#jothingz

[sleepystrawberrybunny]

i feel like opening up about something that happened.. kinda ranty, pretty queer.

i'm following a course at uni called 'psychology for intercultural communication' and the main focus is prejudice studies (the irony of it all). my professor - she's not queer, she's cis and hetero - asked how come gen Z in particular feels the need to use and create so many different labels for their identity, especially queer people. she didn't use a judging or mocking tone, she had genuinely curiosity, more the spirit of a scholar who wants to understand a certain thing, you know? so that felt a bit reassuring.

no one responded in the beginning (we were like 50/60 people in total in that room). then a girl opened up about being poly - she's cis hetero though - and how she partecipated on a podcast with a queer friend and they talked about asexuality, something she didn't know existed. other people started to mumble, the professor and her assistant asked what it meant. they didn't know what asexual was, let alone aromantic or other more "obscure" identities.

as queer myself - currently identifying as demiromantic bisexual - my mind had instinctively started to form an answer to give from my point of view.. but then i got incredibly anxious to talk because, not only i have anxiety and even though i push myself to intervene when i feel the need to - not doing it and regretting it later feels worse most of the time - it's still hard, but how the situation got made me feel so alone.

even though i wasn't going to come out to the entire class - i'm a very private and reserved person in general, i prefer to keep these things to myself and my inner circle.. i also experienced bullying as a kid and as a teenager so there's trauma fear that comes with that as well - exposing myself got even scarier.

in my daily real life i'm very alone in my queer identity. i don't really know many queer people, i'm surrounded by people with a conforming identity, and those few queer i know i don't have a close enough bond with. sure, i have my group of close friends that are really accepting... but i don't have an explicitly queer safe net for my queer identity to run to and talk to about my feelings and experiences as a queer person that talks with other queer people who can understand and sympathise with me. i dream of that. of an heartstopper kind of thing.

i also realised how much i actually consume and live on the internet. for me all the words and definitions and labels felt so familiar and natural because of how used i am to come in contact with them daily through the internet, but it's not the same for the majority of people even of my own generation. it was kind of alienating realising of how much i've been living inside my own bubble.

if it wasn't for the internet, it very much probably would have take me a longer time to find out that my feelings, behaviour and experiences meant, in fact, being attracted to girls the same way i am to boys, and it wasn't just "how female friendships are". i was so confused and lonely in my feelings, but then internet showed me that it's something that's real and has a name, and that people like me exist out there.

in that class maybe there is someone like me, queer and with an answer to give but too scared to do it, who knows. and maybe one of us should have courageously opened up for us to find eachother. maybe it was a missed opportunity.

i'm writing this here and not only in my journal because i think i'm hoping for more queer people to answer and share their experiences, if they feel like it of course. i'm in need of feeling less alone i guess, even if it's through the internet again, but it's the only outlet i have for it atm.

(i should probably add that i live in a town in the countryside in italy, and currently it's not very easy for me to often reach bigger cities, so it's easier to get lonely)

[onlyoneofyouu]

i love how in my favorite groups there's always that one member that makes me go "omg hiii *name* 💖💕💓💞💝" and then that other one that makes me go "i can't do this anymore take him away from me🧎‍♀️"

[onlyoneofyouu]

My very professional review of Things I Can't Say I LOve by OnlyOneOf

bare with me, i had a long day working and studying and all my two braincells left can do is singing "addict to you- addict-" and thinking about that very specific frame of yoojung from the dOpamine mv (more on this later).

not a single bad song in this album i fear.

things i can't say i lOve (instrumental)

went straight into my sci-fi dystopian cyberpunk playlist. the sound is sooo cool to me!! it's giving ateez ngl (affectionate). love the fact that it's not too rough on the ears and has that airy (?) ending. i've replayed it an embarrassing amount of times already... watch it being one of my most played songs this month 💀

dOpamine

since the preview i suspected i was going to enjoy this title track a lot and more than seOul drift, and i was right! i really like the contrast between the industrial sounds and percussions of the verses reminiscing of chrOme hearts and the guitar in the pre-chorus and bridge (that made me levitate btw). the build-up is nice 😌👌 it's on the ooo chillier side aka perfect for me yay

give me the lOve, bitxx

the sound is giving alternative rnb (too tired to know for sure), so i was sold already 😋 she's the brighter sister of "mirage", the toxic one of "suit dance", and the chiller one of "gaslighting". she sits at the same table of "time machine", "desert" and "heartbreak terminal", and i love this for me because i love all these songs 😎

i might be completely wrong about all the associations above though ... my mind is playing a mashup remix of all of them at this point lol

O

nothing better than a slow sexy rnb-ish sound with percussions to make me happy 🤌 the sound production is so cool again, idk how to articulate words more than this rn, but all the various sounds work perfectly together and with ooo's voices 😌👌 talking of voices... kb's deep register esp in the beginning!! more of this in the future please and thank u 🙌 mill mini-rap followed by junji higher note!! can't seem to hear enough of yoojung tho 🧐👂 and that's a crime also because this is my fav track of the album 😠 i'm gonna look for a color-coded lyrics vid to check 🤨

gravity

this song is sooooo gooooddd ahhhhhhhh really my vibe once again 🤭 the chorus is so cute <3 and nine and junji in the bridge 😮💨 i am levitating 🕴 tbh i see it as a perfect chiller title track too, if ooo had made a bright, cute concept, the genre of vibes that love 119 by riize and inbloom by zerobaseone are for example, but chiller 🤔 also, I CAN HEAR MY MAN YOOJUNG CLEARLY HERE THANK U

time for my current ranking:

O

gravity

dOpamine

give me the lOve, bitxx

in conclusion, i really missed my boys ☹ more than i thought i did tbh! i'm so happy we finally have new music from them 🫶🏻 there's no better way to start the new year~

this is all for now because i am too tired to write anything more 😴

let me know your thoughts!! 🫶🏻

[onlyoneofyouu]

[onlyoneofyouu]

life update!! i went on a trip to the mountains, i got sick (now i recovered :), i opened a tiktok acc for journaling and as a digital diary 😮 (if interested it's @jo_urnaling :), i tried to work on the txt lore more than once but i was too tired so i gave up 😮‍💨 (for now, i'll work on it again when i can, sorry 😔)

wby? how have u guys been?

[onlyoneofyouu]

i've been listening to the ooo album on repeat while making the tag game and i am now ready to drop my ranking of the songs

[onlyoneofyouu]

PLAYLISTS

making playlists is one of my hobbies and i have way too many lol. you can find lots of them on my spotify profile, anyway here's a few :)

— all songs by (updated)

The Rose

OnlyOneOf

GEMINI (k-rnb/hiphop soloist)

I.M solo works (mx)

JayB solo works (got7)

— lore

🏴‍☠️ ateez songs in the storyline order

⭐ txt songs in the storyline order

— genres

🌈 queer kpop songs

🎸rock in kpop

🎧 k-rnb

— vibes

🚶‍♀️she's a movie, movie star

🔮 wicked, dark and sexy kpop songs

🦢 desperate, dark and elegant kpop songs

💫 songs to feel like you're in a sci-fi dystopian movie

🪩 kpop disco

— years

2024 kpop favs (work in progress)

2023 kpop favs

2022 kpop favs

2021 kpop favs

[onlyoneofyouu]

: ˖𓂃 ִֶָ ๋ 𖢆 ִֶָ welcome to my blog !! : ˖𓂃 ִֶָ ๋ 𖢆 ִֶָ

where spam is very welcomed as well, so feel free to like/reblog all you want anytime!

-> queue is currently :

inactive ✔ (things are reblogged/posted in real time)

active (most of the posts you see are programmed and not reblogged/posted in real time)

𓂃

ABOUT ME:

🍏 i'm jo (she/her, 23) my main is @sleepystrawberrybunny, while here i mainly post about kpop!

🍏 STAN LIST : mostly tomorrow x together, but also monsta x, ateez, onlyoneof, le sserafim, gidle, new jeans, oneus, enhypen, stayc, dreamcatcher, nct-wayv, cix, the rose (and occasionally i check out others not mentioned here)

🍏 bias list here

🍏 my spotify playlists here

𓂃

LORE :

⭐ TXT storyline masterlist more under #—txt lore

🏴‍☠️ ATEEZ storyline masterlist more under #—ateez storyline

𓂃

you can interact with me whenever in whatever way you feel comfortable with <3 i'm always open to be moots :)

🍏 my moots <3

𓂃

you can also find me on spotify, twitter, pinterest !!

: ˖𓂃 ִֶָ ๋ 𖢆 ִֶָ hope you enjoy your stay 🫶🏻

[onlyoneofyouu]

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE 🎉

I hope next year is kind and loving to all of you 🫶🏻

how have you guys been?

uni has been keeping me very busy (i started my internship and working on my thesis), i should graduate in a few months!! 🥹 I haven't had much time to keep up with the latest kpop stuff 🥲 (as well as to write the txt freefall analysis, that hopefully is gonna come out before i graduate ☝💀) i've been catching up now, during the holidays ☆ and hopefully i'm gonna be a lil active again 🤞

THANK YOU MOOTS for messaging me and tagging me in cute games despite my absence, i'm gonna catch up with them ASAP!! 😭🙏 yall made my year so much fun this one too, i love you and i miss you ❤

and THANK YOU to all the NEW PPL that followed me!! (especially for txt lore) all the comments in the tags i found in my notifis really made my day 🫶🏻🥹

[onlyoneofyouu]

"Corporate needs you to find the differences between these pictures"

[onlyoneofyouu]

guess who's sick 🫠

[onlyoneofyouu]

braided my hair, manifesting some cute soft curls tomorrow morning

[onlyoneofyouu]

Actual footage of me working on understanding Ateez's storyline:

[onlyoneofyouu]

i want to upload clips of the concert so bad

[onlyoneofyouu]

the power of editing uh?

[onlyoneofyouu]

update about the act:sw lore vrcs: i'm probably going to be able to write and share my thoughts/analysis once i'm done with my exams 😔 so in two weeks approx... but if i manage to do it sooner you'll know~