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brookecuzyes · 3 years

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The Captain’s Kid —

E.2: The Star-Spangled Man (Part 2)

The Falcon and The Winter Soldier Fanfic

Main Masterlist — TCK Masterlist

Summary: We think of the after-life as a peaceful place. A place where there are no worries. When a girl comes back from the dead, so to speak, she has to find a new place in society— which ends up with her becoming a superhero. She’s been trained for the worst, but nothing could’ve prepared her for the things she was going to endure.

Word Count: ≈3.5k

Warnings: a little cursing, racial bias

———————————————————————-

Three knocks could’ve been a delivery. A whistle indicated a rebellious group. The door opened with a small creak. The person behind the door unlocked the lock which held chains together so no one could get in. The girl who knocked on the door, Karli, stepped back while the person opened it all of the way. She and her group walked into the building without a word, while the person looked around and closed the door, locking it immediately.

“You must be famished.”

“Very hungry,” one replied, everyone unanimously agreeing.

“Okay. My wife and I cooked. It’s an old family recipe made with the finest chicken livers. Please serve yourselves. Anything you want. Anything. You ask me.” The group walked over to a table that held containers of the dinner the couple had cooked. “There is some coffee here and some crackers. Uh, anything we can do for the cause. Please follow me.” He started walking and talking.

“You’re becoming a bit of a legend. I hear more and more people talk about the freedom fighters who are pushing back.” He turned to Karli. “They call you Robin Hood. Every day, more people love you. You’ll find refuge wherever you go.” He opened a door which led to a small room, letting everyone in.

“My wife and I made this just for you. Everything is completely clean. She made it nice and cozy.” The group was starting to settle in, saying their thank you’s to the man, when Karli’s phone went off.

You took what was mine.

I’m going to find you and kill you.

One guy walked over to the computers to see the news on them. “Shit,” he said. “They’re already looking for us. I’m wiping out aliases off any public traffic sites now.”

“Karli, we can’t stay here for long,” said Lennox, another one of the soldiers. “Six years ago, would you have imagined people supporting a cause like this?”

“We’re not playing no more,” she responded. “We can’t let the same assholes who were put back in power after The Blip win. The GRC cares more about the people who came back than the ones who never left. We got a glimpse of how things could be. I need to know that you’re all committed, because after tomorrow, there’s no going back.”

“Yeah,” said Matias, after a few seconds. “One world.”

“One people,” replied everyone else.

“One world.”

“One people.”

“One world!”

“One people!”

——

Back on the plane, Sam was laying across the seats, Alyxandria was leaned back in a chair with her head thrown back, and James was sitting on a small cargo box (the same box Alyx and Torres was using earlier) and was just staring off into space in deep thought.

Sam looked at James and noticed his face. “You all right?” he asked softly. After a moment, he responded quietly.

“Let’s take the shield. Let’s take the shield and do this ourselves.”

“We can’t just run up on the man, beat him up and take it,” Sam replied, sitting up. “You remember what happened the last time we stole it?”

“Maybe.”

“You stole the shield?” Alyx asked.

“Yeah. Seems like James forgot, though. Let me help you out: Sharon was branded enemy of the state, and Steve and I were on the run for two years.”

“Oh, shit,” she muttered.

“I don’t know about you,” Sam continued, “but I don’t wanna live the rest of my life la vida loca. We just had our asses handed to us by Super Soldiers, and we got nothing.”

“Not entirely true,” Bucky responded. He hopped off of the box and walked over to sit a few seats away from Sam. “There is someone that you should meet.”

In a few hours, they landed in Baltimore, Maryland. The trio was walking down the street— in the middle of the street— to get to this person's house. There were two kids sitting on the sidewalk and they were excited when they saw Sam

“Hey, it’s Black Falcon!” The kid exclaimed.

“It’s just Falcon, kid,” he replied.

“No, no. My daddy told me it’s Black Falcon.” Sam stopped walking to converse with this kid but James continued walking.

“Is it because I’m Black and I’m the Falcon?”

“Well, technically, I mean, yes.”

“So are you, like, Black kid?” The kid threw a look and his friend started laughing.

Sam chuckled. “I got him, right,” he said to the kid laughing. The other kid blew him off saying, “Whatever, man.” Sam couldn’t stop laughing.

He caught up with James and Alyxandria who were on the steps of the patio. James knocked on the metal door, and it made a loud rattling noise. A teenage boy opened the door and inspected the three.

“We’re here to see Isiah,” James said.

“Nobody named Isiah live here,” the kid replied. James sighed.

“Look, we just want to talk to him.”

“You must not hear what I just said. You ain’t getting in this house. Y’all can leave now.”

“Tell him the guy from the bar in Goyang is here. He’s gonna know what that means.”

The kid took a minute before responding back. “Alright, wait here.”

“Nice kid. How do you know this guy?” Sam asked after the teen closed the door.

“I used to. We had a skirmish during the Korean War.”

“I feel like this is more than some skirmish,” Alyxandria added. James looked at her as the door opened again. He just gave her his stare and started walking in. The three walked in together.

“Today’s your lucky day,” the boy said. “He said he wanna see for himself.” They didn’t say anything, until James started talking.

“Isiah?”

“Look at you,” Isiah said.

“This is, uh, Sam and Alyxandria. Sam and Alyx, this is Isiah. He was a hero,” James explained. “One of the ones that HYDRA feared the most. Like Steve. We met in ‘51.”

“If by met, you mean I whupped your ass, then, yeah. We heard whispers he was on the peninsula, but everyone they sent after him never came back. So, the U.S. military dropped me behind the line to go deal with him. I took half that metal arm in that fight in Goyang, but I see he’s managed to grow it back. I just wanted to see if he got the arm back. Or if he’d come to kill me.”

“I’m not a killer anymore,” James replied. Isiah looked at him like he was crazy.

“You think you can wake up one day and decide who you wanna be?” he asked. “It doesn’t work like that. Well, maybe it does for folks like you.”

“Isiah, the reason we’re here is because there’s more of you and me out there.” Said James.

“You and me,” Isiah repeated.

“And we need to know how.”

“I’m not gonna talk about it anymore,” Isiah said harshly. He picked up a small metal container and threw it. It got stuck in the wall and made a loud noise while doing so. The boy looked upset. Sam and Alyxandria were looking at the container in the wall, while James was looking at the ground. Isiah started walking up to him and started talking.

“You know what they did to me for being a hero?” He asked. “They put my ass in jail for 30 years. People running tests, taking my blood, coming into my cell. Even your people weren’t done with me.”

Sam looked upset, in a way. “Isiah,” he said, but was cut off by him.

“Get out of my house!” He yelled. James turned around to start leaving and Sam was still looking at Isiah. The boy came up to him and said, “Let’s go, man, let’s go.” Alyxandria followed behind James, not sure what to think about all of this.

Sam was walking quickly down the stairs.

“Sam,” James said, but Sam cut him off.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Isiah? How could nobody bring him up?” He was mad. Alyxandria hadn’t seen this side of him before. They all walked back to the street and were walking side-by-side. James didn’t respond.

“I asked you a question, Bucky,”

“I know.”

“Steve didn’t know about him?”

“He didn’t. I didn’t tell him.” They stopped walking. Sam and James were standing across from each other and Alyxandria was standing on either side— in the middle, almost.

“So you’re telling me that there was a Black Super Soldier decades ago and nobody knew about it?” James didn’t respond and just stared at him. A police car approached them and let their siren go off for a second. Everyone turned their attention to the car.

“Hey,” an officer said, getting out of his car.

“What’s up, man?” Sam asked. He still sounded pissed, and this wasn’t helping matters.

“Is there a problem here,” a second officer asked.

“No, we’re just talking.” Sam replied.

“There’s no problem,” Alyxandria said.

“We’re fine,” James added. The officers walked closer to the three.

“Can I see your ID?”

“I don’t have ID. Why?” Sam asked.

“Okay, sir, just calm down.”

“I am calm. What do you want? We’re just talking.”

“Just give him your ID so we can leave,” James said.

“James, no. What have we done?” She told him, siding with Sam.

“Thank you, Alyx. I’m not giving them shit. We’re just talking!”

“Hey, hey. Is he bothering you two?” The officer asked.

“What- no!” Alyxandria exclaimed.

“No, he’s not bothering me. Do you know who this is?” James said, harshly. The other officer went up to his partner and whispered, ‘Hey, these guys are Avengers.’ The officer looked at him and went wide-eyed.

“Oh, God, I am so sorry, Mr. Wilson,” he apologized. I didn’t recognize you without the goggles.” Sam looked disappointed. “I’m really, really sorry about this.” James gave the same disappointed look when another cop car pulled up. “Guys,” the officer sighed, “just wait here, okay?” He walked away back to his car, his partner following along.

“I didn’t… I didn’t tell anybody because he had already been through enough,” James said to Sam, finally answering his question. Sam and Alyxandria just looked at him. Sam was pissed, Alyx was silently observing the situation. Sam shook his head when the officer came back.

“Mr. Barnes,” he said. “There’s a warrant out for your arrest.”

“Look, the president pardoned him for all that,” Sam explained.

“Not for that. You missed your court-mandated therapy. It’s like missing a check-in with your PO.” James just sighed. He knew. “I’m sorry, Mr. Barnes, you’re under arrest.” James complied with the officers, letting them take him. Sam and Alyx watched as they put him in cuffs. Sam continued to stare at him and didn’t say a word as the car started driving off. Sam looked back at Isiah’s house before walking off. Alyxandria followed him.

“Hey, Sam,” she said. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” He responded, keeping his eyes in front of him. Alyx turned her head away from him, catching the mood.

“Sorry, I’m just… pissed. That’s all,” he said after a moment. He stopped walking and put his hand on Alyx’s arm. “Don’t let me take it out on you.” She nodded and gave him a sad smile.

“Where are we going?” She asked.

“Getting Bucky. I don’t want to, but it’s the right thing to do.” Alyx chuckled at the statement, Sam too. They started walking again and Sam put his arm over Alyx. She rested her head on his shoulder, thinking about everything.

“Let’s not make this a regular thing,” Alyxandria suggested. Sam smiled and chuckled.

——

They arrived at the police department and sat down, waiting for James to be released, when someone came up to them.

“Sam and Alyxandria. I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Dr. Raynor. I’m James’ therapist,” Raynor introduced herself. The two sat up and Sam was the first to get up and shake her hand.

“So nice to meet you. Thank you for getting him out,” he said.

“That was not me,” she replied.

“Christina!” Someone called out. Sam and Alyxandria turned their heads to be met with John Walker. “It’s great to see you again.” Alyxandria groaned, putting her forehead on Sam’s shoulder— she didn’t want to look at the man.

“You gotta be kidding me,” Sam said. “You know him?”

“Yeah, we did some field ops back in the day,” she responded.

“I hear you were working with Bucky, so I thought I’d step in,” Walker explained. “Bucky’s not gonna be following a strict schedule any longer.” Alyxandria, by that point, had lifted up her head.

“We haven’t finished our work. Who authorized this?” Dr. Raynor asked.

“Um…” Walker said, then pointed at himself. A buzzer went off and a door opened. Alyxandria looked over and saw James walking out of the doorway. “He’s too valuable of an asset to have tied up. Just do whatever you got to do with him, then send him off to me. Got some unfinished business, him and I. You guys, too.” He walked away saying, “I’ll be outside.” Sam stared at him, and Alyxandria scoffed.

Unfinished business…

“James, condition of your release, session now. You too, Sam,” Raynor announced. She started walking to the corridor James walked out of.

“That’s okay, I’ll be out here with-“ he started, but was interrupted by Raynor.

“That wasn’t a request!”

“What about Alyx,” James asked.

“Rogers, you don’t have to come,” Dr. Raynor said.

“This isn’t fair,” Sam complained.

“It’s not my fault I’m the only functional one here,” she teased, turning around and walking out of the building. Sam glared at her before walking towards the corridor Raynor and James went through.

When Alyxandria walked outside, the first thought that crossed her mind was that she was going to sit out there for thirty or so minutes, waiting for the guys to finish their little therapy session. However, she was met with a different fate.

“Miss Rogers!” someone called out. She looked around and recognized two faces that she didn’t want to: John Walker and Lemar Hoskins. She reluctantly walked over to them, giving them a small smile.

“It’s Lieutenant Rogers, Captain,” she corrected, putting emphasis on ‘Captain’.

“My bad, didn’t know you were keeping the rank,” Walker responded, leaning up against the police car they were standing next to.

“Tell me a bit of what you got on these guys,” Alyxandria asked, stopping in front of the two.

——

“You guys are leaving me with no choice. It’s time for the soul-gazing exercise.”

“I like this better,” James said.

“Oh, God. He’s gonna love this,” Sam added. Their voices soon started overlapping each other, while the guys moved their chairs to face each other.

“You should really do this,” Sam said.

“I'm going to,” James responded matter-of-factly.

“Get close,” Raynor directed.

“This is a good exercise. Thanks, Doc,” James thanked.

“Alright, get close,” she said again. The guys scooted their chairs up, where their knees were touching. “Come on, a little closer.” They started to scoot up but stopped half-way.

“Which way you want to go?” James asked, moving his hand from left to right.

“Why’re your legs open?”

“Right or left?”

“You know what?” Sam said, moving his knee in between James’ legs. “Fine. Here. You happy now?” He pulled James’ chair closer to him. “We’re locked in.”

“That’s a little close,” James exclaimed.

“Very. That’s what you wanted, right?”

“Now, look at each other. You need to look at each other in the eyes.” Both guys started looking at each other. “There, you see? That wasn’t so hard.” The guys weren’t breaking eye contact. They weren’t blinking. Dr. Raynor caught on

“Wait, what’re you doing? Are you having a staring contest?” Sam’s eyes twitched a little bit. “Just blink,” she said, snapping her fingers together in between their faces, making them blink. “Sweet Jesus. Alright, James, why does Sam aggravate you?” James turned and smiled. “And don’t say something childish.” He hung his head and thought for a second.

“Why did you give up that shield?”

“Why are you making such a big deal out of something that has nothing to do with you?”

“Steve believed in you. He trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason. That shield, that is… that is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. Alyx can tell you, she’d know. Steve was her dad. He gave you that shield, and you threw it away like it was nothing.”

“Shut up,” Sam replied.

“So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me.” James’ voice trembled at the end. Sam just stared at him.

“You finished,” Sam asked. James replied with a quiet, ‘yeah.’ “All right, good. Maybe this is something you, Alyx, or Steve will never understand. But can you accept that I did what I thought was right? You know what, Doc? I don’t have time for this. We have some real serious shit going on. So, how about this; I will squash it right now. We go deal with that, and, when we’re done, we both can go on separate, long vacations, and never see each other again.”

“I like that,” James responded.

“Great. Well, let’s get to work. Thanks, Doc, for making it weird. I feel much better. I’ll see you two outside.” He finished, standing up and giving James a harsh pat on his shoulder.

“Thank you!” Dr. Raynor said. “That was… really great.” After Sam walked out the door, James got up from his chair and started towards the door before Raynor continued speaking.

“I know that look, what’s wrong?”

“What was rule number two, again?” He asked.

“Don’t hurt anyone.”

“Goodbye, Doc,” he replied, waking out of the room.

Sam and James walked out of the police department together in what started out in silence before Sam made a comment.

“Well, I feel better,” he said.

“I feel awful,” James replied when a siren and its lights went off. Sam and James looked over to see what was happening, and saw John Walker messing with the cop car. They saw Hoskins next to him, and Alyxandria leaning on the car next to John.

“Gentlemen!” Walker cakes out to the guys. They started walking over. “Good to see you again.” No words eeee said to him.

“Look,” he continued, “if we divide ourselves, we don’t stand a chance— you guys know that.”

“So, what do you got?” Sam asked. He stood in front of Walker, and James went over to the end of the hood to lean his arm against.

“Well, the leader’s name is Karli Morgenthau,” Alyxandria started.

“We’ve been targeting civilians who’ve been helping Karli move from place to place,” John said.

“They geotagged a location, then scrambled the signal,” Lemar explained. “But our satellites have found their symbol popping up in various displaced communities all across Central and Eastern Europe.”

“We think that she’s taking the medicine she just stole to one of these camps,” Walker finished off.

“Well, there are hundreds of those all over the planet since The Blip. So, I guess you’ll have to look real hard,” James taunted— at least, that’s how it came off.

“Good thing I have 20/20 vision, huh?” Walker shot back.

“Where is she now, Walker? Do you know?” James asked, raising his voice.

“No, we don’t know, Bucky,” Walker responded, also raising his voice. Alyx looked at him funnily. “But, it’s only a matter of time before we find out.”

“Things are really intense for you, aren’t they, Walker?” Alyxandria got off of the car and moved so she could face everyone.

“Take it easy,” Sam told him. “Look, Walker’s right. It is imperative that we find them and stop them. But you guys have rules of engagement, and all kinds of authorizations you have to get. We’re free agents. We’re more flexible. So it wouldn’t make sense for us to work with you.” Sam and James started walking off and Alyxandria took one last look at John and Lemar before following.

“A word of advice, then,” Walker said, stopping the trip for a second. “Stay the hell out of my way.” The two walked off dramatically. Sam, James, and Alyx were watching them leave, but turned back to go do their own thing.

“Asshole,” James mumbled under his breath.

“So, what are you thinking?” Sam asked James after walking for awhile.

“Well, I know what we gotta do,” he responded. “When Isiah said, “my people”…”

“Oh, don’t take that to heart. That’s not what he meant.”

“No, he meant HYDRA. HYDRA used to be my people,” James explained. Sam scoffed.

“Not a chance,” he said.

“Walker doesn’t have any leads.”

“I know where you’re going with this, no.”

“He knows all of HYDRA’s secrets. Don’t you remember Siberia?”

“So, you’re just gonna go sit in a room with this guy?” Sam asked.

“Yes,” James replied, hesitantly.

“Wait, what’s happening?” Alyxandria asked.

“We’re gonna pay a visit to someone,” Sam said, stopping on the sidewalk.

“Who?”

“We’re gonna go see Zemo.”

———————————————————————-6/25/21

#bucky barnes #tfatws #sam wilson #captain america #sebastian stan #marvel #anthony mackie #john walker #wyatt russell #oc character x marvel #marvel fanfic #tfawts fanfic #tfatws fanfiction #tfatws oc #tfatws x oc #the captain’s kid

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lavenderek · 3 years

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I'm not sure you got the point of my original ask though. Instead of Lindsay Ellis addressing her racism and centering the voices of Asians, she made an hour long video about "cancel culture." She effectively steered the conversation away from how racism affects Asians and centered herself and her platforms as a white woman.

I understand how harassment is bad. However, when you pave over the original problem and center your position of power/influence and how people like to be mean to you on twitter dot com, you're not raising awareness for harassment. What you're doing is you're actively still being racist by minimizing and dismissing the systemic oppression you participated in.

People who fall for this misdirection trap and perpetuate the misdirection trap need to do better about being aware of their own problems with racism. The problem was never about getting cancelled on twitter, it was always about her making racist comments about Asians in the middle of a hate crime epidemic against Asians.

But you have a good night too. 🥴🥴🥴

oh, ok. i'm actually gonna reiterate that all of that was addressed in depth - and i mean in depth. she discussed all of that and addressed like ten of the incidents in her callout thread individually. she talked specifically about each and every one of the things you just said, including steering the conversation away from asian people and positions of influence. she talked about how as a white woman she is not exempt from american white supremacy. she talked about literally all of that in excruciating detail.

i had three reasons that i didn't engage with you, and none of them is that i think "cancel culture" is about targeting poor, innocent racists or even that "harassment is bad."

the first reason is that in this case i simply don't believe what's going on is warranted. it's a bad time to be seen as belittling an asian thing during a time when anti-asian hate crimes are on the rise. i don't think she was belittling that movie or those tropes, and i don't think that counts as being "blatantly racist."

if you feel like comparing that dragon movie with avatar the last airbender is the last straw on a racist camel's back, then that really is, as you said, your prerogative. no hard feelings here - you're obviously not alone in that interpretation. i just don't agree! i think there is and should be a firm distinction between being a dick online and being a bad person online. some people are just irreverent, as a personality.

the second reason i didn't engage is that nothing i said really had much to do with what you said. you saw me saying i agreed with what she said and assumed i was in full support of her. you told me being racist doesn't make her a victim, when i hadn't actually said anything in support of her except "i agree with what she said about cancel culture."

this led me to assume you didn't know what all she said in the video, but that you weren't planning on watching the thing because clearly you were fed up with her. i can't blame anyone for not watching a feature length video where a person sits in front of a camera and talks. what would telling you to watch an hour and a half symposium from somebody you hate do aside from making you angrier? what would arguing the points with you do aside from making me look like an asshole who loves racists? if you wanted to watch the thing, you would.

what i talked about at length was people who cheer when someone gets deplatformed and then spam tags with "jenny nicholson next." i yammered on about that and then went on a tangent about a girl at my high school who got pizza thrown on her car. i talked about this for a total of thirty tags, and you still saw all of that and understood "lindsey ellis is correct and cancel culture is insidious and we must protect the racists," because you were angry at her and feel strongly about it. i talked for the max length of tags allowed and you still thought i was saying something else.

and i don't mean to say you like, jumped down my throat!!! or whatever lmao, you've been very articulate and calm and in a context where i believed that what she said had been racist, i would agree with you vehemently. the issue here is that if i'm talking about what she said in the video, and you're taking about something else, then we aren't having a conversation, you're trying to teach me something and i'm defensively saying i already know. you know what i mean? i'm not going to say what you want me to say because what you want me to say is based on her video being about something it's not.

the third reason i didn't engage is that you're not saying anything i haven't said myself before. you were preaching to the choir.

while you're here, for the sake of clarity, here's what i feel about "cancel culture." is it a problem for people to be held accountable when they say shitty things online? NO. is it a problem for individuals with a very small amount of clout to be held to standards that politicians should be held to? yes.

you say she's got power and influence - i don't think she does. she is a youtuber. she's published a novel, but she's never expanded outside the realm of her niche online. that emma girl with the coffee has entered the world of fashion. james charles is a staple in the beauty industry. lindsey ellis hasn't done anything close to that. she doesn't have meet and greets. she doesn't get invited to louis vuitton shows. she's a film school grad who talks about movie tropes, and movie tropes aren't a bad thing.

making callout threads for racist politicians doesn't do anything, which is demoralizing. making callout threads for youtubers forces them to respond to you. so people deplatform youtubers because they are accessible. they do it because it gets results, and they feel like they've finally addressed something. i get it! i don't think it makes you a nasty person to want to feel like you've done the right thing. i don't think it makes you a bad person to say "that lady said something bad and i know it's bad."

and i don't think it makes you a bad person to feel satisfied when somebody you don't like gets yelled at lmao. that's why i talked about pizza car girl. i don't know that she did anything to earn the pizza, but i didn't like her, she was mean and annoying, so in my eyes, she was deserving of pizza car.

that's what i think about "cancel culture." it's just a crowd response that reaches a point where there is no right answer, so the person ultimately has no choice but to give up. sometimes i agree with what they're saying, and other times i do not. this is one of the times that i do not.

in her video, what lindsey says about "cancel culture" is that "cancel culture" is a loaded term, but there should be a name for this phenomenon. it exists. it's not what right wingers claim it is, but it does exist.

overall, lindsey ellis's online presence isn't actively harming asian people as a community. it's a bad time to be seen as belittling something asian because of anti-asian hate crimes going on right now in response to the pandemic. it's not cute to "clap back." and, she's right about the things she said. asian people aren't a monolith and there wasn't an overwhelming response from asian people saying what she said was bad. all of those things are true simultaneously.

does that make sense? ordinarily i apologize for long responses like this, but it's clear to me that i have to specifically address every angle of a situation to avoid being misinterpreted. that's why her video is so long, in my opinion. this post is almost as long as her video.

if you read all of this and you still disagree with something i said, no hard feelings. and i wasn't being passagg when i said to have a good night. i really do hope you're doing ok.

#haters #who is this even

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harryimaginestuff · 5 years

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Dreams Part 3

So sorry for it being a bit late! Ngl I'm not 100% happy with it but ah well. But here you go, the final part to Dreams !

Word count: 2515

Genre: Angst

You huffed in annoyance, once again fiddling with the strap on your shoulder as you sat in your living room awaiting James’ arrival. You were torn, your mind reeling about the possible intentions of tonight.

Whilst you had never expressed any interest in your co-worker before, you couldn’t help but to let your mind drift to the possibility of spending the night and morning with him. Struggling to find other means of curing your heartache since your current distractions were no longer working, perhaps the comfort of another body would do the trick.

After all, upon Mitch’s revelation, Harry clearly had no qualms about replacing you in his mind.

But still, the thought of doing something so cruel to James sat oddly in your stomach, so the thought of physical human comfort was quickly pushed out of your mind. And perhaps you weren’t quite ready yet to fall into the arms of another with Harry’s scent still fresh in the house, courtesy of the perfume bottle you kept on your bedside at night, and his touch still pulsing through your veins.

You were awoken out of your thoughts suddenly as the buzzer rang, insinuating that James was waiting below and so you whisked yourself out the door repeating to yourself that a night out would be good.

“Hi y/n.” James greeted you with a tight hug as you stepped out of the building to which you returned the gesture. “You look lovely.”

“Thank you, so do you.” You blushed, as you gently pushed him in the direction of the bar.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you all week,”

“I’ve just been super busy, I asked our boss to give me some extra work to keep me…” you drifted off, the both of you knowing exactlywhat for.

“Oh.”

Silence filled the air as the two of you walked side by side until you reached the bar, when suddenly you were interrupted by your phone ringing.

“Whoops sorry, let me just see.” Pulling your phone out of your bag you frowned as Mitch’s name flashed across the screen.

“Do you need to get that?” James asked, concern in voice.

“No, it’s fine, I’m sure it’s nothing.” You replied, although deep down you knew it was nothing, after all it was once in a blue moon that you received a call from Harry’s best friend.

As the two of you consumed drinks, conversation began to flow smoothly despite the rough start. And soon enough the pain in your chest was nothing but a dull ring.

“I’m gonna get the next round.” James laughed, continuing your playful fight on who pays for what.

“But you got the last one.”

“And then you can get the next two.” Your hand slipped over his, a last attempt to stop him from going to the bar with his card causing his gaze to quickly shift to yours as you gripped the back of his hand.

“That’s not fa-”

“Y/N?” you froze unsure if the large amounts of alcohol in your system was causing you to hallucinate. If the voice that you had just heard was really what you thought. If the sight in the corner of your eyes was really what it seemed. If the scent was really the one that mimicked the bottle on your bedside.

And so, by some twist of fate, as you turned slowly, there he was standing before you. So many emotions coursed through your body; anger, sadness, resentment, but most prevalent was love.Yet still, the latter was quickly pushed to the side as your drunken mind recalled Mitch’s words.

Your hand still remained on top of James’, who was sat there in silence looking between the exes whilst he slowly tried to slip his hand out from under yours which only caused you to grip it harder in an irresponsible game of who’s moved on the fastest.

“Harry.” You replied bluntly

“I went to our, your, apartment. You weren’t there.” Harry mumbled, his eyes glaring at the sight in front of him. What the hell is she doing? “So, I came here, I don’t know why though.”

You swallowed thickly, finally letting go of James’ hand as Harry turned his glare to you a sadistic laugh escaping his mouth.

“I didn’t expect to find you. At all really. But especially not like this. It’s nice to see that you’ve wasted no time, huh?” Harry knew he was being irrational, that his accusations were not warranted, especially because the situation you were both in was all of his fault. But he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help but allow the jealousy to take over as his vision went red with anger, so he continued his attacks. “It hasn’t taken you very long to move on then has it.”

He watched as your face went from shock to sadness and then finally to anger.

“No. It hasn’t.” you snarkily replied, reaching over to find James’ hand, only to find that it was no longer there.

Harry huffed aggressively, rolling his eyes, an attempt to roll away the tears that were threatening to fall. “Fuck this.” He whispered, before turning on his heel and storming out.

“Shit,” you mumbled turning to look at the man who was sat opposite you, his eyebrows drawn together as he tried to process the events that had just taken place in front of him.

“Well that was awkward.” He spoke after a minute of silence.

“I’m so sorry,” you replied absentmindedly, as your head spun as well. “Anyways, where were we?”

James sighed leaning forward ever so slightly so he could look you in the eyes, “Look, I know that you know how I feel about you; I mean it’s not as if I’ve been subtle at all. So saying this takes a lot of willpower.” He spoke, his eyes gentle and sympathetic. “Leave.”

“James…” you trailed off, somewhat hurt by his abrupt demand.

“I think you should go.” His harsh words were spoken with such gentility that you knew he meant no harm. “It’s clear that you’re still in love with him, which I get, you’ve only been apart for two weeks, and I just want to let you know that me inviting you out tonight was not me making a move. I think you’re a great person and a great friend.”

“And now that we’ve cleared that up, I think you and Harry have some cleaning up to do as well.”

You found yourself 20 minutes later outside of Mitch’s apartment, hands shaking as you approached the door. However, before you could knock, the door swung open, revealing a very distraught Mitch who speedily ushered you in.

“Fucking finally, I’ve been calling and calling you for ages.” He said, his voice wavering. “He’s gone absolutely mental, he came back from wherever he went and couldn’t stop crying and shouting at the same time. My ears can’t take it anymore.”

“Sorry, I realise now I shouldn’t have pulled that shit on him at the bar.” You spoke, your heart breaking slightly as you could hear the violent sounds coming from the guest room.

“Hey,” Mitch raised his arms in defence, “I have no idea what went down over the last hour, but all I know is that he needs to see you right now because you guys have some talking to do. Now get your ass in that room.”

You breathed slowly as you approached the room, unsure of what you would find behind the door.

“Harry?” you spoke softly as to not contribute to his emotions as you peeked your head around the frame.

His actions stilled, his fists raised in the air, stopping himself from destructing the lamp shade that was in his grip. “Y/n.”

“What are you doing?”

“Ruining things, what does it look like. This shit wouldn’t be the first thing that I’ve single-handedly destroyed.” His eyes were remained on the bed in front of him, the sheets tussled, and pillows spread across the room.

“Look at me please.” You willed to the broken man to face you, just to give you one look so that you would know that his mind was present and no longer far away.

“No.” his voice was stern and his body rigid. “I don’t want to see you right now.”

“Why not Harry?” you were desperate to find an inkling of the man you cared about.

“Because look what you do to me.” He growled, his glare finding yours, only you wish they hadn’t, as the look in his eyes was one of pure anger and rage. “I’m completely miserable, and it’s because of you.” The words he just spoke completely contradicted the ones that had only come out seconds ago.

“And why is that? Why is it because of me?” You spoke, doing your best to remain calm as to not fuel the fire that was burning from deep within him.

“Go away.” He simply mumbled, turning his back to you once again, it seemed that over the past two weeks all you were seeing of him was his back.

“I’m not leaving until you talk.”

“I said get the fuck out!” he screamed, his tone causing you to jump back a little, but rather than listening to you, you only stepped closer until you were stood right behind him. The feeling of the heat that radiated from his body did so much to comfort you, despite the current situation that you were in.

“And I said no!” you said back aggressively and yet wrapped your arms around him from behind.

“Get the hell off me.”

“No.”

“y/n, I swear to god, get off me.”

“No, not until you tell me why you’re miserable. I want to hear you say it.”

You felt Harry’s hands wrap around your wrists causing your heart to rise in hope, only for it to be shot down again as he pried your body off of his and stomped to the other side of the room.

“Because, I’m miserable and you’re going out on dates.” His angry demeanour dropped immediately replaces with complete sorrow. “Because you’ve moved on already and it’s only been two weeks. Because you’ve completely forgotten about me already and it’s like I never even existed in the first place.”

The image of his tears almost brought you to your knees, almost got you to open your arms wide and invite him back into your life.

But no.

Now it was your turn to be angry.

“You’ve been miserable? You as in the person who ended us in the first place. You who refused to talk to me about anything?”

“You didn’t even fight back! You let me leave!”

You wanted to scream as loud as you could at his stupidity as even now he still hadn’t learnt the full repercussion of his actions.

“As if you even gave me a choice. You know for a fact that nothing that I could have said would have changed your mind.” Tears began to run down your face as your chest split open again. “You broke off our engagement, you broke me, but most importantly you broke us.”

Harry’s mouth opened to answer back, but you quickly shut him up.

“I’m not finished! You think I haven’t been miserable?” you were no longer screaming at him, your voice was weak, despite the extreme effort you put into sounding as strong as you could. “Because I have been, these past two weeks have been the absolute worst. I can’t stop fucking crying ever. Everything I look at, I see you and what we had. But then to go through all the shit that you put me through and find out that you kissed someone else a week later, whilst I was busy trying to pick up the pieces that you left behind.” You were completely sobbing now, the only thing holding you together were your hands that were wrapped around your waist.

“I didn’t think you would find out.” Harry spoke, perhaps the worst thing that could have come out of his mouth at the moment.

“And so what? That makes everything okay?” Disbelief clear in your voice.

“No. That not what I meant. That didn’t come out right at all.” Tears were streaming down the both of your faces, and the guilt that Harry had felt only intensified now as he watched the consequences come to life in the form of you in front of him.

“Does she kiss you like I kissed you?” you glared at him.

“Please, y/n.”

“Does she Harry?” He walked hesitantly to you, scared the one wrong move would cause you to run, wrapping his arms around you, you did your best to fight him off, pushing and shoving at his chest in an attempt to let you go, his grip never loosened though, but your fight did as you completely collapsed into his arms, crying into his shirt.

“I’m so sorry.” He spoke, his voice cracking as the substance from your eyes burnt his soul. “I’m so sorry for everything that I did to you. For not talking to you when I know that I should have. For ending the best thing that had happened to me. For not placing the needs of the both of us over my own selfish ones. For kissing that girl, for everything. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” You whispered against him.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

“No, I do. I’m sorry for that stunt that I pulled at the bar, I shouldn’t have done that to you, that was incredibly childish of me. And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you were being forced into something that you didn’t want to be in.”

Harry’s hands gripped your face, forcing you to look into his eyes. “Don’t you ever thing that you forced me into something that I didn’t want, because it’s the complete opposite. All I’ve ever wanted in my life was you. I was just too stupid to see it. You are my life.”

“How can I trust what you say? How do I know that you won’t back out of this again?”

“You don’t know. But I’m telling you now, that I will never ever leave you ever again. Til death do us part.”

“Then if we’re going to do this, we’re going to do this slowly. I’m still so mad and upset with you.”

“I know, and I’ll wait for however long it will take for you to forgive me completely.”

Silence surrounded you as you breathed in the scent of his shirt, gripping onto him in fear that he may somehow disappear again.

“Will we be okay?” he asked softly, bringing his lips to your head.

“I think so.” You whispered back.

That was the first night in weeks where you no longer had to dry your tears because Harry was laying there wrapped in your body. The future may have been unclear, but Harry knew now that he would only be dreaming dreams of a life with you.

I hope you guys enjoyed the final part!

Send me your suggestions since I have no idea what to write next.

Lots of love xxx

tags

@ivegotparticulartaste

#harry styles #harry #styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles angst

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Ava & James

Ava: I've told all my family James: oh Ava: Maybe don't oh that hard Ava: thinking you've changed your mind and that's going to be very difficult to do a 180 on tbh James: I'm actually thinking about Bella's dad's reaction Ava: As far as I'm aware, my dad doesn't have a shotgun Ava: or an excellent moustache Ava: definitely not James: Mine does, on both counts, but the mentality simply isn't there James: war of words is as far as things have so far escalated Ava: That's a good visual Ava: what about your mum? James: she's very busy lining up every single woman she's aware of between the ages of 20 to 30 within a mile radius or so Ava: Very Mr Darcy Ava: I'll gatecrash James: I look forward to the dramatic dance scene during which we only touch palms & exchange looks Ava: I bet Lizzie Bennet didn't 😳 Ava: shame my sister isn't around to push over so your parents are forced to take us in whilst she languishes James: 😂 James: I'll happily push my sister over or let her fall through an iced over pond to further our romantic narrative Ava: 💘 Ava: I know it's less about me but I can swoon nonetheless James: if you're 😳 then you'll have my full attention regardless Ava: Promise? James: yes Ava: even if the single ladies have really good period costumes? James: well, I hadn't considered that Ava: 😏 Ava: rude James: before I decide, what are you going to be wearing when you gatecrash? Ava: Obviously something unexpectedly knockout Ava: am the protagonist, need I remind you James: okay, what I'm hearing is anything you already own or could pick out from anywhere given a few moments Ava: You're adorable Ava: how did it go really then? James: does that mean I'll get to see you before there's a seasons changing montage? because I really want to Ava: Providing you don't need to exile yourself, of course James: I'm sure there's now several people in both our lives who would like me to, but I won't Ava: They were as receptive as I expected but I've made it clear I won't be stopping seeing you, hopefully put to bed the concerns I can James: in my case, the only concern is outward appearances so there's very little I can do even if I particularly cared to James: & Teddy isn't concerned so much as shocked & appalled Ava: Of course Ava: at least I'm an addendum re. the main issue of the whole divorce, in that case? Ava: yeah, do you think I should make a point of talking to him or give him space? James: will you? as far as he's concerned I haven't made a good decision within his living memory, but you two are friends, or were Ava: I'll try, definitely Ava: if I can make him see it's as much my decision as yours, it might help, in the end Ava: and I can handle another person having their say James: thank you James: I meant what I said, I'm more than willing to discuss this with your parents, at any point James: I can handle that Ava: Thank you Ava: I think it might help Ava: but I also think I'm gonna give them a cool-off period or it won't be at all helpful and that won't be at all your fault James: understood James: I'm currently having to employ a similar situation with Jay's playdates because her friend's mothers cannot possibly keep their nose out of my business or their mouths shut about where hers is and every other single detail they believe to be fact Ava: Oh lord Ava: I wouldn't have envied you having to socialize by-proxy with the self-professed yummy mummies before but now Ava: I can only imagine Ava: Poor Jay Ava: I can't offer a human child for playdates but Frank is always down Ava: and my lips are, naturally, sealed James: I was hoping to take them away for a few days but it's as though my dad has decided that in lieu of my failings in other areas I need to suddenly become the hardest worker in the history of this company Ava: Of course Ava: Hmm James: because obviously what my children require most in their mother's absence is to also see me less Ava: Well, yeah, that's not potentially traumatizing Ava: thank God for School being right 'round the corner Ava: and Matty still being portable James: I've been bringing them both to the office & the bulging vein in his temple is honestly such a strong contender for the book cover Ava: 😏 That's how you do it Ava: risk his health and wellbeing so you get the time off for yours James: King's didn't teach me everything I know, I've got a few tricks Ava: When are you giving me that tour? James: When can I see you? Ava: When is your dad not working you to death? Ava: I can make it work James: [A pause while he figures that out] James: he's out of the office all day on [a date in the foreseeable to make this office hookup a thing] Ava: No offense but if your brother shows up again you need to send him on a really long coffee run James: as you said, school is right around the corner, meaning my parents priorities have shifted back to making sure he'll go Ava: In that case Ava: 😈 James: 😇 for saying yes Ava: I have ulterior motives, I promise you James: oh really? Ava: really Ava: it's very unfair I've yet to see you in your work clothes James: [sends her a pic because nobody can stop him] Ava: um hello 😍 Ava: you're really going to be away from me looking so good Ava: unfair James: I'm sorry James: I really, really am Ava: Me too Ava: I've not seen you enough to warrant how badly I want to right now James: [a casual essay about how much he misses her and wants her and everything he wishes they could do, in a saucy way but also just in cute ways like] Ava: James James: Ava Ava: I really love you, you know James: I love you too James: what I most wish is that we could go away for a while Ava: That would be Ava: so good Ava: maybe we could in like the Christmas hols, when everything has calmed down Ava: hopefully James: it would be indescribable Ava: I have no doubt you would do your best Ava: and it'd be impressive James: the subject matter lends itself to nothing but my best Ava: I'm honoured🙇 James: so am I, especially by that visual Ava: Gutted I'm out rn and can't immediately fulfill that wish for a visual like you did Ava: when I get back though James: [sends her an even better visual] James: until then, there you are Ava: oh, well, you aren't distracting at all 😖 Ava: definitely gonna get you back when you're so hard at work James: 😈 James: I so badly hope you do Ava: I intend to Ava: every day of the week Ava: but especially when I get to come see you James: you know, the things I intend to do to you on this desk drastically shifts the audience we're going to be able to pitch this book to Ava: You'll have to restrain your imagination in the write-up so the audience can use theirs to fill in the blanks Ava: because there's no way we're leaving your office 'til we've done everything you've thought of James: finally some overtime I'm not upset about Ava: It's all about balance, right? 😇 James: & I'm aware that you've got very good balance Ava: Will that help me be the best good luck charm on your best I can be? 🤔 Ava: intriguing 😋 James: absolutely, but if you need any more help, I'll help you Ava: You're very helpful, baby James: I try to be Ava: I've never met anyone like you James: I don't think I'll ever meet anyone else that comes close to you either James: I certainly haven't before Ava: Good Ava: I don't need to think about competiting so soon James: you don't need to think about it, full stop Ava: not 'til the dance, anyway James: even then, I'll only have eyes for you, that's the cliche Ava: Of course Ava: doesn't mean I'm not gonna do everything within my power to ensure it's worth your 👀s while James: I don't want to dance with anyone else, Ava James: I don't want to do any of this with anyone else Ava: I know Ava: you know I feel the same too James: you know I couldn't have done this without you though Ava: You did it all though, all the hard conversations and hard decisions James: a lot of those decisions were made for me, so there's limited credit due, & a lack of conversation with her just cements that Ava: Yeah but the ball is in her court on that one Ava: you're if not ready at least willing whenever she is James: of course, because that's not a decision, to not act, not any more Ava: yeah, and that's going to be a good thing Ava: even if it is not good all the time James: I'll be interested to see if she gets in contact before school starts because that's unlikely to be a good thing Ava: Yes, I wonder if this is just a summer holiday or Ava: makes you wonder what she's even doing that could keep her so 'busy' James: whoever cleans the pool, probably, not that she'd ever admit to such a cliche Ava: 😬 Ava: definitely not getting paid enough James: 😂 Ava: I'm just glad that right now you don't have to deal with her on the day to day, even if it's only a momentary reprieve, it'll never be that bad again James: me too, I can't & won't pretend that I didn't know how bad it had become but actually getting a break from it makes me wonder how either of us dealt with that for as long as we have Ava: I bet Ava: she must've been as sick of it, even though she was the one not letting go and doing the fucked up shit, that has to be exhausting to live like that Ava: full level hell beast all the time, like 😈 Ava: sorry, I'm not fully sure where the line is re. her Ava: but I've been hearing great things from Nancy and Buster today so, that's in my head James: it's okay, you're not wrong James: & neither are they Ava: Okay Ava: if it's ever weird or like, not up for discussion though, just say the word Ava: or several, as you're especially loquacious James: there's a fantastic word Ava: as far as safewords go Ava: I can think of a few situations where it might be hard to get out but isn't that half the fun James: I'll make a note of it, because yes, that's definitely a large percentage of the thrill Ava: I wish you were here Ava: I only am to get away from my parents for a bit James: where are you? Ava: My friend's house Ava: Her sister is called Stasia, think she was your year-ish? James: I remember her, whether she would me, favourably or otherwise, I can't possibly comment James: I'll take you home when you want to go Ava: Really? Ava: well, I'll go at whatever time means I get some extra with you James: okay, I'll take that as my cue to leave now, not only because any reason to get out of here is welcomed though Ava: Please do Ava: talking about you so much has only made my need to be with you even greater James: I can absolutely relate & admit to having had the same urge all day Ava: Oh good Ava: we're on the same page James: that said, a necessary note in the margin would be that in actual fact I've felt that way much longer, because whatever I'm talking about, I'm thinking about you Ava: Sometimes I think I think about you too much Ava: but then I remember I'm the protagonist in this romance so it's not just acceptable but necessary James: you can do whatever you like, darling, it's your story Ava: In that case Ava: read on James: voraciously Ava: 🤤🤤 James James: I'm just making sure we're still on the same page Ava: You're gonna have trouble keeping me on the page Ava: and making me go home James: & the driver's eyes on the road, we may need more than the Twilight soundtrack on this occasion Ava: Pride & Prejudice 2005? Ava: gotcha, honey James: 😂 James: yes, exactly Ava: 😊 Ava: I love you so much James: I miss you so much James: if I could take you home with me, I very happily would Ava: I know Ava: one day James: after the move to the other side of the river, because we both know there is a line Ava: It's pretty exciting, isn't it? James: I'm glad to hear you think so because I was going to ask you if you'd like to come house hunting with me Ava: I'd love to! James: [a possible date soonish] ? Ava: That should be good for me Ava: I'll let you know if otherwise Ava: it'll be nice to look at some actual decent places, let's face it, I doubt my student digs will be all that inspiring, like 😏 James: barely room for whatever hazing pranks they have in store, I'm sure Ava: I'm still not convinced that particular visual doesn't just come from a certain type of movie, babe James: you'll have to let me know 😏 Ava: I'll make it good for you James: my faith in you remains unwavering Ava: 🙇 James: have you reconsidered your stance on spoilers? Ava: That does depend James: oh? Ava: have you dumped fake girl? James: she was very slow to accept her fate, but yes Ava: I can't blame her Ava: I wouldn't wanna lose you either Ava: [picture, assumedly in her friend's room or somewhere not just in front of them like oh hey] James: Ava Ava: Make traffic move faster please James: I'll do the quickest rewrite possible & see you at your friend's door Ava: I'll be waiting so patiently James: & I'll be waiting impatiently James: 😇 & 😈 Ava: I think you deserve to be 😈 right now Ava: been a long day, yeah? James: yes, though it feels longer now, stretching out with the queued traffic Ava: 🥺 Ava: we'll just have to see it as motivation to not waste a single second James: it's a promise, in or out of traffic Ava: I'm so lucky James: if you think you are, then I need a better word to describe my own fortune right now Ava: I'm just really happy Ava: in spite of anything else, everything else, right now James: good, me too Ava: 🥰 Ava: you deserve that even more James: you deserve more than I can possibly give you, however patiently you wait Ava: nuuh James: yes you do Ava: 😣 Ava: no Ava: and I want you James: I want you, I'm well aware that it doesn't mean I deserve to have you Ava: How could you possibly not James: because James: the reasons I lack words to describe you aren't even close to the reasons I lack them to describe myself Ava: but I can't describe you either Ava: not just because I'm no writer James: but you do, all the time, in both words & actions I can vividly see myself the way you think of me Ava: I'm glad Ava: keep looking, okay Ava: we'll work on the believing bit James: okay James: if you'd like to get in the car, we can start immediately

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karl-jenkins · 5 years

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HPCC London Cast 4 First Impressions

I saw London cast 4 for the first time on Sunday (26th May 2019) and wanted to put down some thoughts I had while watching. These are just my interpretations and what I took from their performance. Overall, I had such a great time watching them, I have very high hopes for this cast and I can’t wait to see them again and see what else I learn about their interpretations of their characters. While five of the main seven were the same, most of the ensemble had changed which gave the show an entire new feel and along with the changes made, it felt like watching the show for the first time all over again. I only really noted things that had changed and about the new cast members so there’s not much about the remaining cast members even though there were some little tweaks.

Dominic Short as Albus Potter

Dominic’s Albus came across very anxious and insecure, very unsure of himself. He was absolutely exasperated with James. When he got onto the train he very much relied on Rose to lead the way, he had no idea how to approach this new situation and was perfectly happy to follow her lead. The moment that he decided to stay in Scorpius’ carriage was the first time that he was sure of himself, confident in his decision.

He is expressive and excitable when he’s around Scorpius. He uses a lot of hand gestures. He thrives when he’s got a plan. He gets so excited! On the train, he has such a thirst to prove himself and it gave me big Slytherin vibes. After the argument in the library, when detailing his lake task idea, after he said “sparkly surprise” he acted out exploding fireworks. In Godric’s Hollow, you see the pieces fall into place as he watches Lily leave and he is so excited when Scorpius finally understands him. In the Slytherin dormitory, he is so interested to hear everything that happened with Rose. It was just a really nice friendship, that felt very much like two real teenage boys.

He is mostly just anxious and uncomfortable around Harry, not really knowing how to speak to him. It is the scene before the third year Hogwarts when his anger first comes out. When he says he knows he’ll hate Hogsmeade because it will be full of Hogwarts students, he delivers this angrily, glaring at the permission form and crumpling it in his fist as if it’s one of the students he hates so much. The anger reappears in the blanket scene. It starts off with him sat uncomfortably, leaning away from Harry. Not outright aggressive yet but wanting to be pretty much anywhere else. Even before he holds the blanket, he is done with the conversation. During the argument, once his anger comes out, he picks up the blanket and Jamie reaches out wanting to take it back, clearly afraid that he’s going to do something to it in anger.

His friendship with Scorpius is really lovely and has the potential to become more. The hugs that he initiates are very tight squeezes, Albus really just needs his friend in those moments. In their final staircase scene, when Scorpius hugs him, the “What’s this?” is really pleasantly surprised. When Scorpius said about the new version of them he had in his head, they stand, eyes locked and go to hug again but it becomes awkward so Albus blurts out about asking Rose and the moment passes.

Staircase ballet was also extremely heartbreaking. Dom does this thing when Albus is preparing to respond – he sort of fidgets on the spot as if he wants to step forward and opens his mouth as if to say something – and he did a version of this on the stairs too. When they met at the top of the staircase, he was so anxious and unsure about what to do, he just completely froze. When they were on the separate staircases facing each other at the end, Albus was staring into Scorpius’ eyes so sadly. As the stairs stared to roll off, he stepped down onto the next stair and looked like he wanted to say something. There was such desperation and sadness in him in that moment.

He has a lot of feelings that he doesn’t quite know what to do with. He’s so insecure and used to teasing that when he is complimented, he doesn’t know how to react. He ends up panicking and making jokes as his defence mechanism. Examples of this were:

- When Scorpius says he’d choose him as a companion for the return of eternal darkness, Albus just does not know how to react to that properly. He panics and blurts out the “no offence” line because he can’t bring himself to think about it more deeply and believe it to be true.

- When Harry tells him he’s becoming quite some wizard, it’s kind of a huge moment. This is a genuine compliment from his dad, something he’s wanted for a long time and he just doesn’t know how to react now it’s finally happened so turns to joking about pigeon racing.

There was a lot of other things I took from his graveyard scene. When Harry says his childhood was a constant struggle and Albus replies “so was mine”, it’s a joke. The first time he is jokey around Harry. Humour had been so natural with Scorpius but never with Harry until that moment. He’s still not as open or as comfortable as he is with his mum or Scorpius but he’s much more receptive. He’s actually really happy at the possibility that Harry thinks that he’s like him, that maybe he does live up to his expectations after all.

The way he talks about his Slytherin side is a nice moment, he’s finally opening up to Harry about something, letting himself be vulnerable around him. You can tell by the way he said it that ever since he was sorted into Slytherin, he has been fixated on the idea that the Sorting Hat must have seen something ‘bad’ in him. He’s spent all this time examining himself, putting himself down, looking for the things about him that’s bad enough to warrant him being in Slytherin and convinced that Harry is disappointed that he is.

The embrace at the end was very sweet, for me it embodied the stage direction of the two of them ‘melting together’.

I was a big fan of Joe’s emotionally closed off Albus, he reminded me of a younger me. Dom’s Albus reminded me of me now. I am loving seeing these interpretations of Albus that are teaching me about myself as I learn about them. I really enjoyed getting to meet Dom’s Albus and took so much from his performance even after seeing it only once. I’m so excited to see him again and see what else he can teach me over the coming year.

Jonathan Case as Scorpius Malfoy

He changed up the Slytherin dormitory scene. He would previously lie at the end of Albus’ bed and pop up shouting his name. This time he crouched right near Albus’ head the whole time and shouted there. I really liked that change. He was very excitable about being back with Albus, he even did a little dance to celebrate being Scorpius the Dreadless.

Michelle Gayle as Hermione Granger

I really liked her with Tom – Ron and Hermione didn’t even need to speak a lot of the time, they communicated through expressions and gestures. The marriage renewal scene was lovely. She went all giggly and girlish while usually she was very calm and collected.

Her polyjuiced Delphi was spot on – she mimicked Madeleine’s body language and gestures perfectly. While she was watching Albus and Scorpius transform, she had the biggest excited grin on her face. Inside Hermione’s office, she sat down at the desk, every bit Madeleine’s sweet, goofy Delphi pretending to be the minister. Even her walk changed – she swaggered around and looked like Delphi was having the time of her life.

I really enjoyed her Act 2 AU Hermione – the DADA teacher. It was almost like she was one of the kids, bullying Albus along with them. Whenever she joked at his expense, the rest of the class were laughing and exchanging gleeful looks. It was just another way to make Albus feel truly alone in this world. He can’t speak to Harry, he’s being kept away from Scorpius and his Uncle and Aunt that he might otherwise have gone to are unrecognisable.

She stays angry for most of the class, her voice doesn’t crack. It’s only when she jinxes them all out of their seats that she suddenly looks so much younger, vulnerable and sad. She walks off just shaking her head. During the staircase scene, when Ron says he doesn’t mean ‘mine, as in…’ she snaps “I know” quite harshly, cutting him off to stop him from hurting her any further.

In the dark AU, Granger is very slow to trust. It takes a long time for her to lower her wand from Scorpius. It was her that indicated to Ron that his wand was the wrong way, rather than Scorpius. When she finds out she’s Minister for Magic in another world she is surprised but when Ron indignantly says, “She’s Minister for Magic?!” she shrugs as if to say “yes, of course I am”.

One of the things I really enjoyed about her Hermione was that she is absolutely in her element when she’s forming a plan. This is applies to the time turning plan in the dark AU and the plan to use St. Jerome’s in Godric’s Hollow. When she’s planning, she gets a spring in her step and smiles a lot more, you can tell that she loves having a strategy, something to work on and get her teeth into.

Rayxia Ojo as Rose Granger-Weasley

Rayxia’s Rose is a boss. 11 years old and already so sure of who she is, a natural leader. She has a bossy, confident walk and is fondly exasperated by Ron, quite similarly to how Hermione reacts to him. There was slight aggression in her tone when she said “That’s putting it mildly. Your mum and dad are Death Eaters”, I definitely got the impression that she’s heard a lot about Draco Malfoy from her family. Rose is so done when Albus doesn’t know the rumour about Scorpius being the child of Voldemort, has he been living under a rock? She blurted out the Voldemort rumour then had a moment of realisation that that was probably insensitive and span round to try to explain herself. During the next Hogwarts Express scene, she is so excited about the time turner. Proper nerdish excitement, you can definitely tell she’s Hermione’s daughter. She actually seemed quite hurt when Scorpius asked her what did she smell of. After she leaves and goes to sit with James, you see they have a much more natural relationship. They hit each other playfully and tease each other and it’s nice to see. When they are eavesdropping on the staircase when Albus and Scorpius are in McGonagall’s office, she looked so excited to hear the gossip, she thinks the whole thing is quite funny. Until she hears her name, realises they’re talking about a timeline in which she didn’t exist. After that she seems very conflicted and confused. It must be such a shocking thing to hear. I was glad that James and Karl were there to be supportive! James put his hand on her shoulder and Karl turned to put his on her knee. Her Scorpion King line was flirty but then she immediately broke into laughter because she couldn’t even pretend to keep up that act.

Emma-May Uden as Polly Chapman

I loved her. She was the ultimate mean girl; her resting bitch face was on point. Her delivery was so sassy. I especially loved her dark AU scene. She was girlish and flirty while talking about torture and killing. In general, she gave me proper Queen Bee vibes; Polly, Yann, Karl and Craig really did seem like a real group of friends with Polly as their natural leader, but she also spent a lot of time pursuing Yann. Just before the Scorbus staircase scene, Yann and Polly cross the stage and Emma-May and Luke did this hand in hand, Yann had clearly stopped playing hard to get at this point. Also, while I sort of missed the blonde bob, her new wig is gorgeous. Emma-May is every bit the notorious beauty.

Ronnie Lee as Craig Bowker Jr

In the Act 3 dormitory scene, his Craig was confident and in charge. He knew the rules and he was going to enforce them. This boy knows what he’s about. When Professor McGonagall says “Craig, we’ve work to do” he tightened his dressing gown belt with such resolve, ready for action. His death was quite dramatic, he flinched with the force of the spell hitting him which made me flinch too! Then again, being in the restricted view seats, I am quite used to not being able to see his death.

Kathryn Meisle

She did a lot with Petunia that I absolutely loved. In the lighthouse dream, when Hagrid mentioned Hogwarts, she moaned. As the scene continued, she was poised to cover Dudley’s ears. She was so conflicted about Dudley hearing about Hogwarts, it clearly brought back a lot of memories for her. Her Petunia was very emotional whenever she remembered Lily, something I really appreciated when I saw Kate Russell-Smith as Petunia, but it felt like Kathryn took it even further. During the under the stairs dream sequence, when she said that Lily didn’t even have time to scream, her voice cracked. During the Godric’s Hollow graveyard scene, she first looked at the grave when Harry asked why there were so many flowers. She let out a little shocked “oh” and sounded so heartbroken to be seeing her sister’s grave, covered in flowers from so many people. At the end of the day, Lily was her sister and I felt she showed so much sadness and regret and that is something that I love to see in a Petunia.

I also really enjoyed her Umbridge – whenever I reread Order of the Phoenix I end up doing impressions of her saying “hem hem” to draw attention and she did that perfectly! She definitely looked the part of Umbridge. She was brilliant at that false sweetness while really, she is dripping with threat and danger at every moment. When she said Scorpius had been checked for hexes and curses, she looked Scorpius up and down very deliberately. It was very tense, like you were on edge waiting to see what she was going to do. After the dementors take Ron and Hermione and Umbridge finds Snape and Scorpius in the grounds her “hem hem” was so sudden that she actually made me jump.

I reach Scorpius levels of geekiness when Bathilda appears, so I was very excited to see Kathryn do this, even though it’s just one tiny moment. Kathryn as Bathilda was unreasonably cute. She did a sort of whoop of excitement and trotted off stage and it was extremely sweet.

Blythe Duff

Really liked her Trolley Witch, she did a cute little waddle through the train. On top of the train, I loved the way she made use of the spikes. She did a lot of hand gestures and advanced closer to Scorpius and Albus than I’ve seen any Trolley Witch do before. After they jumped from the train, her screams of anger were so extra. She screamed “No! Nooo! Noooooo!” and kept one hand free and grabbing the air the entire time the train was rolling off stage.

I’ve been trying really hard to work out how to explain how I felt about Blythe’s McGonagall. To me, she just encapsulated the spirit of McGonagall. She was sensitive and kind but stern and full of authority. It really did feel like Professor McGonagall had stepped off the pages of the books and straight onto the stage. Her sadness when Harry threw it back in her face about not having children made me want to fight Harry. In the library scene, she is very pleased to have found that little loophole about not being able to see them. This way she doesn’t have to separate two friends, but Harry also can’t blame her, such a result. One cute little moment was that when Ron enters from the kitchens with his napkin, he doesn’t pull it off. As the scene ends, McGonagall is the one to rip it off in exasperation.

Lucy Mangan as Moaning Myrtle

April had left big shoes to fill and Lucy was completely different. She only had to say her first line and I was saying “I love her!” Her Myrtle was very flirty and excited to have boys in her bathroom. She gets quite aggressive when Scorpius called her Moaning Myrtle, she is clearly very fed up of that nickname. She was dramatic to a level that I can only aspire to. Her look at Albus on the “and boys” was very pointed. When she was talking about the weeping after Cedric was taken, she did two separate wails while the taps ran. Then Albus tried to continue speaking and she held out her hand to stop him before doing a third wail.

The way she placed her leg in front of Scorpius was very funny, she got right up in his face. When she went back down into the pipe she giggled and did an excited little wiggle. She was really enjoying getting so many visitors that day. She said “Hello Harry” in a flirtatious, husky voice. Each time she tries to flirt with Harry and fails, she would sigh in annoyance.

From the restricted view seat that I was in, I couldn’t really see her during Lily’s appearances so will have to keep an eye out for those bits next time I see the show.

Madeleine Walker as Delphi

Madeleine’s Delphi is sweet and awkward. She popped round the stairs saying “helloooo!” and she wins you over straight away. She is so enthusiastic and excitable about everything. When she leaves Albus to go back to Amos, she curtseys to Albus. During the blanket argument when Albus says “Shall I bow now, or will a curtsey do?” I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d inspired that.

She’s super sweet and endearing and makes awkward noises that reminded me of Jon’s Scorpius. I’ve said before that if I were to play Delphi, I would try to take on some of the characteristics of Scorpius to win Albus’ trust. I felt like this might have been something that Madeleine was trying to portray too as many of her little gestures and excited or awkward noises really did remind me of Scorpius. I need to remember to ask her at stage door if I see her again whether this was what she was going for – just someone that Albus would trust in general or whether she was mimicking Scorpius specifically. I will also be interested if she changes it up when there’s a cover Scorpius on.

During the expelliarmus scene, she is so goofy and enthusiastic. She only has eyes for Albus, she doesn’t even look at Scorpius, even when she throws his robes at him. Her reaction being told she couldn’t come it incredulous, the way she says “What?” is quite sad. She insists “he’s MY cousin” pleading not to be left out.

When she finds Scorpius on the staircase she is so excited by Hogwarts, she has such an enthusiasm about everything which is infectious.

When she arrives in the owlery, she still seems so sweet, she’s so understanding about destroying the time turner. When Scorpius tries to interrupt her monologue about Euphemia’s augurey, she thrusts out a hand to shut him up and let her continue, once more her eyes on Albus alone. Scorpius is nothing to her but a tool to manipulate Albus. When Scorpius continues to question her motives, she turns towards Albus and acts like Scorpius is mad, indicating to him as if to say, “what’s with him?”

On the Quidditch Pitch, she’s quite physical, but only really with Scorpius. He’s expendable but she needs Albus. She’s great at the manic laughter, she sounds like a fanatic. She got right up close to Scorpius and even kissed him which honestly was such an intense moment, you kind of felt violated along with him. She was really enjoying herself as she ran at Scorpius, liking to watch him so scared of her and how worried that makes Albus; it makes him all the more likely to do her bidding.

In St. Jerome’s she sounds like she doesn’t want to admit that Voldemort is going to lose the Battle of Hogwarts, she hesitates before finishing the sentence. Is this through slight fear of his reaction or because it pains her to admit her father doesn’t always win? She has great facial expressions throughout the battle – we were only 8 rows back but could clearly see the whites of her eyes and she looked quite unhinged. They’ve added an echoey effect for her voice and she now moves around the stage more. This means that she has to be hooked back up before she flies back up which does draw more attention to her wires, though this might become smoother as they get more used to it.

When Harry can’t kill her, she laughs, finding it funny that he can’t even do that. But she is genuinely desperate when she begs him to take her memory. She would genuinely rather lose her mind that have to live without her father. As she is levitated upwards for Voldemort’s arrival she keeps mouthing “father” and looks as if she is fighting to free herself. She is extremely compelling, and I really enjoyed watching her. I can’t wait to see what else she does with Delphi over the coming year.

I also noted a few of the changes and new dynamics that a new cast has brought. One change is wand dance, though it hasn’t changed as much as I expected. The choreography started the same but sort of broke off and there was more focus on crowding around or teasing Albus. At the end, they all step forward to the front of the stage and cast their spells simultaneously. I really liked the changes and felt that they really highlighted Albus’ feelings of inadequacy and isolation from his peers but kept a lot of the fun choreography. Dom’s robes were flying all over the place.

St Oswald’s was definitely the biggest change. It will for sure take me another few watches to work out exactly what was going on! Didn’t quite know where to look because everything about it had changed. I think it may have changed to be the same as Broadway, but I don’t know for sure as I’ve never seen that production. It involves a biscuit palace, a teacup on fire and Karl on work experience.

Other little changes included: Lily’s line changing to comment on the Granger-Weasley’s always being late, switches between the Yann and Karl tracks (which I think may be to match Broadway?), after the green smoke explodes from the potion, the class all lean forwards and cover their heads with their robes instead of leaning backwards in slow motion, during the under stairs dream sequence, all three of the Voldemort hands reappear at once at the end and young Harry has new trousers which look like he’s wet himself. This seemed slightly unnecessary to me, as did the new ‘wet-look’ wigs for the lake which just made it look like Scorpius’ wig in particular had gone a bit wrong.

One of my favourite scenes to watch is always the first task scene because it’s a chance to watch the entire ensemble interacting with each other and it’s always full of fun little touches and dynamics. This is a scene that can differ a lot each time, so it’s definitely a fun scene for the regulars. In cast 3, it was the Slytherin boy swing track that would fight his way through the crowd to reach Craig Bowker Sr but this year, they’ve switched. So, it was Ronnie crawling his way through the crowd. He burst out triumphantly between the Hufflepuffs first and they shoved him back into the crowd and he finally found his way over to the Slytherin boy. They fist bumped and then through the whole scene were basically all over each other which was funny to watch. Lola in the Hufflepuff girl swing track started tearing up and fanning her face when Cedric was announced, and I loved that because honestly, same. I’m a big Cedric fan. It’s now the Ravenclaw girl in Myrtle’s track that swoons, rather than a teacher. All in all, this scene was very fun already but has potential to be even more fun as this cast get more used to it and find new little things to try out.

I left the show with a huge smile on my face and very much looking forward to the year ahead. I am sorry that this isn’t formulated in the most logical way, I did want to go through in chronological order but when I was putting it together, it made more sense to me to do it by character and group scenes that gave me the same thoughts and feelings relating to each actor’s interpretations. Sorry if it doesn’t make sense. If anyone wants clarification on any specific points, please do let me know!

And of course, this is all only based on one show, in their very first week. I’m sure there’s a lot more that I haven’t noticed yet and I’m really looking forward to seeing them more, so I can find new things about their interpretations and watch them grow over the next year. This is my first cast change with this show and I’m feeling very optimistic and excited for a new year which is a great feeling. Honestly, I’m just so happy that I still feel as in love with this show as ever and I can’t wait to keep seeing it for as long as it still makes me feel like that!

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roslinadama-sinequanon · 7 years

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Major Crimes Re-Watch-Medical Causes

What I loved best about this episode is how Andy/Sharon centric it really is. Though I’m not sure the writers were even thinking in this vein yet or not, we get some major foreshadowing of the future Raydor/Flynn/Beck family with Sharon relying heavily on Andy to help her in dealing with Rusty and his mom.

The case-Jumping to conclusions. The crowd outside the club jumps on Lesley and nearly beats her to death assuming she was drunk when she plowed into the crowd. Later, after finding out how her boyfriend had drugged her Lesley is tormented by the idea that he made her a murderer and it is something that she will have to deal with for the rest of her life. Imagine how those people would feel if they’d killed Lesley and then found out that she was innocent. This is why we let the law deal with things, because in the heat of the moment no one is thinking rationally.

“Oh, you’re through already, cause that was hilarious“-Andy’s got the dad thing down. Rusty is pissed that he got dragged out of bed to follow Sharon to work and Andy gets another glimpse into what Sharon is dealing with—and sympathizes with her. After Rusty’s sarcastic rant, typically Sharon just ignores him and lets it all roll off her back. In her profession and because she is a mom she is used to this kind of stuff and doesn’t let it get to her, it is Andy in dad mode who gives it back to him.

“Maybe now you can get rid of the little psycho”-The look on Sharon’s face when Andy says this and the way that she speaks shows us that however much of a pain in the ass Rusty is, Sharon has already become attached to him and isn’t completely relishing the idea of letting him go. Also, I think she is understandably wary about Sharon Beck and handing Rusty back over to her given her history of abuse.

“You did get a warrant to search that purse?” “Come on, do you think I’m new at this?” The look that Sharon gives him is actually quite sexy and his cocky sexy grin in response is really the first—and only time—we get anything resembling a sexual vibe between them. Yes, we get a lot of sweet puppy dog eyes and tender smiles—but evidently, James Duff does not believe people over 50 can be sexy—just sweet and tender. And it is a real shame because Mary and Tony do it very well and there could have been some great sexual tension in the relationship that was never developed. These re-watch’s can be extremely frustrating because of all the “what could have, and should have beens.” So many missed opportunities.

“She’s agreed to return to LA and resume her role as Rusty’s mother as long as we wire her $500.00 cash.” OMFG, really? How BIG of her. This is a woman who should not be allowed to have a pet, let alone be responsible for a child. Personally, I think she should be arrested for child abandonment and gross neglect but Sharon Beck’s treatment of Rusty growing up is quite often glossed over on MC.

“Cough it up”- Interesting again that it is Andy who takes it upon himself to get contributions for Rusty’s mother’s bus. For Andy I think it is a combination of trying to help Rusty along with getting him off all their backs, while for Buzz it’s all about not having to baby-sit the little pain in the ass anymore. If he’d had the money, I think Buzz would have paid it in full to get rid of him. If that scene happened today, I think many MC fans would contribute to the “say bye bye to Rusty fund”. But, at this point in the series, the Rusty/Sharon condo mother ship scenes were my favorites. It’s only later when it becomes apparent that the TPTB aren’t interested in any other insight into Sharon’s life other than her job and as Rusty’s mother and the Rusty show started overshadowing and interrupting the Sharon storylines I really wanted to see developed, that I was ready for him to be gone--or at least cut back recurring status.

“Everyone is putting money in to buy a bus ticket.” “Everyone put money in?”

Kind of sad. Rusty’s never had people doing things for him before and he’s not sure how to respond to kindness other than to promise he’ll pay everyone back.

“Lt. Flynn has offered to take the two of you out to dinner.” It was only in the re-watch that I noticed the “offered”. I wonder if Andy offered because of his knowledge of addiction. Having spent so many years in AA and counseling Andy would probably be the one who could easily size Sharon Beck up--and also be the one to offer insight and assistance in getting her into a rehab situation should she be open to that. Having said that I think there was a real missed opportunity for a great scene here between Andy and Sharon. Sharon could have opened up to him about why she didn’t want to be the one to meet Sharon Beck, first because she didn’t want the woman to be ill at ease from the start and wanted this meeting to go well for Rusty, but also I think because she is angry with the way this woman treated Rusty and she doesn’t want Sharon B. to get that sense of judgment right from the start. I don’t think we get nearly enough of Sharon being frustrated or angry at the way Sharon B. treated Rusty. Understandably, she isn’t going to vent to Rusty because that isn’t appropriate, but I would like to have seen her vent a little “mama bear” to Andy or Provenza or anyone really. And then Andy would offer to take him to the bus station and take them out to dinner, that way he can size Sharon B. up and also offer assistance to get her on the path to regaining custody of Rusty.

“People have bad days.“ Good God, this just shows us the world Rusty inhabited. Yes, people have bad days, they say things they shouldn’t say etc. but a bad day is NOT abandoning your child at the zoo. No, that is criminal. In this scene with Sharon, we see Rusty the child and Rusty the enabler completely emerge. He makes every excuse in the book for his mother’s inexcusable behavior, especially blaming it all on Gary. Because it is easier to believe that someone made her dump him than it is to accept that his own mother left him of her own volition. He is trying to convince Sharon, and himself, that once Gary is out of the picture things will be perfect between them again, conveniently forgetting that they were not perfect before Gary was in the picture.

“I cannot release you into her custody right away.” I should think not. I’m surprised that Rusty didn’t think there would be any repercussions for what his mother did. It just shows how neglected he was his entire life for him not to realize what a terrible thing she did and that she would have to prove she could be a better mother to get him back.

“They’re not rules, they’re laws” Of course Rusty immediately turns on Sharon when she tells him she can‘t just hand him over to his mother, that‘s for a judge to decide, and, just like with Andy in episode 1, Sharon remains calm and rational in the face of his outburst. Rusty responds to this by immediately calming down, just as Andy did, which proves how good Sharon is at de-escalating angry confrontations.

“Concentrate on the positive”-Sharon is training Rusty on the way she deals with life. You can’t dwell on the negative; you have to try to take the best out of every situation.

“I wanna make this up to you, and I will. “ “You don’t have to make anything up to me. I was perfectly happy to help you.”

This is beyond Rusty’s comprehension; in his world, nobody does anything for anybody just out of the kindness of their heart. There is always the expectation of reciprocity. This is the start of Rusty continually feeling like he owes Sharon--no matter how many times she tells him he doesn’t owe her anything but to be safe and be kind.

“I guess I don’t have to fill out these school forms anymore.” “I guess not.”

There is almost a little sadness and a tinge of regret that shows us that Sharon does mean a little something to Rusty and that he is giving something up to regain his mother.

“Flynn can take Rusty’s mother to dinner, but if you would like to go with Rusty yourself?” “I would but I don’t think his mother would appreciate me being there and I want this to be as easy on Rusty as possible.”

Two things here--Provenza has just put out his own olive branch. He sees Sharon now as a person with feelings, not just the Captain who took away the job he wanted. And he can see how trying this whole situation is on her and tries to help. From this moment on the anger is gone, acceptance given. Of course, there is still a little friction occasionally, but it is more grudging and/or humorous than laced with rancor. It happened much faster for Sharon than for Brenda.

And, again, we see that Sharon is always trying to do the right thing, always trying to do what is best for others, not necessarily what is best for her. Provenza sees that and starts to respect that she is one of the “good guys”. But, at times, this isn’t always a good thing; it is this character trait that kept her in an unhappy marriage.

“Does it have a mini- bar? She doesn’t like mini-bars.” Rusty is obviously very nervous. Nervous about seeing his mother again, nervous about Andy judging her and nervous about his mother displaying her addictions in front of Andy. This is a great fatherly scene here for Andy. This is the Andy I love. He is kind, compassionate and understanding and does not make any derogatory comments about Sharon B. or what she‘s done, instead he humors Rusty‘s nerves and tries to make things easier for him. This is important because Andy is the dirt bag king; criminals only bring out disgust in him. So, for him to tell Rusty he got a nice hotel room for Sharon B. and then offering to cancel dinner when Rusty seems uncomfortable with it all, is quite revealing of the man beneath the cynical shield Andy surrounds himself with as a coping mechanism to deal with the ugliness of the world he inhabits in his work.

“Hold on…” Rusty is not oblivious to who his mother is. He knows Sharon B is not on that bus well before Andy turns his back on him to question the bus driver. Disappointed and devastated, his world crashing in, Rusty flees before bursting into tears in front of Andy.

“What do you mean Rusty ran off?” Andy feels so horrible about the situation. You can read it all over his face. And it’s personal. He truly feels like he let Sharon down, not just as his boss, but also as a friend. The fact that Sharon is trying so hard to be brave, assuring him that it’s not his fault only makes Andy feel even worse. And, like Rusty before her, Sharon has to turn to leave the murder room before she cries in front of her colleagues--though they can all tell by her sort of quivering voice.

It is interesting that at this point they are so convinced that Rusty just wants to escape they never bothered checking Sharon’s condo to see if he’d returned there.

It’s the end of another exhausting day--this time Sharon needs a glass of wine.

“Why did you run away from Lt. Flynn?” “I don’t cry in front of people and I started to cry, so I left.”

Sharon nods, she gets it. She doesn’t cry in front of people either. But more than that, Rusty has opened up to her for the first time, has allowed her to see his vulnerability. When Rusty offers to pay everyone back the money his mother stole from them Sharon makes up the idea that their bosses will cover it--yet again allowing someone to save face.

Rusty tells her he is filling out the forms for school, tacitly admitting that he has given up on his mother and will be staying with her.

“Your mother is the one who is losing out. It doesn’t have anything to do with you.“ I have a feeling this is probably something she’s had to tell her own children in regards to Jack’s disappearance from their lives. Rusty tells her it’s hard to let go and Sharon responds that holding on to someone when they’re gone is even harder. Again, speaking from her experience. This is something they have in common.

“Rusty is home.” For good. Sharon has become home to Rusty. His rose colored glasses have come off and he’s finally seen his mother for who she is, and, unlike his mother, Rusty learned in this episode that he could trust Sharon. She said she would find his mother and she did. So when his world came crashing down, he rushed back to Sharon’s condo, to his home, where he is safe and ready to build a new life with a mother who truly cares about his well being.

#sharon raydor #andy flynn #shandy #Major Crimes #medical cause

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monmartt · 7 years

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It’s hard to deny the importance of discipline. "Discipline has to do with civilizing your child so they can live in society," says psychiatrist Michael Brody, MD. Yet kids repeatedly test their parents’ limits. When it comes to disciplining children, there is no quick fix and no magic bullet. If you, like many parents, have tried to discipline kids who don’t want to listen, this article is for you. WebMD asked parenting experts for tips on finding that nice balance between disciplining kids without being a drill sergeant or a pushover. Discipline Tip # 1: Reward Good Behavior When punishment is the centerpiece of discipline, parents tend to overlook their children’s best behaviors. "You’ll get a lot further with positive reinforcement than negative reinforcement," says Mason Turner, MD, chief of psychiatry at Kaiser Permanente San Francisco Medical Center. Rewarding good deeds targets behaviors you want to develop in your child, not things he shouldn’t be doing. This doesn’t mean you should give your child a pound of chocolate every time he picks up a paperclip. "There are grades of positive reinforcement," says Turner. "There’s saying ‘good job. I’m really glad you did that,’ when your child cleans his room." And there are times when your child does something extraordinary that may warrant a larger reward. Discipline Tip # 2: Be Clear About Rules If your rules are vague, or discussed only when one has been broken, your child will have a hard time following them. "It’s up to the parent to make clear what’s expected of the child and what isn’t," says Brody, who chairs the Media Committee of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Be sure to explain the rules of the house when you can speak clearly and your child is not too upset to listen. James Sears, MD, a pediatrician in Southern California, suggests practicing discipline when it works for you. For instance, when you have 30 minutes to spare, interrupt your child’s game and tell her you need help with something. If she helps, great, do a quick and easy chore together and let her go back to her game. If she throws a tantrum, you have time to deal with it. "If you do that every once in a while, your child will understand that when Mommy says I need to put my toys away, I need to do it," says Sears. Discipline Tip # 3: Neutralize Arguments How do you deal with a child who wants to argue into submission? Steer clear of no-win arguments. Instead, "go brain dead," advises Jim Fay, co-author of Parenting with Love and Logic. For instance, if your child says, "This isn’t fair," say, "I know." If your child says, "All of my friends get to have this," say, "I know." Or you can use the phrase, "And what did I say?" to enforce rules you have already discussed with your child. Sometimes the less you say, the more clear your point becomes. Discipline Tip # 4: Buy Yourself Time You may have read that children need to experience the consequences of their actions as soon as possible. And maybe you’ve heard that parents should be calm as they discipline children. In reality, you may not be able keep your cool and react right away. "Buy yourself time to calm down before you deal with the situation," suggests Fay. You can tell your child, "Wow, bad decision. I need some time to figure out what I’m going to do about that." When your emotions are in check, express empathy for your child first, then deliver the consequences. Empathy gives your child room to connect his behavior to the outcome. "You don’t have to get angry at kids, you don’t have to yell. Just allow it to become their problem," says Fay. Discipline Tip # 5: Be Consistent About Rules Sometimes sticking to the rules is as challenging for parents as it is for kids. Sears sees too many parents turn the other cheek when their kids talk back or otherwise act out. "Parents just are not consistent in enforcing rules," he tells WebMD. Not enforcing your own rules puts everything you say into question. "If kids don’t know what to expect from their parents, they never really know what the rules are." You may want to back down for fear of ruining your child’s fun. Keep in mind that kids benefit from limits. Rules and structure give children the security of knowing their parents are watching out for them. As kids get older, you can take a more flexible approach. Around the ages of 9 and 12, kids should get "a little leeway to test out the rules," says Brody. "But always be very careful about safety." Discipline Tip # 6: Model Good Behavior Like it or not, your children are watching you. You can dole out as much advice as you want, but your personal conduct makes a more lasting impression than your words. "The number one way human beings learn is through imitation and copy," says Fay. If you want your child to be honest, make sure you practice honesty. If you want your child to be polite, let her see your best manners, at home and in public. The fact is, raising disciplined children is not easy. Despite your best efforts, there will always be good days and bad days. For evidence, look to the experts we interviewed for this article. Even after years of working with families, all four shared stories of their own children’s meltdowns or misbehavior. "As a parent, you’re constantly pushing your own limits. It’s the toughest but the greatest job I’ve ever had," says Turner.

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