#jokes on all the parents mercy has a big fat crush on the middle school art teacher

[spookyvalentine]

mass effect au: sports coach

During the nightmare on Akuze, N7 Mercy Shepard hears of a name--Cerberus. In the aftermath, Shepard joins Alliance Intelligence to lead the hunt for the terrorist group. Lately, children have been going missing from certain schools across the Citadel. Their next mission? Placed undercover at Presidium Academy as the new middle school coach

Nihlus, the high school coach, has never seen such a consistent turnout of parents to not just the games, but the practices too

ART BY ‼️🔥 @naarisz 🔥‼️

canon, crime lord, white collar

fic under the cut!

When James makes it to the park to meet his commander, someone has beaten him.

“I hope to see you around more, coach,” says a quarian that he is nearly very certain is Admiral Shala’Raan. He’d never forget that throaty voice.

“Please,” Mercy says, dimpling. “The kids call me coach. I’m just Mercy to you.” 

“Mercy,” she purrs, it’s insane, really. She gives James lingering once-over as well. “I see someone wants your attention.”

It feels nice, how much they perk up when they notice him.

“James!” They greet, and sling an arm around his shoulders. It takes a lot to make him feel short, and Mercy does it easily and comfortably. “This is James. He’s the coach at Citadel Institute.”

Shala’Raan nods at him, and turns back to Shepard. “I look forward to Tali’s next game.”

“See you then, Admiral,” they reply with a smile.

“Bro, are you serious,” James hisses, uncertain if he’s about to shake his commander like a ramen seasoning packet, or continue gaping after the outrageous set of hips on the quarian aunty swaying off the sports field.

“You should come to one of my practices sometime,” Mercy laughs. “I think there are more parents than kids.”

James believes it, oh boy does he believe it, as Mercy stands in front of him gleaming like a shiny trophy under the floodlights. Being out in the artificial sun has darkened their skin and the freckles have multiplied. They’ve been growing their hair out for this role—brightening into a surfer blonde, and waving thickly to their shoulders.

He’s not even going to comment on their silky little shorts.

“I’ve got my own practices, remember?” James says. “But let’s switch schools, hey? You’ve got the one with all the hot parents.”

Mercy opens their mouth to respond, when James notices Dr. Solus and Dr. Chakwas escorting Jack.

They dart from his side, and runs for her. 

With a holler, they slide to their knees in time for Jack to fling her arms around their neck for a hug.

The two clutch at each other, and Jack looks incredibly tiny in Mercy’s big hands. 

Abruptly Mercy stands, bringing Jack with them. They hold her out by the armpits, with their long arms fully extended to beam up at her, like some Lion King shit—and then swings her around. 

Jack shrieks with delight. 

Some pebbles and bugs rise from the grass in little blue bubbles. 

Mercy guides her into some simple stretches as Jack babbles about her week with the doctors. They correct her form easily, and well, it’s a lot to see such a big body be so flexible. 

He watches as Mercy leads Jack into running a lap together, admiring his commander’s easy loping athleticism. Jack laughs, giggling and tripping a little when they hoot out with joy and starts running circles around her with the ball.

Every time Jack laughs, it’s like a sip of good, cold beer with a fat slice of lime after a hard workout. The first time they finally got that kid to warm up and crack a smile, was also the first time James saw his commander cry.

The pair passes the ball between each other, Jack copying Mercy’s increasingly elaborate tricks sometimes so seriously she locks up rather than be loose—but she’s improved a lot since that last time James saw the kid. 

“Shepard would do well in this career,” Dr. Solus says, as they watch Mercy divebomb Jack with a shout and scoop her up. “If chose to retire from intelligence. Is very good with children.”

And his commander does look right, as they jog up to James and the doctors with Jack sitting on their shoulders. Their hands wrap around the kid’s chubby shins entirely. 

“Time for nachos, yes?” Dr. Solus says, and briskly taps his fingers together 

“Nachos, nachos!” Jack chants, Mercy quickly joining in and bouncing.  

“That can’t be the only thing for dinner,” Dr. Chakwas says, smiling too much to pull off stern. “What else?”

“Mangonadas!” Jack hollers, grabbing fistfuls of Mercy’s hair, which they gamely accept with a wince. 

“Tamales!” She leans down and shouts into their ear. 

His commander has turned down their hearing aid in time, judging by their serene expression. 

“Which ones, mija,” James asks. Is this paternal pride? He would lay the world down at this kid’s feet. “¿Cuáles quieres?”

“De rajas,” Jack says with relish, nailing the accent. “Con queso.”

“I like the ones with raisins,” Mercy hums.

“We’ll get those too,” Jack reassures them, patting their cheeks with her little hands.