#just didnt wanna bother finding her doodles

[breadforreal]

who are these regretefreaks

[soundofseventeen]

Cupid’s Chokehold (Kwon Soonyoung)

Hi, I’m excited for this one!!!! I haven’t written anything this good for Hoshi since 7 Things, so here we are!!! I hope y’all like it!!!!!

Inspo: Cupid’s Chokehold

Word count: 6910

Relationship fourteen: met at an amusement park where he hit on the person operating a ride; ended over Soonyoung being 10 minutes late to a date. Time together: Three days short of a four month relationship.

*

Relationship fifteen: met at one of the shopping malls when he was ordering a juice at the food court; ended over Soonyoung racing to keep you company when your date stood you up at a coffee shop. Time together: 24 days.

*

Relationship sixteen:

“Guys, guys, guys, meet my girlfriend!”

In the split second that you looked up from the Superstar Pledis game, you lost your momentum, missed one of the notes, and lost any hope that you could beat the high score challenge, so you just hoped that Soonyoung’s latest fling would be worth losing this. Okay you were exaggerating a little but in your defense you needed all the RP points to help upgrade one of your better cards. You let yourself fail the game and looked up again with a smile on your face. 

“Hi!” Mingyu said brightly, beating you to the punchline and pushing your legs off his lap to stand up and introduce himself better. He took one of her hands in both of his and shook it eagerly. “Nice to meet you.”

“Pleasure’s all mine.” 

You noted that while a little awkward, she didn’t look terrible. (Not that you were judging, but a lot of Soonyoung’s….past loves weren’t always the nicest.You’re looking at relationships three, six and seven here.) 

“You must be Y/N. Soonie talks about you all the time.” 

Soonie.

It took all your self control to not wrinkle your nose in disdain. Literally, every one of his exes called him that, so naturally you hated it. Okay not hated, but it made you wonder if the nickname held some kind of curse because not one relationship succeeded.

“The one and only.” You did however, squint your eyes at her, not recognizing her. “I’m sorry I don’t think we met.”

“I’m Aiko. I work at the vet where Soonie occasionally brings his dog in.”

Ah, no wonder he’s been bugging Seungcheol about his newest love and taking Kkooma out. You opted to stay quiet and not bust your best friend. Yet. He would eventually bust himself. But you had to admit that you were impressed with how often he changed parts of his persona...at least when you didn’t have to scold him how it wasn’t necessary and that the right person would adore him the way he was. 

But, you still had to give her the credit where it was due. “Awww. Which is your favorite pet that’s been by?”

“Definitely the bunnies. We have some clients that own a rabbit farm so we see them a lot.”

“I love bunnies!” Your lips formed a pout, almost crying at the state of fluffy tails and funky teeth biting into the vegetables clouded your thoughts. You snuck a peek at Soonyoung who had hesitantly pulled a thumbs up sign and you gave him the smallest of nods which was the biggest sign for Soonyoung to start smiling widely and that little crack in your heart to split open again.

They didn’t stay much longer; Soonyoung literally just ran to his room to change clothes and grab his charger so no one really had the chance to talk to Aika other than the basics to avoid the awkward silence.

*

You had long ago stopped crying over Soonyoung seeing past you and going for another person but that didn’t mean the pain lessened. (thank you relationship number four.) You were always “my bestest friend in the entire world” or “my platonic soulmate who knows me better than anyone”, never more and you hated it. You just wanted to one day be someone he saw in a different light or at least find one who was like you. Maybe that would hurt less. 

But maybe you were just happy that you didn’t lose sleep over him like you used to or wept into the armrest of your couch watching reruns of the shows you binged watched together.There was some normalcy back in your life but the pain still somehow managed to hit you as hard as it did the first time Soonyoung brought someone around you. 

“No, you dumbass! She’s right there!” You angrily flicked your hand at your phone screen in front of you. Okay, maybe you figured that if you experienced this in real life (as you had many, many times) you realized that even if the person Hoshi ended up with someone who was exactly like you, it’d be a blow to your heart and you weren’t sure how you’d react to that.

“No, don’t go with her...don’t you dare take another….okay, fine ignore me. But don’t come crying to me when you fuck it up.” You really needed to stop watching these movies. Yes, you always knew how it ended, but that didn’t mean your anger wasn’t real. And you just kinda highkey wished it’d happen to you.

“Please stop yelling at your phone and get out of this car before I forcibly take it from you,” Soonyoung threatened.

“You were the one who wanted to come with me to wash my clothes so you’re doing everything at my pace and I swear if you break-”

“Slow down baby...you’re goin’ too fast baby!”

You smacked him. “Listen, if you don’t want all of South Korea to know you’re here, keep your voice down.” 

He clicked a finger gun in your direction and slid out the driver’s side. “Gotcha. But seriously speaking, are you sure that you don’t mind that I invited Aika to hang out with us later?”

“I mean, I have to get to know her eventually, right?” You smiled a little at him. It had been a couple days since the initial introduction but you didn’t know anything else besides the obvious, and her lack of social media posts didn’t help. (You may have stalked her a little.) You finally unbuckled your seatbelt and slid your phone back into your pocket to bring two carts for your dirty laundry.

If it had been up to you, you would’ve come to the laundromat by yourself just have some time for yourself. Being around Seventeen nearly 24/7 took a lot of energy from you, but not in a bad way; you just liked having peace and quiet sometimes. But Soonyoung took it upon himself to use one of his only days off to accompany you and spend the morning with you. He even went as far as bringing breakfast to wake you up. 

He helped you with the detergent and softeners and other essentials because you would’ve been mortified at the thought of him taking your dirty clothes. You werent sure why but you didnt like the thought of him touching anything. He whistled some Shinee song as he walked inside, already knowing which spot you liked. But before you could actually start loading the washing machines, you needed to reload your card because this particular laundromat didn’t use coins anymore. 

You could feel your phone calling out to you to resume your watching and you were tempted to but you needed to do all this first. You took your money out the wallet and topped up the balance and once the washing machines were ready to go, you sat down at one of the tables, your finger itching to hit the play button and proceeded to ignore the rest of the world. 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed but you were vaguely aware of Soonyoung disappearing for a moment and returning with the bag of breakfast, sliding a disposable tray to you and setting down a carton of juice. Then he quietly brought out a notebook and doodled on it. Your favorite thing about Soonyoung? He knew when you didn’t wanna be bothered, so he often found ways to entertain himself. Sometimes he watched his own thing; sometimes he read one of Wonwoo’s recommendations; and sometimes he worked on choreo. When it got too silent for his liking, he FaceTimed Chan so he could see exactly what he was working with and any adjustments that could be made. 

“Tell the future of kpop I said hey,” you said absently, taking one of the pre-sliced waffles and biting into it. The plot in front of you had progressed drastically, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to stop watching or keep it going because every move and every word hurt your heart. 

“You tell him! Okay Dino, it looks good, but now try the spin counter clockwise. I wanna see how that looks.”

You stopped watching long enough to put it away and focus on Soonyoung as he went into choreographer mode. Though he was sitting, you watched the way his hands moved and if you stood up, you knew’d be seeing them trying to mirror each other’s actions.

“Hyung, what if we did this-” you could hear Chan’s heavy breathing with the way some nonexistent tempo increased and the way his sneakers squeaked on the floor. “-instead of..” More squeaking and you were pretty sure he had thrown himself on the floor. “This? And if we circle around I’m thinking maybe Mingyu hyung, it could work.”

Soonyoung clapped, bobbing...or probably counting in his head, most likely picturing whatever he saw Dino doing, and smiled brightly. “I like it! If we can saturate the movement a little more-” more hand movements and a couple of foot stomps, “- I think we can get him to pull it off.” He stood up, made sure he wasn’t disturbing anyone else and mimicked the younger boy’s action.

You nodded along, breaking out into your own smile at watching him. Your heart ached for him, but you knew you had to content yourself with how you were. You couldn’t risk losing him.

*

“I’m telling you Y/N, I think she could be the one,” Soonyoung sighed dreamily. 

“So you’re telling me that because this woman makes you pancakes any time you visit her in the morning, she’s made for you?” you stared off into space, making a confused face as to how in the world that could add up. “You don’t even like breakfast foods.”

“But when she makes them...oh my god. I even told my mom about her.”

You didn’t have it in you to tell him that not only did his mom video call you and shake her head at the proclamation, but she also expressed her worry about him jumping into a new relationship every time he came home with a broken heart and how one day, he wouldn’t be able to go back to himself. You understood her; since Seventeen’s debut, he had been in 15 different relationships, more than all the boys put together, none of which lasted longer than eight months. (Needless to say, you kept track.)

“You believe me, right?”

“Eat your ice cream Soonie.”

“You know it doesn’t even sound cute when you say it.” He wrinkled his nose at you. “Just for that, you’re paying for our dessert.” He pulled out his wallet and slid it out to you. “Go.”

You pulled out his credit card, frowning a little.

“What?”

“Nothing...it’s just don’t you keep a picture of Aiko in here?”

“Nah, I’m new school.”

“Didn’t you steal one of the boys’ phones the other day to complain to the phone company that yours stopped working?”

“Hey, it wasn’t my fault that I forgot that it was still updating. Shut up.”

You threw your head back and laughed before going to pay the nice lady for some of the best homemade treats you ever tasted. You patted Soonyoung’s head fondly, resisting the urge to wrap your arms around his neck and just hugging him for being so funny. Good thing too, because when the little bell dinged announcing a new arrival, the Japanese beauty came in and Soonyoung was up so fast, he nearly dropped the chair. He spoke animatedly, doing some kind of handshake you knew was only for them and then pointed to you, which you waved politely and pushed her your way.

“Always hyperactive, isn’t he?” she laughed when she joined you. “I told him I just had lunch but he swears the muffins are the best here. What do you think?”

“They’re good if you have a sweet tooth, but I personally like the cookies.”

“I’ll have whatever you like then,” Aiko smiled at you. “I’m sorry if I’m awkward by the way. I’m nervous.”

“About? Hi, I’ll take some of those too, and then we’ll be ready to pay.”

“Soonie talks about you like you put the stars in the sky so I’m a little scared to say the wrong thing.” Not the first time you heard that, but you heard it with relationship number 10 (you think.)

“Honestly, just treat him right, and we’ll be okay.” She didn’t have to know how unlucky Soonyoung was...the cheaters, the manipulators, the insecure ones who swore you were stealing him away, the ones who wanted him for his fame and/or fortune and even a couple who only used him to get to you. Every single one ended up with him at your house in the middle of the night and the cheap takeout place that delivered at any hour seemed to be his only cure. Most of the time he didn’t go home and called the leader to say he wouldn’t be going to work the next day. Some days, he used the time to go to the beach or out of town, but sometimes he liked staying in and watching movies...both of which included you.

“Okay.” She received the bag of sweets from the old lady and skipped back to her boyfriend who placed his hand on her hair and kissed it and then gave you two thumbs up. That was your cue to leave, despite him insisting you stay but you really needed to put your laundry away before you decided to leave it by your entrance until it was time to wash again. (Or so you reasoned with yourself to not interrupt them.) Aiko seemed to be the best one for Soonyoung so far, and while it still killed you to see him with someone else, at least she was nice about things. You slipped out, noticed only by your best friend who looked betrayed at you leaving but you texted him your excuse. 

It did, however, surprise you when you opened your front door and you cried all over again, the bitter tears stinging for feeling like a bad person for not wanting it to go as well as it was.

*

“Special delivery!” you cried out to the boys at Pledis in their practice room a month later. “I’ve got some things for my favorite boys.” Comeback season always proved to be more strenuous than the last and you hated how little you saw of them. In their earlier days, you would’ve seen at least one of them roaming Seoul, but alas.

“You’re a lifesaver!” Hansol took one of the plastic bags from you and dug through it, frowning when that one didn’t hold what he was looking for.

“I never said these were for you. I was talking about Nu’est.” (Dongho had taken your treats to his group mates though, but they didn’t need to know that.) However, you handed him the correct bag and he pulled out a small bag of M&Ms, yelling triumphantly and they took turns searching for their requested items.

“Where’s Tiger Brain?” you asked, looking around. He had originally asked you to bring him another pair of sweats because he had ripped them. Again. They currently hung over your arm while you picked the lint off of them.

“Recording studio.” Jihoon opened his can of Coke and somehow managed to drink the whole thing in a single chug. Impressive if not concerning.

“Why?” You counted 12 heads, three different times. No one else was missing. 

“Aiko’s here and she looks pissed.” Junhui then stuffed his face with the lunch you brought for him, in case he had said too much.

“I haven’t done anything!” Your reflexive defense whenever things had gotten rocky for the lovebird in paradise. Always true, but no one ever seemed to believe you until they had seen that you did indeed mind your business. This time was no different.

“We never said you did. Chill.”

“Do I need to go in and clarify something?”

“That might make it worse.” Minghao looked around to see if anyone would hear them. “When she asked for him, it was because she wanted to talk to him about his dog...or rather Cheol’s dog.”

So she found out. “It isn’t something to be mad over.” You had known people who did that, but no one ever had to stop working in the middle of the day over it. 

“When i went to ask him for the notebook with the new dance, she was telling him about the phone call he had with you.”

“Which one?” Now you could feel the annoyance tingling at your fingertips. You always called him and he you, none of which were ever important. The most recent one being him calling you at 2:33 last night (er this morning) when he asked if he should dye his hair red or green or maybe yellow….to which you yelled at him for waking you up. But how did she know about that one? For one moment you wondered if she found a way to bug your phone...it happened in relationship number five. Creepy and unsettling and the paranoia still hadn’t left you.

“I guess she saw you the other day shopping for groceries-”

“You know, sometimes my stomach likes to remind me that I need to be fed. Just a crazy thought.”

Minghao pointed at you dramatically. “This is my story time, peasant.” He waited for you to close your mouth again. “Now, I don’t know what the gist was but apparently you saw her and said something about going to the beach with him.”

Classic word twisting...relationships one through now apparently. “Yeah, we were thinking that after this comeback that we wanted to take everyone out because, you know, you all work hard and don’t take any breaks.” Originally, it had been just for you two, then Seungcheol and Jihoon had cut into the conversation, wanting Soonyoung’s opinion for something they wrote, and from there, Soonyoung said something about a leader line getaway with you, and then Wonwoo’s voice sounded and before you knew it, bam...beach day with OT13. You had a run in with her around that time and you talked about it, but she didn’t seem bothered by it. But you had felt sick now about it, so you smiled and handed the sweats over to one of the boys and decided to go home before you got caught here. On your way out, you picked up a few wrappers that they managed to throw on the floor and went to throw them away when you saw a stack of burned pancakes inside.

“Aiko brings him breakfast some mornings but when she’s in a bad mood, she burns them,” Joshua said quietly dumping his own trash in there. “It’s been happening a lot.”

You said nothing. The one thing about Soonyoung’s relationships you didn’t keep track of? How many of them felt threatened by you near the end. You had lost count.

*

The time on your phone displayed 12:46 am when someone knocked on your door and Soonyoung’s I’m outside text followed shortly after. You sighed a deep sigh, one that came from your tired soul because you knew this was coming and you could feel the beginning of end. The end being your patience hollowing before you expressed how tired you were of his stupidity and possibly ruined your friendship. 

“Let’s go out tomorrow,” he said as his greeting. “I feel like we haven’t done anything together lately.”

“Comeback season, remember?” You wanted to shake your head at him, noticing the way he was wired up and in the way you wanted see him

“But that’s not really an excuse to ditch you. My treat.” He smiled at you hopefully, pleading for you to say yes so you nodded. 

You picked up your phone, ready to place an order on the familiar app. “Are you hungry?”

“Yes! I thought you’d never ask!”

In the middle of his kimchi soup dinner, he spilled everything, not even looking at you as he told you everything you missed. You didn’t bring up being at Pledis or seeing the spoiled food, and you could tell he was grateful.

“Hey Y/N?”

“What?”

“Is there something wrong with me?”

You wanted to joke about the infinite number of things just to make him smile, but in his vulnerable state, you couldn’t, just because you knew how he’d take it to heart. (You’ve learned from that mistake.) You just shook your head. “You’re human.” He nodded slowly, trying to enjoy his dinner, but slurping but slurping the noodles so slowly. You sighed. 

Relationship ended over: Jealousy and insecurity. Time together: two months, two weeks.

*

Relationship seventeen: Soonyoung accompanied Jeonghan to get a car fixed and flirted with the secretary; ended over the secretary accusing Jeonghan of trying to scam the company when you somehow got involved saying you had saved some receipts; time together: 43 days.

*

Relationship eighteen: attempted to rekindle something with your neighbor across the street; ended over the neighbor being engaged; time together: 0 days

*

Relationship nineteen: befriended a tourist and offered himself to show off the sites and best places to visit. (No mention of you, but details); ended when the tourist had to go back home but the pair promised to remain friends; time together 20 days

*

Relationship twenty:

“You’re in my seat.”

You looked up at the stranger confused, the fluorescents of Pledis lights blinding you momentarily. “I’m sorry, I always sit here. I’m waiting for my friends to get here-” You blinked, trying to adjust to the lighting.

“Bongcha, you’re here!” Though the voice was very familiar, you were very confused when Soonyoung dashed by you and ran to the stranger….Bongcha, you assumed her name was, and hugged her. “It’s so good to see you!” he turned to you. “Hey you! I wasn’t expecting to see you today!” He made this grand hand gesture to the person he was talking to, not even wondering why you were here this early. “This is Bongcha! She’s my girlfriend. Bongcha, this is the spectacular, marvelous, beautiful, wonderful, talented, amazing-”

“Are you gonna get to the point soon or are you just gonna waste your breath?” Mini tour season, you guessed? He was only ever this hyped up whenever someone told him they were going to sing their hearts out.

“Y/N,” he finished. “My best friend in the whole entire world that I adore to bits even when I’m treated like this.”

Bongcha nodded at you once she looked you over, but didn’t say much else. “I was waiting to see if you’re done with rehearsals so we can go have dinner.”

Okay, she wasn’t gonna acknowledge your presence, which you were fine with. You weren’t here to see her, or even Soonyoung, really. But dinner already? It was still somewhere between the breakfast/lunch area. Whatever though. “Do you know if Seokmin is done with whatever you’re doing?” you asked him instead.

His mouth formed an ‘o’. “You’re finally gonna take my advice and one of my friends? I like it.”

“Gross, no. He wanted to know if he could tag along with me to the eye doctor and I said I’d meet him here.”

“But you didn’t ask me?” He looked hurt, despite the fact his girlfriend was there, clinging to his arm, ready to pull away when she heard enough.

“Our appointments are literally back to back. You’re not missing much. I’ll see you later though?”

“Okay, yeah...ye-whoa. I’ll see you later then. You’re really strong Bongcha.”

As it turned out...you needed a stronger pair of glasses, but so did Seokmin so it wasn’t a complete loss. He treated you (after looking offended at the thought of you paying your meal) to a McDonald’s lunch, raving about the time he and Wonwoo accidentally broke one of the soda machines during their predebut days and then dove into a different topic how they were hitting the road again soon just to blow off some steam and he was excited but he was gonna miss you, because he always felt like he saw you the least, so you offered to go shopping for some friendship bracelets so he wouldn’t be alone and the big baby really broke out into his big grin at the thought and ushered you out the door before you request dessert. If only your heart could want Seokmin the way it wanted Soonyoung.

Bongcha, huh?

*

Seventeen being gone meant that you could catch up (and even get ahead in some cases) on everything you neglected during your free time. Sometimes you wondered how you still had a job because of how easily you dropped it for them, but some mysteries didn’t need to be solved. 

You stocked up on groceries and snacks, and even bought yourself new bedsheets to change the theme in your room, nearly deciding to redecorate the entire place with a sudden burst of inspiration. You nulled the idea when you realized just how much effort it’d actually take, but you did compromise on silverware….and maybe even plates but nothing too crazy. 

You managed to spy Bongcha at the post office once, but she deliberately looked away before you could wave, and normally you’d be hurt about it, but there was no way that whatever she had with Soonyoung could last. You could attest to all the rude ones but it wasn’t worth telling Soonyoung about it. It’s not that he wouldn’t believe you, but he’d confront her, and then take you both somewhere to “work out your differences” and he wouldn’t leave you alone until you swore you were friends now. No thank you.

Most of the time when he called you, he let you in on the details of the small tour like who messed up the lyrics (he was looking at Seungcheol here), or how Seungkwan deciding to play marco polo in the pool and accidentally scared one of the kids when Jun pulled his leg underwater. You loved their antics and sometimes you wished you could take them up on the offer and go on tour with them at least once, but you needed your space from them. And before you knew it, they were finally done and they’d be back.

“Y/N, it could be her. I can feel it.”

Even in your sleepy haze, you could hear the ridiculousness at how he sounded. You paused the FaceTime call, clock letting you know it was 3:17 am and Seventeen was just getting home from the home country tour but he wanted to stop by her house first to surprise her. He had been giving you shit about always going to the first and last concerts but never more unless you had the money for it, but nonetheless letting you know the basics that happened, but now he was letting you know that he was serious about Bongcha. “Oh god.”

“I mean it. Like I talked to my dad about her and I wanna take her to home so she can meet them once we can go on vacation. You should hear the way she says my name.”

“Oh Soonie, you’re so cute. Oh Soonie, you’re the best. Oh Soonie…” you actually had to stop yourself from gagging. That nickname would be the death of you. 

“You know, it’s still not cute when you say it. I don’t know why, but I don’t like it. So just for that, you’re buying me lunch when I-” The phone clattered to the floor and you woke up finally at being dropped.

“Hosh?” Nothing. “Soonyoung?” And then you saw a brief flash of light, and then you could see the denim and you lost vision so you could assume Soonyoung threw you in his pants….or shorts….whatever. 

“What is this?!” You could finally hear him. “Who the fuck is this?!”

Oh shit….that was gonna be awkward. “Soonyoung?” Not like he could hear you but still worth a shot. “Hey, are you okay?” A deeper, unfamiliar voice spoke up, probably answering his question but still sounding muffled. You pressed the speaker as close to your ear as possible, straining to hear anything. “Soonyoung, don’t do anything stupid.” You could hear his deep breaths.

“I...you...and this...you’re joking right? This...it hasn’t been happening right?”  The way he struggled to keep his composure broke you and you just wished you could find the humor in how he spoke, so bright and so happy, the denial. “It has? Okay, well...have a nice life. Just delete my number. And you...I could so kick your ass right now. No, don’t get up.” 

“SOONYOUNG!” you yelled when you heard something break and a door slam. 

“Change of plans Y/N, I’m coming over.” He offered no other explanation and hung up on you.

*

“Is there something wrong with me?” The question you always hated to answer and with every heartbreak just made you wanna lock in his house somewhere and not leave until he didn’t have a rebound. He’s had cheating girlfriends before, but this was the first time he saw it with his own eyes, and it was different in a sense. 

Nonetheless, you were honest. “It wasn’t your fault, you know. Some people can’t stay committed.” You wanted to reach over and take his hand in yours, seep out all his pain and carry it with you, but you stayed put. He stared at his bowl of soup, not even bothering to eat it. Your own food remained untouched too, no doubt more cold than warm already. 

Soonyoung finally put his face in his hands. “What’s wrong with me Y/N? Why can’t I ever find someone who stays?”

“Do you ever think that maybe you jump into a relationship too fast without even thinking?” 

“No...I always make sure I’m over someone.”

“Twenty relationships since debut isn’t normal Soonyoung.” He raised his head to look at you, tears ready to spill out in case you said something to push him over the edge, but didn’t say anything, listening, waiting. “I think that maybe after your breakup, you come to me and then you’re here with me, and then a couple days later, it’s like you bounce back and repeat the cycle.”

“Where the hell did you get 20?” he asked, but didn’t let you explain yourself. “Where did I meet 20 people that have somehow made me their boyfriend?” 

“It’s just that...every time someone new comes into your life….you just go so into...and I don’t know...you swear they’ve become some part of your life and you look so happy….I don’t know. Twenty.”

“Do you really think that of me? Do you really think that I’m like that?”

“Soonyoung, it’s almost four in the morning; you literally came to me because your ex-girlfriend is cheating on you. You have done this every single time in the past. You just called Cheol to let him know you’re not going in tomorrow because you’re staying here. I’m sorry, but did you even ask?” you realized he never did; he just assumed you’d let him every time and you have. “Later this week, you’re gonna on your own doing who knows what because it’s all too much for you and you’re gonna meet someone. You’re gonna get to them, tell me about it and then it goes wrong.”

“It’s not 20. Hell, it’s not even 10. Am I that desperate to fill a void in my heart? But even if it was, why the hell are you counting who comes into my life?”

“Because I care! I hate seeing you like this. I can’t stand you-” 

“Okay, I’m gone.” He stood up abruptly. “I won’t come back next time.” He pulled out his wallet, took out a few bills and tossed them on the couch. “Here. I’m so sorry I ruined dinner, but I hope this makes up for it.”

“Where are you going? Take your money; I don’t want it.”

“I’m going to my dorm because apparently no one cares how I feel when I’m there. Good night.”

Relationship twenty (not twenty?): ended over a cheater; time together: three months; additional comments: thank you Bongcha for this fight. You just lost your best friend.

*

Much like Soonyoung’s relationships, you counted the days since Soonyoung stopped speaking to you. It’s been 87 days. Your texts and calls went unanswered and the boys pretty much made excuses about Soonyoung not being able to come to the phone when you called them. It didn’t matter; it was fine. You loved being ignored anyways. You didn’t need him; that's why you had your kdramas to get you through the heartache. At least things could work out in a fictional universe. 

Still you cursed yourself for ending up at Pledis and signing in at the front because apparently your pride wasn’t gonna let you have this. You waved to Hyerin who was discussing a possible collab with Beomju, but neither saw you, so  you went on your way to find anyone of the 13 boys who could help you. Your first stop was the recording section with Jihoon playing producer and Jeonghan behind the mic. Joshua was in the corner showing Seokmin how to play the song he liked and Seungkwan occasionally sang the lyrics to “I HATE YOU”  but everyone stopped everything when you opened the door. Although sudden, none of them seemed surprised to see you, but annoyed at being interrupted. 

“Where’s Soonyoung? I need to talk to him. Please don’t tell me he isn’t here.” Your voice sounded tired, and if you heard any type of rejection, you were sure to cry.

“Practice room,” Jihoon said at last, lips pursed, ready to tell you more but thought against it. “It’s a unit day practice so he’s probably showing them a new routine.” He turned his attention back to Jeonghan. “Sorry Hyung. Take it from the top please.”

Seokmin flashed you a quick thumbs up before handing the guitar to Joshua and you just hoped he’d be there. You ran into Vernon on your way over, showing you some parts of the latest rap, and you just accepted the bad omen. Because really, what could be worse than him saying “goodbye”? At least he treated you as if it wasn’t the last time he was gonna see you, but you weren’t sure if that was a good thing and then he disappeared into the room with the vocal unit practiced.

You took a deep breath when you arrived, preparing for the worst, and you knocked gently. You waited a few seconds then you opened the door and were immediately greeted with loud music. Chan and Minghao were stretching on the floor, laughing at some joke and Junhui wiped the sweat from his face. They weren’t surprised to see you either, but now you wanted to know who spilled that you were here because it hadn’t even been five minutes, according to your phone, but man it felt longer than that. The three wordlessly pointed to the furthest corner where Soonyoung chugged a bottle of water in record time.

“Hyung?” Chan called out and he reflexively turned around. “You have a visitor.”

He nodded and the boys dispersed pretty quickly, leaving only the awkward silence, tension and more distance between you than you would’ve liked. You took his sweet time coming to you, making you more nervous by the second. He normally ran up to you as if you had been gone for years and he couldn’t wait to be at arm’s length. You just wanted him to return to normal, or even just run you out of his life already. You couldn’t handle this anymore. By the time he reached you, you wanted him to stay faraway from you. Your hands clammed up and the fight or flight response kicked.

“It hasn’t been 20 relationships,” he said quietly. “It hasn’t even been half, probably half of those at most.” he kicked at the floor. “God why would you even think that? Why couldn’t you ever think I missed you after a long day?”

“You were never at my door unless you wanted to forget someone.”

“Do you think it‘s easy to forget you? Did you ever think that there wasn’t anyone else I wanted to be with, relationship or not? Finding you in everyone was exhausting. Okay, maybe a few of them did get past the whole, ‘maybe-I-can-get-over-Y/N’ phase, but, it’s hard.”

“No, don’t do that.” you shook your head, not quite believing what you were hearing.

“You’re my best friend Y/N. I hate everything we’ve come to because I can’t think straight. Okay yeah, maybe every time something finishes, I think that maybe I can tell you, but then you’re here next to me, and I don’t wanna fuck it up. Did you know I had a dream one time where you had fallen in love with me but i didn’t notice because I was flirting with someone named Minseo and when you finally told me, i was already with her, but you told me in a letter and I told you to get out of my life?”

“Soonyoung, who would be stupid enough to do that? Of all things someone can do.” And then you smacked him. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? Do you know much we could’ve avoided. I’ve kept track of all of them...everyone that hurt you, everyone you hurt, mutual fallouts, it’s all there. Why did you wait until all this happened?” You could feel yourself falling to the floor in relief.

“What do you mean why did I wait this long? I want to stay in your life even if you don’t feel that way about me.” He joined you on the floor. “I’m sorry for walking away the other night. But please tell me about shit like this because I can tell you how many girlfriends I’ve had. But that was my bad too…” he rambled off.

“I’m sorry for accusing you,” you stared at his shoes, your shoes. He wanted his shoe to nudge yours; you could see it; you wanted him to do it too. “You’re not exactly easy to forget either. I guess I forget that you’re a big part of my life and not having you around,” you took a deep breath, “it hurts. But I want you to be happy with your life choices and who you end up with, even if it isn’t with me.”

Soonyoung nodded, not really quite sure what to do with the information. He stayed quiet though, sliding closer to you until your shoulders were touching and he finally bumped his shoe with yours. He stared at his reflection, then yours, focusing on the way you stared at your feet bumping into each other. “Hey Y/N?” 

You looked up at him shyly, and you could swear you heard his heartbeat picking up. “Yeah?” He caressed your cheek gingerly and tilted your chin up to meet his maze and pressed a soft kiss to your lips

*

“Are you still there?”

You waited a few seconds before you answered, a smile making its way across your face. “Yeah.”

 “Okay, good. What are you doing right now?”

“Eww, I think I liked it better when you guys weren’t dating.” Wonwoo. “At least you spared us these conversations.”

“Nothing since the last time you asked. I’m in the living room right now. Are you coming over today?”

“If you want me to. How’s Tigger?” You could hear him say something to Wonwoo and the other person there, most likely asking him about some color schemes.

“Down for his nap. I guess the shot tired him out, but I can at least get more things done.” 

“Yeah, we adopted a cat and we named him Tigger; we got him earlier this week and we just took him to the vet this morning. Yeah, we’re painting the bathroom tomorrow. How much is the total?”

“Damn, move in already. You guys are gross. Wait, is that...Y/N guess what?!”

“What?” You jumped at being acknowledged suddenly. “I don’t need to go take him my credit card, do I?”

“No.”

The warm fuzzy feeling crept up into your insides. Somehow it had all come together after his years of heartache. His parents had been thrilled when they found out when you got together, and it seemed that the boys breathed collective sighs of relief at seeing you two, but nothing compared to what Wonwoo said next.

“He has a picture of you in his wallet and he carries it with him everywhere.”

[pwnyta]

So here are my SUPER rough doodles of some Poke Ocs/

No one asks me to do this.. I just have a lot of ideas and no way to reasonably deal with them... IDK.

These are SUPER messy. Even for me. Dont judge me. I dont wanna be bullied. OMI Might be the only one to understand any of this.. if that. Considering its all a hot mess...

UNDER THE READ MORE.

My shiny Charizard in Lets Go. I named him Cassanova (technically MK18). His mother is a Salazzle that kept him from seeing his Char family for quite awhile. As a Salazzle she didnt like that he evolved the first time but eventually warmed up to it when she saw his coloring was similar to hers. His mother can be very selfish and often uses him to hurt his father, but she does love him and tries to make up for the times shes hurt him (like criticizing his evolution but seeing he was hurt by it so trying to backtrack). Hes very submissive toward women and a little small for his age.

A Char with Gator blood and tough as nails. She is READY TO FIGHT YOU. RIGHT NOW. She aint afraid of water and honestly its a wonder how she has managed to survive this long giving her tendency to push her limits with water. Its what her daddy taught her. Her mom is constantly (offended blinking white guy.gif).

Some Milotic Chars. A little wispy and frail looking but they can pack a punch.... well that Charizard maybe but her sister... good luck getting her to battle. Charizard prefers avoiding physical fights and attacks from a distance... her tail is a bit longer than a usual Char and of course its prime for the grabbing.

The Venusaur parentage in him adds some bulk to him, not a very fast flying but he doesnt need to be. He can tank a hit like nobodies business. A bit of a hooligan despite his seemingly chill nature... tranquil as a forest but on fire within. Once you find your center you are sure to win... he hasnt found his center. Baby bro Char? Just happy to be included honestly.

A pure blood. Shes fun to chill with but always down for a spar too. If theres some mischief happening to some of the elders... she may have something to do with it. Great with kids. (more like ‘great at enabling kids to do stupid shit which makes them like her. Shes the cool adult.’)

Couple of husband Chars. D!Char is a cheeky lad with an ability to backhand compliment like no other but is mostly a sweet caring kinda fella married to a grizzled old man. Old man Char lost his brother and has taken up the duties to teach his niece their traditions. Her mommas not PLEASED but she respects the choice. Its what her husband would have wanted. And with the D!Char there she knows there will be at least someone a bit softer to help take care of her daughter.

SOME BABBIES.

Zippo will stand and allow his fellow Princesses to do as they please.

Kreetan doesnt know what to make of this side of Zippo.

Just a couple of lads enjoying the cool breeze.

Some Team Red shenanigans.

Alex has a pic of Lee with him at all times. He keeps it in his panties.

The answer is no.

MOVE ALONG. THERES NOTHING TO SEE.

Thought about Lees Dojo.

Lee just has a way with people. Luckily he uses his powers for good.

Some trainees. Theyre technically being taught by the Advanced/Assistant class but they still like Lee a lot more.

Will Lee let go of his teaching instinct for a battle?

No. And Sparky hates it.

Blaze Kicked right in the face. You hate to see it. Sparkys been on the end of that foot several times. He understands.

*IM NOT JOKING BITCH.GIF*

Alex is a nice fella... but hes got some extreme buttons.

Or at least a fella as cute as buttons.

Its Lee. Alex’s buttons is all Lee.

Alex fighting with Lee-- as merciful as can be. Saintly even. Alex fighting literally anyone else-- A DEMON.

DO NOT STEAL THE EMPLOYEES.

Dilla doesnt know what to make of his dad and sister being so sleepy at all times. What if they fossilize and remain asleep into the future were theyre resurrected and scared in a spooky hospital?!

Enough of Team Red and Team Red adjacent Pokies...

I also made pirates...

Theyre all part of that Walreins crew and theyre watching their idiot captain try to flirt with a scary swan man.

Also Arceus, the Mews, Type:Null, and some UBs. SPEAKING OF CRIMINALS.

KOP!!! Ive decided his first name is Salvador.

I wanted to draw him without the face coverings.

Kops a pretty joyful fella, doesnt get bothered easily.... but if you dont pay him... OOF. Kops sends his regards to a girlfriend in mourning.

((WHATS IN THE BOX.GIF))

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 2 - “The pair thing doesn’t leave much room for dRaMa and I want DrAmA” - Madison

Ok, so I'm going to recap everything I experienced during this scramble as there is a lot to cover. Willow and I lost the tik tok challenge by 2 points which sucks so we have to go to the warzone now. The warzone is kinda cool. I get to talk to more than just willow which is cool. Everyone seems to like each other and for the longest time no one had a name. Sadly, Brandon shot himself in the foot and was voted out by everyone because he never spoke a word to anyone. I kinda feel bad for the guy but you know, atleast Brandon has 100% voting accuracy. That's kinda hard especially in survivor. I also forgot to mention that I have hit 2 spaces on the Battleship grid so hopefully I get an idol or advantage soon!

Tribal went accordingg to plan;BDC went in a 12-0 vote 😧 I hate first tribal nerves. But its over and Im good. I think i made good connections with people. Made stronger connection with Madison. We both love Dumbo 🐘. I got to talk more with Stephen and Matt so i think those are bonds i could use later on in the game or if I find myself in the warzone with them again. Cullan and Ian were pretty good and nice people. I got along with Ian a lot. Willow was a nice person, we just didnt get to talk a lot today cuz she had 2 finals today. I didnt get to talk with jacob or doodle. (But i already had Jacob as a friend so he is someone who i played with before but dont remember. Oop 🤭) overall iI think warzone this round was a positive thing.

i'm shook that we were safe from the tik tok immunity. i'm even more shook that we got second????????? in it. like what??? i literally was editing the video with like 4 (four) minutes to spare because my idiot ass partner decided last second to tell me that he wasn't able to edit it and tik tok wasn't loading on his phone. like? when were you planning on telling me this information..... anyways we won, so i guess i can't be too upset with him. warzone thing is dumb, unfortunately i was a part of another season monty hosted that has this twist and got screwed over by it hardcore, so shrug. i'm assuming the same thing will happen this time around because of how new all of these people are. i know barely any of them and i'm just gonna assume for the most part they know each other or are at least aware of each other whereas i'm like i know owen and stevie??? it's just one massive eyeroll. gonna just try to focus on not going to tribal though. if we did i would have zero issues voting tommy out. he's zzzzzzzzzzzz. first night of the game i like offered to call while we figure out who to vote, tried to get to know him, etc. he gave minimum effort, didn't want to call, didn't ask me anything about me or make any attempt to get to know me. so i have zero attachment to him which sucks because i feel like for the most part people are going to stick with their assigned sign partner. idk if it's just because he hasn't played a game outside of fb before and they all suck or what but girrrrrl he needs to step it up. i've been working on this puzzle for a minute. for a while i couldn't beat like 2:20~ but randomly got 1:43 and am gonna hope that that's a competitive score, at least good enough to keep us out of the bottom. tommy sucks and can hardly break 2 minutes after being very up front that WE ARE WINNING THIS. i told him i think my score is easily attainable so that he'd try more LMAO because i really don't wanna lose this early. i think my outlook on the game would be so much different had i not gotten stuck with a stale ass plank of wood for a partner.

I really hope Renne and I could atleast be in the top 6 and be immune. But being in in the top three would be cool only because we would see guardians of the galaxy. I got 2:27 and Renee around 2:46 i believe so we should be okay unless these people are monsters at puzzles.

Look I was going to try to do video confessions every time for this game but sometimes you look so bad the Face ID on your laptop doesn't even recognize you as yourself...and that's literally me right now. So text it is! Hey! I'm having a gr8 time. Such a fun game! To recap last round, I had SUCH a good TikTok plan and then Jacob and I are illiterate and didn't realize when the videos were due, so we lost. BUT I think that was a blessing, because we got to talk to people outside of our sign pair, which was really beneficial. At least for me it was. Talking to Renee, Ian, and Maynor was great, and I think I'd be down to work with any of them later on. Stephen potentially too, but he still scares me. Too much history lmao. Tribal was the easiest ever but I can already tell this is gonna be like Mongolia and Hogsmeade where NO ONE talks about the vote until the hour before, which is exciting, but also very stressful. I'm ready to be in a chat with more people in it though. The pair thing doesn't leave much room for dRaMa and I want DrAmA.

We F*CKEN tied!! I just saw the scores and we only got 6th because I got a faster individual time than the 2 Tauros. I’m so happy that me and Renee could take a breather even if it is for one day. I really like Renee and I’d be down to work with her all the way to the end. Hopefully she feels the same way cuz we could be dangerous together.

Ya boy just found the fucking Topaz Idol, suck it bitches! This is the first idol I have legitimately found, I get nervous about having advantages though, I don't want to waste them which has lead me to be voted of with an advantage in my pocket before. I can use this idol to turn votes against me into votes for whoever I want which is beautiful, I hope to genuinely fuck somebody's day up with this! However, if I've found one already, you can bet your ass somebody else has found something as well. Let's see whose dick is bigger, whoever you are.

So far this game has been interesting. When it started I was SHOOK by the 12 tribes of 2. Definitely thought it was going to be interesting and potentially scary navigating how people get voted out. Then the first round was voting off a team right in the beginning just based on who is on it pretty much. When that team ended up being Nehe and Chips I was PUMPED because from a previous game Nehe and I did not leave things on the best of terms. Then one of them gets to come back. And it's Nehe. Great. I did not want to let that bother me much so I figured I would worry more about it when the time came to worry about it. Then the next immunity challenge happened and i truly did not think Owen and i would do so well because I am not normally good at these things and i am shook that we won. Owen's editing ideas were what saved us I think. So not only were we safe for that round, we also get to go to the oasis! And who else but Nehe is there too. I was initially dreading it because I wasn't sure how the conversation was going to go. When we did end up talking he said that he has calmed down, matured a bit, and wants to put things behind us and move forward. I still am not sure if I believe it or not, or at least to what extent I believe it. There is always going to be the thought that he could be playing me due to our history. It's hard not to bring things from the past and carry them in the present and let it effect relationships with people. Seeing Kait in this game I was initially a little worried because I don't know what that working relationship is like. I haven't played a game with Kait in a long time but I do not know where we stand as far as working together. It will be hard to navigate but the reunion was nice to have. Another thing that is worrying me is Owen. Right now we are working well together in the challenges, I haven't had any problems with Owen in the past that I can remember, and we generally respect each other's existence I think? Idk I am just not sure what the relationship is between us two. We also don't really talk much being on this tribe together and I don't know if that's because we are kinda solid and we don't need to do the initial meeting each other and talking to build a relationship, or if because we are both content with how things are running and waiting for circumstances to change to actually start playing the game. It is hard with these teams of 2 as tribes trying to navigate how to play. With that being said, i also am unsure about what I should be doing in the oasis. I have been chatting lightly with people but I think it is too early to be strategizing with them. I don't want to play too hard and there is the possibility of not going to tribal council with these people for a while so the connections might not be worth my while to make. I am just unsure if I am being left in the dark about strategy this early on, or if I am getting paranoid over nothing because it is still a bit too early in the game for people to strategize with this game structure. Time will tell and I hope Owen and I keep winning while the game is still like this 

I am voting for Matt today. All of my decisions are arbitrary until this twist ends because nothing really has weight yet at all. Also, I feel like I can definitely trust the people who voted last time because there is little incentive to betray because the voting pool is so volatile. I expect relatively straightforward votes until we actually start playing Survivor. Ready for the casting portion to end.

I’m feeling pretty good currently! Being like just safe in the middle is exactly where I wanted to be in this game, although it js a little awkward not really being able to strategize right now. I feel like I’m really good with Adrian though and in a place that we can move forward as a pair. I really just wanna make sure I make the merge or til a swap or something because I’m really ready to do well in this game. But I wouldn’t trade safety in this game for anything at this point.

Hey! So, we lost the challenge again which sucks. Willow isn’t the greatest at jigsaw puzzles, but that is ok. Is losing a bunch is making us less of a threat and giving us more social connections with the rest of the game. I got the legacy advantage last night which is awesome. No one knows I have it and I’m not going to tell a damn soul about it. I heard Matt’s name thrown out so I’m going to see if that’s what everyone’s down to do. Everyone seems to like me which is great so hopefully my charm keeps me around for a while. Me not showing excellent challenge performance is also a bonus. I’m getting weird vibes from Nehe. He talks a lot which is why I tried voting him out the first time. He’s too fucking like able so I know he’ll be tough to get rid of. People need to learn to take their hearts out of the game eventually and learn to vote someone out even if they love having the person around. The longer he lives, the harder he will be to kill.

It has been good not having to stress over tribal today. I just hope that Matt B isnt going or anyone else that I talked to in the last warzone cuz they were cool and would like to have the possibility of working with them later on in the game. Update on idol search. I guess M4 and it was a hit and ive been trying to going around it but so far it has been 2 misses so far. I have M3 and N4 left so i hope that tonights guess at 10:05pm is a hit because this is the closest Ive been to finding something in these searches. I hope its something good for my game. I just hope no one has found this ship yet.

Well, another day another dollar I guess. I was really nervous that Timmy and I weren't going to do well in the puzzle challenge because puzzles aren't my strongest challenges, but we were able to pull it out once again and save ourselves. I am starting to get a little nervous about consistently getting 4th or 5th because we are still some of the only players in the game who have not talked to anyone but ourselves. Hopefully we are still early enough in the game that we can make connections with people down the line, but the more time I waste just sitting around the more nervous it makes me. I would never throw a challenge because lord knows that I love having immunity, but if we don't place in the top 3 for the next challenge we're gonna have to figure something out. Timmy is great but you can't win this game just by having one friend and one friend only.

So I had thought that the people from last round would stick together, but apparently some people are voting for Matt? I dont mind much, I’m taking a Sandra-esque “I’m happy to vote whoever as long as it aint me approach.” Might stop me over strategising

- - - - -

All that stuff about being Sandra this season? forget it. I’m back on my bullshit. Nehe wants an alliance with me, doodle, corey, and devon. But apart from Nehe I have barely talked to any of those guys. So im gonna try and make a counter alliance of Me Matt Ian Chloe Willow and maybe Cullan? If I tell them whats going on they might join me and vote out Nehe, or maybe doodles the better play?

- - - - -

Nevermind the nevermind all these people are like “Oh? A counter alliance to protect myself from an alliance without me? Nah i’m good, getting voted out is fun!” So screw them Im voting matt, see ya suckers.

Hello Did I mention last time that I’m ready for this weird twist to be over and for us to be normal tribes? Either way it felt nice to win and I’m glad I don’t have to go back to that warzone, but at the same time, I worry if we stay out of it too long we won’t have made any allies or friends through a tribal and that could be dangerous moving forward to a swap, maybe if we stay as signs for much longer I’ll mention that to maynor and see how he feels about throwing one hm

Top six is great top three is better but like....I have a feeling it’s the wrong six to be in rn. Those bottom six get to talk and strategize. None of that happens here in the oasis zzzzz I was thankful to get to talk to Kait twice that part was rlly good. Nehe and I had a little bit of a talk. Thomas is SO BORING ATO TALK TO tho hsjshdjd I was excited to meet someone new but omfg. He was like ‘I study math’ and I was like ‘omg I could never’ and he was like ‘well I can !’ PLS LOL So I’m kind of dying here but maybe it’s better to be safe. I’m just scared the game is moving without me. Idk I guess it’s early for that.

I think I forgot to write a confessional this round so far so...WHY DO WE ALWAYS GET 4th!! I know it’s only been 2 challenges but still. I usually hate social games but I’m dying to talk to at least someone who isn’t trace. Don’t get me wrong, he’s great, but this game is so boring so far just because I can’t talk to anyone. That’s really going to screw me over in the long run. At least if you fuck up in challenges you get to talk to people. It’ll make it easier for me to get voted off since I’ll have no connections so I’ll need to work my ass off if that time comes. Fuck.

fuck these bitches.   to start off,  i lost immunity by less than 2 seconds which SUCKS.  thought i had a decent time but i guess not Back in the warzone, theres a few people i was here with last time, including Ian, Stephen and Cullan which is nice.  Willow and Chloe are back too, but we didnt speak last time so i made sure we spoke more frequently this time.  Basically a group of Devon, Taylor, Corey and Nehe.  Stephen W let me know this was going on and he didnt want it to happen. So i started putting forth effort into targeting taylor, but then it made more sense to go for nehe because he is also the other solo in this game.   Now on PAPER it would make sense for me and Nehe to work together and have each other's back but clearly he doesnt care lol.  So i focused my attention to the people that seem like they really do wanna keep me (Stephen, Ian, Cullan, Willow, and Chloe).  I made my rounds, multiple rounds tbh and tried to make my best sales pitch to them.  Stephen, Cullan, Ian seem all 100 with me and im like 60% sure willow wants to keep me, but her responses are so delayed that i cant really get a good read.  Chloe is the biggest question mark for me just because its late for her and shes starting another org and has assignments to work on.  I want to believe that she would keep me because i expressed a lot of interest in working with her in this game.   As of now its 9:40pm which means 20 mins till my fate is determined.  I would like to think the 6  person group i got together can stick with me and keep me in the game, but i really dont know anymore.   I wouldnt be shocked if i left 9-1 tbh.  these people dont wanna play the game this early or work with me when i can easily be an extra number for any pair in this game.  I hope to god i stay because its been such a different experience and a new world for orgs, and i wanna stay and fight.  so fingers crossed i guess

It is 10 minutes to tribal and im nervous to see what happens. This 2 person tribe twist is really weird. I want to more people. I just hope is someone i havent really talked to. Hopefully the next challenge is something that me and Renee can be good at.

Okay so we formed an alliance named The Pact which is basically a temporary alliance for warzone where the trick is to throw immunity, go there together, and get someone who isn't us, outta the game. It was created by Nehe and involves him, taylor, stephen, devon and I. Am I honestly going to THROW IMMUNITY? idk. I don't trust taylor whole heartedly But I would like to work w him for some time. I have had info coming back to me making it seem as though he genuinely likes me so! kfnskdlgdslk anyways. Tonight, the vote is matt. I am terrified if it isn't. xoxo, gossip girl.

Behind the scenes of the vote last round that sent Matt packing, I was informed by Stephen that Doodle(Taylor) has been making alliances all over town.  That lets me know he is not a long term pro Ian player, conversely Stephen has won a lot of my favor.  I took that knowledge to Willow, as someone else that is supposed to be "working with" Doodle ka boodle I felt that she needed to be "generally aware".  I wish I would have also shared with Devon that knowledge but I didn't.  Doodle can think he is running the Warzone, I'll be quietly letting people know exactly what he is. A fake. A fraud. A man building himself up to be burnt and burnt bad.  I knew what he was from the moment he pm'd me with "omg lets be long term allies I hate tiktok too", buddy you can do the heavy lifting for now, I'll vote you out the second you stop playing in MY interest.  The trap I think so many TS players fall into is that they begin to think they're playing a single player game, you're not the only one with friends.

[yumenosakiacademy]

metr0con 2019 friday diary

Cosplayed/breakfast/snack: same as thursday diary

For future me only. preferred that you dont read this, thanks. 

Okay so we arrived at like, 10:23 or abt that time so i had some time before my first panel so i just kinda walked around. i dont think anything happened around that time, sorry. my memory of today is a lil bit hazy at parts. but while on the escalator, i looked over at registration n saw creeper print and a yellow crown n the person rly looked like king gavin n i openly Gasped but i couldnt get to them obviously but i was like gjhnsmjgh hh.

then, i went to the yoi panel! uhm.. not much to comment on for this panel, sorry. there was a viktor, yuri, and yurio! i remember there was a personality swap ask and for part of the panel, they all had switched jackets because of a dare.

next was the oh-shc panel! the honey was rly cute n gave a lot of hugs to a lot of the audience members n they were such sute hugs gjhnsm.. like the ones where u semi-leap at a person n hug em w slight movement it was so cute. kyoya said his entire budget book he brought was all for tamaki’s expenses and tamaki proposed to haruhi as a dare but earlier in the panel he was imagining outloud him n haruhi’s wedding gjhnsm

after that, i couldve went to the grav!ity falls panel or the bn-ha one, but since the bn-ha one was in the same room as the previous two, i just decided to stay in my seat for that one. the todoroki n kirishima came in late w starbucks which todoroki says was paid for by endeavor bc he had his dad’s credit card n he actually gave out 2 fake paper credit cards to ppl. aizawa got asked what the dumbest thing he’s gotten asked by one of his students n he said it was “whats your quirk, aizawa?” n todoroki said “it’s not ‘is mayonaise an instrument’? then there was other stuff n they played Sentences and i suggested the scenario “furry convention” after someone suggested todoroki and izuku. ALSO!!! i won the raffle for a bn-ha poster! it was drawn by the uraraka that was one of the panelists n it looks so good ;w; dunno where im gonna put it.. but as my first fanmade print (that’s not my hs wall scroll, which was officially licensed), ill cherish it.

after that i had time to walk! i saw a bunch of id0lish cosplayers! the id0lish7 ones in the dream journey outfits n the 2 trigger members i saw were in similar outfits? i forgot the name for them. anyway! i saw a gentaro n took their pic n they were like “i hav a dice n ramuda somewhere around here.. we’re fl!ng posse” so i wndered around the dealers room n eventually found the dice n ramuda together n took their pic too! thn i kept wanderin n i!! found the king gavin n i was like “are you cosplaying king gavin” n they were like “yea!” n i was!! so happy!!! n they turned to their friend n they were like “see you shouldve stayed in costume! [turns 2 me] they were mad k!ng ryan up until a lil while ago; they changed” but anyway i took their pic n they were talking abt how it feels kinda odd to come to terms w the fact theyre cosplaying minecraft n how they saw a minecraft person earlier n thought abt talking to them but it’s different bc it’s ach!evement hunter so they dont kno the full picture. i saw a corrin w arei button!! which was exciting. also met a nico who said they were gonna b arashi that day but didnt wanna contour but theyre gonna b her tomorrow!! DURING THIS TIME i also saw an adachi body pillow at an artist’s booth n im.. gjhnskm....... i wanted it...... i later found out it was $60 tho so. ;w; i met a sougo n tamaki n i asked if i could take their pic n they said yea, just give em a sec, n the sougo was like “r u cosplayin tsukasa??” n i said yep n they were like do u wanna b in our mv?” n i thought it was a whole event thing n i was like “oh. id hav to check my schedule i might b busy but” n they were talking abt how we (me, the luka next to them, n the kaito next to luka) would just do like steps to the side by following sougos lead n i was confused n repeated myself but the sougo was like “oh, no no it’s right now” n so i did that w them while the tamaki filmed n unfortunately i 4got to ask their instagrams so idk where the vid is but w/e. the sougo told me abt an id0lish meetup at 5 pm, too, out on the docks. 

the h!veswap panel was p funny! an eridan n feferi in the audience were also entertaining, esp during the improve games. i remember someone asked lanque “what r ur fashion tips?” n lanque was like “...Dont Bother” n joey was confused by troll stuff n i asked daraya what her fav punk band was n she was like “we only listen to the grubbles. have u heard em?” n i was like “i.. actually havent heard the full album yet so i guess not?” but as im typing this i think i actually have?/ oops. anyway a lot happened but it’s rly hate so im gonna.... move on. im typing this paragraph last bc i 4got to type it lmao.

a ruby and dia complimented my nails! then i saw a doppo!! they were apparently the reo i took a pic of yesterday. they said their jakurai was still getting ready. 

i tried to go to the grav!ty falls party but it was just one girl as mabel making the audience do games for prizes that were rly boring like decoding n stuff so i left after abt 15 minutes n went walking again. i had 2 hrs to walk now.

i went downstairs after walkina round the dealers room n there was!! a bloody banquet rei and koga!!! they were so pretty.. i was intimidated kinda but i managed to approach them n we talked abt rei’s rei itabag n koga’s goro itabag n rei said they once spent $150 dollars in rei merch in one sitting on yahoo auctions whoa. they were rly cool tho! we talked for a few minutes. later, i also saw another hypm!c group of MTR + ramuda n took their pics n the ramuda was like “ur sign omg. wait r u tsukasa??” n i said yep n we got excited abt ES n the jakurai told me theres an ES meetup tomorrow at 1 pm!! unfortunately, i hav a panel (2, actually, but i can only choose 1) that is at that time so idk if ill go... esp since it’ll prob only b a few ppl n im not the type of person to make friends anyway, yknow? ....anyway! the hifumi game me a lil clear heart tin w tiny fake yellow flowers n a piece of paper that said: “thank u, prince/princess! -hifumi [doodle of 2 champagne glasses]” n thats.. so cute. i gave them a lollipop in return. little while later, met another jakurai! i think we also talked abt ens-tars!! cant remember a lot of it tho gomen. then a lil while later, i saw the kakeru cosplayer i had heard abt on twitter! they were manning an art booth. i was like “are you cosplaying kakeru?” n they were like “yea!” n i took their pic n i was like “i didnt think id rly find k!npri cosplayers here aa” n the kakeru went “FINALLY i can use one of these!” n handed me a lil kakeru sticker they drew n i was like “his fumb bg pink jacket.. it makes him look like a Shrimp” n we both laughed n they showed me the k!npri stuff on their table n a joji on the other side of their display that looked like he was behind bars bc the display thingy and a jin hanging from one of the bars. they (the kakeru n the person they were with) were like “we kept seeing you walk by w ur sign n we were like ‘i hope they find leo!’” (both days, bc the other person asked if i was tsukasa yesterday) n i showed them my yug!oh card that’s an obscure reference to a tsukasa cg! n i talked to them a lil bit abt ens-tars but i cant remember a lot gahh!! and while i was standing there, a honoka came up and asked for my photo n i was like “ANOTHER ES FAN??” n i talked to them for a sec n forgot to put up my prop for the photo at first gjhnsm but that was cool!!  oh, the honoka also asked me if i liked anzu n i was like “she’s super cute in the anime”

after that i tried to go to the fru!ts basket panel but im only 6 eps in the remake anime n they had almost all the characters n i didnt understand a lot of the questions bc i hadnt seen much of the show so.. then after only a few minutes of q+a they started up trivis so i left n just walked around the dealers room. it was during this time that my crown fell off (SECOND DAY IN A ROW) n i searched the whole dealers room but couldnt find it?? ghh..

ANYWAY i found another ramuda w a jakurai n the ramuda liked my sign too n they were like “ur tsukasa!” n i went yep n they saw the buttons ns tuff on my bag n all my keychains n they were like ‘oh, sry” n i was like “no no, it’s okay, u can go thru all the keychains on my backpack i hav A Lot” n i pointed out chiaki as my best boy n mika as my 2nd fav n they said they cosplay hakaze. at some point, i played drops on my flip phone i think bc ramuda was saying smth pertaining to drops?? mayb not. but i played it n jakurai was like “oh god i hav to hear it hre too..” (in-character, i think) n i spotted another ramud in the distand n asked them to wtch my stuff while i took the ramudas pic so i went over n the person next to them had an arashi plush!e n we both squealed (i think. i did tho, Loudly.)

after this i just wandered n i danced on the dance floor! chacha slide, cupid shuffle, n time warp iirc! def time warp tho. also to some 80s song n some guy not in cosplay spun me around nt ried to swing dance we me but he was completely leading it n i didnt kno what to do!! after that i saw a tumblr/con friend while on my way to the yoi panel!!

then the yoi panel was actually p funny! a lot of questions abt yurio’s parents being viktor and yuri and yuri n viktor slowdanced to an edd sheeran song n otabek showed off their muscles (like, flexed their arms in their tank top) n yuri kept dramatically thwipping open their rainbow fan esp in responses to gay asks. at one point, someone asked abt yaois n a mom who was attending w their preteen or teen child was like “whats yaoi?” n the ppl behind her were like “i dont wanna b the one to do this..” n ppl told the mom n the mom to their teen/preteen kid was like “what are u watching? where? is it okay? is it on tv?” n the kid was responding to ehr questions but i couldnt hear them gjhnsm. yurio did a dance to a song n after that, we all danced to cupid shuffle n wobble n then i stopped but others did the time warp too. oh! also i answered a trivia question right (”who’s yuri’s best friend?” “pichit”) and got an utapr! keychain/strap! it’s reiji in a glitter thing. none of the other stuff there aside from some yoi straps was my fandoms so i saw utapr! n went for it.

then the bnh-a pj party! ...uh. the original panelists never showed up so random bn-ha cosplayers (and their non-cn.ha-cosplaying friends) tred to host the panel but everythign was hectic and loud n unfocused n a wreck but i noticed a ramuda n a hifumi i hadnt taken a pic of yet in the corner of the room (there were no chairs) so i eventually got annoyed/bored n went over to ask for a pic but ended up asking to sit w them (i walked over, put my sign down, n went “i said Fuck leo rights n higumi was like “that chara is familiar..” n i said leo from ES n they were like “oh i watched p 1 of that” n i was like “ep 2, this unday. stan ryuseitai”) n i ended up talking to them abt hypm!c n cosplay stuff n i talked a bit abt ens-tars and we all agreed that stella n papillion Slap on the new album. n ramuda said they were cosplaying as a prom!sed neverland haracter tomorrow n recommended it to me n i was like “oh im watching fru!ts basket rn tho” n the hifumi said they were too n the ramuda was like “do u kno the horse one in fru!ts basket? My Horse Boyfriend....” (the game. i think that was the name) so i showed them the hypm!c ask blog where they draw some of the charcaters as horses n the other characters as cowboys n the ramuda showed me the pics that r on their swear jar (photshopped pics of kinako w long legs in stockings+heels) n id0lish memes n it was all chill!! i played drops for them on my phone too. someone came over n went “if u can type w those nails, ur a god[dess]” n i said i could w Only my nails n they said i was like a god[dess] hehe. the higumi said they should make a tumblr n i heard them muttering “should i put 14 on here?” n ramuda went “well i mean, you Are 14-” n i went “ur 14?” n they nodded n i asked the ramuda how old They were n they said 14 n i was like “oh my god.. yallre babies..... gjhnsmk im 18.” n the ramuda crawled back a bit n they were like “18??” n the hifumi was like “u look so young tho whoa! rly?” n i was like “yea i look p young.. ive been compared to a freshman b4..... n yea i graduated like 2 months ago” n the hifumi was like “congratulations :o”