finish her sentence just right. Sometimes she forgot that not only had they been dating for 7 months, but he’d also been her best friend for longer and partner against crime for even longer. There was no denying that he, more than anyone else and even herself, knew her the best. A weak smile growing on her lips at the thought let him know he was right, and then there was nothing else for her to do but to follow him with her eyes as he walked off to the bathroom with her icy ocean-coat.

Everything was so good between them and there was absolutely no denying it. Then why did she slump down on her couch with a heavy sigh and an even heavier her, she wondered. What was it about today; about her; about him, that made it seem like she was holding back and onto some kind of secret. A heavy slump back against the back of the couch seemed appropriate for the situation. Few steps wandered down the hall towards her, coming closer and closer. Next thing she knew he was back, standing by the kitchen at the opposite end of the room, freezing in his track when he noticed her hopeless expression. A staring contest between the two seemed to be initiated, but truth be told, she was not taking in just his eyes. Also the dark circles that surrounded them, his short, but nonetheless curls very messy from the day’s actions, his posture only emphasised how he probably felt - yet Amy Santiago had never before been so sure of one thing.

“Amy, is everything okay?”

Okay, the jig was up. He’d definitely noticed her being way off the entire night. Maybe he had been so too, but he, on the other hand, had an actual excuse.

“Yeah,” the following sigh did not reassure him. “Come sit with me for a second. Please?” She let her hands dance across the empty space by her side.

It truly did feel like walking into the belly of the beast, but ready for whatever she was going to throw at him, the eager detective made his way to the empty spot beside her and placed himself facing her. One leg bent on the couch, the other hanging off the side as he rested his side against the couch’s soft back. Another silence swallowed them both. Right in front of him, so close that he could reach out and touch her even though he didn’t dare to right then, Amy was nervously pushing her hair back behind her ears. Normally a double-tuck was a good sign, Jake couldn’t help but notice, but the current moment seemed to be way off and inconsistent.

“Ames, you’re kinda freaking me out here. Are we okay? Are you okay?”

The fact that he emphasised the ‘you’ more than the ‘we’ once again told her that he was the greatest man alive, obviously caring more about her than himself and them. A smile was not to be held back and her left hand, rebelliously in the name of love, expressed the same intractableness by reaching forward and cupping his cheek. Like a tear, though they weren’t present, Jake felt her thumb dance downards across his face and a million butterfly were set free in his stomach.

“Yes,” she nodded softly. “Both me and us. More importantly: Are you okay?”

He nodded softly into the her hand’s fingerhold, secretly wishing she would elaborate instead of redirecting the worry towards him. “I’m okay. Tonight was scary, but now I’m here with you. And though it might seem cheesy, it’s what matters to me.”

She nodded back, and though her mind was racing, trying to fight and make sense of all of her thoughts, her lips parted with willingness to speak. “It’s okay to be cheesy. It’s what matters to me too: Us…” She hesitantly allowed a pause, breathing in and unconsciously ran her tongue across her upper lip, considering if she should continue. This was Jake Peralta. With them it had always been this weird game of ‘in-between but never quite there’. The years of pining, the ‘never-single-at-the-same time’, keeping it light and breezy, almost breaking up twice within their first week together… It all came rushing back like an avalanche, pushing Amy over the edge of her emotional mountain. This time she wasn’t going to stay stuck in the middle; she was going big or going home - and she was already home, so there really was no way around it. “… Which I guess is why I’ve been so weird all night.”

Jake Peralta tilting his head slightly to the side in wonder was somehow the cutest and worst sight in the entire world - worst because she knew he did it out of confusion and precariousness. Amy Santiago wasn’t one to be overly confident with men, but these 7 months together had definitely taught her that she held his heart in his hands. His secretly very fragile, loving heart. On the other hand though, she also knew that he also held hers. Vulnerably and firmly all at once.

“You…” along with a heavy breath, her hand dropped from his face into his lap to hold his. Her gaze followed behind. “Being in danger like you were tonight really got me thinking about how important you are to me.” Her sincere brown eyes finally looked, to his relief, back up at him as those last words danced off her lips. Tender yet alert eyes and an understanding not from her boyfriend let Amy know that he was listening - he usually did whenever she spoke - and pushed her to continue. Taking this leap meant that there was no turning back around. “Li-,” her breath hitched, when tears suddenly welled in her eyes with urge to leap over the edge and down her cheeks. “Like it just got me thinking about the fact that just barely 3 years ago, I could never live with you. Never share a life with you, never be in the same room as for more than a few minutes without going absolutely insane,” she squeezed their joined hands in reassurance. “Never touch you like this. We seemed to be two opposites in all the worst ways. Impossible to unify.”

Though it was obviously with caution, seeing how affected by the matter his girlfriend was, Jake smiled remembering how they used to be cat and mouse. Those times seemed so far away these days.

“And now, today,” the hitch in her voice repeated itself; this time causing a tingle tear to stream down her face. Even soaked in tears, her eyes never left his and if Jake wasn’t completely delusional from all of the surfacing emotions, he could’ve sworn tears were welling up in his as well. “It just really hit me that I could never live without you.”

Almost like a bomb, silence dropped and blasted through the space around them. It sucked them into a black hole of everything from utter vulnerability to raw emotion and everything in between. Amy quickly noticed how her boyfriend’s eyebrows had cocked upwards, along with his suddenly much more awake eyes, in surprise.

“There’s before, now and after; me before you, me with you and I never want there to be a ‘me after you’, Jake Peralta.”

His jaw failed to keep his mouth shot, allowing his lips to part in awe like a kid having just discovered a secret treasure of gold, diamonds and pearls.

Her heart picked up pace as well as her termbling voice.

“God, I don’t know if this is moving too fast; if it’s right or wrong… But I’m just gonna say it. I desperately need you to know.”A brief pause pierced the moment, the three words welling up inside her mouth.

“I love you.”

His lips slowly merged back into a soft smile, his eyes glistening with joy as he brought his strong hands across the distance between them to hold her face and look into her eyes.

“I love you too, Ames.”

Finally, turning out to be what she needed more than anything that night, he used the hands attached to her face to pull her into a soft, tender kiss. A heavy weight suddenly dropped from her shoulders, her chest becoming lighter and fluttering as well. Within seconds her fingers wrapped around his wrists which were attached his hands that still cupped her now also smiling face. Their lips pressed together still, sparks flying like it was the first time instead of somewhere within the millions - probably - Amy knew she’d made the right decision. She loved Jake Peralta and he deserved to know.

His forehead pressed against hers, never disconnecting, as their lips parted and a dynamic energy travelled around them and the room. Amy could tell he was smiling; she was too after all.

“Tell me we’re end game?”  

When he slowly tilted his head just an inch back, Amy felt the tip and bridge of his nose gently stroke up her own. Upon having finally tilted it up and back far enough to reach her forehead, he pressed a tender kiss to it. It lasted longer than their rare, but yet sweet, little forehead kisses usually would. It almost felt like his lips had gotten stuck, but then suddenly to Amy’s secret dismay, he pulled his whole upper body back to look at her properly with glistening eyes and a happy grin. Amy’s heart on the other hand was anything but calm, thumping louder and harder than she ever imagined possible. Why wasn’t he saying anything? Maybe declaring her love like that was a bit too much for an otherwise emotionally cut off person like Jake. Maybe she should’ve just stuck to “I love you”… Or just nothing at all; she should’ve sent him back home and slept by herself tonight.

Yet suddenly it was clear to her that the confusion and anxiety must’ve been clearly written across her face, because once more and always preferably, Jake Peralta’s hands were buried deep within and messing up her glistening black locks like they were the last sensation he’d ever experience. His soft soft lips grabbed hers, telling her that she’d never be alone ever again though she still sometimes feared she would. More. She wanted it all and more, so she quickly reached across, grabbing the collar of his famous grey hoodie. If it was even possible by then, seeming to be as close as possible, she pulled on it and him. His lips scrunched into a smile against her desperate kiss. Suddenly his kiss wandered off too the side, onto her cheek; her chin; her hairline before ending on the top of her head with her cheek resting securely on top of his shoulder and arms wrapped tightly around her frame. Like they should be. Always.

“Amy Santiago, we’ve always been end game.”

[ofnifflersandkings]

Media Naranja IV

A/n: Longer chapter, but I’m super happy with the way it turned out and this’ll probably be the last part so i went all in.

Previous Part: http://ofnifflersandkings.tumblr.com/post/163150824192/media-naranja-iii

•

Connor flinched a little when he heard the volume of his door closing, but simply shrugged it off as he threw his coat and bag onto thefloor, promptly flopping onto his bed and groaning into the pillows. He felt pretty bad about just leaving you at the library, but decided that it was best to collect his thoughts.

Connor sat up on his bed, his gaze fell on his laptop and he debated on talking to Jared and Evan and get their intake on the whole ordeal.

The three of them all shared a couple classes, and they had mutual ideas of who the other was, besides that one English project sort of forced them to all get along with one another and form their small friend group.

They weren’t close friends. But still, the two of them had a funny way of talking to each other that amused Connor, so they all would talk online more than in person.

“God dammit,” Connor mumbled, fetching his computer from his desk and sitting up on his bed.

He booted up the computer and pulled up chat and stared at yesterday’s conversation.It took him a solid five minutes before actually figuring out what the hell he was gonna write

Connor: Listen, I need opinions on something.

Only seconds after hitting enter Connor felt the overwhelming desire to cringe, this was going to be the most awkward conversation of his life.

Evan: Sure, what happend?

Jared: oh my god, are we all about to have a moment??

Connor rolled his eyes, Jared was probably his least favorite of the two, but he certainly had the better sense of humor.

Connor: hilarious, seriously though, i need help on this one.

So, he told them what all happened at the library down to the part where he ran away. Connor saw the annotations that both of them were typing and rubbed his forehead, all of this emotion bullshit was giving him a major headache.

Evan: That’s a lot of information, but I’m sure we can help you with it.

Jared: hoLY SHIT CONNOR MURPHY IS JEALOUS!

Jealous?

Now that didn’t sound right.

Connor was a lot of things, but jealous? Never.

Besides,what was there to be jealous of? You and him were friends and nothing more.

So, then why did it hurt so much to think about?

He shook his head and promptly carried on the conversation.

Connor: Absolutely not.

Jared: Bullshit, literally everything about that story points to jealousy, just let it happen man.

Evan: Well hold on, it coud be something else? Maybe it’s just because you don’t like this Tony guy.

Jared: nobody even knows who tony fucking is, why would that explanation make any sense, hansen?

Jared: You’re jealous and I’ll prove it, because word on the web is that (Y/n) and Tony went on a date tonight at the one bookshop next to the coffeehouse. It’s a total hipster’s wet dream but there are pictures and everything.

Connor reread the message a few times, his brain was taking bit longer to actually process what he was reading on the screen.

Connor: Well fine, why should I give a damn who she goes out with, it’s not like i care or anything. It’s whatever.

Connor made a small ‘hmph’ noise as he leanded against the headboard of his bed, he could feel the disappointment and minor anger getting to him the more he thought about it.

And at first, he really, honestly, and truthfully thought he could end it there and leave it at that.

But before he knew what was happening, his hands were harshly typing away on his keyboard.

Connor: i mean what the fuck does she see in him anyways? the dude looks like a discount Harry fucking Potter they’ve literally never spoken in person i hang out with her all the time and this is the first I’ve heard of any stupid fucking tony

Evan: I think you should calm down a little.

Connor barely even looked at the responses, because all of this pent up anger had been released and he was certifiably pissed.

Connor: the two of them were chatting up a. storm at the library and the dick even made her laugh like ten times but whatever i honestly couldnt care less so what if the ass doesn’t deserve her or care about her like i do. i’m perfectly Fine.

Evan: holy shit

Jared: um…okay.

Evan: I mean really, wow.

Connor looked back at what he had written, and immediately wanted to toss his computer out of his window before throwing it into the deepest depths of the ocean.

Something didn’t add up though.

Jared wasn’t particularly close to you, and he didn’t know Tony.

Connor: Hold on, how do you known they’re together?

Jared: oh yeah, i don’t.

Jared: I was just pulling on your dick because you were being a bitch about your big ole crush on (Y/n), only wanted you to own up to it. But then you just went oFF.

Connor blinked, admitting his feelings to himself was something he was never able or wanted to do. Maybe it was because you were his first real friend, and the idea of putting that at risk for some petty schoolgirl crush was something he didn’t want to do.

But looking back on it now, this was clearly something a lot deeper than that.

Doesn’t mean he wants to admit it.

Connor: Right, well uh, I’m gonna sleep on it.

He closed his laptop amd set it aside, situation himself so he could look up at his ceiling and think.

Connor Murphy liked you.

A lot.

That part was obvious.

He indulged himself a little, allowing his subconscious imagine what it would be like if the two of you got together. Honestly, it wouldn’t be much different. You and him were already so close, it practically felt like a romantic relationship.

Connor just couldn’t wrap his arms around you, or hold your hand whenever he wanted to, or kiss you.

But he’s getting ahead of himself.

Connor got worried.

•

Another hour passed and stilll not a thing.

But he was cool about it, it’s not like he was waiting on you to answer him.

What a fucking lie.

The boy was checking phone nearly every five minutes regardless of his ringer being on and at the highest volume.

Connor carried it with him everywhere checking to see if you had answered. His phone was practically glued to his hands, it went with him while he brushed his teeth, talking to the boys, or pacing around the room as he stared at the messenger

He was a mess.

•

I mean what the hell kind of teenager doesn’t have their phone on them 24/7? He even knew that you had least 15 ebooks downloaded onto your phone.

Another hour and nothing, dejected and a little hurt, Connor left his phone on the kitchen table to go outside and kick at some of the pile of leaves that had gathered in the backyard to get out his frustration.

Ten minutes and scattered leaves all over the place, Cynthia showed up at the back door. “Connor! Your photo went off!” She called, holding the phone out to him.

Connor nearly ran his mom over when he ran past her, snatching the phone out of her hands.

“Thanks, love you, I’ll be in m room!” Connor said, far too quickly for her to understand.

Once he was alone, Connor looked down at the screen and got the biggest smile on his when we saw you had finally replied.

(Y/n): Sorry, I was reading. But I can meet you in 10??

Connor managed to reply, put on his jacket, and tell his mom where he was going in the matter of minutes before he was out the door.

•

You were already there whenever Connor came sprinting down the walking path, you smiled at his unkempt hair and the way the curls went absolutely everywhere.

Jared had told you Connor only started letting grow out over the summer, but you had a hard time imagining him without his long hair.

You had grown fond of it.

“There you are,” You said, giving him a smile when he came up to you.

Connor gave you a breathless laugh, and you could see how rosy his cheeks had gotten from both the exercise and the cold.

Speaking of which, you noticed that his jacket was far too thin for the kind of weather that was happening right now. Winter was on the horizon so the temperatures kept getting colder by the day.

“Hey, come here,” You said, beckoning him with your hand until he was standing right in front of you. “That jacket isn’t gonna do you any good, take this.”

Connor saw that you were beginning to take off your thick wool scarf and his hands went out to stop you before he stopped himself and awkwardly shoved him into his pockets.

“N-No, no, don’t do that, keep it.”

“Stop trying to act all tough and just take the scarf,” You ordered him sternly. “I don’t need you whining to me when you get a cold.”

He expected you to hand the scarf to him, so picture his surprised look when your hands gently went around his neck to put it on for him.

He could feel the coldness of your skin when your fingers softly brushed against the base of his neck and it made him involuntarily shiver at the sensation. Your perfume still lingered in the material of the scarf and he was suddenly completely wrapped in the feeling of you. It overloaded his senses amd he felt heat crawl up on his cheeks.

"Thank you,” Connor said, coughing to cover up how flustered he was.

You smiled before backing away from him. “So, what did you summon me here for?”

Oh, yeah.

Connor sighed, momentarily forgetting what he was doing. “I wanted to tell you something important.”

“Go on then, I’m all yours.”

He looked at you for a moment, his brain suddenly coming to a blank about what he had rehearsed saying to you. The words were meant in a nonchalant way, but it made his head go in a million different directions.

So much for the plan.

Connor’s hands fumbled together as he trie to figure out how to word his feelings without sounding like a total idiot. “I uh, I totally understand if you don’t feel the same..,” He trailed off, eyes looking up at you for a minute before a minuscule smile formed on his face. “But it would be really nice if you did.”

He settled his gaze on you again and instantly regretted everything once he saw the soft expression on your face. Did he sound stupid and that was some kind of look of pity.

“Of course I feel the same, stupid.” You said, wondering how he missed all the signs you had been giving him.

“Seriously?” Connor asked, feeling a smile grow whenever he saw you nod. “Well that’s good.”

Shut up you sound stupid

There was a short moment of silence before he spoke up again. “You know, your hands are really cold, give ‘em here,” Connor said, taking your both hands in his and tucking them under the scarf. “Better?“

“Better.” You replied, looking up at him to see him smile.

Connor examined your features up close, all the small freckles down the bridge of your nose and little imperfections one could only see if they were really looking at you.

You noticed him subconsciously leaning in towards you, your noses barely brushing against each other. You retracted your hands from him, on to place them around his neck as you leaned up to kiss him.

His hands reacted by wrapping his hands around you, resting them on your shoulder blades before pulling you closer.

Borh of your lips were chapped, and there was little movement from either of you, but it was warm and sweet and it just felt right.

Connor had every intention on keeping you there for awhile but you pulled back and looked at him with wide eyes, though he still had you tucked into his arms.

Connor took the opportunity to place a tender kiss on your cheek before letting you make your call.

Oh, yeah.

Connor Murphy liked kissing you.

A lot.

[chickenfetus]

ALL!!!! (also the gemini sqUAD LOL)

im gonna enjoy a nice cup of water while doing this bc idk a tea (update i didnt drink water at all and now im dying of thirst,, also undercut bc many)

1: Golden mornings or peachy sunsets?

i dont wake up early enough to see the sunrise and when i do i never manage to take pics bc of school so peachy sunsets

2: Sugar cones or waffle cones?

idk what a sugar cone is but i like waffle cones!!! havent eaten ice cream with a cone in forever though,, i rarely eat ice cream now

3: Do you wear scarves often? do you have a favorite?

listen…. its about 33 degrees everyday but even if im in a colder country i dont wear scarves

4: How long do you lay in bed before you finally get up?

this depends?? on how motivated im feeling lmao never more than 10 minutes though because if i lay awake for that long ill just fall back asleep

5: Is there a food you’ve never had but always wanted to try?

i dont think so?? im bad at trying new things especially food

6: What does your umbrella look like?

i dont.. go outside often and whenever i do i take public transport so basically everythings sheltered so i never had a need for umbrellas

7: Do you listen to ASMR?

ive only listened to one everybody please listen to this gift

8: Rain storms or a light drizzle?

both, preferably when im indoors

9: What’s a little thing in life that you love?

hm??????????? my tags lmao 

UPDATE: i also really like reading other people’s tags and their rambles that is all

10: Favorite color aesthetic?

does the word aesthetic make this question any different from a normal favourite colour question???? if it doesnt then sky blue 

11: Wobbly lines or using a ruler?

in this house we draw lines with no ruler like men (but also because even if i did use a ruler it wouldnt be like… straight idk i cant use rulers

12:  Bright colorful living room or neutral cozy living room?

neutral cozy living room but i also love basking in sunlight 

13: Do you have any candles? what scents are they?

im not a big fan of heavy smelling products so i dont own any candles

14: Have you ever rode a horse?

i dont think so??????? ive seen horses before though

15: Do you have glasses?

without my glasses i wouldnt be able to read these questions lmao and . .. theyre also a result of watching pokemon too closely to the tv at a young age… its been like 10 years since i got glasses

16: What’s a language you’d like to speak?

japanese i tried speaking it but i got 2 embarrassed to say anything properly while i was in japan (i cant even speak english properly to a friend whyd i think i could speak another language to a stranger beats me) 

17: What’s your favorite season and favorite month in that season?

my singaporean no season ass: ? but autumn and november (is this cutting it too close to winter? idk my seasons)

18: Do you have a favorite pair of socks?

hm not really i just wear blue ankle socks a lot but my friend did give me a pair of pokemon and gudetama socks before and i adore those although i lost the gudetama ones in the uk last year she got me another pair whatd i do to deserve her?

19: Favorite Ghibli and/or disney movie

m .. um? big. hero 6?????? 

20: Disney, Dreamworks, or Pixar?

my dumb ass didnt know they were different

21: What snacks do you usually get at the theater?

i rarely go and watch movies anymore but when i did watch a lot of movies with my friend at the theater we’d get afternoon shows and sneak mcdonalds in lmao

22: What’s an underrated video game/ movie/ show you love and think it needs more recognition?

how about band? day6 i only ever play pokemon + sif + bandori so i cant say much and i rarely watch movies and a show? if its an anime id say the one i mentioned before in my one text post 

23: Would you fill your house with plants if you had a green thumb?

not really rip 

24; All plants are great but do you have a favorite?

HM mmmmmm there was this one but i forgot the name lmao pass

25: Do you have a favorite type of art style? (eg: soft looking, no to little color, sketches, crisp and clean, minimalist, pixel art etc.)

when im the … audience? what do u call it???? i like seeing all kinda of art styles!!! everyone has their own unique art style and i love it all :o

for ME,, , ive been doing art for 6 years maybe and i still cant do shit

26: What would you do if someone gave you flowers?

i would die straight up die thats such a soft concept i cant imagine myself receiving flowers thats 2 sweet oh my god wtf id combust??? i prefer leaves though is that weird i picked some nice leaves recently and im gonna give those to my friends

27: Do you like nicknames?

giving and having nicknames is my favorite past time

28: Do you still watch shows you watched when you were a kid? even from time to time?

pokemon lmao thank u 4 not ending it…. the animation has only improved and im so proud to have been watching it since the start pokemon is my special thing i love it so much!! an interest that never died down, with an anime that stays super like idk to my preference? i tried watching the new digimon stuff but i just couldnt :^( im glad they made ash stay the main character 

29: Do you still like old memes? (tell the truth)

never forget dat boi

30: Favorite Halloween costume you dressed up as? (if you don’t celebrate halloween have you ever cosplayed or would you like to? who did you cosplay as?)

we dont celebrate halloween and i would never cosplay, big shoutout to cosplayers though!!! they put in so much effort and just, respect!!!!! 

i dont know if this is an actual memory because i dont remember well but when i was younger i thiNK? i had to dress up as a swan thing i have no clue i dont even remember the performance but i might have had to ?? and dance??? or act i dont remember everythings fuzzy but i dressed up a swan once? in kindergarten ????? 

31:  Are you a fashionable person?

i have the worst fashion sense and even though jeans are nice once again the weather here doesnt allow me to be as fashionable as i can be

32: Do you like watching holiday movies?

not realyyy??? the jack frost (rip) movie was ncie????

33:  Cookies or brownies?

i live 4 chocolate chip cookies but too much is . . not preferable

34: Do you blow in the cold air just to see your breath?

no i hate breathing in & out from my mouth

35: Do you find the crickets chirping outside your window relaxing?

WELL from the great cockroach ordeal last night id probably die bc we live in an apartment building so the only way id be hearing crickets would be if they were in the ROOM 

36: Do you like cobblestone streets?

my only knowledge of cobblestone is from minecraft so idk

37:  How often do you doodle?

when school was still relevant i would doodle as soon as i picked up a pencil lmao i try not to anymore bc i doodled on my math assignment and forgot to fucking erase it and my math teacher called me out

38: When was the last time you blew bubbles?

a year ago?? i dont remember but i do remember when i was younger id try and blow bubbles at the void deck do yall kno what that is its just a space near the lift lobby anyway i swallowed the soap thing idk u know how ur supposed to blow? well i sucked the soap in yum

39: What’s your favorite random piece of decor in your house and room?

in my room its the bed and in the house its the water bottle that contains water

40: Do you bite your fingernails off or clip them more often?

i………………………… i dont actualy kno how to clip my nails and my mum would kill me if i tried but i dont bite my nails either

41: Any birthmarks?

not that i know of

42: Thoughts on freckles?

ive never actually seen someone with freckles in public before but theyre good stuff i gueess?? i dont actually have an opinion on them? everyone says theyre cute and all but im just ??? not that i hate freckles tho if u have freckles? thats cool! 

43: First video game you ever played?

pokemon pearl?? either that or megaman on my ps3 OR the bomb square guy????? idk the game name but.. ya

44: what type of bird do you hear most often outside your door?

i dont know what the bird species are but theyre small black birds not crows idk

45: Do you use gifs/ memes a lot when replying to people?

memes yes gifs no bc im not lame like jen

46: Thoughts on spring?

no comment?? i mean? its nice??????? i guess ??? if we had a spring

47: Ideal temperature outside?

oh boy 20 degrees would be enough for me but its never gotten that low before sunny island’s life

48: Cloudy, partly cloudy, or clear skies?

i like clear skies when its bright! but not too sunny and not too warm!!!!! clouds are nice to look at too though

49: How often do you hear airplanes outside?

yeah we live near an airport i dont think anybody uses????

50: Do you enjoy windy days?

windy days are my SHIT back in school our basketball court was open spaced and whenevr wind blew we could feel it man thats the life right there but i hate windy days when im sitting at home bc it flows the curtains rigth into my face i like the feel of the wind and the smell of fresh air but… curtains in my face? not 2 great so rip i close all the windows lmao

okay thank u so much 4 asking falen i love you and wow this was a lot

[set--suna]

A Different Mask

Hi this is bad but I'm posting it anyway -- The world of the Phantom Thieves was a hilly one. There were challenges and calm, dangers and warm moments. But all the Phantom Thieves had one thing in common: they went through their pain together. They had been there for each other when nobody else possibly could be. When one Thief couldn't be there, there was always another to help with whatever pain one had. They were, as they say, thick as thieves. All the Phantom Thieves had reached one unconscious conclusion, as well: none of them had been through as much as their leader. They all agreed on it, even if they didn't know it. Akira Kurusu deserved the world. -- The group would always be there for each other. Akira knew that fully well. Yet he never leaned on them when things got rough in his head. They all relied on each other, but Akira couldn't bring himself to put his problems on their shoulders. Whenever his confidence wavered in a Palace, the team was always hyping him up. But that's all they saw. They didn't see his emotions outside the Metaverse. Those were his only secret. They didn't know about his nightmares. They didn't know the reason he listened to all of their problems was so they didn't end up like him. He wanted them to have someone to turn to. So he locked his feelings away to be the cool and collected leader he was. Supposedly. He kept his trauma inside. He kept the anger he felt when his friends were taunted and teased contained. He tried to make the comments from the kids at Shujin go in one ear and out the other. Whenever someone looked at him with that look of disapproval, he oh so tried to shake it off. But it all made him have days where everything just felt... numb. Like nothing he did mattered. These days were the days he thought about betrayal. Where he thought about his friends leaving him behind. Abandoning him. Akira Kurusu was scared. Today was a day where his feelings slipped themselves into every crack of his thoughts they could find. They partially distracted him at school, made his comments to his friends sound half-hearted when he truly meant them, kept his responses to Sojiro short, and made him reluctantly obey Morgana when he told him to sleep. "Hey, Akira, what'd you get on the third question of the test? I put B, but I'm not very confident in my answers," Ann sighed, resting her head on her hand. She had her mouth in a pout with her genuine look of unconfidence. "I got B, too," Akira responded. He sounded uninterested, but he really wanted to boost Ann's spirits. "Oh, great!" Ann said with a smile. "That makes me feel better." She spun back around when the next teacher walked in the room. He didn't miss her look of slight concern while she turned. "Welcome back. How was school?" Sojiro asked when the bell rang above the door to LeBlanc. "Good, as always," Akira responded, it didn't come out as he intended it to. Sojiro just laughed softly, "An answer I'd expect from you." He frowned as Akira moved towards the stairs, absentmindedly wiping away at a glass. "So, you ready to go to bed?" Morgana asked later. "Yep," Akira replied, sliding under the covers. "I'm tired." "For once," Morgana said sarcastically. "Goodnight." "Goodnight," Akira turned on his side and shut his eyes. He didn't see Morgana jump on the bed and give him a worried look. He just felt him curl up next to him and release a sigh. -- Akira had a nightmare. He was back in Okumura's Palace. A crowd of worker robots surrounded him and his friends. They had nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. They fought and they fought to no avail. Akira had to watch as his friends fell around him, one by one. Ann was bleeding from a wound on her head. Makoto's arm was broken at the elbow, told by it's odd angle. Yusuke was so beaten he couldn't stand. Futaba was trapped outside the circle, not hurt but in danger. Morgana was struggling to stay conscious. Ryuji's leg had given out on him due to the stress. Haru was standing mostly uninjured, but her father's shadow was pestering her with "Okumura Daughter" duties. Akira was helpless he couldn't do anything. He was exhausted. He fell to his knees. "This is what brats like you get for meddling in the wrong business," Okumura walked to Akira. "You get beat." There was a gun shot, but Akira missed it. He woke with a start. He was shaking. He felt lightheaded. He couldn't focus. He pulled his knees to his chest and squeezed them tight. He didn't notice Morgana stir next to him. Morgana didn't move. He didn't want to move. He didn't want to risk Akira's panic getting worse. Instead he just pretended to shift in his sleep. Akira's shaky hand reached for the windowsill. He grabbed his phone and checked the group chat. Nobody had said anything since their final goodnights. He wanted to talk with someone, anyone. But who would be awake at this time of night? He gave in. Akira: Is anyone awake? Ryuji: yeah Ann: yep Futaba: mhm Yusuke: Yes. Haru: I am. Makoto: So we're all awake at this ungodly hour? Ryuji: i couldnt sleep Ann: Me neither Ann: I keep falling asleep and waking up again Haru: I get how you feel, I was just thinking of texting you all myself. Yusuke: I am only awake because Futaba is keeping me up with her constant messaging. Futaba: this is important stuff im sending you! Yusuke: You are sending me pictures of foxes in costumes. Futaba: EXACTLY Makoto: So in one way or another... We all are having a struggle with sleeping. Ryuji: thats what it looks like Ryuji: aww man i wish we could meet up Ryuji: im not even sure if i feel tired anymore Ann: I mean, it's almost 5, we could meet up anyways? Makoto: When did everyone go to bed? Ryuji: 10 Ann: 9:45 Haru: Nine 'o clock. Yusuke: Eleven Akira: 10:30 Futaba: ive taken naps throughout the day so im not really tired Makoto: I see. Makoto: Well, I guess we all got reasonable hours of sleep. Makoto: I will permit this once, and only because we are all in the same boat here. Ryuji: all right! Ann: Yes! I've always dreamed of doing something like this! Yusuke: Where should we meet? Ryuji: how about Akira's place? is that ok? the place doesn't open until 8, right? Akira: Yeah, it should be fine. Haru: What about Mona? Is he awake? Akira poked the cat with his finger. His hand still felt slightly shaky, but he was calming. Morgana meowed in reply, but rolled onto his side to look up at Akira. Akira: He's up. Futaba: Great! See you all there! Akira sat his phone screen down on his bed. Morgana now laid on his stomach, his tail swishing around. "What's up?" he asked drowsily. "Everyone's coming over. No one could sleep except you," Akira replied, semi-sarcastic. "Ok, might wanna fix that bedhead of yours a bit, though," Morgana replied. -- Futaba was quick to hop onto Akira's bed, sitting criss-cross for once. Ryuji sat on one end of the couch and Ann on the other, stretching her legs out across Ryuji's lap. Makoto and Haru sat on the floor by the sofa. Yusuke simply took a chair. "Man, I'm glad to be outta my house. There was no chance of me sleepin' anymore," Ryuji groaned. "Every time I shut my eyes, they just wanted to open again," Ann complained through a partial yawn. "I would fall asleep for an hour at a time. It's rare I sleep like that," Haru shook her head. "Do we all have something on our mind that's keeping us up?" Makoto questioned why this was happening. "Umm... not that I can think of," Ann answered. "There's nothing that would keep me up at night except Futaba," Yusuke commented. "Shut it, Inari," Futaba responded. Akira fumbled for words. He ran a hand through his hair in thought. While the others maintained a steady conversation on sleep habits, Akira was lost in his thoughts. He wanted to tell them. He didn't want to keep his emotions a secret anymore, they deserved to know. They cared about him and should know when he's feeling down. But how could he start? He didn't have to. "Akira? You ok?" Morgana asked, tail swishing. "You look kind of out of it." "Now that he mentions it, ya do, dude. What's up?" Ryuji is quick to follow up. Akira hesitates, "There... There's something I need to tell you all." Akira talked the most he had ever talked at once then. He told them about his nightmares of losing them and everything he's ever known. He told them about his emotions building up and how he felt like crap on those certain days. He poured his heart out in a matter of minutes because he wanted to stop hiding this. He wanted to stop being scared. He talked about the trial and being sent to Tokyo by his parents and how it made him feel so... abandoned. Betrayed. "Akira... You know you can talk to us, man," Ryuji was frowning though he was definitely concerned. "Yes, you will always be one of us," Yusuke spoke, sitting on the edge of his seat. "Mhm, text me whenever and I'll be sure to respond!" Futaba nodded encouragingly. "We will always be there for you, Akira," Makoto had slid closer and placed a hand on his knee. "Wherever we may be, we will always be willing to talk." Akira felt his hands get shaky again. But there was no fear or panic this time, just relief. They still saw him as Joker, their leader. Their tactician. Their friend. "I never would have known this affected you so much if you hadn't told us," Ann frowned guiltily. "Yeah, I feel bad," Ryuji looked sad. He faced Akira seriously. "Just worry about yourself, man, before you worry about what others say." "They don't know you like we do, anyways," Futaba added. Akira nodded. His face was hot. He was struggling to keep his shaky hands under control. He felt tears welling behind his eyes. Why was he still trying to keep his emotions in? "I'm glad you told us about this," Haru smiled at him warmly. "You can surely rely on us as much as we have relied on you, leader," Yusuke says assuringly. Futaba quickly hugged Akira's arm when he began to cry. It ended up with all of the Phantom Thieves on or around his bed. Ann was on his other side, head on his shoulder. Ryuji sat on the other side of Futaba, his hand lingering close to Akira. Makoto was kneeling in front of him, clasping a hand in both of hers. Yusuke and Haru sat in chairs on either side of her, leaning in close to fill the circle. Akira's free hand was on his face, wiping away tears that kept being replaced. Morgana squeezed in and curled up in his lap, nudging him with his nose. "We're a team, Akira. Teammates never leave another behind," he said, closing his eyes. The Phantom Thieves of Hearts had always had one thing in common: they shared their pain together. And they all awakened to one more thing; Akira Kurusu deserved the world.

[askdurianrider]

It's a shame that you're going to ruin Tori's life. She could have had nice life, recovered from her ED, met a nice vegan boy, found a job she was passionate about. But she's met you and you're going to present her as nothing more then a body and an object, make her feel that her worth is purely based on her aesthetics,push her so hard until she burns out and then when she cracks you'll slander her and bully her into a shell of a person. We've seen it before. But it will be 10X worse with Tori.

I know you are just a troll looking for a bite but I will answer your fake sincerity based statement.

1. How can anyone ruin anyones life by helping them get fit AF, get healthy and get em on track with a career path they enjoy?

2. How can anyone ruin anyones life? Even those landmine victims in Cambodia don’t hold grudges to the person who laid the mine. They get on with their lives and stay productive or end up fucking up their own life by playing the blame game. Whenever we blame someone else for the reason we can’t enjoy life then we give our power over to someone else. I don’t know about you mate but Im in control of my thoughts and emotions. I determine my quality of life, NOBODY else.

3. You say ‘had a nice life’ as if we can predict the future or guarantee we will be alive for the next hour? Any of us could die at any minute mate. If you care about Tori so much then why don’t you put the effort into her that I have? Thats right mr troll, you couldnt give a flying fuck about anyone but yourself. When you pretend to care it is just so you can throw shade at a situation that involves someone you are jealous of.

4. ‘Present her as a body’ etc. What female doesnt put their aesthetic value as their highest priority? What planet do you live on mate? My issue is when people take things to the extreme and start starving themselves, doing drugs or botox etc to look a certain way. That aint healthy. Showing off a fit healthy body is normal and natural in my reality mate. It inspires other women to eat and live healthier. 

5. “Push her till she burns out’. NOBODY has ever burned out or ever will if Im coaching them. I don’t even have light bulbs or a sofa at my place. No chairs. You either lay down and rest or you are riding your bike. Every ride I monitor via wattages to ensure no elevated TSS values are sustained. You don’t even have a clue how to get yourself fit mate who what gives you the credentials to critique me? 

6. Tori isnt like FL and co. She isnt the slander type. Ive never slandered anyone in my life. Not only is it illegal, it is also against my personal values. I only speak facts my friend. 

7. Slander? Toby took me to supreme court last year for me claiming he was on anabolic steroids.(I never even said he was on them, I just laughed about him claiming natty status. I told him via instagram message that I knew he was though and could prove it at trial. (Adelaide gym scene is a small small place). He dropped the case a few hours later and was recently busted with illegal steroids and charged for possession of them. He faces court again in a few weeks. 

Slander is the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation. I was just stating the facts and it got blown out way more than it needed too. Now the local media is reminding people that he took me to court about the steroids claim. They are having a field day with it. Its part of gym culture to use anabolic steroids and do them longterm. If you don’t you simply CANT build much muscle and if you are honest about it then people will make fun of you or sponsors will drop you. I understood why Toby lied but many say I was slandering him. I wasnt, I was just stating the obvious and with no malice. Malice is when you single someone out but let others who are doing the same thing get away with it. Ive been calling out fake natties for ever man!

Ive NEVER slandered Freelee. I just spoke the truth. 

*She did botox for years when I was with her and lied to my face about it.

*She did chronic ground work with robin whilst we were still together and lied to my face about it. She said they were ‘just online chat buddies!’. 

* FL used to kick, knee, scratch and punch me a lot. She always started it and it was mostly when I would reply back to a female viewer about a cycling or health question or if I didnt want to delete someone in my vlog.

*She did say one of the last times I spoke with her that she prayed someone would run me over on my bike and kill me. She said ‘I know Ive said that before and I didnt really mean it but this time I mean it with all my heart that someone runs you over and you die’.

*She blocked me from my own forum and cut my ebook sales from about 10 copies a day to about 1 copy a day. I made 30BaD the most active vegan forum on the planet I posted almost every day for almost 9 years. FL hadnt posted their for the 18 months prior to deleting me.

*FL still owes me $5000 that she promised to pay me over and over.

I could go on and on but its getting boring and my lawyers are onto it. If Ive slandered FL then she should take me to court like Im taking her vs run from Australia to avoid legal action.

What you have done mate is slander me. You are the ultimate hypocrite. The primary motivation to slander someone is you see that person as competition or you are jealous of them. Im not jealous of anyone and for me the word competition means competere which means ‘strive together’. Google it sometime mate.

That is why you slander behind a fake profile mate so nobody can sue you. 

[marianyossa]

11 months with Angel as of now, wow a lot of time has passed since I’ve been on here and actually posted anything. But figured I’d look around just for nostalgia and saw some people have been wondering how i’m doing and felt bad without another update. So here goes nothing, I probably won’t be able to keep it short lmao: After the last update a couple weeks later was homecoming. And I knew I wanted to do something sorta big to ask angel n get her to smile since I know she loves stuff like that. Sticking of the theme of things she loves, I made it grey’s anatomy themed 

Hid it from her for awhile and gave student council the idea. Then got actual scrubs that my dad had for some reason and asked my friends Drew, Rafael, and Vernell to hold it up. The video on her instagram shows her friends leading her outside and she ran up and hugged/almost tackled me. 

Then actual homecoming came around. Rented a tux, got her a corsage, the whole deal. She got her dress and I swear when I walked in her house as she was getting ready she looked so perfect I literally was speechless and just stood there and kinda squatted for a minute. I was just blown away and so grateful. We went to Tivoli Village to take pictures with a group of our friends (in separate post). As a group we went to cheesecake factory and it was so nice, filled up this long table for 20 people outside. And my friend Anthony goes “so where does everyone see themselves in 10 years” As people were answering around, I asked angel quietly the same question and she said “with you” almost immediately, it was one of the best memories ive ever had I couldnt stop smiling because when she asked me back I was gonna say the same thing and I did. 

Then we went to the actual dance, which honestly was kind of a rip off for $30 tickets but it’s whatever. Angel’s dress was fine but they were gonna dress code her for some reason so I let her wear my jacket. It was getting boring so I told her let’s get out of here and we walked outside to by the softball fields where we first hung out. And I pulled out my phone and played a song she said she always wanted to dance to. I had always dreamed about doing that with a girl but it felt even better because it was her and all the meaning that led up to it. It was also the same day the cubs won to get into the world series so overall a pretty good day I’d say? We came back to my house and lied down and everything and I swear it’s easy to put that up there as one of the best 24 hours i’ve ever had. 

Then of course life got better as the cubs won the world series and I got to review buffets around vegas for journalism and they paid for it. And we had other dates like a picnic and spent the holidays together. 

Her 18th birthday was in december but the celebration was honestly over the course of a couple weeks. Made her a sign that said 18 moments i fell in love with you and printed out pictures with like 6 pages worth of explanations (extra, I know). It becomes less extra and more just fitting once you see how happy she got as a response. So much effort. Also got her a bracelet with the infinity symbol because we say infinity and beyond sometimes and it came with her birthstone. Then later on took her to magical forest and we walked through all these christmas lights and ate funnel cake and played mini golf. And there was a big family/friend party at cafe moda which was really entertaining. 

She got a really nice $500 camera and we used it for a ton of pictures from just walking around outside to spending christmas and new years together. (in separate post) Then she got a tattoo and I held her hand the whole time while she nearly broke it off

It turned out great and perfect with a lot of meaning for her and it was funny trying to keep her from scratching at it for a few days. 

We’ve gotten into some small fights but nothing too bad. Every couple has arguments eventually and all that matters is that both sides are willing to communicate and fix everything. Instead of getting angry when something goes wrong we both see it as “ok how do I make this better what do i do differently” and that willingness to never give up on each other is all we need. Besides, you spend enough time with any person on this planet and you’re bound to disagree with them on something down the line. 

We celebrate 11 months tomorrow which we got lucky because it’s the same day as senior ditch day. School has been going alright but a little shaky in some classes. I fell behind because with my home situation I was in a bad place and it’s been hard for me to self motivate for anything other than fun and distractions. But I’m turning it around now and Angel has helped get me through it. So many moments just making me realize how much I can’t wait to spend my life with her, like times we both got feels or whatever just from fixing a blanket over the bed cause she said she was thinking about how she can’t wait to do that when we’re older. 

Sorry this has been so long but guess that’s because a lot of time has gone by busy with all these things actually happening. Thanks if you managed to actually read all this, I don’t blame you if you didn’t this is just for anyone who was interested. You guys can still message me and i’ll try to stay in contact want to stay friends, stuff coming up is one year with her, sadies, and my birthday so talk to you guys whenever I feel it’s time for another update! 

[virginia-werewoolf]

Hello to all!!! It’s been a crazy few months and I haven’t had the time to really go on Tumblr much less post about everything going on in my life but i am going to today!!

I’m currently finishing up my senior year of high school and lemme tell u - it’s been wild!!! But so fun. This last Relay for Life was probably my favorite one yet & I wish I could just have one more. When I went my freshman & sophomore year I was still so, so shy and only talked to people I already knew. This year, though, I talked to the new speech & debate kids and they were some of the sweetest people I have met in high school!! I always get so nostalgic for speech and debate when I am around the newer kids in the club. I can’t lie - being in that club was the only time throughout my whole high school experience that I felt as though I was a part of something good. I quit because it did stress me out a bit and I wanted to join photography my sophomore year and just always kind of found an excuse not to go back after that (even though I always knew I should’ve). Prom was nice - we ate at the Venetian and danced our lil hearts out at Panis Hall. I felt moderately pretty. I got into an argument with my best friend, Vincent, that night - he’s been a real dick lately & I couldn’t put up w it anymore that night in the Red Rock parking lot!!! I have been holding a few grudges against him since then but this weekend I have gotten some time to think it over for the first time & I think I’ve made my peace with him!! After prom was the Disney trip - which has been a WILD ride for a few months now. There was a lot of fishy business going on w the stuco advisor but finally - LITERALLY 10 MINUTES BEFORE THE BUS LEFT - I got a seat on the bus!!!! I wasn’t ready at all because I didn’t want to pack a bunch & get excited just to end up having to go to math that day - but I had such a good time in my bummy school clothes & 2 best friends!!! Even if I didn’t get to take pictures and we didn’t get to finish exploring California adventure because we were all grumpy and tired. The bus ride with Vincent was so fun and I didn’t really think about all the things I was upset at him for. On the 24th, then, we had grad walk AND senior awards!! I did the travel grad walk with Ni-Ni and we got to go to our elementary and middle schools + pat diskin in our caps and gowns with all the current students lining the halls cheering us on!! It was so pure. The elementary schoolers were so so so cute n proud of us & it was the first time it rly set in that this is happening!!! Plus I saw my 4th grade teacher and she remembered me BY NAME. I foreal cried on the way back to the bus bc of it. Awards night was nice too - I sat next to a kid I hadn’t talked to since middle school but it wasn’t awkward and we made jokes to each other all night!! It was kinda cute. Like it really felt like we were all in this together. I luvvvved cheering on my friends & just other kids in my classes who I may not talk to much but it still feels like we’re on the same boat supporting each other!! I got my Ronald Mcdonald award that night + my hispanic educator award (two scholarships totaling $1500!!!!) I also have to go to a HUGE district wide ceremony & read part of the speech that won me the hispanic educator award the day after graduation!! Yikes but I’m excited. I think that’s basically all the senior events left except maybe the senior bbq??? But that’s not a big deal. I’m not sure if there’s a senior sunset and I know I posted about being upset that I didn’t go to senior sunrise but on the bus ride home from Disney, I woke up for a split second and saw the sunrise over the California desert with my best friend sleepin next to me, his arm latched onto mine & maybe that’s enough.

BUT YEAH. IM FUCKING GRADUATING. My checkout card is signed !! My 7th grade english teacher who i am super close to has her flight booked !!! Can u believe it!!

Work-wise, I was having a really hard time for a while. I was desperately looking for another job & was about to transfer because the theatre made me want to kill myself!!! My exs friends and my managers were talking so so so much shit abt me. They said some of the worst things they couldve possibly said about me - and were so condescending at a time where i was extremely insecure because i was hung up over a boy that treated me like shit & had just lost so many friends. I couldnt even imagine staying until summer - but the universe helped me out and made it so that 2 of my most condescending managers transferred & i stopped getting scheduled so much with my exs friends and things just got… better. I stopped crying everyday - or any day - at work and actually turned down an interview because i figured id just wait until july to look for another job (thats how long im required to stay at my current to qualify for a 10k dollar scholarship i think i have a good shot at getting!!). I dont feel trapped and dread going to work anymore anymore and its so so so relieving. For a second there, it really had such a strong hold on my life and im so glad thats over. It was not healthy at ALL

Driving wise - ive been driving a lil bit a few days a week now and im really enjoying it !! It is not as scary as i thought itd be. I still have a lot to learn but i think im doin pretty good + i have 3k saved up for a car & im so excited !!!

This summer is also gna be super fun - im gna throw so many parties bc all of my bffs are leavin im august for college + spend a week explorin LA w my sister which im so excited abt !!! Im super broke atm bc i had to borrow a bunch of money from my mom for grade nite & am trying to pay it back asap but hopefully any grad money will be enough to cover it so i can buy books n cute knick knacks freely while im on vacay!! Especially since my body decided to hit a second fuckin puberty this winter & none of my summer clothes fit me anymore :( ive been dressing so bummy lately bc of it but ive been too busy to care. I gotta get clothes b4 going to LA tho!!! Other than that though i really just want this summer to be abt me. I feel like even tho i KNOW i need time to myself, i always try to get the most out of literally ANY possible relationship in my life :( its such a bad thing but i hate passing up opportunities like that bc what if, u know? To love and be loved in return is what I always thought i wanted most in this world!!! But i think i just need to consider where situations like this are really going before i compromise the time i set aside to work on myself for it. SO unless i can really see something going somewhere, this summer is goin to be about reading, writing, filming, and taking care of myself !!! I want to eat better (vegetarian & vegan whenever possible!!) and exercise and take care of my skin and just get shit done in general (maybe learn to knit finally???) Im even gonna start a bullet journal!!! I think it will help keep me feelin like myself as well as stay productive & organized in college + its just such a cute hobby Not to mention my sister is ENGAGED?????? My BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!! I will save the sappy stuff for later posts/my maid of honor speech but she really deserves this more than anyone. It hurts to see her movin out after 18 years of sleepin 10 feet away from her - if it were any earlier than this i wouldnt have been able to handle it - but im excited to be independent & im sure we’ll be sendin each other funny memes and visiting each other 24/7!! She is my best friend after all, and im just so happy to see her happy that i cant even be that sad abt losing our early morning laughs and late night talks - at least not yet!! Maybe it just hasnt set in yet

[themoneybuff-blog]

Some Thoughts on the Cost of Eating Out

A few weeks ago, I found myself in a situation where I was really hungry but there werent many food options around. I decided to keep my costs as low as possible, so I went into the only restaurant I could find, a nice little diner. I want to be clear during this article that I am not picking on this diner. It was a nice place to eat, the service was good, the food was good, and I was happy with it. At the diner, I ordered an extremely simple breakfast. I had a cup of coffee, some scrambled eggs, some fried potatoes, and two pieces of toast. The total bill was about $10 really, not that bad and then I left a $2 tip, so the cost was $12. During the meal, though, I couldnt help but calculate the costs in the back of my head. I was served roughly three scrambled eggs with a little bit of cheese on them, probably a single potatos worth of fried potatoes, two cups of coffee, and two pieces of toast with maybe a teaspoon of butter between them. So, lets look at the ingredient list of that meal: + three eggs + 1/4 cup shredded cheese + 1/2 potato + a small amount of onion in with the potatoes + two slices of bread + roughly a tablespoon of butter + two cups of black coffee + a negligible amount of salt and pepper I could assemble those ingredients into a breakfast at home in about the same time it took them to get breakfast out to me at that restaurant, and then Id have a few items that would go in the dishwasher afterwards. So, what would the ingredients have cost me? + I can get a dozen eggs for $1.99, so three eggs cost $0.50. + I can get eight cups of shredded cheese at the local grocery store for $5, so 1/4 cup of shredded cheese would cost $0.16. + A typical potato weighs about 12 ounces and Id estimate that I had half of a potato on my plate, and a pound of potatoes these days comes in around $1, so the potatoes cost about $0.38. + The small amount of onion was probably $0.05. + I can get a loaf of 20 slices of bread for about $2.50, so two slices cost $0.25. + I can get a stick of butter for about $0.75 and that contains 8 tablespoons, so a tablespoon of butter costs about $0.09. + I can make two cups of coffee at home for about $0.70 using my usual coffee making technique. + Well add on another $0.10 for seasonings like salt and pepper. The total cost of those ingredients is $2.23. Even if you might quibble with the cost of each item and think that it would be more than I stated, youd be hard pressed to get this over $3 unless you went very high end with each item. As I noted earlier, I think my time investment would have been similar if I prepared and ate this meal at home, though I would have been busy in the kitchen for 15 minutes instead of reading the menu, ordering, and staring at my phone for 15 minutes waiting on the food. However, that effort would have saved me about $10. The meal quality probably would have been pretty similar, but Im pretty sure I would have at least liked my coffee at home better. Im kind of picky about coffee and I really like my home brew recipe. This experience reminded me of a few key principles of food frugality (and taught me a few things as well). Eating out consistently is a very expensive endeavor. When you compare a meal prepared at home and a meal eaten out of similar quality, the meal eaten out will always be more expensive. When you eat out, youre not only paying someone to prepare it for you and someone to serve it to you and often someone to clean up for you and someone to manage those folks, youre also paying for the facilities to make and serve the food, the taxes, and some profit for the person who invested all the money to pay for all of these things. Sure, you can sometimes find a decent meal at a restaurant thats less expensive than a great meal at home, or a low quality meal at a restaurant thats less expensive than a good meal at home, but youre taking a serious cut in quality, and if you apply any sort of frugal planning and use low cost food staples at home, a restaurant is never going to consistently beat or even come close to the low cost of preparing food at home. I was really paying for convenience, not the food. When I went to that restaurant, my focus was on getting a decent meal relatively quickly. It seemed to be the fastest option available to me at the moment, and thus I was really paying for convenience rather than the food itself. Thats often a big consideration when people eat out. They do so because theyre hungry and theyre not near any options for preparing food themselves or to acquire low cost and quick to eat items. There are many places in America where the only convenient options for food are convenience stores and fast food restaurants, even in places where you might not expect this to be true. Situations where you need to spend for the sake of convenience are often prevented by better preparation. Whenever you find yourself in a situation where youre turning to a restaurant or a convenience store not because you want a nice meal on a special occasion, but because you need to do so out of convenience, its usually because either you didnt plan ahead at all or youre in a crisis moment. An emergency is understandable, but many meals that people eat out do so solely because they didnt plan ahead when they knew that there was a good chance that they might need to eat a quick meal or a hearty snack in a convenient way. There are a lot of ways to prepare for those kinds of situations, where you need a quick, convenient meal. You can make a lot of meals at home in advance so that you have items that can be popped in the microwave or oven at your convenience. You can use a slow cooker for a lot of meals. You can mostly prepare meals in advance, leaving only final assembly for busy evenings. You can prepare sack lunches to take with you. Or you can do this: I could have prepared better by keeping more food items in my bag. My favorite technique for keeping hunger at bay when Im out and about is to have a few food items in my backpack, which is pretty much always with me when I leave the house for more than a few minutes. Its because I didnt do this that I wound up in that Im hungry, theres no other food options, time to go to a restaurant situation. My routine should be that if I know Im going out and about soon, I make sure that my bag has some food items in it, just in case. Toss in an apple, some granola bars, a water bottle, a bag of nuts, maybe some crackers or something. The key is to just have something thats low cost and easy to eat in my bag. In fact, I usually have several granola bars and/or protein bars in my bag all the time for situations just like this one, but Id consumed them all over the previous few weeks and there was nothing in my bag. Eating out should be an experience you cant recreate at home. The meal I ate was perfectly fine, but it was one that I ate solely for convenience. It wasnt a special experience or a memorable experience. In fact, I probably would have forgotten about it had I not planned on writing this post. It would have become a forgotten $10 expense, the kind of lost $10 that ends up paving the road to financial struggles. The best financial approach to food that Ive found is to eat meals mostly prepared at home and mostly made out of low-cost staples and only eat out (or have treats) on genuinely special occasions. Its easy to learn how to cook a ton of great meals with low cost staples, especially if you have a reasonably well stocked pantry. On the other hand, special occasions are usually best when theyre really meaningful youre eating with someone special or its a truly special occasion and when theyre planned in advance so you can anticipate it. I have far more financial concern about a $15 meal from a restaurant three or four times a week than a $75 meal at a restaurant once every month or two. If thats the financial path youre on, its time to rethink the costs of eating out. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/some-thoughts-on-the-cost-of-eating-out/

[yumenosakiacademy]

Me.trocon 2017 Saturday

diary for future me, read if you want but it’s rly only 4 myself tbh. Cosplayed: mik.an Tsumiki

OKAY so the morning was rly bad and hectic and i dont like remembering it but i woke up and got ready bc the lol.ita fashion show was at 10 am and dad n i left and dad stopped by burger king to get himself some food but my cramps flared up BADLY and i had a midol in my bag so i took it out but im afraid of pills and cant swallow them so i was shaking and then i started crying and the drive-thru girl was like “oh gosh are you okay?” and i explained what was going on but rushed and sloppily and she was like “oh this happens to my lil sis too.. it’s okay sweetie just relax” or soething and i had dad park the car in the parking lot of burger king and for me to put my midol in a BK crospy crown and take a huge bite and swallow but that backfred and i chewed some of the pill and it was Blegh but the midol didnt kick in right away and the cramps were still v bad so i had dad rive me home so i could lie down for a while and i asked mom to use the heater bc she accidentally woke up so i asked her while she was awake and she kept saying no bc she liked it but when i begged she let me use her bed and used mine and it barely helped but overtime i gradually geew okay and hadd to calm myself so the stress wouldnt make my cramps return and i left at like 11 am and i missed the BB panel too but it’s Okay and i walked in and met up w haji near the ticket place and thankfully her mom let us wander around the con

so we went to the GF panel but i was mainly distracted by a small octopus plushie on some guy’s head and haji n i kept joking abt us knocking it off his head and abt the guy playing space jam and bassboosted music outside the panel room and it being audible whenever someone opened the door to leave or come in pff... but the dipper did the lamby dance and it was cute aa and the dipper offered ppl in the audience scooby snacks to any of the audience so haji n i had one n it was rly good aa i hadnt had one of those in years theyre Yummy...

Anyway, after that, i tried to go to the DR meetup, but it was rly rly tiny?? like we held it inside w like 2 handfuls of ppl and we tried to get the junkos to step on the tsumikis (there were 3 of us, including me) w 2 junkos bc i requested it but the junkos didnt wanna accidentally pantyshot the camera so we got up from our kneeling positions haha and haji went to the dealers room for a while while this was going on and i tried to help the mikan when she said she got a cut on her face but she said it was alright and eventualy haji came back and i left w her and we decided not to go to the m.lp panel that i kind of wanted to go to and instead went to the dealers room and looked around and i showed her the idol merch table and haji said she’d buy me anything bc she didnt get to give me a birthday present earlier on in the year so i looked around for a Big hamster plushie or something but those seemed expensive so we came back to the idol table and got me the tori keychain i’d been wanting since yesterday or thirsday and haji got a tsukasa and then we ran into the ppl running the fine panel and we all joked abt “ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS, EICHI!!” 

and we walked around for a bit more before going to the rw.by panel but we could barely hear and we had to sit at the back of the room due to lack of seats so haji and i just whispered to eachother the whole time and i had haji read part of an en.stars smut fic w impregnation kink (just kink not actual mpreg) and a lil stupid thing i wrote abt rei and koga and then we watched the service dog near us near the other corner and watched it lick the carpet and Rest and enjoyed watchin it then we tried to walk around and someone asked for a pic of me but i was like “UHH WHERES MY SYRINGE PROP” so haji thought i elft it on the floor of the other panel and she left to go find it while i waited near these ppl bc they were just hanging out anyway and i kept worrying like “shes been gone for a while.. is she okay this shouldve been quick oh god” and my cramps started returning a lil but i tried to keep myself calm and the uraraka was like “are you okay i can go try n retkrkieve her if she got lost” and i was like “it’s okay” and eventually i checked deep in my bag and found it and i tried to call haji but she arrived just as i called her and i was like “i found it im sorry aa” and then we Ran to the en.stars panel

AND THE EN.STARS PANEL WAS SO SO MUCH FUN!! I have the first half recorded on video and since it’s rly late rn, i wont type too much abt that, but i asked eichi if he was anyone’s sugar daddy and, if not, would he be mine and he said he was kind of one to hajime and bought him lots of things and haji asked who was the most into minions and it was apparently Tori and i showed them the scooby doo au i made w some of haji’s assistance and showed wtaru (and the others) the Scoobkai Doonata that i drew and they all were laughing and i wa glad aa and the topic of vore came up again and i showed them shino’s ku.rochia vore post and the kiryu was like “OH MY GOD CAN I GIV U MY TWITTER SO I CAN BE SENT THAT” and the panelists were laughing and tori read the tweet aloud while laughing and i told them the ensemble vore account and eichi was like “well, theyve prob gained more followers today” and i asked if anyone in the audience wanted to see it and omeone rasied their hand so i showed them and they were laughing too and it was Wild.wataru apparently named his doves after fine members and tomoya, and i asked kiryu if he could lift rabits + fine and they nodded and i later asked if he knew that he’s a thicc bara and the fandom thirsts for him and he laughed and nodded. Haji asked them if they’d heard rainbow circus nightcore bassboosted and the eichi said they played it at practice ssometimes (i thick this was ooc not in-character answer) and someone in the audience actually KNEW the person who made that and messaged them and they messaged them that tori said they liked them and the rainbow cisurcus stuff and the person replied w “ Why” and honestly this whole panel was FUN but so someone told us where the en.stars buttons were so the fine group, their friend the kiryu, haji, and i all went to the booth and got buttons and i said goodbye to eeryone and walked around for a minute then haji n i went into the vol.tron talk panel and haji had to leave aww and after that the vol.tron panel was mostly shitty fanfic reading, swearing, and roasts and i wanted to go to vol.tronival but for reason i thought thatd be rude bc the panelists were like “we have to compete w... THAT” and so i stayed and went on my ipad most of the time.

I went to the per.sona 5 q and a and it was so full that i had to stand in the back but they sometimes kept bringing up per.sona 4 and perso.na 3 so i was confused and they said they were abt to start trivia and it might have spoilers so i took that opportunity to leave bc i dont want spoilers and it was kind of boring so i walked around the dealers room and i found a Rock and Uno and i talked to them and turns out the Rock was actually the mondo from the day before bc they said “hey, sweetie!” in a nice tone and i was confused and they were like “ah im the mondo btw!” so we talked and i talked abt how i watched both seasons of nan.baka in like.. 2 days and i was like “uno’s best boy-” and rock (as a joke) went deadpan and walked away and i was like “ROCK IS ALSO A GOOD BOY JUST.. UNO...” and rock came back and i said that uno and nico stole my heart and uno fistbumped me and rock was like “you should cosplay w us sometime~!” and i said i was considering doing uno but couldnt and i cant do most of the characters bc long sleeves and rock said i’d be cute as the chinese qi kid and i was like “i cant paint myself either but thank you!” and they had to leave but i got rock’s tumblr and they called me cute or sweet and i looked around the dealers room for a second more before scurrying to the LL panel and apparently the thing was 2 hours??

but anyway it was p funny and we all just messed around and did q and a and games like handshake  killer and karaoke! i sang half of Sentimental Liars but my voice wasnt as loud as i wouldve liked it and kind of shaky bc i was cold and Nervous and the nico from the panel and another random guy clapped for me and the 2 en.stars fans in front of me said my voice sounded nice and at some point i overheard those 2 talking abt making a screamo cover of melody in the dark and i was like “omfg are yall gonna actually make a cover. go fully hardcore” and Dead girl walking and candy store got sung and it was a Fun panel. the kiryu from earlierwalked in too so when everyone was talkign to eachother near the end of the panel, i asked shino if they wanted to say anything to the kuro and shino asked them how ranking went and the kiryu said they couldnt rank and shino was just so happy and keysmashing and asked f i could say “pls lift me mr.bara” and the kiryu chuckled and the kiryu was like “do they want me to like.. do anyfin?” so i asked shino and all he said was “DAB” so i took a pic of the kiryu dabbing and shino said they hadnt been feeling well so it cheered them up so i told the kiryu that and they said to tell shino that that made them happy and when the kiryu and i swapped tumblr apparently they already follow me and im like “FGNEGN DUDE.. I KNO U IVE SEEN U IN MY FOLLOWERS LIST IM YUMENOSAKIACADEMY ROX...” n they were like “oH” and they showed me a funny post abt shu and i proposed a tri.ch shu hc and then they ahd to leave but i stayed for the vol.tron panel but i was messaging shino thru most of it but i saw lynds (as lance) get hugged by the panel’s lance and i read some en.stars doujins and messaged another friend too so i wasnt paying much attention, then istill stayed in the room for the rw.by panel, but same i was just on my ipad but i saw some of the dares and the jaune sang and stuff and evemtually it was over and i walked around taking pics before going outside to wait for dad to pick me up 

and i took a pic of a pidge, lance, and keith and gav em lollipops and the pidge was like “omg ur nails.. wait, did u go to a hai.kyuu panel last year?” and i was like “ah, no i was casu.al d v a” and they were like “yea, but u went TO  a hai.kyuu panel, yea?” and i said yea and they were like “aa i was the hinata u talked to. i recognized u bc the nails” and i laughed bc thats my only noticable feature, huh. pff