#jessie jabbers

[rocket-cast-official]

Alright, da ghost huntin traps are set up!

You've met your match spirits! We will not learn the true meaning of Christmas tonight!

Bring it on!

[jessie-jem]

So Henry and Alex are both canonically insomniacs, right? They both have a hard time sleeping, that is, until they start cuddling each other each night and they finally starting sleeping through till morning, comfortable and safe in each other

[lunnybunny12]

Eddie Munson X Reader

You play?

A/n: never written for Eddie before and not proud of this might edit this doen the line if i make a part 2 

Masterlist 

Requests are open

"You come across a mess hall, filled to the brim with all sorts of faces and creatures from far off lands that you had never heard of. everyone is holding frothing gords if ale and overall having a good time." 

It was quiet. Then again the shop was always quiet on weekdays... and weekends when you thought about it. 

"This is SO boring!" Jessica groaned. "We've been doing  this for hours"

You glared at her. " Were not even doing a campaign. I'm just running through the story"

"It's still boring"

Dnd was never Jessies thing. It was just something she pretended to care about to keep you happy. She'd go along with it as long for short periods but she eventually tired of it. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose and walked to the back room where tom was sat checking the computer. 

"Oh let them complain." Tom chuckled " You won't see her again after today. Then you can clock out and forget all about this place."

You raked your hands through your hair and sat next to Tom. 

Tom was the best boss you ever had. He was like if Santa Claus had a baby with John Candy. Very kind and sweet old man with a can-do attitude to boot. You always really liked Tom.

"I know, I'm just...."

"Nervous? Everyone gets nervous when they go to a new school. It's natural." He smiled and tapped your leg.

"What if no one likes me?"

Tom just laughed and looked at you through his thick glasses. "If no one likes you then THEY are the ones missing out. Not you. And with your looks and imagination? Their gonna love you in Hawkins."

"Thanks, Tom."  You stood and grabbed your bag from the coat hooks.

"Will I still have a job here next summer?"

"Hell,y/n you'll have a job here for as long as you like. But on one condition."

"Shoot."

"Find some friends... Make an effort. Ok?"

"Ok, Tom. I will" you said hugging him.  "Thank you"

---------

Hawkins High was small compared to what you were used to. 

Built wall to ceilings with thick, cheap cinder blocks, painted in the school's green and orange colour scheme that made your eyes burn.

Dotted around the hallways were large panels of cork, drowning in sheets of paper and laminated notices. 

You were about to walk past when you saw a piece of white paper with a devil on it that read "Hellfire club. needing new blood" 

"Hellfire club?.... the hell is that?" you mumbled to yourself.

--------------------------

Halfway through lunch, you found a seat at an almost empty table and began scribbling in your notebook. 

"A goblin enemy? no. half-ork? Dragon born?..... Dragon born."

At the other end of the table, a pair of eyes were flickering over to you every few seconds. They scanned you up and down in curiosity.

"Eddie, stop staring at the new girl dude it's creepy," Dustin said. mouth full of food. 

"Hush Henderson, I am simply observing."

"Well "observe" them less creepily. Besides we need to be looking for new members, not girlfriends."

"I mean he's got a point there Eddie." Mike piped in from next to Dustin " With Lucas in the basketball team, who knows when he'll be coming next"

Eddie wasn't paying attention. He was still observing you intently. Your hands still jotting down whatever was in your head. He watched your lips move as you re-read your work. He was fascinated by you.

Your hair was done in your favourite style and the oversized jacket you wore made you look cute. At least to him anyway. 

"shit!" you whispered to yourself as you tugged your book bag to the seat next to you and rummaged around. 

The jibber-jabber of the freshmen was like white noise to the mettle head at that point. Twisting the rings on his fingers until he saw you pull a familiar red book from your bag.

He immediately sprang to his feet and walked to you. For a few seconds, he lingered behind you, reading what little he could see in your notebook. His eyes weren't deceiving him, what he saw you pull out of the bag was a pretty battered looking Dnd players handbook. 

With a smile, he flapped his arms about and mouthed to the boys " She plays!!" 

Both Dustin and Mike looked at him like he was crazy "What?" 

"She plays DnD!!" he whisper shouted from behind you.

At hearing the little conversation you giggled and looked at the man behind you. He was pretty tall, lanky with chocolate brown eyes and hair that would make the whole band of Queen jealous. He wore black ripped jeans, a blue denim jacket that had different band badges and pins on it (some you recognised), white sneakers and a black and white baseball t-shirt with the words "Hellfire club" printed on it. 

"Hellfire?" you mumbled

You must have been looking at him longer than you were supposed to because you were pulled from your thoughts when you heard the man joke " Like what you see, princess?" 

"Yes, I'm loving the Ozzy Osborn look. very cute"

Eddie laughed and looked a little pink.

"Sorry about him," Henderson said. " He's just excited you play DnD"

You looked directly at the man in front of you and said "Dungeons and Dragons? Is that what Hellfire is? A DnD club?"

The smile that rose on your face when you realised what Hellfire was made Eddie smile right back. 

He straddled the seat next to you and got insanely close to your face. In response, you laughed and covered your face trying to hide your blush. 

At getting a closer look at him, you thought he was pretty. Deep brown eyes, a nice smile, practically invisible stubble and just an overall kind vibe. 

"It is indeed little lady" Eddie smiled  "Eddie Munson"

" (Your full name)... you guys looking for new members?"

[bu11seye]

continued from x / @houseofwisteria

" i know a cowboy when i see one , " she smiles lightly , eyes trailing across his features a bit as she tries to study him , get to know her new neighbors. " i don't got any bad intentions , jasper . " a shrug . " in all honesty i think i'm less of a danger than you lot are . just walkin' into places lookin' all uncanny valley isn't layin' low , y'know . " jabbering away as she does , jessie crosses her arms over her chest .

[onlysoftly]

watched the first season +1st ep of season two of rose matafeos show and 🧡 such an INCREDIBLY uncomfortable & awkward slow burn. absolutely magnificently executed

[astronomy-is-cute]

i stole toasts chocolate milk 😎✌

[thedragonchilde]

Shake my hand in character, OC edition!

Aida: *points at herself questioningly, looks between their face and hand a couple times, gingerly brings hand to her face and nuzzles*

Deux: *starts to point to his good ear, notices hand, shakes vigorously with both paws*

Jessy: *grabs hand, tries to take person with her*

Jabber: *high five!!*

Shucks: *why so formal? gestures for a hug*

[littlemessyjessi]

“Chasing Jessi”:  A Sirius Black Story: Plus Size OC: Chapter 11: “Truths Revealed”

————————-

Sirius Black Imagine Turned Story

Re-Written and Edit of an old story of mine I had on Mibba that deserved some more love and attention, lol.

Sirius Black x Jess Scamander (OC, OFC, PLUS SIZE OC, PLUS SIZE OFC)

————————————

Remus Lupin was a tad shocked to find a certain zany brunette sitting on his bed when he came back from the library.

Even more so, a rather pouty Sirius residing in his bunk.

"Er, hello Jessi." Remus said cautiously as he unceremoniously dumped his books at the end of his bunk and took a seat beside her.

"Hello, Friend." she grinned at him mischievously.

"Errr...." Remus began cautiously as she leaned back and crossed her legs in his lap. 

An impish grin on her face as she wiggled her toes in the rainbow colored toe socks. 

"She's thinks the two of you need to have a little date today." Sirius grumbled angrily from his bunk.

Defined arms crossed over his muscular chest.

He was the picture of anger in that moment.

"A date?!" Remus gasped. "But I thought you and - well, I mean- you and sirius are- padfoot, you can't be-"

Jess rolled her jade eyes dramatically, "It's not a 'date' per se. He's just being dramatic. Alls I want is to ask you if you want to go to a chocolate tasting with me. Sirius is more of a toffee guy. James is vanilla. And Peter -” 

"I am not!" James’ boisterous interrupted her from his bunk. "I just-"

"Oh shut it!" she chastised him. "I wasn't talking to you!"

She huffed angrily at the Quidditch captain before turning back to Remus, "AnyWAY, I know you really like chocolate and I really like chocolate so I thought it would be a fun little adventure between friends. What do ya say?"

"Oh, um- well, I- " Remus began to stutter before glancing at Sirius. "I mean, if Padfoot really isn't comfortable with it."

"Oh, come on!" she huffed. "He doesn't even care because he knows better. He's just mad at me because I won't snog his face off. But that's not important. What IS important is that there is chocolate to be had, Remus. Loads of chocolate. Hot chocolate. Chocolate syrup. Chocolate cupcakes. Chocolate with candy. Chocolate with filling. The possibilities are endless, Remus! And it's free! All it'll cost you is your honest opinions!"

"Well, I guess I could- ooomph!" he began only to be knocked backwards by the wild girl who tackled him on his bed.

"Yay!" she cheered. "Chocoholics forever!"

"Hey, hey, hey!" Sirius grumbled shooting out of bed and pulling his girlfriend off one of his best friends. "I am not cool with you pressing your little self all over Moony."

"Sirius." she asked in a sugary sweet tone.

"Yes, angel?" he smirked, immediately caving to her.

Like he always did. 

Sirius turned to goo for Jess within seconds.

Every time. 

She’d bat an eyelash at him and the poor boy was helpless. 

"If you don't behave then I'm withholding kisses for a week." she said in that same tone.

His smirk fell and he glowered at her, "You wouldn't."

"Try me." she challenged.

"Ok, firstly, you wouldn't do it anyway." he said and her eyes widened at the challenge.

"And secondly, you think I can't live without your kisses for a week?" he asked. "YOU try ME."

"It's ON!" she said jumping at him and shoving him backwards onto his bed.

"Starting right now, you are not my snookums!" she grumbled, her competitive nature flaring. "Remus is my snookums!"

"Hey, whoa, I was just in this for the chocolate..." he laughed nervously.

"Come on, snookums." Jess grumbled as she shoved her feet into the fuzzy purple boots before proceeding to grab Remus’ hand and burst from the dorm. "We've got chocolate to eat."

Sirius watched them go.

Jess's determined face and Remus' nervous one.

They'd been in somewhat of a funk all day long.

They kept arguing.

Every little thing turned into a fight.

It was really putting a damper on his mood.

He didn't know what the problem was and in reality...maybe he'd let things get a bit too far.

Perhaps, it was because Christmas was drawing nearer every day and it put him in a bad mood.

He wouldn't be going home this year, not that it was ever good anyway.

And he wouldn't be going to the Potters since they were going on a little vacation.

And he was fairly certain that Jess WAS going home.

He just....he felt confused and he was taking it out on her.

Though he'd probably eat his own tongue before he'd admit that.

Poor Remus on the other hand, was being dragged behind this girl with surprisingly considerable strength.

"Oi, slow down, Jess." he chuckled nervously. "Where the fire?"

"In my belly!" she grumbled. "Sirius is being impossible! He just...he just- well he burns my biscuits today!"

"Burns your biscuits?" Remus tried not to laugh.

"It's something Aunt Queenie used to say..." she waved him off.

"Well, what's wrong?" Remus asked.

"I don't know!" she moaned. "It started this morning when I asked him what his plans were for Christmas."

"Ah." Remus said knowingly.

"Ah?" Jess questioned. "Ah, what?"

"Better let him tell you." Remus said with a shrug.

"Aw, Remus!" she whined. "Don't do this to me!"

"It's not my secret to tell." Remus said with another shrug.

"And you'd know all about secrets." she said off handedly.

"What?" Remus came to a stop and looked at her.

She halted and lifted an eyebrow at him.

She walked forward and hugged him around the middle.

"Remus, I know about your little furball transformation once a month." she said into his chest and patted his back when she felt him tense. "And I don't care. I mean, I care about YOU but it doesn't change my perception of you. I just thought you should know that."

He stared at her disbelief.

"What do you- how did you-Did Lily tell-no,she wouldn't- how long?" he stammered.

"Since first year." she said with a shrug making the iridescent rainbow scale jumper slide off her shoulder. 

Remus' eyes bulged out of his head, "What do you mean since first year? Jess, we're in seventh year now! How could you have - ?!"

She stared at him oddly from his little outburst before lifting her eyebrow and plopping a hand on her hip.

"Honestly, Remus.  I'm obsessed with magical creatures. Did you honestly think in the seven years that we've known each other that I wouldn't have read about werewolves and picked up a few things?" she said in almost disbelief.

Poor Remus was flabbergasted.

He straightened and looked at her with a little twinkle in his eye.

"You are a lot more clever than people give you credit for." he said a smile tugging at his lips as he pulled her jumper back up on her shoulder for her. 

She smirked evilly and said, "And let's keep it that way."

"Why?" he questioned.

She lolled her head to the side, "It plays to my advantage, Dear Remus. If they think I'm stupid, they never see my calculations. I know most people think I've gone mad. In the same sense as Xeno. But we just see things differently than others. Now are we gonna stand her jabbering for the rest of the day or are we gonna dive face first into a chocolate fountain? Because I'm fully prepared to die that way!"

Remus took in the wide jade eyes, the messy brown hair and flushed cheeks....and fell in love.

Not romantically.

Not sexually.

But in that moment, Remus loved Jess and she changed for him.

She became more than just Sirius' girlfriend and Lily's friend.

She became family to him and the poor boy was overcome with it all.

He wound his arms around her and pulled her in for a tight hug.

One of his lanky arms wrapped around her soft middle and the other along her back and shoulders. 

His long fingers threaded into her messy brown hair. 

He didn't have to say anything for her to understand.

She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed tight and hard...like she was trying to convince him that she'd never leave him.

Eventually the two of them parted and she linked her arm with his before dragging him off towards the Hufflepuff common rooms.

However, neither of them noticed the Gryffindor hiding beneath James' invisibility cloak.

Sirius had long since slid down the wall watching one of his best friends and his girlfriend.

In that moment, Sirius realized something.

Jess was what he wanted in life.

Other things would come and go but she was his constant.

Everything else could be changed around as long as he had her.

He'd never realized just how pure of heart she was.

Sure she had her faults.

Everyone did.

Hell, he had plenty of them.

-----------------------------------

Chapter 10

Chapter 12 

-----------------------------------

Hello my little chocolate chips and banana muffins! 

So we have some development! A wee bit of a lover’s quarrel and a deepening friendship with Jess and Remmypoo!

How is everyone feeling about it so far?  I’d love to hear from you! Please feel free to comment, reblog with your thoughts and/or smash the ask box! Hearing from you makes my day!

All my love darlings!

Kenny

@frankie2902

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@adventuresofnight

Love, Kenny

This felt appropriate 

[theangrypokemaniac]

Sinnoh has massive flaws as an era, although it's starting to feel like the good old days compared to the present piss-poor offerings.

The major drawback is the amount of 'recurring characters', ones not good enough to be in it fully, but inflicted upon us nevertheless.

I did care about Ash. I did care about Team Rocket.

I was prepared to care about The Misty Replacement, as in the girl shipped with Ash.

I was prepared to care about The Brock Replacement, that is the older brother figure who does all the cooking, carries the medicine, and knows about Pokémon.

I don't give a toss about extras who outstay their welcome.

Hoenn only had Drew and Harley. What was wrong with that?

There are just too bloody many.

Why does Dawn require so many opponents, as if she's of the greatest importance? Why won't Jessie suffice?

I accept the necessity of Paul as The Rival, and we were at least permitted to resent him initially, before the writers fanboy'd like there was no tomorrow.

I admit I liked two of them. They therefore featured the least.

Typical.

Nando

The Blondel of Iberia

A softly-spoken, raven-locked troubadour, roaming the many pathways of life, playing his songs for those weary travellers he encounters on the road.

He's wearing a cloak! The finest use of material to ever be invented!

All this ethereal grace considering the dub lumbered him with the most appallingly unsuitable name possible.

It could've been Raphael, or Dante, or Leonardo.

Oh no, let's name him after a restaurant chain. That adds gravitas.

His lyre pays tribute to Mew, because Nando knows she's The Rarest Of All Pokémon, thus refuses to be impressed by any deformed horse like Arceus throwing its weight around.

Damn straight.

Ursula

A pretty girl with lovely clothes and the spark of a proper personality.

You're not wanted round these parts, love.

I have no particular animosity towards Dawn, but it irritates me how the world revolves around her whims, where if she's lost in the woods, it's a major disaster, and if an attack heads in her direction, she must be protected in case she shatters.

It makes a refreshing change to find someone firmly inoculated against the lures of the temptress.

Also, alongside Ursula from Dinosaur King (the real Jessie), I'm glad of any attempt to reclaim that name, considering most of my generation, upon hearing it, think only about evil old octopus women.

As for the rest?

It's that bad I prefer the Unova bunch to these.

Reggie

Reggie is even more of a knob than Paul. As above, being Ash's enemy meant that, if only by narrative, he was intended to be somewhat disliked.

Not Reginald. No, he's the kind one.

Oh really?

When Ash and Paul have their showdown, Reg starts wittering that it's just as well Chimchar took up with Ash, since he wasn't suited to Paul's 'battle style'.

Battle style.

Is the what he calls mental and physical cruelty?

In Reg's amoral cesspit of a mind, there is no right and wrong, so do whatever you feel.

Reggie is quite aware of how his brother tortures Pokémon, and not only is he unconcerned, he excuses it with euphemism, hoping the audience will obligingly forget too.

What's more, he implies it's Chimchar's fault for not pulling his weight, and Paul abandoning him was the compassionate thing to do.

Cynthia

Suffering severe Bridge Nose Syndrome.

She may be Champion, but I don't remember Lance turning up all the time where he wasn't wanted.

She doesn't even use her influence properly. Rather than give it straight to Paul, order him to shape up and stop spanking the monkey, she fannies about with her cod mysticism, emptily preaching about how Ash and Paul are spiritually linked, with magical, beeyewteefull events taking form just because they met.

That's right, don't bother about Paul clearly being a psychopath, for 'tis ART!

It's the same as trying to convince me that Ash, Dawn and Brock were the Divine Trio because they all saw Something Nasty In The Lake District, as if they have an intrinsic bond foretold in ancient prophecy.

The writers pull this knowing two thirds of the Holy Trinity, plus Paul the Fallen Angel, will be leaving, at which point we'll be expected to stop being overawed at the great majesty they all apparently possess and transfer allegiance to their usurpers.

What's the point?

Angie

Yet another smackhead from that lunatic stare.

What shining genius decided giving all the characters contracted pupils was a good idea?

She looks like one of those kids whose parents dealt with nits the traditional way:

Shaving the entire head and painting it purple.

A barnet resembling privet hacked at by a paralytic gardener before he conked out.

I've seen her arc three or four times, and I still remember nothing about her, except for the amazing skill she possesses to make Ash sneeze on command from a distance.

Conway

One word: nonce.

A clichéd weirdo fitting into Pokémon's Four-Eyed Freaks fixation, where anyone with a slight visual impairment is a weedy, know-it-all bastard or on a register.

Oh yes, and this lad comes with hidden delights, because his glasses gleam like a giant cockroach, just in case he wasn't creepy enough.

Zoey

The human black hole. Has the incredible ability to suck all the joy out of a room just by appearing. A personage of absolute lead.

Too nice and over familiar, lacking a single detectable personality trait.

Bland, empty, and with the charisma of vomit-sodden cardboard.

Sinnoh is a prolonged saga as it is, padded with nonentities like her and Kenny.

Alright, episodes must be devoted to Dawn's Contest career, however tiresome it is, but why exactly do we need any about Zoey and Kenny? Why should we care?

Every time I sat through a competition Dawn lost, I resented that she was no further along on her quest, equating to another episode eaten away by this shallow, blackened hymn to superficiality.

Compare this indulgent treatment to the sneering disrespect shown to Jessie, an actual main character, who not only had to win her Ribbons practically off screen, but the writers delighted in hammering home how worthless she was in only scraping into the Grand Festival because Princess Salvia took pity on the deluded wretch.

They favour their own inventions over the original cast, then dump 'em as soon as the next generation arrives, so how could they ever matter if even the creators eagerly cast them aside?

After all the effort on my part to put up with the entire witless farce, Zoey beats Dawn in the finals!

Why?!

I understood the unspoken law of Ash not being allowed to win a League until the very last series, for fear whatever came after would be anticlimactic, but why should this deadening failure apply to May and Dawn?

By the culmination of the Contest rigmarole, it's obvious they'll be making their exit for the next region's Girl, so why couldn't either bid farewell to the fans with a victory?

Why must they be incompetent too?

Even if achieving their dream dampened any hunger to carry on, they're departing anyway, so what difference does it make?

At least Ash will continue, but for May and Dawn, it's the end.

How could any fan be satisfied with a smarmy vacuum of a creature like Zoey succeeding instead?

Barry

Eyes of molten evil.

The second-worst character ever created (Iris is top of the ranks), Barry is a smug, arrogant, screeching dweeb jabbering his oh-so endearing catchphrase about fining anyone who slightly irks him, so sure is he that his feelings should come above everyone else's

He truly believes he has a God-given entitlement to demand lesser lifeforms should arrange themselves to suit his pleasure, that they are morally compelled to shield him from  meagre inconvenience.

Twat.

Knocking the little geck out of the League was the most noble thing Paul ever did. It practically redeems him.

This is what I cannot comprehend:

Ursula is openly conceited, rude to Dawn, and brags about her own excellence even after losing.

We're asked to dislike her.

Barry slags Ash off constantly, is convinced of his own divinity, and jeers at Team Rocket.

We're supposed to see him as a 'good guy' and welcome his arrival.

Why? Are Ash and Team Rocket fair game, but offending Saint Dawn's intolerable?

Again, it astounds me how temporary, region-specific stars seem to count for more than those who've been here since the beginning.

Whilst they're here, that is. Once gone, you wouldn't know they'd existed.

Kenny

He wears a matador outfit to compete.

It's a crying shame Tauros was never given the opportunity to gore him.

As usual, it's Piplup I blame.

Each generation likes to flaunt the starter Pokémon, presumably in the hope of flogging more games, that's why Ash usually catches all three, or they're spread out amongst his friends.

It's about time Team Rocket had one.

Can't do that, they only appear five times per series now.

Piplup is a whiny attention whore who refuses to evolve. In consequence, he can't advertise the next stages in the evolution chain, so we have to keep seeing Barry and Kenny instead, that's why Empoleon and Prinplup are always walking about.

This equates to three characters having the same Pokémon, albeit in different incarnations.

There's variety.

However, Kenny's true purpose is much more grim than that.

Fans will ship Ash with The Girl, a useless endeavour when it's destined to come to nothing when she's kicked out.

In Hoenn and Sinnoh, an effort was made to wean shippers off in preparation for the upcoming split, so alternative suitors were introduced, with the girls effectively pushed on to them.

May got Drew.

I don't mind that. He had some refinements.

Dawn got Kenny.

...

What, you want me to cheer for such a revolting couple?

Have I not suffered enough?

What unpardonable crime did Dawn do to deserve such a horrible fate?

She's not a bad-looking girl. She can do better than an ugly, portly, shrunken, pie-faced cretin! 

You do this to me when Nando exists?

Sod the age gap, that never concerned anyone here.

This being the Kenny who spends four years belittling Dawn by constantly reminding her of a humiliating childhood experience, even giving her a nickname too!

Dawn is visibly distressed when he does this, but he's a fine candidate for romance?

She has to settle for a sweaty, lecherous herbert like him, who doesn't even try to atone for his unfortunate mug by being kind?

I suspect the whole Sinnoh adventure was really him wearing down her self-esteem until she believed he was the best available, wanting her to be grateful for his slobbery attentions.

It won't stop there either. He'll trap her for the rest of her life by isolating her from friends, followed by accusations of how undeserving she is of his 'love'.

Such is Dawn's lot: absent father, pushy mother, whinging penguin and abusive boyfriend.

Kenny's already a perv:

He's not looking at her face.

She knows he's not.

Ash and Pikachu have noticed an interesting feature further down.

Aipom likes it too.

[cometmedal]

I’m back once more with Hero’s Cuties ripped from Disney Heroes! These are less missions and more story bits from the game, but gosh, if they ain’t just the cutest thing I ever laid my eyes on. Now, enough jibber-jabber -- please enjoy!

.#Notes: Batch: 4.1 Max Length: 14;.CALHOUN_FELIX_1_TITLE=House Hunters .#Notes: Batch: 4.1 Max Length: 75;.CALHOUN_FELIX_1_DESC=Our newly wedded heroes search for an affordable apartment in the City. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_1_STORY_1=The newlyweds make a list of their requirements. Calhoun wants something solid and defensible, Felix wants lots of light and space. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_1_STORY_2=Chief Bogo directs the couple to a studio near the precinct headquarters. It's certainly defensible, but also the size of a postage stamp. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_1_STORY_3=Cruella DeVille suggests a penthouse in the Fashion District. It's beautiful, but three times their budget. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_1_STORY_4=Captain Jack Sparrow suggests a fixer-upper houseboat. Felix can fix the leaks but no amount of hammering will get rid of the fishy smell. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_1_STORY_5=Vanellope finds a treehouse in the park. It fits all their requirements, but quickly sets off Calhoun's allergies. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_1_STORY_6=Calhoun hits the jackpot with a spacious loft in the Port. The rent's a bargain due to faulty plumbing, easily fixed by Felix. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_1_STORY_7=Our heroes stop by the local furniture store. They leave with a bed, some chairs, and five jars of jam. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_1_STORY_8=It takes hours to build the new furniture, but our heroes quickly settle in, excited to start the next chapter of their lives together. - .#Notes: Batch: 4.1 Max Length: 14;.CALHOUN_FELIX_2_TITLE=Clean Sweep .#Notes: Batch: 4.1 Max Length: 75;.CALHOUN_FELIX_2_DESC=Felix and Calhoun are on a mission to clean up their new neighborhood. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_2_STORY_1=Calhoun finds a wasp's nest in the backyard. She pulls out a flamethrower. It might be overkill, but she wants to be thorough. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_2_STORY_2=Felix turns over the newly scorched earth and plants a flower garden. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_2_STORY_3=Raccoons get into the garbage! Our heroes clean up the mess and order new cans with lockable lids. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_2_STORY_4=Felix creates a broom attachment for Calhoun's cruiser. A few hours later, the sidewalks are clean and clear. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_2_STORY_5=Our heroes work together to build an arbor and bench for the new garden. Now they have a perfect spot for watching the sunset. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_2_STORY_6=Felix fixes the cracks in the newly cleaned sidewalk, and the potholes in the street. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_2_STORY_7=Calhoun builds an extreme bug zapper. Felix makes her turn down the voltage when it causes a block-wide blackout. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_2_STORY_8=Flowers are planted, garbage cans righted, and the sidewalks sparkle. Now this is a neighborhood to be proud of! - .#Notes: Batch: 4.1 Max Length: 14;.CALHOUN_FELIX_3_TITLE=Shall We Dance .#Notes: Batch: 4.1 Max Length: 75;.CALHOUN_FELIX_3_DESC=Felix wants to teach Calhoun to dance. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_3_STORY_1=Calhoun dances the same way she fights; hard, fast, and fierce. Needless to say, it takes a toll on Felix's toes. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_3_STORY_2=Vanellope suggests appealing to Calhoun's competitive nature by entering them in a dance off. Felix heartily agrees and signs them up. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_3_STORY_3=Once Felix tells Calhoun about the contest, she doubles down on practice. The two quickly gain a rhythm, perfecting their routine. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_3_STORY_4=It's the day of the competition and our heroes look on as Buzz and Jessie execute a flawless flamenco routine. This is going to be tough! .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_3_STORY_5=A gentleman in a striped suit walks on stage with a group of penguins. Within moments, everyone is laughing at their antics. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_3_STORY_6=The final opponents are a group of ostriches and hippos. Calhoun scoffs at first, but their ballet routine is both elegant and challenging. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_3_STORY_7=Our heroes take a deep breath. This is it! Calhoun holds her pose as Felix prepares to run onstage with the start of the music. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_3_STORY_8=Calhoun's natural athleticism paired with Felix's enthusiasm equals a dynamite dancing duo! They handily beat the competition. - .#Notes: Batch: 4.1 Max Length: 14;.CALHOUN_FELIX_4_TITLE=Sweet Nothin's .#Notes: Batch: 4.1 Max Length: 75;.CALHOUN_FELIX_4_DESC=Felix wants to start a love note correspondence with Calhoun. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_4_STORY_1="Roses are red, violets are blue. When you take off your boots, the room smells like...more roses?" Felix groans and crumples the page. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_4_STORY_2=After several more poetry attempts, Felix tries the sincere route. "My lady, just being near you gives me the honey glow something awful." .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_4_STORY_3="When I'm overcome with emotion, words seem to go all higgledy-piggledy on me. But I just had to say some of the things I love about you." .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_4_STORY_4="I love how worried you get when I'm flyin' your spaceship. And how you try to hide it, but I can see it on your face plain as day." .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_4_STORY_5="I love hearin' you tell stories about your favorite battles. And how you get so excited that you reenact 'em, using our couch for cover." .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_4_STORY_6="I love the way you arrange your slices of bacon so that they're parallel on the plate, then say 'At ease, soldier,' before eatin' 'em." .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_4_STORY_7="I love how if there's a movie I want to see, I'll see it with you. If there's an adventure I'm gonna to go on, I'll do it with you. " .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_4_STORY_8="All these things and more are what I love. You are one dynamite gal, and I feel so lucky to be with you every day from now until forever." - .#Notes: Batch: 4.1 Max Length: 14;.CALHOUN_FELIX_5_TITLE=From the Field .#Notes: Batch: 4.1 Max Length: 75;.CALHOUN_FELIX_5_DESC=Calhoun attempts to respond to Felix's love letters. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_5_STORY_1="Status report: Dishwasher needs to be emptied. Please complete this critical mission." With a sigh, Felix dutifully completes the task. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_5_STORY_2=Felix talks with Calhoun about the letter. He's wondering if she might write something more...romantic. Calhoun sighs and promises to try. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_5_STORY_3="Mission Proposal: Catch a flick at seventeen hundred tomorrow night." Felix grins. It's not exactly romantic, but it's a start. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_5_STORY_4=Felix comes home to find...are those supposed to be cupcakes? "Hey short stack, know ya had a hard day today. They're vanilla." .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_5_STORY_5="Hey hubbie, thanks for the notes. I never thought I'd find someone after Brad, but then you found me." .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_5_STORY_6="I'm no good with this mushy stuff, you know that. But having you by my side makes me feel stronger than a grade A riot shield." .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_5_STORY_7="Being with you helps me face every challenge that comes. Whether it's hordes of Creeps or just the day-to-day of marriage." .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_5_STORY_8="My life may have been wild before, but our life together is the best adventure I could ask for. I'm head over combat boots for ya." - .#Notes: Batch: 4.1 Max Length: 14;.CALHOUN_FELIX_6_TITLE=It's a Party! .#Notes: Batch: 4.1 Max Length: 75;.CALHOUN_FELIX_6_DESC=Excited to show off their new digs, our heroes throw a housewarming party. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_6_STORY_1=Calhoun hops on her cruiser to pick up supplies while Felix prepares the ultimate party dance mix. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_6_STORY_2=Only a few more days until the party! Our heroes clean their new place from top to bottom and send out invitations. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_6_STORY_3=Felix heads to the market to pick up the food while Calhoun moves the furniture to make room for the buffet. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_6_STORY_4=The night of the party arrives. Our heroes stand awkwardly near the front door, nervously awaiting their guests. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_6_STORY_5=The apartment is soon full of friends old and new. The conversation is flowing and the food is fabulous. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_6_STORY_6=Oh no! Calhoun's interrogating the new neighbors and Ralph's accidentally wrecked the buffet. Felix fixes the food and turns up the tunes. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_6_STORY_7=Felix saves the evening with an improvised dance party. Within moments, the floor is shaking and the walls are bumping. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_6_STORY_8=What a night! There may have been a few hiccups at first, but everyone leaves full and happy. - .#Notes: Batch: 4.1 Max Length: 14;.CALHOUN_FELIX_7_TITLE=Derby Girl .#Notes: Batch: 4.1 Max Length: 75;.CALHOUN_FELIX_7_DESC=Calhoun wants to try out for a new roller derby team. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_7_STORY_1=Felix doesn't understand why Calhoun would want to add another hobby to their already busy lives, especially one so dangerous. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_7_STORY_2=Calhoun explains she's been in a bit of a rut, bouncing between their life in the City and "Hero's Duty." She wants to try something new. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_7_STORY_3=Felix arrives home the next day with a brand new pair of black and red skates. Calhoun picks him up, giving him a big "thank you" kiss. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_7_STORY_4=Our hero may be tough as nails, but skating isn't easy. After a few hours of painful practice, Felix rushes out to get Calhoun a helmet. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_7_STORY_5=The try-outs are only a week away, and all that practice has paid off. Calhoun's skating skills are top notch. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_7_STORY_6=Now that her skating skills are up to par, it's time to focus on the rules... What in the city limits is a "platinum unicorn?" .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_7_STORY_7=Rules memorized, skates polished, and helmet painted, our hero heads to the tryouts. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_7_STORY_8=Calhoun made head jammer! For the first week she insists that everyone call her by her derby name, "Sergeant Slay D. Bug" - .#Notes: Batch: 4.1 Max Length: 14;.CALHOUN_FELIX_8_TITLE=Date Night! .#Notes: Batch: 4.1 Max Length: 75;.CALHOUN_FELIX_8_DESC=Our heroes explore the City looking for great date spots. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_8_STORY_1=First, our heroes try out the theater. Felix adores the singing and dancing, but Calhoun falls asleep before the intermission. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_8_STORY_2=Food truck date night! Our heroes roam the City looking for the best street food. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_8_STORY_3=Food poisoning disaster! Calhoun will be cleaning up pixels for weeks. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_8_STORY_4=Calhoun takes Felix to the Midway for some fun in the arcade. She breaks the skee ball record and gets him a giant teddy bear. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_8_STORY_5=Our heroes head to the Covered Market for some fresh pastries. They happily snack on flaky and buttery croissants at a cozy French bakery. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_8_STORY_6=Next stop - the Tiki Room. Felix has pineapple juice in a giant pineapple while Calhoun orders something that gets set on fire. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_8_STORY_7=Felix finds a cozy spot that serves amazing Thai food. Felix's cheeks get red from the spice, but it could also be the honey glow. .#Notes: Batch: 7 Max Length: 140;.CALHOUN_FELIX_8_STORY_8=Our heroes find a quiet bench on the rooftops to watch the sunset. The perfect way to end a great date.

[rocket-cast-official]

It's Christmastime, you know what that means?

Settin' up da Ghost Catchin' traps! Ain't no ghosts gonna try n' teach us moral lessons dis year!

[jessie-jem]

So I was thinking about queer media and I got all excited and my brain just kept screaming "QUEER MEDIA QUEER MEDIA" and then I randomly remembered that episode of Community where the Dean yells GAAAAAY MARRIAGE wearing the devil costume and long story short I made this

[rocket-cast-official]

I don't know what all of you are complaining about. We get blown up all the time and we're just fine. Being fired out of a cannon into a steel wall is nothing.

[rocket-cast-official]

I've never been so thankful to be an anime character.

[rocket-cast-official]

People hate Team Rocket because they hate to see a small business winning.

[rocket-cast-official]

I don't see why we needed to be replaced. What do those Explorer chumps have that we don't?