#jake sickfic

[dudadragneel]

Hello guys! It's me! How are you?

Soo I'm back with another original idea! This one has been sitting in my notes for over a year now 😱

It's about Jake and it's inspired by a video from Youth with you!

I hope you'll enjoy!!

ROOKIE SIDE EFFECTS

It was supposed to be just another typical day for the group, singing practice, dance practice, and rewinding. The only different thing was that they were going to be mentored by Jung Hoseok himself. Given his love for dancing, J-Hope decided to give the rookie group a little bit of advice and evaluate them on their dancing.

They got to the practice room and energetically greeted their sunbae before they started practicing. They danced to a few of their songs and other random songs as well. Everything went smoothly, until the very end.

When they were done dancing and stood in line to hear what their sunbae had to say, one of the members wasn’t quite there anymore.

-   Well done guys! Good work. Now- Jake, are you alright? What’s wrong?

The older asked when he noticed that Jake was bent over his knees, head looking down.

Throughout the dance, Jake started to feel funny, he broke into a cold sweat, his stomach started to act funny and with every movement, every turn, he felt like his stomach’s content just kept on swirling around. When they stopped he braced himself for support and kept looking down, swallowing convulsively, trying to die down the urge to vomit, afraid that if he moved his head, he might lose control.

The boys noticed that something was wrong with Jake and quickly gathered around him. After successfully swallowing down the awful feeling, he lifted his head to look at his sunbae.

-  I’m sorry, can I use the restroom? He asked, face gone pale and sweaty.

- Of course.

With permission from the oldest, Jake quickly left the room.

- Can I go check on him? Jay asked.

- Sure, please.

Jay thought that since the boy was Australian, he would feel more at ease talking in English when feeling sick. When he got to the restroom, the boy was bent over the toilet gagging unproductively.

- Hey, how are you feeling?

- Awful…I don’t know what’s happening. When I was in the room it felt like I could throw up at any minute but now nothing’s coming up.

He said gagging again and spitting out a mouthful of saliva.

- Can I touch you?

Jay asked trying to not make his friend even more uncomfortable.

- Yeah…

Jake said with an exhausted voice

Jay put his hand on the boy’s nape and waist and asked

- Come on, I’ll help you, ok? Try tensing your stomach as if you’re gonna cough.

The boy did as he was told and Jay started to rub his back from bottom to top, gently pressing down when doing so, to stimulate him.

After a few unproductive tries, Jake’s stomach brought up all the food he’d eaten In the past few hours.

He bent even further, painfully arching his back not having time to catch his breath before another wave came up, making him sway on his feet. Jay was fast to grab him by the waist steadying him and guiding him to kneel down.

- There you go. Let it all out, don’t try to hold it in.

He said when he noticed Jake starting to convulsively swallow again.

The boy didn’t want to get sick anymore, everything hurt and he was getting scared and annoyed.

 BACK TO THE PRACTICE ROOM

Everyone in the room looked surprised by the situation, there was an eerie silence before J-Hope spoke.

- What’s going on with him?

He asked, face filled with concern for his hoobae.

- He had a bit of a fever that night, but when he woke up today he said he was feeling better and even had breakfast with us.

The leader answered.

- I guess all the movement made him feel nauseous.

J-Hope took the opportunity to give them a little bit of advice.

- Okay, what I am going to say here is not a lecture ok? Jungwon, as the leader, you need to know every member’s condition, you have the authority to decide whether or not someone is taking part in practice. Of course, you have to talk to the staff before making the best decision.

When he finished his sentence, Jake and Jay walked into the room. The boys gathered around them asking if Jake was alright, the boy gave a quick answer and immediately went to apologize to his sunbae. J-Hope said that he didn’t need to do that and told all of them to sit down, given that Jake wasn’t feeling well. And he sat down as well.

-  Look guys, maybe the staff and the company won't like what I am going to say here but I’m going to be brutally honest. Nothing, nothing, none of this is worth your health. No music, no dance, no show, nothing is worth your health. Your well-being comes first. If you care for your fans as much as you say you do, you need to take care of yourself. Nothing good will come out of you performing while sick or injured and something happening on stage mid-performance. It can be risky to you, and to your members, and it will scare your fans, and you’ll make them worried. It’s best to sit out a few schedules, and a few concerts to treat yourself than to take part in it and worsen your situation, forcing you to take a hiatus, which wouldn’t be needed had you taken care of it earlier. Okay? Remember, your well-being comes before any of this.

The boys looked shocked to hear their sunbae make such a strong statement.

- Now, I’m not lecturing you, just giving some advice, coming from someone who’s been on the run for 8 years. But enough of that. I will give you guys proper individual evaluations at a later date but for now what I can say is that overall all of you improved, your movements are more fluid, your expressions are stronger and your stage presence got way better. I would advise you guys to work on your singing now, given that you evolved in your dancing, your singing abilities need to follow up. You can't come on stage dancing that well and not being able to sing along as well. For now, that’s what I have to say. You guys need to go home, Jake needs to rest. We’ll set up another date so we can get a proper evaluation of all of you, ok?

They all said goodbye to their sunbae and Jake apologized again.

- I’m sorry, sunbaenim.

- There’s no need to apologize. Just focus on getting better, ok? Bye-bye.

As soon as he walked out, the boys went over to check on Jake who had his head in his hands.

- Jake hyung, you okay? – Ni-ki and Sunoo asked

- No…

he said as he felt his stomach’s content making its way up again

– Fuck- pass me the trashcan-

He said in English, which Heeseung was quick to understand, and put the object on the boy’s lap.

Heeseung stayed with Jake rubbing his back while the boy threw up. After he was finished, he started to feel weird, suddenly everything got too much, the lights, the noise, the room, his ears were ringing. His breathing quickened, it felt like he just kept inhaling without getting oxygen. The boys noticed and grew even more concerned.

- Hey, Jake, what’s wrong?

Jay asked, already beside him

- I- I can’t breathe…There’s- there’s too many people… he said in between breaths

- Let’s give him some space

Heeseung said motioning to the boys to get away from the sick boy.

-  I’ll call the manager. – Jungwon said leaving the room.

- Hey, do you want to move to the bathroom? Jay asked.

- I don’t want to move right now, I feel like I’m gonna pass out…- he said holding his head

-  Okay, we’ll leave.

The rest of the boys said as they left the room.

Leaving Jake alone with Jay and Sunghoon.

- Hey, Sunghoon, can you massage his nape for me?

- hm, of course.

Sunghoon kept quiet throughout the whole situation, not because he didn't care, but because he didn't want to do something wrong and make Jake even more annoyed. So when Jay instructed him on what to do, he was quick.

As soon as Sunghoon started massaging Jake's nape, the boy tensed up again, spilling out even more of his stomach's content.

Sunghoon didn't stop what he was doing and Jay went beside Jake to rub his back and try to calm him down, seeing that he was breathing hard again

- Hey, Jake, look at me. I need you to breathe ok? Do it with me. Breathe in 1 2 3 4, hold it 1 2 3 4, and exhale 1 2 3 4. That's it, keep going.

Jake followed along with Jay's instructions until he was breathing normally again.

- There you go, feeling more calm now? Sunghoon asked

- Yeah... sorry for the trouble...

Jake said, voice filled with exhaustion

- There's no need to apologize. We've got you.

- I'm tired...

Jake said as he leaned his weight on Sunghoon.

OUTSIDE THE ROOM

- Oh, Hyung! Jungwon said as the manager answered the phone.

- Oh, Jungwonie. Did you guys finish practice already?

- Yeah, kind of. Jake got sick.

- What? What happened?

- We don't know, he got sick while we were dancing and he threw up 3 times.

- Okay, wait for me. I'll be right there.

- Okay.

- What did he say?

The boys asked Jungwon as soon as he finished the call.

- He's coming here.

The boys went back to the room to find Jake resting on Sunghoon's shoulder and Jay gathering their things.

- The manager is on his way. - Jungwon said coming closer to the trio.

- How is Jake hyung doing? Ni-ki asked with a concerned expression.

- I don't know but he is a little bit more calm now. Jay answered.

A few minutes later the manager got to the room to assess the situation and talk to the boys.

- Hey, guys. Hey Jake, how are you doing?

The manager asked kneeling in front of the boy.

- I feel dizzy, tired and nauseous.

Jake answered not daring to move a muscle, scared that by doing so his stomach would act up again.

- Okay. I'll go talk to the company to cancel the rest of your schedules for the week. Meanwhile, gather your stuff and wait for me in the other room, it's more comfortable there.

- Understood.

- Jake, do you think you can stand up?

Sunghoon asked.

- I think so...

The boy tried to, but his body felt way heavier than he thought. Seeing his struggle, the boys helped him up, careful to not make him even more dizzy, and made their way to the other room.

Jake sat on the couch with Heeseung and Sunghoon by his side, while the others went to buy a sports drink for Jake.

For a while, Jake was calm, the nausea was barely there and he thought he was starting to get better and that all of that could've just been something bad he ate earlier.

Deep down he knew it wasn't the case since the other members were fine, but he tried to hold on to that thought.

The boys came back with a sports drink for Jake, who took it gratefully, the ordeal earlier left his throat dry and raspy, and he was craving for some sort of drink. He took small sips, which his stomach agreed with, and then settled the bottle aside and leaned back on the couch again.

A few minutes after he started to feel his stomach twisting again, the feeling went up to his throat and he quickly sat straight, one hand on his chest and the other tightly gripping Heeseung's hand. He started swallowing convulsively again, trying his best to hold everything in, at least until he could go to the restroom. When he finally managed to swallow it down he asked his hyung for help.

- hyung...can you take me to the bathroom?

He asked taking his hand to cover his mouth.

- Let's go.

Heeseung was quick to help Jake up and guide him to the bathroom. As soon as they got there they went straight into one of the stalls, where Jake immediately threw up, and before he could catch his breath, another wave came up making him sway on his feet again and kneel in front of the toilet.

As he continued to spill his stomach's contents, which by now was basically bile and water, one of the TXT members walked in to find both his hoobaes on the bathroom floor.

- oh my god! Are you guys okay?

Heeseung was startled for a moment, because of the sudden presence of another person and also by the sound of more vomit splattering on the toilet.

- Oh! Soobin hyung!

- What's wrong with Jake? Is he okay?

Soobin asked, clearly worried and walking closer to the duo

- It started about an hour ago, during practice. We don't know what's happening.

Heeseung said as he continued to rub Jake's back.

- H-Heeseung hyung... I think I'm done...

- Okay, let's go. Let's rinse your mouth.

Soobin was quick to help Jake up to his feet and held him close since he swayed when he stood up.

- Thanks Soobin Hyung, sorry for the trouble.

The boys said to the oldest.

- Oh no, you don't need to apologize. If you need any help you can contact us at any time.

- Thank you, Soobin hyung.

The boys left the bathroom and went back to the room and found the manager arriving just in time as well.

- Did he throw up again?

The manager asked.

- Yes, it's the fourth time now.

- Okay. I talked to the company, and your schedules have been canceled for the rest of the week. If by Monday, Jake's still not recovered he will remain resting and you guys will return to your normal schedules. Now we'll go to the hospital to figure out what's happening. Jake, can you walk?

- I feel dizzy, I don't think I can.

- Okay, I'll give you a piggyback ride to the car. Let's go. The manager said, getting the boy on his back.

The boys all settled in the car, Jake sitting closer to the door with Ni-Ki in case something happened while the others sat randomly.

The ride was quite peaceful, Jake tried to keep looking forward so that the movement of the landscape wouldn't make him feel nauseous. And it seemed to be working well, until the manager passed a spring breaker without noticing which made the car move abruptly, leading to Jake's stomach acting up again.

He could feel the burning sensation coming up his throat and saliva pooling inside his mouth. He started swallowing convulsively again, and he grabbed Ni-ki's hand unknowingly and gripped tight, which Ni-ki noticed.

- Hyung? What is it? Do you feel sick again?

The younger asked, squeezing Jake's hand to reassure him he was there.

- Y-yes. P-pull over. He managed to say before he gagged into his hand.

- Hyung! Stop the car! Jungwon told the manager.

They managed to stop at a rest area. Thankfully not so far from the hospital.

Jake stumbled out of the car, bending over as he immediately threw up, using his hands on his knees to not lose balance.

Sunghoon and Ni-ki went over to hold him by the waist as another wave made him arch his back, making him lose his balance.

- We've got you. Dont worry.

Sunghoon said, rubbing Jake's back and removing his sweaty bangs from his forehead.

The other members went to the convenience store to buy him something to drink.

- Here. Drink this. It's a sports drink, your favorite flavor. I think it might help you a little.

Jay said handing him the bottle.

Jake gratefully took the drink, given that his mouth tasted vile. His stomach decided to accept it, for now, apparently giving him a brake.

They waited a few more minutes until Jake felt safe to get into the car again and made their way to the hospital.

AT THE HOSPITAL

- Good afternoon! How are you guys doing?

The doctor who examined Jake was already known to take care of the members' health.

- Hello, doctor. We're well... I guess.

Jungwon and Jay were the ones, along with the manager, who entered the room with Jake.

- what happened with Jake?

The doctor asked, getting up to take his vitals.

- He had a mild fever last night and today during practice he started to vomit.

- How many times did he throw up?

- About five now

- Okay, that's concerning. Jake, what are you feeling right now?

The boy was still feeling nauseous and the thought of having to answer was making the sensation even worse. He took a few breaths in and when the feeling died down a bit he answered.

- Really nauseous....my head hurts and I feel a little dizzy...

- I see. Well. You are running a fever now, it's 37.5 °C. And your blood pressure is rather low.

Here's what we're gonna do. I will take a few blood samples so we can know what's going on. I think it's probably a stomach bug. While we wait for the results, you'll stay here on I.V. drips, since you can't keep anything down and you're getting dehydrated.

But before the doctor could finish what she/he was saying, Jake's nausea increased and made him gag into his hand.

- I-I'm sorry- I'm gonna be sick-

He manages to say before a stream of water and bile hits the bin, which thankfully the doctor managed to put on his lap. Before he could take a breath, another wave came up, hurting his already sore throat, Jungwon was rubbing his hyung's back through the whole ordeal.

- I'm sorry....

he said wiping his mouth and taking a sip of water.

- No, don't worry! You can lay down there, I'll get the I.V. drop ready. It might make you a little nauseous. I'll be back in 40 minutes.

40 MINUTES PASS

- Okay, I got the results. As I suspected, it's a stomach flu/bug. I'll give you a prescription for the nausea and one for the fever. Don't take any of them on an empty stomach, okay? We don't want to further irritate your stomach. The fever reducer only take them if the fever is past 37,6°C, if not, let the body do its work. Other than that, I'll give you some advice. Drink lots of water, and sports drinks as well, it'll keep you hydrated. You can also drink mint tea, ginger tea, or lemongrass tea, they'll also help with the nausea, but don't put any sugar. You can eat some soup, with very little seasoning to not trigger the nausea. And also bread, if you're feeling really hungry but you're afraid of eating anything with the littlest of seasoning, bread will help you. It's got no seasoning other than salt and it'll also help with your stomach acid.

- Thank you, doctor! The boys said together.

- This should take about 4-5 days to get better. If by the fifth day, you're still throwing up, come back here so we can run more tests.

- Understood.

- Great! Get well soon Jake, I hope I don't see you in five days (the doctor said giggling). But do contact me so I'll know how he's doing. Oh! One more thing before you leave. Take this (the doctor said giving them a sick bag). Trust me, it'll be of great help on your way home.

- Thank you, doctor!

They left the hospital and Jungwon updated the members on Jake's condition. The boys were still worried but relieved that they now knew what to do.

- Jake, do you want to go straight home or can we stop by the drugstore to buy your medicines? (The manager asked)

- We can go to the drugstore first.... the sick boy answered clearly exhausted by the whole ordeal.

The ride to the drugstore and the dorm obviously wasn't peaceful with Jake getting sick twice. The boys were very, very grateful to the doctor for giving them the sick bag.

AT THE DORM

Sunghoon and Jungwon helped Jake walk to the dorm. After throwing up more than 6 times, the boy could barely keep his eyes open, or move his legs, they felt like jelly.

- Finally, we're home!

They said letting out a big sigh of relief. Jake was now at home and he could be properly taken care of.

- Jake, what you wanna do now?

- I wanna take a bath, I feel really gross...

- Okay, Sunghoon and I will stay with you.

Jay said getting closer to the boy and wrapping his hand around his waist.

- We'll make something for him to eat. Heeseung said walking to the kitchen with the other boys.

While Sunghoon and Jay were in the bathroom with Jake, Jungwon got a phone call.

- oh! It's Soobin hyung! He said, while his eyes widened in surprise.

The others gathered around him as he put the phone on speaker.

- Oh! Jungwon! How are you guys? Did you get home safely?

- Soobin hyung! We're good! We just got back home.

- How's Jake? Did you guys go to the hospital?

- yes. It's a stomach bug/flu. The doctor gave some prescriptions for medicine and said that it should take about 4 days until he is better.

- I see. Well, at least it's nothing serious. I also called to say that Taehyun was making him some soup.

- oh! There was no need to, sunbaenims are busy.

- he insisted heheh. He said he would do it with very light seasoning. It will be ready in about 40 minutes. We'll go deliver it to you guys.

If you need any help, don't hesitate to ask!

- Thank you Hyung!

IN THE BATHROOM

Jay and Sunghoon decided to help Jake to the shower, as it would be safer that way, given that the sick boy threw up about seven times that day and could barely stand. They were never as grateful as now for having a bathtub.

- Guys....you don't need to be here..... I'm okay...

- No. Nope. No way. You're not passing out on me. No no. We'll stay here, whether you like it or not.

- But... it's embarrassing...

- just cover up then. Come on.

- Get in the bathtub. It's safer this way.

Sunghoon said guiding Jake to sit on the bathtub.

- Okay.... but... leave the bin closed. I don't want to puke on the water I'm bathing with.

- Okay.

The shower was going smoothly until Jake started feeling nauseous again. He shut his eyes and squeezed his hands so tight his knuckles turned white. His breathing labored which caught the boys' attention.

- Hey, Jake, are you feeling sick again?

Sunghoon asked getting closer to him and putting his hand on his shoulder.

Jake was feeling so weak he only managed to nod before gagging.

Thankfully Sunghoon was quick enough to get the bin under Jake's chin before the boy threw up for the eighth time that day. As was expected, only bile and water came out, and even after there was nothing left to come up, his body insisted on convulsing and arching his back which was getting annoyingly painful. But thank heavens Sunghoon kept his hand on Jake's back throughout the whole ordeal.

Seeing his friend in distress Jay decided to help Jake, as he saw the boy's face go pale.

- Hey hey hey. You're not passing out on me, remember? Here, lean your back here. Breathe with me okay? Come on. Breathe in four, hold for, and exhale four.

After a few minutes following Jay's instructions, the color had returned to Jake's face and he felt like he had control of his body again.

- There you go. Feeling better?

- Yeah...a little... thanks.

- let's just try to relax a bit more before we get out okay? Lean your back there, I'm gonna warm up the water a little bit more. There, how is it?

- Woah, relaxing....

Jake said with a tired smile on his face, the first one since all of the ordeal started.

- Great. Let's stay like this for a while, hm? Just feel the water trailing down your back and keep breathing...

A few minutes passed until Jake was finally well enough to come out of the bath without fainting.

While they were in the bathroom the others were quick to get Jake's bed ready so that everything he would have to do now was rest.

Jay and Sunghoon helped him settle down on the bed and make sure he was feeling a little bit better.

- Thanks, guys.... I'm sorry for the trouble...

- There's no need to thank us. We're brothers remember?

Jay said with a smile putting his hand on the sick boy's shoulder.

- How are you feeling?

- Relaxed... I needed that bath, I was feeling really gross. I'm feeling refreshed at least.

- That's good. I need to go finish some things. I'll come back later.

Jay said leaving the boy with Sunghoon.

They all decided to take turns to stay with Jake, to keep him company and also to make sure he would be safe.

Sunghoon was the first one to stay in the bedroom. Despite everything, Jake wasn't really sleepy, he felt tired but not enough to fall asleep. So they just talked. In fact, Jake asked Sunghoon to keep chatting with him so he could distract himself from the nausea. It wasn't gone but it wasn't as strong as before.

The idea worked. Jake was lying down on the bed and Sunghoon was sitting comfortably next to him, chatting until it was time for another member to come in.

Now it was Ni-ki, and he had bought some things with him.

- Hi, hyung. How are you feeling?

- A bit nauseous but better overall I guess... What's that?

He asked pointing to what was in Ni-ki's hands.

- This is something my mom used to do whenever I got sick or had headaches. You said you had a headache, right Hyung?

- Hmm...

- This will help. It's hot water mixed with some herbs. The mix should help with relieving the pain and I hope the smell will help with your nausea.

- Thanks Ni-Ki.

Ni-Ki carefully placed the wet clothes over Jake's forehead and eyes and it did feel heavenly. It helped relax the tenseness he felt and the nausea as well, it didn't take long before he was fast asleep.

About 3 hours later, Jake woke up, feeling better like he really needed that sleep. It took some time for him to take in his surroundings since he still had the wet cloth on his forehead but he looked to the side and found Jay on his phone.

- hey.

- oh! You're awake. Did you sleep well?

- Yeah. That wet cloth Ni-Ki bought really helped.

- How are you feeling now?

- Better.

- And the nausea?

- Barely there. It feels almost gone now.

- Thank goodness. We were thinking of watching a movie now since it's raining. Want to join us?

- Yes. I think getting distracted will help.

- then let's go.

The boys all gathered in the living room, some of them had bowls of popcorn, others some other snacks, and Jake settled for a bottle of water. Even though he was feeling better, popcorn and such probably wouldn't be a good choice for his stomach.

They turned off the lights and put the movie to play. It was an action/horror genre, very suited for a stormy noon. They were all enjoying it, with the scared cats jumping every once in a while, bringing much amusement to the brave ones. Jake was part of the scaredy-cat group, and despite being jumpy, he was enjoying the movie for a while.

But after 1 hour, he started to feel funny again, the brightness from the TV along with the flashing from the movie and the smell of popcorn and chips started to kick in. He felt his head begin to throb again and the nausea that was controlled had come back in full force. He took a small sip of his water and sunk into the couch, eyes fixed anywhere else but the TV. He gripped the fabric of his pants until his knuckles turned white as he began swallowing convulsively. He managed to swallow the urge to vomit and relaxed but that moment of peace only lasted for a few seconds. Another strong wave of nausea enrolled him, making him repeat the process, swallowing convulsively and trying to take deep breaths. Jay who was sitting by his side noticed the sudden change in behaviour.

- Hey, Jake, bro are you okay?

- N-no-

He answered and immediately gagged wetly into his hand making Jay spring into action.

- Shit! Let's go to the bathroom.

He said helping Jake up and darting to the bathroom with him, leaving the other six completely shocked.

Jake went straight to the toilet and bent over as a thick stream of vomit gushed out of him, some hitting his hands and the edges of the toilet and splashing inside the bowl with a sickening sound.

- Easy bro.

Jay said as he rubbed Jake's back and the sick boy let out a wet burp that brought up an even thicker wave of vomit mixing inside the bowl. And to add to his misery, the fever that seemingly gone seemed to have returned. He could feel his body burn, even Jay's hand felt both comforting and painful because of the fever. And Jay noticed through the touch that the fever might've spiked.

- I think your fever spiked again.

He said brushing Jake's bangs out of the way and placing a hand on his forehead.

- yep. It's definitely high.

By now, the others were in the bathroom that Jay forgot to close, clearly worried about Jake's condition.

- How is he?

Jungwon asked voice filled with worry and a slight tone of fear. He was the leader but he was also the second youngest.

- Not good. I think his fever is high again.

- I'll get a thermometer.

Heeseung said already leaving.

Jake choked and started coughing making his head throb in pain which left him lightheaded. He swayed forward and Jay secured him and guided him to kneel in front of the toilet.

- There you go. I don't want you passing out on me.

As soon as he was kneeling, he jerked forward as another wave of pale brown vomit made its way out.

Heeseung came back with the thermometer and handed it to Jay.

- 38.3°C. It's really high. You'll have to take the medication.

- I don't think I can...

- Try to take some anti-emetic first and then you take the other.

- I'll try.

Jake threw up one more time before he was left dry heaving over the toilet.

- I think you're done. Let's rinse your mouth and get you to bed.

Jay helped him to the sink, he rinsed his mouth and the boys took him to the bedroom. They got some sports drinks and the pills for the sick boy.

He managed to take both but the boys placed a bucket in his lap just in case. And indeed, taking the medication triggered his stomach but he managed to control it and didn't throw up.

They left the bucket near the bed, helped him lie down, and covered him.

Ni-Ki had school the other day but he made sure his hyung was taken care of and made the same mix from before to help him. He put the wet cloth on his forehead covering his eyes and then went to sleep.

Jay slept with him and woke up every now and then to check Jake's temperature and help him through vomiting episodes.

Just like the doctor said, Jake spent 4 days throwing up a few times during the day and night but the boys were there to help throughout the process until his recovery.

[snowbaamgyu]

Dyk about jay getting food poisoning (?) recently?

he looks really uncomfortable in the fansign and complained to one of the fans that he said he ate seafood and his stomach hurts and nauseating. Also telling her that he feels like throwing up.

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSMSCJfnN/

He also left the fansign early. My mind kept imagining he left suddenly bcs he wanted to throw up and physically cant hold it anymore.

so.. sickfic idea?

Be strong

My very first enhypen request!! This didn't take too long I think but I hope it's enjoyable

"Okay guys, go to your rooms and rest for the fan meeting tomorrow" one of the Enhypen's manager said, at their hotel Sunoo and Jungwon, Sunghoon and Ni-ki shared a room, as well as Jay and Jake, Heeseung used his hyung privileges and got a room to himself.

Jay ordered some room service for dinner as Jake finished showering, he was in the mood for seafood so, why not? "You want something to eat too?" Jay asked as Jake came out of the bathroom, as he received a confirmation from the aussie he ordered some more.

The food arrived, Jake ordered some fried chicken with beer, Jay a mix of seafood with some salad. They ate as a movie played on their TV, laughing and making some jokes, but as time passed, Jay noticed he was beginning to feel full even though he ate less than what he usually does, still, he finished his meal with a sigh. "You good?" Jake asked, Jay just shrugged "feel like I ate a lot but I know it wasn't that big of a meal" sighing again, Jay leaned back onto his pillows and covered himself more with the blankets. "Maybe it's because you're tired, try to get some sleep for tomorrow" Jake said as he turned the TV off and left aside all the dishes they used.

They got ready for bed fell asleep but a couple of hours later Jay woke up to a dull pain on his stomach, nothing really painful but still there. Trying to fall asleep again took a while as some more discomfort made its way through his body but at the end he slept some more.

At the crack of dawn both boys woke up to get ready for their schedule, but as soon as Jay got completely conscious he noticed the burning pain and nausea that hit him so suddenly, as fast as he could he ran to the bathroom and retched, he didn't make it to the toilet so the bathtub received all the damage.

Jake woke up hearing awful retching and a splash that definitely was not into the toilet, so he got up as fast as he could without getting all dizzy only to find Jay hovering over the bathtub getting sick.

"Oh, what's wrong?" the aussie asked, but Jay clearly couldn't really answer at that moment, after a couple more heaves he finally rasped "I think it's the food from last night" Jake rubbed his back, he looked so pale and weak, eyebrows furrowed and eyes closed, his legs were getting weak by the second so Jake had to guide him to the floor, most likely in front of the toilet just in case, also rinsing the previous mess laying on the tub.

"We have the fansign today, but I don't think management will let you skip it, they're assholes" Jake mumbled and Jay chuckled a bit at that, nodding and sighing, of course he had to get food poisoning right when they had to attend such an important schedule.

"Are you feeling better? Or are you going to be sick again?" Jay barely registered Jake's words as he opened the toilet lid just in time to be sick once again, Jake winced at that and ran to get his phone, not wanting to leave Jay alone for long he returned as fast as he could.

Jay continued throwing up, this time it felt worse, the waves coming with much more force than previously, Jake quickly dialed their manager's number, telling him what's wrong.

"I'm really sorry for saying this but he still has to come, we can't cancel this on the very day of the schedule" Jake winced, an angry frown forming on his face "I know, but he's really sick, he won't be able to stay for long" he heard a sigh from the other side of the call "I'll see what I can do, but it's most likely he'll have to attend and then leave, the fans will understand it better and will be touched that Jay still pushed through it all to meet them" okay, now Jake was fully mad and upset that he couldn't do anything for Jay, so he ended the call, it was impossible to win an argument with them.

Jake notified the rest of the members about what happened and their responses were the same as Jake's. He turned his attention back to Jay who seemed to be done, rubbing his back up and down to soothe him just for a little at least. "What did they say?" Jay asked after catching his breath, Jake had to tell him the bad news. "Well, you still have to go, but if you're sick enough they'll let you skip it. Isn't that a brilliant decision?" he faked his amusement. Jay sighed, knowing too well how things worked there.

He indeed wasn't feeling better for the time they arrived at the venue where the fansign would take place, the ride on the car made him queasy and he knew he wouldn't last for long. The medical staff gave him some medicine but because it was food poisoning his body had to take care of it by getting rid of everything. At least for now he wasn't that queasy, he could hold on for a while.

By the time the event started, Jay was feeling kinda better, but as time passed he felt worse.

"Is something wrong? You don't look so well..." an engene asked, Jay knew he couldn't brush it off so he decided to be honest "I'm feeling stomach discomfort, and nausea, it's something I ate so I can't do anything about it" the engene sympathized with him, leaving after telling him to drink warm water and to feel better soon.

Unfortunately, Jay had to endure his pain and nausea until the event was over, after everyone left he ran to the bathroom and once again threw up what remained in him. As the schedule was over, the rest of the members made sure the well being of Jay was the first priority of everyone in their team so he could get better.

[crinkled-emotions]

jake + 25 (from the 2022 list) or Jake + 1 (2024 list)

maybe with bradley as unwilling/less than thrilled caretaker if you’d like? (or not i don’t really mind im just happy to be here hehe💛💛)

Anon please know I never forgot this, it just took me so much longer because I dislocated my shoulder at reformer pilates 🤦‍♂️. I also went away for three weeks but that's mostly unrelated.

Jake + 1 "I'm not hungover, just sick" (or vice versa)

I saw twisters before I went to Victoria for a month and GIRL (gn) if I wasn't so stale with my writing I'd be smashing out all the fics about that dude with a huge... cowboy hat.

Resting his body against the doorframe to the ensuite in a move all too familiar, Rooster raised an eyebrow.

"How many did you have last night?"

Hangman, better known as Jake, sweetheart, or asshole depending on who he was terrorising, slowly lifted his head from the toilet.

"Roo, didn't you ever learn it's rude to ask a lady that?"

Bradley leaned down, offering him a hand.

"Nothing's rude when it's you. C'mon, I've got toast for you."

Jake grumbled, wrapping an arm around Bradley's shoulder and letting him take most of his weight as they headed for their bedroom door. His stomach flipped and Jake grasped Bradley's shoulder.

"Stop, wait."

Rooster did as asked, frowning as he rubbed slow circles on his partner's back. They stood still for a moment while Jake tried to keep his insides... inside. Considering it was still relatively early in the morning, they could afford to take the morning routine at a slower pace.

"I'm gonna puke again," Jake complained. Bradley sighed, turning them back toward the bathroom.

-

Taking a seat beside Rooster in the meeting room, Phoenix leaned over to whisper to him.

"Hangman was really drunk last night; you two good?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. I didn't realise he was that fucked up."

"Dude."

Phoenix sent Rooster a look, reaching for her pen.

"Do you not remember when he landed himself on your lap and didn't say a word for the rest of the night?"

Rooster did in fact remember that; he'd been in the middle of a conversation with Coyote and Bob when Jake had ambled over and plonked himself right on Bradley's lap. He'd then turned his head from the group and stayed there the rest of the night. In all honesty, Bradley just figured the alcohol had hit him a little harder than he'd expected but he couldn't remember Jake drinking that much.

"And then when he puked in the parking lot-"

That Bradley didn't remember.

"Wait- what?"

Phoenix's eyebrows furrowed and she tilted her head.

"Wait; did Jake not tell you?"

"When was this?"

Phoenix thought for a moment.

"It was really early. Fanboy ran back to his truck to grab his wallet and saw Jake tossing cookies."

Rooster checked the time on his phone, glancing toward the door. Jake had said he was going to the bathroom before their meeting but that had been almost ten minutes ago. Phoenix gently nudged his side.

"Go see if he's okay."

"I hate when he doesn't tell me shit. I'll be back."

Rooster stood, grabbing his water bottle from his bag and exiting the meeting room.

-

The men's room was a little too quiet for Bradley to be confident Jake wasn't in there. For someone who was the life of every party ever, the minute he wasn't feeling well he got... sneaky. Bradley was so used to it he walked to the furthest stall from the entrance to the bathrooms and gently knocked on the door.

"Can you let me in?" He requested. The lock clicked and Bradley found Jake sitting on the closed toilet lid, looking mildly unimpressed.

"Do you know my dump schedule or something?"

"Sure. C'mon, I'm taking you home."

"Did you clear it with Maverick?"

Bradley raised an eyebrow as if to say dude c'mon. Jake stood.

"Fine."

"Fine," Rooster mocked as he put his arm around Jake's waist and led him out of the (mildly disgusting) bathrooms. As an afterthought he swiped his hand across his boyfriend's forehead and Jake instantly recoiled.

"What are you, my mother?"

"Your mom doesn't hold a candle to me."

They shared a look. Jake stepped back into Bradley's arms, silent as the taller of the pair directed them to the exit.

-

"Now, here's what I'm thinking."

"Wow, did it hurt?"

"That's so cute."

Rooster leaned on the doorframe to the bathroom in a manner similar to that morning with an unamused look on his face, down to only wearing his boxers and a t-shirt. They'd come home and Jake had immediately started vomiting again (in the laundry sink, of all the places) so Bradley had called out for the day, a little worried he'd missed something a little more severe than a mildly unimpressed stomach. When they'd migrated upstairs it had triggered another bout of dry heaving. Jake, having shifted from on his knees by the toilet to sitting beside it with his eyes closed, grimaced.

"If I ever give Tasha shit for puking when she's drunk again, shoot me."

"Never."

Bradley stopped by the sink to grab a damp washcloth and, in a move he remembered his mom doing when he was younger, gently placed it on the back of Jake's neck.

"Are you going to be a pain in the ass if I take you to urgent care tonight?"

"I suddenly feel better," Jake deadpanned. His eyes remained closed. Bradley sighed.

"I expected as much. Go get in bed, I'll get you water."

"Roos."

Rooster paused, brushing his hand through his boyfriend's hair.

"I know."

-

It was like the world stopped spinning the second Jake got himself horizontal in bed. He'd been up and down all night, desperate not to wake his insomniac at best boyfriend, making frantic dashes in order not to hurl on the carpet in their bedroom. By the time Bradley's alarm had gone off there had been no hiding the smell of puke in their ensuite and the jig was up. Considering the night before, Bradley had just assumed he was hungover and that was how Jake wanted it. If he was hungover Bradley tended to be a lot less sympathetic and the last thing Jake wanted was to worry him.

Lying flat on his back, eyes closed, he kind of wished Bradley wasn't such a good person. It could be suffocating sometimes, coming from parents who were emotionally detached at best, to someone who loved with their whole heart. When Jake brought up how easy Bradley found it to love people he always credited his mom and her big heart.

"Here, I got water and crackers."

Jake opened his eyes just enough to catch a glimpse of said boyfriend coming into their room, pausing by his side of the bed with something before rounding to Jake and gently cupping the back of his neck.

"Sit up, you need to drink some of this."

Jake did as asked, relieved when Bradley's hand didn't move from it's spot. He offered the bottle of water and Jake hesitantly took a couple of sips, grimacing when it lit a spark of nausea and impending doom in him. When he didn't start gagging again he had another few sips then handed it back to his boyfriend. Bradley sat on the edge of the bed by his legs, squeezing Jake's hand.

"How are you feeling?"

"Rough," Jake finally admitted, "I thought I was hungover."

"I'm sorry, baby, I thought you were hungover too. How long have you been feeling like this?"

Jake shrugged.

"Couple days- the puking started last night, Roos, I swear if it started earlier I wouldn't have been drinking."

"Gatorade coming your way."

Bradley handed over the bottle, cool enough to soothe his throat but not enough to make his stomach hurt. Jake took slow sips, leaning against his boyfriend's shoulder when Bradley shifted to sit beside him.

"I'm just hungover," Bradley scoffed with a snort as he reached for his phone. Jake elbowed him in the ribs.

"Don't be mean, I'm sick."

"And now he's sick!"

"Roos."

Jake levelled his boyfriend with his best innocent face and Bradley sighed as he pulled Jake into his side.

"You're lucky you're not an asshole all the time."

[blueandbetaraptors]

Can you do a sick fic with Skye and Everest?

They are both my favourite characters! :)

Sure! I hope this is ok!

Two sick pups

It was a blistering hot day at Adventure bay, the Paw Patrol was cooling off at the pool, except Rocky, he was laying down near the pool but not close enough to get wet, he hated getting wet, so instead Ryder set up some fans for him to stay cool his own way. Ryder sat at the edge of the pool with his feet in while he watched Zuma and rubble played water vollyball with Marshall, skye and chase.

“I got it! I got it!” Marshall yelled but right as he went to swat the ball over the net Skye sneezed and propelled her backwards, Marshall misjudged his leap and ended up getting tangled in the net instead of hitting the ball. Then the ball bounced off Marshall’s head and back into the pool.

“You ok Skye?” Asked Chase.

“Yea! I’m great!” She yiped. But she didn’t admit to the pups that she was feeling a bit more tired than usual and her nose stuffed, she also wasn’t as hungry as usual.

“Um guys, a little help? Our game is a bit.. tied up” Marshall said.

“Coming dude” zuma said and paddled over and helped him get untangled.

Meanwhile over at Jake’s mountain, Jake and Everest were in the cabin, the sun was beating down so hard it melted the snow so the ski resort had to close down because it wasn’t safe, the Paw Patrol already had to rescue two snowboarders who ended up mud-boarding instead. Jake noticed something was off with Everest,

“Hey Everest, are you ok?” Jake asked.

“I’m ok jake, just *cough* just a little tired* cough cough cough* the husky replied, panting trying to cool off. The coughing made her week.

“That’s not good, we better call Ryder to come check you out”

“Don’t bother Ryder *cough* I’m probably just tired” Everest responded but she knew something was wrong.

“Hey Everest, someone is trapped up at the ski lift, wanna come help me or do you need to rest?”

“Ice or snow, I’m ready to go!” The husky said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.

“Let’s get going” Jake said.

During the rescue, Jake could tell that his winter pup wasn’t all there. He could tell that she was lethargic and possibly sick. The heat probably wasn’t helping as she was a husky, a dog breed that prefers the cold than the heat due to the extra fur.

Suddenly he sees Everest go to a tree and throw up her breakfast.

“Everest! Are you ok?” he asked as he rubbed her hot fur. Hot fur! He knew that Everest was in bad shape. She was overheating and possibly sick!

“Sorry Jake, guess I ate too fast. I did..nt mean to worry you.” Everest responded stopping a second as a wave of dizziness passed.

“Everest we should get you back to the cabin.”

“Sure thing Jake.” Everest responded but then her paws went weak and she fell on her belly.

“Everest!” Exclaimed Jake as he rushed to his beloved pup. “I’ll get you to the cabin, then I’ll call Ryder.” Jake said as he picked up his sick pup and headed to the cabin.

Back at Adventure bay,

Skye was feeling a bit sicker, her stomach was churning and she felt even hotter even while in the pool. Suddenly Ryders PupPad went off.

“Ryder here!” He answered.

“Ryder! It’s Jake! I need your help! Everest is sick! Or overheating or something. Dude I don’t know what to do, she threw up her breakfast during a rescue and then she collapsed and I need help!”

“Oh no! That’s not good! We will be right there Jake! No job is too big no pup is too small!” Ryder said as he slides his pad out and hits the button.

“Paw Patrol to the Look out!”

The pups tags ring out and all the pups exclaim,

“Ryders calling!”

And they take off to the lookout. Skye runs a bit slower because she was struggling to breath because she kept coughing.

Marshall runs into a squeaky toy and flips over and over and bowls over the other pups in the elevator,

“Guess I really, rolled in this time” the pups laugh and shake their heads.

The elevator lifts them into the look out with their assigned pup gear on their backs.

“Paw patrol ready for action Ryder sir!” Chase proudly calls out.

*cough* suddenly Skye coughs

“Are you feeling alright Skye?” Asks Ryder, concern evident in his voice.

“I’m good Ryder! Sorry.”

“Alright then, pups, we have a big problem! Everest is sick! Jake called and said she’s showing signs of heat exhaustion and some sort of illness.

Marshall! I’ll need you and your EMT gear to check out Everest! Rubble! I’ll need you and your digger to help us make it up the mountain in case we get a problem with mud. “

“I’m ready for a ruff ruff rescue!”

“Rubble on the double!”

“Alright paw patrol is on a roll!” Ryder yells as he runs past and slides down his pole and the two pups rush down the slide to their trucks.

Ryder and the two pups rush over to Jake’s mountain.

Ryder rushes in to the cabin where Jake is sitting by a very pale and sick looking Everest.

“Marshall you know what to do.”

“Ruff! Thermometer!” The Dalmatian barked and a thermometer popped out of his pup pack and he gently slipped it into the weak pup’s mouth.

“Ryder! She’s got a high temperature! We need ice! “ the pup called.

“Jake! Do you have any ice or anything really really cold in your freezer?” Ryder asked.

“You bet!”

“Rubble help Jake get the ice!”

“Ryder we need to get her in a tub with water. We need to cool her off quickly but also slowly because if you do it too fast you can cause more problems.” Marshall called.

“Got it!” Ryder picks up Everest and takes her into the tub and turns the water on.

Ryder, Jake, Marshall and Rubble work together to help bring down Everests body temp.

“Ok, she’s at a safe temp, she’s still feverish but not at risk for any serious danger. Jake I think Everest has the flu but also heat exhaustion which was only worsening due to the fever. She needs lots of rest, cool water to drink and try to get her to eat small bites of food to help her energy. “

“Thanks Ryder! And you too Marshall! And you too Rubble. I don’t know what I would have done without Everest!” Jake said with gratitude.

“No problem Jake! If you ever need help just…” Ryder stops mid sentence as he gets a call on his PupPad. Chases badge shows up then his face pops on the screen

“Chase? What’s wrong?”

“Ryder! You need to get back! Skye is sick! She said she was ok but she just threw up and she’s panting really hard.” Chase said, close to tears.

“We are on the way Chase!” Ryder said,” Marshall, rubble! Let’s roll!” He called as he ran to his ATV. Him and the pups take off back to the look out.

Ryder and the pups get back to the lookout and rush to where the rest of the pups and whimpering in concern over Skye who is curled up on a pillow panting and whining in pain.

“Ruff! Thermometer!” Marshall barks out and gently sticks the thermometer into skyes mouth.

“Ryder, she has similar symptoms as Everest just milder, someone grab a bowl of cold water but not too cold.” Marshall says. Chase rushes off.

“Skye, why didn’t you say you felt sick?” Ryder asks as he knelt by his sick pup and stoked her soft fur.

“I..I thought I was just tired.” Skye squeaked out. Chase brought in the cold water bowl and gently brought over to Skye.

“Skye you need to try to drink some water.”

“I’ll help you.” Ryder gently lifted his pup to her paws and held her while she slowly lapped the water.

“Don’t drink too fast or too much or you might get sick again.” Said Marshall, looking concerned as he sat with his EMT heard ready to jump in if she got worse.

Ryder helped Skye lay back down.

“She will be ok Ryder, I think she has the flu and mild heat exhaustion, she should start getting better tomorrow.” Marshall said as he walked over.

“Let’s get some rest pups, it’s been a long day, we need to be at our best to help Skye get better. I’m gonna stay with Skye tonight and if any pups wanna join that’s good with me. Marshall, I need you to keep your EMT gear near incase Skye gets worse, or incase Everest needs you.” That’s ok Ryder, I’ll be here.” Marshall responds to Ryder.

Everyone curled up by Skye and Ryder laid next to her and let her curl up by his side. He sighed and hopes that his pup would be ok.

-time jump-

“Take it easy Skye, you are still getting over being really sick.” Ryder says as he watches Skye run out the lookout doors finally being aloud back outside after being in bed for a week.

“I feel great Ryder!” Skye responds and flips into the air.

“Just take it easy, your body is still recovering.” Marshall echos.

Suddenly a buzzing noise can be heard and they see a blue white and orange vehicle coming up to the lookout.

“I wonder who that might be.” Ryder says.

Suddenly Everest and her snowcat comes into view.

“Ryder! Pups! Look at me!” Everest jumps out and runs into Ryder’s arms.

“Hey! Looks like you’re feeling better!” Ryder responds as he catches the pup.

“I hated being cooped up all week, we finally have snow again.” Everest yips excitedly.

“Glad to hear it Everest!” Ryder says as he sets the pup down.

“Ryder can we go play in the snow?” Asks Chase.

“Yall are such good pups I don’t see why not but Skye, Everest please take it slow, both of yall are still healing. But go have fun!” Ryder says and the pups bark in excitement and the bound off into the vehicles and drive up to Jake’s mountain.

[passive-agression]

Sooo.. I remembered a thing..

I remmebered that my favourite tropes are sick character tropes and I am now DROWINGING in headcannons and possibly also spent three hours last night thumbnailing an Adventure Time comic... the brainrot is real

[techypen]

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ jake x y/n - anxiety ࿐ྂ

Y/n was never far from jake, his presence was something that she couldn't live without. This specific day he had gone to do a recording, his company made it very clear they didn't want y/n there. Of course she understood where they were coming from but she missed jake more than anything.

As the day wore on y/n could feel her anxiety spike and all she wanted was to be in Jake's arms.

Y/n decided to leave Jake a message, the chances of him replying were slim but it was worth a shot.

Before y/n even got the chance to send a message she got a phone call from Jake, her eyes lit up as she answered the phone.

"Sweetheart, I'm gonna be home soon, everything alright?" Jake spoke his senses telling him that y/n needed him.

"I'm okay, how long are you gonna be?" Y/n replied trying to keep her voice as stable as she could.

"Love, your voice sounds shaky, your not okay" Jake responded knowing all the signs of y/n's anxiety attacks.

"Jake, please don't worry, I- i miss you tons though"

"Y/n, I'm making my way home now, wait for me. Okay?" Jake spoke knowing all to well what was happening.

Finally Jake arrived home, as he walked through the door he saw y/n sat on the couch with her head in her lap.

"J-jake, my chest"

"Hey, shhh, I'm here now" Jake cooed pulling y/n into his embrace.

Y/n didn't respond she just pushed her head into Jake's chest letting the sound of his heartbeat calm her whirlwind of thoughts. The two of them sat silently for a while letting their embrace speak more than words.

"I'm sorry, if I interrupted anything" y/n spoke a clear sense of guilt in her voice.

"Sweetheart, as soon as I heard your voice that recording was the least of my worries" Jake replied lifting y/n's face and planting a kiss on her forehead.

Jake continued to hold y/n until her breathing evened out completely. He kept whispering sweet nothings until she had fallen asleep, y/n still resting her head on Jake's chest.

[littlebirdygirlywriting]

Erk! I just— There are TOO MANY ELEMENTS to this that I LOVEEEE!!!!! 😍😍😍😍

Jake’s mother-henning and tidying the house. Pizza on the hood of his car. The quiet, secluded beach that he apparently frequents. “Newly familiar” arms. Making her meals.

Sha-bing sha-boom sha-bam!! There’s SO MUCH GOODNESS wrapped into this one story!!

And Penny, you devious matchmaker you. 😈 Genius! Just lovely!

Medical Emergency

Summary: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Fe!Reader -> When Jake gets a call asking to pick you up from the hospital, it's safe to say he's confused. Especially considering neither of you were known for getting along with the other.

Disclaimer: Enemies to lovers, brother's best friend, descriptions of being ill (nothing fully specified, just fainting a lot, low blood sugar and hormones), swearing, fluff, steamy moments, he takes care of you. This has been in my w.i.p for a while now so it's kinda a long one. Not Proof Read.

It was safe to say Jake was confused to find out he was your emergency contact. 

It was known to most people in the town that you and Jake weren’t exactly the best of friends. The hatred started all back when he was brought into Top Gun the first time round. Before he suddenly became the best, of the best of the best. And each year he came back, it only got worse. 

Neither of you would be surprised if everyone in San Diego knew about how much you and Jake didn’t get along. 

So, yeah. Getting a call from a Nurse called Emma telling him he needed to come and pick you up from the hospital…he was confused. 

He’d spent most of the day training the new recruits at Top Gun. He was on base when he got the call, but twenty minutes later, he was parked outside the hospital and was being shown to your room. 

“She’s to take two of these every six hours for the next three days. If she has any drastic changes; dizziness, nausea, vomiting, etc. Bring her back. But she should be okay.”

He hadn’t even been told what had happened. 

Then he saw you. 

On a typical day, your hair was either up or down. You typically wore bright colours since the kids in your class like to point them out and name them. And even at the end of the week when you’d walk into the Hard Deck, Penny already having your drink waiting for you, and you’d look tired and ready to go to bed, you were still…bright. Put together. 

But from where he was standing, you were dressed in grey sweats and a Top-Gun hoodie. Most likely, you thought it was your brother’s. But from the worn hole around the edge of it let Jake know it was his. One your brother had never returned to him. 

You looked…like you needed to be comforted. 

Your hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail at the base of your skull. Any hints of make-up had been long washed away. Your nail polish was chipped, if not already peeled from your nails. 

Finally slipping your shoes on, you stood slowly. You looked like you needed to sleep for a year, and maybe take another nap for eight months. 

“Just sign here and here and then you’re free to go.”

Jake watched as the nurse’s words just about registered in your ears before you slowly picked the pen up from her hand and signed your name at the bottom of the paper. 

Reaching to grab the rest of your stuff, Jake almost swooped forwards. “I’ve got it.”

You just nodded. “Thanks.”

Any other day, you would have told him you could do it yourself and tell him to fuck off. 

He picked up your overnight bag and, with a hand at the bottom of your back, led you out of the hospital. 

“This way.”

You followed him back to his car and once he knew you were safe inside the passenger seat, he rounded the car and got into his seat. 

“I did tell them just to call me a cab. You can just drop me off down the road. You don’t need to-”

“I’m not letting you walk home.” He told you. “What’s your address?”

Part of Jake wished you’d fight him more about walking home. At least that way he’d know you were actually okay. He still would have driven you home, but…he wanted you back. 

Typing your address into his phone, he followed the sat-nav. 

By the time he pulled up outside your house, you were asleep. He waited for five minutes, letting you sleep whilst he researched and read the prescription you’d been given. 

Then he looked up at your house. You had to have a spare key. 

Carefully, he left his car and walked up your path. He looked in all the typical places until he found a small patch of wood from your porch coming loose. Inside was your key. 

So, opening your door and carrying your things inside, he came back for you. 

Unbuckling your seatbelt, he placed one of your arms around his neck before placing his own arms around your back and under your legs. 

“It’s okay. Go back to sleep.”

And you did. 

Shutting the door to his car with his back, he carried you into your house, shutting your front door with his foot before taking you into your bedroom and laying you on top of your sheets. Looking around, he found a basket of blankets just under your window. 

However, as he covered you up, he checked your temp with the back of his hand. You seemed okay. 

Then you reached for him. 

It was only for a few seconds, but you held his hand before your body fell back to sleep. 

Before he left your room, Jake got you a glass of water and left your window on a latch. And then he stayed. 

Kicking off his boots by the door, he locked everything up around your home before laying down on top of the guest bed with a million and one questions circling around his head. 

Why was he your emergency contact? What had happened? Why didn’t anyone else tell him you were in the hospital for, clearly, more than a couple of hours? 

You spent the next two days in and out of consciousness. The hospital told Jake not to worry and that it was a good sign you were sleeping. He’d wake you every couple of hours and give you your tablets. 

And each time, you’d wake up with the same confusion of how and why he was in your house. And then you’d remember. And apologise. And thank him. Before he’d tell you to lay back down and get some rest. 

By the time you came round, you woke up to texts pinging on your phone. 

How could you not tell me you were dating someone?

We SERIOUSLY need to catch up about this when you’re back in. 

Your boyfriend called the school. Why is this how I’m finding out you’re sick?

Get better soon, honey xoxo

Also, don’t worry about the kids. I’ve got your class covered. 

One of your fellow-teacher best friends. You and her had joined the school as teachers in the same year. She had been away on a cruise for the last two weeks. 

Slowly, everything that had happened over the last two days came flooding back to you. They had called Jake. He had come to get you at the hospital. He kept waking you up. Had he stayed that whole time? Was he the one to call your school?

Pulling yourself from your bed and heading to the bathroom, you caught a look of yourself in the mirror. You looked…rough. And also the exact same as you had when you’d left the hospital. Maybe there was a little more colour in your cheeks. 

And you did feel better. 

The room felt still and you didn’t feel like throwing up all your insides out, despite being unable to do so. 

Drying your hands on the towel, you made your way through your home. Things were…tidy. Militarily so. The last time your place, although tidy, had looked militarily tidy had been when your brother had visited you before he got deployed again. 

So, either, he was here now. Jake was still here. Or you had a ghost haunting your house that just so happened to be in the Navy. 

Walking down the stairs, you found a pair of boots at the bottom of your stairs. They definitely weren’t yours. 

Then you heard someone in the kitchen. The smell of fresh bread and chicken noodle soup wafted through your home. 

It was a minute or two before Jake spotted you. It felt like a fever dream, watching him in your kitchen, dressed normally, a towel slung over his shoulder as he slid the bread buns from the tray to a cooling rack. 

“Oh, hey. You’re awake.”

You nodded. “Did you cook?”

“How are you feeling?” Jake made his way over to you, his hand coming to touch your forehead and cheeks. You swatted his hands away. You could have sworn you saw him smile after you did it. 

“Get off me, I’m fine.”

Jake smiled as he watched you make your way to sit down on the opposite side of the kitchen island. You looked way better than you had done when he saw you in the hospital. 

“What day is it?”

“Tuesday.” He told you, continuing to slide all but one of the bread buns onto the cooling back. The final one, he dropped onto a plate before dishing out a bowl of the soup. 

“Eat up. You’re gonna need your strength.”

You looked at the food in front of you. “You made this?”

“I made it.”

You looked at him sceptically. “Is this how you plan to kill me? She was weak, your honour. I just wanted to help her.”

“Why would I take care of you for three days and then kill you? It’d be easier if I did it in three days.”

“So you did think about it.”

Jake rolled his eyes and handed you a fork. “Just eat.”

You couldn’t lie, it was one of the best meal’s you’d had in a long time. And as you ate, you looked around your home. Your books had been tidied away and back onto your shelves. All except two. One you were part way through reading and one that was…almost finished. But not by you. 

You didn’t notice as Jake watched you take everything in. Your books, your pots of pens. You dish towels, your spices and other baking ingredients. Some had even been put into the jars you had been meaning to fill back up. Then you noticed the smaller things. Like how he’d put up the wooden signs in your kitchen you’d been planning to do for months, and how he’d cleaned…everything. 

It looked like he’d done a complete renovation of your place whilst you’d been knocked out. 

Then you noticed the pile of papers on your kitchen counter. 

The English and maths tests you’d given to your class a few weeks ago. You hadn’t finished marking them. 

But Jake had. 

You took the top paper and looked it over. 

“Did you mark these?” You flipped through the pages. Not only were they marked, but they were marked correctly. They even had a sticker on each of “well done” or “great stuff”. 

You heard Jake chuckle. “I am a teacher, too, you know.”

“You’re a…Top Gun instructor. Not a third-grade teacher.”

“I do suppose I am over qualified to help but-”

You shook your head. You hadn’t meant for it to sound so insulting.

“No, I-I mean, thank you. But you didn’t have to do this. Any of this.” You gestured around your home. “You already did enough bringing me home.”

“I wanted to ask you about that. Why was it me that brought you home? Surely you have people who you actually like, to be your emergency contact?”

Tyler watched as you fell silent and searched for the words to tell him. 

“You’re…not.” Taking a breath, you looked up at him. “They…they tried a couple of people. They couldn’t make it. One of the nurses knows Penny so called and asked if she had anyone’s number who I knew. I did try and tell them to just call me a cab.”

He let your words settle over him. 

“Who?”

“What?”

“Who else did you call? Who didn’t pick up?”

You listed them off. Most were people in your family and a couple of friends. 

“I would have fought them on it but-”

“I’m glad you called me.” Jake admitted you. And it struck you. “Give me your phone.”

You slid it over to him. And he called his number from your phone. 

“If anything like that happens again, I want you to call me.”

“Jake-”

He shook his head. “You’re not fighting me on this. Fight me on everything else. Anything else. But not this. Call me.”

So you just nodded. “Okay.”

“Good. And eat up, too.”

You did. “You say that as if we’ve got some place to be.”

“We do.”

“Where?”

“You’ll see.”

Twenty minutes later he practically shoved you into your bathroom en-suit telling you to shower and get changed. 

“I thought my nurse was meant to be kind.”

“I am kind!” He said. “And I’m not a nurse. And I’m a friend.”

You laughed a little at that one. 

“I’ve seen the inside of your junk drawer. I’m your friend. I have to be, or else I don’t have a word for it.”

He did have a point on that. Your junk drawer…even you hadn’t seen the inside of that thing in at least a year. 

So, after getting dressed, taking the last of your antibiotic and forcing some kind of health smoothie Hangman had made you with the blender he found at the back of your cupboard, you found yourself back in the passenger seat of his car. 

“Where are we going?”

He said nothing, just smiled and pulled the aviators from his collar and put them on before starting his engine and for a moment you wondered if that was what he did when he got into his jet. Flash his million-dollar smile before starting his jet engine and taking off into the sky. For a moment you wondered what it would be like to watch him land and look over at you just like he did. 

But then you forced yourself back to reality. 

This was Jake Seresin, aka Hangman. Given that name because he hangs his team out to dry. 

But he didn’t leave you. 

In fact, he was the only one to show up. 

And the first to stay. 

You read the road signs as best as you could until you realised where he was taking you. 

“You know there is a beach like ten minutes from my house.”

He nodded. “I know. But you’re there all the time. You’ve seen that patch a thousand times. This is different.”

“How? Isn’t all sand the same?”

He shrugged, still smiling. “Maybe. But they always say the beach can work a thousand miracles. Come on.”

It was a five minute walk to the bottom. 

“Is it usually this empty?”

He looked around. “There’s usually a couple more people, but yeah. This is usually it. Not many people drive this far down. They think it’s not the best but to me…couldn’t be more perfect.”

“Huh.”

“What?” Jake asked, looking at you. 

You continued looking out to the water. You shook your head. “No, nothing. Just…never thought you’d be the sentimental type.”

“Well…I’m not.” 

You looked at him. 

“To most people.”

It was at that moment you felt a small crackle. Either in your chest or your gut, something crackled. And you felt the blanket of hatred you had for Jake Seresin start to fade. 

His call sign might be ‘Hangman’, but you had a strong feeling that when it came to those he cared about…he tried his best to stick around. And even if he couldn’t, he’d make a memory of them to last a lifetime. 

 For the rest of the day, you spent most of your time lying on the beach watching the waves or reading your book, which he had packed. And it was…one of the best days you’d had in a long time. 

“Why are you doing this?”

“What?” Moving the book from his face, Jake looked at you from beneath his shades as you lay on your stomach beside him. 

“This? Less than a week ago I’m pretty sure people would have made money on you and I killing each other. Why are you helping me?”

“Because you need it. And I’m pretty sure anyone else would believe you when you say that you don’t.”

“And you don’t believe me?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I know you.”

You scoffed. “What do you mean you know me?”

You watched as he smiled and tried to kill the butterflies in your stomach. 

“Y/n.”

You were still getting used to the fact he was using your first name. Usually it was your last, or some sweet nickname like ‘Sweetheart’ that would grate through your entire body. 

“You spend most of your time making sure everyone feels okay and is doing okay. The only time you actually let your feelings know is when you’re taking shit to me. You deserve a break. You deserve to take one before your body forces you to have one.”

Hearing his words as he spoke, you slowly sat up until your back was to the water and you were fully facing him. 

“Plus, your brother asked me to look out for you. And I’d rather not suffer his wrath again.”

Okay, that had to be complete bull. Your brother’s wrath when it came to protecting you, that was true. But why ask Jake of all people given he knew your history and track record with him. 

And what did he mean by again?

You barely had time to ask all of your questions before you watched him stand up, throwing his book closed to the ground. You mentally scolded yourself for letting your eyes wander all over him. 

You weren’t blind to the fact Hangman looked, well, like him. A daring smile, enough charm to charm even the most sourest of people and the body to go with it. But before today, you had been immune. At least, you considered yourself immune since the blanket of hatred that you held for him seemed to block plenty out. 

Worst of all, he caught you. 

You knew he caught you because of the smirk on his face and the chuckle that escaped his broad chest. 

“Shut up.” You groaned, forcing yourself to stand. “I’ve been in the hospital. My immune system is temporarily weakened.”

“It isn’t the first time I’ve caught you, Sweetheart.” Seresin drawled just as you looked at him both annoyed and confused. And maybe slightly offended that he thought you had, before today, purposefully checked him out. 

But he just laughed. “Come on, I want to show you something.”

“But what about our stuff?”

“It’ll be safe. I know most of the people on this beach, they’ll make sure nothing happens to it.”

Taking your hand in his, he led you down the beach, under a small cove and through to the otherside where some rocks were covered in seaweed and sand. 

And for a while, you and Jake explored the place. You’d never been this far down the beach so finding out it existed was a bonus. Finding seaweed to pop and watching the crabs crawl across some of the rocks was fun. 

You’d never stop to take a break. Straight out of college, you’d begun teaching. It had been in your home town until your brother got accepted into Top Gun. And, with an internalised fear of losing him, you moved out to San Diego. You knew after a while he’d be stationed somewhere else, but you’d managed to find a home there. And when your brother was stationed not too far from his Top Gun base, the rest of your family moved closer. 

Since then, it has been helping them get settled, tutoring their children after spending all day teaching. It was sleepless nights spent alone at home, living off the quickest food you could make because you simply didn’t have time to cook. It was running yourself so far into the ground that the one person who you never thought would even step foot into your home was the only one to show up and give you enough space to actually relax. 

So watching crabs walk along the rocks was fun. 

And hearing your name, and calling out his name above the waves, without hatred or malice behind it, was fun, too. 

“Come and look at this.”

Carefully, you made your way over the rocks, trying your best not to slip and hit your head. And you did so, until the last rock before you joined him. 

Letting out a small yell as you reached out to try and catch yourself, he threw out his hand and caught you. 

“You okay?”

“Fine.”

“Can you stand?”

You lowered yourself to a lower rock, still holding onto his arms before letting go and allowing yourself to take his hand and help you up the rest of the way. 

“What am I looking at?”

It was a starfish. 

The rest of the day, you and Jake explored the shore, skipped rocks on the calming water, sunbathed and even took a swim in the water. 

By the time the sun had set, you found yourself sitting with him on the hood of his car, a pizza box between you both, watching the planes fly from the airport. 

A week ago, if anyone had told you that you would have done any of this, especially with Hangman, you would never have believed them. 

“Thank you, for your help.” You blurted out as you watched another plane fly into the sky. 

“You don’t have to thank me.”

“Yes, I do.” You wanted him to listen to you. “Given our track record for being nice to each other, I wouldn’t have been surprised if you didn’t turn up at the hospital to bring me home. But you did. And you made sure I didn’t fall into some kind of coma after it. And today you gave me the first day, I think, ever, where I’ve not done a thousand things for somebody else and enjoyed what I was doing. So, I do need to thank you for that.”

“Are you saying…you…like me?”

You couldn’t stop the smile on your face, but you tried to force it away. “Okay.”

“No, no. I mean, this is a miracle.”

“You’re tolerable.” You corrected him. 

Smiling, he took another slice of pizza. “You like me.”

“No, I don’t.”

“You like me. I am now your friend. We are now friends.”

You shook your head, holding in a laugh. “Just shut up and eat your pizza.”

It was safe to say after that, that everyone was shocked at the dynamic between both you and Hangman. 

They had all gotten so used to the insults and borderline flirty comments you’d both sling each other's way, it had become like white noise. So, when it was gone and replaced with laughter and smiling, it gave everyone a terrified feeling. 

“I’m guessing they’re not here yet.”

Penny shook her head as she poured another pint. With a smile, she nodded over to the other end of the bar. “They’re over there.”

Twenty minutes later, it had become like a social study for everyone in the bar to watch you and Jake. 

“Do you think they fucked? Got all that pent up energy out?”

Coyote shook his head. “No, he would have told me. How long have they been like this? Maybe they’ve been hypnotised into liking each other?”

Rooster shook his head. “The hypnotist left like three months ago. Maybe they’re…faking it. Do you think they heard us talking about them last week? About who would kill who first? Maybe they’re teaming up so nobody wins?”

Penny shook her head as she wiped down the bar. “Well, whatever it is, it’s a nice change. She looks a lot happier. They both do. Who knows, maybe next we’ll be holding a wedding here.”

“Not their wedding?” Rooster seemed shocked. “Penny, they were about three insults away from killing each other three weeks ago.”

“Love is blind, as they say.”

For the rest of the night, people watched you and Jake sat together. Seresin and Y/l/n. Hangman and Sweetheart. 

And then they watched as you walked home. 

Together. 

It was safe to say everyone was shocked to their core. For the first time ever, there had been a night where both you and Jake had not only been in the bar at the same time but had also sat together for the whole night, and not once killed each other. 

Verbally or otherwise. 

“You know, you’re not as big of a dick as I thought you were Seresin. Tonight was a nice change.”

“I have been known to be kind once in a while.”

“Keep this up, you might be fit to see another day.”

“So might you.” Jake replied as he watched you climb the steps of your front porch. “I meant what I said, about taking a break. You deserve one, Y/n.”

You took in what he said with a small nod before adding. “You know, it’s still freaking me out, you even know my first name.”

“If it helps, the nurse had to tell me.” He said. “Guess I’ve called you by your last name so much, I forgot your first.”

“Is that why you keep saying it? So you don’t forget?”

He shrugged, a slight smirk on his face. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

“You know, it is okay if you forget it once in a while.”

Jake smiled a little at that. “How could I forget the name of the woman who once dumped three shots of tabasco sauce into my drink?”

“Hey, you can’t prove that was me.”

“Hey, the bottle was in your hand.”

You unlocked your door. “I still plead not guilty.”

“Whatever you say, Sweetheart. Sure you’re okay on your own?”

You nodded. “I’ll be fine. Besides, don’t you have an early start in the morning?”

He nodded. “Even so. Call me.”

“Goodnight, Jake.”

“Night, Sweetheart.”

He waited for you to lock your doors before he got into his car and drove back home. 

The following weeks continued the same way. If anybody who was anybody saw you and Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin together, in the same room, talking. They would stop and watch. 

Never in a million years did anyone expect you and Jake to talk, never mind actually become friends. 

Each Friday, you met each other at the bar. You both have a drink. You’d both sit and talk. Maybe some of your old ways were still there with each other, but there was less “25 to life” about it and more “affection” in the words you both said. 

However, it nearly gave people an aneurysm when they thought you were both actually dating. 

Two people who were thirty seconds away from physically fighting each other every day had gone from, well, that, to…to…to dating?

It couldn’t be…could it?

And the rumours that had been spread by one of the bar regulars, after she’d spotted both of you grocery shopping together before spotting Jake’s car leave from the top of your road hours later, were only fueled when they heard about what happened at the school. 

It had been months since you fainted and you had been getting better. You felt better, you felt like you had more energy. And with Jake’s help you started to feel like a person again. A person who wasn’t wholly consumed by their work constantly, whether they were ten miles from the building or not. 

Except, one morning, you woke up and felt…off. 

Something wasn’t right. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but something didn’t feel right. Maybe your period was coming early. It has been doing that lately. Surprising you when you least expected or wanted it. 

Just a few weeks ago, it had arrived early once again. And the pain you’d felt in the days before nearly floored you. And when you hadn’t showed up at the bar like you’d agreed to with Jake, he came looking for you. That night he’d taken a quick trip to the grocery store after you told him what happened. He looked after you. Made sure you were okay. The next day, he drove you back to the store and you stocked up on supplies and snacks. 

It was also later that night when he surprised you by making dinner. 

Opening up your fridge, you took one of the healthy smoothies that Jake had left you the last time he’d come round, before packing it into your bag and heading to work. 

Your queasy feelings only got worse. And then…you felt it. 

Sticking on a documentary for your class, you took your phone and slowly made your way towards the teachers bathroom, stopping off at the next class. 

“Can you keep an eye on them for a couple of minutes?” 

Your best friend nodded. “Course’ honey.” Before asking her TA to go next door. 

“You okay?”

You tried your best to look okay, despite everything you were feeling inside. 

“Yeah. Yeah. I will be.”

As the TA headed next door, you made your way towards the bathroom, then dialled his number. 

“Hey,” Jake said as he answered. “Just about to call you. They’ve got a showing of The Wizard of Oz tonight at the theatre, if you wanted to go-”

“Jake.”

“Are you okay? What’s happened? Is everything okay? Is it your brother-”

“Every…” You swallowed thickly before carefully lowering yourself onto the floor with your back against the wall, and unlocking the door. “Everything’s okay, it’s just…”

Jake had a strong feeling he knew what was happening. “I’m on my way. Where are you?”

“School bathroom. Teacher’s.”

“Okay.” You could hear him leaving his office and getting into his car. “Is the door unlocked?”

You didn’t answer. 

“Y/n.”

“I’m here.”

Jake breathed. “Y/n, Sweetheart. Is the door unlocked to the bathroom?”

“Yes.”

“Does anyone else know you’re there?”

You explained what happened as best as you could. 

“Just, please get here soon?”

“I will, Sweetheart. I promise. I’m almost there.”

You didn’t know how long had passed but it wasn’t long before you heard your name being called out by Jake. 

Pulling the door open a little from the floor, Jake ran towards it and peeked inside. There you were, sat with your knees close to your chest, against the wall. 

He stepped inside before crouching down. 

“I-I’m sorry I called. I just-”

Checking you over, Jake cupped your face. “Hey, no. No. I’m glad you called me. You can always call me. How are you feeling?”

“Dizzy. It’s better now but still like the room is spinning. And I’m not harnessed in.”

“Okay. Do you think you can stand?”

You gave a small nod. “Maybe.”

Helping you up, Jake took your hands in his and you stood up. 

“Come on, we’re getting you checked out at the ER.”

You would have fought him on it but considering the last time it happened they kept you in overnight, you went willingly. 

Thankfully, you didn’t pass out even when the dizziness and the nausea felt like they were getting worse. 

By the time the doctor saw you, she did all of the routine checks before turning and looking at Jake and back to you. 

“Is there a possibility you could be pregnant? I’ve seen a lot of couples come in here with similar symptoms and-”

Oh shit. 

“Oh, no. I-I’m not. And he’s not-”

“We’re- We’re not together.”

A few more awkward moments like that filled the next couple of hours until both yourself and Jake seemed to give up on correcting people. 

By the time they discharged you, they told you your blood sugar levels had dropped and your hormones were beginning to change with your cycle. Along with the advice to try and reduce stress. 

Driving you home that night, Jake made a detour. Towards the diner and then towards the beach along The Hard Deck. 

It was quiet for a Tuesday evening, but yourself and Jake just sat and ate dinner whilst watching the water push in and pull out constantly across the sand until eventually, laying your head on his shoulder, he placed his arm around your own. 

“Thank you. For everything you’ve done for me.”

“Thank you for calling me. Are you feeling any better?”

You nodded, gratefully. “Just a little tired, that's all.”

“I’ll drop you off at home, soon, if you’d like.”

You nodded then looked at him. And before you could stop yourself, you asked him; “Would you stay with me? Tonight? If you can’t- or if you don’t want to-”

“I’ll stay.”

“A-are you…sure?”

Jake nodded, a faint smile on his lips. “I’ll stay with you.”

You didn’t know what else to say other than thank you, so pressing a light kiss to his cheek, you said as much. “Thank you.”

You could have sworn you saw him blush as he smiled and looked down. “Anytime.”

It was odd really, laying beside the man you thought you’d be telling your kids about when you were older. About how much you hated him and how much he hated you, and why neither of you could sit next to each other at the Thanksgiving table every year. 

Jake had decided to stay in your guest bedroom, but the minute you heard him lay down in his bed, you felt…awake. Not wide awake. You were still tired. But you weren’t settled. Something inside of you wanted to be closer to him. 

So, after an hour of laying on your back, staring at your ceiling and listening to the distant shore line, with the odd rumble of a car’s engine running up and down the road every now and again, you got up. 

Jake had left his door open. If you shouted for him, or needed him, he would be able to hear you. Usually, he’d be out like a light, waking up at the smallest of noises. But this time, he couldn’t sleep. 

Instead, his mind was going over the fact you had called him when you were at work. And the fact that he enjoyed it when you were with him. That he was the one you chose to lean on. And the fact that he wished he was down the hall with you at that moment, then lay alone in the dark in your guest bedroom. 

Then he heard you. 

From the dim, moonlit hallway, he saw you. 

“Hey, everything-”

“Can I stay with you?”

Already half way up, Jake paused for a second. Then nodded. “‘Course. Come ‘ere.”

Walking over, Jake pulled the covers back and you climbed under them before feeling his arm wrap around you. And your arms came around him, one over his shoulder and round his neck, the other by his side. 

Instinctively, he pulled one of your legs across him and held it there whilst his other arm remained securely around your back, holding you to him. 

“Is this okay?”

He felt you nod and he nervously swallowed. 

“Are you okay, Sweetheart?”

In a quiet voice, your breath against his neck, you answered. “Better now.”

Pressing a kiss to your head, you nuzzled into each other. 

“Good.”

Not too long after that, you both fell asleep. 

And when you both woke up, neither of you wanted to move. 

If this had somehow happened six months ago, you probably would have thrown each other to the other side of the room. But it wasn’t six months ago. And you’d come to know Jake as…Jake. Who took care of his friends, and made sure everyone was okay and was kind and caring and…a lot of other things you didn’t want to think about at six o’clock in the morning. 

And the way he was looking at you at that moment made you think about other things that you didn’t want to think about. 

“What are you thinking about?” Jake asked after a few moments of watching you study him. 

“That you need to stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you…like me.”

Jake smiled. “I do like you, Sweetheart.”

“Jake.”

Then, for a moment, everything felt…serious. His tired smile dropped a little from his lips as he looked at you. 

“Do you trust me?”

You felt your heartbeat pick up in your chest and for a moment, you wondered if he could hear it. 

“Yes.”

Tucking your hair behind your ear, you felt him cup your cheek. “Y/n…”

He seemed nervous. 

“Can I kiss you?”

If you had let yourself think about it long enough, you never would have guessed Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin, who went after whatever, and usually whoever he wanted, would ask if he could kiss. You’d always assumed that he was so confident in life and with women that he’d know. That he’d see the small signals. Or even the loud ones. And just…kiss a girl. 

But no. 

He asked. 

And something in your gut jumped. 

So you answered; “Yes.”

Nervously, he licked his lips before he leaned in. And kissing him felt…weird. Because it felt…normal. Unlike anything else you’d felt in your life. 

You managed to pull him closer, until he was leaning above you. “Is this okay?”

“Yes.”

From there, the softer, searching kisses slowly faded away and turned into something more. More wanting, more needing. Feeling his hands move down your body before he gripped your hips, and pulled you closer to him and carefully slid them back up until the fabric of your t-shirt began to bunch together. 

Feeling him press into your thigh, you let out a small noise that was only swallowed by his kiss. Swiftly, he pulled you across him, your legs straddling his lap before he sat up. Once more, he pushed the hair from your face and took you in, in the rising daylight. 

No words were spoken out loud, but everything was said. 

Leaning down, you kissed him again before letting your own hands move down his chest and towards the hem of his t-shirt. Except, just as he pulled you closer by your waist, his hips rocking into you, you both jolted at the sound of his alarm. 

“Sorry.” Jake quickly turned and switched it off. You were both going to be late for work. 

“If we don’t get ready now, we’re gonna be late.”

Looking at him, you didn’t know fully what to say. It had just been the hottest make out session of your life, with a guy six months ago people would have bet money on you killing. And you’d both been cock-blocked by his alarm. 

“I’ll meet you here, after work?”

That made you smile. “Okay.”

Then he did, too. “Okay.” Before throwing his phone to the side and pulling you down to kiss him. But as you pulled away, he groaned, trying to pull you back to continue but you walked a good three feet away from the bed. 

“Can’t be late, Hangman. You’ve got pilots to teach.”

With a coy smile, he was standing in front of you within seconds before lifting you onto the dresser behind you. This time, it was you trying to pull him back when he stopped kissing you. But he just stood back and let out a small chuckle. 

“We’ve both got students to teach, Sweetheart. We stay here any longer, they’re both gonna miss us.”

One final kiss to your lips, he stood back and practically ran away before you could grab hold of him. 

Twenty minutes later, he was showered and dressed for the day and had poured you a coffee to-go as well as packed you another smoothie and grabbed your lunch for you before you’d come downstairs, dressed and began loading the last of the exam papers into your bags. 

He dropped you back off at work, however, when you realised he was waiting in the parking lot for you to enter, you left your bags by the pillar and walked back. With his window already being down, you leaned in and kissed him, feeling his hand cup the back of your head. 

“See you tonight?”

“See you tonight.”

The day for either of you couldn’t have felt longer. And by the time Jake came walking through your back door, dropping his bag onto one of the pantry hooks, he couldn’t have been more relieved to see you. 

And for a moment, he just watched you as you sat on the sofa with crossed legs, flipping through a textbook and making notes. Softly, he approached you from behind before wrapping his arms around your shoulders. 

You smiled. 

“Hey, Sweetheart.”

“You’re back.”

You felt him relax against you. “Finally.”

“There’s some food. I made you a plate in the oven.”

He pressed a kiss to your head before walking towards the kitchen. “I would have cooked.”

“I know, but I needed the distraction.”

Waltzing back inside holding onto the warm plate, he smirked as he popped a fork-full of veg into his mouth. You could already feel your cheeks heating and from the look on his face, he could see it clear as day. 

“Distraction from what?”

“Nothing in particular.”

“Nothing, huh?”

At some point, he put down his plate and rounded back to the sofa, standing behind you before pressing soft kisses into the side of your neck. 

“Jake.”

The way you said his name went straight to his dick. 

As he moved your hair, you leaned to grant him more access. A satisfied smirk came to his lips as he watched your legs move to straighten out. 

“I’ve been thinking about you all day, Sweetheart.”

Eventually, you felt Jake move away but he appeared again, lowering himself in front of you. Taking the textbooks and notes from you and placing them on the coffee table behind him, he leaned forward and pulled you in to kiss him. 

“Have you been thinking about me?”

Feeling his hand move up your thigh and towards your shorts, you leaned in closer. “Have you, Sweetheart?”

“Yes,” your voice came out breathy. 

“Is this okay?”

You nodded. 

“I need words, darlin’.”

“Yes. Yes, it’s okay.”

As time passed, the small part of you that was still able to function started to ask questions. Like why you had hated him so much in the first place? And how you almost missed…him. 

And by the time you woke up in the morning, Jake practically wrapped around you like a boa constrictor, you had come to a new conclusion. 

You didn’t hate him anymore. 

You hadn’t hated him for a long time. 

All opinions you had of him, especially after a night of mindblowing sex, had been shot out of the water. 

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin was no longer the man you thought he was. The man you had come to know and lo- 

The man you had come to know was a man that showed up. And stayed. He was someone that took care of the people he cared about. He was someone that would fix things in your home without you asking. He was someone that cooked meals, even if it was almost one o’clock in the morning and you were craving a grilled cheese. He was someone that, even after sex, took care of you in a way nobody had ever even thought about doing before. He was someone that you could trust and respect, and did so. 

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin was a man that had proved your theories wrong and he was a man that you realised you were falling for. 

And in some ways, that scared you. And in some ways, it didn’t. 

Because, for as much as he could be so sure of himself. So bold. So confident, it bordered on cocky. You were also sure of him. Sure that, if he was feeling the same things you felt, that he wouldn’t let you hurt yourself when you fell, but rather he’d catch you. 

And it, surprisingly, didn’t take him very long. 

By the time you woke up in the morning and headed downstairs, freshly dressed in a worn Top Gun hoodie and a pair of sleep shorts, you started making breakfast. However, as you stood at the stove, flipping the bacon, you felt a newly familiar pair of arms wrap around your waist from behind. 

Dropping his chin to your shoulder, Jake pulled you close to his chest. 

“Good morning.”

“Morning’.” He drawled. “Whatcha’ cookin’?”

“Bacon and eggs. There’s also toast in the toaster.”

With a smile, Jake pressed a kiss to your exposed collar which caused you to let out a small giggle before quickly turning the stove off. 

“You’ve gotta be careful, Hangman. You’ll make me burn breakfast.”

He hummed a response. “I had a couple other meals in mind.”

“Oh really? Like what?”

With his hands on your hips and his lips on your neck where you suspected he’d just left another hickey, he slowly turned you around. “I can think of one.”

Finally facing him, he kissed you as you fumbled with the last temperature gauge and turned it off. Picking you up, he carried you away from the counter near the stove to the one complete opposite. 

“You’re driving me insane dressed like this.” He mumbled against your kiss. “Wearing my shirt.”

“Your shirt?” You asked as his lips moved to your neck. 

Looking at you for a moment, half drunk on your kiss, he nodded. “Didn’t you know, Sweetheart? This here is mine.” Pinching some of the fabric between his fingers he shook it as he told you so. 

You laughed. “No it’s not.”

He nodded. “God's honest truth. Your brother stayed at mine one night after he’d gone out drinking. Lost his shirt, don’t ask me how. Stole one of my hoodies. Never got it back.”

“How do you know this is yours?”

With a smile, Jake showed you the small hole that you’d made a little bigger over the years from when you’d get nervous. “This right here. Loose thread got caught in a cabinet I was fixing in my room. Pulled at it too hard. And…”

Jake watched as your expression changed a little, hungry for more of his touches, as he pushed his hand slowly up the inside of your- his hoodie. 

A slight smirk, he pulled at the side tag and showed you. And it baffled you how you’d never noticed before. 

J.H.S

“See. But, I have to say, Sweetheart. It looks better on you than it ever did me.”

And as he was looking at you, he asked you something else. “Let me take you out on a date. A real one. You know, seeing you like this…I never want to see anyone else like this but you.”

“Jake…”

“I’m being serious. Sweetheart, I want you. And not just temporarily.” Then he looked away as he said the next part. “I’d get it…if you didn’t want that. God knows you and I don’t have the best history when it comes to even getting along but-”

“I want to date you.”

He looked up at you. 

“I want to date you,” you repeated. “Believe me, half of the time I don’t get it myself. How we’ve gone from one extreme to the other, but I know…I know I want you around.”

“I want you around, too.”

“So, yes.”

Jake smiled. “Yes?”

You smiled back. “Yes. Take me out on a date, Jake Seresin.”

Leaning forwards, he kissed you. And before long, your hands started to feel for the hem of his shirt before pulling it over his head. 

It was safe to say, when you and Jake walked into The Hard Deck in the evening after your official first date, hand in hand before he pressed a kiss to your lips, a lot of people were shocked. 

And lost a lot of money. 

But Penny won it all. 

She knew the minute Jake saw you, and your brother scolded him, that something would happen. After all, Hangman was known for going after what he wanted. She just never expected to have to be the one to force you to be in the same room and for that room to be a hospital.

[dudadragneel]

I’ve been having lots of Jake thoughts lately, permission to share with the class…

-🦄

Hello, dear 🦄!

PLEASE! I'd love to hear!

He's a little golden retriever boy that I absolutely adore!

💜

[okshu]

—ㅤ⠀ 峠ㅤ⠀ 𝗐͟𝗐͟𝗐﹕﹙ZB1 FIC RECS﹚

all fics of zb1 that me and @sxmmerberries read and swooned over at the dead of the night. the authors are really talented too so make sure to check out their other works too.

▨ LEGEND ㄑ f - fluff, a - angst, s - smut

성한빈 ─── SUNG HANBIN

be careful, don't fall by @haesunflower [f] [uni AU, clumsy reader and student nurse hanbin; 0.7k]

a night in monaco [ one . two ] by @ohsunnyboy [f] [fake dating, flirting, one bed trope, lazy kisses]

to breathe in your life by @zhng96 [f] [comfort fic, insecure!reader]

sitting in traffic by @loserlvrss [a,f]

hanbin and non-sexual dominance by @zbis [f]

forget? you? by @hariboz [a]

.

김지웅 ─── KIM JIWOONG

french press by @zerobaselove [s] [jealous jiwoong; 1.2k]

cuteness aggression by @haecien [f] [boyfriend texts with jiwong]

a morning to remember by @taerrrrrae [f]

winter confessions by @taerrrrrae [f]

.

章昊 ─── ZHANG HAO

a perfect fit by @zerobaselove [f] [campus crush! zhang hao x reader; 3.4k]

to chase a dream by @ohsunnyboy [f] [musician au, rivals, makeouts and happy endings]

one day only by @cinnajun [f] [established relationship; 1.3k]

drunk of you by @kkongdakz [a] [rivals to somewhat lovers, suggestive; 2.3k]

dollification by @amoremainslayer [s]

sir oblivious by @sxmmerberries [f] [textfic]

.

석매튜 ─── SEOK MATTHEW

coloumb's law by @seoktized [s] [ft. jake from enhypen, college au; 3.4k]

airpods by @iwillneverforgiveyousunghanbin [s] [stepcest; 2k]

feel good by @loserlvrss [s] [soft smut]

show me how to use that pretty mouth of yours by @aswaki [s] [oral fixation; 2.2k]

mile high club privilege by @aswaki [s] [stewardess/flight attendant reader, strangers themed; 1.8k]

matthew flashfic this and this by @aswaki [s]

semi public sex by @528-hotline [s]

.

김태래 ─── KIM TAERAE

taedros taedros [ one . two . three ] by @iwillneverforgiveyousunghanbin [s] [bsf taerae]

giving it a chance by @haesunflower [a] [not super angsty, established long term relationship]

keep it quiet by @cinnajun [f, sugg] [best friend’s brother!au x reader; 3.6k]

this loser by @kkongdakz [f]

a summ(lov)er song by @kkongdakz [f]

.

沈泉锐 ─── SHEN QUANRUI

against everything by @ohsunnyboy [f] [royalty!au, arranged marriages, sword fights and honour]

cherry chapstick by @loserlvrss [sugg]

sunlight by @kkongdakz [f]

wooden block tower by @kkongdakz [a]

.

김규빈 ─── KIM GYUVIN

7:34 pm by @zhng96 [f] [blurb]

sunny days by @zhng96 [f] [3.1k]

new year's kiss by @hariboz [f] [friends to lovers; 1.6k]

only one by @loserlvrss [f] [established relationship; 1k]

battery recharge by @kkongdakz [f]

kiss it better by @kkongdakz [f]

world's cutest couple by @cinnajun [fake angst]

pool sex by @carmesi-butterfly [s]

birthday much? by @arafilez [f] [drabble; 0.3k]

you kissed him and ran away by @sxmmerberries [f] [text imagine, bsf!gyuvin]

.

박건욱 ─── PARK GUNWOOK

why are you ignoring me by @slytherinshua [f]

one bed by @kkongdakz [f] [enemies to somewhat lovers; 1k]

consequences by @lovepookie [f, a]

.

한유진 ─── HAN YUJIN

a spark of light by @ohsunnyboy [f] [bestfriends, homework, pining away and gaming]

love lock by @trsrina [f]

mario cart by @trsrina [f]

2a.m. crisis by @slytherinshua [f, sickfic]

side dishes by @gyubaseone [f]

everything is okay by @taeraemisu [f]

7:39 pm by @itsactuallylina [f]

red thread of fate by @carmesi-butterfly [f]

.

제로베이스원 ─── OT9 / POLY

zb1 top 3 kinks by @melobin [s] [not including gunwook & yujin]

cute things zb1 do as you bf by @tzuberry [f] [maknae line hcs]

she's busy bro by @haesunflower [f] [text imagines, yujin not included]

cuddling with zb1 by @cinnajun [f] [headcannons, yujin not inc]

this love is small by @taeiun [f] [some of the little things that they do in your relationship, yujin not inc]

zb1 as love tropes by @tzuberry [f] [headcannons, maknae line]

sweet venom by @taeiun [f] [headcannons, pulling them by the collar and kissing, 02z + 04z + gw]

zb1 as your boyfriends by @cinnajun [f] [hcs, yujin not incl]

zb1 as taylor swift songs by @zhng96 [f] [blurbs]

calling your bsf "babe" by @zhng96 [f] [text imagines]

why him by @hariboz [f] [text imagines, you ask for another member's pc]

why didn't you kiss me by @hariboz [f] [text imagines]

favourite places to kiss by @loserlvrss [f] [blurb, gw + yj not incl]

is this mine? by @kkongdakz [f] [reaction, when you wear their clothes]

we're so cliché by @kkongdakz [f] [zb1 as love tropes]

kiss me by @kkongdakz [sugg] [making out with hyung line]

you being sleep deprived/sleep drunk by @sxmmerberries [f] [maknae line + taerae, text imagines]

no more kisses by @faithst [f] [ot8, hcs, s/o being shy after every kiss]

copyright to respective authors, don't forget to reblog their works ^^ okshu + @fairyofmangoes

[chogiwow]

hold me, heal me | jake sim

pairing: jake x gn!reader (ft. jay's cameo)

wc: 9.1k+

genre: angst; sickfic; hurt-comfort

au: exes to lovers

warnings: both mc and jake are emotionally constipated for most part of the fic, jake is sick, mentions of food, yn is a sort of brusque caretaker, mentions of nudity, kissing and making out but jake is still sick ew but that’s on being in love ig, jake also contemplates murder (it's just my attempt at humor), not proofread 

a/n: i’m sick atm so yayyy :d anyway, busted this out in one sitting idek what happened

one.

jake contemplates ignoring the doorbell, the very sound of it making him snort out in mild annoyance. the weighted blanket around his frame feels warm, his feet peeking out against the soft kiss of the spring breeze.

he smells kind of mouldy, like a day-old dusty bookshelf, his fingers sport a fine sheen of oil when he rubs it across his face and his lips feel too dry. the bell rings again – he contemplates a silent murder this time.

against his will, he finds himself dragging his body out from under the comfort of his toasty blanket, sniffling and letting out a violent sneeze and somehow that hurts his throat. still, he persists, stumbling across the cool tile floors of his tiny apartment, heaving his body in his feverish state and unlocking the door with a heavy sigh.

the frown on his face drops too quickly – and again, it is against his will. not that he’s complaining this time around, because it’s you. you’re standing there; even after he blinks his eyes and squints at your face, you’re still standing there. it’s you. and he had just contemplated your murder not even minutes ago – he suddenly wants to apologise.

jake doesn’t know what to say. his throat is scratchy, thick with the remnants of sleep and sickness, but even if it weren’t, he’s pretty sure words would still fail him.

because you’re here, and he doesn’t know why.

his feverish brain scrambles for an explanation – maybe you forgot something here (impossible, you never leave things behind), or maybe you’re lost (equally impossible, you know your way around his place better than he does), or maybe you’[re here to finally cut him out of your life forever (uh, probably possible).

jake swallows. his throat protests, burning raw.

“you look disgusting,” you say, finally breaking the silence.

wow, you’ve really outdone yourself. maybe you’re taking the ‘just friends’ part a bit too literally, but even so, you won’t say that to any friend of yours. but this is jake, your ex – your ex you met again after a year not even two months ago, your ex who you had a long deep talk not even two weeks ago, your ex who, in said talk, spilled his guts out for you (literally and figuratively) over a late night drink, your ex who reluctantly promised to stay friends with because he would do whatever you told him.

jake exhales a short laugh, the sound raspy and strained. “glad to know i’m still leaving an impression.”

you roll your eyes, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. there’s something tight in your chest, something uneasy about the way he looks – pale, sweat-damp, like he’s been marinating in sickness for hours without bothering to take care of himself. which, knowing him, is probably exactly the case.

“you haven’t eaten, have you?”

jake, stubborn as ever, lifts his chin. “i had a banana.”

you glance past him, into the dim apartment, where his couch is buried under a heap of blankets, and his coffee table is cluttered with an empty cup and what looks like an unopened packet of instant ramen.

“right,” you deadpan, stepping forward without waiting for an invitation. he moves aside automatically, like he’s too feverish to even pretend to stop you.

the air inside is warm, a little stale. you wrinkle your nose, setting the plastic bag down on his kitchen counter before turning back to him.

“you look worse than i thought.”

“you mentioned that already,” he mutters, rubbing his temple. “why are you even here?”

that question. you expected it, but it still sits heavy in your stomach.

“i was in the neighborhood.”

jake gives you a flat look. “you don’t live anywhere near here.”

you press your lips together. fine. he’s not going to let you get away with that one.

“i heard you were sick.”

this is a truth. honestly, it was your precious weekend after a long week of gruelling workload, you were planning on staying in and commit fully to the homebody tag you proudly wore like an honor, but ever since getting an urgent call from jay – who was the usual caretaker in your friend group – informing you in a voice filled with worry that he was out of town and somehow jake had ended up sick and how he couldn’t be there and how jake wouldn’t let anyone take care of him anyway, you had ended up pacifying your friend that you would drop by at his place.

jake lets out a slow breath, leaning against the doorframe. the way he looks at you makes your throat tighten – like he’s trying to decipher something, trying to read between the lines of what you’re really saying.

he won’t push, though. he never does.

instead, he just nods, running a hand over his face. “well. that explains a lot.”

you arch a brow. “like what?”

“like why i thought i was hallucinating when i saw you at my door.”

your lips twitch, but you bite back the urge to smile. “maybe you are.”

jake hums, as if seriously considering that possibility. his feverish eyes flicker over you, lingering like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he blinks too long. you can’t blame him. this – being here, stepping into his space again – is uncharted territory, and neither of you know what to do with it.

you clear your throat, turning away before the weight of his gaze unsettles you too much. “sit down,” you say, already moving toward his tiny kitchen.

jake doesn’t argue. he trudges back to his couch, collapsing onto it with a groan. he watches you from beneath his blankets, eyes hooded with exhaustion.

“you don’t have to do this,” he says after a moment. his voice is quieter now, almost careful.

you pause, rummaging through the bag you brought. “i know.”

it’s the truth. you don’t have to be here. you didn’t have to spend your saturday trekking across the city, picking up soup from that overpriced place he likes, remembering that he doesn’t like ginger in it, showing up at his door despite every logical reason not to.

but here you are.

you hear him sigh, long and tired. maybe he understands that arguing is pointless. maybe he’s just too sick to fight you on it. either way, he doesn’t protest when you kneel in front of the coffee table and open the container of soup, letting the steam curl into the air.

“eat,” you tell him, pushing the spoon toward him.

he looks at it, then at you. “you’re kind of bossy.”

“you’re kind of impossible.”

jake chuckles, though it quickly turns into a cough. he takes the spoon from you, fingers brushing against yours for the briefest second. it doesn’t mean anything. it doesn’t.

you tell yourself that as you watch him take the first sip, his shoulders sagging as the warmth settles in his chest.

“better?” you ask, voice softer than you mean for it to be.

jake doesn’t answer right away. he just looks at you, something unreadable in his fever-glazed eyes. then he smiles, small and a little lopsided.

“yeah,” he murmurs. “better.”

jake eats slowly, his movements sluggish from the fever. you sit across from him, arms crossed, watching the way he cradles the bowl in his hands like it’s the only thing keeping him tethered. it’s strange – being here again, in his space, close enough to remember how he used to lean against your shoulder whenever he was sick, how he always got clingy when he had a fever, how he used to–

you stop the thought before it can go any further.

“you’re staring,” jake mutters, glancing at you over the rim of his bowl.

“i’m making sure i keep up my end of the promise i made to jay. seriously, you can't still be this childish, refusing to even go to a hospital. what do you expect, that you’ll just get better if you rot in a bed for a few days without anyone to look after you–”

your words are harsh, you can feel them scratch your throat with their thorns, but they come out of a place of genuine concern and mild bewilderment at jake’s stubbornness. so you hope that at least a few of those thorns get stuck in your throat, for his sake at least.

“what about you?”

you blink at the interruption, lips parted midway forming your sentence. jake notices, shoving a mouthful of soup that burns his tongue before explaining.

“when you were in japan, you lived alone too. what did you do when you got sick…or, was there someone to take care of you?”

it's easy to pass off the quietness with which the question comes out to his raspy throat, but it does  nothing to soften the sudden drop in your stomach that resounds like a gong in your ears.

“how did you know i lived alone?”

i asked jay.

“jay told me.”

jake blows on his next spoonful of soup, waiting patiently for you to answer. did you have someone to take care of you?

you hesitate for a moment, caught between the truth and something easier.

“no,” you finally say. “i took care of myself.”

jake hums, like that answer is enough. like it doesn't leave a hole in the conversation. you expect him to drop it, but then—

“that must’ve been hard.”

you exhale through your nose. “it was fine.”

“liar,” he says, not unkindly. he sets the bowl down with a quiet clink, watching you with that same unreadable expression. fevered, but sharp. "you always hated being sick. said it made you feel helpless."

the words come from somewhere too familiar, a piece of history you thought had been buried. because he’s right. you did say that – once, a long time ago, wrapped up in his sheets with a fever of your own, curled up against the warmth of his body as he pressed a damp towel to your forehead. you hated it, the vulnerability of it all, the way it made you feel like you couldn’t move forward. jake had laughed back then, brushing the hair out of your face, promising you’d get through it together.

but there was no together anymore.

"excuse me?" your voice is sharp, defensive before you can stop it. but jake doesn’t flinch, doesn’t backtrack. he just keeps looking at you, feverish but steady, like he’s seeing through every wall you’ve built.

“you hate being alone,” he says simply. “you always have.”

your fingers curl against your palm, nails pressing into your skin. the room feels too warm now, the scent of soup thick in the air, pressing against your ribs. you don't know if it's his fever or yours, but suddenly, it feels like you can't breathe.

“i got used to it,” you say, and it’s meant to sound indifferent, like a shrug. but it doesn’t. it sounds tired.

jake watches you carefully, then sets the bowl down on the table with a quiet clink. his fingers trace the rim absentmindedly. “doesn’t mean it stopped hurting.”

you push yourself up, dusting imaginary lint off your jeans. "i’ll get you some water."

jake doesn’t stop you, but you can feel his gaze following you as you move around his tiny kitchen, familiar in ways you wish it wasn’t. your hands know exactly where to reach, where the glasses are, how the faucet squeaks if you turn it too fast. it’s ridiculous.

and he wonders what you might have gone through yourself. here, he had the safety of his friends, a reliable, if not burdensome indulgence for him. one call, and he was sure one friend or another would drop by if he was sick.

you however, had been all alone in a new country. new job, new people, new place, an unfamiliar language and no friends to call upon. did you let yourself rot in bed too? he wanted to ask you so much, but he still didn’t feel like he had the right to pry into your life yet.

it’s been a year since you broke up, two months since you met again, two weeks since you had that conversation – one where he admitted things you weren’t sure you wanted to hear, and you promised things you weren’t sure you could keep.

and now you were here, refilling his glass like no time had passed at all.

jake watches you carefully, his fever-flushed face softening in a way you don’t quite know how to deal with. his gaze lingers – not in the sharp, teasing way he would look at you, but in a quiet, searching way, like he’s seeing something in you he hadn’t noticed before.

placing the glass on the table, you make a final attempt at saving yourself. you’re not sure what you need saving from, jake is the one who’s sick, if anything you have the upper hand here (again, you don’t why you  need a upper hand in the first place), but jake’s sudden intervention had rattled you nonetheless. the way he kept on seeing through you like he knew you better than the back of his hand, even when all your cards were tucked safely in your han and the table in front of you was empty. 

“it’s not like i had a choice.”

“yeah,” jake murmurs. “i guess not.”

a silence settles between you, neither awkward nor comfortable, just there. you could fill it with something light, something inconsequential, but the weight of the moment keeps you still.

jake sets the bowl down on the table, leaning back against the couch. his head tilts slightly, exhaustion tugging at his expression. “you should’ve called.”

you frown. “what?”

“when you were sick,” he says simply, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “you should’ve called me.”

a bitter laugh rises in your throat before you can stop it. “right. because that would’ve been appropriate.”

jake doesn’t flinch, he just looks at you, steady despite the fever dulling his edges. “i wouldn’t have cared about “appropriate.”

you open your mouth, then close it again. because what can you even say to that? you hadn’t called him. of course, you hadn’t. it had been a year. a whole year of learning how to exist without him, of burying old instincts, of teaching yourself not to reach for your phone when something reminded you of him.

but now, sitting here, watching the way his fingers twitch like he wants to reach for you, you wonder if you ever really unlearned any of it.

you exhale, shaking your head. “just finish the soup, jake.”

his lips twitch, barely a ghost of a smile. he doesn’t argue.

maybe it’s the fever, or maybe it’s just him, but he doesn’t stop watching you. even as he eats, even as the warmth returns to his face, even as you sit there, pretending this is normal.

you don’t look back at him. you can’t.

because something about this – about being here, about taking care of him again – feels too easy. about the way he so easily manages to remind you of the past despite yourself, how he easily manages to look past you, through you, at you with those same kind eyes you had fallen in love with all those year ago. and you don’t know what to do with that.

so you do what comes to you naturally when your mind is crumbling on itself. you move, you work, you take action. you make yourself busy.

shrugging off your jacket, you push the sleeves of your shirt up and rummage through another plastic bag. pulling out a packet of fever reducing medicines, you pop one out of its pellet and hand it to jake.

“have this, then go to sleep.” there’s determination in your voice, you’re already planning out what to do, “i’ll clean up here and check on you later, so just go get some rest and don’t worry too much about it.”

jake doesn’t want to argue, but he doesn’t want to waste his time sleeping when he knows you’ve already made up your mind to stay in his apartment for the time being. also, he doesn’t want to make you clean up after him.

“wait y/n, you don’t have to clean up–”

“jake, for all i know, you’ve been marinating in your own sickness for two days straight,” you deadpan, already picking up the leftover dishes off his table and striding towards his kitchen, shaking your head at the sinkful of old dishes, “go to sleep, i’ll wake you up in a few hours and you can take a shower then. i’ll change your sheets while i’m at it too–”

you ramble off about the list of things you’re mentally taking note of and it makes jake dizzy. this is a side of you that is new to him. it’s like you’re giving him no chance at making a move. he sees you deal out your cards, it’s so clear to him, but he feels powerless right now, your back facing him like a sturdy wall.

he follows the line of your shoulders, the tension taut in them as you continue with your work, your hands moving on their own as you rinse dishes and rearrange the kitchen, though you’re not really seeing any of it. the soft clink of plates against each other fills the quiet room, but your mind is miles away.

behind you, you hear jake shift on the couch, a low sigh escaping his lips. it’s soft, the kind of sigh that says more than words ever could. you try to focus on the task at hand, but every time you move, you feel his eyes on you. it makes your skin feel too tight, your thoughts too loud.

you hear his footsteps receding as he makes his way to his room, the sound of his movements getting muffled the further away he moves. he doesn’t shut the door behind him, instead, getting in bed and letting himself be lulled into a sleep with the sound of your own movements in the kitchen. and it feels unreal.

jake is half certain that he would wake up and realise that this had all just been a fever dream, that he had indeed been hallucinating your figure, tat he had conjured up your voice from the depths of his memory, that the frown on your pretty face had been his karma – even in his dreams, you were upset at him. and for a while he tries to stay awake, fighting his heavy eyes and the soreness in his limbs and the weight of the blanket over his frame. 

you hear the soft creak of the bed, the rustle of sheets. it’s a quiet reminder that jake is still there. that he’s still so close, even though you’ve tried to keep your distance. he’s not the one who’s avoiding you anymore. you are. and every moment you spend not looking at him, not addressing what’s hanging between you, it feels like a crack getting wider.

a distant groan from the bedroom snaps you out of your thoughts. jake. his voice, thick with the fever, is a reminder of how everything is spinning out of control. you pause for a moment, eyes flicking towards the hallway, your heart tightening in your chest.

you didn’t call him when you were sick. you didn’t need to. you couldn’t. but right now, you’re here. you’re standing in his kitchen, pretending you’re not trembling with every second that passes, pretending you’re not dying to check on him. to feel something, anything, other than this cold distance you’ve forced between you both.

but you simply dissociate. your movements grow more mechanical as you tidy up, but you know that you're running from something. running from the truth, from the flood of emotions that threaten to break the fragile dam you've built. the truth is, you’ve been avoiding him for so long – maybe longer than you even realized – but the cracks are showing now, and it's making everything harder than it needs to be.

you try not to think about the past, the things you’ve buried, but it’s impossible. because here you are, again. taking care of him. watching him. being drawn to him despite everything that should keep you apart.

the silence stretches, only the sound of water and cutlery keeping you company. if you strain your ears, you could probably hear the laboured breaths in the bedroom. 

the glass in your hand feels heavier now, like it’s a vessel for everything you’ve kept inside. you’re holding it with too much force, fingers tight around it, but you don’t want to let go. you’re afraid that if you do, the dam will break. that all the words, all the thoughts you’ve buried so deep, will flood out and you won’t be able to stop them.

two.

somewhere in the middle of a restless sleep and the sense of a lingering presence, jake finds himself being shaken awake.

there’s a gentle pressure on his arm, squeezing his skin comfortingly and coaxing his eyes to flutter open. his head feels lighter this time around, weighed down by a damp cloth that feels like a balm across his skin, but its the hand around his arm that he really zeroes in on the moment he’s up.

so you hadn’t been a fever dream after all. that means you had been upset at him in reality. well, that’s a concern for later. all he registers is that you hadn’t left. yet. 

“hey,” your voice is tentative, just like your fingers curling around his arm as if you’re afraid you’re going to startle him back into consciousness, “you should get up and take a shower, i ran you some hot water”

your voice, it’s so quiet and sweet. your fingers graze against his skin when you remove the towel off his and run your fingers across the long strands of hair across his forehead – he shivers. your forehead puckers into a frown, palm flattening against his head again. a small sigh escapes his lips, the feeling so welcome, he lets his eyes fall shut again, but you move your hand again and all jake feels is the emptiness lying heavy against his skin.

jake blinks slowly, the sleep still clouding his vision as he processes your words, the absence of your touch a sharp contrast to the warmth you’d left behind. he swallows hard, pushing himself up with effort, the weight of exhaustion still clinging to him.

the cool air from the window brushes against his damp skin, and he can hear the soft rustling of the room as you move around, no longer hovering. you’ve given him space, and yet, he feels more crowded than ever by the silence between you two. the quiet hum of the room is deafening.

his hands reach for the towel you’d left behind, the fabric still warm from the contact with his skin. he presses it to his forehead again, and for a fleeting moment, he thinks about how this small gesture – this simple act of care – might have been enough if he hadn’t messed it all up.

when he shuffles into the bathroom, you're already there, standing at an awkward angle away from the showerhead as you twist and turn the knobs, one hand under the water to test the temperature.

“just a sec, it’s a bit too hot right now,” you barely glance at him as you continue with his ministrations. and jake? he’s honestly still too tired to want to read into your actions but that doesn’t mean his chest doesn’t twist in a weird way.

once you’ve determined the right temperature of the water, you move towards jake who’s leaning with his head against the bathroom tiles. the room itself is tiny, a two-by-two metre cubicle that feels too crowded with the both of you inside. jake sniffles, raising his arms in a pathetic attempt to take his jacket off but he’s obviously unsuccessful.

you don’t even spare a reaction, naturally moving to help him, maneuvering one arm out of his jacket, then the other. and it’s with this same instinct that your fingers reach for the hem of his shirt too, ready to pull it over his head but you stop at the very last second, almost abruptly, it gives you a whiplash.

instantly your eyes meet his. he’s already looking at you and unfortunately you can read his emotions all too well.

the shower runs in the background, steam curling up into the air, and you both stand there for a moment, hesitating. part of jake wants to stay lost in the haze of exhaustion, to let you take the call and help him take his shirt off. but another part – the part that knows you woldn’t dare unless he pushed you – wants to step forward with his arms stretched out, telling you to take it off for him.

jake swallows again, this time louder, his throat dry. he could let you take over, could surrender to the care you’re offering, let you guide him through the motions. it would be easy to let go, but there’s something about the way you’re looking at him – something raw and real – that makes him second-guess.

“i… i can do it,” jake says hoarsely, his voice quiet and rough, like it hasn’t been used properly in too long. his hands hover, reaching up toward his shirt but faltering at the last second. you see him pause, the conflict in his eyes, and for a split second, he wishes he could pretend it was just the exhaustion talking. but it's not. it’s more than that.

you stand there, frozen, hand still poised just inches from his chest, the tension between you two becoming almost suffocating. but despite the silence, there’s an unspoken understanding that lingers between you, a fragile thread that hasn’t snapped yet.

finally, you take a step back, releasing a quiet breath as you straighten up. you glance down for a moment, biting your lip, then look back at him with a mixture of resolve and something softer. "you should... you should take care of it yourself," you say, your voice a little strained, as though you're holding something back.

jake wants to argue, to tell you it's fine, to just let him lean into whatever you've been offering. but instead, he stays quiet, his gaze not leaving yours. he takes the final step toward the shirt, the fabric slipping off easily, but for some reason, the act feels heavier now. the weight of the decision, the weight of what it means to ask for help or not.

your eyes avert on their own, catching but a momentary peek of his naked skin. this shouldn’t be that weird, you shouldn’t be this flustered. you’ve seen him like this before, hell you’ve seen and done much more than this before, but that was then. this is now – you’re taking care of your sick ex who you’re just friends with.

you wish there was a guidebook for this sort of situation.

you swallow hard and try to keep your voice steady when you speak. "i’ll get you something to eat after," you say, your voice almost too soft, barely reaching him over the water.

there’s a pause. a beat that feels like it could stretch on forever.

"yeah," jake murmurs, his voice low and tired. "thanks."

you can’t quite tell if he means it, if it’s just the exhaustion talking, or if it’s something more. you don’t ask. the weight of his answer is enough. he’s waiting for you to leave before he can get into the shower.

almost against your will, your gaze flickers to him – just a quick look, a fleeting glance. and it’s enough to leave you breathless for a second. his back is to you, but you can see the way his shoulders tense, the curve of his spine, the way condensation already starts setting, dampening his skin with a thin layer of mist from the shower. 

you wish you could stay; it's a thought that startles you and embarrasses you. but it's also a thought that sobers you up in an instant, startling you out of your reverie and making your feet finally move. the door shuts behind you with a soft thud, but you don’t hear the soft click of the lock turning.

the moment the door clicks shut, you press your back against it, letting out a breath you didn't even realize you'd been holding. your hands are trembling slightly, and you quickly clasp them together, squeezing them tight to keep the unease from showing. you force yourself to breathe, to steady the racing thoughts in your head.

you’re just friends now. that’s what you promised, that’s what you agreed on. but why does everything about this feel so far from simple?

the faint sound of the shower running leaks through the thin walls. a knot tightens in your stomach. you press your palms against the door, the coolness of the wood grounding you for a second. this is supposed to be temporary, you remind yourself. just a few more hours, a couple of days at most, and you’ll both go back to your separate lives. you can’t afford to let yourself slip back into this space. not now.

jake stands still in the shower, the hot water cascading over him, though it does little to wash away the frustration building inside. his thoughts race faster than the droplets falling from the showerhead, each one a sharp reminder of how easy it was to slip back into this. the moment you stepped into the apartment, everything shifted. even though you'd kept your distance, it didn’t take much for him to feel the pull again.

he shuts his eyes tighter, pushing the water away, wishing it could drown out the thoughts swirling in his head. why? why was it so easy to let you back in? how did you always know the right thing to do? 

then again, he had always blindly believed you back when you were together, trusting your decisions like they were the bible itself. maybe that had been his downfall in a way, when he had reluctantly but respectfully agreed to the breakup. thinking about it now, you were wrong. you had been so wrong, and he had resented you for it. he had resented himself for believing you just because he was in love with you and he realised not much had changed, because he had let you fool him again by making him promise to be just friends with him. even after a whole year of repenting, resolving and regretting, it had been that easy for you to crumble him in your hands – all because he still loves you.

and he thinks that is reason enough to let himself be wavered by you – your imploring eyes, your worried lips, the frown on your face, the plea in your voice – he’d give in to you and your demands any day and every day.

but he doesn’t think he wants to. right now, standing under the warm water you had run for him, it enraged him a little how he had just stood there letting you do your thing while he waited. no, in fact, its not the waiting that set him off, he would wait for you for however long you made him, it was the way you had such an easy say in his life. how you could just do something, and he wouldn’t question it.

why should we remain friends?

he should have asked you that rather than agreeing along with you. you had given him no logical reason, but he had sensed the emotionally turbulent place it had come from, so he had left it at that. but now he wants to know. now he wants to know why you should remain just friends? why would you be here taking care of him when he’s sick? do you not still love him?

your voice from earlier lingers in his ears: i’ll get you something to eat after. the way you said it was soft, almost like a promise. but he can’t help but hear the unspoken words between the lines. it wasn’t just about food. you were offering something more, but you were hiding it behind the guise of something mundane. you were offering care, but you were also offering distance.

jake grips the edge of the shower, knuckles white as he exhales sharply. the water no longer feels comforting. it’s just another distraction. another way for him to bury his feelings.

"god," he mutters to no one, his voice barely above a whisper. "why do you still do this to me?"

he’s angry. angry at the situation, angry at himself for still caring, for still wanting you in ways he shouldn't. and yet, underneath the anger, there's an ache – a yearning that refuses to be ignored. he wants to reach out, to pull you back, to make you see that he still matters. that they both still matter.

but instead, he grits his teeth, trying to keep the heat of his frustration contained. no more waiting, he thinks. no more pretending.

when the water runs cold, he steps out of the shower, his body shivering slightly, but it’s nothing compared to the chill creeping under his skin. he pulls a towel around his waist and stares at his reflection in the foggy mirror. for a second, he barely recognizes the man in the glass. the person he used to be – the one who thought everything would just fall into place after the breakup, the one who convinced himself they could both move on – feels like a stranger.

but he’s done pretending now.

jake pulls open the bathroom door and steps into the hallway, the soft hum of the apartment the only sound. he doesn’t have a plan, but he knows one thing for sure: he’s not going to let this go without asking the questions that have been haunting him. not anymore.

you’re sitting on the couch, your knees tucked under your chin, a blanket draped over your lap. you’re only half paying attention to the television, head peeking up every so often to check the pot of soup boiling over the stove. the sight almost makes him turn back. almost makes him halt in his steps and rethink what he’s about to do. does he really want to break this moment?

i mean, he could retreat now, disappear into the quiet of his thoughts, and then return to let you serve him the warm cup of soup. he could play it off, pretending not to read too much into it, maybe even use the moment to ask about your time in japan. you'd tell him about how much you loved it, carefully sidestepping any mention of the loneliness you’d carried with you, dodging his prying questions with practiced ease. after that, you'd clean up again, hand him the fever-reducing pills, and tuck him into bed. he’d wake up feeling better, and you’d finally leave. and when you did, things would go back to what they were before. just friends. just the way it had always been.

and then you’ll keep being ‘just friends’.

but he doesn’t. instead, he walks towards you, his footsteps steady despite the whirlwind inside him. his naked torso feeling the brunt of his actions as the cool breeze pricks his skin.

"you’re not going anywhere, are you?" the question slips out before he can stop it, his voice rough. he’s barely even aware of the way his heart pounds in his chest.

you look up at him, surprise flickering across your face, but it doesn’t last long. you meet his gaze, steady, cautious, before they trail along the path of his body – his naked body, save for the towel around his waist. what the fuck.

"jake," you start, but your voice falters, unsure of how to navigate this new situation, “i’m right here, so can you please go put something on, you’re gonna get sick again if y–”

but he’s not going to let you hold back. not anymore.

"no," he interrupts softly. "i need to know, right now. why are we still pretending?"

three.

the room holds its breath, the tension almost tangible in the quiet after jake’s question. for a moment, neither of you speaks. your eyes flicker between him and the door, as if you could somehow slip out of this without answering. but you know you can’t. not anymore. not with the weight of his question hanging between you.

he’s let you convince him to put on clothes for the moment, but he refuses the bowl of soup you set in front of him.

“answer me y/n, i’m not eating anything until you answer my questions tonight.”

you can already feel a headache creeping up your neck. you sit on the other end of the couch, burying your head in your hands and letting out a weary sigh. jake had picked the worst time to be his stubborn self again.

you clear your throat, trying to regain control of the situation, but your voice feels small, fragile. “jake… i – i don’t know what you want me to say.” you stand up slowly, hands still gripping the blanket around you, though the warmth of it feels distant now. “you’re sick. you should just rest.”

but jake doesn’t look sick. not in the way he did when you first found him, feverish and weak, barely able to sit up. he sits across you now, your bodies separated by just a few feet. there’s a fire in his eyes, something raw and insistent that makes it hard to breathe.

“you’re avoiding the question,” he says, his voice low but firm. “why are we still pretending? why are you really here?”

“where is this coming from? i thought you were fine with me being here–”

“yeah, i was sick and barely in any condition to argue with you.”

“oh. oh, so now that you’re feeling better you think you can–”

“i can what?” jake’s voice is still raspy, but it's firm. it rattles you. jake has always been the more emotional one in your relationship whereas you took the reign of being the logical counterpart. yet now, you can’t find yourself coming up with anything close to a logical explanation.

you hesitate, the words swirling in your mind but never quite making it past your lips. his question cuts through everything you’ve been holding back, and you feel exposed, raw. this isn’t the same dynamic anymore. jake’s eyes bore into yours, his frustration simmering just beneath the surface, and you can’t look away.

“i – i don’t know what you want from me,” you stammer, your voice barely above a whisper. “i thought... i thought we were just getting through this. i’m here because i care about you, jake. i always have.”

jake’s jaw tightens, and he takes a step forward, his presence looming over you. his gaze doesn’t soften; it only grows more intense, more insistent.

“no,” he says quietly. “you’re here because you can’t let go of whatever we were, but you're too scared to admit it. you’re scared of what happens next, scared of how things might change if we stop pretending.”

the words hit harder than you expect. you recoil slightly, trying to maintain your composure, but the tension in the room feels suffocating, like you’re drowning in the weight of your own fear. you can feel your pulse in your throat, each beat hammering against your chest.

“i’m not pretending,” you murmur, but even to your own ears, it sounds hollow. “i’m... i’m just trying to make sure you're okay.”

jake doesn’t let you off the hook. “and what about you? what are you doing, huh? what about what you need?” his voice cracks just a little at the end, the vulnerability slipping through. you’ve never heard him sound like this before, and it shakes you to your core. the certainty in his eyes falters for just a second, but when he speaks again, it’s like he’s trying to bury it. “i can’t do this anymore. i can’t be the one who’s always waiting for you to come back, for you to decide if i’m worth it.”

you flinch. his words strike deeper than any physical blow could. he’s right, in a way you’ve been refusing to face him. you’ve been holding him at arm’s length, never fully letting him back in, always waiting for something – anything – that would make it easier to walk away without feeling like you’re suffocating. but jake’s not giving you that luxury anymore.

“what the hell are you even saying jake,” your temper rises now, you’re not sure if its the way jake deems the way you regard him or whether it's the truth of everything he is hitting you with all of a sudden, “you are worth everything i have ever put my life upon, don’t go around making me the bad guy. i have never deemed you any less than what you deserve, and you’ve always deserved the best.”

these words are unfiltered and sound almost childish in your ears. gone is the grace with which you pride yourself in forming sentences, now everything you’re saying sounds like some third grade rendition of a love letter. you burn in embarrassment and anger, because in the end, jake has reduced you to this state.

but jake doesn’t regard it as such, if anything, he’s gotten you to finally talk.

“what are you afraid of?”

you look at him, your throat tight, and suddenly, it feels like everything is crashing down. it’s always been easier to lie, to hide behind excuses, behind the safety of distance. but with jake right in front of you, his question still lingering – for the first time, you can’t push it away. you can’t hide from it anymore.

“what am i afraid of?” you repeat the words softly, like a question to yourself. but deep down, you already know the answer, and it terrifies you.

“i’m afraid of what happens when we stop pretending,” you confess, voice cracking. you can’t look at him as you say it – can’t bear to meet his eyes, because everything you’ve been burying under the surface comes spilling out in the form of this one fragile truth. “i’m afraid that if we really look at this... at us, there won’t be anything left to hold on to.”

jake’s silence is deafening. you risk a glance at him, only to find him staring at you with something close to heartbreak in his gaze. his lips press together, and for a moment, you think he’s going to say something, but then his chest rises and falls with a sharp breath, like he’s swallowing everything he feels.

“you think... you think that if we let go, we’ll be nothing?” his voice is quieter now, almost lost. but there’s still that fire in it, just softer. “is that what you really believe, y/n? that everything we had means nothing if it’s not perfect?”

you wish you could say something, anything, to make this easier – to make him understand. but it’s all coming out now, too much and too fast.

“i don’t know what i’m doing, jake.” the words tumble out, helplessly, just like the tears that start rolling down your cheeks, “i... i don’t know how to stop being afraid that we’ll just break again. that i’ll break, and i’ll hurt you, and then there won’t be any coming back from it.”

you hesitate, taking a shaky breath, and the real reason – one that’s been buried so deep for so long – slips out before you can stop it. “i was so scared of losing you, jake. but i realized that if i kept holding onto you like that maybe i’d end up suffocating you.”

jake’s jaw tightens, and you watch his expression shift. you don’t know if he understands completely, but something flickers in his eyes. you think about the time you walked away, the way you chose to close off instead of facing the fear of losing him to your own need for control. the thing you were so afraid of – the thing that led to your breakup.

“the thing is,” you continue, voice cracking, “i wanted us to be this perfect thing, but i couldn’t let go of the part of me that was terrified. i kept pushing you away. and then... when we finally did break up, i thought i was saving us both from more hurt. but all i was really doing was hurting you.”

jake’s hand inches towards you, afraid that you would pull away before he could reach you. when his fingers finally find yours across the couch, he holds on firmly. you don’t pull away.

“i thought you just didn’t need me anymore. that you were pushing me out, choosing to shut me out because you didn’t want to deal with the mess of everything we were.”

he looks at you, and it’s like his eyes are pleading for you to see it. “but i was just trying to be there. for you. i tried everything i could, y/n. you wouldn’t let me in. every time i pushed, you pulled back. and in the end, i felt like i was nothing but a burden to you. that was why i stepped back...because i thought it was what you wanted. i thought i wasn’t enough.”

the truth of his words settles like a weight in your chest, heavy and sharp. the weight of his hand on top of yours feels burdensome, but then his fingers start caressing your skin, thumbing circles across the soft flesh of your wrist.  and then you realize: all that time, while you were protecting yourself from the pain of losing him, you were pushing him into a corner, suffocating him with your need for control. and it destroyed the connection you had – your walls went up, and his came down.

“you thought you weren’t enough?” you whisper, the tears keep rolling, “i’m sorry. i was so scared... scared that if i let you too close, i’d lose myself in you. i needed to keep control, jake. but i never wanted to push you away like that. and i... i didn’t see how badly i was hurting you until it was too late.”

jake now turns to you entirely. all his yearning oozes out of him desperately, maybe it’s because you’ve finally had this talk, but he can feel the tiredness returning in his limbs, finally relieved. he expects you to completely push him away, but he reaches out regardless and maneuvers you with gentle hands across his lap.

“if you know now that you hurt me, take responsibility for it.” he says, letting you ease yourself in his hold. you’re hesitant at first, but with every stroke of his fingers across your cheeks, you settle down and let him wipe your tears away.

he buries his face against the crook of your neck and it's a feeling you don’t realise you’ve missed. the sigh that tumbles out your lips is just a testimony of you finally giving in to this feeling.

“jake,” your voice is a silent whisper, “you’re still sick, you shouldn’t be–”

but whatever it is that you think jake shouldn’t be doing is suddenly a thought flung right to the back of your mind when his lips meet yours in a silent plea. just the soft touch of his chapped skin against yours. it ends as abruptly as it starts.

“fuck,” he curses, slightly out of breath even though he hadn’t done much, “you’re right, i’m sick, i shouldn’t be kissing you–”

oh but who cares. it’s just a mild fever, so what if you fall sick too?

you’re pressing your lips against him too, shutting him up with a kiss that he surrenders himself into despite his own protest against his sickness. because you’re here, in his arms, kissing him like that's all you’ve wanted to do. and for once, jake doesn’t complain, because you’ve never kissed him like this before. you've never shown him just how starved you are for him. and he understands this feeling, he’s felt this way for you forever, but he’s also slightly dumbfounded at the way you hold him tight and kiss him breathless.

he feels dizzy again, but not for anything in the world is he going to stop you right now. he simply latches on to you tighter, pulling you impossibly close and moves his lips with yours, letting you bruise his own.

you both finally pull away, breathless, eyes searching the other like you’ve been lost in the dark for too long. the weight of everything that’s been unsaid, everything that’s been holding you both apart, is still there, but now there’s something else. a sense of clarity, an understanding that feels so fragile, like the first light breaking through a storm.

jake presses his forehead to yours, a soft laugh escaping him as he steadies his breath. “god, i’ve missed you like this. i’ve missed us.” his voice is low, raw with emotion, and you feel that familiar pull in your chest again – the one you’ve been trying to ignore, trying to convince yourself isn’t real. but it is. it always has been.

you pull back slightly, still tangled in his arms, your heart racing. “jake, i... i don’t know how to fix all the damage i’ve done. i don’t even know if i deserve to ask for another chance... after everything.”

his eyes soften, his thumb gently brushing over your lips like he's memorizing the way they feel against his skin. “y/n,” he says, his voice steady and sure now, “you don’t have to fix anything all at once. we don’t have to pretend like everything’s perfect, because it’s not. but i’m willing to try again, if you are.”

your chest tightens at his words, the weight of everything still hanging between you, but it feels like the first step. it feels like a chance to rebuild, even if it’s not easy, even if it takes time. he’s offering you the space to breathe, to come to him when you’re ready, but with no expectation that you have it all figured out. 

“i’m scared, jake,” you admit, your voice trembling. “i’m scared i’ll push you away again. that i’ll hurt you again.”

he shakes his head, a small, reassuring smile playing at his lips. “you won’t. not if we face it together.”

you feel a strange sense of calm settle over you, like a weight lifting off your shoulders, even though the future is still uncertain. but for the first time in a long time, it’s not so terrifying. maybe because you’re not facing it alone.

“can we... just take it slow?” you whisper, your fingers curling into his shirt. “can we rebuild this, piece by piece? i don’t want to rush it.”

jake smiles, despite the sudden dull thudding in his head.

“you’re asking for slow after you just kissed me like that?”

you know he’s teasing you, you feel the warmth flush your cheeks but before you can reprimand him, his hand moves to the back of your head, pulling you in for another gentle kiss; this time slower, deeper, like he’s memorizing the way you feel against him. when he pulls away, there’s a look in his eyes that tells you more than words ever could.

“slow’s fine with me,” he murmurs. “we’ll do it at our own pace. whatever it takes.”

you bury your face in the crook of his neck; it feels like home.

“thank you,” you whisper, even though you’re not entirely sure what you’re thanking him for yet. for understanding? for being patient? for loving you despite everything?

you don’t know. but you’re grateful.

“i’ll make it right, jake,” you say, your voice muffled against his skin. “i’ll find a way to make it right.”

and for the first time, you truly believe it.

epilogue.

a week later, you’re sprawled on the couch, tissues scattered around you, feeling miserable. jake walks in, grinning, holding soup and medicine.

“you really went for it, huh?” he teases, setting the soup down. “kissed me, and now you’re sick.”

you groan. “you didn’t have to kiss me back so passionately.”

jake laughs. “what can i say? i had to make up for lost time.”

you roll your eyes but can’t help smiling. “well, it’s your fault. i was fine until you—"

“don’t even try to blame me,” he cuts in, sitting beside you. “we both know you loved it.”

before you can retort, jay pops his head out from your kitchen, shaking his head. “you two seriously couldn’t wait a week to not get sick?”

you throw a pillow at him. “shut up, jay.”

he grins. “i’m just saying, you couldn’t have waited at least a week, or at least till he got better? are you guys animals, did you have to make out right then?”

you groan and pull the blanket tighter around yourself. “jay, please, you’re killing me.”

jake chuckles, clearly amused by jay’s teasing. “i’m sure it was worth it.”

jay raises an eyebrow. “it better have been. you’re both out of commission now. y/n’s got the cold, and i’m stuck being the responsible one. like i don’t have enough to deal with.”

you glance at jake, still leaning into him for comfort, and say in your best innocent voice, “you could always leave, jay. let us suffer in peace.”

jay gives you a mock glare. “oh, i see how it is. i come over to check on you, and now i’m the bad guy.”

jake smirks, clearly enjoying the banter. “you’re lucky we didn’t need you to play nurse. we’ve got it covered.”

jay rolls his eyes dramatically, then turns to leave. “fine. but if you two are going to be in here swapping germs and cuddling like an old married couple, don’t say i didn’t warn you.”

before he can disappear completely, you call out after him. “hey, jay?”

he pauses at the door.

“next time, bring actual medicine. not just your sarcasm.”

jay grins, tossing a playful wink over his shoulder. “can’t help it, y/n. it’s what i do best.”

with that, he’s gone, and the silence between you and jake is comfortable, warm. you look up at him, giving him a half-smile.

“i guess it’s just us then?”

jake kisses your forehead gently. “just us.”

[crinkled-emotions]

She's baaaaaack...? kinda

As I'm sure some of us have heard, @sicktember is finishing up this year and I'm SO sad but as a thank you to all of their hard work, I thought I'd do something a little different!

Until September 30th 2024, I'm opening requests for me to write any of the prompts from 2021-2024's Sicktembers! You can see the lists under the cut :) (also all credits to the creators of Sicktember!)

You'll also find the characters/ships I'm open to writing about!

I haven't had enough time/motivation to write lately and I'm hoping this will get the ball rolling again.

Thank you so much to the creators of Sicktember for all of their hard work and great prompts for the last 4 years!

Think I'm missing someone in my list? Send me an ask or DM me!

The characters I'm writing for:

Tyler Owens (Twisters)

Jake "Hangman" Seresin (Top Gun: Maverick)

Jay Halstead (Chicago PD)

Evan Buckley (9-1-1)

Eddie Diaz (9-1-1)

Sonny Carisi (Law & Order SVU)

Looking for ships?

Tyler Owens/OC (Tyler/reader) (not written in second person)

Tyler Owens/ Kate Carter

Hangman x OC (Savannah/reader) (not written in second person)

Jay Halstead x OC/reader (unnamed) (not written in second person)

Evan Buckley x OC/reader (unnamed) (not written in second person)

Eddie Diaz x OC/reader (unnamed) (not written in second person)

Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz

Sonny Carisi x OC/reader (unnamed) (not written in second person)

Evan Buckley x Tommy Kinard

[aceofwhump]

what are some of your favorite graceland whump fics?? :D

Ooooh my BOY! There is not enough whump fanfics for Mike Warren in the world my friend. Here are some of my favorites:

The Silver Lining is in the Stuffed Animal by cancerthecrabbo Summary: When Bello spots him and attacks him in prison, Mike is a little worse for wear. With his stitches pulled out, Charlie takes him to the hospital before they go back to Graceland. Mike, in all his painkiller-induced loopiness, is adorable. The Graceland family takes advantage of the situation to get some blackmail.

what is a half-blind wolf (but a lamb missing an eye?) by cancerthecrabbo Summary: "Mike expects Bello to get between the two of them, perhaps elect to interrogate him, which might leave him some room to stay undercover. Instead, he takes a step back and gives Eddie a slow nod. He hands Eddie the gun.“ An alternate ending to the episode Pizza Box in which Bello decides to put his trust in Eddie, which means Eddie can dispose of Mike as he wishes. The tactical team waiting nearby gets to them before Eddie can kill Mike but not before he makes the saying an eye for an eye quite literal.

i dream with my eyes open by sonofahurricane Summary: When Eddie attacks Mike, Mike walks away but doesn’t get off easily.AU for 1x04, Pizza Box.

Lightshow by busigt_81 Summary: Mike loves running, it clears his head and helps him think about whats going on in his life and he needs it now more than ever.

Anchor by VampirePam Summary: When Mike crashes hard after his first reversal, Briggs is there to pick up the pieces. Missing scene from the pilot.

Panic by petersnotkingyet Summary: Bates wakes up in the middle of the night and finds Mike having a panic attack. Bromance ensues.

Three in the Morning by IveGotRedHair Summary: Mike’s not feeling well and Paige tries to make it better, he might be the new guy but Graceland is family.

Those Blue Eyes by Rosebud5 Summary: When Mike is stabbed and in critical condition, the Graceland family realizes just how much their dorky Levi means to each of them. Takes place during the “Smoke Alarm” episode, with some Mike/Paige and a few hints of Johnny/Charlie.

Under the Cover of Violence by GracelandFan Summary: Mike has to go undercover as a victim of domestic violence. Briggs has to play the abuser. All is going well until one nosy cop decides to help Mike out of his situation.

Reveal Those Baby Blues by Suitslover14 Summary: At least this time he didn’t have to call Charlie and Paige and Jakes, telling them that Mike had been stabbed and he had left him to chase after some nightmare in his past. At least this time Mike had a hell of a better chance of surviving. That is if he could just reveal those baby blues.

Not So Happy Birthday by WhumpageLover Summary: It’s Mike’s birthday, but the day doesn’t turn out so happy.

Dark by Miss DiNozzo Summary: Tags to 1x04, Pizza Box. Mike’s not doing well.

Mike Whump by TaliaFox Summary: Basically, a series of one-shots about hurt!Mike. Involved will be shooting, stabbing, kidnapping, etc. Mainly will be Mike and Paul, but others will be included. NOT SLASH.

Mike’s Mystery by WhumpageLover Summary: Mike comes home, beaten and covered in blood, after being gone for three days. He doesn’t want to talk about what happened, so it’s up to the gang to find out what happened to their Levi.

Sick Mike Oneshots by Miss DiNozzo Summary: As a huge sickfic fan, I’ve really wanted to see more sick!Mike. So naturally I wrote a million stories about it.

I've Had My Run, Baby, I'm Done (Let Me Go Home) by fanficfanatic826 Summary: What was he thinking?? He wasn’t..that’s the problem. He wasn’t. He wasn’t thinking when he shoved a couple of pairs of clothes in his backpack and left. He wasn’t thinking when he bought the one-way red-eye plane ticket to LA (in cash). He wasn’t thinking when he caught the cab here. No…Mike wasn’t thinking. He wasn’t thinking about Briggs and Charlie and Johnny. He wasn’t thinking about how safe Graceland was. He wasn’t thinking. Or Mike shows up to Graceland without warning fleeing an abusive relationship. This is a story about how the Graceland gang helps him heal.

Our Home By The Sea by PUNK_MENACE Summary: Something's amiss in Graceland—the living room is untidy and the dishes are still dirty. According to the chore wheel, Mikey is to blame. The question is, why? (Domestic!AU, no FBI or undercover messiness. Just the regular messiness of a handful of weirdos living together.)

Holding On For Dear Life by failed_turing_test Summary: mike is still getting the hang of surfing. briggs is still getting the hang of… lots of things.

a burning hill by girlfailurewhumps Summary: So many things hold memories; images, sounds, smells. Mike can't deal with the memories from this one

[pricelessemotion]

Labyrinth | Javy "Coyote" Machado

pairing: Javy "Coyote" Machado x fem!reader (prev Jake "Hangman" Seresin x fem!reader)

summary: [4k] Jake may be gone, but Javy isn't. The two of you navigate your lives and your grief. Together.

warnings: jake is dead, RIP jake, grief and mourning, emotional hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, sickfic moment, friends to roommates to ...?

a/n: coming out of my writer cave to post a tgm fic that nobody asked for. idk why I became obsessed with the idea of jake's widow!reader falling in love w javy but here we are! enjoy and lmk what you think <3

read on ao3 | navigation

Lieutenant Commander Jacob Michael Seresin died on a Tuesday morning. At least that’s what they tell you, you don’t remember much of the days and weeks surrounding his death. 

You flip the funeral card in your hand, over and over and over again. No expense was spared. It’s textured cardstock with fancy but easily legible cursive font. It reminds you of your wedding invitations. The back is a picture of him in his dress whites, face unsmiling. The same dress whites he’s going to be buried in. 

Lieutenant Commander Jacob Michael Seresin was called home

Funeral to take place at Graham's Memorial Home 

Reception to follow 

Called home. It’s such an interesting phrase. It suggests that he’s meant to be wherever he is now. That the house that you bought together, the plans that you made were all just a waiting room until Saint Peter called his name. 

You never considered yourself particularly religious. Jake, being born and raised in Texas, was a god-fearing Christian man. He believed in heaven and an afterlife. You’ve always been on the fence.

The day of the funeral, there isn’t a cloud in the sky. You want to scream and laugh at the same time but the only sound that escapes your mouth is a strangled gasp that has Javy taking you into his arms. It had rained on your wedding day. Poured would be a more accurate description. The officiant said he had never seen that big of a meteorological turnaround in all of his forty years of weddings. Due to California existing in a near-constant state of drought, there simply wasn’t the infrastructure in place to support the torrential downpour. Most of your guests had been left stranded in other states, their flights being put on a constant loop of rescheduling and then cancellation. 

You thought it was a sign. An omen. Now you wonder if maybe it was. 

Jake had simply shaken his head and laughed. He was never one for superstitions. It’s what made him a good pilot. He relied on skill and instinct. He said that there was no way in hell that a little water was going to get in the way of him marrying the love of his life. 

His mother lightly smacked him on the bicep for using such language in a house of god, before subsequently melting and muttering how she must’ve done something right. 

You think that this unnatural weather must’ve been his doing. It had been overcast and depressing all week. Or at least, as far as you could tell from your brief moments of lucidity before descending back into a fugue state. You know that he always hated the days that were few and far between when the weather would be too bad for him to properly run drills or train new recruits. 

You loved the man more than anything. He always reminded you of the sky, the way he took you to heights that you had never even imagined before. Still, despite the thrill and the rush of adrenaline, all you could think about was the fear of falling. 

Husbands and children have been left back in Texas. Jake’s mom and sisters have taken over the house. There’s not a dish left unwashed nor a basket of laundry left unfolded. You've eaten more casserole in the last week than you have before in your entire life. The fridge is filled to the brim with tin foiled pans that people will probably want back but won't bother asking for if they don't. Despite the array of choices, they all taste the same. Ashen and tasteless is the I’m-sorry-your-husband-died special. 

The house is more lively than it usually is, with four Seresin women milling around. You see him in them. In the quirk of their mouths, the tilt of their heads when they’re thinking about something, the hard line of their jaws when they hold back their tears. You can barely look his mother in the eyes because they’re his. 

They try to take you everywhere with them. Trips to the grocery store and walks around the neighborhood are treated as milestones when you spend most days unable to get out of bed. 

On one of the drives, you can’t remember which one or even where you were heading to they all seem to blur together in the end, you passed by a car wash. Jake would usually handle all the car stuff himself, but he told you to go here when he was on deployment because it was the only place that didn’t upcharge for ridiculous shit. They have one of those inflatable tube men outside. Waiting at the intersection for the light to turn green, you’re stuck looking at him. 

When they do finally leave, it's with little fanfare. They remind you of the food in the fridge and the local bereavement group they found. Kisses on cheeks are exchanged and you stand like one of those inflatable tube men at the end of the driveway, mechanically waving goodbye. 

Once the cars are gone from view, it’s like someone’s turned off the fan that’s kept you upright. You crumple to the ground.

–

Javy tries his best to decode the text that you sent him while his phone had been in his gym locker. The series of texts seems to get more and more incoherent as time went on. He was used to this by now. He had told you that you could talk to him about your grief at any time and that he would always be there for you. 

Which is how Javy comes to find you here. 

You’re on the ground outside. Green California grass caresses your fingertips, despite the near-constant state of drought. You know you came out here to look at the stars but closed your eyes when you could feel the Earth spinning. 

You feel like the two-headed calf because there are twice as many stars as usual. The Earth spins at a rate of 1,000 miles per hour. You swear, right there in the grass, that you can feel every single mile. You’re holding on for dear life. 

“Jake said that when he was a kid, he used to believe that stars were actually holes in the sky. The white light that came through was Heaven. He used to sit on the grass and look up and dig his fingers into the dirt. ‘Said he was scared that if he let go he’d float away.” 

Javy only hums in response. Slowly, his left hand nudges your right one. The warmth of his palm covers you and despite yourself, despite marring and ripping apart the beautiful meticulously cared-for lawn, you let go. 

When your hand rises to meet his, it’s not without a few casualties. Blades of grass are plucked from the ground making snapping sounds like muffled guitar strings. It’s the saddest sound you’ve ever heard.

–

“I’m thinking about selling the house.” 

The words hang in dead air. There’s a slight pause in Javy’s movements. From behind, you can see the muscles beneath his flannel tighten up before they relax again. He resumes stirring his coffee, the spoon hitting the sides of the ceramic mug with muted ting ting ting sounds. 

The mug itself is UT Austin merch from many moons ago. It’s Jake’s favorite. Or at least, it was Jake’s favorite. The mug used to remind you of quiet Sunday mornings and waffles for two. Now it just reminds you that he drank from it and put it in the dishwasher, thinking that he would get another Sunday, another cup of coffee.

You’re not mad at all that Javy is using it. On the contrary, you’re glad that the mug is being used for its purpose. That it’s not being memorialized and thus, rendered functionally useless. It drove you crazy to see it sitting in the cabinet collecting dust, but you refused to be the one to drink from it. It’s good that this memory of him is momentary and not a monument. 

Javy takes a long sip from his mug, cradling it in both hands as he leans into the kitchen counter behind him. “When you say thinking what do you mean?” 

Javy knows you too well. He knows that if you’re telling him about it, then it’s pretty much already decided. You’ve gone about every major decision in your life this way. You research and refine results until you’re sure that the way you’ve chosen is the only way forward. It’s how you decided that being with Jake was worth the risk of losing him. 

You never said that it was a foolproof system, just that it was the system you’ve always used. 

“I mean that I’ve already gotten the house appraised and have been talking to a realtor. She thinks we could list it and sell it before the year is out.” 

Javy blows out a breath, puffing out his full lips. He swirls his coffee cup once, twice before taking a sip and asking, “Are you sure that this is what you want?” 

“Yes, I’m sure. I can’t–” Your voice thickens until it breaks, the words brittle. I can’t keep living in a haunted house.

Javy nods, taking another sip before setting the cup down on the counter and saying the last thing you expected, “Move in with me.”

–

Moving out occurs with very little fuss. The other daggers drop in and out, taping boxes and dropping them off at Goodwill per your request, but everyone seems to be keeping a respectful, yet unnecessary distance. 

Before you even touched a single cardboard box, Javy went from room to room and photographed everything. From the arrangement of the magnets on the fridge to the clutter on your bedside table. He insisted that one day these would be memories to hold back on. That it wasn’t the house's fault that it was haunted. That sometimes ghosts don’t have to haunt you. 

You’re beyond the point of sentimentality anymore. If you were, you’d still be catatonic on the couch, refusing to sleep in the bedroom you once shared with your husband. Everything is objective. Every dish is just a dish and not the first real set of glassware that you bought for the house after eating off of paper plates when the movers accidentally dropped the boxed marked kitchen FRAGILE off the side of the truck. 

You’re glad that all of the Christmas ornaments are still boxed up in the attic. There’s one in particular that you loved. The one that you put on the tree first every single Christmas. It was the ornament Jake got you when you first got together. A silly little reindeer.

You’ve mostly gotten everything out of the kitchen now. The shelves are bare and now you will once again have to resort to paper plates and plastic forks until this move is over. You haven’t seen your new roommate–God, it’s still weird to think of him like that–in a while so you tentatively call out his name. 

“Javy?” Your voice is rough from hours of speechless focus. It cracks and breaks the silence of the house like a pebble on a windshield. 

He doesn’t respond. You call out again, removing your gloves and moving towards the staircase. The door to Jake’s office is left ajar. Javy volunteered to pack up the room and you let him without a fight. Jake didn’t spend too much time in his office when he was home. Honestly, you think it might’ve saddened you more to see his legal pads and his sticky notes with reminders that he’ll never get the chance to forget. 

You knock, easing the door open and softly calling out Javy’s name before you stop. There he is in the middle of the floor, head to his knees, back shaking with silent sobs. You crumble immediately. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and feel his wet face causing the fabric to stick to your collarbone. You don’t care. 

It occurs to you that the roles have finally been reversed. All these months, you’ve been so grateful for Javy’s steadiness. His immovability. You thought his lack of tears had been because he was processing his emotions in a way that was different than yours. You thought maybe he was better at compartmentalization than you were. And maybe that was true. 

You look around the room, hoping to find the catalyst for what caused this breakdown. Maybe there was a picture from the good old days, or an old card that Jake always meant to give him but never remembered to. But looking around, you come up empty. That’s when you realize that it’s not one single thing that set Javy off. It’s everything. It’s the dust on the keyboard. It’s the stale air. It’s the way the calendar on the wall has an X drawn through every day and then stopped in the middle of June. It’s the World War II book that has a bookmark placed so close to the end, you wonder if Jake was leaving the epilogue until after he came home from work. 

It’s been hours since Javy made his way up here. The two boxes he brought with him sit flat behind the door. They haven’t even been folded out. 

So you just sit there with him, rocking slightly back and forth. This continues until he leans back and spreads himself out on the carpet, not unlike the way you did all those months ago in the backyard. You burrow into his side, your ear pressed to his heart, paying attention to the furious tempo. You lay there until the hiccups in his breathing cease and the rise and fall of his chest is as rhythmic as waves crashing on the San Diego shore.

–

“You can lay down, y’know? This is your couch after all.” The gray L-shaped sectional is more than big enough for both you and Javy, who has been trying and failing to stay upright for the past twenty minutes. 

“First of all, this is our couch. Second of all, I will lay down thank you for offering.” 

He starts out perpendicular to you. His large frame takes up most of the sofa cushions. Though it can’t be comfortable for an extended time, he stays propped up on his elbow, making jokes about whatever's on TV. His exhaustion starts to take over and his elbow slips, one, two, three times. He always catches himself before his head drops too far, agile and responsive even when fighting sleep. 

You know you can’t outright offer it to him, so you go for the next best thing. Leaning back, you shift your position until your blanketed thigh is touching his bicep. From there, it’s only a matter of time until Javy gives in to the sands of time and his head falls into your lap. 

You’ve missed this, you realize. There are a lot of things that you miss about Jake, specifically. But this, the simple act of being close to someone. The simple choice to be there for someone else to lean on. Joy and guilt are like lightning and thunder. When one comes the other will soon follow. 

You think about this from the outside looking in. Javy coming home, kissing your cheek, telling you about his day. Him cooking dinner while you do laundry. You doing the dishes while he does the crossword. The two of you, lying down on the couch after a long day and watching television together. The scene is exceedingly domestic in a way that makes your cheeks tingle and your chest ache.

Your left thumb instinctually goes to caress the base of your ring finger, only to come up empty. Your heart drops to your stomach. Then, you remember. You always take off your rings when doing the dishes. It was best practice, to make sure that the delicate gems wouldn’t get unnecessarily tarnished. You’d never once forgotten to put them back on, though. 

You linger on the absence of the rings and the presence of the man sleeping soundly right beside you. Joy and guilt. Lightning and thunder.

–

There are large hands around your waist. Lips flush against the skin of your neck, murmuring and muttering words of praise and astonishment. Those hands slip lower and lower, rucking up the hem of your nightgown to your waist. Calloused fingertips brush the junction of your thighs and you feel heat licking up your center. 

Look at me while you come for me, baby. 

You do look up, mind overtaken by heat and lust and longing. Your breath catches in your throat. You know this jawline. You know these lips. You know that voice. 

Say my name. 

Your mouth goes to form the word but you lose yourself in huffs of breath and twisted sheets. You wake, just as you hit your peak. The sound that was so difficult to make in your dream state emerges from your mouth, watery and wanting. 

Javy.

–

You spend the next three days locked in your room. You take all your meals to go, even though you can see the disappointment on Javy’s face every time you do. Disappointment you only see when you are confident that you can look at him without bursting into flames. The opportunity is few and far between these days. He’s always in the background. Asking if you’d like to accompany him to the store or go on a hike. Your answer is always the same. 

Your forced solitude only lasts for another two days before Javy politely knocks on your door and enters your room. You mumble out a lackluster greeting barely looking up from your laptop or your desk. There’s a water stain near your left wrist, a circular ring that matches the bottom of your favorite mug. 

“Are you gonna tell me why you’re avoiding me?”

Maybe you should get a coaster. Civilized people used coasters, didn’t they? Civilized people used coasters and went hiking and did not have sex dreams about their dead husband’s best friend. 

Javy says your name. It sounds weary. Like he’s approaching a wounded deer, hoping that she’ll let him near her before she goes running off into the forest to bleed out alone. 

He sighs and sits on the edge of your bed, keeping a respectful distance. The mattress dips under the weight of him. 

“Is it because we’re living together now? Do you—“ He clears his throat and suddenly, despite being well over six feet tall, he looks small. “Do you regret moving in together?” 

You realize now that you’re not the deer. Javy is. He was living a fine and peaceful existence before you showed up with a shotgun and a need for flesh. 

His question is tentative. Bleeding out in a forest alone doesn’t sound so bad, all things considered. 

“No!” You blurt out your answer so fast it almost startles you. You take a moment, “No that’s not it at all.” 

“Then what is it? Is it something I did?” 

“Not exactly.” 

“It’s just–God, I can’t believe I’m telling you this–I had a dream.” 

“Like a nightmare? You know you can talk to me about those–”

“Not that kind of dream.” Javy had been helpful with nightmares in the past. He knew how to calm you down, especially when you realized that waking up didn’t necessarily mean that the nightmare was over. 

He sits there, earnest and sympathetic and terribly understanding in a way that you don’t deserve and don’t know if you can handle right now.

“It was a sex dream.” You breathe out, cheeks hot and fists rumpled in your bedsheets. 

“Oh. Oh.”

You both sit in silence for a moment. Javy decides to break it. 

“Was it– Was I–” He tries so hard to make the words come out, but nothing does. His hands rest on his thighs and he furrows his brows and directs his gaze to the carpet. 

“I think it was because we’ve been around each other so much. And obviously, it’s been a while.”

Javy agrees with you because of course he does. You try to breathe some lightness into your tone, anything to battle this heaviness that’s sunken into the conversation. “It’s crazy how the human brain works, right?” 

Javy’s eyes drop to your lips, but only for a second. He smiles politely and bows his head in subtle agreement. “It is crazy.”

–

Flu season passes through San Diego like a plague. It seems every week, another one of your coworkers is out, whether it be their own health in distress or their children’s. It was only a matter of time before it came to you. 

Despite having gotten your flu shot, you experience probably the worst bout of sickness in your life. You’re bundled up on your bed, fluffy robe with the drawstring pulled tight. Javy is hovering in the hallway–because that seems to be his neutral state of being these days, hovering. He dares not to open the door because of your self-imposed quarantine. You’ve created an imaginary moat of used tissues and dirty clothes, all to protect the fire-breathing dragon that is your feverish body.

“If you don’t go, I will strangle you.” You threaten, though it comes out weak and nasal. 

“I can always reschedule–” 

“You’ve been rescheduling on this girl for two weeks! I’ll be fine, I promise! I’m probably just going to watch old episodes of New Girl until I pass out from exhaustion.” 

“Fine, but if you need anything–anything at all–just text me or call me.”

You verbally push Javy out of the door with more assurances and less thinly veiled threats. Things have been awkward between the two of you since your confession. You’re almost relieved at your sickness and the way it has allowed you to avoid more unnecessary face-to-face contact. At least that’s what you tell yourself. But when you hear the front door shut and the sound of Javy’s engine starting up, you look around the room. Running your hands over the wrinkled bedding, a feeling almost like loneliness settles over you.

–

It was an unfortunate ending to a mild evening. A broken Javy crackled over the speaker before he was speeding his way across town. 

You’re shivering by the time he reaches you. Which makes no sense because you’re so hot that Javy hisses when his palm touches your clammy forehead. He’s about to scoop you up and load you into the back seat of his car when you come to. You murmur and whine and he tells you that he’s got you and he’s here. He explains that he’s gonna take you to the hospital and that seems to be the only thing that breaks you out of your feverish state because you open your eyes and tell him No hospital.  

He’s lucky that the upholstered lounge chair in the corner of your room is as comfy as it is because that’s where he stays for the rest of the night. He holds a cold damp cloth to your forehead, murmuring apologies when you whimper at the disorienting change in temperature. He routinely uses a thermometer, because damn your wishes if it means that you die in this bed on his watch. Your fever stays just below the concerning range and it isn’t until 4 am that it finally breaks. 

Only then does Javy let himself fall asleep. 

You wake up weak and disoriented. Javy pulled up the chair from the corner of the room to right next to the bed. After a bowl of soup, he convinces you to take a bath and changes out your sweat-soaked flannel sheets for fresh ones straight from the dryer. 

“Oh my god, your date! I’m so sorry—“

Javy waves you off with a wave and a gentle dismissal. He insists it’s fine. That there was no spark anyways. 

It’s not until you’re tucked under the covers with half a cup of tea on your nightstand that he slips into the hallway and sends out a text. 

Had a lovely time last night. 

I just don’t think I’m in the right headspace for a relationship right now. 

I hope you understand. 

[hearts-hunger]

i'll be your medicine || sam kiszka x reader

Read on AO3 | Masterlist

Summary: They say laughter is the best medicine, but you're pretty sure that's only because they haven't met Sam. | Standalone in the Sunshine Daydream universe

Pairings: Sam x Reader | Genre: fluff, sickfic (migraine), hurt/comfort | Word Count: 3k | Warnings: none! | Title song: “Deep End” by Holly Humberstone

A/N: My very first standalone fic for Sam and Birdie! This fic is a special gift to all the Sunshine Daydream besties. I hope you like it! ♡

“Yeah, man, I don’t know. I think if we add any more freakin’ reverb we might as well trash it.”

You winced a little as you listened to Sam talking on the phone, feeling from the tone of his voice that he must not be in a great mood. You couldn’t exactly tell — he’d been talking to Jake as he came in the door, and they had been talking steadily as Sam started up the handful of household chores he liked to knock out before he settled in for the evening. He was unloading the dishwasher right now, and he seemed to be very impassioned about whatever song they were talking about.

“That’s not going to fix the problem, though,” he said firmly. “The whole tone of the song is riding on that.”

You still couldn’t tell if he was arguing with Jake or just having an overzealous discussion. You didn’t like not knowing; it had always made you uneasy to not be able to read someone’s mood, and that was especially true with Sam. He knew that about you and was usually very good about being straightforward if he was upset, but he’d barely said a word to you since coming home half an hour ago.

As worrying as that was, though, you had more pressing things to worry about. The familiar ache of a budding migraine was becoming less and less easy to ignore, and you felt yourself flinch when the plates Sam put away clattered against each other.

You curled in on yourself on the couch, praying the medicine would kick in before it got too bad. The last thing you wanted was a full-blown migraine with a grouchy boyfriend, if that’s indeed what he was, and you’d rather just take care of it by yourself if you could. Unfortunately, you were beginning to think you’d taken the medicine too late to head it off at the pass. Rosie was curled up next to you, and you tried to relax against her solid warmth and manifest a beautiful migraine-free evening with the power of positive thinking.

It took about five minutes before you gave up that dream. You could feel the pain starting to spread, settling in deep where it usually hit behind your eyes and over the crown of your head. You wanted to ask Sam to get you an ice pack, but you didn’t want make him more annoyed than he already was, and you didn’t feel like you could raise your voice enough to interrupt his phone call anyway.

“Rosie, come get your dinner.”

His voice carried from the kitchen, and you guessed you’d missed him getting off the phone with Jake. You weren’t surprised; it was getting to the point where a bomb could go off and you’d be too distracted with pain to worry about it.

Still, you tried to stay tuned in to Sam; you’d missed him, and you were looking forward to spending time with him now that he was home and off the phone. He called for Rose again, but she didn’t move from her spot beside you. With effort, you sat up and tried to nudge her to go into the kitchen. 

She looked up at you and cocked her head, and you knew she wouldn’t get up unless you did. She always knew when you weren’t feeling well, and she liked to stay close and keep an eye on you when you were sick or unhappy.

You sighed. You didn’t want her to feel torn between you and Sam, but you also didn’t have the energy to try and redirect your sweet, protective, somewhat stubborn dog. 

“Come on, Rosie,” you said quietly. “Daddy’s calling you.”

You only managed to get her to hop off the couch, and she looked up at you as she sat at your feet. You thought you heard Sam again, but all of a sudden, you couldn’t think about anything but the pain you were in; you sat on the edge of the couch and rested your head against Rose, burying your face in her soft fur, trying to ride the wave of dizziness and pain without bursting into tears.

You felt Rosie’s tail thump against your foot, and you guessed that was in response to Sam coming in from the kitchen.

“Rose,” he said, a touch of exasperation in his voice. “Come on, now. I know you want to be with mama, but it’s time to eat.”

She still didn’t move. You felt the tension in her even as she kept perfectly still for you, and Sam came over to see what the holdup was.

“What’s going on with my girls?” he said, hunkering down be the couch so he was at Rosie’s level. “You two just can’t be separated for even a minute, huh?”

Sam put his hand on your knee, and Rose gave a tentative kiss to the back of his hand.

“Come on, birdie,” he said to you. “You know she won’t go anywhere if she thinks you want her to stay.”

You nodded. You did want her to stay, but you didn’t want to annoy Sam.

“Sorry,” you said, lifting your head. You stroked Rose’s ear. “Go on with daddy.”

She gave the quietest bark you’d ever heard in protest.

“Rosebud, you are being downright contrary,” Sam said, giving her a playfully vigorous few pets. “You just don’t listen to anybody now, is that it?”

He looked up at you with a smile that was reassuring to see. “Has she been like this all day?”

Before you could answer, his expression clouded with alarm. 

“Are you crying?” he asked.

You touched a hand to your cheek and felt a few tears. You hadn’t even noticed them.

“Oh, uh... I guess,” you said weakly. “Sorry.”

“What do you mean, sorry?” he said, his voice tight with dismay. “Birdie, honey, what’s wong?”

“Um...” The brave face you’d tried to put on had started to crumble, and even if he was in a bad mood, you needed his help. 

“Migraine,” you said in a small voice. “It’s really bad.”

He took a sharp breath. “Okay, baby.” He kept his voice calm for you. “Have you taken any medicine?”

You nodded. “It’s not — ” Your voice caught. “Not really helping.”

“It will in a little bit,” he assured you. “We just have to give it some time to work. Let me go get you an ice pack, okay?”

He left Rosie with you and went back to the kitchen, and you heard him rummaging around for a few moments before he returned.

“Drink some water,” he said, handing you his water bottle. He turned the lights off in the living room, leaving only the light from the kitchen, and knelt in front of you again to hold the ice pack to your temple. “Where does it hurt?”

“Everywhere,” you said miserably. Your head was wreathed in pain, but the ice was helping a little.

He studied your face with worry and gentleness. “I’m sorry, birdie. Did it come on all of a sudden?”

Your throat felt tight as you looked at him. “No,” you said quietly.

“No?” he repeated. His brow knit. “You didn’t say anything, sweetheart.”

“I didn’t know if you were angry.” Your voice was wobbly. “I thought if I took some medicine, I wouldn’t have to bother you.”

Even in the dim light, you could plainly read the surprise on his face. “What do you mean?” he asked. “Why would I be angry?”

“I thought you were arguing with Jake,” you admitted. “That maybe you had a bad day at work, and you were still in the middle of it when you got home. And since you didn’t say anything to me when you got here, I thought...” You bit the inside of your cheek. “I didn’t want to make it worse.”

“Oh, honey.” He touched your cheek. “I wasn’t angry. I just got caught up talking to him, but I shouldn’t have been on the phone when I came home. I’m sorry. Thank you for being so patient with me when I’m being stupid.”

That coaxed out a watery laugh, and he gave you a gentle smile.

“I’m really sorry, birdie,” he said sincerely. “You know you can interrupt anything if you need to ask me for help, right? Especially if you’re hurting.”

Your eyes welled with tears, but you didn’t know if it was from the pain or the relief of having Sam with you after missing him all day.

“Thank you,” you said softly.

“No need to thank me, birdie,” he said gently. “I love you, and I want to take care of you.” He switched the ice pack to rest against the opposite temple and brushed the tears from your face. 

“Sweetheart,” he said, his voice soft and worried. “Does it hurt that bad?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted.

He hummed. “Yeah. Just everything all together, huh?”

You nodded. “I missed you.”

“Aw, birdie.” He kissed your face when you hugged him, holding you close for a moment. “I missed you too. I’m sorry you don’t feel good.”

He ran a hand over Rosie’s head, and she wagged her tail at finally being included after sitting patiently at your side. 

“And you were just looking after mama, weren’t you, sweet girl?” he said. He gently scuffed his hand up and down her side. “You’re a good girl, Rosie.”

She rested her chin on your knee again, and Sam smiled.

“Yeah, you love your mama. I know.” He patted the couch cushion. “Come up here and lay with her.”

She did obey him that time, and you curled up with her as Sam spread a soft blanket over you.

“What can I do, birdie?” he asked, brushing your hair back from your face. 

You tried to think of what had helped last time you got a migraine this bad. You knew there wasn’t much for it but to wait until the medicine kicked in, but surely there was something you could do.

“I don’t know,” you said pitifully, knowing it wasn’t helpful.

“What about some coke?” he offered. “I think the caffeine helps, right?”

You nodded. “I don’t think we have any here, though.”

Sam had already pulled out his phone. “Good thing we live in the modern age. Do you want anything to eat?”

“I don’t think so. Well, maybe. I don’t know.” You groaned. “I hate this. I can’t even think straight.”

“So you’re thinking about Anne Hathaway? Sounds like a pretty good migraine to me.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re so dumb.”

He smiled. “Yeah, but I made you laugh, and you know what they say about laughter being the best medicine.”

You tipped your face up towards him, and he leaned down to give you a gentle kiss. You felt an incredible relief to be with Sam, to have him making dumb jokes for you, to know that you could depend on him and rest completely in his care for you. The tension you’d carried since he’d come home gave way to the familiar comfort of simply being with him, and it made all the difference.

“So, a large coke... extra ice, yeah?” he asked.

“Yes please.” You hid your face behind the blanket and pressing the ice pack to your forehead. “I wish this medicine would be the best medicine. That would be great.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” he said, a little distracted as he placed your order. “Listen, I’m just going to get you something to eat, and you can decide later if you want it. Okay?”

“Uh-huh.”

He gave a sympathetic chuckle. “My poor birdie.” He pocketed his phone. “Do you want to watch a movie to take your mind off it? Or will the sound and the light make it worse?”

“I think I just want to lay here in the dark for a while, if that’s okay.”

“That’s perfectly fine, sweetheart.”

“Can you sit with me?”

“Of course.”

With a little maneuvering, all three of you found room on the couch; you lay with your head in Sam’s lap, and Rosie was curled up at your feet.

“Can I put the ice pack on the other side?” you asked, feeling a little sheepish.

“Oh, sure,” he said easily, doing it for you and putting the ice pack between your head and his lap. “You know, I was just thinking I wanted a nice ice pack to the crotch. It’s refreshing, really.”

You laughed. “Thanks. Let me know if you get a little too frosty.”

He leaned his head back and absently played with your hair, breathing a tired sigh. “This is nice, actually. We should lay in the dark more often.”

“Yeah, it is nice.” You wished you weren’t in pain, but other than that, it was nice. “So what were you not-arguing with Jake about?”

He hummed. “Well, that’s kind of a long, involved story.”

You closed your eyes and relaxed against him. “I like long, involved stories. Tell me.”

He did, and it was soothing to listen to him as he wove you a tale of brotherly bickering and artistic decision-making. By the time your food arrived, you’d managed to follow only half of the narrative twists and turns, but the sound of his voice had worked its magic.

“There’s your coke, birdie,” he said quietly, easing you up so he could get off the couch. “Be right back.”

He came back in with bags of takeout, and you found you were feeling well enough to sit up and take your drink when he offered it to you.

“Feeling better, baby?” he asked.

“A little,” you said. You took a long drink. “Thanks for getting this.”

“Sure. I hope it helps.” He set the bags on the coffee table. “Are you hungry?”

You thought about it. You still felt achy and woozy, but your appetite had returned somewhat.

“Did you get any fries?” you asked.

The corner of his mouth tipped up. “Yep.”

The three of you got settled again, and Rosie took a few minutes from her vigil to have her dinner; you and Sam started a documentary about the making of Friday the 13th.

“I still don’t know why you like to watch this documentary when you won’t watch the movie,” Sam said. “Makes no sense, birdie.”

You laughed. “The movie’s scary!” you said. “And lakehouses are supposed to be about romance, not murder.”

He gave you a cocky smirk. “You’d know all about lakehouse romance, wouldn’t you?”

You blushed. The two of you had just celebrated your anniversary a few weeks ago; you’d gone up to stay at the same cabin where you’d fallen in love, and Sam had certainly pulled out all the stops to make it romantic in every sense of the word.

He picked up your ice pack and touched it to your cheek. “Here, birdie. Your cheeks are all red.”

You laughed and pushed it back towards him. “You’re awful.”

He kissed your cheek to soothe the icy sting. “You’re beautiful.”

You finally felt the medicine start to work as you had dinner, and Rosie came back with her chewy bone to keep her occupied as she sat next to you. Sam cleaned up when you were done, and when he came back to the couch, he asked if you wanted him to braid your hair.

“I just thought it might help,” he said. “But you look like you’re feeling better, actually.”

“I am,” you said. Between the medicine and Sam’s ministrations, you had started to feel much better. “But I would love it if you braided my hair.”

He smiled. “Say no more, my love.”

You sat on the floor between his legs, and from the first moment his fingers started to gently untangle your hair, you were in heaven. He took his time, lightly scratching your scalp, rubbing circles along your temples and behind your ears, gathering your hair just to brush his fingers through it in a soothing, repetitive motion.

“This is some braid,” you mumbled, content and starting to feel sleepy now that the pain had subsided.

He chuckled. “Does it feel good, birdie?”

You hummed in agreement. “Thank you.”

He kissed the crown of your head. “You’re welcome.”

He finally did put your hair in a simple braid, and you rested your head against his knee when he was done.

“I decided something,” you said.

“Oh yeah?” He traced his fingers over your jaw. “What’s that?”

You wrapped your arms around his leg. “I think you’re the best medicine.”

“Sweet birdie,” he said gently, and you could hear the smile in his voice. “I’m glad I could help, honey. And I’m really glad you’re feeling better.”

He tugged lightly on your braid. “But I can tell you’re sleepy, and I don’t think you want to sleep on the floor.”

Reluctantly, you got up from your spot and joined him again on the couch. You snuggled up to him as he leaned against the arm of the couch, and he tried to pull the blanket over the two of you.

“Rosie,” he said. “You’re on mama’s blanket.”

He pulled it again, gently, just enough to tell her to move. She hopped down from the couch and then hopped right back up, tucking herself by your feet once you and Sam were settled.

“There we go,” Sam said, putting his arm around you. “Sammy and birdie and Rosie, all snuggled up.”

You toyed with his necklace as he put on another movie, knowing you’d be asleep before it was five minutes in.

“Just push me off when you want to get up,” you said. You knew he wasn’t ready for bed yet and didn’t want him to feel like he had to stay for your sake after you’d fallen asleep.

He laughed, and you loved the sound of it all rumbly and warm in his chest.

“I don’t think I’ll just push you off, birdie,” he said. “But thanks. I’ll keep that option in mind.”

You cuddled close. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“You’re very welcome,” he said gently. He ran his hand up and down your back, easing the last of your pain until it faded completely. “I love you, birdie.”

You gave a sleepy, contented sigh as you fell asleep. “I love you too.”

sam taglist: @lil-twilight-glow @ageoffleeet

gvf taglist:@malany-gvf@spark-my-nature@eearevee@madneedshelp@demonrat444@josh-iamyour-mama @honeyandsweettae @mydarlingdanny@gretavandann@sacredjake@myleftsock@joshskittytickler21@hellowgoodbye@watchingovergvf2@fearfulspirit@mywaysoon@carbondancingthroughtime@caprisunsister @eraofstardustchords @sacredthefran@shesawomaninadream @serendipiti @demonrat444@wildflowerxx-x@tearsofdanny @iluvjoshkiszka @jordie-gvf-admin@demolitionndann @hi-hi-hello11 @wildbluesorbit @nessie-glorpa @laneygvf

@gvfrry@ohhey1293@the-chaotic-cow@mountain-in-springtime@xserenax-13@stardustjtk @brooke-gvf@weightofdreams-gvf@jakeydoesit@gretasmokerising@hayley1623@doodle417@finestoflines@brokenbellz@bowievanfleet@s0livagant@strugglingtodoshit@s-u-t@kay-jordan@gretavanfleas@jakeyboiiiiiii@gretavansteph@gretavanbitches@myownparadise96@luverleaver@weightofdreamz@greatervanfleet@maedesculpaeusoubi@jakekiszkasbestie@pineapple-photographer@baguettejuliette@alexxavicry@levi-wants-ur-bones@carlybubs@cowboysamkiszka@dannyandthekiszkas@jordierama@slutforsteve@starshine-wagner@quartzzzzzzz@edgeofdreams@writingcold @lostoverseer @catharu77 @mackalah@jaketlove @haileygvf @blacksoul-27 @ur-m0ms-blog

sorry if tumblr didn’t tag you — it’s stupid sometimes. but i’m real thankful for you, sweet peaches! and if you’re a new bestie and would like to be added to my taglist, check out the form right here! ♡

[indybob]

As I begin finalizing my current long fic, Maybe We Were Always Meant To Be I have come to the realization that I have 20 one-shot/significantly shorter story ideas for Hangster. I know which one I’ll write first, but after that I have no idea. I’m going to list the top 10 I’m most excited to write below with a brief synopsis and you can vote in the poll for which one you’d like to read the most!

(I may or may not follow this, but it’ll give me an idea of what people would like to read and a starting point😄)

Story Ideas:

The Ball’s in Your Court: A few years pre-canon, Bradley and Jake hook up every year at the Navy Ball. They spend the night making each other jealous with other people, even though they know they’re going to fall into bed together when it’s all said and done.

Chasin’ That Desire: Set immediately post-mission, Bradley undergoes a minor surgery for a dislocated shoulder from ejecting. He and Jake patch things up, and Jake helps him through his rehab as their feelings for each other grow stronger.

Forever’s in Your Eyes: After an outdoor barbecue party in their backyard, Jake and Bradley lay in their hammock sipping the left over wine. Bradley realizes he can’t wait another second before asking this man to be his forever.

Bubbles and Bubbly: a smutty story that is essentially just Bradley throwing Jake a surprise anniversary dinner and a night of romance at home.

Hey Stranger, This is Your Stop: After being stood up on a date, Finance Worker!Bradley and Business Executive!Jake meet when Bradley falls asleep on his shoulder while on the subway in NYC. They hit it off and Jake asks Bradley out on a date. (Part of a series of AUs set in New York City).

Through a New Lens: Photographer!Bradley meets Model!Jake at an underwear shoot for a fashion brand. Jake inquires about a private photo shoot with Bradley one-on-one once the underwear shoot is over. Potentially smutty, I’m not sure yet.

It’s a Date: Author!Bradley meets Journalist!Jake at a coffee shop while dodging a stalker. Jake buys Bradley a latte, and they hit it off. (Part of a series of AUs set in New York City).

Sparks Fly: Based on “Sparks Fly” by Taylor Swift, Bradley has been trying to figure out how to tell Jake how he’s been feeling for a long time. Bradley decides the best way he knows how to be sincere is through music, so he plays a song dedicated to Jake one night at the Hard Deck.

No title for this one yet, but a sickfic where Jake gets sick for the first time in years and refuses to accept help. Thankfully Bradley is too stubborn to let Jake handle it all alone.

Everything Gets Hotter (When the Sun Goes Down): A fic about Jake and Bradley’s honeymoon, featuring some of their activities during the day, and their time in the bedroom at night.

[heeambi]

╰┈➤ ✦ Welcome to my masterlist! A collection of soft dreams, bittersweet heartbreaks, and stolen kisses, all woven into words. Thank you for visiting here! ♡

╰┈➤ ✦ Note:

✧ 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘮 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘥𝘰 𝘪𝘵.

✧ 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘴, 𝘴𝘰 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬!

┊ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆

⟡ 𝗥𝗨𝗟𝗘𝗦 ⟡

𓆩 ♡ 𓆪 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘴. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘕𝘪-𝘬𝘪 𝘰𝘳 𝘞𝘰𝘰𝘯𝘩𝘢𝘬.

𓆩 ♡ 𓆪 𝘋𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯.

𓆩 ♡ 𓆪 𝘙𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯/𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 → 𝘊𝘩𝘦𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯𝘦!

𓆩 ♡ 𓆪 𝘏𝘢𝘵𝘦, 𝘯𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘥.

𓆩 ♡ 𓆪 𝘉𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘶𝘱𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴. 𝘐 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦.

⟡ 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗠𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 ⟡

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ᡣ𐭩 𝓛ee 𝓗eeseung ∘

⭑ ˚₊· ୨♡୧ The Vocal King's Sore Throat — drabble ✧ Humor ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ fluff ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ comfort ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Slice of life ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ sickfic ┊ bf!heeseung x reader ╰Heeseung is overreacting to a sore throat, expressing exaggerated distress at the prospect of never singing again ﹒

ᡣ𐭩 𝓟ark 𝓙ongseong ∘

⭑ ˚₊· ୨♡୧ Sick In Style — drabble ✧ Slice of life ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Comedy ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Sickfic ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Fashion ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Banter ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Pride ┊ 168 ࣪ㅤ⋆ Bf!jay x reader ╰Beauty is pain, or so Jay claims—even when he’s coughing into his scarf and buried under layers of blankets. Who knew that catching a cold could turn into a fashion statement?

ᡣ𐭩 𝓢im 𝓙aeyun ∘

⭑ ˚₊· ୨♡୧ An Unexpected Visiter — fic ✧ light romance ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ vamp au ┊ 1.1k ࣪ㅤ⋆ Jake x f!reader ╰A cozy night turns suspenseful when Y/n discovers a battered stranger—who turns out to be a vampire—on her porch. What begins as a tense encounter shifts into an unexpectedly lighthearted interaction

ᡣ𐭩 𝓟ark 𝓢unghoon ∘

⭑ ˚₊· ୨♡୧ Boyfriend Stories — Smau ✧ Slice of life ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Light humor ┊ texts ╰Instagram stories that y/n posted about Sunghoon

ᡣ𐭩 𝓚im 𝓢unoo ∘

⭑ ˚₊· ୨♡୧ Coming Soon — tbd ✧ coming soon

ᡣ𐭩 𝓨ang 𝓙ungwon ∘

⭑ ˚₊· ୨♡୧ Coming Soon — tbd ✧ coming soon

ᡣ𐭩 𝓝ishimura 𝓡iki ∘

⭑ ˚₊· ୨♡୧ Midnight Mischief — fic ✧ romance ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ humor ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ fluff ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ secret admirer au ┊ 581 ࣪ㅤ⋆ ni-ki x reader ╰ You decided to sneak into the practice room late at night to leave a note for Ni-ki…. But you're caught in the act by Ni-ki, who teases you mercilessly, and Jake, who walks in at the worst possible moment.

ᡣ𐭩 𝐎𝐭𝟟 ∘

⭑ ˚₊· ୨♡୧ Coming Soon — tbd ✧ coming soon

ᡣ𐭩 𝓔𝐧𝐡𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝓣𝐞𝐱𝐭s ∘

⭑ ✧･ﾟRandom texts with Jake ⭑ ✧･ﾟ When You Ask Enhypen To Bail You Out

ᡣ𐭩 𝓗𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 & 𝓢𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐬 ∘

⭑ ˚₊· ୨♡୧ Coming Soon — tbd ✧ coming soon

ᡣ𐭩 𝓔𝐧𝐡𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝓓𝐮𝐨s ∘

⭑ ˚₊· ୨♡୧ Tangled In Love — fic ✧ Threesome ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Smut ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Friends to Lovers ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Possessive Behavior ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Dual Dom Dynamics ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Dirty Talkִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Oral (F/M Receiving) ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Multiple Partners ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Light Degradation ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Praise ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Mutual Desire ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Intense ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Chemistry ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Rough Sex ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Aftercare ִ ࣪ㅤ⋆ Shared Affection ┊ 3.2k ࣪ㅤ⋆ bf!jake x f!reader x bsf!heeseung ╰ Caught between the irresistible charm of Jake and the quiet intensity of Heeseung, you find yourself in a whirlwind of desire that leaves no room for second thoughts. What starts as a teasing game spirals into an intoxicating encounter, where boundaries blur and every nerve is set ablaze. They push you to your limits, leaving you breathless and utterly consumed. As the night unfolds, it’s clear there’s no escaping the pull of their shared dominance—because once they have you, they’re not letting go. ׂ