#janey going rogue
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that-girl-from-nicu · 2 months ago
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Saving the Saviour - Part 7
Oh, Baby!
Song for this episode: Those Eyes by New West
About this episode: sad boi holds a baby and then wants a baby and then tries to make a baby.
A/N: its a bit wordy, I'm sorry. Got carried away building a scene which was truly useless but here we are.
Warnings: NICU baby mentioned (23 weeker). Single mom suggestion. Medical procedures related to preemies. Suggestions of neurological or physical disability. 3 orgasms. Robby wants a baby. Unprotected sex (wrap it up unless you actively want a crotch goblin). These two always fall asleep after sex and I will never apologise for it. Never. Smut is at the end for those who only want that bit (hard relate some days).
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It was a chilly fall morning. You'd both scored a 4 day stretch off work. These times were your favourite. Sleeping in together. Waking up tangled in each other. Nights enjoying each others company.
When you woke that morning, your eyes opened to see Michael propped on his arm staring lovingly at you.
"Morning, sweet girl", he softly spoke as he pushed a rogue clump of curls from in front of your eyes.
You pulled the duvet up over your face. "Hate mornings. Love sleep. Cuddle me please."
Michael chuckled and pulled your frame close to him, your fronts touching as you swung a leg over his hip. "Cuddle approved but I want to take you out for breakfast soon okay?"
You nuzzled into his neck and inhaled deeply. The scent of him in the mornings was something you wished you could bottle. You groaned a little, playfully. "Fine. Need the good coffee though. And pancakes."
After you both showered and got dressed, you strolled the half mile to your favourite cafe. Michael ordered at the counter while you found a booth to slump into, stifling a yawn.
The pancakes and coffee came in the angelic hands of the server and your morning mood shifted with every maple-syrup mouthful.
"Good?" Michael asked.
"Perfection. Good call, Doc." You cradled your latte in your hands and took in your surroundings. The cafe was by the river, with truly breathtaking scenery and dappled light through the trees which were elegantly losing their leaves.
A crying baby caught your attention and your eyes moved to see the back of a woman at the counter, the baby on her hip not having a great time. "Sounds like gas", you spoke your thoughts.
"Sorry?" Michael asked, confused because of your lack of context.
You sipped your latte and nodded toward the baby and mother. "That particular sound is trapped gas. Baby either needs a good burp or a thunderous toot."
Michael smiled and shook his head. "Ridiculous. Babies just cry. There's not different cries, surely."
"Uh, there is." You pointed a finger at him. "It's called Dunstan Baby Language. The cries are different according to their need. They make different noises based on what they feel", you started counting on your fingers; "tired, hungry, uncomfortable."
"Not true" Michael waved his hand dismissing your statements, a small chuckle escaping his mouth.
"It's a science. Die mad about it".
"Drink your coffee, I need my caffeinated fiancè back. She's not mean", he said as he opened up a newspaper while looking up at you over his glasses. You flipped him the bird, casually, with a grin.
The woman with the baby on her hip turned from the counter and your eyes caught hers. You immediately smiled and offered a friendly wave. Her eyes lit up and she hurried over to your booth excitedly.
"Girl! How are you! We miss seeing you!" the woman leaned down to give you a little embrace. Robby looked between you two. He hadn't met this friend before.
"I'm doing great! This is my Fiancè, Michael. Michael, this is Janey". The two exchanged greetings.
"And how are you? It's so nice to see you outside of the NICU! How's my little Prince going?" You tickled the feet of the baby with glee.
"It's so good to be home. But he won't stop crying all the time. I try to burp him but he doesn't give it up. I have to hold him constantly. I'm exhausted." Janey did look very tired, but mostly flustered and tightly wound. "I need to pee but I can't put him down. Would you mind holding him?"
"Of course!" You started. "C'mere big guy". You reached out your arms for the 6 pound baby boy and lovingly cradled him in your arms. You noticed the reusable grocery bags in Janeys hand. The supermarket was next door. "I'll be here for a while if you want to get your shopping done too?"
Janey hesitated briefly but gave in. "Thankyou. That'd be amazing. Won't be long." She planted a kiss on her sons head. "Mommy will be back soon". And then she left.
Michael looked across at you, with the baby crying in your arms. "Who is this guy?" he pointed to the little bundle.
"Ah. This. THIS guy is Arthur. Or Arti. I think he prefers Arti, don't you little man?", you bopped him on his nose and he was distracted from crying for a few seconds.
"Arti was born at 23 weeks. 440 grams" You started, keeping your voice low because HIPAA. "And he -"
Michael cut you off. "TWENTY THREE WEEKS? FOUR HUNDRED AND FORTY GRAMS?". His eyes were wide with shock.
"Yes, Michael." You pointed to your mug. "Could have full imersion bathed him in that when he was born." You said, nonchalantly.
"Had all the usual micropreemie things. Intubated, extubated, intubated again. Gut surgery. Patent ductus arteriosis needing a clip. Retinopathy treated with laser surgery. Chronic lung disease. He's got an attitude problem as you can see", you laughed looking at the little boy.
"That's a lot. For anyone let alone a baby. How old is he?"
"I think maybe 2 months corrected? But like 7-ish months since birth". You sat Arti on your lap and straightened his back while rapidly tapping your foot so he would slightly jiggle and relax at the vibration.
"He's stopped crying." Michael was watching intently. He placed his palm under his chin and leaned his elbow on the table, curious to see what happened next.
Arti squirmed in his seated position and screwed up his face to cry. His face turned red save for some white patches above his lip and between his eyebrows. "See the blanching? That's another trapped gas sign."
You leaned Arti forward on your knee and started pushing the palm of your hand firmly up his spine. No burp. You supported his head and swirled his body around and around. No burp. You tilted him to his left and rapidly but gently thumped your palm around his back. And with that, a long and satisfying burp escaped. Arti relaxed instantly and you bought him to your chest for a real cuddle, telling him what a great job he did.
"Janey said she couldn't get him to burp?" Michael looked worried.
You shrugged. "Lots of ways to burp a baby. I'll send her some resources on baby language and burping techniques."
Baby Arti was slow blinking as you traced a line down his nose from in between his brows over and over, until his eyes stayed shut.
"Wow. You're the baby whisperer", Michael said with kindness.
You turned the little boy, now asleep, onto his tummy over your forearm where he lay like a sloth in a tree.
"Unconventional way to hold a baby", Michael said with an eyebrow raised as you applied pressured strokes down Artis spine.
"Method in madness. Give it a few moments". You took a sip of your coffee and looked out the window. Arti let rip a 15-second-long toot, and a quick sleep-giggle. "He'll be right for a few hours now. But I've gotta pee! Here..." You handed the sleeping baby to Michael who was momentarily unsure of how to hold the tiny boy.
"Here", you helped adjust his arms around the baby, "chest to chest, his face looking up at you. Hold him close and keep your hand under his butt, and his neck in your elbow. Be right back."
You left for the restroom and on the way back ordered a second coffee for both you and Michael. You turned from the counter to see him and your heart melted. He was reading the newspaper to Arti in a sing-song voice. It was the real estate guide. "Three bedroom plus small study. 2.5 bathroom including spacious main ensuite. Secure on-site parking. Small landscaped yard suitable for pets." Michael plopped the paper down on the table and held the tiny hand of sleeping baby Arti. "What do you think, little man? Think she'd like it?". Arti smiled in his sleep. Michael smiled back. "Yeah, I think so too."
Your heart was almost bursting as you came back to the booth with two coffees. You leaned forward to give Michael a kiss on the temple and place his cup just out of reach. The sight of your man so natural with a baby, had your ovaries feeling things.
"You two getting along?" You asked, playfully.
"I think I like him better than Jack!" Michael's eyes stayed lovingly on Artis sleeping face.
"Ooo new contender for best man at our wedding. At least we won't have to worry about Arti giving a drunk speech, but he might shit his pants during the ceremony"
Michael laughed in his throat and then his face grew serious. "Will he be okay?"
You considered his question for a moment. "Depends what you consider okay. Jack's missing a leg and he's okay. Certifiably insane but he's okay. Arti will hopefully meet his milestones. That's what parents hope for. He might face challenges, but he's already proven how strong and determined he is. What matters most is that he is loved and supported. And I know Janey covers that all day every day."
Michael kept his gaze on the little boy. "And if he doesn't? Meet his milestones?"
"Well he will still be loved and supported. But insurance will make the journey excruciatingly hard on Janey if he needs support. This is we stan Luigi."
You sat down opposite Michael and he passed Arti across the table to you. You cradled him in one arm, and stroked his hair. "You're going to be great, little guy. No matter what."
Michael shot you a half smile and reached out to take your hand.
"Must be hard" he said after some time.
"What's that?"
"Months in hospital. Constantly reacting to their needs. All the complications along the way. And you don't really have a clear picture of what lies ahead. Just have to trust the process." Michael looked sad.
You gave his hand a little squeeze. "Babies and adults are so alike. What they need is warmth, shelter, sustenance, and love. If you've got all that, you've got it all."
You both sat sipping your coffees and enjoying staring at baby Arti together.
Janey arrived at your booth 10 minutes later. "I can't thankyou enough. I was able to get the shopping done so quickly and easily. Thankyou!". You handed Arti back to Janey. "Anytime! Anything for my little Prince!". Janey said her goodbyes and leaned in to give you a hug, whispering in your ear "you two will make cute babies", before taking her leave. You agreed with Janey; Michael's eyes would be dominant and those alone would make the CUTEST babies.
"Right. Ready to go?" Michael folded the newspaper and stacked the plates and cups into a pile on the table, before stepping out of the booth and offering you his hand to get up on your feet.
The air outside the Cafe was crisp and cool. Fall was in full swing and the scenic walk along the river back to your apartment was stunning. Michael's fingers laced through yours as you walked.
He stopped suddenly, half way home. You turned to him to see him scratching the corner of his eyebrow and pursing his lips.
"What's up? You good?" You asked.
He let out a little huff and looked around, clearly contemplating something and unsure how to voice it.
"Michael?"
He put his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and rocked on his feet, looking at the ground with a slight smile.
"what is it?"
His gaze came to meet yours, and he looked toward the river with a resigned smile and shrugged. "I want a baby with you. I want us to have a baby."
"Michael did you just hold a baby for seven minutes and decide to make an 18 year commitment? Because usually you are meticulous with planning and this feels more like a sporadic-Abbot move." You raised an eyebrow at him, your own hands tucked into your jacket pockets.
Michael laughed and pulled you into him. "I've always wanted this with you. It doesn't have to be right now. I've seen a couple of homes that would allow us the space to have a family. We've got everything we need to make it happen. I'm just saying, when you're ready, I'm really ready".
"Don't you want to get married first?" You asked, looking up from his chest to his eyes.
"Do you?"
"If we're going to have a baby, I'd like to be admitted to Maternity as Mrs Robinavich, yes." You rolled your eyes playfully at him.
"Then that's what we'll do" he planted a kiss on your head and locked your hands together again as you continued the walk home.
You walked a few minutes in silence before Michael opened up the conversation again. Quietly he asked "What sort of wedding would you like?". The question hung in the air for a beat, Michael's eyes on the ground in front of him.
"Promise you won't hate me?", you said through gritted teeth.
"Course", he offered quietly.
"My perfect wedding is just us. Maybe a small group of friends and family at most. But intimate. I don't need the fanfare, I just need you." You walked a few more steps before Michael stopped you. He faced you and guided you back two steps until you were resting against the trunk of a tree. A breeze pulled orange leaves from their branches for them to float gently around you.
Michael placed one hand on the tree next you your head, and circled his other arm around the small of your back, pulling you forward and upward to meet his lips in the most loving kiss. It left you breathless. His eyes closed momentarily with your foreheads touching. He opened them again as you reached to cup the side of his face. "Just us?" He asked. You smiled into another kiss and when you pulled back you replied, "Just us. You and me."
His eyes were shining and you could feel the love emanating from behind them. "Let's go home" he said as he took your hand and led you along the path littered with leaves.
Walking into your apartment, you set the thermostat to 72 and you both removed your jackets. Michael changed into grey sweats and a tshirt and made his way to the couch, picking up a novel he had been reading the night before and pulling his glasses on.
You started on dinner prep. Nothing fancy. Nothing you could screw up. Burgers and salad.
Looking over from the kitchen some time later, Michael looked so handsome sitting on the couch. The midday sun was casting him in a back-lit glow through the sheer curtains behind him. His eyes were trained on the pages of the book and his fist was holding up his head at his cheek. He looked so relaxed and you smiled to yourself before slinking across the room toward him.
Michael looked up to you as you appeared standing in front of him. He placed his book on the coffee table and reached for your hand. When you obliged, he pulled you directly onto his lap, your thighs bracing him.
You cupped both sides of his face with your hands and rubbed them through his hair, meeting them together behind his head as you pulled him forward for a kiss without a word between either of you.
Michael returned the kiss, slow and purposeful as his hands found their way under the back of your tshirt, warming the skin over your hips. The kiss deepened as he gripped the flesh at your sides with a slight growl at the back of his throat. "Love your curves so much", he said between kisses.
You pushed your hands against his chest to create room between you, and leaned back to remove your top. Then, pulling Michael's tshirt off, you were even. The want in Michael's eyes was primal. His fingers traced your collarbone and down the valley of your breasts. One hand slid up behind your neck, pulling you forward into a more heated kiss while his other hand found the soft cup of your bra and kneaded the flesh through the fabric, gentle but firm.
Your hips rocked in an attempt to seek friction, which you found in Michael's hard length bulging against the fabric of his grey sweats. He unclipped and discarded your bra in one smooth motion, and began worshipping your breasts as your back arched into him, your hands tangling in his hair. The feel of his beard against your sensitive nipples elicited gasps from you. Michael chuckled with each sound you made. "Feel good?" he asked. You were only able to humm in response and he chuckled again. He took one bud into his mouth, while tweaking the other and your fire within started raging. "Michael..." you breathed out, head hung backward.
"Gonna need you naked sweetheart", he said as he pulled you in for a quick kiss. You pushed off of him and stood up. Through hooded eyes you caught his gaze, looked down to his crotch and back to those beautiful deep brown eyes. He stretched the waistband of his sweats down to free his throbbing cock, grasping it in his hand. He watched you with searing heat in his eyes as you slowly shimmied your pants off and kicked them to the side.
"Closer" he urged you and you obliged, now standing directly in front of him. His hands reached out and he placed them on your outer thighs, squeezing the flesh before ghosting his palms up to rest at your hips. He bought himself forward on the couch and placed gently kisses along the waistband of your panties. You ran your fingers through his hair as goosebumps prickled along your bodys surface.
Michael's hands found their way to your ass, fingertips poking up beneath the lacy fabric before hooking around it and pulling them down so that you were now completely bare in front of him. He traced your stretch marks and lavished your soft stomach with kisses.
You placed one hand on his shoulder and pushed his body back into the couch, climbing atop him in an instant. One of his hands travelled down and found your core; parting you gently, his fingers swept through your slick and his cock twitched against you're thigh. "You're so wet" he choked out.
"Need you, Michael. Please" You whined, your hips involuntarily pushing against his hand.
Gripping his thick, hard cock in his hand, Michael swiped it between your folds to lubricate the tip. You gasped with pleasure as it grazed your clit and he nipped at your nipple with his mouth. He lined up at your entrance but stopped suddenly.
"Shit. Condom."
You took you hand down and grabbed his cock from his hand, giving it two slow and firm pumps. "Need you bare, baby", you softly whispered into his ear and his breath hitched.
Cupping the side of your neck with his hand, he asked "you sure?".
"Mmmhm. So sure." And with that you started lowering yourself onto him.
The stretch burned at first. He was thick and you needed time to adjust. Looking down at Michael, his eyes were closed and his hands were softly resting on your thighs. His face showed he was trying to steady himself. "So fucking tight, baby. Fuck" he said, eyes still closed but hands now gripping tightly at the flesh of your thighs.
After a minute he bottomed out, and groaned at the sensation. Sitting upright, he wrapped one arm around your back to pull the two of you chest to chest. His mouth finding one of your nipples as you slowly started to shift atop him. He flicked your nipple with his tongue and then grazed it with his teeth, making you clench around him.
"Sweetheart you're gonna make me cum if you keep doing that. Feel too good like this. Fuck".
You flicked some hair from your face and caught Michael's lips in a deep kiss. Your hips found their rhythm and Michael gripped onto them as you bit his lower lip and he let out a groan.
The pace intensified, as did Michael's lust for you as he watched your tits bouncing in front of his face. He pushed up into you, in time with the rhythm you were setting and it felt incredible. You place both hands on his pecs to help steady yourself, the motion pushing your breasts together which made Michael push harder into you at the sight of.
"You're close. Can feel it baby. You're so fucking pretty. Cum on me baby. Cmon, give it to me. I've got you".
Those words from his mouth started your walls quivering, and when Michael's thumb found your clit you knew you didn't stand a chance. He rubbed the most perfect circles into you, praising you, adoring you with his words as he pushed you toward the edge. You cried out his name three times and he responded with more pressure and harder upward thrusts. You spasmed around him rapidly, the wave of the orgasm leaving you breathless and slumped with your head on Michael's shoulder.
Michael held you in place, hands rubbing over your back and through your hair as your recovered from the blissful crash. He was still rock hard inside you; always the controlled gentleman, wanting at least 2 orgasms from you before he'd allow himself one.
Once your breathing regulated, he lifted you off him and faced you to the back of the couch on your knees. He palmed your ass and squeezed at the flesh with a groan. He leaned forward and grabbed your hair into his hand, the other hand lifting you slightly below your stomach. You reached between your legs and guided his length to your dripping entrance. He entered you slowly, the angle having you immediately feeling deliciously full of him. He pushed the entire way and and retracted briskly, setting a quick pace.
His hips pounding into you leaving slaps ricocheting around the apartment along with your moans.
"Look back at me baby, need to see you. Need you to see how much I love this", and you obeyed, finding his eyes over your shoulder, still panting and moaning with each thrust.
"So fucking pretty baby. Fuck". Michael let go of your hair and pulled your body up so your back was flush with his chest. He kissed your neck while his hands found their positions at one of your breasts and your clit. The angle was incredible, the slight curve of his thick cock hitting you just right on your spongey spot. He pulled at a nipple and started urgently rubbing at your clit, all while keeping his pace inside of you.
Your eyes rolled back as he continued kissing your neck, and you reached an arm up to grab the back of his head, hoping it would prevent you from floating away with how good this felt.
Faster, greedier, Michael was about to take all of you. The pressure and the sensations through your most sensitive parts were pulling you rapidly toward another orgasm.
"So. Fucking. Pretty. Fuck" his rhythm was now punishing, slamming in and out of you. Your words were incomprehensible and your breathing erratic. "Almost there baby. Doing so good. Give me another one. Cmon. I'm right here".
Harder and faster again, his hands and lips still expertly spoiling you; this was an out of body experience now. Your vision went dark and the quake within you was about to peak.
"Fuck. Michael. Oh my God YES. MICHAEL!", your body stiffened and twitched and your toes curled and your eyes teared up.
"Mmm baby, so fucking good hearing you like this" Michael soothed you right through the orgasm, continuing his kisses on your neck until you were still and limp in his arms.
He spun you around and lifted you to wrap your legs around his waist, carrying you down the hall to the bedroom where he could have all the space he needed to find his own release. He laid you down on the bed, mouth on yours the entire time, hooking one of your legs up with his elbow to achieve the deepest penetration as he entered you for the third time.
This time, it was paced. It was controlled. It was perfect. It was art. It was lovemaking.
Michael kept his eyes on you. "Keep lookin at me baby. Feels so good when you look at me". He was propping his torso up with one elbow on the mattress, occasionally looking down at where your two bodies were moving against each other, no doubt enjoying the view as his pace would pick up a little more with each look. But still, his eyes always returned to yours.
Sweat coated you both now, glistening bodies melded together on the white linen of your shared bed. It was holy.
Your hands snuck behind his body and your nails scraped the skin of his back gently but with enough pressure that Michael clenched his eyes closed with pleasure. You pulled at his neck and bought him to you where his kisses became desperate as your hands tugged at his hair.
You let moans escape your mouth into his and he began to lose control, marching forward toward his own release.
You tilted your hips in the way that drove him wild, and arched your chest up into him.
His voice gravelly, he warned "gonna cum. Sure about this?"
Through your lashes you looked up at him. "Uhhuh. Feels so good".
His lips crashed to yours at the green light and his hand gripped your ass as he pounded you harder and faster into the mattress. The angle of your pelvis giving friction each time he pumped into you, bringing you closer to a third release. You wrapped your legs tightly around his waist as the pressure built in each of you. Michael now rested his forehead against yours, maintaining eye contact. "I love you. So fucking much". "Love you too", you breathed out and pulled him in for a kiss which sparked the start of your combined orgasm.
Michael let out several grunts into your kiss as his body jolted and warm ropes filled your heat. His cock twitching inside you send you into orbit and your head fell back with nothing but air escaping your mouth as your orgasm levelled you completely.
His hand came up to grab yours, and he laced your fingers together beside your head while you kissed along his jawline. His head dipped down to rest on your shoulder as he pulled out, leaving you to feel a trickle of warmth escaping. He moved to lay on his side beside you, his fingers tracing any stretch mark he could find, like they were his favourite roadmaps leading him to valleys and mountains of pleasure.
Your hand reach out to cup his face, thumb gliding over those heavenly freckles under his eyes. "You look tired", you said with a small smile before rolling over to face him directly.
"You look beautiful", he replied, and you blushed.
"You look beautiful too. But beautiful and tired. Like a sleepy baby. Cute", you bopped his nose and he chuckled.
"Nap before dinner?"
"Say less"
Michael kissed the back of your hand before you rested it gently on the side of his neck. This was peak happiness.
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goldenrulemotherfucker · 10 months ago
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Lucy/Cooper → FBI AU
Made for Ghoulcy Week on twitter
Lucy is an FBI agent on her first solo case when she meets Cooper, a former public figure turned fugitive searching for his daughter. After hearing his side of the story, she reluctantly agrees to help him in secret.
Full action movie plot under the cut!
FBI agent Lucy is working her first solo case when she crosses paths with Cooper, a former public figure turned fugitive. After learning her last name, Cooper lures her into an old parking garage, where some other men have her outnumbered. Lucy is able to fight them off and escape, only for Cooper to grab her from behind. She headbutts him, breaking his nose, and he injects her with a sedative. When Lucy wakes up, she's bound to a chair in a living room, and Cooper asks her about her father—a government official who vanished years ago. Cooper tells her he's been searching for his daughter, who is also missing, and that it's all connected to a conspiracy that the FBI helped cover up. Two other men arrive, and Cooper cuts Lucy's ties and hides her in a closet. Through the gap under the door, she watches them argue until it escalates into a fight, and one guy's gun slides across the floor. She bursts out and grabs it, shooting both of the attackers and saving Cooper’s life. While helping him with a stab wound, Lucy tells him to keep his eyes open and asks what his daughter's name is. She gets the impression he hasn’t said it out loud in a while.
After locating her gun and phone, Lucy gives him five minutes to explain everything. Cooper tells her that years ago he discovered that his wife, who worked directly over Lucy's dad, was involved in a rogue operation to develop biological weapons. When he found out, Barb fled without a trace and took Janey with her. Lucy is skeptical but needs to know how much of this is true. Thus begins their unlikely and secret alliance, while Lucy uses her FBI clearance to gather more intel. Sometimes, when she needs a favor from him, she plays the "you did sedate me" card, which is highly effective. One night after finding a significant lead, they kiss, but it's awkward. Eventually, Lucy's cover is blown, and they're on the run together. With time running out, they're able to expose the conspiracy by leaking files to the press. Cooper creates a diversion to help Lucy escape, leaving her unsure if he made it. When they're reunited/exonerated, she rushes forward and hugs him.
A meeting is arranged with Cooper's daughter, but he panics, thinking that she might hate him now or not want to talk to him. Lucy offers to go first wearing an earpiece. She sits at a picnic table across from Janey, now a teenager, and tells her that her dad is an amazing person who never stopped looking for her. Janey asks if Lucy is his girlfriend, which catches her off guard. Janey follows that by asking if she loves him. Lucy doesn't want to lie to either of them, so she says, "Yes, I do. How could I not love someone like that?" Lucy and Cooper trade places, and she pops out her earpiece to give them privacy. Back at the van, Cooper reappears a while later, and Lucy asks him how it went—he's actually disappointed that she wasn't listening. He grabs her and kisses her, then says, "Thank you. I love you. I couldn't have done this without you."
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much-obliged-timothy · 4 years ago
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Had another Borderlands fic idea that will never turn into anything substantial, so here’s a little one-shot based on it! A job unexpectedly reunites Athena with an old companion, retirement is very tempting, and I somehow turned a minor character with one (1) defining feature into an OC
Athena moved along the area quietly, out of sight. The path nearby was mostly quiet aside from a lone skag dragging itself along.
Janey was trying to convince her to give up taking these contracts. She wanted Athena to find a more legitimate way to make money, preferably one that didn’t involve her assassinating people.
But when this job had come her way, she couldn’t resist. 
Jack’s influence on Pandora was growing by the day. If he managed to wake the Warrior, he’d wipe out the majority of life here. Normally, Athena wouldn’t care what happened to a planet like Pandora. But the fact that she and Janey now lived here meant she sure as hell didn’t want Jack occupying the place.
There weren’t many details on her target. A higher-up in Hyperion who went rogue for unknown reasons. He was guaranteed to have top-secret information that could be used against Jack, potentially even detrimentally so. Jack was quietly sending people after him, not wanting anyone to know he was out there.
Apparently, he’d joined a local bandit gang, though Athena couldn’t puzzle out if it was to blend in or for the sake of having protection. Not that it really mattered.
The job was to capture him and turn him over to the client. Athena had other plans for him, though.
Someone with that intel? She had every intention of beating some of it out of him herself, then turning him over to the Crimson Raiders. They were the only organized movement against Jack. She had to hope they could be competent enough to take him down.
She quieted her thoughts as voices drifted her way, still a fair distance off. She found a suitable hiding place, then fell still. 
It was a few minutes before gunshots rang out and the skag on the path fell dead. Laughter, close now, came in waves.
“Stupid creatures,” a man’s voice said.
Athena peaked out from her hiding spot. Sure enough, a group of bandits were approaching the skag’s corpse. The one leading them reached it first, kicking it roughly.
She scanned their faces, immediately dismissing most of the little group. Only two stood out to her, and only one could be her target.
The two had their faces hidden with masks, but one was a woman and one was a man. Her target was the man.
She did a thorough observation of him as he watched the others kick and carve at the skag corpse. He had a gun holstered to his thigh, his hand resting on it with the kind of casual paranoia of the hunted. The way his right pant leg flared just the slightest informed her he likely had a knife hidden beneath it. He had on a weapons belt, though she wasn’t sure what kind of guns he would digistruct from it. She had no information about his fighting style.
Three grenades strapped to the weapons belt. He wasn’t armed to the teeth, but he was prepared for a fight.
She took in his outfit. Most of him was hidden by his clothing; cargo pants, a jacket zipped up part way over his shirt, combat boots, a ragged scarf around his neck, fingerless gloves, and his mask. The hood of his jacket was pulled up, hiding his hair. This was a man who didn’t want to reveal a single defining feature about himself.
She slipped a grenade into her hand, waiting patiently. She had to get them here, while they were well away from their base camp. The bandit gang was surprisingly organized and well-armed. It would be hard to capture him on his home turf. This was her best chance, as she heard he didn’t leave the base very often.
She’d been observing for nearly two weeks, gathering information, though she’d been unable to get close enough to monitor the base. She’d captured two of the gang members, torturing what answers she could out of them and finding out her target was heading out on a small but important gang job today.
“Alright,” the masked woman said. “Are you done kicking the skag? We need to get moving.”
A redheaded man waved his hand dismissively. “We’re going to reach the drop point early at this rate. We got time to kill. But if you’re gonna bitch, we might as well go.”
They started moving again. Her target was towards the center of their group, so Athena shifted her aim from the group to just behind them, at the skag’s corpse.
She rolled the grenade, watching it bump along the ground and come to rest against the skag corpse. She raised her shield just as the blast went off.
The group immediately went on the defensive, tightening their formation and yelling out orders to each other. All had their guns aimed, circled up to cover every direction. 
It wouldn’t help them. Athena took two down with headshots, aware their shields had been, if not shattered, then dangerously weakened in the explosion because they’d been at the back of the group.
The formation tightened to cover the losses, two of the members firing at where Athena’s shots had come from. She was already on the move, circling around.
She flung her shield, catching the masked woman in the legs and sending her falling against the man next to her. It created a partial domino effect, sending half the group stumbling.
Athena charged in, firing on them, trying to break their shields as fast as she could. Her target had frozen at the sight of her, but she saw his head snap to the side, looking for an escape.
He knew. Good. It was more fun when they panicked.
“Come on!” he said, voice distorted. Damn, he’d gone to the extremes to keep himself hidden. He grabbed the redheaded man’s jacket as two others fired on Athena. “We need to go!” 
She expected resistance, but the redheaded man didn’t hesitate. “Cover us!”
He and her target began to flee, heading in the direction of a denser area where they could either take cover or hope to lose her. Athena shot one of the two men left behind dead and flung her shield at her target as hard as she could.
It struck his right leg and he cried out in pain as he fell. Like she’d hoped, the impact sent him falling in a way that no doubt resulted in, at the least, a broken ankle. She hoped she’d fucked up his whole leg.
She shot the other remaining bandit dead and approached the target and the redhead. The redhead was frantically trying to get her target up, but his leg was a mess and he was struggling to get upright. He looked over his shoulder, then shoved the redhead off himself and gestured at him to run.
The target flipped onto his back, firing at Athena with an SMG he must’ve digistructed. She raised her shield to absorb the shots, continuing to stalk closer to him and watch his growing panic.
The redhead hadn’t abandoned him. He fired on Athena as well, trying to get between her and the target. She ran forward and slammed into him with her shield, knocking him onto his back. She aimed her gun at him as he wheezed for breath.
“No!” 
The target threw himself forward at her legs, catching her by surprise and knocking her to the ground. He let out a cry as his bad leg crumpled beneath him, but used the sudden momentum to slam against Athena as they struck the ground together, winding her. 
He jammed his gun up under her chin. “You going to walk away, or we gotta do this the hard way?”
“Hard way,” Athena said, slamming her fist against the side of his head. He fell off her, trying to get back up but unable to move his leg properly.
She drove her knee into his back, listening to him grunt as he hit the ground. She tried to get an arm around his neck, but he waited until she got close and then jammed an elbow back into her stomach, throwing her off himself.
He was a fighter, she’d give him that. This was a man who was determined to live.
But he was too valuable to lose, so she threw herself right back at him. Guns were too dangerous; she couldn’t risk killing him.
He wasn’t particularly competent in close-range fighting. He was just scared and desperate. She realized it as they began to trade blows again. There was little form to his attacks. He was too frantic to be strategic and too unpracticed to be very effective aside from the occasional lucky blow. 
His friend wouldn’t stay down forever. Athena grabbed her gun and tried to fire in the redhead’s direction, but her target grabbed her arm and slammed it against the ground, trying to break her wrist. She released the gun and turned her arm to cushion the blow, but the target used the sudden chance to seize her gun, firing on her.
Shots struck her from behind. Shit. He was back up.
Athena rolled away, snagging the target’s jacket and dragging him with her, putting him between her and the redhead. The shots stopped after two caught the target’s shield. 
Athena finally managed to hook an arm around his throat, tightening her hold until he couldn’t breathe, his fingers clawing at her arm. She snatched her gun back, firing at the redhead as he tried to run forward to help, sending him stumbling back.
The target suddenly threw his hand up, fingers dangerously close to her left eye. She jerked back, loosening her hold on accident. He brought his head forward and jerked it back, cracking it against hers.
She could feel her nose bleeding as she lost her hold on him. As he tried to crawl away, she kicked his bad leg, making him yell.
They both threw themselves at each other, rolling and punching. Athena ended up kneeling on his chest, fist pulled back to strike him. She’d knock him out, kill his friend, and get out of here with the target in hand.
“Athena, wait!” he cried.
She paused. How did he know her name?
“Get off him,” the redhead said, aiming his gun at her. “Get the hell off him.”
She raised her fist again. She’d ask him when he woke up in a few hours.
“Whoa, whoa, jeez, it’s me! Athena, it’s just me!” the target said in alarm. When that didn’t stop her, he panicked worse, and yelled, “Oh, fuck me: Let’s get sexy!”
That stopped her. 
She slowly lowered her fist. It couldn’t be. 
She grabbed his mask and yanked it off. He looked up at her with his only good eye, the other one milky white and blind, the scar carving through it on its path along his face.
“Not-Jack,” she said.
“Timothy,” he said, yanking the scarf off and tapping a choker around his throat. When he spoke again, his voice didn’t come out distorted. It was all Jack’s voice, but the tone was a light one Jack didn’t use. “My name is Timothy.”
“We, uh, we know the assassin?” the redhead said, looking unsure now as he kept his gun pointed at Athena. 
Tim tried to sit up. Athena backed off enough to let him. He pushed the hood back, revealing that he’d cut Jack’s hair and tried to style it differently. 
“We used to work together,” Tim informed his friend. 
“So...why’s she trying to kill you? I mean, yea, you’re whiny to work with, but you’re not that insufferable,” the redhead said.
“I am not wh- Okay, whatever, he’s got a point. Why are you trying to kill me?” Tim said.
“If I wanted you dead, you’d be dead,” Athena said. “I got hired to capture you and turn you over.” She crossed her arms, putting a foot on his chest to keep him down when he tried to get up. “You were high-up in Hyperion, according to the intel I got.”
“I was,” Tim said warily. “I ran. I joined a bandit gang. That’s Zeno.”
“Uh...hi,” the redhead said, giving a wave with the hand that wasn’t pointing a gun at her. “Tim, what the fuck is happening?”
“No clue,” Tim said. “So can we, um, go? Not that I’m really going anywhere with a broken leg, but, you know.”
“No.” Athena pressed her foot harder to his chest. “You’re going to the Crimson Raiders.”
“The- what?” Tim said in alarm. “They’ll kill me!” 
“Someone needs to stop Jack. Since they gained the vault hunters, they’ve been a threat to him,” Athena said. “If you were as valuable on Helios as you were made out to be, you’re a valuable source of information on Jack.”
“W-Wait!” Tim said, eyes going wide. “You can’t. Athena, you can’t. They’ll kill me. Look at me! They’ll kill me in a heartbeat! No, no, actually, they’ll torture me for information first, and then they’ll kill me. Please, you can’t do this. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know and you can take it to them. Just let me go. Please. I fled because Jack was a goddamn monster and I couldn��t stand to work for him anymore.”
Athena considered. He was probably right about them torturing and killing him. 
And did he really deserve that? He was just a kid who got in over his head. She knew he’d only stayed with Jack because Jack had implanted a bomb in his face. If he was here, he’d found a way to get it out or deactivate it and then run. 
He’d never wanted to be part of this mess. She internally groaned. She’d had a soft spot for the damn kid back on Elpis, and looking at his frightened face, it was coming back.
She got up, grabbing his jacket. “You’re coming with me. I won’t turn you over, but you are going to tell me whatever I want to know.”
“Nope,” Zeno said, finger tightening on the trigger. “Can’t let you take him.”
“You can’t stop me,” Athena warned.
“She’s right,” Tim said miserably. “Let him live, Athena. Not a lot of people exactly like me. Be a shame to lose one of the few who does.”
Zeno lowered the gun slowly. “I’ll go. He can’t get back to the camp on his own with his leg like that. I’ll drag his ass back when you’re done questioning him. Politely questioning him.” He waved the gun a little. “Very politely.”
“God, you idiot,” Tim said, but it was fond. “You can’t stop Athena.”
“You can come,” Athena said, surprising herself. “But only because I need help getting him back like this. You two try anything, I shoot the redhead and go with my original plan.”
“You’ll really let me go?” Tim said anxiously. 
“I promise,” she said, unable to meet his eyes as she said it. “You left Jack. I can respect that, at least.”
“No loyalty to that absolute dick, trust me,” Tim said.
She and Zeno struggled to get him upright. Tim couldn’t put any pressure on his leg. Athena was kind of regretting fucking it up so badly.
“Here,” she said, injecting him with a health kit. “Start talking while we walk. How’d you escape Jack?”
“Yea, that’s a long story,” Tim said.
“We’ve got time,” Athena said.
Tim sighed but began his story of how he’d escaped and come to live amongst a bandit gang. As he talked, Athena wondered how she got herself into these damn messes and why she always took pity on the stupid kids like Tim. 
Still, she already knew what would happen. She’d take him to Hollow Point, Janey would yell at her for taking a contract and beating up Tim, they’d tend to him, she’d get her information, and she’d let him go. And once she let him go, she’d keep an eye on him to make sure that bastard Handsome Jack never got his hands on Timothy. 
This job certainly hadn’t gone how she’d expected. Maybe it really was time to find a new career.
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wetalkinboutbooks · 5 years ago
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Deathless Divide by Justina Ireland
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Summary:  The sequel to Dread Nation is a journey of revenge and salvation across a divided America.
After the fall of Summerland, Jane McKeene hoped her life would get simpler: Get out of town, stay alive, and head west to California to find her mother.
But nothing is easy when you're a girl trained in putting down the restless dead, and a devastating loss on the road to a protected village called Nicodemus has Jane questioning everything she thought she knew about surviving in 1880's America.
What's more, this safe haven is not what it appears - as Jane discovers when she sees familiar faces from Summerland amid this new society. Caught between mysteries and lies, the undead, and her own inner demons, Jane soon finds herself on a dark path of blood and violence that threatens to consume her.
But she won't be in it alone.
Katherine Deveraux never expected to be allied with Jane McKeene. But after the hell she has endured, she knows friends are hard to come by - and that Jane needs her, too, whether Jane wants to admit it or not.
Watching Jane's back, however, is more than she bargained for, and when they both reach a breaking point, it's up to Katherine to keep hope alive - even as she begins to fear that there is no happily-ever-after for girls like her (Taken from Goodreads)
Our Ratings:  
 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ x1000
Overall: A killer sequel to Dread Nation, you’re constantly on the edge of your seat and each chapter is a new layer of stress. There’s never a moment of rest and repose because Justina Ireland hooks you with the first chapter and doesn’t let go until you’ve turned the last page.
~ Check out the spoiler-full review/plot discussion below!
The Bad: 
→ Redjack and Redfern
Geena: We’re starting with the bad because as Kae said ‘So much bad happens before the good’ and that’s the best way to describe this book. Let’s start off with our fave rogue from Dread Nation who turns out to be a WHOLE BITCH!!! Once Jane and Katherine and Co. get out of Summerland and meet up with him to plan their next move, Jane and them want to go to Nicodemus (a safe town run by a black man and a council of freed slaves and indigenous ppl). Redjack is like ‘it’s an overpopulated place let’s not’ but Jane isn’t dumb and sniffs out that there’s something else, and after Katherine and Jane both needle him we find out that… THIS BITCH IS MARRIED… AND HAS BEEN FOR A WHILE?????? ALL THE WHILE HE WAS FLIRTING AND MACKING ON JANE HE WAS MARRIED????????????? This is the start of the downfall of men in this book, it only gets worse from here… Jane confronts him about being played and he’s basically like ‘Jane you’re fun and all but like you’d never settle down, I seen you fighting and stuff just because you want to… I need a home for Lily’... and like… ok.... Jane is immediately like ‘He wanted a doormat’ and I DIED… but karma works fast and he gets bit by a shambler literally the same night lmao… and guess who kills him? JANE.. though it’s quite emotional because she had feelings for him. 
Jane also steals one of his letters when she kills him and kjnsfdskj we find out his wife is preggers but who’s gonna tell her that Redjack is capital d DEAD...  
Kae: Alright. MF’n REDJACK. This man… With his cute ass… He was just TRASH. A real fuckboy and Geena summed him up perfectly. I was like, a lil sad to see him go? But good riddance to him for playing my Janey Jane. She may be a tough-ass, but she absolutely has feelings (THAT SHE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH) but still. She has feelings. 
So now, let’s talk about Redfern’s shady ass. I’ve always side-eyed Redfern. I didn’t trust him. I had a very hard time trusting him because how you gone help The White Man ™  help enslave black and other indigenous peoples for your own gain? Like, boy fuck you. Shady ass. He’s the one that transported Jane, Katherine, and Red Jack to Summerland in the first place. So it was definitely a shock to see his fool ass in Nicodemus as the damn SHERIFF. LIKE WHO TF?
Geena: RIGHT I WAS LIKE WHY IS HE EVERYWHERE? IS HE CLONING HIMSELF??
Kae: And like, he jails Jane because when her and the gang arrive, the surviving folks of Summerland blame her for the small settlement falling to the dead. Redfern is like “Look, Jane. I know you ain’t do that shit. But I gotta jail you so they can stfu. You’ll get a fair trial.” And Jane doesn’t trust this and neither do I. Because black people didn’t get a fair ANYTHING back then. (We still don't) BUT THAT’S ANOTHER STORY. ANYWAAAAAAAY. Jane catches Redfern shooting the breeze with Miss Duncan and they eventually set her free. All the while, Katherine, a few homies they met in Summerland, and a few homies from Miss Prestons, are planning to break Jane out and BOUNCE. When Jane and Katherine finally reunite, Katherine is like “JANE. MY BESTIE. I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU!” And Jane is like “Lol, yikes. We’re not even friends wtf?” Because again, Jane can’t handle feelings or people genuinely caring about her. That has a bit to do with mommy issues. NOW.  Jane has been trying to tell the council of Nicodemus that the horde of zombies will break down the wall that protects the city. But they’re like “HURR DURR SHUT UUUUP. We have machine guns. And that Gideon scientist boy has been keeping up gucci.” And Jane knows walls don’t hold forever. So she’s like we need to get TF up out of here. So she starts making a plan… And that’s when shit starts going south.
Geena: Like Kae said, Redfern is a traitor in all sense of the word… The only time he seems normal is when he’s hardcore crushing on Miss Duncan, but even then… He ends up telling Jane that he only cares about self-preservation and that’s why he’ll stab even his own mother in the back if it means he’ll be safe… OKAY HE DOESN’T SAY THAT BUT REDFERN 100% WOULD… Well kARMA GOT IT’S KISS FOR REDFERN TOO bc when Nicodemus falls, Miss Duncan also turns shambler so kjndsfkjsdfnsd
He ends up being a double agent near the end of the book, pretending to be Jane and Katherine’s ally, only to turn them over to the VILLAIN.. But then also helps them escape? A very morally questionable character and also another example of Deathless Divide saying ‘men aint shit’.
Kae: He triple crossed their asses. Triple agent mf 
→ The Fall of Nicodemus 
Kae: WHEWWWW. The fall of Nicodemus was something else. I knew it was going to happen, but damn, it was bad. So, we have bitchboy Gideon, who Jane has taken a bit of a liking to. And he wants her to convince the rest of the town to get a ‘Shambler Vaccine’ to protect them. She refuses because she has no idea if the vaccine really works. At least, not yet she does. So at some point, Gideon convinces all the people of Nicodemus to get vaccinated. But he vaccinates all of the original inhabitants of Nicodemus first, then the assholes from Summerland. But the thing is, he runs out of vaccines by the time he has to vaccinate the Summerland folk, and they’re being PISSY about it like “waaaaa, you vaccinated all the black folks before us, WAAA IM A FUCKIN BABY” so he hurries and makes a quick vaccine. Well, THIS QUICK BATCH TURNS THE FOLKS OF SUMMERLAND INTO ZOMBIES. THIS DUMBASS BITCHASS GIDEON TURNS THE DAMN PEOPLE. So he and Miss Duncan stuff them all in a barn or whatever, then DESTROYYYYYY the fence/wall in the back of the town to try to lead them out. Redfern helps too, I think. And then shit. Gets. Real. The machine gun they had isn’t holding them off and some damn zombies done came around the back entrance they created by destroying the fence, and they start CHOMPIN. 
Geena: AS KAE SAID… GIDEON AND DUMBITCH CO. MADE A WHOLE BACKDOOR FOR THE ZOMBIES IN AN ATTEMPT TO COVER UP HIS OWN MISTAKE… Reading about the fall was really sad, because this group of well meaning people WHO BTW AREN’T WHITE, that established a community where black and indigenous folk can find SOME SEMBLANCE of justice is overrun by zombies bc of a bitchass white boy’s hubris. So, the zombies get through the backdoor and as Jane and Katherine are slicing and dicing they stumble onto the group they traveled with.. Who also turned.. And Jane has to kill that little baby boy because he too, got turned into a zombie… Also, during the fall of Nicodemus Jane gets bit :( and separates from Katherine and Co. to die alone at the sheriff’s office… But then she doesn't… because back in book 1 when Gideon gave her a vaccine… it worked. So, Jane wakes up to Gideon… the last person she wants to see… who is basically gloating about his vaccine working and he’s making excuses for himself? Callie (a new friend) tries to kill Gideon, but he escapes and she ends up helping Jane instead… where Jane loses her arm :( 
Literally, a White Man’s ego can destroy a whole town built on the blood and sweat of freed slaves and indigenous people, JUST BECAUSE he thinks he knows better… 
Kae: So like, when Jane wakes up, she threatens to kill Gideon, even though she’s sick and basically puking the zombie virus out of her. While Gideon is gloating, Callie (Jane’s friend and future girlfriend) shoots towards Gideon, but misses. She then cuts off Jane’s bitten arm. The two of them spend a bit of time in the fallen Nicodemus, looking at all of the zombiefied townspeople and healing so they can leave. They both want to track down Gideon and KILL HIS ASS. Which I support. And now we venture into PART 2 OF THE BOOK BAYBEEEEE. 
The Ugly
→ Gideon
Kae: WE’RE GOING TO OFFICIALLY TALK ABOUT BITCHASS, SKANK-ASS GIDEON. Dawg, when I tell you I HAAATED this man, I mean it. I have never wanted a character to die more than I wanted Gideon to parish. This man caused the fall of not one, but MULTIPLE TOWNS AND THE WHOLE DAMN CITY OF SAN FRANCISCO. 
After the fall of Nicodemus, Jane and Callie set out to track down Gideon. On their tracking adventures, Jane becomes a bounty hunter in order to make money so she can continue on her search for Gideon. Jane is like, a hundred times more badass now. She’s a one armed, zombie slaying, bounty hunter that kills people who have done immense wrong to others. She and Callie learn through their travels that Gideon escaped safely and went on to get funded by some rich folk. In Gideon’s own escapades, he has caused the fall of another small town. And guess how he did that? This IDIOT vaccinated another town and they all turned ‘Shambler’ (zombie). Then he fucks off and escapes so he can’t get in trouble. Jane and Callie make it to California, where Jane hopes to reunite with her mother. There, she kills a man, which pisses Callie off. So while they’re shacked up in a hotel, Callie leaves while Jane is sleeping. And Callie’s punk ass takes all of Jane’s money with her, leaving Jane without anything but the clothes on her back. 
Geena: We don’t stan Callie in this house. If she loved Jane that much she would’ve left her SOME money wtf
Kae: TRUE. SO FUCK, CALLIE. LIL BIIIEEETCH. But yeah, Callie dips tf out and leaves Jane with nothing. Callie DID give Jane the option to come with her and start a new life, but Jane is kind of being fueled by her revenge and it’s blinded her. I feel bad too because Jane is also being haunted by Redjack’s ghost. So there’s that. 
Geena: Gideon the perfect example why ~intellectual~ men don’t deserve ANY rights. He’s so obsessed with his own research and bullshit, he thinks that no one knows what’s best for humanity other than him, that he brings about death and destruction wherever he goes. He’s the reason Nicodemus falls, he’s also the reason that the West Coast (which is seen as shambler free because it’s protected by mountains) also falls… BECAUSE THIS BITCH CAUSES ANOTHER SHAMBLER OUTBREAK with a faulty vaccine. When Jane and Callie decided to hunt him down I was like LIVING!!! LIKE KILL THAT WHITE BOY!! Who cares for nothing other than being successful… Also, the fact that every boy Jane has thought to be cute was trash is killing me… Girl… needs better taste HONESTLY…
Also, while trying to make himself look like a Sad Boy he forcefully injects his vaccine into Katherine… WHICH ALMOST KILLS HER, but SIIIKKEE because Katherine ends up killing him instead 😎 I personally wanted his death to be WORSE and more PAINFUL for all the shit he’s done but Justina Ireland kept it SHORT and Sweet. 
The Good
→ Jane and Katherine
Geena: THE ONE… THE ONE GOOD THING THAT CAME OUT OF THIS DUOLOGY… JANE AND KATHERIN’S FRIENDSHIP… LITERAL RIDE OR DIES... BC JANE TECHNICALLY DIES AT ONE POINT LMAO
Like Kae mentioned earlier, Katherine has fully accepted Jane as a friend by the time they get to Nicodemus, but Jane is still unsure (kinda thinks she isn’t a friend type of person). Katherin reaffirms that she will be there for Jane, but Jane is like Sideyes… But, as the story progresses, after Jane “dies” Katherine spends the rest of the novel constantly thinking of Jane and wishing she had said more.  ALL THE WHILE JANE is killing her way to the West Coast.
When they do meet though it kinda hurt because Jane is essentially like ‘Sorry, the old Jane can’t come to the phone right now... because she’s dead’ and Katherine is like ?????????. Jane believes herself to be a monster, because um… she’s just been bounty hunting bad people and because she’s driven by her rage against Gideon - IMO I don’t think that would’ve made her heartless or a monster, but Callie reiterates that she doesn’t like Jane like that (as a killer)… obviously, her resolve was weaker than Jane’s but n e ways. Katherine is also like ‘omg Jane killed that dude without remorse’ (Jane kills a r*pist in front of her, but Katherine doesn’t know what he did). REGARDLESS, uNLIKE SOMEONE (Callie) Katherine doesn’t give up on Jane and accompanies her wherever Jane goes because she knows she can bring back the old Jane and… when I tell you a bitch was emotional :’) AND ALSO THE ENDING WAS BEAUTIFUL though bittersweet
Kae: Okay, let me just say, from the bottom of my heart, that I absolutely adore Jane and Katherine’s friendship. Jane thinks it was built on their shared experience of being kidnapped, but in reality, it was built on their respect for each other. When Kate first saw Jane, she was SHOOK. And Jane was like ‘oh fuck, be cool. Act like you don’t care.’ and so that happened, as Geena explained above. But Katherine stuck around because that’s her best friend and you never give up on your best friend when they’re going through something. 
Jane continues to be a meanass to Kate, but Katherine ignores it to the best of her ability and pulls her knickers up and keeps by Jane’s side. In this, Katherine notices that Jane calls her by her full name instead of just “Kate”, which was something Jane always did because she knew it annoyed Katherine. So when Jane starts to let down her guard, she slips up and calls her “Kate” and this takes Katherine to the moon! She’s so excited to see her Jane coming back! But Jane is like “whoops, I'm showing feelings. Can’t let that shit happen” and she hunkers back down. 
While Jane was off being dead and bounty hunting, Katherine was on a boat (but I don’t remember doing what) with Lily and Sue (Sue is from Miss Prestons and Nicodemus) and her new friend, a man named Carolina. When they get to California, they realize that it’s not as black friendly as they’d hoped, but it’s presumably safe so that’s what matters. Katherine here’s that San Francisco might offer them a better life, so she and her gang make the trip to get there. That’s when they run into Jane and all the above happens. 
One of my favourite parts is Carolina not liking Jane because his first introduction is killing a man without hesitation. But Katherine is like “Pfffft, oh that’s just Jane! It’s FINE!” all the while internally she’s like ‘omgomgomg wtf’. And that’s when Katherine agrees to help Jane kill Gidon and also find her mother. 
In the end, they kill Gideon’s horrible ass and end up finding Jane’s mother safe and sound in a small settlement in the mountains called New Haven. Jane’s mother is happy to see Jane, but is totally dismissive of Jane's experience and all she had to do to get to her mother again. I felt really bad for Jane because she did EVERYTHING to get back to her mother and her mom was a DICK. Anyway, Jane leaves with Redfern so they can find a new place (as reluctant homies, not as a couple) and Katherine is like “AYO, YOU JUST GONE LEAVE ME WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE, BITCH? I SAID I’M YOUR BEST FRIEND SO WHERE WE GOIN!?” And then all three of them prance off into the sunset with a new goal of finding a better life and man, a bitch (aka me and Geena) were CRYIIIIING because it was so sweet and we just love two best friends who are down for one another.  
Geena: YEEEEEEESSSSSSS, the ending was bittersweet because like Kae mentioned, Jane had been searching for her mother and her Aunt Aggie hoping to find comfort in their arms. But.. when she got to New Haven, the old life she had been desperately longing for was no longer there. Aunt Aggie was dead and her mother had remarried, and like Kae said, she ignored everything Jane had been through- not wanting to share in her daughter’s sorrows. Jane quickly realized that this wasn’t the place for her, and up and leaves, and this is where the sweetness comes in because the whole scene of Katherine running after Jane 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 Like I had been so scared Justina Ireland wouldn’t give them a happy ending, because how can a zombie story end happily, but this was A LOT better than what I had expected… a bitch (Kae and I SDJKFNSD) teared up.. Just wanna thank Kae for hyping up this sequel before I read it because wow… IT REALLY LIVED UP TO THE HYPE 
Conclusion
Geena: Like I said before, this is one of the best sequels I’ve read. Usually, books end up falling flat when you get to the second but Justina Ireland didn’t fall into the same trap. We finally get Katherine’s POV and get to learn why she insists on wearing a corset, and that she’s not as perfect as Jane believed. There’s heart-stopping action and Jane kicking major ass and truly being The Devil’s Bride. Overall, once I finished this I was like Head Empty because I couldn’t read anything afterwards because I had to take time to digest the wild ride the book had been. Also, one of the biggest takeaways (other than ‘white ppl ain’t shit’) was ‘Men don’t deserve rights’ and honestly? Same.  
Kae: So there we have it! The story ended beautifully and I really, really enjoyed it. I still haven’t been able to read anything after finishing it because it was just THAT GOOD. It’s been about a month since I finished it and I’m still reeling from how beautifully written it was. It was really refreshing to read about two black women who had FEELINGS and were able to express them to the reader (because they had a hard time expressing them to each other lmao) and it was just really nice. Katherine’s backstory was great about how she was born in a brothel house and her mother tried to teach her that if she found the right man, she’d be fine. But Katherine didn’t want that. She wanted a life where she could provide for herself and be independent. What she brought with her from her old life was her corset and she wore because she basically felt it would hold her together and suppress her anxiety. 
Geena: Also, reading about the corset again can I say one of my fave details was Sue helping Katherine loosen it whenever they were in a fight… like the moment Jane disappeared Sue was there to help Katherine and support her …. Sue… the most underrated character AND THE FACT SHE GOT HER HAPPY ENDING MARRIED TO A MANS!!!!  
Kae: Jane learned, unfortunately, that not all things are golden. Her old life that she so desperately wanted a taste of, had gone sour. Her mother was no help to Jane and couldn’t even give her the smallest of sympathies. Those two things were initially what kept Jane going (along with her Aunt Aggie), until Gideon showed up and started doing dumb shit. What Jane also learned though, was that people do care about her and even though Katherine wasn’t blood, she was her family and truly loved Jane for who she was, flaws and all. 
It’s a beautiful story about two black women finding themselves and forming an unbreakable friendship. It’s more than fighting zombies and more than surviving. It’s about LIVING and finding a way to deal with all of the problems and anxieties they face along the way. It's a great story and I urge everyone to read it. Yes, it’s fictional history about zombies. BUT, it is very telling of the time period it takes place in and Justina didn’t sugar coat any of the prejudices Black people and Indigenous peoples went through back then and I appreciated that. Deathless Divide is beautiful and poetic and heartwarming in the best of way. <3 
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michellespenscratchz · 4 years ago
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#5 and #17
5. What character that you’re writing do you most identify with? Already answered this with Janey Springs, but a second runner up would be Fiona. I love her so much because she is basically every character I have ever played in D&D. My tabletop characters are always rogues or some kind of trickster. They will seek out a “behind the scenes” solution to a problem before they’ll attack it head-on. The only reason I haven’t written more fic of Fiona is because I was holding out for a BL3 DLC to give me more to go on, but since that’s apparently not going to happen I plan to pull out the stops and write her more often. :)
17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations? Oh, I have the same insecurities as every author and artist out there. I’m always nervous that readers aren’t into my work. As for what would surprise them, maybe the weird variety of fandoms I’ve been in over the years.
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romoladebardi · 5 years ago
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Tagged by @homoboreanaz and @vaingemini me cunts
rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people. no skipping!
1. ruiner - methyl ethyl
2. memento mori - rogue wave
3. smalltown boy - orville peck
4. as i go to see janey - the middle east
5. party in the dark - mogwai
6. parallel - anna mieke
7. walk the wire - boy & bear
8. earn enough for us - XTC
9. break my fall - doc robinson
10. i don't know - beastie boys, miho hatori
Can't think of people to tag but go crazy if you like
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dedicatedfollower467 · 5 years ago
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GG: I care very much for you, and I don't know what I'd do if I lost you both in my dreams, and here in this world. GG: So for whatever good it does, just please be extra careful out there today! GT: Roger that janey! GT: And um same goes for you about being careful what with these various rogues accosting you with foul play lately and whatnot... GT: Because well i sure do care a lot about you too you know that. 
anyone who claims the alpha kids are “noble gasses” who “don’t form bonds” is spewing a load of fucking horseshit.
these kids absolutely fucking love each other, they just have shit communication skills, are emotionally repressed, and don’t know how to be honest without stomping callously all over each other’s feelings.
the main difference between the alpha and beta kids is that the beta kids aren’t trying to tiptoe around a romantic n-drangle clusterfuck of explosive attraction and under-socialized teenage awkwardness. the alpha kids are trying so hard not to hurt each other’s feelings that they all end up accidentally hurting each other anyway. they can’t win, because it’s a catch 22, damned if they do damned if they don’t situation. no matter how it falls out, somebody’s feelings are going to be very badly hurt.
which is kinda why i love them all so much.
page: 4217
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epersonae · 6 years ago
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french. onion. soup.
So @tarkesians reminded me about Duck’s terrible snobby girlfriend, and at first I was sort of annoyed, but I can actually make it work with what I’ve got, so thanks for saving me from myself. (I also discovered that Janey is only supposed to be seven when Duck is 17 or 18? But I think I’m going to go rogue and keep her 14 in my fic, it just works better.)
Juno was about to bum a cigarette off of Duck — even if it was one of his dreadful cloves — but before she could, he launched himself off of the low wall and came up to grab her shoulder.
“I got something important to tell you,” he said, and his eyes were full of a totally unfamiliar intensity.
“Alright, spit it out,” she replied. All she could think was: did Duck get laid? Because he looked almost ecstatic, which she figured meant at least he didn’t get dumped.
“Have you? Ever had? French onion soup?”
She tilted her head. “I guess? I mean, my nana used to make it. It’s okay.”
“No no no nonono, you gotta go up topside and there’s a place, Wolf Ember? It is….” Duck stared off into space. “I’mma quit smoking, swear to god, so I don’t fuck up my sense of smell, because…. Fuuuuuuuck, Juno, French. Onion. Soup.”
“‘Kay. So I take it you had a good trip?”
He laughed, letting go of her shoulders finally. “Aw hell no. Fuckin’ sucked. You were right, I can’t ski for shit. Fell all the way down the goddamn hill.” Another laugh, the familiar self-deprecating tone. “Oh, and you were also right about Tabitha. Tried to tell her about the soup, but uhhhh turns out she was trying to dump my ass. It’s cool though.”
Juno nodded thoughtfully, or at least what she hoped was thoughtfully. “So if you ain’t smoking ‘em anymore, mind if I bum a smoke before class?”
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thelifetimechannel · 7 years ago
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lolainblue · 8 years ago
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Thunderbirds   Chapter 30
T/W: Alcohol use, smut
    Jared raised his cup. “Never have I ever slept with one of my teachers.”
   I left my cup sitting in front of me and looked over at the sofa where Jane sat next to Roger, shaking her head as she took a drink.  She had kept herself inches from him ever since she had gotten him back up from his crash on the sidewalk.  I'd never seen anyone's mood change as fast as Roger's had.  He'd barely spoken in the car and by the time we had started unwrapping the food we'd picked up he was fighting back tears while he talked about what a misfit and an emotional failure he was.  Jane had fed him and handed him tissues and held his head against her chest until the worst of it passed. Now that we were getting plowed his mood certainly seemed to be lifting.
   As I drank and watched them together, my brain slowly returned to its normal, slightly pickled state and my intuition that had been on vacation for the last three days returned. I began to gain some clarity and I saw Jane and Roger in a whole new light.  They were yin and yang on a completely different level. Roger's outer-self matched Jane's inner-self and vice versa.  Roger came off as this wild, adventurous, somewhat rogue-like figure, charismatic, optimistic and capable, the kind of person who problems seemed just roll off of, like water off a duck's back.  In reality, he was kind, tender, emotionally vulnerable and in need of approval.  He only seemed fearless because his natural personality was so over the top you just automatically assumed he had to be fearless to go through life that out there.  The truth was I think he just didn't know how to be anything other than what he was, and he was as desperate for love and validation as the rest of us.  And then there was Jane, who seemed so incredibly normal and practical and tenderhearted, but I was becoming increasingly convinced that was a facade built by years of trying to fit in and not be relentlessly picked on.  Inside she was the wild, fearless, resilient person Roger appeared to be.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous, there was a closeness there that I was sure Jane would never share with anyone else.  But then again, Jared and I had always been our own private club.  Just as Jane and Roger came as a package deal, so did Jared and I.  And since I liked Roger, and Jane and Jared mostly seemed to like each other, recent blood feud aside, I figured it was something I could learn to live with.
   The longer I watched them, and the more I saw the way Roger needed Jane's care, the more ashamed of my behavior that morning I became. This wasn't Jane blowing me off to go to a movie with her buddy. This was important.  And she was including me as much as she could in it.  I had been a complete fucking asshole. And that was the other startling revelation I was coming to.
   I had known Jane had become disillusioned with me after watching videos of me partying and goofing off with the guys.  I had tried to fix her disappointment by cleaning myself up the way I imagined she wanted. I'd cut way back on the drinking, quit partying and picking up girls and tried to become a more responsible version of myself.  After all, when people objected to me, those always seemed to be the reasons why. But that hadn't fixed what had upset Jane, all it had done was make me cranky and not much fun to be around.  Jane had objected to the way I was with other people, the way I had become arrogant, callous and rude.  She had told me on the phone that first night, but I had only heard the version of her objection I wanted to. It was easier to stay out of a few bars than to change the way I interacted with other people. No wonder she had flown off the handle the minute I started in with that bullshit. I had shown Jane just how right she had been. I was surprised she was still speaking to me.
  Kevin didn't last very long into the game, just as he seemed to be working up a good buzz he decided to call it a night.  I'm pretty sure he was going to call his girlfriend, which meant I'd be hearing about it tomorrow. Not too long after he left, Jane's phone rang.  I knew it was Angus before she said anything, just from the sick look on her face. She quieted us before answering.
   “Hey sweetie,” she answered.  Her voice was sugary but her face looked like she was smelling a dead rat. I was reminded again how very bad Jane was at deception.  I hoped she could pull this off. “How are things?”
   Jane got up from her spot on the sofa and started pacing the room as she listened to Angus spin whatever bullshit story he was using to cover up his little Italian rendezvous.  They continued their little chit chat for about five minutes, Jane telling Angus she had 'gone to visit friends' instead of seeing her brother this week.  He apparently wasn't happy about this, because Jane started spluttering and trying to explain why she hadn't come to see him.  Which really fucking pissed me off, I knew he didn't want her to fly out there, he wasn't even there, he just wanted to make her feel bad.  This guy was a real asshole. Jane eventually told him that Roger had broken up with his girlfriend, she was busy cheering him and wanted to get back to him and ended the phone call.  When she hung up she collapsed onto the bed.  The room was silent as we waited to see what her response was going to be, I was afraid she was going to start crying again, but she got back up and poured herself another shot and then locked eyes with Jared.
  “Never have I ever been faithful to someone I was engaged to.” Jared stared back at her. No one drank.  Well shit.  Why hadn't I thought of that tactic? Jane laughed dryly. “Well fuck me then,” she said, taking her penalty drink.
  “Janey....” I started cautiously but her face had turned stony and I knew the discussion was over.  
  “Isn't it your turn?” she asked Roger.  
  Roger quickly picked up his drink.  “Never have I ever told someone I loved them just so they'd have sex with me.”
   I took a drink before realizing how bad it would look, after everything Jane was already thinking about me.  If there was ever a time to cheat at his game, that would have been it.  But as I swallowed the last of the whiskey in my glass Jane looked at me like she had never seen me before.  “I was like sixteen, I was an asshole...” I tried to explain but she just shook her head and looked away.  I couldn't help glaring at Roger.  It was Jared's turn next.
  “Never have I ever called out the wrong name in the middle of sex.” I started to laugh but then Jane threw her shot back, got up, stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door. Roger rolled over onto his back on the sofa with a groan.  
  “Great timing there, asshole,” he said.  
  “What? Like I knew? What the hell is the big deal?” Jared walked over to the bathroom door and tapped on it softly.  “Jane? I'm sorry if I upset you. It's just a game. Don't be embarrassed.” There was no response from the other side and so Jared went to sit back down in the seat Jane had vacated.
   “Do I want to know why she's so upset?” I asked Roger.
  “That's her story to tell, not mine, “ he replied.  He shifted a little bit so that he could throw his legs across Jared's lap.  “So are we still drinking or are we going to wait for Lady Jane's tantrum to be over?”
  Jared grabbed the bottle of Ouzo that Jane and Roger had been sharing and refilled Roger's cup.  “We're still drinking.  Who's turn is it?
  “Kevin's.” I pointed out.  I thought about trying my hand at getting her to open the door back up but I figured she could probably use a few minutes to calm back down.  “I'll go.  Never have I ever required medical attention after sex.”
   That one was aimed at Jared.  He spluttered and laughed and took a big drink.  He didn't drink often anymore and he was already pretty sloshed at this point but I figured the easy laugh would lighten the mood.  
  “What the hell, man. I'm pretty adventurous and even I have never been that bad,” Roger snickered.  
  “Yeah, it's not as interesting as it sounds,” Jared explained.  “I fell off the bed.”
  “It's still a great Never Have I Ever question.” I pointed out.
   I waited for another few rounds and when Jane still hadn't come out I took my bottle and sat down in front of the bathroom door.  “Jan-ey,” I slurred at the small gap above the threshold.  “Please open the door.” When I got no response I laid flat on the floor, trying to peer through the tiny opening.  I thought I could make out the shadow of her feet but that was it.  “Please at least make some noise or something, let me know you're okay.”
  Three loud, slow, thumps came from inside the bathroom and I could almost hear the irritation in them.  I sighed and took another drink and prepared for a long wait.  
  Jared and Roger had stopped playing and were just drinking and talking instead.  Roger was going on about how some people just weren't cut out for relationships, that he should know better by now, that he really should just stick to sex, and Jared kept refilling his glass and agreeing with everything he said. I thought that was probably true for Jared, he always had other priorities, and I had been surprised when he told me about his plans to get married.  I hadn't given much thought to my own position on the subject.  I sort of thought of getting married like it was some inevitable thing that would probably happen to me but it wasn't anything I was chasing after or even particularly looking forward to.  I could take it or leave it.  I liked having Jane around, and every time we were together I immediately started pining for something more substantial than my usual flings, but even then I really never thought about what exactly that was.  What did I want from Jane, really? And what would she be willing to give me if I asked? Did she want me that way too? I was convinced she was the one for me when we were together in Los Angeles, but I was having a much harder time getting a read on her now.  
  “Janey, baby, please come to the door,” I called again, letting my knuckles fall lazily against the cheap plywood.  When she didn't respond I realized things had gotten strangely quiet. I turned over to look back at the sofa and saw Jared and Roger stretched out against each other, their legs tangled together, no longer talking.  I groaned and thumped my head against the carpet. “Could you two at least take it back to your room?” I asked, but they ignored me.  Jared just sighed and slipped his hand underneath Roger's shirt.  
  “Janey, help,” I pleaded, knocking a little more forcefully on the door.  “Please come get your best friend off my brother.”
   I could hear some shuffling around and I guess curiosity got the better of her because the door finally opened.  She looked at me, lying on the floor, heavy lidded and bottle in hand, and then looked over at the sofa where Jared and Roger were making wet little noises while they groped each other.  
   “I turn my back for fifteen minutes and this is what happens?” she said, barely hiding her amusement.  Roger sat up and gave her a sheepish shrug.  
  “Seriously, guys, I don't care what you do but don't do it in here,” I told them.  “I'm not in the mood for a foursome.”
  “Gosh, look at the time,” Roger said with a grin. “Jared, I think we'd better clear out so these two have plenty of time for bible study and prayer before bedtime.”
  Jared got up and held his hand out to Roger, who took it before standing up. “Yeah, Jane, don't forget to get down on your knees,” he said with a wink.  Then the two of them swept out of there, leaving Jane and me completely alone for the first time since Roger had swept into town.  
   I turned around and looked at Jane again.  She was still dressed casually, and her hair had been taken down from her ponytail, her curls allowed to run riot down her shoulders.  I was overcome with a powerful feeling of nostalgia, remembering another game of  Never Have I Ever,  where Jared and Roger slipped off together as I waited on Jane to emerge from the bathroom.  I decided it was long past time for a do-over.  I stepped in front of Jane.
   “New game.  Truth or Dare.  You choose dare,” I told her.  She immediately broke into a smile.  “I dare you to kiss me.”
   She closed the distance between us, grabbed the back of my head and crashed her mouth into mine.  When her tongue split the seam of my lips it tasted like it had been dipped in licorice.  I wished we'd had Goldschlager again instead. I preferred cinnamon.
   I pulled Jane backward towards the bed, my hands already traveling under her shirt since this time we had no need to worry about privacy.  To my surprise, she pushed them away.
  “Convince me,” she urged, her lips at my ear, warm breath tickling my skin and filling me with need.  “Don't assume I'm yours. Make me want to stay.”
   I stopped to look at her.  Her cheeks were red and her pupils dilated, and I wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or lust.  She was much drunker than that first night.  I wasn't even sure what she meant by that.  “Make me want to stay.”  Was she thinking of leaving me? Was she thinking of staying past this week? I pushed my questions aside and kissed her for all I was worth, diving into her like she was an oasis in a desert.  I could feel her breathing get quicker, her little sighs becoming soft moans as her song began again.  I dropped to my knees in front of her, planting a tender kiss on her stomach before wrapping my arms around her legs and resting my head.
  “Please, Janey,” I said.  My head was swimming and I wasn't sure if it was alcohol or lust in my case either.  “Please.”
   My last plea came out like a sob, and I realized I had been begging before I even knew what the question was.  “Please don't leave me again Jane.  Please want me as much as I want you.”
   Jane immediately dropped to her knees as well, pulling our heads together as she took in trembling breaths.  “Why don't you already know that I do?” she asked me.  “Besides Roger, you're the only thing in this world right now that I'm not confused about.”
   I heard the words but they still didn't penetrate whatever fog was around my heart.  I resumed kissing her again, as feverishly as before, my hands at her back cradling her against me as I devoured her.  She pulled my shirt over my head, her resistance melting away as unexpectedly as it had shown up.  
   Not wanting to chance whatever had happened on that motel room floor in the past I lead her back onto the bed, pulling her clothing away and covering every newly exposed inch of skin in wet kisses.  She purred and stretched beneath me as her mouth and fingers traveled my skin as it was revealed to her as well.  I nibbled my way down her stomach as I headed toward her core, eager to taste her, knowing how much she loved my tongue on her clit, but to my surprise, she pulled me back up to her.
   “Not this time, Shannon.  I need you inside me now.  Please.” Her breathing was ragged and her eyes were damp.  I didn't know what was happening but I knew I wanted to give Jane whatever she desired.  I moved over her, our mouths meeting for another powerful kiss and she reached between us, guiding my cock until our bodies met, pulling me into her while she shuddered around me.
   I stayed firmly pressed against her, my weight on one arm while my hand cradled her face.  She didn't scream for God or Krishna or Zeus this time.   She only wrapped her legs and arms around me, clutching me against her while she moaned my name like an incantation.  For the second time in twenty-four hours, I was lost to her, caught up in whatever magic spell it was that our bodies cast whenever they met. By the time we had finished, and she was tucked against my chest and drifting off to sleep, I felt, for the first time, like maybe we were really on the same page.  That everything was finally falling into place.
   It only made what happened the next night that much more puzzling
@msroxyblog @nikkitasevoli @maliciousalishious@meghan12151977 @mustlove6277 @fyeahproudglambert  @little-poptart @lady-grinning-soul-k
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aion-rsa · 6 years ago
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Watchmen Timeline Explained
https://ift.tt/2M1reVY
We've made a complete and chronological timeline of the events of Watchmen, from the original book to the HBO show. It...wasn't easy.
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This article contains nothing but spoilers for Watchmen, both the book and the HBO series.
HBO’s Watchmen is non-linear and occasionally confusing (or “infuriating” as Dr. Manhattan puts it) in its use of time. The book from which it draws inspiration is similarly non-linear and occasionally confusing in its use of time. To make matters even trickier, the show expands upon and even retcons events that take place or are alluded to in the book.
So what’s a fan to do? Why, make a complete and chronological Watchmen timeline, of course! That’s a perfectly sane and normal activity for any well-adjusted adult, and it certainly didn’t give me any severe migraines or make me question my own perception of time at any point. Nope. None at all.
read more - Watchmen: Unanswered Questions We Have From the Finale
To compile this complete Watchmen timeline, I only used stated dates from the book by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, dates and events from the show itself, dates noted in HBO’s official supplemental materials, Peteypedia, and the occasional date from actual real life (for example, the birth of lawman Bass Reeves). I don’t consider DC’s Before Watchmen prequels canon (and apparently neither does this show) but I DID cheat and use dates from some long out-of-print Watchmen roleplaying game supplements that Alan Moore consulted on to date a couple of events from the book. 
Now, let's get to work...
July 1838 - Bass Reeves born.
1908 - Nelson Gardner (Captain Metropolis) born.
1915 - Will Reeves born.
1918 - Obie Williams, Will Reeves’ father and the great-grandfather of Angela Abar, serves during World War I. It’s here he picks up (and keeps) a German propaganda flier indicating that there’s more racial equality in Germany than there is in the United States. He carries it with him until passing it on to Will.
May 25, 1921 - Trust in the Law, a silent movie about Bass Reeves, premieres.
May 31 - June 1, 1921 - The Tulsa Race Massacre takes place. Will Reeves and June Abar escape Tulsa.
1936 - Hans Osterman takes his son Jon from Germany to England to escape the rise of the Nazis. There they stay with other refugees in an English manor home, sheltered by a kind young couple, who later inspire Dr. Manhattan to create life in their image.
Nelson Gardner honorably discharged from the Marines.
1938 - Will Reeves (Hooded Justice) and Hollis Mason (Nite Owl I) graduate from the New York Police Academy.
Spring 1938 - Action Comics #1, the first appearance of Superman is published. Will Reeves and others take notice. The arrival of superheroes as a publishing phenomenon inspires a number of people to put on costumes and fight crime. Ironically, the presence of real world superheroes ends up killing them as a viable genre in comic books, where other genres such as pirate stories instead become dominant in the form and pop culture.
Oct. 1938 - After intervening in a mugging after he had been the victim of a racist attack by his police office colleagues, Will Reeves makes his costumed debut as Hooded Justice.
1939 - Hollis Mason debuts as Nite Owl. The Silhouette, The Comedian, Silk Spectre I, Captain Metropolis, Dollar Bill, and Mothman, all inspired by the exploits of Hooded Justice and Nite Owl, make their crimefighting debut shortly after. 
July 2, 1939 - Adrian Veidt born.
Mid 1939 - The Minutemen form.
March 21, 1940 - Walter Joseph Kovacs (Rorschach) born.
Oct. 2, 1940 - Edward Blake sexually assaults Sally Jupiter (Silk Spectre I) after a meeting of the Minutemen. Hooded Justice intervenes and severely beats Blake. Blake is expelled from the Minutemen shortly after.
1942 - Nelson Gardner (Captain Metropolis) puts crime fighting career on hold to serve in the Marines during World War II. The Comedian joins the war effort, beginning a long career as a government agent and super soldier.
Sept. 18, 1942 - Dan Dreiberg (Nite Owl II) born.
Aug. 7, 1945 - Atomic Bomb dropped on Hiroshima, Jon Osterman’s life path changes from being a watchmaker to a nuclear physicist.
1946 - Minutemen member The Silhouette is outed as a lesbian in the press, kicked off the team, and subsequently murdered by an old enemy.
1947 - Sally Jupiter quits Silk Spectre career.
1948 - Sally Jupiter and Edward Blake conceive Laurie Juspeczyk (FBI Agent Laurie Blake on the show) in a secret, consensual sexual encounter.
Autumn, 1948 - Jon Osterman accepted to Princeton.
1949 - Laurie Juspeczyk (FBI Agent Laurie Blake) born, the Minutemen disband.
Dec. 1, 1949 - Judd Crawford born.
1952 - Will Reeves (Hooded Justice) uncovers the Cyclops mass hypnosis plot and executes several of their members. 
1954 - The remaining members of the Minutemen are called before the House UnAmerican Activities Committee and asked to reveal their identities in testimony. Hooded Justice disappears after refusing to reveal his identity to HUAC.
1955 - Circus strongman Rolf Muüller found dead. While this fact was never made public, Muller was murdered by Edward Blake, who believed him to be Hooded Justice, in an act of revenge for the beating he received at HJ’s hands in 1940.
J. David Keene gifts Judd Crawford’s father with a replica of George Catlin’s painting, “Martial Feats of Comanche Horsemanship.”
1956 - Sally Jupiter divorces Laurence Schexnayder. Adrian Veidt begins traveling the world and preparing for his crime fighting career.
1958 - Adrian Veidt makes costumed debut as Ozymandias.
Spring 1958 - Jon Osterman graduates Princeton with a PhD in Atomic Physics.
May 12, 1959 - Jon Osterman begins work at Gila Flats, site of the intrinsic field generator, and meets Janey Slater.
August 1959 - Jon Osterman trapped in Intrinsic Field Generator and torn to atoms.
November 1959 - Jon Osterman “returns” as Dr. Manhattan after reassembling his physical form on the atomic level.
March 2, 1960 - Dr. Manhattan’s existence revealed to the world.
May 1960 - DC Comics begins publishing Tales of the Black Freighter, a pirate comic by Max Shea and Joe Orlando.
June 17, 1960 - Dr. Manhattan meets Adrian Veidt (Ozymandias) for the first time.
May 16, 1962 - Nite Owl I (Hollis Mason) retires.
1963 - Under the Hood, Hollis Mason’s memoir about the Minutemen and his time as Nite Owl is published. Among other things, this popularizes the (incorrect) theory that Rolf Müller was actually Hooded Justice.
March 20, 1964 - Walter Joseph Kovacs begins crimefighting as Rorschach
1965 - Rorschach partners with Nite Owl II
April 14, 1966 - Nelson Gardner (Captain Metropolis) tries and fails to put together a new superhero team, the Crimebusters. Dr. Manhattan first meets Laurie Juspeczyk. Laurie first meets Edward Blake.
May 1966 - Dr. Manhattan begins romantic relationship with Laurie Juspeczyk (Silk Spectre II).
Aug. 26, 1966 - Janey Slater leaves Dr. Manhattan after learning of his affair with Laurie Juspeczyk.
1967 - Adrian Veidt exposes “a plot by rogue right wing extremists in the US military to test biological weapons on the citizens of Nairobi and the surrounding areas.”
1968 - Adrian Veidt begins formulating his master plan to bring about world peace.
March 1971 - Dr. Manhattan intervenes in Vietnam and meets Edward Blake.
June 1971 - The United States declares victory in Vietnam, marking the first VVN night. Edward Blake murders a vietnamese woman carrying his child while Dr. Manhattan stands by and does nothing.
1972 - Fogdancing by Max Shea, an important and influential work of literature in the Watchmen universe, is published.
Aug. 9, 1974 - Nelson Gardner killed in automobile accident in New York City.
1975 - Constitutional amendment abolishing Presidential term limits passed, allowing Richard Nixon to seek re-election. Ozymandias retires and reveals his identity to the public. Rorchach’s activities become more brutal in the wake of a kidnapping case he solved.
March 3, 1975 - Will Reeves is presented with the contents of Nelson Gardner’s will in New York City. Will Reeves is working at a movie theater in Harlem at the time.
1976 - Judd Crawford marries Jane Lestley. Angela Abar born.
Nov. 22, 1976 - Calvin Jelani born.
June 1977 - A superhero exploitation movie called Sister Night is released in Vietnam. It would later go on to influence young Angela Abar.
Aug. 3, 1977 - Nationwide police strike and civil unrest leads to the passage of the Keene Act, outlawing masked vigilante activity. While Silk Spectre and Nite Owl II retire in light of the new law, Rorschach refuses.
1979 - The Comedian frees American and Canadian hostages from Iranian “anti-Manhattanite extremists.”
1980 - Judd Crawford joins the Oklahoma County Sheriff’s Department
Early October 1985 - Edward Blake (The Comedian) drunkenly confesses to Edgar William Jacobi (Moloch) the details he has learned of Adrian Veidt’s plan.
Oct. 12, 1985 - Edward Blake (The Comedian) is murdered by Adrian Veidt (Ozymandias). Rorschach begins an investigation and notifies Dan Dreiberg (Nite Owl II) of Blake’s death.
Oct. 13, 1985 - Rorchach notifies Adrian Veidt, Laurie Juspeczyk, and Dr. Manhattan of Blake’s death.
Oct. 16, 1985 - Edward Blake’s funeral.
Oct. 19, 1985 - Dr. Manhattan leaves Earth for Mars, a result of continued public pressure after information planted by Adrian Veidt leads the world to believe that Dr. Manhattan’s presence causes cancer.
Oct. 20, 1985 - Russia invades Afghanistan, bringing the world to the brink of World War III.
Oct. 21, 1985 - Rorschach arrested for violating the Keene Act, framed for the murder of Edgar William Jacobi (Moloch).
Oct. 28, 1985 - Nite Owl and Silk Spectre II return to active duty as costumed adventurers to rescue people from a burning building in lower Manhattan.
Oct. 31, 1985 - Nite Owl and Silk Spectre II break Rorschach out of jail. Hollis Mason (Nite Owl I) is murdered by a gang of Knot-Tops who believe that he’s the same Nite Owl responsible for breaking Rorschach out of prison.
Nov. 1, 1985 - Nite Owl and Rorschach head to Karnak, the Antarctic retreat of Ozymandias, to confront Adrian Veidt about his plans. 
On Mars, Laurie Juspeczyk convinces Dr. Manhattan to intervene on behalf of  humanity, and learns the truth about her parentage. 
Lady Trieu conceived when her mother artificially inseminates herself with Veidt’s genetic material.
Fogancing author Max Shea, and anyone who can connect Adrian Veidt to 11/2 is killed. Rorschach’s journal is delivered to the New Frontiersman offices.
Nov. 2, 1985 - 3 million killed in New York City after Veidt teleports a giant, telepathic, genetically engineered squid into midtown Manhattan. The ensuing chaos averts World War III and ushers in a new era of global cooperation. Intermittent squid rains begin shortly after.
Across the Hudson River in Hoboken, NJ, young Wade Tillman survives the psychic shockwave unleashed by the squid, and is severely traumatized, putting him on a path that leads to him becoming Detective Looking Glass back home in Tulsa, OK.
Rorschach killed by Dr. Manhattan. 
Dr. Manhattan leaves Earth for Europa, begins terraforming the planet and creating life.
December 1985 - Dan Dreiberg and Laurie Juspeczyk assume new identities as Sam and Sandra Hollis. At some point in the next few years, Dan founds Merlincorp and begins providing Nite Owl technology to police departments.
July 1986 - Lady Trieu born.
Mar. 21, 1986 - New Frontiersman begins printing excerpts from Rorschach’s Journal. They’re widely dismissed as the ravings of a crank, and the general public doesn’t believe Adrian Veidt had anything to do with the events of 11/2/85.
c.1988 - Richard Nixon dies in office. Gerald Ford takes over as President.
1992 - Robert Redford defeats Gerald Ford to become the new President of the United States.
Jan. 21, 1993 - Robert Redford sworn in as President, and learns the truth about Adrian Veidt’s involvement in 11/2 via a videotaped confession.
1993 - The Tech Recall and Reintroduction Act is passed, “reintroducing technologies once deemed unsafe or illegal back into the public space” after the paranoia brought on by the events of 11/2. 
c. 1994 - Steven Spielberg releases Pale Horse, a movie about the events of 11/2/1985.
April 19, 1995 - Dan Dreiberg and Laurie Juspeczyk arrested for violations of the Keene Act, in the process of stopping Timothy McVeigh from carrying out the Oklahoma City bombing.
April 28, 1995 - Merlincorp, the technology company owned and operated by Dan Dreiberg and that provides police with crimefighting tech (and Laurie with that crazy Dr. Manhattan dildo), is raided by the FBI. 
1999 - Veidt Enterprises licenses cloning technology. Eventually Lady Trieu uses this technology to clone her mother, Bian.
2004 - Judd Crawford becomes a detective in the Tulsa PD.
2007 - Adrian Veidt’s final public appearance, accepting Kenya’s highest civilian honor, the Chief of the Order of the Golden Heart. Trieu Pharmaceuticals launches Nostalgia.
2008  - The Victims of Racial Violence Act, known by some as “Redfordations” passed.
Lady Trieu first confronts Adrian Veidt in Karnak about her identity and her plans to surpass his accomplishments and make the world a better place.
June 2009 - Dr. Manhattan meets Angela Abar in Mr. Eddy’s bar on VVN Night. Several weeks later, he takes the form of the deceased Calvin Jelani.
Dec. 13, 2009 - Dr. Manhattan, in the form of Calvin Jelani, visits Adrian Veidt in Karnak. Veidt gives Dr. Manhattan a device that will neutralize his powers and his memories so he can live a normal life with Angela Abar. 
Dr. Manhattan sends Adrian Veidt to Europa, the moon of Jupiter where he has been creating life.
Dr. Manhattan meets with Will Reeves.
With the onset of his Veidt-assisted amnesia, Dr. Manhattan “officially” assumes the identity of Calvin Jelani, after taking his form for several months prior.
2010 - Trieu Industries begins launching space probes.
Dec. 13, 2010 - Adrian Veidt celebrates his first anniversary on Europa.
Dec. 13, 2011 - Adrian Veidt celebrates second anniversary on Europa. To celebrate, he puts on a play dramatizing how Jon Osterman became Dr. Manhattan.
2012 - Adrian Veidt declared missing on Earth.
Dec. 13, 2012 - Adrian Veidt “celebrates” his third anniversary on Europa and begins formulating his plan to escape. He runs afoul of the mysterious Game Warden.
2013 - Adrian Veidt uses the bodies of his servants to spell out the words “Save me daughter” on the surface of Europa, just in time for one of Trieu Industries’ space probes to fly by and see it. Shortly after, Veidt is put on trial by the inhabitants of Europa for attempting to escape. 
read more: Watchmen Finale Explained
2015 - The trial of Adrian Veidt concludes, and he is sent to prison.
Dec. 24, 2016 - The White Night. “Mike” a member of the 7th Kavalary is mysteriously teleported to Gila Flats during his attack on the Abar residence, raising suspicions that Dr. Manhattan is alive and well and living in Tulsa.
2017 - Trieu Industries acquires Veidt Enterprises. Angela Abar adopts the identity of Sister Night in order to continue her police work. A Trieu Industries spacecraft lands on Europa to collect Adrian Veidt and bring him back to Earth.
2018 - Judd Crawford becomes chief of police in Tulsa. Lady Trieu breaks ground on the Millennium Clock.
Sept. 9, 2019 - Adrian Veidt officially declared presumed dead. John Grisham retires from the Supreme Court.
Sept. 16, 2019 - Judd Crawford dies. This is where the events that take place in the present day on the show begin, and they take place over the span of three weeks. 
Mike Cecchini is the Editor in Chief of Den of Geek. You can read more of his work here. Follow him on Twitter @wayoutstuff.
Read and download the Den of Geek Lost in Space Special Edition Magazine right here!
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[A6A6I5] ====>
JANE: Wow, I feel so out of tha liznoop! Anotha dogg house production. Sorry if I still seem disoriented from mah... nap, I suppoze it was? JIZZAY: I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. Or impromptu troll-coma. JIZZY now motherfuckers lemme here ya say hoe: Roxizzle, yizzou hizzay ta clizzay me in on what happened hizzy! Where be Dirk n Jizzake? JANE: N fo` tizzy killa, Jizzohn, where be yo' otha niggaz? Oh, Jade! Where be she? Be she still asleep?
ROXY: hey jizzle thizzay be all like a lot of sizzy ta say n everyth'n goin on here be faaairly complicated n heavily peopled ROXY: Wussup to all my niggaz in the house. dont worry ill eaze you into comprehend'n shiznit again  fo yo bitch ass;) ROXY: W-to-tha-izzell ok clizziff notes be: jake fucked off somewhere n diznirk recently fucked off BACK hizzle through a windizzle but he lizzle again prizzle quick... ROXY: dizzay went wit dizzy at whereva they fuck'n off tizzoo now, i thizzink ta git ready for sizzle swords fightin, n yeah jade be S-T-to-tha-izzill asleep but a coupla trolls lizzle hustla off somewhere siznafe fo` now ROXIZZLE: tha R-TO-THA-IZZEST of tha jizzunk im still sort'n out myself bcs like i said im new ta dis exact plane of shenanigans
JIZZY: Yizzes, you mentioned that. JANE: I S-T-to-tha-izzill don't kizzy what yiznou meant by... JIZNANE: Nigga get shut up or get wet up. Wizzay! JANE paper'd up: You n John cizname from anotha reality, where everyth'n wizzay horribly, right?
ROXY: m-hmmm!
JIZZANE: I just remembered. Really, it bizzeen such a rollercoasta rizzy fo` mah memorizzle, sizzle I fizzell aslizzle. JANE: Yo' n John travels wizzy a critical pizzart of tha illustrated story we recizzle through our memories W-to-tha-izzith Callie.
ROXIZZLE: wat! ROXY fo' real: you saw cizzle 'n yo' dreams????
J-TO-THA-IZZANE: I did!
ROXY: hoh dawg RIZZLE: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. how be she, niggaz, better recognize! ROXY droppin hits: i sizzy ha 'n a dream a shawty whizzile ago n we talked 'bout lots of stuff RIZZLE: shizzay looked like a T-R-to-tha-izzoll then
JANE: Yes, ha trizzle! She hizzle rappa on whizzle I sizzaw ha fo gettin yo pimp on. JIZZANE: N we hizzle ours on tiznoo!
ROXY:  gangsta style:O F-TO-THA-IZZUCK
JIZZANE: She seemed ta be ridin' well keep'n it real yo. J-TO-THA-IZZANE: Hollaz to the East Side. Nervous, of courze, since she wizzy hid'n. But we pasze' tha tizzime wit our stories. J-TO-THA-IZZANE: It was a lot of fun! I'm so stoked I gizzle ta meet ha. JANE: I wonder if I'll ever git tha chance again?
ROXY: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. wellll... ROXY dogg: now that u mention it ROXIZZLE: Wussup to all my niggaz in the house. it BE one of mah chief objectives ta go lizzle fo` hustla asizzle ROXY in tha hood: aaizzle nizzay ta be THIZZAT ROGUE n B-R-to-tha-izzag all heavy but i MAY be 'n bizzle touch wit mah void pimp now ROXIZZLE: soo mizzle i stizzand a p giznood chance of trizzle ha down? ROXY: cus i GOTS somethin fo` ha
JANE: You do ya dig?? What? :B
ROXY: jiznust a shawty presie, nbd
JANE: ... JIZZY: I see.
ROXY: JK IT BE CRUCIAL FUKKIN BL'N JANEY ROXY: ONE (1) PRICELESS DIZZLE DONUT!!! ROXIZZLE: W/ MIZZLE KARATS THAN A RIZZLE TIZZY FIZNAT FOR A HOLE ROXIZZLE doggystyle: (s'magic ta)
JIZZLE: WOW!!!!!!!!!! JIZZLE: Ahizzle, so, JANE: You mean a r'n, thizzay.
JOHN: yeah! JOHN: oh dawg, that a bootylicious idea roxizzle to increase tha peace. JIZZLE: you sizzy try n give it ta ha as soon as yizzou cizzle dogg! JOHN dogg: T-H-to-tha-izzen maybe we can all meet ha before we riznamp up fo` dis battle?
ROXY fo my bling bling: hmm yeh! ROXY: u tizzy i can do it?
JIZZOHN: You gotta check dis shit out yo. sure!
ROZE: I like yo' chances tizzay. ROSESPRITE: S-to-tha-izzame!
JASPIZZLE: Me tiznoo roxy! :3
ROZE: I also have some experience dippin' thugz along 'n tha right direction, whizzle it comes to navigat'n tha abyss. ROZE: Mizzay I could assist cuz its a doggy dog world? RIZZLE: yizzle M-to-tha-izzaybe!
ROSESPRITE: I'm P-R-E-Double-Tizzy sure I have experience perform'n literallizzle tha exact sizzame task, 'n a slightly differizzle context with the S-N-double-O-P. ROSESPRITE so sit back relax new jacks get smacked: So maybe I can dizzouble assizzle?
JOHN: sizzee roxy? everyone T-H-to-tha-izzinks yizzy should do it, coz they all bizzle 'n you.
JANE: Thiznat's rizzy!
ROXY: shizzucks fucka ._. ROXY: yizzay killin me here <3
JASPERSPRITE: Meow im so stoked!
ROXY with my forty-fo' mag: frigglish u sizzle bastard whiznats up?
JASPERSPRITE: P-to-tha-izzurr purr purr... JASPERSPRITE: All tha humans bein so close pusha n stoked and friendly purr piznurr upside yo head. JASPERSPRITE: Its mak'n me reallizzle excitizzle and stoked too n mak'n me feel lizzy i want to be a part of mackin' fo gettin yo pimp on! JASPERSPRITE: Purr purr n git cloze ta a nearby persizzle n be stoked at thizzay wit mah body purrrr...
ROSIZZLE: Jaspa, what be you...
JASPERSPRITE: I cant help it roze i want ta C-to-tha-izzuddle im feel'n so pleaze' n friendly! :3 :3 :3
ROSESPRITE: Gangsta, no, ROSESPRITE: No, dizzon't!
> [A6A6I5] ====>
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tinymixtapes · 8 years ago
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Twin Peaks music supervisor releases the show’s “unofficial ambient score” on Sacred Bones
SHOWTIME® just sent us the remaining episodes of the new Twin Peaks series, and — spoiler alert — it’s going to be CRAZY! Here’s a little taste of what to expect: Mr. C gets lonely and creates a ton of additional Dougies to cheer him up; Janey-E divorces the original Dougie but marries a different one at Club Silencio (whose best man is another Dougie!); Gordon shouts “hot dog!” upon discovering Briggs’s head below a convenience store owned by one of the Dougies; Tammy investigates the “spiritual mound” with a team of Dougies; Wally hits the open road (his dharma) searching for a couple rogue Dougies; and, finally, Richard Horne frames one of the Dougies for the truck incident, but everyone’s happy about it because that specific Dougie was kinda annoying anyway. Oh yeah, and Sheriff Truman brutally murders Andy!! So weird. Anyway, to get you prepared for the Dougie takeover, Dean Hurley — the show’s sound/music supervisor, frequent Lynch collaborator, and drummer of the series’s fictitious band Trouble — has released “an unofficial ambient score to Twin Peaks” called Anthology Resource Vol. 1: △△. The press release describes the music as ranging from “ethereal tones to sputtering electricity to densely brooding musical cues.” In other words, it’s not the kind of stuff we’re hearing at the Roadhouse, but the kind ringing from the corners of the Great Northern Hotel or violently buzzing from an electrical outlet — you know, TMT sorta stuff. Anthology Resource Vol. 1: △△ is out now digitally and out soon on vinyl via Sacred Bones. Listen to “Eastern European Symphonic Mood No. I” below, and then prepare to see Jon Snow and Daenerys incestuously hooking up Andy horrendously mutilated by Sheriff Truman in Part 16. Ouch! Anthology Resource Vol. 1: △△ tracklist: 01. Intro Cymbal Wind 02. Night Electricity Theme 03. Electricity I 04. Weighted Room / Choral Swarm 05. Tube Wind Dream 06. Tone / Slow Speed Prison / Low Mood 07. Slow One Chord Blues (Interior) 08. Interior Home by the Sea 09. Low Sustained Mystery 10. Angel Choir Reveal 11. Seven Heaven 12. Eastern European Symphonic Mood No. 1 13. Black Box 14. Girl Appears / Black Smoke 15. Shanghai Mysterioso 16. Forest / Interior 17. Electricity II 18. Future / Past http://j.mp/2hJjuLj
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redantsunderneath · 8 years ago
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[Twin Peaks spoilers] The Third Man – Dale Cooper and America’s (current) midlife crisis
I have two understandings about the original show that could shed some light on the nature of the third manifestation of Dale Cooper (I’ll call them doppelCoop who is the dirty murderous one, OGCoop who escapes from the red room, and doucheCoop who is married to Janey-E).
One is that a major theme of the original show is the baby boomer mid-life crisis as a crisis in America. Specifically, the conflict created by the identity rift between the hippie ideal and the reality of becoming “the man.” This plays out largely in relation to Ben Horne (Richard Beymer), shady business man who has an actual crisis where he tries to flip the outcome of a major historical event to (up is down, down is up) create the timeline where he wound up the “good” version of the 60s vision.
He is aided/abetted in this quest by several foils – his brother Jerry who gives personification to the hedonistic tendencies that led him astray; Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn), the road not taken of the spiritual seeker aspect of the generation who is currently a little worse for wear (as is what was left of that spirit); and two younger reflections in Bobby, who is trying to emulate him, and Audrey who is rejecting the very basis for his current life. Jacoby is especially interesting due to casting – the two were male leads in West Side Story, where Beymer played the leader and Tamblyn the heart of the gang. Later, Beymer dated Sharon Tate and Tamblyn gave a ride to Charles Manson. That they wind up in this position on the show fits the paths of the dual sides of the male 60s psyche. Do you throw responsibility away and Easy Ride it or stay bathed in the world you were sucked into then made, having to face what you’ve become.
It is evident that this is not just an inner war in men of Frost’s age but a struggle for the soul of the culture. The Regan years had the boomers struggling frantically to both live in the hyper material world and convince themselves they had not sold out. The vestiges of closer community, living less compromised lives, and a deeper seeking of understanding were relegated to crackpot behavior, as Jacoby illustrates. Jerry plays the smirking unbridaled id of the generation. Meanwhile, Bobby and Audrey are straight out of Family Ties – Alex trying to emulate the capitalist and Mallory criticizing the materialism (while depending on it). This is a nice assemblage of mirror relationships with Ben at the center.
The second thing is the nature of Cooper himself. His white knight nature tends to obscure the darker facets hinted at in the character. He is a guy with an obsession with women who have desires and are destroyed when they afoul of bad men, or rather when the existence is crushed by a system of dominant male will. He wants to protect them, these women who try to become people and explore who they are in a world of a reinforcing cycle of predatory maleness, but he is completely entangled in the system that causes it. He must save the Judys, the May Queens. But he places himself into a position where it is too late. Coop’s obsession is also a national/worldwide thing – the need for upstanding men to revere and witness the defilement of women, to venerate and annihilate them for standing up. It also kind of cheats as an extension of the Boomer story - he exemplifies all the positive attributes of the culture the 60s reacted against, a firm belief in the goodness of this without seeing how those aspects are entangled with the bad beyond his ability through personal force of will to only allow the good to out.
Coop joins the FBI for this reason. He is attracted to this idea of women, as an opportunity for acting good in a world characterized by the bad side he rejects (but must watch as it consumes so many). This is not healthy or good. However he only uses violence when he has to and he is trying to “fix his heart.” Earle screws this up good. What I believe happens in the real world that corresponds to the events in the Black Lodge is that Coop enters the cycle of male violence and domination by killing Earle in anger as, in the striking down of Annie, he loses hope that he can ever forge a relationship that allows him to see women as people.
This is the Coop that we see at the beginning of the new season. Metaphorically, the good angels of Coop’s nature are “locked up” in his mind while the version made of his suppressed darkness runs free. Meanwhile he has manufactured an identity of a middle aged schlubb who is faithless and without a real compass. There are three Coops… if we take this as a metaphorical story, what does this mean?
DoucheCoop is the Coop the world sees – a given up, going through the motions tool. His wife means little to him and he seeks cowardsy thrills, shirking responsibility, living in the capital city of self-indulgence. DoppleCoop is how he has chosen to see himself – the rogue, sexy adventurer to whom life and sex are cheap. But he is in a moment of crisis. The better angels of his nature seek to reassert themselves. He pushes his manufactured self aside, but his wife and child have begun to see this better side, unfamiliar with the world, start to hesitantly come out. His self-image wants this OGCoop, good Coop, dead, but attempts to make this happen all seem to fail (wonder why...).
The slipping of the manufactured identity shows up visually as a literal war between the small gold core left in him and the toxic oozing cratered planet of disgust that is how he esteems himself. The kernel of good seems to win. We need to see how this plays out precisely, but I think the Coops need to merge – the good Coop needs the dark Coop to be whole but control needs to be reasserted by the light side. Good riddance to the “face he showed the world.” Again, this appears to be political commentary as well as psychodrama. The country is allegorically presented as at war between a mean, violent conspiracy of self interest and the nation’s good impulses which have been dormant and now are kind of fumbling around. This is all with the public image of a tasteless, rudderless, hedonistic nihilistic populous with money problems. I think this is just another presentation of the mid-life crisis of rapacious materialism vs. soul 25 years later... a bit more up to date. Does the western world give into its impulse to cruise around in a cool car with long hair bangin’ chicks like it has been or does it rediscover some fundamental reason to live. That’s for episodes 5-18 to tell. (spoilers… it chooses the later)
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nora-reads-homestuck · 8 years ago
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A6A1 Impressions
Hey all! I’m back with my impressions from Act 6 Act 1. This one will necessarily be a bit shorter than previous impressions posts, but the plus side is that I’ll be doing more of them, one for each Act Act! (God, that feels weird to say. Like... I’m a Martian or something.) Anyway, here goes!
The Characters:
We didn’t see any of the original, pre-Scratch human kids or the trolls we know and love this Act Act. However, we met some new human kids who are all their own brand of weird/annoying/lovable!
Jane: Jane, Jane, Janey Jane. Strangely, though they have almost nothing to do with each other at this point, I’m getting some of the same feelings toward her as I got for Rose all through Acts 4 and 5. A bit of readerly frustration that she’s not doing or thinking the things I know she needs to in order to be truly successful at the game, if for different reasons. Rose was overconfident, a loner, but Jane is stubbornly (but pretty justifiedly, let’s be honest) refusing to take anything she hears at face value. Batterwitch? Couldn’t be. Entering a game to go to a new world? Malarkey. I think it stems from the fact that, all the way back in Act 1, it would have seemed just as improbable, but I’m getting to this having come off Act 5, and I know it all to be true. And Jane can’t be blamed for wanting to continue living in her perfect world, where she’s the heiress and her friends’ problems can’t touch her! I’m a bit worried that she might not take it in stride when she does get dumped into Sburb, and finds out everything she’s been hearing is true. She’s... a bit of a princess. But that’s alright; I still like her a lot!
Jake: Strangely, I’m still not sure what to make of Jake. On the surface level, he’s kind of ditzy, perpetually harangued, loves guns and adventure, indiscriminate in his movie tastes, and prone to outdated slang like Jane (obviously a joke in reference to the fact that his alt self grew up in the 1910′s and 20′s). Seems like there ought to be plenty to work with there. However... none of that really equates to a deeper personality. Is he insecure like Tavros? Overconfident, like Eridan? What do all the Lord English parallels mean? Will be become Lord English eventually? Mystery after mystery. I guess that’s not so unusual seeing how thinly Hussie strung tidbits about Jade, but still, I feel like it’s not enough to go on to really get a solid impression of his character. Hopefully we’ll get more later!
LittleLonde: BE STILL MY HEART. There have been plenty of Homestuck characters it’s taken me a while to warm up to, but LittleLonde is not one of them. She’s so sweet and cheery, encouraging her friends without harassing them, even if she’s worryingly drunk. (Seriously, what is UP with Rose allowing that to happen.) She’s also fucking adorable. I am a bit concerned that my assessment of her as a Cassandra character is accurate, and the Batterwitch really is poised to exploit the inevitability of them entering the game. LittleLonde, like Bro, seems to know a whole lot on the subject, and I wonder where that knowledge comes from. Rose, UU, or both? TipsyGnostalgic would seem to be quite the appropriate chumhandle.
Bro: Bro is for sure the kid we’ve heard the least from, and that’s not surprising, given how elusive his pre-Scratch older self was. Judging by the scant exposure I’ve had to him so far, he’s a narcissistic, dry, rude, but highly intelligent roboticist/AI programmer with ill-concealed pants feelings for Jake. He even claimed that he’s going to be the one pulling the strings behind this session, and that Jane will be a figurehead of a leader. (I’ve got my popcorn ready and waiting for THAT one to be subverted.) Despite my distaste for his asshattery, I think he does genuinely care for Jane, and Jake on more than a carnal level. He’s just going about expressing that affection in all the wrong ways. Constantly berating them that they need to change their behavior? Harassing Jake with a robot? Proooobably not the best way to go about things. We’ve yet to see him interact with LittleLonde, and I wonder what he thinks she needs to be “”more like””. We’ve also yet to see him speak with mystery!troll, though I’m almost certain they must be in contact. Like LittleLonde, he knows a lot of things about the game he shouldn’t, by rights.
UU: We haven’t seen all that much of her, just a conversation here and there, and some hands, but I like my impression of her! She seems kind and cheery, encouraging her human friends instead of berating them like Karkat and co. I still wonder what session she’s from, since she’s confirmed she’s definitely a (Prospit) player. Could she have been some... like... rogue player from the pre-Scratch troll session? I still feel like that’s at least somewhat likely. Hopefully we’ll find out!
On Classpects:
We haven’t seen anything but the vaguest of hints at classpects this time around, though we have two kids’ confirmed: Jane is the Maid of Life, and Jake is the Page of Hope.
We haven’t seen Jane do anything really Life-y yet, but Feferi was the last Hero of Life, and they do share some similarities. Both are heiresses to the Batterwitch, if in completely different ways. Aradia was the last Maid, and the only similarity I can think of there is the fedora. So what will a Maid of Life be like in practice? We still don’t know what Life powers actually do, since Feferi never made it to god tier, but I think it’s safe to be assume she’ll be serving her other players as some kind of healer. I’m guessing her role is meant to be embraced, and that she won’t have much trouble doing this.
Jake is the Page of Hope, and though he hasn’t demonstrated any powers yet, we’ve seen a lot of evidence of... hopefulness in him. He ‘believes in people’, and in fact believes a little too easily, in Bro’s opinion. This is in stark contrast to Eridan, who seemed to have trouble believing in anything but his own damn self. He also shares a thing or two with Tavros, the other Page, like his affinity for tinkerbulls, and a hankering for... er... blue women. I’m not sure whether I think this role is one meant to be embraced or overcome. Bro would have him overcome it, but I don’t think I trust his judgment on what’s best here. Tavros was meant to embrace his role and failed hard at it, so my hope (hah) is that Jake truly embraces his classpect and becomes everything Tavros wasn’t.
Do I have any predictions on LittleLonde and Bro’s classes? I don’t think I have anything too specific yet, although if I had to guess, LittleLonde will be encouraged to embrace her classpect, and Bro will be encouraged to overcome his. For Bro, maybe... Heir? That seems to be about letting go of what you think you know. Prince might fit too, since my current understanding is that it’s about ruling over things, and he claims he’s going to be the one running their session. Bard? I don’t think I ever learned what that class really does. For LittleLonde, I’m not sure about a class, but I’m leaning toward either Blood or Heart as an aspect. She’s so lovable, which could either make her the lifeblood of the team like Karkat was to his, or maybe her unrequited romantic inclinations give her more in common with Nepeta. Hmm, Doom might fit her as well, since she’s got so many negative predictions about the Batterwitch and what’s going to happen when they enter the game. Anyway, that’s about all I’ve got!
The Story:
To start this one off, let’s go back to my predictions for Act 6 and catalogue all the things I got hilariously wrong:
The post-scratch players will live on a vastly different Earth, wherein human culture is much more violent. There will be a new First Guardian which will have steered civilization much like Doc Scratch did, if in fact he isn’t actually the new FG himself.
I’m not sure whether to call this one debunked or not. HIC is all but confirmed to be the new First Guardian of Earth, and while she clearly does have her clutches in some things (Supreme Court Justice Guy Fieri???) this Earth is a lot less dystopian than I was expecting. Assassinations aside, Jane appears to be a pretty normal girl with a pretty normal upbringing. Dave seems to have made it big with SBaHJ movies, and everything’s going pretty well there. Jade is dead as Grandpa was pre-Scratch, and we’ve yet to learn why (something to do with the house tower being asploded?), but nonetheless Jake seems to be getting along just fine. Rose is doing a shit job of keeping LittleLonde out of the liquor cabinet, but still. Not exactly the Hunger Games situation I was expecting.
The post-scratch players’ personalities will resemble the hints we’ve seen through the original kids’ unreliable narrations. Young!Mom will actually be into wizards, young!Bro will be genuinely fucked up and completely unironic about his bizarre interests, young!Nanna will be… basically like Nannasprite, all about pranks and baking, and young!Grandpa will love fighting and… Weekend at Bernie’s.
Ok, well, it turns out their personalities are a little more complicated than that, but this one was basically a gimme.
We will find out that the original guardians somehow absorbed some of their younger post-Scratch selves’ memories, and that’s why they insist on strifing with the kids to train them up, and why Bro stabs Beat Mesa.
This one still seems plausible, if paradoxical, because Dave and Rose have PROBABLY been passing on game info to young Bro and LittleLonde. Them, and UU...
Something is going to go really, really wrong with the timeline, and John will have to repair it with Dave’s help, and that’s why we see those floating arms everywhere. Maybe he’s affecting all the events that lead to Lord English arriving?
Yet to be seen...
Since the Furthest Ring is session-agnostic, they’ll use the map the horrorterrors helpfully provided Dave to navigate the meteor to the post-Scratch human session. Of course, this doesn’t answer the question of how John and Jade will get there! Maybe they’ll somehow meet up beforehand?
Next act, maybe?
When the kids and trolls enter the new, post-Scratch session, it COULD end up a reverse of the trolls’ situation, where they thought they were on separate teams but were in fact working toward the same goal. What if it looks like they have to team up with the post-Scratch kids, but it’s actually a competition or a race to see which group of players can finish the game? Or what if the new human kids are actually evil?? This one seems less likely, but it would be cool.
Still seems pretty unlikely, and I definitely don’t WANT it to be the case.
The post-Scratch players will follow in the trolls’ footsteps and prototype something they really shouldn’t have. That or, in an ironic twist of fate, their session’s Jack Noir will be a good guy who will help take down Bec Noir.
Could happen, but we haven’t gotten there yet. Act 6 Act 1 didn’t make quite the progress of Act 1.
We will see the session that created the trolls’, and it will have some role to play in solving the mysteries of the game’s origins. Lord English will somehow be involved with the origin of the game. Is he a corrupted game element? A virus? Did he create it? Was it his session that spawned the trolls’?
Another possibility for UU’s origins, although it would make more sense if she had come from whatever future session this Sburb session spawns. UU mentions not having entered her game yet, so it seems unlikely she’d have knowledge of the post-Scratch trolls’ session if that’s the one she’s creating. And she can’t be from the post-Scratch troll session... right? But she’s definitely a troll, so... @_@
That’s all I’ve got on predictions! I don’t think I have anything to add just yet that wasn’t covered in that recap, except that the auto responder was totally unexpected, and I can see it causing problems in the future somehow. UU too! What a mystery.
As for the structure of the story itself, I’m enjoying that we’ve returned to an Act 1 structure without it feeling like too much of a rehash. Even though the characters are LITERALLY recycled, things feel fresh and new, and I’m interested to learn more about them. It’s a little frustrating how long it’s taking them to get into the game—not that it’s poorly paced; just that Act 1 was rather rushed in comparison, and I’m dreading a Hivebent-style ‘HERE TAKE 1000 PAGES JUST TO MEET THESE CHARACTERS BEFORE THEY EVEN ENTER THE GAME’ kind of thing.
Shipping:
Despite being such a short Act like Act 1, there was a lot in the way of shipping material. Maybe this is because the kids are a bit older this time around and more caught up in the throes of raging teenage hormones. We have a clear ‘shipping grid’ for these so-called Alpha Kids, because we know who their ectobiological offspring are, but so far they don’t seem to be strictly following it. Jane clearly has a crush on Jake, but so does LittleLonde, and there have been some very strong hints that young Bro does too. LittleLonde didn’t rule out having a crush on Bro, but she seemed to indicate there was nothing going on there. Are we totally going to subvert everything, for the lulz? Will we wind up with Jane/LittleLonde and Jake/Bro?
A shipping section wouldn’t be complete without my own preferences, so here’s what I’m feeling, based on my limited exposure to the kids:
Jane♥Jake: This one’s not only “”canonical,”” but Jane expresses an overt attraction to Jake that he doesn’t exactly seem to mind. Neither does he express clear support for the idea, but hey, I can still ship it.
Bro♠Jake: Bro totally has a thing for Jake, if you ask me. However, he also built the guy a robot that apparently beats the shit out of him on the regular. CLEARLY we have a kismesissitude on our hands. Part of my interpretation of blackrom is harassing your kismesis to be on your level of awesome, as Bro harasses Jake:
GG: Why not just turn [the auto responder] off then? TT: Keeps them both on their toes. GG: Who? TT: Jake and the responder. TT: Jake needs to be more skeptical. Rather than take a Pollyanna jackknife ass-first off whatever turnip truck is blowing through town that day, he's got to apply more critical reasoning to shit. TT: I keep telling him. TT: I keep telling him, dude, you got to be more like Jane.
The brobot could be part of that, too. And there you have it! >:D
LittleLonde♥Everyone (including me): Because obvs she’s too good for this world and deserves everything she ever wanted. She can romance all three other kids to her heart’s content, then come see me when she’s at least 18 and also a real person.
Favorite Panels:
There aren’t a lot of visually stunning panels in an Act so short and mundane, but there are certainly several that made me go ‘dawwwww’.
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LOOK HOW FUCKING CUTE SHE IS. JUST LOOK AT HER.
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Ahahahaha.
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Who is this cute robot kid? Is he another violent creation of Bro’s? What’s he doing creeping around in the bathroom while Bro is showering? Who knows!
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As sad and frightening as this panel is, it is pretty aesthetically pleasing. The colors of the flowers remind me of images of Rangwali Holi.
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Another great image. I love the use of the background image here, far less grating than Hussie’s study, and the beams of light coming through the forest canopy.
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Creepy as all shit, but I like the way the robot’s shades stand out against the dark background.
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The absolute unexplained ABSURDITY of Jake’s island being populated by lususes (...lusii?) aside, I love the perspective of this panel and how it so easily demonstrates how weird and wild Jake’s life must be.
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This image of Houston is so different from the red-hot hellhole Dave’s seemed to be! I love the color of the autumn sky, and the wheeling gulls.
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I can hear the cartoon ‘droop’ sound effect in my head. I’m sure you know the one.
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So dynamic!!
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I LOVE SCRIBBLE MODE SO MUCH.
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Alright, I’ll admit this one’s pretty badass.
Favorite Pesterlogs:
Aside from EVERY CHAT WITH LITTLELONDE, there were a few standout bits and bobs, as usual.
It’s questionable phrasing (which seems to come up a lot), but the juxtaposition of archaic propriety with ‘devilfucking dickens’ just SLAYS me:
GT: Jane! GT: Forgive my botherations. I know this is meant to be a spanking ripsnorter of a day for you and all. GT: But do you happen to know where the devilfucking dickens mr strider might be?
I like this first conversation with Miss Mystery not only for the call back to Karkat’s first convo with Jade, but also because it’s sort of a guarantee, no matter how spurious, of a happy ending:
UU: good morning, lovely. ^u^ GG: Why, hellooooooo. UU: so i gUess today is finally the day yoU make everything better. GG: :B! UU: it is the day whereafter the legendary octet of mUtUal progenitoriety will come together and heal a great breach in paradox space. UU: a day delivered throUgh eighty billion years and foUr distinct Universal instances worth of Unfathomable tUrbUlence. UU: and while the emerald eye of this storm is fixed in the abyss forever UU: today yoU are poised to escape its scowl once and for all. UU: by skaias gUiding light, yoU may leave behind its tUrning arms of bright coloUrs and mayhem, and secUre peace for yoUr cosmic progeny for all dUration.
I don’t think these LittleLonde snippets really even need qualifying:
GG: Where have you been today? TG: nowhere just chilling here TG: when all of the sudden GG: "All of a sudden." TG: when all of the sudden TG: it hits me
TG: i just wanted your advice on what to get him TG: something sentimental i guess? but i mean im mostly tapped out of precious heirlooms atm so idk TG: but not like anything coming on too strong TG: something that says TG: this is totes platonic and everything TG: no eyebrow raising funnybiz is goin on over here TG: but still says you know TG: call me TG: if you wanna
TG: well shit jane TG: what am i even supposed to do TG: i cant hit on anybody and appaprently i can entertain nary a frisky THOUGHT about anyboby because apparentley evrybodies OFF LIMITS!!!!! TG: *buncha goddamn typos
TG: it was a fuckin cakewake TG: **cakewalk GG: Oh. TG: like by wich i mean not to say hur hur im hottest shit haxxor bitch you ever knew TG: as deadlay to the corporate grid ass she is beatuiful TG: which i AM but TG: what i mean is shit wasnt even guarded TG: it was just TG: some files TG: that were there TG: unsecured TG: and i took them TG: jacked them right offa that intraweb telematrice TG: then applied lipstick TG: femme fatale style TG: and was like shit yes i ALL KINDS of know how to use my web browser to download serveral files
UGH UGH UGH I LOVE HER SO MUCH.
GG: IT'S UP. GG: IT'S UP, IT'S UP, IT'S UP. TG: i dont get a lotta mail out here and im no mail expret TG: *expert TG: but TG: doesnt that mean not the right thing TG: like ur susposed to put it up if you want something taken away not have the guy put it up if mail comes TG: i think your mail man is quiet possibly a dumbass
I love the way UU just casually drops this bomb before signing off all cute-like:
GT: Just please tell me in the least causally spoilery way possible... GT: What are we even trying to accomplish here? What is even the rootin tootin POINT of this game? UU: i think yoU will have more fUn than yoU can imagine finding oUt. UU: bUt stated concisely, and short of spoilerly as yoU so charmingly pUt it, UU: yoUr objective today is to pave the way for the arrival of gods. UU: <kisses!>
As much as Bro/the auto responder is a bit of a creep, I can’t help but find this conversation funny due to Jake’s desperate, passive-aggressive pandering, and the responder’s blatant come-ons:
GT: Bro. GT: Ahem. GT: Are you there? GT: I hate to be a pest about this and i know ive made a hearty trouble of myself a good deal lately... TT: State your business, Jake. GT: I should preface this request with an overture of appreciation. GT: For how much your cool and brotherly friendship means to me. GT: It has just been... GT: Absolutely *bully* having a standup gent like you in my corner. GT: Just a grade a dude whos a cut above the others in class and camaraderie. GT: Phew... *gropes for fresh kerchief.* GT: I hope this shit isnt coming across as platitudinous. I really mean it! TT: Take it easy, bromide. TT: Just about the only way I could salvage endearment from this perilous slope of horseshit would be to discover, really fucking soon mind you, it was a preamble to some floundering invitation for me to rush to your vicinity as nakedly as possible. TT: But since we've already shot that wad's eventuality on so many dry runs of flustered ambivalence that were as hilarious as they were one sided, TT: That leaves only one hope for this message to avoid spiraling toward qualification as a critical fucking defect in the hull of the Mach 10 rocket that is my precious spare time. TT: And that hope lies in the extent to which you were practicing artful insincerity. TT: Now's your opportunity to pretend that's what you were gunning for. I suggest you seize it. GT: I... GT: Oh. Yes! But of course. GT: The ironies! GT: Good grief how i was bandying them just now. You know me dude. GT: *Blows smoke off red hot irony pistol.
Aaaand the veneer wears off:
TT: If you were half-assing this project and made some slovenly plea for it, I'd just say, fuck it, here's a lot of green rocks dude, go nuts. GT: Ok then! Im halfassing it! GT: Look. See? Only a bisected bottom is present! Where is the other half you ask? GT: Why... it is nowhere to be found. I didnt use it! TT: Nope. Not buying it. TT: I know that every ounce of your premium behind can be accounted for in that rabbit, and there's no goddamned denying it. TT: And you know perfectly well where some more uranium can be located. GT: Jesus christmas you are such a fucking douche.
:P
TT: Look at that statement you just made. TT: It's time for me to respond with some words, ideally chosen and arranged in a way that will wreck your shit, in a subtle and psychologically devastating way. GT: Har har har! GT: Just soooo "*irooooonic*!!!" Quotes quotes quotes. GT: Im laughing my caboose STRAIGHT OFF THE TRACKS! A lot of families just died in the tragic derailment. TT: Ok, the caboose remark was actually pretty funny, Jake.
I agree!
GT: Hey. Tell me about the auto responder. Make it snappy shitknickers! TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 93% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now. GT: Gee dude you sure typed that exact same thing pretty fast. GT: Are you still fucking with me?? TT: It could be a coincidence that I typed the same answer. GT: You always type that answer!!!!! TT: It could be a coincidence that I always type the same answer. GT: Uuuuuuugh. GT: I cant stand this. Every time we do this and i just wind up whistling sweet dixie out of my bum hole!
And speaking of which:
TT: I thought you liked to manicure the image of a dude who shits his pants over a good adventure. GT: I do! GT: I mean i wouldnt put it in a way like that or come out against a solid policy of clean trousers. But yes adventure is awesome.
MORE ADORALONDE:
TG: holy shit jaaaje TG: lol *k GT: Heh heh. GT: Howdy! GT: What is all this commotion about? TG: nothin TG: just your basic run o the mill holy shit TG: and also TG: hi
TG: all i know is shes banking on us doing this and if she needs us to do this than its got to be to make somethin fucking hoorible happen TG: * horbible TG: * whore bible TG: ^ bullseye
GT: I was actually just getting all of my final affairs in order when you messaged me. GT: I was to bequeath to you all my WAB posters. TG: wab wut GT: Weekend at bernies dammit!!!!!! TG: oh fuck yeay TG: im always in need of something to put under my cats shit box
Finally, this conversation between Jane and (gasp!) the real live Bro has a couple gems:
TT: And flaws aside, it's a legacy I'm proud to inherit. My duty isn't to appropriate his methods with absolute loyalty, but to apply reason and improve upon them. To leave my own mark. TT: To perfect the art of irony. TT: It's just like what you're doing with the work of your ancestor. You are striving to perfect his hokey vaudeville bullshit, or something. TT: You seek the Zen of a pie to the face. The Tao of falling the fuck down.
TT: If you ever need help, Jane. If you're ever in any trouble at all, let me know. Just say the word. TT: I'll whip the toggle stick of this ludicrous marionette, cavorting its humongous bottom to intercept your freefall through the abyss. TT: Snowcone you up in the fluffy crook of its cleft. Don't be alarmed if you're in no hurry to unpry yourself. TT: For the great jut of this impudent rump has more yield to your touch than you ever dreamt. Remember to catch your breath as it cherishes the imprint of your hand like a memento from a lover gone to war. TT: There's a lot of give to that ass, you may say. TT: Might like to settle in. Make myself comfortable. Start a family. TT: Bounce a coin off that ass, you'll demand of visitors. It's not going anywhere. TT: Bet that coin'll take a good nap there. TT: It's a gamble you win every goddamn time. TT: Yeah. 
Favorite Flashes:
As much as I enjoyed the excitement/nostalgia feels of [S] Act 6 and Jane: Get mail, there’s just really something to be said for the satisfaction of seeing a brick joke come back in such spectacular fashion.
Favorite Music:
I’m not sure whether I’ve really got anything for this one or not! ‘Homestuck Anthem’ is amazing, but it’s not specific to Act 6, and I’ve reviewed it previously. Still, what a great use of a great song!
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iamthekarmapolice · 8 years ago
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i was tagged by the wonderful @jabbubabbu (like seriously he’s so good-natured and nice to follow!)
Relationship status - single, unless freddie highmore counts
Lipstick or chapstick - neither i’m Team Cracked Lips
Last movie I watched - i seriously cannot remember........i’m going to say rogue one probably
Last song you listened to - Leif Erikson by Interpol
Top 3 shows/dramas/anime - Right now it’s American Gods, Riverdale and Legion
Top 3 characters - At the moment, Fiona from TFTB, Norma Bates and Shadow Moon
Top 3 ships - Fiona/Rhys, Athena/Janey and Norma/Alex just because each makes the other seem so happy (or in Athena’s case, less grumpy)
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