#johnjaeyong

[what-if-nct]

Gotta say I'm genuinely surprised Jungwoo straight up took off his shirt and joined JohnJaeYong as a member of 127's shirtless line. Seems he either got a lot more confident after 2 Baddies or having his hyungs picking on him made him more shy.

I'm actually not that surprised. I knew this day would come. Cause he's given flashes of tummy before but it was once in awhile. It was a matter of time. Yuta too. It was a matter of time for Yuta too. But Jungwoo has a similar not caring attitude to Johnny so him shedding his clothes after knowing he's allowed to just feels natural. With Johnny he's so comfortable in himself and free you ask him to take his shirt off and he's like say less. To be fair though, them playing in the sun shirtless was the most natural thing to see. It reminded me of watching the boys skateboard and play around after school in like 8th grade with my friends. They always took their shirts off for some reason. This blonde skater boy would hug me while shirtless and ask for a kiss. And say yay when I did it. And I feel like that would be Jungwoo 100%. Jungwoo would just be a happy little puppy seeking affection not aware of the impact he has while shirtless. Taeyong absolutely being cooed and fawned over. While girls are squealing and giggling over Johnjae and Jungwoo is tapping his cheek for kisses and hugging everyone who will hug him. Like I just love boys so much.

[tyongf-nct]

johnjaeyong foursome - 2.8k

this was originally an ask but literally somehow turned into an almost 3k word mini fic, so in conclusion pls know that I know i’m a whore

~

As a backup dancer for SM, you spent most of your time with the female groups. Most groups decided to have backup dancers of the same gender as it usually fit their concepts better, so you weren’t too close with many male idols. However, a few members of NCT 127 had caught your eye recently, especially now that their recent comeback had them spending a lot of time rehearsing in Seoul.

You grabbed your towel to wipe the sweat from your brow as you finished practicing with the other dancers. Tomorrow you would practice with the girl group, but you all had the responsibility of learning the choreography first to have it perfect by the time the idols came in. It was a lot of work, and as fun as the job was, it could also be extremely stressful. There was lots of pressure to look good, but still eat well enough to be able to dance with plenty of energy.

As you walked out of the door of the studio, you ran into a tall figure, you head slamming into a hard chest. Disgruntled, you looked up at the person, finding the dimpled face of Jaehyun. Instantly, you heart fluttered in you chest at the sight of him. You had definitely had an increasingly intense crush on him these days, and his lopsided smile was not making it any better at the moment.

“Hey, y/n,” he said, tilting his cute head to the side. You grinned back, suddenly feeling not so tired.

“Hey, Jaehyun. How was rehearsal?”

“Pretty good, although I’m starving now. Johnny hyung, Taeyong hyung, and I were just about to go get some food, do you want to come with?” He asked, and your eyes widened at the offer. You had only hung out with them a few times before, and mostly in the company of other dancers and staff. You couldn’t pass up the request though, not when you had been dying to spend more time with Jaehyun anyway.

“Sure,” you smiled, “Just let me go freshen up and I’ll meet you guys at the restaurant.”

Jaehyun nodded and smiled again, adding a cringy wink at the end. You giggled and walked past him, practically skipping to your apartment. After showering and changing you walked to the restaurant nearby, which turned out to be more of a pub with the smell of freshly grilled beef wafting outside. Walking through the door, you looked around for the boys to see them sitting at a round table in a corner, the restaurant’s patrons unaware of the idols laughing together loudly.

Taeyong noticed you first, waving you over with a smile. He was glowing in the soft lighting, his bleached hair looking ethereal against sharp features. You made your way over to sit in between Johnny and Jaehyun, with Taeyong directly across from you. Having all three of them look at you made you squirm in your seat, so you fiddled with the silverware, suddenly self-conscious of your casual outfit choice.

“Hey, y/n,” Taeyong greeted you first, polite as ever, with a gentle smile. Seeing his soft eyes made you calm down a bit, so you took a deep breath and said hello to all three boys, small talk starting between you all.

“How are you feeling these days, y/n? Getting enough rest?” Johnny asked, cutting strips of meat for you over the small table grill. You nodded, taking a sip of the beer they had ordered you.

“I’m tired sometimes but it’s mostly fun,” you smiled, admiring the cute part in his hair. It made him look so boyish despite his intimidating size. He placed some meat on your plate, and you thanked him softly.

“I don’t know about you all, but I could really use a night in with a movie to relax,” Jaehyun said, and you all nodded in agreement, mouths full of food. The night carried on like that, the four of you eating, laughing, and sharing stories of fellow company members until most of the restaurant had cleared out.

“We should probably go before they kick us out,” you laughed, and the boys agreed. They paid for your meal despite the insistent denials, and you finally accepted defeat when Jaehyun pulled you outside by the wrist.

“Hey. Do you want to come over to ours tonight for that movie? We can eat some snacks,” he grinned, and your stomach flipped over twice at the thought of being alone with him. Well, not alone, seeing as Taeyong and Johnny would be there, but that wasn’t a bad thing either.

“Um...sure,” you said, nodding yes despite the shakiness in your voice. Jaehyun smiled brightly and told the others of the plan as they walked outside as well. The two boys cheered as you all walked back to the dorms, and butterflies fluttering around in your tummy.

By the time you were seated on the couch with the movie on, you knew there would be no one you’d be able to concentrate on anything on the screen. You were squished between Johnny and Jaehyun, Taeyong on the other side of Johnny practically on his lap with how close together the four of you were. Your heart slammed against your chest and was probably audible from the other side of the room, a warm blush resting permanently in your cheeks. Johnny’s muscular thighs pressed against yours, his jeans scratching against your almost bare thighs because of the shorts you were wearing. Jaehyun spread his legs further, somehow, then they already were, and you sucked in a breath at how close you were to the both of them. You felt overheated and slightly nauseous, but you couldn’t bring yourself to ask for more room. A tingling sensation began between your thighs, and you cursed yourself for dirty thoughts at such a bad time.

“This movie’s boring,” Taeyong mumbled, and the others nodded in agreement. You kept quiet for fear of accidentally letting out some embarrassing noise. You were so turned on by the fact that the boys on either side of you were so big compared to your small frame, and they both smelled amazing. While you were normally focused on Jaehyun when he was in the room, being around all three of them like this was allowing your imagination to run wild. Taeyong looked across Johnny’s chest and met your eyes, a small smirk forming at the redness on your cheeks. Clearly, he had an idea of what you were thinking. You silently pleaded with him to not saying anything, and he laughed under his breath, nodding once to calm you.

“Shit, it’s so hot in here,” Johnny complained, standing up to take off his shirt in one fell swoop. You choked, letting out a sort of squeak as Jaehyun patted your back to stop the coughing.

“Are you okay?” He chuckled, and Taeyong laughed loudly, obviously amused by what was happening. You sent Taeyong a sharp glare before nodding, taking a deep breath and trying not to look at Johnny’s very present abs.

“I’m fine,” you tried to smile, but were too embarrassed. It was evident you were surprised at Johnny’s top half, but what was he thinking, just undressing like that in front of you?

“Come to think of it, I’m kind of hot too,” Jaehyun said, standing up to remove his shirt too. Oh God.

Taeyong cackled, head falling back onto the couch cushions. You covered your face, positive it was bright red, and you could hear one of them snicker. They were definitely enjoying this way too much. Thankfully, Taeyong didn’t move to take off his shirt—you weren’t sure you’d be able to handle him, too, truthfully.

Johnny and Jaehyun sat back down next to you, warm skin against your bare arms this time. You closed your eyes, wondering if they had planned this before you agreed to come. The movie played on, but it was clear no one was paying attention now. Johnny placed a large hand on your thigh, and you whimpered, unable to stop the noise from coming out. Refusing to look at any of the boys, you kept your eyes glued to the screen. You had no idea what was happening on the screen, and your ears rung as sparks of electricity flew up your body. The tingling sensation had turned into full heat, and wetness grew in your panties as a million scenarios ran through your head.

No. You barely knew these guys. They were just starting to be your friends. And there were three of them here right now, not just one.

The words flew right out of your head as Jaehyun placed a finger under your chin to turn your face to his, staring deeply into your eyes. Time paused, just for a moment, and you stopped breathing as he leaned in to you.

“Can I kiss you?” He whispered, hot breath fanning against your lips. Unsure what took over you, you just barely nodded your head. Apparently, that was all the confirmation he needed, and he pressed his lips to yours.

The kiss was surprisingly soft, his lips moving ever so slightly against yours. You felt the swipe of his tongue and you moaned against him, pulling back fast in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me,” you said, but Jaehyun shook his head.

“It’s ok, I liked it,” he said, and you just about came in your pants at that. You finally took your eyes off his, and remembered suddenly that he was shirtless. That two of them were shirtless, and all three were watching this crazy situation unfold. What the hell was happening?

“Fuck. This is kind of hot,” Johnny said, and you whipped around to look at him. Him and Taeyong were staring with their mouths open, eyes almost black from dilated pupils. Taeyong’s lips were red and swollen as he pulled them in between his teeth repeatedly, and Johnny ran a hand through his hair, the other still placed on your thigh. Goosebumps prickled your skin at the sight of them sitting right next to you, watching Jaehyun pull you into another kiss. Your eyes stayed open in surprise at the sudden connection, but fluttered closed as he stroked your cheek softly. The kiss deepened, and you could feel Johnny’s grip tightening on your leg.

“Fuck, let me kiss her,” Johnny’s voice was thick, and you moaned against Jaehyun again. He pulled you apart and you almost complained, until Johnny grabbed you by the jaw and slammed his mouth against yours. He pushed his tongue inside of you immediately, not cautious like Jaehyun, and your body responded with knots in your stomach. You core clenched around nothing and you wished for nothing more than to take your clothes off right then and there. It was stifling hot at this point and you had never been so turned on in your life.

Johnny sucked at your lips as his tongue pushed around inside your mouth, the hand on your thigh traveling up slowly. You reached a hand up to lay on his chest, the muscled skin slick with sweat.

“Oh shit,” Jaehyun moaned under his breath, and you couldn’t agree more. Johnny lifted your body onto his lap suddenly, letting you straddle him. Fuck, this was really happening.

Taeyong leaned over to kiss your neck, and a rush of arousal ran through you as you moaned into Johnny’s mouth. Detaching you’re lips from his, Johnny whined in complaint before realizing what you were doing. You grabbed Taeyong’s face with both hands, desperate to taste his mouth too. You kissed him hard, and he slipped his tongue into your mouth right away, saliva squelching loudly from all three of their kisses.

“Holy fuck, are we really doing this?” Jaehyun asked, and you pulled away from Taeyong to look at all three of them, still on Johnny’s lap.

“Only if everyone is comfortable with it,” Taeyong said, and you all looked at each other. Johnny and Jaehyun nodded, and you took a breath before answering.

“Yes. Please yes,” you sighed, and the three boys smiled at you response. Taeyong lifted his shirt over his head and you took off yours too, hoping you weren’t too sweaty from the suffocating air in the room. All three boys gaped at you chest, despite your bra being nothing special, but the attention made you blush anyway. Still seated on Johnny’s lap, he flipped the two of your around so that he was on top of you, your head resting against the couch cushions.

“Just let us know if you want to stop,” Jaehyun said, and you nodded. Johnny got on his knees in front of you, and you cursed under your breath at the thought of what was going to happen next.

“I want to taste you. Is that okay?” He asked, and you nodded vigorously. He laughed lightly, unbuttoning your shorts and pulling them down your legs to toss them off to the side. Suddenly very aware of how exposed you were right now, you pressed your thighs together, but Johnny pulled them apart.

“Stop. I want to see you,” he said, and you moaned softly. He hooked a finger on your panties to pull them aside, pressing a wet kiss to your soaking core. Immediately you moaned, the sensation almost too much on your sensitive bud.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Taeyong groaned, leaning over you to suck at your chest. Jaehyun stood, placing one knee on the couch, and leaned down to whisper in your ear.

“I want your mouth around me,” he said, and you shuttered at the thought with a nod. He took off his pants and boxers in one move, stroking his hard length a few times before sliding into your open mouth. Letting out a deep groan, he fucked your throat slowly, taking himself out almost all of the way each time before pushing back in. Having Johnny eating you out while Taeyong kissed and bit at your breasts and Jaehyun in your mouth was so fucking hot, and you moaned around his length repeatedly.

“God, you taste good,” Johnny moaned against you, the vibrations adding an extra sense of pleasure. Your hands gripped the fabric on the couch cushions hard, thighs shaking as bursts of electricity ran through your nerves.

“I want to fuck you,” Jaehyun grunted, taking himself out of your mouth. You moaned loudly, throat already sore from taking him so deep. He pushed at Johnny’s shoulder to get him to stop, and lined himself up at your entrance. He pushed the tip in slowly at first, Johnny moving out of the way to watch, then suddenly thrusted all the way inside of you, like he couldn’t stop himself.

“Oh my god,” you moaned loudly, spreading your legs further to let Jaehyun fuck you deeply. Johnny switched places with Taeyong, kneading and sucking at your chest as Taeyong grabbed your jaw to push himself in your mouth. You moaned around him and both of the boys fucked your holes, the noises echoing through the room along with your sounds of pleasure. Having all three of them on you at once was overstimulating, and you were coming within the next few minutes. Your vision went white as you pushed your hips towards Jaehyun, grabbing a fistful of Johnny’s hair as his tongue lapped at your nipples. Jaehyun groaned, pulling out to come all over your stomach, and Johnny moved down to switch places with Jaehyun again.

This time as Johnny pushed into you instead, the stretch was much bigger. His thick cock fucked a mixture of your arousal and his precome into you, and he groaned deeply, watching the other two boys’ hands all over your body. Taeyong’s hips stuttered, and he cursed under his breath as hot liquid shot down your throat, his orgasm reaching him unexpectedly. Your eyes fell closed as you swallowed his come, the bitter taste the least of your concerns right now. Johnny kept fucking into you after your orgasm, and you felt another one quickly approaching. Your legs shook as waves of pleasure rolled over your body, a high-pitched whine coming from your sore throat. 

Johnny fucked you through your second climax, whispering encouragements and praises and his huge hands gripped your thighs. After another few minutes of fast thrusts, he pulled out and came onto your stomach as well, his mixing with Jaehyun’s. The sight of both of their come all over you and Taeyong’s still dripping from your chin made you moan weakly, too tired and overstimulated to move. The three boys panted, and the four of you came down from your highs together with deep, heavy breaths, the smell of sex lingering in the air.

[lilacskkie]

Just a Troublemaker

♡ Capa de Treino ♡

Quem diria que esta coisinha levaria tanto tempo e um pequeno surto? Só por isso, vou ter que escrever algo pra compensar, ou sei lá, se alguém quiser adotar, eu deixo :’)

[editsty]

They make taeyong look so tiny

[kinghazycrazies]

˚✧₊⁎ Sugar, Spice and Everything Nice ⁎⁺˳✧༚

JohnJaeYong Powerpuff Girls Icons

This was inspired from a comment on their cookie making video lmao

Please like or reblog if you save 😊😊

[dexfsoul]

Tongue Tied {Johnjaeyong) Pt. 1

Pairing: Taeyong x Johnny x Jaehyun

Summery: In which Jaehyun is planning out how to confess to his best friend and his best friend’s boyfriend that he’s in love with the both of them. Meanwhile the Johntae couple is talking about how crazy it would be if they asked Jaehyun to join their relationship, they’d never do that, haha….unless?

Word Count: 1.9k 

The keys shook in Jaehyun’s hand. One hour until their plane landed. One hour until Jaehyun possibly ruined the greatest friendship he’s ever had, but not saying anything was tearing him apart. One hour until his best friend Johnny and Johnny’s boyfriend, Taeyong, gets back from their vacation to Johnny’s childhood hometown, Chicago. 

Jaehyun was stupid, so stupid, Johnny has just taken Taeyong to his childhood home, they were in love, and Jaehyun was confessing to them for what? He wasn’t expecting them to return the feelings, and he definitely wasn’t hoping for them to break up, he just doesn’t know anymore. Jaehyun unlocked his car before climbing in. He started the car up, but didn’t move anymore after that. He stared straight ahead at his apartment complex unblinkingly. Hopefully they’ll let him down easily, that way his hopes would be crushed, but not enough to shatter him completely. He doesn’t know why he allowed himself to get deluded into thinking they might feel the same anyway; he knew Taeyong’s lingering touches meant nothing and Johnny’s sweet words and soft touches were nothing but friendliness, but Jaehyun’s mind became too clouded with the affection and he not only let his feelings for Johnny grow more, but let new ones form for Taeyong. He must be an attention whore, that’s all there is to it. Jaehyun finally reversed his car out of the parking space and started off in the direction of the airport. He’s not even sure how this all started. He met Johnny in high school and the pair instantly clicked, despite Johnny being two grades above him. People used to joke that they were connected at the hip, they went and did everything together. Jaehyun fell for him the moment the taller boy glanced his way, and his feelings stuck around for the rest of their high school days. Jaehyun ignored it the best he could, but eventually Jaehyun allowed his hopes to get up, his graduation night.

They had decided to skip out on all the parties, Jaehyun was never a big fan of them. (Johnny was, but he’d do anything to make Jaehyun happy, and if skipping out on the biggest party of the year was the way to do it, then so be it.) Instead they spent their night at Jaehyun’s house, building a fort out of cardboard boxes that were supposed to be used to pack up Jaehyun’s stuff for university. They had put on a movie that was quickly forgotten about as the two engaged in conversation. The topic soon went to Johnny blushing while recalling how awkward his first kiss was. 

“It was awful- stop laughing!- I didn’t know I was gay! It’s not my fault!” 

Jaehyun was giggling at Johnny’s story, but turned red once he heard the following sentence. 

“What was your first kiss like?” 

Admitting to his crush that he’d never kissed anyone isn’t the worst thing Jaehyun’s ever done, but it’s definitely on the list. He was in the middle of rambling out an excuse when he was stopped by a pair of lips pressing against his. When Johnny pulled back his face was just as shocked as Jaehyun’s, but he quickly covered it up with a smirk. 

“There, now you’ve had your first kiss, you can stop rambling.” 

They never brought the kiss back up again. That didn’t stop Jaehyun’s mind from wandering back to it every now and then, and he wondered whether Johnny sometimes thought back to it as well. 

Jaehyun, of course, decided to attend the same university as Johnny. They weren’t, however, able to pick their own roommates. Johnny had taken a year off, so while this was supposed to be his third year, it was only his second, and the year before he had gotten paired with a Thai exchange student named Ten. Jaehyun was not looking forward to meeting his roommate. Johnny had gotten lucky with his roommate, but there was no guarantee that he wouldn’t get a crazy person that would try and murder him. 

His worries soon vanished as, he didn’t get a murderer, he got paired with Lee Taeyong, a second year that, like Johnny, had taken a year break. Jaehyun and Taeyong became quick friends, but Taeyong and Johnny became more. Even though Johnny was his crush, Jaehyun couldn’t dislike Taeyong, not when he was so nice, and always tried to include him, and gave nice hugs, and was so, so pretty, and- oh fuck. As if having feelings for your best friend wasn’t bad enough, Jaehyun now had feelings for his best friend’s boyfriend too. He never mentioned his feelings to either of them, but all of their friends they gained along the way caught on, especially Kim Doyoung, who had a ‘put up or shut up’ attitude about the whole thing. 

A whole year of Doyoung telling him to just confess and Jaehyun finally had enough of it, what did he have to lose anyway? His original plan was to confess before they left, but he scrapped that after deciding that possibly ruining their couples vacation before it even started was a bad idea, but he can’t back out now. 

Jaehyun’s heart rate picked up as he parked at the airport. His hands shook as he closed the door and locked the car, almost dropping his keys in the process. He spotted Taeyong’s pastel pink hair immediately upon entering the building. Taeyong and Johnny both broke into grins once they saw him and began running over to him. Well, here goes nothing. 

~*~ 

Taeyong was surprisingly not tired even after twelve hours in a plane. 

“Only one hour left,” He grinned. 

Johnny only nodded in response, mind foggy with sleep. 

“So,” Taeyong hummed, snuggling his head against Johnny’s shoulder. “That friend of your’s, Noah, that relationship he’s in with two girlfriends, that’s interesting.” 

Taeyong had been trying to think of a way to bring up that type of relationship for awhile now, it just so happens that Johnny's friend was the perfect lead-up.

Johnny adjusted slightly so that he was facing his boyfriend and lifted an eyebrow, “Is there something wrong with it?” 

“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Taeyong explained, “I think it’s really interesting, the dynamics of it and all.” 

Johnny smiled slightly, “Are you trying to tell me you wanna try it out?” 

Taeyong crinkled his nose, pretending to be deep in thought, “I don’t know, maybe if we met the right person.” 

“Ah,” Johnny teased, “So you don’t have someone in mind?” 

“I don’t know,” Taeyong mumbled, “Okay, if we had to pick one of our friends, who would it be?” 

“Are you asking me which of our friends I would willingly fuck?” 

“Yes.” 

Johnny burst out into laughter, “That’s a tough one.” 

“No it’s not,” Taeyong scoffed playfully. 

“Oh, so you think you know which of our friends I’d want to be in a polygamous relationship with?” 

“Well, yeah, Jaehyun.” 

Way to be subtle, Tae.

Johnny’s smirk fell, his cheeks dusting over with pink. He furrowed his eyebrows and chuckled nervously. 

“Why him? Jaehyun’s my best friend.” 

Taeyong sighed, and leaned back against his seat, throwing his hands around to further his point, “Cause, you know.” 

Johnny shook his head, “No, I don’t.” 

“Johnny, come on,” Taeyong grinned lazily. 

“What?” Johnny asked defensively. 

“You think I’m not aware that you’ve had feelings for him the entire time we’ve been dating?” 

Johnny’s hands went ice cold. He couldn’t deny that Jaehyun held a piece of him, but he loved Taeyong. He loved Taeyong so much, and it’s not like he ever had a chance with Jaehyun in the first place. 

“I can’t um-” Johnny stumbled over his words, playing with Taeyong’s slender fingers. “You don’t deserve to be lied to, so yes, I do feel something for Jaehyun, but I love you, and if in some strange other dimension, Jaehyun felt the same towards me, it’d still be you, I’d choose you.” 

Taeyong took the opportunity being handed to him and inhaled deeply, grabbing Johnny’s hand in his own, “Who said you’d have to choose?” 

“What?” 

“What I’m trying to say,” Taeyong started, his nerves jumping about, “is that I’m not mad at you for having feelings for him, because how couldn’t you?” 

Johnny expression formed into one of understanding and relief. 

“Jaehyun, he’s- he’s something else,” Taeyong sighed, gazing down with eyes filled with adoration, “I fell for him the moment he walked into the room, and when you visited later that day, I knew I was fucked ‘cause the same happened with you. I was crazy about the both of you, and when you asked me out I thought my feelings for Jaehyun would fade, but they never did. Yours didn’t either, huh?” 

Johnny shook his head, “No, they didn’t.” 

“Well, we’re both fucked then,” Taeyong giggled. 

Johnny grinned in response, “I guess so.” 

“Unless,” Taeyong had that look on his face that meant he had a plan. 

“Oh boy,” Johnny groaned. 

“We could ask him to join us?” 

“And if he says no?” Johnny quirked an eyebrow. 

“Then we pretend it never happened,” Taeyong said determinedly, crossing his arms across his chest proudly. 

“This is a bad idea,” Johnny mumbled, "Isn't it too sudden?"

“Maybe,” Taeyong agreed, “but what do we have to lose?” 

“Jaehyun,” Johnny answered. 

Just then the plane’s signal went off saying they were about to land. 

“Jaehyun’s not like that, he wouldn’t ditch us over something like this. Plus, I know he at least likes you,” Taeyong spoke, a tinge of jealousy lacing his voice. 

“Yeah right,” Johnny rolled his eyes, “He’s more likely to like you. Have you seen the way he acts whenever you touch him?” 

“He acts that way when you touch him too!” Taeyong exclaimed. 

“Doubt it,” Johnny mumbled. 

They didn’t get the chance to continue the argument as the plane had already landed. After gathering their suitcases, the pair made their way to the front where they were supposed to meet up with Jaehyun, who would be their ride home. 

“We should ask him today,” Taeyong suddenly spoke up. 

“Tae,” Johnny sighed. 

“Come on, it’s perfect. A confession after a separation.” 

Johnny rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s dramatics. 

“Plus, if it goes wrong, we can leave with the excuse of ‘we’re tired’.” 

“You’ve got a point there,” Johnny agreed, “Fine, today, but you better hope this doesn’t go wrong.” 

“It won’t, I can feel it,” Taeyong reassured. 

Taeyong turned and excitedly tugged on Johnny’s sleeve. The couple broke out into grins upon seeing their third and quickly sprinted towards him. Johnny watched Taeyong practically knock Jaehyun over with the impact of his hug, so he just settled for going behind the pair and hugging the both of them. 

“Finally,” Taeyong grinned, “We missed our boy, you’re gonna have to come on the next vacation with us or we might die.” 

Luckily the subtle flirting wasn’t unusual for Taeyong, so Jaehyun just brushed it off with a giggle. 

“Whatever, stop with the dramatics.” 

Jaehyun released Taeyong, forcing the latter to let go of his death grip on the younger. Johnny let go of Taeyong, but stayed in place with his arms around Jaehyun’s waist. He bent over enough to rest his chin on Jaehyun’s shoulder. Jaehyun’s heart was malfunctioning. The pair were being extra clingy with him today, maybe distance does make the heart grow fonder? 

“I’m starving, can we get something to eat before we go home?” Taeyong pouted, giving Jaehyun his best puppy eyes. 

Before Jaehyun could respond, Johnny had cut him off.

“Tae, I’m tired,” The taller male groaned. 

“But-” Taeyong started. 

“How about,” Jaehyun cut the boy off before the couple started bickering, “I quickly pick up some takeout on the way, that way Tae can get his food, and Johnny can nap on the ride home?” 

“Okay!” Taeyong quickly agreed and Johnny nodded in agreement, snuggling further into Jaehyun’s shoulder. 

“Let’s go,” Jaehyun spoke softly, running his fingers through Johnny’s brown hair. 

Johnny reluctantly let go of Jaehyun and grabbed a hold of his bags. Taeyong shot him a quick wink. Well, here goes nothing. 

Part 2 

[houldyourbreath]

Don't reblog. Screenshot and tag your otps

[jaeyongtheyy-blog]

johnjaeyong ft. their taeyong being sandwiched by johnjae pose

[neowinestainedress]

daffodil

all’s well that ends well to end up with you :

↳ part 3 | part 1 | part 2 | part 4

title: daffodil 

pairings: jeong jaehyun x oc x suh johnny x lee taeyong 

summary: Sometimes it takes a miracle to bring light into somebody’s life, but other times it only takes three amazing strangers to show that love is not as terrifying as it seems and that somewhere on earth there’s a place to call home. And surprisingly, home can be found in the arms of the people you never expected to fall in love with.

genre: established relationship au, getting together au, first love au, poly relationship, fluff, smut, angst, emotional hurt/comfort, model!jaehyun, photographer!johnny, teacher!taeyong,

warnings: smut, unprotected sex (she’s on the pill and they’re dating but still), sex with multiple partners, minor use of daddy and sir, minor dom/sub dynamics, body worship (f&m receiving), soft sex, praise kink, kitchen sex, slight exhibitionism, slight choking, rough sex, minor orgasm control, dirty talk, dom!johnny, dom!jaehyun, switch!oc, sub!taeyong, angst (more emotional h/c), mentioned biphobia, past abusive household, past sa/prostitution (nothing graphic), PTSD, smoking as an addiction (not heavily present though), implied suicidal thoughts (nothing graphic, it’s barely there), blackmail(?), toxic relationship with a big age gap in the past | if I missed something let me know

word count: 33.970k

taglist: @nz06s​ @thelmathinks @leighsoo​ | if you want to be added comment under the masterpost of the series

a/n: Here’s Taeyong’s backstory! I PROMISE it’s not as tragic as it seems in the warnings. This is my favourite part of the series tbh. I’d die for Taeyong and Jade. As always, if you want to let me know what you think I appreciate it.

“Do you think I look good like this?” Johnny asked when he walked into the kitchen where Jaehyun and Jade were having breakfast and chatting. It was an early morning of March, and Johnny was a nervous wreck, anxious for this new thing his agency sent him to do; a fashion photography workshop in a high school in town.

Jade was the first to look at him and smiled immediately as she examined his attire, “you look amazing, love. But you know that you won’t wear a suit for the next lessons, right?”

Johnny rolled his eyes and walked over to the table to grab Jaehyun’s cup full of coffee, but the younger slapped his hands away. “You already drank one. Stop! It will make you even more anxious.”

“But what if I make a terrible first impression? What if they hate me?”

“You’ll do great,” Jade reassured him, standing up to fix his tie and brush back his black hair. “They are just teenagers, they don’t bite.”

“You said it, they are teenagers, that’s the whole problem.”

“You’re not the first adult they see, come on. Why would they hate you?” Jaehyun said, not understanding why he was so anxious about this. Sure, it was a new thing, but Johnny was good with people, he never feared talking in public or meeting strangers. 

“Because it’s a workshop, extracurricular, more work to add on their shoulder?”

“It’ll be fun, they can’t complain. You’re there to teach them how to make their creations shine in photos, not to make them cry on math homework,” she reminded him. “And now, go, or you’ll be late.”

“Shit,” he cursed, eyeing the clock. “If I don’t come home, it’s because they ate me alive.”

“Oh my, just go, you’ll do amazing,” she exclaimed, pushing him out of the room.

“If you want to be alone, you can just say it,” Johnny joked, winking at his lovers.

“Unfortunately, we miss you when you’re away,” Jaehyun confessed. “But seriously, drive safely and smash it.”

Johnny smiled and then grabbed his jacket; well, at least it was sunny for his luck today. “One kiss?” He asked, pouting to Jade and then to Jaehyun, and when they both leaned closer to peck his lips, he felt like he could finally face the day ahead. “That’s better, bye, good work to you too.”

“Bye,” they greeted him again, and once his car left the driveway, they closed the door and got back to the kitchen.

“Are you busy today?” Jaehyun asked, sitting back at his place, staring at Jade placing the used cups in the sink.

“Mh, yeah, I have to send a project to my boss, and it will take me all morning, but then I’m free. Why?”

“Thought we could spend some time together. Is it a problem if I go to the gym this morning, and then we’ll hang out when you’re done?”

She nodded. “Fine by me. I have to go to the therapist later, though.”

“I’ll drop you by, and then we can go somewhere else.”

“Okay, then let’s get ready.”

“So, how was it?” Jaehyun asked when Jade walked out of the therapist studio. It had been a little more than two months since she started going there. They could finally breathe financially since Johnny and Jaehyun’s jobs were going great. Jade still worked at the bar ’till December and then started working for an agency as a designer, so she was also bringing home a bigger paycheck. It was their habit to talk about what happened there. She knew people usually didn’t do that, but it helped her think about the session, and it also helped her open up to them.

“Great,” Jade replied, intertwining their arms together as they walked to the car. “She says I’m doing better.” She then hesitated to see if she should tell him that or not. “I had to tell her about us. I mean, it slipped when she dug a little too deep into my biggest fears for relationships, and she was surprised that I managed to be in a relationship like ours.”

“Why are you looking at me like this? It’s fine. She can’t tell it to anybody anyway.”

“Yeah, but we said to keep it a secret, and I felt guilty.” They thought about it a lot, but the bigger Jaehyun became, the more they were convinced to keep their relationship as private as possible. Sometimes it was a pain in the ass, especially when they were all together and had to pretend to be just close friends, but it was for the best.

“She’s your therapist; you need to be honest with her, Jade. Johnny and I are fine with it,” he reassured her. “And how did you feel?”

“I don’t know, I told her that I was afraid I was being selfish, like, using you two to fill up all the love I never received in my life, but she reassured me. And she said that I need to stop thinking I don’t deserve good things. Gave me some exercises to do, and then she proposed to do once again what we did last month.”

“Sit down and talk?”

Jade nodded. “Yep, she said that it can be helpful doing it weekly. Especially because I still hold onto the toxic mechanism of ‘I’m not telling you that you’re hurting me because if I do it I’ll lose you’,” she repeated, faking a robotic voice. “I’m really trying to get better, but sometimes I just slip.”

“Hey, it’s okay. Remember the note she gave you the first time you went there? Healing is not linear. And you’re doing great. And we’ll do anything to help.”

She hummed. “I know, you already did so much for me,” she replied when they reached the car and got inside, ready to start their little date.

“Do you see our relationship as a burden?” He asked once they were on the road.

“No,” she answered. “It’s just personal. I still tend to overthink every small thing you do. I know that if any of you has a problem with me, you will come and tell me, but there are some days I can’t just help but analyse one of your answers, or a different tone or a cupboard’s door closed more forcefully.”

Jaehyun almost gasped at her words. She never seriously opened up about her parents, only showed them the surface of the problems, so this was surprising. “Was it that bad?”

“It wasn’t bad, it was tiring. Running after my mom, asking her what was wrong and then receiving silence as an answer even if I didn’t do anything to her. Craving validation that never came no matter how well I did something. I just have no idea what healthy boundaries are, and I’m terrified of losing somebody because every time I put myself first, even if it was just a small thing, a fight would happen, or I got called selfish, and you know…” Her voice trailed off, not finishing the phrase, feeling like it was getting too much once again.  

“That’s why college was so important for you.”

“Yeah,” she replied, looking down where her shoes played with the angle of the floor mat under her seat. “I wanted to prove to them that I could do something for myself by myself, but mostly I needed to run away from there.”

“Why you never opened up with us?”

“I was ashamed, I still am. And I’m trying so hard to open up with you because my therapist says that it will help with trust and will benefit our relationship, but it’s so hard for me. I don’t want to stop and think about all of that, and I know that I have to but,” she stopped, trying to calm her breathing. “And you and Johnny come from perfect families, I just feel so wrong. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that, you can’t understand me. You didn’t have to be the third parent, or even the only parent at times, of your siblings. You’ve never been the emotional punching bag for your parents. You didn’t have to carry the trauma of your entire family to try to protect your siblings from going through the same things,” she paused to take a deep breath. “And I’m glad for you, I would never wish for somebody to go through this, but… it’s just hard to open up with somebody that had everything I always dreamed of.”

Jaehyun nodded. He felt shaken, the few times she opened up she said just a few things and never said how deeply it hurt, so this sudden emotional dump shocked him, but he was glad she did. “Then don’t tell us,” he said, surprising her. “I think we know enough for now. And there’s enough trust in our relationship already. Open up with her and when you’ll be ready, you can come and tell us more.”

“Are you sure?”

“You don’t owe us an explanation about your past. It’s not your fault, and we will never judge you for that. Just, try not to bottle up things about the present,” he said. “As much as we’d love to, we can’t read your mind, and if you don’t tell us that something makes you feel bad when can’t correct ourselves.”

She hummed, “I know, I’ll try to do it.”

“Pinky promise,” Jaehyun sang, leaning his hand to her with his little finger up. She smiled, intertwining their fingers. “Pinky promise.”

“They are not that terrible, see?”

Johnny laughed, nodding lightly. “Yeah, I was just paranoid,” he replied. He was walking down the school’s corridor to the teacher’s room with the fashion teacher by his side, Lee Taeyong. He was his age and put him at ease since the start; it turned out Johnny wasn’t really good at hiding his anxiety. 

“Made a great first impression. I know with kids it’s a shot in the dark, but you did better than me,” he commented, smiling brightly at him before he opened the door with his hip and held it for Johnny to follow him inside.

“Oh yeah, really?”

Taeyong snorted and rolled his eyes. “Wanted to quit on the first day.”

“How terrible could that be?” The eldest asked, grabbing his things, waiting for Taeyong to do the same, he had some tests to take with him and correct for the next lesson.

“Trust me, you don’t want to know.”

“It will make me feel better,” Johnny joked, this time holding the door open for him.

“Fine, but you’re coming to lunch with me, I’m not risking somebody else to hear this story again.”

Johnny chuckled. “Fine by me. Can’t wait to know more.”  

After half an hour drive to the first decent restaurant, the two men were sitting at a table next to the windows waiting for their orders to arrive.

“So, what happened to be this tragic?”

Taeyong pressed his lips together and then pointed a ‘threatening’ finger at him. “Promise you won’t tell anybody.”

“Promise,” Johnny said, crossing his heart.

“Okay, so I was super nervous, and for some reason, as soon as I entered the class, I forgot I was the teacher and not the student. So, I kept stammering the whole lesson, and I was struggling with the computer and iPad to the point that I simply gave up and decided to stick to know each other. To pretend that I was relaxed, I decided to stand up from the chair and walk between them. Little problem: the teacher’s desk was on a step I forgot was there, and fell face on the floor in front of the first class of my life.”

Johnny’s eyes widened while he tried to hold back a laugh and then asked, “and then?”

“I wanted the floor to suck me in, but unfortunately, it didn’t happen,” he said, playing with the end of the napkin and blushing. “They were nice, though. Guess new generations are not as cruel as ours.”

��You talk as if you are next to retirement, please,” Johnny laughed.

“Well, definitely not close, but my body feels like it.”

“Do you train?”

Taeyong scoffed, “have you seen me?”

“Well, I don’t check out strangers and then tell it straight to their face, but even if I wanted to, I couldn’t tell much,” he affirmed, pointing at his clothes; they weren’t baggy, but not even skin-tight, and he was fully covered.

“Yeah,” Taeyong smiled — a sad smile Johnny would’ve dared to say. “I don’t like to show, and I don’t even have much to show anyway.” He raised his gaze, looking at the other’s blouse, and then said, “what about you? Those buttons are fighting for their lives.”

“Yeah, I go to the gym at least once a week. My bo— my friend’s obsessed with fitness. Like not obsessed, but he’s a model, needs to be in shape, and he can’t drag our other roommate, so he drags me.”

Taeyong quirked a brow. “Roommate?”

“Yeah, I know. We enjoy each other’s presence, we’re really close,” he lied, trying to don’t sound awkward. He hated having to keep them secret. Hated to weigh every word when it came to them. He just wanted to brag about having the two hottest people in town as his partners, but he couldn’t, and it sucked.

“No, that’s fine. I don’t know, you seemed like the young, wild and free type,” Taeyong admitted, drifting his eyes from his. He also wanted to add he didn’t expect somebody as famous as him to be in need of a roommate, but sometimes money problems are not what keep people together.

Johnny snickered. “Nah, stopped being like that a long time ago.”

“So, you’re not the type that messes around?” Taeyong asked, and he didn’t even know where he found all that confidence. Maybe it was because Johnny put him at ease… or maybe he was trying to flirt.

Johnny shook his head. “No, not really. I’m happy… like this.” It was also always a struggle to keep his partner a secret and at the same time let people know he wasn’t available… he wasn’t available, right? Their relationship was just a three-piece thing, already an exception that happened because Jade fell for him, too. But he also loved Jaehyun before he loved her, and now they were all together and why he never questioned himself if he was open to more people or —

“Are you okay?” Taeyong’s concerned voice brought him back down to earth.

“Yeah, sorry,” he smiled. “What about you?”

Taeyong tensed at the question and then coughed, trying not to show it, but Johnny already got it. “Single, fine like this, too. I live alone, in a shitty apartment out of town, but I survive.”

“They don’t pay you there?”

“Have you seen the conditions of the school? I was already surprised when they hired somebody like you for my proposal for the workshop.”

“I’m not that big.”  

“Oh, for that school you are. Also, I personally really like your works, so I was excited to meet you.”

A fond smile crept on Johnny’s face as he stared at Taeyong’s eyes. There were stars in them, but at the same time, it was as if a veil of sadness prevented them from shining at their best. “Thank you. Well, I could see from the way you presented me to the class, the excitement wasn’t something just to make them pay attention.”

Taeyong chuckled, even if his cheeks tinted red. “Please, don’t take me as a stalker or a crazy fan.”

“Nah, with that pretty face you could never.” Oh, shit. Here he was again, flirting with somebody he had barely just met. “Sorry,” he apologized when he saw Taeyong’s startled expression.

“Oh, no, I was just surprised,” Taeyong stammered, burning red even more. “It was out of the blue, and I’m not used to compliments.”

“Then you’re surrounded by the wrong people.” Again.

Taeyong smiled, he wanted to tell him that he wasn’t surrounded by people at all, and the ones he had in his life before were more right than him, but didn’t, and before it could get more embarrassing, food arrived.

Johnny was confused. He couldn’t understand how it was possible to be so attracted to somebody after such a little time. And he also felt guilty toward Jade and Jaehyun for what he felt for someone else.

But the most confusing thing was Taeyong. One second, he was shamelessly flirting with him too, and then he would back away, almost afraid when Johnny made the first moves.

“I need to talk to you,” Johnny said, falling down next to Jade that was cuddled up on the sofa with Jaehyun at her side. “Shut the tv, please?”

Jade felt her heart racing, already fearing the worst, and Johnny immediately got it. “It’s not about you, it’s not about us, I mean yes, but no. No need to worry.”

“Are you okay?” Jaehyun asked, shifting on his spot to sit better after shutting the television.

“No, and we never discussed the rules of our relationship, and now I need to know how exclusive we are. If we are.”

“Aren’t you two poly?” Jaehyun asked.

“Aren’t you, too?” Jade asked, facepalming. They were all dating each other now. After Jaehyun finally realized he had feelings for Johnny buried deep down somewhere in his heart. 

“Yeah, well, I don’t know, I guess for me it’s just the two of you kind of thing?”

“Well, technically, you don’t know. If you know that you can love more than one person, there shouldn’t be a limit to it, right?”

“Yes, but, you know, people can decide what the rules are when they start a relationship like ours, and we never did. I think because it all happened so quickly that we simply went with the flow, but now the flow is taking me somewhere else.”

“You don’t love us anymore?” They both almost yelled in unison, and Johnny rolled his eyes.

“I said that it’s not about us. If I stopped loving you, it would probably mean I’ve been switched with a clone. Goddamn, chill.”

“Sorry,” they mumbled, signalling him to go on.

“Can we see other people outside our relationship?”

Jade and Jaehyun looked at each other and then nodded, but they didn’t seem convinced. The thing was, they never thought about the possibility of another person being added to their trio. Johnny was right, they simply went with it and didn’t consider the fact that all of them could potentially fall for somebody else.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, we never discussed this before, but yes,” Jaehyun replied. “Maybe we should still talk to each other, make sure we’re all okay with this person entering everybody’s life somehow, and mostly, make sure they’re okay with keeping this a secret. And seeing whoever they’re dating less, since this place is not big enough for somebody else.”

“And even if it was, I’m not really sure I would want a stranger in, to be honest,” Jade added. “Like, after some months if we also get to know them okay, but not straight away.”

“Okay, and what about having sex with other people?”

They went silent, not really sure about what to say. The idea of random sex with strangers didn’t make them really excited.

“Okay, what if it happens, but you like that person? I’m not talking about going out and fucking randomly, but maybe you’re just starting seeing somebody, and it just happens.”

Jade hummed, “oh, okay, fine like this, but can we put the rule of using protections until we’re not sure they’re clean and they’re not seeing somebody else?”

“Yeah, I think that’s the best thing to do,” Jaehyun agreed.

“Yes, that’s okay for me too. So, no random sex, but if it happens with somebody we’re having plans with, it’s okay, right?”

They both nodded, waiting for him to go on. “Kisses?”

“Yes, but be careful, possibly not in public,” Jaehyun said with a nervous grin on his face. “I know it sucks, but if they’ll become part of this someday, we have to be careful.”

“No, yeah, of course, we don’t kiss each other in public, I surely won’t risk it for somebody else,” Johnny agreed. “What about us?”

“Like, what?”

“When can we talk to them about us?”

“When we trust them, I guess,” Jaehyun whispered. He wasn’t really sure there was going to be a right moment to do it. It wasn’t fair the other person didn’t know but at the same time they had to protect themselves, so it sucked.  

“I think the other person should know as soon as possible that they won’t be the only one, not everybody is into this, and you may never know how they will react, and it’s only fair to don’t give their hopes up,” Jade stated.

Johnny nodded. “Perfect. For now, I think that’s all. Do you think we still have to talk about something?”

“The only thing that I’m wondering right now is, who’s the one that got you so flustered?” Jade teased, and Johnny rolled his eyes.

“The teacher,” he whispered, not able to hide the blush on his face. 

“Uuuh, the workplace brought two birds together,” Jaehyun taunted.

“Wait, you’re really okay with this?”

“Yeah, from what you told us, he also seems nice, so there’s no problem with it.”

“Even for you, Jade? Like, are you sure you didn’t say all of that before just to don’t let me down?”

“No, it happened to you, but it also could’ve happened to me, so I don’t mind. And as long as we keep talking to each other and just be honest, I’m fine. Trust me, those aren’t the things that scare me in relationships.”

Johnny smiled, finally finding more peace knowing that his partners were okay with it. 

“Tell us more about him.”

“So, he has stars in his eyes, mh,” Jade taunted while they were laying in bed together. Jaehyun was in his room, not for a choice, but it was really hard to fit in a bed in three, so unless there were special reasons, they would split, taking turns every night. And now it was theirs to sleep together.

“Is it jealousy that I smell?” Johnny teased, playing with her hair.

“I’m not,” she lied. Okay, maybe just a tiny little bit. But Johnny seemed so much head over heels for him that the most insecure part of her faltered a little. What if he was better than her? What if Johnny stopped loving her because he was less of an emotional burden than she was? Less broken, less insecure, not a liability. No. No more thinking that she didn’t deserve her partners. No more thinking that they deserved better. She was the best for them because they had chosen her.

“Analysing yourself again?”

“Ugh, I’m just trying to don’t let my intrusive thoughts take over, but I’m still scared,” she confessed, cuddling up to him.

“I told you I’m not going anywhere, and you should listen to me, not the voices in your head.”

“But so many people before said the same thing and then left me.”

“I’m not so many people, you’re not getting rid of me.”

“Is he pretty?”

“Now, why are you doing this to yourself?”

“I’m just asking.”

“No, you want more reasons to stay up at night and torture yourself. If you’re into pain, we can try masochists kinks in bed, but I don’t want to see you break yourself apart,” he said, rolling around to cage her under his body.

“I don’t think I’m into painful stuff,” she joked, playing with the collar of his shirt.

“Mh, no? Not even a bit of degradation?”

“Not now, I will cry, please, don’t,” she said, joking but not even much. She truly didn’t mind a little bit of degradation when it came to dirty talk, but it was the last thing she wanted right now, especially from him.

“No, no, I just want to see you cry if it’s because it feels good,” Johnny whispered, leaning down to kiss her cheek and then her lips and her neck until he reached her collarbones and then moved her nightgown to the side to leave a small peck on her chest. He raised his body and quickly pulled the fabric over her head, placing it on the other side of the bed, and then stared at her. “Beautiful,” he beamed, hand moving to caress her waist, belly, and boobs. “The most beautiful.”

“You’re saying this just because,” she complained with a pout.

“I’m saying it because it’s the truth.”

“Yeah, and what about all the stretch marks? And the scars on my left thigh? And the fact that I’m almost never perfectly shaved?”

“That means that you’re real,” Johnny replied. “You’re not a beauty star, and not even they’re like this. Trust me, I work with them, and I’m the one that edits out all of their so-called flaws. But they’re not, I also have marks on my skin, and I also have body hairs.”

“Yeah, but you’re perfect, you’re fit and tall and gorgeous.”

“I’m not perfect, I’m just like you. And, spoiler, I don’t have an ass like yours, so this is at least 1000 points less.”

Jade laughed loudly and then stared at him. “You’re stupid.”

“But it’s true, and I’m not soft like you.”

She furrowed. “Soft?”

Johnny hummed, leaning down to get closer to her. “You’re soft, and I don’t know how to describe you in any other way. You just look like cotton candy.”

She chuckled, throwing her head back. “Cotton candy, really?”

“Yeah, you look like a cloud passing by but not in a bad way, not to bring rain, just to bring softness.”

“That’s the weirdest compliment ever.”

“But it’s true, you are light when you walk around, and your curls are so big and voluminous I just can’t wait for you to come near me so I can sink in them, and they smell good, I don’t know which one of the thousands of products that you use is, but it makes them smell good.”

“And then?” She asked, feeling her heart beating at thousands of miles per hour. When they got together, they were past the age of silly random compliments to try to win each other’s hearts, so it was good now to hear all the things he loved about her.

“Then your hips, and your thighs, they’re round and soft, and I love to rest my hand on them and squish them.”

“Yeah, I know, you do it a little too much.”

“But you love it,” he replied.

“You’re not talking about your favourites,” she joked, talking about her boobs. “Trying to make it look romantic even if you have me all naked in your bed?”

Johnny laughed. “No, let me get to them,” he joked. “Well, do I have to explain it, really?”

“Nah, you praise them enough while we have sex.”

“Good,” he said and then lowered to kiss her boobs, slowly moving south to arrive at her stomach. “And your belly,” he started. “I know you hate it, and always say that you wish it was as flat as the ones of the models or influencers of Instagram, but I think it’s really cute like this. All I care about is that you have the brightest smile on your face when you eat, I don’t want you to think about your tummy while you have delicious food in front of you.”

Jade smiled, but deep down was trying hard not to cry. She knew all of those things, and she also made so many progress since she was a teenager at accepting her image, but the pressure of the outer world still made her feel not enough sometimes. And hearing those words from one of the people she loved the most brought joy to her heart.

She had found somebody that loved her for who she was, inside and out, and she couldn’t be happier.

Johnny pushed her panties down and then did the same with his pants and boxer, too. 

“And do you think we care about some missed hair or the regrowth of them between one shave and the other? You think we focus on them when we have all of this,” he pointed at her body. “All of you in front of us, ready to do all we want. Babe, we’re not dumb.”

“No, you’re horny,” she joked, making him roll his eyes and then giggle.  

“Anyway, you should stop worrying so much about your appearance,” he said. “Horny or not, we love you anyway. Also, we love your persona, not your body.”

“But I’m horny too, so can you take your shirt off?”

“Anything for you, milady.”

“Can you stop being a crackhead at least in bed?”

“I wanted to lift you up since you were furious my heart’s beating for more than just you and Jae.”

She huffed. “Great, now I’m in a bad mood again.”

Johnny laughed, and then spread her legs open, placing a hand between their bodies. “I don’t think you’ll be for too long.”

“Mh,” she hummed as he started playing with her clit. “Then prove me you love me, and I’m the most beautiful.”

“Greedy,” he mocked. “But I am, too. God, it’s been so long since I had you,” he complained, inserting two fingers inside her.

“You’re always busy, it’s your fault.”

“It’s unfair because I’m always out, while you and Jae spend more time at home, and I don’t even want to know what you do.”

“I work from home, I don’t have free time to let him fuck me around the house, so please, can you do it?”

“Sure.” Johnny slipped his fingers out of her and lined his dick to her entrance, slowly making his way into her tight, wet walls.

“Always so wet for me, fuck,” he praised, leaning his head against her forehead and leaving a soft kiss on her lips. She hummed in pleasure and then wrapped her legs around his waist, pushing him closer against her while her hands were tangled in his hair.

Johnny started moving and so did she, and soon their hips started rocking against each other to a steady rhythm.

“Fuck,” Johnny moaned against her lips as his fingers intertwined with hers. “I’d do this forever. I’d hold you forever,” he whispered, mouth moving south to kiss the skin of her neck and then the soft flesh of her boobs, pulling lightly just to let go and kiss her again.

With only his legs supporting his body up and doing all the work, rocking in and out of her, his hands pressed hers against the mattress as his eyes tenderly looked at her pleasured expression.

Jade forced her eyes open, just that much so that she could appreciate the way he was staring at her. She knew Johnny loved her; he reminded her every single day with the smallest things, the kisses on the forehead she loved so much, the way at least once a week he bought freshly baked focaccia for her, how he would always find time to sit next to her and listen to her rants about a book she had just finished and the way he always praised her even for the most insignificant things she did.

But right now was different. He rarely showed how much he appreciated her in bed, not that he didn’t praise her or touched her with love, but the other times weren’t like this. This time it was like he wanted to make sure she could feel how madly he cherished her. How perfect she was in his eyes.

A broken moan of his name rolled out of her lips, and he leaned down to kiss her again, and again and again, swallowing her soft whimpers and moans.

“God,” he moaned, throwing his head back for a moment before detangling his right hand to touch her skin. “You’re so soft,” he mumbled, kneading her waist and hip, massaging her softly. “Perfect for me.”

Jade rolled her head back and suppressed a louder moan, squeezing her hand tighter around his. She wanted to talk, but words died in her mouth when his lips started sucking on her nipples again and his hands kept touching, squeezing, caressing, and massaging her skin and his hips moved rhythmically into her. Johnny was so fucking good at this; she was sure she was never going to get enough of him.

And neither could he. Because Johnny now was more than sure that he could never, not even in a million years, fall out of love with her. He needed her like a heartbeat, and he was so glad that she had been brave enough to risk it all for this. For them.

“I’m close,” she breathed out, feeling the familiar sensation creep in her bones. “I’m — fuck,” her voice died when Johnny’s teeth grazed the skin under her lobe and his deep voice whispered, “come for me, angel. Let go in my hands, I’m —fuck— here.”

And she did. Squirming and whimpering under his touch, under his kisses and his sweet praises, she came undone, triggering his orgasm too.

And when Johnny pulled out of her, they stayed tangled with each other for some more.

“Now, was it good enough to put in that pretty little mind of yours that I love you?” Johnny chuckled, caressing her cheek with his thumb.

A smile crept on her face, and she lifted her head to kiss him again, softly, and slowly. “It was more than enough.”

Time passed and nothing much happened. Between him and Taeyong, there was nothing more than some casual flirting that led Johnny to go home and cry to his two lovers about how pathetic he felt for falling so deeply for someone who probably didn’t see him the same way and, on the other way around, made Taeyong panic more and more for what he felt for him.

Johnny was attractive. He had always been since he first laid eyes on him in college. To be honest, in college he was more concentrated on his friend, Jade, than him, but since they were always together, he surely wasn’t blind to don’t see how attractive he was.

And now that he was older, he was even hotter than then. He was smart, charming and also showered him with compliments. And Taeyong really wished he reacted better to them to don’t look like a weirdo, but he truly wasn’t used to nice words, and honestly, didn’t even think he deserved them.

He was scared to death. And it was even scarier now that Johnny was in his ugly and small house with a glass of cheap wine in hand while they tried to work on the project for the students. It wasn’t supposed to last this long, but Johnny was busy all day for a shoot and could only make it to his place late in the afternoon. So now they were there, still putting down some ideas while they ate junk food and drank something.

Taeyong was mortified by what he had to offer, but he didn’t expect him to stay so long. If he knew, he would’ve used his savings to buy a cake or a bottle of wine that tasted like something, but well, it is what it is.

“I think we’re done, for now. They should have enough material to work on,” Johnny said, letting the pen fall on the table, stretching, and turning back to look at Taeyong who was lost staring at him. “Are you okay?”

“Mh, yeah,” he replied, shaking his head. “I was just thinking about the project.”

Johnny smiled. “You always look so stressed, though.”

Taeyong gulped and averted the gaze. “Nah, I’m fine.” Lie. He wasn’t fine at all, and he wasn’t sure he was going to be anytime soon.

He jumped lightly when Johnny’s fingers traced his knee and asked, “are you sure?”

He simply nodded, swallowing the saliva in his mouth. Johnny’s touch was foreign, and it felt… strange. It had been years since anyone touched him in such a place. And it never happened that somebody touched him like this, gently, a brush full of… worries? Taeyong wasn’t sure he could bet that Johnny cared about him, but he liked to believe that was what it hid behind his every touch and word.

Johnny, on the other hand, didn’t want to pressure him to do anything. He couldn’t read him like he wanted, it was like Taeyong carefully crafted what sides of him people could see or not. It scared him, and it reminded him of Jade. Taeyong slipped away from his hands just like her every time he tried to dig deeper and know what was going on inside him.

And he was worried, he didn’t know how far he could push with him. Sometimes it still felt like walking on eggshells every time he had to confront Jade, and they knew each other for so long. How could he do that with somebody that was basically a stranger?

“Can I kiss you?” He asked without thinking, the words were out of his mouth before he could realize what he had said.

Taeyong widened his eyes, he had no idea if he was more surprised because he wanted to kiss him or because he was asking him first. Consent? For a kiss? For him?

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Johnny said, shaking his head before moving to gather his things on the table, but Taeyong’s hand wrapping around his wrist stopped him.

“No, you can,” he replied, feeling his heart beating a hundred miles per hour. He could trust him, right? And then it was going to be just sex. And that was the only thing he was good at. The only thing somebody would want him for.

Johnny smiled, and then, after looking for any sign of discomfort, he gently cupped Taeyong’s face and pulled him closer to him, kissing him slowly.

Taeyong tasted of strawberries and cigarettes and his lips were chapped, but in that strange mix, Johnny found comfort.

Taeyong was clearly hesitant, but then his hands found the courage to wrap around his waist and pull him closer. Johnny made him feel safe. In another person, his tall and broad figure probably would’ve scared him, terrified they could have so much power over him and do anything they wanted with him as if he was worthless and just there to be used. But Johnny wasn’t like that, right? He could trust him.

When they pulled away, Johnny felt on cloud nine, and he just wanted to have more. He wanted to have him in his life, and he hoped Taeyong wanted this just like he did.

But Taeyong wasn’t sure how to feel. He simply knew for sure that if Johnny was looking for more, he couldn’t give it to him. And there it came, exactly what Taeyong didn’t want to hear.

“I think I like you, Yong,” Johnny confessed with so much gentleness in his voice and eyes that Taeyong felt his heart break.

“You like me?” He asked hesitantly, with his throat getting tighter with every breath. “What do you mean by that?”

“Yeah, you know, I like you, like the usual.”

The usual. But nothing in his life had been usual. Taeyong had no idea what ‘the usual’ was. Or better, what was normal for him wasn’t normal for anybody else.

“Like, you find me fuckable,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck and taking a step back from Johnny. Suddenly he didn’t feel safe anymore.

“No. I mean, you’re hot, but I like you for who you are.”

Fuck. So, he was serious?

“You don’t even know who I am,” Taeyong replied with an awkward bitter laugh, backing away more, trapping himself in the corner of the kitchen.

“But we can get to know each other better, that’s how it works,” Johnny explained. He wanted to walk closer to him, not understanding why he was getting so defensive. “I thought,” he started saying, trying to gather the thoughts running in his mind. “I imagined you wanted this too.”

“But why?”

“We flirted, we kissed. I don’t know, I read between the lines, I didn’t think we were on such different tracks.”

Taeyong exhaled and then started turning around. He needed a way out, but he couldn’t find it, and Johnny was right there, waiting for an answer that wasn’t going to be what he wanted to hear.

“I only… I find you attractive, but I don’t, I never,” he stammered. “I don’t know, okay? I simply thought we could fuck.”

Johnny felt pain in his chest at those words. He didn’t know why he hoped so much that he could want some more, but he did, and now it hurt to know Taeyong just wanted to fuck.

“I never imagined you wanted me like that,” he tried to correct. He had no idea what he wanted and what his mind was telling him to do. He liked Johnny. Or at least, he loved the attention he gave him, and he loved the way he helped him not focus on his problems and the things that fucked him up on the daily. But a relationship? Him? God, he didn’t even know if he believed in love. If he was able to love and to be loved. “I never, I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship.”

Johnny pressed his lips together. He once again flew too high. “It’s okay, I didn’t want to scare you.”

“No,” Taeyong said. “It’s not your fault, I wasn’t expecting you to confess this soon. I just… I need time.”

Johnny furrowed. Taeyong was talking about them, but behind his voice and his hands nervously running on his arm, it seemed to be hiding something else. Something Johnny couldn’t understand. 

“You don’t have to force it,” Johnny tried to reassure him.

“I’m not, I’m sure I like you. I really like spending time with you, and you’re beautiful, inside out, but I…” he left the phrase hanging, he couldn’t tell him he had a talent for sabotaging all the things he loved. He couldn’t tell him he believed he didn’t deserve good things in life. He couldn’t tell him the mess he was.

He had spent years trying to craft a mask that protected him from the world and showed others the best parts of him. And now, he just couldn’t let it fall to the ground for him.

“So, do you want us to give it a try or just keep it like it is?”

Taeyong pondered the answer for a while, fighting with the voices inside his head. ‘You just want to use him because he makes you feel human.’ ‘You’re being selfish, you know you can’t love, and you know you don’t deserve it.’ He shook his head, pushing his intrusive thoughts in the back of his mind.

“Yeah, we can,” he answered before his worst side could get the best of him. He deserved good things, too. He knew he was valuable. Maybe he still didn’t truly believe it, but deep down he knew it.

Johnny smiled, finally feeling the weight lift from his chest. “Maybe you could come on my sets sometimes, see how insufferable I am when I’m working.” He was pretty busy lately and finding time to stay together out of work could’ve been a little more difficult, but they were going to find a solution. 

Taeyong chuckled. “You’re not terrible when you work with me.”

“Just because they’re kids.”

“Maybe we could… I don’t know, go out to drink something?” Taeyong really didn’t have much saved, he couldn’t afford to go to expensive places, but for the first date that was what people usually did, right?

“Yeah, I’d love to,” Johnny replied, and then his phone lit up with the notification of a next. Taeyong’s gaze fell on it, and he furrowed. Who were the people on the lock screen?

“Who are they?” He asked, feeling a weird tightness in his chest. They seemed close; their faces pressed against each other while Johnny rested his chin on top of their heads, smiling brightly.

“Oh,” Johnny mumbled. Right, he had to tell him, that was what they agreed. And he had the right to know since they wanted to give this a try. But Johnny was scared, he never told anyone about them. “They are my… my partners.”

Taeyong quirked a brow and tilted his head. “Like your roommates?”

“No, lovers, romantic partners.”

Taeyong felt the floor fall beneath his feet as he stared at Johnny. No sign of joke on his serious face. “Two partners? You’re already seeing somebody?” He also wanted to know if they knew about each other, but given the photo on his phone, it seemed obvious.

“Yeah, I know it sounds weird, but it’s not cheating. We believe there’s more love to give than just to one person.”

Taeyong felt dizzy. No, he felt like he wanted to puke. And everything around was spinning fast. He was already dating somebody else, and not one person, but two. What kind of sick sex thing was that? Why did he want him to be part of that? It was all just a nice way to sugarcoat him into their orgy things. Because Taeyong was done with that. Being thrown and used around by so many people that at one point he just had to shut his brain to don’t think about what was happening. Johnny was just as crazy as anybody else; he was just trying to buy him with his charming façade.

“I know it’s not common, but this is not a sex cult or cheating, I love them. We love each other.”

Taeyong wanted to scream at him, but his voice simply couldn’t come out. He was…disgusted. And he felt pathetic, how could he even think for a second that somebody wanted him in his life and truly cared for him? He was just going to be a sex toy to spice up whatever things they were into.

“Yong, please, say something.”

“Don’t call me Yong,” was the only thing he could say before walking out of the room. He turned his back to him and felt his body starting to shake. Dumb. He was so fucking stupid, he was right.

“Please,” Johnny begged, feeling on the verge of crying. “I really like you; I think it’s just fair that you know I also have somebody else.”

“And what were you waiting to tell me?”

“I needed to know you were into this, I can’t go around and tell everybody we’re dating. Our boyfriend is trying to build his name in the model industry, we can’t risk this to go out.”

“If I didn’t ask, you wouldn’t have told me.”

“I would’ve, you didn’t give me time.”

“Well, whatever that is, I don’t want it.”

“Tae, please.”

“Stop it,” Taeyong said, moving his arms from him. “Take your things and leave.”

“Are you mad at me? I would’ve told you.”

“You played me. And how can you love so many people at the same time? How can you give them time and attention? I don’t want this. I can’t do this,” he almost cried. “Now, leave, please.”

Johnny nodded, gathering his things, and then walked to the door. “Goodnight, Taeyong,” he said before locking the door behind him. No answers came from the other boy, who ran to his bedroom and cried all the tears he had in his body.

“You’re home, I was afraid something happened,” Jade said, turning around on the couch as soon as she heard the door open. She had been waiting for her boyfriends all day, it felt so weird to stay at home completely alone for so long. Jaehyun had just come home like half an hour before and was still in the bathroom, exhausted after a long day of work trying to put himself back together with a shower. And well, Johnny arrived just now and didn’t even reply to the text she had sent. 

“Hey, are you okay?” She asked as soon as Johnny sat next to her and hugged her tightly, snuggling his face in her neck.

“He hates me,” he simply mumbled, and Jade hugged him tightly when Johnny started crying. She had never seen him so vulnerable, so open, even defenceless. Not even when he had to carry the weight of loving his best friend in secret. Not even when he realized he had also fallen for his best friend’s girlfriend.

“Babe, who are you talking about?”

Johnny sniffled and pulled away from her reluctantly. Her embrace was the safest place to be now, but he couldn’t talk much in that position. “Taeyong.”

Johnny opened up, ranting about everything that happened, and in the meanwhile, Jaehyun had also arrived and was now sitting behind him, caressing his hair while Jade was holding his hands.

“I feel like shit. He didn’t say much, but from the look in his eyes I can tell he’s disgusted by me...” He hesitated and then added, “by us.”

Jaehyun sighed. “I don’t know him, but I don’t think you can blame him. Maybe he was just surprised. Give him time, I moved to a whole different country when she told me she wanted to also be with you, I don’t think his reaction is the most dramatic.”

Jade nodded and Johnny chuckled a little. “Or maybe he’s afraid in general. You said he also didn’t seem very convinced of just dating you. What if relationships are just not his thing?”

Johnny shrugged. It could’ve been. He had no idea. He didn’t know him and, surely, he wasn’t going to know him now. He kind of damned himself, how was he able to keep his love for Jaehyun a secret for twenty years and not hide a small crush?

“I’m sure he’ll come and say sorry, or any way you will fix this. And who knows, maybe if he really likes you, he will try to see if this can work for him too,” Jade said.

“I hope so.”

“For now, remember that you always have us. If anything happens, we’re here,” Jaehyun added. “Want me to prepare hot chocolate?”

Johnny smiled tenderly at him. Jaehyun was clearly tired from the day and probably just wanted to go to bed, and yet here he was, listening to him rant about a crush that now despised him, and was willing to prepare his favourite hot drink.

He nodded and Jaehyun left a small peck on his lips before going to the kitchen, leaving him with Jade.

“Come here,” she cooed, opening her arms to let him have space to snuggle against her again.

And even if his heart hurt, he was glad he had his favourite people at his side.

Johnny felt a lump in his throat every time he had to go to school and see him. If he looked forward to their meetings before, now he just wanted them to be over as soon as possible.

Taeyong barely talked to him anymore, or better, he only stuck to work talks and nothing more. And, even if his partners told him he was just being paranoid, he was convinced that Taeyong was uncomfortable around him.

Johnny had fucked it up way worse than he expected, so it was no wonder that the ride to his place was awkward. They had to define the last things for the workshop since the students had finished the small middle projects. Taeyong would’ve preferred going to the library, but they couldn’t because they needed too much stuff. And his place was off the table. So, the only place left was Johnny’s.

When they arrived at the front door, Johnny found the courage to say something. They couldn’t spend the whole day in silence, right?

“It’s not really big, but in the living room, there’s enough space for what we need to do. You can leave your things in the cabinet at the entrance. It should be empty since nobody’s home.” Jaehyun had something to do at his agency and so did Jade, so they were all alone.

Taeyong nodded, holding his stuff tighter, and then patiently waited to make his way into the room.

“Here it is,” Johnny said, hanging his coat and waiting for him to give him his, so he could do the same.

“Thank you,” he whispered with a small smile.

“Love, you’re late.” A voice exclaimed from the kitchen, making them both turn around in surprise. And there was Jade, smiling with her pink apron on, and sauce everywhere. “I cooked your favourite dish.”

Taeyong blinked swiftly as he stared at her, he didn’t really see the people on his lockscreen that night, and he didn’t realize who the woman was. That couldn’t be… She couldn’t be… And why was she looking at him like that?

“Wait, I know you from somewhere…” she said, walking closer to him, she stopped a few steps from him so as not to invade his personal space as she studied him. Johnny never showed them any pictures, simply because he didn’t have them. Taeyong was nowhere to be found on social media. “Oh my God, of course, Taeyong! You always used to give me extra biscuits at the college cafeteria!” She exclaimed, eyes lighting up while she clapped her hands, happy she remembered.

She remembered him? Taeyong felt his face heat up and scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment. “I used to do that with all the most loyal customers, and you were always there,” he chuckled. No, he only did it to her. It was the useless special treatment because he hoped she would notice him and start to go past the formal greetings and some weather talks. But it never happened. She didn’t have eyes for him. But only for her boyfriend, Jaehyun. Wait, was Jaehyun the number three? What kind of sick torture was that? Hadn’t he suffered enough?

“You were so nice,” she smiled. “Well, great to see you’re doing okay. So, you were in fashion?”

Johnny coughed to bring the attention to him and then said, “Jade, love, weren’t you working today?”

“Oh, yeah,” she replied. “But then I decided to work from home. Actually, i finished what I had left for my agency and then started working on something for me. I’m trying to find some clients again. I want to go back to being a freelancer.” As much as working in an agency gave the same and safe income at the end of the month, it was also creativity-killing. And especially didn’t allow building a name or having different and bigger projects. The projects were always the same, and she was starting to hate her job more and more, and that wasn’t what she wanted.

“Are you sure it’s not too early?” Johnny asked with a worried frown on his face.

She nodded. “I’m doing better, and also I have you two, so nothing can go wrong. Oh wait, does he know?”

Johnny facepalmed at her. He had cried the whole night just two weeks ago because he rejected him — and that was the nicest word he could find — because of that.

“Oh, right, well, sorry. Why don’t we stop making it awkward and eat? I prepared delicious food,” she changed the subject and, after a quick glance at Taeyong to seek his approval, Johnny nodded, and they walked into the kitchen.

“I don’t know what you think about us, but we’re not sex-addicted or superficial people,” she said out of the blue in the middle of the lunch. The silence was getting awkward, and she couldn’t stand it anymore. And also, maybe Johnny was right when he said that Taeyong seemed almost disgusted by him, well, them.

Taeyong lifted his eyes from his plate and stared at them, he wanted to say something, but she went on.

“I’m not saying this because I want you to give Johnny a chance, I totally get it if you’re not okay with sharing a partner, but I want you to be comfortable around us. We don’t bite, and we don’t jump on people. We don’t go around looking for sex just to use people or anything of that kind. He wasn’t playing you, he genuinely likes you.”

“I don’t need a lawyer,” Johnny chuckled, hand moving to caress hers for a second.

“I know, but this is not about you only. He’s our guest, and I think it’s fair to clear the doubts I’m sure he has.”

“I didn’t mean to judge you that night,” Taeyong apologized. Maybe he did, and maybe he still thought that wasn’t totally… normal? But he didn’t mind. It was their life and, even if he didn’t get it, it wasn’t his problem. “I was just surprised, never heard of anything of the kind before. Well, just in,” he stopped. If he was in their place, being compared to a porn category wasn’t something he wanted to hear, so he shut up. “Just not my thing.”

“Yeah, totally fair. It wasn’t our thing either before it happened,” Jade chuckled. “Just don’t feel awkward.”

“I won’t,” Taeyong smiled, and then lunch went on. It didn’t go perfectly, but better than the first half.

Then they parted ways. Johnny and Taeyong were staying in the living room and Jade locked herself in the room, trying to put up some new things. And they went on like this until the afternoon.

“I’m devastated,” she exclaimed, walking out of her room to make her way to the couch. “Please, tell me you’re taking a break I need support,” she whined, and Taeyong scooted over to make room for her, consequently getting closer to Johnny. “And I also need something to eat.”

Johnny smiled at her and then said, “pre-period?”

“Yes,” she whined. “I wish the pill stopped making me go through so many PMS, but it does shit,” she complained, lolling her head back. She really wished she wasn’t a walking stereotype of women during their periods or the tragic, tremendous, odious week before (for her it was probably even worse than the week), but she was. She had everything. The random mental breakdown over the smallest things. The random cravings of absurd foods. Being extremely irritable to the point she could barely stand somebody existing in the same place she was. And this just to don’t talk about the physical problems.

“Want me to cook you something?”

“No, now I want something sweet. I’ll grab the ice cream and come back here, so you can give me some ideas,” she huffed, getting up from the couch and stretching herself, immediately regretting it when a cramp in the lower abdomen hit her. “Want some, Yong?”

Yong. Really? “Mh, no, I’m fine, thanks,” he answered, trying to shrug the way that nickname rolling from her lips made him feel. Lord, he was way over that crush, but why did he feel good with her around? He hated the fact that she never lost her calming aura. She was like the personification of yellow. She was like daffodils in human form. Or a sunflower, but for him, sunflowers were way too used as a metaphor.

“I grabbed a spoon just in case you change your mind and want it too,” she informed, sitting down next to him again. Her thigh lightly brushed against his, and he felt that part of skin burn.

“So, how is it going? Are the students happy?”

Taeyong hummed and begged his brain to get words out. She wanted to talk to him, not to Johnny. She had him around 24/7, she could ask him that anytime she wanted. But no, she wanted to have a conversation with him. “Yeah, I feared the worst at the start, but they seem to enjoy it. I mean, I would too if I had photos of my clothes to post on socials photographed by a professional.”

“Yeah, Johnny’s good at his job,” she praised, smiling at her boyfriend.

“Technically, I’ll be there just to supervision, the whole point is that they’ll learn how to shoot. When you start, you rarely have money to pay other professional figures to help you on set.”

“Well, I think that’s really great. They have fun and at the same time learn something that could always be helpful.”

“And what are you doing?”

“Putting down ideas for the different themes of the shooting. We have three groups, and they’ll do different things. They have to create outfits and pictures based on the themes that we propose. They can pick between… ten? Right? We decided on that?”

“Yep, ten themes,” Johnny agreed.  

“Great, then, why don’t you also let me know, so I can find some inspiration, too?”

“Music, that could be a song, an album, or the instruments. Movies, a genre, the colour schemes, or a scene. Nature. Cities. And we’re still working on the others, also because we have tons of other details to put into each category.”

“I’m getting in your way, I got it,” she giggled. “But you know, I think music’s great. I could use that.”

“Why are you without ideas?” Taeyong asked before he realized. But Jade smiled at him and reassured him silently.

“Let’s say the last months hadn’t been easy, I had to quit because I couldn’t finish the commissions and decided to work in an agency. It’s not like you don’t need creativity there, but you work with people that know what they want and give stricter instructions, so the job is halfway done. With clients that think that a logo shows up on the screen thanks to some heaven-sent miracle it’s even harder, and you have to blow their mind when the instructions are ‘I want it green and big’ and nothing else, you have to turn in a mind reader and don’t you dare let them down.”

Taeyong laughed lowly. “Then why do you want to do that again?”

“Because I chose this career for that. It’s true that they are a pain in the ass most of the time, but at least I can create what I want.”

“Oh, well, I hope you’ll get back on track soon,” he said, beaming at her.

“Thanks,” she smiled. “I’ll leave you alone again to your work. But I’m taking this with me,” she said, shaking the ice cream box in her hand before disappearing into her room another time.

“She’s… energetic,” Taeyong whispered, turning around to look at Johnny that was still smiling at her.

Johnny chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah, I’m glad she’s starting to understand she doesn’t carry the weight of the world on her shoulders and is taking life easier.”

Taeyong hummed, not really getting what he was referring to, and then said, “shall we start again?”

The evening passed quickly. Johnny was surprised to see Taeyong talk more than usual, and even be fine with the bare minimum physical touch when it casually happened.

And Taeyong strangely felt good. He wasn’t uncomfortable anymore, and he didn’t even know why. Maybe it was Jade’s presence, he really didn’t have an idea, she simply put him at ease, even if she didn’t spend much time with them again. Or probably it was the place itself. It felt like home. Something he hadn’t felt in so long, or honestly, something he never felt.

He liked it there. There was a big picture of them hanging on the wall in front of the couch, right above the TV. Some plants on the windowsill that faced the main road. Books and albums on the shelves. A big black lamp at the corner of the living room and next to it there was a turntable. And their coats, shoes and bags next to the door. It was cosy, warm, and safe.

Around seven pm, the bell rang, and Johnny got up to answer, coming face to face with Jaehyun that looked beyond pissed.

“Wow, is everything okay, babe?” Johnny asked, moving to the side to let him in.

“No, today I simply should’ve stayed in bed, just a bad day,” he replied, huffing deeply. “Hug me?” He whined, opening his arms. Johnny smiled and pulled him closer, leaving kisses on top of his head, and they stayed there for a while until Jaehyun saw a stranger’s head peeking from the couch.

“Oh, hi, we have guests?” He asked, pulling apart from the hug, and at that moment Taeyong turned around, waving at him with a small smile on his face.

“Yep,” Johnny replied. “Taeyong, Jaehyun. Jaehyun, Taeyong,” he said, presenting each other.

“Hi,” Jaehyun greeted, walking over to him to shake his hand. And Taeyong greeted back, before eyeing the clock. Maybe it was time for him to go, it wasn’t like they were going to do anything else now, anyway.

“Jay!” Jade exclaimed, coming out of her room and running to hug her boyfriend.

“Hey, love,” he greeted, leaving a peck on her lips. “How was your day?”

“Good, Taeyong put a spell on me, and my inspiration came back, I think I’m on the good track to be a freelancer again.”

“Wow,” Jaehyun exclaimed, tilting his head to take a look at the guest that was reddening. “Are you some kind of walking miracle?”

“Oh, no,” he stammered, “I didn’t do anything, actually. She did it all herself.”

Jaehyun smiled, and then brushed her hair out of her face and whispered, “I’m happy for you, when you’re ready, you know we’ll support you, right?”

She nodded and then looked up at the clock.

“It’s late, why don’t you stay for dinner?”

It took Taeyong a minute to get that she was talking to him. “Oh, no, really, I should get going. You already did too much for me,” he answered, starting to gather his things.

“It’s fine for us, where three eat, there’s space for somebody else,” Jaehyun remarked. “Or do you have somebody at home?”

Taeyong shook his head. “No, I’m alone, actually.”

“Then stay,” Johnny said, walking to stand at his lovers’ side.

Taeyong really wanted to say no, he felt like a burden already, but then the message that popped on his screen made blood freeze in his vein. No. There was no way he was dealing with it at home by himself. Maybe being here was better than falling into the fear and panic of his empty home because of him. 

“Fine,” he said, locking his phone and turning it around, so he couldn’t see the screen. “But at least let me help with something.”

The three smiled happily and then Jaehyun proposed, “come help me cook while they set the table?”

Taeyong nodded and then followed him inside the kitchen.

“So, you’re the famous Taeyong?” Jaehyun said, head buried in the fridge to grab what they needed to cook.

Taeyong gulped. Here they were, was it just an excuse to scream at him for the way he treated Johnny? Jade pretended to be nice and then Jaehyun was going to end him once for all…

“Fa-famous?” He stuttered, shifting from foot to foot.

“Yeah, I can’t blame Johnny for being head over heels for you,” he replied, turning around. “With your pretty face.”

His cheeks were now a bright red. “Pretty face?”

Jaehyun smiled fondly. “Low self-esteem?”

“Aren’t you mad at me?” He asked instead, trying to drift the attention from him and get what he wanted. 

“Why would I?”

“Because I turned him down. Because I said… you know.”

Jaehyun shook his head, and then pulled out the chopping board to cut the meat. “You’re talking to the overdramatic king right now. When Jade confessed to me that she had a crush on Johnny too and wanted to date both of us, I acted like an asshole and then left. Just to come back crawling to the both of them because I couldn’t leave without them,” he confessed. “Cheesy, I know.”

Taeyong furrowed and then handed him the knife he was pointing at and rested next to him. “So, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows how it looks?”

“Right now, yes. We’ve been working a lot on ourselves, as a throuple and as individuals, but at the start, it wasn’t easy. Like every relationship, you know?”

No. Taeyong didn’t know. But he nodded anyway. He really couldn’t get it. Stories didn’t work when there were just two people, how could they work with three… or more, since Johnny had also fallen for him. Fallen, now, what a big word. Taeyong was sure that Johnny just wanted to fuck him, like everybody else.

“But how does it work?” He asked. “I don’t want to judge,” he mumbled. “But I truly don’t get it. How do you make it work?”

Jaehyun smiled before moving back to open the door where they kept pots and pans and pulling out a pan to put the cut meat inside. “Patience. Communication. Respect. And love.”

“And just with that… it works?”

“Yeah, I’m not saying it’s easy, but love is never easy, so, it’s worth it.”

Love easy. Love worth it. Taeyong didn’t believe any of this, and Jaehyun seemed like a hopeless romantic.

“And when did you find out you loved them?” Taeyong knew he had to mind his business, but while they were there, he might as well free his mind from all his doubts, so maybe he could stop being so weirded out by everything. And also, it was better to keep the conversation on them than on him.

“Is it a ‘how we got together’ or ‘when did we fell’?”

“How you discovered you could also love somebody else? Doesn’t it feel like cheating?”

“I can’t answer it. When I realized I also loved Johnny, we were already together. It was a vee.” At Taeyong confused expression, he chuckled. “Never imagined I would be the one giving out explanations about polyamorous relationships, but here I am. To make it simple, only one of the three partners is dating two people in the relationship. The other two are not together, not romantically at least, but of course, they can be friends.”

“And…do you do everything together? Like, it’s being split between two people, it’s hard.”

“Probably if you don’t live together, it can become more laborious, but we lived together, so to be honest, nothing much changed between us when we became a triad. I stopped being so jealous, though.”

“A triad? Wait, so there’s jealousy?”

Jaehyun chuckled. Taeyong was cute. Clearly curious but afraid of crossing lines. “A triad is when all the partners are dating each other. And yes, jealousy is normal, just like it’s normal that sometimes you want to spend time with one of the two and get a little mad when they’re already busy with each other. A bit of jealousy is not the same thing as being possessive and not letting your partner breathe and exist with other people, that’s toxic, and also monogamous people should get it.”

“And how do you work on not being the centre of attention?” He asked. “No, sorry, worded it badly, but how can you give everyone the same amount of attention.”

“With boundaries.”

Boundaries? And what was that? No one ever respected his boundaries. And how did they keep a relationship together anyway?

“It’s not a job, it’s love. If I want to go and spend some time with Jade or Johnny, I just do that. We don’t have time limits or things like that, it’s just natural, goes with the flow. What’s important is respecting each other time, space, and energy.”

Respecting each other time, space, and energy? Taeyong was starting to believe that the oddest thing about them wasn’t the fact that they were three, but the way they treated each other. Was that a joke? Were they faking to be so nice because they were trying to lure him into some sick game? He didn’t know.

He wanted to ask some more, but Jade entered the kitchen and eyed the pots. “Oh my, you two, stop talking and cook something. I’m starving.”

“We’re doing it, I can do two things at the same time.”

“I know well you can,” she teased, smirking at him. “Oh fuck, sorry, Taeyong.”

“No, it’s fine,” he mumbled, turning around to hide the flush on his face.

“Get out, now,” Jaehyun said, trying to suppress a laugh. “Enough trouble for today.”

Dinner dragged out longer than usual, with talks and chats about so many funny stories from college, or some old grudges against some professors, and so on. Taeyong wasn’t used to all of that, he was used to eating alone on his couch while the TV played, even if he paid no attention to it. But it felt good, and he was kind of sad when it was time to go.

Jade was almost tempted to tell him to sleep there but then realized that probably it was too much. He was just starting to open up with them and get comfortable, she didn’t want to push him over his limits. Also, because she actually liked him. He was a nice person to have around, and even if it wasn’t going to be in the way Johnny wanted to, she hoped he could stay by their side at least as a friend.

“Thank you for everything,” he said, standing out the door while Johnny was already going to the car to drop him off.

“Nothing. It was a pleasure having you here,” Jade replied with a big smile on her face, and Taeyong felt his heart do a little flip.

“Bye then, Johnny’s waiting,” he waved at them again and then ran toward the car.

The car ride back to his place was quiet, but less awkward than the one in the morning. Taeyong still felt a little hurt and confused by all of that, but he had realized that Johnny meant no hurt the other day. He was genuinely into him, or at least, that was what his lovers said. Taeyong still couldn’t believe it and was terrified he just wanted to use him. Not that he minded, unlike all the other people that used him, at least Johnny was hot and didn’t seem creepy or with weird kinks that would put him in danger. Maybe he could just have a fun ride with him without catching feelings.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even realize they had arrived at his place. When Johnny parked on the driveway, Taeyong looked out of the window and gulped. The complex appeared even colder now.

“Thank you for dropping me by,” he said, turning around to look at him. Johnny smiled and then shrugged, “No problem, really. I hope they weren’t too much to take today, you know, they can get a little invasive sometimes.”

Taeyong chuckled and then shook his head. “No, really, they were so nice and fun to be with. I actually had a great time.”

“So, you won’t mind coming back there if we need to?”

“No, not at all.” He grabbed his bags next to his shoes and then opened the door. “Goodnight, Johnny.”

“Goodnight, Taeyong.”

And when Johnny’s car sped away in the streets, Taeyong felt the same old lump in his throat. He was alone again. And now that he made his way into his apartment, it felt even colder and emptier. But unfortunately, he wasn’t alone. Because he always found a way to remind him that he was nothing and deserved no happiness.

The screen of his phone lighting up again was a clear reminder that he couldn’t run from him, no matter how far he was.

‘You know I don’t like it when you ignore me.’

Soon it was mid-April, the weather was starting to turn hotter, and the sun decided to shine more in the sky.

Everything was going strangely well. Jaehyun was slowly starting to build his name as a model. Jade was getting better. And Johnny was booked and busy  —even too much for his partners’ liking— between different shoots and the school project. And about the school project, Taeyong was spending lots of time with them.

They had found out that his doubts weren’t much on their type of relationship, but relationships in general. And that, unlike what Johnny believed, he didn’t hate him, actually, he liked him a lot.

But that was it, Taeyong liked Johnny. He was funny, caring, charming, full of light. And Taeyong liked being around him, a lot. He enjoyed his company, enjoyed his talks, his attentions, his touch even —it had been hard to get used to it. But he was sure what he felt for him wasn’t love. Now, being sure when it came to love matters wasn’t something Taeyong was good at, but he had asked Jaehyun, who seemed the most hopeless romantic of the three, and came to the conclusion that he didn’t feel all of those things for him, not so strong at least.

“What is love?” Taeyong had asked while he and Jaehyun were sitting on the bench under their porch while he was smoking a cigarette, a bad habit he never let go of. He was supposed to work with Johnny, but the oldest was tired and asked if he could sleep for at least an hour, and Taeyong was okay with it. At home there was Jaehyun, and he liked spending time with him.

“How can I explain it,” Jaehyun mumbled, playing with his fingers. “Love is complicated. Probably is not, but we make it complicated. I don’t know, I realized that the more I tried to push people away the more I cared for them, and yet it had to happen twice for me to realize it.”

Taeyong scrolled the ashes to the ground and said, “yeah, but how do you know you’re in love?”

“When you look at someone and the thought that crosses your mind is ‘damn, I’m fucked’, does it sound like a great explanation?”

The oldest chuckled. “So that means you feel something, right? Like something happens to your body. Isn’t it what people always say? The heart skipping a beat, the butterflies, the blushing and stammering.”

Jaehyun laughed lowly. “I never realized I was in love like this. It has always been in the small things that the other person did. Do you want to know why I fell for Jade?”

Taeyong nodded, even if he would’ve preferred he talked about Johnny. He didn’t like the way he felt about Jade. Like something was bubbling in his stomach every time she entered the room or accidentally touched him. He didn’t like how excited he was every time he heard her voice when he stepped into their house. 

“I can’t describe it, but it was the way she made me feel. I tried to hate her so much, you have no idea how much we pushed each other away for so long. But then, every time my eyes landed on her, I couldn’t help but feel my heart burst in happiness. I realized I was in too deep when, after a terrible day of college, her smile was the only thing that took the weight off my shoulders. When all the little attention she would give me made my day. And when we stopped fighting each other off, it just felt nice. I didn’t have to wonder and cry and question myself if that was the right place to be. I just knew she was my place, my person. We fit into each other perfectly. Just like we do with Johnny.”

“And that’s all? You just feel right?”

“You feel fine. When you’re in love, and it’s healthy, you feel comfortable when you’re with that person. And well, yes, also your chest flutter, the stomach curls, the excitement rising. And I don’t mean it sexually, it’s a different type of excitement.”

“It sounds bad, not good.”

“Do you feel it for somebody?” Jaehyun questioned with a teasing smirk.

“M-maybe,” Taeyong mumbled. “I don’t know.”

 But Taeyong knew it damn well. And the person that made his heart flutter, his throat dry, his cheeks heat up, and his stomach twist wasn’t Johnny. It was Jade.

Every time she would sit next to him and their legs brushed. Every time they would watch TV and she rested her head on his shoulder. Every time she played with his hair because they were soft. Every time that she simply existed.

He had no idea what the hell happened. But she made him happy, genuinely happy. Carelessly, even. Like all of his problems weren’t there for a split second. And every time he had to go back to his place, he hated it because he couldn’t bear to stay without her for so long.

Also, he felt like shit toward Johnny. Why couldn’t he fall —big and scary word— for him? Why her? That was just so cruel.

And the thing was, why did he fall in the first place? Taeyong didn’t even know the concept of love, never felt it or lived it or saw it in somebody else. The only time he thought someone loved him, it turned out it was just to use him as his personal fuck toy and make money off of him. So why was he putting himself into something that wasn’t for him?

“Do you think what I’m doing is stupid?”

Taeyong snapped out of his thoughts when Jade talked to him, a pout on her stressed face.

“No, why would it be stupid?”

“Because what do I need this for? My job doesn’t require knowing languages, and here I am, stressing to learn more.”

“I think that’s kind of cute,” he admitted. “You’re dedicated to learning something even if you don’t need it. And there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a passion without making a profit out of it.” Okay, probably that wasn’t what he found cute. It was the way her nose scrunched up every time she forgot how to read a word. Or how she would puff her cheeks because she couldn’t put the words in the right order to form a phrase. Or her cute Korean accent, that, for a non-native speaker, was excellent.

“I guess. I asked them to talk to me in Korean to help me, but they never do. They don’t even speak to each other in Korean,” she complained. Sometimes Jaehyun would say some things, random words  —mostly curses, but surely not something that helped her have a conversation. So, she had to learn by herself.

“Are you doing it for them?”

“No, I always loved languages. It was my other big passion along with graphic design. Studied French and Spanish in school, tried studying German, and gave up, and I know a tiny little bit of Italian. So, I wanted to give Korean a try. But I’m terrible,” she whined.

Taeyong was impressed, those were a lot of languages. “That’s not true, you’re really good.”

“You say that just because you have to.”

“No, really. You started four months ago, right?” She nodded, probably even less. “You can read hangul, make basic sentences and your pronunciation is great. Korean it’s not easy, and you’re gifted with languages.”

“Thanks, I still think you’re too nice,” she beamed. And Taeyong felt his heart flip in his chest. No, not again.

“I could help you if you want,” he proposed. He had no idea where he found the courage, but he did, and now there was no way out. But his fear left his body when her eyes lit up, and she straightened her body in anticipation.

“You would? Aren’t you busy?”

He shook his head. “I can always find some time for you.” Dammit, Taeyong, that was fucking cheesy and pathetic. What was wrong with him?

Jade felt her heart beat faster. She had no idea if she was going crazy, but the thing was that she liked Taeyong very much. They got along well, with no need for big words or anything. They just…fit. And the way he was always so sweet and nice to her made her heart falter in her chest.

“I’d love to, then,” she simply said, trying to hide how excited she really was, but the big smile on her face was a free getaway to her emotions.

But Taeyong wasn’t used to all of that, so he simply believed she was happy about learning a new language, when in reality she couldn’t wait to spend more time with him.

So soon it became an everyday thing to text each other in Korean, and every time he tried to push her to make bigger sentences with harder words.

But those messages soon became the highlight of their days. Jade had started to let him know pretty much everything that happened. It was a continuous rant about work, traffic, the pretty shade of pink she had seen on a skirt while she walked to the agency, a song that played on the radio that reminded her of when she was too young to get the dirty innuendos. It was random, but it made Taeyong’s heart explode in happiness. He felt like he was there, and if he closed his eyes, he could even hear her high-pitched excited voice and her little jumps around or the bright smile on her face.

It was scary, but he couldn’t get enough.

It was good, and he deserved something good.

He deserved the happiness that was starting to grow in his life. He was a good person. He was worthy. And he had no intention to let that happiness slip from his fingers now that he had found it.

But life always has other plans.

Hey Jade, are you up? Can I call you? I know it's late but I have no one else to reach.

The massage lighting up her screen confused her. What was Taeyong doing up at such a late hour? She didn’t hesitate to pick up her phone and go to his contact.

On the other line, Taeyong was shaking. He was already regretting texting her, and he thought she was sleeping, or he had woken her up and she hated him. But when her name appeared on the screen, he breathed again for just a second.

“Yong?” Her worried voice made his heart drop. He didn’t want to be a burden, but he felt hopeless right now. No matter how far he would run, he would always come back to him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up,” he started ranting, but she stopped him immediately.

“No, no. I was awake, got the random inspiration for a project, and I was making sketches. Where are you?” She felt her heart shake, she never heard him so broken.

“At home. But I really don’t want to be alone, and you said I could call you anytime, and I have no one else to talk to. Are they mad?”

“Johnny and Jaehyun? They’re sleeping together. What’s going on, prince?”

Taeyong smiled at the petname. She had started calling him that, and he loved it, it made him feel special even if he knew he wasn’t. “I don’t know for how long I can keep going on.” He broke down crying, loud sobs and whimpers, and somehow Jade could see him shaking from the other side of the phone.

Her senses perked up; what was going on? “Yongie? What do you mean?”

“I’m falling apart and no matter how hard I try, I have no reason to go on. You make your lovers happy, and your family is proud of the woman you became for sure, you have friends and I have nothing. I’m worthless. And he keeps reminding me that.”

Jade felt her heart fall into a million pieces. She swiftly got out of her nightgown and put on the first pants and sweater she found, and then rushed outside, trying not to make any sounds, so she wouldn’t wake up the other two.

“Don’t say it. You’re not worthless,” she said, voice shaking as well. She ran to the kitchen and grabbed a pen and a piece of paper to let them know where she was going in case they woke up and didn’t find her there.

“But it’s the truth, he was right. He is right.”

Who was he talking about? What was going on in his brain that he didn’t tell anyone? “No, listen to me. Stay in line, okay? And don’t do anything stupid.”

Taeyong chuckled bitterly, “ss if somebody would be hurt by it.”

Jade shook her head, grabbed her bag, and said, “I’ll be hurt by it. Johnny will be hurt by it. And even Jaehyun.”

“But you have each other. I’m nothing compared to you.”

Jade huffed, grabbed the car’s keys, and then stormed out of their place.

“You are my prince, remember? My beautiful and talented prince,” she reminded him, getting into the car. Luckily for her, the drive to his place wasn’t too far, especially now that the streets weren’t busy.

“No, I’m not. I should let you sleep. I’m sorry for bothering you. Goodnight, Jade,” he said, and before she could talk back, he hung off the call.

She slammed the wheel and then accelerated. Fuck traffic violations. You can always pay them, but you can’t save a life once it’s gone.

Once she reached his apartment, she rushed upstairs and knocked on the door. She couldn’t even care if she woke somebody else up.

“Taeyong, please. Open the door,” she half screamed. And when his head peeked out of the door, she threw herself in his arms and hugged him tightly.

“Don’t do it ever again. Don’t scare me to death like this, Tae. Please.” Her voice was basically a desperate beg, while tears of relief started streaming down her face.

“Why are you here? What about them?” He asked, still surprised she showed up at his door. He was shaking, and his voice was weak, his face marked with tears, and the last thing he expected was for her to come all the way there, to him.

“I’m here because I care about you. Because that’s what people do when they love each other. Because I couldn’t bear to lose you,” she said, voice shaking from the cries.

Taeyong looked at her with incredulity in his eyes. She... she loved him? Or was it in a friendship-like kind of way? She was afraid of losing him? And she really meant it by showing at his place?

“I didn’t want to scare you; I was afraid of myself, and I needed somebody to calm me down, but I’m afraid of getting between the three of you. I’m broken and none of you is. I would just screw your beautiful relationship up.”

Jade smiled and caressed his cheek. He didn’t like contact with people much. She could see how he avoided it every time somebody came close to him. But not her. He never pulled away from her. And he always reached for her.

“Come with me. I have something to tell you.”

The parking lot was empty when they arrived and sat there in silence. It was comfortable, it always was with her, and he wasn’t even afraid they were in the open.

“One confession from me. And one from you. If you feel like it,” Jade proposed, breaking the silence. “My therapist says that the key to people opening up to you is showing that you’re also open to let them in. I guess it worked, things between me and them started to get better when I started to open up.”

Taeyong quirked a brow, tilting his head to stare at her. “Therapist?”

“Yeah, I know. I was against it too, but then I realized it was the only solution to heal.”

To heal? From what?

“And to live my life to the fullest, or at least try. Starting to accept that I deserve good things, and I’m not an imposter that leads people to believe I’m good when I’m not.”

“Oh,” Taeyong gasped still confused about why she needed to go there. “Do they go, too?”

“No, but I kind of bring them with me. They don’t come in, but then I always end up telling them everything she said to me once I’m out. It’s odd, but it helps me. I have already opened up to somebody who is a stranger, so I just feel more comfortable opening up to the people I love,” she explained, shrugging.

Taeyong nodded, pressing his lips together. “Was this a confession? Do I owe you one?”

Jade chuckled, shaking her head, “No, this was just me losing my trail of thoughts. Going to therapy is not a confession.”

“Don’t people usually hide it, though? It’s bad, right? Only people with problems go there.” That was one of the main reasons why he never wanted to go there. It was accepting that there was something wrong with him, admitting to a stranger that he was weak and letting them judge him and shame him for what he let people do to him.

“Yeah, but it’s not something you should be ashamed of. We’re all going through something, someone’s worst, someone’s better, but I believe therapy would help everybody.”

“And how can somebody who doesn’t know you help you?”

“It’s a different kind of help, it’s not the one that the people you love can give to you. It’s without judgment and biases,” she explained, playing with a loose string of her pants. “It helped me a lot. Maybe you can come with me once. I can ask her if she can make an exception for you.”

“No, thanks. I don’t need it.” He shifted in his place, crossing his arms on his chest. There was no way he was going there. He was fine. “Can you tell me your confession, now?”

“Fine,” she whispered. “My family is not proud of the woman I became. Actually, I haven’t heard from them since, like, five years ago.” She couldn’t even remember how long it had been since she last called them or texted them.

“Are they... gone?”

“To me, yes. But I just cut strings off with them,” she explained.

“Why?” Taeyong asked, truly surprised. They all seemed so perfect.

“I had to do it for me, put myself first for once, after spending an entire life being the mother of children that weren’t mine. And also, being the parent of my parents. I don’t know when my house stopped feeling like home,” she shrugged, trying to suppress the shakiness in her voice. It was always hard to open up, but she felt fine with doing it with Taeyong. She had no idea why, she knew him less than she knew her lovers, yet, something about him put her at ease. She could see herself in him. 

“I was the one that had to keep the family together. Mediate every fight between my parents, keep my younger siblings busy in their room so at least they were safe from screams, curses, and objects thrown at each other,” she sighed. “And at some point, I just stopped feeling anything, I couldn’t be another problem, another mistake in that fucked up family,” she stopped, eyes drifting to the view in front of her as she tried to don’t break down crying. “That’s why I never told them anything about how I felt, I was used to it. Used to keeping the concerns to me and fixing them by myself. Used at pushing under the rug things that people did that hurt me ’cause I was afraid they would get mad at me, you know, just ’cause they would tell me I was selfish when I was simply trying to put up boundaries.”

Taeyong felt his heart clench. She had been through all of that? She had been through the same things he did? Well, not the same, but close enough.

“And your parents? Were they at least grateful?”

She laughed bitterly. “I was never enough. No matter what I would do. It wasn’t enough. Being good, succeeding, listening, and doing what they told me was never enough. I would always slip somewhere, there was always a missing piece. A spot in the house I forgot to clean. A grade that just wasn’t good enough. A shirt that wasn’t folded exactly how she wanted. And that led me to think that love meant going all the way for the person you loved. I never say it to the others, but I’m terrified that if I’ll stop shining in the same way, they’ll stop looking at me, loving me, wanting me. I’m working on it, I’m really trying. But love sometimes still feels like a painful chase, even if they’re there, and I know they love me. But you know, no matter how many steps forward you take, sometimes all your worst thoughts just come back crashing.”

He nodded. Oh, how much he got it.

“It gets better, it truly does. I now know there’s light and love, but some days it’s all I can think about,” she chuckled bitterly. “I was a little jealous of you when Johnny told us he loved you.”

Taeyong widened his eyes. She was jealous of him? And Johnny loved him? It wasn’t just a silly crush for real, then?

“Of me?”

She nodded. “I had never seen you, but the way Johnny described you, they way his eyes lit up, terrified me. He was so enamoured of you, I genuinely thought there was no space for me in his heart anymore,” she smiled. “He told us you have stars in your eyes, and I can’t help but see it now that I’ve known you.”

He thought he had stars in his eyes? That was the sweetest thing someone ever said about him in his life. They truly cared for him that much.

“And I’m sad you can’t see it, Yong, but I see why you swept him off his feet.”

“Just because I’m fuckable?”

Jade was taken aback by the comment and frowned for a second, but then shrugged it off and said, “no, you’re so much more than that.” But when he laughed, she stopped. “You don’t think that?”

He shook his head. “Sex is the only thing I’ve ever been good at. Not like I’ve ever done much, I would just take it, hoping for it to pass.”

“Who did it to you?” She asked now panicking. She always suspected Taeyong had been through something, but she never expected it to be so bad.

“Why does it matter? What can you do about him being everywhere? In my mind, on my body, and looking for me because he can’t get enough. Because he will follow me to the end of the world because I’m the best fuckhole he ever had.”

Jade felt her stomach twist in discomfort and her heart break at how nonchalantly Taeyong used those words about himself. And anger started to boil in her veins. “Who the fuck is he, Yong? Is he here? Does he follow you? Did he come to your house before?”

Taeyong denied, shaking his head, trying to suppress a sob. “I don’t know, he wants me to fall apart every time I put myself back up. I shouldn’t even be here with you; I don’t want him to hurt you or the others. I should take my distance from you.”

“No,” she said, grabbing his hand and caressing his back with her thumb. “I’m not letting you go, Taeyong.”

“What will happen if you lose me? Nothing will change if I go.”

“It will. You have no idea what kind of warmth and happiness you bring me. If you leave me, I’ll be devastated. If anything bad happens to you, I would never find peace again.”

He shook his head. “That’s why I have to leave. You can’t take me away from him.”

“Taeyong, please, let us help. It will get better. We’ll do anything to don’t let him come close to you anymore.” She didn’t even know the story, she had no idea what was going on, but she couldn’t care. 

“It’s not worth it,” he mumbled. “I’m not worth it.”

“You are. You are my prince, remember?”

“A prince should have value, should be important.”

“And that’s exactly what you are for me. Please, don’t go.”

“But I’m broken. I’m a mess.”

“That won’t stop me from loving you. There are people who are willing to love you even at your darkest.”

Taeyong felt his heart falter as he looked back up at her. “I’ve never felt love, though. I don’t know how it works. I don’t know how to don’t screw up the things I care about. I don’t even know if I believe in it.”

“You only have to believe that we won’t go away,” she replied, squeezing his hand tighter. “And now let’s go home. You need to sleep in a warm bed.”

Taeyong woke up with a pair of arms wrapped around him and his face buried into the crook of somebody’s neck. The sweet scent of vanilla and the warmth of another body made him smile.

Home.

That’s what it felt like. Something he was now sure he never felt before.

He snuggled closer and heard a low chuckle roll out of the other’s lips.

“Somebody’s pretty affectionate this morning.”

He moved away a little to take a look at her face smashed against the satin pillowcase, he could remember she told her the night before it was so that her curls wouldn’t ruin, a better option since the headscarf always flew somewhere in the bed in the middle of the night.

She was beautiful, even if she had just woken up, even if sleep was still in her eyes.

“Mhh,” he hummed, wrapping his hand around the fabric of her nightgown. “I like it here,” he admitted.

“Yeah, this mattress is really comfortable,” she joked, brushing his hair out of his face.

“No,” he replied. “I like being here, in your arms.”

A smile crept on her face as she fondly stared at him. He seemed a bit more relaxed than the night before. It had been tough making him fall asleep. Just like it had been hard to convince him to wear Jaehyun’s clothes and sleep in her bed. And she was sure he stopped arguing to sleep on the couch just because the tears had tired him down.

“So, I guess you slept well?”

Taeyong nodded and then lowered his face. “I’m sorry for yesterday. I didn’t want to scare you and make you worry about nothing.”

Jade sighed. “Stop apologizing, you didn’t do anything. And also stop saying that is nothing.”

“Yeah, but really, I just overreact.”

She wanted to roll her eyes but didn’t and instead asked, “can you tell me what happened? Like, he must’ve told you something to make you react like this.”

Taeyong sighed and pursed his lips in a thin line. He didn’t want to think about him. He just wanted to pretend that was his life. He was happy and part of their happy little family. He was dating her, and he woke up with her arms around his body every day. He didn’t exist in his happy little bubble.

“I know it’s hard, but just tell me enough so we can help. Then I won’t bring him up again.”

“I don’t want to keep you out, but I’m ashamed.”

“Why would you be ashamed of something you suffered? You are the victim, not the guilty. He should be ashamed of himself.”

Taeyong nodded. He knew that. But it was his body that still carried all the proof of what happened, all the pain and wounds. Still, he had to do it.  

“I was fifteen when my dad discovered I liked boys. He was already disappointed in me. I always had a passion for fashion and dance, all things that for him weren’t manly enough,” Taeyong breathed deeply and then searched for Jade’s hand, holding her was the only thing that calmed him a bit. “Then he realized I was bisexual, and somehow he became even harsher with me. He believed it was even worse, that I was greedy, a whore, you know, just the usual.”

Jade squeezed his hand tighter while she felt her stomach twist. She understood him, biphobia wasn’t something she was foreign to, it was always clear what people thought about bisexuals.

“And then he started to beat me, every smallest thing that would happen, he would take it on me. It went on like this since I was eighteen.”

“Wait, is that scar caused by him?” She asked, pointing at the scar under his right eye. She always wanted to ask him about that, but knew how much of a sensitive topic it could’ve been, so she avoided it.

He smiled and shook his head. “No, I have scars that he left on my body, but not that. I had atopy when I was a kid and was terrible at not scratching me, so here it is.”

“Oh, I like it. It reminds me of a rose.” Now that she was sure there wasn’t a tragic reason behind that, she felt lighter to let him know that she always found it gorgeous.

Taeyong mouthed a thank you and then went on. “Then it just got worse, I don’t want to go into detail, but he made me reach my limit. That’s when I realized I couldn’t take it any longer and started studying English to come here, fly the farthest away possible. But I needed money, and I didn’t have a job. So, I did the worst mistake of my life.” He was shaking. He hated remembering his past, even if it pretty much happened every night. But at least they were just thoughts, he never had to explain it out loud. Nobody ever cared about him enough to know what happened to him.

“You don’t have to go on if you don’t feel like it,” she reassured him, caressing his hair with her other hand.

“No, I can, I just… need some time,” he replied and then exhaled deeply. “I met this man, Jiwoo. He was rich, and I thought he was all I needed to escape. He made me believe he loved me, that I was important, that I was special, even,” he chuckled bitterly. He felt stupid, he couldn’t believe his past self believed all his empty words. And he hated himself even more because sometimes he missed those old times, probably it was just a defence mechanism that his brain used to make him believe that there was something good in all of that pain. “He was thirty, and I was eighteen, and I believed I could mean something to him.”

“It’s not your fault, you know, right?”

“Yeah. I guess I could’ve been more careful, wiser. But I was just a dumb, useless boy, so I fell into the trap. And soon, all the magic turned into madness. He offered me a job that would’ve paid a lot, and I thought it was a place at his company, but it turned out I just had to be a slut for everybody that knew him.”

Jade’s blood froze. How can anyone be so careless and cruel? Especially with a boy who just turned eighteen. 

“In Korea, strip clubs aren’t legal, but rich people always find a way to break the rules. He had told me I could be a dancer in this private club during the weekends, it was a big pay. I could pay him back for all the money he had spent on me.”

“He spent money on you?”

“I needed to get a risky operation for my back problems, but the healthcare put me on a waitlist that was too long, so he decided to pay double the price to a doctor he knew to make me pass immediately. I accepted, I believed he was doing it for love, and I needed to be fine to come here. But he didn’t, he didn’t care about me,” Taeyong mumbled, and he had to stop for a moment. Jade pulled him closer, making him snuggle against her chest while she caressed his back.

“Hey, it’s fine,” she cooed. “Take your time, we aren’t in a rush.”

He knew, but now Pandora’s box was open, he didn’t want to stop. He wanted her to know. He needed to let this go. He was sure the pain was still going to be there, but maybe it would’ve weighed a little less.

“I started working there. At the start, it was truly just dancing… with skimpy clothes that barely covered anything and hungry eyes on me, but it was just that,” he stopped again but forced his eyes open to stare at Jade. He knew that if he closed them, all the memories were going to come back; they were still vivid in his brain. “Then all the men there showed their true colours. He dragged me around, showing me off, saying I was his pretty… well, you can imagine. And before I could say anything to make him stop, they were all over me,” he broke down crying. He just wanted to forget. Wanted to stop thinking about how their hands felt on his skin. Rough and harsh and foreign. He just wanted to remember Jade’s soft touch, and Johnny’s… and Jaehyun’s. Their hands were soft, gentle, and they all seemed so careful with him. No trashing him around, no throwing him on the floor, grabbing him by the hair, no need to force him to do anything.

“You don’t have to tell me the details, it’s already enough.”

“I know, but I still feel dirty sometimes. I still have scars on my body, cigarette burns, belt bruises that never healed, wounds everywhere.”

“But you aren’t your scars, you’re not even what they did to you. They’re in the past.”

“No, not when I went through that so many nights. I can’t drown them out. Their touch, their words. I will never be clean.”

“You will, you just have to let us in and help you. If you don’t want to go alone, I’ll ask the therapist if I can come with you or Johnny if you feel more comfortable with him than me.”

“No, I want you. I want to go with you.”

Jade smiled. “Then I’ll be there for you, okay? And you’ll get over this. I won’t lie, some things can’t just be erased, but it will get better, you have to trust me on this.” 

“I do, I trust you, a lot. More than I’ve ever trusted anybody else.”

She beamed, caressing his cheek. “Good, because I’m not going anywhere.”

“But what if he hurts you, too?”

“But you left, right? He’s in Korea, he can’t hurt you.”

Taeyong shook his head. “He said he knows where I am, that it took him ages to find me, but he finally did. He said he wants me back and that I still owe him something.”

“But you don’t,” she said. “You paid him back, and you can’t just own people as if they were objects.”

Taeyong gulped and Jade stared at him with confusion on her face. “You paid him back, right?”

“Partially…” he whispered, voice barely audible.

“How much is that part?”

“I still own him eight thousand, three-hundred and something pounds, more or less.”

Jade’s eyes widened. So fucking much?

“But why?”

“I couldn’t take it anymore. I just had to leave, it was killing me, and I just left. Sold one of my dad’s watches and came here. Cutting all bridges with Seoul, but he found me, and I’m terrified. I don’t want to go back there, I don’t want to be used like that again.”

“You won’t, we’ll pay it back,” Jade said, shushing him.

“We?”

“Yes, we. Let’s go talk to the other two.”

“No, wait. I can’t involve you in this.”

“That’s what happens when you’re with somebody, Yong. I’m not letting that disgusting man take advantage of you ever again.”

“They will judge me,” he said, stopping her by grabbing her gown.

“They won’t, we don’t even have to tell them the whole thing. Let me handle it, okay?”

Taeyong wanted to retort, but honestly, had no strength. He trusted her, and he was also sure that, without their help, the only option was going back to Seoul and going through that over and over again.

“Look who’s up, sleepyheads,” Jaehyun greeted, turning around from his chair to stare at the two.

Johnny was laying against the countertop, smiling at them. “Is everything alright?” He asked, immediately sensing something was wrong. “What happened tonight?” They were pretty concerned when they read the note on the table this morning when they woke up but didn’t want to wake them since they were sleeping so peacefully.

“Yong, sit down,” she said and then moved the chair to sit next to him. “Johnny, can you please come here, too?”

The eldest nodded and sat in front of her.

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong muttered before Jade could say anything. “It’s all my fault. I didn’t want to reach her but I had nowhere else to go. I was afraid to do something stupid, and she was the first person that came to my mind.” He gave an apologetic look at Johnny; how could he ask for his help when he loved him, and he was probably falling for his girlfriend?

“You don’t have to say sorry. She’s not our property that always has to stay with us,” Jaehyun reassured him, but Taeyong didn’t smile or do anything. He broke down crying. He couldn’t do this to them. He couldn’t put them in bankrupt because he fucked it up when he was a kid.

“Hey,” Johnny called, reaching for him, but he pulled back and stood up.

“Yong, stay here,” Jade screamed, but he was already out the door. She ran after him, and what she saw, left her speechless.

A man was sitting on the front porch with a sly smirk on his face. Taeyong was frozen on the spot, tears streaking his face and body shaking.

“Yong, come in.”

“No, no,” the man sang. “He’s actually coming with me,” he said, standing up and walking to him, wrapping his hand around Taeyong’s arm.

“Let him go,” she screamed, causing Johnny and Jaehyun to rush to the door.

The man snickered, “Now you became a home service slut? Still making money in the same way because that’s the only thing you can do. Well, I hope they paid you a lot because you owe me a lot.”

“He doesn’t owe you anything,” Johnny chimed in, walking past the door.

The man laughed, and then forced Taeyong’s head up, grabbing him by the hair roughly.

“Let go of him, you’ll hurt him,” Johnny ordered, walking closer to him, but the man took a step back. “Oh, who is he? Your boyfriend? Made you feel like you are worth more than a fuck? Or was it that little girl there? You’d let anything breathing use you, anyway.”

“Stop it,” she snapped, walking forward, but Jaehyun grabbed her. He didn’t want her to get hurt. Johnny could defend and attack, while she couldn’t. “Let him go. Aren’t you disgusted by yourself?”

“Disgusted? Why would I? I missed him so much, can’t believe his dumb brain was able to make it so hard to find him, actually.”

Johnny punched him at those words, making him fall to the ground, and making Taeyong scream. “No, please, stop,” he squealed. “Get back in, I have control over this. It’s fine.”

“It’s not fucking fine,” Johnny almost growled. “Who does he think he is?”

The man spat the blood on the floor and then started getting up, but Johnny swiftly grabbed Taeyong and moved him behind him, shielding him. “The one that owns him.”

“You can’t own people,” Johnny retorted, and the man scoffed.

“Yeah, because he’s not one.”

Taeyong felt his heart fall to pieces and clenched his hand around Johnny’s shirt, he knew he should’ve just ended it all that night instead of calling her. Now he had dragged them into this mess, too. And they didn’t deserve it.

Another punch followed, and Jaehyun launched himself forward to pull Taeyong out of that.

“Talk about him like this again, and you won’t have any teeth once I’m done with you.”

“Really? All of this for a whore?”

Johnny wanted to punch again, but Jade rushed between them, and he stopped immediately to don’t hurt her. 

“We’ll pay you back, but you have to leave him alone. Forever,” she said. And Johnny and Jaehyun stared at her in confusion.

The man snickered and looked back at where Taeyong was standing, head low. “You didn’t tell them? Didn’t tell them how many men passed you around? All the things I did for you?”

“You hurt him, that’s what you did to him. You were fucking an eighteen-years-old and let all of your disgusting friends do the same. He was only eighteen.”

“He needed that. It’s not my fault he was desperate for money. Not my fault his back was fragile and needed a cure.”

The two men were even more confused and stared back at Taeyong who wasn’t saying anything. He was just shaking and crying lowly.

“Tell him, Taeyong. Tell him how much money you owe me.”

“Around eight thousand, three-hundred pounds,” Taeyong mumbled.

“Are you sure? Let’s say ten thousand, five-hundred and fifty pounds, even.”

Taeyong’s head snapped up, and so did everybody’s. “No, I paid you back more than that.”

“Oh, yeah, you did. But you know how it works, interests,” he smirked. A disgusting, unsettling smirk that made shivers run down their bodies.

When Taeyong started walking to him, Jade tried to stop him by the wrist, but he pulled away.

“What are you doing?”

“Going back, it’s the only thing I can do.”

“No, you’re not going back,” Johnny replied instead. He didn’t even have a clear picture of what was going on, but Taeyong wasn’t going back to him.

“It’s too much money, I can’t pay him back here.”

“We’ll pay for it,” Jaehyun intervened. “We’ll give you everything back, and you’ll disappear from his life and if you dare to come back, we’ll sue you.”

The man shrugged. “A loss, you’re my favourite slut after all, but I’ll take it. Only if you have the money for tomorrow night.”

Taeyong was about to complain, but Johnny had already agreed, and Jade pulled him back with them not giving him the chance to retort. 

“And now get lost,” Jade spat, glaring at him.

The man laughed. “You’ll realize soon that he’s not worth it.”

“Fuck you,” she yelled and then turned around to go back inside.

“You shouldn’t have,” Taeyong cried as soon as they entered the house again. “He’s right, I’m not worth it.”

“We did it because we all care for you, Yong,” Jaehyun said, sitting next to him on the couch, handing him a glass of water. But Taeyong declined. He felt like throwing up, and he was shaking like crazy.

“You don’t even have all this money,” he said. “And I have very little to put into.” He probably could pay like two thousand of it, not more.

“We have savings,” Johnny reassured him. They were the money for a new house, but this was way more important than a pretty place to live in.

“I don’t know when I’ll be able to fully pay you back, though.”

“You don’t have to, we don’t need it,” Jade said.

“Yes, you do. You wanted to move out of here, I’m sure the savings are for the house. And now you’ll have to use them for me.”

“Hey,” Johnny cooed, caressing his cheek. “If I start getting contact now, I can fit five or six weddings this summer, and we’ll be back in with the money.” Johnny had stopped doing weddings when his job in fashion launched. But at the end of the day, they still were the things that paid the most. He either had big projects for editorials, or else the pay wasn’t much. While with three days of work, he could take home around two thousand pounds, or more, since now he was popular and could afford to raise the price. It wasn’t his dream job, but he didn’t mind much.

“The only thing that matters is that you’re out of his way and free from him,” Jaehyun added.

Taeyong couldn’t understand why they were so nice to him. He wasn’t even part of this. He was a stranger.

“That’s what family do,” Jade reassured him, caressing his back.

“I’m not part of your family.”

“Oh, I think you are,” Jade smiled. “Didn’t you say you loved being in my arms? And look how good you look with Jae’s clothes on.”

“That’s not enough to make me part of your happiness.”

“I think it is,” Jaehyun insisted. “It’s nice having you around. Honestly, I’m starting to miss you when you’re not here because you go back to your place.”

Taeyong looked at him. He didn’t love him, right?

“But… what if this isn’t for me? What if I can’t fit here?”

“We don’t want to keep you here,” Johnny explained. “We just care that you’re out of that hell. We’ll pay him, and that’s it. It won’t mean you owe us something.”

“So, it’s fine if I give you a little every month?”

“We’re fine, Yong,” Jade repeated. “You’ve had this bottled up for so long, we just want you to be fine.”

“Yes, but why?”

“Because we care for you,” Johnny explained. He wanted to say he loved him, and probably, in different ways, even the others did, but he didn’t want to scare him away.

Taeyong wanted to ask why they cared for him when he didn’t do anything for them, but didn’t. He had no strength to think about feelings. “Can I stay here just for the weekend? I don’t want to go back there.”

“Sure,” Johnny replied. “Why don’t you go take a shower? Maybe it will help you relax, and we’ll prepare for lunch.”

“Can I?”

“Sure,” Jade said. “I’ll take a clean robe for you.”

Taeyong never stayed just for the weekend. Even once they paid that piece of shit, he couldn’t bear to go back to his place. Not when being there brought him so much serenity. Not when sleeping in Jade’s arms didn’t make him have nightmares.

It had been a little more than four weeks now, and he couldn’t say he was doing amazing, but he was doing great. He was starting to open up more, and they were helping him a lot. He even went to the therapist with Jade once. They couldn’t afford another therapy, but she was so gentle to leave him exercises he could do by himself to help him cope until he could actually follow a cure.

“Do you know the meaning of every flower on heart?” Johnny asked while laying on the couch staring at him while Taeyong fixed the bouquet of daffodils on the windowsill. They had just come home from the supermarket, on their way back, Taeyong had seen a flower shop and asked Johnny if they could stop by.

“Not all, but a lot of them,” he replied. “Do you know why I chose these?”

Johnny shook his head.

“They are the first perennial flowers that bloom after winter. Usually, they bloom under the snow, meaning that the long and cold winter is over. So, it’s obvious they symbolize rebirth and hope. I always loved them because in my eyes they’ve always been like little warriors that endure the cold and even after all the difficulties bloom in all their purity,” a bitter smile curled his lips. “I always wanted to be like them, but I never seemed to make it to the good part.”

“But now…” Johnny said, smiling at him.  

“Now, I think there’s potential,” he smiled back. “A new begging, inspiration, endless love. All things that I’m starting to believe can be part of my life.”

Johnny beamed tenderly and then walked to him, wrapping his arms around him. He was so proud of his little steps. He knew it hadn’t been much, and there were going to be so many fall downs in the way, but he was really proud of him.

“Oh, and they also remind me of Jade,” he added with a dumb smile on his face. Taeyong didn’t confess to anybody, but Johnny was pretty sure he felt something for her. And he couldn’t even be mad for not being the one he loved. It was endearing seeing him add her into every conversation, think about her everywhere he went, or see his cheek burn red when she kissed him before going to work.

“Do they?”

Taeyong nodded, wrapping his arms around his. “They’re bright and beautiful, and they bring me joy.” And Taeyong didn’t even realize how lost he was for her. He just talked and talked without stopping his thoughts.

“You should tell her,” Johnny hummed against his ear. “I know she looks all tough and confident, but she loves compliments more than she shows. And this one’s pretty nice.”

Taeyong nodded, “I will. What can we do now?”

“I could propose different funny things, but the food is begging to be put in its place,” he joked, leaving a peck on his cheek. Taeyong was also becoming more open to physical exchanges, he craved contact much more, almost as if he needed it. They all knew not to cross the line, especially him and Jaehyun, but it was nice to know he was comfortable around them, especially after knowing everything he had been through. 

“Fine. When we’re done with that we could bake something for Jaehyun,” Taeyong suggested. He was working extremely hard to finally take a step forward and don’t just be any model, but make a name for himself. That meant he was always out working twice as hard. They almost barely saw him, and Taeyong also felt a little guilty because he had basically kidnapped Jade all for himself, but he really couldn’t sleep with anybody else.

“I’m sure he’ll love it.”

And so, they started putting what they bought in its place and then started baking together. Baking together was a big word since it was more like Taeyong reading the recipe and spitting orders while Johnny had to do all the job, but it was still fun spending time together.

“It’s a waste not to put all those muscles to work,” Taeyong teased, feeling his forearms. And Johnny rolled his eyes.

“You always do that, put me to work, and make me do all the things that make me suffer.”

“Maybe it’s just an excuse to see you flex those muscles,” the younger taunted, winking at him.

“Don’t tease,” Johnny warned.

“I’m not, but you’re hot, and you know it because you always walk around the house with just a tank top, and you know it’s killing all of us.”

Johnny raised a brow and smirked. “Uh, you included?”

Taeyong blushed and then turned around, pretending to be reading the recipe, but Johnny started tickling him, making him laugh and begging him to stop.

“Admit it,” Johnny teased close to his face. He wanted to kiss him so fucking bad, but he knew he couldn’t. No matter how much Taeyong flirted and had opened up. He just couldn’t throw away all his steps forward.

“Fine, you’re average,” he gave up, winking. But Johnny started tickling him again, and he screamed, “no, no, okay, fine, you’re hot, you’re hot.”

Johnny smiled content. “Good, what I wanted to hear.”

“You’re so full of yourself,” Taeyong joked, throwing his head back, and Johnny took the occasion to start to attack his neck with playful kisses. “Johnny!” He screamed, laughing uncontrollably. “Stop it,” he said, trying to tickle him, but with no success. “We’ll burn the biscuits.”

Johnny laughed before pulling away. “You’re lucky I care too much about Jae,” he said before leaving a peck on his forehead, making him blush.

“Can I kiss you?” Taeyong asked, catching him by surprise. The eldest turned around again with shock written all over his face.

“Are you serious?”

Taeyong bit his lower lip while nodding.

“You don’t have to, you know, we’re fine like this,” he said. Their relationship was weird, but he didn’t mind, it was better than nothing, and he didn’t want to ruin anything like the first time they kissed.

“But I want to,” Taeyong stated, intertwining their fingers. Maybe he didn’t love Johnny, but he knew he liked him, a lot. And he was sure it wasn’t just sexual attraction, he deeply cared for him, and he liked how safe Johnny made him feel, he simply wasn’t there just yet. But he wanted to feel him just a little closer. As absurd as it was, kissing him scared him less than the thought of kissing Jade.

“Are you sure?” Johnny asked again, just to make sure he wasn’t crossing any line. And when Taeyong nodded and moved closer, he leaned down and let their lips crash together. They still tasted like cigarettes, but now the strawberry taste was replaced by Jade’s peach lipstick, and they were slightly less chapped. And this time the kiss was softer, slower but not hesitant, there was no fear in Taeyong’s lips or in his hands that gently wrapped around his nape to pull him closer. 

And Taeyong knew for sure that he liked Johnny, now. Not as much as the older did with him, but enough to know that now, falling deeper wasn’t as scary as it seemed before. Probably it wouldn’t have happened now or anytime soon, but one day.

He was sure one day he wouldn’t have minded being Johnny’s boyfriend.

And this time when they pulled away, they were both smiling while being on cloud nine. 

Johnny knew that the one that got Taeyong’s heart racing wasn’t him, but this was already more than enough.

“I’m exhausted,” Jaehyun whined as soon as he entered the house, throwing his things on the cabinet next to the door. “Where’s my kiss?”

“Johnny’s in the shower, is mine okay?” Taeyong asked, reaching him.

Jaehyun smiled. He had no idea what his relationship with Taeyong was. Truly, nobody in that house knew for sure. But he liked him. Friends seemed like a good word to describe what they had, but sometimes it felt like it wasn’t enough. But he already knew Johnny liked him and that Taeyong liked Jade, so he didn’t want to add himself to that mess and screw him over. He had just started recovering, there was no need to ruin it. And also, it was nice just having a friend around.

“Sure, bubu,” Jaehyun smiled. “Come here.”

Taeyong stood on his tiptoes as he left a kiss on Jaehyun’s cheek and then hugged him tightly. “I missed you,” he confessed, letting Jaehyun hug him back. It was true that he didn’t feel any romantic attraction toward him, but he enjoyed spending time with Jaehyun. They had a lot of things in common, and also his hugs were the best, yes, probably even better than Jade’s and Johnny’s.

“I missed you, too,” Jaehyun replied, leaving a peck on top of his hair. “Had fun today?” He knew he had no classes on Wednesday and since he hated being alone, Johnny always took a day off to stay with him. Jade didn’t have much freedom and, well, he was super busy and had no choice but to accept everything his company gave him. Being full was better than having no jobs at all, also considering that agencies and photographers had the tendency to pay months later. So, his paycheck was always delayed, and he hated it so much.  

Taeyong nodded and then pointed at the vase on the windowsill. “Look, I bought them for us.”

“Yellow roses?”

Taeyong glared at him, and he took a step back, scratching his neck. “I guess they’re not roses.”

“They are yellow daffodils, and they are the best flowers in the world.”

“I’m sorry, I’m really terrible with everything that involves nature,” Jaehyun apologized, walking closer to get a better look. “They’re lovely.”

“I know, they are a symbol of hope, figured we might need some luck.”

“Do you believe in those things?”

Taeyong shrugged. “I don’t know, they just bring me hope, it’s silly, but it keeps me grounded.”

Jaehyun nodded. He never really got anything of that kind, Johnny always said that he was too cynical, but he just couldn’t grab onto those things. Still, it was nice when people believed in them and knew what they were talking about.

“You might give me a lesson about flowers one day, then,” he proposed, genuinely interested in the matter.

“Careful, he might never stop talking,” Johnny chimed, making his way into the room, only a towel covering his lower body.

Taeyong rolled his eyes. “Cover up, God. You’re shameless.”

“It’s for your eyes, I’m doing you a favour. Not many people have the opportunity to see all of this.”

“Not many people want to see it,” he replied, sticking his tongue out.

Jaehyun laughed at their little bickering and then moved over to Johnny. “Since the shower is free, I’m going in, leaving you two alone, hoping I won’t find someone dead.”

“We won’t kill each other, don’t worry,” Johnny said. “A kiss?”

“I don’t know, already had Taeyong’s,” Jaehyun teased.

“Fine,” Johnny said and then walked closer to him to whisper in his ear, “next time beg Taeyong to suck your dick.”

That year it felt like June arrived sooner than usual, bringing along the hot weather and sunny days —for what they could be, considering how fickle the London sky was.

Taeyong was definitely feeling better.

Given the situation, Jade’s therapist decided to make him pay half the price for the therapy, and he could finally approach professional help. It required some sacrifices, but thankfully Johnny managed to book himself for seven weddings, so they were pretty sure that by the end of summer they were going to re-enter of the money they paid Jiwoo and also breathe again. The new house was still out of the question, but they didn’t mind. Jade’s room became also Taeyong’s, and she was fine with it, she was used to sharing rooms all her life anyway. She couldn’t afford to be a freelancer again, the money was never safe that way, and they already had Jaehyun’s paycheck that came late, they needed something fixed along with Taeyong’s teacher pay.

But they were all happy, and that was the only thing that mattered.

Taeyong was starting to fall in love with life for the first time ever. He finally had a reason to make it through the day, well, three reasons to make it. And he felt good in a way he never felt before.

Jaehyun was right. Love was never easy, but it wasn’t supposed to be an eternal battle. Love wasn’t scars, tears and begging people to stay with you on bleeding knees. Love wasn’t walking on eggshells with the fear of falling and making a mess and getting screamed at. Love wasn’t black and white and hostile like the cold wind of winter. Love was bright, bright yellow like daffodils blooming under a thick surface of freezing snow.

Love was coming home and taking a breath of relief because finally the place he lived in felt safe. No hands on his body, no harsh words thrown at him, no pain. Coming home now meant opening the door to the scent of Johnny’s freshly cooked food. Or to Jaehyun playing the piano. Or to Jade singing songs loudly.

He now got what Jaehyun meant by feeling the weight of the world being lifted off his shoulder. Because love wasn’t supposed to make you feel heavier, but lighter. Light enough to make you fly.

Love wasn’t supposed to be cruel, it wasn’t a game as many said. Love was warmth.

Love was the giggling on the bed while Jade desperately tried to make conversation with him in Korean, and he would get too hyped and talk too fast. Love was cooking on Friday night with Johnny, waiting for the other two to come home and tell them about their day. Love was teaching Jaehyun how to sew while their favourite albums played in the background. 

And he didn’t care he loved all of them differently, and probably with Jaehyun it wasn’t even that kind of love, he didn’t want to fight over labels. Like Jaehyun had told him, it just flowed. And he was going to let it flow. He was done stopping good things from happening to him. He deserved happiness, God if he deserved it. And now that he had found it, he wasn’t letting go.

“Can I tell you something?” Taeyong asked Jade. They were dancing in the living room as the turntable played a random album they picked up, it was something ambient just to keep them company. They just wanted to do something cliché now that they had the house for themselves. Johnny and Jaehyun were away for a week for a quite big project that hopefully would’ve opened more doors, especially to Jaehyun, and maybe brought enough money to Johnny to open his own studio.

She nodded, humming lowly.

He really wondered for long if he should’ve confessed or not. But he couldn’t take it anymore. He had her right there, and the fact that he couldn’t kiss her anytime he wanted like the other did, killed him. He was terrified. Terrified of his feelings for being so strong. Terrified it was all in his head, and she only liked him as a friend. But in the pit of his heart, he felt it was safe to admit it now.

“Cat got your tongue?” She teased playfully, caressing his cheek, and right at the moment, with the light hitting his face just right, she realized that she had never seen someone as beautiful as him. Sure, Johnny and Jaehyun weren’t ugly, but there was something about Taeyong. He truly was her prince, and she felt so lucky to have him in her life.

He shook his head. “No,” he mumbled, lowering his gaze to the floor. “It’s just… I’ve never done this before, and I’m scared.”

“You never danced?” She asked, tilting her head to the side.

Taeyong bit his lower lip, pulling his skin from the nervousness, and shook his head again. “No,” he replied. “This,” he whispered and without thinking twice moved forward, making their lips meet. 

Jade was surprised and widened her eyes, but she soon melted in his embrace. She closed her eyes and pulled him closer, hands intertwining in his hair. And they both could swear that nothing felt so intimate and yet so fragile and vulnerable. That kiss felt as if they could finally start to breathe again. As if, finally, all their wounds were cured. They had found each other, and no one else could understand each other the way they did.

Taeyong pulled her waist closer, almost afraid she would slip away, but he knew it wasn’t like that anymore. She was there, right in front of him, between his arms, hanging from his lips, and wasn’t going anywhere. Just like she promised.

They deepened the kiss, and she felt intoxicated by the faint scent of cigarettes that still lingered in his mouth — he was trying to stop— and the taste of her lip balm mixing together. She smiled, thinking that they were already there. His taste and hers were already on his beautiful lips.

And Jade’s lips were soft and plump, and they felt better than he could ever dream. And he could feel her smile against his and couldn’t help but smile back.

When they pulled away, they felt like they weren’t there, but in another dimension where everything was fine. “I really like you, Jade,” he confessed, turning a light shade of red. “Actually, I think I love you.” That confession was a lower whisper, but they were so close she could hear it anyway.

A smile curled her lips. “Took you long enough to let me know.”

“I thought you didn’t feel the same, I didn’t want to lose you or make it strange. And also, I feel guilty about Johnny.”

“Well, good for you, I do feel the same,” she said, and her eyes crinkled up. “Or else it was going to be weird since there’s only the two of us at home. But don’t worry about him. Johnny’s patient and I know that you like him. He’s fine with what you have.”

Taeyong felt his heart skip a beat and the butterflies in his stomach take off. “You do?”

She nodded. “You were actually scaring me, I feared you only saw me as a pillow,” she joked, and he laughed.

“I would never only see you as a pillow,” he replied. “Also, like a blanket,” he joked, and she playfully pushed his chest back.

“Can we make up for lost time? Can I kiss you again?”

Here, that was something Taeyong still wasn’t used to. Consent. Always. Even for the smallest thing. He was so used to people just taking what they wanted that it felt so weird how they all respected each other’s boundaries.

“Yeah,” he breathed out, voice shaky, still incredulous that this was happening. She beamed and then leaned in again, gently cupping his face and kissing him slowly. And he wasn’t sure what was happening to his body, but after a while, as they kept swinging around without stopping kissing, he realized he wanted more. His body craved her. He wanted her.

“Jade,” he gasped between a kiss, pulling away just enough to breathe again.

“Yes?”

“I want you,” he whispered, feeling heat creep on his face again. “I want to make love to you.” He knew it was cheesy, and he knew that it was still sex, but he needed to remind himself that this wasn’t that kind of sex, this was different. This was something he was going to enjoy with the person he loved.

She pulled back a little more, with a confused expression on her face. “Are you sure? Isn’t it too early?” Yes, it had been ages since anything physically happened to him, but it had been just two months since he started working on his past traumas and everything was being brought back to the surface. Just last week, he had a nightmare after going to therapy. She didn’t want to cut the wounds again.

“I am. It’s you. I know I want you. I want to be loved,” he confessed. It was the most honest confession he could make. He needed somebody to put his pieces back together. He needed somebody that reminded him how good he was. Somebody who gave him hopes that his body wasn’t stuck in the pain of the past, but in the beauty of the present.

Jade smiled and grabbed his hand, starting to walk to their bedroom. “But if you change your mind, or anything makes you feel weird, tell me, I’ll stop right away.”

He nodded, feeling something bubble up in his stomach. But this time it wasn’t fear, it was anticipation. It had happened he had overheard some of them have sex in the other rooms. The walls weren’t really thick and even if they did their best to keep it quiet, it didn’t always work out the best. And he was so jealous, he just wanted to feel it too, to know what it felt like to be loved in every aspect.

Jade kissed him again, and then they made their way to the bed. There wasn’t a rush in their movements. No hunger in their hands, and it felt new for both. Well, for Taeyong it was obvious why. And for Jade simply because with the other it was never slow, well, unless it was a morning thing or late-night super lazy fuck. But this was totally different. They felt like two teenagers at their first experience. Their hands seemed insecure, unsure of what to do.

Jade wasn’t used to being the one in control. She wasn’t even sure she liked it or was good at it. Usually, it was always one of them having control. But now, that Taeyong was beneath her, looking at her with sparkling eyes, she felt a new feeling in her bones.

She smiled and straddled his lap, feeling his hardening member, without stopping kissing him. She could only imagine how much Taeyong needed to feel it. To stay grounded there and don’t let his mind wander to dark places. And she was going to give him all the reasons to stay there with her.

When her hands reached the hem of his shirt, he gasped for a second, and she stopped. “Everything alright?”

He nodded. “Just... it’s not the best view.”

She smiled fondly at him. Oh, how she could understand him, even if it was for different reasons. “That’s up to me to dictate, don’t you think so?”

He smiled and nodded before biting his lips, once again nervousness taking the best of him. Reducing the number of cigarettes was really messing him up.

She slowly moved his shirt over his head and dragged her gaze on his body. Taeyong held his breath, terrified she was going to be disgusted by it, but… “Beautiful. You’re so pretty, Yong.”

Pretty.

He liked the word pretty. It made him feel… things. It was soft, and for some reason, he associated it with pink, and he loved pink.

He loved being pretty.

Not sexy, not hot, not flexible, not handsome.

Pretty.

“Can I?” She asked, hand hovering over a cigarette burn on his left hip. He nodded, he never touched them for what was possible, but he wanted to have her everywhere. That was his body, and no matter how broken it was, he couldn’t run away from it. 

She smiled and then let her hands run over the kind of circular scar, and up, to his stomach and under his ribs where there was a small cut. Then her fingers reached his right shoulder where another cigarette scar was, she felt her heart break just imagining everything he had been through, but it didn’t matter now. He was here, safe, in her arms, and she was going to show him what love meant.

She leaned down and started kissing his skin. Every inch of it. Every scar. Every bruise. Every hand that had touched him was being kissed away by her. They didn’t matter anymore. They weren’t there.

“Jade,” he moaned, closing his eyes, relaxing under her touch.

“Yes, prince?” she asked, raising her head.

“I need you,” he whimpered. “Please.”

“Are you sure?” Jade asked again, she had to make sure he was on board. She couldn’t risk making him regret it.

“I am. I need you, need to feel loved.” Taeyong had never felt so vulnerable, so exposed to someone, but as raw as it was, it wasn’t a bad feeling.

“I’ll show you, prince,” she whispered, moving to kiss him again, and he wrapped his hands around her body, pulling her close. “I’m going to make you feel so good.”

“I know,” he replied, arching his ass up to grind on her, and she had to pull herself together again before getting lost in the moment too much. Her hands swiftly reached for his pants and pulled them down with his underwear. He was now completely naked to her eyes. And she couldn’t help but stare in awe at his body. Yes, there were scars. But he was just so beautiful, Jade felt she could stare at him forever.

“Your body is so pretty, baby. I could stare at you forever,” she praised, caressing his thighs. “God, your skin is so soft, and they’re so plump.”

Taeyong felt his heart do a small flip in his chest as he enjoyed the feeling of her fingers on his skin, higher and higher, until they wandered around the spot where he needed her the most.

He couldn’t remember when was the last time he felt like this. Probably never, since he never had somebody that loved him that much in his life.

“Can I touch you here?”

“Yes, please,” he begged, arching his back, begging for more even with his body. And he felt his breath get stuck in his throat when Jade’s hand wrapped around his dick.

“So pretty,” she cooed. Probably would never say that about a penis, but his truly was. It wasn’t the biggest she had ever seen in her life, but it was oddly aesthetic. It was surreal for her just how everything about Taeyong was delicate, pure, and pretty. “And so needy for me.”

He was. There was no point denying it anymore. “I want to see you, too,” he whined, reaching for her dress, even if in the position he was, he couldn’t take it off. His attraction for her had never been physical, she rarely showed much of her body, mostly because they met when it was still chill. But now that summer arrived, she had started to expose more of her skin, and he couldn’t deny he sometimes stopped to wonder what she looked like under all those clothes. Johnny had told him she wasn’t super confident, she had got better but wasn’t there yet, and he just wanted to see what made her so insecure.

Jade shifted on the spot to move the dress that was trapped under her knees and then took it off, revealing herself to him, the only thing covering her was the pink panties since she wasn’t wearing a bra.

And Taeyong felt his breath get stuck in his lungs when he saw her body. She was beautiful. But it was clear she didn’t want much attention on her since she immediately moved to kiss him again.

“I want to see you,” he whined, resting his hand on her waist.

“It’s nothing sensational.”

“It’s you, it is something sensational.”

She sighed and then moved back, letting him look at her body. Her eyelids closed when Taeyong’s hands started moving on her, making goosebumps show on her skin and her nipples perk up. He was so, so gentle with her. His fingers felt like a feather.

And Taeyong was in awe. Her thighs, her hips, her belly, her boobs, everything about her body was beautiful.

“Can I take them off?” He asked, fingers hooked with the elastic band of her panties.

“Yeah,” she replied. “Here, let me help.”

“You’re perfect,” he purred, looking at her fully naked figure.

“Guess we make a perfect match then,” she giggled, leaning down to kiss him again. And honestly, would’ve never stopped doing that. His kisses felt like a drug. He felt like a drug.

And when his hands finally started being more adventurous on her body, she felt her heart beat faster.

He wasn’t used to this, to the contact, the good one. Skin on skin. And he needed it so badly. He wanted to feel her close, he wanted to feel them become one. He couldn’t even care it was hot, and he felt like he could barely breathe, he didn’t care about the mess, he just wanted her.

And he didn’t even want to be desperate, but even with just her grinding against him, he felt so close. Surely it was the intimacy and vulnerability of the moment, but Taeyong felt like he could completely fall apart in her hands and be safe still.

“Jade, please,” he whimpered, squeezing his hands on her waist. “I need you, need to be in you.”

She hummed and then slowed down to grab the base of his cock as she raised her hips to line herself, but then she stopped.

“Are you okay with doing it raw? I’m on the pill and, well, you know who my partners are.” Honestly, she wasn’t even sure they had condoms in the house anymore, so she hoped he was okay with it.

“Yes, yes, I am,” he replied, nodding swiftly and bucking his hips up. “And you? Do you want me like that? Aren’t you… disgusted by…?”

Jade shook her head. “No, stop even thinking that. You’re not that person anymore. I would never be disgusted by you.”

“I’m clean, by the way, got myself checked up,” he said, he just wanted her to know. He felt like it was a miracle he never contracted anything, but at least in all that mess, something good happened.

“Stop worrying, babe,” she reassured him, kissing him again and then raising her hips to line him up at her entrance. “Just let me love you.”

Taeyong rolled his head back as soon as she sank on him, her wet walls wrapping him perfectly.

“Fuck,” he moaned, squeezing his eyes shut, enjoying the sensation.

“You feel so good,” she moaned, staying still for a second, just enjoying being full.

A light shade of red crossed his cheeks, and she couldn’t help but smile too. He really wasn’t used to genuine compliments, was he?

She started moving her hips slowly back and forth, barely lifting up from his body, and once she got he was enjoying it just as much as her, she started bouncing up and down. To steady herself, she rested her hands right above his ribs, and that made him open his eyes suddenly.

“Jade,” he said with a line of voice and for a moment she thought it was a moan, but then he said, “can you stop?”

She immediately froze and pulled off of him, “Did I do something wrong? Oh God, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

He shook his head and grabbed her wrist. “I’m fine, just, can I sit up, so we can be closer?”

“Sure,” she smiled. “But did I do something wrong?”

He shook his head as he sat against the headboard of the bed. “I guess the hand kind of triggered me. I know you’re not like them, but they used to… keep me still.”

“Do you want to thrust in me? Maybe it’ll give you more control?”

“No,” he said. “I like it like this. You’re really good,” he chuckled, looking at her with a shy smile.

“Umh, and you haven’t seen anything,” she joked, crawling back on top of him. She also liked this position better. It didn’t change much, but they were closer, and it always made her feel super comfortable.  

“Then show me,” he whispered, tracing his fingers on her waist. “I promise I won’t stop you this time.”

She smiled and then kissed him again, a longer kiss that dragged until she sank on him again. This time, Taeyong’s arms wrapped around her as she started lifting her hips up and down, her forehead met his and her arms rested on his shoulders for more support.

This definitely wasn’t something Taeyong was used to. The slow sex, the slow thrusts, her going all the way down and then moving up gently, making him feel every single thing. He wasn’t used to hands touching his skin as if he was an expensive jewel and not just some cheap piece of meat. He wasn’t used to the sweet kisses and the sinful, but harmonious, moans mixing together on each other’s lips. But he loved it. It felt so good. She felt so good.

And he felt sorry for not really doing much and just sitting back, enjoying her doing all the job, but she looked so pretty like that. Her curls falling at the sides of her neck, her boobs bouncing up and down with every move, her ass slapping back against his thighs, her face contorted in pleasure.

“You’re beautiful,” he moaned, moving a hand up to her nape, pulling her even closer.

“And you feel so fucking good, prince,” she praised, feeling the familiar knot in her stomach already. She tangled her fingers in his hair but didn’t pull, and he moaned when he felt her clench around him.

“Shit,” he whimpered, biting his lips to suppress a moan, but she brushed them with her finger, making him free his lower lip from the hold.

“Don’t hold back, your moans and whimpers are so pretty. I want to hear you.”

And Taeyong did, it was the only thing he could do for her. Be vocal and let it all out. Let her know how much he was loving it.

And his pretty sounds were what made her lose her mind. He sounded so good. She always had a weakness for men’s moans but his, God, Taeyong’s moans were just something else.

“Yes, babe, yes,” she moaned, starting to rock her hips harder and faster, their chest pushed against each other, making her whimper at the brush of her nipples against him.

And she felt the tiredness in her thighs, she wasn’t used to this, she was the one that got pampered, the one that was under, but she didn’t care now. She couldn’t. Not now that Taeyong was just so beautiful, lost in his pleasure, and kept spilling praises and nice words for her. Not when he was holding her up so gently, so tenderly.

So, she kept moving, muscles shaking every time his dick hit perfectly inside her.

“You’re perfect,” she whispered, cupping his face with a hand to pull him in a kiss. “Perfect, perfect, perfect.”

And Taeyong felt a warmth in his chest he had never felt before. He was perfect. Nobody ever considered him perfect. Nobody ever called him that during sex.

“You’re my pretty boy, aren’t you?” She cooed, caressing his cheek, trying to don’t get too lost in her pleasure. But it was harder than expected, maybe she wasn’t so good at having control, she had no idea how her other boyfriends could be so concentrated during the whole time. “My perfect, pretty prince.”

“Yes, please, please,” he moaned. “I’m yours,” he mumbled, staring at her eyes. He was hers, but not in the same way he had been somebody else’s belonging in the past. It was affectionate. It was sweet. It was love. And he felt like he couldn’t take it anymore. All those little things, small attention, words, touches, and kisses were making him lose his mind, and her clenching around him so hard surely didn’t help.

He didn’t want this moment to end, but he couldn’t resist much longer. And also, they had eternity in front of them, right? She was finally his. He didn’t have to be jealous of the other two anymore. He didn’t have to pout because he couldn’t kiss her or touch her how he wanted. He finally had her now.

“Are you close, prince? Want to come with me?”

He nodded, not able to let out any word, barely able to keep his eyes open. He wanted to look at her, he wanted this to be even more intimate, but it was so hard. 

“Then come, come with me,” she encouraged, moving a hand to play with herself and push both of them over the edge. All it took was one last bounce and a tighter squeeze around him to make him fall apart. Whimpers and curses spilled out of their lips as they rode the orgasm, forehead pressing against the other’s and hands desperately trying to hold onto each other. The orgasm washed over them and made them feel dizzy, it made them feel closer. And Taeyong had no idea how long it lasted, but it seemed never-ending, and he felt disconnected from the whole world for what felt minutes.

“God,” she whispered, finally coming down from the high, forehead still resting against his. She then chuckled lowly, and he asked what was so funny. “That was intense,” she said. “Guess I have to start letting Jae drag me to the gym for legs days, or you’ll get me killed before the year ends.”

Taeyong laughed and caressed her back. “Maybe next time I’ll do all the job.”

“No, I like this, it’s new. I’m just lazy as hell, but this is good.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. It wasn’t what she was used to doing with the others, but she felt she could get used to this. Start trying something new. Taking things slower and sweeter for once. Not that she didn’t like sex with the other, but not everyone has to be the same, right? And there was something good about having control over everything and being more in charge. And there was something beautiful about Taeyong trusting her so much to fall apart in her hands.

“I am, just give me time to train, and I’d like to see if you can keep up with me after.”

Taeyong laughed and then pulled her into a kiss. “You’re underestimating me,” he joked.

“Can’t wait to put each other on a test, then.”

He hummed lowly and kissed her again. He simply couldn’t get enough. He felt like a child excited about a toy he had been begging for ages. He had kissed people in his life, and yet, nobody felt like her.

“Thank you for before,” he said.

“For the orgasm?”

“Also,” he smiled, blushing. “But, for stopping immediately, you know, as soon as I told you.”

Jade saddened. How could he think that the bare minimum was so much? “It’s the bare minimum, babe. And I know you’re not used to it, but you should never thank somebody for respecting your limits.”

“I know, I’m trying but, still, you made me feel good,” he smiled, hands still caressing the curve of her waist. It was soft, and he loved it, he loved the soft flesh that met her hips. “Not only physically. You made me feel loved.”

She beamed at him, brushed his hair behind, and then caressed his face. “Because you are loved.”

He blushed and then blushed even harder when he realized he was still inside her. “Oh, mhh, maybe you should, you know, get up.”

Jade chuckled and then lifted her hips. “Maybe we should also go take a shower. If my legs can carry me out of the bed.”

“I’m not strong like Johnny or Jaehyun to carry you there, I’m sorry.”

“I’m kidding, I’m not that tired. Come on,” she said, jumping off the bed and reaching out to grab his hand.

They spent at least an hour inside the shower, cleaning each other, chatting, kissing, just enjoying the cold water on their skins, until they decided that it was better to go to bed.

And right there, between her arms, Taeyong was at peace, and finally sure that it was safe for him to fall.

The other four days of the week passed quickly. They called Johnny and Jaehyun every evening before going to sleep, but they still missed them like crazy.

The house felt incredibly empty without them. Especially for Taeyong who wasn’t working for the summer break. He tried to keep himself busy, already planning lessons for the new academic year, trying to study some more to always be updated, but he really hated being alone at home. It had never happened since he had moved in with them. And he didn’t want to be a burden, but he couldn’t lie about the level of anxiety he felt in his body every day Jade left to go to work.

He knew healing wasn’t linear. His therapist always reminded him that. The others always reminded him. But he couldn’t help but feel like sometimes all of this was just going to be useless.

And some days it felt like he had this terrible weight on his shoulders again. He still didn’t pay them back fully, and not only that, but they also had to add him to other bills (the electricity, the water, groceries, and everything else), and his pay went there too, but it wasn’t as close to filling all they had spent on him.

He wanted to get a new job, especially now that he had the summer free. But he wasn’t really qualified for much other than teaching and fashion. He had worked as a barista in the past, but that wasn’t a job that put him at ease. At least when he was in college, he was safe because it was the campus cafeteria, but now it was the real world. And it still felt scary.

Rationally, he knew that Jiwoo was far away. They had paid him, he promised he wasn’t going to come back, Taeyong wasn’t even worth much for him, so he surely had no reasons to come back to him but… but what if he came back? What if he was crueller than what he imagined? What if he just wanted to make him pay?

Taeyong dwelled on that much more than he liked to, and the thing that scared him the most was that his therapist told him that it was normal, that to get past the trauma he had to face it first, and that was the part that hurt the most. He had walls built up in his brain and he had to take every single brick down. But every brick was a painful memory, a harsh word, a slap, a scream, or worse.

And now he was sitting on the couch, shaking at the slightest of sounds, with all the windows closed, terrified somebody would break in, as he patiently waited for somebody to come home.

And then he heard a sound, the door rustling, and somebody trying hard to open it. He felt like passing out, but he couldn’t. He had to fight. So, he looked around, trying to see if there was something he could grab. The kitchen, a knife, the only thing that could save him from him. He was too strong, too big compared to him.

And so, trying to don’t make any sounds, he grabbed the meat knife and hid behind the door.

“There’s nobody here,” a voice said. And if he was lucid enough, he would’ve recognized it straight away, but fear had won over him and when the footsteps reached the kitchen, he jumped out holding the knife up, hands shaking, and eyes squeezed.

“Don’t come close to me,” he screamed.

“Taeyong, it’s me, it’s us.”

“I said, leave! What?” He opened his eyes slowly, finally seeing Jaehyun and Johnny on the door frame, and he let the knife fall on the floor, soon followed by his body.

He could’ve hurt them. He could’ve killed them.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I thought it was, it was him.”

Jaehyun immediately rushed to him, wrapping his arms around him, but Taeyong tried to push him away.

“I could’ve hurt you,” he cried.

“But you didn’t, it’s okay,” he reassured him, caressing his back. “Why are you alone?” They never left him alone for a reason, they knew how hard it was for him to be alone with his thoughts.

“She’s... she’s working,” he mumbled, wrapping his arms around Jaehyun’s body.

“You’re shaking,” Jaehyun noted, kissing the top of his head while rocking him from left to right slowly. “Get up, let’s go on the couch.”

“Why did you think it was him? You know he’s far away. He won’t come back in your life again,” Johnny reassured him this time, sitting next to him.

“I wasn’t expecting you this early. And she always calls me when she comes out from work, so I know when she’ll be home. And you didn’t even knock.”

“We thought there was nobody because all the windows were closed, and the door was locked,” Johnny explained. It was really hot inside the house. They had decided to don’t turn the AC on to save some money, but he couldn’t lock himself in and don’t turn it on. “Why didn’t you turn the AC on? You’re sweating.” He caressed his hair back from his forehead, trying to calm him down.

“Mo-money, I make you waste so much.”

“You don’t,” Johnny said. “Why don’t we go take a shower?”

Taeyong shook his head. He could barely stand on his legs. The adrenaline that was pumping in his veins just tired him more. 

“You can turn it on if you feel safer with the windows locked,” Jaehyun said, still caressing his back while Johnny turned the conditioner on.

Taeyong nodded, but he wasn’t really listening.

“I didn’t even ask how it went in Scotland,” he cried, snuggling back into Jaehyun’s neck. He felt so selfish at times, he just wished he had more control over everything, but he still wasn’t good at that.

“It was good,” he replied. “We missed you, though.”

“Do you want some water, Yong?” Johnny asked, but he declined it.

“I want to stay here,” he replied. He hated when he had these breakdowns. He felt like he was letting them down. After all the money they had spent on him and were still spending, he wasn’t getting any better. Yet, he needed comfort, and he could only find it in their arms.

“I missed your cuddles, you know?” Jaehyun cooed, lulling him again and caressing his back. It wasn’t a lie. He really liked cuddling with Taeyong. It often happened when Jade and Johnny wanted to spend some time together, or alone, and Taeyong searched for him. Especially when it happened at night since he couldn’t sleep alone. “Missed the scent of your shampoo,” he said, face smashed in his hair. “And even the scent of tobacco.”

“I almost quit,” Taeyong said, a small smile curling his lips. He was getting better even with that. He did it for his health and because he had to cut all the extra money.

“I know, Jade told me. I’m so proud of you.”

Taeyong felt his heart falter at his words, he wasn’t proud of himself, but he was glad somebody else was.

“I wanted to cook something, but I couldn’t find the strength to do it.”

“It’s alright, you already did so much today, didn’t you?”

Taeyong shrugged. “I just woke up and showered, then sat here all day.”

“You woke up and showered, and that’s so much,” Jaehyun said. “You can’t always have busy days.”

“But you —”

“It’s about you. Yesterday you cleaned the house, didn’t you?” He nodded. “See, today you’re a little tired, it’s fine like this.”

“Can I cuddle you some more?” He asked, lifting his head to look at him. Jaehyun had warm eyes, big and bright, and they really made him feel safe and welcomed.  

“Sure, we can stay here for as long as you want.”

“For how long have they been there?” Jade asked, looking at the two men on the couch.

“Since we arrived, around three,” Johnny answered, arms wrapped around her waist and chin resting on top of her head. Johnny had left them alone for some minutes because he needed to get changed and when he came back they were both sleeping, tangled in each other’s arms. Taeyong was obviously shaken by what happened, and Jaehyun was drained by the week he had been through. Even if it went well and they had big news to tell home.

“He had told me he was doing fine staying alone at home.”

“You can’t take days off to stay with him, Jade. And you know that he didn’t have bad intentions, he’s really trying to get better. Maybe he thought he could last for five days.”

“I know, but he shouldn’t push himself. He won’t heal faster like this.”

“You know he’s headstrong,” Johnny said. “Reminds me of you.”

Jade rolled her eyes, but Johnny wasn’t so wrong. She had done the same in the past, but her recovery was less delicate than his, and she didn’t want him to get more hurt.

“Should we cook something for them?” Johnny proposed.

“Yeah, why not.”

They locked themselves in the kitchen but did everything but cook. It was useless denying it, spending time apart made their hormones go crazy as soon as they got back together. Also, even when he was here, they didn’t do much because Taeyong would rarely leave her side. So, it wasn’t surprising that they were kissing each other while Johnny pressed her body against the kitchen top, hands roaming on their bodies hungry for more.

“God, I missed you so fucking much, angel,” Johnny moaned against her lips while his hand moved down between her legs.

“I want to suck your dick,” she said with no shame, working to pull his shorts down.

“Damn, like this? No hesitation?”

She rolled her eyes. “No, daddy,” she teased, running her tongue on her lower lip.

“If you don’t stop,” he warned.

“What are you going to do? Shut my mouth?”

“Fuck you till you’re a complete mess? Does it sound good to you? Your make-up is so pretty, it would be such a waste to ruin it and even wake them up when they’re so peaceful.”

She smirked and then fell on her knees. “Sounds like a good thing to me, not a threat.”

Johnny snickered, rolling his head back, before looking back at her that was already pumping his hardening cock.

“I wanted to fuck you.”

She huffed again. “Let me do what I want, please.”

“Fine, but I’m not coming in your mouth.”

She winked. “We’ll see if you can control yourself.”

Johnny couldn’t control himself. He blamed the fact it had been months since she went down on him, but Jade kept bragging and teasing him, even now that he was pounding into her from behind.

“Keep quiet, or we’ll wake them up,” Johnny reminded her again, moving his hand to wrap it around her mouth.

She hummed something he couldn’t comprehend and rolled her head back, enjoying the sensation of Johnny’s thrusts. She couldn’t remember when it had been the last time he took her like that. The last time it felt spicier and like a little secret. Maybe she was a little bit of an exhibitionist, enjoyed the idea of being possibly caught more than she wanted to convince herself, because the chance of being caught right now made her pussy clench harder around him and her heart beat in excitement. 

“Fuck,” Johnny moaned, digging his nails into her waist. “We don’t fuck you enough, how can you be so needy and wet and tight, God.”

She smirked and started bouncing back against him, moving her ass, making him go crazy even more.

“Can you stop being such a tease?” He whispered against her ear, moving his hand to let her talk.

She chuckled. “Not when it’s what I do best.”

He rolled his eyes and then wrapped an arm around her upper body, right above her boobs, and pulled her behind, making his chest and her back touch. “Let’s see what you’ll do now,” he teased before starting to thrust harder in and out of her, the new position trapping her and not making her move.

She let out a louder moan when he reached deeper into her, and Johnny immediately wrapped a hand around her neck, squeezing just enough to keep her quiet. “Don’t you dare wake them up,” he warned, and she nodded, biting her lips and desperately trying to hold the whimpers in.

“Good girl,” he praised, making her clench around him. “That’s my fucking good girl.”

She felt her head spin around at his words and his precise strokes, she was so close.

“Da-daddy, please, I’m — fuck — close,” she slurred, feeling the familiar knot in her stomach and the muscles of her thighs shake.

“Me too, baby girl,” he moaned lowly, holding her closer. “Come, come on my cock, angel,” he ordered, moving a hand between her legs to play with her clit, and the slight touch was the last drop that send her over the edge. She came, clenching hard around his throbbing cock, and her walls spasming around him were what he needed to come. They stayed there for some moments, trying to calm their breaths, and then Johnny pulled out of her after leaving a few kisses on her neck.

“You were so good,” Johnny praised her as he helped her fix her shorts up and then did the same with his. 

Their lips met in another kiss but before the moment could get heated again they pulled apart. 

She turned around and, still leaning against the top, chuckled when she glanced at the clock.

“Take out?”

“I have big news to tell you,” Jaehyun exclaimed while they were all halfway done with their pizza. He wanted to say it before but decided to wait when they were all calm and together, and they had just finished sharing the most exciting things that happened during the work trip, well, leaving the most exciting for last.

“Really? What is that?” Jade asked.

“Guess who has been selected to go to New York and Seoul fashion week for Prada?”

Jade’s eyes widened as she stared at him in disbelief. “Are you kidding?” She screamed, almost throwing her pizza box on the floor to launch herself in Jaehyun’s arms. He smiled at her while she hugged him tightly, barely making him breathe. “That’s what you always wanted. How did it happen?”

“We might thank Johnny’s friends. We went out for dinner on the first day and, well, met some people, and then they reached my agency to ask for my other works and said that my face was wasted to don’t be the face of a big brand.”

“And they’re fucking right. God, you deserve to be on every billboard on this earth,” she exclaimed, making him laugh. She had always been extremely supportive of him, probably the first one with Johnny who truly supported him in his career change of paths and knew how much he wanted to make a big step in his career.

“That means you’ll have to leave again?” Taeyong asked, trying to hide the sadness in his voice. He was truly happy for him, but not having him around kind of sucked. Not being in four sucked; the house was almost never empty, but it still wasn’t the same when one was out.

“Well, yes, but it’s just one week. One’s in September and the other is in October, but if everything goes well, this could be such a big change for all of us. Do you have any idea of what it would mean to get bigger and better exposure? No more delayed pays, no more cheap pays, and shootings that are actually fun.”

“Yeah, but this is a big win for you, don’t make it about us,” Johnny reminded him. He got that with that also came a lot of money and future changes. But it was something he always wanted to do. It was his win, his moment.

“I know, but I could take you with me, we could visit many cities. And we could finally get a bigger house, we could finally breathe, stop worrying about making it at the end of the month. I would stop feeling so useless when I don’t get jobs for three weeks or just one that is going to pay me after a month.”

“Okay, but just have fun. Also, if they booked you for October it means they are excited to have you,” Jade said.

“I guess so, my manager said that this is already a secured shot. They want to bet on me, so let’s hope for the best.”

“I would’ve bet on you a long time ago, but they’re stupid.”

“Jade,” Johnny scolded her, rolling his eyes.

“It’s true, they’ve been sleeping on him. He’s also funny and kind, most of the models are just assholes.”

“Are you ready to see fans going crazy about him? Tweeting all day about how badly they’d love to be in his bed?” Taeyong teased.

Jade turned around to face him so fast she almost broke her neck. “Now, take that back,” she threatened, pointing at Taeyong who was laughing.

“You know I’m right. It’s hard not to thirst on his handsome face.”

She pouted, crossing her arms on her chest, but she knew it was true. He already had a fair number of followers, but he wasn’t very well-known. More fame meant more money but also more fans, and more fans meant more people falling for him, and more people wanting to be somebody in his life. And that also meant for them to be even more careful about their relationship.

“You share me with two people you can’t be mad at some strangers on the internet,” Jaehyun said, not even realizing he had said two and not one. Taeyong’s cheeks flushed a bright red at that. It was nice being included even if he still had no idea who he was for the two men.

“I know, but they’ll think you’re single, and then I’ll have to go under your pictures and read their comments.”

“So, you have a little bit of jealousy inside you,” he teased, tickling her.

“Oh, shut up,” she whined. “Let’s not go too far with fan service, though.”

“Fine, no fan service. I mean, I believe it is better like this, let’s not give hope to people who don’t have it, right?”

“Yes, that’s better,” she agreed, kissing him.

“Now, can we finish the pizza? I’m starving.”

“Sure,” she said, jumping off of him. “Actually,” she added, going back to her place. “We also have something to tell you.” She looked over at Taeyong, waiting for him to nod and let her know he was still sure.

“Really? What is that?” Johnny asked, a small smirk creeping on his face, already imagining what it was about. 

“Well, we are, we are dating,” she confessed.

“No,” Johnny gasped, pretending to be shocked. “Don’t tell me, I could never believe it,” he rolled his eyes. “Finally opened your eyes?”

Taeyong looked at him in confusion. “You knew?”

Johnny beamed at him. “It was clear in everybody’s eyes that you had a big ass crush on her, babe.”

“Was it?” He asked, turning to Jaehyun who was smiling and nodding while eating a slice.

“Yep,” he mumbled and then swallowed the bite. “We were just expecting for you to make the big step.”

“And… aren’t you mad?” He asked Johnny, surprise written all over his face.

He shook his head. “Why would I?”

“Because you loved me first, you brought me here, you... loved me for so long and I don’t know what I feel for you, yet.”

“You care about me, and trust me, that’s enough. I saw it coming that this was going to happen. There’s a reason if you found each other first. You needed each other.”

“Hey, can I sleep with Johnny tonight?”

Jade turned around. “Feeling guilty?” She joked, walking to Taeyong to ruffle his hair, and he chuckled.

“I miss him and figured I could leave you some time with Jaehyun. I had him for the whole afternoon.”

She laughed, “Yes, sure. Do you want to sleep here with him?”

He smiled. “If it’s fine for you, yes. I’ll ask him to come here.”

“Yeah, it’s fine. Goodnight, prince,” she greeted, kissing him on the lips before grabbing her things for the night and walking out of the room.

Once she was ready for the night, she walked to Jaehyun’s room, knocking on the door before opening it a little to peek inside.

“Jae?” She called and saw him laying on the bed, scrolling through his phone. “Were you about to go to bed?”

He raised his head and then patted the empty spot next to him. “No, come here.” She walked in, closed the door behind, and then sat next to him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “Actually, I’m not tired at all,” he whispered against her neck, placing the phone on the bedside table. “Maybe we could have some fun before people on the internet will start to want to take your place.”

“You want to get on my nerves, don’t you?” She joked, slapping his arm.

Jaehyun chuckled. “No, but I like it when you get a little mad. Remember how good our hate fucks used to be?”

She rolled her eyes and rolled on top of him. “Oh, if you want to do it rough, you don’t have to come up with excuses,” she teased, nibbling his neck.

“And you don’t have to be a vampire.”

“I should mark you, so everybody knows you’re taken.”

“You’ll get so much hate from my makeup artist, love.”

“I don’t care. They’re extremely good at hiding the love bites.”

“I’ll let them know that the number one reason for their curses would like to compliment them.”

“They’re not even that bad, I’m good. I only sometimes leave some on your chest. Do they look at your chest?”

“Mh, and even other places,” he teased, flipping their position with a swift, unexpected movement, making her yelp and laugh.

“Don’t do that, you scared me.”

“Oh, sure, as if you don’t love being turned and tossed around.”

“Can you just stop talking and fuck me already?”

“God, one week without us, and that’s the result?”

“It’s not a week, you know I haven’t done anything with you in ages. Well, I might’ve fucked Johnny before.”

Jaehyun widened his eyes. “Really?”

“And Taeyong like four days ago.”

“You do that?”

“It happened. It was really special. But I had to ride him, and I was exhausted when I was done. So for your happiness, I guess I’ll start coming to the gym with you.”

“Or I could train you at home,” he teased, lifting her nightgown over her head, exposing her body. 

“And how?”

“Making you ride me over and over again.”

“That’s not fair,” she pouted.

“Oh, I bet it is. You actually look super pretty when you’re concentrated trying hard to do all the job, desperately bouncing on our cocks because you need to feel more. Your pretty tits bouncing, your ass too, your thighs shaking because you know you can’t take it.”

She moaned, and that was his getaway to know that she wasn’t going to talk back much more.

“You like that, don’t you? Maybe I should start tonight.”

“No, sir, please.”

He smirked, moving her panties down her legs and then getting rid of his clothes too.

“Please, what? You don’t like that? But my dick fills you up so well in that position.” His fingers reached her clit and started moving in circles, making her close her legs, but he swiftly pulled them apart again and then let a finger slip past her wet walls.

“Not answering? I think your pretty pussy’s excited enough,” he mocked before pulling out from her and laying on the bed. “C’mon, love, get on top of me.”

She whined but at his stern glare, she immediately moved to straddle him.

“Show me how good you are,” he ordered, resting his hands on her thighs.

“You’re not helping me?”

He shook his head and signalled her to go on. And she did, she sank on his dick and started moving shallowly. Hips grinding against him, head thrown back in pleasure as she cupped her boobs.

“Look at you, so fucking perfect,” he praised, thinking she wanted some more encouragement to start moving. But even when she started bouncing up and down, her moves were so slow.

“Is this all you can do?” He teased. “Is this how you pleasured Taeyong?”

She shook her head, and started moving just a little bit faster, but not enough to give him what he wanted. She knew her plan was going to work soon.

“I said ride me, not rub against me. Fuck yourself on top of me,” he ordered, cupping her chin to force her to look at him. She nodded, putting on her façade of innocence, and started riding him faster but messily. She went on like this for a while until she stopped.

“I can’t, I’m tired,” she lamented, collapsing flat on his body.

“Did I say you could stop?”

“No, but –” her words died in her mouth when Jaehyun started thrusting up back into her, making her roll her eyes and moan loudly.

“No, but, what? Think you can disobey me?”

She shook her head and tried to stand up, but every stroke made her launch forward. He was hammering back up into her with no mercy, just like she wanted.

“Fuck, ‘s good.”

“Yeah, of course, ‘s good, that’s what you wanted, to be fucked, hard and rough.”

“Yes,” she moaned, gripping the sheets under him, and then Jaehyun flipped them over again. If he had to do all the job, he was going to do it how he liked it.

He grabbed her ankles and placed them on his shoulder, making her whimper before he started thrusting into her mercilessly.

Her eyes spread open as she gasped, “shit, too much.”

He scoffed. “Now’s too much? Such a big girl and then you can’t take my dick?”

“No, I can — fuck — I can.” She closed her eyes and felt her toes curl as he hit inside her exactly how she wanted, exactly where she wanted.

“Then take it and stop whining,” he groaned, slapping her ass, making her clench hard around him. “This was exactly what you wanted, riding me so lazily just to get on my fucking nerves.”

“No,” she whimpered, going on with her little play. She missed messing with him. He was dominant in bed, but at the same time so easy to play around and rile up over the smallest things. 

“Don’t fucking lie to me,” he warned. “And don’t smirk like that,” he groaned before leaning down to pin her wrists on top of her head. “Don’t tease me more.”

“Sir, please.”

Jaehyun scoffed, shaking his head. “Begging? You want to come already?”

“Please.”

He shook his head. “That’s because you let Johnny fuck you. I thought you could take more than one orgasm, how’s that too much?”

“You’re just so good,” she cooed with a pout, arching her back up at him.

“Don’t do this. I know you. I know the games you play.”

“Mhh, please, I can come another time.”

“No,” he replied in a stern voice. “You’re coming with me, when I say so. You decided you didn’t want to be in control before, and now you take the consequences.”

She whined but then gave up and decided she was going to hold it in.

“Good,” he moaned lowly, lowering his head to trap her lips in a messy kiss as he pushed her legs even flatter against her chest, reaching deeper inside her.

“Fuck,” she hummed, rolling her head back and arching her ass again, feeling impossible to hold back.

“Taking me so fucking well as always,” he praised, moving his head down to leave small bites on the skin of her collarbones and boobs. “Love being stretched, love feeling full, don’t you?”

“Yes, sir, yes — shit,” she mewled, trying to keep her voice low and control her body from coming right there at the moment.

“God, you’re so wet,” he groaned. “How badly you wanted this?”

She opened her eyes and met his gaze; he was intensely staring at her, and she felt her heart skip a beat. She gulped and then replied, “so much, I want you so — so badly, please.”

“You’re so pretty when you beg and squirm under me,” he praised, kissing her again. “Beg some more, babe.”

“Sir, please, please let me come,” she whined, struggling to try to touch him, but he had no intention of loosening the hold on her wrist.

“You’re not going anywhere, love. Stay right here and beg,” he ordered, voice low and deep. “And if your pleas are pretty enough, I might make you come.”

She almost groaned, throwing her head back and closing her eyes again, but a quick squeeze around her wrists made her open them again for a second.

“Look at me while you beg,” he smirked, “that’s the fun of it.”

She wanted to roll her eyes but knew better than to do that, so she simply tried to keep them open and then started begging over and over again between curses and moans that never stopped coming out of her mouth.

“Good girl, my fucking good girl,” he praised. “Come with me since you want it that badly and you’re asking so nicely.”

She finally relaxed, and with a few more thrusts she let go, eyes rolling back, mouth hanging open and chest panting heavily as Jaehyun kept pounding into her, sending her straight to heaven for how strong that orgasm felt.

“Fuck, that was so good,” he groaned, resting his forehead on hers and trying to steady his breath when they were both done riding the orgasm. “Are you okay?” He asked, freeing her wrist and caressing her face.

She nodded, before wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him down into a kiss.

“Maybe next time you could just ask if you wanted it rough,” he joked, starting to pull out of her and then grabbing his shirt to place it under her, so the cum wouldn’t have dripped on the sheets.

A giggle escaped her lips. “It’s so much fun like this, watching you getting worked up.”

“And then you have the courage to lie when I call you a tease.” He got up from the bed, stretching his back, and then handed her his hand. “Shower? I mean, it’s not a question, you’re not sleeping in my bed in this condition.”

“You’re so cruel,” she whined before taking his hand and standing up on wobbly legs.

“That’s life, love.”

“Can we at least eat something once we’re done? I’m hungry.”

“Again? We just had dinner.”

“But I’m hungry.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. “You’re like a child sometimes, but I’ll see what I can cook. Now let’s take a quick shower.”

She jumped on the spot, left a small kiss on his lips and then walked to the bathroom before him.  

“So, your legs don’t hurt when you want to.”

When the leaves turned all shades of red, yellow, and orange, things were going incredibly well in their lives.

Jaehyun started to believe that Taeyong’s flowers had been miraculous because they brought prosperity to their place. Talking about him, his face was everywhere. Prada decided they couldn’t wait till the fashion week to have him as one of their faces, and as soon as he started working with them, the proposals were overloading. Saying that he was busy wasn’t enough. He couldn’t even remember when it had been the last time he had a day off. And now that he had just come home from the New York Fashion Week, things were going even better. Shootings, commercials, sponsors, cosmetic campaigns, and rumours had it, he was soon going to appear on a TV show.

Jade had finally fired herself from that shitty agency and started working on her own again. She had the chance to work with some of her old clients and new people, some of them even pretty important. But mostly, she was free to do what she wanted and take care of some minor personal projects too.

Johnny was the one who always had it better, also considering he had started before everybody else, but now everybody died to be shot by the same photographer that took so many photos of the famous Jeong Jaehyun —and that was the only thing they knew. But still, it was something good. And if everything went as planned, he was going to open his own studio sooner than expected.

And Taeyong, well, Taeyong was doing better than he ever did. School had started again, and he felt a new type of confidence in his bones that also reflected on his students who now enjoyed studying even more. Therapy was going well and so was his healing process. There were still ups and downs, but he came to terms that it was always going to be like this. Healing isn’t an arrival point, but a process that lasts the whole life, and he was fine with it. 

He had found out that dating wasn’t a suffocating experience, scary and dark. And even the most broken like him could get nice things from life.

He felt confident in his body for the first time in his life. Mostly thanks to Jade who never stopped kissing his insecurities away and praising him on any given occasion. She loved him like he was brand new, never been used, never been scarred. Like a perfectly shaped jewel just created.

And he also realized that it was possible to fall for more than one person. He had no idea why accepting his feelings was so hard when it came to Johnny. Falling for him felt different from when he fell for Jade.

Jaehyun had told him that it was normal. That it had been different for him, too. Because every person is different, and therefore so will be the way we fall and love them. But he couldn’t get it much.

He still had this bad habit of rationalizing his emotions instead of feeling them. And probably that was the reason why what he felt with Johnny felt so strange… instead of feeling it, he was trying to understand it. But love is not rational, you can’t explain it.

“I never thanked you enough,” Taeyong said to Johnny while they were cuddling on the sofa. They weren’t alone at home, but Jade was locked in her room working, and Jaehyun was sleeping, he had left the house early in the morning for the shooting of a commercial and came back just later in the afternoon.

“For what?”

“For falling for me.”

Johnny furrowed, stopping for a second to caress his hair. “And why would you thank me for that?”

“Because if you didn’t love me, if you didn’t kiss me… I wouldn’t be here today.”

Johnny smiled fondly at him and then pulled him closer. Taeyong always felt so small between his arms —well, because he was— but unlike all the other men who made him feel like this, this time it was a good sensation. He didn’t feel inferior but protected and loved.

“I didn’t have much choice, you really just took my breath and heart away.”

Taeyong chuckled, “Yeah, I think you did that too,” he confessed, and Johnny stared at him in confusion. “I know it took me ages, but I wanted to be sure, I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Hurt me?”

The younger nodded. “Yeah, I made so many mistakes in my life when it came to feelings, I didn’t want to do it again. Let you down after raising your hopes up.”

“You never let me down, and you will never, babe.”

“I would’ve if I told you I loved you, and then it wasn’t true.”

“But you never told me.”

“Yeah, but now I know.”

“Know what?”

“God, and then me and Jade were the dumb ones,” Taeyong whined. “That I love you, idiot. I love you so much, and I never imagined it was possible to love two people at once, but here I am. I don’t want to fight it anymore. I want to be your boyfriend,” he confessed, taking his hands in his. “Well, if you still want me.”

Johnny felt his heart beat ten times faster than normal. “Are you crazy? Of course, I still want you! I never stopped loving you, I simply respected your boundaries and your feelings.”

“So… do you want to be my boyfriend?” He asked, feeling his cheeks heat up as he stared at Johnny who was smiling brightly at him.

“Yes, I want to be your boyfriend, Lee Taeyong.”

And now that the winter was approaching again, Taeyong didn’t feel so much cold in his bones. He knew that winter was never going to be this harsh ever again. He now knew his value. He wasn’t the things that scarred him, the things he hated, the things that kept him up at night. He was defined by the things he loved. He was defined by all the little things that made him who he was. He was defined by love.

And now that he was sitting on the couch, laughing with the people he loved the most in the world and loved him back, he knew the darkness that enveloped him for more than twenty years of his life was far gone. There was just the bright sun now, with some clouds occasionally, and rain, storms even, but he knew the sun was always going to come back in his sky.

Eight months ago, Taeyong was sitting alone in his empty house full of ghosts and skeletons. And he would’ve never imagined finding himself here, in a new home, with a girlfriend, a boyfriend, and another boy who messed up with his heart. 

Eight months ago, Taeyong would’ve never imagined how far he could’ve come. How the past would’ve started to hurt less and less. Eight months ago, Taeyong believed that, in his life, there was no place for love, and if there was, it was going to be a kind of love that made him bleed more than fly. Eight months ago, Taeyong would’ve never believed that the only way to take a step into the future was to face the past and let it go little by little.

Eight months ago, Taeyong wasn’t even sure he was going to make it to November. Yet, here he was. Stronger than he had ever been. More loved than he had ever been. Happier than he had ever been.

Taeyong had finally become like his favourite flowers. Taeyong was a strong daffodil that managed to bloom under the thick layer of snow. And now he knew that the only way he was going to face was the bright sun, letting daylight peek through clouds, always reminding himself that no matter how dark his life could get, the sun would’ve always come out if he had love around him.

Taeyong knew that nothing, no winter, no snow, and no cold, was going to take his happiness away from him and burn them down. 

[markofjaehyun]

NCT MASTERLIST

Poly Series

1 - Johntae

2 - Jaedong

3 - Markyong

4 - Johnjae

5 - Johnwoo

6 - Yutae

7 - Lumark

8 - Jaemark

9 - YuJohnJae

10 - Markhyuck

11 - JohnJaeYong

12 - The Foreign Swaggers (JohnJaeMark)

13 - Johncas

14 - Henji

Specials

Yuta x Irene

Chenle x Chanyeol

Dating Series

Mark / Yuta / Johnny / Hendery

Timestamps

[1:54am] - Boyfriend!Hendery (Fluff)

[12:35pm] - Boyfriend!Chenle (Fluff)

[2:23am] - Boyfriend!Yuta (Angst)

As a ___ Series

Taeyong as a dad

Scenarios

Troublemaker (Yuta Idol!Au)

Puppy Love (Taeyong fluff)

FWB (Yuta angst)

Networks

@czennienet

@nct-writers

@neowritingsnet

[tokyongz-blog]

johnjaeyong icons!

[freakynct]

everyone wants a johnjaemark but I need me a johnjaeyong 😔

yall are trying to kill me with this trios, i get exhausted just from thinking about what that would be like and let me tell you, you're also brave for wanting to have sex with 3 powerful men at once!

[tyongf-nct]

♡  tyongf-nct masterlist  ♡

all requests/asks/anons* are tagged, you can search for those on my page, they will not be linked here :)

key: “💋” = smut, “☁” = fluff, “💄” = suggestive

*I reserve the right to delete any asks that I do not want to write! That will not happen often but this is a disclaimer

<— back to main masterlist

NCT 127 💚

Taeil

5:09 p.m. ☁️💄

Johnny

8:19 p.m. 💋

johnny x reader feat. 127 members 💋

holiday smut prompt 💋

Taeyong

12:13 a.m. 💋

use me (after a little negotiation, of course) sub!taeyong smut blurb 💋

Yuta

6:23 p.m. 💋

Doyoung

10:52 p.m. 💋

begging for it - sub!doyoung 💋

college au headcanon ☁️

Mark

1:57 a.m. 💋

tongue in the game for me it’s all buffet 💋

Haechan

10:26 p.m. 💋

tease{one shot}teaser 💋

tease{one shot}full fic 💋

Jaehyun

accidental fate {mini fic} teaser ☁

accidental fate{mini fic}part 1 ☁

accidental fate{mini fic}part 2 ☁

it’s never enough until it’s too much {smut blurb - solo!jaehyun} 💋

Jungwoo

6:52 a.m. 💋

Other:

multiple partners

johnjaeyong foursome 💋

markhyuck x reader threesome 💋

all members

cute headcanons ☁️ how nct 127 members sound in bed {all members} 💋

[jaeyongf]

⭐ because you're easily one of the kindest people on the internet! And Ill be damned if I one day complain about having johnjaeyong flooding my dash 😍

Please you are so much kinder than me!!! I love you so so much I can’t put into words 🥺❤️ hahaha, honestly I think I’ll be whipped for those 3 for a long time 😂

Send me a ⭐️ if I’m one of your favourite mutuals and why

[editsty]

— Like or reblog if you save

[byebyemyblues]

JOHNJAEYONG PHOTO TIME