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nora-reads-homestuck · 7 years

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A6A1 Impressions

Hey all! I’m back with my impressions from Act 6 Act 1. This one will necessarily be a bit shorter than previous impressions posts, but the plus side is that I’ll be doing more of them, one for each Act Act! (God, that feels weird to say. Like... I’m a Martian or something.) Anyway, here goes!

The Characters:

We didn’t see any of the original, pre-Scratch human kids or the trolls we know and love this Act Act. However, we met some new human kids who are all their own brand of weird/annoying/lovable!

Jane: Jane, Jane, Janey Jane. Strangely, though they have almost nothing to do with each other at this point, I’m getting some of the same feelings toward her as I got for Rose all through Acts 4 and 5. A bit of readerly frustration that she’s not doing or thinking the things I know she needs to in order to be truly successful at the game, if for different reasons. Rose was overconfident, a loner, but Jane is stubbornly (but pretty justifiedly, let’s be honest) refusing to take anything she hears at face value. Batterwitch? Couldn’t be. Entering a game to go to a new world? Malarkey. I think it stems from the fact that, all the way back in Act 1, it would have seemed just as improbable, but I’m getting to this having come off Act 5, and I know it all to be true. And Jane can’t be blamed for wanting to continue living in her perfect world, where she’s the heiress and her friends’ problems can’t touch her! I’m a bit worried that she might not take it in stride when she does get dumped into Sburb, and finds out everything she’s been hearing is true. She’s... a bit of a princess. But that’s alright; I still like her a lot!

Jake: Strangely, I’m still not sure what to make of Jake. On the surface level, he’s kind of ditzy, perpetually harangued, loves guns and adventure, indiscriminate in his movie tastes, and prone to outdated slang like Jane (obviously a joke in reference to the fact that his alt self grew up in the 1910′s and 20′s). Seems like there ought to be plenty to work with there. However... none of that really equates to a deeper personality. Is he insecure like Tavros? Overconfident, like Eridan? What do all the Lord English parallels mean? Will be become Lord English eventually? Mystery after mystery. I guess that’s not so unusual seeing how thinly Hussie strung tidbits about Jade, but still, I feel like it’s not enough to go on to really get a solid impression of his character. Hopefully we’ll get more later!

LittleLonde: BE STILL MY HEART. There have been plenty of Homestuck characters it’s taken me a while to warm up to, but LittleLonde is not one of them. She’s so sweet and cheery, encouraging her friends without harassing them, even if she’s worryingly drunk. (Seriously, what is UP with Rose allowing that to happen.) She’s also fucking adorable. I am a bit concerned that my assessment of her as a Cassandra character is accurate, and the Batterwitch really is poised to exploit the inevitability of them entering the game. LittleLonde, like Bro, seems to know a whole lot on the subject, and I wonder where that knowledge comes from. Rose, UU, or both? TipsyGnostalgic would seem to be quite the appropriate chumhandle.

Bro: Bro is for sure the kid we’ve heard the least from, and that’s not surprising, given how elusive his pre-Scratch older self was. Judging by the scant exposure I’ve had to him so far, he’s a narcissistic, dry, rude, but highly intelligent roboticist/AI programmer with ill-concealed pants feelings for Jake. He even claimed that he’s going to be the one pulling the strings behind this session, and that Jane will be a figurehead of a leader. (I’ve got my popcorn ready and waiting for THAT one to be subverted.) Despite my distaste for his asshattery, I think he does genuinely care for Jane, and Jake on more than a carnal level. He’s just going about expressing that affection in all the wrong ways. Constantly berating them that they need to change their behavior? Harassing Jake with a robot? Proooobably not the best way to go about things. We’ve yet to see him interact with LittleLonde, and I wonder what he thinks she needs to be “”more like””. We’ve also yet to see him speak with mystery!troll, though I’m almost certain they must be in contact. Like LittleLonde, he knows a lot of things about the game he shouldn’t, by rights.

UU: We haven’t seen all that much of her, just a conversation here and there, and some hands, but I like my impression of her! She seems kind and cheery, encouraging her human friends instead of berating them like Karkat and co. I still wonder what session she’s from, since she’s confirmed she’s definitely a (Prospit) player. Could she have been some... like... rogue player from the pre-Scratch troll session? I still feel like that’s at least somewhat likely. Hopefully we’ll find out!

On Classpects:

We haven’t seen anything but the vaguest of hints at classpects this time around, though we have two kids’ confirmed: Jane is the Maid of Life, and Jake is the Page of Hope.

We haven’t seen Jane do anything really Life-y yet, but Feferi was the last Hero of Life, and they do share some similarities. Both are heiresses to the Batterwitch, if in completely different ways. Aradia was the last Maid, and the only similarity I can think of there is the fedora. So what will a Maid of Life be like in practice? We still don’t know what Life powers actually do, since Feferi never made it to god tier, but I think it’s safe to be assume she’ll be serving her other players as some kind of healer. I’m guessing her role is meant to be embraced, and that she won’t have much trouble doing this.

Jake is the Page of Hope, and though he hasn’t demonstrated any powers yet, we’ve seen a lot of evidence of... hopefulness in him. He ‘believes in people’, and in fact believes a little too easily, in Bro’s opinion. This is in stark contrast to Eridan, who seemed to have trouble believing in anything but his own damn self. He also shares a thing or two with Tavros, the other Page, like his affinity for tinkerbulls, and a hankering for... er... blue women. I’m not sure whether I think this role is one meant to be embraced or overcome. Bro would have him overcome it, but I don’t think I trust his judgment on what’s best here. Tavros was meant to embrace his role and failed hard at it, so my hope (hah) is that Jake truly embraces his classpect and becomes everything Tavros wasn’t.

Do I have any predictions on LittleLonde and Bro’s classes? I don’t think I have anything too specific yet, although if I had to guess, LittleLonde will be encouraged to embrace her classpect, and Bro will be encouraged to overcome his. For Bro, maybe... Heir? That seems to be about letting go of what you think you know. Prince might fit too, since my current understanding is that it’s about ruling over things, and he claims he’s going to be the one running their session. Bard? I don’t think I ever learned what that class really does. For LittleLonde, I’m not sure about a class, but I’m leaning toward either Blood or Heart as an aspect. She’s so lovable, which could either make her the lifeblood of the team like Karkat was to his, or maybe her unrequited romantic inclinations give her more in common with Nepeta. Hmm, Doom might fit her as well, since she’s got so many negative predictions about the Batterwitch and what’s going to happen when they enter the game. Anyway, that’s about all I’ve got!

The Story:

To start this one off, let’s go back to my predictions for Act 6 and catalogue all the things I got hilariously wrong:

The post-scratch players will live on a vastly different Earth, wherein human culture is much more violent. There will be a new First Guardian which will have steered civilization much like Doc Scratch did, if in fact he isn’t actually the new FG himself.

I’m not sure whether to call this one debunked or not. HIC is all but confirmed to be the new First Guardian of Earth, and while she clearly does have her clutches in some things (Supreme Court Justice Guy Fieri???) this Earth is a lot less dystopian than I was expecting. Assassinations aside, Jane appears to be a pretty normal girl with a pretty normal upbringing. Dave seems to have made it big with SBaHJ movies, and everything’s going pretty well there. Jade is dead as Grandpa was pre-Scratch, and we’ve yet to learn why (something to do with the house tower being asploded?), but nonetheless Jake seems to be getting along just fine. Rose is doing a shit job of keeping LittleLonde out of the liquor cabinet, but still. Not exactly the Hunger Games situation I was expecting.

The post-scratch players’ personalities will resemble the hints we’ve seen through the original kids’ unreliable narrations. Young!Mom will actually be into wizards, young!Bro will be genuinely fucked up and completely unironic about his bizarre interests, young!Nanna will be… basically like Nannasprite, all about pranks and baking, and young!Grandpa will love fighting and… Weekend at Bernie’s.

Ok, well, it turns out their personalities are a little more complicated than that, but this one was basically a gimme.

We will find out that the original guardians somehow absorbed some of their younger post-Scratch selves’ memories, and that’s why they insist on strifing with the kids to train them up, and why Bro stabs Beat Mesa.

This one still seems plausible, if paradoxical, because Dave and Rose have PROBABLY been passing on game info to young Bro and LittleLonde. Them, and UU...

Something is going to go really, really wrong with the timeline, and John will have to repair it with Dave’s help, and that’s why we see those floating arms everywhere. Maybe he’s affecting all the events that lead to Lord English arriving?

Yet to be seen...

Since the Furthest Ring is session-agnostic, they’ll use the map the horrorterrors helpfully provided Dave to navigate the meteor to the post-Scratch human session. Of course, this doesn’t answer the question of how John and Jade will get there! Maybe they’ll somehow meet up beforehand?

Next act, maybe?

When the kids and trolls enter the new, post-Scratch session, it COULD end up a reverse of the trolls’ situation, where they thought they were on separate teams but were in fact working toward the same goal. What if it looks like they have to team up with the post-Scratch kids, but it’s actually a competition or a race to see which group of players can finish the game? Or what if the new human kids are actually evil?? This one seems less likely, but it would be cool.

Still seems pretty unlikely, and I definitely don’t WANT it to be the case.

The post-Scratch players will follow in the trolls’ footsteps and prototype something they really shouldn’t have. That or, in an ironic twist of fate, their session’s Jack Noir will be a good guy who will help take down Bec Noir.

Could happen, but we haven’t gotten there yet. Act 6 Act 1 didn’t make quite the progress of Act 1.

We will see the session that created the trolls’, and it will have some role to play in solving the mysteries of the game’s origins. Lord English will somehow be involved with the origin of the game. Is he a corrupted game element? A virus? Did he create it? Was it his session that spawned the trolls’?

Another possibility for UU’s origins, although it would make more sense if she had come from whatever future session this Sburb session spawns. UU mentions not having entered her game yet, so it seems unlikely she’d have knowledge of the post-Scratch trolls’ session if that’s the one she’s creating. And she can’t be from the post-Scratch troll session... right? But she’s definitely a troll, so... @_@

That’s all I’ve got on predictions! I don’t think I have anything to add just yet that wasn’t covered in that recap, except that the auto responder was totally unexpected, and I can see it causing problems in the future somehow. UU too! What a mystery.

As for the structure of the story itself, I’m enjoying that we’ve returned to an Act 1 structure without it feeling like too much of a rehash. Even though the characters are LITERALLY recycled, things feel fresh and new, and I’m interested to learn more about them. It’s a little frustrating how long it’s taking them to get into the game—not that it’s poorly paced; just that Act 1 was rather rushed in comparison, and I’m dreading a Hivebent-style ‘HERE TAKE 1000 PAGES JUST TO MEET THESE CHARACTERS BEFORE THEY EVEN ENTER THE GAME’ kind of thing.

Shipping:

Despite being such a short Act like Act 1, there was a lot in the way of shipping material. Maybe this is because the kids are a bit older this time around and more caught up in the throes of raging teenage hormones. We have a clear ‘shipping grid’ for these so-called Alpha Kids, because we know who their ectobiological offspring are, but so far they don’t seem to be strictly following it. Jane clearly has a crush on Jake, but so does LittleLonde, and there have been some very strong hints that young Bro does too. LittleLonde didn’t rule out having a crush on Bro, but she seemed to indicate there was nothing going on there. Are we totally going to subvert everything, for the lulz? Will we wind up with Jane/LittleLonde and Jake/Bro?

A shipping section wouldn’t be complete without my own preferences, so here’s what I’m feeling, based on my limited exposure to the kids:

Jane♥Jake: This one’s not only “”canonical,”” but Jane expresses an overt attraction to Jake that he doesn’t exactly seem to mind. Neither does he express clear support for the idea, but hey, I can still ship it.

Bro♠Jake: Bro totally has a thing for Jake, if you ask me. However, he also built the guy a robot that apparently beats the shit out of him on the regular. CLEARLY we have a kismesissitude on our hands. Part of my interpretation of blackrom is harassing your kismesis to be on your level of awesome, as Bro harasses Jake:

GG: Why not just turn [the auto responder] off then? TT: Keeps them both on their toes. GG: Who? TT: Jake and the responder. TT: Jake needs to be more skeptical. Rather than take a Pollyanna jackknife ass-first off whatever turnip truck is blowing through town that day, he's got to apply more critical reasoning to shit. TT: I keep telling him. TT: I keep telling him, dude, you got to be more like Jane.

The brobot could be part of that, too. And there you have it! >:D

LittleLonde♥Everyone (including me): Because obvs she’s too good for this world and deserves everything she ever wanted. She can romance all three other kids to her heart’s content, then come see me when she’s at least 18 and also a real person.

Favorite Panels:

There aren’t a lot of visually stunning panels in an Act so short and mundane, but there are certainly several that made me go ‘dawwwww’.

LOOK HOW FUCKING CUTE SHE IS. JUST LOOK AT HER.

Ahahahaha.

Who is this cute robot kid? Is he another violent creation of Bro’s? What’s he doing creeping around in the bathroom while Bro is showering? Who knows!

As sad and frightening as this panel is, it is pretty aesthetically pleasing. The colors of the flowers remind me of images of Rangwali Holi.

Another great image. I love the use of the background image here, far less grating than Hussie’s study, and the beams of light coming through the forest canopy.

Creepy as all shit, but I like the way the robot’s shades stand out against the dark background.

The absolute unexplained ABSURDITY of Jake’s island being populated by lususes (...lusii?) aside, I love the perspective of this panel and how it so easily demonstrates how weird and wild Jake’s life must be.

This image of Houston is so different from the red-hot hellhole Dave’s seemed to be! I love the color of the autumn sky, and the wheeling gulls.

I can hear the cartoon ‘droop’ sound effect in my head. I’m sure you know the one.

So dynamic!!

I LOVE SCRIBBLE MODE SO MUCH.

Alright, I’ll admit this one’s pretty badass.

Favorite Pesterlogs:

Aside from EVERY CHAT WITH LITTLELONDE, there were a few standout bits and bobs, as usual.

It’s questionable phrasing (which seems to come up a lot), but the juxtaposition of archaic propriety with ‘devilfucking dickens’ just SLAYS me:

GT: Jane! GT: Forgive my botherations. I know this is meant to be a spanking ripsnorter of a day for you and all. GT: But do you happen to know where the devilfucking dickens mr strider might be?

I like this first conversation with Miss Mystery not only for the call back to Karkat’s first convo with Jade, but also because it’s sort of a guarantee, no matter how spurious, of a happy ending:

UU: good morning, lovely. ^u^ GG: Why, hellooooooo. UU: so i gUess today is finally the day yoU make everything better. GG: :B! UU: it is the day whereafter the legendary octet of mUtUal progenitoriety will come together and heal a great breach in paradox space. UU: a day delivered throUgh eighty billion years and foUr distinct Universal instances worth of Unfathomable tUrbUlence. UU: and while the emerald eye of this storm is fixed in the abyss forever UU: today yoU are poised to escape its scowl once and for all. UU: by skaias gUiding light, yoU may leave behind its tUrning arms of bright coloUrs and mayhem, and secUre peace for yoUr cosmic progeny for all dUration.

I don’t think these LittleLonde snippets really even need qualifying:

GG: Where have you been today? TG: nowhere just chilling here TG: when all of the sudden GG: "All of a sudden." TG: when all of the sudden TG: it hits me

TG: i just wanted your advice on what to get him TG: something sentimental i guess? but i mean im mostly tapped out of precious heirlooms atm so idk TG: but not like anything coming on too strong TG: something that says TG: this is totes platonic and everything TG: no eyebrow raising funnybiz is goin on over here TG: but still says you know TG: call me TG: if you wanna

TG: well shit jane TG: what am i even supposed to do TG: i cant hit on anybody and appaprently i can entertain nary a frisky THOUGHT about anyboby because apparentley evrybodies OFF LIMITS!!!!! TG: *buncha goddamn typos

TG: it was a fuckin cakewake TG: **cakewalk GG: Oh. TG: like by wich i mean not to say hur hur im hottest shit haxxor bitch you ever knew TG: as deadlay to the corporate grid ass she is beatuiful TG: which i AM but TG: what i mean is shit wasnt even guarded TG: it was just TG: some files TG: that were there TG: unsecured TG: and i took them TG: jacked them right offa that intraweb telematrice TG: then applied lipstick TG: femme fatale style TG: and was like shit yes i ALL KINDS of know how to use my web browser to download serveral files

UGH UGH UGH I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

GG: IT'S UP. GG: IT'S UP, IT'S UP, IT'S UP. TG: i dont get a lotta mail out here and im no mail expret TG: *expert TG: but TG: doesnt that mean not the right thing TG: like ur susposed to put it up if you want something taken away not have the guy put it up if mail comes TG: i think your mail man is quiet possibly a dumbass

I love the way UU just casually drops this bomb before signing off all cute-like:

GT: Just please tell me in the least causally spoilery way possible... GT: What are we even trying to accomplish here? What is even the rootin tootin POINT of this game? UU: i think yoU will have more fUn than yoU can imagine finding oUt. UU: bUt stated concisely, and short of spoilerly as yoU so charmingly pUt it, UU: yoUr objective today is to pave the way for the arrival of gods. UU: <kisses!>

As much as Bro/the auto responder is a bit of a creep, I can’t help but find this conversation funny due to Jake’s desperate, passive-aggressive pandering, and the responder’s blatant come-ons:

GT: Bro. GT: Ahem. GT: Are you there? GT: I hate to be a pest about this and i know ive made a hearty trouble of myself a good deal lately... TT: State your business, Jake. GT: I should preface this request with an overture of appreciation. GT: For how much your cool and brotherly friendship means to me. GT: It has just been... GT: Absolutely *bully* having a standup gent like you in my corner. GT: Just a grade a dude whos a cut above the others in class and camaraderie. GT: Phew... *gropes for fresh kerchief.* GT: I hope this shit isnt coming across as platitudinous. I really mean it! TT: Take it easy, bromide. TT: Just about the only way I could salvage endearment from this perilous slope of horseshit would be to discover, really fucking soon mind you, it was a preamble to some floundering invitation for me to rush to your vicinity as nakedly as possible. TT: But since we've already shot that wad's eventuality on so many dry runs of flustered ambivalence that were as hilarious as they were one sided, TT: That leaves only one hope for this message to avoid spiraling toward qualification as a critical fucking defect in the hull of the Mach 10 rocket that is my precious spare time. TT: And that hope lies in the extent to which you were practicing artful insincerity. TT: Now's your opportunity to pretend that's what you were gunning for. I suggest you seize it. GT: I... GT: Oh. Yes! But of course. GT: The ironies! GT: Good grief how i was bandying them just now. You know me dude. GT: *Blows smoke off red hot irony pistol.

Aaaand the veneer wears off:

TT: If you were half-assing this project and made some slovenly plea for it, I'd just say, fuck it, here's a lot of green rocks dude, go nuts. GT: Ok then! Im halfassing it! GT: Look. See? Only a bisected bottom is present! Where is the other half you ask? GT: Why... it is nowhere to be found. I didnt use it! TT: Nope. Not buying it. TT: I know that every ounce of your premium behind can be accounted for in that rabbit, and there's no goddamned denying it. TT: And you know perfectly well where some more uranium can be located. GT: Jesus christmas you are such a fucking douche.

TT: Look at that statement you just made. TT: It's time for me to respond with some words, ideally chosen and arranged in a way that will wreck your shit, in a subtle and psychologically devastating way. GT: Har har har! GT: Just soooo "*irooooonic*!!!" Quotes quotes quotes. GT: Im laughing my caboose STRAIGHT OFF THE TRACKS! A lot of families just died in the tragic derailment. TT: Ok, the caboose remark was actually pretty funny, Jake.

I agree!

GT: Hey. Tell me about the auto responder. Make it snappy shitknickers! TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 93% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now. GT: Gee dude you sure typed that exact same thing pretty fast. GT: Are you still fucking with me?? TT: It could be a coincidence that I typed the same answer. GT: You always type that answer!!!!! TT: It could be a coincidence that I always type the same answer. GT: Uuuuuuugh. GT: I cant stand this. Every time we do this and i just wind up whistling sweet dixie out of my bum hole!

And speaking of which:

TT: I thought you liked to manicure the image of a dude who shits his pants over a good adventure. GT: I do! GT: I mean i wouldnt put it in a way like that or come out against a solid policy of clean trousers. But yes adventure is awesome.

MORE ADORALONDE:

TG: holy shit jaaaje TG: lol *k GT: Heh heh. GT: Howdy! GT: What is all this commotion about? TG: nothin TG: just your basic run o the mill holy shit TG: and also TG: hi

TG: all i know is shes banking on us doing this and if she needs us to do this than its got to be to make somethin fucking hoorible happen TG: * horbible TG: * whore bible TG: ^ bullseye

GT: I was actually just getting all of my final affairs in order when you messaged me. GT: I was to bequeath to you all my WAB posters. TG: wab wut GT: Weekend at bernies dammit!!!!!! TG: oh fuck yeay TG: im always in need of something to put under my cats shit box

Finally, this conversation between Jane and (gasp!) the real live Bro has a couple gems:

TT: And flaws aside, it's a legacy I'm proud to inherit. My duty isn't to appropriate his methods with absolute loyalty, but to apply reason and improve upon them. To leave my own mark. TT: To perfect the art of irony. TT: It's just like what you're doing with the work of your ancestor. You are striving to perfect his hokey vaudeville bullshit, or something. TT: You seek the Zen of a pie to the face. The Tao of falling the fuck down.

TT: If you ever need help, Jane. If you're ever in any trouble at all, let me know. Just say the word. TT: I'll whip the toggle stick of this ludicrous marionette, cavorting its humongous bottom to intercept your freefall through the abyss. TT: Snowcone you up in the fluffy crook of its cleft. Don't be alarmed if you're in no hurry to unpry yourself. TT: For the great jut of this impudent rump has more yield to your touch than you ever dreamt. Remember to catch your breath as it cherishes the imprint of your hand like a memento from a lover gone to war. TT: There's a lot of give to that ass, you may say. TT: Might like to settle in. Make myself comfortable. Start a family. TT: Bounce a coin off that ass, you'll demand of visitors. It's not going anywhere. TT: Bet that coin'll take a good nap there. TT: It's a gamble you win every goddamn time. TT: Yeah.

Favorite Flashes:

As much as I enjoyed the excitement/nostalgia feels of [S] Act 6 and Jane: Get mail, there’s just really something to be said for the satisfaction of seeing a brick joke come back in such spectacular fashion.

Favorite Music:

I’m not sure whether I’ve really got anything for this one or not! ‘Homestuck Anthem’ is amazing, but it’s not specific to Act 6, and I’ve reviewed it previously. Still, what a great use of a great song!

#NRHS #Nora reads Homestuck #Homestuck #Homestuck liveblog #Act 6 #A6A1 #Impressions post #Character analysis #Classpect analysis #Plot analysis

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nora-reads-homestuck · 7 years

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Nora Reads HS Part 68

Pages 6154-6184

Hey guys! Some quick background on why I’ve been a little scarce: I’ve mentioned a personal project that’s been eating into my free time, and that is... dun dun dun, a custom 5e D&D campaign I’m running IRL! The campaign is just starting, so I’m in the phase where I’m planning out a lot of details and building locations, etc. What that means is that sometimes I’ll need to take little breaks from liveblogging to work on the game, and other times, I’ll put D&D to the side to focus on liveblogging! I haven’t disappeared or anything like that, and once the campaign really gets going, my need to take short breaks should ease off. No need to worry! I am here and ready to find out what’s up with this robot bunny that young Bro has built Jane. *Seinfeld music* Does the auto responder have a connection to it the way he has a connection to the brobot? Does it fight with Jane? Is it... touchy feely?

Let’s... find out. Eurgh.

*click*

Poor poppop's severed head got nicked by the FIREPLACE POKER.

OH SHIT. I’m so accustomed to seeing damaged eyes that it didn’t really register the first time I looked at this panel. Is this Hussie teasing us with the idea of a Poppopsprite? Because I would be PERFECTLY OK with that eventuality. Circumstantial simultaneity.

Also, damn, check out all those Astaires.

Jane: Put head back.

You stick the poker down his neck hole and jam the head back on the spike as a temporary measure. That looks somewhat more respectable you guess.

THE PERFECT CRIME.

Looks like the troublemaker's father is calling.

That choice of language is weird and it’s skeeving me out. I DUN LIKE IT. On the other hand, yay, more kidchat! Or... robokid chat?

KID SIGHTING. And... well, he looks exactly as expected. He appears to be standing on the roof of his building, surrounded by... fucking... are those doves?

TT: Why have you activated dear, sweet Huggy Bear. TT: Are you in danger?

...I... it’s gotta be Snoop Dogg Huggy Bear, right?

TT: I disabled the AR for now. GG: Ok. Just making sure! GG: Jake was having some issues with it earlier, and I don't think he received its obfuscating tendencies in the humorous spirit intended. TT: Yes, I'm catching up with the situation now. GG: Oh, so you're talking to Jake then? TT: Nah. Just reading their chat logs.

Why does this seem weird and intrusive if the ‘AR’ is basically fucking him? (Haa haa.)

TT: Its demeanor leaves something desired though. I'd prefer it didn't make such aggressive and repeated claims of fidelity to my persona. TT: Be misrepresentin' hells of key subtleties, yo.

‘Subtleties’. Sure.

TT: Jake needs to be more skeptical. Rather than take a Pollyanna jackknife ass-first off whatever turnip truck is blowing through town that day, he's got to apply more critical reasoning to shit. TT: I keep telling him. TT: I keep telling him, dude, you got to be more like Jane. GG: These lectures I presume are roughly similar in complexion to those I'm familiar with? GG: Those wherein I have, and I quote, "got to be more like Jake?" TT: Yes, exactly. TT: You're finally fucking getting it. GG: I sincerely doubt that I am! TT: Said the stubborn skeptic, skeptically. GG: Let's not talk about my "issues" again, shalln't we?

Alright then. Young Bro is apparently trope savvy, so let’s see what tropes we can apply to him, so far. A: a fair few.

TT: Shalln't? TT: That ain't a thing to say, even for you. GG: Shush! GG: The word shalln't escape my vocabulary any longer, just as you SHALLN'T nitpick my language! That's my turf you're on, buster. TT: Alright. Kinda don't care.

WOW, what a jackass.

GG: What were you saying? TT: About what? Jake?

Careful, Strider, your crush is showing.

GG: About leaving the responder on! TT: Yeah. TT: Anyway, I kind of owe it to him to let the program run as often as possible. GG: Jake? TT: No. TT: The responder.

AHAHAHAHA. Yeah, this is going to get mined for drama later, isn’t it? Normally I’d be fucking allergic to the idea of a teen love n-gon, having experienced enough of them in YA fiction to make me sick, but then, this is Hussie. It’ll be amusing if nothing else.

(IF LITTLELONDE IS THE ONE TO END UP WITH JAKE I WILL SHIT. I might actually ship it??)

TT: It is a fully cognitive, self-aware entity I am responsible for, not even to mention an approximate cerebral duplicate of myself. TT: You don't just make a clone of yourself to live in a dead end existence where it has no chance to thrive as an individual or surpass its limitations. TT: That'd be sick.

That’s a charitable view to have toward an AI, and I’m going to remember this moment in case he reneges on his words later.

TT: Also. TT: The more the software runs, the broader and more detailed its experiential canopy becomes. Makes for a better dialogic partner. GG: Dialogic? GG: Are you saying you have conversations with your own auto-responder? TT: Of course. TT: Why do you think I made the thing? GG: Hrm, that's interesting. GG: I guess I always thought it was just a really elaborate gag! TT: It's that too.

Let me guess; the gag lies in the enormity of the narcissism involved in valuing yourself as the best possible dialogic partner, and is somehow tied up in ‘the ironies’.

God, what an insufferable prick. I think I would like him better if he were charming. Rose, for example, can get away with quite a lot by virtue of her rapier wit. What’s interesting to me, though, is that the most intelligent character in any work of fiction can only be as intelligent as the author. Rose and Doc Scratch were conduits for Hussie to show off his sense of humor and sesquipedalian loquaciousness, but Bro might be his chance to show off his raw intellect.

OH MY GOD JANE, YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT. <3 And what the hell is the rabbit doing?

GG: Sometimes your sense of humor seems more impenetrably advanced than your robotics. I'll never understand this tapestry of irony you weave.

Replace ‘honor’ with ‘irony’.

GG: Maybe I'm just stuck in the dark ages of pranksterism with my funny mustaches corny old joke book. TT: Yes, you are. But that's fine. TT: We come from different traditions. Someone needs to keep that racist southern asshole's legacy alive.

WOW SUCK MY DICK. How can you even be mean to Jane.

TT: There's dignity in taking up the work of our familial predecessors, even if what they did was insanely fucking stupid.

So... adult!Dave is still all about irony post-Scratch, and Bro claims to have gotten his shtick from him, instead of the other way around, but... he thinks Dave’s work was stupid?? This is infuriatingly circular.

GG: Is that a note of bitterness directed at your superstar brother I am detecting?

I AM SO HERE FOR FAMOUS DAVE, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.

TT: No way. He's awesome. TT: I've told you, I don't begrudge any of his success. TT: I've also told you he isn't my real bro even though I call him that. We're related through an esoteric process of genetic reamalgamation. GG: Oh lordy. Yes, yes, I know. I don't need another ironic lesson in science fiction!

Wow, yet another Sburb process the post-Scratch kids are inexplicably aware of. Does Bro know the actual nature of their relationship? Because that’s got to be weird and squicky in a Freaky Friday parent-kidswap kind of way. Maybe... Did Dave tell him all this stuff about the game, and Rose told LittleLonde, and that’s why Jane is still in the dark? Because Dad wasn’t a player???

IT ALL MAKES SENSE! :D

If Dave and Rose remember the game and their other lives, that would explain the continued existence of SBaHJ without adult!Bro’s awful comics to inspire him! And maybe they were the ones to encourage this troll friendship the Scratch kids have got going on! It would seem to run counter to the previous example we have in the troll ancestors, who didn’t recall game details after their Scratch, but it’s not exactly a game-breaking retcon to have the humans remember.

I still wonder why Jade would make all that Lord English-themed stuff, if she knew he was an evil motherfucker, but ah well. At least we know why she was so adamant about engaging “”Betty Crocker”” in corporate warfare!

TT: The point is, obviously his satirical methods have flaws, and whatever tempered brand of hero worship I might be practicing isn't keeping me from seeing that.

WHATEVER, HE LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU.

...LITERALLY.

GG: Flaws?? Talk about understatement. Those movies are unwatchable. GG: Unless your name is Jake English.

AHAHAHA.

TT: Yes, spectacularly so. But they will have profound historical significance. Mark my words.

Consider them marked. And knowing Hussie, it’ll be played for drama just as much as laughs.

UGH. Improve upon his methods by “”applying reason”’, as if, had Dave only been just a little bit smarter, just a bit more logical, he’d have told better jokes?? Bro’s one of those “let me play devil’s advocate, if I may” douchebags, isn’t he. He should’ve had a fedora on his shirt.

...OH MY GOD HE HAS THE KATANA TOO, IT’S PERFECT.

TT: It's just like what you're doing with the work of your ancestor. You are striving to perfect his hokey vaudeville bullshit, or something. TT: You seek the Zen of a pie to the face. The Tao of falling the fuck down.

Alright, that one’s actually funny.

TT: Can't fool me. You take your shit as serious as I do. TT: And if I wasn't serious about it, I wouldn't have made you that rabbit. Then where the hell would you be?

Still literally homestuck, if with an intact grandfather-son. But you don’t gotta be a fuckin’ prick about it.

Whoa, they’re not doves, they’re seagulls! Not unheard of, that close to Galveston. Also, the sky is lovely and blue. I would expect the post-Scratch Earth to be more of a crapsack world, a la post-Scratch Alternia, so this is interesting. Maybe it’s just because it’s Fall?

GG: Well, aside from thousands of dollars in corpse-repair richer, I can't say.

Ahahaha. Fuckin’ tell ‘im, Jane.

TT: Has he been sleeping in the old man hollow again? Shit, that's adorable. GG: I can think of cuter places for him to sleep, frankly! TT: Yeah, bullshit. TT: He's just being instinctive. In the wild, he would gut a carcass and sleep inside for warmth, as well as to secure tactical advantage for ambushing would-be scavengers. GG: Oh, please.

UGHH I AM QUICKLY APPROACHING MY LIMIT FOR DOUCHERY.

On a side node, what is the internal temperature of a tauntaun?

(What do you mean, an African or a European tauntaun?)

GG: Anyway, property damage and desecration to cherished elders aside, Mr. Bear has been a lovely addition to the family. TT: You haven't renamed him yet? GG: Oh... no. GG: I keep forgetting I'm supposed to! TT: You've got to fucking rename him. Or change him to a girl if you want. That was important. TT: When pets change owners they get new names. Fact. GG: Sorry.

Ok not only is that patently untrue, but I swear to god if this asshat keeps being rude to Jane, I will TURN THIS FUCKING COMIC AROUND.

GG: I will name him right now! GG: How about Lil' Sebastian? TT: Fuck if that isn't the best name a thing could get. GG: Yeah!!!

HALF MAST IS TOO HIGH.

GG: So then, are you saying Mr. Sebastian here was an ironic present? GG: Relayed strictly for guffaws?? >:B TT: Yes, but it's not that simple. There were many layers involved. TT: Some of them are literal layers, of metal and plush. GG: Huh? TT: There's a real stuffed rabbit beneath its exoskeleton. GG: What! Really? :O TT: Yeah. TT: It belonged to my bro. GG: I thought you said you didn't have such an heirloom to complete the plushie trifecta? TT: I didn't. He didn't give it to me, and never intended to bequeath it. TT: I stole it.

Huh. So, like Dave’s gift to John in the pre-Scratch universe is the “original” bunny, having at that point taken no trips through time, so the bunny inside Lil’ Sebastian is the post-Scratch universe’s original. Why did adult!Dave have it in his possession? He didn’t give it... to...

Oh. Con Air came out in 1997, and John died in 1995. So he bought it and kept it as a keepsake, in memory of his departed friend, only to have Bro steal it. For a good cause, yeah, but still. :’(

GG: Ooh. Risky! TT: Nah. I got a little help from RL and ganked it out of his museum. TT: It's this whole "priceless" collection of stupid shit from movies, defended like Fort Knox. Ironically of course.

PROBABLY NOT IRONICALLY, YOU JACKANAPES.

GG: So it's from a movie? TT: Ever hear of Con Air? GG: Nope. GG: Wait... GG: Wasn't that some bit of action schlock from the 90's? TT: Yes. GG: Some of the silly nonsense referenced in his work was well before my time. I don't have the wherewithal to investigate all this minutia. TT: Yeah, it doesn't matter really. But it was from that. Dude weirdly obsessed over that shit movie for years, among others.

Awww, noooo, he's sad about John!! D:

GG: That does sound a tad obsessive. Wasn't he furious about your burglary? TT: Pretty sure he didn't even notice. In years since, I never saw a news story about a "daring heist" or anything. I feel like he would have made some hay outta that. TT: And if he did know, he'd probably just want to give me a stoic fist bump or something.

Maybe, but probably not for the reason you think.

TT: Like I said, there are layers. TT: On one level, I gave you a filthy tattered piece of shit, albeit of tremendous cultural significance, manhandled by some old B movie actors, now candy coated to function as a highly practical defender droid for your personal protection. TT: On another level, I needed to incorporate something passable as a real heirloom. TT: For sentimental reasons. GG: D'awwwww. GG: Wait, real sentiment, or ironic sentiment? GG: Or is there no difference?? Am I missing the point here? TT: No, it was genuine.

So he’s not completely without a heart, even if it is, to quote him directly, a filthy tattered piece of shit.

TT: The upper echelons of irony should always include measures of sincerity. And if the satirical practice is executed faithfully it will achieve something bona fide in its own right regardless. TT: Through an intense commitment bordering on religious devotion to the absolutely inane, absurd, or plain fucking stupid, a very different kind of sincerity begins to materialize. One of reverence to the ridiculous. You begin to "mean it," but what exactly it is you mean is never quite what appears on the surface, and is utterly inaccessible to obtuse and literal minds. That you "mean it" then becomes inseparable from the joke, and additional rich strata of humor may be stripped aggressively from this irreconcilable truth.

I’m torn. On the one hand, I want to reach through my monitor and punch this kid in the face. On the other, even I can recognize that this is basically Andrew Hussie sock-puppeting his own ironic ideals. It’s just somehow more insufferable when Bro says it.

GG: I have so much to learn. And I am not even saying that "ironically!" GG: Will you teach me your ways one day, sir? Perhaps an apprenticeship will open? TT: Oh god, I'd love that. TT: Consider the position yours for the taking any time. Feel free to approach and kneel before Cal. With my sword and his floppy mitten, you will receive my flashstep anointment shoulder to shoulder, and to shoulder again.

UUUGHHHH. His head’s stuck up his own ass, but at the very least, he does seem to be sincere about enjoying teaching people things.

JESUS RABBIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING. If it’s really got a mind of its own, then it’s like a hyper-competent dog with a sword. If you don’t walk it or play with it enough, it starts destroying things. LIKE SOMEONE I KNOW. *stares down the dog*

GG: Lil' Seb is beginning to act out, and I must put his fidgetiness to constructive use!

‘Fidgitiness’, that’s putting it politely.

TT: Cool. TT: Jane, one more thing. TT: I'm sure you must be aware by now that you'll be the leader of our group, as you will be the first to enter the session. GG: Um, no? GG: This is news to me. I never gathered that "team leader" was a thing for this game. TT: Trust me. It's a thing.

Hmm. Frankly, it’s a little surprising to me that Bro would both know about the leader position, and willingly give it up. He seems like the kind of person who would want to be calling the shots, if for no other reason that he’s SOOO SMAAAART.

GG: Are you sure? I have my doubts. GG: I believe as a group we will have the temerity to succeed, without my having to order people around like an insufferable bossypants. TT: That's why you're our leader, Jane. GG: Hm? TT: Optimism through stalwart skepticism is an affect not everyone is plucky enough to be graced with. GG: That's stupid! TT: Yeah yeah. I know. TT: You're not our leader, you're our FRIEND, right? GG: Precisely! GG: There is a BIG difference! TT: And statements like that are also why you're our leader.

Whoa, whoa. So like... Bro and LittleLonde have certainly been privy to a lot of things they have no business knowing, which I’m still assuming was imparted to them by their troll friend or by Dave and Rose. But either that’s just an extremely coincidental call back to that exact conversation between Rose and John, or... Or I don’t know. It’s probably just him knowing her really well, and her being a lot like John and Bro being a lot like Rose. B...Brose?

TT: But only in name and in spirit. Less so, functionally. TT: If it puts your mind at ease, I'll be the one pulling the strings here.

Oh. Oh, wow. Never mind. You know what? I hope it all backfires spectacularly, so that the pre-Scratch kids can swoop in and save the day, while Bro looks on in stupefied wonder.

They wait, bitches.

GG: Oh yes? GG: Then this whole affair will be one of D. Strider's grand productions in puppetry?

Alright, so his name starts with D. Not all that many 4-letter male D names. Dean, Doug, Drew (ahaha), Dale, Dane, Dirk, Dion, Dann, Dill... Dick...

Also, ‘grand productions in puppetry’ makes me want to punch (and judy) something.

TT: I will be the unseen hand whose nimble digits are behind every subtle twitch in our session's bulbous foam ass. TT: At least those gyrations not happening by the volition of its own quivering absorbant proboscis. TT: If you ever need help, Jane. If you're ever in any trouble at all, let me know. Just say the word. TT: I'll whip the toggle stick of this ludicrous marionette, cavorting its humongous bottom to intercept your freefall through the abyss.

Well, that’s... sweet? I guess he’s saying he’s got good intentions, but still, I can see this (and am sort of rooting for it) to backfire horribly.

TT: Snowcone you up in the fluffy crook of its cleft. Don't be alarmed if you're in no hurry to unpry yourself. TT: For the great jut of this impudent rump has more yield to your touch than you ever dreamt. Remember to catch your breath as it cherishes the imprint of your hand like a memento from a lover gone to war. TT: There's a lot of give to that ass, you may say. TT: Might like to settle in. Make myself comfortable. Start a family. TT: Bounce a coin off that ass, you'll demand of visitors. It's not going anywhere. TT: Bet that coin'll take a good nap there. TT: It's a gamble you win every goddamn time. TT: Yeah.

I hate to use the same gif twice in one post, but...

GG: These lessons we talked about... GG: They've already begun, haven't they? :o TT: Jane, soon you'll believe what I've told you. TT: You'll believe it all. TT: It's just a shame that believing will take something so coarse as seeing, for a girl as sharp as you.

How biblical. What all exactly is he talking about? Game stuff? Betty Crocker stuff?

TT: Critical thought can lead one to accept the unlikely, just as much as dismiss the impossible. TT: I can help with this too. Would you like me to program a Jane Crocker responder for you? TT: I only require a simple captcha of your brain.

Alright, Doctor Fuckin’ Jekyll; let me just get right on that.

Wait, doesn’t DAVE have a captcha of his own brain? ...Oh no. Also, that means the auto responder isn’t n% indistinguishable from Bro just because it was programmed to be; it’s literally a copy of his brain. That’s kind of disturbing.

GG: Holy moly! GG: Um, thank you, but no. GG: I'm not ready to get dialogic with my cyberself just yet. My friends keep me busy enough as it is.

YES, JANE, THIS IS A GOOD ATTITUDE TO HAVE. KEEP IT UP.

GG: Speaking of which, I really need to go. I know you love to talk my ear off, and it's always a treat,

Pahahahaha.

but let's catch up later after the game starts, ok? GG: And if I do need your help, I promise I'll take you up on your offer! TT: I made several. Which one? GG: The one where you, hopefully not literally, offered to catch me in the crevice of a great big squishy butt! Hoo hoo hoo!

I fucking love this kid. She’s a little more assertive than John so far, though she’s also less mean-spirited. What will it be like when they meet? Can’t wait to find out! :D

Jane: Command Sebastian to lift fridge.

You order dear, sweet Lil' Sebastian to put his fidgetiness to constructive use. He is eager to assist, and lifts the appliance with ease.

Y’know, I was about to say something like, ‘how the hell is that tiny little robot supposed to lift the’ but then he did it. Welp. that certainly makes for a convenient escape route! After all this trouble Dad went through to keep Jane inside, she’s not going to get, like... sniped or something, is she?

He finds a note taped underneath the fridge. It seems to be addressed to you.

UGH I want to hate this bunny because Bro made it, but it is SO CUTE.

Fat chance, dad. This bird's gotta fly!!!

Jane, come ON, you’re courting danger now.

Never would have seen that one coming. (Jane, I’m about to throw a fridge through your wall.)

I like to imagine that the water pressure from the hose was at blasting power just before this panel, and drooped along with Dad’s confusion.

Jane: Throw down your hat in disgust.

Here it comes...

Wait for it...

You've been climbing your echeladder very gradually for various minor accomplishments here and there since you were 13. That was such a sweet textbook HAT POF, it earned you just enough to clear the next rung, FEDORAFLEDGLING. Nice going!

Huh, now this is a more interesting panel than you might think. First off, the mostly irrelevant details: Jane’s hat has what looks like a flag or a tag on it, instead of a feather, and her boondollar total is inching closer to 111,111,111 (damn, she’s rich). Now for the real meaty stuff.

The lowest level we can see on the echeladder, which, since the scrollbar is at the bottom, we can pretty safely assume to be the actual lowest level, is ‘Baby Ectobotananna’. This one took me a second to figure out, but then I realize it’s a combination of John’s ‘ectoBiologist’ and Jade’s ‘gardenGnostic’ via ‘botany’, and then ‘Nanna’.

Batterlass represents the obvious; she’s the heir to BCCorp, next in line after the Batterwitch.

‘Overbite Restart’, ha ha. John had ‘Overbite Upstart’.

‘Snorkbait Sporkplu’g, I have no idea, other than that it’s a call back to John’s ‘Sharkbait Sparkplug’.

‘Bespectacled Skeptic’ reflects what Bro was telling her, that she’s gotta believe more.

‘Haberdasher’s Daughter’, because Dad and hats.

‘Britches Healer’ connects back to the earlier rung ‘Britches Ripper’, and is either a reference to her being the Maid of Life, or else she just sews things a lot?

‘Sodajerk’s Confidante’ took a little digging, but it seems to be a Problem Sleuth reference.

‘Maid in the Shade’... this one’s interesting. It’s already lit up like she’s achieved the rung, and I wonder what prompted it. My first thought just looking at the name of it would be that she’d have to visit the Land of Wind and Shade, but obviously that has not happened. ...Unless she mysteriously achieved the rung shortly after her 13th birthday, when Nannasprite “”concurrently”” appeared in LOWAS.

‘Mourning Starlet’ is also a mystery. I get the pun, but who or what was she mourning? Her freedom? Poppop was long since dead, and her Dad is still alive.

The next rung up from the current ‘FedoraFledgling’ is ‘Heiress Sans Parent’ (a reference to John’s ‘Heir Transparent’), and if that isn’t leading, then... then... THEN I’LL THROW DOWN MY HAT! *levels up* Sadly, it looks like this Dad’s going to bite it too. T_T

And that’s all I’ve got for now!

The well traveled HAT shares in your glorious spoils. The battle-hardened accessory reaches dizzying new heights, leapfrogging from the DOUCHEBAG'S DOMESUCKER rung, to the rare, highly coveted MARTYR'S PISSCRADLE rung.

This is because FedoraFreak tried to use his hat to strain his piss, isn’t it. Did we ever find out what happened to ol’ FF? Did he go god tier?

How can these things be so fast on land???

JESUS.

...Now, wait a second. Gamzee never spent much time with his lusus because it was always out at sea, and I assumed that was because it couldn’t come on land. But if it could, and it just didn’t want to...

Oh no, it's a hostile swarm of those little fairy bulls! They are probably pissed off about the one you killed earlier. They have come for revenge!

Maybe the tinkerbulls and the goatdad will fight each other, allowing Jake to escape! Or... maybe the goatdad will follow in Gamzee’s footsteps and get all weirdly attracted to the tinkerbulls, and the tinkerbulls will get all shy and moe. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

OH MY GOD THE HUMANITY. HOW THEY EXACT THEIR POUND OF FLESH. OH GOD NO OH GOD OH GOD OH GOOOAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.

AHAHAHA, I love it.

> [S] ==>

Oh? Oho? What is this? *click*

...

This might just be the singular most beautiful moment in all of Homestuck. This is it. This is everything I’ve been waiting for. Everything I have ever wanted.

Nearby, someone or something bleats like a goat for strategic purposes. And also

Ironic purposes.

I can die happy now. Seriously, what was that, like, 3000 pages later?

Jane: Run.

The jig is so totally up. Nothing left to do but scurry your little legs to that box, snatch the mail and scram!

Ooh, are we going to get a strife? :D

God dammit, I love Dad so much. That his reaction to WORLD SHATTERING SHIT is just a mild ‘?’ and moving on just makes my fucking day.

Gasp!! He seems to be concerned about Jane being outside most of all! She’s totally gonna get sniped, isn’t she.

> [S] Jane: Get mail.

Wow, or that. I’m assuming Hussie’s pulling the whole ‘OH LOOK JOHN’S HOUSE EXPLODED, SURELY HE COULDN’T HAVE SURVIVED THAT’ thing again, but still, yikes. Poor Dad. :(

Also, if that ‘HOMESTUCK’ logo in the sky is an actual physical object like the words floating around Prospit and Derse are, can people see it? Does it spook the U.S. government? Have people been on manned missions to the Homestuck instead of the moon?

END OF ACT 6 ACT 1.

And that’s the end of this Act Act! (I think. I’m not gonna click that arrow just yet.) I know it makes for a short post, but I said I’d divide things up this way so that I didn’t get overwhelmed making an EOA reaction post for what is essentially half the comic, so there you have it! If you’d like, you can send me fanworks up through A6A1, though I warn you I’m still not done looking at all the stuff that got sent to me for A5A2.

Next up, Reactions, and then Act 6 Intermission 1! Or... maybe the other way around, if the Intermission deserves being included with A6A1′s impressions? We’ll see.

Until next time! ^0^

#NRHS #Nora reads Homestuck #Homestuck #Homestuck liveblog #Part 68 #Act 6 #A6A1

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