#just heard some screamo that melted my face off

[chiomaus]

me when the music has extremely loud parts and extremely quiet parts: 😳😳😳😳😳

[meganshinsou-tm]

Sugarcoated. (m)

↳ chapter five: eri

❧ genre: pro-hero hitoshi, adoptive siblings, happy ending

❧ chapter warnings:

[multi-chap masterlist] [previous chapter - next chapter]

"I'm sorry but why did we take a train earlier if you had a damn vehicle?"

Hitoshi smirked as he pulled the black jeep off the curve and into traffic, then took out his phone and handed it to you. You took it and gave him a look.

"The fuck am I supposed to do with this?"

"Text Shouta for me, tell him we're on our way. And to answer your question, I didn't feel like wasting the gas for such a short trip."

"I guess that makes sense. I didn't take you for such a cautious driver Toshi."

"Well, I can't be breaking the law, I am a pro-hero. Plus, I have precious cargo," he looked at you and winked making a blush cross your face, "Can't let anything happen to those apples!"

Rolling your eyes, you punched the hero in his arm for being such a prick. After texting his father, you placed the phone in the cup holder and crossed your legs in the seat that was massive to you. It was nice and warm in the vehicle compared to the chilly temperature outside which only dropped with each hour, and it smelled extremely good, like a clean leather. At first the drive was quiet as the two of you drove out of the city and more into the outskirts. You huffed and puffed, not really content with the silence and Hitoshi could tell.

"If you have music, you can link your phone and play it, I don't mind, you seem a little restless."

The permission was all you needed, quickly taking your phone out you didn't need to ask questions on how to set up the Bluetooth, you were extremely tech savvy. You asked if the hero had a preference in genre but he didn't, apparently he liked everything.

"Okay then, I'll just hit shuffle and you tell me when to stop!"

The hero nodded. Soon music filled the speakers as a song came on, the intro was a mans singing then guitar riffs and heavy drums came in followed by screaming. Shinsou glanced in your direction with a confused look and he laughed.

"I didn't exactly have you pegged as a fan of screamo but it explains a lot."

"I listen to all kinds of genres Toshi, I'm no one trick pony! So yay or nay?"

With a smile the hero shrugged his shoulders and thought before he shook his head 'no'. You giggled and changed the song, you went through multiple artists until one song started to play. You stifled down a squeal and Hitoshi glanced your way.

"Sorry, I can't skip this song Toshi, it would be a sin!"

He laughed and turned it up for you, only to have his ears met with you singing along ... in Korean? Then rapping as you danced in your seat. All he could decipher was "cruisin' like Nemo." He'd go between keeping his eyes on the road and to on you. It was a completely new side that he's never seen and he really loved it. You'd gesture to him, wink, basically just putting on an entire show. The hero couldn't keep a smile off his face or hold back his chuckles.

"Yolo yolo yolo yo, where the party yah? Tangjinjaem tangjinjaem tangjinjaem," you sang out bouncing in the seat.

Once the song was over he let go of the steering wheel, using his knee to drive it, and clapped his hands. You blushed, but not because of embarrassment, if anything you were extremely comfortable acting a complete fool in front of the hero. Smiling, you leaned forward bowing and waving your hand like some pageant queen.

"I'm speechless, can I get an encore later, please!"

"Shut up Toshi, stop teasing!"

"Oh sweetness, you'll know when I'm teasing," he flashed a smug and lazy smile, the kind that made your heart flutter and body heat up.

"Like I said, shut up!" You replied, rolling your eyes and looking out the window a small smile hidden on your face.

The total drive-time from your place to Shouta's was about twenty minutes, you couldn't imagine the commute the pro-hero had to make going back and forth from his teaching job, no wonder he looked so fucking exhausted all the time.

You were immersed in scrolling through your device, giggling at different memes until the jeep came to a soft stop. Your eyes looked up to see you were parked outside of a really cozy and decently sized house. Hitoshi was quick to get out as he walked over to open the door for you, your heart started to race and you felt sick to your stomach.

The hero opened the door and jumped back as he saw your face pale. You sighed and put your face into your lap, hands hanging from the back of your head as you groaned, feet tapping anxiously. Shinsou softly smiled and stepped closer. The jeep was a decent ways up from the ground, you practically had to jump into it with his help before leaving. His hand softly rubbed your back and the free one ran through your (h/c) locks.

"Toshi, I can't do this, I'm going to fuck something up I just know it."

"Listen to me (Y/N), you're making this out to be bigger than it really is. It's just dinner with my father and little sister, letting Eri get a feel for you. From what I've seen today, you two will get along splendidly. You both love sweets, you can both be little pains in the ass and you just so happen to like her favorite k-pop group."

"You know BTS?" Your head popped up, locks of hair cascading and covering your eyes that seemed to sparkle at the mention of the boy band.

"Yes, I thought I recognized that song you danced to earlier. She tries to tell me about them all the time and I have no idea what she's talking about. She speaks this gibberish about a cookie and tea?"

You couldn't help but snort, face falling back into your lap and shoulders shaking from the laughter. Hitoshi knew you were making fun of him but he smiled, happy to see your mood perk back up. His hand cupped your chin and made you look up at him.

"You'll be fine sweetness, I'll be right by your side if you need anything. Just be unapologetically you and the kid will fall in love."

You breathed out your nose and sat up, nodding your head with a determined look. Shinsou chuckled and grabbed your hips to help you out of the tall vehicle, he ushered you to walk up the concrete path to the front door while he grabbed the apples from the backseat. Doing so you psyched yourself up. 

"You've got this (Y/N), it's just a kid. A really, really, important kid, somewhat dangerous kid but still ... just a kid."

"Alright gorgeous, let's get inside, it's starting to fucking freeze out here!"

"Hold my hand," you unconsciously blurted out. A blush crossed your cheeks and you looked at the ground. "Uh – please...hold my hand."

In record time Hitoshi slipped your small hand into his, his long fingers intertwined with yours and he squeezed. You smiled and let out a relieved breath, stress and anxiety instantly melting from your body. He walked you to the door and went to turn the handle making you stop him with a free hand.

"Toshi, don't you fucking knock!"

"Uh – no, this is technically my second home!"

You backed off and rubbed the back of your neck with a sheepish grin, Shinsou laughed and mentioned yet again how cute you were and continued to open the door. Walking in the temperature instantly changed, it felt like a massive blanket was instantly wrapped around you and it was so cozy. The air smelled heavenly, your nose rising up as you inhaled deeply.

"Oh man, that smells so good!"

"Sucking up already?"

A deep and monotone voice made you squeak like a mouse and jump back. Your eyes averted to the direction of the voice and landed on Aizawa. You've seen him before in the media but never in real life. 

His hair was tied back and face cleanly shaven, besides the bags under his eyes he didn't look as dead as you thought. To be his adoptive father, Shouta and Shinsou bared an eerie resemblance with each other, maybe it was just their tired expressions though. 

Hitoshi tugging on your hand made you come back to reality and your feet started following along with him towards the kitchen. It wasn't anything extravagant but it was bigger than your shitty one, your eyes sparkled at the appliances, the double ovens built into the wall, all the counter space! Completely in your own world Shouta quirked a dark brow and looked at his adopted son.

"She okay?"

"Oh yeah, she's perfectly fine. (Y/N)'s a baker, so stuff like kitchens tend to make her go all heart eyes."

"Hmm, Eri should take to her quickly then, especially with those!" Aizawa nodded to the platter of apples Shinsou placed on the counter.

The hero smiled and squeezed your hand as he informed Aizawa how you went out of your way to make them just for this occasion. You rolled your eyes at his praising and bragging. It was flattering but you didn't like to be the center of attention.

"Where is the little turd anyway?" Shinsou asked. Aizawa informed him that the girl could be found in her room.

Hitoshi pulled you along out of the kitchen and back by the front door. He removed his shoes and held out his hands still bent over and looked up at you.

"Does he want to take my shoes off?" 

He smirked, getting tired of waiting and took your calf in his hand while the other slid off your shoe and switched to do so with the opposite side. You could only watch, it's like you were a child. Hitoshi removed the coat you wore over the sweater and removed his own jacket, placing them on a rack then took your hand in his again and lead you upstairs.

"Uh – thanks," you questioned as you walked.

"Sorry, I just have this urge to take care of you."

Pouting your lips and blushing at his words, your heart also soared. After rounding the corner at the top of the stairs the hero lead you down the hall to a door and knocked on it. The pitter patter of feet could be heard running around but no other sound came and the door didn't open. Hitoshi smiled and turned to you, he raised the hand he held to his lips and kissed the back of it before letting go and pinched your cheek making you giggle. 

The hero thought of how difficult these next three months would be, having to divide his attention between two of the cutest faces.

"Give me a sec?"

You nodded as he opened the door slowly and crept in, you walked in but leaned against the door frame watching the purple haired man closely. No little girl was seen and Hitoshi rummaged through the room, first flinging back the covers of the bed, dramatically opening the doors of the closet, even looking inside of the tiny dresser drawers. It didn't take long to realize he knew exactly where the girl was but he was playing along with her game.

"Now where could she be," he teased with a smug grin.

Slowly he crept by a little tent that was sat up in the corner, stringed lights adorned it along with decorative butterflies. The room was 100% girl, pink and sweet, pure and innocent. 

The massive hero dropped to his hands and knees as he flung open the drapes of the tent but there was still no girl in sight. All of a sudden a precious giggle could be heard, making both your heads snap in the direction it came from. The purple curtains that hung in front of a white painted window could be seen swaying and a flash of white hair shimmered. Hitoshi got back up to his feet and walked towards them, purposefully standing in front of them and still looking around as he scratched his scalp and faked being oblivious.

"Hmm, well I guess if she isn't here then that must mean more candy apples for us!"

He started to walk back towards the door a grin on his face as he held up three fingers and counted down. Right when his last finger folded, a small girl emerged from behind the curtains and to him, clinging to his leg and pleading.

"Please, please Sou-Sou! I've been good at school all week!"

Your heart melted at the little girl, she was stunning. Her ruby eyes sparkled as the looked up to the lavenderette. Her hair was an ice white and shined as bright as her eyes and her little horn was adorable. You looked at Hitoshi's face, he beamed down at his sister, you could tell he adored her. His arms reached down and under her little arms as he hoisted her up and onto his hip. His fingers tickled her sides making a contagious laugh escape from her chest.

"You're such a pain, you know that? Why can't I ever come home to a nice hug, I work too much and the last thing I want to do is exert all my energy into finding your little butt!"

"But you're the best at hide and seek, daddy always end up napping when I seek him out."

You snickered to yourself, imaging this precious ray of sunshine running around the house searching for Aizawa only to find him knocked out underneath a coffee table. The little girl looked in your direction, making you quiet down instantly and clam up. If anything this occasion was the equivalent to meeting a significant others parents for the first time, but in your case it was more than that. This little girl was obviously the center of Hitoshi's universe, even if he tried to play it off and it only put more pressure on you. You swallowed harshly and waved to the little girl.

"Eri, this is (Y/N), she's a very good friend of mine and she may be babysitting you while you stay with at my house."

The little girl smiled, which shocked you. 

She cupped a hand over her brothers ear, whispering something that wasn't meant for you to hear obviously. Shinsou's purple hues looked at you, making your heart beat fast as he chuckled and smiled. Eri pulled back and looked at him waiting for something.

"No Eri, not yet at least."

Her little hand touched his cheek and they looked at each other briefly before Hitoshi placed her back on the floor and she skipped over to you and looked up. You crouched down to her level and she held out a small hand, you glanced at Hitoshi and he mouthed a "go ahead". You took her tiny hand in yours and she smiled, giving you the best handshake she could and making you smile.

"Ooh, you have a pretty smile," the little girl cheered as she put her thumbs and index fingers to her cheeks smiling as big as she could.

You giggled. "You have a very pretty smile too Eri! It's so bright," you replied and returned the cute gesture.

The little girl giggled. Her red eyes fell low and you followed her gaze. As your hands extended the sleeves of your sweater fell and exposed your lightly bruised wrists. Your eyes widened and looked at Hitoshi once more, he only softly smiled back and walked towards the two of you, crouching next to Eri as you had done. The little girl looked at him and once again cupped his ear to speak to him. He let out a huff of air through his nose and nodded. 

Eri turned to face you again, putting her hands together and looked at you nervously.

"Did someone hurt you (Y/N)?"

"Uh – sort of but I'm okay." You rubbed the back of your neck, looking at the ground, she couldn't possibly understand that even though your skin was bruised, it was your emotional health that actually hurt since the incident.

"Can I touch them?"

You pursed your lips together and looked at Eri's face. Her ruby orbs caught yours, you instantly relaxed for some reason as if her eyes soothed and reassured you. 

Licking your dry lips with a nod you reached out your hands to the little girl. She softly smiled and placed her small hands and fingers on the tarnished skin. Once she made contact you could feel a warm and soothing sensation throughout your entire body and mind, as if someone were hugging you. Eyes looking down you could see the purple turned yellow marks slowly dissipating underneath the multiple layers of skin. Your jaw dropped with a gasp.

Hitoshi smiled and rubbed his sisters back as she healed you, proud of her kind heart. Once the skin was back to its all-over (s/c) tone, her hands rose and fell back to her sides. You looked in awe and rubbed each wrist, amazed. A tear threatened to build up and escape but you fought it back and smiled at the little girl.

"There, now you really are okay."

You blinked at the little girl. For a six year old she was very perceptive. 

Hitoshi ruffled her white hair and he stood back up to his feet, you followed and smiled at him. He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled back then look between you and Eri.

"Alright cuties, whose ready to get their butt kicked at UNO?"

"You speak as if you'll be the one emerging victorious Toshi," you replied.

Shrugging his shoulders he chuckled and motioned towards the door. You extended your hand to him and he went to reach for it, only to be cheated when Eri's small hand clasped around yours before him. He made a face and grunted in frustration making you laugh. 

Eri smiled and paid no attention to the glare her older brother threw in her direction, she only made a cute little "hmph" and dragged you out of the room. You looked at him apologetically and he smirked walking closely behind the two of you and shoving his hands in his pockets and mumbled out only for you to hear.

"Cock blocked by my own sister!"

[janavoadalov]

Warming Up A Long Loner Heart, Ophidian Or Human

Janavo X Reader, Hurt/Comfort and fluff. A little bit of angst peppered in here and there. SFW, save for some tasteful make-out descriptions.

It is...long. Like, almost 4000 words. So, bloop, under a Read More.

It has been a few weeks since that mysterious encounter with that supposed “troll” you have found in the woods at a Halloween night. Not that you don’t believe his words, but...perhaps one of those candies you had ended up buzzing up your senses a bit, because you know...holidays and sketchy substances. Perhaps something you drank that night? Eh. That part of your mind insists on denying that the encounter ever happened. 

However that little piece of paper with his phone number that you oh-so-dearly kept on your drawer acts as a counterpoint. Fuck! You just remembered. Ever since that night, you never even tried to contact him. Not only because of laziness, but also that impending fear of your phone not being able to call that number. Not to mention that you’re not just talking with your regular run-off-the-mill human- but a literal alien. And a sexy one at that. Regardless, it every once in a while fills your heart with a sharp pang of guilt and neediness every time you imagine those big reptilian eyes of his gazing into yours, tongue flicking out his lips to sense every emotion of yours simply by your scent.

It gets to a point in which those thoughts are what forces you out of your bed and makes you walk up to your drawer and snatch out the paper slip with Jana...Janavo’s number in it. Was it Janavo? or Javano? Who cares, he’ll say it when he greets you. Or so you hope. Sitting down at your bed’s edge, you hesitantly hold up your phone and type in the number sequences and dial up. 

*beep...beep...beep...*

Fuck, is it really going to take that long? Will you have to literally go all the way back to the woods to yell his name at that...cave-den of his? Where does that guy even live in to begin with? You sigh and wait some more for him to answer, your foot tapping at the bedroom floor nervously. Tap, tap, tap...

When you, all of a sudden, notice the beeping stop. A deep, husky voice attends you, the closeness of his mouth to the microphone making the audio sound whispery. You shiver and feel butterflies in your stomach, body weakening and your voice trembles.

“Hello? Janavo here. Who is calling?”

Oh, okay, it’s not Javano then. You cough and try your best to answer him without stuttering. That would not be a good way to have your first formal interaction with that cutie, huh?

“Uh...hello, Mr. Janavo! I’m that little human you, uhm, met that Halloween night. You gave me your, uh, number, remember?”

Your heart was pounding loudly in your chest. Holy fuck. You’re talking to that big handsome alien guy you met. With your hardest efforts, you attempt to stop yourself from audibly breathing heavily in both anxiety and excitement.

Recognizing your voice, his tone becomes lighter and softer, and his speech becomes mixed with a happy, high-pitched trill from his chest. That was one of the cutest sounds you’ve ever heard, the audible representation of a smile. It makes you giggle a bit and your heart feels like it just melted.

“Awwww. Hello there, little one. I have been waiting for you to call for so long...sorry about my sudden disappearance that night...was scared someone had seen me.”

No! He doesn’t need to apologize for anything! He just did what you too would do it you were an 8-foot tall alien. Out of nowhere, you feel little droplets of guilt bead into your consciousness. Perhaps you shouldn’t have gotten upset at him leaving you like that. Fuck. You’re feeling shitty now.

“I-I understand! No need to say sorry for it! You just did what was needed” 

He senses the sadness in your voice and his voice softens even more. Perhaps you ended up making him feel worried about you..

“Are you okay, little one? You don’t sound so jolly. Do you need any help, or advice? Or just, you know, someone to distract yourself from it?”

You gulp. The last thing you would expect from an alien is for one of them to be so compassionate, like Janavo was at that exact moment. It makes your face flush a bit, and you can’t help but stutter.

“Y-yeah...I’ve been feeling, uh, very...um, lonely. It has been a few weeks since my parents have last visited me...they’re often so occupied with their businesses and errands, and no one else in here can come and give me company...so I could say that adulthood has been really harsh on me for the last few years...”

You truly have been noticing a sharp decline on your mental and social stability ever since you were deemed an adult by your family. Having to live in your own house, pay your own taxes, with the previous support of your parents slowly becoming lost in the fog of the past, makes you feel responsible and independent, but also lonely, as you have no partner to come and spend time with you, nor a group of friends to go on trips or dates with, as your personality is quite...eccentric, to say the least. It’s not everyone who just has a bunch of edgy paraphernalia on their closet and wears them to celebrate the spooky season.

Thinking about this, and remembering your recent meet-up with Janavo in the woods, leads your mind to a realization, that he is most likely what was missing from your life. That missing puzzle piece in your psyche. A loving, understanding individual who is more than eager to help you out and give you the attention you need. 

A concerned “hello?” snaps you out of your musings about your life and you, startled, apologize from the silence. The feelings overwhelm you and you sense yourself starting to break into tears. Some self-control would really come in handy right now. But bam, you lost it. Now you’re just a sobbing mess on the phone with a guy who you met once and you think of as a perfect boyfriend for your insecure ass. Shame washes over you, but you can’t do anything at the moment. You swear you could hear a sad little whine from Janavo as he listens to your emotional breakdown, unsure on how to help you.

“Little one...Shhh...Shhhh...It will all be okay. Wipe those tears. Take a deep breath. Would you like to have me come over? I am not sure on how to comfort you too well over a cellphone.”

He talks to you in a low, extremely worried tone. Almost as if you were going to make him cry too. Your thoughts manage to calm down a tad by hearing his voice and the idea of having Janavo come and see you in person both delights you and scares you, having in question the absolutely trainwreck of a mental state that you are in as of now. However your feelings speak louder than your logic and you wail a little “yes...please...” over the phone for him. 

He gently shoos away your stress and asks you for your address, soon hanging up afterwards. Shouldn’t take too long for him to come. He lives near your neighbourhood, after all, at some sort of shelter at the local woods. Maybe if he manages to go through the outskirts of this town, he can go pretty much unnoticed, even better knowing how it’s evening. People are already going inside their homes and all. Your feelings start to re-stabilize themselves until you hear loud thundering from the outside. That sound is like the doors of hell opening.

Fucking. Shit. It’s going to rain.

The thought of being stuck inside your house, crying yourself to sleep as the sound of rain acts as the soundtrack for your sadness comes off as way worse and suffocating when you are actually feeling that at the moment and not simply some mental image you come across while listening to screamo albums. The first raindrops hit the roof and you get worried for your lov-ahem, friend. Does he even have an umbrella? Isn’t he going to get, like, sopping wet? What about a cold? Is his body built to endure that? So many questions come to mind. 

Barely a few seconds after your hurricane of thoughts, the rain becomes heavier and heavier. from a peaceful shower to a vicious hiss of water and wind hitting your ceiling. Your windows are open and the curtains dance around from the storm. Forcing your body to get up, you soon close them, avoiding anyone from peeking at you and also your belongings from being drenched. It feels like this weather is only going to get worse. Throwing yourself at your bed, you grab your blankets and wrap yourself up in them while letting out a loud sob. Oh, how you needed him to arrive, so quick...you could feel yourself being dragged down by your anxiety again. And it’s not something you want to deal with alone.

The thundering outside nearly deafens you and makes the lights in your house flicker. He still isn’t there. Pulling up your blinds a bit, you can tell that not a lot of people are outside. The streetlights are on, but do little to properly illuminate the surroundings. At that moment, even a flashlight could do better. Creating those little observations and comments in your brain help diverge your consciousness from the dread and highly unlikely scenarios in your brain.

Minute after minute passes, and every second without hearing the doorbell ring burns away at your patience like a hot rod through your forehead. You tremble underneath the sheets, slowly letting go of the tiny remains of self-control you have left. Tears leak out of your eyes and leave dark stains on your pillow. 

Almost an hour after Janavo announced his departure, and no signals of his presence. You’re sleepy and your eyes are swollen and sore. Holding onto a nearby cushion, you bury your head into it, moaning out in a forlorn, raspy voice. 

“Janavo...”

At that point, you were ready to just snap into an unconscious state. Too much mental strain to be dealt with for such a young person like you. But, all out of a sudden, the sound you hear reverbs through your ears like a heavenly chime. 

Ding-dong!~

It’s him! He finally arrived...after that whole ride. You scream his name out loud. Agitation spreads through your whole body and thrusts you out of your bed. Unlocking the door, you see the figure you were longing for so much.

There stood, Janavo Adalov, holding above his head an enormous trash can lid, drops of rain falling in top of it and rolling off into the ground. Where did he even get that from? You don’t even bother thinking about answers. His body seems mostly dry, apart from his tail, boots and a little bit of his pants. Worry is visible on his eyes, glancing at you with wide pupils. His hair, from what you can see, is messy, while his head is mostly covered by his hood.

“Oh, my doll. I apologize so much from leaving you suffering like this. I wish I could have gotten here sooner...”

He drops the soaked lid to the side, wags his tail to get rid of the excessive water, and you gently call him into your home, watching him have to literally duck to get past the door thanks to his large size. As you both get into the living room, he kneels down and opens up his arms invitingly. Without a second thought, you wrap your own around his neck, and you feel him close his around your body, locking you both in a warm embrace. Quiet little sniffles come from you, and Janavo attempts to be reassuring by giving your back a couple light taps. Your head and hands were buried on the fabric of his hoodie, the soft texture soothing your senses. At this point you wish this moment would never end, being exactly what you’ve been desiring for years.

The two of you stay interlocked like that until you loosen your grip on him, letting him free. You wipe your face and nose with your sweater sleeve, and Janavo stands up and follows you as you guide him to your room. Some colorful decorations here and there seem to entice him, as he keeps his focus on them for quite a long time. 

You throw yourself on the sheets and watch your visitor sit on the edge of your bed before laying back and turning his face towards you. His eyes still have that telltale expression of concern, but less visibly now than before. His mouth is curled up into a smile at the sight of you so close to him and his sharp snaggle tooth is visible prodding underneath his top lip. Who knew such a big guy could be so adorable. 

Getting closer to him, you lay your head on his chest. Janavo starts to purr loudly when he notices, and places one of his hands on your hair, gently playing around with the locks. His sharp nails every once in a while scrape your scalp, making you shiver. You really needed this. A sigh comes from you and you reach out to hold his other hand.

“It will all be okay, sweetheart. I’ll stay here for as long as you want, or need.”

His eyes are closed, probably that prowl he went on for you was just as exhausting for him as it was for you as you waited for his arrival. You wouldn’t mind having him sleep with you, despite how big he was. Having him live with you, preferably forever, wouldn’t be something you’d mind either, if it wasn’t in reality your deepest wish...

Excusing yourself for a moment, you get off the bed, switching off the lights to add more to that precious moment. When you return, he had removed his boots and curled up into your bed, almost falling asleep. Poor guy. Throwing yourself by his side, his arms stretch out and grab you, bringing you close to his chest again. Oh, that purr! You could listen to it forever. 

“I’m pretty new here...as you may know, I’m not from this land. I’ve left my home planet, Alternia, when I was around 9 sweeps or so. Much younger than I am now. I’ve been sent to fight to dominate other lands in space with brutality. But I just could not do that ordeal. After one or two sweeps...I hijacked a ship and fled to any planet I could stumble upon. That planet was Earth. My ship fell on water and I had to swim my way to the shore. That’s how, over time, I found my home. This huge congregation of woods...where no one can find me. I’ve seen people strolling around that part of town, trying to find my den, thinking I was some sort of cryptid. For years, like you, I’ve felt alone and excluded from all forms of human interaction. I was seen as abominable. Eldritch. Until that night...I felt understood. “

So...he is just like you? A socially isolated hermit with no friends who just wants someone to love and care for? Your heart feels heavy, after he has told you his story his purring stops and his breathing becomes heavier. His irises glow a dim cyan as he turns you around to stare at your face. Small beads of cerulean start forming on his eye and he lets go of you to pull his hood over his eyes. It’s his turn to let those nasty feelings out, you see.

“I’m so sorry if I’m burdening you, little one...You just felt so right to me...Someone that knew how it felt to be left in the dust...to be different...”

Of course not! He’s not burdening you at all. Instead, it feels like the complete opposite. You were the one who kept whimpering for help out of nowhere in the middle of a phone call. But you just couldn’t help it. Neither could he. You try to calm his feelings by giving his horns a light caress. Seems like the less...awkward way to help him out. His hold on the hood loosens, and he makes a sound of relief, lifting his head slightly. Underneath his thick bangs of hair, you could spot his face flushed cobalt, and his blue tears dribbling from his eyes. Under your touch, he seems to relax completely. Does he really trust you that much in such a short period of time?

“Look, Janavo, I could literally not stop thinking about you ever since we met. You are what’s missing from my life. Do you want to help me become one, dear? Come stay with me for as long as time allows?”

His hands pull away the hair from his eyes and he gazes at you with big, melancholic pupils, still watery from his brief crying session. Sobbing quietly, his mouth slowly bares his teeth as he grins. He just looks so cute that way. Like an enormous puppy...or kitten. Kind of a mixture of the two. 

A pair of hands come and pull you down, aligning your faces together. They settle on your waist, a gentle cyan glow making the atmosphere romantic and placid together with the still-roaring storm outside. You lay your palm on his chest. There come the purrs again. 

“I’d be honoured to do so, doll...with all of my pleasure.”

Your heart explodes and you rub your forehead with Janavo’s. He sticks his tongue out goofily, as if trying to lick your face. You massage his ears a bit, which twitch at the heat from your hand. Those piercings of his seem pretty heavy. His eyes blink slowly as they gaze endearingly at you. A chuckle comes from his mouth, and his warm breath reminds you of how close your lips are to his.

Suddenly...you feel the urge to kiss him. Right when you had that idea flash through your mind, Jan’s hands go up your body to grip your shoulders, and gently pushes his head forwards to press his lips against yours. His lips are soft and warm, and the added texture of his stubble and mustache ends up tickling you a bit, but nothing that disturbs you at a large degree. You can feel him turn his head around a bit to deepen the kiss, purring loudly in your mouth. His sharp fangs poke at the edges of your mouth and nearly draw blood. 

Your hands that were previously holding his ears move to hold his jaw, in an attempt to let yourself take some control of the situation. Janavo lets out a breathy moan and manages to slip his tongue into your mouth, and pulls your body closer to his, to the point where you could feel his chest rumble through his hoodie. His tongue is bifid and has a pair of beads on its surface, which you feel clink against your teeth every once in a while as he explores the intricacies of your mouth. It’s his first kiss with a human being, after all. And he was already so damn good at it. At least through your eyes, since you’ve never kissed anyone before. Despite how large and powerful he was, he was strangely gentle.

Ecstasy overtook your senses as he moaned again, eyes closing and darkening the scene, arms wrapping around your torso and running up and down the fabric of your sweater. You decided to join in with your tongue, and you manage to slide yours inside his own mouth. This makes his purrs evolve into trills as your tongues run along each other and cause drool to leak from the corner of his mouth. You’re loving this so much. 

After what seemed like almost two hours of heaven, Janavo pulls away and licks his lips from the mess made by you two fooling around. Aw, was it just over like that? Your hands let go of his face as you make a little sad sound. In an attempt to satisfy you some more, he places his mouth on your neck and sinks his fangs into your skin slightly. It comes off as unexpected to you, and you gasp. But it feels so good. You don’t want it to end too soon. He suckles at your neck noisily, making you pant. A decent amount of time of that treatment ends in him pulling away and admiring the nice mark he left, and you would make every effort possible to show it off to people. 

The whole lovey-dovey stuff you two engaged in was undoubtedly tiring. You just feel like sleeping at the moment. And, from what you can tell from your friend-turned-lover’s body language, so is he. You sit on your bed and watch him stretch his back and arms while yawning. Holy fuck, those teeth. You really want them sunken into your flesh again any time soon. 

The rain outside has calmed down, from a merciless storm to a rather placid drizzle. Pulling up your sheets, you prepare yourself to finally rest after this whole ride. Not before you lift them and allow Janavo to slither underneath and knead the mattress below him. Sluggishly, he got comfy on his spot of the bed and reached his neck out to give your forehead a soft, sweet kiss.

“I think it’s safe to say this now, but...I love you, Jan.”

His tail curls behind you, and he reaches out to pull you into a tight embrace. You bury your face on the crook of his neck, and hear him purr again. It’s obvious how happy he is to be with you, with how much he loves having physical contact and making the whole live-in decision in just one night. Clearly you two are going to be incredibly happy together.

“I love you too, doll, all I have to do is move my stuff tomorrow morning from the forest den to here and we will be all set.”

Your brain still is so boggled while trying to process all of the events this afternoon. That huge monstrous guy you met in the woods once, who you first thought would maul you to pieces? And who turned out to be a huge softie in a tough shell? He’s going to live with you now. And what a better way to celebrate than with having him sleep with you for the first night? And the next one, and the next one, and the next one...creating so many good memories and feelings.

“Sweet dreams, little one.”

It doesn’t take too long for the both of you to drift off into a peaceful night’s sleep, to the calm sounds of each other’s breathing and the soft rain outside.

[measuringlife]

Measuring Me: An Ode to My Love of Music

This Bob Marley quote has always resonated with me: “One good thing about music. When it hits you, you feel no pain.”

I must confess I am not musical. I can’t carry a tune, play an instrument, or read music of any sort. I think because I am not personally musical, I deeply appreciate music. I feel music with every fiber of my being. Music is my drug of choice.

It calms me down.

It picks me up.

It comforts me.

It’s something I can lose myself in.

I really started my love affair with music during my tween years, but those were all the years of the end of my parent’s marriage and my Dad moving out. Music was a good escape. I then turned to music to help ease the heartbreak of unrequited love in college. Music to help calm the stress of grad school. Music is where I turned for comfort after my Dad died. Music kept me going when I first running and continued to motivate me through thousands of miles over the years. Music helps me focus on work in the office or make a tedious task more enjoyable. Music drives the choreography of BODYPUMP and other Les Mills workouts.

I both hate and love how accessible music is in this day and age. I’m actually listening to the best of Broadway from Amazon Music as I type this thanks to yelling for Alexa to play “showtunes” for me. I remember creating my Pandora account in August 2005 and thinking WOW! Actually at one point in my life just after grad school circa 2008 the most expensive thing I owned (aside from my car) was my iTunes library. I would argue in my early high school years the most expensive thing I owned was my cd collection. For the record I still have all my CDs - I’ve just removed almost all the jewel cases and keep them in books or on a spindle. I also have ALL my early iTunes music saved to 2 different iPods.

Thinking back I remember certain songs from my childhood like “Kokomo” by the Beach Boys or “I would do anything for love” by Meatloaf or “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen or various broadway showtunes ranging from Jesus Christ Superstar to Phantom on the Opera to Grease and Rocky Horror. My Dad and my Aunt who were my stronger early musical influences had a penchant for Andrew Loyd Webber and campy shows! I also remember one of the first CDs our family purchased as a “hits of the 50s-60s” two-disc collection - it has a sad song I loved called “Tell Laura I love her” by Ray Peterson that I particularly loved. Spoiler alert the more heartbreaking the song the more I tend to like it.

CDs gained widespread popularity when I was in junior high school which was perfect for an angsty teen. Some early teen year CDs of the late 90s I loved were Eve6, Bush, Hootie and the Blowfish, Limp Bizkit, Third Eye Blind, and Matchbox 20. I really REALLY loved “Outside” by Staind and Fred Durst, I remember listening to that track from the 1999 Family Values Tour CD on REPEAT. However I also was a total teeny bopper with an eternal flame for Hanson, but also loved all things boys bands like Nsync, BSB, 98 degrees, 5ive, O-Town, and the “fake” boy band 2gether.

I went to my first concert in 2nd grade to see teen pop sensation Debbie Gibson! I didn’t go to another concert until 9th grade when I saw Backstreet Boys. From there I went to concerts as much as my mom would let me. Once I got my license my concert going really picked up. Jones Beach Outdoor Amphitheater was THE venue as a teenager, so many amazing summer concert memories there.

My love of music took another turn in college. Right away I joined the college radio station and all of a sudden had access to all these new artists on the rise. I remember my first semester of college in Fall 2001 getting a cd and small-time merch from this up and coming singer-songwriter who had Connecticut roots. You may have heard of him, his name is John Mayer. I honestly have COUNTLESS bands that I discovered through my college radio days (shout out WQAQ - the soundtrack of Quinnipiac). There is so much music I associate with college that it’s hard to recall when I was first introduced to them - like Dashboard Confessional, Jimmy Eat World, Something Corporate, Fall Out Boy, Yellowcard, Jack Johnson, and Ben Harper to name a few. I also recall listening to quite a bit of “screamo” back then like The Used and Hawthorne Heights. The band I will forever associate with QAQ is the Spill Canvas and they are still of my favorite bands. In fact, I’m seeing them in concert later this month!

I also went to a ton of concerts in college, one band I haven’t mentioned is Incubus. They are also one of my all-time favorites. I saw Incubus a number of times in college, most memorable were two tour stops in 2002. One at the Garden in NYC and one at the Hartford Civic Center. They started the shows playing full blast electric then they changed the vibe of the stage and did a couple of acoustic songs before switching back to full electric. The crazy thing is that so many of their songs work just all acoustic as they do full blast.

Going to concerts was also a great way to discover music through opening acts. I’ve always been a person to get to a show to see the opening act. The all-time best chain of introduction to music was when I went to my first John Mayer show in November 2002. It was the Sunday after Thanksgiving and we all arrived back to college that afternoon with the concert that night. The drive up we listened to John Mayer the whole ride. The venue, the Oakdale Theater in Wallingford CT was small (I just looked it up the capacity was 4,800) and so intimate. Everyone there were passionate John Mayer fans, the opening act had their work cut out for them. Enter: Maroon 5 as the opening act. They melted my face off. They had the most unbelievable energy and hot damn could they shred on guitar. John Mayer even came out before his set to shred with them on one song. My best memory of that set was when Adam Levine covered Nine In Nails “Closer.” Holy hell, still one of the best performances I’ve seen. Ever. Just to be clear the John Mayer show was also amazing, the best one of his I’ve ever gone too because of how small it was I think. However, I walk away from a stellar John Mayer show still buzzing from Maroon 5. I could write a whole blog post of my Maroon 5 fandom in their early days (like how I was part of their “street team” and was invited by their management to go to their first Total Request Live performance because they wanted fans who could sing along to every word in the audience). Anyway back to the chain of amazing artist introduction. October 2003 I was going to NYC for the night to see Maroon 5 and low and behold their opening act was a newcomer named Gavin DeGraw who stole the show, his cover of Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get in On” is yet another top concert memory. I should also note 30 Seconds to Mars opened for Incubus when I saw them in Hartford in 2002. 

Another note from the early 2000s history books, during my college years Kazaa and Limewire were at their height. Plus being on a college ethernet that was not yet “wireless” we were able to log into a campus-wide music portal some smart computer programming major kid set up where you essentially made you music public for others to copy and you were able to search and copy other people’s music. SO MUCH MUSIC. I was particularly obsessed with ripped live versions of songs.

Looking back at the top 10 performances/shows I’ve seen - not including festivals - because that could be its own category. If there is a particularly noteworthy song I’ll note it.

Incubus - 11am acoustic (2002 - Hartford Civic Center)

John Mayer (2002 - Oakdale Theatre)

Maroon 5 - Closer (2002 - Oakdale Theatre)

Third Eye Blind - (2003 - SPB Concert at Quinnipiac - Josh Kelley opened and was awesome)

Gavin DeGraw - Let’s Get it On (2003/2004 - NYC and Hartford - both were amazing)

Spill Canvas - All Hail The Heartbreaker (2004 - The Attic, Hamden CT)

Maroon 5 (2004/2005 at two tiny Long Island venues)

David Cook - Permanent (Night for Hope 2012 - State Theatre, Falls Church VA)

Jimmy Eat World - A Praise Chorus (2017 - Bristow VA)

Hanson - (2017 - The Fillmore - Silver Spring - also 2018 - Wolf Trap they played Yearbook for the first time ever on tour during their String Theory shows)

Top 10 influential albums by a single artist/band listed chronologically - not including any soundtracks, showtunes, or festival albums which each could be its own categories. You may notice there are some artists where I can’t choose one either due to both being amazing or discovering them around the same time and listening to them digitally in a shuffled mix. 

Hanson - Middle of Nowhere (1997)

Third Eye Blind - Third Eye Blind (1997 self-titled debut)

Eve 6  - Eve 6 (1998 self-titled debut)

Incubus - Make Yourself (1999)/Morning View (2001)

John Mayer - Room for Squares (2001)/Any Given Thursday (2003)

Dashboard Confessional - The Swiss Army Romance (2000)/The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most (2001)

Maroon 5 - Songs About Jane (2002)

Gavin DeGraw - Chariot (2003) / Chariot: Stripped (2004)

Spill Canvas - Sunsets and Car Crashes (2004)/One Fell Swoop (2005)

David Cook - Analog Heart (2006)

Honorable mention all of David Cook’s albums from his old band Axium