#james nida grey

[girlsbtrs]

Lia Menaker on her music, inspirations, and teaming up with Melanated Social Work

Written and edited by James N. Grey. Graphic by Moira Ashley. 

Lia Menaker wants to support Black lives, specifically within the mental health sphere. So she donated the proceeds from her album, I am Kyrøs, toward ending the stigma around mental health in those communities. Girls Behind the Rock Show connected with her to get her perspective on her music, her identification with the cause, and how she feels it all ties together.

How did you find Melanated Social Work and how did you identify with their cause? 

I actually know one of the founders personally, Marvin Toliver, so I’ve been following their social media and learning about the organization from him. We are talking a lot about police reform and the justice system now, which is great and important. But we often forget about the health component. And these guys, in their focus on the liberation of Black and Brown people, are working to end the stigma around mental health in Black and Brown communities, and working to make sure mental health professionals are truly culturally competent. I realized that they were the best place to dedicate my resources and time to.

What inspired you to donate your Bandcamp proceeds to them?

George Floyd was killed just weeks before my EP was set to release. And when the riots started, and the country started waking up to the level of police brutality threatening people of color, and the injustice of our institutions, it felt very strange to release the EP. The intersection of everything—COVID-19, the racial disparities and economic inequalities thus heightened, and the slew of unjust murders of POC—all became this giant traumatic thing our country was experiencing. I felt Black voices should be heightened, and in many ways, felt that it wasn't the right time to share the music. But on the other side of things, I also knew the world needed as much art as possible, of all kinds. Since the songs dealt with identity and the self, they could relate to what was going on in many ways. 

I decided the best thing to do would be to release the music as planned, and in between the sharing and promoting of the album, to highlight as many Black voices and resources and information as possible. I wanted this to incorporate a donation and some awareness of solid Black-run organizations. 

How has being Kyrøs allowed you to be more creative and free? 

The word “kairos” is an ancient Greek concept referring to that perfect melding of space and time when it’s the opportune moment to act. It was a way of measuring time in moments (versus “kronos,” which was their concept for chronological time). When I came across the word, it felt like it described my change as an artist to a T. And once I took on the name, all that history that comes with one’s name—the feelings, memories, habits and obstacles that came with 30+ years of being “Lia Menaker”— dissolved. I think I subconsciously felt the freedom to try new things. 

I started producing, and getting super creative on my live streams. I was improv-ing with no idea what I was doing, but it didn’t matter. I just kept doing it and didn’t feel the same self-judgment I’d had before. Approaching music with a sort of reckless abandon allowed me to be the best and boldest version of myself.

But what’s interesting is even the things that free you can start to take control of you. That high you get from being in such an open, creative space…you can only ride that wavelength for so long. At some point, you get stuck again, and you find yourself chasing that high. It can become an addiction, you know? 

In a way, I ended up clinging to that identity of who I was when I was kyrøs, and I didn’t realize it until I was literally releasing the songs. It’s a big reason why it became the album name instead of my new artist name. I realized it was really more of an alter ego all along. That it didn’t replace Lia Menaker as an artist. So it turns out I was still learning lessons on identity as I was releasing the songs!

How did your childhood in theater and pop music inspire you?

While kids watched shows like Sesame Street and Barney, I was watching Annie, The Sound of Music, [and] Peter Pan… I was always drawn to it and felt like I could see myself in the characters. I begged my mom to do a musical at age 6 (Oliver), and then I was hooked doing musicals the rest of my childhood and most of my young adult life. So I think it felt like a language I understood, a form of expression I connected to on another level. There was always a story to the songs, an arc, [and] often, deep emotion and expressive vocals. I think the way I approach music—my soulfulness and the way I connect to it—comes from years of growing up with that. Also, I think a lot of my phrasing and how I articulate words comes from the musical theatre influence.

I think it was later in life that pop music began to really inspire me. Discovering Joni Mitchell was a huge one. Her incredible use of lyrics (in my opinion, she’s one of the lyrical greats and extremely underrated), and her 100% unabashed authenticity and womanliness was captivating. Her music is poetic, moody, unique—filled with so much complex emotion and story. Lyrically, I think my first album (Animal Behavior, in 2015) shows some of her influence on me. Especially the opening track, “Holding My Space.” 

But pop aside, some of the great jazz vocalists were a big influence on me as well. It started with Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday. It was an easy segue because they sang a lot of Gershwin and musical theatre covers, but then I delved deeper into their work, and eventually found (and fell in love with) Nina Simone too. The raw, warm, raspy, bold voice filled with more soul and both joy and pain than I could imagine. And I always found that type of music so beautiful as a kid. I just found that part of people to be equally as beautiful as the lighter side, and found expressing pain through art to be the most incredible thing. So when I heard music that captured that, I think I was always intrigued. 

What storylines in your 30's did you find that you were shucking off?

I had this limited view of myself my whole life as a singer/performer. Since I was 6 years old, that was my life: community theatre as a kid, studying musical theatre at Penn State, tours and regional theatre, then songwriting, music and singing in every fashion. It was the way I saw my value to the world, and I basically lived for my dreams and goals—this is how I saw whether or not I was successful. And the thought of not reaching them consumed me… 

I always felt I wasn’t measuring up to whom I could be. This was a huge storyline I had to face: this idea of not being enough right now. And then it got me thinking about all this living in the ego… and “if I’m not my dreams, my goals, or even my job, what am I?” This inspired the song “Some Kind” because I realized if I wasn’t those things I most identified with, I was still me. A lot of the lyrics to that song express the storylines I grappled with, and also how I made sense of them: “We measure all that’s left with time - a calculated art. The things we do that give us pride, we hold up high as if it’s all that we are / All the stories give us meaning - keep us moving on… make it real. Run our choices, our bodies - keep us fused to what we feel.” 

I would look back periodically at my life and think things like “What have I even done? My tour wasn’t successful enough, not enough people are listening to my music, I don’t make the money I should be making at this age, I’ll never amount to anything.” [I used] whatever metrics I thought would show me proof of a valuable life. I still struggle with them sometimes. Realizing the storylines is just the start. You have to keep checking yourself [and make sure] that you’re not caught up in them again. They were ingrained in my head for years, so it takes time to rewire the brain. 

Ultimately, in my 30s, I’m finding so much more joy in the process and the creation itself, and trying to practice looking at what I have in my life as “enough.” The older I get, the more I see life passing quicker, and the more I just want to take it all in. To bask in love and music and the feeling of living with versus without. The 30s are a great time, because I think it’s the decade where a lot of us start to realize these things. Though, of course, some of us go our entire lives without feeling like we are, or we have enough. And new storylines will always be created, so we have to just keep checking ourselves. Especially when we’re all so obsessed with social media. Social media is literally a collection of storylines.

What inspired you to meld together eclectic sounds? Why a soulful, jazzy voice with a minimalistic background?

I’ve always loved warm, jazz vocals. As I mentioned earlier, I grew up engrossed in musical theatre, and that included a lot of standards by singers like Nina Simone, Billie Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald. About four years ago, I also re-fell in love with Amy Winehouse and started really listening to her vocals and her style, pinpointing what it was that I loved so much. There’s a mix of this warmth and authenticity, but with a modern edge that just hits you in all the right places. So that’s what’s inspired my sound vocally.

But at the same time, I’m a big fan of using unconventional sounds and challenging people’s ears. A lot of what I’ve listened to over the past few years has strong electronic elements. SOHN is one I’m really drawn to, and he’s brilliant at the mix of pure/simple and unconventional. He has this way of putting a simple, soaring, haunting vocal over a backdrop of complex, evolving electronic elements. It’s a sound that you can’t produce with conventional instruments. When I first heard him, it blew my mind—it was like a spiritual experience, and I thought “I want to do THAT!” Susanne Sundfor’s Silicone Veil album was a big game changer for me too. 

I loved the idea of marrying the two worlds—this classic, timeless feel with an electronic modern sound that reflects the times—to create something authentic to me and my influences. With so much of our world being digital now, it felt right to experiment with electronic elements. And when I started playing around with new software, and some samples, beats, and different gear, it just all slowly started to meld together into a sound that felt right.

What were some favorite ways that you experimented with sounds and techniques to achieve your sound? Anything that you might take over with you into the future?

A lot of the experimentation happened (and continues to happen) during my weekly live streams on Twitch (@liamenaker). It’s sort of the place where I have permission to work through songs, try stuff out, and honestly just have a lot of fun and engage with others during the creation process. The community there is also so incredibly supportive and open. The last song I wrote for the album, “Imprinted,” started out as some improv loops and just fooling around on my Twitch live stream: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xWjEAYAa7w. And I have at least four others waiting in the queue to finish that also began the same way. One of which I sent over to a jazz funk band in Paris to collaborate with me on. So I’ll definitely keep this as part of my approach. 

Aside from that, my process is always changing, to be honest. So I’m trying to remain open to new techniques and approaches, and to keep allowing myself to be inspired by other artists and sounds. I’d like to explore more synth sounds and recording techniques, and just keep improving as an artist and producer as well. One thing I’ve noticed, too, is if I zero in too much on one writing approach or technique, I start to cling to it, relying on that as the way I “should” write everything. And then things just start to feel stale for me, or I run out of juice or hit a writer’s block. Then I find a new technique or gear or collaboration. I guess that’s why my approach keeps changing. We’ll see how long the current one sticks for, ha!

Which track on the EP is your favorite and why?

I think it keeps changing. But at the moment, the opening track "All My Life" is my favorite. I’m really connecting to the meditative and tribal nature of it, and I think the chorus is the catchiest of the songs. It has that "nobody's gonna bring me down!" feeling too, which feels extra relevant now, as many of us in the country feel like we're just pushing forward, doing everything we can to make things work during this difficult time.

I constantly imagine songs in other places: are there any movies/TV shows or any other places where you'd imagine your songs would play?

I can see some of these in crime and murder mystery-type shows. I’ve had people tell me “Imprinted” has a Twin Peaks or James Bond feel to it. So maybe a show or movie with a kind of slinky jazz lounge vibe. There’s definitely a meditative, tribal feel to some of the songs too, so I think they could work in a movie/TV show with that vibe. But honestly, I think less about music in terms of specific movies or TV shows, and more about fitting themes. So, for example, “All My Life” is perfect to capture that theme of being unstoppable, or a character finally going after their dream. “Stranger” would work well for a theme of not feeling like yourself or acting out of character. I think a lot of the songs on the album fit clear, universal themes, and so I’m hoping that I can find some success pitching these to music supervisors, production companies, etc.

For all us young'un's out there: How much of our identity is actually wrapped up in our dreams? Do you think it's important to separate our dreams, identity, and realities?

Uh oh… you’re going to get me on a soapbox, ha!

So I think it’s different for everyone, but I think it’s fair to say that for most of us, yes, our identity is either wrapped up in our dreams and/or in our work. Think about it. When we meet people, how often do we ask, “What do you do?” as if the answer will give us an accurate idea of who they really are. And how often do we judge people based on their careers?

But the truth is, achievements DO NOT define who you are, and do not define your worth, value, or potential. And while dreams can shape us, they can also limit us. They can keep us from seeing other sides of ourselves. And when we’re hyper focused on them, we miss out on so much beauty! I find the most memorable moments of life are actually quiet, behind the scenes, and not at all the result of working towards a dream or goal. [Goals] are not as great when they determine your ultimate view of yourself and control your amount of suffering. 

I think I’m just realizing now too, that I hate the term “dream.” Dream sounds like an “all or nothing” approach. “Ideal” feels more flexible. For some reason, it feels healthier for me to look at it as “my ideal situation” version “my dream.”All around us, we’re being told we need to “dream big” and “you can do whatever you set your mind to” and “live up to your potential.” We love to dote on famous and rich people or take courses on how to be like them. Those who never “make it” (whatever that awful phrase even means) are looked at as failures, less successful, not as worthy or talented or smart. It’s. All. Bullshit. And the song on the EP “Imprinted” basically revolves around all of this. 

So do I think it’s important to separate our dreams, identity, and realities? I think it’s probably unrealistic to try to. I think it’s all intertwined. Our dreams (or “ideal situation,” ha) will probably shape a bit of who we are (our identity). But I think the key is to understand [that] it’s a very small, ego-driven piece of who we are, and doesn’t ultimately define us. And I think it’s important to see our identities (and dreams for that matter) as constantly shifting. To, as one of my favorite spiritual teachers Pema Chödrön talks about, get comfortable with the fact that the ground beneath us is always shifting. I think it’s healthy to incorporate the stuff on the ego-level (dreams, identity) and the stuff underneath, the non-ego (that pure essence of who we are underneath the dreams, underneath the identity perceptions, underneath all judgments and experiences). Because while the stuff on the surface doesn’t define the essence of who we are, it’s still a reality that we take the train into work, or have to cook dinner for the kids, or need to make money to survive, right? These are still very real; they’re just not the full picture. And that’s the important part.

I think it’s especially important for the younger generations to pay attention to all of this in the age of social media. [Social media has] made understanding the truth of who we are and the idea of living in the non-ego so hard. Social media is all ego, storylines. I’m not saying it doesn’t have a lot of good aspects to it too. But it make[s] it very hard to feel and see the layers of a situation. Things are often black and white on social media, and we are sold specific messages on what it means to be successful and happy. It’s a system based on instant gratification (likes, comments, followers), and we have the tendency to add it up to calculate our value. If we’re not careful, it can drive us further from the whole truth, and deeper into the storylines.

Lia Menaker’s album I am Kyrøs is available now on https://liamenaker.bandcamp.com/. 

All proceeds throughout the month of July benefit Melanated Social Work [https://www.instagram.com/melanatedsocialwork/?hl=en]. 

[xtruss]

Goodbye Ted Dexter, Free Spirit, Cricket Thinker, Renaissance Man

The England and Sussex captain had aura, flair, majestic batting, and impossible glamour - and that was just on the field

— Mark Nicholas | 27 August, 2021

Ted Dexter batting in a ring of close-in fielders in Sydney, January 1963 Getty Images

I don't know when the Ted Dexter affectation started but I can guess. The last thing my father did with me before he died so young was to take me to see the 1968 Gillette Cup final at Lord's. This was during Ted's short comeback and when the great man strode to the wicket, I leapt about in excitement, cheering his name for all I was worth. He didn't get many but no matter, I had seen him live. That evening Dad bowled to me in the garden as I imitated every Dexter mannerism and stroke I had seen just a few hours before.

"There is about Dexter, when he chooses to face fast bowling with determination, a sort of air of command that lifts him above ordinary players. He seems to find time to play the fastest bowling and still retain dignity, something near majesty, as he does it." — John Arlott

I fell for the aura, and for the flair in those back-foot assaults on fast bowlers. Not for a minute do I think I saw the 70 in 75 balls against Wes Hall and Charlie Griffith at Lord's in 1963 but I feel as if I did - the power, the poise, the sheer gall of it. Nothing, not even the Beatles, could drag me from the television screen when he walked to the wicket, seemingly changing the picture from black-and-white to glorious technicolor as he took guard. Frankly, much of the Test cricket of the time was pretty dull but there was a frisson, an expectation, with Ted, just as there is when Ben Stokes is on his way today. It was all too brief, he had retired for good before I started proper school.

The West Indians of the day - Conrad Hunte, Garry Sobers, Wes Hall - thought that innings the best played against them by anybody, though Dexter himself would modestly say it was just one of those days where everything came together and the bat swung freely in just about the right arc. He was well miffed to be given out lbw, however, insisting later that the DRS would have saved him. Who knows how many careers might have been changed by the sliding doors of the DRS.

The word majesty sits well with Dexter's batting, primarily because of the way in which he attacked through the off side off his back foot. This is a stroke so difficult to master that more prosaic batters choose to ignore it. It is no great surprise that Dexter thought Gordon Greenidge and Martin Crowe the two most technically correct right-hand players that he saw, citing their ability to stay sideways-on and to play the ball alongside their body as the prime reason for the accolade.

He was a huge fan of Joe Root and became near apoplectic during the England captain's relatively lean spell a while ago, when he became square-on to the bowler and was playing in front of his body. This niggled so much that he wrote to Root without mincing his words. Though at first put out, Root soon saw the kindness in a man of Dexter's age and knowledge who bothered to write, and therefore returned an email of thanks with the observation that he took the point. Who knows to what degree? It is enough to say that this year Root has batted about as well as any man could have done, and no one has enjoyed each of these innings in Sri Lanka, India, and now at home as much as Dexter.

One final appeal: Dexter (fourth from left) watches as umpire Charlie Elliot gives John Inverarity out off Derek Underwood, The Oval, 1968 Getty Images

For the best part of a year now, Ted has been banging on about Dawid Malan: simply couldn't understand why England didn't pick him to bat at three. He cited the hundred in Perth in 2017 and this year's big scores for Yorkshire before predicting near-certain success with the method that brought those runs. It is sad, indeed, that he didn't live to see the fulfillment of his prophecy in Malan's fine innings yesterday. He liked the look of James Vince and Zak Crawley too, cricketers who stand tall and play with freedom. He got a lot right, this man of Radley, Cambridge, Sussex and England.

Tall himself, strong, handsome and impossibly glamorous, Edward Ralph Dexter caught everyone's eye. With the golden Susan Longfield on his arm, they cut quite a dash and cared little for the sniping that came from those less blessed. The enigma in him - and how! - was often confused with indifference, and though cricket has remained his other great love, it was never the be-all and end-all for him - a fact that made his appearances all the more cherished and his company all the more engaging. It is remarkable to think that he first retired as far back as 1965, before returning briefly in 1968 to make a double-hundred at Hastings against Kent and be immediately recalled to the England team for the Ashes. In the brilliant photograph (above) of the moment when Derek Underwood claims the final wicket at The Oval, Ted is caught spinning to appeal for lbw with a face that smacks of a lifelong instinct for competition and achievement.

"Ted was a man of moods, often caught up in theories, keen when the action was hot, seemingly uninterested when the game was dull... a big-time player, one who responded to atmosphere, liked action and enjoyed the chase and gamble. Maybe this was the reason he was drawn to horse racing so that a dull day stalking the covers might be enlivened for him by thoughts of how his money was faring on the 3:15 at Ascot or Goodwood." — John Snow

Richie Benaud and Dexter in Sydney during the 1963-64 Ashes Frank Albert Charles Burke / Fairfax Media/Getty Images

And Snow would know for he was not the type to rise above those grey days of county cricket when the stakes were so low. Snow and Dexter, my first heroes, along with Jimmy Greaves and George Best, Muhammad Ali, the Beatles and the Stones - all of them important figures at 29 Queensdale Road, where the young Nicholas grew up with vinyl records and cared-for willow, narrow-grained and well-oiled for the garden Test matches that England forever won.

Much of the 1960s were about rebellion, revolution even, in response to the age of austerity. After the long and mainly drab post-war years, the young simply broke free and changed pretty much anything they could get their hands on. Music and fashion led the way, leaving sport's establishment to stutter in their wake. Only a few precious players could transcend the inertia, using both their talent and expression to delight the crowds and influence the young. Cricket was my thing, Dexter and Snow were the wind beneath my wings.

In Snow there truly was rebellion, against authority and the system it supported. This was not so in Dexter's case, though his free spirit and somewhat cavalier approach to responsibility gave the impression of one determined to ruffle feathers. From the outset he adored sport, worked harder than some might think at his books, and embraced diversions with the enthusiasm of a man who had more to do than could ever be done.

In many ways Ted was a contradiction: at once a conformist, as shaped by the early years of his life at home and school, and a modernist, whose lateral thinking did much to reform the structure of English cricket during his time as chairman of selectors. Richie Benaud observed that Ted's imagination and drive "will be of great benefit to English cricket in years to come. Equally, I'm in no doubt that others will take the credit for it." The rebellion in Ted was hardly radicalised but he loved to challenge conservative thinking, to take risks and to invest in his life as an adventure. Both on and off the field, this made for a terrific watch.

The best of Ted: Dexter on his way to 70 against Wes Hall and Charlie Griffith at Lord's, June 1963 PA Photos

He thought the Hundred a good wheeze and admitted he would rather like to have played it himself. He was, of course, the original thinker about one-day cricket, supporting its conception as early as the late 1950s and then leading Sussex to the first two 60-over titles at Lord's in the Gillette Cup. He paid close attention to the tactics and convinced his men that following them to the letter would do the trick. Which it did. He pushed for four-day county matches 27 years before they were incorporated and he founded the idea of central contracts for England players long before other teams caught the bug.

He was proud of his part in the development of the spirit of cricket, applying golf's moral high ground to the game that made his name. Through his own PR agency, he became a pioneer in cricket's digital-technology revolution by inventing the system of Test match rankings that first announced itself under the banner of Deloitte and is now the ICC international rankings.

On a Zoom call a couple of months back, with tongue firmly in cheek, he said, "Having a rather high opinion of myself, I can safely say that had the rankings been in place sometime around the mid part of the 1963 summer, I would have been the No. 1-rated batsman in the world." We had special guests on these calls - Mike Atherton, Michael Vaughan, Ed Smith, Robin Marlar, Sir Tim Rice and more - all keen to share a drink, chew the cud and have a laugh with the game's most original and forward-thinking mind.

Champagne days: (from left) Fred Trueman, Dexter, David Sheppard and Colin Cowdrey celebrate after winning the Melbourne Test, January 1963 PA Photos/Getty Images

We cannot jump past golf without mentioning the game at the Australian Golf Club in Sydney when Ted partnered Norman Von Nida against Jack Nicklaus and Gary Player. So enamoured of Ted's golf were they that Nicklaus suggested Ted follow him back to the USA for a crack at the tour. Player has long said that Ted was the best amateur ball-striker he ever saw and Von Nida just thanked him for securing the one-up triumph that day. Eighteen months ago Player told me that in their one head to head with each other, Ted beat him up the last at Sunningdale, receiving only four shots. "Little so-and-so," said Ted, "we played level!" They were due for a game last summer but Covid stood firmly between them. The last time I played with Ted, two summers ago now, he beat his age, shooting 83 round the Old Course at Sunningdale without breaking a sweat.

This was a man of Jaguar cars, Norton motorbikes, greyhounds, race horses and an Aztec light airplane that, in 1970, he piloted to Australia with his young family beside him, to cover the Ashes as a journalist. They flew 12,000 miles and made about two dozen stops at British military bases along the way.

Ted married the very beautiful Susan soon after returning from Australia and New Zealand in the spring of 1959. How she is hurting today. So too Genevieve, Tom and the grandchildren.

There was an eccentricity in him that was occasionally misunderstood but otherwise immensely appealing and it is with that in mind, that I turn to the man himself for the final word. It comes from his blog, which is a splendid read and will remain a platform for the family to share their thoughts about this husband, father and grandfather who brought us so much joy.

Dexter and Frank Worrell at a BBC interview with Peter West, August 1963 Harry Todd / Fox Photos/Getty Images

It was in my last term at Radley College when I had a hard game of rackets in the morning, scored 3 tries with two conversions for the 1st XV in the afternoon, was heard listening to operatic voices in the early evening, before repairing to the Grand Piano in the Mansion and knocking off a couple of Chopin preludes. "Quite the Renaissance man it seems" said my Social Tutor and I admit I liked the sound of it, if not quite knowing what it meant.

The Encyclopaedia Brittanica description of Renaissance man (or polymath) is as follows: one who seeks to develop skills in all areas of knowledge, in physical development and social accomplishment and in the arts. A point is made that you do not need to excel at any one activity. It is enough to tackle it seriously and see how far you get. I like the physical development bit obviously and I feel the social accomplishment bit is covered by my willingness to take on responsibilities all my life. Perhaps the arts bit is a bit shaky but a love for music, and particularly opera, and love of language - being fairly fluent in French, Italian, rudimentary German and Spanish - may be some modest qualifications."

Some different cat, huh. What a man. What a cricketer. Goodbye Ted, and thank you.

[zayzaycom]

VERTICAL ENTERTAINMENT Presents A Forrest Films and ESX Entertainment Production Film by Alex Ranarivelo

Theatrical Release Date: June 16, 2017 (DVD July 18) Running Time: 92 minutes Rating: “PG-13” by the MPAA Facebook: www.facebook.com/prayforrainfilm Twitter: www.twitter.com/PrayforRainFilm Instagram: www.instagram.com/prayforrainfilm

SYNOPSIS A young New York journalist returns to the idyllic Central California farming community where she was raised only to find it has been ravaged by drought and has become a place ruled by gangs, violent threats and greed. She is forced to investigate the suspicious circumstances of her father’s death even though it puts her in great danger

Q&A WITH DIRECTOR ALEX RANARIVELO

Q) You’ve made multiple films with ESX Entertainment. What is the process like for you when you decide which projects you want to direct? When deciding on what project I’d like to direct next, it all starts with the story. Does it have an interesting hook and does it have heart? Like the main character in PRAY FOR RAIN, I knew very little about the water crisis in the Central Valley when I first read the script. I had no idea how important this area was for the country and it made me want to find out more about what’s going on there. That is how I hope audiences will respond to the film.

Q) Did much change between the script and the production while on set? There weren’t many changes between the script and what ended up on screen; mostly some dialogue and adjustments for location changes.

Q) How did the communities in Northern and Central California react to the production? The communities we filmed in – Petaluma and Coalinga – were very receptive to us. John Harris of Harris Ranch was a tremendous supporter and gave us unlimited access to his properties.

Q) What was it like working with the main cast, including Jane Seymour, Annabelle Stephenson, and Nicholas Gonzalez? I had a dream cast on PRAY FOR RAIN. Everyone was perfect in their role. Jane Seymour and Annabelle Stephenson got so in sync as mother and daughter that at one point I stopped needing to give any direction. Maybe just small adjustment here or there. Nicholas Gonzalez was a total team player and brought strength and vulnerability to his role of Sheriff Nico.

Q) How do the themes in the film reflect our current environment following the election? President Trump said last year that the water problem is “insane” and “we are going to solve your water problem.” I hope he sticks to that promise.

Q) What should audiences know most about the film before seeing it? Audiences should know that we are not proposing a solution for the water problem. We want to present the argument and we want to raise awareness for what’s going on. Do your own research and come to your own conclusions, but in the meantime, just enjoy watching this story.

ABOUT THE CAST

JANE SEYMOUR (“Olivia Gardner”) A multiple Emmy and Golden Globe winner, recipient of the Officer of the British Empire (OBE) in the year 2000, which was bestowed upon her by Queen Elizabeth II at Buckingham Palace, Jane Seymour has proven her talents in virtually all media, the Broadway stage, motion pictures and television.  Her love of art and color has led to her great success as a painter in watercolors and oils and as a designer.

Seymour currently stars opposite Adam Sandler in the Netflix original feature film “Sandy Wexler” and co-stars with Malcolm McDowell in the stirring independent film “Bereave Me Not”, a film which she also produced.   She also made a stunning return to series television in the Sky TV drama “Hooten and the Lady” which debuted in the UK in September of 2016.

Most importantly, Seymour continues to raise much needed funds and gives through donations of her artwork to numerous local and national charities which help children in need, raising awareness for women’s heart health and various other important issues dear to her heart. Seymour resides in Malibu, is mother to six adult children and a grandmother of six.

  ANNABELLE STEPHENSON (“Emma Gardner”) Annabelle Stephenson was born in London, England. Her family emigrated to the Gold Coast, Australia when she was an infant. Her breakout role was in 2006, when she landed the role of ‘Miriam Kent’ in the hit children’s TV show “H20: Just Add Water”.

After graduating high school, Annabelle was one of the select few accepted into the prestigious school NIDA (National Institute of Dramatic Art) in Sydney. She joined the alumni of successful Australian actors, such as Cate Blanchett, Baz Luhrmann and Sam Worthington, and graduated with a B.A. in Acting. Since graduating NIDA, Annabelle has had a stellar career in TV, film, theatre and radio in Australia.

She is now based in Los Angeles. Since moving to LA her credits include Series Regular on ABC’s “Revenge”. Starring in Amazon pilot “Point of Honor”, working with Randall Wallace (Braveheart) and Carlton Cuse (Lost); Lead actress in MTV’s “Hot Mess” pilot. Annabelle also has another film “Escape Room” (Voltage Pictures) soon to be released.

  NICHOLAS GONZALEZ (“Nico Reynoso”) Nicholas Gonzalez continues to impress with a substantial list of current and upcoming projects. On television, he’s presently starring on Freeform’s smash hit PRETTY LITTLE LIARS as Detective Marco Furey, Netflix’s hit show NARCOS, and the new CW series FREQUENCY. He is recurring on Amazon’s critically acclaimed series BOSCH as Detective Ignacio Ferris, CW’s THE FLASH as Cisco’s brother Dante Ramon, and BET’s BEING MARY JANE. He can also next be seen on ABC’s HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER.

A graduate of Stanford University with a BA in English, Nicholas first burst onto the scene in the critically acclaimed Showtime series RESSURECTION BLVD. where he played boxer/medical student Alex Santiago. He followed that with a steady stream of roles, most notably as Detective Mike Sandoval in NBC’s LAW & ORDER: SVU and as Detective Luke Morales in Fox’s hit SLEEPY HOLLOW. Additional television roles include appearances on JANE THE VIRGIN, MODERN FAMILY, BOJACK HORSEMAN, BONES, BORDERTOWN, TRUE BLOOD, and GREY’S ANATOMY. On the big screen, he has been seen in THE PURGE: ANARCHY, ANACONDAS, DIRTY, SWAT: FIREFIGHT, and BEHIND ENEMY LINES II. He will next be seen in PRAY FOR RAIN, opposite Jane Seymour. He also can be seen as the lead in BATTLEFIELD: HARDLINE, the fifth installment of the celebrated video game series BATTLEFIELD from Electronic Arts (EA).

Gonzalez is originally from San Antonio, Texas, and currently resides in L.A. with his wife, actress Kelsey Crane. Charities dear to him include Friends of El Faro and Children’s Hospital LA.

  PAUL RODRIGUEZ (“Francisco Reynoso”) Longtime comedian Paul Rodriguez has been making audiences laugh all over the world (in Spanish and English) for three decades with his unique brand of humor that is a perfect blend of his Latin heritage, the American dream and his undeniable universal appeal. As an actor and comedian, Paul Rodriguez’s multi-faceted career includes starring roles and featured appearances in over 45 films and countless television series and comedy specials.

Voted one of the most influential Hispanics in America and awarded the Ruben Salazar Award by The National Council of La Raza (NCLR), the largest national Hispanic civil rights and advocacy organization in the United States, Rodriguez has remained a constant force in his community and the world of comedy throughout his career.

Rodriguez’s film credits include “If” with Ryan Guzman, William Fichtner, and Columbus Short, “Mission Air” with Tom Arnold and Jamie Kennedy, “Without Men” with Eva Longoria and Christian Slater, “Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore,” “The Deported,” “I’m Not Like That No More” with comedian Felipe Esparza (2010 “Last Comic Standing” winner), Disney’s blockbuster hit “Beverly Hills Chihuahua,” “The World’s Fastest Indian,” “A Cinderella Story,” “How to Get the Man’s Foot Outta Your Ass,” “Ali,” “Tortilla Soup,” “Crocodile Dundee in LA,” “Rat  Race,” “Bloodwork,” “Chasing Papi” and “D.C. Cab,” among others.

  JOHN DUCEY (“Adam Campbell”) John Ducey arrived in Los Angeles in 1991 with a Chevy Corsica and a dream. That dream was to one day own a better car than a Chevy Corsica. Since that day, John has had starring TV roles in NBC’s Bad Judge, WB’s Sabrina the Teenage Witch, ABC’s Oh Grow Up!, and Disney Channel’s JONAS. He has also guest-starred on many of your favorite shows, including Will & Grace, Bones, Castle, iCarly, How I Met Your Mother, Scrubs, Desperate Housewives, Ally McBeal, Frasier, and even Matlock. (He’s been doing this a long time, people.) His movie roles include Running Wild, Deep Impact, Space Jam, and the Christmas classic, The Search for Santa Paws (Spoiler alert: they find him). John has also dabbled in writing, including this bio, and Dirt, starring Kevin Dillon and the beautiful Christina Moore. John now drives a Toyota Corolla. The dream continues.

  JAMES MORRISON (“Patrick Waring”) Best known as the honest and stalwart head of CTU, Bill Buchanan, in four seasons FOX’s Emmy Award-winning series, 24.  He will soon be appearing in the much anticipated TWIN PEAKS reboot on Showtime.

James started his acting career as a clown and wire walker for the Carson and Barnes Wild Animal Circus in the mid-1970’s and served his theatrical apprenticeship with the Alaska Repertory Theatre during its 1977-79 seasons. Since then, he’s done about a hundred plays at theatres like Princeton’s McCarter Theatre, the La Jolla Playhouse, the Mark Taper Forum, the LA Stage Company, The Jupiter Theatre, The Salt Lake Acting Company, The Old Globe, and The Pasadena Playhouse with such wonderful directors as Emily Mann, Don Amendolia, Des McAnuff, Jack O’Brien, Charles Nelson Reilly, Jose Quintero and Harry Mastrogeorge, his acting teacher since 1982.  He also has appeared in the films The Meanest Man in Texas, The Jazz Funeral, Catch Me If You Can, The One, Falling Down, Raspberry Magic, Jarhead, and I Am I.

James and his wife and son are actively involved in charity work, raising money for Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, the Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation and Foundation ThinkAgain, which helps children who are cancer and brain tumor survivor.

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ABOUT THE FILMMAKERS

ALEX RANARIVELO, Director A prolific, visual, and collaborative storyteller, Alex Ranarivelo has directed six feature films for ESX Entertainment since June 2014 (“The Dog Lover”, “American Wrestler”, “Running Wild”, “Pray for Rain”, “Dirt” & “Ride”). He graduated at the top of his class with a B.F.A in film production from Art Center College of Design. His thesis film was a 35mm short film about street racing called “The Last Race”, based on his experiences as a street-racer.

He made his feature debut with a rough-and-tumble romantic comedy from a guy’s perspective: “Alpha Males Experiment” (aka “Knuckle Draggers”). It played at multiple festivals and placed in Best of Fest’s top 10 Comedies of the year. In 2010, Alex’s script “The Girl With No Name” won the GRAND PRIZE at the Slamdance Film Festival Screenwriting Competition and was subsequently optioned by Co-Op Entertainment.

Alex went back to his street-racing roots for his second feature “Born To Race”, a teen action film centered around a father/son story. He co-wrote the script and was hired to direct it. Born To Race was a hit domestically and internationally in the home video market. A rip of the movie showed up on YouTube and got over 7 MILLION VIEWS before being taken down. Alex also directed the sequel, “Born To Race: Fast Track”, starring Brett Davern and Beau Mirchoff of MTV’s “Awkward.”

When producer Ali Afshar first teamed up with executive producer Forrest Lucas to create ESX Entertainment, Alex was brought on to direct their first film, the suspenseful, character-driven “The Dog Lover” (starring James Remar and Lea Thompson). Next came “American Wrestler: The Wizard” which follows a 17-year-old Iranian refugee who becomes the high school wrestling champion against adversity during the Iran hostage crisis of 1980. In this period piece, Alex directed Jon Voight, William Fichtner and discovered newcomers George Kosturos and Lia Marie Johnson. The film won multiple awards on the festival circuit including “Best Picture” and “Best Ensemble” at the Boston Film Festival, the audience award at the Austin Film Festival and the audience award at the Napa Film Festival.

Next came “Running Wild”, where Alex was at the helm of a picturesque, dramatic piece about a California Ranch Socialite poised to lose everything who creates a Prison Rehabilitation Equine Program after finding starving wild horses on her property. Dorian Brown and Jason Lewis go head to head with animal lover Sharon Stone. Tommy Flanagan also stars.

Alex directed Jane Seymour and Paul Rodriguez in “Pray for Rain,” a murder mystery set against the backdrop of the Central California drought. A young girl begins to investigate the suspicious circumstances surrounding her father’s death and discovers that the idyllic farm community of her youth has been replaced by crime and desperation. Newcomer Annabelle Stephenson leads the cast. Nicholas Gonzalez also stars.

He went back to the motorsports world for “Dirt”, his 5th movie with ESX Entertainment. “Dirt” is about a weathered race team owner (Kevin Dillon) who can’t quite get his team to gel when he is asked to take on a kid (newcomer DeRon Horton) from the hood that needs a work furlough to avoid jail time. He reluctantly agrees and the unlikely pair create quite a stir in the redneck sport of short course off road truck racing.

Alex just wrapped production on “Ride”, about a troubled boy from a Neo-Nazi family who is sent to a juvenile detention center after stabbing his dad who ends up being fostered by an interracial couple. Based on the true story of John Buultgens, the young boy overcomes his past and soars into his future on a BMX bicycle.  The film stars Chris Bridges (Ludacris), Sasha Alexander, and newcomer Shane Graham.

  FORREST LUCAS, Executive Producer By any measure Forrest Lucas is an extraordinary presence in U.S. entrepreneurial success stories. Born in Jackson County and raised in Brown and Bartholomew counties in Indiana, Forrest purchased his first truck, a 1948 Ford dump truck powered by a ’55 Thunderbird engine, at the age of 18. Three years later he bought a new 1963 Chevrolet, C-60 series with a 327-cubic-inch gas engine and signed on with Mayflower Moving and Storage, serving as the youngest owner-operator in the fleet.

For the next few years his life consisted of building up his fleet and manhandling his trucks from coast to coast carrying freight one way and furniture the other. But, his maintenance problems caused by the poor quality of available commercial truck lubricants nearly forced him out of business until he began to mix and match and then market his own formulas.

Today Lucas Oil Products, Inc is the world leader of High Performance Lubricants and Problem Solving Additives and produces and markets more than 100 unique products in more than 34 countries around the world, and is growing market by market every year. Today you can purchase Lucas Products in Asia including China, Mongolia, the Philippines, Indonesia and Vietnam; Western Europe including the UK, Ireland, France and Poland; as far south as Australia, Tasmania and New Zealand; throughout Central, North and South America including Mexico, Colombia and Brazil and are currently opening new markets in Africa.

  ALI AFSHAR, Producer Raised in Northern California, Ali Afshar grew up in the green Sonoma Mountains of Petaluma but relocated to Los Angeles to pursue an acting career. He learned from some of the most talented teachers available in Los Angeles and quickly booked principle roles in commercials and movies (credits include Three Kings, He’s Just Not that Into You), which enabled him to pay for tuition at California State University Northridge, from which he graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Environmental Biology.

While pursuing his acting career, Ali also founded Easy Street Motorsports (also known as ESX), an automotive performance and race facility that eventually lead him to race for Subaru of America for over seven years and achieve a certain celebrity racing status. Ali also created the exclusive and highly anticipated “Ali Afshar Signature Series” line of Aston Martin and Subaru vehicles that are sold directly through Subaru and Aston Martin dealerships across the nation. Ali also built the one of a kind, carbon fiber, full tube chassis, 1400HP, all-wheel drive Subaru. This Subaru set the record for the Worlds Quickest and Fastest All Wheel Drive car and the Worlds Fastest Subaru! This Subaru thunders down the 1/4 mile in 7 seconds at over 175 MPH!

In 2014, Ali partnered with Forrest Lucas of the Lucas Oil empire, including the Indianapolis Colts Super Bowl Stadium “Lucas Oil Stadium”, Lucas Cattle and MAV TV, to create a slate of four social issue drama feature films.  This slate included: “The Wrong Side of Right”, filmed in late summer 2014; and “The Wizard”, starring Oscar winner Jon Voight in a story best described “The Karate Kid meets Remember the Titans with a touch of Rocky, which is a heartfelt coming of age story of perseverance in the face of adversity that filmed Summer 2015; “Running Wild” starring Sharon Stone; and “Pray for Rain” starring Jane Seymour.

In 2016 Ali produced “Dirt”, a high-speed action car racing film with heart, and in 2016 he also produced “Ride”, a true story of an underdog and abused young man who became a BMX bicycle world champion.

Ali currently resides in the Hollywood Hills of Los Angeles and is splitting his time between acting, producing, and racing. Stay tuned in for the most updated information from Ali by regularly visiting the following websites: www.aliafshar.com and www.esxproductions.com

  CHRISTINA MOORE, Writer/Producer Christina Moore, known for her success as an actress (HBO “True Blood”, The CW “90210”, The Disney Channel “Jessie”), has recently added writing and producing to her long resume.

“Running Wild” starring Sharon Stone and Tommy Flanagan was released in select theaters and VOD in February 2017. The film is a picturesque, dramatic piece about a Ranch Socialite who after finding wild horses on her property, risks everything to create a Prison Rehabilitation Equine Program. Moore co-penned the movie, produced it and stars as Stone’s evil sister, Jennifer Hutchins.

Moore also co-wrote and co-produced “Pray for Rain” starring Jane Seymour and Paul Rodriguez. The film is a gritty murder mystery set in Central California as it has been ravaged by drought.

Moore has another ESX Entertainment production under her belt called “Dirt.” She produced the film and plays the female lead as wife to Kevin Dillon. “Dirt” is a fun, action film set in the world of off road dirt track racing.  It will be released late 2017.

  PRAY FOR RAIN – Available on DVD July 18 VERTICAL ENTERTAINMENT Presents A Forrest Films and ESX Entertainment Production Film by Alex Ranarivelo Theatrical Release Date: …

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Matilda in OZ - Now headed to Perth and Adelaide 

Did you know that Fresh Flayva doesn’t just stand for flavours in food but also for flayva’s as in what’s cool, hip and happening around the Gold Coast – Brisbane and other parts of the world. The Fresh Flayva girls stepped into the entertainment world by viewing the Australian Day Performance of Matilda the musical at QPAC – Brisbane Cast.

Matilda the musical is inspired by the twisted genius that is Roald Dahl. With the script being written by Dennis Kelley, original songs and music by Tim Minchin, Directed by Mathew Wharcus and with a jaw dropping small but very talented cast truly brings this captivating musical to life.

From the moment you enter the theatre doors you are instantly transported into the fabulous world that is Matilda the Musical. The set is lit up by colourful books that spell out the word Matilda, swings hang from the ceiling. A puzzle of library books join together to make easy and interchangeable, and from the moment the lights dim on the audience and the spotlight hits the stage you are constantly enchanted by the musical masterpiece that revels in the anarchy of child hood, the power of imagination and the inspiring story of a girl who dares to change her destiny.

Now if you are a 90’s kid like my sister and myself you surely know the movie Matilda, about the little kid with horrible parents who is so smart that her intelligence starts to become magic and suddenly she has the ability to move things with her mind. You know the one starring Danny Devito, Rhea Perlman and Mara Wilson.

Matilda the musical sticks to majority of the same themes, the story of the intelligent child who uses the power of imagination, her brain and storytelling to escape from her horrible parents and principal.

The thing that amazes me most about Matilda the musical is that not only are the songs both original and amazing but also the theme of Matilda’s made up story about the Escapologist and the Acrobat and the parallel of the truthful story that is Miss. Honey’s. The other thing that amazes me is how together and amazingly talented the Brisbane cast is. Filled with a majority of young talent it is truly outstanding to see how talented and how polished the Brisbane Matilda cast is.

A few of Matilda the musical stars are;

James Millar: who plays the role everybody loves to hate, Miss. Trunchbull. TRAINING: Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts (WAAPA).THEATRE: Noel and Gertie (Christine Dunstan Productions); Chess: UK Tour(Milton Morrissey); The Ring Cycle (Royal Opera House, Covent Gardens); Martin Short Live (Sydney Opera House); Grey Gardens (The Production Company); 

LoveBites (Whitebox and Onward); BoyBand (Seymour); Floyd Collins, A Little Touch of Chaos (WAAPA); Showstoppers (Luckiest); The Little Dog Laughed(Ensemble Theatre); Gutenberg! The Musical (Neil Gooding Productions); Jerry Springer: The Opera (Sydney Opera House); Lovebites, Return Season(Whitebox/Bite); The Letter (Twelfth Night Theatre); Company (The National Musical Theatre Company); Snugglepot and Cuddlepie (Company B);Floyd Collins(Kookaburra); Oklahoma (TPC); Eureka(Essgee).TELEVISION: Naked: Coral Island (ABC); Home and Away(Seven Network); Water Rats; Police Rescue; The Leaving of Liverpool (ABC); A Country Practice(Seven Network); The Investigators (ABC).FILM: The Eternity Man; The Leaving of Liverpool; Naked: Coral Island.OTHER: AudioBook narrator (Audible); Writer of Lovebites, The Hatpin, A Little Touch of Chaos.Director: Urinetown, Assassins (WAAPA). Finalist Cardiff Voice of Music Theatre; Green Room Award for Best Supporting Actor, Oklahoma!; Short and Sweet Festival Award for Best Actor inBlenderman; Sydney Theatre Awards for Best Cabaret, LoveBites; Sydney Theatre Awards nomination for Best New Australian Work, Hatpin; Green Room Award Nomination for Male Artist in a Leading role in Musical Theatre, Gutenberg! The Musical; Sydney Theatre Award & Glug Award Nomination;Gutenberg; Green Room Award, Best Supporting Actor;Oklahoma; Sydney Cabaret Showcase Award Winner; Winner of the 2016 Helpmann Award for Best Male Actor in a Musical for Matilda The Musical.

Elise McCann: The most loveable character in Matilda, Miss Honey.

TRAINING: Music Theatre, The National Institute of Dramatic Art (NIDA); Larry Moss 16th Street.

THEATRE: Ali in the 10th Anniversary Australian Tour ofMAMMA MIA!(Littlestar); Lucille Ball in the Australian Tour of Everybody Loves Lucy (Luckiest Productions), Janet McGregor in the Australian tour of South Pacific(Opera Australia/Gordon Frost Organisation); The World Premier/Australian Tour ofDoctor Zhivago (Gordon Frost Organisation); Fruma Sarah in the Australian Tour of Fiddler on the Roof (TML Enterprises); Cordelia inFalsettos (Darlinghurst Theatre Company); Florinda inInto The Woods (Victorian Arts Opera); Little Women(Kookaburra Australian National Theatre Company); My Fair Lady (Opera Australia); Camelot (The Production Company); Side By Side By Sondheim (Enda Markey Presents); June in Musical of Musicals (Tryptech Theatre); Imelda Thornton in On The Twentieth Century(Neglected Musicals Australia), Sydney Carlton in It’s a Bird It’s a Plane It’s Superman, (Neglected Musicals Australia).

TELEVISION: Lynne Woolnough in Peter Allen: Not The Boy Next Door(Shine/Network 7).

OTHER WORK INCLUDES: Winner of the 2016 Helpmann Award and winner of the 2015 Sydney Theatre Award for Best Supporting Actress in a Musical for her portrayal of Miss Honey in Matilda The Musical. Performed alongside Stephen Schwartz and Leigh Sales in the concert In Conversations With Stephen Schwartz(Enda Markey Presents); Founder of Oriel Productions and Executive Producer of ‘I Am My Own Wife’ by Doug Wright (Old Fitz Theatre),

but the person the Fresh Flayva girls were most impressed with was the very talented Annabella Cowley, who plays the girl we all have been talking about,MATILDA!

Not only did she have an amazing voice, but this gorgeous 10 year old did a fabulous job staying in character keeping her accent, not only with speaking but even staying in accent whilst singing which is very difficult to do as even more experienced actors struggle with. She is also a very gifted little dancer, and just an all round superstar in the making.

Matilda was such a great musical filled with love, light and mischief, the Fresh Flayva girls thought Matilda the Musical as a whole was one of the best put together musicals they have seen and that is why they rated Matilda the musical a 9 1/ 2 out of 10. L&R :) x

and don’t worry if you missed out on the Brisbane or Melbourne season you can still catch Matilda the musical in Perth and Adelaide as they are headed to Perth on the 28th of Feb.

You can follow Matilda the musical journey on Instagram:

@matildainoz

Facebook at:

https://www.facebook.com/MatildainAustralia/

and online at:

http://au.matildathemusical.com/

L& R x

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Using Music to Regulate and Express Emotions

Graphic & Written by James N. Grey

I think I spent my entire childhood in a depression. And I think I spent all of the depression concurrently with anxiety. I say I think because I was never truly diagnosed, not until I entered my junior year of college. But my diagnosis isn’t new; it’s barely average. It almost feels overdone, actually. And to everyone else in charge, I’m pretty much just a statistic.

I’m alright with being one though because it’s just another way to say that my story is valid. And we should all receive validation for whatever it is that we’re going through, or went through.

And I think that lack of validation is what led me to turn to a lot of digital media, namely music, as a child. And I think that’s how I regulated whatever emotions I did have when alternating between feeling too much (anxiety) and feeling nothing at all (depression). No, I know that’s how I regulated my emotions.

Let me explain: I grew up in a house full of five other kids, three of which were my cousins, and all of our parents, and my grandmother. That’s eleven people in what I would consider a normal-sized house. It was a mother-daughter type home, so each family got a side. That did nothing to stop the rampant arguments and abuse, both physical and emotional.

It was chaotic and hierarchical: my dad and uncle at the top of the food chain, the sons next, the wives after, and the daughters last. I spent my early childhood years, from 3 to 8, being taught my place, so to speak. And from then on, I always knew I’d come out last, and was always put in my place.

But what about the music, you ask. When and where does that come in? Your life story is great, but I didn’t exactly ask for it.

Nah, you didn’t. But I’m gonna tell you anyway. Because it’s important. It’s relevant.

My family’s refusal to acknowledge the horror of the situation they put us all in and my inability to express myself due to my environment pushed me to find acknowledgement and validation in music, as I clearly wasn’t receiving it elsewhere.

I chose music that specifically communicated whatever emotion I was feeling at the moment and used mainly this coping mechanism to regulate my emotions. Studies have shown that people with a tendency toward depression were more likely to listen to sad music (Garrido & Schubert, 2013). Researchers have also found that depressed individuals listened to music more often than non-depressed individuals (Wilhelm et al., 2013).

Unfortunately for me, I also believe I innately had a harder time processing emotions due to being emotionally sensitive. Researchers have found that the temperaments of some children are just more innately capable of self-regulating than others (Schore, 2015). 

And using music to regulate emotions isn’t surprising (Thayer et al., 1994). Studies show that depression is linked with impaired emotional regulation skills (Campbell-Sills et al., 2006). And emotional regulation is defined as pinpointing which emotion you have when you have it and how you express and/or experience that particular emotion (Gross, 2014). Since I couldn’t name what emotion I was feeling, due to my depression caused by my chaotic environment and also possibly by my innate personality, I turned to music to define it for me. This actually led me to almost singularly use music to regulate my emotions, which isn’t bad, but it is when it’s your safest option. 

You’re wondering: Okay… So why didn’t you just find other ways to understand and express your emotions? 

Yeah, here’s the thing, here’s the kicker: based on my culture and religion, I was seen as a product of my father rather than a separate person, so I had to fulfill the requirements of a product. The core of it was this: I had to look like a doll and get good grades so they could improve their honor as a family and be able to sell me off to the highest bidder (another man) for marriage. Experiences and emotions would not increase my monetary value so they were actively snuffed out. 

And when you’re at the bottom of the food chain, you don’t want to get caught doing something you’re not supposed to be doing. The problem is that you don’t always know what’s forbidden. So you don’t want to get caught doing anything. If you do get caught, you’re screwed. Because now that they’ve noticed you, they’re gonna find ways to reinforce pushing you back to the bottom of the food chain/force you into acting like an object and they’re going to gaslight you and invalidate you.

This is how I lived up until I left for college. It was exactly like Daya’s song title, “Sit Still, Look Pretty.” 

BUT!

I knew that I could always get away with looking busy doing schoolwork. And I could totally get away with listening to music with earphones whilst doing so. Because it was quiet and unobtrusive.

So I listened to a lot of sadboi/emo/rock music because I was feeling very sadboi/emo/punk, and this music named what I was feeling and that it was okay to feel that way. Naming anything is half the battle sometimes. 

Although some studies say listening to sad music has a negative effect on emotional states (sad music makes you sadder) (Garrido & Schubert, 2013), there is a recent study that contradicts this finding which happens to be in line with my life experience and anecdotal evidence. This study found that those with depression may be listening to sad music for its calming effects rather than to maintain their sad feelings (Yoon et al., 2020). And that’s definitely what music did for me.

Music made me feel heard. It validated my existence, validated my experiences, and validated my emotions. Music was something that I could always turn to to make me feel safe.

I’ve since learned other coping mechanisms to regulate my emotions: I’ve spent a lot of time with only myself to pinpoint exactly what I’m feeling and noting patterns in how I express those emotions. But I still go back to music, this time with an expanded repertoire of genres and styles so I can express everything, and feel it too, with the freedom to be myself, breaking away from hierarchical constraints. 

Works Cited

Campbell-Sills, L., Barlow, D. H., Brown, T. A., & Hofmann, S. G. (2006). Effects of suppression and acceptance on emotional responses of individuals with anxiety and mood disorders. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 44(9), 1251–1263. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2005.10.001

Garrido, S., & Schubert, E. (2013). Moody melodies: Do they cheer us up? A study of the effect of sad music on mood. Psychology of Music, 43(2), 244–261. https://doi.org/10.1177/0305735613501938

Gross, J. J. (2014). Emotion regulation: Conceptual and empirical foundations. In 

Gross, J. J. (Ed.), Handbook of emotion regulation (2nd ed., pp. 3–20). New 

York, NY: Guildford Press.

Schore, A. N. (2015). Affect Regulation and the Origin of the Self. Taylor & Francis.

Thayer, R. E., Newman, J. R., & McClain, T. M. (1994). Self-regulation of mood: Strategies for changing a bad mood, raising energy, and reducing tension. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 67(5), 910–925. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.67.5.910

Wilhelm, K., Gillis, I., Schubert, E., & Whittle, E. L. (2013). On a Blue Note: Depressed Peoples’ Reasons for Listening to Music. Music and Medicine, 5(2), 76–83. https://doi.org/10.1177/1943862113482143

Yoon, S., Verona, E., Schlauch, R., Schneider, S., & Rottenberg, J. (2020). Why do depressed people prefer sad music? Emotion, 20(4), 613–624. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000573

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Danielle Hollobaugh’s New Christmas EP, “Peace on Earth”

Written by James N. Grey.

Danielle Hollobaugh is no stranger to Christmas music, with Christmas releases dating back to 2016. So it comes to no surprise when she releases another one on November 27, 2020 just in time for the holidays. Peace on Earth is the title track of its namesake, and has addicting electro-pop beats that you just can’t help but want to dance to. It’s a refreshing twist to Christmas music that has normally existed in its own specific genre usually unchanged. 

And Hollobaugh’s powerful vocals complement the beat-filled track, making for a memorable Christmas song experience indeed. When Christmas carols and oft-used classics fail you, this one will come in quite handy. And if you’re looking for some peace in a chaotic time, the rest of the EP definitely delivers.

A soft O Holy Night more vocally focused with gentle synths in the background bring a feeling of closeness and relief. I Made a Wish takes some notes from Peace on Earth but tones it down to the barest of electro-pop. Go Tell it on the Mountain brings that electro-pop back like the title track. All songs feature Hollobaugh’s vocals as reigning supreme, which ties her EP together nicely.

Peace on Earth and its home, Peace on Earth EP, are both out and available now everywhere!

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Tank and The Bangas on “Self Care” and their new EP, “Friend Goals”

Written by James N. Grey. Photo by Jamelle Tate. 

Tank and The Bangas are a raucous crowd in their press conference. They bust out laughing often—it’s like you’re at a party and the party isn’t stopping any time soon. The only time the party reaches seriousness is when Tarriona Ball, affectionately known as “Tank,” shushes the men sitting around her good-naturedly so they can all answer the questions. One of the members is eating soup in the corner of the screen—and I can’t help but feel how right this all is, how casual.

Tank and the Bangas are talking about their new single, Self-Care, and their brand new EP release, Friend Goals. This is what Self-Care promotes: “Nobody else, but myself,” and having to be in quarantine with only your walls and floors and picture frames to keep you company. It’s loneliness, self-proclaimed and self-administered: “All of ya’ll can get way back.” And of course, we can’t forget the multiple nods to weed. The flute with off-colored strings brings together Tank’s wonderful slam poetry and singing style, so the track hits just right.

Most of the Friend Goals EP was recorded online to abide by quarantine rules, but I daresay that those were the only rules followed. Coming from New Orleans’ big and enchanting music scene, Tank and The Bangas pulled mostly the vibe of the culture but mixed everything else they felt necessary with it. The songs lean into spoken poetry, rap, trap, soul, and jazz—it’s hard to pin down the incongruently congruent work of sounds and force them into a genre. So the best thing to do is to call them artists with the people, for the people, having fun. 

“The reason it’s called ‘Friend Goals’ is because it’s a collaboration with all of our friends,” Tank says, and it makes sense: all the songs have features from artists such as PJ Mortin, CHIKA, and Duckwrth. Norman adds, “Every song had a purpose or started from an organic space,” and the band explains how each song was based on a personal experience. The band’s penchant for storytelling throughout their songs makes those personal experiences feel like our own.

As for where they want to go next, Tank and The Bangas say they’d like to experiment with more sounds – horns were a popular callout—and perhaps work on a country song.  I know, because of their genre-mixing prowess, that I’d be willing to listen to anything they’d release. But for now, I’m vibing with Friend Goals.

Self-Care and Friend Goals is out now and available everywhere on your favorite streaming platforms.

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Carmén DeLeon on her debut single, “Volverás”

Written by James N. Grey.

It’s September 23, 2020, and I’m expecting to join a regular press conference on Zoom for an artist. It’s not a regular one at all. Instead, on the screen, a bright Carmén DeLeon appears, and she’s ecstatic. That’s her default setting. And I’ve realized, with growing excitement, that she lives her life as ecstatically as mine. I already know it’s going to be a good press conference.

Carmén’s energy throughout the conference never wanes, not once. She is unapologetically honest and delightful in her interactions and her answers. Carmén is forthcoming and spends time on each question, regarding its importance to the asker, and spends time creating a connection with whom she’s speaking. She says, “I’m an open book. I’m really transparent. Whatever you ask me, I’m going to answer with [full] honest[y].” I assure you, she delivers. It’s rare for a pop star, even a new, young, and glowing one, to combine such zest and honesty, where fitting in often seems to matter the most. It’s especially relieving.

She talks about working with Tainy, a Puerto Rican record producer and songwriter, and she totally fangirls (as I would!) She recounts how she chose her single, explaining that she tried to obtain Tainy’s attention from across the room. He was wearing headphones, of course unable to hear her, so she traipsed across the room and pulled off his headphones. Her immediate response to her own actions (in her head of course): “Carmén, why, why are you like this?!”

And that energy is apparent in Volverás, although the vibe is slightly different. In the new single, she sings about a lover who always comes back with the same story, every time. But the music video focuses on glamorous shots of Carmén DeLeon dancing and having fun with friends on the numerous sets. The single effuses no heartbreak but a straightforward desire to break that cycle and the beat pulses us toward movement. I wanted to get up and move my hips (and it made me miss going out to dance but at least I can still dance to this in my living room!)

Carmén DeLeon is an artist to watch for: unapologetic and honest. And she has great vibes. We had a great short conversation about the woes of skincare and the difficulty of finding others as effusive as ourselves. After speaking with her, I felt I connected with her in those few minutes as an up-and-coming artist.

And, as a special treat, Carmén played an acoustic version of Volverás for us at the end of the conference!

Her single, Volverás, is out everywhere on your favorite streaming platforms!

Spotify | Apple Music

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Women Crush Wednesday Spotlight: katie MAC

Written by James N. Grey.  Edited by Maryam Ragheb. 

Hailing from Nashville, though originally from Kansas, katie MAC writes about chasing serotonin in her most recent single release, Self Sabotage. She “keeps goin’ and goin’ and goin’.” This single comes fresh on the heels after her earlier successful single, Till It Hurts, on which she ekes out a desire for real love. 

Melding these themes with her bubble-gum pop sound rounded out with edgy, dance-y beats, katie MAC establishes a strong base for her upcoming works. Her anticipated EP’s lyrics center on relationships and discuss her self-development. Self Sabotage is the kind of song you listen to over and over; the hook catching you off guard until it’s 3 AM and you’re wondering whether you should call that ex who showed you real love. And then you don’t call them because you don’t want to get caught in that same pattern again. (But not before going through that pattern at least twice. Trust me, I would know and so would katie).

katie MAC’s sharp lyricism is what drives her work, which will have you contemplating and questioning while you’re on the dance floor—or the bedroom floor. Her words are sincere but potent—cutting to the point and reaching the core questions. She writes from experience, so each track pulls from interactions she’s had with others. Doing so makes her work relatable, and she connects with her fans in a truthful and honest way. Her tracks provide insights into her own life as an artist, and I appreciate that. It’s honestly real nice to have others understand what you’re going through.

Tears Like Glitter, her debut album released in June 2019, amassed over 500K streams in a short time, and her total roster generated over a quarter-million streams. katie MAC has set herself up as formidable songstress and staked a claim in the pop world, especially after hearing her recent pop tune. I definitely can’t wait for her EP to hear what she wants to share. What can I say? The sharp hooks stick and the lyrics reach the core. Who would say no to that?

Go stream Self Sabotage now!

Spotify | Apple Music |

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Anna Sofia on her recent release, Broken Perfection.

Written by James N. Grey.

At 16-years-old, Anna Sofia is already well on her way in crafting her own sound: traditional instrumentals with a young voice evoking nostalgia for all the things of youth. In a press conference led by the °1824 team in early August, we heard all about her new EP, Broken Perfection, released July 31, including what inspired it.

Because it’s 2020 and we’re all in quarantine, the press conference is through Zoom and everything has a homey feel to it that only serves to add to the EP’s vibe. I, myself, am down at a shore house, feeling time slow down, and tuning in. Sofia wears a zip-up hoodie with a cat eye look and has playfully messy hair that’s almost reminiscent of what I imagine the visuals of her song, Chill, which talks about “feelin’ what [she’s] feelin,’” would be. And Chill is one of the most low-key songs on the EP; the title track has more density and tension to it, especially because it’s about the dichotomy of falling in and out of love. But she puts a very “retro-funk” spin on it “in a modern space.” That makes sense, considering, her “three biggest inspirations are Queen, Elton John, and Michael Jackson.”

And Anna reveals her inspiration early on in the conference. She takes us through what inspires her to write as well, remarking, “I talk about my day, I talk about my week, what’s going on, how I’m feeling,” and connects that to a musical vibe where, “if [she’s] feelin’ kinda sad, weirdly enough, [she’ll] make it really happy.” This definitely shines through in Happy For You, a song in which Sofia relates her dual feelings for a person she likes who likes someone else. She states, “You talk about her like she’s everything / and I guess that makes me fuck off” but the song’s sound is so uplifting that it doesn’t feel as if she entirely means it.

And because Happy For You, has a lyric video, I got to ask her what her inspiration behind the visuals was! She explained how her, “different hair looks kind of represented the times that [she had] changed for this person. [She] always tried to do things for that person to like [her].” But it stemmed from her quarantine hobby of dyeing her hair various different colors. This ties in well with her EP cover, as her face cracks into something almost mask-like, reminding us that there’s something underneath the choices we make: a relatable person, and here, it’s a high-school girl living her life. Her advice is “don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t try to please anyone. Just do your thing.” It clearly resonates with her song Don’t Play Pretend, my personal favorite off of her EP specifically because of the guitar, and I think it’s pretty wise.

Broken Perfection is available now wherever you stream music!

Spotify | Apple Music | Pandora | Tidal

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stef Talks Fashion and Music

Written by Pablo. Graphic by James Nida Grey. 

Relationships have their natural progression of ebbs and flows. Pop singer and fashion enthusiast stef, details that experience on her brand-new EP A Glitch in Our Reality. We spoke with stef about writing music from outside her own experience, where she gets her best ideas from and how she plans to incorporate her love for fashion into her music career.

So, you grew up in Alabama in the church? Was it Southern Baptist?

Yes, I am from Alabama. So, thankfully the church I went to was Methodist at first and then non-denominational, so it was more contemporary, but my dad and grandparents grew up southern Baptist. I feel like it’s a common thing in the south. And I got my start in music by leading worship.

How old were you when you started leading worship?

I started leading worship in middle school and the church I went to has a younger church specifically for middle school and high school kids. My dad was super involved in the worship team and I would go to practices with him when I was younger. Once I got to high school, I started leading worship for “big” church.

What was it like telling your parents you wanted to pursue music professionally?

My parents were super supportive, and I actually went through a big theater phase in high school. Then at the same time I started coming up to Nashville and writing country singer songwriter type of music in high school and someone I was working with told me I should try to pursue music professionally. I really thought about it because I didn’t want to go to a four-year school for college anyways and my parents said yes and told me to move to Nashville and pursue music. I didn’t even consider it because growing up in the South this is traditionally frowned upon.

You’ve released three song EPs before, what is the biggest difference between that and your newest EP A Glitch in Our Reality?

I think you can see my songwriting is stronger on the new EP. The sounds on this EP are more experimental but also, we tried to cater to everyone. There are some mainstream pop songs some, some quirky songs as well. But mostly, I think overall you can tell the growth in me as an artist.

Were you trying to make music that everyone could resonate with?

At first no, but then when I was trying to concept this EP together and figure out what parts of the puzzle were missing because I had a few songs and I’m such a concept person. I was thinking like, how can I make this into a story, then I decided I wanted specific songs and an intro and outro track and it all sort of came together. I don’t think it was intentional but as it evolved it became this project.

The EP description says that this is a concept project, and every song title is a sentence that comes together to form a paragraph, how’d you come up with that idea?

My mind works in very different ways. When I write I don’t really write from my own experiences I might write from a friend’s experience, but I don’t write from a place where if I’m feeling sad one day, I have to write a sad song. I just pull from other parts of my life and the world. So, when I write I see scenes when someone’s building a track like oh why does this feel like someone’s opening a glass screen door and walking out to a pool deck? We try to incorporate that into the music.

Are you one of those people who gets their best ideas from a specific place? Like the shower?

I literally just wrote a verse in a song about this! I definitely get my best ideas in the shower. When I drive, and don’t feel like I have to entertain someone and I’m alone, I don’t listen to music. I just like to listen to the road. I get some ideas when I’m sleeping or when I wake up. My mind is just always in a creative space.

Are you ever able to turn off that creativity?

I can’t and that is my problem. My mind is constantly running. I think I get anxious some days, but it doesn’t bother me. It only runs wild when I’m by myself. When I’m around people I’m able to focus on that and be engaged.

How did you gain a following on TikTok for your fashion sense? How do you juggle your music career and your fashion aspirations?

Juggling it is hard. I never want people to say, “she’s a fashion influencer or she’s a musician.” I want people to say, “oh she’s a musician with sick ass outfits, like Dua Lipa.” And I want to collaborate with these people. I feel like people like Beadabadoobee juggles working with designers and being a musician well. I had a YouTube channel in high school and would vlog my thrifting hauls, I’ve been into fashion. Then at the beginning of quarantine everyone encouraged me to get on TikTok, so I did. I was testing out content and the fashion content resonated the most with people so I kind of stuck with it. But I’m trying to find a way to integrate my music into that content so that TikTok pushes it to more people’s For You page and more people see it.

Circling back to your music, what do you want people to take away from this EP?

Since it’s a concept, it represents a life cycle of a relationship. From infatuation, to the switch when you feel like something has changed, to the time period where you’re still in the relationship but it’s become toxic and then the break-up and feeling lonely but still wanting them, to an empowerment anthem with Here’s What We’re Not Gonna Do with look back and reminiscing to the outro where you’re good again but in a different way than when the album began. I want people to know their worth and not allow toxic people to run their lives anymore and live rent free. Know your worth and be confident. I know that’s a cliché thing for me to say but I’m such a positive person I want other people to be positive too.

Keep up with stef | Instagram | Spotify | Twitter | TikTok

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Me, Taylor, and The Search for Musical Legitimacy

Written by Lila Danielsen-Wong. Graphic by James Nida Grey.

As a child, whenever I took art classes, they were full of girls. I took group piano lessons with four other girls from my neighborhood. Any theatre I was involved in casted regardless of gender because there were never enough boys to fit a show. My middle school orchestra was about three quarters girls. 

It came as a shock that when I started getting involved in any songwriting I could do, I was suddenly in the minority. The few all-ages open mics I could go to were set up by dad-types and primarily populated by their friends of the same demographic. Teenage rock band-type boys dominated the non-classical learning spaces. 

However, this isn’t about them, this is about me, Lila Danielsen-Wong, a girl you’ve probably never heard of, and a girl you probably have heard of. Her name is Taylor Swift.

In 2010, I was a sixth-grade latchkey kid who spent a whole lot of time watching music videos on YouTube. Taylor Swift had just released her third studio album, Speak Now. Although many girls my age had been enchanted by Fearless, I was a pretentious and precocious preteen who was resistant to popular things, and was much more interested in niche Boston folk singer-songwriters like Antje Duvekot and Lori McKenna. 

However, niche Boston folk singer-songwriters don’t really make lots of YouTube content geared at middle schoolers, so the YouTube recommendations led me from my folk corner, to The Band Perry, to a song called White Horse. 

This snowballed into me listening to every Taylor Swift song on Youtube, to learning to play the piano chords to each of them, to writing complete songs of my own. Although I’d been writing simple piano melodies for years, songwriting now occupied every corner of my brain in nearly every free moment. When I learned Dear John, I decided it didn’t sound as good on piano, so I decided I needed to play it on guitar. I snuck into my mother’s room and learned to play an E chord. Soon, all I did was practice guitar and write songs. I wanted to write like she did, to articulate my feelings as well as she did, so precisely that everyone who listened understood not only me, but themselves better. However, I was not ready to publicly be someone who listened to Taylor Swift. Occasionally a YouTube comment would remove me from Taylor world and remind me “All of her fans are teenage girls.” At eleven I didn’t have the words or the context to understand why that so briskly discredited her. I knew it was an insult, and I knew it was an insult that worked. 

Flash forward two years, I was one of the youngest writers at a summer songwriter lab geared toward teens that one of the local theatres held yearly. Remember the rock boys I was talking about? This is when we became acquainted. We had just come back from writing songs in our randomly assigned groups. I had a hard time contributing, being a not-quite-high-schooler who’d never tried co-writing. One of the older girls was talking to the rock boys and I remember the conversation word for word. One of the rock boys asked her how the session went. She responded “eh, it was all girls,” to which the boy said “mine too, a lot of just-singer girls, you know cause of like, Taylor Swift.” They laughed and went on to complain about the younger songwriter girls who “don’t even know what they were doing.”

The conversation they were having, “Taylor Swift, a frivolous girly artist, is encouraging frivolous girls to come into our serious artist spaces and making them frivolous,” stuck with me through my teen years, and it wasn’t until recently that I started to understand. Taylor Swift found success because she could connect with girls like me, and I found my absolute favorite thing, my life calling, because of Taylor Swift; but Taylor Swift was being discredited because of me, and I was being discredited because of Taylor Swift. 

In older interviews, Taylor talks about how after the first time she went to Nashville to pitch herself to labels, she heard nothing. So she decided she needed to be different, and that’s when she started writing songs. At that moment, I realized that I was going to have to be (crucify me) “not like other girls” if I wanted to be taken seriously or have my ideas heard. The next day I came back to the young songwriters lab with my viola instead of my guitar, and managed to finesse my way into playing on nearly half the songs in the showcase. 

I don’t need a list of MLA cited sources to explain that art geared to girls and young women is dismissed. It is not a hot take to say that art created by young women is often instantly devalued. Taylor Swift wrote music about girls and young women for girls and young women, and she didn’t have much interest in being a sex symbol. Not that there’s anything wrong with female artists who use their sexuality, but Taylor Swift gave the men who gate-keep musical legitimacy nothing they wanted from her. Still, she wrote Speak Now with no co-writers before she was old enough to legally drink. She followed it up with Red, a diverse transition album that showed off her songwriting range. 1989 broke records, started an 80’s pop revival and seamlessly transitioned her into pop. Taylor Swift was everywhere, and yet I heard the same things echo. 

“She isn’t a real artist because she only writes about relationships.” 

“Her audience is just rabid fans who don’t know anything about real music.”

“She’s just a pop star who won’t stand the test of time.”

I spent the tail end of 2015 writing songs that emulated the rhythmic lyrics of 1989, but if anyone asked who my musical influences were, I’d often omit her and stick with niche Boston folk singer-songwriters. Me and my music were not going to get pegged as a naive and shallow fangirl.

It was my freshman year of college. I was at my local state school because I couldn’t really afford to go to any of the music programs I wanted to go to, when I ran into a friend who I knew from the songwriting labs. She invited me to the guitar club that she ran, and of course I went. Although the rock boys weren’t the majority numbers wise, they dominated the room. They asked about my beat up Guild guitar. Impressed with how I inherited it from a rocker guy my dad works with, they encouraged me to play a song. I pulled out my most meticulously crafted coming-of-age ballad, and let them hear my line, “we’re all cynics and romantics, it’s semiotics and semantics,” to which they responded “cute song.” 

With the release of Folklore and Evermore, there’s been a shift. After teaming up with Aaron Desner of the National and Bon Iver, Taylor got a bit of that male approval that she never really needed. Pitchfork commented, with surprise, that Folklore showed “some real signs of maturity.” Each album that an artist releases should probably be more mature than the last. Surprise at lyrical maturity from a 30-year-old songwriter who penned lines like “you come away with a great little story of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you” as a teen, comes across a little underhanded. 

Much of the next generation of musicians have been influenced by Taylor. Conan Grey’s TikTok hit Heather was based on Last Kiss. Rising it-girl Olivia Rodrigo is a hardcore fan. Even Phoebe Bridgers, who has been memed as “Taylor Swift for girls with crumbs in their beds” or “Taylor Swift for people whose parents still love each other” lists Taylor Swift as an influence. Although this new shift is one for Taylor Swift and not a change in the ingrained biases against women and their art, I wonder if it’s going to trickle down to the artists she influenced. 

My favorite line in Evermore, Swift’s latest studio album ft. sad dad rock, comes in the second verse of Coney Island. In this song, Matt Berninger of The National slides in and out, singing lines in less predictable blocks than in other Swift collaborations. Together, Swift and Berninger coo “do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there/will you forgive my soul when you’re too wise to trust me and too old to care.” It’s funny to hear one of the world’s biggest superstars share a line so monumental to the album. I wonder if it’s because she knows how much louder it will be when a man is holding up the low ends. 

[girlsbtrs]

Mental Health Matters

Written by Aja Landolfi. Graphic by James Nida Grey.

The month of May is the time of year when the weather starts to gets nicer, flowers start to bloom, and the days start to become longer. May is also Mental Health Awareness month. From anxiety to depression, bipolar disorder to schizophrenia, OCD to PTSD, eating disorders to addiction and substance abuse, mental health issues affect many people worldwide. In the U.S. alone, nearly one in five adults live with some form of a mental illness.

For someone who suffers from some form of mental health problems, they may sometimes feel like they are alone and like no one understands them or what they are going through. Turning to music is one way people try to cope with these feelings. Many artists have been open with their mental health struggles and have poured their heart and soul into the songs they sing to let their listeners know the struggles they have also faced and that listeners are never alone.

Demi Lovato - Sober & Dancing With The Devil

Being very open with her struggles with addiction and substance abuse, Demi Lovato has used her music as an outlet to voice these struggles. Demi has been very open with her fans about her addiction and substance abuse issues from the start. She has shared her story of going to rehab and even how she did not stay sober for long after her first time out. She had even gone so far as to share her near-death experience of when she overdosed in July of 2018. Releasing her song Sober in June of 2018, it was Demi’s confessional to facing her past and present relapses and how she was no longer sober after six years. A month later, Demi overdosed, and fans get a glimpse into what it was like and what she was going through in one of her newest songs, Dancing With The Devil.

Julia Michaels & Selena Gomez - Anxiety

The song Anxiety highlights the struggle that anxiety places relationships and how people who do not have it may not fully understand it and or what someone who suffers from anxiety goes through. Julia has been very open about her struggle with anxiety and how she knows what it feels like to be invited out somewhere, then not want to go about and being upset because everyone else is having fun and she’s not. This song is also very personal for Selena Gomez, who has been very open in the past about the treatment she has sought out for help with her depression and anxiety.

Maggie Lindemann - Would I

Maggie Lindemann is another artist who has been open with her struggles of depression and anxiety. In an interview, she said that she went through a dark patch, and she wrote the song Would I about contemplating the inner demons people face and how the song is about feeling helpless and wanting a way out.

Paramore - Fake Happy

Fake Happy is the song to listen to for anyone who feels that they have to fake what they are feeling and who feels they have to hide the fact that they are suffering from any form of mental health problems. Paramore uses the song to note that the stigma around mental health needs to be broken. The song portrays how people who have mental health issues should feel comfortable showing their true emotions and not masking them because of the stigma.

All of the artists on this playlist have written about the form of mental health issues they face and the struggle and toll it takes on them. This openness is paving the way to help break the stigma surrounding mental health and is hopefully a comfort to listeners to know they are not alone in their struggles. Remember, it is ok not to be ok sometimes, and it is ok to reach out for help if needed.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to:

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

RAINN, 1-800-656-4673

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Nina Simone and the Female Musicians Fight to Freedom

Written by Ella Jarrard. Graphic by James Nida Grey. 

In 1970, Nina Simone spoke of being free. Without an ounce of bemusement, Simone looks into the eyes of the interviewer, tips her body forward, and successfully enchants both him and the audience instantly - and she knows it. 

“Freedom, to me, is no fear”

Her hypnotizing nature is her singular accomplice, and her words, delivered through the melodic rasp which made her a star; stick to you.

She’s almost as puzzling as her late performances- she’s an apparition of grace, fury and soul wrapped up into a perfect package that intends to unsettle you. Freedom is no fear, obviously- but what was Ms. Simone really alluding to? 

The concept of freedom is beguiling. One hears it constantly- through the misplaced megaphone in the hands of a ‘patriot’, through the calculated speech of politicians, through the perplexing prose of philosophers.  However, the concept of freedom was not lost on Ms. Simone, nor was it lost on Sinead O’Connor, or countless female musicians, women who knew the definition of freedom only because they had to constantly fight for it.

What separates the politicos and philosophers from the women in music in their search for freedom, is intention. 

Ms. Nina Simone fought for freedom constantly, in all spheres, from the day she was born. A gifted, classically trained pianist, Simone’s parents could only view her talent from the back of the segregated church when she played as a young girl, because of their race. She protested this injustice, refusing to play until her parents retained their deserving seating arrangement - a prelude to her work fighting racial prejudice throughout her life. 

Mississippi Goddamn is arguably Ms. Simone’s most prolific response to growing injustice within the United States against Black people, and her first published commentary. A response to the senseless murder of Medgar Evers, Mississippi Goddamn would later accompany Ms. Simone on her march from Selma to Montgomery. Inch by inch, Simone reached for a freedom from oppression that would seldom come. 45’s of Mississippi Goddamn were returned back to Simone crushed to pieces by a Southern radio station. 

Simone was later isolated from the United States after her more ‘radical’ protest terminology she delivered while living in Africa was ill received. Simone was screaming, constantly screaming- through her revolutionary musical talent or her stunningly intelligent commentary on civil rights- she was screaming to be heard. Disguised only by her voice - a velvety, soul awakening sound, one impossible to replicate, Simone screamed for freedom to be deservingly dealt. Was Ms. Simone ever really free? No. She wasn’t. 

Irish singer Sinead O’Connor faced her own form of Backlash Blues.

O’Connor famously took the stage on SNL as a musical guest in 1990 at the height of her fame. With a wide stance, complete with her piercing eyes and shaved head, Sinead ripped a photo of the Pope on live television. She sang an acapella version of Bob Marley’s War, replacing the words “racism” with “child abuse”, to protest sexual abuse of children within the Catholic Church. “Fight the real enemy” she said, proceeding to blow the torn shreds into the camera. The executive producer of SNL later said Sinead’s performance “took the air out of the room”. Silence, a forgotten friend within the SNL studio, blanketed over the audience like a deep fog. The network reportedly received 4,000 complaint calls after the incident, but Sinead stood by her protest then and stands by it now. Regardless, the backlash was astronomical. Of course, her proclamation was true, and soon after, tremendous amount of allegations of sexual abuse by high clergy members of the Roman Catholic Church poured in. 

O’Connor traded truth for fame that day.

Here we reach the dreaded point - introspection. Let’s really think. 

While the misogynoir that Nina Simone faced is incomparable to the religious backlash faced by Sinead O’Connor, they are worth observing independently in order to dissect the reactions these women received towards their art; versus those of male artists who would be seen as equally controversial yet much more celebrated.

Nina Simone challenged the societal and governmental institutions who systematically preyed upon Black people and people of color. She spoke of the immorality of the Vietnam War. She spoke of inequality. Creedence Clearwater Revival’s smash hit, Fortunate Son, offers a rhythmic commentary on the Vietnam War, on the disparities between the rich “senator's son” and the average young American boy sent to fight overseas. John Foherty sings with his wonderful rasp “It ain't me! I ain't no fortunate one!”. Except perhaps he was. While Simone fought against bigotry to have her music and her voice heard, CCR suffered little. Their song, Fortunate Son, arguably equally “controversial”- sent them to the top of the charts and secured them a spot in music history. Simone lost her fame, her voice and ultimately - her chance at living free. 

Sinead O’Connor challenged the Roman Catholic Church, or more particularly, the Irish Catholic clergy. She took a stand against a long standing institution and insulted its head. The Sex Pistols got their start after releasing their hit- “God Save The Queen”, ultimately questioning the realness of the Queen herself, shouting “The fascist regime made you a moron!” While punk is rooted in expected controversy, they still achieved worldwide fame and again, a place in music history. Sinead O'Connor did similarly, and lost everything. Although Sinead O’Connor’s ultimate downfall could be attributed to several different factors, it was arguably the ‘backlash blues’ regarding her protest that caused the young woman’s career to gradually deteriorate. 

In Backlash Blues, a poem by Langston Hughes that Simone later sang, she targets her protest onto Mr. Backlash, the dealing hand of injustice. 

Mr. Backlash - whether he takes his form within prejudicial communities or misogynistic audiences - is quite a picky fellow. No, as you may have guessed, Mr. Backlash does not stomp on the careers of male dominated bands, nor on the throats of outspoken male musicians. 

Mr. Backlash revels precisely in the feeling of extinguishing the misunderstood intention of the strong, bright eyed woman who simply wants to make a change. 

He loves to shut the door to freedom. 

In 1967, Nina Simone spoke of being free. Through her song, I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel to Be Free, she delivers an astounding plea for the freedom she would continue to beg for. With the same spellbinding ferocity as she had in 1970, she implores you for freedom.

“Though I’m long overdue”, she says, and with that simple sentence she writes my conclusion for me. 

Freedom for female musicians is long overdue. 

It’s time to defeat Mr. Backlash. 

[girlsbtrs]

Growing up Alongside Billie Eilish

Written by Elise O’Leary. Graphic by James Nida Grey. 

I’m currently listening to Billie Eilish’s debut EP dont smile at me to inspire some of the words in this article. I first listened to ocean eyes on Soundcloud in 2016, back when I was obsessed and had the time to constantly search for new music by small artists. I heard this song and couldn’t stop repeating it. I was entranced by the soft vocals and piano. When more songs came out over time, I still was just as addicted. I saw her at the 9:30 club in 2018 and fell in even deeper. 

As I’ve grown, fandom culture and myself have mostly parted ways, but still every day I’m still impressed with Billie. What has perhaps impressed me most so far is her latest single Your Power and her Vogue cover and interview that came out alongside it. 

The first thing that catches your eye is the cover. Many people have perceived Eilish as the singer in an oversized hoodie and baggy shorts, usually with designer emblems and big rings and chains. For the first time, I saw an Eilish that I felt like I didn’t recognize and my first thought was “Yessssss”, because she’s showing us once again that you can’t fit her into a box, you can’t assume her to be one way or another, and to see her artistry displayed visually is always jaw dropping. I immediately clicked on the article to read it, to hear her confidence radiate through her words and what she has to say about the outfits she wore. 

“It’s all about what makes you feel good. If you want to get surgery, go get surgery. If you want to wear a dress that somebody thinks that you look too big wearing, f**k it – if you feel like you look good, you look good,” - her words are now ringing in my ears, even though I didn’t even hear her say them. 

“Suddenly you’re a hypocrite if you want to show your skin, and you’re easy and you’re a slut and you’re a whore. If I am, then I’m proud. Me and all the girls are hoes, and f**k it, y’know? Let’s turn it around and be empowered in that. Showing your body and showing your skin – or not – should not take any respect away from you.” I’m 19, the same age as Eilish. Hearing that quote made me so emotional and the feeling was so raw. When I was in high school, and even now, hearing these words was not something I knew I needed. It doesn’t sound eloquent or preachy, which I know so many of us are so sick of hearing. I’ve heard so many older people in my life preach to me about being comfortable in my skin and women’s empowerment, but I never really believed it because my life felt so different from theirs. But someone my age speaking my language, cussing and sharing their own experiences; I am starting to understand it now. 

The article is also about her new era dawning upon us. The longtime theory of Eilish’s hair being covered by a wig was finally confirmed when she posted the reveal on Instagram on March 17th, a seemingly random Wednesday. It was panic mode for her entire fandom, they knew what was imminent, a big announcement for a new album.

I’m now listening to her new song Your Power. “It’s an open letter to people who take advantage – mostly men,” Eilish describes. I’m sure everyone is curious if it’s her own situation she’s describing in her lyrics, but I don’t think that’s what’s important. She addresses that aspect by saying “I would like people to listen to me. And not just try to figure out who I’m talking about, because it’s not about that. It’s really not at all about one person. You might think, ‘It’s because she’s in the music industry’ – no, dude. It’s everywhere.” 

The message is the most important thing to take away from the song. The seemingly simplistic and soft tone reminds me of how gentle my teen years have been. Mostly unaware of how the world around me works, my biggest problems are my grades and friendships. When teachers take an interest in you or you have an Instagram scammer DM you claiming to be a sugar daddy that will just give you free money, you feel a little special. Eilish may be talking about more extreme cases like grooming and extreme predatory behavior, but no matter how big or small the problem may be for one individual, it very much exists. Like I said, being a teenager and having a generally altered perception of the world, it is so unfair to be taken advantage of. “People forget that you can grow up and realise shit was f**ked up when you were younger.” This song almost feels like a call to action or an attempt to spread awareness. Who better to hear it from than someone who has been under the public eye since she was 14 years old? It is a damning and powerful song. It is shameful that some people need to hear this, to not take advantage of the most vulnerable population of the world. 

Eilish often holds a tremendous amount of weight on her shoulders, being constantly scrutinized for her looks and subject matter, is she being too political? Not political enough? Too much skin, or too little? With her time in the pandemic she wrote an album, and I have a feeling that Happier Than Ever is going to showcase a personal and social journey unlike any other seen before. 

*All quotes are taken from “‘It’s All About What Makes You Feel Good’: Billie Eilish On New Music, Power Dynamics, And Her Internet-Breaking Transformation” by Vogue Magazine

[girlsbtrs]

Fearlessly Taylor: Owning Her Work One Re-recorded Album At A Time

Written by Aja Landolfi. Graphic by James Nida Grey.

Releasing her first single, Tim McGraw, back in 2006, Taylor Swift quickly rose to fame as an American pop and country singer/songwriter. Like most endeavors, though, her rise to stardom has not come without its fair share of challenges.

From Kanye West interrupting her win for the best female video at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, to her feud with Spotify to pay artists the royalties they deserve in 2014, to constantly having to defend and prove herself as a woman who does more than “date men to write hits,” Taylor has never been afraid to push back against the critics.

Her latest undertaking against the music industry - wanting to own what belongs to her and make sure other artists do not face the same dilemma.

From 2006 to 2018, Taylor was under contract with Big Machine Label Group. Under this contract, she wrote her first six albums; Taylor Swift, Fearless, Speak Now, Red, 1989, and Reputation. In 2018, the contract came to an end and with it, so did her rights to her recording masters. 

For any 15-year-old, signing a music contract is complex, and most don’t understand exactly what terms they agree to 100%. Taylor was no different. When signing the contract at the start of her career, she didn’t realize that Big Machine Label Group owned the rights to her recording masters. When having to decide to resign or not, she realized that if she continued to work with Big Machine Label Group, she would be stuck in an endless loop trying to earn back the rights to her masters. For every new album she released with the group, she would get the rights to one of her old masters in return. Not wanting to get stuck in this continuous loop, Taylor decided to sign with a new label, Republic Records, instead, where she made sure her new contract stated that she owned her recording masters to all her work to come.

For an artist, owning your recording masters is extremely important.

A masters is the official recording of a song, sound, or performance. 

It is the source from which all later copies are made and whoever owns the rights to them has the right to license out the recordings and collect royalties off of them. Deciding to leave Big Machine led to Taylor having to leave the rights to the recording masters for her first six albums behind and losing her power to say where and how her music is used, and she could not perform her old songs live.

The real issue lies in the fact that, according to Taylor, she never got the chance to buy the rights to her recording masters back herself. Instead, the CEO of Big Machine Label Group, Scott Borchetta, sold them to the CEO of Ithaca Holdings, Scooter Braun, who then turned around and sold them to Shamrock Capital. Everyone else who wanted her masters seemed to get them, except Taylor herself. 

Taylor’s solution to this? Re-record her first six albums. 

She will start with her first five albums while she waits for her re-recording contract for Reputation to come to an end in November of 2022. Doing so will diminish the values of the originals, so the companies who have purchased them will not capitalize on them nearly as much as they expected, but it will also give Taylor the rights to her recording masters for these new versions of songs.

Taylor released her first of the six re-recorded albums, Fearless (Taylor’s Version), on April 9. Taylor kept pretty close to the original during this release, only changing a few noticeable instrumentals here and there and having a more mature voice. For many longtime fans, this means they get to relive the nostalgia of the Fearless era all over again, with a new perspective of having lived life and being more grown-up now. But that’s not all Taylor also included six extra songs on her version that never made the original Fearless cut back in 2008.

Proving everyone wrong, Fearless (Taylor’s Version) hit #1 on the U.S. Apple Music charts and on the Billboard 200 as well.

While Taylor is fearlessly pushing the industry norms, let this be a lesson to new artists to make sure you own the rights to your work, recording masters included.

Listen to Fearless (Taylor’s Version) out now!

Spotify | Apple Music