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the-boy-meets-evil · 5 months

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not according to plan | hjs

summary: your ex-fiance is getting married and everyone you know is going to be there. when he calls to ask if you're coming, you accidentally mention a boyfriend. which would be fine, if you weren't very single. thankfully your best friend comes through with the perfect solution when he sets you up with a friend of his. what could possibly go wrong?

pairing: joshua x f.reader genre: fake dating, strangers to friends to ?? | fluff, slight angst, smut rating: explicit, minors DNI word count: ~22.1k notes/warnings: johnny suh as the ex-fiancee (sorry, he's not great in this), other idols born in '95 used as background characters, mentions of past cheating, food & alcohol, lots of "dates", reader is referenced as coming from a rich family, mention of being an escort (minus the sex?) smut warnings: making out, multiple smut scenes (kind of, it could be a continuation), multiple orgasms, teasing, they're both v obsessed with each other's bodies, protected sex, fingering, nipple play, oral sex (f. receiving), scratching/marking, squirting, overstimulation, use of lube, i think that's it (but let me know if it's not)

author's note: this fic is dedicated to the lovely @shuadotcom, i'm so sorry it took me literal months to finish fake dating!joshua but here we are anyway. i'm not sure how this one got so away from me either lmao. banner credit to the beautiful @wongyuseokie who (again) did this very last minute. thank you to @wonwussy & @kwanisms for the mid-fic beta. thank you to @wooahaeproductions, @horanghater, @cheolism, & @hannieween for listening to me talk about this and helping with things like petnames & dates.

taglist at the end (& join my permanent taglist here)

“It’s fine, it’s been years and I’m over it. Plus, I’ve been seeing someone anyway and he’s great. So I wasn’t ignoring your invite,” you say without a second thought.

It’s just a stream of consciousness. The lie comes flying out of your mouth faster than your brain can process it. That’s exactly what it is, too. A lie. You’re not seeing anyone and haven’t been in a serious relationship since the person on the other end of the call broke your heart.

“Oh, wow, sorry, I didn’t mean to…well, I didn’t know. My mom didn’t say anything when she said she had spoken to your mom about whether or not you were coming to the wedding,” Johnny says with a little bit of ramble.

“You know how my mom can be, I haven’t had the chance to tell her yet,” you deflect.

“I’m happy for you, then,” Johnny says.

“Thanks, I’m happy for you, too,” you force out. Somehow, it doesn’t sound like the lie you know that it is.

“So, it’s not weird, then? I mean our moms are best friends, so the rest of your family is all going to be there. A lot of your friends will be there. I know you haven’t RSVP’d yet, but…” Johnny starts.

“Nope! Not weird at all,” you utter, hoping that your voice sounds even. “It’d be weirder if I wasn’t there, right?”

“Probably, yeah,” Johnny says. “That’s great, though. Do you want me to mark you down as a yes? I can even add a plus-one, if you want to bring your partner.”

“That’s so thoughtful, but I wouldn’t want to put you out. I know how expensive weddings can be,” you say and try to sound sincere.

“No, it’s no issue, actually. We have a few extra seats that we left just in case we forgot someone or didn’t know about someone’s partner,” Johnny presses. “So we’ll see you both there?”

“Yeah, you will,” you hurry out. This conversation needs to be over.

It’s only an hour after hanging up with your ex-fiancee that your mom calls to tell you she can’t believe she had to hear it from Mrs. Suh that you’re dating someone. Which includes a whole lot of deflecting and promises about when she can meet this mystery man. Another twenty minutes after you hang up with your mom, you get a pointed text from your younger sister. The two of you haven’t ever been all that close, so she shouldn’t be surprised that you haven’t mentioned him. She made her side pretty clear when she maintained her friendship with Johnny’s new fiancée. That new fiancee, a close friend of your sisters, also just so happened to be the girl he cheated on you with. So, she can hardly expect to have a close sister bond. Yet, she seems oddly suspicious that she didn’t know you were seeing someone seriously.

Your quiet Saturday afternoon turns into a full blown headache all thanks to one call from the asshole that you really thought you left in the past. Of course, now is the perfect time for him to pop back up. Now, when you’re even between any sort of casual sex. Now, when you don’t even have someone that you can call up to pretend to date you. This is going to be one of the worst calls that you have to make when you have to admit you made it all up, that you will absolutely not be showing your face at the wedding, and you will also be changing your name before moving away.

For now, you do the only thing that you can think of doing. You call the only person that can give you any perspective on this whole fucking disaster.

“Well hello,” your best friend answers.

“Jeonghan, I fucked up,” you say without preamble.

“This is gonna be good,” he responds.

“I just got off the phone with my mom,” you begin.

“What did she want?” he asks, knowing that it won’t be anything good.

“Well, you know, to talk about this new boyfriend of mine,” you continue.

“You haven’t dated anyone in forever,” Jeonghan chuckles.

“Thank you for that,” you snark. “And then, of course, I get a text from my perfect sister wondering why she’s also just hearing about this boyfriend of mine.”

“Why do your sister and your mom think you’re dating someone?” Jeonghan asks.

“Oh, well, you know. Johnny called today,” you offer.

“Fuck that guy,” Jeonghan interjects.

“He wanted to know why I hadn’t responded to his wedding invite and assumed it was awkward because I was single, so I told him I was seeing someone,” you finally finish.

“For fuck’s sake,” Jeonghan says into the silence and you can imagine his face.

“Right? My life is a fucking mess and now Johnny thinks that I’m bringing my boyfriend,” you groan.

“I’ll start planning the story for why you suddenly left town,” Jeonghan says.

“For real, my life is over,” you whine.

“What are you gonna do?” Jeonghan asks softly.

This is really why you called him. Jeonghan is a shithead, sometimes, and he can be a bit of a chaos demon. He also can be a bit of a schemer, especially when it comes to winning a game. But, he’s unfailingly kind and caring to the people he holds dear. He absolutely hates getting into any kind of real conflict with his friends. There’s that whole side to him that honestly wouldn’t hurt a fly and always has a way to comfort. That’s the side that you get now.

“I don’t know,” you answer, voice just as quiet. “I’m just…I don’t want to let him win, you know?”

And Jeonghan does know. You’ve been friends since before you started dating Johnny. Even though he never liked him, Jeonghan supported you in your relationship. When Johnny proposed, he called your other friends and set up the best engagement party anyone could ask for. From the outside, nobody would ever know that he hated your partner. Honestly, he’s the best friend anyone in the world could ask for.

Before he got around to setting up the bridal shower, which he’d been quietly planning for months, your whole world turned upside down. Johnny cheated, had been cheating awhile, actually, and Jeonghan was there to pick up the pieces. Somehow, he was the only one that seemed to make it better, probably because he didn’t want to act like things were okay when they weren’t. It was easy to cry in front of him, easy to be vulnerable, easy to just let the process play out so you could heal. Even though he never liked Johnny, he also didn’t say he told you so. This had never been something that crossed his mind.

“Okay, you’re gonna hate it, but I have an idea,” Jeonghan says.

“Those are never comforting words coming from you,” slips out of your mouth.

“Usually I’d yell at you, but…” he trails off.

“I swear, if you’re about to say that we pretend to be dating like some romcom, I will hang up the phone,” you warn.

“First of all, that’s rude, I’m a great boyfriend,” Jeonghan says.

“I never said you weren’t, Hannie, you know I think you’re gorgeous,” you sigh.

“That’s true, I am,” Jeonghan says through a laugh.

“But, I also know you remember what an unmitigated disaster it was when we fucked,” you point out, earning an even louder laugh.

“Wow, and here I thought that it was actually great sex,” he says.

“I’m not gonna keep stroking your ego, I already admitted you were gorgeous. I don’t need to praise the sex, too,” you declare.

“Stroking my…come on, you’re making it too easy,” Jeonghan points out.

“Funny, because I remember you being the easy one that night,” you say, finally managing to get a shot in.

“I hate you,” Jeonghan snorts.

“I know,” you answer. “Didn’t you say that you had an idea?”

Jeonghan clears his throat. “Right, yeah. Well, I know this guy and maybe he can help you out.”

“What is he, an escort?” you snort out.

“Do you want my help or not?” Jeonghan asks.

“Yoon Jeonghan, are you about to set me up with an escort?” you challenge.

“No, of course not, just trust me,” he says.

Just trust me might be the three most terrifying words that could come out of Jeonghan’s mouth, especially when you’re not usually on the receiving end of his schemes. It’s not like you have much choice, though. The wedding is in six weeks and you have to find a solution, fast. So, what choice do you have other than trusting your best friend? How could this go wrong?

You still think this is a terrible idea, yet agree to meet Jeonghan’s friend, Joshua, anyway. Apparently, he’s somewhat new to the area, doesn’t know many people, and is incredibly easy to be around. There’s no mention of why Jeonghan thinks he might be willing to pretend to be your boyfriend. A part of you wonders if your friend even told him, but he’s not that cruel. So, whatever the case, Joshua must at least have some idea of what he’s walking into.

Several days pass between the nightmare of a call from Johnny and you actually meeting Joshua, which only adds to your anxiety about whether or not this is going to work. Johnny is asking for a name for the seating chart and for dinner selections. Your mom wants to know when they’ll be able to meet this new boyfriend before the wedding (because “meeting him for the first time at a wedding is gauche” and we wouldn’t want that). Your sister is convinced that he doesn’t actually exist since you haven’t posted him on social media. That you can at least answer to say that not everyone posts their entire life online like she does. It doesn’t seem to allay her suspicions, though.

Then, there’s the fact that you’re actually meeting Joshua for the first time at dinner. All you wanted was to go for coffee, yet he insisted. You couldn’t exactly press the point. Not when you’re planning to ask this stranger to pretend to date you just so that you can avoid the embarrassment at your ex’s wedding. On top of that, because Jeonghan really is a demon at his core, you don’t know what Joshua looks like. Don’t know who to look for. Which leads to you doing the only sensible thing and showing up 5 minutes late for dinner, hoping that he’ll already be at the table when you get there.

It works.

When you give the reservation name at the host stand, you’re immediately led back to a table. Without even thinking about it, you smooth your hands down the front of your dress, looking for a small amount of comfort in this situation. It’s not even that you struggle around new people, this is just…well, it’s a lot. It’s out of anyone’s comfort zone. Whatever you’re expecting, it’s not the man sitting at the table the host leads you to. He nearly stops you in your tracks.

His black hair is perfectly styled down to the pieces on one side that come down over his forehead. The black dress shirt he wears is open at least one button too many, but he makes the exposed chest look work in a way models would envy. Even though his pants are black as well, he makes it look classic and effortless, rather than too dark. That’s all without even acknowledging the soft smile on his face. This man would break a thousand hearts without even saying a damn word. While you’re appreciating him, you miss the way his eyes rake over you appreciatively. Miss the way his eyes trace your curves and the way the dress clings to you.

In one fluid motion, he’s standing up to greet you, a gentle kiss placed on your cheek. Is it weird if your knees are a little weak? Well, even if it is, there’s nothing you can do. You’re completely captivated.

“You must be Joshua,” you say. Brilliant, you think. That’s obvious.

“It’s nice to meet you. Jeonghan had nothing but good things to say,” he answers with another smile as he pulls your seat out for you.

“I feel like he hardly told me about you,” you respond. Joshua raises a perfect eyebrow at that.

“Then why did you agree to go out with me?” Joshua asks.

“Go out with…is this a date?” The question comes tumbling out.

Joshua’s eyes widen in genuine confusion. “Is it not?”

“What, exactly, did Jeonghan say to you?”

A lot and nothing at all, it turns out. Joshua tells you about how he’s somewhat new to the area, which you knew. About how he met Jeonghan through work, kind of. They work in the same building doing very different things and happened to run into each other getting coffee a handful of times before Jeonghan introduced himself. The two had hung out several times, something Jeonghan had not really mentioned, and gotten to know each other over drinks more than once. The very first time, Jeonghan had mentioned you and Joshua admits immediately being intrigued without pressing for more information.

In any case, Jeonghan talked about you pretty freely, a fact that’s hardly surprising. Before Joshua texted you, Jeonghan had mentioned, in what Joshua calls an offhand way, that you were sick of dating the same people. According to Joshua, through Jeonghan, you were looking to possibly be set up. (Read: Jeonghan thinks he’s crafty and isn’t going to come out and tell this man what you’re really looking for. Typical Jeonghan, honestly. You know that “offhand comment” was anything but. And you had the audacity to think Jeonghan would have to tell Joshua what he’s getting into. Rookie move.)

Now you’re in a bit of an awkward situation because this man is honestly gorgeous, one of the prettiest humans you’ve ever met. And, already, he seems like he might be sweet with a pretty good sense of humor. It’s just…well, you’re absolutely not looking for a relationship and this is the last person you want to get involved in your mess. Thankfully, you get a moment to catch your breath when someone comes by to take a drink order and suggest an appetizer. It’s just enough time for you to talk yourself into telling Joshua the real story.

To his credit, he only looks mildly surprised as you outline your whole situation, inform him that yes, Jeonghan does know all of this, and clarify why you didn’t actually realize it was a date. It’s hard to miss the way his eyes seem to sparkle a bit when you also admit that he’s absolutely stunning in a way that hurts your feelings. Easier to miss is the way his face barely falls when you say that you’re not actually looking for something right now. Interesting.

“So that’s the whole thing and now that I’ve embarrassed myself in front of you, I’m sure you’ll understand if we never see each other after tonight,” you finish.

“How am I supposed to go to a wedding as your boyfriend in a matter of weeks if we don’t see each other after tonight?” Joshua wonders.

“I…what?” you sputter out.

“Well, sure, we need to work out a few details, but I’m game,” Joshua says with a shrug.

“I’m sorry, I think I’m just really confused?” You don’t even have food yet and this is already the most interesting date you’ve been on, possibly ever.

“I, uh, may have left a part of my past out when I was sharing what Jeonghan knew about me,” Joshua says. “And honestly, I can’t believe I didn’t catch it or that he did this. I’d be mad if I wasn’t so impressed by how crafty it was.”

“I’m going to need you to connect some dots for me,” you admit. “Oh and also never tell Jeonghan you appreciate him being crafty. His ego is too big as it is.”

“The first time Jeonghan and I hung out, we went out for drinks, got a little wasted, and I told him about how I got through my university studies without any debts,” Joshua says, pausing long enough for someone to set the appetizer down. “He’s observant, Jeonghan, I’ll give him that. He noticed I had designer clothes, shoes, that kind of thing. And he noticed I didn’t pay attention to the prices of the drinks. So I made a vague comment about being lucky to have found a way through my studies without taking out loans.”

“I’m sure he asked you about that, he loves it when he thinks there’s a scheme,” you note with a smile.

“You’re right about that,” Joshua agrees. “So I, well I told him. When I was in school, I met this woman out one night and she paid me to go to events with her. She wanted, and these were her words, ‘someone young and hot’ with her. And the next four years, that’s what I did. I let people pay for me to go to events with them. Never more than that. I was clear that I wasn’t selling sex or anything, just company.”

You lean back in your seat with an appraising look. “An entrepreneur from the beginning.”

“Hey, no judgment,” Joshua says. All you can do is smile.

“I’m not judging, that was really smart and you’re obviously attractive enough for it,” you acknowledge.

“Thank you,” Joshua says. It doesn’t have the air of cockiness Jeonghan’s answer would. He actually seems sincere in accepting the compliment.

“But, I’m still not going to pay you to pretend to be my boyfriend,” you say, even if it’s a bit reluctant.

“I wasn’t asking you to,” Joshua shrugs. “You don’t have to pay me.”

“Why would you offer to pretend to do something like this? You don’t even know me,” you point out.

“No, I don’t. But, you seem like a good person. And I like Jeonghan, he’s nice…” Joshua says, stopping when you try to cover a scoff.

“Nice?” you question when you’re caught.

“Wrong word choice,” Joshua dismisses. “He seems like the kind of person that’s a loyal friend, like he would go into battle to protect you. Like someone you can actually trust.”

“He is all of those things, yeah,” you admit.

“And if those things are true, then him holding you out as his best friend means you’re probably all of those things too,” Joshua reasons.

“I try to be,” you agree.

“Plus, Jeonghan did mention you had seriously dated someone that was pretty rich, so I figure it’s probably the guy getting married and it’ll be a nice wedding,” Joshua says with a smile. The joke is obvious by the look in his eyes.

“It’s interesting that he mentioned Johnny, that’s my ex, being rich,” you idly comment.

“Is he not?” Joshua wonders.

“Jeonghan is a lot of things, but he’d never lie to his friends,” you answer first. “So, yeah, he is. Well, his family is at least. His mom and mine run a lot of events together, like galas and shit. That’s how we all know each other.”

“Are you rich, too?” Joshua wonders. There’s that little twinkle of something in his eyes again, but there’s also sincerity.

“I’m still not paying you,” you retort.

“Fine,” Joshua agrees.

You roll your eyes. “Okay, so what’s the plan?”

There’s a weird world’s colliding feeling to having both Jeonghan and Joshua in your apartment. But, Jeonghan doesn’t like to be left out of things. Once you told him that you and Joshua both knew about his scheming, he offered to help in any way he could. Which is likely just so he’s included. You’ll take what you can get. Now, it means that he and Joshua are sitting on your couch, scrolling through pictures on Joshua’s phone to decide what to include in an instagram post. That’s the first step you and Joshua agreed on. If you’re going to sell this whole fake relationship, then your sister actually is right. There has to be some sort of proof of it online. Which also means that your post has to talk about how you’ve been keeping it quiet and just enjoying getting to know each other without any pressure. Jeonghan takes credit for that, even if you got there on your own.

“I think I like this one,” Jeonghan says and turns the phone around to show you.

“Why that one?” you ask.

“Why not? Don’t you like it?” Joshua worries.

“I don’t know, I feel like my hand is doing something weird,” you point out.

“You look great,” Joshua assures you.

“Oh, ew, you’re not really dating,” Jeonghan complains.

“You do know you’re going to have to stop saying that, right?” you ask.

“Maybe I didn’t know either,” Jeonghan shrugs.

“No, I’m with her, you’re her best friend and you definitely would’ve known,” Joshua agrees.

“Why are you on her side already?” Jeonghan whines.

“Because she’s cool and she’s not the one who knew what I did in college and set me up,” Joshua says with a laugh.

This is how it’s been going for the last hour. You’re not really much for putting a lot of effort into your posts, so this all feels like too much. But, you know that it’s important for it to feel real and it’s important to get it right. You’re honestly pretty happy to just let the guys take the lead and go with the flow of it all. There are going to be plenty of opportunities for you to take the lead. You’re going to take your breaks where you can.

(That had also meant not putting up too much of a fight when Jeonghan told you to bring multiple outfits with you. Or when you had to change your hairstyle and makeup between the photos so it looked like they hadn’t all been taken the same day. Honestly, this was so much easier for Joshua. Then again, he’s the one doing you a favor. So maybe you can let him have it.)

After you finally get your couple pictures posted, and get a flurry of messages ranging from surprise to congratulations, you move onto preparing Joshua to meet your parents, your sister, and her husband. Jeonghan is actually a lot of help with that because he’s been around them a lot. Well, he’s helpful after he tries to scare Joshua about how intimidating it’s going to be only to give up when Joshua is unbothered. He’s so calm about everything that it’s actually kind of nice to be around. And he has no problem firing back at Jeonghan, which is really fun to watch.

You go through what your parents are like, what they do both for work and as hobbies. Joshua perks up at the mention of your dad loving music and sometimes spending his weekends just exploring new venues. It seems like there might be more to that, though you don’t press when he waves it off. It’s different when you talk about your sister, two years younger and already married. Not that you’re dying to be married or even care that she got married before you. That’s always seemed like a weird societal expectation, anyway. What does it matter when anyone gets married? If it’s their right person, then it makes sense. You being upset over your failed engagement really doesn’t have anything to do with your sister’s marriage, despite her instance it does.

It becomes obvious that you’re losing Jeonghan’s attention when you turn down his request to start playing games or watch a movie. It’s not that you don’t want to do those things, it’s just that you have a lot to cover in far less time than you realized. Sure, the wedding is still weeks away. What’s not weeks away is your first dinner with your family. That’s going to be around the corner. The least you could do, you figured, was plan a time before posting pictures on instagram. So, Jeonghan asks if it’s okay to leave and you almost sigh in relief. This will be easier without an extra person.

“Not to pry, but what’s the deal with you and Jeonghan?” Joshua asks when you settle back on the couch with a glass of wine.

“What do you mean?” you ask.

“I don’t know, I feel like I was picking up on something,” Joshua shrugs.

“We’re really just friends,” you assure him.

“Sometimes those are the best…” Joshua starts.

“Don’t,” you cut off. He worries for a second before he realizes you’re smiling. “We did try. Not so much a try, I guess, but we slept together maybe 6 months after Johnny and I broke it off and it just wasn’t it.”

“You and him slept together?” Joshua questions.

“Is that weird for you?” you ask.

“No, it’s just interesting that you’re still so close,” Joshua observes.

“I guess,” you say with a shrug. “He’s great, obviously attractive, but we just, I don’t know. I didn’t feel anything. Neither did he. So, staying friends seemed like the right choice.”

“Interesting,” is all Joshua says. “Have you dated anyone seriously since Johnny?”

“Not that seriously, no,” you admit. “I’ve gone on dates with different people and some of them stuck around for a bit, but nothing serious.”

“Not finding the right people?” Joshua presses.

“I just haven’t found anyone that made me feel like Johnny did at the beginning or even like I did when he proposed,” you say.

“I can understand that, even if I don’t really get it. You’re gorgeous, anyone would be lucky,” he says smoothly. You cover a blush with a slight eye roll.

“I guess that’s why most of my close friends will also believe that I kept a new relationship on the low. They saw me post-Johnny and have seen me try to date,” you share.

“Yeah that’s good for us, at least,” Joshua agrees.

“What about you, though? When was your last relationship?” you ask.

“Ah, well it’s been a little over a year,” Joshua says.

“Bad ending?” you wonder. You’re not sure why you press him on it.

“It wasn’t great,” Joshua says with a chuckle. “She, uh, well she decided that she just really would rather be with one of my friends than with me.”

“I’m so sorry you went through that,” you say, suddenly sorry.

“No, no, it’s fine,” he says. “She didn’t actually cheat on me, but she had started getting close to him and sharing everything with him.”

“Arguably worse, in my opinion. Emotional cheating is still a thing,” you say, trying to offer comfort.

“Thank you,” Joshua says. His eyes are soft and full of care. “And, like you, I have dated since then, just nothing worth talking about.”

It’s an easy transition from that into talking about your backgrounds. Like speed dating, except somehow more intense. You learn Joshua’s birthday, his parents names, that he’s an only child, and where he grew up. Nothing is too small and you joke about taking notes before you actually go to get a notebook. Joshua tells you his favorite color and his favorite food, tells you about his favorite memories, favorite places where he grew up, and favorite places he’s found since moving here. There’s a way that his face lights up when he talks about his friends that’s drawing you in. You tell him the same. That all feels a little surface level, which you point out. If this is going to work, it has to be deeper, more serious.

That’s when something seems to almost break down. Joshua suggests that you tell each other the deep stuff, the things that you don’t always admit to someone you’re dating. Or, maybe you admit it and don’t get into the reasons why. When Joshua goes first and admits that he’s happiest when he’s playing his guitar, even if nobody else is listening, his whole face changes. It’s like a completely different version of him. He’s got an open face as it is, that hasn’t changed, but you realize maybe he’s a little guarded behind the smile as well. Maybe there really is more depth than he wants anyone to realize. Maybe this is going to be more interesting than you thought.

“Can I hear you play?” you ask. His face is adorable with his eyes full of surprise.

“You want to hear me play?” There’s an emotion you can’t place when he looks at you.

“I love music, too, Joshua,” you say softly. “I’d love to see what you’re passionate about.”

“Oh, well, I usually play at this acoustic night on Thursdays at a coffee shop downtown,” Joshua tells you.

“You do? That’s so cute!” you say before second guessing it. He looks away like he’s a little embarrassed and you worry for a split second.

“I’d love it if you came by,” he says.

“It’s a shame that we can’t say that’s where we met,” you admit.

“Wait, that would be a good idea, actually,” Joshua says and you smile.

“It would be, but I also know events like that. It’s always a similar crowd so I’m sure someone will know that I’ve never been,” you reason.

“Fair point,” Joshua concedes.

“Why don’t we just say we met on a dating app?” you suggest and Joshua pulls up his face. “Okay, I know apps are lame and honestly, I don’t use them much. But, think about it. That’s the perfect reason why we didn’t bring it up until now, we didn’t want to answer the ‘where did you meet’ question by saying an app.”

“Okay, yeah, I do actually like that because it’s easy and it doesn’t feel like a wild story,” Joshua says.

“What about your parents?” you ask. “Do we need to make plans to meet them if you’re also posting about me?”

“We can figure that out, but they live pretty far away so it would probably just be over FaceTime or something,” he says.

“I also understand if you don’t want to do that because we’re just pretending,” you suggest.

“No, it’d be cool to have you meet them. Even if the relationship isn’t real, I’d like to be friends for real, so that’s not a total lie,” Joshua reasons.

“I’d like to be friends too,” you agree. “How long have you been living here, now?”

“Oh, um, like 8 months?” Joshua says like a question.

“I was figuring like a month or two with the way Jeonghan talks about you,” you laugh.

“You’ve been friends with him for years, you’re not actually surprised,” Joshua points out.

“Okay so now I guess we have to figure out when we started dating,” you comment.

“And everything else, but we can do it,” Joshua says.

You’re a little nervous sitting on your couch waiting for Joshua to show up. Even though you offered to pick him up for dinner with your family tonight, he insisted on being the one to drive. Of course he’s right on time, which you’re already realizing is a trait of his. He’s even a gentleman when he opens the door for you, just like he pulled the chair out the first time you met for the date-not-date. As you put your seatbelt on, you notice that there are a few things in the backseat.

“What’s all that?” you ask as he slides into the driver’s seat.

“Flowers for your mom, a bottle of scotch for your dad, and a cheese board for your sister because you said they just moved and she likes to host,” Joshua lists off as if it’s nothing.

“You did not have to get things for all of them,” you point out.

“Of course I did, but I also wanted to. I’m trying to make a good impression,” he says, making your heart a little light.

“That’s so kind,” you whisper out.

“Oh, I thought of something else,” Joshua shifts. You’re worried you made him uncomfortable until he speaks again. “Are you a pet name person in relationships?”

That makes you snort, something that would embarrass you in any other situation. It’s not the first time he’s heard it, though. “That depends on what you want to call me.”

“That’s a dangerous way to say that,” Joshua answers. His eyes are still on the road, yet you don’t miss the way he reacts.

“I don’t like overly cutesy names,” you say to diffuse a little bit of the moment. “Like, I don’t know, if you want to call me sugarplum or honeybunch or something like that, please don’t.”

“You’re just giving me ideas to take away my fun,” he pouts.

“Well, what were you thinking of calling me? Or are you even a pet name person?” you ask.

“I do like them,” Joshua says. “I’m not sure that I have a go-to or anything. For you, I might say angel or possibly darling.”

“I think I prefer angel, if I’m allowed to pick,” you say after a moment.

“Of course,” Joshua replies. Studying his face, you’re looking for a hint of mocking or insincerity, but there’s nothing to find. This is just him.

“Do you want me to use a pet name for you?” you wonder.

“I’d happily take one, no pressure, though,” he says.

“I’ll have to think about it,” you tell him. “Something generic like babe doesn’t feel right.”

“Are you saying I’m special?” Now you can hear the light teasing in his voice.

“I take it back, any more compliments are going to go to your head,” you huff out.

As you get closer to your parents’ house, you start to bounce your knee with an excess of nervous energy. It’s not until Joshua reaches a hand out to take one of yours that you’re even sure you’re doing it. There’s something calming about it, though. Nothing about him reaching out feels like he’s trying to stop you, just show that you’re not alone in this. Which is more than welcome. The last person you brought to meet your parents was Johnny. Given how that ended and why Joshua is around in the first place, it’s not exactly the most comforting thought.

Once you pull up to their house, you take a deep breath. It’s only to settle your rising nerves, but it also serves to give Joshua enough time to come and open your door. Even though you’ve told him that he doesn’t need to be this sweet, he insists. Without saying a word, he holds out a hand to help you out of the car. Instead of dropping your hand once you’re out, he uses it to pull you into him and wraps his arms around you. There’s this immediate sense of comfort, like you have actually been dating for months. You inhale his cologne without meaning to, something warm and woodsy.

“It’s going to be fine, parents love me,” he assures you when you pull away.

“I don’t doubt that,” you say, releasing the breath you were holding and your tension with it.

“So come on, my little granola wrapper, let’s go,” Joshua says as he lets you go to get the gifts out of his backseat.

It takes you a full few seconds to register what came out of his mouth. “I’m sorry, what did you just call me?”

“Is that not the one?” he asks, eyes alight with some kind of mischief.

“I’m not going to encourage this,” you huff.

“Whatever you say, jellybean,” he throws out casually.

The second you step into the house, you see exactly what Joshua means. Your mother is fawning over him in a matter of seconds, your father is making plans to show him his records, your sister’s husband is asking when they can go out for drinks, and your sister even holds back the snark. All during the course of the pre-dinner drinks and largely, you think, due to the gifts that Joshua brought. He had a reason for the meaning behind the type of flowers for your mother, a favorite musician who swore by the scotch for your dad, and even bought the cheese board from a small business that customized things.

Dinner comes along and you still feel like you’ve barely said anything with Joshua masterfully steering the conversation. He even makes it sound good that you met on an app, with his improvised story of wanting to meet people in a new city. According to him, he wasn’t expecting to meet someone like you and was done for the second he saw you sitting at dinner. It’s something real, that you met him for dinner the first time at a fancy downtown restaurant. And you realize you never actually asked what his impression was that first night. More than once, you catch yourself watching his profile as he talks to one of your family members. Everything about him is at ease and you wonder if it really is all fake. Not that you think anything about him is disingenuous, he’s just really good at making people like him.

The only hiccup doesn’t come until your mother is pulling out dessert. According to your sister, she’s got an excellent pie in the refrigerator that you simply have to try. You’re about to say something when Joshua beats you to it.

“I don’t think my little sugarplum likes fruit pies, but it sounds amazing and I’d love a piece,” Joshua interjects smoothly.

Your sister nearly spits out her drink, whether it’s at the nickname or him speaking up for you, you’re not sure. In any other situation, you would scold him for the name, but you’re a little stunned he remembers you don’t like pie. It came up once in a rapid fire of likes and dislikes.

“You’re right, she doesn’t,” your sister agrees. “I’d almost forgotten.”

(That’s when you’re sure it was another of your sister’s tests. Trying to catch you in some kind of lie about your relationship. But, it doesn’t work and you feel a little victorious for that.)

The doorbell rings through the house and you look to your mother, silently asking if she’s expecting someone. It’s unusual for them to have company calling this late on a Friday night. It’s usually reserved for dinners with friends or family or galas. Unsurprisingly, your mother doesn’t seem to know who it could be, but disappears to answer the door all the same. When a voice drifts through from the hallway, you freeze on the spot.

“I really just came by to drop that off for my mom, I didn’t realize it was so late. I’d hate to intrude on dessert,” the guest says.

“Nonsense, you’re not interrupting,” your mother insists.

“I saw an unfamiliar car, so I figured you might have guests,” he says as they come through the doorway into the living area.

Your heart stutters a little in your chest, feels heavier for seeing him. Somehow he looks taller and broader than the last time you saw him. He’s wearing his hair shorter and he looks more mature, somehow, like he’s seen so much more of the world than when you were together. Which is probably true, if you think about it. It’s been a couple years and that means he’s had more time working with his father.

“That would be my car,” Joshua says, getting to his feet immediately and extending his hand. “I’m Joshua.”

“Johnny,” he answers and shakes Joshua’s hand. Yet, his face looks a little tense and his eyes mostly stay on you.

“It’s just family,” your mother shares, though Johnny can obviously see that himself, “since our darling daughter finally brought Joshua around to meet us.”

“I’m glad she did, dinner was wonderful and the company was even better,” Joshua says with a smile at your mother. She nearly blushes at his compliment.

“Oh, hush,” your mother says with a wave of her hand. “I was just getting some pie if you’d like to stay for a piece, Johnny. Although, I’d hate to keep you from home.”

Joshua sits back down next to you, a little closer than is strictly necessary, and puts his arm along the back of the couch behind you. You feel safe pressed up against his side like that. Johnny clears his throat when he looks away from the pair of you. “Gabby has been out of town all week, actually, so I’m going back to an empty home anyway. I’d love to stay for a piece of your famous cherry pie.”

“Great!” your mother says and disappears off into the kitchen.

“What’s got Gabby away?” your sister asks.

“Just a conference,” Johnny answers. “There was a final banquet tonight and she’ll be home tomorrow.”

“She’s busy, away this week, bachelorette next weekend,” she says offhand.

“Keeping tabs on when everything is?” you ask of your sister. She looks at you like you’re crazy and Johnny looks awkward.

“No, I was invited to it,” your sister answers evenly.

Before you can even answer, Joshua is speaking up. Probably sensing your discomfort. After all, you hadn’t gotten to tell him that Johnny’s fiance is friends with your younger sister. They had gone to school together and been close. Stealing her sister’s fiancée doesn’t seem to have impacted the friendship.

“You must be excited with the big day getting so close,” Joshua says. He moves his arm from behind you so that he can take your hand on your thigh. It makes you look down at your hands before glancing at him, only to find his gaze on you already. It also means you miss the way Johnny follows the movement.

“Uh, yeah, I mean, I’m definitely excited. It’s just been a lot of planning,” Johnny says.

“I bet,” Joshua says. “Thank you so much for inviting me, I know how stressful changes can be.”

“It’s no problem, I’m happy you’ll both be there,” Johnny says.

With almost a practiced subtlety, Joshua squeezes your hand. There’s so much in that one movement. A reassurance, a reminder to breathe, a reminder that he’s there, a promise that everything is going to be okay. Your heart hurts seeing Johnny sitting in the living room so casually as if nothing happened, but it doesn’t hurt as much as you expected. Maybe that has something to do with this impossibly kind, completely idiotic person next to you. You also can’t help the way your gaze lands on him. Just in profile, at first, before he senses your look and turns to you with a dazzling smile. It’s like there’s nobody else in the world but the two of you.

The conversation shifts slightly when your mother comes back in with a tray full of pie slices and your father comes back with whatever record he was looking for to show Joshua. Just like that, you survive your first in-person interaction with Johnny. Actually come out of it feeling like you might be able to handle this. The smile you send Joshua while he’s eating his pie is so fond that you’re not even sure who you are.

“I can’t believe you didn’t call me last night,” Jeonghan says in lieu of a hello.

“Hello to you too, I’m good, thanks for asking,” you retort.

“Greetings are for people who remember their best friends, not for people who send a single sentence recap after bringing their fake boyfriend home to meet the family,” Jeonghan states immediately.

“That’s a very long rule,” you note.

“Deserved, though,” Jeonghan says.

“I was tired, Han, it was a long night,” you explain.

“A long night where your ex showed up,” he reminds you.

“That actually wasn’t so bad,” you admit. “Joshua made it feel pretty easy.”

“Oh did he now?”

You don’t have to be in the same room as Jeonghan to hear the expression on his face when he says that. “It was just easy, Jeonghan, nothing more than that.”

“What did your parents think?” he asks, switching gears.

“They loved him, like actually loved him. My mom was enamored and kept calling him handsome. My dad was talking about music with him and making plans to go check out some acoustic music venue. Even the ice queen couldn’t find anything to fault him for,” you share.

“She’s less of an ice queen and more of a mean girl and a bitch,” Jeonghan adds.

“You said it,” you mumble.

“I mean, come on, who thinks it’s okay for their friend to sleep with their sister’s fiancé? And then stays friends with the girl?” Jeonghan gets really defensive with this. He would ride for you to the ends of the world, which you do love. Just not today.

“I don’t wanna relive that whole thing, it’s done and over. Nothing to do now,” you say, weariness seeping into your voice.

“Would you want to do anything about it?” Jeonghan asks.

“What do you mean?” You answer the question with a question.

“Like would you want to go back to when you were with Johnny?” Jeonghan asks.

You think about it for half a second. “No.”

“That was fast,” Jeonghan comments.

“What’s there to go back to? He made his choice and I’m fine, honestly. It was weird seeing him and hearing him talk about his wedding, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought,” you say.

“Is that because of your Prince Charming?” Your best friend, always doing the most, puts this question into a sing-song voice.

“He’s not a Prince Charming. You’re so annoying,” you scoff.

“I don’t know, he sure seems to be saving you,” Jeonghan presses.

“I can’t with…” you start, trailing off at the knock on your door.

“Who’s there?” Jeonghan asks.

“No clue,” you answer, getting off your couch to go see.

“I bet it’s Prince Charming,” Jeonghan laughs out.

“Would you fuck…” you begin as you open the door to find the very subject of your conversation on the other side, “off.”

“I’m right aren’t I?” Jeonghan is nearly shrieking with glee.

“Sorry, gotta go,” you say.

“Oh no, no, no,” Jeonghan tries.

You’re stepping aside to let Joshua into your apartment. “I’ll see you tomorrow for brunch.”

“Let me know if I need to add one more to the reservation,” Jeonghan says.

“Goodbye,” you say with an eye roll Jeonghan can’t see, but will surely hear. You hang up as soon as he also says goodbye.

“Jeonghan?” Joshua guesses.

“Unfortunately,” you confirm.

“I hope I wasn’t interrupting,” Joshua says. It’s nothing like when someone says it out of forced courtesy. He actually seems like he’s making sure he’s not intruding.

“No, not at all, I just wasn’t expecting you,” you admit.

“Sometimes that’s the best time to come over,” Joshua says with a shrug.

“Does that mean you have a plan?” you wonder.

“Yup,” Joshua says.

“Gonna tell me what it is?” you ask.

“Nope,” he says with a concerning smile, popping the end of nope. “Go put on something comfortable but with layers. And we’re not going hiking or anything like that.”

An hour later, you’re pulling off the road in an area you’ve never been to, even with as long as you’ve lived here. The views are instantly enough to take your breath away. You can see the whole city below you, all the bustle of traffic and skyscrapers. Somewhere, you know there are people rushing to and fro, too busy to stop and appreciate what’s around them. Straight ahead, you can see the way the low clouds glide around, splitting around the very tops of the buildings. It’s beautiful and it also makes you realize just how small you are.

While you’ve been appreciating the views in front of you, Joshua has been gathering his supplies from the trunk. By the time you turn around, he’s laying a blanket and basket down on the ground in front of the car.

“Is this…did you set up a picnic?” you ask.

“I wanted to show you this place and figured some food might be nice,” he says with an easy smile.

“That’s so sweet,” you say earnestly.

You settle on the blanket next to him and look through the food he’s pulling out. There are some of your favorite things and some things you’re not even sure you’ve seen before. Somehow, though, you feel like they might become some of your new favorites. He even brought plates and he sets about putting one together for you to pick at.

Joshua tells you about how this is his favorite place and he found it completely by accident. He loves being down in the city and around all the people, but there’s something nice about seeing things from this perspective too. It’s like he can just disconnect for a while. Turn off his phone. Read or listen to music. Just be totally alone. It’s how he works through a problem or gets the perspective he needs.

“I can’t believe you’re sharing it with me,” you admit and his eyes light up with his smile.

“I just thought, after last night, you might appreciate having a place to get away from it all,” Joshua says.

You want to say something, anything, really, to acknowledge what Joshua just said. Try to say something. Your throat doesn’t want to cooperate, it seems. Your brain, either. In fact, all you can manage to do is turn away to hide the tears. Joshua is observant, though. He doesn’t say anything, just pulls you into his chest and runs his hand along your back. He quietly soothes you as you cry out a lot of emotions you didn’t even realize you were experiencing.

And something about him comforting you, this near stranger who doesn’t actually owe you anything, sets you off more. In the early days of your relationship with Johnny, you know it was good. It must have been. Surely, it was more than a relationship between two people who had known each other for years with families that were intertwined. You don’t remember it anymore. Don’t remember him ever holding you like this without even knowing what was wrong. Don’t remember him taking you on a date like this just because he thought you would enjoy it. Since you haven’t seriously dated anyone since the break-up, he also feels like your only frame of reference. That makes you sad for an entirely different reason. Who loses it over someone just being a little kind?

“I’m so sorry,” you finally say when you manage to pull yourself together.

“For what?” he asks.

“For just crying like that and being such a mess,” you say.

Joshua shakes his head. Moves his hand up to your face and waits for confirmation that it’s okay. When you nod, he gently wipes the tears from under your eyes. “You have nothing to apologize for. What you’re going through with your ex, most of us could never even imagine that kind of pain.”

“But still, you barely know me and here you are trying to be kind and all I can do is cry,” you say.

“First of all, I think last night and the food I put together show I’ve actually learned a lot about you in a short time,” he says and you have to laugh at that. He’s right. “Second, I’m just happy you feel safe enough with me to cry. It’s not healthy to hold all that in. You’re not in this alone.”

That brings you up short more than anything. He’s right, again (an annoying habit, if you’re being honest). You don’t feel any hesitation around him. Nothing to stop you from crying if you feel like crying. That’s unusual, to say the least. Normally, you’ll do anything to avoid anyone seeing you emotional. But, this man you just met is different. He’s safe. You’re not sure how or why, but you know you can trust him.

“Are you free tomorrow for brunch?” you ask. Joshua gives you a quizzical look for a moment at the sudden topic change.

“Yeah, why?” he asks.

“I just need to send one quick text and then I want to do what you said you normally do here. Disconnect from the world and just appreciate the afternoon,” you say and find yourself smiling along with his smile. He really is so beautiful.

You: add one to the reservation for brunch tomorrow and i’ll call you tonight when i’m home

You switch your phone into Do Not Disturb before the response comes and turn all your attention back to Joshua.

Over the next couple weeks, Joshua slips seamlessly into your life and your existing friendships. Some of them, like those closest to you that come along to the Sunday brunches, know the whole story. It’s not like they would believe you had kept a relationship secret for that long, anyway. And it’s good to have a few extra sets of eyes and ears helping to sell the story. Other friends get the same story that your family and Johnny got. It’s not that you don’t trust them, you do. It’s more important to keep the circle of people who know the real story as small as possible, though, so that it actually succeeds. All your friends adore him from the second they meet him. The only surprise is how well Jeonghan seems to be adjusting to sharing your time. He wants to give you a hard time, yet he doesn’t.

You meet all Joshua’s friends and coworkers, too. It feels way easier than it should the first time you join him and his coworkers after work for drinks. They spend most of the time giving Joshua a hard time that he’s kept you to himself for so long. It’s easy to fall into step and you find that you do know him a lot better than you think. So, it’s just as easy for you to jump in when they’re giving him a hard time. He pretends to be annoyed, but you can tell by the way he smiles that he likes it. It’s one of those genuine smiles that makes his eyes bigger and brighter. Everything just feels…easy. Like this whole thing wasn’t actually a bad idea after all.

Your favorite part might be the first time you got with him to an Open Mic Night and get to see him play. He’s got that easy kind of confidence on the guitar. Like he knows he’s talented, but not in a cocky way. It’s his singing that catches you off guard. His voice moves over the notes with an ease that makes you wonder why this isn’t something he’s doing for a living. He’s got this way of pulling you into songs that you don’t even know. And he’s so kind with the people that show up just to see him play. They all seem just as happy to meet you and know that he’s happy.

There’s only been one part that’s been difficult. Not difficult, exactly, but not as comfortable as some of the other things. While you and Joshua talked through anything and everything to prepare to start a fake relationship, you covered comfort levels with physical affection. You both say you’re comfortable with physical touch, though he seems to seek it out more than you do. That includes at least some level of PDA as a couple. You’ve never really been one to just randomly make out with a partner in public, but you’ve never been shy about expressing affection either. It was fine, when it was all theoretical.

In actual practice, it’s been a little more difficult. The first time Joshua had pressed a kiss to the side of your head while you were out with people that didn’t know it was fake caught you off guard. It shouldn’t have, he asked before doing it and you confirmed it was fine. What you hadn’t been entirely prepared for was how it would feel when he did it. Or how it would feel that he was so casual about it, like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like it wasn’t making you rethink everything in your life.

Tonight, you’re hanging out with friends at Hyejin’s house. You and her have been friends since before you even started school. So, she knows what’s really going on with Joshua. Your other friends there, though, are mostly not in on it. Which is fine. You’re shockingly comfortable with the song and dance.

It’s not actually fine.

It starts the same as any other time you’ve been out somewhere with him. You’re sitting close together on the couch, thighs pressed together, with his arm behind you along the back of the couch. Periodically, his fingers play with the sleeve of your shirt. It’s an absentminded habit and you’re used to it. He’s usually keeping some sort of contact with you in a very subtle way. You learned right away that he did like physical touch, but it was rarely something obvious. One drink in and his affection got a little more obvious. Arm wrapped firmly around you. More kisses pressed to the side of your head.

Two drinks in and it changes again. He removes his arm from around you in favor of holding your hand. Playing with your fingers while he’s having other conversations, like he doesn’t even realize. Hand squeezing your thigh. Or tracing patterns into the material of your pants. Head dropping down on your shoulder when he’s not talking to someone else. And it’s definitely not fine. You’re nursing your drink, but even if you weren’t, his constant presence would sober you. Since you’ve just finally finished your first, you think maybe a second is a good idea.

It’s not. Joshua gets another drink, his third, and you decline. Instead, you stick with the water you’ve been drinking since you couldn’t even finish your second. You want to be able to respond, whatever happens. Respond to whatever new form of affection unlocks with this next drink.

“I hope you stick around, you’re my favorite of the partners that we’ve met,” Mimi announces to Joshua when he plops back down next to you.

You’re glad that you hadn’t taken a sip because it would’ve come out immediately. Mimi has been a friend for a long time as well, and you love her, but she doesn’t know the truth.

“Don’t I know it,” Joshua agrees, earning a lot of laughter.

“Have you met Johnny yet? I know you’re going to the wedding,” Taehyung wonders.

“Yeah Johnny showed up magically the night I brought him by to meet my parents, sister, and brother-in-law,” you say, regaining some composure.

“I think you traded up,” Joshua says, eyes laser focused on you.

You’re not so lucky this time and you just took a sip. You nearly choke. “Do you?”

“Definitely,” Joshua insists.

“I agree,” Jimin says and Mimi elbows him in the side. “What?”

“You’re going to the wedding,” she says.

“So? He’s a fucking tool,” Jimin shrugs off.

“Are you all going, then?” Joshua asks.

“A good portion of us, yeah,” Hyejin says. “Family connections, you know?”

“I wasn’t invited,” Mimi pouts.

“Want to come?” Taehyung asks and Mimi laughs.

“Tae, my love, you can’t just invite people,” Mimi says and shakes her head.

“I have a plus-one,” Taehyung says with a shrug. “I think we all knew I wouldn’t make it to the wedding in my relationship. But, Johnny still thinks I’m bringing someone.”

“Damn, okay. I’m in,” Mimi says.

“I’m not going either, my family ties weren’t enough to get an invite,” Jeonghan says without any sorrow in his eyes.

“That’s because of what you said to him after the break up,” Hyejin interrupts with a laugh.

“I don’t remember saying anything that bad,” Jeonghan shrugs, and examines his finger nails to show how little he cares.

“Remind me to show you what he said some time, it was fucking gold,” Hyejin says to Joshua.

“Do you have it saved?” you ask.

“I should have it framed, honestly,” Hyejin says. “Get you a best friend like Jeonghan, for real, for real.”

“Hey, that’s my best friend, get your own,” you joke.

“That’s a shame you won’t be there though, Han, I could’ve used the familiar face,” Joshua says.

“Like you’re going to be paying attention to anyone but your date,” Hyejin teases.

“Can you blame me? I still can’t believe how lucky I got,” Joshua says without any hint that he’s pretending. It makes your heart skip a couple beats as you try to catch your breath.

“Ugh, I’m so single,” Mimi whines.

“Maybe not after the wedding,” Hyejin teases.

The conversations devolve from there into separate, smaller chats. Joshua is back to tracing patterns into your leg. Without warning, he pops his head up and places a quick peck on your lips before dropping his head onto your shoulder again. He’s so nonchalant about it that you’re not really sure it even happened. You’ve kissed a couple times like that, quick pecks in public. But, it’s always been when you’ve talked about it. It isn’t until you look up to meet Jeonghan’s eyes that you know it all really happened.

Joshua, unaware that he’s just turned your world a little upside down, moves his head to look at you again. “You’re beautiful, you know.”

It’s barely a whisper and you know he’s not drunk. He’s not sober either, though. And you’ve had drinks around each other before. He’s just never been quite so glued to your side or free with the compliments. You’re also not usually so singularly focused on him. A fact that doesn’t go entirely unnoticed.

“Thank you,” you whisper back.

“I’m kinda hungry,” he continues in a bit of a whine.

“Well you were the one who thought skipping dinner was smart,” you tease him.

“But my little honeybunch,” he teases back. You snort and miss the way several of your friends watch the interaction because they know how you are about weird pet names.

“Try again, sweetheart,” you answer.

“Sweetheart, I like the way that sounds,” he says, distracted.

“Just a little longer and we can leave and get something to eat,” you say and he sighs.

“Fine,” he concedes and kisses your cheek, just barely a whisper away from the corner of your mouth.

About half an hour later, you say your goodbyes. Despite your suggestions, Joshua continued drinking instead of switching to water. It’s as fine as it can be, though. He’s just an affectionate drinker. He wraps an arm around you, slipping a hand into your back pocket so that he can whisper thanks again. You do your best to shrug it off and let him drape his arms around your shoulder instead.

The car ride is quiet, initially. You pick a playlist that he made for you after you first met. Something he seems to enjoy. You’re nearly back at his place when he says that he doesn’t have anything to eat. But, luckily, there’s a place around the corner that he loves that’s still open. He manages to place an order on the app, gets something for you as well, and pays before getting there. All you have to do is walk in.

“I hope you’ll come in and eat with me,” he says when you get back into the car.

You’re not really sure how to tell him that you don’t want to. Not because you don’t want to spend time with him. Or that you don’t appreciate him ordering something he knows you’ll like. No, it’s so much deeper than that. It’s that you don’t know if your heart can handle it. You’ve got a couple more weeks of this and your heart is taking a beating. All of this is fake. It’ll be over after the wedding. But, the compliments don’t feel fake. The kisses don’t feel fake. The affection doesn’t feel fake. Your heart racing is real, oh so real. You don’t need anyone to tell you that you’re in way too deep.

None of that comes out, though.

“Sure, sweetheart,” you say and hold your breath for a second. You hadn’t meant to say that when it was just you.

Joshua smiles over at you. “Really do like that.”

Does he know what he’s doing to you? Can he hear your heart hammering in your chest? Can he hear your breath catch? Does he know how insanely beautiful he is? Or that he’s all the more beautiful because he’s so unfailingly kind?

Probably not, because he gets distracted and starts singing along as the song changes. It’s welcome, but also a little devastating. His voice cuts through you in a way you’re still very unprepared to handle.

After another few minutes, you’re at Joshua’s place. He springs back into action and tries to open your door for you, even though you’re the driver. He settles for taking hold of your hand as he walks to his door, only reluctantly dropping it when he gets to the door.

His apartment is familiar to you, it has to be for this to be believable. So, he sets the food out and you grab plates. You grab a couple waters from the fridge while he takes the food over to the couch, bypassing the table. You sit next to him, leaving enough space between you that you’re not touching. Hoping he doesn’t think anything of it.

It’s useless, apparently, because he slides over to press into your side.

What’s worse (not that you thought that was possible) is that he picks things off of your plate and gives you food off his plate. Tries to feed it to you, actually, and pouts when you don’t let him. It takes everything in you not to beg him to be gentle on your heart. He doesn’t even seem to realize what he’s doing to you as he smiles and jokes. Doesn’t seem to think twice about playing with your hands or his hand on your leg or any of the things he usually does when you have an audience. There’s nobody here to see and he’s not usually this touchy when you’re alone. Maybe it’s the drinks.

“I like your friends a lot, you know,” he says out of nowhere.

“They like you, too,” you assure him.

“What about you?” he asks.

“I’d assume they like me as well,” you laugh out.

“No, I meant me. Do you like me?” he asks, eyes big and vulnerable.

Please, Joshua, I’m begging you. Be gentle with me, you think so loud you’re worried he might hear.

“I’m actually a little sick of you,” you joke.

“But, but,” he begins and dramatically throws himself in your lap.

“You’re the worst,” you say without any bite. Your hands find their way into his hair, softly running through the strands.

“That feels nice,” he says softly. “Can I just stay like this? I’m tired.”

“Of course,” you whisper.

“You’ll stay with me?” he asks, sounding like he’s about to drift off.

You’re sure he won’t remember any of this. Not because he’s drunk, but he’s on the edges of sleep. So, you answer in a whisper. “Always.”

Maybe he’s not the one that needs to be careful with your heart. Maybe it’s you that needs to be careful. You know that you could walk away. That you could just remind him that this is all fake and there’s nobody around to see now. That’s not what you do. So, maybe you’re just as much to blame.

Sunday Joshua: thanks for taking care of me last night Joshua: idk why the drinks hit me so hard Joshua: when did you leave? Monday Joshua: is everything okay? Did i say something stupid? Tuesday Joshua: i don’t wanna sound clingy but are we still getting together at your place after work?

Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you know that you need to respond. You know that what you’re doing isn’t fair to anyone. It’s not like Joshua can somehow read your mind to realize you’re spiraling. It just feels a little paralyzing. This is a weird limbo of knowing you might be in over your head, but still believing this is all fake.

Jeonghan: hey dummy i know you’re ignoring joshua so i’m coming over tonight Jeonghan: i told him you’ve been busy at work and i haven’t heard from you either but we have some talking to do

Leave it to Jeonghan. You had almost forgotten, with how well you’ve gotten to know Joshua, that it was Jeonghan who introduced you in the first place. Of course he would text your best friend when he couldn’t get a hold of you. Does that make you feel better? Not really, you think, because it feels like a real relationship in a way. Oh well, you can talk about it with Jeonghan. If he shows up, that is.

And he does, less than an hour later.

“I’m here,” he announces when he comes in the door.

“Thanks for knocking and giving me the chance to pretend I’m not here,” you call back.

“Your car is outside and you have your location turned on,” Jeonghan says.

“Right,” you answer as he comes through the hall holding a bag from your favorite take out place.

“At least I come bearing gifts,” he says.

“You’re an angel, do you know that?” you ask and reach for the bag.

Jeonghan snorts. “I’m gonna remind you of that the next time you call me a demon.”

“Well, Lucifer was a fallen angel,” you reason with a shrug.

“I hate you,” he says.

“I know,” you answer.

Jeonghan busies himself with taking out the food and making sure you have napkins. Tells you what he wants to drink when you get up to go into the kitchen. Calls for you to grab some utensils as well. By the time you sit back down with him, he’s flipping through a streaming service trying to find something to watch. It’s not at all what you’re expecting and you just let it happen. The two of you have been friends long enough to know you should just let things play out.

With some mindless show on in the background, Jeonghan talks about work and your friends and everything else that’s been going on the past few days. Like it’s been weeks since you last saw him. Mostly, he talks about how Taehyung has been blowing up his phone asking for advice about Mimi, which is actually news to you. Sure, you saw him ask her if she wanted to go with him to the wedding. What you had not expected was for him to actually be interested. Which he is, if his messages to Jeonghan are anything to go by. It’s been everything from advice about talking to her to what kinds of things she might like as a surprise. They would probably be cute, you think.

“Yeah, well, sometimes feelings catch us off guard,” Jeonghan says when you admit your surprise.

Damn. Did you really walk right into that?

“True,” you admit, knowing that’s the best answer you can give.

“Talk to me,” Jeonghan urges.

“About what?” you ask to buy more time.

“Joshua,” he says.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you state. That makes him fix you with a look.

“Clearly there is or you wouldn’t be ignoring him,” he says.

“We’re not really dating so I don’t owe him constant updates. I’m not ignoring him. I just have other shit to do,” you say without looking at him.

“Would you like to be?” he asks. That does make you turn to him.

“Like to be what?” you ask, though you think you know.

“Really dating him,” Jeonghan says.

It’s a crossroads kind of moment. You could say that you don’t want that. That would be a lie, though, and Jeonghan doesn’t like it when you lie. Can always tell the second you say something that’s not true. The truth is that you’ve spent nearly every moment since that stupid night at Hyejin’s place thinking about what you actually feel for your fake boyfriend.

“I don’t…know,” you say slowly and earn a smile because it’s not a lie.

“I was there the other night too, I saw the way it all played out,” he says.

“I mean, does it matter? This is all fake and soon, it’ll be over,” you say.

“Of course it matters and it’ll be over soon? Please,” Jeonghan scoffs. “I know he’s told you that he wants to keep you in his life after Johnny’s wedding. So, what? You’re just gonna be like okay, that was fun, let’s never talk again?”

“I don’t know, maybe,” you say quietly.

He rolls his eyes. “Try again, buttercup.”

“It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t like me like that, he’s just nice,” you say, avoidant as ever.

“He looks at you like he’d give you the moon if you asked for it,” Jeonghan snorts out.

“He’s just nice, Han,” you disagree.

“Maybe,” your closest friend concedes, a rare move for him. It feels weird all the same. “Whatever it is, text him back. He misses you and I don’t want to hear anymore about how he’s worrying he upset you.”

“He’s been worrying that he upset me?” you ask. Your heart constricts at that.

“Yeah, for some reason he actually likes your company,” he says. “Can’t relate.”

You smack Jeonghan on the arm. “Says the man who shows up at my place unannounced when I ignore him for a day.”

“No, I was just bored,” he argued. “And you’re way too stubborn to sort out your shit on your own.”

“I’m not stubborn, but fine, I’ll text him,” you relent.

“Now,” he says.

“What?”

“Text him now so that I know you actually did it.”

You roll your eyes at him, but pull your phone out anyway. Angling it away from Jeonghan so that he can’t see your screen. He’s such a nosy brat sometimes.

You: hey, i’m sorry. It’s been really busy and i had a lot on my mind You: wanna do something tomorrow?

The response comes right away and you ignore the smug look on Jeonghan’s face as you quickly make plans. If Jeonghan was anyone else, he would probably just let you be since he ultimately got what he wanted. But, he’s not anyone else. And he’s as caring to his friends as he is calculating when he wants something. So, he’s not doing it to be cruel, not at all. He just wants you to consider what you’re actually feeling.

You’ll never tell Jeonghan how much you appreciate him talking everything through with you. Never tell him how good it feels to get all the thoughts out of your head. To his credit, he’s not smug and he doesn’t tell you that he’s been right about your feelings all along. He just listens, supports you when you need it, and encourages you to keep thinking through everything that’s going on.

As a make-up for slightly ignoring Joshua (over your own internal freak out), you take him to dinner at your favorite restaurant. It’s this tiny little hole-in-the-wall that people seem to walk past. The kind of place where you couldn’t overspend even if you tried because the couple that owned it just wanted to share good food. The kind of place where they know everyone by name. It makes you feel instantly at ease.

Joshua doesn’t say it, but he also kind of can’t believe you wanted to show him some place that meant so much to you. All he could do was watch, with so much fondness, as you spoke to the couple about everything under the sun. Watch as you turned slightly red when they scolded you for taking so long to bring Joshua by. Smile as you promised the both of you would be back. Despite trying to pay, you beat him to it. Even leaving a massive tip because you insisted the couple had undercharged you. They made a big show of not wanting to take the tip and you only reminded them the cash would stay sitting on the counter. You weren’t taking it back either.

You don’t really think about it when you take a picture of you and Joshua to upload on Instagram. At least, you try not to. Later, when you’re home and winding down for the night, you pull the picture back up. It’s amazing just how happy both of you look. You don’t need to read the comments to know that you’ve never looked so happy in your life. Every part of you wants to pull back again. It’s overwhelming. But, Jeonghan’s voice plays in your head and instead you push past. Make more plans that could break your heart. You have to just trust that he won’t.

It isn’t until the weekend that you’re able to see him again because your schedules didn’t quite match up. That doesn’t stop him from calling you at night, though. Insisting that he wants to know how your day was, even if you can only spare a few minutes for a call. (Which never ends up being the case. You fall asleep on the phone with him twice. His voice is just so soothing when it’s all deep and soft.)

Again, Joshua tells you the date is a surprise. He can be a little bit of a demon, when it suits him. Sure, he likes to pretend he’s not. That he’s above the chaos. Then, he does something like this and he can’t really escape it. But, he’s so sure he knows what you like that he’s positive you’ll enjoy the date. You remember how that chat had gone, too. You were ready to go to sleep, but unable to say goodnight.

(“I have our next date planned,” Joshua says, voice soft to match the calm of the night.

“What is it?” you wonder.

“A surprise,” he answers.

“What if I don’t like it?” you ask back.

“You will,” he assures you.

“You sure seem to think you know me,” you joke.

“Yeah, I do. Don’t worry, you’ll like this too,” he says.

There was no point in denying it. That confidence sent a bit of a shiver through you.)

It turns out that the date is at a winery where you’re painting with wine. You have to ask him to say it again because you’ve only ever heard of wine and paint classes. Painting with wine is entirely new to you. It sounds fun, though, and you know how crafty Joshua can be, have seen all the projects around his apartment. So, even though you’re definitely not that artistic, you’re excited to see this as well.

Admittedly, by the end of the session, your painting isn’t bad. It was a bit weird to use wine in that way, but they let you drink as well. Which makes it a lot easier to just go along with the idea of painting. Joshua’s painting, on the other hand, is beautiful. Not for the first time, you think his talents might be wasted at an office job. You’ve seen the bracelets he makes and now you’ve seen him paint. You’ve heard him sing and play the guitar. He’s impossibly artistic in a way that should make you jealous. Instead, it just makes you more endeared to him.

You snap a picture of him and his art when he’s not looking and upload it before he can even realize it. It’s only when a notification goes off on his phone that he realizes. He doesn’t even say anything, just gets a sparkle in his eyes that makes you weary immediately. He’s busy tapping away on his own phone before a notification sounds on yours. Maybe you weren’t the only one to steal a candid shot if the picture of you laughing with a glass of wine in one hand and a paintbrush in the other is anything to go by. It’s the caption that really ruins you, though. Just a simple “think I’m addicted to her light”. It’s so simple and also so much sweeter than yours. You fight through the urge to run away.

Which lasts until you get home from dinner. It was the perfect date, truly. Joshua always seems to know exactly how to plan out a day so everything works. After sipping wine and painting, he took you to one of his favorite restaurants. Nothing too pretentious, just kind of unassuming. The kind of place where you get good food and even better conversation. It’s (mostly) easy to keep your mind off the way your heart keeps racing.

When you’re back home, you’re not so lucky.

Back home, alone in your apartment, there aren’t any distractions. Nothing to stop your mind from all the ways that it can sabotage your own happiness. Nothing to stop you from thinking about how nobody, not even Johnny, has ever planned out such thoughtful dates for you. Nobody has ever taken the time to really know you like Joshua. Even if you won’t admit it, he knows you better than anyone you’ve ever dated. Which is terrifying, since this is all fake. And he hasn’t even known you that long.

So, you do the rational thing and you pull back again. Answer his texts so that he doesn’t send Jeonghan over to figure out what’s wrong, but don’t make solid plans. Talk a lot about a work project that you really need to get done ahead of schedule so that you’re not stressing leading up to the wedding. And you throw in some easy suggestions in the meantime so that it still seems like you’re making an effort.

Lunch on a work day so that it has a set ending time. Which still tugs at your heartstrings a bit because he takes a longer lunch just to meet you closer to where you work.

An event where your parents purchased a table for charity because he’s in high demand with your family around. And he can’t be as affectionate.

His Open Mic Nights, but with the excuse that you can’t stay too late because of your project and he should stick around with his friends. You’ll get home safely.

Small little things that keep you around him and keep up your conversations while still giving you time to breathe. You’re sure that you’re pulling it all off. And then, the wedding is around the corner. The finish line is in sight.

You: I’m not going to the wedding You: you don’t have to come pick me up Joshua: what are you talking about? You: i’m not going Joshua: but it’s literally in a few hours? You: yeah and i don’t wanna go, so you’re off the hook You: thanks for everything, but you don’t have to pretend anymore

Even if you know you’re being a little petulant, you don’t really care. This whole thing was supposed to be about protecting your heart. Protecting your pride. Not showing up to your cheating ex-fiance's wedding alone and looking like some kind of loser. It was not supposed to be about your heart getting clobbered anyway. So, you’re doing the only logical thing you can think of. Ignoring your problems. Avoiding both the wedding and Joshua. What you’re not prepared for, though you should be, is the knock that comes at your door half an hour later.

Joshua is on the other side of the door and your heart actually stops. He’s got his tux on and his hair styled back off his face. His eyes are soft as they take you in, noting that you have your hair and make up done. Though, you’re still in your sweats. You got at least that far before you decided this was a stupid fucking decision.

“Can I come in?” he asks when you don’t say anything.

“Sure,” you say and step aside.

“You look like you’re getting ready,” he comments once he’s inside.

“I was, until I texted you,” you answer. “Speaking of, why are you here?”

“Because we had plans,” he says.

“Yeah to go see my ex-fiance marry the girl he cheated on me with. Oh, and for you to pretend to be my boyfriend so I didn’t look pathetic,” you say with a huff.

“You’re not pathetic. He’s an asshole,” Joshua says. He doesn’t swear often, so it catches you a little off guard.

“Well, whatever, you don’t have to go. So, I’m not really sure why you’re here,” you say.

“You’re being so cold. What’s going on?” Joshua asks and reaches out to you. Instead, you duck away from his touch.

“Nothing is going on. It was stupid to care what Johnny thought or to try and save face somehow,” you say.

“It’s not stupid. He hurt you and you didn’t deserve that,” Joshua urges.

“You really don’t know me that well. Maybe I did deserve it. Maybe I was awful to him and he had no choice,” you say.

“We both know that’s not true,” he says.

“Do we?” you challenge.

“Yes, we do,” he presses. “There is nothing you could do that justifies cheating instead of just breaking it off. But, I also know you didn’t do anything wrong. Jeonghan and I talked about it.”

“You spoke to Jeonghan about my relationship behind my back?” you question.

“What is going on? We’ve been hanging out for weeks and getting to know each other. I just wanted to know more about someone I was going to be helping. And I like knowing you,” Joshua says and you have to look away. You don’t need the reminder of how much time you’ve spent with him.

“Yeah, sorry about all that time we wasted. I’ll pay you back for the tux or anything else you had to buy to pretend to date me,” you say and he looks genuinely confused.

“I don’t…want you to pay me back for anything. It wasn’t a waste of time. I did this because I wanted to,” he says.

“Yeah, well, you don’t have to pretend anymore because I’m not going to the stupid fucking wedding. It was a really bad idea in the first place,” you say.

Joshua clenches his jaw and looks away. Like maybe he’s frustrated. “What is going on? Do you still have feelings for him?”

“For who? Johnny?” you ask, so insanely caught off guard that you forget you’re mad.

“Yes,” Joshua says tightly.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you bark out.

“Well? You’re being really weird and now you don’t want to go to a wedding that we’ve been planning on,” he starts.

“Yeah, which should make you happy, since you don’t have to pretend to be my boyfriend anymore,” you say.

“Because you’re still in love with Johnny,” Joshua finishes like he hadn’t even heard you.

“Oh my god,” you nearly scream. “I’m not fucking in love with Johnny. This isn’t about him.”

“So, you don’t want to go to the wedding and it has nothing to do with him? That doesn’t make any sense,” he says.

“No, I don’t want to keep doing this,” you say, gesturing between the two of you. “I don’t want to keep pretending to date you when I -”

You clamp your mouth shut. Unable to believe that you almost blurted out how you feel.

“When you what?” he challenges. “What? Is it that bad being around me? Is that it? Are you just sick of me? Ready to toss me aside?”

You laugh bitterly, not even able to appreciate the irony in the situation. “No, Joshua, I don’t want to toss you aside.”

“Then, what? What am I supposed to think when you’ve been pushing me away for the last couple weeks? And I have to act like I haven’t noticed all the ways you’ve kept me at arm’s length since we went to the winery. Why did you just decide, literally today, that you don’t want to go to the wedding after all?” he asks, rambling. He’s pacing in front of you. “Why are you trying so hard to get rid of me?”

“Because I don’t want to get hurt!” you blurt out. “Because I don’t want to go to my fucking scumbag of an ex’s wedding where everyone is going to be giving me these looks of pity or focusing on my relationship with him when all I want is this.”

“This? What?” he asks, coming to a stop.

“This, Joshua, you and me. Having this just all be pretend is breaking my heart. I can’t keep doing it. It was supposed to keep me from getting my heart broken. It sucks and I hate it and I just wish it wasn’t pretend. I don’t want to go to the wedding and have you be so sweet and kind and caring when I’m going to know it has an expiration date. That it’s all just been for show,” you admit. You turn away, clutching your arms around your center because you’re so tired. And so exposed. So vulnerable. It’s awful.

The tears won’t stop, so you don’t notice how Joshua has closed the space between you until he wraps his arms around you from behind. Pulls you back against his chest and presses a kiss into your hair.

“So, let’s stop saying it’s pretend,” he whispers.

“What?” you whisper back.

He turns you in his arms so that you’re facing him and gently brushes away the tears. “Let’s stop saying it’s fake. It doesn’t feel fake, does it?”

“No,” is all you can manage.

“So, it’s not fake and we’re not pretending,” he says.

“But,” you start to protest.

“I knew I was in trouble, really deep trouble, as soon as we left your parents’ house. I was just waiting for you to catch up,” he says as he gently runs a thumb across your cheek to wipe away a tear . Your eyes go wide.

“That was barely a week in,” you say and he just shrugs. “And I’d dumped all my bullshit on you.”

“I think that’s actually what made me like you so much,” he says. “It was supposed to be fake and we were trying to get to know each other well enough to pull it off. But, instead, I just realized you were actually perfect.”

“Perfect? I was broken,” you joke and he shakes his head.

“No, you’ve been hurt. Who hasn’t? You’re also strong, kind, funny, a fiercely loyal friend, and one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met, inside and out,” he says.

“That’s so, you’re so sweet,” you say and try to hide your face. He doesn’t let you. “You like me?”

“I’ve liked you the whole time. I did think it was a date, after all,” he says. “And do you think I’m that affectionate with everyone?”

“We were pretending,” you argue.

“I wasn’t,” he argues back.

“Our closest friends thought you were,” you disagree.

“And was anyone else there in my apartment when I was still being affectionate?” he asks.

“Well, no, but…” you start.

“I heard you say always,” he tells you.

“You did?” you ask, sure that it’s been your secret this whole time.

“We don’t have to go to the wedding. But, if it’s just because you don’t want this to be over with me, then it’s not going to be over. I’m yours for as long as you want me,” he says so earnestly it nearly makes you blush.

“Careful, you might get sick of me,” you joke.

He puts a finger under your chin so he can look you in the eyes. “I’ll say it again. I’m yours as long as you want me. I won’t get sick of you.”

“I…” you start and don’t know where to go. So you do the only thing you can think of and kiss him. It’s clear he’s a little caught off guard, but he recovers quickly. His arms wrap around you to hold you tight against him. It’s the first time you’ve really kissed him and you’re so screwed because he really is perfect at this too.

“So, do I get you for the rest of today?” he asks.

You take in his tuxedo again, for real this time. Appreciating how well it’s tailored and how amazing he looks. With a sigh, you say, “you know, it’s a shame to waste such a nice tux.”

“Are you…I thought we weren’t going,” he stutters.

“I’m probably gonna have to fix my makeup in the car, but why not? I want to show off my super hot and very real boyfriend,” you say and watch him choke on air.

“You can’t just say…” he starts.

“Damn, sick of me already?” you tease.

“You know I’m not,” he answers and moves to follow you.

“No, no. You don’t get to see me changing. I’ll be back out in a second,” you say.

You’re in the middle of shimmying into your dress when you realize that you do still have a lot to talk about. A lot to figure out. This whole situation has been unusual, though, so it probably makes sense that there isn’t a template. Once you have your shoes on, you walk back into the living room, prepared to say something, only to find Joshua speechless.

“You look…” he starts.

“You’ve seen the dress already,” you say and smile.

“Not on you. Not in person. You look amazing,” he says and crosses to pull you into his arms. “Are you sure we have to go?”

“Yes,” you say and swat him. “But, I do know we have a lot to talk about.”

“I’m not in a rush,” he says and allows you to step away.

“We might need to be in a bit of a rush,” you say, checking the time and gathering all your things.

“Let’s go, then,” Joshua says and offers his arm.

The wedding passes in kind of a blur. In truth, you barely even register Johnny or what he’s doing beyond the actual ceremony. The reception is so massive that it’s easiest just to focus on the people around you. Especially when you’re at a table with your friends. Thankfully, you’re not at a table with your parents or your sister. It does mean, though, that you’re sitting next to Hyejin, who has definitely realized that something shifted between you and Joshua. So, she’s trying to sneak in a question any time she can. Which is hard, given that Joshua is more attached to you than ever. And Hyejin doesn’t want to draw unnecessary attention to you. All you manage to let her know is that it’s real now and that you’ll fill her in after the wedding. (You’re also thankful that people seem to be cooing over Taehyung and Mimi since they’re the shiny new topic.)

It’s also nice to have Joshua there because he’s a built in way to excuse yourself from any conversation that you don’t want to be part of. It’s easy to just say you’re going to go back to the table. Or, in the case of a good song coming on, he’ll be quick to drag you to the dance floor and away from whatever conversation you’re stuck in. He’s a good dancer, too. You don’t miss the way Hyejin catches your eye when the first slow song comes on and he pulls you close to him. But, that’s a conversation for another day. All you wanted was to appreciate the way his hand felt on your lower back or your hand felt in his.

When it was finally time to leave, Joshua led you out of the event, arm around you to guide you. Neither of you were drunk, but you had still hired someone to take you to and from the wedding anyway. A gift from your parents to appreciate you “doing the right thing” and coming to the wedding. For the sake of the families. It made you roll your eyes at the time, yet you’re thankful now. It would be far better than having to take an Uber or trying to get a room at the hotel (and risking seeing everyone else staying there the next morning). The ride home also gave you the chance to talk. Really talk. Neither of you cared much that someone else was driving (and he had the partition up, anyway), as you talked about your feelings honestly for the first time.

As it turned out, you had a lot to say. Both of you. You hadn’t been nearly as good at hiding your feelings from Joshua as you had been at hiding them from yourself. He had hoped you were going to admit them to him after that night at his apartment. Instead, you avoided him. Yes, he knew that you had been avoiding him. You also weren’t very good at picking up on the signs he dropped about his feelings for you. He admitted that he could have just said something, but he was trying to be subtle so he didn’t scare you off. Trying to let his actions speak through more affection. You admit you were scared to think it was anything more than it actually was. Scared of your feelings. Scared of getting hurt again. Joshua completely understands that and admits that he’s a little scared, too, because you’re definitely more important to him than he was anticipating. He’s also confident that you can work through it together. It gives you a feeling of hope. Makes everything about you feel lighter. You see that relief reflected in Joshua’s eyes when they scan yours.

The car pulls to a stop and he gets out first. He holds his hand out to help you out of the car. You’re not really sure what comes over you.

“Come up with me,” you ask, but it’s more of a statement.

He hesitates, conflicted. “I don’t know if I should.”

“Why?” you ask, clearly confused.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to leave,” he answers and you smile.

“Then stay,” you shrug, “at least for breakfast.”

Without waiting for him to respond, you turn and head for the front door of the building. It means you miss the way he freezes in place, but you can guess at that by how long it takes before he catches up to you. He’s unusually quiet and still beside you as you go up the elevator and then behind you as you unlock the door.

“I’m gonna go change,” you announce after you drop your keys by the door. You look back at Joshua, appreciating him in the tuxedo one last time. “I’ve got some clothes in the spare room that should fit. They’re Jeonghan’s ”

You take the opportunity to breathe for a second, to let it settle in that you asked Joshua to come in with you and stay the night. Then, you set about changing out of your dress. Carefully clean your face free of the make-up. Brush through your hair and twist it back off of your face. Once you’re in comfy clothes and bare faced, you head back out into the living room. It’s odd that you don’t even feel self-conscious about Joshua seeing you like this, you’re instantly comfortable.

Joshua’s back is to you in the kitchen. When he turns around, you see that he’s put together a little platter of snacks. You also were right, the t-shirt and shorts he picked out seem to fit him well. Jeonghan is a little slighter than Joshua, but he wears most of his clothes on the baggier side.

“Thanks for the clothes,” he says when you both meet on the couch. “I was worried when you said you had spare clothes they were gonna be from an ex or Johnny or something.”

Your laugh is sudden and clearly catches Joshua off guard. “I wouldn’t have kept any of Johnny’s clothes. I gave them all to charity.”

“I’m sure he was thrilled with that,” Joshua laughs.

“They made a killing reselling them,” you laugh in response. “Wanna watch something?”

“Sure, you pick,” he says.

You start clicking through your saved list to find something that the two of you can watch. Once you settle on something, Joshua motions you over. Even if you want to pretend you’re considering it, you can’t. Every part of you wants to be close to him. When you slide over, he pulls you in tighter to his body and you fit like you always belonged there with him.

If you thought he was physically affectionate when he was pretending, it’s nothing compared to now that he knows you’re both in this. He has one hand running along your arm or the other along your thigh. Sometimes he reaches out to take one of your hands. Other times he presses kisses into your hair. It’s pretty clear right away that he’s not paying much attention to the show.

If you’re being honest, you’re not really either.

Everything is distracting. The way his fingers on the bare skin of your arm raises goosebumps. The way his kiss in your hair makes your eyes close in appreciation. The way he squeezes your thigh and short circuits your brain.

You can’t help it. You turn your head so that you can look at him. He caresses your cheek, so gentle. Runs his thumb across your lip. You’re holding your breath, just waiting to see what he’s going to do. When you feel like you’re going to go a little bit insane, his hand moves to the back of your neck and pulls you in. It’s exactly like the first kiss before the wedding. At least, at first. It’s gentle, but full of so much desire. It’s also slow, like there’s no rush to any of it.

The position is really uncomfortable, though. You shift your legs so they’re draped over one of Joshua’s. He doesn’t miss a beat. It just allows him to pull you closer. There’s something incredibly intimate in kissing him like this. There’s this weird contrast of desire and comfort. It’s heated, but also a little lazy. Like you have all the time in the world. Which you do, you think, now that you’re being honest about your feelings. When Joshua pulls back from the kiss, you chase his lips for a second before realizing that he’s pulled away. The way he looks at you nearly melts you into the couch.

“I don’t want to assume where this is headed, but maybe we should take it to the bedroom?” he asks. It’s cute, the way he’s a little shy. Like you didn’t invite him in to spend the night. Yeah, you’re in way over your head. At least it seems like he might be too.

You pull your legs back so that you can stand up. His eyes track your movements as you reach your hand back to him. He accepts it without a word and lets you lead him to the bedroom. Even if he’s seen your bedroom before, this feels different. You’re waiting for him to look around, but his eyes are glued on you. Joshua even waits for you to lead him all the way to the bed, so you direct him to sit on the edge.

Once Joshua is seated, you step between his legs and tilt your head down to kiss him. He wraps his arms around you so that he can pull you against him. There’s barely any space between you. It sends a little bit of a shiver as his hands run up your back and back down. The touch is gentle and caring. Like he’s trying to put everything he feels into it. Something about it just makes you feel so insanely safe.

He’s the one to break the kiss again, but this time it’s to move back onto the bed and grab your hand to pull you along with him. It’s easy to just follow suit and get comfortable laying next to him, bodies facing each other. The kissing picks up when your lips meet again. Joshua kisses you breathless with a passion you’re eager to explore. One of his hands rests on your hip, casually sliding beneath your shirt and caressing up your side. You press your body further into his and capture his moan with a kiss. It feels like you’re a bit drunk off each other.

When Joshua’s hand moves back down, you take the chance to throw your leg over his hip, allowing you to press further into him and feel how this is turning him on. Part of you knows that he’s still waiting for you to set the pace. Or that he wants things to be a little slower. So, you help him out and roll the two of you over so that you’re straddled on top of him. Putting his hands on your hips, you lean over to kiss him again. In this position, you can also grind into his lap. You delight in how he’s already getting hard beneath you, enjoy the way his hands grip the soft flesh of your hips.

He pulls back and looks at you with blown pupils. “Baby, please don’t tease me.”

“No silly pet name?” you tease him.

“Not when you’re getting me this turned on like a horny teenager,” he whines.

“You mean like this?” you ask, injecting as much innocence as you can when you slowly drag your clothed pussy across his dick again.

Joshua throws his head back, eyes squeezed shut, and grips you tighter. “Yes.”

“So you don’t like it?” you ask, grinding a little more.

“Fuck,” he hisses out. And somehow that’s the thing that almost breaks you. Why is that one swear so hot on his lips?

Without saying anything, you sit up a little bit, still making sure you’re straddling Joshua, so that you can pull his shirt off him. Your eyes go wide because you’ve never seen him shirtless. You’ve seen him in well fitted suits or shirts, but this is entirely different. His chest looks like it was sculpted by an artist. All your attention is on your fingers running along his chest and you don’t see the way it makes him a little shy.

His hands reach for your own shirt, playing with the hem like he’s asking permission. So, you move his hands aside and pull it over your head, leaving your skin bare as well. You watch him drink you in, feeling almost empowered by the desire you see in his eyes. He pulls you back towards him so that he can get one of your breasts into his mouth. The way he teases your nipple with his tongue has you clenching around nothing. You can feel how wet it’s making you and try your best not to squirm when he moves from one breast to the other.

“I need you,” you utter.

“I need you, too,” he says against your skin. His hips buck up into you almost involuntarily.

You slide off of him and pull your shorts down and he gasps that you don’t have any underwear on. It isn’t like you were expecting anything, you just wanted to be prepared. While he’s still a little drunk on the sight of you fully naked, you help him discard the rest of his clothing. The sight of his cock springing free, precum leaking out, has you wanting to get your mouth on him.

But, you’re realizing, what you really want is to feel him inside you. After so much tension and wondering, you just want to have this moment together. You want to be as close as two people can possibly get. You want all the intimacy and to be able to see his face. It’s this thought that pushes you back to the bed to lay with him.

Joshua repositions and runs a hand down your body. Lets his fingers run along your thighs and tease their way up to gather some of your wetness. Your eyes close as he runs a finger up your slit. It’s such a little amount of contact and it makes you moan anyway.

“Damn, are you this wet just for me?” he asks and presses a kiss into the first bit of your skin he can reach.

“I want to feel you,” you admit. Joshua makes you press a finger into your pussy, but you stop him. Confusion takes over his features.

“I thought…do you not want this?” he asks.

“I do, but I want…I want all of you,” you admit. “I want to feel you deep inside of me. I want to be completely ruined by you. I want to come together.”

“Shit,” he hisses, hand stilling against your body. “On one condition.”

“What’s that?” you ask.

“I want to taste you soon,” he says, pressing a kiss into your shoulder.

The thought of him between your legs makes you shiver. It’s almost enough to forget that you want this first time to be together. “Deal.”

“Do you have condoms? I wasn’t exactly expecting…” he says, trailing off.

“That drawer,” you say and point.

He rolls himself off of the bed to open the drawer. You’re not sure why you expect his hands to be a little unsteady when he rips open the wrapper and rolls it onto himself, but he’s so calm. Maybe it’s just you that’s a little nervous. At least, that’s what you think until you catch the look on his face. It has to be the same as yours, naked want mixed with a little bit of uncertainty. Everything else has been so easy with you, what if this is where it goes wrong?

“Just lay back,” he urges you, voice calming any lingering nerves. His voice drops to a whisper, like the next statement is just for him. “You’re so beautiful, every single inch of you.”

It makes your heart constrict in a way that you’re not really prepared for. It would be nice if your feelings could stop flooding in all at once like a dam breaking. It’s overwhelming. You do as he says, though, and lean back against the pillow. Joshua gently spreads your legs apart and takes another moment to appreciate you. He can’t seem to help himself from running a finger along your entrance.

Even though he would fully be within his rights to tease you, he doesn’t. He lines himself up at your entrance and looks to you for final confirmation. All you can manage is a nod. You know he wants to hear you, but you can’t bring yourself to form the words. So, he accepts the nods and slowly presses into you.

“Fuck,” you hiss as you adjust to him.

“Are you okay?” he worries.

“Feels good,” you say with a slight whine. “It’s just been a bit.”

He presses the rest of the way into you and then stills so you can get used to him. It’s really overwhelming. Not just because you’re finally feeling him inside of you. More so because he’s looking at you with more adoration than you’ve ever felt in your life. Like this is it for him. Like you’re it for him. It’s too early to be thinking of love, but you really don’t know if anyone has ever loved you so completely. You think he’s probably it for you too.

Once he finally starts to move, you know it’s going to be over entirely too fast. He starts with slow thrusts, testing what you want. You dig your fingers into his arms as a way to ground yourself. To anchor yourself to him and in the moment. When he picks up the pace, your mind goes entirely blank. It’s just the right speed. While you love the hard and fast fucking, there’s something so much more intimate about this kind of in between speed.

“God you feel so good,” he whines as he snaps into you again. “So tight and perfect.”

“You’re so - oh my god,” you moan out, unable to finish the sentence as he hits you just right.

Joshua moves one of your legs so that it’s over his shoulder and presses further into you, hitting deeper than you were prepared for.

“Fuck, Joshua, holy shit,” you scream out.

“Love the sound of my name on your lips,” he manages as his thrusts pick up pace.

You want to respond that you love saying it, want to say anything, but the thrusts are entirely too much. As if it wasn’t already too much, Joshua adjusts again so that he can press his thumb against your clit. He rubs circles in time with his thrusts and you think that you might see stars. You throw your head back, eyes pressed shut.

“Look at me, baby. I wanna see you when you come,” he urges, his own voice sounding ragged.

Despite wanting to focus on the pressure building between you, you do as he asks. Your eyes meet his and it’s that look that makes that coil snap. You’re coming hard and digging your fingers into whatever you can find to release some of the tension in your body. This might be the best orgasm you’ve had.

When you come back to this plane, Joshua has stilled inside of you. One of his hands gently caresses your face as he mumbles quiet praises. It’s so impossibly tender.

“It’s okay, sweetheart, you can move,” you assure him.

“Thank fuck,” he mumbles.

His pace now picks up to something fast and hard with one of his large hands anchoring your thigh to his body. Your hands grip any part of his body that they can reach and you relish the way he hisses when your nails drag patterns down his skin. Marking him so that he belongs to you. Just as you belong so completely to him.

It seems impossible but you can feel the tension building low in your stomach again. His thrusts are so hard that you feel like his cock might split you open and something about it just works for you. You hadn’t thought anything about him would translate to this kind of hard and fast sex, but it’s somehow better than you could have imagined. With him so focused on chasing his own high, you rub circles on your clit to bring yourself over the edge again. You tumble over the edge for a second time just as Joshua’s thrusts get erratic. You do your best to take over the rhythm before slowing down.

Joshua collapses on top of you, cock still buried in your pussy, and sighs. His weight on top of you feels like the best security you’ve ever had. Your hands find their way into his hair, gently stroking and scratching his scalp. As he comes back around, he presses his head further into your hand.

“Hey,” you say when he looks up at you.

“You’re perfect,” he responds and you can’t keep the smile off your face.

“You were pretty perfect yourself,” you say.

“Am I too heavy, I could…” he starts and you pull him tighter against you.

“Don’t you dare,” you warn.

He doesn’t say anything, just nuzzles his face into your neck. But, you know that you can’t stay like this forever. So you don’t protest when he gently pulls himself up and gets out of the bed. You’re right behind him, leading him into the bathroom so that you can get both of you cleaned up.

After getting cleaned up, dressed, and doing your respective night time routines, you and Joshua are settled back into your bed (on top of a fresh set of sheets). Although you’ve never been much for falling asleep cuddling, you can’t imagine leaving any space between you and him. When he wraps himself around you, all you can do is smile and settle deeper into his perfect chest. Honestly, every inch of this man is perfect and you’d be annoyed if you weren’t so helplessly attached to him.

And it’s the best sleep you’ve gotten in a long time. You wake up with his chest pressed into your back and his arm still wrapped around you. It sounds like he’s still asleep based on his breathing and so you’re just considering slipping out of the bed. He moves in his sleep and pulls you tighter against him, making you feel that he’s semi-hard again. You press back against him, almost testing if he’s really asleep.

He’s not.

Joshua’s hand, already against the skin of your stomach and underneath your shirt, moves further up to your breast. His hand squeezes your breast and then he brushes his thumb over your nipple. Your body responds to his touch embarrassingly fast, which only seems to spur him on. He’s got your nipple between his fingers before you press back into him again, wiggling your ass against his dick without pretending you’re doing otherwise.

“Good morning beautiful,” Joshua says in a raspy voice into your ear.

The warmth of his breath along with the pressure of him rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger has you suppressing a moan. In the quiet of the morning, he hears it anyway. He removes his hand from your breast and you want to pout at the loss of contact. That is, until his hand works down between your legs, roughly grabbing hold of your pussy through your shorts. He runs his middle finger through your folds, likely feeling the way your shorts are getting soaked through already.

“Feels like someone might have woken up ready,” he says into your ear, voice sinfully low. His finger is still slowly teasing you through the damn material of your shorts. Somehow that makes it feel hotter.

“I wonder why,” you retort, undermined by the way you squirm under his touch.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asks and stops his movements.

Your hand immediately moves to his. To guide him back to your cunt. “Please don’t. Want to see what those hands can do.”

His mouth is still by your ear, so you hear the dark chuckle and feel the air tickle you. He moves your hand aside along with your shorts as he slips his hand inside the fabric. His middle finger resumes the previous pattern almost lazily. You’re about to ask him to stop teasing you when he presses a finger inside you suddenly.

“Fuck,” you nearly scream.

“Is someone a little sensitive?” he teases. He’s a fucking demon and you would gladly sell your soul so he didn’t stop.

The way he pumps his finger inside of you is entirely too slow. But, when you try to meet his rhythm, he stops. Just when you think you might actually die, he inserts a second finger. It makes your back arch, pressing your ass further against his now very hard cock. He hisses and pulls his fingers out from you. As you’re turning over to adjust your position, you see him insert his fingers into his mouth. Holy shit. He really is the hottest man you’ve ever met.

Instead of letting you carry on in any way, he pushes himself up and repositions. You’re not really sure what he’s doing until he reaches for your shorts to pull them off. His focus is on you, silently asking for permission again. All you can do is nod.

“Told you that I wanted to taste you,” he reminds you once your shorts are off.

“Are you sure…” you start to ask before he cuts you off.

His head snaps up so he can meet your eyes. “I’ve been waiting to taste you for weeks.”

That shuts you up pretty effectively. What can you really say in response to that? Anything you might have said dies in your throat as he licks a messy stripe up your folds. He quickly settles, using one hand to keep you spread open for him, and licks into you. It’s all you can do to keep your eyes on him as his head bobs between your legs. You thread your fingers through his hair to keep him in place even though you know he’s not going anywhere. (And okay, maybe it’s more to ground yourself to him than anything else.)

It shouldn’t be surprising that his attentiveness translates this well, but it is a little surprising how well he seems to know your body. The way he knows just when to switch from licking into your cunt to flicking his tongue over your clit. The way he knows when he needs to add a finger and then a second. The way he can tell everything your body needs before you even realize it.

By the time he pulls himself up your body, he’s got you nearly panting from the build up. The kiss he presses to your lips is sloppy and a little desperate. Like you’re both totally fucked out. His fingers inside you keep a relentless pace as he hooks them, hitting that perfect spot.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you yell out, breaking the kiss. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire in an entirely different way from the night before.

There’s nothing in the world but Joshua and the way he coaxes everything out of you. The way he has you squirting on his fingers. You’re not even sure if the praise coming out of your mouth makes any sense and you’re definitely not sure what he says in return. It’s all you can do just to appreciate the moment.

You think that you’re going to get the chance to get your mouth around his cock now that he’s given you another mind blowing orgasm. But, by the time you get your breathing under control, you see that he’s rolling a condom from your drawer onto himself. He pulls you to the edge of the bed so that your legs are hanging off. It’s instantly stronger than you’re expecting from him and pulls a gasp from you.

Without even thinking, your legs fall open. Joshua seems to have found a bottle of lube, too, and spreads it over his cock. When he lines himself up at your entrance, you expect him to ease in like the night before. He doesn’t. He snaps his full length inside of you in one motion and you’re so overstimulated, but it feels so good.

“Fuck me, Joshua, oh my fucking god,” you say and clench down around his dick.

“Shit, that feels so good,” he hisses.

“You feel so good,” you moan.

“You have no idea,” he answers and starts thrusting.

It’s a complete haze from the moment you hear his skin slap against your own. Every coherent thought leaves your head. There is nothing in the world but you and him and the way you make each other feel. He leans over your body, crowds your space. Steals sloppy, desperate kisses. Praises you constantly and in broken sentences. It’s all you can do just to hold on, so sore and so unable to stop.

Your hands grip into the sheets around you that are completely rumpled. You try everything to keep your eyes on Joshua’s face. Memorize the way he looks when he’s concentrating. Appreciate how totally gone he is because you’re sure it’s the same look you have. Delight in the way his eyes get even wider when you clench your pussy around him.

It feels a little like he’s using your body to chase his own high, except there’s total comfort in that. All you want is for him to feel as good as you do. All you want is for him to get that release, especially since you haven’t been able to get your mouth on his cock yet.

“Harder Joshua, please. I know you’re close,” you beg and he obliges immediately.

Even though you’re trying to meet the rhythm, you can’t. It’s too erratic and too unpredictable. So you pull him down to you again and kiss him. Slip your tongue inside his mouth and let the kisses get as sloppy as they need to. You feel how close he is and only kiss him harder. He breaks the kiss for the last few thrusts, groaning as he comes. You’re right there with him.

(Later, he tells you that he’s never seen anyone hotter than you when you come. It would make you embarrassed in any other situation. But, you realize that you’ve never been with anyone that’s come close to him, so maybe it’s okay to accept his praise. Maybe you deserve it. Maybe this is the person that you’ve been waiting for.)

Now, you really do have to get up and clean up. As tempting as Joshua’s offer to shower together is, you don’t want it to turn into shower sex because that’s just not sexy (or practical). Neither one of you can seem to guarantee keeping their hands off the other. Instead, you tell him that he can use the shower in your guest room. It’s fully stocked and there are still more spare clothes in there. He insists that he should get some laundry going because you must be running out of clean sheets and you definitely made a mess.

With Joshua cleaning up some around the house, you’re the first out of the shower and dressed. Pleasantly sore in the kind of way you really enjoy. You’re sitting on the couch and scrolling through your phone, trying to decide if you want to order food or just cook what you already have. Before you can make a decision, there’s a knock at the door. It’s impossible to guess who it could be. Even Jeonghan wouldn’t bother you like this. Although he’s been texting asking for an update after you told him you finally got your shit together, he wouldn’t show up like this.

When you open the door, you’d give anything for it to just be Jeonghan. Instead, you see a face that you’ve been seeing entirely too much lately.

“What are you doing here, Johnny?” you ask with a heavy sigh.

“I need to talk to you,” he says.

“Why?” you ask.

“Come on, don’t be like that,” he pleads.

“Johnny, it’s the day after your wedding. What the fuck are you doing on my doorstep?” you ask, arms crossed.

“Are you really going to make me do this in the hallway?” he asks.

“I don’t see any reason to invite you inside,” you retort.

“It’s about your, uh, boyfriend,” Johnny says a little awkwardly.

“Joshua?” you ask because that actually piques your interest a bit.

“Can I come in?” he asks.

“No. What about Joshua?” you ask.

“This is really awkward. It would be better if we were sitting down…” Johnny starts.

“My little honeybun, is everything okay?” Joshua asks from inside the apartment. He must be out of the shower.

“Babe, we talked about the pet names,” you remind him as he joins you at the door.

“Oh, uh, I wasn’t expecting him to be here,” Johnny says.

“I’m her boyfriend, so I know why I’m here. What are you doing here?” Joshua says without hiding any disdain. "Are you really her boyfriend, though?" Johnny challenges. You stiffen almost imperceptibly, but Joshua must notice it because he wraps an arm around you protectively. "Of course I am. Why are you here?"

“I needed to talk to her,” Johnny says stiffly.

“About you, apparently,” you say with your eyes on Joshua.

“Right, so can you give us a minute?” Johnny asks with his eyes on Joshua.

“No, he can’t. If you have something to say, just say it. Then you can leave us alone,” you say.

“Fine, if you really want it to be like this, fine,” Johnny says. “I knew he looked familiar when I saw him at your parents’ house with you. It just took me a while. I ran into him at a couple of functions back when I was in college and traveling all around for my dad.”

“Okay? And? I’m sorry, but I’m not sure why I care,” you say even though you know where he’s going.

“He was always with older women,” Johnny presses.

“Can you just make your point so we can get back to our day?” Joshua asks.

“Fine,” Johnny says, irritated. “The whispers were that women paid him to come to the events with them. That he was selling himself to them.”

You actually snort at the phrasing. It takes you several seconds to compose yourself. You wonder what the point of Johnny doing this and if it’s his way of trying to keep you on the hook. Then you realize that you don’t really care what he does. For the first time in forever, you’re genuinely happy.

“I’m glad you think this is funny,” Johnny says.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I know how Joshua helped pay for his education. And like why am I going to give him a hard time over seizing an opportunity? There’s nothing wrong with profiting off of someone wanting his company platonically,” you say.

“You’re assuming he wasn’t also sleeping with them,” Johnny says, a little stubborn.

“No, I’m not assuming. I know he wasn’t because we’ve talked about this. He told me all about it without even being prompted. And unlike certain people in my life, I have absolutely no reason to doubt him. I know I can actually trust him,” you say. “It was also years before we met. We’ve all got history.”

“Nice dig,” he says.

“It’s not a dig, Johnny. Not everything is a slight,” you say with a sigh. “Where does Gabby think you are?”

“What?” Johnny asks.

“Your wife,” you clarify. “Where does she think you are?”

“Oh, well, that’s not important. I just said I had some errands to take care of,” Johnny says and you roll your eyes.

“We’re done, Johnny,” you say.

“Wait,” he says as you’re moving to shut the door. “I know I fucked up, but…”

“There’s no buts. Not anymore,” you say. “Maybe there was a point where I’d want to hear the buts and the apologies and all that. I’m happy now, though, and you can’t even tell your wife that you came to see your ex-fiancee the day after your wedding.”

“It’s not like…” he starts and you start to close the door at the same time.

“It’s exactly like that. Goodbye, Johnny,” you say.

The second you close the door, you feel a giant weight lifted off you. You just feel tired. It’s obvious that there aren’t any feelings there anymore, so him pretending he cares as a pretense to see you just feels irritating.

“Are you okay?” Joshua asks, eyes raking over you.

“Yeah, I’m good,” you say.

“You sure?” he asks.

“Yeah, really. I think I knew when I saw him at my parents’ house that time you came over for dinner that I was completely over it,” you say. “I’m sorry he tried to bring something like that up or make it a big deal.”

“I don’t care. It’s like you said, I did it and I’m not ashamed of that,” he says. “But, uh, I really wanted to thank you.”

“For what?” you ask.

“For defending me and for saying you trust me,” he says. It makes you a little shy for a second, so you look down.

“Oh, well, it’s not a big deal,” you say.

Joshua closes the space and tilts your chin up to look at him. “It’s a huge deal to me. I know we started pretending, but trusting me means the absolute world.”

“You make it easy,” you admit.

That seems to render him a little speechless as well because all he does is pull you into him in the tightest hug he’s ever given you. Your body fits into his like a puzzle piece. Which sounds sappy, even if in your head, and you don’t actually care. It’s the safest and the happiest you’ve ever felt.

“What?” he asks when you pull away.

“Nothing, I just think this is going to work,” you say.

Joshua smiles at you, that genuine smile he saves for when he’s at his happiest. “Yeah, I think so too.”

i hope you enjoyed this fic! let me know your thoughts 💕

tag list: @aaniag, @gyuminusone, @crepecakeu, @tinyelfperson, @dokyeomkyeom, @amoryeonjun, @miriamxsworld, @hongrizoon, @klecksstorys, @sunflowergyeomie, @straykidswhoo789, @holistic, @vanishingboots, @babybae-shisui, @matchahyuck, @sonybear40, @kimseokgen, @hyneyedfiz, @miujunhui, @graybaeismytae, @hyucksrealm, @livixxn, @sharonxdevi, @coupsystar8, @sana-is-ms-rmty, @pyeonghongrie-main, @naajaeminsgf, @beomesbabe, @magicshop913, @deletingthekisses, @lissiesykes (strikethrough means i couldn't tag, check your settings!)

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mingtinys · 5 months

Text

what dating seventeen feels like

pairing : seventeen x gn!reader

headcanons , fluff , misc

warnings : none

word count : 1.1 k

requested ? no

a/n: just a small collection of the things i love in life that i associate with seventeen

choi seungcheol

falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed. chocolate-covered strawberries. the kind of love found in romcoms. expensive dinner dates and champagne.

cologne that lingers on your clothes and bed sheets. tight, bone-crushing, hugs. his hand almost always under the hem of your shirt, skin to skin (it grounds him). him letting you win when you play wrestle. cute aggression victim.

having a rock to hold on to amidst a raging current.

yoon jeonghan

diving under a crashing wave to find calm, gentle, water. rollercoasters with big drops. feathers. lavender fields. leaving the theater and realizing night has fallen.

always saying the same thing at the same time (it scares seokmin). naps on the couch. sending each other pictures of weird-looking animals with the caption "you" or "us." partners in crime. braiding his hair.

having not only a boyfriend but a best friend in jeonghan.

joshua hong

warm blankets, fresh from the dryer. pancakes and orange juice in the morning. raw honey. the scent of freshly baked bread. scented candles and wax melts.

lives up to the gentleman title. opens doors, bides by the sidewalk rule, lends you his jacket, etc. acts! of! service!! fighting over who pays the bill (he's actually ambushed your waiter to pay before you can even see the check). domestic, mundane, slice-of-life type of love.

a honeymoon phase that never ends.

wen junhui

walking down empty streets without a care in the world. morning cartoons. clingy cats. ice cream for dinner. frozen pizza with red wine. airport liminal space hours.

taking pictures of sunsets to send to each other. doodling on his hand. staying up until 3am accidentally. back hugs galore. resting his chin atop your head. him getting as close as possible when showing him something on your phone (i'm talking cheek smooshed up against yours). sleepy jun asking for kisses every morning.

living life in the moment because you know the future can wait for you two.

kwon soonyoung

energetic snow days. sledding, snowball fights, building snowmen. energy drinks and all-nighters. watermelon sugar. summer bonfires. the ambiance of muffled music through club bathrooms.

zoo dates. always wins you the biggest prizes at carnivals. his favorite place to nap is your lap. sweaty post-dance practice hugs. he gets pouty if you start a tv show without him. baking brownies at 3am. talks about you non-stop to anyone who will (or won't) listen.

excitement that isn't momentary or overwhelming. excitement that makes life meaningful.

jeon wonwoo

tulips blooming in the spring. waxing gibbous moons. amethyst. resting after a long, busy day. the scent of old, yellowed books. rhythmic clicking of a keyboard. warm, smooth, riverbank stones.

re-adjusting his glasses for him after every kiss. let's you design his character's outfits in video games. tells you about the book he's reading like it's gossip. he's always taking candid photos of you. quiet mornings. elderly couples who see you two are reminded of how they fell in love.

defining love not by how much it's said, but by how it's felt.

lee jihoon

thunderstorms that lull you to sleep. shiny, red guitars coming to life with smooth melodies. the crackle of a fire. rosemary. empty highways at night. lightning that strikes twice.

morning coffee dates at home. napping on his studio sofa while he works. quality! time! absolutely spoils you every chance he gets. pretends to act all cool when you catch him staring. writing songs for you. his hand routinely finds your knee when he's anxious. he prefers intimate and private acts of affection to the alternative.

cherishing all the little things that make your relationship important.

lee seokmin

wishing on dandelions. blue skies. morning dew on grass. golden hour. that burning sensation you get in your lungs when laughing too hard. iced lattes.

always asking permission to kiss you. so, so attentive. falling asleep on facetime. pillow forts. lots, and lots, and lots of nose kisses. him never wanting to leave you in the morning. "five more minutes" type of guy. his favorite feeling in the world is making you laugh.

finally knowing what it means to love someone so much you'd give the world for them.

kim mingyu

sleeping by a window with the sun warming your skin. hearing your favorite song on the radio. silky white sheets. first date jitters. first love. receiving a bouquet of roses.

admires you so, so, much. talks about you 24/7, much to his members' annoyance. (jk, they love you, they just like to tease him about it). literally a sponge the way he starts picking up your habits and slang. he's physically incapable of rejecting your puppy-dog eyes. likes to lay sprawled out on top of you. he'll often seek you out if he needs a little extra support.

the feeling that comes with knowing you've found "the one."

xu minghao

the autumn leaves changing. winter constellations. a solar eclipse. the quiet of a house before everyone wakes. those cozy granny-square blankets. white wine. laughing at scary movies.

wine and painting nights. him always making two cups of tea. art museum dates. swaying together to music in the kitchen. him secretly being a sucker for your doting. has your mannerisms memorized and prides himself on it. somehow always knows what to say when you're feeling down.

growing, learning, and experiencing life alongside each other.

boo seungkwan

warm, summer air. mystery flavored lollipops that somehow taste like every flavor all at once. rosy red cheeks.

teasing each other and inside jokes. nicknames like loser, stupid-head, idiot etc. (affectionate). hours long gossip sessions. kisses that taste of coffee and tangerine chapstick. stars in his eyes whenever you're doing literally anything. having his undivided attention.

resident happy pill and mood-maker seungkwan knowing he can let his mask fall around you without judgement.

hansol vernon chwe

watching city lights blur past in the passenger seat of a car at night. cereal at 1am. falling asleep while watching tv. poorly handmade, yet meaningful gifts. assorted candies. buying road trip snacks.

communicating with a single look. ice cream dates in the middle of winter. speaking purely in movie and tiktok references. late-night conversations that take a weird turn. (you've once debated if aliens would like pineapple on pizza). pretending not to notice how shy he gets when initiating physical affection.

loving the strange, bad, and hidden parts of each other as much as the good.

lee chan

the comforting buzz and motion of a subway at night. toothy smiles. watching reruns of your favorite childhood show. surprise parties. the first snow of the new year. concert lights.

driving at 2am, singing at the top of your lungs. random dance parties in the living room. getting noise complaints and giggling about it. pillow fights and board games, competitive, yet both trying to let the other win cause it'll make them happy. asking him to open jars. him getting exceptionally giddy to open said jars. (you're completely capable, but know he likes to feel needed).

making each other's inner child feel safe.

1K notes · View notes

sweetlemontart · 1 year

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call me by his name | yoon jeonghan [M]

summary ⇾ to you, one of jeonghan's most admirable trait is his candid nature. he's straightforward with most people—if he's angry, they'll definitely know. but with you? he'd rather swim the ocean day and night than take his anger out on you. well, that is, of course, unless you ask him to.

PAIRING // yoon jeonghan x fem!reader

GENRE // explicit smut, established relationship, some fluff, mostly smut, sub!reader, jeonghan tries to be angry hard!dom but is actually a soft!dom cause he's too in love with mc, not much plot tbh mostly just smut

WARNING // 18+, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, oral sex and fingering (f receiving), degradation, choking, hair pulling, some spanking, creampie, slight dacryphilia, orgasm denial(?) ig, mentions of mc's past relationship with ex!seungcheol

WORD COUNT // 8.6k

AUTHOR’S NOTE // me casually coming back on here and posting after almost 2 years of radio silence (ꈍᴗꈍ)♡ btw this is my very first svt fic hehe i started liking them like a month ago? watching going svt is the only thing keeping me sane during my second year of uni :') i love jeonghan and all his manipulating mind games & cheating ways, it's the most attractive thing to me !! might drop a wonwoo fic soon too bcs he's a cutie and his wip is coming along nicely. hope u guys have been doing good hehe do like and reblog if u enjoy reading this, song rec is blue foundation - eyes on fire (skeler remix)

masterlist link

Jeonghan isn't a particularly placid man. He's not excessively ill-tempered per se, but he is remarkably patient when it comes to you. You know how he is when he's angry, and you can't recall a single time when you've been on the receiving end of his wrath.

When something ticks him off, his eyes will darken and the heated stare he gives is shrouded beneath his lashes. When he is truly livid, he'll usually walk away from the situation, and there'll be no room for anyone to say something they'll end up regretting later on.

It's incredible, really, that he possesses the ability to bottle his anger up when it involves you. Anger is an emotion that can rarely be suppressed, but Jeonghan does it with remarkable ease.

On any other day, perhaps you'd appreciate his effort to control his anger, but not tonight. You've made a serious mistake, one that goes against the one thing Jeonghan had explicitly stated from the start of your relationship—keeping secrets is a recipe for a failed relationship, so if you have something important to say, just say it. Jeonghan is a great boyfriend. He gives you the freedom and privacy to do things you want to do, but this particular boundary was crystal clear, and you just crossed it.

It was your fault, really. You had broken up with Choi Seungcheol only a year prior to dating Jeonghan. The break-up had been a mutual agreement, and there were no hard feelings involved. Over time, you gradually drifted apart and had minimal to no contact until... well, two weeks ago.

It had been at a dinner party hosted by one of your acquaintances, someone who just happened to be Seungcheol's cousin. Jeonghan hadn't been able to accompany you, so you hadn't been able to introduce him to Seungcheol. Meeting Seungcheol again after more than a year hadn't been awkward. It was like meeting up with an old friend.

Tonight, however, the universe seems like it's conspiring against you. You had been preparing dinner when you heard a notification chime on your phone. You had haphazardly tossed your phone onto the living room couch before cooking, and your boyfriend just happened to be doing his Lego in the living room, so you called out to him to check the notification.

There was shuffling in the living room as he stood. When he strolled into the kitchen, his eyebrows were furrowed in confusion as he held your phone in one hand, eyes fixed on the screen. "Who's Choi Seungcheol and why is he asking to catch up over lunch?"

Fuck.

To be fair, you really weren't expecting Seungcheol to contact you after the dinner party. You had gone without contacting each other for more than a year, so what changed now? You had told him that you found someone new, so he definitely knew there was no possibility of rekindling your relationship. He was most likely trying to be friendly, but you understand why it would seem questionable to Jeonghan.

Contrary to what you expected, Jeonghan hadn't gotten angry at you. He simply listened to your explanation and nodded. He became quiet, a glazed look in his eyes that you couldn't interpret. Then, he sets your phone down on the kitchen counter and hummed. Oh, he was annoyed, that much was obvious.

"Okay, well, I trust you. Just... don't do it again," Jeonghan spoke with a slight frown, then walked out of the kitchen as though you hadn't just violated the one, single rule that you had both agreed to abide by.

Perhaps you've gone stupid, because as your boyfriend walked out of the kitchen, you found yourself trailing close behind him. A tinge of irritation slowly bubbled up in your chest as you watched him casually plop down onto the floor to continue doing the Lego set he had been doing since earlier.

"Is that it?" you asked him.

Jeonghan momentarily diverted his attention from his Lego to meet your gaze. He blinked a few times. "I'm sorry?"

"You just... you're not even getting angry at me?"

"Um, am I supposed to be angry at you?"

You were taken aback by his response because it suddenly occurred to you just how silly you sounded. Did you really want him to get angry at you?

"Yes?"

Jeonghan nodded wordlessly, seemingly mulling over something in his head.

"I made a mistake, you should be mad at me."

There was a pregnant pause before he chuckled, but there was nothing humorous about it. If anything, it sounded a little... sinister. "You want me to get mad at you, baby? Want me to show you how I'm really feeling?"

You swallowed. Suddenly, you felt small under the weight of his unyielding stare. You shouldn't have nodded, shouldn't have ever said anything about it at all, because now, Jeonghan has you on the bed, doing the one thing you had practically begged him to do—take his anger out on you.

"G-God, please..." You're not sure what it is you're begging for. It's hard to think straight when Jeonghan is between your legs, lapping at your dripping cunt with his tongue. He had warned you not to touch him, but after several attempts of burying your fingers into his silky hair, he decided to take matters into his own hand, grabbing both of your wrists in one hand and pinning them to your heaving chest.

Your fingers continuously curl and uncurl against your chest, desperately trying to grab at something to ground yourself. The pleasure coursing through you makes your head spin, your mouth feeling as dry as cotton as you continue to chant your boyfriend's name.

Jeonghan hums against you, mouth suckling at your swollen bundle of nerves. Your jaw drops open at the feeling, eyes screwing shut as you let a moan slip past your lips. He repeats the cycle a few more times—kissing, sucking, licking—until you feel the familiar knot tightening in your stomach.

To your disappointment, Jeonghan withdraws his mouth from you but is quick to replace it with his fingers. He's familiar with your body by now, knowing what gives you the most pleasure and which spots to press to have you coming undone in minutes.

He's rubbing tight circles into your clit with his thumb, middle and ring fingers ghosting over your hole, not dipping in, only lingering there to serve as a reminder of the control he has over you. "Keep your hands there," he says, squeezing at your wrists once as a warning. Then he lets go of your hands and settles his palm on the inside of your thigh, spreading you open further.

"Jeonghan..." you whimper, legs beginning to shake as the telltale sign of your climax begins to show.

"I need you to cum on my fingers once before you can have my cock," he says, voice coming out huskier than normal.

Straining your neck, you peer down at your boyfriend with half-lidded eyes, only to feel a rush of heat in your stomach when you see that he's already looking at you. In the dim light of your bedside lamp, you can just make out his blown-out pupils, almost obscured beneath the strands of dark hair falling over his forehead. His lips curl up into a wicked smirk, and your focus shifts from his eyes to the way his mouth glistens with your wetness. It feels so shameful, but the sight only makes you drip even more.

"My angel wants me to be angry at her, right?" he asks you, pressing down harder on your clit, which makes you yelp with surprise, head dropping back onto your pillow.

"Don't stop, please, I'm cumming... F-Fuck!" It's all you manage to say as you begin to writhe under Jeonghan's hold.

He clicks his teeth in disapproval when you shift your hands from your chest to your sides, fingers tightly grabbing at the bedsheet, twisting at it recklessly. He lets it slide, however, knowing you're trying your best not to touch him like he knows you so desperately want to.

His ring finger dips into your hole just slightly, and the stretch isn't much, but it makes you keen anyway, breath catching in your throat as he plunges it deeper and deeper until it reaches his knuckle. He doesn't move it after that, keeping it buried there as he continues to play with your clit.

"I've barely even started and you're already like this," he says in a mocking tone, teasingly biting down at your plush thigh. "Go ahead and cum for me, then. Show me how much you want my cock, baby..."

Your body caves to his words. The knot in your stomach snaps, and you cum with a loud moan that you don't even attempt to hide. Without warning, Jeonghan promptly replaces his thumb on your clit with his mouth, sucking hard, prolonging the pleasure. He doesn't mind the way your whole body is trembling or the way your thighs try to snap shut.

"H-Hannie, fuck... fuck..."

The way you're mumbling out incoherent words only makes the blood rush down to his cock. He's painfully hard in his pants, wanting nothing more than to sink himself right into your tight pussy. It's getting increasingly difficult to think with his head than his dick. His self-restraint is starting to fray at the edge.

"That's it, baby..." he mumbles, removing his ring finger from inside you, grinning when your hole tries to suck the digit back in.

With his index and middle finger, Jeonghan spreads your pussy lips apart, ignoring your whine of protest as he continues to stare at your soaked cunt. It's humiliating to be so exposed and vulnerable like this, but why do you enjoy it so much?

Jeonghan snickers, warm breath hitting your bare pussy. "Baby, I wish you could see yourself right now. Your cute pussy is clenching around nothing."

With a sheepish whine, you splay your hands over your face, feeling your cheeks burn with embarrassment. "Hannie..." you grumble, hoping he would show you some compassion and stop teasing. But of course, Yoon Jeonghan wouldn't just stop there. You should know better by now that there is no one in the world more cunning and sly than your boyfriend.

Jeonghan pushes himself up into a sitting position, sighing when he sees the way you've covered your face. He doesn't like it when you hide from him but surprisingly doesn't say anything about it.

When you feel him shift on the bed, your curiosity gets the best of you. Peering cautiously through the gaps of your fingers, you're left dumbfounded at the sight of your boyfriend tugging his shirt over his head. The wisps of his dark hair that had been snagged by the shirt are left askew, and the view would be endearing if it wasn't for the devious look in his eyes as he looks at you.

Then he stands, and for a second, you're afraid he might leave you there. It wouldn't be unlike Jeonghan to suddenly leave. He's unpredictable, always trying to be a step ahead of everyone. This time, however, all he does is stand by the end of the bed, eyes roaming over your exposed figure as if trying to determine the next course of action that will deliver the most favourable outcome for him. Damn him and his mind games.

With slow movement, you press your legs together, concealing your most intimate part from your boyfriend. He shakes his head in disapproval, but you make no move to rectify your mistake. It's impossible not to hide from him when he's looking down at you as though he wants to devour you inch by inch—like a lion ogling at a wounded deer.

Very slowly, he begins to undo the string of his sweatpants. It aggravates you to see how composed he is, movements unhurried as if he doesn't see just how much you need him. Surely he notices how your eyes rove over his bare torso, committing to memory every little detail about his body even if you've seen it myriad times before. He's not particularly muscular; he's more lean than anything, elegant, and refined in all the right places. It only makes the waiting feel even more agonising.

"Don't tease, Hannie, please," you plead, your pulse quickening when he finally steps out of his pants.

"Don't tease? Aw, princess, you were the one getting all friendly with your ex, and now you want me to treat you like a good girl who hasn't been whoring around behind my back?" His tone is condescending, sending a surge of electricity up your spine.

You're suddenly reminded of what landed you in the current predicament in the first place. You want to explain and justify yourself, but you're rendered speechless when Jeonghan sweeps a hand down over his torso, eventually wrapping around his hard cock. He tugs once, twice, hissing slightly at the much-needed contact, smearing pre-cum all over the tip and shaft, the ring on his pinky glinting in the low light.

Sitting upright, you're about to speak and deny his previous statement, but the words die down in your throat when he suddenly climbs onto the bed, slowly crawling closer to you.

You squeak in surprise when he grabs at one of your legs, tugging you down just slightly so that your face is parallel to his. Then, he settles himself between your legs, cock pressed against your stomach. He has you right where he wants you.

Jeonghan captures your lips in a kiss, wasting no time to slip his tongue into your mouth, tangling it with yours. You sigh into his mouth, tasting the remnants of your wetness on his tongue and lips. It's a pleasant mix of bitter and sweet, a combination that makes you feel dazed despite the fact that he hasn't done anything to you yet.

Jeonghan sinks his teeth into your bottom lip, relishing the way you mewl. He starts pressing wet kisses onto your jaw, trailing down to your neck and collarbone. "You smell so good, pretty," he mumbles against your skin, licking at your sternum.

Reaching a hand down, you grab at his hard cock, wanting nothing more than for him to slip himself inside. You're sure you're dripping down onto the bedsheet by now. Jeonghan, however, has other plans. You only get to pump him twice before he slaps your hand away, pinning your wrist to the bed. "Don't act like such an impatient whore..."

Your whine of protest trails out into a moan when Jeonghan suddenly wraps his mouth around your nipple. His mouth is hot against the sensitive bud, and the light grazes of his teeth against it makes you arch your back.

Jeonghan's eyes suddenly meet yours, hooded with lust. He's suckling so noisily, hips grinding into yours. It's so obscene—the way he's looking at you, the sounds he's making, the way his balls press down on your clit whenever he grinds into you. Feeling overwhelmed by the onslaught of sensory, you turn your head to the side, burying your face into your pillow as you huff out a shaky breath.

You should've known Jeonghan wouldn't be too pleased with this. He withdraws his mouth from your chest with a lewd pop. His hand leaves your wrist in favour of grabbing at your chin. His grip is harsh, but not enough to hurt. With a sharp yank, he forces you to face forward, where you have no other choice than to meet his eyes.

He clicks his tongue disappointedly, and your eyes flick down to his lips, red and puffy from sucking. This doesn't help your case at all, because Jeonghan immediately starts vigorously shaking your face left and right, compelling you to look back into his eyes. Your head feels dizzy, but you don't miss the look in his eyes. There's irritation swirling in them now, imbued with desire and the hunger to ravage your body until you're left a broken, muddled mess. It makes you shudder, legs squeezing tight on each side of his hips.

"You know better than to hide from me, right?" His thumb caresses the skin of your jaw. The touch is so soft, a stark contrast to the way he's glaring down at you. When you take a little too long to answer, Jeonghan taps at your cheek a few times, hard enough for you to feel the sting.

"Y-Yes..."

He coos, stroking your stinging cheek. "Mhm, but you're not behaving very well tonight, are you?"

"I've been good, Hannie," you assert, trying to maintain your composed front even though you desperately need him to fill you to the brim. You're aching, and you need his cock to soothe the pain. Noticing his sceptical gaze, you decide to reword your sentence. "I'm sorry. I'll be good, I promise."

Jeonghan is thinking about something, silently plotting something in his head. Fuck, you're screwed now. The intensity of his gaze tells you he's about to do something that's unlikely to be in your favour.

"You want to hide from me that bad, hm?"

You're quick to shake your head. "No, Hannie, I want you to see me."

Jeonghan scowls, pecking your lips once before sitting up on his knees. "On your stomach."

You frown, dread washing over you. He knows how much you loathe that position. "Jeonghan, please, no..."

Jeonghan's face remains impassive. "I won't ask you twice."

"You know I take a long time to cum when I can't see your face," you grumble, feeling your stomach churn, chest tightening.

"Who said you were cumming tonight?"

The question sends you into a frenzy. "Please, I'm sorry, I won't do it again, please, please..."

When Jeonghan has his mind set on something, no amount of begging or grovelling will sway him. He's glowering at you, and three seconds pass before you relent. Having his cock inside you is better than nothing at all.

"There you go, baby," he says when you finally shift onto your stomach. He's quick to straddle your thighs. "Wasn't so hard, was it?"

You say nothing, feeling sulky now that you can't look at your boyfriend's pretty face anymore. "Angh!" you yelp when you feel a spank on your ass. Jeonghan does it a few more times, rubbing the tender skin between each hit. The touch should be soothing, but it only makes your ass burn even more, raw from his smacking.

Gritting your teeth from the tantalizing sting, you bite back an apology, knowing it's probably the last thing Jeonghan wants from you. Saying sorry would only make it worst for you. He's testing you, pushing the boundaries to see how much you can endure before you break and plead for some semblance of his kindness. The longer you hold out, the better.

You feel him dip his head down, pressing his face into the crook of your neck, taking a deep inhale to breathe in your smell. The fragrance of your perfume and natural scent is exhilarating. He wants to stay there and breathe you in all day, fill his lungs with your sweet scent so that he can still smell you even when you're miles away from him.

A groan rumbles in his chest, you can feel it on your upper back, can hear it right beside your ear. He starts pressing kisses down your shoulder blade, digging his teeth into the smooth flesh.

"Keep your head down," he warns you, as though he knows about your urge to turn and look at him. He sits up, his knees on each side of your legs, willowy fingers kneading your hips.

You whine into your pillow, eyes brimming with frustrated tears. Your whole body is trembling, yearning to see him, touch him, tug on the silken strands of his dark hair. God, just the thought of it has slick gushing out of your throbbing hole.

"I'll be good," you promise him, voice coming out breathy, desperation bleeding through. "Just, please..." you beg, quietly moaning when you feel Jeonghan's hands on your inner thighs, spreading your legs just enough for him to comfortably press the tip of his leaking cock onto your cunt.

You hear him chuckle when your whole body stiffens, anticipating the moment when he'll finally fuck you full. He sighs to himself, looking at the way your pussy is all coated in your wetness, slick gushing out onto his cockhead as he brushes it over your clit.

"Hmm, but you only behave after you're caught doing something bad, isn't that right?"

You don't answer, unsure whether you should defend yourself or agree with his question. You gasp when you feel him slide in just slightly, stretching you out, tip prodding at your gummy walls just enough to make you feel the agonizing stretch. "More, Hannie," you mutter, practically drooling at the prospect that it would only take a roll of his hips for him to fill you up.

However, the delicious stretch never comes, and you're left there feeling stupid, panting with only his tip buried inside of you. You whine once, lifting your head to look back at him. Big mistake. You've barely craned your neck before you feel his hand pushing down onto the crown of your head, fingers yanking at your mussed-up hair, shoving the side of your face back into the pillow.

With a growl, Jeonghan leans down to press his lips against your ear. "What's with you today, princess? You've always been such a good girl for me, but you keep pushing my fucking buttons today. You want me angry, hm? Is that what you want?"

His crude words shouldn't make you feel the way you do, but when he speaks, his hot breath against your ear makes your eyes roll back, pussy clenching around the tip of his cock, desperate to suck more of him in. You respond with a quiet apology, voice quivering from the arousal wracking through your body. You crave him, ache for him like a desert thirsts for rain. "Need you..."

Then, as if he senses your distress, he decides to show you some mercy. Little by little, he slides into you, slipping in easily, aided by the wetness seeping out of your pulsating hole. He ignores the way you call out his name with a shattered gasp, slowly pressing forward until his hips are flush against your ass and his cock is snug in your heat, buried to the hilt.

You can feel Jeonghan's groan rumbling in his chest, and the noise makes your pussy clamp down on him tighter. You're fisting at the bedsheet, feeling relieved, desperate, and frantic all at the same time. God, why isn't he moving? You want him to fuck you into the bed, want him to ruin you, use you until you can barely remember your name.

Perhaps this is Jeonghan's way of taking his anger out on you—tormenting you until you're reduced to nothing but a sputtering, drooling wreck. Maybe he wants to see you plead, beg. Or maybe, he wants you to curse him out, chastise him, berate him for putting you through this torture.

Afraid of further repercussions, you decide to patiently wait, clenching your teeth to bite back from begging him to move. Seconds seem to drag on endlessly, and you resort to imagining the sight you'd be met with if you were to turn around. Would you see Jeonghan's face contorted into a mixture of frustration and hunger? Would his eyes be crazed and heated? Maybe he's enjoying the excruciating wait, peering down at you with an amused grin, tongue peeking out to rest against his lower lip just slightly. You're dying to know.

Then, as if he is satisfied with your unwavering determination to remain still for him, he loosens his hold on your hair, gently brushing the dishevelled strands back. His thumb extends out to stroke at the tendrils of baby hair stuck to your temple, damp with perspiration. "You want me to move, baby?"

The question catches you off guard, and for a moment, you have half a mind to consider saying yes, but a nagging feeling tells you it might be a trick question. Jeonghan must've sensed your apprehension because you hear him chuckle.

Without any warning, he draws his hips back, pulling out until only his tip remains inside before plunging in again. Your jaw slackens into a silent moan. The lack of stimulation has made your body feel so attuned to his, sensitive to every little movement. You feel the rise and fall of his chest against your back, feel his breath on your neck, and the ridges of the veins on his cock against your pussy.

"It's not a trick question, you know?"

You're quick to nod your head as best as you can. "Please move," you breathe out, feeling like you're on the verge of just turning around and demanding him to fuck you the way you both need it.

His hand grapples onto the sheets by your head, delivering another thrust into your cunt. His movement is languid, as though he wants to take his time. It's driving you crazy, just how collected he seems compared to you. Your body feels as though it's burning, lit ablaze by his kisses, touches, and every single point of contact between his skin and yours.

Your eyes zero in on his hand propped up on the bed, right in front of your eyes, honing in on the way the sheets bunch between his fingers and the way his ring sits snug on his pinky. Subconsciously, you reach out for it, fingertips digging into his knuckles, nails pinching into the skin when he thrusts again. The movement is more rushed this time, jostling you up on the bed just a little, which makes you gasp.

He removes your hand from him, hurriedly pressing your palm into the bed, cradling your hand from behind, his fingers sliding through the spaces of yours to intertwine them. The gesture feels so intimate, and it leaves you feeling disoriented. "Fuck, Hannie, so good..."

Jeonghan chuckles, peppering kisses all over your bare shoulder, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake wherever his lips meet your skin. "I've barely even started, baby."

Jeonghan pushes himself up onto his knees, letting go of your hand to place both his hands on your hips. He doesn't miss the way you groan at the loss of his warmth on your back, but he dismisses it. He pushes in once, twice, his gaze fixed on the point where his cock keeps appearing and disappearing into your drenched cunt.

You barely register it when Jeonghan hauls you up onto your hands and knees, lost in the thought of him, only comprehending the situation when he once again slides into your aching pussy. You make a strangled noise in the back of your throat, elbows buckling, almost sending your face flopping back into your pillow.

Jeonghan doesn't feel the need to take it slow anymore. His thrusts are no longer feeble, and his pace is steady. The sound of skin meeting skin fills his ears, mixed with your broken moans. It sounds like an obscene euphony, a harmony that makes his head feel foggy and hazed.

"Fuck, pretty, you're enjoying this, aren't you?" Jeonghan grunts, sneaking a glance down, only for his pace to falter when he sees the way your slick is coating your inner thighs. The view is so lewd, salacious, dirty, and messy. "My messy fucking baby," he mumbles, picking up his speed, eyes fluttering when he feels your walls tightening around him.

"Jeonghan... Jeonghan..." You're chanting his name like a mantra, eyes pinched close, savouring the feeling of being pumped full.

"Yeah... that's my name, baby," Jeonghan responds, restrain starting to slip, evident in the way his voice cracks just slightly at the last syllable. "Can you cum like this?"

You promptly shake your head. "N-No." It's not entirely a lie. You hate relying on your imagination like this. You want to be able to touch him, hold him, want to be able to look into his eyes as you let your orgasm crash down on you. You want to see the way his hair frames his pretty face, want to see his flushed cheeks and the sweat gathering at the dips of his collarbones. You want to see him, or you think you'll die on the spot.

"Good. Don't cum, princess."

"W-What?" you squeak out.

Jeonghan snorts out a laugh. "I told you before—you're not cumming tonight."

You gulp, stooping down low onto your elbow, too weak to support yourself up on your hands. "I wanna cum, H-Hannie... Please let me..."

Jeonghan only snickers, ramming into you harder, letting out a content sigh when your moans seem to escalate, becoming more wanton and desperate. You're squeezing him so tight, white ring of your milky slick forming a ring at the base of his cock, causing him to groan out loud. He'd like to think that he's in full control, but everything about you is making him feel delirious—your smell, your pussy, your moans.

Ever the competitive man, Jeonghan feels like he's losing this game. He's supposed to be angry at you, but why does it feel like you have the upper hand? Feeling irked by this sudden revelation, he stretches a hand out, wrapping it around your neck. He hears the surprised gasp you let out when he pulls you upright into his chest.

Your hands immediately fly up to circle around his wrist, taken aback by the sudden change of positions. His other arm slithers around your waist, keeping you balanced as he continues to fuck you from behind. "Fuck, Hannie, your cock feels so good," you can't help but murmur, arching your hips just slightly so he can reach deeper into you.

He scoffs, burying his face into the crook of your neck, placing open-mouthed kisses on the spot underneath your ear, strands of his hair tickling your skin. As he expects, your head lolls the other way, granting him better access to your neck. "Of course it feels good, baby. I've fucked you so many times your pussy is used to me now. Wouldn't be able to take another cock without thinking of mine, would you? Wouldn't feel so good if it wasn't my cock, right?"

His fingers dig into the sides of your neck, constricting just enough for you to gradually feel the drowsiness from the lack of air. It's intoxicating, being able to surrender yourself to another person completely, knowing they have you in the palm of their hand.

You're too preoccupied with the feeling of his hand around your throat to realise his other hand sneaking down to settle between your legs, middle and ring fingers starting to draw gentle circles into your bundle of nerves. It's almost too much—the way his cock slides in and out of you, the way his lips skim over your neck, the chokehold he has on you, the breathy groans he murmurs against your skin.

"Unghh! F-Fuck, Jeonghan, 'm gonna cum..."

He chuckles, delighted at the turn of events. He doesn't stop the motion of his fingers against your clit and instead presses down harder, making your head roll back onto his shoulder, a throaty moan spilling past your lips into the open air.

"Oh?" he says in a sardonic tone. "You said you couldn't cum like this. Or were you just lying to me, baby?" His mocking shouldn't have such power over you, but it makes your heart pound with the intensity of a raging storm.

"N-No, it's because you're... your fingers—"

"Hmm, what's with my fingers, angel?"

The fingers on your clit start moving faster, motions rushed and relentless, bringing you to the verge of your climax quicker than you would ever anticipate. The sudden shift in speed makes you cry out in shock, eyes pinching shut. You're quick to bring a hand down to his wrist, tugging, trying to yank his hand away from between your legs.

He doesn't relent, slapping your hand away and briefly resuming his assault on your aching bud. "Don't try to stop me now. I thought you wanted to cum."

"You told me not to," you rush out, heat starting to swell in your stomach, ready to burst.

Jeonghan lets out a chortle. "That's right, baby. Ah, you listen so well..." Stretching his tongue out, he licks a broad path up your neck, stopping right underneath your jaw, where he proceeds to suck the skin. He wants to mark you, claim you. What better way than to bruise your pretty skin, right? To show everyone only a sliver of what goes on between you and him behind closed doors.

"Oh, god, let me cum, please, please..." You have no other option than to resort to begging. Cumming without his consent would be catastrophic now. Not being able to see his face is punishment already to you, you're terrified of just how far he'd be willing to go to take his anger out on you.

Jeonghan presses the tip of his nose into the plushness of your cheek, humming as though he's weighing his options. "I don't think so, princess," he mumbles, the snap of his hips not once faltering, maintaining its hasty rhythm. "I don't think you deserve to cum."

You don't have much time left. Simple begging won't work now. You're wracking your brain for anything, anything. Forcing him to cum before you would be close to impossible, noting just how composed he seems. He's breathing hard, gravelly groans bubbling up in his chest, but he's nowhere near how wrecked you are.

Through your haze, you suddenly grow aware of the hand still draped over your throat. He's not pressing or squeezing, simply just letting his hand rest there as a means to keep you balanced on your knees as he fucks you open from behind.

Sheer desperation makes you reach both hands up to claw at the hand on your neck. You're clinging onto the last threads of your rationality, knowing if Jeonghan puts even the slightest amount of pressure on his grip, all your sanity will go out the window, and you'd be hurled face-first into your much-awaited orgasm. You're playing with fire, you know it, but you only have one chance.

"Unghh, f-fuck, please, choke me... I've been a bad girl, H-Hannie, choke me as punishment, and let me cum..."

You feel his mouth stretch into a grin against your cheek. Your walls are clenching around him so tight, pulsing, so hot and tight. He knows he has won. It's this notion of winning that has him thinking about giving in, but one look at your face has him reeling back his words. The furrow of your eyebrows, your slack jaw, your scarlet cheeks... it makes him feel sadistic. You wanted him to be angry at you anyway, what boyfriend would he be if he didn't give you any reason to make him angry?

Then, Jeonghan watches. He tightens the hand around your neck, and continues his assault on your clit with the other, all while he continues to ram his dick into you again and again. You start to babble out incoherent words, and that's when he finally strikes.

"Don't cum."

Those are the two simple words that send you dissolving into a whirl of pleasure and euphoria. Your ears feel like they're ringing as pure, white heat consumes you whole, moaning out your boyfriend's name repeatedly as you go rigid in his embrace. It's like shockwaves, rippling through you so forcibly you have no choice but to succumb to the raging tides, riding it out until you can fully apprehend the situation again.

Gradually, you begin to notice the way Jeonghan holds you tight to him, how both his hands wrap around your waist to keep your body pressed to his, how his hips have stilled, hard cock still sheathed in your throbbing heat. He's pressing soft kisses onto your shoulder, coaxing you down from your high.

Jeonghan lets your tired figure collapse onto the bed before sitting back and propping himself up on his heels. The sight is so endearing to him—you, still huffing breathlessly, hushed whines slipping past your lips at every exhale, so spent after only one orgasm. Jeonghan feels like it's so perverse of him to reach a hand down to stroke at his still-hard cock, touching himself to the sight of your curled figure. From this angle, he can see the mess between your thighs, remnants of your juices and his pre-cum smeared all over your puffy pussy lips. Oh, he definitely isn't done with you just yet.

He hears you mumble his name groggily. Jeonghan's not sure whether you're calling out to him or just saying meaningless things in your post-orgasm haze. He doesn't waste time thinking, though, immediately swooping down to cage you between his arms, kissing along your hairline. "Tired already?"

Your eyes flutter open, looking up at your boyfriend who hovers above you with a smirk that makes your heart skip a beat. Fuck, you're really in for it.

He coos at you, but it sounds sarcastic. "I told you to hold it, didn't I?"

You puff out a breath, shifting onto your back, obediently parting your legs so Jeonghan can slot himself in between them. "But your fingers—"

"Good girls don't talk back, do they, pretty?"

"N-No..."

He nods, eyes wandering downward, not trying to hide the way they zero in on your breasts. "No, they don't... But you're not a good girl, are you?" he asks, lowering himself to blow cool air onto your nipple, earning a choked gasp from you. Without any warning, he latches his mouth onto the skin at the top of your breast, sucking earnestly, not letting up until he's finally satisfied with the reddening of the skin there. He always loved to see the reddish hue of your hickeys turn into delicate shades of blue and purple as they heal.

"I can be your good girl..."

"No, no, baby, you're a lying whore who doesn't do as they're told."

"Hannie, I asked you so many times—"

Jeonghan doesn't give you a chance to object, immediately slanting his lips over yours. He pushes his tongue past your spit-coated lips, exploring every crevice of your mouth, letting his tongue tangle with yours lasciviously. He feels you sigh against his mouth, hands coming up to curl around the nape of his neck.

Reaching a hand down, he positions his cock over your entrance, plunging himself into your sopping pussy without any notice. It's easy to sink back into you—you're still sopping wet and stretched open from before.

Shocked, you break away from the kiss to let out a sharp cry, nails digging into his shoulders, threatening to break the skin there. "God, J-Jeonghan!"

He doesn't give you any time to adjust, quickly finding a rhythm that makes you arch your chest, pebbled nipples brushing against his front. You finally have the chance to look at him, really look at him. Fuck, you wouldn't trade this sight for anything else. He's the most beautiful thing you've ever had the privilege of seeing.

He notices your lovestruck eyes, cock twitching inside you as he pounds into you. He thinks you're so pretty, all splayed out underneath him, so pliant, letting him do whatever he pleases with you. Your hair fans out over the pillow under your head, thin tendrils of it clinging onto your dewy temple and neck. He understands why you love to see his face so much whenever you fuck—he thinks he could cum earlier than anticipated if you keep looking at him with that infatuated gaze.

"Fuck, baby..." he curses, and it's the first time you've seen him lose his composure. "Fuck, you're such a pretty little thing..."

Your body sings at the compliment, shuddering, legs pressing into his sides, wanting to close shut but unable to. You're light-headed, still sensitive from your previous orgasm, but this feels too good to stop. With quivering hands, you slip your fingers through his hair, tugging and pulling carelessly. He's growing his hair out, so the length falls just shy of his shoulders, some strands curling over his neck like delicate tendrils of silk.

Jeonghan's low groan pulls you out of your dazed thoughts. "Hannie..."

"Mhm, am I fucking you good, gorgeous? No one else can fuck you like I can, hm?"

You rake your nails across the nape of his neck, whimpering when he shifts just a little, hitching one of your legs up and hooking it around his slender waist. He thrusts a few more times, and his cock brushes against a spot that has you jolting, mewling as he grazes it repeatedly.

"Oh? Right there?" Jeonghan noses at your cheekbone, listening to your gasps and whimpers, feeling his abdomen tighten at the obscene sounds you let out.

"R-Right there..."

"That's it... You think Seungcheol can get you like this?"

At the mention of your ex's name, you whine loudly. A part of you hadn't expected Jeonghan to remember the earlier incident, but you should've known better. It seems stupid to think Yoon Jeonghan wouldn't remember an incident that occurred only an hour ago.

"H-Hannie..."

"Hm, you gonna meet him for lunch? Gonna let him try to win you over? Gonna let him have what's mine?"

You shake your head, on the verge of sobbing, feeling your eyes fill with tears. "Wouldn't do that," you rasp. "I'm yours, Hannie..."

Jeonghan doesn't seem very convinced. "Yeah? You're mine?" he mutters against the apple of your cheek. His voice is low, any traces of anger or annoyance concealed. "You wanna say you're mine, with his contact still saved in your phone, baby? Don't be silly."

Your heel digs into Jeonghan's lower back, anchoring him to you as he continues to drill into you. "But I am yours—"

"Are you?"

"Y-Yes, always yours..." A hard thrust has you gasping, tears trickling down your temple, getting caught in your hair.

Jeonghan's pace stutters, distracted by the way you blink up at him through your damp lashes. Tears gather at your lash line, and he can't help but want more. It's a sick thought, but Jeonghan doesn't care much. How could he care when he's balls deep inside of you, feeling like he's about to explode from the way your heat wraps around him so well? He wants to see you cry for him, sob, snivel, all because you can't get enough of his cock. He wants you to cum so hard you see stars and forget about everything but him, him, him. Choi Seungcheol will be the last thing on your mind.

When Jeonghan lowers himself down onto his elbow, he seals his mouth to yours, kissing you fervently. It's a bruising kiss, teeth digging into lips, tongue rolling together in an alluring dance. After some time, Jeonghan reluctantly pulls back, taking a much-needed breath. He groans at the sight of your lips, all plump and damp with a mixture of his and your spit. "Fuck, baby... you're mine, aren't you?"

"Y-Yes, yes!" you babble, vision blurring as more tears fill your eyes.

"You're gonna let me fill you up? Have your pussy dripping my cum for days so you don't forget who you belong to. You like the sound of that?"

"God, yes, yes..."

Your thighs are starting to shake, Jeonghan can feel it on his hips. He brings his lips over yours again, not kissing you, just barely letting it brush over yours. He can feel every hot breath you release against his mouth. "Say his name, baby."

"Unghh... Hannie—"

He snickers. "I said his name, not mine," he says darkly, pecking your lips once.

You're confused and so goddamn frustrated. You're teetering on the precipice of your orgasm, and he wants to play mind games with you now? "No," you whine, shaking your head.

"No? Why are you so scared?"

"F-Fuck, please!"

"I won't get mad at you for saying it, princess." His voice has dropped down an octave. It feels like it's seeping into your brain, turning it into mush.

"C-Can't..." you murmur, drool gathering in your mouth the more Jeonghan splits you open.

"You can't? Why? Scared you might cum if you say his name? Scared you'll think of him when you cum?"

Your eyes grow wide in alarm. "N-No! I wouldn't do that, oh god, f-fuck..."

"Then say it or you're not cumming," he threatens, grinding harder into you, angling his pelvis just slightly so that it brushes against your clit every time he thrusts in. He watches your eyes roll back, pleasure fogging up your brain. He feels your juices coat his pelvis, splashing over his lower abdomen. Whenever his cock dips in and out, the wet sounds resound throughout the room, and it makes him hiss. "Say it," he repeats, knowing he won't last much longer.

You frantically shake your head, moans coming out stuttered. "N-No, please don't, I can't...Hannie—"

Jeonghan notes the way you're starting to sound distant. "Say it or I'm leaving you here to cum by yourself."

Your eyes meet his—frazzled, panicked, dazed. "Please, I can't!"

"You wanted me mad, right? This is it, princess. Show some gratitude and say his fucking name."

You're trying hard to read him, to possibly decipher his intentions, but it's so hard when you feel like you're on the verge of passing out from the onslaught of pleasure. You reach one hand down to rake at the skin of his lower back, earning a throaty groan from him, a sound that makes your skin prickle. Your other hand settles on his face, cupping his jaw softly, as if begging him.

Your eyes roam over his face, taking in his exquisite beauty that always leaves you short of breath. His tousled hair hangs over his forehead, dangling in front of his eyes, dark like pools of obsidian, drawing you into their depth. There's a radiant flush that colours his cheeks, drawing your attention to the contour of his cheekbones and jaw, dusted lightly with sweat, highlighting the sharp features. Then his lips—so inviting and soft, parting with each breath.

Jeonghan feels almost flattered under the weight of your affectionate stare. He briefly closes his eyes, breathing in through his nose, trying to pull himself together. He tries to push everything out of his mind—your delicious sounds, your intoxicating scent, your warm cunt around his cock. It's your sweet, quiet whine that pulls him out of his reverie. When he locks eyes with you again, he knows there's nothing he can do to delay his impending climax—not when you're looking up at him so tenderly, eyes fixated on him like a moth drawn to a mesmerizing flame.

"I c-cant... Don't make me say his name, p-please..."

Jeonghan swallows hard, one hand curving at the nape of your neck. With his grip he tilts your head up, letting your lips caress his. "Say my name, then. Say my name when you cum. Look at me and show me who you belong to..."

You cum with a shout of Jeonghan's name, your whole body shaking at the sudden explosion. You squirm in your boyfriend's hold, toes curling over the back of his thighs as the pleasure ravages your whole body, surging through every nerve and every cell. It's numbing and so overwhelming at the same time, every inch of your skin humming with electricity, and every vein feeling like they've been set ablaze. For a moment, nothing else in the world matters except you and Jeonghan, entwined in each other as you lose yourself in the whirlwind of pleasure.

"Fuck, fuck, should I fill you up, baby?" Jeonghan's voice quivers just slightly.

The question sends another flood of ecstasy through you, cunt fluttering around his cock a second time. "Yes, yes—"

Your voice is like a siren's call to him, beckoning him, tempting him. Jeonghan is only a man, and he's not immune to a force as powerful as you. He sinks his teeth into your neck as he finally empties himself inside you with a drawn-out groan. Your tight cunt is pulsing so tightly around him, milking him, forcing every drop of cum to spill into you and coat your walls. A rather high-pitched whine escapes his lips as he slumps into you, hips flushed to yours, aching balls slick with the mixture of your release and his.

You're panting heavily as you wrap your arms around Jeonghan, blinking up at the ceiling blearily, feeling filled to the brim with his cum still in you. Despite having the urge to clean yourself up and get rid of the stickiness between your legs, you lie there for another minute, feeling so content with Jeonghan's weight atop yours and his lips on your neck. Being with him is pure bliss.

"Jeonghan," you say softly after some time, not wanting to ruin the peace and quiet.

He hums, rolling over to the side to lie on his back, letting his softening cock slip out of you. He pulls you into him with one arm, allowing you to settle half of your body on top of his. He lets out a pleased sigh, one hand grazing over your bare back, fingertips gliding down the dip of your spine.

Placing a palm on his chest, you rest your chin on the back of your hand, gazing up at him tiredly. He seems to glow so prettily, eyes fluttered shut and a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. Despite the heaviness of your eyelids, you gather your resolve, knowing that you still have something to clarify with him.

Without thinking too much, you mumble Jeonghan's name again and smile when his eyes flutter open to peer down at you drowsily. His free hand comes up to brush back the hair from your eyes.

"I'm sorry for not letting you know," you mutter, the weight of your guilt just now settling in your heart. If you don't apologise now, the feeling might devour you whole. "I should've told you..."

The hand on your back ceases moving, palm splaying on your upper back, warm against your skin. "Baby, I wasn't really—you know—angry about it. I was a little stumped, sure, but... I trust you. I always trust you."

You shake your head, pulling yourself up slightly to look at him better. "You deserve to be angry. Jeonghan, you should be so angry at me. I should've told you as soon as I got home from that dinner party."

Jeonghan chuckles, much to your dismay. "Okay, then why didn't you?"

"I just... didn't think it was important. I felt like it wasn't anything worth telling you. It's not a good excuse, I know."

"Is Seungcheol important to you?"

Your eyes widen in disbelief, unable to fully grasp what you just heard. "What! No, of course not!"

"Then what's there to apologise about?" Jeonghan says with a snicker. "Did you kiss him at the party? Did he try to make any move on you? Did he seem interested in you?"

"No to all of those. I... I told him I already found someone else," you admit in a quiet voice.

When Jeonghan smiles at you, it looks somewhat smug. "That's my girl... Besides, it wasn't his face that you were sitting on when you got back home from that party, was it?"

Appalled by Jeonghan's words, you bring your palm down on his chest, smacking him. "You're disgusting, Yoon Jeonghan."

He only laughs, eyes crinkling as he pulls you even closer. "Don't act like you don't love it."

You say nothing, only bringing your head down to rest it on his chest again. His heartbeat is strong against your ear, and his skin feels warm under your cheek.

"So..." Jeonghan begins. "Round two in the shower?"

He doesn't have to ask twice—you're already off the bed and sauntering towards the bathroom.

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imonanotherlebel · 1 month

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Seventeen reaction to S/O having a size kink

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Warnings: nsfw, Minors DNI

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SCoups

Seungcheol would be delighted about it. When you tell him about your size kink, he'd give you that confident smirk of his and pull you close. "You like how big I am, huh?" He'd tease, enjoying the way you melt against him. He'd definitely use his strength to his advantage, pinning you down and making you feel just how much bigger and stronger he is. The idea of you getting off on how he towers over you would turn him on like crazy.

Jeonghan

Jeonghan would be super into teasing you about it. He'd catch on quick, noticing how you react when he stands over you or pulls you into his lap. "So, you like feeling small around me?" he'd say with that playful grin. During sex, he'd love watching you squirm under him, his body completely covering yours as he whispers dirty things in your ear about how much you love his size.

Joshua

Joshua might seem sweet and innocent, but once he knows what you're into, he'd lean into it hard. He'd love making you feel small and delicate next to him. He'd be the type to press you up against the wall, lifting you with ease and making you gasp as he takes control. He'd get off on the way your body reacts to his, loving how much you crave that size difference.

Jun

Jun would be super curious and excited to explore this kink with you. He'd find ways to make the size difference even more apparent, like lifting you effortlessly or pressing you into the mattress with his weight. He'd love hearing you beg for him to take you deeper, knowing it's his size that's driving you wild. The more you show him you like it, the more he'd want to push your limits.

Hoshi

Hoshi would turn your size kink into a playful game. He'd tease you relentlessly, flexing his muscles and making jokes about how much you love feeling small next to him. But when things get heated, he'd get serious, loving how you respond to the way he manhandles you. He'd enjoy making you feel tiny beneath him, using his size to make you scream his name.

Wonwoo

Wonwoo is a kinky man. You can't convince me otherwise. He'd definitely take note of your kink and use it to his advantage. He'd love the idea of making you feel overwhelmed by him, especially when he's on top, covering you with his body. His deep voice would drop even lower as he whispers in your ear, "You love how big I am, don't you?" He'd find it incredibly sexy how much you're into the size difference and would make sure you feel it every time.

Woozi

Woozi would catch on quickly to your size kink and be more than happy to play into it. He'd love making you feel small and at his mercy, using his strength and commanding presence to take control. He'd pin you down, his voice low and teasing as he asks, "You like it when I make you feel this way, don't you?" The idea of overpowering you and seeing how much you love it would turn him on even more, making him want to push your limits just to see you beg for more.

DK would be excited when he finds out you have a size kink. He'd love the idea of making you feel small and protected. He'd be all about using his body to show you just how much bigger he is, lifting you up or pinning you down. He'd get turned on by the way you react to his strength, loving every second of making you feel tiny and powerless beneath him.

Mingyu

I think the size difference would be a given with Mingyu. His size would naturally play into your kink, and he'd be more than happy to indulge you. He'd love towering over you, using his height and muscles to make you feel completely at his mercy. He'd enjoy watching you squirm as he holds you down, whispering in your ear how much you love it when he takes control. He'd be turned on by how much you crave his size, using it to drive you both wild.

The8

The8 would be intrigued by your size kink and would get creative with it. He'd love finding new ways to make you feel small, like holding you tight or pinning you against the bed. His slender but strong frame would make the perfect contrast, and he'd enjoy seeing you get off on how he handles you. He'd be quietly confident, loving how much power he has over you in those moments.

Seungkwan

Seungkwan would be a bit cheeky about it, loving that you're into his size. He'd tease you during the day, making playful comments about how much you love it when he takes control. But when things get serious, he'd love using his strength to make you feel tiny and overwhelmed. He'd enjoy watching you react to his size, loving how much you're into it.

Vernon

Vernon tried to be pretty chill about it, but once he realizes how much you're into his size, he'd start to enjoy showing it off. He'd love the way you react when he presses you up against the wall or lifts you onto his lap. He'd be into making you feel small and protected, loving the way you melt under his touch. His calm demeanour would only make it hotter when he finally takes control.

Dino

Dino would be excited to explore this kink with you, loving the idea that you're into his size. He'd take pride in making you feel small and overwhelmed, using his strength to hold you down or lift you up with ease. He'd be all about pushing your buttons, loving the way you react to his touch. The more you show him you like it, the more he'd want to dominate you.

.....

Send in requests if you want more of these, guys..... This one kinda sucks, but I'll try....

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junkissed · 10 months

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love thy neighbor

member — fwb! neighbor!joshua x f reader genre — smut, light angst, college au, idiots to lovers, happy ending word count — 5.1k synopsis — there's perks to having your fwb live next door to you, but there's also downsides. like the fact that it's really hard to hide that you're in love with him. warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, one mention of periods, masturbation (both reader & joshua), the smut is REALLY quick, premature ejaculation sort of, a little bit of body worship, nicknames (baby, good girl), not really described but implied creampie, they are idiots and they are in love and it's gross and sweet notes — tysm to @wongyuseokie & @onlymingyus for help choosing the banner <3 and thanks to @petrichor-han for this idea !! fun fact this was originally going to be for skz han but i figured it would also make a great shua fic so i chose him instead. fun fact #2 i am addicted to giving shua's fics religious titles even when there's no mention of religion in the fic at all lmao. it gives me a giggle like how could i not when it fits so well?? also this is one of my few attempts at angst so if you liked this please reblog or send and ask and lmk how you liked it! hope you enjoy!!

joshua should be asleep right now.

really, he should. it’s 11pm on a sunday night and he’s got his chemistry lab at 8am tomorrow, and he’s still got a couple of assignments that he really needs to catch up on before the final next week.

but then there's that bump against the wall that he’s grown so accustomed to, and his eyes fly open.

maybe becoming fuck buddies with your next-door neighbor isn't the smartest idea he's ever had, because this is the fourth time this week he's had to hear your moans as he tries to fall asleep.

the walls are thin, but he's certain that you must not realize just how thin they are, because he can hear every sound you make as clear as day. every whimper, every buzz of your vibrator, even every moan of his name, barely muffled by the wall separating his room from yours. especially every moan of his name. and it’s been driving him insane.

really, it’s his own fault for trying to be a polite neighbor. he almost wishes that he hadn’t run into you when you’d moved into the apartment next door at the beginning of the semester, because then he probably wouldn’t have recognized you at that party during homecoming weekend and got to talking with you.

and because of that he probably wouldn’t have taken you home from said party and given you the best dicking down of your life (your words, not his), and then after that you probably wouldn’t have decided that you wanted to keep fucking him and agreed to become friends with benefits.

except he doesn’t actually wish that at all.

having your situationship live right next door is pretty convenient, after all. you’ll shoot him an “omw” text and be waiting at his front door seconds later. he forgot to bring condoms? it’ll just take a sec to run home and grab some. when you accidentally leave your panties in his apartment, he can drop them off the same day and then forget about it (he definitely won’t).

he could probably even just bang on his side of the wall and you’d know to come over, but to him that’s a little too far, too impolite. he at least has the decency to send a text first.

a part of him wonders if that’s why you’re so noisy at night, if you’re doing it on purpose and knowing he’ll hear it, secretly hoping for him to come knocking at your door. but he doesn’t want to assume, doesn’t want to show up without asking and realize he’s been completely wrong this whole time and make himself look like a fool.

so he settles for earplugs instead. because there’s no way he can sit there and listen to the sounds you make and not start thinking about all the times he’s been in your bed with you just inches away. and by the time he’s cum all over his fist and he’s finally worn himself out enough to fall asleep, it’s 4am and he has class in the morning and he’s wasted an entire night yet again.

he’s been inside your apartment dozens of times, enough to know the layout by heart. enough to know that your bedroom sits directly next to his, enough to know that your bed is pushed against that very thin wall the same way his is and that your nightstand with the drawer full of toys is right next to the bed.

oh, he’s gotten to know more than just your apartment over the course of the semester. he knows which positions are your favorite (you’ve never told him outright, but you always cum harder when he fucks you in missionary). he knows the names you like to be called and the ones you like to call him. he can even tell which vibrator you’re using right now (the red one doesn’t buzz as loud, so you only use it when your favorite purple one is dead. tonight you’re using the purple one.)

but he’s also gotten to know the way you smile when you see a cat video, the way your forehead wrinkles when you talk about your calculus professor, and the way you like your pancakes in the morning (though he’s never been able to make them for you himself, he swears one day he will. one slice of butter, a ton of syrup, and a handful of cut up strawberries.)

so maybe that’s what makes these nights so unbearable. he can keep lying to himself that it doesn’t bother him, that it wouldn’t bother him as much as it does if he just… didn’t like you.

but, unfortunately, he does like you. and he’s stuck with this problem until he finds a way to fix it, but just like in the lab analyses he has to write every week, he’s got no ideas. so he’ll have to settle for fucking his hand and biting his pillow so you don’t get suspicious of the noises he’s making, and hope that his silly little crush goes away on its own.

after all, he isn’t anything to you. albeit a sexual one, he’s still just a friend. and he’s certain that’s all you want.

god, you wish that joshua could see you right now. you’re certain he’d love it.

earlier tonight you’d had to physically force yourself to turn your phone off so that you wouldn’t be tempted to text him to come over. you’d already texted him on monday night and thursday afternoon, and you’d knocked on his door on saturday at practically the crack of dawn because you’d woken up thinking about him.

were you embarrassed about it? absolutely, but that wasn’t enough to stop you. okay, maybe sometimes it was, because the girl who lived across the hall had caught you (on multiple occasions) sneaking out of joshua’s apartment twice in one day and you refused to meet him again for nearly a week after that.

but joshua didn’t seem one bit embarrassed by your arrangement. he always gave you a friendly smile and offered to walk you to your door afterwards, which you always declined, and he always made sure to say he looked forward to seeing you again. you even saw him wave at the nosy neighbor girl when he’d left your apartment once (which you only remembered because you’d spent the rest of the night in tears about it, but not that you were jealous about it or anything).

you felt bad enough meeting up with him so often, but you felt even worse that you didn’t even have a label to show for it. you knew it was probably exactly what he’d wanted out of this, just somebody to call for a quick fuck, but it made you mad. it was why you got so angry about the girl across the hall; because you knew everybody loved joshua, so of course he couldn’t love only you.

he was hot and he was in a frat and he probably had a hundred girls he could call if he wanted to. with how often you text him to fuck, plus the other people he’s probably seeing? he’s gotta be exhausted.

which is why most nights you opt for touching yourself instead. in the months since you first met joshua, your vibrators have been going through batteries a lot faster than usual, a fact you’re not exactly proud of but will own up to nonetheless.

it’s not your fault that the image of him leaning over you, his thin gold chain dangling in your face as he fucks you is burned into your head practically 24 hours of the day. or the fact that his voice plays on repeat in your brain, specifically that one time he called you “baby” and you came so hard you nearly passed out.

so really, it’s actually his fault that he’s constantly on your mind. his fault for being sexy… or your fault for falling for him?

either way, you find yourself yet again with your pussy stuffed full of your own fingers and your favorite purple vibrator on your clit (you remembered to charge it last night, after you came to the thought of joshua fucking you on your kitchen counter), wishing he could be there to see it.

you close your eyes and picture him in front of you, holding the vibrator against your clit as he grins down at you. such a good girl, he’d say, brushing his thumb over your nipple with his free hand. you love this, don’t you?

“fuck, yes, joshua,” you reply, gasping as you push your fingers deeper inside. you arch off the bed a little, pushing your head back against your pillow. you’ve learned that he loves it when you call him by his full name instead of “shua” or “josh”; you don’t know why, but it always seems to drive him crazy, and you never fail to leave his apartment sore in all the best places afterwards.

you spread your legs a little wider and moan, rolling your cheek to the side as you imagine him fucking you with his fingers instead of your own. i can tell you’re getting close, imaginary joshua says with a smirk, his hand cupped against your pussy as he thrusts his fingers in and out at a bruising pace.

“mhm,” you whimper, curling your fingers and trying to convince yourself that it feels as good as when he does it. “please, joshua—”

you turn your vibrator up to the highest setting, your hips canting into the air as you squeeze your eyes tighter shut. you can feel the waves beginning to wash over you and you repeat his name like a plea, chanting it over and over until you can’t form words anymore.

cum for me, baby, all over my fingers, he says, and your mouth falls open as you let go, your knee accidentally smacking against the wall as your legs shake with pleasure. you keep your vibrator held firmly against your clit until it sends you over the edge again, still riding the high of your first orgasm as you struggle to breathe through it. joshua loves to overstimulate you, until all you can do is weakly push at his hands and beg him to leave your exhausted cunt alone.

the post-orgasm clarity soon starts to hit and you’re left with the realization that you just got off from pretending your neighbor is just as in love with you as you are with him. absolutely pathetic.

but your eyes are starting to droop and you’re quickly finding that you’re too tired to stay awake to think about how much of a loser you are, so you tuck your favorite vibrator back into its spot in your drawer and put your pajamas back on and tuck yourself into bed, trying not to wish joshua was there beside you instead of infinitely far away on the other side of the wall.

when joshua wakes up the next morning, he half expects you to be waiting outside his door again.

of course anyone would be annoyed at being woken up by their neighbor before 7am, but then you’d sheepishly told him that you’d had the most insane wet dream about him and he’d been more than happy to let you come in and bounce yourself on his lap while he watched the early morning sunlight stream through his bedroom window onto your cheeks.

pretty much the perfect morning, in his eyes, except for the fact that you hadn’t slept in his bed with him. you never sleep over and it’s obvious why, but maybe it’s for good reason: he won’t get so attached to you.

unfortunately, though, this morning you aren’t waiting for him, so he trudges to his kitchen to make himself one lonely cup of coffee and one lonely stack of frozen waffles and get ready for his day.

he’s started noticing patterns about when and why you text him, and he finds himself checking his phone all day.

on mondays, because you have all your classes on those days and you’re already exhausted so why not get fucked within an inch of your life before you settle in for the night?

on thursdays, usually in the afternoons because both your schedules happen to line up where he’s just finished his work shift and you’re on your break between classes so it leaves the perfect amount of time for him to eat you out.

if you have a particularly hectic morning you’ll text him right away and ask him if he’d come over once you get home that night, and he’ll reply that he can’t wait with a big red heart emoji.

in fact, most of the times you want to see him is when you’re stressed or upset, which makes sense to him but at the same time makes him a little disappointed. he hopes that you’d want to see him on your happiest days, because any day he gets to see you is automatically his happiest day. but he supposes that’s where you’ve drawn the line, and he’ll have to be okay with that.

joshua’s restless through his chem lab this morning, and then his english lecture, and then his shift at work, not-so patiently awaiting you to ask him about his plans tonight.

but you don’t text him at all on monday, and you don’t text him on tuesday, either. he catches you going into your apartment at the same time he’s leaving on wednesday, and he waves as usual but you just give him a small nod and hurriedly close your door behind you. he’s almost positive you’ll text him on thursday, but your lunch hour comes and goes without a word.

he almost never texts you first, because you text him so often and most of the time he’s already thinking about you anyway. so when sunday rolls around again and he still hasn’t heard anything from you, he thinks maybe you’re waiting for him to say something first this time.

he knows you’ve been home, because he’s heard your friends coming and going. maybe you’ve just been busy with other things and didn’t mean to ghost him. sure, you get together pretty often, but that doesn’t mean it’ll happen every single week. plans change and that’s fine, and it is right before finals week after all.

but even when you’re on your period and aren’t in the mood to see him, you usually send a text as a heads up, and he’s definitely not keeping track or anything but this week shouldn’t be one of them. he’s going through every possibility he can think of as to why you’ve seemingly disappeared, but he just can’t find a reason why.

but then he realizes something else; he’s stopped hearing you at night, too. and then he really starts to worry, because he remembers how upset you looked when he saw you in the hall and maybe something really awful happened to you and he’s been pouting in his room like a selfish idiot this whole time.

so he pulls up your contact, cursor blinking over the text box as he tries to figure out what to say.

hey, he decides on, and he’s surprised but happy when you read the message right away.

he waits a moment, but you don’t respond, so he texts again. you can talk to me, you know? about other stuff. i’m your friend.

he shakes his head and deletes that last sentence before pressing send. you read it immediately again, but it’s a long and agonizing few minutes before you reply.

okay

he frowns, not knowing what to say back. did i do something and make you mad? you seem upset and i’m sorry.

it’s nothing. don’t worry

joshua wants to say, but i do worry, but he knows that might be too far and he’s still not even sure what’s wrong.

so instead he stands up and walks out his front door, leaving his phone on his bed. he may be an idiot, but the least he can do is try to act like your friend.

you don’t answer when he knocks, so he calls your name. “i know you’re home, i can hear you through the wall.”

finally the lock clicks, and you open your door just a crack. “what do you mean, you can hear through the wall?”

he pauses. “i can hear you… walking around, and stuff. making noise. the walls are thin.” so you really didn’t know? oh god, now he feels like an asshole for listening, even if he was trying not to.

“oh. well.” you sigh and close your eyes, inhaling. “that’s embarrassing.”

“can we talk?” joshua asks, suddenly feeling exposed. he’s plenty comfortable in large groups of people, but when he’s around you he wants to hold you tight and keep you secret and safe, out of sight of any wandering eyes. standing out in the hallway where anyone could hear is not how he’d like this to go.

“sure,” you mumble, swinging your door open for him to come inside.

you close the door but don’t move from behind it, standing like you’re waiting for him to say something. so he does.

“listen. i know whatever this is, is messy,” he starts, gesturing between the two of you. “but you’re my friend, and i care about you and i want you to be happy.” he sighs. “so please tell me what’s wrong, because not texting you has been really weird, and if you want to end this then that’s fine and i’ll leave you alone, but don’t just ghost me. we’re still neighbors and i’m not a fan of awkward hallway conversations.”

you crack a smile for a second, but it quickly fades. “do you want to end this?”

“no, not really. but i don’t want you to feel like you have to keep doing this if you don’t like it.”

“i thought it was pretty obvious i did like it,” you say with an almost laugh.

he stares at you quietly. “then what’s going on?”

“i want to keep doing this, but i just… i don’t think i can,” you say, avoiding his eyes. “at least not like this.”

“what do you mean, ‘like this’?”

“joshua, because i like you. and i feel awful because i know we’re not on the same page and it feels like i’m taking advantage of you because you probably have a dozen other women telling you the exact same thing and it’s probably exhausting and it’s not what you want!”

his face contorts in shock at your words. “well, first, that’s not at all true. and second of all, stop trying to guess what i want without just talking to me. what is it that you want?”

“you! i don’t know. i don’t know what i want anymore,” you say, covering your face with your hands.

joshua’s not sure if he should hug you or not, but he really, really wants to. “is that all that’s been bothering you this week?” he asks softly.

“yeah,” you say, moving your hands but still avoiding his eyes. “it’s stupid. i know, and i’m sorry.”

he laughs, and you look up at him like he’s crazy. “you don’t have anything to be sorry for,” he says. “i’m sorry. because for months i’ve been wishing we could change this but i never said anything because this is what i thought you wanted.”

you keep staring at him, but he can’t read the emotion on your face. “so… what is this, then?”

“i’ll be whatever you want me to be for you. your fuck buddy, or your friend, or your boyfriend, whatever.”

“you really don’t see other people?” you ask, still unsure.

now it’s joshua’s turn to look at you like you’re crazy. “no, why would i want to? i don’t care if you do, but with how often you text me it sounds like you don’t, either.”

“i just figured— nevermind,” you sigh.

“can i give you a hug?” he asks after a minute. “we’ve been sleeping together the whole semester, and i don’t think i’ve ever given you a real, proper hug.”

you smile, and seeing that instantly makes his day. “yes, please.”

his arms feel secure around you, and his chest is warm against your cheek. with a sigh you close your eyes, breathing in the smell of his cologne that you’ve been trying to push out of your brain for weeks.

you stand there for a while, neither of you making any moves to pull away. it's been a really, really long week without joshua and you didn’t realize how badly you missed him until this moment.

“so about the walls thing—”

“hm?” he mumbles.

“—you can really hear everything?”

he laughs. “oh, yeah. your bedroom is right next to mine. been having trouble sleeping for so long because i kept hearing you moan my name and it got me hard every time.”

your cheeks burn in embarrassment. “joshua, i’m so sorry! if i had known—”

he shakes his head, cutting you off. “you can make it up to me by telling me everything you were thinking about.”

“probably nothing you don't already know,” you grin shyly.

“probably, but i wanna hear you say it anyway.”

you lean away from him a little bit, releasing your arms from around him to rest against his chest. “i should've known this is why you wanted to come over,” you say, pretending to be mad, but you can already feel the tingling feeling building up in your stomach at the thought.

“it's not,” he replies smoothly, “but i did miss waking up to you knocking on my door.”

you pout. “that was only that one time!”

“doesn't mean it has to be the last.”

heat creeps up into your cheeks and you glance away from him, gaze trained on his shoulder.

“you really wanna know what i was thinking about?” you ask, finally building up the courage to look back up at his face.

“of course i do.” his eyes are sparkling as he watches you, and you can't exactly identify the emotion but you know it makes your heart flutter.

“well,” you start, “it was different every time, but most of the time it started like this.” you trail your hands down his torso, pausing when they reach his hips. he stays silent, eyes fixed on your movements and a little smile on his face that you don't think he even realizes he's doing.

“and then…” you look down, a little surprised to notice the bulge in his pants already there. you place your hand over him gently and look up, waiting for him to say something, but he doesn't stop you.

you clear your throat and start again. “and then, you'd sit on the couch and let me gag on your cock for a while.”

you start to push on his hips, backing him into your living room. he’s enjoying this way more than he should be, but then again, you basically just confessed your love to him so it’s kind of the best day of his life.

the back of his thighs hits the arm rest of your couch, but before you can move him any further his hands pull you flush against his body, his bulge pressing into your stomach.

“how about we skip that part for another day?” he says, his voice low. “tell me what happens after.”

you try your best to hold back a moan, suddenly losing your ability to speak. you can practically feel his cock throbbing through his clothes and it makes it impossible to come up with a coherent sentence.

“don’t get shy on me now, baby,” he hums, hands still firmly gripping your hips, and if your brain hadn’t short-circuited already then it definitely has now. “been hearing you in your room for weeks, i know how loud you like to be.”

“that’s not fair,” you finally manage, still trying to collect your thoughts.

joshua leans forward to kiss your neck, gently at first but quickly growing harsher, and you’re sure he can feel your pulse jump every time his teeth graze your skin.

“fuck, just like that,” you whimper, “exactly like that, shua—”

after a minute he hums and glances up at you through his lashes, clearly waiting for you to keep talking.

“we’d make out for a while, and then you—you’d fuck me on the floor,” you gasp out. joshua moans against your skin, and it’s only then that you realize your hands have found their way to his hair, tugging on it to urge him on.

your fingers loosen and he pulls away, the corners of his lips wet with saliva. “on the floor? you deserve better than that, baby,” he tsks. “can i take you to bed instead?”

“please,” you whine softly, suddenly feeling unbearably eager to fuck him. all week you’ve been using every last ounce of your energy to avoid thinking about joshua, but now that he’s here in front of you and way too willing to play into your fantasies, all the emotions you’ve been holding in are spilling out, and you don’t feel like containing them anymore.

you grab his hand and it’s like you can’t make it to your room fast enough, falling onto your bed and pulling him down on top of you. by then you’ve both forgotten the conversation you were having before because you’re too busy desperately pressing your lips against his, barely remembering to breathe as he kisses you and kisses you and kisses you and what were you even talking about again?

your brain is clouded when he finally pulls away with a gasp, kissing your cheek and your neck once more. his hands slip beneath your shirt and tug it over your head, making his way between your breasts and down your stomach and leaving more kisses as he goes. your skin burns with each touch, gentle lips and not-so-gentle hands covering every inch of you until you feel like your whole body is on fire.

he sits up just long enough to pull his own shirt off and now it’s your turn to touch, your hands instantly finding his chest as you trace your fingertips down his abs.

“how do you want me?” joshua groans, his hands joining yours at his hips to help him push his pants to the ground.

“fuck… missionary? just like this?” you say as you kick your pants and panties off in a rush, wrapping your legs around his waist.

his cock brushes against your stomach and you sigh out a moan, your hands moving up to grab at his biceps. he doesn’t say another word as he runs his tip through your folds, his attention fixated on your pussy and how you’re already dripping for him. for a second he forgets where he is and what he’s doing, so engrossed with the sight of you and how fucking glad he is that he didn’t lose you because you’re both idiots that assume too much about what the other wants instead of communicating your feelings like normal adults.

you let out a little noise and his eyes flick back up to your face, his gaze immediately softening at the blissful expression on your face. to think, he could’ve been seeing you like this the whole time if he had the balls to admit how he felt sooner. but there’s plenty of time for him to pout about it later because right now you need him, and he needs you, too, so why waste time thinking about that when he can think about how good you look taking his cock?

he leans down because he can’t resist kissing your beautiful face one more time, and finally he pushes into you, letting out a loud whine at the same time you moan his name. the sound of your voices joined together goes straight to his dick as he pulls almost all the way out, thrusting back into you with renewed energy.

“baby— fuck,” he groans, his grip on your body tightening as his thrusts begin to grow faster and rougher. “so good to me.”

you clench hard around him at the nickname, clinging onto him as you squeeze your eyes shut.

and then without warning everything hits you all at once, and you go boneless in his arms as he whimpers and groans and gasps and holds you tight and he probably told you he loves you about a million times as he was cumming too but you can’t hear anything as you lay exhausted on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with your ears ringing.

even with his shaking hands you can still feel the gentleness in joshua’s touch as you start to come back down, the warmth of his breath on your cheek as his fingers lightly brush your hair out of your face, feeling him twitch inside you before he slowly pulls out.

with his own orgasm following just barely after yours that was probably some kind of record for the fastest round ever, but you don’t even have the strength to care. so what if he usually fucks you for hours on end? all you care about is the fact that he’s tracing your collarbones with a fucked-out little smile on his face and it’s probably the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your entire life.

with a soft grunt he stands up, and you call out his name with all the energy you have left.

“joshua?”

“mhm?”

“can you stay?” you ask, and somehow you both know you’re talking about more than just for the next few minutes.

he smiles. “wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else.” and when he comes back with a towel and a wet wipe and apologizes for how fast it all was and promises to give you more whenever you want because he’s officially yours now, you know he’s telling the truth.

even when he’s doing nothing at all, joshua never fails to make your head spin.

laying in the dark with you, his fingers absentmindedly twirling your hair as you snuggle into his chest, you can’t even begin to find the words to explain how good it feels knowing he loves you and you love him back.

but it doesn’t seem like he needs words right now. all he needs is you.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

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cherry-hulu · 6 days

Text

— Shows on 3.. 2.. 1..

Synopsis: Thirteen dicks in front of you, all standing tall with varying girth and size. Not a matter of when and where, but rather a matter of how.

Warnings: idol!SVT x idol!fem reader, orgy, unprotected sex, exhibitionism, implied free use, oral (m receiving), dirty talk, double penetration, creampie, implied age gap, dacryphilia, throat bulge, LOTS of cum, orgasm delay, pwp

#Part One — #Part Two

You on all fours with Dino rutting behind you, mouth covered by his big hands while his other was wrapped around your waist pressing you against him. G spot being abused by the constant hit of his cock. Skimpy skirt held up, safety shorts on the floor. No lube, no protection.

All while his other members watch, dicks out of their pants, standing up and hard, raging red with precum leaking up at the top. Some were jacking off, some were just rubbing themselves,some were helping each other by jacking each other off or sucking the other, but all had their eyes on you.

Your mouth is slightly ajar, eyes unfocused and glassy, lips swollen because of how hard Dino had kissed you earlier, pretty and beautiful moans and whimpers coming out of your mouth. You were a wet dream come true.

"You like that? You like whoring yourself out in front of your seniors? Little slut." Followed by a slap to the ass by Dino himself.

"Bet she does, probably gets herself off to the thought of us 'no?" Said Minghao

"Such a pretty hole, always open and ready to be fucked. Heard from a little birdie that you took both Jaehyun and San in one go just yesterday." Said Mingyu

"If she can take two then I bet she can take all of us, isn't that right right slut?" Hoshi asks rubbing the tip of his cock slowly. Groans and moans from the other members was taken out of that question.

"Such a perfect cock sleeve. Can't wait 'till we can have our own way with you." Joshua mutters

"Fuck.." Dino whispers under his breath, hips moving faster, harder, and deeper. If you weren't already wrecked earlier, you most definitely are now. Eyes rolling to the back of your head, your lips stuck between your teeth, you looked like a wet dream come true.

Wonwoo, taking the initiative, stands up from his seat and walks over to you with his cock hanging out off his pants. You open your mouth as you feel his thumb caress your lips, holding your chin within the palm of his hands. You suck on his fingers as they slip into your mouth, slobbering your saliva all over it— your doe eyes staring straight into his sharp siren gaze.

Woozi, now standing beside you, grabs your left hand gently, lifting it to wrap around his dick before beginning to thrust his hibs nack and forth slowly. "Hm.. your nails look too pink princess, how about we add some white to it?" He grunts as you rub your thumb across his top, gliding your nails in between the slit of his penis.

Your right hand was next, now with Vernon this time. Without any word spoken, he grabbed your fingers and wrapped them around his length. He was intent on watching you suck Wonwoo's fingers off while you hold a staring contest with the taller man.

Dino— seeing all of this unfold— didn't took too long until he was cumming inside of you not giving two shits if it was ruining your dress. "What an obedient good little girl, taking cum without complaints." He says as he slowly pulls out watching his semen drip out of your glistening cunt.

"My turn princess." Seungkwan said as he finally stood to his feat and walked over to you, he'd been watching from behind, loving the way your ass jiggles everytime Dino's hips meet yours. Dick in his hand, he gives himself a few long strokes before pushing into you filling your cunt up again.

He can't help but moan at the feeling of your tight cunt filled with the cum of his dongsaeng embrace his cock in a warm welcome embrace. More semen seeps out of your pussy as he pushes his whole length in, creaming off the sides of your hole. Astonished, he stayed still as he watches your pussy hug him tight.

You moaned with him feeling mutual about the experience, eyes crossing and moving to the back of your head breaking eye contact with Jeon Wonwoo. And before you knew it, Wonwoo was inserting his own length into your mouth taking you by surprise, causing you to choke lightly.

"Such a good girl, taking good care of her seniors. That's all you are aren't you? Just a tight pretty hole to be filled." Jeonghan. The devil has finally spoken having come up from sucking off Seungcheol. From being on his knees to man-spreading playing with the tip of his cock. The versatility of this man was insane.

"Hm.. but as far as I know good girls don't let their senior do all the work. Don't they?" A deep throaty voice echoes the room as the leader and eldest of the group spoke his words. He was sitting on the loveseat taking up majority of it's space as he spreads his legs, dick standing big and tall resting against his abdomen. It was wet, covered with Jeonghans saliva and his own precum.

You whimpered as your cunt tightens at their words, both hands immediately moving to motion jack off the two boys beside you, head bobbing up and down, pussy grinding on Seungkwan.

Jun, now standing beside Wonwoo, slaps his cock on the small cock bulge on your cheek spreading his precum all over your face. It was hard and heavy filled with cum waiting to be released. His tip ran all over your face before stopping beside the corners of your mouth. "Open up princess, let's put this pretty mouth to good use."

You stop moving your head leaving only your ass and hands in motion. You whimpered looking up at him, you looked like a mess. Make-up running all over your face, mouth spread wide open wrapped around Wonwoo's cock. "C'mon, open up for sunbae. You can take it, I know you can." Jun smirks, tapping his tip on your lips.

Slowly, you pull away from Wonwoos cock before sticking your tongue out for the both of them. The two men make eye contact first smirking at each other. Their dicks were pretty different from each other— Wonwoo was thick while Jun was on the thinner side, but their lengths were on par with each other.

Jun goes first laying his dick on your tongue, followed by Wonwoo doing the same. You move your head forward looking up at both of them as you slowly take them inch by inch. "Shit," Vernon whispers under his breath as he cums all over your hands. "So fucking hot baby," he moans as he watches his hyungs dick disappear into your throat.

Halfway through their length, an evident bulge was starting to show on your throat. Tears shed from yout eyes as your mouth stretches wider than it has ever been in your whole entire life.

"You look so pretty when you cry baby.. only a few more, come one, you can do it, hyung is so proud of you." Wonwoo coos as he cups the side of your face in his hands making you whimper around the two men.

You choke on their dick as Seungkwan starts moving behind you grinding back on your cunt. "Such a good princess, taking us so well." He moans, starting to thrust his hips into you. Pace starting slow before moving quickly forcing you to move forward on Jun and Wonwoos dick inevitably swallowing them more.

"Poor baby, doesn't know who to focus on," Minghao coos at you as Vernon moves away from you, your hand immediately wrapping around Minghaos dick as he comes close to you. "Would you look at that? I haven't even said anything yet and she already knows what to do. Certified slut." He chuckles.

To be honest, you weren't registering anything that was happening to you anymore. You were slowly turning dumb, the only thing you knew was cock cock cock and cock.

Jun slowly starts to thrust his dick into you when he starts to notice your struggle. "No thoughts behind those eyes 'no?"

"Fuck– shit– I'm cumming–," Woozi whines as spurts of cum come out of his dick completely covering your fingers in his cum. Boy was he a heavy cummer, you kinda wished he did it somewhere else.

Your attention from the producer immediately shifted away when you feel Wonwoo and Jun thrusting into your mouth. All of a sudden you feel two different hands go under your top and fondle with your boobs. This in combination with Seungkwan constantly impaling your g-spot has you rolling your eyes backwards.

You were doing so good in holding your come until this very moment, almost forgetting about your sunbaes orders, you hold your stomach tight stopping yourself from cumming. You were so close, so, so, so close.

"Sh.. shit.. fuck! I'm cum.. cumming," Seungkwan groans behind you, thrusts staring to speed up even more hitting you harder than before.

"How about you all go together and cover her up in your cum?" Seokmin spoke, finally.

"Y.. yeah. I can do that." Minghao responds, breaths shaky as he nears his orgasm.

"I'm close.." Wonwoo says groaning. "Yeah.. me too." Jun, breathless.

A few more thrusts and your senses were overwhelmed of how much cum is going on and into you.

Seungkwan shooting his seeds deep within you, mixing with your precum and Dinos dump earlier. Jun and Wonwoo filling up your mouth, directly shooting down your throat forcing you to swallow and taste a mix of their cum. And of course, Minghao spraying all over your hand and back while pinching your tits.

It truly was a sight to see, something that some people could only imagine. Moans, pants, and whimpers echoes in the room as the other members cum on their own as well. It was clear to see that everybody was spent.

Well everybody except five. Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Joshua, Seokmin, Hoshi, and Mingyu. Who's dicks are still as hard as rock, standing as tall as the buildings.

Insisting that they go before the other members considering how far their stamina can get them. They sat on the couch watching everything unfold before them, barely stroking their dicks.

And to ensure that they'd still have you despite already dealing with seven of their members, they made a rule, that if you had cum during the first round with the others. They'd make sure it would be your last for that week. Telling other idols to always leav you hanging no matter what. Because that's what bad girls get.

One by one, the other members pull away from you, taking their place somewhere in the room, leaving you in the middle. Cum all over your body, leaking from your cunt, your mouth, and spread all over your hand and even on your pretty dress you'd performed in.

"Ready for round two princess?"

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buntanteen · 21 days

Text

svt fic recs list <3 - sub!ot13 for september - nsfw ver.

nsfw reader insert fics!! mdni. (majority is afab reader)

✩ svt writing & fic rec masterlist ✩

note: here's 30 subby/soft/pathetic/virgin!seventeen fic recs for each day of september :3 enjoy <3

✩ ot13 works ✩

❥ seventeen's reaction of you calling them 'baby boy' for the first time - @wannabelife

crying and dying at shua's. shy baby junnie~ kyeommie and gyu are SUCH baby boys i cannottttt. poor vernon failing his game cuz he was flustered 😔

❥ svt mtl — humiliation kink! - @cheolhub

pathetic mingyu agenda let's fucking gaurrrrrr. mean joshie do whatever u want to me, thanks dude :3

❥ mtl svt: to be a sub around you but act like the one in charge publicly - @ncteez

ofc vernon and mingyu are at the top hehe. SIMP SEOKMINNIE YAYY. DINO'S HAD ME CACKLING PLSS JFKBD. the shua one is so *chef's kiss*

❥ thigh riding sub!seventeen - @applesooyoung

omg shy shua is killing me here. show me your pretty face pretty boy, pls 🥺🥺 nonnie trying to nochalantly hint at what he wants is taking me out hjvfkb. wanna hear channie's moans soooo bad. he'd sound so good when he feels good

❥ praise kinks (not ot13) - @mountainficss

...i may have kink for giving praise...

❥ mtl submissive - @nonuify

power bottom kwannie agenda let's geddittt. bratty hannie...*sigh* HE'S ALWAYS BRATTY JKFBK I CAN'T HANDLE HIM ARGBK

✩ choi seungcheol/scoups ✩

❥ sub!seungcheol - @mountainficss

coups is too grr to immediately want to try out being subby. loveee the idea that he's a bit bratty when he doesn't get his way *side eyes ever moment he sulks or whines*

✩ yoon jeonghan ✩

❥ sub jeonghan - @mountainficss

subby jeonghan thank u thank u thank u. imagining his fuck-me-eyes and his fucked out expression has me *jumps out window*

✩ hong joshua ✩

❥ edging + overstim sub joshua - @mountainficss

sweet shua taking everything we give him 🥺🥺

❥ pup - @toruro

shua is such a good pretty pup in this fic omfg s

❥ sub!shua - @sluttywonwoo

sensitive subby obedient shua?? sign me up

✩ wen junhui ✩

❥ sub!jun - @sluttyminghao

pretty shy subby junnie. just wants to be good and feel good aww :((

❥ sub jun - @mountainficss

good lil behaved sub junjun oh ily. such a shy lil brat

✩ kwon soonyoung/hoshi ✩

❥ sub hoshi - @mountainficss

subby hoshi just being a brat and instigating just so he can be pleasured omfg

❥ sub!hoshi - @hannieehaee

subby soonie is sooo pathetic i'm in love??? he's so whiny and desperate hehe

✩ jeon wonwoo ✩

❥ sub!wonwoo - @sluttyminghao

sensitive nonu and leaving marks on his thighs yes pls thank yewwww

❥ sub!wonwoo + praise kink - @sluttyminghao

nonu's puppy eyes have me so weak y'all don't get it (u probably do lmao) praising this good boy ahhhh

✩ lee jihoon/woozi ✩

❥ sub!jihoon x sub!reader - @hannieehaee

cockwarming to fucking? jihoon's pretty hands all over??? yes pleaseee

❥ sub!woozi - @jeonghantis

fuck, imaging his pretty cute voice all needy and whining to be fucked has me weakkk

✩ xu minghao/the8 ✩

❥ slutty sub minghao - @mountainficss

playing with minghao's nipples until he's all sensitive i- kjvbfk

✩ kim mingyu ✩

❥ himbo puppy mingyu - @mountainficss

degrading and praising big dumb himbo puppy gyu?? aHHHHHH

❥ overstimulating sub!gyu - @sluttywonwoo

is mingyu whimpered at me, i'd fold immediately too

❥ chained up good boy!mingyu - @duhnova

obedient puppy boy mingyu save me plsssss

✩ lee seokmin/dokyeom ✩

❥ puppy seokmin - @mountainficss

cutie puppy hybrid who just wants his person so fucking bad arghhh s

❥ sub!seokmin - @hannieehaee

pliant lil seokminnie just wanting cunt so bad jkbks

✩ boo seungkwan ✩

❥ rough sex with sub seungkwan - @mountainficss

whining and begging?? meet his needs pls, the baby deserves it. but he's also a cute lil fuck toy, y'know? 🥰

✩ chwe hansol/vernon ✩

❥ his first time (virgin!vernon) - @sluttywonwoo

i adore the concept of soft hansol not wanting to cum so quickly gfdbkjns

❥ sub!vernon - @hannieehaee

playing with subby nonnie's cock and making him feel that good? yes pls :3

✩ lee chan/dino ✩

❥ cumming in his pants - @sluttywonwoo

fuck, i'm so in love with the idea of him priding himself on holding back...only to ruin his pants because it just feels so so so good~ poor baby wanted to cum in reader's cunt 😔

❥ sub! chan who's only comfort is your tits - @monamipencil

needy chan just needy for tiddies after a long day :((( (what a mood tho)

ames note: i made this solely because of alliteration (sub, svt, september) lol. i planned doing this about a month ago but i procrastinated lmao. so i quickly went through this so it is slightlllllyyyyyy late (sorry~). i hope y'all enjoy the filth ς(.-‿-)ఇ

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hoshifighting · 14 days

Note

lyla….. i gotta know what car sex with svt would be like 🫦

seungcheol likes it on the backseat, your legs splayed across the leather, windows fogged up. he grinds into you, seats squeaking underneath. he’s relentless, fucking you hard against the door, his hands gripping your thighs like he’s afraid you’ll slip away. the music’s soft in the background, but all you can hear is his groaning, breathless curses tumbling from his lips. he loves it when you moan loud, one hand tangled in your hair as he takes you to the edge over and over again. his size? barely fits in the car, but he makes it work, leaning in close to whisper filthy things in your ear between thrusts.

jeonghan parks somewhere dark, secluded, with the windows cracked just enough for the cool air to sneak in so his blood pressure doesn't fall. or has you bent over the hood of the car, your hands gripping the cold metal as he kisses down your spine. the way he fucks you is almost leisurely, like he’s got all the time in the world, but it drives you insane. he chuckles every time you whimper his name, pushing back into him for more. he’ll whisper sweet nothings into your ear after, like he didn’t just ruin you on the side of the road.

joshua likes it on the front seat, hands firm as he pulls you into his lap, your knees digging into the dashboard while you ride him. the windows are rolled down, and the night air cools the heat between you. he’s not wild with his movements, but god, the way he looks at you while you move together is everything. his lips are constantly on you—your neck, your chest, your lips—soft whispers of your name mingled with his breathy moans.

junhui’s energy is through the roof, and it’s no different when things get nasty in the car. you’re in the backseat, straddling him while the music’s blasting through the speakers. the windows are cracked open, enough for the outside world to hear the way he moans your name, unashamed, unapologetic. he’s got you bouncing on his lap, his hands gripping your waist, guiding your movements like he’s choreographing your entire night. there’s no slowing down with him—it’s fast, intense, almost overwhelming, but exactly what you crave. he loves watching the way your face twists with pleasure, his lips tugging into a grin every time you get louder.

hoshi takes over the second you suggest anything risky. he’s the kind who wants to fuck you outside the car, no matter how reckless it is. he’ll have you pinned up against the side of the car, your legs wrapped around his waist while his hips snap forward relentlessly. the music's thumping from inside the car, but the only thing you’re focused on is the way he fills you up, him constantly whispering dirty things in your ear, loving the way your breath catches when he moves just right. the sounds he makes are loud and needy, almost like he can’t get enough. and honestly, he never can.

wonwoo’s the quiet type, but in the car, he’s something else. you’re in the backseat, seats reclined just enough for him to slide between your legs. the windows up, keeping everything intimate, the heat trapped inside the car. he’s not one to moan loudly, but the little sounds he makes are everything—soft, breathy grunts that makes u wet. his hand finds its way to your throat, not rough, just enough pressure to make you feel grounded, connected. you can feel the tension in his body, the way he tries to hold back but eventually lets go, his forehead pressed against yours.

woozi doesn’t do anything halfway. both of you in the front seat, the chair reclined as far back as it can go, but it’s still a tight fit. he’s hovering over you, thrusting into you at a brutal pace, his breath hot against your neck. the music’s off—he doesn’t need it—preferring the sound of your moans, the way your body responds to him. he’s not much of a talker during sex, but the way his grip tightens on your hips, the way he buries his face in your neck, says everything. his stamina is unreal, and he won’t stop until he’s sure you’re completely wrecked.

minghao + sex + you + front seat, straddling him as he sits back, his hands lazily resting on your hips. he loves watching the way you react, afraid that someone can see you through the window, but also too horny to care. the windows are cracked, and there’s soft music playing, but the real soundtrack is the way he breathes out your name every time you roll your hips just right. he’s quiet, focused, but the tension in his body says everything—he’s holding back, making sure you come undone before he even thinks about finishing.

mingyu and car sex? it’s wild, messy, and absolutely addictive. the backseat suffers on fitting with his size, but he makes it work. windows are fogged up, the car rocking slightly with the force of his thrusts. the way he moans is loud, unfiltered, mixing with your cries, you can be as loud as you want, you know the car 'walls' are going to muffle it. he would often eat you out inside the car too, before an event, before a family dinner.

seokmin is the type of funny that makes you laugh and then, on the next second, you are naked for him, laughing between gasps as he tickles your sides before pulling you into his lap. he’s vocal—really vocal—moaning and laughing all at once, telling you how good you feel, how much he loves being with you. he’s got this playful energy, even when he’s fucking you hard, every time you gasp, he grins wider, loving the way you react to him. he’ll pull you in for sloppy kisses, his breath mixing with yours as the car shakes with the force of your movements. when you both finish, he’s still giggling, pulling you close and telling you how much fun that was, like it wasn’t the most intense thing you’ve ever experienced.

seungkwan likes it because it ends up being messier than in bed. you get sweat faster, you get tired faster, the lungs burn, and the windows start to drip from being humid. he would hit his head on the car's roof zillions times, would laugh, but keep fucking you, when you're on top, he put a hand on the top of your head to prevent you to hit your head as the other circles your clit.

vernon loves it the most. love how the sex smells way faster inside the car. would have a playlist just for car sex, and would draw on the foggy windows of your car after. the quietness of the car insides, makes your moans more prominent so he can appreciate it.

chan would love to finger you while he drives. the radio is turned off, so he can hear the wetness of your pussy enveloping his fingers, the silence in the car makes him focus on it. when you two decided to make a stop, he want to fuck you outside, bent over the closed trunk leaving a stamp of your tits on it.

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jeonride · 1 year

Text

joshua reading list / fic recs !

don't forget to like + reblog the fics that you like to support the authors <3

navigation

FICS ! ✧*

Hoax (smut, angst, mafia!shua, strangers to lovers) by @lovelyhan

Isohel (modern royalty au, prince!shua, smut, angst) by @toruro

Eyes Meeting, Hearts Apart (mild angst, prince!shua, smut) by @lovelyhan

Mr. Nice Guy (smut, neighbor!shua) by @toruro

Under The Rose (fluff, smut, frenemies childhood to lovers, kinda historical au) by @just-come-baek

Honeyduke Lovers (hogwarts au, unrequited love, hufflepuff!shua x slytherin!reader. yep this is the story of how slytherin becomes undyingly soft for hufflepuff) by @http-mianhae

Steamy (smut, next door neighbor!shua) by @duhnova

written by @onlyhuis :

Cranberry Concoctions (smut, a little angst & fluff, 1920s, prohibition au)

Leaning on The Everlasting Arms (angst, smut, some fluff, bible college au)

Fine Line (fluff, smut, angst, figure skater!shua) by @heartkyeom

Prove it, You Won't (fluff, angst, humor, tattoo artist au) by @leejungchans

Oceans and Engines (fluff, exes to lovers, a lil' angst) by @renjunphile

Lover Boy (regency era romance, commoner!shua x aristocrat fem!reader, historical drama) by @starlightxsvt

Gentleman (angst, fluff, sugar daddy au) by @starlightxsvt

Wildest Dreams (bestfriends to lovers, fluff, humor) by @viastro

The Type (smut, fluff, college boyfriend!shua) by @bitchlessdino

Your Gentleman (smut, camboy!shua) by @wonwussy

Fighting for Your Love (smut, threesome ft. jeonghan) by @rubyreduji

Half Past Five High The Series (ft. mingyu, smut, angst, minor fluff, rich people au, love triangle, cheating. supermodel!gyu, photographer!shua x influencer fem!reader) by @multi-kpop-fanfics

Paint Me Numbers (fluff, shallow angst, guitarist/bandmate!shua) by @chocosvt

Domino (fluff, crack, smut) by @universecorp

Nasty (smut, fluff) by @soonigiri

Menace (smut) by @jeonghantis

You're All That Matters (fluff, bf!shua) by @heartsfromia

Be My Date (fluff, minor angst) by @heartsfromia

Mine (smut) by @luxekook

Meant for Each Other (fluff, soulmate au) by @slytherinshua

Golden Hour (best friends to lovers, fluff, slice of life, summer vacation au) by @dkfile

An Interview with An Angel (meet cute, fluff, reporter!shua) by @hannyoontify

Our Fairytale (smut, fluff) by @zuhacore

DRABBLES / SCENARIOS ! ✧*

at every table, i'll save you a seat (fluff) by @suhnshinehaos

bad habits (exes with benefits, smut, mild angst) by @lovelyhan

pretty when you cry (smut) by @cheolhub

quiet time (smut) by @number1mingyustan

acouasm (smut) by @angelwoozi

when you can't sleep but shua is right next to you (fluff, comfort) by @wonwoonlight

one-up (smut) by @sluttywonwoo

golden boy's mercy (smut) by @bitchlessdino

17. 12 (smut) by @lovelyhan

14. 13 (smut) by @toruro

after a long day (smut) by @sevngmin148

title (fluff, established relationship, ceo) by @leejungchans

relax (fluff, smut, established relationship) by @playmetheclassics

shower (fluff) @husbandhannie

stay up (fluff) by @bitterie-sweetie

about you : valentine's special (fluff, angst, friends to lovers) by @shuawonie

fruit (smut) by @onlyseokmins

i love you, always (fluff, comfort) by @monnn

10.32 (fluff, bf!shua) by @elysianeclipxe

clingy (fluff) and smitten (fluff) by @slytherinshua

we won't change because we're engraved in each other's heart (fluff) by @wooahaes

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hannieween · 1 month

Text

red lights | lights out series

The plan was fair and simple, but one that you could not take from zero to one hundred. Struggling with feelings of insecurity, hurt feelings and other concerns, you soon came to realize that it was not so simple. Nor fair.

✮pairings: joshua hong x female reader x yoon jeonghan ✮ genre: angst, fluff, smut [18+] ✮ aus: rockstar joshua, theatre director jeonghan, boyfriend joshua, best friend jeonghan, polyamorous relationship ✮word count: 22.2k

→ season one — season two — read more

› smut warnings under the cut

✮ warnings: smut with plot, polyamorous relationship, threesomes, joshua is into cucking, talks of bisexuality and consent, light homo-erotic themes ?, possessiveness, jealousy, dom and sub dynamics, (joshua, jeonghan and bunny are kinda switchy in this chapter) multiple unprotected sex scenes, anal and vaginal penetration, double penetration, fingering, pussy eating, nipple teasing. exhibitionsim kink: sex in public spaces, groping. brat taming: spanking, overstimming, edging. pet names: baby, beautiful, brat, bunny, filthy girl, good girl, princess (hers) handsome, babe, baby, baby boy, altar boy (joshua's) baby (jeonghan) ✮ author's note: heyooooo. this note is to explain that the instances where Bunny with capital letter is mentioned, it is a placeholder for "Y/N", oke oke, bye ( • ω • )🩵 ✮ additional note: this is not proofread, as always. so if you spot silly mistakes, no you didn't. bye 🤘🏻 ✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part iii

The light rain pattering against the windows had created a pleasant lullaby that accompanied you in your dreams, though made fragile by the constant noise, you welcomed it.

Your boyfriend's arms hugged you languidly but close to him, so close in fact that you were breathing on his skin, your face kept snuggled against his chest.

It was three nights before he was scheduled to go on tour. So, every single night and day, Joshua made sure he spent it like this: close to you, searching for you to kiss your face, to hold your hand, to hug you.

However, this night was different.

Joshua was an incredibly good sleeper. He fell asleep with such ease made you feel envious sometimes, he never budged, never woke up with any noise, unlike you.

So, when the sky rumbled, announcing a heavier rain for the following moments, you woke up. Shortly then, you knew that it would take a while for you to fall asleep again.

Defeated, you sighed softly against your boyfriend's skin, snuggling close so your face was almost pressed between the crook between his well-defined pecs.

Initially, his limbs seemed to twitch uncontrollably, making a something flash through your mind, thinking that he might have woken up too by the loud sounding of the sky.

But no, Joshua did it again in his sleep, his body tensing in a snap, his shoulders contracting and chest bumping against your face. The sound escaping from his lips was broken, and hollow—a groan that was cut short by him waking up abruptly.

“Joshua?” you called when he flinched violently and sat up in quick succession.

You felt a heavy hand palm the bedcovers, searching for something beside him frantically until he felt your knee, your calf and let out a sigh.

You saw his back rising and falling rapidly and quickly sat up beside him. “Babe?” you asked, voice full of worry. “What's wrong?”

“I'm fine, I'm fine,” he gasped crestfallen, his back to you still, rising and falling erratically. His hand circled your ankle above the covers, almost as if he needed to anchor himself to any part of your body he could find.

“Joshua, look at me,” you insisted, unsure that he had woken up completely, feeling his body shake slightly on the bed.

Your heart crushed upon seeing his furrowed brow, his eyelashes clumped by the tears that were brimming in his eyes.

“I'm okay, baby, I'm fine,” he whispered shakily, sniffling with some shyness, and bringing up his other hand to wipe his own tears.

“No, you're not,” you breathed and cupped his cheek wet with tears, commanding him to look at you. “Baby, what's wrong? Talk to me, what happened?”

His mouth parted, your heart broke a bit more when his lip quivered, and he gave you an anguished look. “I don't know,” he whispered, as he drew in a breath, a ragged sound came out from him. “I don't know.”

But his next actions said otherwise, he took your hand from his cheek and threw your arm over his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around you, clumsily hugging you.

“I'm okay, I'm okay,” he repeated, over and over, making you think that he was telling that to himself instead of you. “I'm sorry, Bunny. I didn't mean to scare you.”

“It's okay, don't apologize,” you muttered against his chest, gasping softly when Joshua brought your body back down on the bed. “I'm only worried about you.”

Joshua muttered something unintelligible under his breath, but you could not make out what he said exactly. His arms tightened around your body, and he sighed out with a hum. “Mn,” his chest deflated and soon, he fell asleep again.

Now you were unsure whether what had happened was in Joshua's complete clarity. But you waited, fully alarmed and awake, you did not dare to move a limb, even your breathing was cautious.

Joshua did not wake up again. In fact, you are not sure for how long you waited until you fell asleep as well, holding onto him just as he held onto you.

The following morning, his side of the bed was cold and empty when you came to your senses, stretching one arm beneath the covers and opened your eyes.

You slowly rose from the bed, adjusting the oversized t-shirt you wore to sleep and climbed off bed, deciding to head directly to the bathroom after hearing some noises coming from the kitchen.

After rinsing, and making yourself look a bit more presentable, you came out of the bathroom. The first thing that piqued your interest was the smell of coffee coming from the kitchen, being so that Joshua was committed with taking you out for breakfast these days.

You stopped upon crossing the kitchen's door, feeling like being slapped with wild reality.

“Morning, princess.”

“Jeonghan,” you blurted and crossed your arms over your chest, meekly covering yourself over your boyfriend's t-shirt. “G-good morning.”

Jeonghan was busy with whisking a heavy bowl of eggs, so he just followed you with his sweet brown eyes when you approached him shyly.

His movements slowed down when you stood beside him, standing on your tiptoes to give him a small peck on his cheek. Jeonghan blinked and sent you a look that you were not able to read, but then he smiled at you just as sheepish.

“Did you sleep alright, baby?” he muttered, his eyes reading yours, then looking at your lips.

Something fluttered deep inside you, and you could see that your reaction was involuntarily made visible on the features of your face because his lips curved slightly.

You had not seen Jeonghan since the day after you agreed to Joshua's proposition, which allowed you to be with Jeonghan freely—not as friends, but as lovers. But being alone with him like this, without your boyfriend around somehow felt off to you.

“Uh, yeah, um,” you blinked and looked around aimlessly. “Where is Joshua?”

Jeonghan resumed whisking the big bowl of eggs. “Your boyfriend is in a meeting with his band and the tour manager,” he nodded to his phone left unlocked on the countertop. “He's supposed to be coming back any time now.”

“He didn't tell me about this,” you mumbled glumly and stopped yourself. It felt odd to talk about your relationship now that Jeonghan was technically your partner too.

But he seemed impassive to it, he just nodded and sucked in a breath slowly, thinking of what to say. “Yeah, it appears to be a thing that came out of nowhere. I ran into him on the elevator,” he pressed his palms on the edge of the countertop.

“So... did he tell you to come here?” you asked and looked at the bowl of eggs. “To make breakfast?”

“No,” he frowned and turned to the stove setting up the frying pan and turned the fire to a medium. “I came here to see you, but you were still asleep. I grew bored. And hungry.”

“Oh,” you huffed a smile. “And here I thought you were making me breakfast.”

Jeonghan looked over to show you a sly smile. “Don't think too highly of yourself, princess.”

“Why not, since you call me princess all the time, I should be treated as such,” you replied in a matter-of-factly way.

Jeonghan stood frozen for a second. “Tsk,” he snorted. “Brat.”

At some point, you had referred to Yoon Jeonghan as your best friend. From the moment you met him, he quickly became someone you trusted, someone you searched for company. It was only until you realized that you had grown feelings for him that everything changed.

It did not seem odd to you that he would still try to tease you in some way, in fact, you welcomed it. It gave you a sense of familiarity with him, that your relationship had not changed in its entirety.

But still, something felt a bit nerve wracking.

You grabbed two cups to pour some coffee in. “Just milk, right?”

“Just milk,” he nodded, focused on cooking the scrambled eggs without browning them. “Thank you.”

“Don't mention it,” you whispered. “D'you want toast, too?”

“I bought croissants,” he nudged you with his elbow, pointing with his beautiful nose to the paper bag sitting on the countertop.

“Oh, nice,” you smiled stiffly, opening the bag to get the fresh smell of butter and bread. The bag had three pieces. “Thank you, Jeongjeong.”

“Don't mention it,” he replied in kind, but he looked you up and down for a second before he busied himself with serving three plates of scrambled eggs with bacon.

“What?” you asked after a long minute of silence, watching Jeonghan methodically finish cooking breakfast.

He set the frying pan aside and turned the stove off. “Nothing,” he hummed, shaking his black-haired head twice. He turned to you, in the enclosed space between the kitchen counters and you took a step back as he tried to approach you.

“What's up with you, princess?” he asked softly, taking another step, you took one back, then another until you bumped with the fridge.

“You make me nervous,” you confessed with a shaky tone, looking straight to his eyes as he read you in his expert way. You tried to suppress a smile, but when you saw his lips curve in a side smirk, you failed. “Joshua isn't here.”

“So?” he arched one eyebrow, then he blinked, seemingly finding out what you meant. “Do you think this is wrong?”

You eased into your stance a little by loosening the tension in your shoulders. “No. I just don't—this is just so new to me still,” you pointed to your body and his with one finger swiftly.

“Oh,” he paused and then: “I get it,” Jeonghan shrugged, and turned to grab two plates setting them on the table and returned to get the other one.

Completely bewildered, you watched him come and go. You wondered, why now as he turned his back to you that you wanted to grab him and regain his attention. But there you were, back still pressed against the fridge, the thing snapping you to full clarity was the noise coming from the front door.

“Ah, you're back,” you heard Jeonghan say in his own content manner. “Made a plate for you too.”

“Hey, man. Thanks,” your boyfriend sighed, there was some ruffling of fabric, and you assumed it was him removing his denim jacket, proving yourself right when you came out of the kitchen. “Where—oh, there you are.”

You smiled meekly at him, his eyes scanning your frame, noticing that you were still in your sleepwear, which was his oversized t-shirt. Joshua extended an arm as he approached you, a hand sliding on your waist. “Hi, beautiful,” he muttered after pressing a tender kiss on your lips.

“Hi, handsome,” you replied quietly, giving him a shy smile when you saw his eyes. “How was work?”

“It was fine,” he said flatly, and you could tell that it was a subject that he would prefer to not talk about just yet.

“Are you okay?” you whispered softly, reading his eyes to catch every single reaction written on his face.

“Yeah,” he nodded dismissively and then: “Did you just wake up?” Joshua realized, backing away slightly, but keeping a hand on your waist as he read the features of your face.

“Yeah,” you giggled when he shot you a mildly shocked look. “I didn't get much sleep last night,” you explained, occupying a seat on the round table next to Jeonghan, who huffed loudly.

“Ah, Joshuji, you need to let princess sleep sometimes,” he teased with a cheeky smile.

A hot wave of embarrassment washed over your face. But Joshua giggled joyfully, throwing his head back slightly. “Well, I'm not the culprit this time.”

You cocked your head to one side, making both men pause. Jeonghan darted a look at your boyfriend and suppressed a smile. “Josh, you don't remember last night?” you asked with some caution.

Joshua slowed down on his movements, leaving his fork hanging between his fingers as he chewed almost mechanically. “What do you mean?” he frowned.

“Tsk,” Jeonghan seemed to be preparing to shoot a joke, but upon reading your face, he stopped.

“Wait, are you serious?” you asked him, stretching a hand on the table to grab his. “You don't remember anything?”

Joshua lowered his fork completely, his gaze falling out of focus as if he were conjuring the memory of what you meant. He shook his head slightly. “Baby, I don't think I know what you mean,” he looked beside him at his best friend and smiled awkwardly. “Did I do something?”

“You were dreaming,” you explained carefully. “And then you woke up crying.”

Joshua blinked, giving you a bewildered expression. “I don't remember anything,” his frown deepened, then he squeezed your hand. “I'm sorry that I kept you up, baby.”

“No, don't be,” you muttered, retreating your hand from his to grab your fork and started eating from your plate, though the food had already gone cold.

Jeonghan sat down on the couch, releasing a heavy sigh. His bright eyes found you as you sat next to him. Joshua had taken the task to do the dishes after convincing you by saying that I was only fair since Jeonghan cooked breakfast.

“What's up, princess,” Jeonghan mumbled, making you set your phone aside when he slid one hand on your thigh.

The motion of his hand inching up your thigh send a chill through your body. You tried to brush it off. “I'm just worried,” you replied with a hushed tone.

His eyes darted to the kitchen, buzzing with the sounds of dishes clanking together, water running and Joshua's voice, singing one of his songs.

“Why?” Jeonghan knew right away what you meant without needing to explain more. “We just have to trust him. If he says he's okay, then let him show you that he is.”

“But last night...” you whispered, then choked up upon remembering and shook your head in resignation.

“Baby, he has been making an effort to keep his promise,” Jeonghan muttered, darting another look, and shifting on his seat, thighs wide apart. “He has been communicating, he's present, and we're here.”

You nodded. Ever since Joshua confessed that he wanted you to work things out with Jeonghan too, he has been lively, much as if a weight had been lifted from his heart. Now, as he figured things out and sorted his opinions on the matter, he would voice them out with you and Jeonghan.

“That's another thing that worries me,” you whispered nervously, feeling like the opportunity to speak about this with Jeonghan would run up soon. “I don't know how an open relationship works; I don't know what to expect.”

Jeonghan moved his head on the headrest, a question written in his beautiful eyes. “What do you mean, princess?” he asked, reading your features.

“Yeah, I don't know how I'll feel when he starts dating someone new,” you blurted out hurriedly, whispering to the point that you need to take a big gulp of air afterwards.

Jeonghan smiled with a slow realization and blinked for a long second. “Baby, this is not an open relationship,” he said. “Did you really think that this arrangement allowed for him to date other people?”

You nodded meekly.

“What's going on?” your boyfriend asked, his gentle tone coming so abruptly made you nearly jump off the couch. Seeing your reaction, he paused: “Am I interrupting something?”

“No, not at all,” you gulped and looked at your lover sitting beside you. “We-we were just talking about a book that–,”

“Princess thought that we're in an open relationship,” Jeonghan stated flatly.

Your heartbeat faltered. “Jeonghan,” you reproached with a sunken tone.

“You need to lie better,” Jeonghan retorted.

“There was no way I would've believed that,” Joshua concurred in a nonchalant way. But then, he moved on quickly with a, “What made you think that bunny?”

“I–I don't know, I was just saying that I d-don't really know what to expect when you go away and,” you inhaled deeply, and exhaled: “We haven't talked about what happens when you go away, not extensively.”

Joshua smiled; it was not a condescending smile but one of relief as he understood where the root of your insecurities was.

“Because this isn't an open relationship,” Joshua explained gently and sat down on the empty space beside you. “That would mean that all three of us can see other people, right?”

You nodded.

Joshua continued. “But this isn't that, it's just between us three,” he gestured with a hand to Jeonghan, then you and him. “An open relationship would mean that you can have sex with multiple people but staying with me in a committed way.”

“This is a poly. I won't see or date other people, neither will Joshua,” Jeonghan explained too after you looked at him and he saw your confused face. “And well, do you want to see more people, baby?” he smirked.

Joshua smiled too when you made a scandalized expression with your face. “No!” you shook your head.

“I'm okay with you and Jeonghan dating, he is okay with us being together,” he finished explaining with a satisfied expression on his face. “Questions?”

“So, you won't see other people, not even when you go away,” it was not a question, it was more like you were reaffirming it and thus putting your concerns at rest.

“No, bunny, not even when I go away,” he smiled gently at you, probably finding your worry endearing.

“Is it not a bit unfair that you can't see other people?” you asked, your heart skipping a beat over the heaviness of the question.

“But I don't want that,” he frowned slightly. “I just want you.”

Jeonghan leaned his head against his fist, propping his elbow on the armrest. He smiled softly when you sent him a look and nodded, agreeing with your boyfriend.

You paused for a moment, gathering your thoughts. “And following your logic, you two could be with each other, yes?” you cocked your head to the side.

Joshua tilted his head back, letting out a sweet giggle, making your stomach flutter.

“Yes, princess, in theory,” Jeonghan answered and squeezed your bare thigh with his hand, making your tummy flutter erratically.

“Okay,” you sighed contently with the new information, paused, and thought for a long second. “I think I'd be okay with that.”

With a sigh, you simply lied down on the couch you were sitting with the two men, leaning your head down on Jeonghan's lap and outstretching your legs to Joshua.

You realized upon looking up at Jeonghan's face that you did not give both men the opportunity to reply to your admittance, the obfuscated look flashing on his eyes told you that much.

“Mn,” you hummed happily, stretching your limbs, and exhaled looking up at your lover, who was expertly shaking off the bewilderment.

“You have a long day ahead, right Joshuji?” he asked, placing a hand on your tummy, and you noticed the pause he took before doing so, much as if he were not sure where to place his hand, but deciding that was where it belonged.

Joshua took one look at the hand placed flatly over his t-shirt that you wore. “Yeah,” he croaked. “I should probably be getting ready. Got a press thing in some hours,” he announced.

“I'm taking princess to help me shop for something to wear for tonight,” Jeonghan mentioned offhandedly, you drew in a breath, and he felt it, making his eyes search your face.

“So, see you there, then?” Joshua asked, gently adjusting your feet back so he could rise from the couch. Then, his large hands grabbed his black wife-beater by the hem, stripping it off his torso.

“We'll be there,” you whispered, trapping your lower lip behind your teeth.

Joshua noticed your eyes on him, his naked torso and smiled. “You can join me if you want,” he muttered, turning away and as you saw the well-defined muscle in his back, something sparked in your mind.

Jeonghan had his eyes set on your boyfriend too, his facial expression hard to read. You heard the bathroom door close, and his eyes dropped to your face. “What?”

“Did I overstep with my questions?” you asked shyly.

“You did no such thing,” he muttered softly, removing his hand from your tummy to pinch your chin. “He knows.”

“About you being bi?” you incited.

“Of course,” he shrugged slightly. “You know I don't have secrets.”

“Do you think I made him uncomfortable?” you asked although you already suspected the answer.

“Probably not, or at least I don't think so,” he chuckled lightly. “Relax, you did nothing wrong, baby. Your questions are valid.”

“Did you tell him?” you asked with genuine curiosity. “I'm sorry but I'm kind of curious as to how you guys met.”

“He still hasn't told you that story?” he huffed, his hand returned to your tummy, where he patted gently. “Yeah, I told him. Just like I told you. But with Joshua it was different, since we've had threesomes before, we discussed what we're comfortable with, so.”

“Oh, that makes a lot of sense,” you frowned.

He smiled cutely at you. “Are you more at ease now?”

“Yeah, I think so,” you muttered. “I'm just curious.”

“I'm an open book, princess,” he giggled softly. “Go ahead.”

Your eyelids fluttered briefly when his hand traveled down to your lower tummy, then back up, as if caressing you over your sleepwear. “When did it started?”

“The threesomes?” he pushed his eyebrows up, then raised his head, brow furrowed now as he tried to remember. “Huh. Maybe some four... five months after I met him.”

“Really?” your voice shot up.

“You've never asked him stuff like this?” he asked in an unpatronizing way, it was genuine curiosity.

“Well, yeah but I've never asked him for details about his past experiences with you,” you tilted your head to one side. “Or at least, he's never mentioned it.”

“It's just what it was, fun consensual sex,” he rolled his eyes, slightly unpleased with his own answer. “We've only done it a few times, at least some four times before you.”

“So, six now,” you added dumbly.

He nodded. “Any more questions, beautiful?”

“Mmn, no, I don't think so,” you smiled softly at him. “I'm just curious, since most of my... more daring sexual experiences have been with him, and you. I wanted to know a bit further from the experiences that involved me.”

“That's fair,” he conceded. “But it's a good idea that you ask him too, right?”

“Right,” you aloofly.

“Now that I think about it,” Jeonghan drew in a breath through his teeth, his frown deepening softly.

“What?” you egged him on.

“Was Joshua your first sexual partner?” he asked cautiously, aware of the heaviness of the topic of conversation. But he understood that you were open to talk about it, since your questions were revolving around sex.

“No,” you replied flatly. “But he has been the first in many things,” you giggled shamefully when you realized how it sounded. “I was mostly inexperienced in many things when we met.”

“Oh, yes, I remember that now,” he pointed, referring to your very chaotic deal with Joshua to be your sexual partner so you could write sexually explicit scenes for your book.

“Yeah,” you nodded, lost in the distant memory. “I've explored many things with him. And now with you too.”

Jeonghan smiled at you, it was the kind of smile he did when he pressed his lips together in a flat line, making tiny dimples appear on his chin.

“Do you want to go get ready, baby?” Jeonghan patted your tummy, noticing your distant eyes. “Go.”

You sat up but sat on your knees next to him to bring a hand to the crook of his beautiful neck, making his eyes snap open in surprise, which was quickly replaced by something else.

You landed a small peck on his lips. “Wanna come with me?” you mumbled shakily, batting your eyelashes at him awkwardly.

“So, you're not worried about this anymore?” he asked with some gruffness in his tone, a hand encircling your wrist, and the other cupping your nape to kiss you again.

“A little bit, but,” you drew in a breath, and he took the opportunity to press his lips against yours with a soft smacking sound. “You need a shower. You're stinky.”

“No, I'm not,” he giggled, but caught your misdirect with a nod of his head. “Let's go.”

You stood up from the couch, taking his hand in yours as you dragged him towards the bathroom. You heard him release a short grunt when you pulled him from the couch and fell into step with you.

The bathroom door was left parted and inviting you in, you delivered a soft knock before pushing it open and sneaked a look inside.

“Hi there,” he smiled softly, he had discarded his dark grey jeans, and stood before the shower wearing only his boxers. “Are you joining me?”

“Yup,” you sighed, turning to Jeonghan standing behind you as your boyfriend approached. “Come here,” you grabbed the black-haired man by his clothes, dragging him to you and immediately took his t-shirt off, then the beanie on his head and dropped them on the floor.

“Slow down, princess,” he giggled sweetly, but letting you rid him of his clothes since he was the one wearing most.

“Let her have fun,” your boyfriend said behind you, his large hands slipping beneath the large t-shirt you wore, finding your waist as he planted a kiss on your cheek.

“What do you want, baby?” Jeonghan asked, looking at you with avid eyes as your boyfriend's hands slid upwards, hiking the t-shirt up and uncovering your thighs.

“I want both of you,” you replied, though your voice sounded breathless, laughing shakenly as your boyfriend caressed the sides of your breasts with his fingers. He finished removing the t-shirt off, now moving his face to press his lips on your naked shoulder.

“We're going to make Joshuji late,” he smirked when your eyelids fluttered wildly when you felt a wet kiss on your shoulder blade.

“I can be late,” he muttered at once, his voice muffled in the crook of your neck. His large hands moving back to your waist, then down to find the band of your boy-short panties, pushing them down your legs.

You busied yourself with the casing of his sweatpants, undoing it with a jab. “Do you want to do this, Hannie?” you coaxed at him, stripping him off his sweats and boxers in one go.

“Course I do,” he whispered, closing the space between your lips and his own with a featherlight kiss. “I always want you.”

“Mmn,” Joshua hummed, using his hands on you to flip you around with no effort, so now you stood face to face with him.

“Be nice,” you smirked, noticing his darkened gaze on the features of your face. Your hands traveled down, from his chest to the waistband of his boxers, tugging them down slowly, his hard cock springing out, making your mouth water upon feeling him with your hand.

Joshua clicked his tongue, but then ended up smiling guiltily at you. “Fine. I'll be nice,” he whispered reluctantly, and then pulled the shower tap on, testing the water briefly before taking your hand and bringing you under the shower stream.

What happened next was something that only happened in your craziest, wildest fantasies. Both men had switched to the same mindset already, taking turns with teasing you with kisses, touching you, determined to make you feel good.

The shower head was directly above you, getting your hair and skin soaked within seconds, but the warmth in your skin was not only due to the water washing over you.

Both men had you pressed against their bodies, one look at Joshua's face told you just how eager he was already. The spark in his eyes, biting his lower lip before he leaned his head to capture your lips in a chaste kiss.

Jeonghan slid his hands to grab you by the waist, pressing tender kisses on your shoulder, making a trail to the crook of your neck. You tilted your head for him, allowing his kisses to reach spots that had your breath hitching, moaning softly.

Your hands held onto your boyfriend's strong shoulders, fingers digging into his muscle when you felt Jeonghan's delicate hands travel from your waist up.

“Hannie,” you mewled out when his hands cupped your breasts. Realizing that he had never touched you this way before, you opened your eyes to see him run the pads of his pointer fingers around your areola, exploring your body.

Joshua leaned his head forward once again, trapping your lips between his with a raspy moan from his part, slipping his tongue inside your mouth, wrapping perfectly on yours.

Then a large hand parked on your tummy, sliding slowly down to your lower tummy, a finger finding the mount between your thighs. You let out a needy moan, parting your legs and pushing your hips forward.

But your knees buckled, making you push a hand on his shoulder, stopping him before his finger dipped between your pussy lips. “Joshua,” you breathed nervously.

“Mn?” he responded, pressing small kisses on the corner of your lips, a fingertip sliding between your pussy lips, finding your sopping core with a satisfied sigh.

“Please,” you mewled out, pulling your head back and rested it on Jeonghan's shoulder.

“Please, what?” he whispered, planting a kiss on your earlobe, sending shivers down your spine, making you arch your back.

Your mouth hanged open when Joshua dipped a finger inside your pussy, his doe eyes zeroed on your face riddled by the pleasure of feeling his finger massaging your walls, another finger joining after a couple of thrusts.

“Oh my god,” you sighed and closed your eyes, letting yourself be engrossed by the blissful pleasure coursing through you. Both Joshua and Jeonghan were pleasuring you, touching your bare skin freely, kissing you, responding to the sounds you made with their own.

You would soon be covered in soapy bubbles, dripping from head to toe but you could not care about that, or about how you were the only one being showered by the warm stream of water. Joshua’s hands were pleasuring you, his lips kissing you. A large hand searched for your hip, grabbing your thigh, and hoisting it up his waist, holding you steady.

Your arms circled his neck, squealing in his mouth when you nearly lose your balance, but he kept you firmly wrapped around his body. His fingers curled inside you, teasing a glorious spot in your walls, making you muffle a high-pitch moan in his mouth.

“Stop, stop,” you choked out.

Both men paused at the same time, one man lifting his head from your shoulder, the other pulling back from your lips, hand leaving the needy mount between your thighs.

“Yes, baby?” Joshua asked, reading your face.

“C-can we continue this on the bed?” you stammered slightly embarrassed.

“Yeah, sure,” he smiled at you.

“Come on, princess,” Jeonghan took the lead right away, being so that he was not as soaked as your boyfriend was and pulled you out of the shower.

You giggled nervously when your back hit the mattress, Jeonghan crawled on top of you, pressing a kiss in your lips before diving in for a deeper kiss, his tongue swiping a line on your lower lip.

“We're soaking the covers,” you hummed in between rushed kisses.

Jeonghan let out a chuckle into your mouth, probably thinking some perverse retort. His nose wrinkled slightly but he just shook his head, drops of water joining the ones on your chest when he leaned down.

You arched your back slightly when his tongue swirled around one of your nipples, you felt the underside of his tongue teasing your nipple, getting it hard. A hand snapped to find his black hair to tangle your fingers in.

“God, Hannie,” you gasped, but were swiftly distracted by Joshua pressing a knee on the edge of the bed, his hand tossing a bottle of lube and a condom on the empty space beside you.

You frowned and looked up at him, formulating a question silently with your mouth agape.

“It's for me,” he explained, noticing your face. He crawled to lie beside you. “We're gonna have to do this quick,” he reiterated with a more commanding tone, his hand cupping your cheek before leaning his face to meet your lips.

You tried to nod your head yes, but his hand slid on the back, his fingers sinking in your wet hair as he kissed you deeper, his wet tongue swiftly meeting yours.

Then you understood Joshua did not say that to you precisely. Jeonghan lowered his body on you, leaving a wet kiss next to your belly button, making you squirm slightly.

Suddenly you felt your hand being removed from the long and wet black hair of your lover. His lithe fingers came between yours and placed your locked hands on the covers, beside your hip.

You knew it was coming before you could have a chance to see it. Your body tensed up too, bracing yourself for the first contact of Jeonghan's mouth on your mound, kissing you openly.

Joshua stopped kissing you, moving his hand from your nape to your chin to hold your gaze. “Look at me,” he whispered, just as Jeonghan's tongue gave a broad stroke to your pussy lips.

You flinched, making your breath hitch embarrassingly. “Hannie,” you squeezed his hand, and he responded with a groan, his tongue dipping between your folds.

Joshua held your gaze intently, his dark eyes outlining each of your features. “Don't look at him,” he muttered with a low, raspy tone.

You tried to suppress a moan, eyebrows knitting by reflex when Jeonghan started making out with your pussy, his mouth pressed tightly on your folds, licking, and tasting you fully.

But it was your boyfriend that held your gaze, his fingers threading your hair lovingly, caressing your cheek as you moaned and squirmed on the bed. “Joshua,” you moaned, calling out his name purely by instinct.

A dark smile appeared on his face. “Yes, baby?” he whispered. He leaned his head ever so slightly to one side. “How does that feel?”

“Good,” you breathed, closing your eyes briefly to focus on your lover pleasuring you, on his tongue pressed on your clit, swirling it around. “God,” you swallowed hard, trying to hold to the pleasure sizzling on your skin. “Just like that, Hannie.”

“Mn,” your boyfriend's lips pressed on yours once. “Eyes on me, bunny,” he commanded.

When you did, you tried to get a look at the man between your legs, but Joshua's large hand came to cup your chin, making you look at him.

“Make her come,” he muttered looking straight into your eyes. It was a challenge, you saw it written in his dark eyes, in the smirk that curved his beautiful lips.

And it was a challenge that Jeonghan took at once, his hand gripping your thigh moved to your lower tummy, pressing down slightly right before diving in you with his mouth on your cunt.

“Fuck,” you squeezed your eyes shut.

You wondered when Jeonghan was going to give up—but probably the question lied in if he were giving up. His mouth was unrelenting on you, his tongue flicking the sensitive bundle of nerves in your cunt.

The sounds he made on you were of delight, basically telling you he loved being there, between your legs, eliciting raw moans from you with his tongue on your clit.

“P-please,” you sighed, finding your boyfriend's face with your free hand.

“Please, what?” he hummed. The mewl you let out as a response made him smile at you. “You're close, baby?”

You nodded; you were very close.

“Go ahead, baby,” Joshua purred as he trailed a line with the tip of his finger from the middle part of your collarbone, down your chest, to your sternum. “Come on his mouth.”

You hated that it was his voice, his command that almost tipped you over. But you resisted with everything in your will from it, pushing your hips towards Jeonghan's face slightly, making him groan in protest.

You found his nape with the hand that was not clasped in his, pushing your hips to his face once again. In a couple of thrusts, you were practically fucking his face, swaying your hips, sliding your pussy on his mouth.

With a strangled sigh, you closed your eyes, savoring your release as Jeonghan quickly understood what you were doing. And without skipping a second, he went along with it, relaxing his tongue onto your throbbing clit.

You held in a big gulp of air, squeezing your eyelids as you reached your second climax, whining and squeezing Jeonghan's fingers. He responded with a groan of his own, his hand pressing lower on your tummy, helping you through your high.

“Mn,” you heard your boyfriend sound unimpressed, but still leaned in to kiss your whiny moans, capturing your lips gently. “Filthy girl,” he hummed a smile on his face as he kept kissing you until you stopped thrashing and moaning.

Heaving, you released Jeonghan's hand and hair opening your eyes feeling nearly disoriented.

The first thing you saw was your boyfriend’s hands opening a condom. “Turn over, bunny,” Joshua patted your side lightly.

“No, not yet,” you protested rebelliously, just when Jeonghan rose from between your legs, crawling on top of your body, claiming your lips with a hot, passionate kiss.

You could taste yourself in his lips, feel your slick dripping down his lower lip as he hummed and kissed you fervently. Your hands found his shoulders and pushed, motioning him to lie back on the bed.

That he did, quite obediently. And as he laid his head on the pillows, his bright eyes found your face, very eagerly telling you without a word that he was enjoying you step on a slightly more commanding role.

You got to your knees, taking in the view of the two men you loved, lying naked on your bed. They were both damp on their skin, their hair. Rock hard for you. You leaned over, propping your body with one hand on the pillows to kiss Jeonghan on the lips, blindly running a hand down Joshua's abdomen.

You could feel his gaze on you as you rolled your tongue past Jeonghan's lips, making him moan into your mouth. The tips of your fingers felt your boyfriend's belly button, so you just inched to the side, grabbing his hard cock with one hand, pumping it languidly.

“Tsk,” you heard your boyfriend clicking his tongue. Then his large hands circled your waist, pulling you down forcefully, detaching you from your lover's lips.

A small yelp left your mouth, your body hitting the mattress. You sent him a look. “Joshua!” you protested.

But then he brought down his large hand on your ass, the slap resounding across the bedroom. “Brat.”

“Mnf,” you squeezed your eyelids at the hot pain searing on your skin. You heard someone sigh, making you open one eye to see Jeonghan smiling at you, as if he found you cute.

“Behave,” Joshua conditioned, caressing the sore area of your skin with care. “Or should I get the cuffs?”

“I can behave,” you muttered, meekly settling in between both men. “No cuffs.”

“Good,” he breathed, getting the condom out of the packet and rolled it down his cock to his hilt. “Lie sideways with your back to me.”

You knew what his plan was at once, and did what he told you, lying on your side with your back to him. And then you knew that both had communicated wordlessly once again. Jeonghan slid a hand on your hip, grabbing a handful of your glute to keep you spread to your boyfriend.

“Breathe in, baby,” Joshua whispered behind you, his fingers caressing your hole softly, sighing when he felt it clench instinctively, right before he started to push on your hole, smearing you with cold lube slowly.

Joshua’s hand slid between your thighs, lifting one up to spread your legs open. Then you felt Jeonghan’s hand on your mound, making you look at his fingers right before he started teasing your swollen clit again, the pads of his fingers mimicking the same movements he made with his tongue, softly teasing your clit, moving his fingers side to side.

You moaned helplessly against him, receiving one consoling kiss as Joshua’s lubed fingers pushed inside you, slowly, pushing in and out slightly, testing you at first. “God,” you squirmed.

“Alright?” Joshua breathed behind you, and you turned to look at him over your shoulder nodding your head. “Can I give you more?”

“Yeah,” you gave him a reassuring nod.

“Okay,” he breathed, locking eyes with you as his fingers scissored inside you slightly, looking at your mouth as you let out another moan.

You turned your head again receiving another soft kiss on your shoulder blade. You heard him pump more lube onto his hands, and his fingers returned to spread you open.

He pushed another inch in, and you shivered uncontrollably, closing your eyes, and swallowing hard. “Josh,” you mewled. “Please, hurry.”

“Just a little more,” he mumbled and pressed a loving kiss on your shoulder blade. “Can you arch your back for me? There, baby, that's it.”

A hand crawled on Jeonghan's slender shoulder, finding the crook of his neck, and held on him for support as you practically thrashed on the bed, in between both Jeonghan and Joshua.

“Please,” you begged, biting your lower lip to muffle a moan when his fingers spread inside you.

“Almost there,” he replied cautiously. “Breathe out.”

It was then that you finally felt the lubed tip of his cock push in your hole, tortuously slow.

“Oh god,” you squeezed your eyes shut, fingers curling on Jeonghan's wet dark hair.

“Fuck,” Joshua exhaled, leaning his forehead on your exposed nape. “Baby.”

“Please,” you whined, loving the feeling spreading on your limbs, tingling from under your skin. “More.”

Joshua grunted, complying without a word, pushing his cock inside you a bit further, but just about enough to make you cry out loudly, and so very lewdly.

“That's it, baby,” he muttered softly, planting another soothing kiss on your nape. “You're taking me so well.”

Then he released a puffy air on your nape that sent shivers down your spine. He retreated his hips, then pushed them to you, burying his cock further into you with a small groan.

“God,” he sighed, repeatedly with each shallow thrust.

“Joshua,” you cried, receiving small kisses on your shoulder blade.

You opened your eyes upon feeling Jeonghan's cold hand squeeze your skin gently, as if telling you wordlessly to look at him.

“Can you take me now, princess?” he asked, his eyes outlining the features of your face.

You nodded, gulping hard.

A large hand moved to your hip, brushing with Jeonghan's as they exchanged tasks, Joshua cupping your thigh and keeping your leg angled to both.

Jeonghan bit his lower lip as he adjusted his hips, aligning them with yours. He sent you a quick glance as his hand grabbed his pretty cock, guiding its leaking tip to your pussy. And with no pause, no teasing, he eased himself inside you slowly, cautiously.

A raw moan escaped your mouth as he pushed his cock inside your walls, the feeling so deliriously good you saw stars when you closed your teary eyes.

Joshua moaned too, probably savoring the feeling of your walls being stuffed full. “Fuck,” he muttered through gritted teeth, breathing hard on the curve of your neck.

You could not utter a single word. Everything had gone blank in a second. All you could focus on was the pleasure you got from the two men you loved inside you. All that occupied your brain was them, their skin plastered to yours, them moaning with you. One kissing your nape, your hair. The other kissing your face.

“Hannie... Hannie,” you breathed out in his mouth, and you could feel the effect your voice had in him, his hips buckled for a split second, eliciting a moan from you and from Joshua at the same time.

But both kept their seamless synchronicity, pushing in and out of you at the same time, their bodies pressed to yours, so warm, so full.

“I know, baby,” he responded with a low tone. “I feel it too,” he whispered, probably referring to the overwhelming pleasure you felt, the joy and love from being so close to both of your partners.

You turned your head over your shoulder to see the face of your boyfriend, whose lips stretched in a faint smile. “Do you like that?” he rasped, noticing the fucked out look in your eyes.

“Yeah,” you breathed, looking at his lips then back to his eyes.

His smile grew, knowingly leaning his face to yours to brush his lips with yours. “I know,” he whispered, his lips caressing yours. “You feel so good.”

You received a kiss on your neck, bringing out a moan that was muffled in Joshua's mouth as you leaned closer to kiss him deeply.

“So good,” Jeonghan sighed on your throat, his breath caressing your skin before he pressed more kisses.

You clumsily turned your head to kiss Jeonghan, he moved his face at the same time you did, finding your lips with a tender kiss, which you reciprocated with a whiny moan.

“Faster,” you muttered, sliding a hand on top of Jeonghan's, which was still parked on your hip. “Please, faster.”

Jeonghan nodded, complying at once. Joshua kissed your nape once more, also pushing inside you at a faster pace, falling in sync with Jeonghan in a second. Both started moaning more, their sweet and raw sounds flooding the room, pushing you closer and closer.

“Please,” you mewled heedlessly, losing yourself into a pool of pleasure, feeling so close to your sweet release. “Please, please, more.”

Joshua pressed his forehead to your exposed nape, muffling a raw moan against your skin, his lips giving you open kisses. His breathing had begun to catch, sounding shaky in your ear. “Baby,” he rasped, letting you know he was close too.

“You're close, baby?” Jeonghan muttered sweetly, learning to discern the sound of your voice when you were close to your orgasm, the faces you made.

You nodded your head in affirmation, unable to bring yourself to do more. Your body was firmly pressed to both, your clammy skin plastered together, you felt them breathe harder, heard them moan in near unison.

It drove you crazy. You loved it more and more: to be theirs, to feel them as close as humanly possible. They kept their thrusts fast and steady, always in sync, as if they shared one mind when they were with you.

Your hand circled Jeonghan's wrist, bracing yourself for the pleasure consuming you fast with a fiery wave, making you shut your eyes and cry out lewdly over and over. Both men responded with their own raw sounds, holding you tightly as they both succumbed with you helplessly.

“Fuck,” Joshua gritted, his face flush against in your hair, drowning raw moans. His fingers sunk in the plush of your thigh, gripping you tightly as he pushed his hips sloppily against your ass.

Jeonghan captured your lips in a hard kiss, his thrusts faltering too as he came, breathing and moaning faintly in your mouth, his hand squeezing you. “God, princess,” he groaned, keeping his mouth close to yours, nudging the tip of his nose with yours.

The thrusts stopped languidly. Joshua lowered your leg with great care, his large hand sliding to your waist, brushing with Jeonghan's. They both breathed hard, but kept their bodies pressed to yours.

“You're shaking,” Joshua giggled lazily. “Are you okay, baby?” he asked, moving his hand to pull your hair sticking to your cheek.

“Yeah,” you hummed, turning to see him. “Amazing.”

The smile he gave you made your heart twist. “You did so well,” his eyes read your face, his hand cupping your chin. “You're so perfect for us.”

The feeling fluttering from your tummy shocked you so hard you were unable to say a word. You smiled at him, the features of your face controlled by tiredness, he read it easily.

“Rest up, bunny,” he mumbled, the corners of his lips rising ever so slightly. “I'm going to clean up. I have to go to work.”

“Okay,” you breathed, giving him a reassuring look.

He nodded at you, okay, he mouthed. A large hand cupped your hip, holding you in place so he could pull out of you with a gentle motion, but it made you shiver, nonetheless.

You watched him over your shoulder as he walked out of the bedroom and turned to Jeonghan. His eyes were following you, as it was part of his habit: to observe you.

“Are you okay?” you asked with caution.

“I'm fine, baby,” he pressed his lips in a tiny smile, his eyes turning to half moons. “I'm just looking at you.”

You fought not to smile in utter embarrassment. “What, why?” you blurted.

A sheepish smile curved his lips. “I think your beautiful,” he said, and his tone faded in nervousness.

“Hannie,” you brought a hand to his shoulder, pushing him slightly in a playful way.

“What, I mean it!” he laughed, sliding his arm between the crook of your neck and the pillow, hugging your head. “Shut up,” he mumbled when you laughed with him.

“Ah, Jeonghan!” you yelped in protest when he pressed hard, punishing kisses on the crown of your head, but you broke in laughter, pushing him off. “Stop it!”

“Come back here,” he rasped, motioning you to cuddle up to him, opening his arms to you.

Your heart twisted inside your chest. However, you crossed the short space between you, putting your head on his shoulder and throwing a leg over his as he wrapped you in his arms.

There have been very few times that you had this kind of intimacy with Jeonghan. Since you began the agreement of being with both men at the same time, you had not found the chance to be this close to Jeonghan.

You welcomed it: his warmth, the smell on his skin, the little sounds he made. Some seconds passed, turning to minutes. He started to trace shapeless figures on your shoulder blade with the tips of his fingers.

“Are you falling asleep, princess?” he asked softly after a while.

“No,” you hummed, quite clearly telling a lie. The only sounds that filled your brain was Jeonghan's quiet breathing, and in the distance, the sounds Joshua would create as he got ready for work.

“Sleep, baby,” he suggested. “I can wake you up later.”

“I need to say goodbye to Josh,” you explained, your voice muffled by the crook of his neck, which you were nuzzling your face comfortably in.

“Okay,” he whispered, continuing to draw waves on your shoulder blade, making it harder for you to stay awake.

Some minutes later, you heard faint stirring noises around you, footsteps and someone say something. What woke you up was feeling the mattress dipping beside you.

“Bunny,” Joshua whispered. He was sitting on the bed beside you, a soft smile adorning his beautiful face. “I'll see you later, okay?”

You nodded. “Okay,” you hummed, turning from Jeonghan's warm embrace to face Joshua.

Joshua leaned down, grabbing your chin with his thumb and pointer finger. “Jeonghan's going to take care of you,” he muttered after pressing a loving kiss on your lips. “Be good, yeah?”

You loved whenever he talked sweetly at you, just like this. You nodded once again, showing him a waning smile. “Yeah,” you echoed, receiving another kiss. “Always.”

Joshua smirked ever so slightly. “I love you,” he said quietly, and part of you felt like he did not intend Jeonghan to be witness to the soft moment between you.

“I love you,” you replied just as meekly.

Joshua rose from the bed, turning to the door. “See you later, Jeonghannie,” he said, leaving the room.

“Later, Joshuji,” he replied, welcoming you back to his arms when you nuzzled him again.

And at that, you fell into a quick nap.

Then, you woke up before Jeonghan did you the favor of waking you up, you suspected at first but quickly found out that Jeonghan had fallen asleep with you. His soft snores, you realized, were the reason you were pulled out of your nap.

But despite that, you felt well rested. In the warmth of his arms, bundled up in the bedcovers, you could not find the purpose of getting out of bed.

However, you did not want to be late for the party. Knowingly, you lifted your head from Jeonghan's shoulder, snapping him awake easily.

“Morning,” you cooed with a smirk.

“Morning, baby,” he replied, bringing a hand to rub his eyes to then take a glance at his watch, he smiled. “We overslept.”

“You were supposed to wake me up,” you quipped.

“It's not my fault,” he giggled, cupping the back of your head with his hand to bring you back to his chest. “Your nap was highly contagious.”

“Oh, so it's my fault then.”

“Yes, everything is your fault,” he mumbled, his chest deflating beneath you.

“Don't fall asleep again,” you cautioned, but you could feel yourself slipping back into slumber.

“You first,” he replied, but then you felt him stifle a chuckle.

“Jeonghan,” you pressed.

“Give me a good reason.”

“We're going to be late for Joshua's party,” you replied with obviousness.

“We can be late for a couple of minutes,” he said, stirring on the bed sheets, pressing his arms around you, much as if he were getting ready for another long nap.

“Didn't you say you wanted to go to shop for something?”

“Mn yeah but I can wear somethin' else,” he muttered dismissively.

“Jeonghan,” you insisted. “Let's get dressed up.”

Jeonghan let out a giggle, the kind that would let you know whenever he was trying to tease you. “Alright, alright,” he clicked his tongue and sighed as he moved on the bed to get out of the bundles of covers.

You closed the car door with a small, laboured sigh.

“Mn, granny is tired already,” Jeonghan murmured with a low tone, his eyes set on the back-up camera of the car as he drove out of the parking spot with one hand.

“Shut up,” you bit back, enjoying the sound of his chuckle. “You’re older than me. And I am tired.”

Jeonghan drew a breath through his teeth pensively. “I know baby, but the day is far from over,” he muttered in a serious tone now. A hand slid on your thigh, his fingers pressing softly over the fabric of your jeans. “Relax. Let me take care of you today, yeah?”

“Mn, yeah, I’m going to need lots of pampering from you,” you smiled at him, grabbing his hand from your thigh.

His eyes remained on the road ahead, but you felt his movements stilling slightly right before he laced his fingers with yours. “You got it, princess,” he smirked.

“I want milk tea,” you giggled. “And a Danish pastry. Or two,” you held your two fingers in front of you.

Jeonghan looked at you through the corner of his eye and coughed up a laugh. “You call that pampering?” he teased. “That is like a normal Friday for you.”

“Well yeah, it’s a treat for me,” you explained, shrugging slightly.

“Okay, yes, a treat, not pampering,” he emphasized, glancing at you repeatedly.

“I indulge in other things too,” you pouted cutely at him. “I like shopping for books every now and then, music…”

“I know that but,” he rolled his eyes, going straight to the point: “What do you like to do for yourself? Not to serve others, to serve only you.”

You arched an eyebrow, opening your mouth to speak.

“You can’t mention sex,” he said, realizing what you were about to say right away.

“Hey,” you frowned, and he laughed in victory. “I don’t know. Well… I find work therapeutic sometimes.”

“But that's what it is, work,” he muttered, the car came to a stop. He used this as an opportunity to bring your laced hands to nib at your knuckles with his lips. “Have you been taking breaks?”

Your heart warmed at the question.

Jeonghan and you had taken some distance after the first threesome happened. After you realized that you withheld feelings for him very deep in your heart, you could no longer continue with your friendship with him.

So, for nearly a month, you went low contact, holding out for him to look for you to talk again and to be friends again. Though it was futile, since you knew how he felt about you, and you could not ignore how you felt about him.

You missed him. And it had been so long since you spoke with him like this, it felt good.

“Umn,” you paused, pretending to gather your answer.

“So, no breaks,” he shook his head lightly.

“Listen, the deadline for the second book draft is closer and closer and I am nowhere near done like I was for the first,” you tried to make up an excuse. But an exasperated sigh won over you. “I just want to get it done as soon as possible, but lately no words come out.”

“All the more reason for you to take a break,” he said, his lips still close to the back of your hand.

“You know I only take breaks whenever I finish a draft,” you countered.

He rolled his eyes. “But that draft will never come to be if you keep overworking yourself,” he chastised, now completely serious.

“Alright, I’ll take a break, then,” you conceded, but it was obvious for the both of you that you were not being completely truthful. You nodded to the road ahead. “Green light. Drive, old man.”

Jeonghan clicked his tongue. “Say goodbye to your pampering,” he muttered in a low tone.

You smiled, pleased. “I will take a break, soon,” you promised, now taking your laced hands to place a small peck on the back of his.

That did the trick, his gaze instantly softened. “Good.”

He turned the car off, clicking his belt off just as you were undoing yours. When you came out of the car, he was already going around it to walk up to you, taking your hand when you thoughtlessly reached out to hold his and walk together towards the mall.

Jeonghan paused for the fraction of a second, looking at your linked hands without skipping a step. “Hmph.”

“What?” you inquired, but he just raised his gaze and fixed the beanie on his head with his free hand.

“Nothing,” he mumbled, turning his head to look in your eyes. “Help me choose a shirt?”

You nodded eagerly. “Do you have something in mind?”

“Just something that looks cool,” he shrugged.

“Oh, we can match outfits,” you suggested, looking at his sweet brown eyes. “Or at least match in color of outfits.”

The shadow of a smile appeared on his face, keeping his eyes on you as you walked together on the vast mall. “Whatever you want, baby, just say it,” he replied with a tone of endearment.

“Nice,” you whispered, and he showed you a satisfied grin. “But first, you’re getting me that milk tea.”

His head tipped back, as a chuckle came out of his mouth. “Okay, princess. Let’s get you your tea.”

Jeonghan sighed impatiently, his eyes rolling back on his head. His hand, which was holding a hanger with a shirt changed sides, now showing you the other shirt, you selected.

“Mmn,” you hummed pensively, taking the straw into your mouth, sipping milk tea earnestly.

“They’re identical,” he whined, changing his hand once again.

“Trust me they’re not,” you retorted, pointing at the one on his right side. “This one is silky and shows your waist on the sides because it’s meshy,” you informed him, then switch to his left. “This one is denim and doesn’t accentuate your figure.”

“They’re both black,” he punctuated, sending you an annoyed look.

“That’s the only thing they have in common,” you countered, ignoring the cold look he was trying to give you. “Can you try them on?”

“Only if you come with me,” he muttered with a cheeky grin.

“Jeonghan, you know I can’t do that,” you said and as the words flew out of your mouth, you understood that he was not being completely serious.

“You could, but you don’t want to,” he smirked.

You rolled your eyes. “Try this one first,” you pointed to the silk shirt.

“Fine,” he muttered.

You waited outside of the changing room, sipping milk tea to completion until Jeonghan came out, his hair ruffled by the changing of clothes, a reason why he took his black beanie off. But he shyly lifted his arms, showing you the shirt on his body. You could get a glimpse of his skin on the sides of his torso through the mesh material.

“Get that one,” you said upon laying eyes on him.

“But you haven’t seen the other one,” he said, looking a little perplexed.

“I think this one is definitive,” you explained. “You never wear things like this. You’re always wearing baggy clothes lately. Not that I’m complaining, but this shirt is different. Looks good on you.”

Jeonghan pouted. “I like baggy clothes,” he mumbled. “They’re comfy.”

Your guts twisted with so much endearment that you were sure that it showed on your face. “I know, Jeongjeong,” you muttered, a cute giggle coming out of you.

Jeonghan looked down, pinching at the fabric on the neck of the shirt. “I like this one,” he said softly. “It’s shiny.”

“Mn, I don’t have anything to match it with,” you realized. “Maybe I could pick something too.”

“Please. I’d like to get out of here,” he sighed, unbuttoning the shirt with fast fingers. “And I much rather watch you try on things for me.”

Jeonghan stayed close to you as you browsed the long hallway of tall racks of clothes that displayed nice dresses, tops, and everything you would never wear on a regular basis. You had your fair share of party clothes. But what your fingers were sorting through would be a new look on you.

“I like that one,” he muttered, leaning his head to one side as you hovered a dress over your body, stretching the material over your frame to imagine what it would look like on you.

“I do too,” you hummed aloofly, looking at the tiny black silk dress. “Don’t you think it’s too showy?”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” he shrugged and sent you a dark look. “Or are you worried about what your boyfriend might think of it?”

Your tummy fluttered at the way his voice sounded, it was dark and raspy. He stood over you, thankfully flanked by the racks of clothes so you were both out of sight. “Maybe,” you replied, trying to sound unaffected. “Though he won’t be paying much attention to me tonight. You know he doesn’t want the media to notice me as his girlfriend.”

Jeonghan frowned slightly in question. “Are you okay with that?” he asked, his head was still leaning over one side, his eyes reading your face expertly.

“I’m think I’m okay with keeping our relationship private,” you sighed, putting the pretty dress back on the rack. “I don’t want Josh to be even more stressed about the media’s snooping on his life.”

“Mmn,” he hummed, nodding his head once. He looked at the dress, hanging abandoned on the rack. “Try it on.”

“No,” you replied shortly, turning to continue strolling down the hall.

You heard an annoyed sigh coming from the man, so you turned to look at him, reaching for the dress to hand it to you.

“Try it on,” he repeated, but this time firmly.

You rolled your eyes with equal annoyance. “Jeonghan, the dress is pretty, but it’s too expensive,” you sighed.

“I want to see how it looks on you.”

You raised your eyes to his face, preparing a rebellious retort but were cut off abruptly by the lady tending the store: “Can I help you, miss?”

You tore your eyes from his and looked at the woman, who gave you a polite smile. “Yeah, I would like to try this on,” you replied, returning the polite smile. You turned to the rack next to you and grabbed two more dresses. “And these too.”

Jeonghan grinned but making sure that you were the only witness to his small victory.

You followed the retail lady to the changing room, feeling Jeonghan looming on your back, you could almost feel his eyes on your frame as you made it to the hall of changing rooms, separated by walls and doors.

“You can wait here, sir,” the lady informed Jeonghan.

He stopped, but you could see the cunning in his eyes clearly, though it was something you thought only you could notice, since the lady just resumed with her work.

As you took a step towards one door, you felt the man move behind you. “Jeonghan,” you started.

“Fine,” he huffed, and leaned back against the wall of the hall, deciding to wait outside the door of the changing room you slipped in.

You giggled at his face when you closed the door. “You’re such a baby,” you said, taking the advantage that he could not take any retaliation at your teasing.

He did not respond verbally, but you could listen to his tongue clicking.

You quickly changed into one dress, purposefully choosing a different one and not the dress he wanted to see you try on. You opened the door, enjoying the way his face lit up when he saw you in the skintight leather dress.

“D’you like it?” you sighed, trying to hide that changing clothes that quickly made you ran out of breath. You slid your hands over your tummy, smoothing the faux leather over your skin.

“No, I don’t,” he replied, quickly telling on your intentions. But his eyes could not lie to you: they were glued to your body, shaped by the pretty dress. It accentuated every curve, though it was hard to move in it.

“Mmn, that’s too bad,” you purred, turning so that he could look at your exposed back, and your ass. “I reeeeally like this one.”

“Tsk,” he closed his eyes slowly, letting his smile show. “Try on the other one, the one that you actually liked.”

You smiled but turned around, closing the door behind you, and stripped off the black dress. The bite of the chilly air made your nipples harden, and you sucked in a breath through your teeth and hurried to put the other dress on.

Jeonghan raised his gaze from the screen of his phone to see you, his facial features changing in a second. He pocketed his phone, now focusing on you fully.

You leaned a shoulder against the doorframe, enjoying his gaze on you. “What do you think?” you asked in a sugared tone. Looking down, you smoothed the silk on you, bringing the tips of your fingers to your chest. “I should probably get boob tape if I get this one.”

“Bo-boob tape?” he asked, raising his eyes to see your face.

“Yeah, to cover up,” you smiled cheekily, swirling the tips of your fingers around your pebbled nipples. “I don’t want to be flashing everyone on Josh’s party.”

You expected the man to laugh, or to smile. But no, his gaze remained trained on you, on your fingers tracing circles around your nipples. He gulped hard and cleared his throat.

“What, you don’t like it?” you asked innocently, twirling on your feet so he could see how the skirt of the dress sat on your ass.

Jeonghan had gone deadly silent, and you did not like that. It meant that his brain was occupied scheming a plan, you stopped showing him the dress, and saw that his gaze had darkened.

“Maybe I should just try the other one on,” you said, adding a gasp to appear resigned. “And if you don’t like it, then maybe I should just wear one of my old dresses,” you pouted, very evidently knowing that your attitude would press his buttons.

“Yeah, you do that,” he muttered, but he was not playing your game, no.

And that was worrying.

“Maybe you could come in, and watch me?” you muttered, knowing that he would be able to hear you despite the music playing on the speakers of the store.

Jeonghan shook his head no but sent his dark eyes to survey at the surroundings. “Get inside,” he nodded at you sharply.

You took it as, stop playing with me. So you just went back inside, with a rejected look on your face that he definitely got to see right before you closed the door and started removing the pretty dress off your body.

Suddenly, you heard a soft click and through the mirror, Jeonghan was entering the changing room, closing the door with one hand beside him.

“Jeong–,” you started, but he brought a finger to his lips, motioning you to be quiet.

You had instinctively brought the shirt closer to your chest, covering your naked breasts. Warmth crept onto your cheeks, realizing that he could see the back of your body through the reflection on the mirror.

“Be quiet,” he cautioned, grabbing the dress from your hands and tossed it on the stool. A hand came to cup your jaw, commanding your eyes to his. “You're going to do as I say.”

Your heart had started beating rapidly in your chest, you could feel your own pulse in your neck. But you nodded, intrigued as to how far he would go.

“I didn't think you'd come,” you breathed, taking a step back as he approached you, pinning you to the wall.

“That's because you're used to your boyfriend,” the ghost of a smirk appeared on his face. “He's all bark, no bite.”

Your breath hitched, forcing yourself to close your mouth. Jeonghan enjoyed your reaction, that much you could see from the way his eyes, darkened by lust, outlined your face. He stopped cupping your jaw, his hand delicately traveling down, a finger tracing an invisible line on one of your breasts, finding your nipple to pinch it with his pointer finger and thumb.

You looked from his fingers teasing your nipple to his face. Jeonghan trapped his lower lip with his teeth, catching your gaze on him, the corners of his lips curved in a smile.

“You like teasing me,” he whispered, his hand continued traveling down, tracing a line on the center of your tummy. “I guess I should return the gesture.”

“Hannie,” you squirmed when his fingertip stopped at the band of your panties, you pressed your back against the wall.

“What?” he muttered, his voice raising to a lower one.

You sent him an alarmed look, but his face remained impassive, his dark eyes on you.

“Shh,” he pressed his body against yours, effectively pinning you tightly against the wall. He leaned his forehead against yours, nose nudging against yours, wordlessly telling you to raise your head for him to find your lips.

His lips grazed yours, inviting at first, but pulling back when you tried to inch closer to his mouth. He showed you a grin, and you could almost hear him say, “Eager, are we?”

His finger slipped beneath the band of your panties, his eyes widening with awe when he found out how wet you got just by teasing him. His lips pressed a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth when you squirmed against him, trying to get his fingers on you to satisfy the need you felt for him.

“Please,” you hissed.

“There are your manners,” he whispered, you felt him smiling in your mouth, his finger dipped inside your core, pumping in and out slowly.

But the feeling of being exposed, hearing the movement and commotion outside the changing room made your body come alive with excitement and arousal.

You sent him a pleading look, breathing out a tiny moan when he introduced another finger inside you. Your hand snapped to palm the tent in his pants, trying to get his zipper down.

The following movements happened fast. He pulled his fingers out of you, grabbing your panties and pulling them aside. You instinctively pushed your hips forward to him, angling yourself as you pulled his hardened cock out of his pants.

You noticed his other hand fishing out something from his pocket, pulling out his phone, opening his camera and pressing the record button.

“Hold this,” he whispered, handing the phone to you. His hand grabbed your leg to wrap it around his hip, just as you guided his cock to your throbbing pussy, letting him sheathe himself in one go.

You let out an airy moan, Jeonghan's free hand clamping your mouth shut as he started thrusting tortuously slow, making you feel every inch of his pretty cock inside you, stuffing you full.

You saw yourself through the video feed of the phone, you were nearly naked, a fucked-out look in your eyes as Jeonghan dipped his head to kiss your neck. Your eyes widened as he started sucking a lovebite on the curve of your neck, making your skin tingle when he detached his lips, breathing on the marked area.

“Fuck,” you heard him breathe.

The noises outside, though unrelenting, made your pulse quicken, anxious butterflies swarming inside your tummy. A world happening outside while you were in a changing room, being fucked against a wall by your lover.

You sent him a warning look, the squelching noises of your pussy becoming increasingly prominent.

“I know,” he nodded, smirking at you. “You're being so good, princess,” he breathed. “Such a good girl for me.”

His hand slid down from your mouth, but found the curve of your neck, pressing his forehead against yours. You closed your eyes, letting the world be drowned out by the sweet sound of his breathing.

“Fuck princess,” he whispered on your mouth. “You drive me crazy,” he said, his thrusts becoming more demanding, pushing against you rapidly.

“Hannie,” you said, beginning to shake, but you kept the phone up, camera angled to your bodies. “Come inside me,” you whispered. “Please?”

“Not yet,” he whispered, a taunting smile playing on his lips. “You're gonna come first.”

“I can't,” you refused, shaking your head lightly.

Jeonghan locked eyes with you, before scanning your face, your blazing hot cheeks, your lips glossy with his spit. “Yes, you can,” he countered, spotting your lie effortlessly.

“I don't wanna get caught,” you said, but aimlessly, since the squelching noises resounding inside the small changing room became even more louder to your ears.

“Where's the fun in that,” he retorted, a smirk showing on his beautiful lips.

“Hannie,” you tried to chastise him.

“Princess,” his smile widened, shooting a wave of arousal through you. He fucks you with a smile on his face. You stifled a moan, but the throbbing in your walls was impossible to control.

His thrusts slowed down, you saw his Adam's apple bob and his eyelids fluttered close. You knew instantly, it was taking him everything in him to not give in to his full impulse to just fuck you to his heart's content.

You saw your retaliation.

Your hand stopped clutching at the shoulder of his jacket, sliding it down his abdomen, reaching the area where your bodies connected. His eyes shot open in realization when your fingers began toying with your clit.

“Baby,” he whispered, though his voice sounded shaky, making his warning wane.

Your mouth parted, letting out a silent gasp. You saw his eyes following the movements of your fingers briefly, the way you worked on yourself to get to your orgasm faster. He raised his head, getting a glimpse of your facial features going slack in sweet pleasure. Your eyebrows knitted, and his did too, mimicking you automatically.

His thrust changed speed, becoming more demanding as your walls clenched around him. “Fuck,” he gritted.

Laughter boomed around you from a group of girls chattering inside the store. Jeonghan's grip on your thigh tightened harshly. You saw fascination cross the features of his face, he clearly enjoyed this: being exposed, having you at his mercy in a public space.

And to be honest, you understood why.

It was exciting.

It was easy to let yourself be swept away by the pleasure overtaking the features of his face. That just made it easier to sink into the waves of pleasure coursing inside your body, making your pussy wet. The sounds it made every time Jeonghan pushed his pretty cock in and out of your throbbing walls.

The tension inside you snapped. You threw your head back, succumbing to the sweet pleasure rippling through you. You sunk your teeth on your lower lip, commanding yourself to keep the phone up. You angled the camera so that it clearly captured you and Jeonghan, the way he pushed your body against the wall with this thrusts.

He kept his eyes trained on you all the time, as if he did not want to lose a second of you coming silently, shaking between him and the wall he was fucking you into. But his eyes went lazy, his breath ragged, his body weakened against you and that is how you knew he was coming with you.

Shaking, he drowned his grunts by crushing his mouth on yours, pushing his hips against you sloppily, emptying himself inside your walls to the last drop.

You stopped recording, slipping his phone back inside the pocket of his black jacket.

He dropped his forehead against yours. “You play dirty,” he rasped, still breathing raggedly.

“You almost had me in the beginning,” you muttered with a cheeky smile.

“Fuck you,” he chuckled airily.

You chuckled too, a retort sitting on the tip of your tongue.

A loud and repeated knock came to the door, startling you and Jeonghan with a jolt from you both. “Is everything alright, do you need help, miss?” the voice from the lady came from the other side, sounding completely unbeknownst to the situation inside the changing room.

“Oh, shit, you scared me,” you replied, bringing your best acting voice you could muster, though the reality of the situation helped. “Maybe I'll try the dress in red too, please?”

Jeonghan smiled deviously, shaking his head ever so slightly but did not make a sound.

“Coming up,” the reply came, and you were so still that you heard her walk away.

“You, miss, are learning fast at coming up with lies,” Jeonghan observed, pulling away from you, though begrudgingly. He tucked himself swiftly, watching your fingers fix your panties back in place.

“I have the best instructor,” you quipped, showing him a grin through your tiredness.

A weird look shot across his face; his heavy-lidded eyes scanned you. “Mn,” he hummed briefly.

“Here it is, miss,” the lady handed the dress in red over the door.

“Thank you,” you said as Jeonghan grabbed the dress from the lady's hand and passed it to you.

“No problem!” she said, still ignorant to the man standing at the other side of the door.

Jeonghan saw his opportunity, creaking the door open. “Gotta run,” he muttered.

But he was surprised when you quickly grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him to your lips with a quick kiss. “I'll be there. Go,” you whispered.

He returned the feathery kiss, though in his eyes you saw something you could not quite place. “Hurry up,” he whispered. “I'll buy you anything you want, let's just get the fuck out of here.”

And with that, Jeonghan slipped out of the changing room, leaving you with a deep desire for something that sex would not satiate. But you still weren't sure exactly what that desire was. Or rather, how you wanted to satiate it.

“Well?”

His sweet brown eyes looked at your face. He nodded. “You look beautiful.”

You laughed. “The dress, Hannie. How does it look?”

You stood in the living room, a pair of high heels hanging on your fingers. Jeonghan effectively, bought everything that you so much showed an interest in at the stores you visited with him. So now you had a new pair of shoes, a new handbag, and a new dress.

“Spectacular,” he smiled softly, rising from the couch, and stood before you.

Jeonghan looked good in everything he wore. But he looked ridiculously good whenever he was dressed in all black. From head to toe, his boots, the tight denim jeans, the shirt you picked, and the jacket he wore were all black. And on top of that, he had lost the beanie, so his lush black hair was partly humid from the recent shower.

“You look good,” you said, finding yourself hoarse for some reason.

“You think so, princess?” he smirked softly, placing a finger beneath your chin, the pad of his thumb brushing your lower lip ever so slightly.

“Yeah,” you whispered, closing your eyes when his lips pressed a kiss on your upper, to then capture the lower and kiss you deeply.

A hand slipped on your lower back, bringing you closer to his frame. You gasped in his mouth, and he responded with a groan when you pressed your chest to his.

“Let’s get out of here before I lose my fucking mind,” Jeonghan muttered, letting out an airy chuckle. “C’mon.”

You and Jeonghan arrived at a club, one that you had never been before, granted. But Jeonghan did, apparently, taking your hand and lacing his fingers with yours as he led you through a crowd of people, all the way to the front door, where he exchanged a couple of words with the bouncer, who let him and you in right after.

The club was what you had expected. Dark, hot, packed with people and loud. But instead of just going right in, Jeonghan kept walking, crossing the place and to a more secluded area. There, a pair of dark elevator doors stood, and he pushed the button with his lithe fingers.

He shot you a brief look, and you knew that there was something heavy in his mind. You nodded your chin at him, prompting him but he just shook his head no, pulling you to the elevator when the doors parted.

But he seemed to be getting ready for something, he sent his gaze to the ceiling, sucking in a breath through his teeth.

“Are you really sure you’re okay with Joshua keeping your relationship a secret?” he finally asked when you were both standing in front of the doors, the reflection showing him beside you.

He looked dark. And strangely alluring.

“Yeah,” you nodded, turning your head to look at him. You had gained some inches, thanks to your high heels.

But the man still towered over you. “Okay,” he whispered, content with the certainty he saw in you. “Though tonight, I don’t think we will be surrounded by a lot of press people. That was mostly in his conference from earlier.”

You paid attention to him. “Still, I don’t think I can… go to him as his girlfriend, you know?” you cocked your head to one side. “There will be a lot of people, from what I gather.”

Jeonghan shrugged lightly. “You could,” he countered with ease. “Once everyone is on alcohol and other substances, no one will care. And even if they noticed, they would most like take it as him kissing his best friend’s girl.”

You were not sure if you were completely okay with how he phrased it. And it was not his words that upset you entirely, it was also that he was playing a part in all of this.

“You don’t like this, do you?” you realized.

“I don’t like that he’s using me to keep you in the dark.”

Your instinct was to say no. Joshua would not do that to his best friend. But you bit your tongue, instantly deflated by the thought of Joshua agreeing to the polyamorous relationship to keep you happy. And a secret from the media and his fans.

“Well, then maybe we have to trust him, like you said,” you finalized.

Jeonghan stilled. “Yeah, you’re right,” he muttered.

“Let’s enjoy tonight?” you offered sweetly, turning so that you were facing him. “Let’s be there for Josh.”

His gaze softened, convinced by your request. “Okay,” he said, using the proximity between you to plant a kiss on your forehead.

The doors of the elevator parted, loud, revealing a place just as packed, rock music poured into your ears. But evidently this part of the club was private. It even looked poshed, compared to the dark interior from before. This one was colorful, though lit in red neon lights on the walls, and blue beams shooting across the space.

Jeonghan tugged your hand, pulling you even closer to his body as you both entered the place, and dived into the crowd. You noticed that he had an intent of crossing through the small sea of people and knew where Joshua would be found.

The first thing you noticed about your boyfriend upon laying eyes on him was that he had changed his hair. It was still brown, but not the golden brown that shines almost to a blond tone when he stands under the sunlight. This was a chocolate brown, the shade so dark it could pass as black in the dark interior of the club.

Like Jeonghan, he was dressed in concert black. Black suit, black tie. The only things that were not as dark were the chains adorning the flaps of his jacket. You knew it was not his decision to wear this, nor the way his hair was styled so that there was a single strand of hair hanging on his forehead, the rest pushed back.

Another thing of note was the hazy look in his eyes.

He was drunk. Surrounded by people and by the looks of it, he was having enjoying himself. He was talking to some people, none of whom you recognized.

Your grip on Jeonghan’s hand tightened. This was the first time that you saw him at his job since his band’s skyrocketing towards nation-wide fame. From meeting him as the lead singer of a local band, to now being one of the most popular singers in the rock music scene.

And without question, Joshua fit into what a rockstar would look and act like.

You watched as he stood back, side hugging the person he was talking to and someone raised a camera and snapped a series of photographs, the bright flashes illuminating his gorgeous face. The way he posed, looking directly at the camera with a neutral expression on his face, only added to the dark mood with which he was holding himself.

But that was swiftly changed when his beautiful eyes fell on you. His mouth parted slightly, and his eyes changed from what neutrality he was commanding himself with, a glimmer appeared in them.

Jeonghan returned the tight squeeze in your hand, as if telling you to get ready.

You saw Joshua tearing his eyes from you to face his best friend, to whom he greeted with a warm hug, using it too as an opportunity to look over his shoulder to look at your face again.

Your mind reeled over and over again as to how you were going to play this. But you just pressed your lips together in a tight smile, waving at him eagerly with your free hand.

You saw it on his face that he was not content with your short and distant greeting, so he made a move towards you, but was quickly blocked by someone coming up to him to ask for a photograph. Joshua stopped abruptly, removing his eyes from you, and accepted to take the photo, though reluctantly.

“Do you want a drink?” Jeonghan asked, leaning towards you to speak in your ear.

You nodded, being pulled away from the crowd surrounding Midnight Haze. As you left to go to the bar with Jeonghan, you could feel your boyfriend’s eyes on the back of your head.

“Can’t get drunk tonight,” you said, or practically shouted over the loud music to Jeonghan.

“Live a little, princess,” Jeonghan shouted back, pointing at a bottle of tequila sitting at top of the shelves of expensive bottles and signaled a two towards the bartender. “Besides, I wouldn’t blame you if you get drunk, you need to let loose.”

You looked over your shoulder, effortlessly spotting your boyfriend in the middle of the crowd, still chatting up to the people who came to him asking for autographs and photos. He swiftly sent a glance over to the bar, as if he had felt your eyes on him too.

“Yeah, got a point,” you said to Jeonghan, turning over to him and raised your shot glass at the same time he did.

“I’ll take care of you,” he said, making you giggle.

“Oh no, that’s scary,” you recalled the drunken nights with Jeonghan, when he was still someone you considered just a friend.

“Ah, come on, trust me,” he clinked your glass with his own, motioning over to you to link arms with him, and you did, pouring the shot of tequila down your throat at the same time as him.

He made a ridiculous face, and you laughed at him harder. “Cute,” you pointed. “You can’t drink tequila, and it shows.”

“Oh, it’s on,” he arched one eyebrow, turning to the bartender and ordered two more shots.

“This is how you get wasted,” but you raised the shot glass at him anyway, linking arms again to drink with him.

“I know,” he chuckled, wiping a drop of tequila from the corner of his mouth with the pad of his thumb. “But, since you’re the expert in tequila, I want to test you.”

“Shut up,” you said, pushing his shoulder playfully.

Jeonghan leaned over the counter, asking for something that you could not hear. He would soon get two slices of lime served in a nice ramekin. And two more shots.

“Wait,” you exclaimed, but he had a devious grin on his face.

“Nuh-uh, princess. Drink,” he challenged.

You rolled your eyes, but quickly took on his challenge. You did not wait for him this time, downing the shot of tequila straight away, setting the glass on the counter. “Your turn,” you said pointedly.

Jeonghan looked at you with a glint in his eye, a smile creeping on his face slowly when you placed the slice of lime between your teeth, waiting for him. He took the shot glass to his mouth, tipping his head back and you saw his throat bobbing as he swallowed. Setting the glass aside, he brought a hand to cup your cheek, leaning towards you to capture the slice of lime from your mouth.

His lips brushed yours, making your body come alight, he sucked on the lime once, discarding it to dive in for a kiss, and that he did slowly at first, delicately. You tasted the lime in his lips. You felt drunk already, but you knew that the intoxication was not from the alcohol alone.

You felt a new wave of arousal rushing inside your body, you held his face with your hands, letting him kiss you deeper, more demanding.

“Stop,” you brought a hand to his chest, feeling his breath fanning over your face.

He leaned his forehead on yours. “Sorry,” he exhaled softly. “I got carried away.”

“Me too,” you confessed with a small giggle. “Let’s stop drinking before we get reckless.”

Jeonghan laughed at that, the sound sending a powerful shiver down your spine. “Oh, baby, I think it’s too late for that,” he said, a pleased look on his face. “Come on. This thing is starting soon.”

“Oh, what is?” you asked dumbly. Following him back to where you saw Joshua.

The music suddenly came to a stop, the sound of a microphone being plugged in boomed through the speakers. Making you look across the room to find Midnight Haze standing on a small stage, the microphone was passed to Jihoon, who looked at it for a second and passed it to Joshua.

Midnight Haze’s lead singer took the microphone and brought it to his face, camera flashes lit up his face, making him blink repeatedly. “Hello, ladies and gentlemen, we’re Midnight Haze and we’re here to present our first studio album,” he explained expertly, a grin appearing on his face as he enunciated the following words: “And here to explain more about the album, we have Lee Jihoon, the drummer, producer, and leader of this band,” he returned the microphone to Jihoon, who smiled with a mixture of shyness and awkwardness.

Jihoon started to give out a speech that consisted of him just explaining where you could stream the album and when, followed by a short word of gratitude. When he finished, he passed the microphone back to Joshua, who just gave it up to Vernon.

Laughter resounded around the room from all the party attendants.

“Thank you for coming,” he said briefly and returned the microphone to Joshua.

“Thank you,” he concluded.

And Midnight Haze started sounding on the speakers. You recognized the song from the first second because of how often you heard Joshua rehearsing it on his guitar or singing it aloofly all over the apartment. The song was catchy, the guitar riff alluring, aptly named Euphoria, the lyrics were enticing, and about you.

You felt Jeonghan’s fingers slipping on your wrist before he laced his hand with yours, taking you with him through the sea of people. You felt eager to see Joshua again, to be able to have a moment with him.

But you knew that you would have to wait for some time before that happened. Joshua was still busy talking to fans, and friends, and all the people who would come up to him and strike small conversation. Some would ask for photographs, others for autographs, most people both.

It felt nice to see him accomplish one of his dreams, though you could not deny that it felt slightly heart crushing to be watching from the distance.

So, you had to look for an opportunity. You turned to Jeonghan. “Cover me?” you asked him. He frowned at first, but leaned over so you could explain further. “I want to talk with Josh.”

Jeonghan nodded, wasting no time he just grabbed your hand catching Joshua’s gaze as he pulled you away from the crowd, leading you down a corridor that ended in an emergency exit. That apparently did the trick, since Jeonghan and Joshua had somehow formed a wordless language between them.

Because your boyfriend had followed you. A minute after you had slipped down the lonely and dimly lit corridor, Joshua appeared, nodding at his best friend in something akin to gratitude.

“Be quick,” Jeonghan warned. “And don’t be sloppy,” he added, sending you a meaningful look before walking away.

But Joshua did not reply, instead, he was instantly wrapping you in a hug as though he had missed you. He lifted you from the floor in his strong arms for a second, returning you so that he could cup your face in his hands.

“You look beautiful,” was the first thing he said to you, right before capturing your lips in a hurried kiss. You tasted whisky in his mouth, when his tongue outlined your lower lip and touched yours.

“Thank you, baby,” you replied, sensing the alcohol start to numb your senses.

“Let me see you,” he requested, stepping back so that he could see the pretty dress Jeonghan bought for you. But his eyes swivelled back up to see your face, but inevitably spotting the red mark sitting on the crook of your neck.

Your stomach dropped, and you brought a hand to brush your hair, covering the spot that Jeonghan marked.

But your boyfriend was quicker, he sent a look at his sides and back before carrying out his plan.

He pushed your back against the wall, the shadow of a smile appearing on his face when a soft gasp left your mouth. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice?” he muttered darkly in your ear, his voice sounded hoarse.

You pushed your body away from the cold wall, your front brushing with his. You were squirming, trying to get him to back away and let you calm your nerves.

But no, his eyes read the features of your face. “You like this,” he realized, the corners of his lips rising slightly. “Oh, you cruel thing. Do you like to get me jealous?”

You nodded with your head, smiling at him when you could not take the heaviness of his darkened gaze on you.

“Is it fun to kiss Hannie while knowing I’ll be watching, baby?” he purred, moving his mouth to press a soft kiss below your earlobe. “Do you like to know it turns me on?”

“Joshua,” you mewled out when his lips reached a particular sensitive spot on your neck, where Jeonghan had left a noticeably big hickey. Then it dawned on you.

“Answer me,” he muttered, his large hands gripping your waist tighter.

Granted, you did have a recollection of Joshua saying he liked seeing you with Jeonghan. You also remembered the times you saw him pleasure himself to the view of you being fucked by Jeonghan. But to hear him say it, flat out, made a hot wave of arousal course through you.

You nodded, closing your eyes, and letting out an embarrassingly loud moan when his mouth placed an open kiss on the sensitive spot, making you squirm a little more.

“Fuck, baby,” he sighed. “You sound so sweet,” he mumbled languidly, and you could tell just from the sound of his voice, sweet and moany, he was aroused too.

“Joshua,” you called, and he moved his face to capture your lips with his own, swallowing your moans when he rolled his tongue inside your mouth. “We need to stop,” you said, pulling your head back.

“Right,” he frowned. “Shit, you’re right,” he realized, as if he had forgotten for a split second that you were not completely alone.

He peeled his body off yours, straightening his jacket and fixing his hair. That made him look to one side, his features hardening at once.

A tall man, of dark hair and similar attire to your boyfriend’s was walking from the fire exit to you and Joshua. He did not seem impressed with your very public display of affection since he very evidently did not know you.

“Hey man,” Joshua greeted amicably. “Enjoying the party?”

“Yeah, though not as much as you,” he replied with a slurry tone, his lazy eyes swiftly looking at you and then back at your boyfriend. “The album is a hit, dude, a number one.”

Joshua smiled, letting his guard down for a second. “Thanks, Tae,” he said, nodding when the man patted his back, continuing to walk back to where the party was.

“We should get back,” you told him.

“Yeah,” he agreed, but he leaned over to get a swift, featherlight kiss from you. “I want to get out of here already.”

You giggled. “Just a couple of hours then we can leave,” you told him.

“One hour,” he said, glancing at his watch. “And we get out of here, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you replied and begun heading back to Jeonghan, but not before Joshua slapped your ass.

You yelped, sending him a look. Joshua masked his grin by biting his lower lip but could not resist when you just rolled your eyes at him and smiled broader at you.

You quickly found Jeonghan, whose eyes quickly read your face, your entire demeanor and smiled.

“I suppose it went well?” he teased, leaning over to press a kiss on the side of your head as he slid a hand on the small of your back.

“Shut up,” you muttered, but he obviously did not hear you.

“Baby, I’d like you to meet, Taehyung,” he said, showing you to the person he was clearly having a conversation with moments before you arrived, though you were too distracted to notice.

Taehyung had a question written all over his face, but he still nodded at you. “Nice to meet you,” he smiled charmingly at you.

You sent Jeonghan a look before returning the polite nod. “Nice to meet you too,” you said.

The man cocked his head, the confusion in his face clearer now, the lines between his eyebrows showing when he frowned.

“Taehyung is the singer of Green Nocturne,” Jeonghan interjected, noting that the exchange between you and the man was growing more awkward by the second.

Whatever Jeonghan might have seen in your face, it told him everything he needed to know. So his distraction worked, your mouth fell open in both surprise and embarrassment.

“Oh, really?!” you squealed, blaming the alcohol for sounding so high-pitched. “Oh my god! This is so cool. Forgive me, but I am the biggest fan of your music,” you giggled uncontrollably.

Taehyung dropped the confusion from his face at once upon hearing your drunken giggles. “Thank you,” he replied, almost as shy as you were now.

“Let me tell you, I was one of the many people that never believed you were a one-man band,” you blurted, feeling hot on the cheeks, and forgetting the awkward exchange completely. “But I think that it’s so cool that you do nearly everything…”

You were swiftly submerged in conversation with Taehyung, who also seemed to be wrapped in your crazy stammering and excited descriptions of how much you loved his music. So you never realized when Jeonghan slipped from the conversation, and away from you and your new friend.

Jeonghan tried to turn the lighter on, spinning the wheel once, twice, until he got to the third and the flame came up. He brought it close to the end of the cigarette, hearing the paper burn, igniting the end with a long draw.

The cold air brushed his cheeks, cooling his lips as he exhaled the smoke, his eyes lost on the vast city below him. He leaned forward, leaning his elbows on the banister of the balcony, ignoring the loud music inside the party.

He took another drag from the cigarette he stole, it seemed funny to him that he still had some of the gimmicks when he used to smoke tobacco. He narrowed his eyes, one closed more than the other, parting his lips slightly to let the ghost of the smoke slip, to then draw it back in, an exhale it through his nose.

“I thought you had quit smoking that.”

Jeonghan clicked his tongue. “Can't get a moment by myself,” he tutted, not needing to turn to know who was behind him on the balcony, closing the sliding door to the party.

“In fairness, I came here to have a moment alone,” Joshua admitted, leaning so that he matched Jeonghan's position to perfection, all to the exception of the cigarette resting in between Jeonghan's lithe fingers.

“Why?” Jeonghan asked in a low, raspy tone, which he corrected with a cough.

Joshua shrugged beside him, licking his lips and drew in a breath through his teeth. “I used to think that I was just tired of touring, but now I realize that I'm overwhelmed,” he shook his head slightly.

“I thought you wanted this,” Jeonghan commented, frowning to his best friend.

By this, he referred to touring. Making music, the fame, the acclamation, the money.

He shook his head once again, but now firmly. “It's consuming,” he whispered, raising his gaze skyward.

“Welcome to the life,” Jeonghan said with a nod. “Success isn't easy.”

“I want to stay,” Joshua confessed, twiddling his fingers slowly, but in an anxious way.

Jeonghan did not need Joshua to explain more. He knew why he wanted to stay. He took another deep drag from the cigarette, exhaling the smoke into the night sky.

“Where did you get that though?” Joshua read his friend's face expertly, knowing that it had been a while since Jeonghan smoked his last cigarette. And this was a brand he would never buy from.

“Taehyung's pocket.”

“Jeonghan,” he exhaled in resignation and Jeonghan chuckled at his reaction. “Please don't steal from my friends. And stop smoking.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes and made no comment.

“What's wrong with you?” Joshua asked.

“Nothing,” he muttered, feeling his brain swim under the effects of the nicotine, and alcohol. He should not have mix alcohol and nicotine. “Why are you doing this, Joshua?”

“Doing what?” he asked softly, pausing to look at his friend.

“This, with Bunny. Agreeing to a poly,” Jeonghan exhaled, the anxiousness constricting his heart. Damn the nicotine.

Joshua looked at him agape for a second. He had not expected the blunt question, but he supposed that a moment such as this was merited. The doe eyes returned to map the city skyline, searching for an answer.

“I want this,” he shrugged uneasily.

“Tsk,” Jeonghan exhaled. “Ay, don't tell me this is out of the goodness of your heart, Shuji. I know you. You could've swept this under the rug, continue a monogamous relationship with Bunny. Why drag me into this again?”

“Because you also want this,” Joshua retorted, expecting his best friend to laugh. But not even a smile appeared on the crestfallen man. Joshua exhaled too, but out of shame he still felt about the topic of conversation. “I hurt you both.”

“But this is damned to fail if you just want to make everyone happy,” Jeonghan darted a look at the man beside him. “Just because you regret hurting her and giving me the middle finger doesn't mean that we can be all in a poly now.”

Joshua winced, and he could see it in the face of the man, his words offended him. “I want this,” he emphasized with a pained look. “I want this to work for all three of us.”

“Why?” Jeonghan pressed now, raising his gaze to meet the dark doe eyes.

“I don't know,” he whispered, but Jeonghan could tell when his best friend lied. It was the tone in his voice, the bristling look in his eyes when he could not continue with the eye contact. “I want to see how this works out.”

“So, you're... experimenting?” Jeonghan frowned. “Exploring? What happens if you decide you don't like it?”

“But I do,” both men met gazes again. “I do like it. I just don't know why.”

“From being the most jealous person I know, you switched to sharing your partner with me,” Jeonghan clicked his tongue, taking the cigarette between his lips. “It's just confusing to me.”

“It's confusing to me too,” he replied tiredly, as though he had repeated that same statement many times before.

Jeonghan twisted the cigarette bud in his fingers, deep in thought.

“You know I never apologized, at least not sincerely,” Jeonghan muttered, watching the cigarette consume itself between his fingers. He raised his head, looking at the stars. “I'm sorry for what I did, for not telling you how I felt about her sooner.”

Joshua nodded, his eyes lingering on the face of his best friend. “You didn't need to tell me, Jeonghan,” he commented. “I knew it the moment you bought her tickets to come see me in the opening show.”

Jeonghan huffed, a guilty smile showing on his face. “You're lying,” his eyes beamed in a mixture of shame and joy. “I can be nice sometimes.”

Joshua shook his head, a smile curving his lips too. “No, you can be nice, but this just told me that you wanted to keep her far away from you.”

“Tsk,” Jeonghan exhaled sharply. “Am I that transparent?”

“Just to me.”

The moment slowed down when both men stared at the city lights in the night, both deep in thought, but at the same time, sharing the same feeling.

“I want her to be happy,” Joshua repeated, his heartbeat stammering under the feeling of being vulnerable.

“I want that too,” Jeonghan conceded with a softness lacing his tone. “But that's not all there is, right? You need to know what you're facing, Shuji. If you agree to this, you're agreeing to me dating her fully. Not just having sex.”

“I know, I know,” he rolled his eyes. “I will try not to be jealous.”

“Have you heard of going to therapy?” Jeonghan quipped, receiving a slap on his shoulder, eliciting a low chuckle from him. “I've heard it does wonders.”

“Shut up,” Joshua exhaled, but there was a smile on his face too. “I'm not as jealous as I used to be.”

“I know,” Jeonghan agreed with a nod of his head. “Do you accept my apology?”

Joshua snorted. “You don't need to apologize,” he said. “But I'll take it.”

“Nice,” Jeonghan exhaled, palming the banister once and stood up straight, readying the cigarette bud on his fingers to discard it.

“Don't,” Joshua cautioned, clearly understanding the intentions of his friend.

Jeonghan flicked the cigarette bud from his fingers, tossing it into the void.

“Ah, you little shit,” Joshua huffed, shaking his head in disapproval.

“Go get it if you care that much, altar boy,” Jeonghan nodded his head to the city below them, letting out a characteristic low chuckle.

“Fuck off,” Joshua laughed, slapping Jeonghan's shoulder.

But he was quicker, returning a slap on the back of Joshua's head that resounded with a smacking noise. “Gotcha,” his giggles became high pitched.

Joshua grabbed the man by the back of the neck, quickly wrapping his arms in a headlock, enjoying the way Jeonghan struggled, laughing, and grunting as he tried to set himself free.

“Let me go, you idiot,” Jeonghan laughed, groans escaping his mouth as he tried to slip off the bigger man's grip.

“Stop being a pain in my ass,” Joshua retorted.

Both men stopped in dead in their fight when you slid the door open, a perplexed look on your face as you stepped out and into the balcony.

“H-help,” Jeonghan rasped, arms flailing at his side. “Help me baby, he's gone insane—gah!” got cut off by the man keeping him still in a head locked.

“What's going on?” you asked carefully, wide eyed.

“Nothing, baby,” Joshua exhaled with a pleased smile on his face. “Me and Jeonghannie are just having a heart-to-heart, right?”

A set of fingers poked at his ribs sharply. Jeonghan nodded rapidly, stifling a laugh. “Ah—fuck, it tickles, stop!”

Joshua released him with a breathy laugh, straightening his denim shirt he looked at you, still standing frozen by the door. “What's up, baby?”

“I was wondering where you two had gone,” you shrugged, reading them both with great curiosity.

“I wanted some fresh air, turns out he was having a smoke,” Joshua stifled a giggle when his friend shot him a cold look.

“Ah, you–,”

“Jeonghan, please stop smoking,” you chastised, and the man clicked his tongue and groaned when you crossed your arms.

“I wasn't smoking, baby, I promise,” he raised the palms of his hands to you in a gesture of innocence.

But you could tell he was lying, his widened eyes, the way he tried to hold a rein to the muscles of his face, fighting his smile. You rolled your eyes.

“Let's go home?” Joshua asked, taking a glance at his watch.

“Sure,” you mumbled sweetly, reaching out to grab Jeonghan's hand, slipping your fingers beneath his palm. “Let's go.”

“Me too?” he asked, sending a look to your boyfriend.

“Well, yeah, obviously, you dummy. We arrived together, we leave together,” you punctuated with a confident smile.

“But-,”

“Come on, the car is already waiting for us,” Joshua muttered, looking at his phone.

Jeonghan grabbed your hand, slipping his fingers between yours. He pulled you back to the party, where your boyfriend stopped to say goodbye to his friends as you waved at them exiting the large and heavily crowded room.

All three of you stepped in the elevator, facing the reflection showing on the closed doors. Joshua stood on your left side, casually placing a hand on your lower back as he scrolled on his phone. Jeonghan stood on your right side, still locking hands with you.

He noticed you looking at the reflection and held your gaze as he leaned down and planted a soft kiss on your head. “What are you thinking about, princess?”

“I had fun tonight,” you said, looking at both men flanking you. Joshua pocketed his phone when he heard you, turned to see you, and then at the reflection.

“Did you like Joshua's friends?” he asked in that sweet tone that sent butterflies through your body.

“I did, they're nice,” you nodded, turning to your boyfriend. “I'd like to meet them again.”

“Maybe we can arrange something,” he muttered. “When I come back.”

You nodded with your head ever so slightly, giving him a chance to press a soft kiss on the crown of your head.

You hissed loudly as you slid on the backseat of the car, rubbing your hands together before blowing on them to bring some warmth to your face.

Joshua laughed softly. “Let me,” he said, capturing your hands in his, pulling them away from your face. He wrapped them in his large and warm hands, rubbing them together, rapidly warming them up.

“I liked your dress,” your boyfriend muttered, his lips caressing the back of your hand. He pushed his eyebrows up, looking at you. “Is it new?”

“Hannie got it for me,” you muttered sheepishly, just as the man slid a hand on your bare thigh, sending a cold shiver down your spine.

“Did you thank him for that baby?” Joshua muttered, kissing your knuckles tenderly, slowly.

“I did,” you nodded, looking at his pouted lips pressing on your knuckle.

“Mn, that reminds me,” Jeonghan muttered beside you, looking at the screen of his phone. “Check your phone, Shuji.”

Your stomach twisted; anticipation flashed through your body. You instantly knew what this was about, just as your boyfriend pulled his phone out of the pocket of his black jacket.

“On silent preferably, or else this ride will get more awkward,” Jeonghan mumbled, eyeing at the driver inconspicuously.

Joshua paused and you froze, sitting between both men. Your boyfriend exhaled through his nose slowly, his face staying impassive as the brightness of his screen flashed on his face.

You peeked at the screen, guts twisting when you caught a glimpse of Jeonghan passing the phone to you, making you record him as he fucked you against the wall of the changing room.

The screen went black.

Joshua locked his phone, placing an elbow on the car windowsill, his forehead pressed against this fist. “Fuck.”

Jeonghan laughed silently, palming the plush of your thigh gently.

“So, you two have started to have fun,” he said, his voice low and raspy.

“Just a little present. For the road,” Jeonghan quipped, pressing his lips together in a sweet smile.

Back to your bedroom, you got ready for bed, brushing your teeth facing the mirror, where you saw Joshua come to hug you from behind. He placed one of his hands on your tummy, leaning to leave a kiss on your cheek.

You beamed at him.

“What?” he asked.

“You're being clingy,” you muttered after rinsing your mouth.

“What if I am?” he retorted, pressing another kiss on your temple.

“I like it,” you admitted, turning around so you could face him, cupping his face before giving him a sweet kiss on his lips. “Let's go to bed.”

“I'll be there in a minute,” he nodded, patting your ass gently.

There in the bed, Jeonghan lied with one arm tucked under his head, looking at his phone until his eyes caught sight of you. He left his phone aside, watching you crawl on the bed to lie next to him.

“I'm starting to really like this,” you muttered, bringing a hand to gently rub his tummy up and down.

“To like what, princess?” he asked with a soft tone, his hand caught yours to play with your fingers.

“Sleeping with both of you at the same time,” you admitted with a sheepish grin.

“Oh, so you didn't like it before?” he chuckled, his nose wrinkling at little.

Joshua came to the bedroom, lying next to you so now you were sandwiched by both.

“I did, I'm just saying that I can get used to this. I like it,” you shrugged, feeling the warmth from both bodies. Joshua cuddled up behind you encircling your body in his arms.

Jeonghan looked at your lips, then your eyes with a sweet smile on his face. “That's good to hear, princess,” he commented, leaning over to plant a kiss on your forehead.

You turned over. Joshua captured your lips in a tender kiss, conveying without words what he wanted to say, but was too tired to bring himself to vocalize it.

“I know, me too,” you whispered sweetly, cuddling up to both before falling asleep in their warmth.

It was one day exactly before Joshua had to leave for tour.

His suitcase sat on the chair in the corner of the bedroom. It was half made, an act you attributed to his reluctance to leave again.

He left earlier in the morning to rehearse with his band, and to get some other things in order before they kickstarted the tour. In his anticipating of these things, he told you he would not take long and when he came back, you could have the afternoon to spend together.

So, you saw it as an opportunity to prepare for a nice time together before he left.

Admittedly, you were not as anxious about him leaving as before somethings you could talk them out with him, but there was still a very particular thing living in your mind.

But you shrugged it off. For now.

You had some hours before Joshua returned home, so you had to make every minute count. You left to the market to buy some groceries, and to buy some other things needed for your impromptu plan.

By sundown, you had successfully cooked dinner, tidied the entire apartment, making the table look nice and pretty, adorned with candles and a nice set of cutleries and a bottle of wine. And lastly, you made yourself look pretty. Prettier.

You stomach dropped to the sound of the door being shut, and you practically ran to see your boyfriend entering the apartment, looking at the table with a question written in his face.

In his hand he was holding a bouquet of flowers.

“You’re back!” you chirped, welcoming him in a warm hug that always seemed to leave him speechless.

“Hi beautiful,” he giggled joyfully. “What’s this?”

“Hi handsome,” you replied, equally as joyous. “I thought of surprising you.”

Joshua showed you a wide smile that robbed you of air. “I was thinking of surprising you,” he said, his eyes wrinkling around the corners. “You beat me to it.”

He handed you the bouquet of flowers, which was strikingly beautiful. It was chosen carefully and abundant with pink, blue and white flowers.

“Oh, Josh, thank you so much,” you beamed at him, taking the bouquet from his hand, and instinctively brought the first flower to your nose. “They're beautiful. Let me get them in a vase.”

Joshua watched you as you came back with the flower vase and place it on the table. He was still standing in the same spot, as if he had frozen with surprise upon seeing you all dressed up, minus your shoes.

“Come here,” he caught your hand, pulling you closer to him with a tug. “What is the surprise for?”

“Well, I wanted to spend a nice evening with you, silly,” you replied with an obvious tone, but you were unable to hold your shy grin. “I want tonight to be just the two of us…”

Joshua smiled, his hand had already parked at the small of your back, the other quickly finding your face to cup your chin, planting a gentle kiss on your lips. “Thank you, baby,” he whispered, holding you closer when you tried to pull away.

“Wait, I also got you something,” you giggled when he looked offended at you when you pulled away and turned to the kitchen counter, where you had left a small box.

You sneaked a look at his face, meekly handing him the present you had prepared for him with anticipation for this day.

Joshua took the box, returning the glance at you but his denoted intrigue. He uncovered the box, revealing the guitar strap you had personalized only for him. It matched his in-ear pieces, and it held a secret message that only him would be able to find.

But he lowered the box, a soft look overpowering the features of his face. “Thank you, bunny,” he whispered, cupping your cheek to kiss your forehead. “I love it.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent in the good company of music playing in the background, food that was carefully prepared and of course, his presence. Somehow you both ended up sitting on the couch, soft touches and tender kisses inevitably led to a heavy make out session.

Joshua grabbed you by the waist, letting out a heavy grunt as he dragged you to sit on his lap, making you straddle him. “Clingy,” you whispered, teasing him.

“I remember you said you like it,” he retorted, his studded eyebrow jumping up slightly.

“I do,” you ran the back of your pointer finger down his cheek, outlining his beautiful jaw, stopping to hold his chin. “It's as if you can't get enough of me.”

Joshua laughed, wrinkles appearing at the corners of his eyes, the chirping sound warming your heart. “What can I say,” he muttered, bringing a hand from the back of your knee to your hip. “I have a nasty addiction to you,” he grabbed the hand from his chin, planting a gentle kiss on the inner side of your wrist. “I'm afraid you've made me insatiable.”

You returned the smile, though shadowed by the fact that you were overcome by the urgent need to feel his body, to melt into him. He raised his glinting eyes to you, noticing the change in your eyes.

“I'm going to miss you,” you said, conquered by the feeling coiling in your throat.

Joshua paused; his gaze softened. “Me too, baby,” he whispered too, the grip of his hands on you tightened softly.

“Yeah?” you breathed, egging him on.

“Every minute,” he responded, swallowing hard. “You know I'd take you with me everywhere I go, given my way,” he said, his gaze trained on you as you straddled him, lowering yourself on top of him.

“Would you?” you questioned again, enjoying the way his eyes were on you, reading the features of your face as though he wanted to memorize them again.

“Do you want to visit me sometimes?” he muttered, his eyes following your lips as you leaned down to capture his pretty lips with your own.

“Yeah,” you breathed, his large hands slid from the plush of your thighs, gripping your waist, his fingers pressing over the fabric of your pretty dress. “I could visit you.”

“Please do,” he muttered into your mouth, his breath hitching audibly when your fingers slipped on his hair, your fingertips raking his scalp as you kissed him deeply.

“Okay,” you replied faintly, swept away by the beauty of the man below you, looking at you with glimmery eyes.

“Will you?” now he questioned, he bit his lower lip as his hands on your waist grabbed you to press you down on his hard body, making you feel his warmth.

You nodded your head yes. “Yeah,” you echoed, diving for another long kiss, rolling your tongue in his mouth expertly. He moaned into your mouth, his hand leaving the curve of your waist to cup your cheek.

“Mn,” he hummed in delight when you thread his dark brown hair between your fingers. “Baby.”

“Yes?” you paused, breaking away from him to look in his eyes.

His hands, one parked in the curve of your waist and the other flatly pressed on the small of your back exchanged positions. Joshua licked his lips slowly, appearing to be gathering his words.

“Thank you for tonight,” he muttered, tiny dimples appearing above the corners of his mouth when he swallowed hard. “You make me so happy, feel so loved.”

Your heart stammered at the sound of his words, the way his eyes brightened up, looking at you with so much love. “You don't have to thank me for that, Mr. Hong. I do it gladly,” you whispered with a sheepish smile, pushing his hair away from his face with your fingertips. “I wanted tonight to be about you,” you said, putting weight on the last word.

“I love the sound of that,” he admitted, a small smile appearing on his face. “Come here, Ms. Hong,” he muttered, bringing a hand to cup your cheek, just as you closed the space between his lips and your own, sealing them with a tender, slow kiss.

The question remained. Now that you were with two people, how would it work between all three of you? What was the finish line? Was there even one?

When this little deal was prompted initially, you had your doubts. You still did. The deal was fair and simple, but it was a one that you could not take from zero to one hundred. You soon had to face insecurities, hurt feelings and other concerns, you soon came to realize that it was not so simple.

“Hey,” you hummed, pulling away from his kiss once again. “Where are we going with this?” you whispered shakily. A hand caressed his cheek, threading his long hair back.

“With Jeonghan?” he asked, easily knowing what you were referring to. You nodded. “Where do you want it to go?”

You stayed quiet, at complete loss of words. You never came to a conclusion in your mind, and never thought that Joshua would relinquish the decision over to you.

“Don't you think it's a little early to decide that?” he asked, noticing that your answer was incomplete.

“B-but,” you exhaled through your nose, irritated that you were not as ready to have this conversation as you initially thought to be. “I need us to be in the same page when you leave. I want you to be sure of this.”

“I'm sure of this,” he nodded slightly, his tone had dropped, but it still sounded so sweet, and so reassuring. “Are you having second thoughts about Jeonghan?”

“No, no,” you mumbled. “I'm just thinking—I'm having a hard time with the logistics of the whole relationship.”

Joshua showed you a smile that made your tummy flutter. “I know. I've noticed,” he giggled sweetly, but soon his features took on a more serious look. “How about this, let's just roll with it, yeah? Don't stress about it now.”

“Okay,” you whispered, however in your mind you did not put the matter to rest.

“Yeah?” he mumbled, lifting his eyebrows. “I what you want to know is that I won't doubt you, I don't. I trust you, and I want this to work.”

Something burst inside your chest. Relief, excitement. The feeling made you breathe erratically. “Yes, but how will it work?” you countered. “Are there any rules? Do you have any limits you don't want me to cross?”

His gaze softened, much as if he understood what the root of your worries was. “There are no rules,” he smiled, planting a small kiss on your forehead. “Just the ones that we mentioned. We don't date other people.”

“Is that the only rule?” you pressed, reading the features of his face but he stayed looking at you fondly.

“Do you want to set some rules?” he inquired, blinking rapidly when your hand slid from his nape and started toying with the small rings adorning his earlobe.

You shook your head. “I'm just saying, since you say that everything is okay with me and Jeonghan dating but,” you sighed out some nervousness. “What will happen when Jeonghan and I actually start dating?”

“What do you mean?” he asked with a soft tone.

In anxiousness you pinched his earlobe softly, the corners of his lips curved up. “I don't want you to feel bad,” you finally blurted, a sunken feeling slumping on your shoulders.

Joshua took a pause, the smile weakened a little, but his eyes did not seem to lose the glimmer when he looked at you. “I'm happy if you're happy,” he mumbled.

“Babe,” you leaned your head to one side. “I find that endearing but I don't believe that you won't feel jealous,” you stammered through the words. “You can be honest with me. I want you to.”

Joshua seemed lost for a second. “I'm not lying,” he said carefully, but you detected a slight hint of apprehension. “I can't say that I won't feel jealous—I am jealous that I won't be here with you and he will,” he read your face intently. “But I want you to be happy. And I want you to explore this with me and Jeonghan.”

“That's the thing I am skeptical about,” you smiled because he did first, and you pushed his shoulder. “Stop it.”

“Why do you feel skeptical?” he emphasized the word, teasing you a little. His smile faltered and he took on a more serious tone. “Mn? Tell me.”

“I think that the fact that you no longer feel possessive makes me a bit incredulous that you actually want this,” you confessed, fearful that your words strike a chord in a wrong way.

“Oh,” his mouth dropped slightly and nodded. “Well, I've told you this before, baby,” he explained, he was not condescending with you, and you silently thanked him for that. “With everything that we went through, I made the decision to change,” he paused, and you noticed that the conversation was starting to affect him, but he held your gaze, even though you saw that his eyes had started to take a glint of sadness: “I thought I would lose you. All because of my stupid jealousy and possessiveness, and I almost did.”

The remorse you felt gripped your heart so vehemently that it robbed the air from your lungs. Joshua noticed the change in your eyes, and he moved his arms to encircle your torso and pulled you to his body.

“Listen,” he started, bringing your gaze to his. “Let's take this easy, yeah? Don't worry about how I'll feel, I'm exploring this too,” he suggested, his tone softened again. “Learn about what you like, what you don't like. As long as we're talking this through, I think we'll be fine.”

The challenge presented itself to you. You thought about how hard was for you just to talk your thoughts out. You thought about how you will grapple with being with two people at once, despite one of them being away.

But you wanted this to work out too. You wanted to explore this, with him, with Jeonghan. And for once, you liked that you were the one in control.

“Mn?” he pushed his eyebrows up. “Will you tell me if things get complicated?”

You nodded with your head in affirmation. “Will you?” you whispered.

His gaze softened. “Of course,” he nodded slightly too. “I promise.”

You finally felt the weight lift from your shoulders, you smiled at him. “I promise too,” you whispered.

He responded with a smile of his own. “Better?” he asked with a tiny whisper.

“Better,” you confirmed.

Joshua brought a hand to cup your cheek as you leaned your head to find his lips to clasp them with your own. “I love you,” he murmured with a raspy tone.

You returned the kiss, just as passionate. “I love you, Joshua.”

✮ author's note: hi hello hi hi

so, let me overshare a little bit here: i'm bi. writing some bits from this chapter were a bit exciting for me because i want everything to be v clear, but at the same time i don't want to make it so extensive that it becomes the theme of the whole chapter, so, yeah. hannie is bi in this universe hehe (●'◡'●)

this fic is a wild ride for me. i love writing it so so much. and that is the whole idea of writing fic for me. i get enjoyment out of writing it and sharing it with you. idc if i lost readers when i turned this fic into a polyamorous fic, i'm happy with the readers that stayed.

✮ special credits to my beautiful @thatgirlfromwindsor, who provided me with prompts for our joshie, namely him having nightmares about losing bunny, him being so fucking in love in a rave/party setting, the indoor dates (i'll use more prompts baby, i think i'll use every single one you sent because my heart aches for more josh scenes like these) i love you 😙🩵

✮ additional note: i just started using a word processor to write (i used the tumblr desktop app to write yes, i'm insane), so there is a change in the quotes the i used for this chapter (i.e.: curved quotes) so if you're freaky w details like that like me, i am sorry hahahaskfkdjgh

anyway,

✮ STAY TUNED FOR PART FOUR!! ✮

toodles!

JOIN MY TAGLIST | PREVIOUS CHAPTERS | BUY ME A COFFEE? (●'◡'●)

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toruro · 1 year

Text

— ✧ mr. nice guy

pairing. hong joshua x reader

description. you thought your next-door neighbor was just being polite when he offered to help you carry in your boxes the first time you saw him, but as you adjust to your new home, you start to notice that joshua’s nice in other ways too: nice eyes, nice smile, nice arms, nice fingers, probably nice di—okay you get the point. but just how long can you go with lusting after your neighbor before giving in to your very much not-nice desires? well, lucky for you, joshua also isn’t nearly as much of a gentleman as he likes to let on.

✘ tags. smut (18+), neighbor!joshua, joshua's muscles deserve their own tag tbh, oral (f receiving), alcohol consumption (NOT drunk sex), petnames (sweetheart mostly :pp), biting, spit kink, unedited as always ✘ w/c. 5.3k ✘ a/n. i have had this idea in me for a WHILE so it's good to finally get it out! honestly i feel like the story is a little rushed but whatever

there's a gentle voice coming from in front of you, but with the way you’re holding the large box up right in front of your face, you can’t see who’s speaking. “do you need help with that?”

muscles straining and sweat beading down your skin, you manage to squeak out a quick, “yes please!” a wave of relief washing over your body as you feel the box grow infinitely lighter as this man’s arms wrap around the side. “thank you so much,” you say, still gripping onto the box as you slowly walk over and lead it to the front of your apartment door a few feet away. setting it down carefully, you look up so you can finally see the face of the angel who saved you so much trouble.

“no problem," he replies politely, and as your eyes flicker up, you're taken aback by his kind smile. "you new here?"

"did the moving boxes give it away?" you joke and the man cracks a hearty laugh.

"you got me there. i'm joshua," he tells you, and you think to yourself that there can't be a name for fitting for the man. he points over to the door across from yours. "i live right there, so i guess we'll be seeing each other a lot. what's your name?"

your name falls from your lips in a haze, internally thanking your lucky stars for finding yourself an apartment that was not only close to your work but also in close proximity someone as nice as joshua. "i guess so," you reply looking down the hallway where the movers had left the rest of your boxes. "i don't suppose you'd be down for another few boxes?" you ask hopefully, wincing at the way you're so shamelessly asking for help.

joshua chuckles at your expression and you feel that the ground might as well swallow you up whole. "it'd be my pleasure. it's not often i get new neighbors who are under the age of 50."

"i've noticed that...is there a reason the average age of the residents of place is like 60?" you ask curiously as you walk down to the end of the hallway to the boxes.

"not sure," joshua says. "i guess this place is just popular with them. not that i'm complaining. noisy neighbors are never a problem for me." he gives you an awry look, and you're a bit confused before he's jokes, "unless you plan on making that something i have to worry about now."

"no!" you reply a little too quickly, flustered by the way joshua is so easily coming up with conversation. it seems as if he's so smooth with everything, and with the way you have a million thoughts racing through your head—it's a it hard to keep up. "i mean, i don't do much or anything really," you clarify, reaching down to pick up one box while joshua goes to grab the other side.

"good to know," joshua tells you with a smile, and you try not to focus too much on the way that he grunts slightly when lifting up his end. "you're always welcome to come over to my place for a drink or something," he suggests as you begin walking over to your apartment.

smiling as you set down the box, you adjust your shirt and look up at him. "i'll think about it."

you, in fact, do think about joshua's offer. you think about it a lot.

you think about it that night when you carefully unpack your boxes. joshua's a nice guy, you think to yourself, because it's not often you come across such a person who's willing to give you an hour of their day to help carry heavy ass boxes for someone they barely know.

you think about it two mornings later when you're walking down the hallway with your groceries for the week only to find joshua about to enter his own apartment, clad in a tight fit t-shirt and gym shorts. his skin glows with layer of sheen sweat, his light brown hair pressing against his forehead in an oddly fitting mess. his breath is slightly labored when you call out his name instinctively, turning to look at you with bright eyes.

"hey, how's it going?" he's polite. joshua is polite, and a gentleman. you almost feel guilty when your eyes dart to the arms when the muscles flex as he brings up a hand to grab one of your grocery bags, insisting that it was his pleasure to help you out. something along the lines of, "i just got back from my work out and i can't help a pretty lady with her bags?"

pretty lady. you hope he can attribute your burning cheeks to the hot sun and not his words, because holy shit does he have your stomach doing tumbles. after all, joshua's just being polite right? right?

you think about his offer again three evenings later. you're just leaving your apartment to go on a walk, and joshua seems to have some people over, five boys knocking on his front door, where there seems to be more boys on the other side. you quickly glance at each other as you slip out of your apartment, hoping to hobble off quickly before things get more awkward, but then there's that door opening and you hear joshua's voice and you falter in your tracks for a moment at the way he calls you name so smoothly.

you turn around to face him as his friends slowly shuffle into his apartment, joshua leaning against the doorframe with a bottle of beer. he holds it up and raises a brow and fuck—if you don't stare at the way the bottle is perched between his perfect, thick fingers—fuck. "you wanna join?"

you want to. fuck, you really want to. so why do the words, the simple phrase of, "yeah sure," fall flat on your tongue? maybe it comes from the embarrassment of lusting over a man you hardly know. from the humiliation of letting your eyes dart towards his arms, his hands, his fingers, joshua's collarbone and the little adam's apple that bobs up when he takes a sip of his beer.

"i, uh, i was just going on a walk right now," you tell him, your voice sounding meek and you want to cringe at the poorly planned response. joshua chuckles, and you aren't sure why.

"you don't wanna come? aw, you're hurting my feelings," he coos.

"no! that's not what i meant," you say quickly, averting your gaze from joshua because the way he's peering down at you right now—god, you don't know if you want to go up to him and fall straight to your knees and suck him off or turn around and run away out of pure humiliation. "i just—you know—walks. go on them every day," you try to explain haphazardly.

"no it's okay, i get it," he replies before looking into his apartment when one of his friends yells out his name, "it's bit rowdy in here anyways, so i don't blame you." there's an awkward sort of silence that settles between you and the air is thick as you debate if you should turn around and leave right about now. "i don't suppose you'd want to stop by after your walk?" he asks hopefully, and you figure this is his way of giving you a second chance.

this time, you look up at him and smile. "i'll think about it."

except this time you actually think about, not just sit and wonder of the possibilities. as you pace down the street, your one hour walk that usually make time fly now seems to feel like the longest sixty minutes of your life. you come down to two possibilities at the end of it:

1. you don't show up and joshua thinks you're an indecisive bitch

2. you do show up, have a good time, and things are left at that

of course, putting it like that only really leaves you with one choice to choose, that being the latter. knowing that your own conscience won't let you live it down if you don't end up choosing the latter, you march up to joshua's apartment with a slowly diminishing confidence. yeah, you're eager to see where this night will take you, but you're also not necessarily confident that you're anxiousness won't betray you.

it's just that joshua is so nice and so kind and he has you thinking so many thoughts that your words always seem to jumble up into an incoherent mess whenever he speaks to you. all you can really ever think about when you see him is—well—all of him, which includes his nice smile, his nice muscles, his nice—okay, shit, you really need to control yourself.

doing what little mind-clearing exercises you can cram into the time it takes you to get up to your floor, you're pretty sure your breath is labored from how hard you're thinking alone. before you have any time to let yourself back out of this, you're rushing up to joshua's door, knocking maybe a little too desperately.

in the next moment, you have time to listen in on the other side, the room being quieter than you remember it being an hour ago. all that can be heard is some soft shuffling that can only be identified as joshua's footsteps, and before you know the door is opening, the one and only standing in front of you.

"there she is," joshua greets with a smile, "low and behold!"

the tips of your ears burn at his welcoming, stepping back a little. "h-hi," you murmur quickly, the responses that you planned in your head earlier seemingly fading away in your mind. "is that offer for a drink still on the table?" you ask hopefully, chewing on your bottom lip as you wait for an answer.

"'course it is," he replies. "i was waiting for you to come to your senses," he continues, stepping to the side so you can slip off your shoes and step in, realizing now that all his friends have left leaving only you two. you follow in after him, your eyes glazing over his apartment. it's got the same layout as yours, as expected, only it's mirrored. it's slightly messy, presumably from the mess his friends left from before, but the set up is neat and you can tell joshua has a good eye for color.

"i like those paintings up on the wall," you comment, pointing at a set of wall art hung above his sofa. joshua looks up at it before smiling softly and nodding, walking to the kitchen as you trail behind him.

"thank you, one of my friends that was here earlier got it for me. he's great at interior design, if you're ever looking for someone," he tells you, reaching for the fridge and pulling out a cool bottle of beer. "here," he says, handing it to you before grabbing a bottle opener and popping off the cap for you. holding it out in front of you, you're able to watch his hands up close—they're big and veiny and fuck, you'd be lying if you said you didn't press your thighs together slightly.

you aren't sure joshua notices, and if he does, he doesn't make it obvious. "thank you," you murmur softly, letting him step back and put the opener away before he leads you to the living room. you settle down on one end of the couch, and instead of opting to sit on the arm chair, joshua just sits on the opposite end. throwing his hands back so they lean on the arm rest and the back of the couch, his biceps are stretched out and on display thanks to his short sleeve t-shirt.

"so," joshua begins as he grabs his own beer and brings it up to his lips, "how do you like it here?"

you take your own sip of the cool liquid before responding, "it's hardly been a week...but i like it. it's peaceful, and i like the neighborhood."

"yeah, the people are nice," joshua agrees. you're nice, you think. "how was moving in?"

"i'm still honestly unpacking," you chuckle to yourself, feeling more comfortable now that there's casual conversation being initiated. "i have a bunch of clothes at my friend's place that i still need to pick up," you explain, leaning back into the plush cushions.

"you need help bringing them in? i can lend a hand if you need."

your stomach tumbles at his generosity, but you shake your head. "ah, you've already helped me so much, i don't think that's fair."

"oh c'mon," joshua counters, "you can pay me back with something if that'll make you feel better."

you raise a brow. "now how would i do that? you got venmo?" you tease.

"i was thinking of something a little less materialistic," joshua replies with a roll of his eyes, and you think you might just combust on the spot.

you aren't exactly sure what he means by that until you bring your eyes to meet his and that's when you see it. how his eyes darken, how he gulps even though he hasn't taken a sip of his drink, how he shifts in his seat. suddenly, you're dawned with the realization that on your walk, you left out the option for a third possibility, a.k.a. you do show up, have a good time, and then have joshua rail you into the next dimension.

gaining confidence, you cross your legs over each other and turn to face him better, deciding to go along. "huh..." your voice trails off. "i'm not quite sure what you mean by that joshua," and you swear you hear his breath hitch when you say his name.

he regains composure so quickly it's hard to tell you even threw him off guard in the first place. "i'm not really sure actually. you have anything to offer?"

you shrug as you set down your beer at the coffee table by your feet. "i make a mean maple cake, if you're into sweet stuff." joshua perks up at that.

"i do have a sweet tooth," he mumbles to himself, pretending to be in thought as he follows your movements, pushing his bottle to the side. "that's gonna take a while though," he says solemnly, "you're gonna have to get the ingredients...make the cake...bring it to me...sounds like a lot of work for you..." his voice trails off, and then he's tossing you that look again.

joshua figures you're both definitely on the same page by now and there's no point leaving the tension between his go unrelieved for any longer than he has to, and before you know it he's reaching one strong arm over to grab your wrist, pulling you into his hold so he can kiss you fiercely.

his lips are soft, but the way he's pushing against you, sucking, nipping, running his tongue along you is all but gentle. with joshua's arms leaving your hands and instead running up the sides of your waist, pulling you in roughly, you gasp into his mouth, allowing him the chance to slip his tongue against yours, tasting you, feeling you, being one with you.

one hand comes up to cup the side of your face, tilting your head slightly so he can push his lips against yours harder, his tongue sinking deeper to explore the caverns of your mouth. when he pulls away, you both share heaving breaths of air, mouths connected with a string of saliva before he's leaning back in and capturing you once more.

his other hand on your waist gently nudges you and you're falling back onto the cushions, head hitting one of the pillows as he crawls into the space between your legs. inching up his knee until his thick thigh is pressing up against your pounding core, easing the tension that he's been so carefully building up.

joshua noticed it. the way your eyes lingered on his arms, his fingers—noticed the sparkle in your eyes followed by the immediate embarrassment of your own thoughts. he's not sure if you're just easy to read or if he's just good at reading you but whatever it is, you're an open book to him and fuck it's so cute it has him going crazy.

you whine against his lips, rocking into him to the best of you abilities while you're pinned beneath him. there isn't much space to move around in the little corner of this couch, but you hardly pay mind to the inconvenience when joshua peels his lips and thigh away from you. "ha—no," you gasp out, hips chasing the relief the hard muscle provided. joshua chuckles, shaking his head as you pout.

"relax baby," he coos, and the pet name has you shivering under his touch as he inches his body down the length of the couch until his upper body rests between your thighs, face dangerously close to your gaping cunt. "be patient, okay?" he orders, and you nod your head quickly in agreement. joshua traces his fingers from your knees achingly slow up to the hem of your denim shorts, slipping under the cloth only slightly, leaving you nearly begging for more.

"josh—shua—fuck, more, please?" you choke out, voice broken from pure desperation. joshua clicks his tongue at you, flashing a warning look which shuts your lips real tight as he reaches up to unbutton the shorts. you quickly reach down, helping him out, but he swats your hands away.

"can you keep your hands up for me sweetheart?" he asks so fucking sweetly you almost forget about the mischievous glint that flashes in his eyes.

"uh-huh," you mumble, slowly lifting your hands above your head, gripping onto the armrest of the couch to brace yourself. in the meantime, joshua unzips and yanks your shorts off, tossing them to the side so they fall somewhere in the room. staring down at your now exposed and soiled panties, you hear joshua suck in a breath.

"all this for me sweetheart?" he murmurs, bring two fingers up to lightly pinch your clit, causing you to jerk against his hold.

"all for you," you affirm nearly immediately, squirming when he takes one finger and tuns it down the midline of the fabric. joshua's eyes are gaping down at your core, nearly in the shape of hearts as his mind races with the idea of how you're already so undone, so desperate, so far gone for him. slowly but surely, he hooks one finger on each side of the waist band, peeling your panties off and exposing your dripping folds.

joshua nearly groans at the site of you clenching around nothing, saying, "fuck baby, you're gonna soak my couch."

"s-sorry," you stutter out, averting your gaze so you don't have the chance to look at the mess you've made.

"don't apologize...it's hot as hell." he pauses, then looks up at you. "you mind if i get a taste?"

"god, fuck yes—i mean no—wait," you babble, "i mean—shit—i don't mind, not at all."

joshua's heart swells at your response, waisting no time dipping his head between your thighs and pressing his tongue flat against your folds. you cry out at the warmth and friction, instinctively shooting one hand down to grab at his hair. within seconds, he's pulling his head back and giving you a stern look. "what'd i say sweetheart?"

"hands, sorry." you quickly pull your fingers back and return them to their hold on the couch.

"there you go sweetheart," joshua mumbles before diving back in, wrapping his arms under and around your thighs to hold you in your place. you can nearly feel his muscles bulge against your leg and you twitch against his mouth at the thought. meanwhile, joshua runs his tongue up and down, going and back and forth between hardening at and circling it around your hole before moving up and wrapping his lips around your clit and flicking his tongue over it.

the erratic, unpredictable movements have your back arching off the couch within minutes, moaning out words like, "feels so good joshua," along with quite curses as you attempt to keep your voice down. it hardly takes a few minutes before you're writhing under him, joshua pulling back with his lips and chin coated in a sticky wetness with a grin.

"you look so pretty baby," he compliments, using one hand to continue to rub between your folds and circle around your clit, never halting the shoots of pleasure through your spine. his eyes are flickering between yours and core, and then holy shit, his lips contort for a moment and then he's spitting on your already soaked pussy and the act is so demeaning and dirty and hot that you hardly comprehend the next words that come out of joshua's mouth. "so do you wanna cum now, or on my cock?" he offers, and you figure there's a right answer and a wrong one, but you don't have the brain capacity right now to think about which is which.

pouting, you respond, "c-can't i have both?"

that must be the right answer, because it has joshua beaming at you, smiling against your pussy as he slips two fingers into you and presses his mouth on your clit. jerking your hips up, joshua follows the swivel of your lower half, matching the thrusts and flicks of his wrist to your own movements so his fingers are hitting deeper and deeper every time. you think you're close, but when he's curling his digits inside of you and sucking hard on your nub you know it's coming.

you don't have time to warn joshua about your impending orgasm but the way your walls hug his fingers so fucking tight is warning enough, and he speeds up both his fingers and the flicking of his tongue to the point where you're on the brink of tears as he finger fucks you through your high. humming in appreciation at the way you call out his name as you do, he releases your clit with a filthy 'pop' sound, fingers taking a moment to gently slip out of you as you come down from your high.

"you did so good angel," joshua praises, pressing kisses along your inner thigh, smearing your skin in the mixture of your own cum and his saliva. your breaths are far too erratic for you to respond, but the way you look up at him with heavy eyelids through thick, glossy lashes tells joshua all he needs to know. unraveling his arms around you, he bring himself up and guides your legs to wrap around his bare torso—shit, wait, when did he take his shirt off.

gaping at this man who could quite literally be god, you can't even comprehend what's going on until you're being carried into a whole new room, joshua throwing you onto his bed, the messy covers bunching up around you. he stands at the edge, unbuckling his belt at a painfully slow rate. quickly scrambling up from your laying back position, you crawl to the spot in front of him and help unbutton his jeans. "already wanting more, huh?" he teases, but doesn't push you away, rather putting his hands to his side to watch you do the work yourself. you don't respond, taking this chance to grab both his jeans and boxers, pulling them down in one go.

joshua's cock springs out, thick and beaming with a bead of precum that dribbles off the tip, lightly hitting your face in the process. your mind is foggy and you look up at him with dreamy eyes as you absentmindedly open your mouth and close your lips around his bulbous tip, lapping at the precum. joshua doesn't hesitate to grab at your hair and pull you off of him, and for a moment you're scared you've done something wrong, getting pulled out of your haze.

but then you catch the way his voice drops an octave when he says, "slow down," and your worries are put at ease. "we can do that another time. wanna feel your cunt." another time. those words ring in your head. there's going to be another time. you ponder on that thought for a moment and then you recall the next of what he says and you look up at him with these doe eyes that joshua finds so fucking adorable, he'd be surprised if you don't see his dick twitching.

crawling onto the mattress, your limbs intertwine in a hot mess so that one of your legs is hooked around his torso while the other rests between his knees under him. it's a slightly awkward position, but the thought hardly crosses either of your minds once his fat tip his sliding between your drooling folds teasingly, before you're begging, "c'mon joshie, stick it in, please—need it now."

now joshua isn't one to usually give in—he's good at maintaining his patience. yet, the way you mumble out his nickname as if there isn't a single thought in your pretty head has his mind going numb, losing all semblance of self control until he can't help but sink his full length into you.

and joshua knows he's big, and looking down at how you nearly shake beneath him, it's confirmed that this is a lot for you. he almost feels bad at the way tears stream down your cheek, considering pulling out and pressing kisses along your face until you're ready to try again but then you're saying his name like that—"joshie, joshie, joshie"—and he just knows that neither of you would be satisfied until he's balls deep inside of you.

"takin'—god, fuck—takin' me like a pro, huh sweetheart?" joshua finally finds it in him to grunt out with out his voice wavering from the way you hug him so well.

"yeah-huh," you nod along, holding up your hand in a grabbing motion, joshua not hesitating to hold your hand in his so you can squeeze it tight while you work through the initial stretch. "you're so big, joshie."

"yeah," he breaths out a laugh. "you like it?" he groans, slipping out around halfway, giving you a chance to breathe, before he's shallowly thrusting back into you. "like me stretching out this pretty fucking pussy?" you nod dumbly, and your jaw gyrates as you try to form a response but no words come out, strangled syllables morphing into pornographic moans as joshua begins to drag his cock out further each time, plunging it deeper and deeper as he goes on.

"oh my god," you're finally able to babble, tits bouncing back and forth as joshua begins jamming his hips into yours with increasing force. the sounds of your wet pussy colliding with his cock bounce off the walls and if it isn't the filthiest thing you've ever heard, you don't know what is.

joshua latches one arm to your hip, the other continuing to hold yours as he pins it by your neck and shifting his body over you so his head hovers above yours. this new angle his his cock ramming hard down onto a spot that has you biting down onto your lips and crying out, "fuck, joshie!"

"you're squeezing me so tight," joshua moans as you rake one hand down his back. "suckin' me in, god i can't get enough, sweetheart," he grunts out, dropping his head down to bury it in the crook of your neck as he continues to pound into you. your body feels as if it's on fire in the best way possible, and with the way joshua is pressing open mouthed kisses onto your sticky skin has your hips lifting to meet his sharp strokes.

you feel as if things can't get any better and then you feel his teeth bite down into your flesh and your eyes roll to the fucking back of your head as the pain quickly shoots to pleasure when he sucks on the spot, the patch of skin throbbing—pulsing. "'m so close, joshie," you moan as he pullings away, looking down at your fucked out face. your eyes are droopy and shutting tight every time he fucks into you, mouth slightly agape and never fully closing.

he isn't sure what urges him to do it but then he's shoving three fingers into your mouth and joshua thinks that this might just be true love at the way you don't even hesitate a second to circle your lips against them and run your tongue against them. drool dribbles down your lips as you suck on his fingers and joshua's mind is consumed with the thought of your mouth doing that to his dick and then you moan around his fingers at the way he twitches inside of you and—fuck—he's getting close too, but he just can't allow himself to cum until you have.

slipping his fingers out, he uses the same, slick hand to toy at your clit as you clench around him tighter. "you said you're close?" he groans. "fuckin' cum then, cum around my cock how you wanted to, sweetheart."

it's the way he's gazing down at you endearingly. it's his fat cock pushing itself deeper inside of you, forcing you and your gummy walls to make room for me. it's the filthy words that spill from his lips, laced with his sweet words of praise. it's all of it that comes crashing down on you, the waves of pleasure hitting you over and over and over again until you're reduced to nothing but a thrashing, crying, whining mess with the words, "joshie, fuck," falling from your lips.

you're so lost in pleasure of your second orgasm of the day that you hardly notice it when joshua slips out of you himself, fervently jerking himself off until he moans out your name and there's thick white ropes of cum painting your stomach and clit 'til he's practically milked himself dry.

all the echos through the room now is the sound of your hiccups and joshua's gasps for air until he's finally falling on top of you, head resting on your chest.

"you are so not a gentleman," you gasp out between breaths as he slowly lifts himself off of you, rolling to your side once you unwind your leg from around his hips. he furrows his eyebrows at you with a frown.

"what do you mean?" he whines. "that's literally like my trademark."

"well change it," you grumble, running your fingers over the mark on your neck from where joshua bit you.

"i'm sorry," he murmurs, turning over to you to look at the bruise against your skin. "did i hurt you?" he asks, eyes wide with worry. you want to kick your feet at the way his concern has butterflies coursing through your veins as if this man didn't just rearrange your guts.

you push his face away when he leans down to pepper your neck with kisses, shuffling back onto you. you aren't sure how much longer your poor heart can handle this. "it's too late to be a gentleman now..."

"is it though?" joshua asks with a smirk, looking down at you.

"dunno...guess you just have to prove to me that you're worth the title."

"does this mean i get more chances?" joshua grins.

you roll your eyes. "maybe...it depends on what you have planned."

"well," joshua drawls out. "i'm thinking a nice date...then maybe you, me, my bed and—"

i guess you can tell where it goes from here.

a/n. half the time i think i dont know how to end fics without some stupid dialouge bc wtf.... anyways if u enjoyed pls like and reblog!

#joshua x reader #joshua smut #joshua svt #joshua seventeen #hong jisoo x reader #hong jisoo #seventeen joshua #joshua x you #svt smut #seventeen imagines #svt scenarios #seventeen x reader #seventeen smut #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fanfic #📝 writing

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