#just thinking of all the angst from both cass pov and percy pov

[diabeticgirl4]

Another cr1 au I can't get out of my head that I desperately need to read and/or write: basically Cassandra fully rejecting her de Rolo name and status and refusing to lead Whitestone post- saving the city. ur problem now Percy!

Cassandra was not lying and she later stuck to her words when she called herself a Briarwood. As far as she knew, she was the last surviving de Rolo for the five years post her recapture, and with the Briarwoods charming her, torturing her, keeping her under their thumbs for five long years, being a de Rolo wasn't really a choice anymore, was it?

But then when Percy came back, made himself known for the first time in five years, what could've been relief, hope, or even pride at seeing another de Rolo alive after the years, instead she felt nothing but fury. He was alive after all these years, and never thought to make contact? Not only did he leave her for dead, but never once considered her survival? Despite being stuck with the Briarwoods, she still had contacts throughout the city, and not once through the years did someone report back with note of the survival of one Percival de Rolo. But now he comes back, and thinks she should be grateful?

Yes, of course she's relieved by the death of the Briarwoods. She may have considered herself a Briarwood alongside them, but they still made her life near insufferable.

Her brother reappearing into her life, however, after five long years of suffering and then acting like things could go back to normal? Cassandra no longer has a sense of normalcy and has long since abandoned the de Rolo name and lifestyle. What has being a de Rolo done for her, other than having her entire family slaughtered and everything else taken away from her? Being a Briarwood, however, at least ensured her survival with her new "family".

So when Percival states his desire to restore the de Rolo legacy, yet thinks he is not capable of leading the land- what, like she is? She, who no longer claims the de Rolo name, who has not thought of Percival as her brother since he left her for dead all those years ago?

That's fine with her, if he chooses not to have any part in leading Whitestone, but he cannot expect her to lead in his place. She will have no part in leading the lands that helped keep her captive over the years, and will not reclaim the name that was stolen from her and desecrated with only her to witness.

(tl;dr I don't think it was fair for percy to run from + shove the responsibilities of leading Whitestone on cassandra not long after learning of her survival, and I think she has the right to be angry and say "no frick that" and let percy figure it all out himself! Let there be complicated de Rolo sibling feelings, let there be anger and hurt! Gimme that angst!)

[bisexualoftheblade-old]

how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?

okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.

i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself

Shadowhunters:

domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward

Supernatural

- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe

- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT

Bright Sessions

- caleb/adam grisha AU

- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM

- caleb/adam college fluff

Umbrella Acaademy

- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering

- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP

- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb

Percy Jackson

- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai

- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain

- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children

- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3

Penumbra Podcast 

- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren

- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au

- sad juno smut

- final resting place fic go brrrr

Marvel

- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man

- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter

- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing

- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.

- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!

- spideytorch relationship character study

- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)

Six of Crows

- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik

- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time

- request 45/? inej moodboard?

- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?

- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard

- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)

- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat

- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop

- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)

- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang​

- wesper fake dating

- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy

TMA

- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?

- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?

- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it

- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy

- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb

- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23

- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.

- spiral!sasha AU

- extinction martin go brrrrr

- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought

- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control

- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live

- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope

- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence

- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations

- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)

DC Comics

- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,

- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang​

- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus

- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?

- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown

- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?

- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch

- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?

- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once

- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?

- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!

- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??

- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai

- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian

- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)

- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?

- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty

- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM

- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers

- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty

- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!

- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun

- i request damian angst! all of it

- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?

- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu

- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?

Found Family Bingo Prompts

- no powers au

- tunnel

- first day

- join the club

- hurt/comfort

- experiment

- playing favorites

- hold on

- possession

- 10 o’clock

- singing

- road

- snitch

- curfew

- timer

- fantasy au

- zombie au

- dreams

- campfire

- are you okay

- movie night

- games

- scared

Miscellaneous

- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward

- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?

- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me

- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something

- request 23/? roast me

- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️

- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good

- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me

- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈

- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!

- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??

- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose

- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!

- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral

- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.

- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now

- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious

- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls

- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too

- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.

- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious

- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me

- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you

- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.

- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread

- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.

- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?

- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812

- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out

- a feral bbb quote or two?

- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage

- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please

- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?

- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what

- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.

- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?

- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?

[essayofthoughts]

2, 4, 6, 7, 21 :D

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

Honestly, I’m having a lot of fun with my current Critical Role (Campaign 1) fic project which has the WIP title of “Ghost Cass”. The premise of it is simple and comes out in the first chapter so I don’t feel bad about dropping that minor spoiler here:

When Cass and Percy escape the Briarwoods Cass is shot down - she dies - but death isn’t going to stop her helping the last family she has left. Cass lingers as a ghost, haunting and helping her brother.

The whole thing is a lot of fun and lets me get into some really messy thoughts while closely following canon and thus lets me work out basically ALL of my complicated thoughts and feels about Percy and the general de Rolo family tragedy and a lot of the interpersonal dynamics at play in Vox Machina and how they change. It’s gonna be FUN.

... and long. (It’s almost 300 pages already, unfinished. Help meeeee~)

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

Hnnnng. That’s a hard call. Hmm. Okay we’ll go with this:

There, descending the mountains, is a bright spark of flame.

It’s racing toward them beneath the thunderhead, seeming to almost pull the clouds along with it. It descends apace, burning the ashy grey shadegrass in its wake before the rains douse it - bright embers, black soot, bone-pale ash in a trail behind. The stormfront chases just ahead of it, the drops falling so thick and so fast that even at this distance they can see the rainfall, hear the thunder. 

“Over there!” he bellows, pointing with one hand, readying the pepperbox with the other. The building wind whips his words away and he tries again. “Over there!”

Vex’ahlia is already turning; she’s been keeping a close eye on him since they left town - wary, he supposes, just as her brother is, and he can’t blame her. 

“I see it,” she replies, unslinging the bow from her back and drawing an arrow ready. “Vax!”

The stormclouds thunder towards them, the sky as dark as the shadegrass beneath their feet and so thick they can scarcely see the rising moon. The wind cuts through Percy’s old worn coat, nipping at his skin and sending the fabric whipping around his legs. 

Then the rain hits, an icy deluge, and in it’s wake: the flames, and what follows it.

Shortly after Percy is found by VM and they’re hunting the nightmare. I just really like the description, I’m very pleased with the imagery and the way I snuck a note in about both Vex’s perceptiveness and Percy’s thoughts about that - as much as the fact that he’s noticed it. I’ve been trying to improve on subtlety and the fun of having things simply... there to be inferred by the reader is delightful.

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

In the last two stories? Percy for balance and the first two parts of RA; an as-yet-unseen original character in Arc3. In the current WIP? Cass. Sometimes it’s so nice to be able to just rag on Percy when he’s being stupid and few are as good at it as Cass has the potential to be. Sibling bonds and the fact they know each other too well to be able to hide much from each other plus the benefit that they don’t really want to hurt each other - it gives the chance to really show Percy’s flaws from the perspective of someone who is affected by those flaws (and has her own) and someone who Percy cares about enough not to be a stubborn prick over it (mostly). In canon he gets a lot of growth thanks to Keyleth and Vex; in this his little sister is going to nag him to improve even before that.

7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

Aaaaaangst.

Also, I just really enjoy discussing trauma and the like, but the general way people interpret this is angst. When it comes to specific style... I like imagery and trying to create an image. I like giving clear focussed visuals for specific events and recurring motifs for intangible actions - the sense of an emotion, or the way one edges around uncomfortable thoughts. I like trying to find ways to put those to words.

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

Well, if we’re talking about the current WIP... possibly a podcast? Film and the like wouldn’t work; there’s so much going on inside character’s heads that’s very very important and very much the focus (this holds true for my last two stories, the Ripley’s Assistant series and That balance may return, as well). So I think a podcast would have the best odds of working. Chapter by chapter, time to dwell in a perspective, able to switch voices to extra-emphasise some of the POV shifts... yeah I think that’d be the best alternate option.

Send me a question number about my current fic! Askbox Here.