#jake emeto

[dudadragneel]

Sickfic Masterlist

Hello guys! This has been long due! 

But finally the masterlist is here! I’ll divide into the fandoms that I have added on the pinned post! I’ll put the link to this masterlist at the beginning of the pinned post as well! 

ANIME

My Hero Academia 

- Weight I. 

- Weight II.

- Quirks and their consequences

SPYXFAMILY 

- An Unsual Day 

One Piece 

Coming soon!

Trigun Stampede

Coming soon!

LOZ - Legend of Zelda

Coming soon!

KPOP

Stray Kids 

- Stubborn part I

- Stubborn part II

- Airplane sickfic

- Public Life

- Winter Cabin

- High School A.U

- Summer Vacation

- Consequences

- Responsibility

- An Eventful Weekend

- The Eldest Falls Ill

- Family Dinner

- A Tiring Trip

- A Dangerous Move

- Just a Case of Bad Luck

- Stressful Day

- Hectic Life

- A Date Gone downhill

- Don't Hide It

- The Only Hyung

- Of Heat and Pain 🔞

- So Close Yet So Far

ENHYPEN

- Tour Hardships 

That’s it for now! I’ll update this as I post more sickfics!

See you soon!

[crinkled-emotions]

CARSICK HANGMAN

CARSICK HANGMAN

HARSICK CANGMAN

CARSICK HANGMAN

WATERMELON SUGAR

CARSICK HANGMAN

Pooty behave yourself- how did that watermelon sugar get there??

You KNOWWWWW this is on my mind all the damn time at the moment

Let's goooooo!

WATAHMELAH SUGAH (Aussie Version)

(you don't want to know how long this has been in my inbox)

-

It came out at a party almost ten years ago. Jake had whispered it into Bradley's shoulder before they were Hangman and Rooster. The other man had held his side, and sent him a funny look as his cheeks flushed from the alcohol they'd been drinking.

"But you don't get nauseous when you're flying?"

"Only commercial."

"Bullshit."

Jake had laughed, pulling away from Bradley to go and find Javy, later known as Coyote but better known as Jake's best friend. Bradley had watched him go, an amused smile on his face when Jake jumped on to Javy's back and that was the end of it.

Until now.

-

"Roo."

"Bagman, why are you here?"

"Because I'm the only one who wanted to keep you company; even your dad got on the jet willingly."

Rooster's brows furrowed, no longer fond but mildly exasperated. He'd decided he was too old to be doing this song and dance long ago, but Hangman brought it out of him every damn time.

"Didn't want to chance hurling in front of your CO, Seresin? Mav wouldn't care, man, he's not that kind of boss."

This time Jake's face tightened, and he clenched his jaw as he tossed his duffle bag into the back of the bronco alongside the bottles of water and extra supplies.

"Bradshaw, the only one who should be worried about their relationship with our CO is you."

Rooster got into the front seat, starting the Bronco to warm the engine whilst he did the final checks. Hangman got into the passenger side, knocking Rooster's water bottle out of the second cupholder to place his travel mug of coffee down.

"If you're that worried about me and Mav you can walk."

"And let you drive on your own? No way in hell. It's not safe."

"I wouldn't be alone-"

"-I meant with another person. C'mon, Bradshaw, you're a Cali boy; you need a Texas man to get you across the desert."

Silence. A pregnant pause.

"Get your fucking coffee cup out of that holder."

Jake did as told as Bradley put his water bottle back where he'd had it originally, sunglasses going over his eyes.

"Utah, here we come."

Rooster's eyebrows pinched again but he refrained from saying anything further, choosing to back out of the driveway carefully. In minutes Hangman was asleep in the seat beside him and Rooster took that as a good thing.

-

"Hey, can we pull over?"

"Seriously? We're not even out of San Diego."

"A man can't want to stretch his legs?"

"It's barely a half hour-"

Rooster glanced over and his brows furrowed, taking in the way Hangman shifted uncomfortably.

"Fine, fine. Hold on."

Rooster navigated off the side of the road and before he could further comment Hangman threw his door open, gagging into the dirt. Rooster took off his seatbelt and moved around the back of the Bronco, taking a deep breath as he narrowly dodged being puked on when he got close to the other aviator.

"Shit, dude. What happened?"

Jake slowly wiped his mouth, carefully sitting upright. Bradley reached into the back of the car, producing a fresh water bottle.

"Rinse your mouth. Are you good?"

"Yeah. Fuck, shit, sorry-"

"-no. No, uh, don't... apologise."

The pair shared a look, Jake passing Bradley back the water bottle and leaning back in his seat. They stood in awkward silence for a moment, just breathing and letting Rooster's heart settle back into a normal rhythm after the mild panic.

-

Rooster: so hypothetically

Maverick: oh no

Rooster: I didn't do it this time

Maverick: that's not helpful

Rooster: Hangman's with me

Maverick: and?

Rooster: and he puked on the side of the road

Maverick: I thought that was going in a completely different direction

Maverick: has he got a fever?

Rooster: not sure

Maverick: well could you check?

Rooster: negative

Maverick: could it be something he ate?

Rooster: I don't think so. His body is a temple etc

Maverick: what do you want me to do?

Rooster: what do I do?

Maverick: gatorade

Maverick: crackers

Maverick: trash bags

Maverick: pray

Rooster: gotcha

-

The gentle vibrations of the Bronco on the road was soothing to Bradley but hell to Jake. Every time Rooster glanced over Jake had his eyes closed and his arms crossed over his stomach, a furrow between his brows. With one hand on the steering wheel he reached out, gently nudging Jake's shoulder.

"You need me to pull over again?"

He cracked an eye open, grimace covering his features.

"When's the next gas station?"

"I dunno, maybe the next few miles?"

"Fuck."

Jake turned his head toward the window, taking a couple of deep breaths. Bradley had seen this once, many years ago, when they were still together. Jake had eaten something expired the night before and woken up to intense nausea and dizziness, not even making it downstairs before he'd been making a very quick exit to the bathroom. When he'd retreated to their living room couch he'd laid flat for all of thirty minutes, resorting to deep breaths, before he'd had to turn around so he didn't puke on the fabric. He wouldn't let Bradley into the bathroom with him; they weren't at that point in their relationship or their personal development.

"Do you... still like blue gatorade?"

"Guess so."

Rooster lifted his sunglasses from his eyes, glancing at the map on his phone.

"The gas station should have some motion sickness meds if you want those."

"Fuck off."

"I wasn't trying to-"

Rooster felt Hangman push his hand off his arm and got the hint, promptly shutting his mouth.

-

Rooster wasn't entirely sure how he got here.

Well. Hold on. I think we all know how he got here, specifically. But here? That one's still a little unclear.

Standing outside the gas station bathroom, no phone reception and a bottle of lukewarm water in hand, he waved awkwardly at the worker who had been eyeing him since Jake had barrelled through the door.

"He gets carsick; it's fine."

"Maybe you could give him some space?"

"Don't you fuckin' move."

Rooster jerked his thumb in the direction of Hangman's voice from inside, shrugging.

"I'm under strict instructions."

The worker slowly backed away, just in time for the bathroom door to open.

"How's your stomach?" Bradley asked when Jake appeared. He waved him off, grimacing as he tried to carefully sip the water handed over.

"Oh, also, try these."

Rooster shook the box of travel-calm then held up a bottle of Gatorade.

"Apparently anything pale or clear is best for dehydration so I grabbed the lemon-lime one. I know it's not your favourite-"

"-it tastes like piss-"

"-but it should help with your electrolytes."

"Fuck you."

Jake accepted the bottle despite his complaints, leaving gingerly while Rooster followed shortly behind.

"How long do we have?"

"Eleven hours and fifteen minutes. Down the meds and brace yourself, we're in for the long haul."

"Should've flown," Hangman muttered to himself, unimpressed. Rooster snorted, following him out the gas station door and into the parking lot.

"You really should, I could've been halfway there by now."

They climbed back into the Bronco and Hangman cranked the air conditioning, turning slightly on to his side to face the driver.

"So... eleven hours and twelve minutes?"

"Seems so."

Hangman groaned, trying to stretch out but he paused halfway to put a hand to his abdomen. Rooster grimaced.

"Alright, let's get back on the road. Take the drugs and have a nap or something."

-

Landing in Salt Lake City, the plane had barely touched the ground before Maverick was taking his phone out of flight mode and calling Rooster, gesturing behind himself to get someone to grab his bag from the overhead. Bob got the memo and Payback was already moving to help some of the older people around them to get their bags without being crushed by the crowd.

"Mav, hey."

The call echoed in the background, telling Maverick that Rooster was driving. He frowned.

"Should you be touching your phone?"

"I have a bluetooth set up."

"Whatever that means. How's Hangman?"

"Still here, pops."

"How's your stomach?"

"Not good, Mav."

"We managed to get out of San Diego but now we have to brave the Interstate and I don't think you can pull over all that often once you're on it," Rooster added. Maverick internally counted on his fingers, a grimace crossing his features.

"Maybe it'd be better turning around and getting a flight. It's only a couple hours."

"Hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mav, it's been proven," Rooster agreed. As Maverick walked through the airport he did a head count of the other Daggers in his vicinity, then heard Rooster curse again.

"Fuck, we gotta go. I'll call you later."

Once they were gone Maverick turned to the others, all watching him in utter confusion. He hadn't told them what was going on, why he was being more secretive than usual and why he'd randomly called Rooster on his way off the flight.

"Hangman's sick," he started. Everyone frowned.

"What do you mean? He was fine when we left."

Fanboy didn't seem particularly convinced, Payback nodding. Coyote facepalmed.

"Damn, I forgot. If he's not driving, he gets carsick."

"You knew?" Maverick asked. Phoenix scoffed.

"I don't think there's anything he doesn't know about Bagman. What did Rooster say?"

"Not much. He's trying to make a plan but I reminded him they had time to go back and get a flight. They're cutting around Las Vegas but Bradley could leave the Bronco there and they could get on a plane. It's only an hour and a half flight."

"He'd never leave his Bronco like that," Bob commented. Everyone agreed. Maverick shrugged.

"As much as he'd never say it, I think he cares about Hangman a little more than the Bronco right now."

"This is Rooster we're talking about, right?" Phoenix grinned, earning laughter. Maverick slung his duffle bag over his shoulder, gesturing to the airport exit.

"Alright, that's enough picking on Bradley... for now. Let's go."

-

Pulling up just on the other side of the California border, Rooster turned to check on Hangman who had managed to pass out about half an hour ago. He'd been quiet but Rooster had a feeling that wasn't going to last. As he did a lap of the gas station then stocked up on cold water and found some snacks, his eyes stayed on the Bronco the entire time just in case. His phone buzzed as he made his way back over to the truck, carefully opening the door only to get that piercing green-eyed glare Jake had perfected whilst they were together.

"How's the strong Texan man going?" Rooster asked, reaching into the backseat for his hat, somewhere amongst the other shit. He felt a hand gently smack the back of his head and glanced over his shoulder.

"Glad to see you're feeling better."

"You know what would make me feel better? Something with sustenance."

"Dude, I'm not feeding you."

"Fuck you."

"Maybe later."

A stare off. A battle of the wills, if you will. Pun intended.

"I just need saltines, Bradley. Please."

"Thought you'd say that."

Rooster reached into the backseat, producing a box of the crackers-

And a blue gatorade.

"I figured after I made you down the gross one you'd probably like something else," he said. Hangman cleared his throat.

"Sure. Uh, listen, I-"

"-yeah."

Hangman blinked.

"What I could really use is a flat surface and a pillow."

Rooster glanced into his backseat. Hangman could almost see him connecting the dots.

"I'm not gonna fit in there."

"That's what he- no, I can't say that."

He had managed to toss everything important from the backseat to Hangman's feet, and then uncovered a blanket he usually kept in there for when the Daggers went to the beach and he'd drive one of them home- Fanboy always got cold and Phoenix never dried off before sliding into the passenger seat. After over twelve months together the Daggers' initial politness toward one another had faded away. Rooster wouldn't have had it any other way.

"Alright, now come lie down. I promise not to crash and kill you."

"Morbid, Bradshaw."

Hangman did as asked, clambering into the backseat. Sure enough his legs didn't fit in there by far but he wasn't particularly bothered by it considering lying flat was the only thing at this point that would get him through the next few hours.

"Isn't this breaking the law?"

"It's only breaking the law when you get caught, dumbass."

"I feel like there's a story there."

Hangman got comfortable, sighing.

"Now what?"

"Now you nap and I drive until it's too dark."

"Hm. It's only midday, Rooster, are you sure you wanna drive that long?"

"We still have another six hour drive tomorrow at least."

"Ugh. Maybe this will work."

-

Pulling up for the night and stifling a yawn, Rooster stretched his arms to try and fix his cramped muscles.

"Hey, Hangman, you've been pretty quiet back there."

When he didn't get a response he turned his head, an eyebrow raising.

"Bagman?"

Still nothing, but getting a better look he could see Hangman had put his hat over his face to block some of the road noises and was sound asleep. Rooster snorted, reaching for the keys and heading to the motel reception.

"Hey, room for two?"

"Sure thing. Have you got any ID?"

The room was organised in minutes and Rooster walked back to the Bronco with the room key in hand. By then Hangman was out the door but in a pleasant surprise he wasn't violently unwell this time. Instead he was gathering his bag, collecting his valuables from the front seat where Rooster had tossed them. He stood at the front, an eyebrow raised.

"Are we going to bed or are you just gonna stand there?"

"You're not nauseous," Rooster blurted. Hangman shrugged.

"I passed out pretty much the second we got back on the highway. Can't get motion sickness if you're not awake."

Rooster hummed.

"Guess so...? Let's go."

-

Rooster opened the hotel room door and sighed.

"I think I'm too tired to be mad about it."

"Mad about what- you didn't ask for separate beds?"

"The author likes the there's only one bed trope," Rooster huffed. Hangman shrugged.

"It's one night; we're in Salt Lake City tomorrow."

"Just don't grope me in my sleep, barf breath."

"Don't even get started, the last time we shared a bed I swear the walls were shaking with your snoring."

Silence. A stare.

"Fine, take the floor then."

"Fuck you, Hangman."

"Rooster. Stop flirting."

That got Rooster a glare and he turned to reach for his sleep shorts in his duffle bag. Hangman stepped into the bathroom to get ready. When they met back up by the bed, neither of them said anything as they got into the dodgy motel bed together. Lying in the darkness, Rooster switched on to his back while Hangman curled on to his side.

"We're taking this to the grave, right?" Rooster whispered. Hangman scoffed.

"Just like the rest of our relationship, Bradshaw."

"Go to sleep; I'm getting up at six, if you're not in the truck by six fifteen I'm leaving you behind."

"You're so kind."

-

Now that they'd figured out Hangman was okay if he was lying down, the drive went a lot smoother. Hangman had put his airpods in once he was in the back of the Bronco and tried to just relax. He was driving the last three hours of their six hour trek planned, Rooster too much of a control freak to let him do first shift but just willing enough to let Hangman help him out right at the end of their journey. Rooster was prepared, coffee cup refilled and his water in the second cupholder as he pulled out of the motel car park. The glance over his shoulder confirmed Hangman was okay so he turned up the radio just in case he got chatty. Considering Rooster woke up to being spooned (and he wasn't complaining, deep down), he wasn't feeling particularly chatty.

-

Phoenix: how's it going?

Rooster: Hangman's driving the last stretch

Phoenix: wtf??

Phoenix: are YOU feeling okay?

Rooster: I resent that

Rooster: and I'm fine

Rooster: apparently because he's focused on not killing us his brain doesn't make him carsick?

Phoenix: that tracks

Phoenix: god you two deserve each other

Phoenix: you're both control freaks

Rooster: two negatives doesn't make a positive

Phoenix: I didn't say the relationship was healthy dude

Rooster: jeez who pissed in your cereal?

Phoenix: no one

Phoenix: just calling it like I see it

Rooster: ow

Rooster: I think I preferred the approach on the tarmac

Phoenix: love u

Rooster: not that one

Phoenix: pull your head out of your ass

Rooster: that's more like it

-

"Hey, is that Bradshaw and Bagman?"

Phoenix glanced out the window of the Airbnb the Daggers had pooled together to rent out, getting Maverick's attention from the kitchen and the others' from the living area.

"I didn't think they were coming for another hour," Fanboy frowned, checking his watch. His eyebrows raised.

"Okay, maybe this is that hour."

"Man am I glad to see you!" Maverick called as he walked out the front door, giving Rooster a hug once he was up the steps of the house. He gave Hangman a hug too, patting his shoulder.

"How are you feeling? Are you still sick?"

"Honestly, pops, I feel like it never happened- is that lunch? I'm starving."

Hangman greeted everyone as he went inside, already looking for whatever Maverick had been making as they'd pulled up. Maverick looked his godson up and down, an eyebrow raised.

"What's up with you?"

"Nothin- what's up with you?"

"Nice try, Bradley."

Rooster slowly exhaled.

"Later, Mav."

Stepping into the house he was greeted by Payback and Bob, shaking their hands. Phoenix and Coyote were eating lunch, watching from afar.

"Bradshaw, you look worse than Hangman does," Coyote commented. Rooster waved him off.

"I think he slept the entire three hours I drove, we're cool. What is that anyway? Pizza- Mav, is that pizza?"

"Here, kid."

Maverick passed him a plate, giving Rooster's arm a squeeze. Phoenix, done with her lunch, cleared her throat.

"So was I supposed to find out Hangman gets carsick on my own or is this a well known fact?"

Hangman and Rooster exchanged looks; Hangman shook his head. Rooster nodded; they were in silent agreement.

"Truly, Phoenix, I thought you'd know all about our bad habits after that one night of truth or dare," Rooster commented, effectively distracting everyone. The banter broke out and Rooster nudged Hangman's shoulder on the way past.

"To the grave, man."

"Whatever, Bradshaw."

-

[techypen]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ jake x y/n stomachache ࿐ྂ

You and Jake had spent the whole day together, it's currently 8pm and your both watching a show on Netflix whilst cuddling.

you'd left subtle comments all day stating to Jake that your stomach was hurting so he knew that you wasn't feeling 100%. That's why you both settled on watching Netflix instead of staying out.

Jake started to talk to you about the new choreography that he was currently learning, and although you were trying to listen most of your attention was drawn to the fact that you're stomach kept churning.

Jake noticed that you where out of it so he pulled you closer to him and started rubbing circles on your back.

"Everything okay Baby?"

You didn't respond but just looked up at him and gave a nod.

That didn't last long though as soon as he turned to look back at the TV you felt an excruciating pain in your stomach which made you fold into your knees and let out a groan.

"Y/n what's going on?!?"

"Hey look at me"

"H-hurts j-jake"  was the only sentence you could muster considering how bad the pain was.

"Come here, I can't stand seeing you like this" Jake said whilst pulling you into his chest and lifting up your shirt so he could place his hand on your stomach to try and soothe the pain.

You where both in the same position for a good 10 minutes until your stomach had another sharp pain so you winced out again grabbing Jakes attention.

"Hey I'm gonna go grab pain killers, okay?"

again you didn't feel like replying so you just gave him another nod.

"Here ya go baby"

He came back and handed you a glass of water and pain killers,

You slowly sat up taking the glass and medicine out of his hands.

Moving the glass up to your mouth you quickly drank the medicine. And when you where done you pushed your head back into Jakes chest

"Try to sleep baby, hopefully you'll feel better when you wake up"

You didn't argue with Jakes statement and let the darkness consume you,  you was out for a good 5 hours.

[angstyaches]

Autumn's First Sickfic Part Two

Alrighty, this is a little all-over-the-place, but it's done! It was so fun to write Payton as caretaker for a change.

Read Part One Here

CW: emeto, fever, confusion, sickness, insecurity, familial issues, jealousy, awkwardness, undressing (maybe vaguely n**w?), stomach noises, belly rubs, brief indirect mention of Lucy's emetophobia.

Word Count: 5,000+

___

Payton slipped their phone halfway from the pocket of their apron, pursing their lips when they saw it was a call from Autumn. It wrung their heart slightly to let it ring out, but they had to let their phone drop away again so that they could serve the two customers waiting in line. 

When their phone began buzzing a second time, though, they started to feel an itch of worry in their gut. 

“Paul,” they said, snagging the attention of their coworker who had previously been wiping down tables. “Could you be on the till for a few minutes?” 

“Absolutely, boss.” 

Payton threw Jake – who was on drinks – an apologetic smile. “Bathroom break,” they said quietly, waiting to get the nod from him, before ducking out the back of the shop and into the staff changing room.  

“Hello, baby, are you okay?” they said softly as they answered, in case Autumn was still half-asleep and calling them. 

“Payton, hey. This is Leigh. Autumn’s friend.” 

Payton’s stomach dropped. What? 

“So, Autumn’s really sick, and she keeps asking for you. Is there any way you could come by the student centre and pick her up?” 

“What do you mean? Autumn stayed home today,” Payton said, even though it was evident by the fact that her college friend was calling from her phone that she very much hadn’t stayed home today. 

Leigh hummed. “Nope. She’s in the bathroom next to the student theatre. Throwing up, crying –” 

“Crying?” Payton found that they were clutching the front of their apron, nails sinking into the fabric. 

“Yeah.” Leigh sounded as surprised as Payton felt. Anyone who knew Autumn knew that she rarely cried. “I think she’s got a fever or something. So, can you come and get her?” 

“I-I’m at work,” Payton breathed, feeling on the verge of tears themself. “Can you… Could you call her mother? Maybe she can –” 

“I, uh –” It sounded as though Leigh had puffed out her cheeks and exhaled roughly. “I’ve suggested that, and it made her even more upset, and that’s why I’m calling you. Can you get here?” 

Payton stepped frantically to the other side of the dressing room, turned around, made their way back to where they’d started. Their lungs felt shrivelled and achy in their chest. 

Couldn’t leave work without letting the shop down. 

Couldn’t help Autumn without leaving work. 

Couldn’t leave work without – 

“Everything okay?” 

Payton swung around, almost dropping their phone in when they realised Jake was standing behind them.  

Their knees felt like jelly at being caught on the phone by a workplace superior – it barely even occurred to them then that they were practically on the same tier as Jake nowadays, in everything but job title and wage, and that they really shouldn’t have felt quite so much like a child sneaking sweets before dinner. 

“S-sorry. Sorry, Jake, um… Autumn’s pretty sick at college, sh-she’s feverish and throwing up and she’s asking for me…” 

“Go, then.” 

“What?” they breathed. 

Jake shrugged. “I’ll stay and close. You can close for me on Friday instead.” 

Go, you idiot, Payton tried to tell themself, take the opportunity, accept the kindness. But their brain seemed intent on fighting them at every possible turn.  

“Annie would kill me,” they choked out. 

“For delegating a task that you were no longer able to fill yourself?” Jake gave another shrug. “Sounds like good management to me.” 

“But… you booked this evening off.” 

Jake’s shoulders went up towards his ears again, this time pulling a little tighter to his neck. “To sit at home by myself and watch the season premier of a TV show. It’ll still be there for me to watch, whether I make it home by seven or by midnight.” 

“But –” 

“Payton,” Jake half-laughed. “Stop arguing, and go get your girl.” 

Payton nodded, then realised with a start that they had lowered their phone all the way to their waist. They pressed it to their ear whilst also pulling open their locker to liberate their hoodie. “Leigh? Are you still there?” 

“I am.” 

Payton started tugging their apron off over their head. “I’ll be there in twenty-six minutes.” 

“That’s weirdly specific,” Leigh said, “but okay.” 

___ 

Autumn wasn’t sure how long she spent by the toilet before she was guided away. She didn’t even remember who had brought her here, to the plush, lime green sofas that were dotted around the common area of the student centre, whether it was Dixon or Leigh or both. When she rose from the feverish haze in order to wrinkle up her nose at the stench of bad coffee from the open-plan café and the sporadic noise of groups of students going about their day, she realised that she had her head on Dixon’s shoulder.  

Her first thought was that she’d better not have drooled on his t-shirt; he’d had enough of her bodily fluids ruining his belongings for one day. The thought alone made her breath hitch, and she pulled away from him, covering her face with her hands to disguise a sob or a retch or both. 

“Oh – you okay?” 

There was the sound of a plastic bag being unfolded, and Autumn opened her eyes to see said plastic bag being held out under her face. 

“I-I’m okay for now,” she stammered, but she reached out and took the plastic bag from Leigh’s hands anyway. She gingerly tucked it right-side-up between her knees for quick access.  

“How long have you had that bag ready?” Dixon asked. 

Leigh laughed. “Since before we left the bathroom.” 

“You’re brilliant. I mean, that was a... brilliant idea.” 

A brief flash of self-consciousness made Autumn very aware of the fact that Dixon and Leigh were sitting at either side of her, and being stuck between the pair of them felt profoundly uncomfortable. She rubbed at her forehead, still in complete disbelief that she was this sick, this publicly. She considered these people to be her friends, sure, but they didn’t need to see her like this. They certainly didn’t need her eating into their time. 

“Oh, look,” Dixon whispered, nudging her gently. “Look who it is.” 

Autumn gave a dazed groan as she lifted her head. 

“Huh,” Leigh said. “Twenty-six minutes.” 

For a second, surprise chased out the headiness of Autumn’s fever. She almost tried to stand up to give Payton a hug in greeting. Instead, she floundered weakly in her seat, jaw falling slack, scalding eyes following their steps until they arrived right in front of her. They were in a black polo shirt and cargo pants, their hair still clipped back from their face like it always was during their shifts. A light sheen of sweat made their forehead glitter in the gaudy, excessive lighting, but Autumn reckoned they still looked a damn sight more attractive than she did. 

“Hey, baby,” they smiled, crouching down in front of her. “You’re supposed to be at home, in bed.” 

She almost literally dropped her jaw. Her mind felt like a swamp, where her thoughts couldn’t get through fast enough. “You’re... at work.” 

“Well, no, I’m not, I’m here. I was able to get Jake to cover for me.” Payton’s big, shiny eyes blinked and their creased brows pulled even closer together, as if something unsettling were unfolding before them. They grabbed hold of her leg. “What, baby, what is it?” 

Autumn lifted a wrist to her cheek, and it came away wet. Jeez, when had she started crying again? She could feel her face crumple, her lips pulling back in a grimace. “I – you’re just – you’re too good, P. Too good to me...” 

“Here, man, sit,” Dixon said softly, getting up from where he’d been sitting and gesturing for Payton to replace him. “I’m Dixon, by the way.” 

“Leigh,” Leigh added. 

Autumn sank into Payton’s torso as they sat, desperate for their warm, familiar smell. The buttons running down their chest weren’t the comfiest to snuggle into, but it was still them that she was embracing. It just seemed like a miracle that they were here at all. 

“Thank you,” they were saying to Autumn’s classmates, “for keeping an eye on her, and for calling me.” 

“Yeah, no problem. Autumn is... an absolute angel,” Leigh was saying. “Least we can do.” 

“You take care of her, alright?” Dixon’s voice was a little unsure of itself, but it sounded vaguely protective. Autumn had a feeling Leigh would tease him about it later. 

“I’ve got this.” Payton’s voice vibrated in their chest against Autumn’s cheek. “Thank – thank you.” 

Autumn opened her eyes as the couch squeaked, the cushions shifting with the absence of Leigh’s weight. Both she and Dixon eyed her warily as they started walking away, and Autumn offered a weak, grateful smile.  

As soon as they both disappeared around the corner, heading towards the library, Autumn felt Payton slide a hand up under her bangs. An anxious sound hummed in their chest. 

“You’re burning up, baby." 

“Sorry,” Autumn rasped. “I’m s-sorry.” 

“Sorry?” Payton leaned forward a little, touching their forehead to the top of her head the best they could. They massaged their fingers into the nape of her neck. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about, baby. Nothing at all. Let’s just get you home, okay?” 

“Home?”  

Payton let out a nervous laugh. “Well, yeah. What did you think was going to happen?” 

“I-I was going to go to the library once I caught my breath,” Autumn said, easing herself up from Payton’s chest. Colour and sound washed in and out of her senses, but above it all was an overarching sense of dread. “And... and I have work from seven until midnight.” 

Payton licked their lips. They looked so... lost. “Baby,” they pleaded, “you’re so sick. You can’t get on a bike like this. Look at you, you’re burning up and you’re trembling...” They curled their lower lip in sympathy, giving her arms a useless rub. “Just like a little leaf.” 

Autumn let out an involuntary whimper. 

“You poor thing.” Payton sounded close to tears. “I really wish you’d stayed home and taken it easy today.” 

“Couldn’t,” Autumn whispered, overwhelmed by the frustration bubbling in her unwell stomach. She gave the plastic bag in her hand a squeeze, reassuring herself that she still had a grip on it between her knees. 

“Hmm?” 

“Couldn’t stay home.” 

Payton placed their hands on the outsides of her arms again, head tilted to one side. “Why not, baby?” 

“Why do you think?”  

___ 

Payton pulled their hands back, almost recoiling right off the sofa. Coming from the girl who said sarcasm was the lowest form of wit, and believed spite gave you wrinkles, a rhetorical question spat with just a hint of venom was as bad – as shocking – as hearing her insult Payton’s entire family. 

And the worst part was that it sounded like she expected them to know the reason, and they hadn’t the faintest idea what that could be. Was this their failure? Their heart was sinking as though it was.  

They opened their mouth, tried for a what do you mean? but nothing came out.  

But then Autumn opened her mouth, and something came out. 

Before the spike of panic could prompt Payton to do anything useful, she had produced a plastic shopping bag from... somewhere. She yanked open the top of the bag and leaned so far over it that her nose and cheekbones were lost. And then she retched so hard that the sound of it was enough to give Payton goosebumps. 

“Oh, baby,” they sighed, shifting closer to her again. They felt bad for jumping back, especially when she needed them. 

Students making their way through the bright, airy building cast tentative looks in their direction, picking up their pace when they noticed Payton noticing them. They wished they could morph into a giant blanket to keep their girlfriend concealed from those prying, judging glances – 

“Sorry – sorry,” Autumn gushed frantically. She pulled one arm to her stomach, scrunching the top of the bag together with the other. A deep, dry sob clawed its way out of her. “I’m so sorry, Payton. My mother, I... I don’t want her to...” 

“What, baby?” Goosebumps prickled at Payton’s skin all over again.  

“I want to stay with you,” Autumn whispered shakily. “And I don’t... don’t want her to meet you like this. Please. Please.” 

Payton nodded, though they were far from sure about this. Autumn needed to rest and be taken care of. If they could just get her to a taxi, maybe they would get her to see that going home to her bed was the best idea. 

They eyed the bag in her fist; it didn’t seem as though she’d heaved much up into it, but if she’d been throwing up since before Leigh’s call, it wasn’t surprising that she was empty by now.  

“How’s your belly feeling now?” Payton asked, tilting their head so they could see her face. 

Autumn’s bottom lip seemed to tremble for a second before she caught hold of it with her teeth. Her hazel green eyes stared at nothing, eyelids half closed, jaw clenched tightly. She gave a vague nod. “Little better.” 

“Then let’s get out of here,” Payton said. 

___ 

She held their hand and followed them through the atrium, taking short, even steps. A couple of times, Payton considered wrapping an arm around her shoulders and keeping her close, but since this was Autumn’s territory, they didn’t want to overstep what she considered to be too much PDA. They stopped off at a bin to get rid of the sick bag, but thought better of throwing it away just yet, so instead, they clenched their free hand around the top of it and carried it by their hip. 

Payton waved to the first taxi they saw by the bus stop, and the driver lifted a hand in acknowledgement. When Payton opened the back seat door, though, and Autumn swayed on her feet as they go of each other, his gaze turned sour. 

“Hey!” 

Payton jumped, peering in at the taxi driver. 

The driver pointed a thumb at Autumn over his shoulder. His eyes were dark and accusing as they glared at Payton. “Is she drunk?” 

What? Payton straightened their back, prickling with defensiveness on Autumn’s behalf. They resisted the urge to state that it was three thirty in the afternoon, remembering that this was a college campus and that anything was possible there.  

Their muscles relaxed a little and they sank into an easy smile. “No, she’s not drunk. She’s just a little sick.” 

The driver looked far from impressed. “Is she going to spew everywhere?” 

“Nope! We’ve got a bag, and I promise I’ll keep an eye on her.” Payton could hear how weakly they were pitching this. They felt like shriveling up under that condescending gaze, but Autumn needed them. “P… Please help me get her home to her bed.” 

“No,” Autumn wept quietly from the opposite side of the back seat. She turned her glossy eyes and tear-stained cheeks towards them. 

“Alright, get in,” the driver sighed, turning around to face the steering wheel. 

Payton’s earlier resolve turned to putty under the look Autumn was giving them; she didn’t need puppy-dog eyes, for she had a face so full of trust and sincerity that they didn’t dare risk letting her down or diminishing themself in her eyes. 

They tried to twist their smile into something even more reassuring as they pulled the door closed behind themself. They reached across the seat for her hand and squeezed it.  

Then they gave the taxi driver the address for Lucy’s flat. 

___ 

“Thanks so much.” Payton hurriedly paid the taxi driver and hopped out without waiting for their change.  

They sprinted around to the other side of the car, where Autumn had alighted and promptly doubled over at the edge of the road, retching horrendously. Payton grabbed her by the shoulder and slid a hand up and down her back, and glanced up at their building, wondering if this had been a good idea after all. 

“Come on, baby, away from the traffic,” they said shakily, despite there being no other cars on the road currently. They held her elbows as they both stepped up onto the path and then onto the patch of grass in front of the building. Autumn let go of a long string of electric yellow sick. She had to spit loudly to get it to drop from her lips and onto the grass. 

Payton gave her a reassuring rub on the back. They had a horrible feeling she’d held that in the whole way from campus to here, afraid to upset the driver or risk making a mess. “Well done, baby, you made it.” 

“I don’t feel good,” she complained, pressing a hand to her chest as she straightened back up. She began to pick at the fabric of her dress as though it were suffocating her. “Really... really don’t feel good.” 

“I know. I’m gonna try to help you feel better,” Payton promised, offering her their hands. They felt a little unsteady themself, carrying their own shoulder bag and Autumn’s college backpack, but they didn’t see much other choice than to be the steady one. “Think we can tackle these stairs together?” 

Autumn’s eyes flicked upwards, and she loudly hiccupped, but she gave a weary nod and let Payton lead her along. 

___ 

Payton would have thought that the last thing they wanted to see as they opened the door would have been Donnacha in the front hallway. They hadn’t considered the possibility of Donnacha in the front hallway carrying a bowl of something greasy and pungent from the kitchen to his bedroom. 

He froze and took a double-glance as Payton hoisted Autumn through the door. She’d gotten dizzy on the stairs and had leaned more and more into them as they’d neared the top, and she was practically clinging to them like a monkey. 

“A?” Donnacha exclaimed. 

Either the sight or the smell of Donnacha’s dinner offended her, because she shrank even closer to Payton’s body, pressing her nose against the front of their shirt, and groaned miserably. 

“She’s sick,” Payton offered. 

Donnacha frowned in her direction. “Autumn? You okay?” 

She shook her head, though she didn’t meet Donnacha’s gaze. Out of all three of them, she was the one who usually played the mediator, but even her will to keep things friendly was dwindling in the face of this fever and nausea. 

It made Payton’s chest pang. 

“Why isn’t she at home?” Donnacha asked when Autumn ignored him. He noticed Payton’s gaze fall upon his bowl and took a couple of steps back, holding it to the side. 

Payton couldn’t help but realise that this was probably the first time Donnacha had asked them a direct question in months. Their heart thudded with anxiety. 

“I… I haven’t met her mother yet.” Payton shuffled their feet. It felt like a silly excuse, now that they were saying it out loud. How selfish it made them seem. After all, they were being selfish. “We thought it’d be awkward to make this the first time.” 

“Right,” Donnacha nodded. His expression had changed suddenly. Softened a bit, hardened again in a different way.  

“So, um... thought I'd take care of her here tonight,” Payton added. 

Donnacha nodded again. “Did she call Helen?” 

Payton gulped. They had actually never heard Autumn’s mother’s name spoken aloud before, and it felt weird to hear Donnacha mention it quite so casually. “I don’t think so. I-I guess I’ll call her –” 

“I’ll handle it,” Donnacha said. “If – if you want.” 

A tiny part of Payton burned with jealousy and indignation, but now was not the time to think about growing a backbone. “Really? That’d be great.” 

“Okay. Well.” Donnacha rubbed at the buzzed back of his head, glancing down the hallway as though planning his escape from the conversation. “She needs anything else, you know where I am.” 

“What’s happening?” came a new voice. 

Donnacha turned to the side. Henry had appeared at his bedroom door, pyjamas hanging on his gaunt frame, his hair disheveled. It was almost five in the evening, but he looked like he’d just been rudely awakened. 

“Autumn’s sick,” Donnacha said curtly, turning to walk towards his own room with his bowl, “so Payton’s having her stay the night to take care of her.” 

Henry grimaced, sucking air through his teeth. “Vomiting?” 

Payton swallowed. “Yes.” 

“Hmm. Lucy’s going to kill you.” Henry scratched his chest and yawned. “Well, goodnight.” 

A grimace pulled at Payton’s cheeks. “’Night, Hen.” 

Payton dropped Autumn off in their room and hurried to the kitchen to fill up a glass with water. When they returned, she was half-sprawled, half-curled up on their bed in a manner that she herself might have described as unladylike. They quickly shut their door again and placed the water on their bedside locker. 

“S-sorry, my sheets aren’t the freshest.” Payton scratched their head and glanced around, at a loss for what else to do – they couldn’t exactly pull the sheets from the bed now, since Autumn was already making herself at home on top of them. And it probably wouldn’t be helpful for Autumn’s nausea if they spritzed some fabric freshener about the place. “I didn’t know to expect company. Do you want a little sip of water –?” 

“Tight.” 

“What, baby?” 

“Tight,” she murmured, face twisting into a petulant scowl that seemed so far from her usual demeanor that Payton had to tilt their head slightly. Their eyes drifted down to her waist, where her fingers were plucking at the fabric of her dress... no, trying to pluck at something inside of it. 

“Are you saying tight, or tights?” Payton asked, eyeing the glossy beige sheen on her legs. They felt their face turn a little warm, and hoped she wouldn’t think they were just ogling her if she noticed their gaze. 

“Yeah.” 

“Oh. Your tights are too tight?” 

Autumn’s shoulders slumped forwards and she pressed her forehead the bed. 

“Baby, it’s okay!” Payton sat down at the edge of the mattress. “Want me to help you out of them?” 

She nodded without looking up. 

“You want to stand up so I can...?” Payton’s heart almost took a running jump up their throat and through their mouth when, instead of standing, Autumn rolled back across their bed, knees lifted, dress slipping back up towards her waist.  

She started fidgeting with the waistband of her tights again, groaning feebly when they still refused to relinquish their hold on her. Payton crawled over to her and gently eased their fingers under the elastic, coaxing it up from the soft curve of her belly and down towards her hips. 

“Can... can you lift –?” 

Before they even finished asking, Autumn tugged her hips upwards from the bed, leaving space for Payton to slide the offending tights down to her thighs. From there, it was easier to remove them, since the fabric was able to roll and bunch together into soft wads. Her soft skin was red and indented where the elastic had pressed into it all day, and Payton grimaced with sympathy. 

They remembered all too well what wearing tights was like; although Autumn wore them for the aesthetic and occasionally for warmth, while Payton only used to wear them under their school uniform skirt to cover up the fact that they didn’t shave their legs.  

As they pulled the nylon from her feet, Payton noticed Autumn sliding one hand across her bare stomach and working it in a circular motion, either oblivious to or uncaring about the fact that her underwear was on show. In the quiet of the room, her stomach could be heard clearly, churning and gurgling and squelching. 

Payton’s ears were on fire as they slid forward on the bed again, guiding her hand out of the way and placing theirs on her bloated middle. They’d rubbed her belly before, to help with period cramps – she'd done the same for them – but never with her dress pulled up like this. 

Even though they’d spent countless hours in bed together, cuddling and kissing and giggling, very little of that time had involved states of undress. Payton often wondered if this was purely for their sake, since they were comfiest in their boxers and with their chest covered, but they were always a little too nervous to ask if Autumn was looking for... more. 

Right now, Autumn groaned at their touch against her skin. She nuzzled into their neck with her nose, and they were hit by a gentle wave of her floral perfume. “Baby, my belly hurts,” she complained, as though they weren’t already tending to it. 

“I know.” They pressed a kiss to her clammy forehead. “My poor baby.” 

“Mmm. I’m not a poor baby, am I?” Autumn mumbled softly.  

“Yes, you are, you’re my poor little baby.” Payton grinned as Autumn squinted up at them in confusion. “Accept it.” 

“No.” 

“Ssshhh.” Payton surprised themself with their assertiveness. 

“Okay.” Autumn snuggled down again, her toasty forehead burrowing into Payton’s chest. She let out a long, slow breath as they cradled her gurgling stomach and stroked her hair back from her face, but the peace only lasted a couple of minutes before she was sitting upright again, patting her sides as though she was looking for something. 

“A?” Payton whispered. 

“My mother, I have to call my mother.” Her voice was pinched with panic, the colour draining scarily fast from her face. “Where’s my phone?” 

“Your phone is in your backpack, baby,” Payton said, “but Donnacha is calling your mother, remember? He said he would call her and let her know you’re staying here.” 

Autumn began nodding then, her eyes wide and seeming to plead for reassurance. “Donnacha. Okay. She loves Donnacha. Okay. It’ll be okay...” 

Payton gave her an uneasy smile, feeling a little concerned about how jumpy she was, and not entirely excited to hear about how much her mother loved her ex. They opened their arms, coaxing her back into a reclined position. Her dress had drifted down over her waist again, covering up her striped, navy boy shorts and the red marks left behind by her tights. Payton felt awkward about lifting it up again. 

“Do – do you want to change into one of my t-shirts?” Payton asked, their face flushing all over again at the thought of her removing her dress and her bra in their bedroom. They hated how big of a deal this all seemed, and wished they could have been playing it cooler. 

“Mmm.” Autumn hummed, turning half of her face into Payton’s pillow and eyeing them shyly with the other half. “Yes, please.” 

Payton almost imploded over how cute she was. They slid from the bed and opened a drawer, pushing aside a few binders and stiffer t-shirts until they found something soft and oversized. Autumn had pushed herself into a sitting position again when they turned around, and she was taking a long drink from the glass of water. 

“Oh – careful, baby,” Payton said softly. “Can your belly handle that much water right now?” 

She gulped loudly as she lowered the glass, tongue working at the insides of her lips. “Thirsty.” 

“Yeah?” Payton handed over the t-shirt, eyeing her hopefully. “Do you feel like trying to eat something too, or –?” 

Autumn screwed up her face and rubbed at her belly. 

“Okay, maybe not,” Payton half-smiled.  

“I will puke on your floor if you try to feed me, Payton Harte,” she murmured, a flicker of her usual warmth pushing through the glazed look in her eyes.  

“Well, don’t do that.” Payton dragged their bin out from underneath their desk and positioned it next to their bed. “Puke into this instead.” 

“No, I don’t think I will.” 

“Pretty please,” Payton smiled, relieved when Autumn smiled weakly back at them. 

And then she began to pull her dress up over her head. 

Instead of standing around feeling weird about it, Payton made the snap decision to change, too. They unbuttoned the top of their polo shirt and lifted it over their head. They turned their back to Autumn as they freed themself from their binder, not feeling altogether ready to let her see their chest, even though they were sure her fever-addled mind wouldn’t remember seeing it. They slipped into a t-shirt, too, and stripped down to their boxers. 

When they turned around again, Autumn was curled up with their t-shirt on, her head positioned near the edge of the mattress, one hand touching the rim of the bin on the floor. 

“Queasy again?” they asked softly, approaching the bed. 

Autumn squeezed her eyes shut. “You were right. The water’s swishing in my belly.” 

Payton half-smiled, wishing they weren’t right. 

“P?” 

“Yeah, baby?” 

“I threw up on the stage.” It sounded like this was brand new information to her even as she said it. That tremble came back to her lower lip, but she didn’t attempt to bite it this time.  

“I heard...” Payton clicked their tongue and tucked a strand of loose hair behind Autumn’s ear so it wouldn’t tickle her nose while she lay like this. “Try not to worry about it too much.” 

“I threw up on the stage...” Autumn tugged on the bin, “and it was the closest I’ve gotten to a spotlight all semester.” 

It was the closest she’d come to complaining about being put in the chorus, and Payton couldn’t help feeling a little stunned. They shook their head, not really sure what they could say to encourage her. 

“You’ll...” They broke off, realising that Autumn’s hand had fallen slack between the edge of the bed and the bin. Her lips were still parted, a little glisten of drool already cascading from the corner of her mouth to the pillow. There was a low rumble from her stomach, and Payton instictively placed a protective hand over it, which prompted no movement from her at all. They leaned over to kiss her forehead again, and whispered, “You’ll show them next time, baby.” 

[sneezyminniejo]

Enhypen Masterlist

Heeseung

T'was the Food snz

Group Cold snz

Rain Makes the Cold Go 'Round part 3 snz

Jay

Just a Spoonful of Sugar general

Language Fog Fever snz

Group Cold snz

Poor Life Choices snz

Rain Makes the Cold Go 'Round part 3 snz

Jake

Group Cold snz

Rain Makes the Cold Go 'Round part 3 snz

Oh Bother part 1 2 emeto

Sunghoon

Just a Spoonful of Sugar general

Group Cold snz

Skating Fatigue General

Rain Makes the Cold Go 'Round part 3 snz

Sunoo

Group Cold snz

Spring Cleaning, or Not snz

Rain Makes the Cold Go 'Round Part 1 snz

Jungwon

Overbearing Hyungs snz

Group Cold snz

Poor Life Choices snz

Spring Cleaning, or Not snz

Rain Makes the Cold Go 'Round part 2 snz

Riki

Group Cold snz

Locked In emeto

Spring Cleaning, or Not snz

Side Effects of a Fever general

Rain Makes the Cold Go 'Round part 2 snz

[snowbaamgyu]

Welcome to my blog

Y'all can call me Sam (She/Her)

I started writing and posting on AO3, but decided to also post here in tumblr.

Sorry if some sentences doesn't make sense English isn't my first language.

GROUPS I'LL WRITE FOR

TXT (mainly)

ENHYPEN

STRAY KIDS

when I'm in the mood I'll write for skz, I don't promise anything tho.

My bias from each group are: Beomgyu, Jake and Seungmin

WHAT I'LL WRITE ABOUT

-Emeto

-Fevers

-Anything related to a stomach feeling sick, (even scat, nothing too detailed)

I WON'T WRITE ABOUT

-sneeze

-death

-seizures

[quietly-by-myself]

Cursed - The Brother's Keeper AU

This is a Christmas gift for @darkthingshappen. Thank you for everything this year.

An AU where Ben’s family are the second-in-commands of an alchemist’s citadel and Volkov is a powerful mage set on overthrowing the citadel with the ability to curse people. 

CW: fantasy whump, curses, emeto, illness, past trauma, past noncon

===

Ben. Ben. Ben.

Something, or rather, someone was shaking him. Ben was hardly there. His head pounded like his heart, beating fast and afraid. 

Volkov. Where is Volkov?

Ben opened his eyes to the familiar face of his beloved - Zoe. She was shaking him awake. He was in a bed. He wasn’t in a cage. Jake was there, too, his alchemist’s robes wrapped around his body - hunter green that brought out the little specks of emerald in his eyes. Ben hadn’t seen him in those robes in, well, years. It had been years, even before his capture. Jake had said he never wanted to be an alchemist. Fell to a life of crime fueled by alchemy instead.

Zoe looked at Jake, then back to Ben, concern written across her face. She was shaking a bit.

“You were crying out in your sleep again,” she mumbled. Somehow, Ben thought it was something much worse than just crying out in his sleep again. 

The thought hung between them all. Volkov - Volkov, the damned mage - had cursed him. They all knew it. Jake had checked for a curse the first time he saw Ben after he was rescued from Volkov. Alchemy could do nothing against curses of fae magic. They were helpless against the lingering effects of Ben’s captivity - effects no mage would dare to help them with.

Well, maybe they would have if Ben’s family weren’t alchemists, in charge of an alchemist’s citadel. No mage worth their weight in salt would help someone from a powerful line of alchemists like Ben.

“Was it just crying out in my dreams, again?” Ben was a bit defensive, a bit angry with his family for keeping secrets from him. It was his body. It was his curse. Why keep that from him? Why lie? What did it change? Absolutely nothing. He would be cursed regardless of his family telling him the truth.

Zoe was hesitant, so Jake was the one to speak. “No, it wasn’t.” Jake took a deep breath. “Your curse… it’s progressing. You don’t remember, do you?”

Ben shook his head, his blood falling to his feet. What did they mean? What had happened? He felt nauseous.

“You had a fit,” Zoe started. “You had a very high fever. You were spilling your guts everywhere!” The fear, the panic in her eyes was unmistakable. “I thought we would lose you.”

Ben recalled having horrible nightmares. He was with Volkov again. Volkov was torturing him and Andrei. He was being raped again. Forced to service. He hated it, but he thought they were just shellshock. Just nightmares. Nothing more, nothing less. They felt very real, but they weren’t. Right?

Jake put a hand on Zoe’s shoulder. 

Zoe was the one to ask the question in Ben’s silence. “We think your curse is progressing. Did you have any visions or anything?”

Ben put his head in his hands. “I was back there.”

Jake clenched his fist. Ben could only imagine the thoughts running through his mind. Jake had joined forces with the enemies of the alchemists and it had all ended up with his little brother tortured and cursed. Now, he was trying to repair ties with an unforgiving society of secretive people and families. 

“Fuck, man,” was all that Jake could muster. “That damn bastard was right.”

Ben had a feeling that he knew who Jake was referring to. They weren’t leaders of the citadel, but they were the seconds. The leader was a different man entirely, the one who’d arranged for Ben to be rescued. The one who’d thought him valuable enough to start a blood battle between Volkov’s people and his.

The room went quiet, thick with anticipation.

“What was he right about, Jake? What was Vaughn right about?”

Jake growled a little at the name. 

“Your curse… it’s a curse of reliving.” Vaughn came from around the corner, putting a hand on Jake’s shoulder. “It’s a painful and dangerous curse that causes people to be thrown into fits of remembrance. The mind isn’t made to handle days of reliving traumatic memories forcefully, so it attacks itself. It could very well kill you, Ben.”

“I was out for days?”

Everyone in the room nodded. Ben swallowed. He fidgeted a bit with the blankets in his hands. 

“I’d like to be alone with Zoe for a bit.”

Again, Jake and Vaughn nodded. Once they’d left the room, Zoe ran and hugged him. Ben was quick to hug her back. 

His heart had fallen through the floor, yet he couldn’t find the strength to pick it back up.

—

Vaughn approached Ben the next day, alone.

“While you were out with your fit, a mage came to the citadel to turn himself in. His name is Andrei. Does that ring a bell?”

Ben’s eyes grew wide. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Andrei had gotten away. Andrei wasn’t under Volkov’s control anymore. Andrei was at the citadel, not being tortured by Volkov.

“Yes! Yes, it does. He helped me. Please don’t hurt him. He got in so much trouble with Volkov for helping me-”

Vaughn cut Ben off. “We can’t possibly let him run free, now. He is our enemy. He’s a threat to our way of life.”

“But Andrei helped me. He was tortured by Volkov, the bastard. Please, please, let me see him.”

Vaughn observed Ben like he was one of Vaughn’s test subjects. “What if he places another curse on you? What if he’s been blackmailed into hurting you more? He’s a mage, Ben. He’s dangerous.”

“Andrei-” Ben swallowed. Doubt fills his mind, before it was quickly overwhelmed by determination. Andrei would never do that. Andrei was a healer. He hated Volkov. He had nothing that Volkov could use to blackmail him like what Vaughn was suggesting. “He would never do that.”

“How do you know?” Vaughn’s eyes narrowed, then softened. “I understand that you have a lot of trauma and I understand that you might not be thinking straight. I can’t let you make bad decisions. You’re important to the citadel.”

“Because Volkov had someone rape Andrei at the same time as me because he was kind to me and let me rest.”

Ben hardly realized what he’d shouted at Vaughn until he saw the shocked look on Vaughn’s face.

It took Vaughn a moment to say anything. “I’m sorry about what happened to you. I really am.” He sighed. “I’ll let you see him for a moment. Do you know what direction his soul points in?”

“Northwest - he’s a doctor. He has restoration magic.”

Vaughn nodded. He motioned for Ben to stand. Of course, Ben’s room was in the center of the citadel, where the alchemists in charge all lived together. The two of them walked down the stairs. Ben remembered how Volkov was able to warp the hallways to get to where he wanted - the terrifying feeling that he would never know how to escape because he never knew which direction Volkov was taking him.

“You’re one of the most talented alchemists this citadel has ever seen, Ben.” Vaughn shook his head a little. “We can’t lose you again. Especially not to the likes of that man.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

Silence hung between them as Vaughn opened the door to the dungeons. Ben felt Andrei’s familiar presence, that warm, but bitter smell of Queen Anne’s lace. 

Ben hardly recognized Andrei as Vaughn shut the door behind them, reminding Ben to shout if anything happened. 

Andrei’s eyes were sunken from starvation. His clothes were baggy around his battered frame. His fae creature - a church grim - was in similar horrible condition. 

“Ben?” Andrei croaked. 

Ben wanted to hug Andrei, but the cold metal of iron bars sat between them. Though Andrei was young enough not to be burned, his fae creature wasn’t. Andrei would never leave without her.

“Andrei, I’m so sorry.”

Andrei shook his head. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I’ve worried you, haven’t I?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Ben looked down. “After everything you did for me back then, you deserve to be treated better than this.”

“I’m used to it,” Andrei chuckled sadly. “I came here to help you. Volkov’s curse - there’s a cure.”

“What?” Ben’s heart fell farther than it already had. He was shaking more now. Andrei… Andrei had again given everything for him. He’d become a captive of the alchemists to help him. A captive of Volkov to a captive of his own family.

“I’ll write it for you. It’s possible with alchemy, but you need to be a talented alchemist.” Andrei smiled sadly. “I believe that you can do it.”

Ben smiled back, sadly. The divide between them felt like a chasm with no bridge. Yet, somehow, they were able to reach across to each other.

Ben took out a piece of paper and a pen, handing them to Andrei.

“I know my time with you is limited. I know they also don’t trust me to heal you. So, you heal yourself. Take yourself back from Volkov. You’re strong. You can do it.”

As Andrei handed back the paper, Ben took his hands and looked him in the eyes. “Thank you.”

Andrei smiled weakly. “You’re welcome. Go. Go and be free, Ben. I’ll figure myself out. Don’t worry about me.”

The door opened and Vaughn called to Ben. Ben knew it was time to leave. Treasureing the piece of paper in his pocket, Ben ran to find Zoe. She would believe him. She would trust him.

Most of all, she loved him. He was home, in the citadel, and soon he would be free.

===

[whumpcereal]

I posted 614 times in 2022

That's 614 more posts than 2021!

209 posts created (34%)

405 posts reblogged (66%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@darkthingshappen

@oddsconvert

@whumpcereal

@hold-him-down

@peachy-panic

I tagged 594 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#behavior modification - 144 posts

#jack kenyon oc - 117 posts

#joe prescott oc - 94 posts

#ivan peters oc - 63 posts

#i love asks - 54 posts

#whump writing - 53 posts

#whump - 40 posts

#poor sweet baby ben - 37 posts

#the kennel - 33 posts

#tw noncon - 33 posts

Longest Tag: 122 characters

#jake also needs to realize that he's human and that he couldn't have stopped any of what happened to benny that first time

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Joe giving Jack a bath, and Jack thinks Joe is going to hurt/violate him (early rescue).

content warnings for: bbu/bbu-adjacent content (including the actual unboxing), creepy/intimate whumper, vague references to past noncon and trauma, dubcon nudity, conditioned whumpee, brief emeto mention

Jack sits in the tub, his knees drawn up to his chest. He doesn’t like this bathroom. The lights are too bright, and it’s too small. From his place in the bath, Jack can see veins of yellow-orange cigarette residue poking through the cheap paint on the walls. The tub is shoved in the rear of the little room, bordered by a shower curtain that Jack doesn’t recognize. The toilet and vanity are crammed in practically on top of one another; there’s barely enough space on the floor in front of them for the pilly bathroom rug. 

It shouldn’t feel claustrophobic–Jack’s spent enough time in the leather sack to know it–but it does. 

This isn’t home. He’s supposed to be home. But maybe Joe wants to keep him separate. Maybe they aren’t going to live together anymore. He’ll keep Jack locked up here, so that he can use him whenever he wants. Until Jack’s proven himself. That’s why Joe brought him here. 

No. Joe didn’t bring him here. Jack was sent. Shipped, like they promised he would be. That’s why he’s in the bath. 

He hadn’t meant to make a mess. But he didn’t know how long he’d been in the box. It was too hot, and he’d been so dizzy. He didn’t mean to do it. 

That’s probably why Joe’s face looked the way it had when he pried off the box’s wooden lid. He thought Joe would be happy to see him, that Joe would be proud to see how good Jack learned to be–but he wasn’t. Joe hadn’t smiled. He hadn’t said anything. He’d just frozen, his face twisted into an expression that Jack didn’t know how to read. 

That’s when Jack realized he was covered in his own sick. 

“I’m s-sorry,” he’d said immediately. And then he remembered. “I’m sorry, sir.” His voice had sounded funny and far away, like he was hearing it from the next room. 

He had the distant feeling that he should have felt something, like he should have been excited to see Joe after the months apart. But he didn’t feel it. He was too disoriented. Too frightened. 

He didn’t think Joe felt it either. 

“Jesus Christ,” Joe had murmured. He’d barely even looked at Jack. “Jackie–oh, Jackie, no–” 

Joe broke to his knees then, and Jack knew: he’d fucked up. He hadn’t worked hard enough. He hadn’t done enough to change. 

It was all for nothing. 

Jack is nothing.

Joe took Jack out of the box and carried him straight to the bathroom. Joe left, but Jack waits in the tub because Joe told him to stay there, and Jack will do whatever Joe says. He has to. Maybe it won’t make things right, but it can’t make anything worse. He can show Joe what a good boy he is now.

The water plops into the bathtub, splashing as it collects on itself. It’s warm, and the feeling isn’t unpleasant. Ivan only ever hosed him down in the shower stall, and he never cared much if Jack was comfortable or all that clean.  It was more about what he could reach when Jack was tethered to the shower floor. What he could do. What he always did. What Jack was meant for. Is meant for. 

Joe must want that too. He does. Jack knows it. Ivan told him so. 

Jack hears something crash in a room he can’t identify, and Joe curses. Jack uncoils and lets his hands drop into the shallow water. He hitches his thumbs into his soggy boxer-briefs. They’re heavy with water when he pushes them away, a black wad in the corner of the dingy tub. Jack is heavy too. But still, he presses onto his hands and knees. Position ten. That’s Ivan’s favorite. 

Maybe Joe will like it too. He’s never had Jack this way before. 

Beneath the water, Jack’s wrists are shrunken and white without their leather cuffs. His joints tremble and his ears are warm, but he knows what he’s supposed to do. The skin on his fingers and toes starts to prune, and the water keeps pouring from the tap. 

Joe rounds the corner, and Jack closes his eyes. He can do this. He’s been selfish long enough. Joe deserves to have what he wants, and Jack can give it to him. 

“Okay. Okay, baby–Jack. Jackie. I’ve got–” There’s a soft thump as something hits the floor. “What–what are you doing?” 

It’s a direct question. Jack can answer. But he doesn’t. The tub’s non-slip bottom bites into his knees. He’s shaking. He can’t look. He can’t. 

He thought he could do this. He wanted to be good for Joe. 

He isn’t good. He is only afraid. 

But he doesn’t show it. He stays still, and he waits. 

Joe must turn off the water, because Jack doesn’t hear it anymore. 

“Jackie–” 

See the full post

104 notes - Posted September 1, 2022

#4

behavior modification

WRU has hired renowned behaviorist Dr. Ivan Peters to refine their training protocol for Romantic acquisitions. When Jack Kenyon--the brilliant young partner of one of Ivan’s med school rivals--applies to be Dr. Peters’ research assistant, he has no idea what he’s signing on for. Maybe reblog or leave a note if you feel so inclined? This is my first real whump offering, and I’m excited! 

part one: jack and ivan at dinner

content warnings for creepy whumper, implied future captivity and noncon, dehumanization, and vague references to childhood trauma and specific psychiatric disorders 

The restaurant is crowded, but not too loud. It isn’t the sort of place that ever gets out of hand. White linen table cloths, soft lighting, a gentle undercurrent of piano, polished stemware—everything exudes taste and class. Ivan knows it’s impressive; doing business here always gives him immediate caché with his potential interns. They want to be what he is. They want what he has.

Jack Kenyon is no different. At least, in theory. He is young and eager. He is looking to improve his resumé before applying to doctoral programs. He’s heard of Ivan’s work and wants to be a part of it.

But Jack Kenyon doesn’t know that he’s already been handpicked for a very special project.

Jack says all the right things, of course, and as he talks, Ivan lets his eyes move over the boy’s face, his body. Darling Jack takes pride in his appearance, that much is clear. Straight shoulders, lean jaw. Dark hair, thick, but neatly trimmed. Big blue eyes beneath a fringe of black lashes, the kind people always say are wasted on boys. Lips, sweet and pink; one corner lifts higher than the other when he speaks.

Ivan’s fly is tight just imagining what he’ll be able to do with those lips, the way those eyes will look up at him when sweet little Jack is on his knees where he belongs.

Ivan smiles at the thought and takes a careful sip of wine. “So, you’d want to focus on trauma work?”

“I do.” Jack nods eagerly. “I—it’s very important to me.”

He looks at Ivan for approval. It’s cute, Ivan thinks, how badly Jack already wants to please him. That will be useful. But Ivan will not tip his hand. Not yet.

“And why is it so important?”

It is a pointless question. Ivan already knows the answer. He’s done his research. But Ivan enjoys seeing the sudden alarm in Jack’s eyes anyway; it suits him. It is an animal’s unconditioned response.

“Oh, uh—”

“You don’t have to say, Jack. Not if you don’t want to.”

But darling Jack knows better. If he wants this position, he has to answer. And Jack wants this position.

At least, he thinks he does.

“No. It’s fine. I—well, I was in the system when I was a kid.”

“Foster care?”

“Yes.”

“I suppose you saw a lot of things.”

“I did,” Jack says softly. “I was a really angry kid. Oppositional-defiant disorder, intermittent explosive disorder—”

“Post-traumatic stress disorder?”

Jack nods, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.

Ivan’s seen the boy’s records, of course. Seven foster care placements before he was twelve, then a series of halfway houses and group homes until seventeen. And a stint in juvenile detention at thirteen, for attacking his foster father. The man had gone after Jack, and not for a beating. And Jack, sweet little Jack—he’d fought back.

Ivan hopes Jack still has some fight left in him. It’ll keep things interesting.

“But I got help,” Jack is saying. “There was—one of the group homes, it was actually run by someone who gave a shit—” he winces, and it’s adorable, “I’m sorry—someone who knew what they were doing. They hooked me up—connected me with my first counselor, and it was maybe the first time in my life I didn’t feel like what had happened to me was my fault. I—I’d like to do that for other kids—other people like me.”

Ivan nods. Jack will never do any of that, of course. But that doesn’t mean he won’t have his uses. Ivan will make sure of it.

“That’s a noble goal, Jack. To be of service.”

See the full post

109 notes - Posted May 5, 2022

#3

behavior modification, part eleven

<previous, masterlist here

content warnings: EXPLICIT NONCON (touch & forced orgasm), adult language, creepy/intimate whumper, forced nudity, muzzles, restraints, stress positions, shock collars, dehumanization, humiliation, emotional manipulation, noncon kissing, implied future noncon

Thanks to @darkthingshappen for letting me run a few things by her!

part eleven, jack's consequences

“Now, you’ll stay this way until I’m sure you’ve learned your lesson.” 

Fuck. Jack tries to shake his head, but the distended heft makes his neck feel like it’s going to snap. He can’t stay this way. He can’t. Jack may not be a doctor, but he’s damn sure that people aren’t supposed to be left upside-down. Ivan has to know that. Doesn’t he? He tries to look at Ivan, but he can’t get his eyes to focus. Too many shocks. 

Ivan’s phone rings. 

Please! Jack shrieks. The word rockets up his throat, but it doesn’t make it any further, because there’s a fucking metal plate trapping his tongue. The only sound that comes out is an animal’s groan. But they have to hear him! They have to!  

Jack tries again to raise his head, but he can’t. It weighs a fucking ton, and with his arms wrenched back the way they are, he has no way to brace himself–his entire body shakes with the effort. Of course, Ivan designed it that way. 

The thought traps Jack’s breath. 

He tugs at his cuffs, but the movement burns all the way down to his calves. Jesus.  He’s trussed like game, for Ivan’s pleasure. He’s mute, for Ivan’s pleasure. He’s burnt and sick and so fucking tired, for Ivan’s pleasure. And he can’t even scream. 

He tries to wrench his mouth open, but the bit stays in place, and the leather of his muzzle glues itself to his sweaty skin. For the millionth time in the last forty-eight hours, his eyes sting with tears–only this time, they run up instead of down. 

The phone rings again, and Ivan glares down at him. 

“Don’t. Make. A. Sound. Or I’ll push this button until you have more in common with a potato than a man.” 

The thing is, Jack knows he will. He’s already seen the way Ivan’s eyes light up in the split second before the collar throws him to the floor. 

But what Jack didn’t realize is that he already thinks it might be a relief. To disappear. To not feel everything that’s happening to him–or everything that will happen to him. 

Jack doesn’t know if he can take it. Not again. And he doesn’t know if it’s better to be good or bad. 

He swallows his whimper and lets his body go slack. The blood rushes to his head, but this time, he doesn’t fight it. 

Ivan nods at him and taps his screen. “Dr. Ivan Peters?” 

For a moment, the only thing Jack hears is the roar of the blood in his ears–and then Ivan’s breath hitches. 

“Oh, uh, hello, Sergeant.”

Sergeant. 

It’s the police. The police are looking for him. Joe is looking for him and– 

“Would you mind holding for just a moment, Sergeant Wade? I’m in the middle of some work, and I’d like to keep my hands free.” 

The police sergeant must assent, because Ivan lays his phone down on the floor next to Jack’s chair. He kneels down and cups the back of Jack’s head in his hand, raising it so that Jack can’t help but look into Ivan’s steely blue eyes. 

“Are you there, Sergeant?” 

Jack knows Ivan’s speaking to the person on the phone, but his gaze is for Jack alone. Don’t make a sound, Ivan mouths again.

“Yes, doctor.”  It’s a woman. The sergeant is a woman. Her voice is kind, Jack thinks. She’ll help him. He knows it.  “Sorry to interrupt your morning,” she says. “I’m calling in regards to a missing persons report on a Mr. Jack Kenyon.” 

Jack’s tears cut a salty path into his hair, but he manages to keep himself still. He squeezes his eyes shut. Joe knows–he knows Jack wouldn’t run off. Joe knows Jack. Joe loves him. Maybe–

See the full post

116 notes - Posted June 9, 2022

#2

Obligatory Intro Post

I’m Kay, and after lurking around whumblr for the past year or so, I decided to make my own discreet side-blog so that I could join in the fun too. Even though I didn’t know what “whump” was until very recently, I’ve been digging on whumperflies my whole life. You know that scene in Aladdin where Jasmine gets imprisoned in the giant hourglass? Yeah. It probably started there. The whump community seems pretty supportive of one another and enthusiastic about each other’s content, so I thought I’d give it a try. 

Favorite Whump Tropes: Thanks to tumblr, I’ve found that I like captivity whump, pet whump, intimate/creepy whumpers, psychological whump, and a lot of the nsfwhump content that bounces around out there. (My writing will include all of that and may also include some non/dub-con elements--heads up!). 

Things I’m Not Into: I’m not super into high fantasy stuff, but I’ll give anything a try if I like the writer. Generally, I’m not aware of my hard “no”s until I accidentally stumble onto them, so I suppose I’ll update that as I figure it out.  

Favorite Whump Blogs: Absolutely loving @darkthingshappen‘s “Brother’s Keeper” series right now. Fell deep in love with @ashintheairlikesnow‘s Daniel Michaelson months ago. Have reread @card-games-and-pain‘s “Lonely Barricade” and assorted sundries more times than is appropriate. Binged @deluxewhump‘s Zee stories and loved them all. 

I’ve got the first bits of my own saga outlined, and I’m looking forward to sharing them (soonish?). Until then, maybe I’ll post a random whump drabble to help introduce myself. 

Greetings, whumblr! 

121 notes - Posted May 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

behavior modification master list

WRU has hired renowned behaviorist Dr. Ivan Peters to refine their training protocol for Romantic acquisitions. When Jack Kenyon–the brilliant young partner of one of Ivan’s med school rivals–applies to be Dr. Peters’ research assistant, he has no idea what he’s signing on for. 

Please see individual chapters for detailed and specific content warnings. This story will contain noncon elements [*]; proceed with caution!

behavior modification pre-timeline content: organized in rough chronological order

past snippet: jack's fourteenth birthday

-/-/-

part one: jack and ivan at dinner

part two: jack and joe, before captivity

part three: jack's abduction

part four: ivan welcomes to jack to captivity

part five: worries for joe, bath time for jack

part six: jack's intake interview (part one)

part seven: jack's intake interview (part two)

part eight: past, present, and future

part nine: breakfast time

part ten: jack learns his positions

part eleven: jack's consequences*

part twelve: ivan's apology

part thirteen: jack's last chance to feel*

part fourteen: joe and his mother

part fifteen: prelude to punishment

part sixteen: jack's first treatment*

part seventeen: deprivation

part eighteen: jack loses joe

part nineteen: case notes*

part twenty: yes, sir*

drabble: statue*

drabble: bravo*

drabble: good boy, sweet boy*

-/-/-

See the full post

193 notes - Posted May 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[kpopsickies]

materlist

NCT Fics

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/662328263246594048?source=share   (Mark+Haechan snz)

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/665125670115016704?source=share (Jungwoo, sick) 

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/686888427783897088?source=share (Ten snz, Johnten)

Stray Kids Fics

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/663026760216199168?source=share  (Felix sick, Chanlix)

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/663308886528360448?source=share  (Chan+Felix sick, Chanlix)

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/670652012948537344?source=share (pt 1 of skz xmas)

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/671429625680887808?source=share (pt 2 skz xmas)

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/671567704586600448?source=share (pt 3 skz xmas)

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/672339548108406784?source=share (pt 4 skz xmas {final part})

TXT fics

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/664393968204840960?source=share (Taegyu, Taehyun snz)

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/668121898255892480?source=share (Soobin emeto) 

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/670461546874503168?source=share (Yeonjun snz/sick)

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/674095027458359296?source=share (Kai sick, Yeonbin) 

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/675810645945499648?source=share (Yeonjun sick)

Monsta X fics

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/665698434731425792?source=share  (Changkyun sick, platonic Jookyun) 

BTS fics

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/672111065089327105?source=share (Jhope sick, platonic sope) 

Enhypen fics

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/672551474097700864?source=share (Jake emeto) 

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/674019909541543936?source=share (Jay+Jungwon snz)

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/680294530666332160?source=share (Jake+Heeseung snz)

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/686625920074842112?source=share (En- Maknae line, snz)

Twice fics

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/673200796315402240?source=share (Jihyo snz)

Seventeen fics

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/676219902857756672?source=share (Hansol sick, Verkwan)

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/678824356079714304?source=share (Seokmin snz/sick) 

Superm 

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/680204410683621376?source=share (Taemin sick, Taekai)

Xdinary Heros fic

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kpopsickies/685408518452428800?source=share (Jooyeon emeto) 

[k-sickies]

hii can i please request an enhypen fic with a sick jake and sunghoon caretaker? emeto if it's possible :>

Hey!

Do you have any scenario in mind? :)

[random-fandom-whump]

The Outpost S01E09

(X)

[dudadragneel]

Hello guys! It's me! How are you?

Soo I'm back with another original idea! This one has been sitting in my notes for over a year now 😱

It's about Jake and it's inspired by a video from Youth with you!

I hope you'll enjoy!!

ROOKIE SIDE EFFECTS

It was supposed to be just another typical day for the group, singing practice, dance practice, and rewinding. The only different thing was that they were going to be mentored by Jung Hoseok himself. Given his love for dancing, J-Hope decided to give the rookie group a little bit of advice and evaluate them on their dancing.

They got to the practice room and energetically greeted their sunbae before they started practicing. They danced to a few of their songs and other random songs as well. Everything went smoothly, until the very end.

When they were done dancing and stood in line to hear what their sunbae had to say, one of the members wasn’t quite there anymore.

-   Well done guys! Good work. Now- Jake, are you alright? What’s wrong?

The older asked when he noticed that Jake was bent over his knees, head looking down.

Throughout the dance, Jake started to feel funny, he broke into a cold sweat, his stomach started to act funny and with every movement, every turn, he felt like his stomach’s content just kept on swirling around. When they stopped he braced himself for support and kept looking down, swallowing convulsively, trying to die down the urge to vomit, afraid that if he moved his head, he might lose control.

The boys noticed that something was wrong with Jake and quickly gathered around him. After successfully swallowing down the awful feeling, he lifted his head to look at his sunbae.

-  I’m sorry, can I use the restroom? He asked, face gone pale and sweaty.

- Of course.

With permission from the oldest, Jake quickly left the room.

- Can I go check on him? Jay asked.

- Sure, please.

Jay thought that since the boy was Australian, he would feel more at ease talking in English when feeling sick. When he got to the restroom, the boy was bent over the toilet gagging unproductively.

- Hey, how are you feeling?

- Awful…I don’t know what’s happening. When I was in the room it felt like I could throw up at any minute but now nothing’s coming up.

He said gagging again and spitting out a mouthful of saliva.

- Can I touch you?

Jay asked trying to not make his friend even more uncomfortable.

- Yeah…

Jake said with an exhausted voice

Jay put his hand on the boy’s nape and waist and asked

- Come on, I’ll help you, ok? Try tensing your stomach as if you’re gonna cough.

The boy did as he was told and Jay started to rub his back from bottom to top, gently pressing down when doing so, to stimulate him.

After a few unproductive tries, Jake’s stomach brought up all the food he’d eaten In the past few hours.

He bent even further, painfully arching his back not having time to catch his breath before another wave came up, making him sway on his feet. Jay was fast to grab him by the waist steadying him and guiding him to kneel down.

- There you go. Let it all out, don’t try to hold it in.

He said when he noticed Jake starting to convulsively swallow again.

The boy didn’t want to get sick anymore, everything hurt and he was getting scared and annoyed.

 BACK TO THE PRACTICE ROOM

Everyone in the room looked surprised by the situation, there was an eerie silence before J-Hope spoke.

- What’s going on with him?

He asked, face filled with concern for his hoobae.

- He had a bit of a fever that night, but when he woke up today he said he was feeling better and even had breakfast with us.

The leader answered.

- I guess all the movement made him feel nauseous.

J-Hope took the opportunity to give them a little bit of advice.

- Okay, what I am going to say here is not a lecture ok? Jungwon, as the leader, you need to know every member’s condition, you have the authority to decide whether or not someone is taking part in practice. Of course, you have to talk to the staff before making the best decision.

When he finished his sentence, Jake and Jay walked into the room. The boys gathered around them asking if Jake was alright, the boy gave a quick answer and immediately went to apologize to his sunbae. J-Hope said that he didn’t need to do that and told all of them to sit down, given that Jake wasn’t feeling well. And he sat down as well.

-  Look guys, maybe the staff and the company won't like what I am going to say here but I’m going to be brutally honest. Nothing, nothing, none of this is worth your health. No music, no dance, no show, nothing is worth your health. Your well-being comes first. If you care for your fans as much as you say you do, you need to take care of yourself. Nothing good will come out of you performing while sick or injured and something happening on stage mid-performance. It can be risky to you, and to your members, and it will scare your fans, and you’ll make them worried. It’s best to sit out a few schedules, and a few concerts to treat yourself than to take part in it and worsen your situation, forcing you to take a hiatus, which wouldn’t be needed had you taken care of it earlier. Okay? Remember, your well-being comes before any of this.

The boys looked shocked to hear their sunbae make such a strong statement.

- Now, I’m not lecturing you, just giving some advice, coming from someone who’s been on the run for 8 years. But enough of that. I will give you guys proper individual evaluations at a later date but for now what I can say is that overall all of you improved, your movements are more fluid, your expressions are stronger and your stage presence got way better. I would advise you guys to work on your singing now, given that you evolved in your dancing, your singing abilities need to follow up. You can't come on stage dancing that well and not being able to sing along as well. For now, that’s what I have to say. You guys need to go home, Jake needs to rest. We’ll set up another date so we can get a proper evaluation of all of you, ok?

They all said goodbye to their sunbae and Jake apologized again.

- I’m sorry, sunbaenim.

- There’s no need to apologize. Just focus on getting better, ok? Bye-bye.

As soon as he walked out, the boys went over to check on Jake who had his head in his hands.

- Jake hyung, you okay? – Ni-ki and Sunoo asked

- No…

he said as he felt his stomach’s content making its way up again

– Fuck- pass me the trashcan-

He said in English, which Heeseung was quick to understand, and put the object on the boy’s lap.

Heeseung stayed with Jake rubbing his back while the boy threw up. After he was finished, he started to feel weird, suddenly everything got too much, the lights, the noise, the room, his ears were ringing. His breathing quickened, it felt like he just kept inhaling without getting oxygen. The boys noticed and grew even more concerned.

- Hey, Jake, what’s wrong?

Jay asked, already beside him

- I- I can’t breathe…There’s- there’s too many people… he said in between breaths

- Let’s give him some space

Heeseung said motioning to the boys to get away from the sick boy.

-  I’ll call the manager. – Jungwon said leaving the room.

- Hey, do you want to move to the bathroom? Jay asked.

- I don’t want to move right now, I feel like I’m gonna pass out…- he said holding his head

-  Okay, we’ll leave.

The rest of the boys said as they left the room.

Leaving Jake alone with Jay and Sunghoon.

- Hey, Sunghoon, can you massage his nape for me?

- hm, of course.

Sunghoon kept quiet throughout the whole situation, not because he didn't care, but because he didn't want to do something wrong and make Jake even more annoyed. So when Jay instructed him on what to do, he was quick.

As soon as Sunghoon started massaging Jake's nape, the boy tensed up again, spilling out even more of his stomach's content.

Sunghoon didn't stop what he was doing and Jay went beside Jake to rub his back and try to calm him down, seeing that he was breathing hard again

- Hey, Jake, look at me. I need you to breathe ok? Do it with me. Breathe in 1 2 3 4, hold it 1 2 3 4, and exhale 1 2 3 4. That's it, keep going.

Jake followed along with Jay's instructions until he was breathing normally again.

- There you go, feeling more calm now? Sunghoon asked

- Yeah... sorry for the trouble...

Jake said, voice filled with exhaustion

- There's no need to apologize. We've got you.

- I'm tired...

Jake said as he leaned his weight on Sunghoon.

OUTSIDE THE ROOM

- Oh, Hyung! Jungwon said as the manager answered the phone.

- Oh, Jungwonie. Did you guys finish practice already?

- Yeah, kind of. Jake got sick.

- What? What happened?

- We don't know, he got sick while we were dancing and he threw up 3 times.

- Okay, wait for me. I'll be right there.

- Okay.

- What did he say?

The boys asked Jungwon as soon as he finished the call.

- He's coming here.

The boys went back to the room to find Jake resting on Sunghoon's shoulder and Jay gathering their things.

- The manager is on his way. - Jungwon said coming closer to the trio.

- How is Jake hyung doing? Ni-ki asked with a concerned expression.

- I don't know but he is a little bit more calm now. Jay answered.

A few minutes later the manager got to the room to assess the situation and talk to the boys.

- Hey, guys. Hey Jake, how are you doing?

The manager asked kneeling in front of the boy.

- I feel dizzy, tired and nauseous.

Jake answered not daring to move a muscle, scared that by doing so his stomach would act up again.

- Okay. I'll go talk to the company to cancel the rest of your schedules for the week. Meanwhile, gather your stuff and wait for me in the other room, it's more comfortable there.

- Understood.

- Jake, do you think you can stand up?

Sunghoon asked.

- I think so...

The boy tried to, but his body felt way heavier than he thought. Seeing his struggle, the boys helped him up, careful to not make him even more dizzy, and made their way to the other room.

Jake sat on the couch with Heeseung and Sunghoon by his side, while the others went to buy a sports drink for Jake.

For a while, Jake was calm, the nausea was barely there and he thought he was starting to get better and that all of that could've just been something bad he ate earlier.

Deep down he knew it wasn't the case since the other members were fine, but he tried to hold on to that thought.

The boys came back with a sports drink for Jake, who took it gratefully, the ordeal earlier left his throat dry and raspy, and he was craving for some sort of drink. He took small sips, which his stomach agreed with, and then settled the bottle aside and leaned back on the couch again.

A few minutes after he started to feel his stomach twisting again, the feeling went up to his throat and he quickly sat straight, one hand on his chest and the other tightly gripping Heeseung's hand. He started swallowing convulsively again, trying his best to hold everything in, at least until he could go to the restroom. When he finally managed to swallow it down he asked his hyung for help.

- hyung...can you take me to the bathroom?

He asked taking his hand to cover his mouth.

- Let's go.

Heeseung was quick to help Jake up and guide him to the bathroom. As soon as they got there they went straight into one of the stalls, where Jake immediately threw up, and before he could catch his breath, another wave came up making him sway on his feet again and kneel in front of the toilet.

As he continued to spill his stomach's contents, which by now was basically bile and water, one of the TXT members walked in to find both his hoobaes on the bathroom floor.

- oh my god! Are you guys okay?

Heeseung was startled for a moment, because of the sudden presence of another person and also by the sound of more vomit splattering on the toilet.

- Oh! Soobin hyung!

- What's wrong with Jake? Is he okay?

Soobin asked, clearly worried and walking closer to the duo

- It started about an hour ago, during practice. We don't know what's happening.

Heeseung said as he continued to rub Jake's back.

- H-Heeseung hyung... I think I'm done...

- Okay, let's go. Let's rinse your mouth.

Soobin was quick to help Jake up to his feet and held him close since he swayed when he stood up.

- Thanks Soobin Hyung, sorry for the trouble.

The boys said to the oldest.

- Oh no, you don't need to apologize. If you need any help you can contact us at any time.

- Thank you, Soobin hyung.

The boys left the bathroom and went back to the room and found the manager arriving just in time as well.

- Did he throw up again?

The manager asked.

- Yes, it's the fourth time now.

- Okay. I talked to the company, and your schedules have been canceled for the rest of the week. If by Monday, Jake's still not recovered he will remain resting and you guys will return to your normal schedules. Now we'll go to the hospital to figure out what's happening. Jake, can you walk?

- I feel dizzy, I don't think I can.

- Okay, I'll give you a piggyback ride to the car. Let's go. The manager said, getting the boy on his back.

The boys all settled in the car, Jake sitting closer to the door with Ni-Ki in case something happened while the others sat randomly.

The ride was quite peaceful, Jake tried to keep looking forward so that the movement of the landscape wouldn't make him feel nauseous. And it seemed to be working well, until the manager passed a spring breaker without noticing which made the car move abruptly, leading to Jake's stomach acting up again.

He could feel the burning sensation coming up his throat and saliva pooling inside his mouth. He started swallowing convulsively again, and he grabbed Ni-ki's hand unknowingly and gripped tight, which Ni-ki noticed.

- Hyung? What is it? Do you feel sick again?

The younger asked, squeezing Jake's hand to reassure him he was there.

- Y-yes. P-pull over. He managed to say before he gagged into his hand.

- Hyung! Stop the car! Jungwon told the manager.

They managed to stop at a rest area. Thankfully not so far from the hospital.

Jake stumbled out of the car, bending over as he immediately threw up, using his hands on his knees to not lose balance.

Sunghoon and Ni-ki went over to hold him by the waist as another wave made him arch his back, making him lose his balance.

- We've got you. Dont worry.

Sunghoon said, rubbing Jake's back and removing his sweaty bangs from his forehead.

The other members went to the convenience store to buy him something to drink.

- Here. Drink this. It's a sports drink, your favorite flavor. I think it might help you a little.

Jay said handing him the bottle.

Jake gratefully took the drink, given that his mouth tasted vile. His stomach decided to accept it, for now, apparently giving him a brake.

They waited a few more minutes until Jake felt safe to get into the car again and made their way to the hospital.

AT THE HOSPITAL

- Good afternoon! How are you guys doing?

The doctor who examined Jake was already known to take care of the members' health.

- Hello, doctor. We're well... I guess.

Jungwon and Jay were the ones, along with the manager, who entered the room with Jake.

- what happened with Jake?

The doctor asked, getting up to take his vitals.

- He had a mild fever last night and today during practice he started to vomit.

- How many times did he throw up?

- About five now

- Okay, that's concerning. Jake, what are you feeling right now?

The boy was still feeling nauseous and the thought of having to answer was making the sensation even worse. He took a few breaths in and when the feeling died down a bit he answered.

- Really nauseous....my head hurts and I feel a little dizzy...

- I see. Well. You are running a fever now, it's 37.5 °C. And your blood pressure is rather low.

Here's what we're gonna do. I will take a few blood samples so we can know what's going on. I think it's probably a stomach bug. While we wait for the results, you'll stay here on I.V. drips, since you can't keep anything down and you're getting dehydrated.

But before the doctor could finish what she/he was saying, Jake's nausea increased and made him gag into his hand.

- I-I'm sorry- I'm gonna be sick-

He manages to say before a stream of water and bile hits the bin, which thankfully the doctor managed to put on his lap. Before he could take a breath, another wave came up, hurting his already sore throat, Jungwon was rubbing his hyung's back through the whole ordeal.

- I'm sorry....

he said wiping his mouth and taking a sip of water.

- No, don't worry! You can lay down there, I'll get the I.V. drop ready. It might make you a little nauseous. I'll be back in 40 minutes.

40 MINUTES PASS

- Okay, I got the results. As I suspected, it's a stomach flu/bug. I'll give you a prescription for the nausea and one for the fever. Don't take any of them on an empty stomach, okay? We don't want to further irritate your stomach. The fever reducer only take them if the fever is past 37,6°C, if not, let the body do its work. Other than that, I'll give you some advice. Drink lots of water, and sports drinks as well, it'll keep you hydrated. You can also drink mint tea, ginger tea, or lemongrass tea, they'll also help with the nausea, but don't put any sugar. You can eat some soup, with very little seasoning to not trigger the nausea. And also bread, if you're feeling really hungry but you're afraid of eating anything with the littlest of seasoning, bread will help you. It's got no seasoning other than salt and it'll also help with your stomach acid.

- Thank you, doctor! The boys said together.

- This should take about 4-5 days to get better. If by the fifth day, you're still throwing up, come back here so we can run more tests.

- Understood.

- Great! Get well soon Jake, I hope I don't see you in five days (the doctor said giggling). But do contact me so I'll know how he's doing. Oh! One more thing before you leave. Take this (the doctor said giving them a sick bag). Trust me, it'll be of great help on your way home.

- Thank you, doctor!

They left the hospital and Jungwon updated the members on Jake's condition. The boys were still worried but relieved that they now knew what to do.

- Jake, do you want to go straight home or can we stop by the drugstore to buy your medicines? (The manager asked)

- We can go to the drugstore first.... the sick boy answered clearly exhausted by the whole ordeal.

The ride to the drugstore and the dorm obviously wasn't peaceful with Jake getting sick twice. The boys were very, very grateful to the doctor for giving them the sick bag.

AT THE DORM

Sunghoon and Jungwon helped Jake walk to the dorm. After throwing up more than 6 times, the boy could barely keep his eyes open, or move his legs, they felt like jelly.

- Finally, we're home!

They said letting out a big sigh of relief. Jake was now at home and he could be properly taken care of.

- Jake, what you wanna do now?

- I wanna take a bath, I feel really gross...

- Okay, Sunghoon and I will stay with you.

Jay said getting closer to the boy and wrapping his hand around his waist.

- We'll make something for him to eat. Heeseung said walking to the kitchen with the other boys.

While Sunghoon and Jay were in the bathroom with Jake, Jungwon got a phone call.

- oh! It's Soobin hyung! He said, while his eyes widened in surprise.

The others gathered around him as he put the phone on speaker.

- Oh! Jungwon! How are you guys? Did you get home safely?

- Soobin hyung! We're good! We just got back home.

- How's Jake? Did you guys go to the hospital?

- yes. It's a stomach bug/flu. The doctor gave some prescriptions for medicine and said that it should take about 4 days until he is better.

- I see. Well, at least it's nothing serious. I also called to say that Taehyun was making him some soup.

- oh! There was no need to, sunbaenims are busy.

- he insisted heheh. He said he would do it with very light seasoning. It will be ready in about 40 minutes. We'll go deliver it to you guys.

If you need any help, don't hesitate to ask!

- Thank you Hyung!

IN THE BATHROOM

Jay and Sunghoon decided to help Jake to the shower, as it would be safer that way, given that the sick boy threw up about seven times that day and could barely stand. They were never as grateful as now for having a bathtub.

- Guys....you don't need to be here..... I'm okay...

- No. Nope. No way. You're not passing out on me. No no. We'll stay here, whether you like it or not.

- But... it's embarrassing...

- just cover up then. Come on.

- Get in the bathtub. It's safer this way.

Sunghoon said guiding Jake to sit on the bathtub.

- Okay.... but... leave the bin closed. I don't want to puke on the water I'm bathing with.

- Okay.

The shower was going smoothly until Jake started feeling nauseous again. He shut his eyes and squeezed his hands so tight his knuckles turned white. His breathing labored which caught the boys' attention.

- Hey, Jake, are you feeling sick again?

Sunghoon asked getting closer to him and putting his hand on his shoulder.

Jake was feeling so weak he only managed to nod before gagging.

Thankfully Sunghoon was quick enough to get the bin under Jake's chin before the boy threw up for the eighth time that day. As was expected, only bile and water came out, and even after there was nothing left to come up, his body insisted on convulsing and arching his back which was getting annoyingly painful. But thank heavens Sunghoon kept his hand on Jake's back throughout the whole ordeal.

Seeing his friend in distress Jay decided to help Jake, as he saw the boy's face go pale.

- Hey hey hey. You're not passing out on me, remember? Here, lean your back here. Breathe with me okay? Come on. Breathe in four, hold for, and exhale four.

After a few minutes following Jay's instructions, the color had returned to Jake's face and he felt like he had control of his body again.

- There you go. Feeling better?

- Yeah...a little... thanks.

- let's just try to relax a bit more before we get out okay? Lean your back there, I'm gonna warm up the water a little bit more. There, how is it?

- Woah, relaxing....

Jake said with a tired smile on his face, the first one since all of the ordeal started.

- Great. Let's stay like this for a while, hm? Just feel the water trailing down your back and keep breathing...

A few minutes passed until Jake was finally well enough to come out of the bath without fainting.

While they were in the bathroom the others were quick to get Jake's bed ready so that everything he would have to do now was rest.

Jay and Sunghoon helped him settle down on the bed and make sure he was feeling a little bit better.

- Thanks, guys.... I'm sorry for the trouble...

- There's no need to thank us. We're brothers remember?

Jay said with a smile putting his hand on the sick boy's shoulder.

- How are you feeling?

- Relaxed... I needed that bath, I was feeling really gross. I'm feeling refreshed at least.

- That's good. I need to go finish some things. I'll come back later.

Jay said leaving the boy with Sunghoon.

They all decided to take turns to stay with Jake, to keep him company and also to make sure he would be safe.

Sunghoon was the first one to stay in the bedroom. Despite everything, Jake wasn't really sleepy, he felt tired but not enough to fall asleep. So they just talked. In fact, Jake asked Sunghoon to keep chatting with him so he could distract himself from the nausea. It wasn't gone but it wasn't as strong as before.

The idea worked. Jake was lying down on the bed and Sunghoon was sitting comfortably next to him, chatting until it was time for another member to come in.

Now it was Ni-ki, and he had bought some things with him.

- Hi, hyung. How are you feeling?

- A bit nauseous but better overall I guess... What's that?

He asked pointing to what was in Ni-ki's hands.

- This is something my mom used to do whenever I got sick or had headaches. You said you had a headache, right Hyung?

- Hmm...

- This will help. It's hot water mixed with some herbs. The mix should help with relieving the pain and I hope the smell will help with your nausea.

- Thanks Ni-Ki.

Ni-Ki carefully placed the wet clothes over Jake's forehead and eyes and it did feel heavenly. It helped relax the tenseness he felt and the nausea as well, it didn't take long before he was fast asleep.

About 3 hours later, Jake woke up, feeling better like he really needed that sleep. It took some time for him to take in his surroundings since he still had the wet cloth on his forehead but he looked to the side and found Jay on his phone.

- hey.

- oh! You're awake. Did you sleep well?

- Yeah. That wet cloth Ni-Ki bought really helped.

- How are you feeling now?

- Better.

- And the nausea?

- Barely there. It feels almost gone now.

- Thank goodness. We were thinking of watching a movie now since it's raining. Want to join us?

- Yes. I think getting distracted will help.

- then let's go.

The boys all gathered in the living room, some of them had bowls of popcorn, others some other snacks, and Jake settled for a bottle of water. Even though he was feeling better, popcorn and such probably wouldn't be a good choice for his stomach.

They turned off the lights and put the movie to play. It was an action/horror genre, very suited for a stormy noon. They were all enjoying it, with the scared cats jumping every once in a while, bringing much amusement to the brave ones. Jake was part of the scaredy-cat group, and despite being jumpy, he was enjoying the movie for a while.

But after 1 hour, he started to feel funny again, the brightness from the TV along with the flashing from the movie and the smell of popcorn and chips started to kick in. He felt his head begin to throb again and the nausea that was controlled had come back in full force. He took a small sip of his water and sunk into the couch, eyes fixed anywhere else but the TV. He gripped the fabric of his pants until his knuckles turned white as he began swallowing convulsively. He managed to swallow the urge to vomit and relaxed but that moment of peace only lasted for a few seconds. Another strong wave of nausea enrolled him, making him repeat the process, swallowing convulsively and trying to take deep breaths. Jay who was sitting by his side noticed the sudden change in behaviour.

- Hey, Jake, bro are you okay?

- N-no-

He answered and immediately gagged wetly into his hand making Jay spring into action.

- Shit! Let's go to the bathroom.

He said helping Jake up and darting to the bathroom with him, leaving the other six completely shocked.

Jake went straight to the toilet and bent over as a thick stream of vomit gushed out of him, some hitting his hands and the edges of the toilet and splashing inside the bowl with a sickening sound.

- Easy bro.

Jay said as he rubbed Jake's back and the sick boy let out a wet burp that brought up an even thicker wave of vomit mixing inside the bowl. And to add to his misery, the fever that seemingly gone seemed to have returned. He could feel his body burn, even Jay's hand felt both comforting and painful because of the fever. And Jay noticed through the touch that the fever might've spiked.

- I think your fever spiked again.

He said brushing Jake's bangs out of the way and placing a hand on his forehead.

- yep. It's definitely high.

By now, the others were in the bathroom that Jay forgot to close, clearly worried about Jake's condition.

- How is he?

Jungwon asked voice filled with worry and a slight tone of fear. He was the leader but he was also the second youngest.

- Not good. I think his fever is high again.

- I'll get a thermometer.

Heeseung said already leaving.

Jake choked and started coughing making his head throb in pain which left him lightheaded. He swayed forward and Jay secured him and guided him to kneel in front of the toilet.

- There you go. I don't want you passing out on me.

As soon as he was kneeling, he jerked forward as another wave of pale brown vomit made its way out.

Heeseung came back with the thermometer and handed it to Jay.

- 38.3°C. It's really high. You'll have to take the medication.

- I don't think I can...

- Try to take some anti-emetic first and then you take the other.

- I'll try.

Jake threw up one more time before he was left dry heaving over the toilet.

- I think you're done. Let's rinse your mouth and get you to bed.

Jay helped him to the sink, he rinsed his mouth and the boys took him to the bedroom. They got some sports drinks and the pills for the sick boy.

He managed to take both but the boys placed a bucket in his lap just in case. And indeed, taking the medication triggered his stomach but he managed to control it and didn't throw up.

They left the bucket near the bed, helped him lie down, and covered him.

Ni-Ki had school the other day but he made sure his hyung was taken care of and made the same mix from before to help him. He put the wet cloth on his forehead covering his eyes and then went to sleep.

Jay slept with him and woke up every now and then to check Jake's temperature and help him through vomiting episodes.

Just like the doctor said, Jake spent 4 days throwing up a few times during the day and night but the boys were there to help throughout the process until his recovery.

[crinkled-emotions]

Day 1: Nights spent by the toilet, rubbing A's shoulder

We're finally here! I kinda felt like maybe I wouldn't get to this point but here we are, ready to publish day 1!

The way these are going to work is very similar to my other fics: they will vary in length, the warnings will be the first thing you see (where applicable) and then the fic itself will be under a readmore. We're starting with a bang, but there are a couple different types of fics coming with multiple ships and, of course, some Dagger time!

This particular fic was partially inspired by one I wrote last December - find it here!

Warnings for this fic: emeto

-

Rapping his knuckles on the bar table in front of Phoenix and Bob, Payback immediately had their attention.

“Bagman’s out the front pukin’, might want to go check on him.”

“Why not you?” Bob replied. Payback sent him a look and Bob sighed.

“Well it can’t be me either; I already lined up a game of pool with Fanboy and Rooster.”

With that, Bob got up and followed Payback into the crowd, leaving Phoenix on her lonesome. For such a big team, no one really minded having a moment to themselves. She glanced around the Hard Deck, taking in the rest of her team. Coyote was nowhere to be found which was odd; he was usually one of the first to suggest a team outing on a Saturday night, shortly followed by Hangman. Considering how much they fed off each other’s shithead energy, no one was really shocked that Penny had them thrown overboard at least once a month... maybe twice, if they were really leaning into their naughty adult children act (terrorising Rooster at the piano). She’d barely seen Hangman tonight, but a glance from Penny and Maverick told her they had information she could use. As she walked past she gently touched Rooster’s shoulder. She always did it when passing him- he did it too. They used it as a way to check in with each other more than anything.

Up at the bar, Penny offered Phoenix a bottle of water and a gentle smile.

“I saw Seresin looking a little green earlier; do you want Mav to come with you?”

“Hey!” Maverick protested, but the corner of his lips twitched upwards. Phoenix shook her head.

“I’ve known Seresin since before either of us were legally allowed to drink; we’re fine. If Bob asks tell him I’m taking Hangman home.”

“Sure thing.”

Penny walked off to serve an incoming customer, but Maverick paused for a moment.

“Are you sure, Tasha? I was only joking-“

“-it’s better that you don’t, he’ll crawl out of his skin,” Phoenix reassured, “it’s nothing personal.”

“I understand. We’re here if you need anything.”

Never had Phoenix met a CO like Maverick; though, to be fair, she wasn’t sure there was anyone like Maverick. Paternal but firm and with a quick temper. She’d been one of the only people allowed to know the full story between him and Bradley; it felt like a privilege and she continued to treat it as one.

-

“Hey; what’s going on? Did your drink get spiked?”

Natasha had seen Jake in a lot of compromising positions over the almost ten years of knowing each other; from her roommate’s bed in the academy to the stomach flu of ’09 that had taken out him, her and Bradley all in one swoop. It’s still a topic all of them refuse to talk about. Sitting in the dirt around the side of the Hard Deck, Phoenix barely blinked as she reached to help him up. Jake grimaced.

“Wait, don’t move me yet. I didn’t get spiked; I think it’s a cold at worst. Relax, Tasha.”

Another thing Phoenix learned very early on in their frenemyship; Hangman will understate everything going on in the hopes it gets him left alone until he’s ready to accept help (read: most likely requiring hospital treatment or, at the very least, a cleaner with a strong stomach... cooking dinner ended up requiring both once).

“Yeah, sure, and I haven’t done this for you before. Do you know where Coyote is?”

“He’s not here.”

“I know that; where is he specifically?”

In response, Jake just shrugged and Phoenix determined if she didn’t laugh, she’d probably smack him. Hefting an arm around her shoulder, she pulled him to stand. Immediately he snorted and Natasha rolled her eyes.

“Okay, man, out with it.”

“Have you ever thought of suing the county? Y’know, for putting the sidewalk too close to your ass- ow! Hey, I’m sick!”

That time, he did get smacked.

With his keys in hand, Natasha guided (read: dragged) Jake back to his truck. Climbing into the driver’s seat she sighed and reached for the handle to pull it forward; for someone who had just lost everything they’d eaten over the last 24 hours, Jake seemed to find this rather funny from the passenger seat.

“Fuck you, Seresin.”

That shut him up for the time being. They only had a short window to get him home before the nausea would take over and Phoenix wasn’t down for pulling over for him to hurl on the side of a street.

-

In the end they barely made it back to his place. Phoenix had barely pulled up before he threw himself out the passenger side to gag rather dramatically on to his driveway. She rounded the back of the truck to put a hand on his back, wincing at the warmth radiating off his body. Jake shivered, turning to look at Natasha.

“This sucks.”

She snorted.

“It does, even more when it’s not because you had tequila the night before. C’mon, you aren’t doing anything else but going to bed tonight.”

“No, wait; I don’t think I’m done.”

“You’re empty, dude. Anything further and you’re gonna tear your throat.”

Jake winced, sucking in a breath.

“Promise you’re not gonna laugh?”

“You know I can’t promise that.”

Jake might have laughed, but it was shortly followed by a grimace. Using her body weight like they’d taught her in basic, Natasha hauled him up to stand.

“Let’s make this quick,” Jake said. Natasha winced.

“Gotcha. Bedroom or bathroom?”

Jake stayed quiet. Natasha got the hint.

-

With Hangman curled up in the bathroom for the time being, Phoenix took the opportunity to take a quick inventory of the kitchen and medicine basket on top of his refrigerator. He had Tylenol but no Advil; everything in the refrigerator was either expired, meal prepped or not useful in this situation (read: a carton of milk). She huffed, glancing over her shoulder.

“Hey Bagman, you do know what a cheat day is right?”

No response. She couldn’t blame him.

At least he had a thermometer; she’d guesstimated he had a fever but confirmation would be a good start. Finally, she located bottled water in the mostly empty pantry and she grabbed a couple to put by the couch. After a couple minutes of searching she paused in her steps when she heard the retching start again. Phoenix cursed under her breath and jogged back to the bathroom. Doordashing those missing supplies could wait.

“Jake? You good?”

“Fine,” he groaned, “just nauseous.”

He was so past the point of nauseous. Tentatively, Phoenix took a seat on the bathroom floor by his side. Her hand hovered over his shoulders for a moment, eventually making contact with his shirt when his arms came up to brace himself over the toilet.

“You know what you need?” She started after a moment. Hangman turned to glance at her over his shoulder.

“A hug?”

“A toothbrush.”

Despite the fact that Hangman was miserable as fuck and Phoenix could feel her skin starting to crawl considering the stench of puke in the room, they both snorted.

-

For the first thirty seconds of being awake, Phoenix couldn’t remember where she was or why she wasn’t in her bed. Instinctively she went to glance over her shoulder just to make sure she didn’t have someone else in her bed, only to meet the back of the couch... wait. That wasn’t her couch. It was Hangman’s. She’d crashed there after finally managing to get him into bed, promising to listen out in case he needed help in the night. By the time she’d gotten him to bed he’d brushed his teeth, had a couple sips of water and downed Tylenol, and was ready to pass out until the cycle restarted.

Sure enough; it had indeed started.

Phoenix got up, heading through Hangman’s room and into his ensuite. Crouched over the toilet, Hangman looked like he was not having a good time between the sweating, shaking, and the... y’know, the retching probably didn’t help. The offer of comfort came a lot easier to Phoenix that time, kneeling by him to calmly rub his back when he winced.

“You alright?” Phoenix asked. Hangman hummed, reaching up to wipe at his forehead.

“Killin’ me.”

“Well, work should be quiet on Monday if you’re dead. Maybe I should go, leave you to die in peace.”

“Don’t go.”

Oh. That was new.

“Sit back. I think you’re good for now.”

Phoenix reached for the face towel sitting on the end of the sink, dunked it in the water, and then handed it over.

“You and me; we take this to the grave. Clear?” She said. Jake nodded, groaning as he turned to rest his head on her shoulder. Natasha went quiet for a moment, then she checked for a fever again.

“I have an idea. Get up, asshole, I can carry you I just don’t want to.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

-

Of all the things Natasha had expected Jake to do, she didn’t even think about getting all of five minutes into the shitty late night show she’d left on low only for Jake to toss a pillow on to her lap and rest his head on it, pulling her hand into his hair.

“You good?”

“My stomach hates me more right now than it did in flight school.”

Natasha snorted in amusement, her hand remaining on his shoulder.

“If you promise not to hurl on me, you can stay there.”

He slowly drifted to sleep. Despite the fact that her thighs were probably going to die if he slept long enough to start feeling better, Phoenix figured there were worse places for him to be.

-

[techypen]

- may I please request a sickfic where Heeseung has a stomach bug & has been feeling this sick all day but no one believes him & he has to power through the day fighting how nauseous & tired he feels so he doesn’t inconvenience anyone. His girlfriend (y/n) has been too busy working on her laptop to notice he’s unwell despite Heeseungs attempts to gage her attention. He goes about his day at work with his members, dance practice, recording songs, signing albums etc until it gets really bad and everyone realizes he was being serious and he starts throwing up a lot And everyone feels bad for ignoring him and it’s all emotional and fluffy💕

⇢ ˗ˏˋ hee - sicker than you think ࿐ྂ

"HEESEUNG WAKE UP!" Jungwon shouted whilst flickering hees light on and off.

"Mhm im up" Heeseung replied whilst squinting his eyes together.

"You've got ten minutes"

"Yep, got it"

Heeseung takes himself over to his closet to find something to wear, but after a few steps a wave of nausea hits him and he looses his balance.

He took himself back to his bed and placed his head into his knees and stayed there for a while.

Jungwon pushed hees door open and he didn't seem happy at all.

"Yah, I told you ten minutes!?"

"I know, I think I'm sick" Heeseung replied whilst rubbing the side of his head.

"Heeseung please, we really don't have time for this today. Snap out of it"

Heeseung just looked up at Jungwon with his big eyes and nodded as if he wasn't about to break into tears.

He tried to make his way to his closet again this time he actually managed to choose an outfit. He got dressed as quickly as he could and made his way downstairs.

No one said anything to Heeseung, Jungwon just shared an intimidating glare whilst jay handed Heeseung his breakfast.

Heeseung just picked up his chop sticks and started to play with his food that he wasn't planning on eating because he knew it would make him feel sick, or worse be sick.

"Heeseung you're not fooling anyone" Jungwon spoke with a harsh tone in his voice.

"I-im not wait i... nevermind" Heeseung mumbled just placing his head into his hands.

"What's going on with Heeseung? Jake asked with concern in his voice.

"He's pretending to be sick to get away from our schedule today, he was completely fine yesterday" Jungwon replied giving Heeseung a death stare.

"Oh" Jake mumbled, clear concern in his voice but he didn't know who to believe.

"Ok fine I'm sorry, I'll stop" Heeseung added whilst getting up to go put his shoes on.

Everyone just watched him but naturally they all just trusted that Jungwon and believed that Heeseung was exaggerating.

Time skip the the van >>>

Heeseung was sat in between Jay and Sunghoon so he was trying to avoid showing any signs of him feeling sick, not like anyone was gonna believe him anyway.

He could feel his stomach cramping and sick making its way up the back of his throat. But at one harsh cramp he winced slightly catching Jays attention.

"Hyung this is gonna get real boring real quick" Jay muttered.

Heeseung just looked up at Jay in despair, he was certain that Jay would believe him but nope he's clearly just an inconvenience.

"Pfft is he still pretending" Niki echoed from the back of the van.

"Hmm looks like it" Sunghoon added under his breath.

Heeseung didn't say a word he just felt embarrassed and wanted to disappear at that very moment.

They finally arrived at the company for dance practice but as they were about to leave the van Jake noticed that Heeseung had fallen asleep.

"Hyung"

"Hey"

"Wake up"

Heeseung woke up confused as to why Jakes tone was soft, he didn't seem angry at all.

"Jake stop falling for it" Sunoo spoke as he was making his way out of the van.

"W-what if he's actually sick?" Jake responded giving heeseung a concerned look.

"Jake please he was completely fine yesterday sickness doesn't just spring on you out of nowhere" Sunghoon added whilst pushing Jake away from Heeseung.

"Fine but if he's actually sick though you're all gonna regret neglecting him"

Heeseung let out a slight smile does Jake believe him? No not necessarily but on the bright side he isn't completely in denial about him being sick.

As they where all making their way to the dance practice room Heeseung started to feel sick making its way up his throat.

"I'm gonna use the bathroom quickly" He spoke whilst practically running to reach the bathroom in time.

No one said anything he got completely blanked by all his members, but honestly that was the least of his worries right now.

He reached the bathroom and before he could even take a breath a gush of hot liquid came from his mouth and into the toilet. His stomach was cramping uncontrollably and all he wanted was someone to be there with him.

The sick kept coming up for a good 15 minutes until it calmed down into a spell of dry heaving.

Once he was finished he leaned back to the wall with his arms around his stomach trying to relieve the pain.

He stayed like that for a while but he knew his members were gonna be pissed if he took any longer, So he braved the pain and got himself up to glance at himself in the mirror.

"I look like a mess" he thought to himself.

His eyes were puffy, his skin was the pale and on top of that he couldn't stop sweating.

With that he took himself out of the bathroom and trailed his way to the dance practice room, whilst mentally preparing himself for the scolding he is about to receive from the members.

"Hyung don't say a word" Jungwon spoke harshly as Heeseung made his way through the door.

"What are you playing at seriously you know we don't have long until our comeback and your acting like a child" Niki added whilst looking Heeseung up and down.

"I'm sorry i-i was... you know what it doesn't matter"

"Can someone please tell me how many times this man has said sorry today and proceeded to do the same thing over and over!?!!" Jay spoke slowly making his tone louder and louder.

"Jay calm down, we're all frustrated with him but try to let it go for now we need to practice and not let him get in the way" Sunoo said whilst patting Jays shoulder.

"Your right, heeseung just get in to formation we're about to start" Jay replied avoiding all eye contact with the sick boy.

After a while to music was starting to make Heeseungs head ache and the lights were burning his eyes. He needed this to be over asap.

"Heeseung wrong foot"

"Your supposed to go that way"

"Yeah that's fine just bump into Sunghoon while your at it"

No matter how hard Heeseung tried he couldn't do anything right. He was dizzy, tired and still felt like he was about to throw up.

"Yano what that's enough for today we still have a photoshoot to attend later" Jungwon mentioned completely oblivious to the state Heeseung was in.

Time skip back to the dorms >>>

All the members where making their way through the entrance of their dorms but Heeseung had a wave of nausea hit him which made him fall into Jake.

"Ahh fuck" Heeseung muttered whilst gripping his stomach.

"Bro what the fuck is going on" Jake responded not having a clue wether Heeseung was actually sick or not

"I-it hurts jake" the older responded clear tears falling from his cheeks.

"Hees-"

Before Jake could even finish his sentence, Sunghoon was standing in the door way with a dull expression on his face.

"Your joking" Sunghoon spoke whilst letting out a slight laugh.

"Yeah he's being dramatic again" Jake responded he kinda felt guilty but he was just going along with the majority.

"Surprise, surprise" Sunghoon muttered under his breath.

Jake and Sunghoon both went inside and left Heeseung alone on the door step. Jake honestly felt terrible he was just hoping that Heeseung was just acting...

Around 10 minutes later Heeseung got himself up but he refused to go back in the dorm so he took himself over to his girlfriends place.

"Atleast she'll be there for me" he thought to himself.

"Y/n, it's me" Heeseung spoke with his voice about to break.

"Hee love im kinda busy right now" y/n spoke staring into her laptop"

"Oh uh can I come sit with you"

"Sure, try not to distract me tho I'm doing stuff for work" y/n replied without lifting her head up once"

"I won't" Heeseung added with clear sadness in his voice.

Heeseung just sat down next to y/n, he really wanted to tell her how bad his day has been but he didn't want to be an inconvenience.

Not long after he had sat down his cramps started back up again. He just placed his hand on his stomach and proceeded to breathe heavily.

Part of him was kinda hoping y/n would notice, but she didn't at all.

"Love I've gotta go back I have a photo shoot soon, talk to you soon... yeah?"

"Alright hee, have fun" y/n responded sounding completely lifeless.

Heeseung felt like everyone was against him, usually when he's sick y/n notices straight away but she didn't even bat an eye.

The sick boy arrived back at the dorms and he was met with 6 furious looking members.

"Where have you been" Jungwon asked not showing any signs of sympathy.

"I went to y/n place" Heeseung replied with no confidence in his voice.

"You can't be that sick if you were willing to go to her place" Jay mumbled unimpressed with the situation.

"Yeah hyung you were just practically passed out in my arms and you just got up and went to y/n place? Maybe you are lying" Jake added giving heeseung a look of disappointment.

"You know what? Maybe I am lying... is that what you want to hear? Are you all happy now?!?" Heeseung spoke nearly tearing up knowing how much his members hate him right now.

"I KNEW IT" Jungwon belted across the room.

"Bro just don't talk to any of us for a while" Niki added whilst putting his coat on.

"See I Said he was childish" Jay replied sniggering at the sick boy.

Heeseung was broken, he really had to make out that all this was a lie just because no body believed him.

Time skip to photo shoot >>>

Everyone arrived at the photo shoot destination no one has said a word to Heeseung in the last two hours, it's all just been random death stares back and forth.

They all did their individual shots which took up the majority of the time they had. But coming towards the end they had the group shots, which none of them were looking forward too.

Heeseung was a mess to say the least, he was hoping that he could get through the rest of the day without any more pain but as time went on he knew that wasn't gonna be the case.

"Alright guys!! Time for the group shots" the photographer shouted trying to grab all the members attention.

The members all huddled in to the positions that they where told to stand in. But Heeseung was starting to have a hard time, and that didn't go unmissed by the photographer.

"Heeseung is everything ok?"

"I don't feel good" Heeseung responded whilst struggling to stay up on two feet.

Within seconds Heeseung came crashing to the floor and threw up all over himself.

"SHIT HYUNG" Jay shouted as he made his way to comfort the sick boy"

"I fucking told you guys but no one listened" Jake added scolding all the members.

Jay had Heeseung in his arms and the rest of the members were crowded around.

"It h-hurts" Heeseung spoke whilst crying and resting his head on Jays chest.

"Shh I know where gonna get you sorted don't worry" Jay responded whilst rubbing Heeseungs stomach.

"Hyung im so sorry i didnt believe you in the first place... none of this would have happened if I just listened" Jungwon said whilst crying into Sunoos arm.

"Jay what's happening to him!?!?" Niki asked because he could slowly see Heeseungs consciousness slipping.

"Shit he's gonna be fine we need to get him home as quick as we can though"

Time skip back at the dorm >>>

Heeseung had been out on the couch for about two hours and none of the members left his side.

"Guys do you think I should call y/n" Jake asked knowing how much heeseung means to her.

"Yeah just so she's aware what's gone on" Sunghoon added.

Phone call

"Hey y/n its Jake"

"Oh hii!! what's wrong?"

"Was Hee at your place earlier?"

"Oh yeah he came around but I was busy with work so he didn't say much"

"Well I- uh well"

"Spit it out silly"

"Heeseung was very sick and none of us really believed him, and he pretty much collapsed on me before he came to yours"

"Your kidding WTF I knew something seemed off, so your telling me he came here because you lot weren't listening to him and then I completely blanked him coz I was busy!?!"

"Pretty much... but we're taking good care of him now and we won't let it happen again"

"Ugh ffs Jake just tell him to call me when he comes around"

"Will do"

"Alright bye Jake"

"Bye y/n"

Call ended

[angstyaches]

Payton Gets Spiked

Loosely inspired by reading this post.

If you want more of an introduction to Dani, read this first.

CW: gender stuff, dysphoria, misgendering, brief mention of gendered bathroom dilemma, intense social anxiety, people with varying shitty opinions, spiking with alcohol, references to past binge drinking/alcohol dependency, low self esteem, emeto, crying, panicking, insecure/awkward caretaker.

Word Count: almost 8,000 - oops. If you finish this to the end, you're a real one.

___

“Alright, Dani! I’m just heading out back... to...”  

It was fifteen minutes after the coffee shop had closed, night had settled in on the streets outside, and Payton had just finished closing the till. It should have been the most glorious moment of their day, the moment just before their time became their own again and they could bask in the knowledge that they’d done a great day’s work, but that reward was stolen by the swooping sensation in their stomach. Their day wasn’t over just yet. 

They’d been in the middle of calling out to Dani, who had been assigned the closing shift alongside them, to tell her that they were heading out back to get changed.

But they stopped themself. 

Dani was engrossed with sweeping the floors to the beat of whatever she was listening to on her headphones. Payton decided to leave her to it. She didn’t like being interrupted in the middle of a task, as Payton had quickly learned during her first few weeks here. 

And besides, it wasn’t as though Payton was in a hurry to get to the pub, where, if the group chat was anything to go by, the others had already convened. The longer Payton could delay being wedged into a dimly-lit nook surrounded by the smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke from the 80s, the better. 

Guilt gnawed at them now, along with the nerves. They shouldn’t be dreading Jake’s birthday; they liked Jake. He deserved to have people coming to his birthday drinks who were excited to be there. 

Payton went out back and stood in front of their locker.

They closed their eyes, allowing their mind to wind down after their shift. They stretched their arms out to the side and breathed in, slowly and deeply letting their lungs press out against their ribs. They didn’t feel particularly compressed, but they’d gotten into the habit of doing breathing exercises regularly while binding – in no small part to keep Autumn from worrying about them. 

They undid their apron and pulled their polo shirt off over their head. They opened up their locker to grab the cropped purple hoodie they’d brought to change into for the evening. Payton didn’t usually partake in the loungewear look unless they were grocery shopping or travelling or chilling out at home, but Jake had requested that nobody ‘dress up nice’ tonight.  

Before picking up the hoodie, Payton glanced down at themself, their sides bare above their waistband. Now that they thought about it, they wished they had worn dungarees instead of cargo pants today. Not for any reason they could put their finger on, which was frustrating. They just had the vague, hollow feeling in the pit of their stomach that they would have felt fifty times better about themself if they’d been wearing dungarees. 

They sucked in another deep breath, this time to try to soothe the flare of anxiety. 

Their phone screen lit up with a message, and they snatched it up from the shelf in their locker.  

A: Finished work yet? X 

Payton grinned. The simplest check-ins from Autumn always made their heart flutter. 

P: Finished!!! x 

A: You've got someone to walk over to the bar with you, right? X 

P: Yep, Dani and I are sticking together, don’t worry! <3 x 

A: Awesome! Have fun tonight, baby x 

Payton kind of wished they’d insisted that Autumn come along tonight, but as far as they knew, nobody else was bringing their partner, so they would have felt a little awkward making themself the exception. Besides, it was good for Payton to get out there and be independent every so often. 

And it made Autumn worry less. 

P: I will x 

A: Message me when you get home x 

They glanced over their shoulder as Dani came into the changing room.  

She didn’t have her headphones on anymore, but she was humming to herself as she walked. Not in a gleeful kind of way; she hummed intensely, as though her sanity depended on whether or not she hit each individual note. She went straight over to her locker, disappearing from Payton’s line of sight, but Payton didn’t hear her open it. 

They put their phone in their pocket and reached into their locker for their hoodie. 

“Does that hurt?” 

Payton looked over their shoulder again – Dani was looking at them – and then down at their torso. They were still standing there in just their black cargo pants and their binder. It hadn’t really occurred to them that they were topless, but they supposed they were.  

“Sorry,” Dani said bluntly, mistaking their embarrassment for offence. “Was that rude?” 

“It’s fine,” Payton smiled. “And no, as long as I don’t wear it for too long, it doesn’t hurt.” 

Dani blinked. For a second, Payton considered that she might have been working up to asking a follow-up question. 

“Okay,” she said instead, turning to open her locker. 

The two of them finished getting ready without talking any more. Dani didn’t actually change her clothes; she just swapped her apron for a baggy grey zip-up hoodie that she didn’t zip up. She had already been wearing dark blue jeans and a graphic tee, even though the dress code for staff members was black trousers and block-coloured tops. Dani would never have paraded that outfit in front of Annie or Jake; she must have kept in mind, while getting dressed that morning, that Payton was supervising today.  

They weren’t sure how this realisation made them feel. Was it a sign of disrespect that she only challenged the rules on their watch? Or was a good thing that she felt comfortable being herself with them? 

Anxiety spiked in Payton’s stomach again. The last thing they wanted was for the newer staff members to dread the sight of them, or watch how they acted around them, but it was also in their nature to be a pushover, and they hated to think they were falling into old habits.  

They smiled as they gestured for Dani to step out of the shop before them. Not because they were being a pushover, but so that they could set the alarm, lock up, and then check twice to make sure that the door was actually locked.  

It soothed them a little as they stood outside and peered through the glass into the dark shop, sure in the knowledge that nothing was left out of place. Annie was on the opening shift tomorrow, and Payton would rather not get any passive aggressive text messages about crumbs on the floor or lights left on before 9am. 

They turned away from the shop. Dani was rocking back and forth with the balls of her feet on the edge of the path as she waited for them.  

Payton’s stomach dropped all over again as they observed her in the streetlight. Had the two of them ever even interacted outside of the shop before? 

 Despite their promise to Autumn, Payton realised they had kind of hoped that Dani would start walking by herself while they locked up, getting enough of a head start so that they wouldn’t have to make conversation. They liked Dani as a person but they didn’t have a friendly banter like Payton did with Paul, and Dani didn’t talk the ear off anyone who would listen like Rachel did. 

“You’re opening with Annie tomorrow, right?” Payton asked as they both started walking. They immediately cringed. Defaulting to talking about work had to have been the laziest, most cowardly option. 

“Yeah,” Dani said. Her tone might have indicated that she’d rather have all of her wisdom teeth pulled at once. It also might have indicated that opening the shop with Annie was her favourite activity of all time. Payton had no idea which was closer to the truth. 

“I... like your t-shirt, by the way.” It’d taken them several glances throughout the day, since the print was faded in parts, but they’d deduced that it was from some horror movie or another.  

“It’s vintage.”  

“Oh, really?” Payton thought that maybe they’d be treated to the story of how it’d come to be in her possession. 

Dani tugged at the headphones that were still sitting around her neck. “I’m putting my headphones back on. For the traffic noise.” 

“Oh, okay,” Payton smiled. Since they’d come outside, only about six cars had passed them by, but they weren’t about to point that out. If Dani didn’t want to talk, that was fine. They were still walking together. That was one promise to Autumn locked in. 

Now for the second one, which filled them with a little more dread; to have a fun night. 

___ 

The group was still lingering by the bar when Payton and Dani arrived.  

The store owner and manager, Annie, stood with one arm across her chest and what looked like a gin and tonic in her hand. She was chatting – probably about one of her husband’s recent business ventures – to Jake, whose cheeks were bright red and whose pint of cider had almost run out.  

Rachel was perched on a bar stool, swinging herself gently from side to side as she nursed a Coke-based drink. Paul seemed to be in the middle of telling her a story; judging by the bittersweet smile that played on his lips, and the way Rachel seemed to be completely tuning him out, Payton guessed Paul was talking about Mei, the girl who’d recently broken up with him.  

I know way too much about these people, Payton thought with a wry smile to themself. 

It was Paul who spotted them first, which brought his story to a halt. 

“Hey, boss!” he cheered, shuffling towards Payton and scooping them into a quick but tight hug. They forced a smile despite their surprise, hugging him back. They’d last seen him at the coffee shop yesterday, but he was acting as though it’d been months. 

“Welcome! And Dani!” Paul grinned at her as she stood to Payton’s left. “Oh – don’t worry, I’m not going to try to hug you. Learned my lesson on that one. Come on, come over here! What are you guys drinking?” 

“I’ve got it, Paul, don’t worry,” Payton assured him. He was drunk enough that he’d probably buy a round for everyone and forget he’d done it, which Payton would rather save him from. They reckoned they should buy Jake’s next drink, seeing as it was his birthday. And Dani seemed tense – either from the walk outside, or from the Paul hug she'd been temporarily threatened by – so they decided to offer to get her first one, too. 

“Dani?” Payton tilted their head when Dani didn’t look at them; she still had her headphones on. They waved their hand gently to get her attention. 

She dragged her gaze around to look at them, and they gestured bringing a glass to their mouth. Drink? 

“Bulmers,” she announced loudly. 

Payton nodded and turned, waving to get Jake’s attention this time. He beamed when he saw them, and Payton pointed towards the near-empty glass in his hand. 

“Bulmers!” he called over the din, winking his thanks behind his thick-rimmed glasses. 

Payton smiled at the bartender and ordered the two pints of Bulmers, plus a Coke for themself. The others started making their way towards a booth. Dani stayed near the bar, not talking to or looking directly at Payton. She was making them think of an anxious stray cat who didn’t trust any of the humans present, but had decided that Payton was the least untrustworthy of them all. 

Guilt churned their stomach at that silly assumption. She was clearly just waiting politely for her drink, so Payton wouldn’t be left with three glasses to carry.  

She thanked them for her drink as it came out. Payton smiled at her and took their own glass, plus Jake’s pint, over to the table. 

Annie and Jake had slid into the booth first, on opposite sides of the table, followed by Paul on Jake’s side and Rachel on Annie’s side. Payton would have preferred – just slightly – to sit beside Paul rather than Rachel, but Dani had already slid into the booth next to Paul by the time they’d decided this. 

“Here you go, Jake,” Payton said, handing the Bulmers across the table. They were momentarily relieved to be free of the heavy, sickly smell of it, but as soon as they sat down, they were hit by the equally pungent scent of vodka wafting from Rachel’s glass. First, it made their head swim, and then their stomach lurched. Just the smell of it made them feel like their thought process was being scrambled.  

They were seated for a few seconds before realising that all six of them were leaving wet rings on the tabletop. 

“Oh! Coasters,” Payton said, relieved for the excuse to get away from the vodka smell for another few seconds. They stood up again. 

Rachel squinted up at them, shaking her head. “Genuine question, Payton; do you ever switch out of work mode?”  

Payton gave her a smile, wondering how many more they’d have to force before they became relaxed enough for a genuine one. “Yes. Sometimes.” 

They started back towards the bar. The smile slid from their face and their stomach took a dive towards the floor as they heard Annie’s voice from behind them. 

“Where’s Payton going, Rachel?” she asked.  

Except... 

She didn’t say Payton’s name, and she didn’t say ‘they’ either.  

They pressed a hand to their chest and breathed in slowly through their nose. Misgendering didn’t always get to them like this, but hearing it from someone they spent so much time around felt like a punch to the gut after already enduring so, so many. They tried to force down the throbbing sensation, which was like a scream that was rising to their heart instead of their throat.  

They were probably the first trans person Annie had ever met, and they’d always known they’d have to be patient with her. It was either that, or lose their mind, and in this economy, one couldn’t afford to lose their mind at work every other day.  

But breaking their chronic people-pleasing habits was hard when this was a constant issue. Correcting people didn’t come naturally to Payton, and on the few occasions where they did correct someone, the weight of the guilt they felt afterwards was almost just as bad. 

And guilt wasn’t a compatible companion for self-love. 

___ 

“Oh... getting coasters or something,” Rachel had responded to Annie’s question. 

Dani blinked, baffled by what she'd just heard. Had she missed something? Who the hell were they talking about? Payton had just left to get coasters; they had announced that, right before Rachel’s snide remark about how they always seemed to be working. Had Rachel misunderstood Annie’s question, then? Was there some conversation happening that Dani hadn’t –? 

Oh.  

White noise swelled in Dani’s ears for a couple of seconds. She squeezed one of the beads on her bracelet and focused on keeping her breathing steady. 

Say it, she screamed in her head, tugging at her bracelet, They. Where did they go? They went to get coasters. Just freaking say it! 

But judging by the murmurs of continued conversations, Dani the moment had passed for her to say anything to fix Annie’s mistake. She found herself equally frustrated with Rachel, who could also have corrected Annie, or at least used Payton’s pronouns in her response. 

Through the fog of irritation, Dani became aware of Paul, who was sitting to Dani’s right, handing something to Rachel, who was sitting at the other side of the table. Rachel took whatever it was and whispered harshly in Paul’s direction. 

Dani gripped her bracelet harder, resisting the urge to yank her headphones up. She fucking hated the sound of whispers, but she knew if she put her headphones on now, she’d have to deal with eye rolls at best, and verbal lecturing at worst. 

A dull clink brought her back into the moment, and she looked up to see Rachel running her finger through a streak of clear liquid that had been spilled on the table in front of her. Rachel put that finger in her mouth – yikes, gross – and grinned as she handed something back to Paul. 

A naggin of vodka, Dani realised. In blatant disregard for the no outside food or beverages request that was posted at several points around the pub, Paul had brought shop-bought alcohol into the establishment, and now Rachel was availing of it, too. This night was shaping up to be even more overwhelming than she’d expected.  

And they hadn’t even gotten around to singing ‘Happy Birthday’ yet. 

___ 

The bartender looked up from where they had not-so-subtly been checking their phone behind the counter. Payton flashed them a smile of apology and gestured towards the case of paper coasters. They counted out six and wandered back over to the table, sucking in a deep breath before they were once again submerged in the smell of vodka, cider, and the risk of being misgendered. 

“Are we going to sing Happy Birthday?” Payton wasn’t sure when Dani had taken off her headphones, but before she’d even taken a sip of her drink, she seemed to have shed her inhibitions. She was speaking now, at least. “Because if we are, you should all know that I am going to have to stick my fingers in my ears.” 

Rachel sighed, Paul took a pointed swig of his drink, and Jake half-chuckled as though he was unsure if Dani was joking or not. Payton had the feeling she was not. 

Rachel begrudgingly slid a coaster under her drink as Payton passed them around, but not before using it to mop up a long smear of clear liquid from the table. Payton didn’t remember noticing it, but maybe there had been a dribble of water there when they’d sat down. 

“And also –” Oh – Dani wasn’t finished apparently. Payton tried to cast her their most sympathetic look, but her eyes were focused on the tabletop, not on any person in particular. “If there’s going to be a billion rounds of for he’s a jolly good fellow afterwards, can you all just please tell me now? I’m not, like, opposed to it or anything, but I would like to know in advance.” 

“Oh, god. Can I ask that we… not do any of that?” A nervous grin spread across Jake’s face. “I hate Happy Birthday and all that stuff, honestly. Especially in public places.” 

“Ah, come on, it’s a bit of fun,” Rachel muttered, clicking her tongue. 

Payton caught Jake’s eye and smiled to reassure him. “How about a toast instead, then, Jake? Just a short one.” 

Jake met their gaze and matched their smile. “That, I can endure, P.” 

“Oh! Me. Me, I’ll do it. Can I do it, boss?” Paul exclaimed, as though it was Payton’s job to delegate the task. He hoisted his beer into the air, glanced around at the others, and cleared his throat dramatically. “Aheh-hem!” 

“Remember, Paul. Short and sweet now, for the love of god,” Jake grinned. 

“Happy birthday... to the best senior assistant manager, and, of course, the owner of the best beard in town – Jake. You might be ginger...” 

Jake feigned a scoff and put a hand to his hair and beard. 

“But we bloody love you, you legend!” Paul waved his glass. “Cheers!” 

“Cheers!” everyone agreed. 

“Slainte,” Annie tossed in. 

After taking a drink from their glass, Payton gasped forcefully, and took another. They were far thirstier than they’d realised, and ending up gulping down half their Coke before making themself stop. They'd had a glass of water at lunchtime today, but barely anything to drink since then. No wonder there was a funny taste in their mouth. Possible dehydration might explain why they felt especially on edge this evening, too. 

They grimaced, holding a hand against their sternum and suppressing a burp. That was a lot of carbonation to force down all at once, but they weren’t about to relieve the pressure in front of all of their coworkers.  

“Here.” Annie was flapping her fingers in the direction of Jake’s phone, which sat next to his elbow. “Give me your phone, Jake. I’ll get a picture of you, Paul, and the girls.” 

Nausea and Coke residue fizzled in the back of Payton’s throat. They parted their lips, hands trembling on either side of their glass as they prepared to correct Annie, but the fear that curdled their stomach also put a clamp on their tongue. What did they even want to her to say? Paul and Payton and the girls? Paul and the others? Just the others?  

Anything that didn’t lump them into a group they didn’t belong to would have been nice. 

They shivered at the familiar sensation of the moment passing, of another wound officially taking up residence in their body. Autumn would be so disappointed if she could see them right now. 

“And Payton.”  

Payton’s ears practically pricked up like those of a cartoon dog. They looked across the table to see that Dani was looking vaguely in Annie’s direction, her hands fidgeting with something underneath the table. Her lips were mashed together, her eyebrows tense, and she definitely the one who had just mumbled those words under their breath. 

A little bit of the sick feeling in Payton’s stomach dissipated. Annie hadn’t heard, but... just knowing that someone else at the table had clocked the mistake made them feel infinitely less lonely at this table. 

Annie stood up, wielding Jake’s phone, and Payton felt a resurgence of queasiness.  

“Alright,” Annie declared, “lean in, everyone, lean in. Dani, lean in, please! Thank you. Alright, good…” 

In the last few seconds, Payton pulled the clear plastic clip out of their hair, letting their bangs fall loose over one side of their face. They held up a hand in a peace sign to partially obscure their jawline on the other side. They almost retched as they followed Annie’s instructions and leaned in; there was a stronger smell wafting from Rachel’s drink than before, if that was even possible.  

Payton could almost imagine they could taste it, it was so thick in the air. God, they really didn’t feel well... 

“Say cheese!” 

“Cheese!!” 

Payton sighed softly in relief when Annie sat back down, satisfied with just the one picture. Payton didn’t hate a lot of things, but they really didn’t like spontaneous photos taken on other peoples’ phones. Jake wasn’t a big social media guy, so maybe that one would never see the light of day anyway. 

They took another mouthful of their Coke, hoping to wash away some of the bad taste in their mouth, but it only seemed to make it... worse? They brought the rim of the glass to their nose and sniffed, and then recoiled so fast that they almost fell out of the booth. The glass skidded a few centimetres across the table but, miraculously, didn’t tip over. 

Dani jumped in her seat and made the closest thing to eye contact that she’d made with Payton since they’d left work. “What? What? Is it a spider?” 

The whole room felt like it was tipping on its side. Payton wasn't just imagining they could taste the alcohol because of the strong smell; they were actually tasting it in their mouth. There was alcohol in their drink, and they had gulped down more than half of it... As they sat there, struggling to wrap their head around how this could have happened, it was inside of them, sloshing in their stomach, swirling into their capillaries, messing with their brain – 

Sweat beaded on the back of Payton’s neck. 

This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening – 

“Payton,” Dani said loudly. “What. Is. Wrong?” 

“N-no...” they whimpered, not caring that no didn’t make sense on its own. The only thing they could feel was the feeling of no, and with it came the heady weight of memories that weren’t supposed to be a part of them anymore.  

They felt all alone again, like they were being slowly sucked into a pit of darkness. 

“Th-they messed up my – m-my drink.” Sharp gasps littered Payton’s speech, and they couldn’t get a good sense of how loudly they were talking. They... couldn’t even feel angry. Not yet. Maybe they never would; messing up drinks was an inevitability for any establishment. Payton had once served full-fat milk to a lady who’d requested skimmed, and by the time they had realised their mistake, she’d already left with her latte. They still had nightmares about her coming back, months later, to complain. 

But this was different, right? This was… 

Dani wrinkled up her nose and leaned towards Payton’s glass to sniff it. 

“I think there – there’s vod... vodka in it... N-no,” Payton said again, the word bursting on their lips like a giant blister. This was how it always used to start. With a ‘no’. No, no, not this, this can’t be real, this isn’t real. 

When had it gotten so hot in here? 

Dani put her whole hand around Payton’s glass, eyeing the bar. “You want me to go yell at someone?” 

“No, no, no, don’t,” Rachel hissed, leaning conspiratorially towards the centre of the table. It seemed that she only wanted Payton, Dani, and Paul to be able to hear her. Her urgency made Payton stiffen. “Will you relax, for Christ’s sake, Dani? Payton, I took a few mouthfuls of your drink and topped it up with Paul’s vodka. I didn’t know you were such a lightweight!” 

Payton’s head swam as they looked at Rachel’s face, searching in her green eyes for any indication that she joking. Her face was bronzed and freckled from all the field hockey she played, and they seemed to shift about nauseatingly in front of Payton’s eyes. She... she had to have been joking, right? Nobody would admit to something like that. Besides, they’d been with their drink since they’d bought it; when would she have had the time to –? 

Coasters.  

Payton had put their drink on the table and then gone back to the bar for the coasters. She must have done it then. Their body stiffened as they remembered the clear liquid spill on the table. 

“Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen you drunk, boss,” Paul half-laughed. The fact that Paul was seemingly in on this too, or was in support of it, at least, only piled onto Payton’s horror, but they’d have to process that later. 

“Th-that’s because I...” Payton’s voice was trembling. “I-I’m... I’m sober.” 

The grin started to slip from Paul’s face, but Rachel didn’t seem to grasp what Payton meant. 

She shrugged. “But it’s not like you’re driving home. And you’re off tomorrow, aren’t you? So, what harm?” 

“No, I mean I haven’t… I haven’t h-had any alcohol in…” Payton’s lucidity spiked briefly, long enough for them to experience the stab of grief that hit their gut. “About two and... a half years.” 

“Oh, on purpose?” Paul asked weakly. 

“Yeah.” 

Paul half-chuckled, his energy levels dropping noticeably. Next to him, Dani looked like she was witnessing a train crash in slow motion but couldn’t bring herself to move. Payton couldn’t bear to look at Rachel. 

“But it’s not, like… that serious or anything, is it?” Paul pressed. 

“Is it Alcoholics Anonymous serious?” Dani questioned, as though that were the qualifying factor. “Like in the movies, with the chairs, and the free coffee, and the…?”  

She trailed off, gleaning her answer from Payton’s expression.  

“It was Rachel’s idea!” Paul complained. “She did it!” 

“What’s going on?” Annie demanded suddenly, only tuning into the conversation now that Paul had started raising his voice. 

Rachel half-stood up in the booth and pointed at Paul. “You agreed with me, dickhead!” 

“Yeah, well, I didn’t know...” 

“Neither did I!” 

Their voices faded into an echoing clamour. Payton felt so detached from their body that they wondered if they were having an attack of some kind. They’d had barely a few mouthfuls of vodka and Coke. Why did it feel like their stomach was on fire, forcing its way up their throat? Why did their whole body feel like jelly? Back in the day, it had taken so... so much more.  

Had they gone so long without alcohol that they’d developed an allergy? Were they dying? After all of their work, were their last thoughts going to be swamped in dread and despair and drunkenness? 

They didn’t know if it was wooziness or generalised terror that made their knees buckle as they tried to get out of the booth, but either way, Payton crashed to the floor, just about keeping a shaky grip on the edge of the table above. They weren’t sure where they were trying to go. They couldn’t even remember deciding to get up. 

A hollow, desperate sob racked their ribs. Their stomach was lurching like an injured, frantic rabbit in a trap.  

No... 

Lucidity came in flashes again. Were they really hyperventilating on the floor, in front of their co-workers and their employer? Were they really making a scene at Jake’s birthday party? Were... were those Dani’s stockinged feet, resting on the floor next to her chunky Doc Marten boots? 

Payton shook their head. They had to get away from here. That seemed fairly rational, no matter which they looked at it. 

They started clambering upright. The sight of Dani reaching out to give them a hand up made them snap out of their panicked daze just slightly. They straightened their back and mumbled something to reassure her they were fine, they were good, they didn’t need any help –  

They heard Rachel ask them something, and they ignored her. They ignored her on purpose – it felt terrible, but they couldn’t bring themself to react any other way – and raced for the bathrooms with tears streaming down their face. 

___ 

Dani was only vaguely ashamed of her first thought after watching Payton bolting towards the back of the pub. 

If someone at a small party has a breakdown, is that it? Can the party officially be declared ruined? Is it fair game for me to just... slip out? There were enough hours left in the night that she could probably squeeze in a few hours of Overwatch before going to sleep. 

She flinched. Voices were being raised at the table again, which only made her want to leave even faster. No one was yelling at her, but her cells reacted as though they were. Her nerves felt like they were being twisted, twisted, twisted, until – 

“You agreed with me!” Rachel hissed at Paul, much to Annie’s apparent dismay. “You said it’d be good for her!”  

... Snap. 

“It’s ‘they’!” A wave of dizziness hit Dani right in the face. Rachel and Paul and Annie and Jake all stared at her, and Dani’s stomach wobbled. Oh, stars. How loudly had she spoken? 

Rachel groaned. “What?” 

“They.” Dani felt out of breath as she reached for a bead on her bracelet and squeezed it between her fingertips. “Payton’s pronouns are they/them.” 

“Payton’s... not even here, Dani,” Paul said softly. 

“It doesn’t matter! You can’t call them anything else.” 

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Annie interrupted, though she didn’t sound sorry in the least. It was the kind of ‘sorry’ that really meant I have the right to speak and I shall continue to do so, even if I don’t have any idea what I’m speaking about.  

Dani hated people who said ‘sorry’ like that, even more than she hated whisperers. 

“But ’can’t’?” Annie went on, cocking an eyebrow at Dani. “It’s not very tolerant to go around telling people what they can and can’t say, Danielle.” 

Danielle?! White noise clogged Dani’s ears again. 

“I swear,” Annie said, shaking her head. “It’s always a morality contest with your generation. It is just –” 

“Dani,” Dani grunted. “My name is Dani!” 

“Do not speak over me.” 

“You spoke over me first!” Dani’s voice turned into a squawk towards the end. Shit, shit, shit. “And I was talking to Rachel before, not to you. Do you even know what she di–?” 

“You’re going to have to lower your voice.” Rachel laughed without mirth as she glanced around the pub. It was as if she herself hadn’t just been practically shouting at Paul across the table. “People are starting to look at us now.” 

Dani’s head burned. She slammed a hand on the table. “I don’t care.” 

Paul put out a hand, as though he was going to put it on her shoulder to calm her down. She flinched, jerking away from him in her seat, and he seemed to think better of it.  

“Dani,” Jake said, tilting his head to see her from the other side of Paul. Jake was one of the more reasonable people left at the table, and his round face and thick beard gave him a soothing, teddy bear-like appearance, but Dani still didn’t trust that he wasn’t just talking down to her. Like she was a child having a tantrum. “Let’s talk this out, okay? What did Rachel do?” 

“She… she…” Dani stopped pinching her beads and pointed across the table – not at Rachel, but at Annie. What Rachel did was significant, yes, but several things were screeching at Dani from inside her head, and Rachel’s thing wasn’t screeching the loudest right now.  

“She said our generation is having a morality contest,” Dani said. “You’re upset about it, Annie, so that must mean... mean that you think you’re losing, and if that’s what you think –” She was getting out of breath. Too many words, too few seconds. “Then – then you must see that I’m being more moral than you, so you know there’s something wrong with what you're saying.” 

Annie didn’t say anything in response. 

Victory flashed briefly and hotly through Dani’s veins.  

So... why did she feel like she was seconds away from crying? She wasn’t a child; she wasn’t about to be reprimanded by a parent or a teacher for speaking her mind. She was an adult. She could make her own choices, and –  

Oh, right. She’d just pointed at and then yelled at her boss. She’d probably just thrown away the only day job she’d ever found bearable, as well as the only co-worker she’d ever genuinely liked. 

Ah, crabs. Payton. How had it taken her so long so get around to worrying about Payton? 

“Oh,” Dani announced, sliding out of the booth. She realised too late that she had taken her boots off, but it didn’t seem dignified to sit down again to put them back on. She looked Rachel square in the eye – for about half a second. Then, she lowered her gaze towards Payton’s glass. “Rachel put alcohol in Payton’s drink without them knowing.” 

“You sat there,” Rachel choked out softly, “and said nothing, Dani!” There were tears in her eyes now, her face pale with terror.  

Throat tight, hands trembling, and shoeless, Dani got up and went looking for Payton. 

___ 

Payton had thought they’d need to force a finger or two down their throat to start emptying their stomach of the unexpected poison, but it turned out that their tolerance was low enough – or their panic high enough – for their body to begin rejecting it all by itself.  

The force of the first heave had their ribs pitching inwards, their belly muscles folding in on themselves. A strangled cry came rolling out of their throat along with a mouthful of frothy vomit, and it took everything in their power not to let the crying continue. 

No... 

They... they had cried so much back then. They had cursed and screamed and roared like they were trying to invoke some god to come and release them from the pain that they didn’t have the words to describe. No words except no. They had always told themself that they didn’t know why they cried and shouted so much when they were intoxicated, but deep down, they realised that had always been a lie. 

It was because they didn’t think it mattered. Whether they were stone-cold sober and coherent, or black-out drunk with vomit and snot dripping down their face, nobody listened to them or took them seriously. At least when they were drunk, they could make noise and act like an ass and convince themself that it was okay, that it was only to be expected, that they were free of the consequences. 

All of it a lie. 

No. 

The tingling in their limbs felt like phantom tentacles reaching up from a dark pit, pulling and sucking them under – 

Payton’s belly curdled and they spewed harshly into the toilet. They let out a dry sob that nearly ripped their lungs loose. All those years, all that work, all those miles between their past haunts and their current life... and they were back here. A different pub in a different city, but still the same old them. Hours of therapy; long, honest conversations with Autumn about their past; all those times Autumn had taken their face in her hands, tears in her eyes, and told them she was proud of them.  

All of it was washed away in less than fifteen minutes. 

Because it was pointless, wasn’t it? The thing they had once drank to escape – the helpless knowledge that nobody was listening to them – was still very much real. It lived inside them, keeping them small, keeping them polite, keeping them trapped as the pathetic, useless teenager who was never good enough... 

No...  

Annie’s constant criticism of the little things Payton did differently at the shop; the way Dani bent the uniform rules, only during Payton’s shifts; Donnacha... Donnacha’s outright refusal to listen to Payton’s side of the story when it came to their relationship with Autumn – 

“No,” Payton whimpered, gripping the sides of the toilet with both hands. The thought of Autumn finding out about this made their soul feel like it was withering. Something slipped up their throat – a belch, a sob, a hiccup?  

Even though their stomach had been completely vacated, the lingering smell and taste of the vodka kept their insides twisting and writhing. They wanted to hug their aching belly, but they had no hands left to do it. They were shaking, wilting against the toilet bowl like a dying flower; they’d surely headbutt the porcelain if they let go.  

Frantic heartbeats assaulted their eardrums. They could barely see, barely breathe, barely... barely believe this was happening.  

No. 

___ 

Dani was glaring at two stick figures – one with their legs spread, the other with their feet together under a knee-length dress – and having a crisis.  

Why were gendered bathrooms even a thing? Cubicle stalls existed for privacy. Lesbians and gay men existed, who used the bathrooms of the biological sex they were attracted to. Besides that, people who were inclined to trespass would and could do so, regardless of whatever little plaque was stuck outside of it. She found it hard to believe that anybody woke up one morning, decided to go out to a public bathroom and be a perv, and then end up being discouraged when they found a little plaque on the door that did or didn’t depict a human in a skirt. 

Why had it taken her so long to question this? And why was she questioning it now, of all times!? 

Right. Because back at the cafe, there were gender-neutral toilets and gender-neutral changing rooms for the employees. If that hadn’t been the case, maybe Dani would have had some idea of which way Payton would choose to go if they were forced to.  

She flashed back to the moment she’d walked into the changing room earlier, and seen Payton’s binder for the first time. Right, right... Did that mean they saw themself as more masculine than feminine? 

She pushed open the door to the men’s bathroom, leaning as far into the room as she could while keeping her feet outside and clutching the side of the door. A middle-aged dude was finishing up at a urinal, and he jumped when he saw her. 

“Wrong place, love,” he half-smiled. 

“Oh, gee, thanks, love,” Dani said, employing her Hollywood starlet voice in order to stop herself from retorting with something unsavoury. And then she yelled out, making the man jump on his way to the sinks; “Payton?!” 

After waiting for a few seconds, Dani huffed, noting that none of the cubicles were locked anyway, and no feet were visible under any of them. 

She retracted her torso from the bathroom and ducked into the one next door. 

“Payton?” she called out again. 

Two women were by the sink, one of them washing their hands, the other touching up their lipstick with a bit of a sheepish expression.  

“Maybe in there?” the one with wet hands said softly, nodding towards the only cubicle that had been locked. Sure enough, Dani noted the presence of feet near the bottom gap in the door. “Is she okay?” 

“They.” The correction sprang out of Dani’s throat, already locked and loaded this time. “And... I dunno. Maybe. Payton? You okay?” 

Dani’s heart felt like it’d just been dragged down into her stomach when the reply came. 

“No! No, no, no.” 

___ 

Payton’s lungs fluttered with the effort of breathing. A mixture of a smile and a grimace sliced their face as they heard Dani talking to the other bathroom occupants. The novelty of Dani gendering them correctly had worn off so quickly that Payton struggled to remember what that rush of serotonin and acceptance had even felt like.  

Their teeth were chattering, their fingers still tingled with the knowledge that their internal chemistry had been altered, and their stomach lining was still painfully irritated – 

They were powerless against the no blisters that burst on their lips, over and over again. 

“Payton, open the door!” Dani screamed, and even though they were the one yelling no continuously, Payton thought screaming was a little over-the-top. 

They weren’t dying. They knew that now. They just felt like they were dying. 

“NO!” Payton sobbed lucidly amidst the rolling cries of despair. No, I won’t open the door. What on earth might they would unleash on her if they let her in? They had a reputation as the cool, easy-going supervisor; how could they ever face her at work if they were revealed as the fraud they were? 

“I’m so sorry,” Dani’s voice said from the other side of the door. “I wasn’t in on it, but I also wasn’t – I wasn’t paying attention to what they were doing. And I should’ve been.” 

Payton squeezed their eyes shut. As badly as they wanted to stay quiet, hoping she would go away, they couldn’t leave her hanging. That was what they did. They soothed people. 

“It’s... okay,” they croaked, their voice reverberating in the porcelain bowl. They recoiled. Ew. Was that how they sounded right now? 

“No?” Dani retorted. “It’s not. It’s awful.” 

Payton coughed, feeling the last of their fighting energy drain out of them. She was right. This was awful. It would be very nice if this could, somehow, not be happening. 

Panic flooded their lungs again like liquid, and this time they were struck through with fear, because they didn’t feel they had it in them to continue panicking, and they definitely didn’t want to wind up unconscious next to a toilet – 

“Come on, get out of there,” Dani was begging. Her voice sounded strange. Maybe Payton was imagining things again, like they’d imagined her without her boots on earlier.  

The door of the next cubicle down creaked. A toilet lid slapped down. There was a muffled thump... 

Goosebumps pricked the back of Payton’s neck. They tilted their head back, all the way, so that they were facing towards the ceiling. 

The sight of a head hovering above the cubicle divider was unexpected and unsettling enough to make Payton’s breath catch, and once it did, it was like a cycle had been broken. They blinked, once, twice, three times, and suddenly became hyper-aware of their surroundings. 

“I... Hi?” they croaked pathetically. 

“Hi, boss,” Dani muttered. Payton wondered if that was her version of being playful.  

Payton scrambled to flush the toilet, their face burning at the thought of Dani getting an ariel view of their neon yellow vomit.  

“Get... get d-down,” Payton stammered. “Y-you’re gonna fall–” 

“Open the door and I’ll get down.” 

They reached up for the latch and then sank back down, still catching their breath. The tears on their face were starting to solidify. They couldn’t bear to look Dani in the eye when she circled the cubicles to stand in front of theirs, so they kept their gaze low. 

A dry laugh popped out of them, like it’d been lodged in their throat and then squeezed.  

Dani’s socks were black and covered in tiny green alien heads. She was standing on the tiles in her socks. 

“You... actually took your shoes off.” 

“Yeah, so?” Dani growled.  

“Nothing, I just – I thought I was hallucinating earlier.” 

“I find it more comfortable.” 

Payton nodded, sniffling as they felt their nose run. They felt as though they were already in the throes of a mini hangover – the hollow pangs of nausea in their stomach, the ringing in their head, the burning agony in their throat.  

But worst of all was the shame. The storybook of images of themself – ariel view, as though they’d been up on that toilet alongside Dani, watching their own pathetic display from above – flipped its pages over in their mind.  

“So, did – did you have, like, a board somewhere at home that said ‘something-hundred and something days since last drink’, or...?” 

Payton almost choked at the image. Why had they never thought of that? They’d only ever kept track of their sobriety on the calendar in their head, but even that would have to be reset to zero now. “No.” 

“Mmm. Sorry.” Dani shuffled her stockinged feet. “I never know what to say in... Well, any situation. Ever.” 

“You’re fine,” Payton sighed. A part of them noted how exhausting it was, to still be the one to comfort everybody else when something bad had just happened to them. They tried to squash that part. Dani was here, trying to help them. 

Besides, they felt most like themself when they were making others feel at ease. Maybe they didn’t need to be so ashamed of that. 

“Do you... need something?” Dani asked the question stiffly and awkwardly; was this how she took down orders from customers at the coffee shop? 

Payton wanted the exact same thing they’d wanted about an hour ago. 

“I want to go home,” they whispered. 

“Samesies.” Dani’s feet rearranged themselves again. “Do you need me to help you up?” 

The reluctance in her voice made Payton want to say no. But they were dizzy and weak, and tired of saying no. The thought of just a little bit of help brought tears of relief to their eyes.  

Payton looked up from the floor. Dani’s appearance hadn’t changed at all from the moment she’d turned up for her shift that afternoon, but Payton got the feeling that they were looking at a whole different version of her.  

“I... I mean, would that be okay, Dani?” 

“Yes. Of... course.” Dani had clenched her fists by her side, and was looking at Payton as though they were a cliff that she was supposed to step off the side of. “Just don’t grab onto my waist, shoulders, back, or sides.” 

[sneezyminniejo]

Oh Bother

Jake wants a break and doesn’t think things through

Also @kpopsickiess helped me come up with the idea for this fic

TW emeto

Jake wanted a break. A full on couple of days where he wasn’t expected to anything. No practice, no filming. A day where he could sleep the day away if he wanted. Only he didn’t feel right about asking for a day just so he could relax. Sunghoon and Jungwon both had busier schedules than him. Jungwon being the leader and Sunghoon being an MC. His mental health was fine, he just wanted a lazy day without seeming selfish.

Jake was in his room, googling how to ask for a day off from work. A few random videos popped up on how to fake call in sick to work. He thought about it for a moment before clicking on a couple of the videos. As he watched the videos, he liked the idea of faking sick to get out of work more and more. The only issue being he lives with his coworkers, so he would need to do some real planning.

Jake eventually ended up on ‘Wiki How’ looking up how to fake sick just so he would know what his options were. He quickly ruled out fever, coughing, and sneezing because those symptoms would be way too hard to continuously fake, especially with how much some of his members enjoy skinship. The two that seemed most promising were headache and stomach ache because there wouldn’t be any outward symptoms he would need to maintain throughout the day. However he ruled out headache solely because he knew he’d just be given some pain meds and he wasn’t about to fake a migraine.

He then looked up how to properly fake a stomach ache which led him to an article on how to make some fake vomit. He was a little grossed out at the idea but knew it would make things more convincing, so he clicked on it. He quickly realized that they had all the ingredients in the kitchen, although he would probably need to swap out the oatmeal for rice.

Jake decided to go to the kitchen to make the vomit. First he made sure that no one was around and was relieved to see that the others were all either in the living room or their own rooms. Jake sighed as he went into the kitchen and grabbed a large tumbler from one of the cabinets. He then grabbed a carton of banana milk, a carton of orange juice, and the rice and carefully measured the ingredients out before shaking it all together. He was honestly a little bit surprised at how realistic it looked before placing it in the very back of the fridge..

At dinner Jake began to put his plan into motion. He took a fairly small portion of everything, but really only ate the rice before pushing everything else around his plate. He’s pretty sure that at least a couple of members noticed his lack of eating as he got a couple looks from Jungwon, Jay, and Heeseung, but no one said anything. It wasn’t until he decided to excuse himself from the table before they were all finished eating that someone said something.

“Hyung, are you feeling okay, you barely ate anything?” Riki asked, causing the others to look at him while awaiting an answer. Jake nodded. “Yeah my stomach just hurts a little bit. Nothing a good night’s sleep won’t fix.” Truthfully he was hungry, but he read that the best way to fake sick was to display mild symptoms the night before so it’s more believable the following day. He would just have to make do with one or two granola bars that he keeps in his bag.  The Aussie member went to his room and ate the granola bars before going to bed early.

Jake spent the night tossing and turning. The anxiety of faking sick getting to him a little. However this is probably to his advantage, as if Heeseung or Jay notice it, it will further suggest that he’s sick. Seeing as he went to bed a couple hours before the others, he also woke up before the others as well. He left the room and went to the kitchen to grab the tumbler from the fridge.

He took it into the bathroom and dumped a little on the floor in front of the toilet, some on the toilet seat, took a small handful of the gunk and smeared it on the bottom of his shirt and pant leg before dumping the rest into the toilet itself. He then quickly went back to the kitchen and cleaned out the tumbler. He then went back to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet. He waited a couple of minutes then glanced at the clock on his phone to make sure it wasn’t too early before he started coughing, hard.

Jungwon had woken up and was making his way to the living room to look through any new messages from management. He noticed the light in the bathroom was on but didn’t think much of it until he heard some harsh coughing coming from the closed room. He almost ignored it, but then he thought he heard a splash of liquid under the coughing. His eyes widened as he realized that one of his members was in the process of being sick.

Jungwon wasn’t emetophobic, but he absolutely did not do vomit. There just too many germs and it was too messy. He knew that whoever was sick wasn’t anyone from his room as they were all still sleeping. Therefore it was either Jay, Jake, or Heeseung hyung. Jungwon sighed. He didn’t want to wake any of the others up if he didn’t need to. He decided that as long as the vomit was contained to the toilet he would be able to help out his hyung. 

Jungwon knocked on the door, but he didn’t get a response. After having a brief internal debate, he decided to just open up the bathroom door. What he saw was Jake knelt over the toilet with a very clear mess on his lap, the floor, and the edge of the toilet bowl. The leader didn’t even bother entering the room when he saw the mess. Instead he turned around and went straight to the hyungs’ room so that one of them could help out.

Jungwon opened the door to the hyungs’ room a bit too quickly, unintentionally slamming it into the wall. This successfully startled the two awake, so Jungwon wasn’t feeling too apologetic.

“Hyungs, Jake hyung is throwing up.” he said somewhat frantically. Both Heeseung and Jay got out of bed rather quickly to check on the sick member. Jungwon waited outside the bathroom and watched as Heeseung and Jay worked in tandem to run a bath for the sick member and clean up the mess on the floor. Seeing as the door to the bathroom was open, the commotion woke up Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Riki as well. They tiredly left their room to see what was going on before making their way to the living room.

Around fifteen minutes later the eldest three came out of the bathroom. Jay brought Jake to the couch before grabbing the nearest trash can and giving it to the Aussie. Heeseung went back to his room, emerging a moment later with Jake’s baby blanket, knowing that it makes him feel a bit better when he’s feeling miserable.

“I’ve texted manager-nim to let him know that you’re staying here today, okay hyung.” Jungwon said while standing a couple feet from the sick member. Jake shook his head. “I’m fine to work. I don’t even have a fever." The Aussie said before faking a gag over the trash can. Jungwon visibly backed away slightly at that.

“You literally just threw up. You might not have a fever, yet. But stomach bugs don’t always come with a fever. You need to stay here until you haven’t thrown up for at least a full day.” Heeseung said. Jake internally grinned upon hearing that but made sure to outwardly complain about having to miss work. As Heeseung, Jay, and Jungwon were telling Jake why he needed to stay home, Sunoo, Sunghoon, and Riki woke up fully and joined in on convincing the ailing member to stay home. After a few minutes, Jake was “convinced” to stay home under the threat of Jay stealing his phone and calling his parents.

When Sunghoon made breakfast, he only gave rice to Jake. Jake had to stop himself from asking for other food, seeing as it would be a dead giveaway that he wasn’t actually sick. He also made sure not to eat all of the rice he was given as it wouldn’t be surprising for his stomach to still be a tad upset. Just like with last night, Jake excused himself from the table and went to his room under the guise of getting some more rest. He found that one of the others already placed a bucket next to his bed. He grabbed a couple more granola bars from his bag and ate them before getting into his bed and grabbing his phone to watch some netflix.

After about two hours of watching netflix, Jake decided to venture out to the living room to maybe play some video games. He was a bit surprised to find both Jay and Jungwon in the room, as he was pretty sure everyone had schedules today.

“What are you guys doing here, doesn’t everyone have schedules today?” Jake asked as he sat down on the couch. “My vocal lesson got cancelled, vocal coach’s wife went into labor and replacement won’t be here until tomorrow. Therefore I don’t have anywhere to be until after lunch.” Jay shrugged.

“It was decided that what we were going to discuss in my meetings today can just be done over email. I’ll head to the company with Jay after lunch, since that’s when dance practice is. How're you feeling hyung?” Jungwon asked, worry lacing his voice.

“I still feel a bit queasy, but I haven’t actually felt the need to throw up since this morning.” Jake lied. He was enjoying his day off and didn’t want to seem like he was getting better too quickly. He also knew that if he wanted to get a second day off, he’d need to “throw up” again at some point. Jake also couldn’t help but notice Jungwon looked a little bit uncomfortable at the mention of queasiness. He sat down on the couch to hang out with the others for a bit and watch the movie they were watching. The exhaustion he’d been feeling all week decided to take over at that moment and Jake had drifted off within minutes.

Jake woke up around forty five minutes later, although he didn’t want to be awake so he kept his eyes closed. The only reason he ultimately decided to wake up was because he could smell lunch being made. His head had apparently fallen onto Jungwon’s shoulder, as the younger member chuckled a little as Jake stirred awake. Jake’s stomach growled a bit as he sat up, which Jungwon interpreted as an angry rumble as opposed to hunger.

Within seconds, Jake had a small trash can sitting in his lap. “Jay hyung, I think Jake hyung is going to be sick again!” Jungwon called, Jake didn’t miss the slight panic in his voice. He watched as Jay came into the room and calmly swapped places with Jugwon. He took advantage of the situation and coughed over the bucket a couple of times, knowing that nothing was going to come up.

“Jake, I need you to try to breathe. You’re dry heaving. Nothing’s going to come up.” Jake slowly stopped coughing and began breathing regularly insead. Jay then handed him a bottle of water, which he took a couple of sips from. Jake then leaned back so his back was resting against the couch.

Jay grabbed the thermometer and scanned Jake’s forehead, frowning slightly. “You still don’t have a fever, but that doesn’t really mean anything.” Silence fell over the duo until Jungwon returned a couple minutes later.

“Is Jake hyung done?” the leader asked without fully coming into the room. Jake nodded before verbally responding. “I didn’t throw up Wonnie, false alarm.” Jungwon sighed as he entered the room.

“Lunch is ready. Jay made you some plain rice and chicken broth if you want to try eating.” Jake nodded his head. “I’d like to try eating and see if I’m able to keep it down. Besides I think the dry heaving spell I just had might have been more due to lack of food in my stomach than anything else.” Jake partially lied. He does have a small history of throwing up when he’s hungry, although it has yet to happen around his members, but this time it was all acting. Jay looked at him a bit skeptically but ultimately got up to get Jake his food while Jungwon dished up their food.

The trio ate lunch without much incident. Jake ate about half of his food. He only stopped because he knew that people generally aren’t all that hungry when they have an upset stomach. “Do you want one of us to stay here with you? I don’t think it would be too big of an issue to arrange, and being sick while by yourself kind of sucks.” Jungwon asked.

“I’ll be fine for a couple hours by myself.” Jake said. Jay and Jungwon nodded and the meal continued. Lunch ended shortly thereafter and Jay and Jungwon both double checked that Jake didn’t want either of them to stay behind before they left for the company building.

After the duo left, Jake decided to get comfortable on the couch and turn on disney+ so he could marathon some of the classics. After the first movie ended, Jake decided to make another batch of vomit. While he was making the second batch, Jake decided to taste it. The rice added a not so desirable texture, but the overall taste wasn’t bad. He quickly finished the second batch and once again put it in the very back of the fridge.

Jake spent his afternoon lounging in the living room watching tv. He also made himself a more proper lunch since there wouldn’t be anyone to question him eating such rich food on an upset stomach. He did make sure to clean up after himself..

Jake had finished cleaning a couple moments before receiving a text from Jungwon saying they were on their way home. As soon as he heard one of the members greet him, he decided to make a mad dash for the bathroom. He heard someone following him, but he didn’t stop to see who it was until after he was knelt over the toilet and coughing, making a show of fake dry heaving.

Jake could see out of his periphery Sunoo approaching him. The younger pat his back until he finished. “Aish hyung, you’re really sick aren’t you?” He asked rhetorically. Jake just hummed in response then took a couple of sips from the offered water. He then followed Sunoo back into the living room where the members were patiently waiting.

“I was going to ask how you’re feeling, but since you’ve thrown up again I’m assuming the answer is not great.” Jungwon said as he gestured to the bathroom Jake just came from. Jake sighed. “I don’t feel great right now. But I’m sure I’ll be feeling better tomorrow. Besides, I didn’t even throw up, so at the moment I’ve only thrown up once today” Jake was planning on making a bit of a recovery overnight since he’d be getting tomorrow off as well. The company’s sick leave policy was twenty four hours without puking, so he was guaranteed another day of rest. Even though he hasn’t “thrown up” for several hours, the show of dry heaving he just did should be enough to get him the following day off as well.

The group decided to relax a bit by continuing a drama they’ve been watching together. Sunghoon and Riki made dinner for the group and gave Jake left overs from his lunch. About half an hour into the second episode of the drama, Jungwon’s phone began to ring. He quickly excused himself. The leader returned a few minutes later with a frown on his face.

“Manager-nim said that because we have a tour starting next month that we need to make sure we have everything down pat. He also said that because you haven’t thrown up since this morning, you should be fine to go to practice as long as you don’t puke again before schedules start tomorrow. I did try explaining that you’ve dry heaved a few times, but manager-nim says it doesn’t matter. You’re going to practice tomorrow as long as you don’t throw up before practice.” Everyone groaned at this, but Jake made sure to protectively wrap his arms around his middle. He was also glad that he had decided to make that second batch after all.

As the group got ready for bed, Jake found a quick opportunity to grab the tumbler full of his fake vomit and sneak it into his shared room. The night stand next to his bed has a small cabinet in it, so he stored it there. He then got ready for bed himself, which pretty much just meant taking a shower and brushing his teeth. Jake then got into his bed, sidestepping the bucket that had been sitting on the floor since that morning.

Jay and Heeseung came in a few minutes after Jake was in bed and scrolling through his phone. “Are you sure that you’ll be okay to go to practice tomorrow? Your stomach is still very clearly upset even if you haven’t thrown up in over twelve hours.” Heeseung said. Jake was about to respond, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. Jungwon walked in once Jay opened the door.

“Hyung, I tried calling manager-nim back to get you tomorrow off as well, but he’s not moving on you going into practice tomorrow, even though you’re clearly still in no condition to do so.”

“I’m fine Wonnie. Worst case scenario is I probably end up watching practice if I start to feel queasy. I’m probably not going to throw up again anyway since it’s been so long since it last happened.” Jake didn’t miss Jay rolling his eyes, but Jungwon nodded before going to his own room. The trio then finished getting ready for bed before turning off the lights and going to sleep.

Only Jake didn’t actually fall asleep. He pretended to drift off to sleep until he heard the breaths of his roommates even out. He then took his phone out and continued to scroll through social media for a bit. He read through various posts on weverse. As much as he wanted to respond to Engenes, he didn’t know if his dongsaengs were still awake, and he knew that they would get a notification from the app if he responded to anything.

After roughly another hour of scrolling through various social media platforms, Jake decided it was time to get sick again. He quietly plugged his phone in and opened the cabinet containing his fake vomit. He did his best to quietly pour some of it on his bed, in the bucket next to his bed, and on the floor next to the bucket. He hesitated a bit when the sound was a bit louder than he was expecting it to be, but relaxed when neither Jay nor Heeseung stirred in the slightest. Before putting the tumbler back in the cabinet, he took a fairly large swig of the chunky liquid so he could cough something up.

Fortunately or unfortunately for the Aussie, he took too big of a swig. He had just enough time to close the door to the cabinet before he gagged on the mouthful of liquid and it splashed onto the floor. He started coughing a bit too, but not enough to cause him to throw up for real.

With how violently he coughed up the liquid, both Jay and Heeseung shot upright in their bed and looked around slightly confused before they got out of their own beds to help the sick member. Jay quickly turned on the light and the older duo cringed a little bit at the decent size mess that was both on the bed and the floor.

Heeseung went over to Jake’s bed and looked into the bucket. He was glad that at least some of the mess went into the bucket instead of on the floor. Heeseung grabbed the bucket and held it underneath Jake as he and Jay helped the Aussie get to the bathroom. The trio stumbled a bit down the hallway and Jake’s coughing was by no means quiet.

The trio arrived in the bathroom and Heeseung left Jake in Jay’s care so that the eldest could change Jake’s bed sheets. Jay grabbed the thermometer that had been left on the counter and scanned Jake’s forehead again. “Still no fever Jake. If it weren’t for the fact that you threw up yesterday morning and  literally just puked all over your bed, I’d almost think you’re pretending to be sick.” Jay chuckled a little before drawing up a bath for the sick member.

Jake was still sitting on the toilet lid with the bucket in his lap when Jungwon walked in. He was still rubbing sleep out of his eyes. “Hyungs, why are you up? It’s two in the morning.”

“Jake puked again.” Jay said as he turned off the faucet of the bathtub.That woke Jungwon up immediately. “Shit, that sucks Jake hyung. I-I’m going to quick shoot manager-nim a text saying you’re not coming in today.” Jungwon ran out of the bathroom rather quickly compared to how sluggish he had entered. Shortly after Jungwon left the bathroom and Jake was bathing, Heeseung returned with a change of clothes.

“We don’t actually have any clean bed sheets right now, so I think sleeping on the couch would be the best idea, unless you want to sleep on a bare mattress.” Jake just nodded. It was now well past the time he normally went to bed and he was ready to sleep. He finished bathing and got into his fresh pajamas before moving to the living room. Jake was tired enough that he fell asleep shortly after getting himself situated.

The following morning, Jake woke up to the sounds of hushed whispers. He stretched as he slowly sat up. He was met with the concerned looks of the three maknaes. “How’re you feeling hyung?” Riki asked as he placed his hand on Jake’s forehead. Jake shrugged. He still wanted to sleep. Between intentionally staying up two hours late and sleeping on the couch, he was still fairly tired.

“I feel okay, but I just want to go back to sleep.” The three youngest nodded in understanding. “Sunghoon’s making you some plain rice to eat, and manager-nim wasn’t happy when he received my text.” Jungwon said. The leader went on that their manager was probably more irritated about a slight change in schedule than anything else. The group still had a few weeks before their next big group schedule, and not to worry about it.

Sunghoon came into the living room a few minutes later carrying a bowl of rice and a cup of tea on a tray. “Here Jake. Hopefully this won’t upset your stomach too much. Also I finished breakfast, so I’m going to go wake Jay and Heeseung hyung.” Sunghoon said. He handed Jake the tray of food then went down the hallway. The three maknaes got up and went to the kitchen.

A couple minutes later, the three maknaes had returned to the living room with plates of food, and Sunghoon had returned with Jay and Heeseung sleepily trailing behind him. The three that had come from the bedroom grabbed their own plates of food from the kitchen and joined the others in the living room. As all the members fully woke up, Jungwon began talking about their schedule for the day.

“So all of us have packed schedules today, and we won’t be able to stay behind if something happens.” Jungwon continued to list off exactly what each person had going on for the day. Afterwards Jay and Heeseung filled in the the four youngest members in about how sick Jake had gotten the previous night. Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Riki definitely looked concerned and Sunoo expressed slight regret that none of them would be able to stay behind to help out if Jake gets sick again. Jungwon honestly looked a bit grossed out when he heard a bit more at how Jake had thrown up all over his bed and the floor. At that moment, Jungwon got another text from their manager.

He sighed as he read the message. “Manager-nim said he won’t give you the day off until he sees you in person. He says that you need to come to the company building to speak with him.” All the members groaned at this and complained a little bit before finishing their breakfast and getting ready for the day. Jake reluctantly followed his members to the van. Sunoo handed him the bucket after he sat down.

Jake fell asleep in the car ride to the company building and barely stirred when Sunoo tried to wake him up. Sunoo and Riki wound up helping the half asleep member into the building and to their manager’s office. The manager wasn’t super happy at seeing Jake being brought into his office half asleep and carrying a bucket. The manager was about to start lecturing Jake on how he didn’t look sick and feeling a bit nauseous wasn’t a good enough excuse. Jake, however, was smart enough to pretend to gag right then and there, coughing for a minute while also spitting into the bucket he was holding. The manager finally acquiesced and told the others to go practice while he drove the Aussie home.

Jake was still tired from the lack of sleep he had gotten the night before and was too lazy to go to his room to sleep on his bed that may or may not have fresh sheets. He went back to the couch and got as comfy as he could before drifting off to slumberland.

Jake woke up a couple hours later to his stomach growling. He got up and walked to the kitchen to make himself some eggs. He brought the plate of food back to the living room and began to watch tv while he ate. When he finished eating he continued to watch tv for a bit before getting bored and switching to playing video games. He got a couple of check in texts from his members asking how he was doing and he responded that he was feeling okay and that he hadn't thrown up again. After a couple hours of playing video games, Jake started to get tired again. So he turned the tv off and got himself resituated on the couch before falling asleep again.

Jake wound up being far more tired than he thought. He began to stir awake to the sound of the front door opening. However he wasn't ready to open his eyes just yet, so he decided to continue to lie on the couch with his eyes closed. The members were talking fairly loudly as they entered the dorm. Jake did his best to not laugh when everyone immediately quieted down when they entered the dorm and saw his "sleeping" figure.

He listened for a bit as the others went around the dorm to put their things away. As he heard the six members begin to settle themselves in the living room, Jake decided to actually wake up. The members were currently whispering about what movie they wanted to watch tonight, when Jake stretched out his arms, indicating that he was awake.

“Morning sleepyhead. How’re you feeling?” Jay asked in English as he placed his hand on Jake’s forehead, once again not feeling any unusual warmth.

“Good, I haven’t thrown up at all today.” Jake replied also in English until his brian supplied that he should probably say it in Korean so that the others understand as well. They all looked rather happy upon hearing that Jake’s stomach appeared to have completely settled since his midnight vomiting spell. The members filled Jake in on what happened at practice while they filtered in and out of the room to change into their sleep wear.

Heeseung and Jay were the last ones to change, and they were both scrunching their noses a little bit when they returned to the living room. “I’m going to quick do a full, proper mopping of our room. There’s still a lingering smell from Jake puking this morning.” Heeseung said before turning around and heading to the laundry room to grab the mop and related supplies. Sunoo turned the tv on and put on a movie that all seven of them have seen multiple times.

Around fifteen minutes later Heeseung came out of the shared hyung bedroom carrying a tumbler with a disgusted expression on his face. “So I was mopping the floor, when I realized that the smell seemed to be coming from Jake’s night stand. I wasn’t really expecting to find anything, but when I opened the little cabinet, I found this tumbler.” Heeseung was explaining. The members were getting confused as his expression and voice were implying that he was angry about something.

“Jake, why does this tumbler appear to have what looks like puke in it?” Heeseung asked in an accusatory tone. All the members looked towards Jake, who suddenly looked a bit pale.

“Well, you see, I. You know how..” Jake was stuttering over a possible explanation as his face gradually turned red in shame. “I’m not sick. I mixed together rice, milk, and orange juice. Then I pretended to puke. All the gagging and dry heaving I did yesterday was fake as well.” Stunned silence fell over the group at the confession. After a couple of moments Jungwon went to his room and slammed the door. Jay followed the leader a moment later, leaving Jake in the living room with Heeseung and the rest of his dongsaengs.

“Jake, why would you do something like that?” Sunghoon asked looking incredibly confused.

“I just wanted a break with no chance of management or anyone asking me to do anything. If I faked a cold, or a minor injury, or even just asked for a couple days off, I knew that wouldn’t happen. Puking was the best way to guarantee a couple days off to properly rest.”

“And how was your break, hyung?” Sunoo asked, clearly annoyed at Jake because of the sarcastic tone he used. “You do realize that Jungwon is borderline emetophobic right. Not to mention he’s definitely a bit germaphobic. Puking might not throw him into any sort of panic, but the thought of being exposed to whatever virus you “had” made him contemplate checking into a hotel for a few days.” He continued, explaining to Jake how he had fucked up.

Jake was now feeling guilty as Sunoo rightfully chewed him out. He knew that Jungwon didn’t like getting sick and knew that the leader would keep his distance when one of the others was sick, but for some reason he thought it was more of a ‘I don’t have time to get sick’ thing, as opposed to getting sick in general. Jake needed to apologize to everyone, but especially Jungwon.

Once it seemed that Sunoo was done berating him (Again rightfully so). Jake ducked his head in shame. “I’m sorry. It was selfish for me to fake sick for a break when some of us have busier schedules than others.” Jake stood up from the couch with his head still hung low. “I’m going to try to apologize to Jungwon.” Jake quickly muttered before heading in the direction of the bedrooms.

However, Jake changed his mind about apologizing before he knocked on the door. If Jungwon was as uncomfortable with him being sick as Sunoo said, the leader is probably pissed at him right now. It’ll probably take more than a few words and a full bow to properly apologize and ask for forgiveness. Instead of knocking on the door to the maknaes’ room to talk to Jungwon, Jake went to his own room to think.

After a few moments of thinking over how to apologize, Jake came up with a couple of things. He was going to offer to do the younger’s chores for the next month along with his own. He was also going to offer to take the younger out to dinner, his treat. He also had an idea that would definitely be a bit embarrassing, but would hopefully make the younger laugh and ultimately forgive him. Jake texted their manager, and not wanting to get into trouble with him, told him that he was feeling much better and hadn’t had any symptoms since that morning. He also asked for a driver to be sent over as he had an urgent matter to attend to and that he will be back in practice the following day.

Jake wrote something on a piece of paper and slipped it under the door to Jungwon’s room. He then went back to his own room to make sure he had his wallet and keys before heading out of the dorm. He heard a question from Sungoon, and he quickly replied that he was going to apologize to Jungwon in a big way.

Jungwon stared at the note that had been slipped under the door. All it said was ‘Turn of weverse live in one hour’. The leader was familiar enough with his members’ handwriting, that he knew that Jake had written the note, but he wasn’t sure why. What he did know was that he was feeling hurt about how his hyung had disregarded his discomfort around people being sick, and pretended to be sick to get a break. If he’d actually been sick Jungwon wouldn’t have been mad, because you can’t control when and how you get sick.

Jungwon showed the note to Jay who had followed him to his room. The older looked equally confused about what it could mean. “He could have at least apologized.” Jay muttered as he ran his hand through his hair in frustration. Jungwon hummed in agreement. He honestly didn’t really want to talk to or see Jake for at least a day, which would be rather difficult since they live and work together. He also knew that Jay was feeling similarly. Since Jake first “Threw up”, Jay had been getting increasingly concerned and Jungwon had found him on webmd a couple of times looking up potential causes of puking and when to see a doctor. Jungwon at one point had to confiscate Jay’s phone because he was spending too much time overthinking everything.

“I’m going to go talk to hyungs. See if they know what Jake hyung’s planning” Jungwon left the room. After a few moments Jay also exited the room.

When Jay entered the living room he found Heeseung and his four dongsaengs all looking at the note. “So what do you guys think? Why does Jake hyung want me to tune into weverse live in less than an hour?” Jungwon asked

“Well, he said something about a big apology as he ran out of the dorm, so it could be that.” Sunghoon suggested, although none of the members could properly fathom doing such a public apology. After some more discussion of what the Aussie could possibly be planning, they ultimately decided to just wait until he went live and see what happens.

When the hour finally passed, the group waited to get the weverse notification. When they did, Riki was quick to open up weverse and turn on the live so that they could all watch it. Riki and Sunoo both started laughing a little at Jake, who was dressed as Winnie the Pooh. The group immediately decided to head to the company to talk to Jake in person.

“So, umm, Hi Engene. You’re probably wondering why I’m doing a live stream at such a weird time and also why I’m dressed as Winnie the Pooh.” Jake then moved a bit farther away from the camera and to the best of his ability went into a full bow. “Heeseung hyung, Jay, Sunghoon, Sunoo, Niki, and especially Jungwon. I am completely and truly sorry for how I acted yesterday and today. I did not mean to hurt your feelings, nor did I mean to worry you. Jungwon, I promise to do all your chores for the next month and I’m going to treat you to dinner next time we go out.” A few moments after the apology, Jake tried to stand up but misjudged how big and clumsy the costume would be, and he promptly fell on his stomach. “Oh bother.” He said trying to do an impression of the character he was dressed as. He then tried to get up again, this time with success. He then went over to the computer and started playing some music. The Winnie the Pooh soundtrack to be exact.

The Aussie did some quite frankly ridiculous dances to “Up, Down” and “Rumbly in the Tumbly”. He lost balance a couple of times, and each time said “Oh bother”. Once the Winnie the Pooh songs ended he went closer to read the comments. “Think, think, think. What song should I dance to next?” Jake watched as comments flooded the screen.

As Jake was reading some of the comments out loud the door opened. “Hyung, you look ridiculous.” Jake startled a little as he hadn’t expected any of his members to be in the building since he had last seen them at the dorm. “I also think that you should dance to Gangnam Style.” Jungwon had a smirk on his face as he said this that only grew wider as Jake groaned. Before Jake could actually respond though, Jay had already queued up the song and it had started playing

All of the members were laughing at how ridiculous Jake looked and dancing to Gangnam Style dressed as Winnie the Pooh. The others joined in on the chorus and after the song ended everyone sat on the floor and began reading the comments. There were several directed at Jungwon asking if he accepted Jake’s apology for whatever he had done. 

“Do I accept hyung’s apology? Maybe after he dances to EXO sunbaenim’s Love Shot.” The other members cheered for Jake to do it. Sunoo helped Jake stand up and Sunghoon put the song on. It was even more hilarious to watch Jake attempt Love Shot in his costume.

“Okay hyung, I forgive you as long as you don’t do it again.” Jungwon said some of the teasing leaving his voice as he said it. “I promise Wonnie.”  The members read a few more comments and some were asking exactly what Jake had done.

“Jake decided to play a bit of a prank on all of us yesterday and didn’t think through how we might not all appreciate it. He unintentionally hurt Jay and Jungwon’s feelings in the process, so this is him trying to make it up to them.” 

“By the way Jake I also accept your apology dressing up as Winnie the Pooh and doing a live stream is enough for me.” Jay said before taking out his phone and going up to the Aussie to take a selfie with him. The group stuck around for a couple more minutes and continued to answer some of Engene’s questions. Then they signed off and decided to head back to the dorm.

“I really am sorry guys. I was only thinking of myself and how much I wanted a break. I should have put more thought into how my actions might have affected the rest of you since we all live together.” The others waved him off as at this point they had all forgiven him.

“I have one question hyung. Why Winnie the Pooh?” Riki asked.

“Who doesn’t like Winnie the Pooh?” was all Jake said in response. The other members couldn’t help but make noises of agreement. For whatever reason Jake insisted on waiting to get back to the dorm to change out of the costume, so the ride back was a bit interesting.