#jonicles 29

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The Jonicles - Entry 29

It is currently the 31st of October, 2022 at 4:51 am, the morning of a very spooktacular day: Halloween!! You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this day even though they always have school on this day for some... stupid reason... That's like having school on your birthday... But now is not the time to be gloomy! Tonight is the night of binging scary movies, playing your favourite horror games and making yourself sick from eating too much junk food all night! Today also marks the #165th day of my Jon Arbuckle hyperfixation!!

You know, Garfield isn't a stranger to celebrating holidays at all. He celebrates Christmas, New Years, his birthday, Thanksgiving because he's weird and lives in America, and finally the spooky day itself, Halloween. When they were making the cartoons back in the 80s, they made these holiday specials - around three to be exact - and the Halloween one was the one I watched the most as a child!

I remember sitting down on the floor in front of the TV at my old house when I would have been around five or younger, and the Garfield Halloween special would be playing. It's nostalgic to think back to that special and remembering Garfield having a musical number about deciding what to dress up as, going out into the night with Odie, finding that spooky old house and being told of the story of these ghost pirates from the weird old guy living in the house. The ghost pirates were definitely the one thing that stuck out to me the most.

The old man in the house tells the story of these pirates that once plundered the seas looking for treasure, but as they found their riches, they had to bury it for their doom would soon come iiii'm not actually too sure what happened to them... But they swore that come 100 years on that very Halloween night where Garfield and Odie stood, they would return to claim their riches as ghastly spirits right at midnight. A ghostly ship that rippled in the wind soon came sailing across the water towards the house, promptly scaring our two heros shitless in the process. They were horrific, undeadly, spooky and they wanted their treasure. They chased Garfield and Odie away, leaving them to fend for themselves, desperate to get back home...

The special also had plenty of other memorable bits (at least to me anyway), like our favourite boy Jon looking absolutely bored out of his mind scooping pumpkin guts out from a carved Jack-O-Lantern and being startled so hard by what he thought was a ghost that the carved fruit (is it a fruit? it has seeds...) landed right on the lad's head. There was also the aforementioned song number about Garfield deciding who he'd dress up as for Halloween, eventually coming to the conclusion that him and Odie would be pirates! It's funny because as a child, I used to have this plush Garfield who was dressed up like a little pirate. Actually, it was my dad's, but the little thing was fun to play with. I don't know where the guy went, we moved houses years ago and he seemed to disappear. He was most likely donated but I miss him...

A-Anyway, the two both go plundering out i to the night as two pirates, Garfy baby being the captain and Odie as his crewmate. They have this smooth jazzy number about how Garfield isn't a scardey cat, he's all good, nothing to eb afraid of! ...Before promptly being scared by everyone's spooky costumes when they realise some of them aren't who they appear to be before they find a boat and row to the house. At the end of the special, when they've been scared shitless by the ghost pirates and collected their goods, Garfield has a tough choice to make. He's got two bags of lollies (because that's what we call candy here in Australia), and he's gotta decide: Does he keep them for himself, or pass one on to his old buddy Odie? Garfield made it clear at the beginning of the special that he'd use Odie to get two times as much lollies (or candy) and keep it all to himself, but... Ultimately, with Odie being his bestie, his bro and saving him back at that ghost pirate blunder, he decides to give Odie his share of lollies and goes to sleep for the night... Not before seeing that creepy old guy wearing his pirate hat on TV!

There's other pieces of Halloween media related to Garfield too, but most likely, you already know about these ones. Back in the 80s, Jim Davis created a series of strips for Halloween where Garfield wakes up to find his home completely abandoned and boarded up. As he ventures deeper into his home, he finds out that he's just been here for years and his beloved Jon and Odie have been long gone. Unable to face the truth of the inevitability of time and probably slowly starving to death, Garfield realises he's only one weapon: Denial. Jon and Odie soon phase back into existense and Garfield meets the both of them with an embrace, revealing Jon and Odie to merely be a figment of Garfield's warped imagination. This comic is freaky, it makes such a scary concept - the inevitability of time and death - even scarier by having Garfield be trapped in a reality where he doesn't exist and be in complete denial. It's both relatable and depressing. Time is such a horrifying thing and you don't realise how much you care about something or someone until they're gone because of time. That's already powerful in itself, but I think the last panel has the most punch. It reads:

"An imagination can be a powerful tool. It can tint memories of the present, or paint a future so vivid that it can entice... Or terrify, all depending upon how we conduct ourselves today."

There's also the Garfield's Scary Scavenger Hunt games, which I may make a separate entry about! I never played those as a child, but I remember hearing about them through learning about Lyman's disappearance. There was a long gap where I didn't read much Garfield between when I was a kid and when my Jon fixation started, so I never really played Scary Scavenger Hunt when I was little despite having played a bunch of flash games. But, it's still a great spooky duo of games that definitely is worth a mention!

So, with all that said, have a Happy Halloween, folks! Lets hope your day is scary and spooky and full of treats and surprises! And for those who don't celebrate Halloween, have yourselves a great day regardless! If you don't mind, I'm off to watch a bunch of spooky stuff, rewatch the Garfield special and play Luigi's Mansion for the day... As long as I don't have any school, that is...

Last edited at 5:46 am. Happy Spooky Month!!

Cheers,

Your Local Jonnoissuer

Posted on the 31st of October, 2022 at 5:50.

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The Jonicles - Entry 19

image above drawn by me using a really cool technique i learned on tumblr!! (the reason it says 30 is because jon is 29 in the strip and i wanted to reference that)

It is currently the 28th of July, 2022 at 7:19 am! This date is a very special one all revolving around a very special boy - It's Jon's birthday! You have no idea how long I've been waiting to celebrate the birthday of this beautiful man! It is also officially day #70 of my Jon Arbuckle hyperfixation (and 7 is a lucky number!), making Jon's birthday extra special as it lands on a great milestone this year!

You know, I've been waiting to write this entry for so long, I know who I'm going to write about and I know that what I'm going to write has to to with the special significance Jon has, but I never knew ehat to actually write on the notes these are written on. But Jon, O Jon…

Jon has really been there throughout almost my entire life whether I have realised it or not. When I was merely a small tiny child sitting on the floor watching Garfield And Friends, his smiling face was there onscreen for 4 year old me to enjoy. When I was still just a young boy sitting in my room reading my dad's Garfield strips, Arbuckle was lovingly sprinkled throughout the pages, prodiving chuckles and smiles wherever he went. When I was a young prepubescent boy, I had discovered and became fascinated with the complexities of the Garfield Minus Garfield strips and was introduced to the sadder side of Jon Arbuckle. And again, when I was only 11, discovering the hilarious and fucked up Garfielf shitposts and binging a compilation of them, Jon was right there the whole way in various different depictions, all of them making me laugh and smile. Every bit of my life that popped up that was even slightly Garfield related, whether it was a fact, or a funny shitpost, a meme, a comic strip, Jon was there, even if he wasn't present, he still lingered and floated around in my thoughts by pure association alone like a gaurdian angel.

And now… now we're here. On that fateful day of May 19th, 2022 at 4:24 am when I witnessed that singular image of that man, Jon appeared in my life once again and this time as a hyperfixation on a fictional character that I never could have predicted. He showed up in my life in a very special way at a time where I'm still discovering things about myself and when I've been feeling my lowest. Confused, in denial, anxious, hopelessness, nothingness, all these things swirling around in my head, and then here comes Jon. That handsome devil, that dorky loveable goof, that relatable fun cartoonist, he had swept me away into an interest that I could have never known would actually keep me in a state of fascination and joy, I think it's even at special interest status at this point! Jon is here, in my heart and mind. And he kinda is like a guardian angel in a way. He's always in my thoughts, his adorable little face looking over me contently. And it's no wonder he's always there if he means so, so much…

Jon is relatable. Incredibly relatable. I have went through this time and time again in many entries, especially Entry 3 which I'm still debating on publishing. But Jon is relatable, sometimes even painfully so and even to the point of me jokingly questioning "hey, maybe i am jon, haha wouldn't that be cool". He's like a representation of me, and I know that's because Jon is written to be relatable, but he's just so much more to me. His quirks, whether it's sorting his socks alphabetically, wearing colourful tacky mismatched suits, playing silly games with his cat like "Guess The Burp", somehow gluing a blender to his face for a strange and inexplicable reason, I am that. And I don't mean that literally, I haven't managed to glue a blender to my face (yet), but it's those little things Jon has that mirror my own quirks. And you may think "well yeah, everyone has quirks!", and you're right. But because I have a strong connection to Jon, because my identity closely matches his in many aspects, those weird and wacky quirks of his feel incredibly familiar like I was the one with those behaviours. Like I was Jon.

And it even goes into feelings. My behavioural and emotional patterns remind me of Jon. He can go from happy and jovial (not matter how fake it is) to null in the difference of a single panel. He can go from being somewhat content with his life to suddenly waking up the next morning and deciding he's going to completely flip it on its head and move to… Antartica or something before dropping that idea too. He can be completely silent and quite depressed looking through an entire strip, paying no mind to the situations unfolding around him, completely unenthusiastic at all. And that… hurts sometimes, especially when Jon isn't upbeat or goofy or even just happy. When Jon is just quiet, solemn, deep in thought, feeling worthless in life, there's no joy to his expression… It not only hurts to see a character I care for and love so dearly in a state of unhappiness, but it hurts in a more personal way. I feel those things, I feel almost exactly like Jon. Unworthy, numb, solemn, confused, anxious. Sometimes I'm scared to pull that lever and continue forward, and I often question the point of doing so, that nagging question that always hangs around in my head. But knowing Jon feels the same, knowing the connection I have to this single character, it makes it easier. And yes, I know that looking to fictional men for help doesn't replace actual social interaction or any professional help, but it helps. Jon helps.

Jon is here for me in my thoughts, I know that for a fact. It's been 70 days already, I think that's well established. He's a friend, a guardian angel, a buddy, a metaphorical shoulder to cry on, no matter how fictional he is. He's been there through thick and thin, he's seen my grow and I've seen him grow as well, and between that barrier that separates reality from fiction is a single connection between he and I. I probably sound like I've lost the plot, but if one day that barrier were to shatter and crumble and I was able to actually see Jon in person, I would. I would be his friend, be able to talk to him, be able to see him right there, I could share my thoughts on the connection between us, and it would be swell. It would be special. It would be theoretically catastrophic if that barrier broke for all fictional characters but hey, at least Jon's there, lol (and maybe Lyman could finally be free from his void prison…..)

So, Jon, on your special day, I celebrate the personal and emotional connection I have to you, as well as your birthday, because you mean so much to me. You mean so much to a random autistic kid from Australia who has a little too much time on its hands to write these, and I'm happy for that. I'm happy that you have been throughout my entire life and many other people's lives to share this similar connection with. You are a pretty underrated character, but you will not got underrated in my heart and in my thoughts, and I swear on that fact. You are special. You are worth something. You are Jon. So, happy birthday, Jon, from all of us. Whether some have been there since that first little strip in a small local paper in 1976, or whether some are just starting to read the comic today, we wish you a happy birthday. Love you, Jon <3

Last edited at 8:18 am

Happy birthday to our special boy from not only me, but many others in the Garfield fandom. Have a great day, Jon, you deserve it :)

Cheers,

Your Local Jonnoisseur

Posted on the 28th of July, 2022 at 8:43 am.

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The Jonicles - Entry 12 (original image source)

Note: This is the twelfth entry of The Jonicles, hence why the date does not match when this is being posted. This was written back in June of this year before I started this blog, and there will be errors or developments in how this series was being written. Please enjoy (or don't enjoy) the twelfth entry of The Jonicles!

It is currently the 16th of June, 2022 at 8:10 am. It's a Thusday, and what's even more special is that Garfield (at least, the Garfield as we know him...) has his birthday coming up on Sunday!! Today also marks #29 of my Jon Arbuckle hyperfixation. I'm almost at day #30 and that frightens me.

You know, this whole fixation on Jon Q. Arbuckle has lead to me seeing some pretty weird things, kinda like that image up above. It's the Garfield fandom, after all. Lasagna Cat, Gorefield, Bad Monday Simulator, r/imsorry jon, Garfield Minus Garfield, I've seen it all, babey. 

But, even after all that, there are still some things that break me, and just yesterday when I was looking through the Jon Arbuckle hate blog (yes, that exists and it's hilarious, even as a Jonniseur) I found a reblog of a post from someone I forget the name of who described an experience with a dream they had, a specific detail that they had remembered in that dream. Included in that post was this image of an entity I only know as simply "Turnip Jon".

Turnip Jon. Turnip Jon. Turnip. Jon.

There are so many weird fucking drawings and art pieces I've seen of Garfield and Jon. I've seen art where Jon has some sort of orange fungi sprouting from his body, I've seen art where the roles are reversed and now Jon is Garfield's pet, heck, back in 2017 I binge-watched a bunch of fanmade Garfielf videos which all led up to the reveal of Garfield being a supreme, godly being featuring a mashup of Garfield openings X Waters of Megalovania. So many drawings, so much fanfiction, so many shitposts...

But even still, nothing prepared me for Turnip Jon. The pure simplicity mixed with absurdity still truly perplexes me even hours after I first saw that image. Look at him. Just look at him. The sheer image of him is enough to break someone. It's so weird. He's so weird looking, his plump turnip body with that smug ass smirk like you know this man is up to something michievious. And those eyes. Those half-lidded, seductive eyes of his he has. And to think, someone dreamt him. Someone's deep, complex, intelligent subconscious created his entity and put it into existence in this person's mind. It created the perfect being. How. How do you even do that.

They then go on to explain Turnip Jon's known abilities, of which he has two. He is able to hover above ground by using his leaves as a propeller, an astounding evolutionary trait that no turnip has seen before. He is also able to shapeshift, specifically into one of those spinny turbine thingies you see on top of houses. An evolutionary masterpiece and an effective house coolant system. He is truly the best being. Nothing can top him.

And for what purpose? Why does he exist? What is his duty in this world? Why does such a perfect being, a being that is a mix of absurdity and hilarity, deserve to live in this flawed, horrible chaos that is this mortal coil? What is his purpose? What has he seen in his life? Why, despite all the wars, all the pain, all the hatred, do we still deserve this unsung entity? Maybe he is not the entity we deserve, but he's the entity we need in this world.

And it gets deeper. Is there a Turnip Garfield? A Turnip Odie? Turnip Liz perhaps? Mayhaps even Turnip Lyman? How many Turnip Jons exist in this world? Where did he come from? Why, out of all the turnips in the world, does he have the power to fly and shapeshift? Can Turnip Jon shapeshift into other objects? Is he edible? What is his origin story? Is this turnip form simply a primal form or is it Jon's most powerful one? Is... Is Turnip Jon God!?!?!?!?

Folks, there are many questions I have about this fantastic little sponge here, but even after all this, maybe we'll never know the truth. Maybe the truth is not ours to know. But even knowing that, we can at least have the comfort of knowing this one thing.

Turnip Jon is perfection. Turnip Jon is incredible. He's so simple yet he's so... amazing. He only has two abilities yet it feels like he could do anything in the world. He's so absurd yet so charming and he's so memorable. He's so dumb yet has so many complexities to him. And you know what? I love Turnip Jon. All my homies love Turnip Jon. I love his little veggie form, his smug little face and his adorable leaves. I love imagining him hovering mid-air and smacking his face into a wall repeatedly. He's so... good...

Turnip Jon, I welcome you with open arms into both my insane-in-the-membrane brain and into my heart, as all Jons go to. You are perfection, you are absurdity, but most importantly, you are Jon. Enjoy your stay, my man. My skrunkly, tiny, stupid turnip man.

Turnip Jon is love. Turnip Jon is life.

Last edited at 8:44 pm. Long school day!

God, that least line is just... so cursed. If you know, you know, but if you somehow don't... I send my condolences.

Anyway, Turnip Jon is probably one of the funniest things I have seen on this godforsaken website. He's so funny looking, he's so weird, and oh my goodness it took me a literal hour to find the original source of the image for this entry. I thought I had it bookmarked but I didn't, I went through so many reverse image searches and came up with nothing an the only way I found it was by painfully scrolling through the Jon hate blog to find it again. Very elusive of him to just hide in there like that.

And yes, Turnip Jon is still as perplexing and just... unbelievable to this day. He's just..... so weird, man. I love him. He's fantastic. Yes, this entry is written in a slightly satirical fashion and I exaggerate some things, but I genuinely find Turnip Jon to be such a perplexing creature. He's just so..... I don't even know, magical? Yeah, magical.

(i also apologise in advance to the original poster of turnip jon, i' just find him to be so fucking funny i'm sorry)

Cheers,

Your Local Jonnoisseur

Posted on the 22nd of July, 2022 at 8:30 pm. We're getting close, fellas.

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The Jonicles - Entry 23 (image above lovingly drawn by yours truly)

It is currently the 18th of August, 2022 at 8:29 am and it's a nice Thursday. It is also officially day #91 of my Jon Arbuckle hyperfixation, waaaay more than I thought this would ever last Three whole months, jeez... I don't really have any overly analytical character analysis for today, but instead, I have this story that I'm surprised I haven't told yet until now...

Today's entry regards an experience I had while playing the shitty 3DS version of Garfield Kart that I non-chalantly, ahem, ""legally aqquired"" through conviniently untold means. This version of the original Garfield Kart is probably one of my favourites, as even though the PC version looks absolutely stunning compared to this version, the 3DS version is clunky and unpolished, allowing me to clip through many areas and completely skip some. I have quite a lot of fun doing this in "Play Misty For Me", as with a couple of springs, I can easily skip over corners and most of the entire first turn of the map. It's fun seeing everyone else struggle whilst Jon happily makes leaps and flies through the air, wind blowing through his lovely curly locks.

But I'm not here to talk about glitches and tricks you can pull in one of the funniest racing games I've ever played. No, I'm here to discuss mortal enemies.

Everyone has an enemy in a racing game. In Mario Kart 8, my mortal enemies are Roy and King Boo. In Sonic & SEGA All Stars Racing, it was most likely Billy. And in Garfield Kart, my mortal enemy is Squeak the mouse, one of Garfield's friends.

Now, if you're familiar with Garfield Kart's playerbase or have played it yourself, you may be wondering, "Jeremy, why is your mortal enemy Squeak? Nermal's way worse", and I would say that you're right, if Squeak weren't astronomically worse than Nermal, that is.

Squeak is an asshole when it comes to Garfield Karting. I don't know how, but this stupid tiny rodent can somehow reach the gas pedal with his weird little mouse feet and push on it hard enough in order to always have the winning spot in first place all to himself. He's always there, and poor Jon (my main) can never seem to catch up to him. He taunts Jon, bullies him, always laughs at him whenever he drives past. The little rat always has win and never lets anyone fly ahead... at least, on the PC version, that is. Jon always has to suffer the burden of being in last place when Squeak is around in the PC version, but in the 3DS version, that's a much different story. Due to the AI in the 3DS version being literally the dumbest thing I have ever seen (seriously, they crash into the map like moths fly into lamps), Squeak is no different, allowing Jon to take advantage of his new power and send that frustrating rodent in 8th place and below, right where he belongs.

However, this all changed one fateful day as I was just sitting there on my bed, happily racing around the twists and turns of Pastacosi Factory on my second lap, having a baller of a time. And so was Jon, as he was zooming around in first place, exactly where he should be, being the good boy he is. You know how in some racing games where you can become so first place that you end up looping around to the person in 6th place? That's what was happening here as I was driving towards the finish line and I could see a little kart driving around in front of me, and it looked like they weren't having the best time. Not thinking much of it, I drove closer towards them, ready to prove my might as a Jon main and speed right through the upcoming finish line. However, I spotted the very small frame of the head of the driver in the kart in front of me, and I realised that it was Squeak, my mortal enemy! I would have thrown a pie at him to prove my dominance, but considering I didn't have any items on me, I simply drove past, mocking him for being in last place and giving him a firm bump with my kart. After so many lost races because of this little rodent, I felt alive, having put Squeak in his place once and for all and proving that Jon is superior among the crowd of the other Garfield Karters...

... That was, until I heard a very familiar sound from behind me. It sounded like a sort of woosh, and I thought that maybe Squeak had just thrown a pie at me, and I was about to retort with another shove, but I realised that Squeak was... im front of me? But I had already driven past him, how could he suddenly just be in front of me now? Confused and slightly disoriented, my eyes darted up to the place indicator thingy, and it displayed the number 6 instead of 1...

I then realised that the woosh sound I had heard was not a pie, but instead, it was the woosh sound the magic wand item makes when you hit someone with a spark of magic, and it all suddenly clicked. Squeak, in an act of apparent revenge, had hit me with a magic spark and swapped places with me, putting him in first place and leaving me deserted in 6th place once again, and it all happened within the matter of 3 seconds. I was dumbstruck, stupified, bamboozled. My jaw dropped I watched the little pixels belonging to Squeak speed away on the little screen. That little rodent, that little bitch, after so long of having to go through endless races full of pain, loss and homicidal urges, had just duped me and stolen my spot completely out of nowhere. Needless to say, I was offended. Incredibly offended. I was doing so well, I hit all the shots, I was king, and then this tiny little rat boy came and swiped that all away.

I paused the game, took a deep breath and uttered the words "man fuck you squeak" and started a new race, because I knew. What did I know? I knew that I had, absolutely HAD to deal with this in the most efficient way possible. I had to exterminate this foul animal, this foul beast, and I was going to do it right there, right that moment. The moment that solidified my hatred for Squeak.

So now, every time I see this little rat boy, I sneer at him, throw insults and generally taunt him at every opportunity. When I was reading one of the KaBOOM! Garfield comics, I made the horrifying discovery that Squeak was the lead narrator for the comic, so every time the annoying little rat reared his ugly head, I insultes his narration skills and made threats of homicide and general violence towards the little mouse. Every time I see him onscreen in The Garfield Show, a cartoon that he's apparently a pretty big character in, I heckle him and call him disgusting. I especially dislike his stupid little voice, every time he speaks, I clench my fists and go "shut up, Squeak, no one asked". I found this really nice wallpaper of all the main Garf characters smiling and I was about to set it as my phone background when suddenly, I noticed Squeak's stupid dumb little smile right on the corner and I immediately regretted my descisions, pissed that he had once again wormed his way into my life. He is the bane of my very existence, and needless to say, whenever Jon asks Garfield to catch the mice running rampant in his house, whenever he sets traps to finally catch the stupid little assholes, I empathise with him, and I wish him well in the hopes that maybe one day, Jon will finally catch Squeak and, I dunno, feed him to a beranda snake or something. Just get rid of him already, I'm sick of seeing him, let alone thinking about him!

So, with that said, I don't really have any deep insights to give, apart from the fact that I hate Squeak and he fucked my wife. Thank you for once again reading my insane ramblings about Garfield characters and I hope all of you stay safe from this tiny little tyrant, he needs to be stopped. Take care guys :)

Last edited at 4:06 pm. i ated a pop tarts and now my body feels funny

Day #91! Hoooly bejeebus! As the top of this entry says, I never thought I'd actually get this far... Anyway, please enjoy my very tired retelling of this short story. Maybe I should make a parody blog dedicated to hating Squeak, like the Jon hate blog...

Cheers,

Your Local Jonnoisseur

Posted on the 18th of August, 2022 at 4:43 pm.