#jacen syndulla is force sensitive

[ravenhairedwaywanderer]

Man part 5 fucked me up

[raointean]

[is-that-sand-in-my-waffles]

Seeing Jacen sitting in Kanan's seat in the Ghost....

[qulrikkek]

Summary:

All this facade of cheerfulness on both sides was to mask the bantha in the room. They were leaders in their own right, just in different ways, and yet, they didn't dare to address what was hanging in the thick air between them. It was quite embarrassing, that even as adults, they were no more mature in this topic than teenagers.

Emotions so deep were uncharted territory.

[fulltimecatwitch]

not Hera and Din both taking their force sensitive sons to space battles 💀💀

[asteroids-and-tractorbeams]

The fact that Jacen Syndulla is not being trained as a Jedi is annoying beyond belief. This kid is one of THE MOST force sensitive untrained children we’ve EVER seen in Star Wars and you’re telling me that every time he says he wants to be a Jedi all he gets is a “that’s nice sweetie”?!!!

[illustratingari]

*AHSOKA SPOILERS EP 4*

“Mom, I’ve got a bad feeling.”

JACEN IS FORCE SENSITIVE CONFIRMED

[cuntyfieddemon]

OMFG YALL WE GOT JACEN HOW ARE WE DOING ????? ME IM NOT GOOD NGL

[bewareofraiju]

If Sabine is revealed to be force-sensitive, that means Jacen most probably isn't.

Wouldn't he feel frustrated and jealous? The fact that each one of his family, one way or another, has strong and lasting emotional links to Kanan that keep persisting years after his death? Hoping to inherit some of Kanan's power in order to have a connection to the father he has never known, until to find out not only he doesn't have it, but his adoptive older sister, who has already spent several years with Kanan and fought by his side, is revealed to have one further special connection to his father whereas Jacen got nothing?

He has his father's physical appearence, yes, but after all, is it worth it? He's part twi'lek but looks fully human. You can't tell me he didn't experience distrust from other twi'leks at best and bullying at worst whenever he interacted with them. Constantly correcting people questioning his heritage.

Does he wonder if he's even part of the Ghost Crew, since he hasn't partecipated in any of their adventures? And instead considers himself just a scant consolation prize for his mother?

That's why I've been rambling about Jacen so much during the last couple of years. He has potential to be part in very interesting stories, whether he's force sensitive or not.

[lostinmirkwood]

Oh my god Force-sensitive JACEN SYNDULLA. BE STILL MY HEART.

AND FINALLY KANAN’S NAME.

[kanansdume]

Okay, so I'm not ENTIRELY against the idea of Ahsoka, stupidly powerful Force user that she is, having an apprentice that is fairly weak in the Force. Strong enough to USE IT, but still just generally below average.

But it should've been JACEN.

Little Jacen Syndulla who Hera doesn't want to send away from her to go learn from Luke. Little Jacen who knows he doesn't really have what it takes to be a full Jedi and doesn't feel the call to do it, but has just enough Force sensitivity to need a little training in it. And neither Kanan nor Ezra are around anymore to help, so Hera turns to the only other Force sensitive family friend she can to ask for training for her son.

Except that Ahsoka refuses, because she doesn't really feel ready to train ANYBODY yet. She's still reeling from the revelation of Anakin's betrayal, even so many years later. She didn't even complete her own training, she barely would have had 2 years' worth of training before she left and hasn't exactly had contact with another Jedi Master in the 20 years since then to help her complete it.

You can even have this be a long drawn out argument that Hera and Ahsoka have been having for years without it feeling like we missed a season's worth of content. Hera can just be making pointed digs that Jacen still needs training, that she's doing the best she can to help him figure out things like meditation and basic philosophies on her own, but that there's only so much she can do when she's not Force sensitive herself and can't understand how that even WORKS well enough to explain it to Jacen. And Ahsoka keeps saying no, she keeps staying well away from little Jacen Syndulla and Hera's very sensible arguments.

You can have little Jacen feel rejected, like Ahsoka doesn't want him because he's not powerful enough, because he's not a REAL Jedi.

And of course Ahskoa doesn't feel like a "real" Jedi herself, despite how powerful she is in the Force, so this could lead to an interesting connection between the two of them. The powerful Force user who never finished training and left the Order before its destruction, whose Master was the one who destroyed the Jedi in the first place, and the weak Force user who so desperately wants training even if he knows he'll never be a full Jedi because of it. Neither of them are "real" Jedi perhaps, and neither of them will ever truly become one. Ahsoka can't get back the years she lost and Jacen can't magically get more powerful in the Force. But the two of them could maybe find a connection between each other and recognize what being a Jedi means to each of them personally.

Because teaching someone else is central to a Jedi's life. Training a new Jedi brings you that much closer to understanding what it truly means to BE a Jedi. And Ahsoka has to let go of all of her fears about Anakin and her doubts over her own abilities before she can truly accept that and help Jacen start to overcome his own fears and doubts.

[ahsoka-in-a-hood]

My prevailing grudge, however misplaced, against the concept of genetic force sensitivity does extend to Jacen Syndulla. I want as many biological children of jedi as possible to not be force sensitive. It's the principle of the thing.

[amarcia]

Replacing Sabine with Jacen Syndulla, an actual child of a jedi who is force sensitive and is acting his age (like an edgy teenager) and is being angsty that Ahsoka put his training on hold or whatever

[jessicas-pi]

Okay so @kanerallels and @lone-star-ranger said they'd love to see how I would have done the Sequel Trilogy if I had been put in charge of it. This is a mere sampling of how I would abuse the power of frankensteining the movies into my own masterpiece of nonsense:

During Rey's first appearance in TFA, when she's scavenging, she's listening to music on a space walkman in an obvious GotG spoof.

Jacen Syndulla would appear once every movie, but never as a character with the rebellion. just Some Guy In A Situation.

whenever there's background music, at least one extra in the background would be dancing to it.

Poe and Kylo used to be friends as kids and Poe tells everyone he can about all the stupid stuff mini-Ben did when he was little

There would be an option in the extras menu for BB-8 to have subtitles.

pretty sure they deleted a scene where rose bit hux. i'm undeleting it.

I keep the "somehow palpatine returned" line but Poe looks right into the camera as he says it

Rey's past is never revealed. Just to mess with people. I would secretly go online and provide dozens of contradictory "leaks" about who her parents were and then never publicly acknowledge any of them.

someone calls poe's fashion sense "rebel chic"

Finn swears the rebel base is haunted and nobody believes him. turns out he's force-sensitive and it's qui-gon jinn trolling him.

The real reason Han and Leia split up was that Han kept forgetting to put his dishes in the dishwasher

[illuminatedquill]

Sabine Wren

Passed Through Fire

Story summary: An unexpected conversation with Jacen Syndulla and his mother, Hera, leaves Sabine Wren with doubts regarding her path as a Jedi. Later that same night Sabine experiences an intense Force vision; what she learns within it will lead to a choice - one that will determine her future as a Jedi, forever.

Sequel to this story:

The Wren-Bridger watchtower is quiet; night on Lothal is falling fast. The stars from the balcony can be seen twinkling overhead, too many to count. Below, the fields of grass sway in the cool evening breeze.

Somewhere, a family of loth-cats scurries through the undergrowth looking for shelter.

Somewhere, the distant howl of loth-wolves can be heard, echoing through the night air.

To some, it is a warning. But for Sabine, she finds the howl to be a comfort. As does her partner, and fellow Jedi, Ezra Bridger.

Sabine leans on the balcony railing taking in the sight and, once again, finds herself falling in love with Lothal. It is home. Always will be.

Our home.

There’s a shared feeling of familiarity and warmth that crosses through the Force. She turned to find Ezra, smiling at her from the doorway.

“It’s a beautiful view,” he said.

Sabine rolled her eyes, but couldn’t fight back a smile.

“Hey, it really is,” Ezra protested. “Lothal nights are one of a kind.”

Sabine arches an eyebrow at her partner. “So, you weren’t talking about me?”

“I mean, what words can be used to describe your beauty, Lady Wren? Truly, there are none that can properly convey the constellations in your eyes-”

Sabine scoffed. “What third-rate romantic holo-vid did you pull that from?”

“Actually, I got it from Lando. He said it a lot better, though.”

“Lando, huh. Maybe I should ring him up and hear how it’s properly said, then.”

She made to move inside the watchtower - until Ezra playfully grabbed her by the waist and twirled her into a smooth dance move that dipped her near the floor with him bent over her in a graceful arch.

“Not a chance, Lady Wren,” he said, his eyes serious.

Sabine’s pulse sky-rocketed. Oh, very smooth, Ezra Bridger, she thought.

After a heated moment, he stood her back up and took a bow.

“Well? How was that? Still want to call Lando?”

Trying her level best to sound non-chalant, Sabine replied, “Nice moves.”

“Ah, high praise.” His eyes sparkled as he pointed out, “I don’t think it’s quite that cold for your cheeks to be flushed, however, my Lady Wren.”

Sabine cursed silently. He held out a hand to her.

She took it. "To bed?" she asked.

"Sure. Unless you want to do some light sparring first? To help settle you."

"Not the exercise I'm interested in, at the moment," she said with a smirk.

Ezra's eyes flashed with heat. "Well, let's not waste anymore time."

They were half-way through the living room when their comm station beeped, alerting to an incoming call.

Sabine cursed out loud this time.

Ezra chuckled and crossed over to the comms.

The blue hologram sputtered forth the image of Jacen Syndulla appeared.

"Hi, Ezra! Hi, Sabine!" said the young boy. His grin was infectious in its youthful energy.

"Jacen!" Sabine joined her partner at the comm station, hurriedly buttoning up her blouse. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah!" Jacen peered closer at the two of them. "Are you guys okay?"

Ezra said, "Yeah, we are. Why?"

"You two look out of breath. Been sparring again?"

Sabine coughed loudly and smoothed her hair. Ezra hid a grin behind his hand.

"Sort of," Sabine said, sheepishly. "Why are you calling this late?"

Jacen grinned and said, "Mom's taking me to see Ahsoka tomorrow."

Sabine looked at Ezra, who mirrored the same look of surprise she had. They knew that Jacen was Force sensitive and most likely held the same strength that lied inherent in his father's blood, Kanan Jarrus. It was only a matter of time before the Jedi path came calling for him.

Hera, however, had been particularly quiet about what she thought regarding her son's future path. As a mother, it can't have been easy for her to think about giving Jacen to the Jedi for training.

As both Sabine and Ezra knew, that was a lifetime commitment. And it came with a steep price.

"Whoa, buddy." Ezra stroked his beard. "That's a lot sooner than we expected."

Jacen pouted. "Really? I've been waiting for ages!”

"We're happy for you, Jacen. Promise." Sabine side-eyed Ezra, who just shrugged. "What does your mom think about this? Is she excited like you are?"

The young boy's face clouded over. "No . . . she pretends to be, but I feel - I don't know. I feel a lot of different things from her whenever we talk about it."

Sabine nodded. "That makes sense. It's a big decision, Jacen."

Jacen nodded. "Ahsoka asked to think about who I want to teach me. As my Master."

"Really?" asked Sabine. "And who do you want as your Master?"

Jacen looked directly at Sabine. "You, Sabine."

Her heart came shuddering to a halt. She could feel Ezra's gaze fall on her.

"Me?" she asked. "Not Ezra?"

"Yes, you." He pointed at her this time as clarification.

Sabine snuck a look at Ezra, worried. She shouldn't have been; his eyes were full of pride and affection without a single trace of jealousy.

As her mind raced with questions, Ezra asked, dryly, "Is it because she has Mandalorian armor and a jetpack?"

"Noooo . . . well, maybe a little bit."

Sabine buried her face in her hands. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Training Kanan's child. That was a huge responsibility.

Am I up to it? Can I do right by him?

It went without saying how much Kanan had influenced her and Ezra's lives. They wouldn't be here without him.

She missed his presence every day. And she knew that Ezra thought about his former master just as much, if not more.

Without looking up, Sabine asked, "Did you tell Hera about your choice?"

There was a pause. Sabine peeked out from her hands and saw the young boy's face look uncharacteristically anxious.

"Yeah, I told Mom."

"And what did she say?"

Jacen looked furtively to the side for a moment, like he was watching for something. Then he whispered, "Promise you won't get mad?"

Ezra looked confused. "Why would we be mad, Jacen?"

"You have to promise," Jacen urged.

Sabine shared a look with Ezra and then nodded. He replied, "We promise."

I've got a bad feeling about this.

Jacen nodded, and then took a deep breath. "Okay, then. She said . . . Mom said she was against it."

The young boy looked down at his feet, ashamed. "Mom doesn't want Sabine as my master."

Sabine sat down, stunned at the admission. She could feel Ezra's puzzlement emanating through the Force, laced with threads of uncertainty.

Hera didn't trust Sabine to train her child.

Not hard to think about why, Sabine.

Even so . . . it hurt to think that Hera didn't have faith in her.

He was about to ask another question when another voice, familiar and filled with outrage, cut in from Jacen's end of the call.

"Jacen! What are you doing?"

Jacen jerked in surprise, eyes widening in horror. "Mom! I thought-"

"Who are you talking to this late at night - oh, you didn't."

The familiar figure of Hera Syndulla, General of the New Republic, filled the hologram gently pushing Jacen to the side. Out of view, Sabine heard Jacen yell, "Chopper! You were supposed to warn me if she was coming!"

Ezra huffed a laugh.

Hera was dressed in plain, comfy night wear - which, to Sabine's realization, none of them had ever seen Hera in casual clothing before. The former Rebel was always seen in her customary flight suit.

She looked tired, but her eyes were sharp eyeing both of them. "Hello, Ezra. Hello, Sabine."

"Evening, Hera. Sounds like you're having a busy day tomorrow from what Jacen tells us." Ezra sounded calm, as though he wasn't perturbed about what Jacen had just said mere second ago.

"Yeah. Sounds like Jacen said quite a lot while I was in the refresher."

She glared to the side and said, in a tone that brooked no dissent, "Bed. Now."

There was a blur in the background of the hologram that had to be Jacen. Hera watched her son off-screen for a little while more and then sighed.

"Sorry about that," she muttered. "He's too wired about tomorrow."

"It's fine," said Sabine. "We always love hearing from him."

"Hmmm. Maybe not this late at night, though." Hera rubbed at her eyes. "I'm going to get a cup of caf."

"We can leave you for the night if you want-" Ezra began, before he was cut off.

"No. I heard everything Jacen told you. And I suspect that Sabine wants to talk with me."

Sabine stared at the hologram. "Are you sure you're not Force-sensitive? Maybe Jacen gets it from you."

Hera gave a half-smile. "Funny." She looked at Ezra. "Ezra, I love seeing you, but this conversation is between myself and Sabine."

Ezra looked at Sabine and she felt his worry and reassurance pulsing through the connection they had.

"It's okay, Ezra. Go to sleep. I'll try not to be long."

He sighed. "Okay." Leaning down, he gave her a kiss on the cheek before departing.

Pausing at the bedroom doorway, he said, "Hera."

"Hmmm?"

"Be nice. Please."

Hera arched an eyebrow. "I don't take orders from you, last I checked."

"Consider it a personal favor to me."

She sighed. "Very well."

Something eased out of his shoulders. "Thanks."

He went inside the bedroom. Sabine and Hera were alone.

"Let me grab that cup and then we'll start." The hologram showed static for a second as the call was put on hold.

Sabine crossed her arms and marshalled her emotions.

Anger. Fear. Sadness.

The emotions Jedi were supposed to know how to deal with.

Emotions that she struggled with every day. She felt no wiser, no more adept at being a Jedi then when she first started all those years ago.

Was it a wonder that Hera didn't want her to mentor Jacen?

There was movement and the hologram sharpened to reveal Hera once more with a freshly brewed cup of cafe. She blew on it for a moment and then said, "You go first."

"I . . . understand your decision, Hera. But it does hurt to hear that you don't trust me to teach Jacen."

Hera's gaze turned sharp, along with her tone. "Not just with Jacen, Sabine. I don't trust you at all. With anything."

Sabine felt her hands unconsciously ball into fists. She breathed deeply, trying to regulate her emotions. Feeling that loss of trust; the relationship she had cherished so much with Hera . . . it was gone.

She had thrown it away when she handed the map to Baylan, along with so many other important things.

"You never understood me." The words slipped out; Sabine barely registered that it was coming from her mouth.

Hera snorted. "Oh, I understand why you did it. All for Ezra. Because you loved him so much, and wanted him back so desperately."

There was a brief pause as she took a sip - and then Hera continued: "Well, news flash, Sabine. You weren't the only one who loved Ezra and wanted to see him come back home."

Sabine crossed her arms. "Ten years. You never came forward with a lead on him-"

"I was busy helping to re-build the New Republic! And I had Jacen to take care of! You think I didn't want to help look for him?"

"And where were you when Mandalore was burned! When my family died! And then Ahsoka left me . . . Ezra was all I had left, don't you get it? I had no one!" Sabine was standing now, her voice raising to almost a shout. She could feel her hands trembling with the raw rage and hurt that was spiraling out of her.

At the mention of her family, Hera's eyes lost some of their anger. She looked away for a moment, blinking hard.

Sabine suddenly realized that Hera was crying.

The rage inside her chest quelled and began to disperse. She took another deep, calming breath.

"You're right about that. I wasn't there for you when . . . when Mandalore fell. And your family - Sabine, I'm so sorry for that. I should have been there."

Sabine sat down, feeling exhausted. "It's in the past, Hera."

"No, it isn't. Not for you," Hera said. "And that's my fault."

A silence spread between the two of them that was, for a moment, impenetrable.

Sabine broke it first. "Hera. None of it was your fault. I wasn't exactly . . . I wasn't - it was a bad time for me. I didn't give out any indication that I wanted anyone around me during - well, really, for a long time. Not just with what happened on Mandalore."

Hera nodded. "That's true. But I should have tried harder for you."

Sabine began to feel the tangled ball of emotions inside her dissipate. Tears began to flow freely down her face.

"I messed up so bad, Hera. I know that. Handing over that map leading to Thrawn . . . do you want to know the worst part?"

"What would that be?"

Her voice was barely a whisper. "I would do it all over again. Even if I knew then how it would all turn out. Even if it meant losing your trust and respect."

Hera sighed. "Oh, Sabine."

"It's not just Ezra, you know? I was so lost. I've been feeling like a failure for so long and I wanted to not feel that way anymore. After the War ended . . . all the victory celebrations and I just couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel happy about any of it. I just kept thinking about what we lost."

She kept talking, just letting it all spill out; everything that had been rotting inside her, spreading a poison that needed to be expelled.

"I kept losing, Hera. Don't you get it? You. Zeb. Even Chopper, that blasted droid, went with you. And I was stuck. And I kept coming back to Ezra - how I felt like the universe owed me this one thing. Just this once, for everything that I did."

She let out a shaky breath. "Just one thing to keep. To call my own. I was tired of giving up everything for a greater good."

Hera asked, "Thinking about Ezra was the only thing that made you happy?"

Sabine let out a laugh. "Yeah, that goofball. Who knew that the kid on Lothal would end up . . . meaning so much. I just kept holding onto that memory of him and it got me through a lot."

It kept me alive, she thought.

"You lost sight of him," Hera said, not unkindly. "The real Ezra. The one who would not have wanted his return to come with the risk of danger to our galaxy."

Sabine nodded.

"Sabine, I understand that. More than you know." Hera leaned back in her chair and sipped at her caf again. "Everyday, I think about Kanan. Especially when it comes to Jacen. I feel so out of my depth with him because of his growing abilities."

Hera sighed. "My own kid. Kanan would know what to do, but he's not here. And sometimes . . . sometimes I resent him for that. Leaving me. Leaving Jacen."

"And then you took on Jedi training with Ahsoka. And I was so hopeful . . ."

"That I could help with Jacen?"

Hera nodded. "Yes."

Sabine waved at herself in a sardonic fashion. "But I turned out like this, instead."

Hera's eyes flashed with renewed fire. "You put my child in danger, Sabine. It's not just about your mistake - you abused your power."

Sabine said, sharply, "What power? I didn't have access to the Force yet, remember?"

"It's not about the Force, Sabine. That's not what makes a Jedi. Even I know that. No, you made a choice. You gambled the fate of our galaxy because of your desire to see Ezra again."

Choice. My choice to save Ezra at the cost of trillions of lives.

"And if you made such a terrible decision before having the Force, then I can't bear to think about what you might do with it. Because there are stories about Jedi who became tempted like you did. And what they did with their abilities is the stuff of nightmares."

Choice. The word echoed in Sabine's head.

"You're worried that I might pass this on to Jacen," Sabine said. Her voice was calm, despite the storm brewing in her stomach.

"Yes," said Hera, quietly. "I see this shadow in you sometimes . . . and it scares me. Jacen can't see it. He adores you."

"His feelings blind him to my failings," said Sabine. "Sounds familiar."

There was another pause. Hera waited for a reply, sipping at the last dregs of her caf.

Sabine just stood there, unable to process anything. She just wanted to sleep - forever.

"Sabine."

She looked at Hera's image.

"Are you certain that this is the right path for you?"

"Being a Jedi?" asked Sabine in a monotone.

Hera nodded.

"I don't know. I struggle with it, everyday."

Hera took that in without comment.

"Why do you want to do it, then? It's not a path that called to you, like with Kanan and Ezra. You chose it."

To atone. But she didn't say that out loud.

Hera, however, guessed at it. "If it's for some kind of penance that you think is owed . . . I'm not sure that's a good reason to be a Jedi."

"Then why should I be a Jedi, then?"

Hera shrugged. "That's for you to figure out." She checked to the side and groaned. "I really hope that chronometer is lying about the time."

"You should get some sleep, Hera," said Sabine, quietly.

"I'll try." She began to turn off the call.

"Hera." Sabine couldn't help herself.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think - can I make this right for you? And Jacen? Can you ever forgive me; trust me again?"

Hera looked at her with such pity and sadness, then. Sabine felt something inside her crumble to dust at the expression.

"I don't think I can, Sabine."

And she was gone.

Sabine turned to enter the watch-tower's sleeping quarters. The doors slid open and she found Ezra, laying awake on their bed.

"You heard?" she asked.

"Yes." He held out his arms. "Come here."

She crawled into his arms and wept her shoulders shaking with bitter grief.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

In the dream, she is alone.

Kneeling on a stage of starless night.

A voice comes forth - one that she hasn't heard in a lifetime.

"You look a little lost."

Sabine turns to find the achingly familiar figure of Kanan Jarrus, garbed in traditional Jedi robes.

She whispers, "Kanan." All the memories of him threaten to overwhelm her in this moment.

He smiles. "Hey, Sabine. It's been a while."

In a small voice, Sabine asks, "Are you real? Is this happening in my head?"

Kanan shrugged. "Technically, everything happens in your head. Doesn't make it any less real."

"Is this the Force again? Trying to tell me something?"

Kanan turned serious. "Yeah. I've been watching you for a while now, Sabine."

"And? Impressed by my progress?"

Kanan sat down in front of her, cross-legged. "It hurts."

"Yeah?" She wanted to sound defiant, but all that came out was a croak. "Which part?"

He just looked at her with compassion. "It hurts to see you in so much pain."

Sabine didn't want to talk about this. "Where are we?"

"Within the heart of every Jedi lies a place of stillness; a place to reflect, when they meditate. I call it the Still Place."

She snorted. "The 'Still Place'? Kind of lame."

Kanan pouted. "Look, it's not meant to be creative. It just is, okay? That's what it's called."

Sabine sighed and looked around the empty space they inhabited. "Looks like my Still Place is pretty barren."

"It looks different to every person. Focus, Sabine."

She did, closing her eyes - and . . .

The gentle rustle of grass fields in the wind.

She opened her eyes to find herself in a clearing, surrounded by familiar grass lands. Craning her neck upwards, she saw the familiar night sky view of countless stars. In the distance, she saw the capital city and the watchtower she now called home.

"Of course," she said. "Where else would it be."

Kanan smiled. "I miss being here."

She soaked in the view of the world she loved and her former mentor, taking it all in.

"Why are you here, Kanan?"

He returned his gaze to her. "It's not to punish you, Sabine."

"I think I would deserve it. You know what I've done?"

"I know. But it's time to let that go. It's weighing you down. It's hurting you."

"What is?"

"Your attachment to your failures."

Sabine scoffed. "What attachment? I hate my failures! I hate that I messed up!"

"They're a part of you. You need to accept it. And move on."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "That makes no sense."

"Try."

"Jedi don't try," she shot back. "They do."

"When it comes to the matters of the Force and their abilities, then yes," replied Kanan. "But in everything else - look, Sabine, the universe is a complicated place. There's no guarantee of anything. That's the secret."

He leaned forward. "Sometimes, the best we can do is try. Even Jedi make mistakes."

"Even like the ones I've made?" she asked.

"Okay, that's a pretty exclusive club," Kanan admitted. "But there are other Jedi who did make mistakes like you."

Sabine looked at him and said, "Hera thinks I'm irredeemable, you know. That I've gone too far and abused my power."

Kanan gave her a look. "Do you think that?"

"I saved Ezra. And it came at a cost."

"You also stated that you would do it again, even knowing the outcome. You also haven't answered my question."

She thought about it. "I don't want to be irredeemable."

"What do you want, Sabine?"

"I want to be a Jedi."

Kanan cocked his head. "Why? You've never shown an interest before, when I was training Ezra."

"No," she admitted. "But I was watching. And I saw how it made you better. You both became stronger."

"Is that what you desire? The powers of a Jedi?"

Sabine frowned. "No . . . no." She let out a breath of frustration. "I don't know how to put it."

Kanan waited for her to gather her thoughts. And, at last, Sabine found the words.

"Taking the path of the Jedi made you both . . . more. More than what you already were. But you both were still yourselves, but also not just yourselves." She still found the statement to be clunky, but it felt true to what she felt.

Kanan smiled and nodded for her to continue.

"I wanted that. To be more than what I was. To protect others, like you both did. To prevent tragedies like we experienced from happening to everyone else. The Rebellion had plenty of soldiers, Generals, and heroes . . . but what the galaxy really needed were Jedi."

She looked up at Kanan. "And you and Ezra were gone."

"So, you wanted to step up. Become what you thought everyone needed."

Sabine nodded.

Kanan smiled sadly. "I'm sorry, Sabine. I didn't mean to leave you with that burden."

"It was my choice. But, I let everyone down."

"Being a Jedi isn't about the lightsabers or the Force. It's about your choices, Sabine. It's about being the best possible version of yourself. You didn't need to be a Jedi first and foremost - everyone needed you to be yourself."

Sabine shook her head, feeling the tears starting to well up. "But it doesn't matter, Kanan. I think doing this - going down this path, it made me worse."

"Power," said Kanan, "regardless of where it comes from - the Force, political, or financial - is an amplifier for every person. It doesn't change them. It just gives you the ability to be more of . . . yourself."

"So . . . I am irredeemable?"

"You just said that you don't wish to be, right?"

"Right," said Sabine.

Kanan chuckled. "Then you won't."

She blinked at him. "It's that easy?"

The chuckle turned into a full throated laugh. It'd been so long since she'd heard him laugh.

"No, no. You've got to put in a lot of work, Sabine. But if you decide that you want to make amends, then you can."

"Hera doesn't seem to think so."

Kanan stopped laughing. "She'll be a tough one," he admitted. "You crossed a line with her."

He gazed directly at her and for a moment his eyes turned piercing. "You put our son in danger, Sabine."

Sabine felt a chill go through her that had nothing to do with the Lothal evening breeze. "Then why are you helping me?"

"Because I care for you. And so does she. It's why she's so angry with you."

Kanan stood and ignited his lightsaber. The blue blade was bright as any star, casting brilliant light in the quiet field around them.

"Are you ready? To face what comes next?"

Sabine looked at that sky-blue blade and asked, "What comes next, Kanan?"

"Joy. Despair. Love. Heartbreak. And life." He stared at her, face unreadable. "So much of it. If you want."

Nothing about the conversation had particularly inspired her to continue, she reflected. Kanan had simply told her what she needed to hear.

It would be tough. It would be hard, heart-breaking labor to make amends and find her way.

But . . . she wanted to keep fighting. She wanted to do it.

Sabine would see it through to the end. Make more mistakes, learn from them, and keep going. She would try her best and, when the time came, leave this galaxy with as few regrets possible.

And, hopefully, make it a better place for some.

"I'm ready," she said, quietly.

The blade lowered and rose onto each of her shoulders without touching.

"By the right of the Council; by the will of the Force. I dub thee, Sabine Wren, Jedi Knight of the Republic."

The lightsaber blade retracted into its hilt. Kanan held out a hand.

She took it and rose to her feet.

"That's it?" she asked. "Don't I get a fancy parade or something?"

His laughter, warm and loving, followed her out of the dream.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The next day, Ezra took Sabine to the hangar bay where the re-salvaged G9, christened The Starburst Phoenix, laid in wait.

He knew that she wanted to focus her mind on something positive considering the mood from last night. Sabine didn't say anything but she appreciated the gesture to cheer her up, nonetheless.

It was good to have a Jedi partner. You were never really alone. Sabine couldn't fathom why the old Jedi Order forbade these kinds of relationships.

They were mid-way through retrofitting the laser turrets when a call came through the comms.

It was Hera.

Ezra looked at Sabine. "If you want, I'll take this."

She shook her head. Sometimes, all we can do is try our best.

"I'm good, Ezra. Go ahead and answer it."

He did. Hera's voice came through, sounding unsteady.

"Hey, Hera," said Ezra. "How'd it go?"

"Ahsoka finished her tests. He's ready to start his official training." Her voice sounded stuffy, like she had been crying.

Sabine spoke. "I'm sorry, Hera."

"No, it's a good thing. He was always meant for this. You should have seen his face, how it lit up . . . I can't take this from him."

There was a few moments of silence. Hera's voice came back on the line, this time sounding more normal.

"When does his training start?" asked Ezra.

"That's the good news. Her and Skywalker are still setting up the Academy and rounding up other candidates. It will still take some time. Maybe a year, at the most."

"You still have time to spend with him," said Sabine, relieved.

"Yeah. I told the Council that I would be taking the next year off to spend time with my son. Mon Mothma personally approved it."

"Good," said Sabine. "They owe you."

"Yeah," replied Hera. "They do."

There was a long pause and then, barely there: "I'm scared."

Sabine caught Ezra's look. He motioned at her to speak.

She frowned and said, "What are you scared of, Hera?"

"Letting Jacen go. The last time I did that with people I loved . . . it didn't end well."

"When was the last time?"

"Kanan. Ezra. And then, you. I let you all go. I should have fought harder to stay by your side."

Sabine let out a breath. "None of that is your fault, Hera. There was a war. It's different this time with Jacen."

"I can hope, right? Trust in the Force." She sounded almost sarcastic in that last one.

"If you need something more, then trust in me, Hera," said Ezra. "And trust in Sabine. We'll look out for him, I promise."

Hera was silent. There were some voices on the other end of the call. Sabine heard a chuckle.

"Jacen wants to know if he can borrow Sabine's jetpack for his training."

Ezra grinned at Sabine. "We'll talk about it," Sabine replied, smiling.

"My vote is no," said Hera, firmly. "But, who knows? It might come in handy some day for a Jedi padawan."

"It did for me," said Sabine.

"And me," added Ezra.

Hera snorted. "Positive influences you two are. The New Jedi Order's best and brightest."

"Hera," began Sabine, cautiously.

"Yes, Sabine?"

Try my best. Make amends.

"Listen. Now that you've got some time off, Ezra and I were wondering if you would love stopping by Lothal to help with a personal project of ours."

Ezra raised his eyebrows questioningly at her but didn't say anything.

"Oh, yeah. Heard you picked up a real clunker of a ship. G9, right?"

"Hey," protested Ezra. "She's got it where it counts, you know. They flew the G9s during the Clone Wars. I heard even some Jedi used them as personal starships."

"Right," snorted Hera. "I'll take your word for it, Ezra, but I'd take the Ghost over your ship, any day.

"Anyway," continued Sabine, glaring daggers at Ezra, "if you wanted to help out. We could use some experienced hands on the repairs. Make sure nothing blows up when we power it on, that sort of thing."

"You haven't powered it on, yet?"

"No. Because we're worried it might blow up if we do. Haven't you been listening?"

Hera sighed. "Repair work, huh. Great start to a vacation."

Sabine replied, "You don't have to, if you think it's too much to handle."

"Nah. Whatever's broken, we'll fix it together," Hera replied. Sabine could almost see Hera's gentle smile in her mind's eye.

Sabine looked at Ezra, who reached out and held her hand.

"My thoughts, exactly."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Author's Note: This was a really hard one to write. I don't know how I feel about this; I'm not sure if I got everything I wanted to across or if I properly fleshed out the motivations for Sabine. Any thoughts or comments would be greatly appreciated.

Gonna take a break from writing fics for a while but, never fear, I'm already planning the next one. It's gonna be Ezra focused. Stay tuned!

[dotthings]

You know who we now have two hints (one in animation, one in live action) that she can listen to the force? At least hear it? Hera Syndulla.

In Star Wars Rebels, she feels Kanan's force ghost touching her shoulder and she puts her hand over his ghostly hand. As far as we know, the only people in Star Wars who have heard or seen force ghosts are Jedi. How did Hera sense Kanan's force ghost? I don't think she can see his force ghost, but she felt it.

In Ahsoka, her son (Kanan's son) Jacen asks her to listen to the waves and hear the lightsaber battle he can hear going on in the WBW. So Hera tries, because Jacen asked her...and she can hear the lightsabers too.

Does it only work for Hera when it's a strongly force sensitive person she's close to? Or is it something else? Is Hera able to hear the force, like Chirrut Imwe?

Which doesn't mean she can manipulate it, or has tk. But maybe she can hear it.

Hera, maybe, has some force sensitivity--and she's not blocked off to it, she's not even conscious of doing it really, she does it by instinct.