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kpostedsum · 3 years

Text

high | d.m

summary: you find an unhealthy way of coping after draco cheats on you

warnings: drug use (marijuana) angsty¿, cheating, illusions to sex

song: habits - tove lo

a/n: this fic isn’t meant to romanticize drug use in any way. i also know nothing abt weed so LOL and very rushed & not edited

masterlist | taglist

I eat my dinner in my bathtub

Then I go to sexclubs

Watching freaky people gettin' it on

It doesn't make me nervous

If anything I'm restless

Yeah, I've been around and I've seen it all

you had a few minutes left of your charms class which was your last class before the weekend. you wanted nothing more than to get out of here and cuddle up with your boyfriend— who was enjoying his free period right now.

draco was one of the best boyfriends you could ask for, the frequent dates, gifts, and attention— it was more than you could wish for.

“you’re excused. you essays are due at the beginning of next week” snapes monotone voice dragged on as you quickly packed up your things and made your way to the slytherin common room.

I get home, I got the munchies

Binge on all my Twinkies

Throw up in the tub

Then I go to sleep

And I drank up all my money

Days get kinda lonely

entering the slytherin common room your eyes immediately searched for a certain blond boy, yet he was nowhere to be found. you made your way to the boys dorms in hopes of finding him there but you’re quickly interrupted by two familiar voices.

“why hello y/n, marvellous weather we’re having today aren’t we?” theo asked looking towards the ceiling and smiling as if he were outside, blaise blocking your path as he did so.

“i’m not sure what weather you’re talking about since we’re inside but i am okay thank you” you responded with a chuckle, trying to make your way past blaise.

“wait y/n” he stopped you. “can i borrow the astronomy notes? i would ask luna but i can’t find her anywhere” blaise continued.

they both seemed awfully on edge and anxious, you figured it was just quidditch nerves getting to them since there was an upcoming game this week.

“i have yet to finish my astronomy notes, but i did see luna in the great hall if you want her notes. now if you’d excuse me i’d like to see draco” you said trying to push past the two boys who still wouldn’t let you through.

“forget malfoy! let’s do something instead, we’re so much more fun than him, right blaise?” theo said giving blaise a pointed look as he threw his arm around your shoulder.

“right you are nott, let’s go!” blaise continued also throwing his arm around your shoulder and leading you away from the boys dorm.

“what? no, i have plans with draco. now excuse me” you said pushing them both off and heading towards dracos door.

as you get closer to his door you can hear heavy breathing, pants and skin slapping on skin. you’re confused, you figured draco would be taking a nap or running over drills for quidditch practice. the closer you get, the louder the noises become.

“pans, you feel so good”

you recognize that voice anywhere.

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

quickly you turned your head towards blaise and theo who had their heads lowered in shame, refusing to meet your gaze. “is this some kind of sick joke, are you guys pulling a prank or something because this isn’t funny” you said seriously not wanting to believe what you’re hearing from inside of your boyfriends dorm.

“we’re sorry, we tried to convince him not too but he wouldn’t listen” theo muttered silently.

it felt like your world was breaking apart slowly. just not too long ago you were excited to spend a weekend with your boyfriend who you loved so dearly, the same boyfriend who you’ve been dating for years, the same boyfriend who gets jealous about how much time you spend with his mum rather than him.

with shaky fingers you put your hand on the door knob and quickly pushed the door open, already preparing for the worst.

there he was, wrapped up with parkinson in the same bed you two shared not even twenty-four hours ago. her body straddling his naked, just like yours was doing the night before. you stood there frozen, mouth agape— not even knowing what to do with yourself.

“baby, i can explain, just please— y/n please don’t leave” draco said pushing pansy off of him, shuffling on his pants and reaching out towards you.

“dont touch me, malfoy!” you yelled and everyone froze. “you lost the right to touch me the minute you even thought of touching her” you continued sending both him and pansy a glare with tears threatening to slip from your eyes.

“darling please, i can explain—”

“no draco, we’re done just leave me alone, please” your voice cracking at the end as you pushed past blaise and theo rushing towards the girls dormitory.

Spend my days locked in a haze

Trying to forget you babe

I fall back down

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget I'm missing you

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

it’s been days since you last left your room, days since you last saw draco. daphne would come by and check on you but you’d always dismiss her, wanting to be alone. regret is one word to describe how you’ve been feeling— you gave him everything and he threw it away so carelessly for a quick hook up.

you missed waking up against his smooth skin in his embrace, tracing the lines and scars across his porcelain skin as you waited for him to wake up, the way he’d try to kiss you in the morning without brushing his teeth and you wouldn’t let him because of morning breath— but he’d still do it anyways.

you missed him, but he didn’t want you anymore.

maybe it was something you’ve done, you’ve been quite busy with work recently so you haven’t been spending as much time with him as normal. he was probably lonely and trying to seek the attention you lacked to give him.

getting up, you stared at yourself in the mirror picking yourself apart. you were pretty, it was a well known fact around hogwarts, maybe he thought she was prettier. she was the life of the party and always up for some mischief whereas you preferred to do stuff in silence and would rather be with a small group of people. maybe he liked how exciting she was in comparison to you, she probably brought a spark of excitement to his life that you couldn’t.

dreading to feel something you quickly showered and got ready to leave your room hoping to run into a specific set of twins.

Pick up daddies at the playground

How I spend my daytime

Loosen up the frown,

Make them feel alive

I'll make it fast and greasy

I'm on my way to easy

“well what can we do for you today” fred said to you with a cheeky smile plastered across his face.

“do you have any muggle herb left?” you asked in a low voice making sure no one heard you.

“maybe we do, maybe we don’t” george said. “how much are you offering in exchange though” he continued.

“ten galleons for three ounces, is that enough” you said pulling the galleons out of your pockets and placing them in george’s palm.

“it was a pleasure doing business with you” they said in unison as fred placed the tiny baggie in your pocket so no one would see.

once you returned to your dormitory you quickly pulled out the pre-rolled muggle herb, lit it and let yourself forget.

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Spend my days locked in a haze

Trying to forget you babe

I fall back down

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget I'm missing you

you started showing up to class late with red tired eyes, not caring about the looks you got. at this point every one knew what had happened but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

the muggle herb brought you a sense of bliss and freedom, a new feeling you haven’t felt before but something that you now craved.

“are you high right now?” draco said as he sat himself in the seat beside you.

“since when do you care about what i’m doing” you said sharply, not wanting to talk with him.

“love, you don’t smoke. who gave that stuff to you, i’ll kill them—”

“no you won’t.” you said turning towards him. “you won’t do any of that because you don’t own me and i’m not your girlfriend anymore. so mind your business malfoy, i’m sure parkinson’s waiting for you”

the rest of the class you both sat in silence working on potions that draco did most of since you weren’t in the correct mind state and he wasn’t willing to let his mark falter over your slip up.

you find it amazing how even when you’re on drugs he still looks amazing. the way his nose curves perfectly with a slight bump, and the way his hands move with caution as he pours the potion into the waste bucket.

“look, i’m sorry for what happened with pansy. it didn’t mean anything i swear, i don’t know why i did it but i regret it with my life” draco said breaking your thoughts, he looked older than normal and had dark circles underneath his under eyes. you wondered why he looked so distraught when he wasn’t the one who got cheated on.

“a sorry isn’t going to fix this draco” you told him. he knew you were right but he didn’t want to admit it. he hadn’t talked to pansy since the day you walked in on them, the guilt has been eating him up inside. he stayed silent and didn’t bother respond to you, he knew anything he said would have made the situation worst than it already is— but how he wished you were still his sweet y/n.

“now if you excuse me, i have some fun to attend too” you said leaving him alone as you made your way back to your dorm.

Staying in my play pretend

Where the fun, it got no end

Can't go home alone again

Need someone to numb the pain

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

over the last few weeks, you couldn’t remember the last time you were sober. you started skipping classes to smoke and avoiding your friends so they’d stop questioning your habits.

you were forgetting and that’s all that mattered, you didn’t care how it was affecting your health— it made you feel better. sometimes you wished there was another way, another way to forget how he held you at night pressing soft kisses to your skin, another way to forget the way he took pansy the same way he took you. you wonder if he feels as sorry as he looks, he’s the one who cheated so he can’t possibly care that much.

you hear two knocks at your door which quickly break you from your state making you more attentive, cleaning yourself up and opening the door. there stood draco— his eyes red as well, like hes been crying.

“y/n listen, i know what i did was wrong and that i tried to pretend it wasn’t me but please. i didn’t mean too, you mean the world to me. i miss you so much love.” he pleaded with you.

“y’know draco, i miss you too” you admitted. “but i’ve found a way to forget about you, maybe you should do the same”.

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget I'm missing you

taglist: @mauvea @teenwolfbitches28 @ilygw @nic0lodean @s1ater @henqtic @justreadingficsdontmindme @i-love-scott-mccall @harmqnia @gwlvr @alishahpotter

#draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy smut #draco fuckingmalfoy #draco malfoy angst #harry potter #draco lucius malfoy

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border-spam · 3 years

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What do you do when you find yourself in a creative slump? I need to make an art piece for my art course but I've no motivation or energy :<

OK so the scientific answer to this (lolno), is stop punishing your fucking brain all the time by insisting it create instead of doing what it actually wants to do.

Basically -

Everyone deals with burnout and creative slumps, its part of having a brain and BOY do we have a big juicy pal up there. It can be avoided by not being your brain's own worst enemy though, and the fact so many creators do that consistently isn't talked about enough. Imagine you've actually got 2 brains, ok? One is logical and intelligent, it's the part you make decisions with, set goals, state the dreaded "I'm gonna sit down and start working on this content in 30 minutes" with, etc. The other isn't capable of communicating the same way to you, but it's the part that actually creates. It's also the part that is horrifically burdened with the stresses you might be surrounded by in life and dealing with subconsciously. Work, school, family, a global plague, you know, little things like that. This creative brain can't create non stop, it gets exhausted, it gets bored, it gets tired. It's dealing with stresses and worries you might not even be consciously aware of, and when you start to overwork it and not let it recharge by enjoying other things it wants instead of forcing it to create, it desperately tries to warn you to leave it the hell alone for a while. Frustration out of nowhere while working? Blank-outs for creativity? Negative feelings of dread when you want to start working on something? Bruh. It. Does. Not. Want. To. Create. It wants to do something else, and as creators, a habit we have is to enforce these nonsense rules we make up to punish it instead. Any of these sound familiar?

"I can't play xxx game I should be working on this instead."

"I took enough breaks this week I'm behind on what I wanted to get done, I'm not watching that movie."

"I've only been doing this for 2 hours and want to stop, that's not enough, I'm failing."

No. This is bullshit we are making up. These are not real rules, it's us feeling our brain desperately beg us to do something else, then denying it because we've decided we are going to create even when it's waving a giant red flag at us and warning that we are running it into the damn ground. Keep ignoring it and what happens? It tells us to go fuck ourselves, turns off, and boom - CREATIVE SLUMP.

Content creators have this trope of the "suffering artist" rotting in the back of our heads somewhere, this implication that creating is a form of self-flagellation, that you have to go through pain and struggle or you aren't "really" a creator. This warps into really unhealthy practices for work output when it comes to creation, and we very often drive ourselves STRAIGHT into art and writing block that could have completely been prevented by not being such idiots and actually taking time away from our creations and really listening to what our brains actually wanted to do. There is nothing wrong with a week off playing your fave game. If you sit down to create and can't? What is it you actually want to do instead? Don't listen to the logical brain, listen to the part you keep ignoring with a "No that's lazy, that's a waste of time, that's not productive.", and go fuckin do it instead. Let the creative part of your brain rest, and burnout will happen far less often, for far shorter periods. This ain't even some kind of life hack, this is just basic shite that genuinely works - and we force ourselves to ignore it cause we are unhealthy idiots. Now obviously, in a professional and school based situation, you can't just take a week off. You've got deadlines - that makes things harder, but still possible to deal with by remembering to be kind to your brain. Schedule your "creative" hours for less time than your "enjoyment hours" whenever possible. If you have 5 hours for study or a project and it's viable, work for 2, then actually do what you're craving for the other 3, regardless of how "lazy" it feels. It's not lazy, it's recharging. If you've pushed very hard to reach a deadline/goal? Take an actual break. Take a week if you can, rest, play shit. Read shit. Watch shit. Chat shit. Anything, anything else that's not creation born of guilt or worry. Our brains are just gooey blobs in our skulls, they are idiots and still smarter than we can comprehend - but - they do play by specific rules. Listen to them, learn to react to warnings without punishing yourself for resting, and staying creative and avoiding slumps will be far easier.

#talkin shite with BS #artists on tumblr #writing #art #burnout #art block

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: you're gonna have to go without me & my pom poms 💔💔 Janis: what, why? Jimmy: got detention Jimmy: & I've already checked the windows, like Jimmy: no escape Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: Un🍀 babe Janis: leave you alone for five minutes Janis: what you do this time then? Jimmy: I didn't even do nowt Jimmy: barely said a word to this dickhead in tech who was proper giving it to me 🙄 Jimmy: should've just smacked him if I was ending up here anyway Janis: ugh Janis: bet he ain't going detention with you either Janis: teachers are cunts Jimmy: nah they didn't even hand him one out Jimmy: like fuck am I just gonna let him chat shit about us for the full lesson Jimmy: but now Janis: it's alright Janis: mean, obvious waste of your time Jimmy: I'm gonna knock him out when I next see him Janis: fair enough, I'd say Janis: I'll watch 👍 Jimmy: front row seat to make up for the one I'm missing, yeah Jimmy: you're still gonna win for me though Janis: 'course I am Janis: can't make promises for the rest of the team, though sure they'll try their best for you 😍 Janis: other School is pretty shit tbh so Jimmy: 👍 'cause I'm still taking for drinks later too Jimmy: & I'd rather you not have to drown your sorrows, pisshead Jimmy: sort them other girls out & make 🥇 happen, babe Janis: 💪 nothing but victory drinks, swear Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: 💕 Janis: stay alive Jimmy: [later] Jimmy: got my phone back Janis: you seen it then Jimmy: been @ed by half the school Jimmy: you alright? Janis: yeah, been reporting the comments but it don't do shit, especially when it ain't even my post so Janis: are you Jimmy: don't worry, he's gonna take it down Janis: nothing even happened Janis: I swear Janis: he's just pissed off 'cos I said it ain't gonna again Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: it's about what's happening next Jimmy: & I'm sorting that right now Janis: it matters to me that you hear the truth from me and believe it Janis: 'cos what he's saying, and everyone else now, is bullshit Jimmy: I know that he's the lad that gave you a lift & you didn't fuck him so Jimmy: whatever happened before ain't my business Jimmy: & nowt happened today either whatever he says Janis: it really didn't Janis: I wouldn't Jimmy: 'course you wouldn't Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: it's not but Jimmy: I'm just saying I believe you Janis: Thank fuck Janis: I felt like I was going to vom Janis: I know Mia talked to you, she took great delight in letting me know Jimmy: Less chat more shoving screenshots of his snaps at me Jimmy: so likewise Janis: he's just a prick Jimmy: I got that Jimmy: & she's just having fun pretending that you & him have been fucking behind my back this whole time Jimmy: didn't bother telling her I've been there & I'd know, not very #goals Janis: I'm sorry Janis: this bullshit Janis: they wouldn't do it to you if you weren't with me Jimmy: why, you ain't done nowt Jimmy: & I am with you Jimmy: I wanna be Jimmy: they can't do shit to change it Janis: I like you too much to put you through this shit Janis: it's so Janis: stupid Jimmy: you ain't the one being stupid Jimmy: or putting me through it Janis: yeah but Janis: I don't know Janis: just hate it Janis: them Jimmy: I know Jimmy: but he'll be one less dickhead to worry about in a sec Jimmy: I promise Janis: what you mean Janis: he's not going to delete it Janis: already asked Jimmy: yeah he is Jimmy: I'm not asking Jimmy: I'm just about to make him Janis: where are you Jimmy: If I let you know that you'll show up Jimmy: it's better if you don't, alright Janis: Jimmy Janis: I'm not gonna stop you but don't do anything stupid on my account alright Jimmy: I ain't the one who's being stupid either Jimmy: It's okay Jimmy: not my first time knocking out this exact type of dickhead Jimmy: like I said, my ex actually was fucking around on me so Janis: that's shit Jimmy: it weren't any more fun for her Jimmy: not really Jimmy: she was messed up, is still probably Janis: still Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: that's not this Janis: I know but everyone else is convinced so may as well be Jimmy: Nah, I ain't so it's not even close Jimmy: only thing similar is lads chatted shit on her too, never did find out how many she really got with out of the loads who said Janis: anything to boost their own rep Jimmy: it was the ones who weren't saying owt that I had to properly watch Jimmy: they just did it & left me to walk in Jimmy: literally in some cases Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: he's here Janis: don't get hurt okay Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: leave that for him Janis: obviously Janis: I don't give a fuck about him though Jimmy: makes two of us Jimmy: [a fight later] Jimmy: post's gone Janis: will you tell me where you are now Jimmy: tell me where you are & I'll come meet you Jimmy: not gonna hang round the scene of the crime, am I? Janis: I'm at my nan and granddad's Janis: could hardly go out and about town and fuck being home when she's gonna be there Janis: take this bus [#] Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: be there as soon as Janis: don't worry, neither of 'em is in rn Jimmy: I weren't but Jimmy: alright Janis: just mean, not gonna make you talk to my entire fam Janis: are you okay? Jimmy: I don't care who I've gotta talk to right now Jimmy: I just wanna see you Janis: they don't live as middle of nowhere Jimmy: thank fuck Janis: I know Janis: not to be that bitch but you didn't answer my question Jimmy: what Janis: are you okay? Jimmy: are you? Janis: better when I see you Jimmy: I feel that Janis: Okay Janis: are you gonna bleed on me again though or Jimmy: nah Jimmy: you're safe Janis: I'm Janis: I know it'll get old if I keep saying the S word so I won't but Janis: I wish it didn't drag up all that stuff with your ex for you Jimmy: none of that is important Jimmy: just you Janis: you Jimmy: I love you Jimmy: that won't get old if I keep saying it, will it? Janis: no Janis: I love you too so I never get tired of hearing it Jimmy: good Jimmy: 'cause you know I can't stop when I've started Janis: yeah Janis: one of the things I like about you Jimmy: even if it has fucked the 🚭 Janis: I'll allow it Janis: you promised you'll stay Janis: and you're already dead yeah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: 👻 lad me Janis: so you can't go nowhere anyway Janis: soz ginger trying to save your soul, too late Jimmy: & I can't get hurt either Jimmy: so if any other dickheads need fighting, it's no #drama Janis: not planning to make it a thing Janis: not that I planned this Jimmy: I get it, a weekly brawl would have me too 💪 & you don't need the competition Jimmy: not planning to become an athlete though you're alright Janis: you're an idiot Janis: a lovable one but Jimmy: an idiot for getting detention Jimmy: he couldn't have pulled that shit if I were there Janis: not like you planned on being too cool for school either Janis: give out detentions for their own amusement, sadists Jimmy: always too 😎 me Jimmy: for school or anywhere Janis: gift and a curse yeah babe Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: this bus actually run or what? Jimmy: I've been stood here ages Janis: yeah, last I checked Janis: if I knew where you were I could come to you Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: you know everyone'll be talking about it tomorrow Jimmy: let them tell you Janis: Probably shouldn't come to School Janis: reckon I'm gonna get stoned Janis: not in the chill way Jimmy: the teachers are fucking useless yeah but I ain't letting nowt happen to you Jimmy: or letting anyone think this is more than just bollocks Janis: they'll think what they wanna, and they really wanna Janis: idc Jimmy: like I told you, I'll fight whichever dickheads need to be told Jimmy: I don't care Janis: can't fight girls though can ya Jimmy: I don't need to Jimmy: you can Jimmy: or however else you wanna sort it Janis: yeah Janis: fuck knows Janis: I don't wanna have to always deal with this Janis: the lads just think I'm a slag so they can get some, whatever, makes sense Janis: they're just cunty 'cos they wanna, like alright but why bother Jimmy: I've said it before Jimmy: they're jealous Jimmy: you're hotter than them Jimmy: & good at shit 'cause you're SUCH an athlete as I'm always also saying Janis: that's so fucking stupid Janis: focus on yourselves ladies, might get something done Jimmy: tweet it girl Janis: 😂 Janis: keeping well away from social media rn tah Jimmy: 💔 but you're my muse Jimmy: bit rude Janis: no one's stopping you from being 👑 of twitter etc Janis: @ me though, can't handle another blatant subtweet or indirect Jimmy: 👌 fine Janis: what Janis: you reckon I should come running to my own defence Jimmy: I don't reckon owt Jimmy: it ain't happening to me Janis: well Janis: bit Jimmy: nah I'm the #victim if I'm in this Jimmy: my DMs are full of girls offering a shoulder to cry or cum on Janis: that's disgusting Janis: truly Janis: gonna miss your way with words Janis: but that's what I get Jimmy: you should see some of the pics I've been sent Jimmy: disgusting them Janis: no thank you Janis: not actually my thing Jimmy: I weren't asked if any of this was my thing Jimmy: but fine, I'll take one for the team Janis: I know, I know Janis: it's gross Janis: pretty bold of him to do this when I've got the dick pics, like Janis: guess enough peeps have 👀 or he's that full of himself Jimmy: probably hoping you'll show 'em about & the girls'll swoon Jimmy: dickhead Janis: 🙄 Janis: wouldn't put it past them so nah Janis: burn my phone, burn my retinas, like Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: assume Mia is licking his wounds for him as we speak Jimmy: I hurt him enough, maybe she'll actually swallow him Janis: 🙏🤞 Jimmy: who the fuck is he Jimmy: why does he think he can be this much of a bellend Janis: idk Janis: he's fit and such an athlete, obvs everyone loves him Janis: good match Jimmy: he ain't fit & I beat the shit out of him so how much of an athlete is he Janis: well you know what I mean Janis: stereotypical jock pretending his life is an american teen drama or a really low rent porn Janis: idk, the fact he was such a dickhead worked at the time Jimmy: it's your type, don't have to tell me Janis: fuck off Janis: no it ain't Jimmy: he is, I am Jimmy: that's two for two Jimmy: unless you've been hanging round with some right nerds Janis: you ain't my type either Janis: people don't actually have types do they Jimmy: you tried to tell me I do as soon as I met you Janis: yeah and look where you've ended up Janis: types are for when you wanna play it safe and be disappointed Janis: know what you're getting, even if it's a steaming pile of 💩 Jimmy: you don't have to sell me on how wrong you were, girl Jimmy: I told you back then Janis: I wasn't wrong Jimmy: you said I have a type, I don't Jimmy: what are you calling it Janis: 👌 Jimmy: nah, come on Jimmy: what are you calling it Janis: you have a type but you got 🍀 Janis: obviously Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😏 Janis: jk Janis: very unlucky Janis: 'part from the bathroom fuck, worst girlfriend ever Jimmy: apart from every fuck Jimmy: get it right Janis: please tweet that final review Janis: not all bad Jimmy: alright Jimmy: hang on Janis: erm wait until you've dumped me, dickhead Janis: and wait 'til this scandal has blown over 'fore that or they'll have it #confirmed Jimmy: you don't reckon I'm gonna have more to say after I've been fucking you forever Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: thought I had a way with words Janis: you do Janis: that was beautiful baby Janis: please fuck me forever 💕 Jimmy: I already promised Jimmy: not gonna break it & your 💔 Janis: tah 👍 Janis: you are on the bus now though on the real Jimmy: it did show up yeah Janis: coulda told me Janis: rude Jimmy: didn't realise you needed a warning Jimmy: do you wanna countdown or what Janis: shut up Janis: too soon to be making jokes about needing time to see the last out the door Jimmy: so funny you Janis: I said it's too soon Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be my friend Jimmy: I don't wanna Jimmy: stop friendzoning me Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: okay be my boyfriend then Jimmy: I am Jimmy: who do you think you're chatting to right now Jimmy: might have the wrong convo, girl Janis: think I'd be better at this Janis: honestly Janis: rookie errors these Jimmy: tah for saying it so I don't have to kick you when you're down Jimmy: embarrassing really Janis: I'll do better next time babe Janis: promise Jimmy: yeah sort it out Janis: hey, you're hot, wanna help me cheat on my boyfriend Jimmy: not that kind of boy Jimmy: but you'll find loads of takers so don't be 💔 Janis: am a bit Jimmy: you're 💔 or you're calling me a bit of a slag Jimmy: either way, gutted Janis: I've called you a slag many a time Janis: not gonna half-arse it now Jimmy: & I've been gutted every time Jimmy: but tah for letting me know what you meant Janis: you know it's just guilt projection Janis: shameless, really Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: well that's your rep now, may as well Janis: cheers Janis: probs shit the bed a bit with him but like you said, loads of takers Jimmy: chin up, Jillian Jimmy: you've got that paddy 🍀 on your side Janis: such a charmer Jimmy: what you like about me Janis: you want a list or you just stating facts Jimmy: it's a fact Jimmy: don't wear yourself out with the list Jimmy: bet you've got loads of DMs to get through & fire sexts to write Janis: naturally Janis: I don't even know who some of these people are though Jimmy: I'd offer my services but I ain't written one for a lad before Jimmy: Barry ain't that tech savvy Jimmy: give him a ring or nowt Janis: boys are easy Janis: very visual Janis: your talent would be wasted, tbh Jimmy: that's tanked my get rich quick scheme Janis: 😕 Janis: soz Janis: start charging for your nudes instead of giving 'em away, probs Jimmy: I'll just charge every girl in my inbox for a reply Jimmy: be alright Janis: not me though Janis: mates rates right Jimmy: I'm charging you double every time you friendzone me, mate Janis: Baby Jimmy: triple when you really 💔 me Janis: when have I ever Janis: babe Jimmy: you want a list Jimmy: 'cause the bus ain't got that many more stops so tell me now Janis: that is so mean Janis: 💔 Jimmy: baby Janis: I'm too headfucked rn for your shennanigans Janis: just be here Jimmy: I really miss you Jimmy: so much Janis: I miss you more Janis: definitely Jimmy: you can't say that Janis: but I do Jimmy: you can't feel how much I miss you Janis: I wish I could Janis: I need to know that you're okay and you really do believe me Jimmy: when I get there I'll do my best Jimmy: but it's never Jimmy: all of it Jimmy: I wish I could show you that Janis: we got time Janis: right Jimmy: depends Jimmy: can we stay at your nan & granddads for a bit Janis: yeah Jimmy: then yeah Janis: I love you, you know Jimmy: I do Jimmy: & I do too Janis: no one else matters Janis: just you and me Jimmy: you're all I give a fuck about Jimmy: nowt's changed Janis: can we go somewhere Jimmy: where Janis: anywhere Janis: it doesn't have to be now, if you can't but Jimmy: I'd go anywhere with you Jimmy: any time you want Janis: I don't want us to forget Janis: that none of them, and their shit, matters Jimmy: I won't Jimmy: & I won't let you Jimmy: I just want you Jimmy: so much Janis: I fucking need you, Jim Jimmy: I need you more Jimmy: like actually Janis: I Janis: it hurts Janis: when you aren't here Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: me too Jimmy: but there's nowt keeping me away from you now Jimmy: soon as I'm off this bus we're together Jimmy: that's it Janis: nothing or no one getting in our way yeah Jimmy: I swear Janis: Good Janis: you're mine okay Jimmy: it's okay with me, yeah Janis: good Jimmy: meet me off here Jimmy: I have to see you Jimmy: I just Janis: coming Janis: let me just settle this dog, 5 minutes max Jimmy: like one 🐶💕 weren't enough Jimmy: but go on Janis: this one makes Twix look like an 😇 Janis: gonna be so glad to see her, you are Jimmy: you better make sure you see her Jimmy: that's the cheating you've really done Janis: don't think I can look her in her puppydog eyes tbh Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: for her though not you Jimmy: you know what you did Janis: 😭 Janis: I had nowhere else to go Jimmy: save it for her, babe Jimmy: I don't need your excuses Janis: you know you wanna put in a good word for me, come on Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: if only to get her off my case Jimmy: I ain't nobody's rebound tah Janis: gotta have standards Janis: respect that Jimmy: & I told you that early on Jimmy: bit late to go back on it now Janis: you did? Janis: well it stands up Jimmy: you've forgotten? Jimmy: which one of us might have gotten smacked in the head today Jimmy: get it together, like Janis: soz I ain't memorized everything you've said Janis: only pretending to be that highkey Jimmy: crack on with it Jimmy: you've got time, nerd Janis: you gonna stop chatting so much shit or? Janis: making my life hard Jimmy: make me Janis: I am omw Jimmy: be faster Jimmy: are you even an athlete or what Jimmy: if you ain't running to me so we can film it in slo-mo it ain't #goals my love Janis: you know I just won a 🏀 before being forced on a walk of shame Janis: I'm knackered Jimmy: shit I never even asked Jimmy: sorry Janis: you're alright, safe to say no one gave much of a shit before something more #drama happened Jimmy: I did though Jimmy: I do Janis: thanks Janis: you're a good WAG Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😘 Jimmy: 😒 Jimmy: it's weird enough that you play for any school teams, don't call me a WAG too Janis: gets you out of lessons sometimes Janis: you know you wanna Jimmy: gutted I'm too 😎 Jimmy: 'cause yeah Janis: you ain't too cool to be with me Jimmy: but seriously, what team are they letting me on Jimmy: #troublemaker me Janis: sure they'll reckon it's good discipline for you then 😏 Jimmy: 🙄 'course Janis: come on Janis: I wanna see the short shorts Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: say please & maybe Janis: I'll say it when you get here Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: but only 'cause I wanna see you so bad Janis: Good Janis: I miss you Jimmy: just Jimmy: you be here Jimmy: I Janis: thanks Janis: for being you and not Janis: believing Jimmy: what else was I gonna do? Jimmy: you're the only one I like Janis: you could've though Janis: like, convincing, give him that Jimmy: if I was gonna be like that I might as well just fuck off now Jimmy: I mean it, all of this, it's the only thing I've got Jimmy: or want Jimmy: & we're a team whether the school lets me join in or not Janis: me too Janis: promise Jimmy: if you say nowt happened then it didn't Jimmy: that's all the convincing I need Jimmy: you don't lie to me Janis: I don't Janis: and why would I Janis: I didn't feel anything when we did do stuff so Janis: pointless now Jimmy: I remember Jimmy: you said Janis: I thought that's how it was Janis: just overhyped Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: even if now I've met you I don't reckon it was hyped up enough Janis: you're Janis: why are you so nice to me Jimmy: I told you, you're nice to me Jimmy: then I'm nice back Jimmy: it's a deal Janis: I'll be nicer Jimmy: how Jimmy: you're so Janis: again Janis: I'll show you Janis: 'cos I see you now Jimmy: yeah? Janis: mhmm Janis: have you forgotten what I look like Jimmy: he didn't hit me that hard Janis: Baby Jimmy: I'm okay Jimmy: I promise Janis: I'll check Janis: 'cos I'll kill him if he has Jimmy: 🤞 he's already 💀 Jimmy: I hit him hard so Janis: he earnt it Jimmy: I don't care about him Jimmy: it's for you Janis: me either Janis: just you Janis: did it make you feel better Jimmy: a bit Janis: yeah Janis: people bullshit when they say it won't Jimmy: I only wish I could have fucked him up worse for what he did Jimmy: & what he's like Janis: don't worry, his ego is 💀 if nothing else Janis: already 😷 'cos I turned him down Jimmy: that makes me feel loads better Janis: seriously Janis: it was pretty funny 'til it weren't Janis: 😢 like Jimmy: I love you Jimmy: how could I not Jimmy: that's real #goals Janis: wish you coulda been there Janis: coulda showed him why I don't want him Jimmy: me too Jimmy: it's not just him though, you don't want anyone else, do you? Janis: no one Janis: you know it's just you Jimmy: alright Jimmy: good Jimmy: come here then Janis: ['scuse them the most intense hello ever] Jimmy: [literally would & do need several moments] Janis: [can tell she's been in a state] Jimmy: [just all the reassuring touches in the world like he would not stop even when they are trying to walk again or whatever] Jimmy: [says 'afternoon' and smiles casually but is looking at her like & like I said just touching always] Janis: [blinking 'cos her eyes are stinging 'cos a bitch don't cry but she really thought y'all had fucked this up for them] Janis: ['hey'] Jimmy: [a boy sees & knows but he's keeping it chill for her] Jimmy: ['alright?'] Janis: [nods] Janis: ['now you're here'] Jimmy: [so many kisses basically wherever he can cos he can't stop himself like some are soft and some aren't cos all the feelings bitch] Janis: [holding onto him so tight and all the ilys] Jimmy: [likewise holding onto her like they about to drown like sorry everyone else about but not cos he would not be able to stop rn] Janis: [let's get you inside lads cheers for the empty grandparents] Jimmy: [more of the same when they're in lbr] Janis: [is checking his over like she said she would but is clearly fine suck it harry] Jimmy: [literally still can't stop touching her either even though low key would get in the way of what she's trying to do] Janis: [is loling but not trying to stop him 'cos never] Jimmy: [more kisses cos it ends them when the other one laughs] Janis: [softness bitch, getting him to the sofa 'cos she just wants to hold/be held for a hot sec] Jimmy: [give them a while with all those much needed snuggles] Janis: ['you're so important'] Jimmy: ['you are'] Janis: [let's self have sneaky cry 'cos overwhelmed as hell] Jimmy: [isn't gonna make a big deal of it even if he knows so just more of the same softness & being comforting & loving like] Janis: [laying on his chest listening to his heart] Jimmy: [playing with her hair from now until forever bye] Janis: ['it's fast'] Jimmy: [nods 'I told you, I had to see you. Needed to.'] Janis: [puts his hand on her chest, 'same', cos truly] Jimmy: [imagine what the fuck his breathing would have been like too omg] Janis: [let them just be so they can just calm] Jimmy: [later, he gets up to get them both a drink not alcohol let's not be wild, it'd be cute cos he don't know where anything is but still wanna do it for her] Janis: if you just wanted to look through the cupboards, that's alright Jimmy: just seeing if they got any posh silver I can have away Jimmy: life of crime starts here Janis: by the time the inheritance is split between us all I won't get much so Janis: go for your life, babe Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [brings her a beverage probably tea actually cos that's what english people do] Janis: ['tah'] Jimmy: [goes back to snuggling like he never left] Janis: 'you're the best boyfriend'] Jimmy: ['you're the best muse. Very inspiring.'] Janis: ['what are you thinking right now?'] Jimmy: [kisses her cos he's thinking about how much he loves her/how happy he is this isn't fucked up etc but how to say] Janis: [smiles] Janis: works for me Jimmy: [kisses her again cos the smile] Janis: are you coming back to mine tonight Jimmy: yeah Janis: [bigger smile] Jimmy: [just 😍 at her] Janis: nothing's ever gonna fuck this Jimmy: works for me Jimmy: [smiles back] Janis: promise Jimmy: are you promising or asking me if I do Janis: both Jimmy: well I do Jimmy: [sips tea but not in a shady way lol] Janis: good Janis: 'cos I like you Jimmy: I love you Janis: [pouncing for kiss be careful of the tea] Jimmy: [cue make out session they both need & deserve] Janis: we can stay home tomorrow can't we Jimmy: we can do whatever you want Janis: I don't care if people reckon I'm running or being a pussy Janis: don't wanna be there Janis: just wanna be with you Jimmy: I don't give a shit about anything but you having what you want Janis: you Jimmy: [just pulling her into her lap for cuddles like] Janis: everything is alright when you're with me Jimmy: then everything's alright Jimmy: I ain't going nowhere Janis: me either Janis: [snuggles further in to prove point] Jimmy: [keeping them like that lowkey forever]

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starryorchid · 2 years

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Lyrics that explain how I feel without me having to say it.

I forgot my name again. I think that's something worth remembering

Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep

Give it to your sister, your sister's stronger. See if she can hang on a little longer. Who am I if I can't carry it all?

Give it to your sister, it doesn't hurt. And see if she can handle every family burden. Watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks.

I've waited way too long to say

Doesn't it feel like our time is running out?

Cry for help. But no one is coming, no.

Hold my hand tight, we'll make it another night. I still get a little scared of something new. But I feel a little safer when I'm with you.

It's all inside of my mind.

Should admit that we’ve both had enough?

You say it's all in my imagination, that my mind is deteriorating. You say I'm not myself and ignore all of my cries for help. You promise all of my fears are just illusions.

I'm wearing rose-tinted shades but, all I see is shades of my imagination covered in red.

Watch me choke it down so I can throw it up.

Your lips are moving, I can’t hear a thing.

The stress on my hearts getting bad for my health.

Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know.

I don’t remember my real name.

I guess that I forgot I had a choice. I let you push me past the breaking point.

You turn into somebody I don’t know. And you push me away, push me away.

Don’t know if I’m gonna make it out alive.

They say ‘it’s not the answer’, but I can’t carry on. ‘Cause I got nowhere, no one.

I can’t work it out.

Oh, I’m a mess right now.

I don’t feel a single thing.

Do you ever get a little tired of life?

No one can hear you scream.

I didn’t mean to leave you hurting.

I can’t take no more.

I’m broken hearted.

I got nobody, here on my own.

Your lust for life has gone away.

Didn’t want to get attached, but now I’m too close.

Abandon everything you know.

Little do you know I need a little more time.

I can’t stop myself from falling down.

Really hoping that you stay, that you never walk away.

I try and I try, but you’ll never see that.

I can’t take it alone.

Just the two of us. We can make it if we try.

His parents cared more about the bible than being good to their child.

Basically all of Play with dynamite.

Am I finally awake?

Everyday it’s just rewind and replay.

That’s sad.

Jill will leave you lonely, dying in a filthy ditch.

Talking about the joy, but it never stops the sorrow.

You can fool yourself, I promise it will help. And

Basically the whole of SAD (Clap Your Hands).

But I was desperate, sitting in my bed, all alone, getting wasted.

Please just take this pain away.

Let me take your hand, I’ll make it right.

Let’s go home.

I wanna tell you how I feel and really mean it. I wanna shout from the rooftops to the sky.

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theninjasanctuary · 2 years

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Unsure if actually depressed or just thinking I am because of PMS.

Either way, some suicidal ideation for the first time in a while. Seems like I'm pretending to cope at best. I try to clean, etc., but it's never enough, the place is still a mess. I've wanted to take the rug to be cleaned for months now. OTL

There are annoyances piling up. The gum behind one of my lower wisdom teeth is borderline inflame-y for the third day and the usual chlorhexidine mouth wash hasn't fixed it, worried it'll go septic and I'm going to have to make an appointment so I can get antibiotics. My wrist is still not fucking OK, I've done everything I can for 2 and a half months to make it better and it's just not healing. It felt kind of ok-ish for a couple of days last week, but then random movements like adjusting my hat or mask hurt again. The physio said it might be the weather change (old enough now to start feeling that shit in my bones?). And I've started getting some kind of nerve pain in my left shoulder, so that's getting all the same ointments the wrist's been having, for all the good it'll do.

Work is piling up as well, and I can barely deal. Which leads to a vicious circle of not doing other things I either need to do or enjoy out of guilt over not working, and wasting time on mindless petty procrastination instead because it's not as if I can focus just because I have to. I do the bare minimum at absurd hours of the night and then sleep until it is dark again and avoid looking at my emails because I'm tired of making up excuses.

At least the black trousers that are kind of tight still fit? Wore them to uncle's funeral yesterday. It was ok, as far as funerals go, even though there was that busybody neighbour who always insists on getting some shitty comments in whenever she sees me, on the topic of not having kids. I don't know nor care what her deal is.

I guess what is getting to me is that I don't see how any of this is ever going to get any better? Haven't got a time management skill and don't know how to get one. Can't improve my sleep schedule, because even if I go to bed earlier, I won't fall asleep, and then ruin any chance progress when I am easily up till 8 AM when panic fixing some work shit before the deadline, which seems to happen every week - because I know I can't focus for hours and hours after I wake up, it is either late at night or nothing. Being consumed by worry about work means zero progress or actual regress on any other life goals. Couch potatoing the winter away, already stressed about the insane amount of extra garden maintenance chores spring and summer will bring and how my body will cope. What about fucking driving school? Kitchen reno? I cannot fathom how I'm supposed to make any of it happen, for all the work stress I don't earn nowhere near enough to just throw money at my problems.

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jcmk · 2 years

Text

Things I wish would go away

Me mostly. To brazen.. like I'm tired I say it a lot. It's so true like it never gets better.

I feel like the universe is teaching me a lesson.

I've been sick, on and off for a couple months. It feel like it's never ending. I worked for 3 weeks sick, they didn't care. They still don't, I spend my Christmas in bed sick with a fever. Which is unusual for me. But don't tell my store manager that.. my temp was not "considered a fever" I never realized they give out MDs to middle management.

I had to borrow money to go to the doctor. Did I need a covid test? Possibly, did I kinda use it to my advantage, yes. Am I beating myself up relentlessly for it?!?! Ohhh you better believe it.

They don't care about me, they just care about money and store hours and all that BS. I just wanna feel normal for a little bit. (Spolier: that will never happen)

I spent 4 years at a dead in job, I was assistant manager. It got me nowhere. You know people stop me just to tell me how the place went to shit. I have insider pull I should go back to fix it. Haha never, I'm tired of selling my soul to these corporations who when I told them I didn't feel well told me to simply get to work. I worked sick, behind a mask so they can make money. But I have a good thing here I shouldn't fuck it up.

Im dying inside but atleast I have a relatively decent job. With decently shitty pay.

The universe man

My dog is dying, I was too worried about me. It had to show me. Now what!?! I paid a $110 for nothing I discussed my blood pressure medicine, asked about reflux. Did I mention the episode I had yesterday where I begged someone anyone to just make it stop? Or I told my daughter I didn't want to be her mother anymore. Did I tell her I often want to run away ? No because that's scary, that's things people will judge me. They will know I'm not ok. I can't burden other people.

I put all my stuff in trash bags, begged my daughter's father to find her a new mother. I cried, I want to give up. It seems so peaceful. Life shouldn't be this hard, the intrusive thoughts shouldn't be this loud. I should not be this broken.

I just want my brain to hush, I want to be sick and that be ok. I want to take a day off for myself because I've been sick and I need rest without me convincing myself it's all fake. I'm not sick enough, I'm not I'm fine this is just me faking again ... I'm overthinking it's not that bad who care you can't keep your eyes open, or walk much, I wasted that money, I missed a day of work, I put everything on the line. For a day of rest after being sick. I'm a horrible mother, I'm a horrible person. I should of just went to work. I should have just pushed thru..

Why is my value in how much money I make and how I can continue to keep my family afloat.

I just want someone else to be the raft for awhile. I want someone else to take control let me rest.

0 notes

punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Buster & Rio

Buster: [Sends a selfie of him studying hard] Buster: So that's me. What are you doing? Rio: Proud of you, babe Rio: also you look cute 😍 Rio: [Selfie at whatever party she's been dragged to] Rio: Babysitting, like Buster: Well, damn, that's how fantasies start Buster: You look so good right now Rio: Yeah, I've seen the films too 😏 Rio: Is that how you've been rewarding yourself for your hard work or? Buster: I bet you have, babe Buster: And no, I haven't taken a break yet, I was saving them up for now Buster: For you Rio: You calling me a pervert? 😉 Rio: Well I'm all yours, baby Rio: How's your day been? Buster: 'Course not. You're such an innocent baby Buster: Yeah? Good Buster: 'Cause I've been so bored Rio: Jesus Rio: I can tell Rio: If this is how it gets you I might have to let you be bored more often Buster: What can I say? I've had a lot of time to think about you while my teachers were chatting the same old shit Rio: Yeah? Rio: What have you been thinking about me? Buster: Mainly all the ways you'd make learning fun for me Buster: It's a skill Rio: If only I'd stayed in School Rio: Career right there Buster: I'm not sharing you Buster: Private tuition or nothing Buster: I mean, it can be public, but still just me and you Rio: I'm fine with that Rio: You got the funds, posh boy Buster: You know it, babe Rio: I accept the position then, when do I start? Buster: You can start right now, if you want Rio: I wanna talk to you first, for a bit Rio: I've missed you Buster: I've missed you too Buster: So much Rio: I think I have good news though Buster: Tell me Rio: [Test picture] Rio: Obviously it's like Rio: really early days Buster: Oh my god Buster: When can we be sure? Buster: Like 1000% Rio: I'm getting a blood test at the Doctors, that's definite, just in case this test is giving a false positive but that's really rare, like you either are or you aren't really so Rio: We're having a baby Buster: Fuck, Rio, we did it Rio: I know Rio: I didn't know if it would happen, I mean Rio: I've not tried before obviously Rio: it's so surreal Buster: We can do anything Buster: I knew it'd work Rio: I'm glad 'cos it has and there's no going back on it now Buster: Good, I don't want to Buster: I want you and our baby Rio: I just keep rubbing my stomach like Rio: they're already in there Buster: Do you feel any different yet? Is that a stupid question? Rio: I don't think so Rio: I've not been being sick or anything yet, though that'll be coming in a month or so if it does Rio: it's just all so new it doesn't feel real but at the same time, so real and exciting Buster: By then my exams will be almost over and then I'll be back to look after you Buster: Wait, you're at a party right now? How has Indie not clocked that you aren't getting wasted alongside her? Rio: Just in time for the mood swings too, no doubt 😜 Rio: Such a good actress, obviously Rio: Never drank so many cokes in my life, hopefully she just thinks I'm doing coke in the bathroom, like Buster: Am I gonna have to buy us a bigger place so you can stay in your wing and me in mine, like? 😂 Buster: I really didn't expect to be this happy today Buster: And I really fucking love you Rio: 😂 Rio: Please, no matter how big our house gets, let's never be those people Rio: I love you so much, I've been dying to tell you all day Buster: I couldn't even, I'm so tempted to get a flight now just to see you even though I'd literally have to come straight back Buster: You should've, there's no better excuse to leave school and these cunts behind Rio: I know, I was trying to be good though, Rio: I didn't want you to get caught playing hooky when we can't tell anyone why yet Buster: I'd make something up Buster: Not a bad actor myself, hopefully Buster: You know nothing's more important than this Rio: Well, had other stuff to keep me busy Rio: Not as important, or good but Rio: Drew got sentenced today, 4 years Rio: hence I'm with Indie Buster: Shit Buster: How is she? Rio: She says good but Rio: She'll be alright, I don't know if she's grasping how long it is, or if you even can Buster: Yeah Buster: Our baby will be a kid when he gets out Rio: Shit Rio: Astrid will be too Rio: it's mental Buster: Indie and Edie'll be our age basically Rio: That's scary Rio: So much could happen in that time, he's going to miss it all Buster: It's so weird Buster: Like who knows how many kids we'll have by then Rio: See how you feeling when this one arrives Rio: You might be thinking one's enough 😏 Buster: No chance Buster: And we've been through this, one kid would be too spoiled and just Buster: odd Rio: 😂 Okay Rio: but maybe you've only just recovered enough for no.2 Buster: You reckon? Buster: I think you're speaking for yourself, babe Rio: No way Rio: I want all your babies Buster: It's okay if you only want this one, you'll be doing the hard work until they're born Rio: I don't but we'll see Rio: all the focus on this one for now Buster: Yeah Buster: Jesus, I can't believe you're sitting there with my baby inside you Rio: I know, how does it feel? Buster: I don't have words Buster: When are you going to the doctor's? I wanna be there with you Rio: You don't have to, babe, they won't do anything but the test for now Buster: Yeah but still Buster: The school don't need to know I ain't sick Buster: I can be there and back before anyone realises Rio: Are you sure? Buster: I'm so sure Buster: There's nowhere else I'd rather be Buster: So when? Rio: You're so lovely Rio: I'm booked in for Friday Buster: Okay Buster: I'll be there Buster: We're a team, baby Rio: We are Rio: We get to do this all together Buster: You know I'll do anything for you Buster: Both of you now Rio: Gonna make me cry Buster: You can Buster: It's alright Rio: Not in front all these people Rio: Hold on, I'll go somewhere more quiet Buster: I love you Rio: I love you Rio: Do you know they're like the size of a grain of sugar right now Rio: How does that turn into a human Buster: What? Really Rio: Yeah, even at a month, it's the size of a poppy seed Rio: it's tripping me out, it's so tiny Buster: Fucking hell Rio: How do I keep something so small safe Buster: We'll do it together Buster: You look after the baby and I'll look after you Rio: Yeah, I know you will Buster: What do you need like vitamins or something? Rio: Yeah Rio: I'm making sure I eat right too, getting our dates right so we can plan all the scans and shit Rio: The due date is 14th January, by the way, I did the Maths Buster: I can get food delivered to you if you get too tired, there's no danger Indie will steal and eat it, like Buster: You're so good at maths I have no reason to doubt that Rio: You're so fucking cute Rio: You take such good care of me Buster: It's the only job I have right now Buster: I'm gonna do it properly Rio: Gotta get those results too, baby Rio: but I know you will Buster: I promise Buster: I'm gonna make you both proud of me Rio: We already are Rio: I know, we already been talking Rio: telling them all about their daddy Buster: You're gonna make me cry Buster: You're so fucking cute Rio: I've been missing you like crazy Buster: Yeah? Rio: Mhmm Rio: It's been very distracting, mostly in a good way Buster: I'm here now Buster: You don't need to miss me anymore Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: Anything my wife wants, she can have Rio: Still the best feeling when you call me that Buster: Wait until the kid calls you mum Buster: We're gonna be parents after Christmas, babe Rio: Fuck Rio: How and when are we telling everyone Buster: I don't wanna tell them until we have to Rio: Fair Rio: Hopefully I won't get massive but Rio: who knows Buster: We could have twins Buster: There's no hiding that Rio: Oh Rio: Why didn't I even consider that Buster: 'Cause it's kind of a scary thought, like Rio: One we gotta have though Rio: When can you find out Buster: It depends Buster: Sometimes the heartbeats are so alike you don't realise Rio: 😏 Freaks Buster: Usually they work it out at the dating scan though Rio: That's okay then Rio: we'll call it it 'til then Buster: Do you want a boy or a girl? Buster: Assuming you don't get both Rio: Hmm Rio: I don't know Rio: either way it's going to be so perfect and so loved Buster: Yeah Rio: My friends with kids have all got girls though Rio: Maybe a baby boy Buster: I wouldn't be mad about it Rio: Gotta have your heir right Buster: 'Course Rio: Can't promise a 50/50 split like my Ma managed Rio: Pure skill that is Buster: I don't care if we have 11 boys or 11 girls Buster: Thinking of names might get difficult eventually though Rio: We haven't even started on the names Buster: All I know is I'm not naming any of them after me Buster: Posh cunts are always doing that Rio: Honestly Rio: There's only one you anyway, babe Rio: don't wanna give the kid a complex Buster: They deserve their own fucking name, like Buster: Not an amateur Rio: They can't have a boring name Rio: Neither of us having boring names Buster: Who in this whole family does actually? Buster: Not like we've got an uncle Bob Rio: 😂 Buster: But yeah you're right Buster: No half measures Rio: Go hard or go home baby Buster: Obviously Buster was timed out 11 hours ago Buster joined the chat 11 hours ago Buster: But coming home to you gets me hard so what can I do? Rio: I wish you were here right now Buster: Me too Buster: I just keep looking at that pic of you Buster: Amongst others, like Rio: You want some more? Buster: Always Rio: Hold on then Rio: Not tryna flash some pre-teens Buster: 😂 Buster: What kinda party is this, babe? Rio: Not that kind, soz lads Rio: Indie said I can't hang tho so Buster: So much to prove, yeah? Buster: You're a cool mum Rio: 😒 Hush Buster: But you are Buster: She just don't know it yet Rio: Seriously, it's harder to keep it secret than you'd think Rio: I told her I was on antibiotics and she was like...and? 🙄😏 Buster: If you need to tell her it's okay Buster: Like yeah we have an en suite but she still lives with us Rio: I'll tell her when we hit 12 weeks Rio: you know Rio: most don't before then Rio: I can do it Buster: Yeah but Buster: Nothing bad's gonna happen, like Buster: It's just not Rio: Yeah, of course Rio: That's all you can hope and pray for Buster: I'll do whatever I have to for you both to be safe, you know Buster: Even go to church if that's what it takes Rio: I know baby Rio: Me too Buster: You're gonna be the best mum Buster: You're the best wife already Rio: As good as I can be from a distance, like Buster: The best, end of Buster: You're keeping me going right now, babe Rio: Okay, we're both the best Rio: I can't wait for all this shit to be done, then we don't have to be apart Rio: ever again Buster: It'll go by so fast, I promise Buster: I'm gonna come back for weekends when I can Rio: Do what you gotta do baby Rio: I can be as here or as chill as you need Buster: Thank fuck your appointment is Friday so I can just stay Buster: Nobody will even bat an eyelid, like Rio: Let's just stay in bed the whole time Rio: Please Buster: 'Course baby Buster: That's all I want Rio: I'm gonna give you exactly what you need, don't you worry Buster: I'll give you anything and everything Buster: Hold me to it Rio: I just want you Buster: You've got me Buster: Whenever Rio: Good Rio: 'cos I need you so bad Rio: hate for you to not keep up, babe 😏 Buster: When haven't I? Buster: Come on Rio: 😋 Just a little encouragement Buster: Oh? Is that how you wanna play tonight Buster: Alright Rio: Maybe Rio: What you gonna do about it? Buster: Maybe I'll stop being so nice Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: Maybe I'll remember to pretend to not enjoy it Buster: You reckon? Buster: I'm not sure you're that good of an actress, babe Rio: 😱 Rio: Literally the rudest thing you've ever said to me Rio: Know we're not playing nice but damn Buster: Poor baby Buster: I only meant that I'm gonna make it impossible for you to pretend anything Rio: 🤤 Rio: Not gonna start faking it now Buster: You can't Buster: It goes against the vows Buster: And I'd know so there's no way I'm letting that happen Rio: You're right I can't Rio: You're incapable of being bad at it Buster: Yeah I am Buster: I want you too much Buster: And I need you to keep wanting me back Rio: I'm never gonna not Rio: You're the best, Buster Rio: that's why I'm keeping you Buster: I miss you Buster: I swear it gets worse every time Rio: It does Rio: At least we don't have to pretend we don't miss each other now Rio: not that that'll earn you much slack, like Buster: Which is typical 'cause exam time is the perfect excuse to be a moody, stressed cunt Rio: I bet Rio: I don't think your sister and Junie have seen sunlight Buster: I'm not surprised Buster: Nance has never thrived under pressure like I do Buster: Stick your head in some time and make sure she ain't having a breakdown, yeah? Rio: Alright, since you asked nicely Rio: I've been avoiding them best I can Buster: You're such a good girl Rio: Yours Buster: Mine Rio: You're hot Buster: For you, yeah Rio: I can't stop thinking about when you got me pregnant, well, when I think you did Rio: at the party Buster: Me either Buster: Let's hope your parents don't host anything too soon 'cause I'm having enough flashbacks as is Buster: I mean it, let's conceive all our kids like that Rio: There's basically a birthday every other week with this fam 😏 Rio: Never gonna complain again if we get to fuck like that though Buster: I'm already studying in my sister's room 'cause it's one of the only places here that we haven't fucked Buster: Now I gotta start avoiding half your house as well Buster: But at least it's only while you aren't here Rio: Oh okay, I'll keep it PG then 😇 Buster: Shut up Buster: You won't and I don't want you to Rio: Well if I'm gonna fuck you you better get back to your room boy Buster: You know I'm on my break Buster: I'm not just hanging in there draped in a rainbow flag or whatever Rio: Oh babe Rio: that's not a turn-on 😂 Buster: Exactly Buster: That's why I'm in the kitchen Buster: Getting a drink and annoying you Rio: Good Rio: Sober parties are awful Rio: You're gonna have to be so entertaining for the next 9 months Buster: Don't worry it's just water for solidarity Buster: The least I can do Rio: Baby! Rio: How are you so nice Buster: I'd be a prick to get drunk when you can't Buster: Like I said, we're a team Rio: You so can Rio: I'm not gonna be that bitch Rio: but I love you Buster: No Buster: I'm serious Rio: You're so Rio: How do people not see you like I do Buster: I don't love them like I love you Rio: I feel blessed, no hashtag needed to make it seem less genuine Rio: I mean it Buster: It's the same for me Buster: And now I get to be a dad too Buster: Actually speechless Rio: Seriously Rio: This kid is so lucky Buster: I can't wait to meet them Rio: Me either Rio: What are they going to be like Buster: They've got us for parents so Buster: Perfect obviously Rio: I can't believe we get to do this Buster: I can't believe we've got to do any of this since we first got together, honestly Buster: That I get to feel like this all the time Rio: Well we weren't meant to but Rio: give a shit then Rio: less now Buster: What did I do to deserve you 'cause I know that first kiss wasn't it Rio: I told you, you got really fucking hot Buster: Yeah? Rio: It was indecent Rio: No one's good looking at that age, fucking hell Buster: You were Rio: You think? Buster: I know Buster: I thought about you almost as much then as I do now Rio: I like thinking about that Buster: Shame I can't go back in time and tell my younger self what's gonna happen Buster: I wanted you so much Rio: I don't know if little you would survive Buster: Would definitely think I was full of shit and try and fight me Rio: Probably win Rio: he was very angry Buster: Yeah Buster: I better teach our kid how to fight in case they take after me Rio: We won't let him feel as bad as we've felt Buster: I'd die first Buster: I mean that Rio: I know baby Rio: that's why you're the best dad Buster: I'm gonna have to get used to you saying that Buster: Still getting my head around being your husband Rio: I know Rio: It gets me too Buster: I'm blushing right now Buster: [Sends photographic proof] Rio: 😩 Rio: Fuck me Rio: you're so angelic Buster: Say please first Rio: I'm begging, baby Buster: Call me Buster: I wanna hear that Rio: [Calls 'cos highkey] Buster: Jesus Buster: I think you made me lose my voice Rio: Good think you've not got any oral exams, yeah? Buster: Imagine my excuse note Buster: Like mum can you just Rio: 😏 Rio: I'll pretend to be your Ma, babe 😂 Buster: Fuck Buster: Don't make it hot Rio: You can call me mamãe and mean it baby Rio: Don't have to leave the Portuguese lessons in Brazil Buster: You're killing me right now Buster: Teach me, babe Rio: You're a fast learner, baby Rio: You've got all summer to get your tongue around it Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm gonna impress you Buster: You'll see Rio: muito gostoso Rio: that's you Buster: It's all you, baby Rio: Okay, but make it gotosa or it's getting gay and offensive to me up in here Buster: 😂 Rio: The queue for this bathroom Rio: Whoops Rio: Sorry everyone Buster: Forget them Buster: I'm not sorry Rio: Easy Rio: I'm still thinking about you Buster: I can't stop Buster: Ever Rio: Yeah, you're pretty special but save some time for me Buster: Shut up Buster: You know what I mean Rio: 😋 Rio: Make me Buster: Can you come back with me on Sunday or do you need to stay there? Rio: I don't know Rio: I probably shouldn't Rio: I know Indie is hurting Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm being selfish Buster: Forget it Rio: You aren't Rio: I want to come too Rio: and I don't really know how I'm meant to help her but Rio: we'll make the most of it Buster: You're right Buster: You always are Rio: She misses you too, by the way Buster: I'm sure the car softens the blow though Rio: I've had to be so strict or she'll have it apart before I know it Buster: She better not Buster: I'll be actually strict Rio: Daddy Rio: That's just for me Buster: Oh, are you jealous, baby? Rio: Yes. Buster: You're so hot Rio: What's a girl gotta do to get punished, honestly Buster: What can I say? You're such an angel Rio: Then do what I want Buster: If only 'cause I love it when you talk like that Buster: Okay Rio: I miss your marks Buster: I know you do Buster: Do some for me Buster: Make them last until I get there Rio: Where do you want them? Buster: Surprise me Buster: I wanna just find them Rio: You're full of good ideas Buster: You inspire me, babe Rio: I can't wait 'til I get a belly Rio: it's so sexy, don't you think Buster: Don't, you're gonna turn me on all over again Rio: Sorry Rio: being pregnant turns me on, it's your fault Buster: It's as much your fault Rio: Is that how you remember it? 😉 Buster: I've thought about it enough times, like Buster: And now I am again so Rio: Me too Rio: How they didn't hear me Rio: Fuck Buster: Or me Rio: Flashbacks so vivid I can feel it Buster: Christ Buster: You need to be here now Rio: Where would we do it first if I was Buster: Against the front door if that's where you're coming in Rio: Hope we're alone then Buster: I don't care if we aren't Rio: Find it hard to care about anything when you're inside me Buster: Good Buster: Or else I'd have to work harder Rio: No one works harder than my baby, trust Buster: It's for you Rio: And you know all of me is yours forever Buster: Is it fucked if I want you to touch yourself in the middle of this party considering how young they are? 'Cause I do Rio: No more fucked than how much I want to now you've said it Buster: Go on then Buster: Think about me and our party Rio: You were so hard under me Buster: I am now Rio: If I was sat in your lap right now, I'd be rubbing myself on you so hard, you'd feel exactly how wet I was Buster: If you were sat on my lap right now I'd make sure everyone knew exactly how bad you wanted me Buster: You'd be making every sound I like Rio: I don't even have to say a word Rio: Everyone knows I'm your little slut and that I'd do anything for you, you can see it when I look at you Buster: You're the only person who's ever turned me on with just a look Buster: The way you do it Buster: Fuck Rio: I just want you that bad Rio: It's always been obvious Buster: I need you that bad too Buster: It's as obvious here and now as it's ever been Rio: Are you touching yourself too, Daddy? Buster: [Sends pics] Buster: See for yourself Rio: Jesus Rio: That girl definitely just heard me Buster: She better have appreciated it Rio: My moans or your pics? Rio: 'Cos she ain't seeing 'em Buster: How good you sound Rio: I was too embarrassed to check Rio: and distracted by how good you look and how bad I want Rio: Actually drooling, like, Jesus boy, the things you do to me Buster: Don't ever be embarrassed by how fucking hot you are Buster: It's not even big yet and I still wanna cum all over your stomach Rio: That's just Rio: the hottest thing you've ever said Rio: Please Buster: It's true Rio: I wanna lick it up and kiss you deep so you can taste yourself Buster: I feel like the neighbours just heard me then so we're even Buster: Kinda Rio: You should shoot your cum in your own mouth tonight Rio: I promise you'll like it Rio: I do Buster: I'll record it for you Buster: We can find out my reaction together Rio: Good boy Rio: I've taught you well Buster: Say that again Rio: You're my good boy Buster: That's really getting to me Rio: You're making Mamãe very happy, baby Buster: Oh my god Buster: Rio, you're just Rio: I know Rio: Every fucked up thing you've ever thought Rio: You get to do with me, I want to Buster: 'Cause you're perfect Buster: You get me Buster: Better than anyone else ever has or would Rio: We were made for each other Rio: I believe that Buster: Me too Rio: I feel most like me when I'm with you Rio: and especially when it's just us Buster: I feel the exact same Buster: I swear Rio: I know Rio: You've never judged me for Rio: Anything Buster: I never will, baby Rio: and I'll never judge you, you can tell me anything and everything, you should Buster: We both have to Rio: I promise Buster: I promise Buster: Forever Rio: Now I'm just thinking about the honeymoon sex too Buster: I'm not sorry that you are Rio: I think all of Rio knew how happy I was to be your wife by the end of the trip Buster: Good Buster: We have to go back Buster: Not only so you get to be basically naked again Buster: But for the baby too Rio: I'm looking at our pictures now, we look really fucking good, like, we just do Rio: but of course Rio: we can have a place there if we get rich enough Buster: You always look good, but that fucking tan, Jesus Christ Buster: We can have places anywhere, everywhere, I'll make it happen Rio: I'm gonna post a throwback now Rio: so you can shamelessly perv on that Buster: You just wanna make me moan louder Rio: You will when you remember what happened directly after this photo Buster: Oh Rio: Oh? Buster: I should've known you were gonna post that one Buster: Damn Rio: I mean Rio: I was asking to be fucked on that beach, really Rio: Nothing subtle about it Buster: Not that you ever need to ask Buster: But yeah it was in your eyes, babe Rio: You looked so good that day, especially good Rio: I remember, you'd already been for a swim before I woke up and your hair was all wet and especially curly and you were just dripping holy shit Buster: Next time I fuck you on that beach I'm putting our second baby in you Rio: I need that Rio: It should be like, next level good, every time we make a baby Buster: It will be Buster: I don't think I've ever been as turned on as when we were at that party Buster: Just knowing we were creating our baby then Rio: It elevated it so much Rio: not to mention just fucking doing it there and then 'cos we wanted to Rio: I literally would not have stopped for anything or anyone Buster: Me either Buster: I couldn't Rio: You like the danger too, I've always known Rio: You didn't care about getting caught, all the stupid things we did as kids Rio: it was always so exciting when you were around Buster: I did it for you as much as me, back then even Buster: I didn't want you to forget about me Buster: So there was that purely selfish motive as well but Rio: Baby, I'd never forget you Buster: Mostly I just wanted us to have fun, you know Rio: And we did Buster: Shit was always so serious around us Rio: Yeah Rio: It was good to escape it all, for however long we were allowed Rio: you've always given me that Rio: I missed it, when we didn't see each other Buster: Me too Buster: I can't remember a time when I didn't miss you whenever I look back Buster: It's like how shit's measured, were we together or not Rio: I feel it too Rio: I tried to say it was bullshit and you know, get on with shit, other boys and stuff but Rio: I don't know Rio: something was always missing Rio: you Buster: Yeah Buster: I forgot myself when I tried to forget about you and just push it all away Buster: I think I thought if I was a different person then you wouldn't want me and I wouldn't want you Rio: Yeah Rio: I'm sorry you had to do that, ever Rio: I know I didn't make you and I did the same kind of thing but it still makes me sad Rio: we thought we were doing the right thing at the time Buster: It's alright, we're doing the right thing now Buster: Finally Buster: And I'm so happy Buster: More than I ever reckoned I would or could be, like Rio: Good Rio: Me too Rio: I finally feel like I'm on the right path again Buster: Plus, I did learn plenty of shit from all those girls who weren't you Rio: Not untrue Rio: even if I hate them all irrationally for it but you know Buster: I love how possessive you get of me Rio: I can't help it Rio: I'm just so yours that the idea of you not being mine Buster: It's the hottest thing Buster: That you're all mine and how much you wanna be Rio: Don't need the collar to own me Rio: It's always Rio: that's why I let you ink me Buster: I saw mine at school earlier and it was so distracting 'cause I was already thinking about you Rio: It's so good Rio: I bet your School would throw a shitfit if they saw, even though you're 18 and literally about to leave Buster: Yeah Buster: Some of the professors try and tell you how to have your hair still Rio: So medieval Rio: if it weren't for the leg-up you'll get and the fantasies I do, honestly, what a waste of time Buster: Literally, this girl's blonde went a slightly green somehow, fuck knows, and they sent her home Buster: Such a scandal Rio: As if a bad dye-job isn't shaming enough Rio: Ridiculous, though lucky she's there at all, only 'cos the feminists forced 'em, like Buster: Honestly Buster: But at least half of the school are the kind of posh cunts that think tattoos are only for poor people so Rio: Be low-class with me, babe Buster: You know it Buster: I had to delete so many comments off my insta post, like Buster: Shut the fuck up Rio: I can imagine Rio: The ones I didn't catch, anyway Rio: Least you can cleanse your socials with fire when you leave Buster: Sorry my parents have more money than you and I'm gonna get better grades than you but my Grandparents would be classed as scum by you Buster: Ridiculous Rio: Sound like a deluded Ma tryna make you feel better but it literally is jealousy though Rio: soz you also have a chin 'cos you ain't inbred tory as fuck, like, that's the life you been dealt, the privilege'll ease the pain of being ugly Buster: 😂 My wife's smarter than all of you and she doesn't even go here, who do you lot reckon you are Rio: 😏 Rio: Fuck the lot of 'em Buster: I'm so ready to leave Buster: Actually can't wait Rio: Seriously Rio: Uni will be so much better Buster: Especially 'cause I ain't going to Havard Rio: Yeah Rio: odds on Trinity has some decent people Rio: not all 🤓 like you Buster: I'll take fewer posh cunts Buster: You're the only nerd I'm paying attention to, like Rio: Sweet talker Rio: and a lot of 'em will be Irish so really, how posh can they be? 🤷 Buster: 'Bout as posh as you, I'd reckon Buster: Am I gonna have to learn that as well as Portuguese? Rio: Rude Rio: but true, probably Posher if they ain't from the 24, like Rio: nah, no one actually speaks it properly Buster: I love you Buster: And it's a compliment Rio: Hmm Rio: Alright Buster: Believe me Rio: You're cute Buster: So believe me Rio: I believe you meant it as one, babe Rio: Don't worry Buster: Now tell me you love me too Rio: I love you Rio: You fool Rio: I hope you don't lose your accent Buster: Unlikely since I haven't yet and I ain't lived in Cambs for ages Rio: Yeah but you only got posher with the move Buster: Shh Rio: It's hot Rio: like a disney villain Buster: 😂 Buster: Is that a fantasy from the list? Buster: Which princess do you wanna be in the roleplay? Rio: Hmm Rio: The list of brown princesses is so lacklustre Buster: You're such a good actress yeah? Create your own Rio: Or I'll just be that one you liked when you was a kid Buster: You know I didn't watch any of that shit Rio: 😏 Okay babe Buster: Come on Rio: I'm sure you only watched it 'cos Nance wanted to Rio: it's okay Buster: Lusting after the fairy godmother, like Buster: Let's not Rio: Stop 😂 Buster: The evil stepmother probably really got her going Rio: Poor Nance Buster: Let's chance the subject immediately Buster: g* Rio: What do you wanna talk about? Buster: You Rio: Oh sure, my favourite subject, like Buster: Mine too Buster: So tell me something Rio: Can you be a little more specific Buster: I haven't been gone long, but what have I missed? Buster: Give me the highlights babe Rio: Okay, lemme think Buster: While you I'm just gonna say it Buster: Not a princess, but Tinkerbell had that possessive vibe going on, and you know I like that Buster: Okay Rio: Oh Rio: That works on so many levels, Wendy was such a posh bitch Buster: Yeah exactly Buster: Sorry, carry on, I just had to get that off my chest, like Rio: I mean, very distracting thought but we'll come back to it Rio: just taking endless pregnancy tests, keeping Indie busy but outta trouble Rio: shooting, the usual really Buster: You're telling me, it ain't my fault you're so small you're actually fairy sized but you know Buster: How many tests have you done? Rio: I bought 10 Rio: I knew it had to be at least a week after so I had to wait but I did waste a couple 'cos I couldn't Buster: Babe Buster: You're so cute Buster: None of them were negative, right? Rio: I wanted to be sure Rio: yeah, they were all positive Buster: It's okay, I'm excited too Rio: I'm really excited Buster: I can't stop smiling, look Buster: [Sends selfie] Rio: Baby Rio: Your smile is my favourite thing to see Buster: Well, good 'cause I mean it so you're gonna see loads more of it for the next 9 months Rio: You're precious Rio: Nothing but good news from here on out, yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: Everything's gonna work out perfectly for us, baby Rio: It is Rio: us and our baby Buster: We need to give it a nickname until we can actually name it Buster: It sounds weird calling it that, it Rio: Yeah Rio: Hmm Rio: You're better at nicknames than me Buster: I'm thinking Rio: What about anjinho Rio: if I teach you to say it Buster: If that means what I think it does then yes Rio: Yeah Rio: Little 👼 Buster: We have to, 'cause it's yours and gonna be just like you Rio: and yours and you Buster: You're gonna make me cry, I was smiling a second ago Buster: I'm not supposed to be the hormonal one Rio: It would be just like you to have an empathy pregnancy Rio: drama queen 😏 Buster: Fuck off Buster: I'm never dramatic Rio: Literally a dramatic response Buster: 😂 Buster: Fine, sometimes, I'm slightly dramatic Rio: It's alright, I like it about you Rio: can't be the only extra one, like Buster: Oh fuck, it's genetic Buster: Our poor baby Rio: No hope 😂 Buster: Shh Buster: Maybe it'll skip a generation Rio: It'll have a big enough ego to deal with it if not Buster: Yeah Rio: Don't worry Rio: whatever they are, we're gonna love them, yeah? Buster: 'Course Buster: I already do Rio: Me too Buster: What's next after the blood test? Rio: They'll hopefully tell us but I know you have like, at least 10 checkups with your first Rio: scan at 12 weeks Rio: Can find out about the classes and shit when you're here permanently Buster: Yeah that's when they'll hopefully figure out if its twins or not Buster: I'm gonna have to do all the classes Rio: I know you do screenings at roughly 10 to make sure everything is okay so Rio: it won't be long to wait Buster: Do you think we should plan a party or some shit so we can just tell everyone all at once? Rio: Could do, could make it easier Rio: or like, literal hell will break loose Buster: Option 2 sounds well more likely Buster: Maybe we should just tell our parents first and let them do the honors? Rio: I'm assuming my mother's intuition will kick in and she'll be in the know Rio: Probably amazed I got to this age without any, like Buster: I'll let her tell mine for me then 'cause she's gonna kill me Rio: Yeah Rio: Gonna hope she won't fight a pregnant lady Rio: wait 'til the kid is out, tah Buster: You'll be fine Buster: I was the one who told her not long ago that kids were in the way future Rio: Shit Rio: I mean Rio: it's too late now Buster: Yeah, but she's gonna think I lied Rio: I wish you'd had this angst earlier Buster: It's not Buster: Don't Rio: Well, she's gonna have to get used to it Rio: I can't do anything about it now, I won't Buster: Baby, don't get upset Buster: I'm sorry Rio: It's okay, I just can't start stressing about what everyone is gonna say and think Rio: if I make that my priority instead of the baby I'm gonna be miserable and do a shit job taking care of it Buster: Forget I said anything, okay Rio: I'm not trying to be unhelpful to you Rio: but I can't, not yet Rio: no one needs to know, it doesn't need to be ruined Buster: It won't be ruined anyway Buster: I won't let it Buster: What I care about most is you and the baby, it always will be Buster: Whatever anyone says and thinks Buster: It's us that matters Rio: Good Rio: I know that baby, I promise Buster: I love you more than anything Buster: And I want this baby more than anything Buster: Don't forget that Rio: I won't Rio: I love you too, Buster Buster: And don't worry Buster: I can handle my mum, or anything else Buster: You don't need to Rio: I'm gonna be there for you though Buster: Priorities, babe Buster: You have to grow this kid for us Rio: You're still my priority too Rio: Always will be Buster: I know but I'll be fine Buster: Look after him for me, 'cause he needs it more Buster: And yeah, I've decided I want a boy too, sue me babe Rio: Okay baby Rio: I'll look after your son Buster: Why is it so hot when you say it? Buster: Fucking hell Rio: Gonna have to get used to it before he's old enough to be embarrassed by our antics, babe Buster: Help me. Say it again Rio: I just can't wait 'til your son gets bigger and starts kicking and moving around Rio: imagine now excited you're gonna be then, babe Buster: Shit Buster: I never even thought about that Buster: I'll be able to feel him too Rio: Yeah babe Rio: You might even see him, which is admittedly, a bit freaky Rio: but kinda cool too Rio: Gus was always booting ma that hard, it was a madness Buster: Oh my god Buster: That's gonna hurt though, yeah? Rio: I don't think it's much in comparison to the main event so you know Rio: you probably killed your ma Buster: I'm trying not to think about that Buster: And yeah, we made her so sick as well Buster: Sorry mum Buster: I reckon you'll know if we're having twins way before they tell you Rio: Least if I am she can just be all knowing and evil about my suffering, like Rio: might calm her Buster: True Rio: Not saying that's point no. 1 but you know Buster: Do you really think your mum will figure it out? Rio: Yeah Rio: Maybe not yet but idk Rio: she's got a nose for that shit, seen it enough times, I guess Buster: Weird Rio: 😂 Rio: When I start vomming all the time but refusing a drink, it won't take a genius, like Buster: I know Buster: I just Rio: What? Buster: I don't wanna share this with them all Rio: Yeah Rio: I get it Rio: I don't think she'll make an announcement for me Rio: it's still our thing Buster: I'm being unfair, aren't I? Rio: No Rio: just cute Buster: You're just being nice Rio: I am not Rio: such a 😈 you'll see Buster: Yeah? Buster: What are you gonna do? Rio: I said you'll see Rio: patience, baby boy Buster: Those are stalling tactics Buster: I knew you were too much of a 😇 Rio: 😖 Rio: Don't Rio: First Indie calls me uncool, now you, so rude Buster: I'm not calling you uncool, I'm calling you a good girl Buster: And I'm motivating you, babe Rio: Hmm Buster: You know it's working Buster: Don't act like you're not even more determined to be bad now Rio: You're not always right, you know 😒 Buster: I'm not trying to come for your title Buster: I'm just right about this Buster: Prove me wrong about how good you are baby, I know you want to Rio: I will Rio: answer your phone

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Ali & Carly

Ali: Heyo boo Ali: thanks for Rocky wrangling with me today, you're now also his fave so, add that to your tally Carly: its k i had fun Carly: hes a cutie & cool kid Ali: me too Ali: yeah, he's alright, but cocky enough so I ain't telling him Ali: dunno where he gets that from 😏 Carly: ha Carly: yea idk Carly: no clue Ali: i'm sorry Ro was being off btw, I'm working out why but trust it wasn't you, babe Ali: been neglecting her lately, everyone wants a piece of me Ali: hard life Carly: idc its me too Carly: nobody wants a piece but you Ali: I just told you that ain't true, and Rocky is ruthless, he called one of my customers a 'big bum witch' the other day Ali: no tip for me, thanks dickhead Ali: but I want all of you regardless Ali: willing to throw hands Carly: aw Carly: this town is full of big bum witches tho Carly: my ma back for one Carly: but are you willing to use those hands for good too or Ali: awks if that was your Ma, like hey gurl, I think you rock it Ali: your daughter ain't bad either Ali: you know it, IOU 'cos we couldn't make like we were in the backrow of the cinema Carly: unless she been lying about where she at i think youve avoided meeting the in laws again Carly: k cuz you kno i need to collect soon Carly: bored Carly: just back and zoned out so fast Ali: ain't even got exciting stories from their galavanting? fucking rude Ali: at least when we go AWOL we also go wild Ali: make things happen, lads Carly: my ma's good for nothing but hairspray and peroxide Carly: only use if i get beat up again Carly: my da's good for cash tho if you wanna get wild w me Ali: or you wanna single white female me Ali: which would be a disappointing outcome to say the least Ali: can't tonight babe, I've gotta have some sister time Ali: go hard for both of us Carly: k Carly: try not to miss me bad when shes talking about me Ali: oh babe, she will not, and if she does I'll set her straight Ali: gonna let the world know you're my 😇 Carly: whatever her issue shes gotta air it and youre her sister so you gotta hear it Carly: idc shes not gonna hurt me w it Carly: and setting peeps straight is the opposite of how you do, babe Ali: true Ali: idk what issue she could have though, you're a literal ray of sunshine Ali: true again 😏 Ali: ugh, imma miss you Ali: maybe i can sneak out when she's gone to bed, the 'rents too Carly: i miss you now Carly: cant hear my parents say shit Carly: i just wanna talk to you Carly: dont tell me maybe & keep me waiting tho Ali: i will Ali: promise Carly: i dont wanna make trouble for you Carly: w anyone Carly: you can stay w her if you need to stay Ali: You won't Ali: I can do both Ali: be back before first light Ali: even if I'll miss watching the sun rise on your face 😔 Ali: we've got the night, baby Carly: but you kno if ive got you for the whole night youre gonna fall asleep Carly: thats what im good at Carly: feel free to tell your sister thats why you like me ha Carly: fun & tiring its magic Ali: hmm, we'll see who wears who out first, babe Ali: and if I am that husband, then you'll just have to wake me up with morning sex like the good little wifey you are 😘😂 Carly: always bringing that confidence i like it Carly: k but if my parents wake up too you can explain its a duty thing yea i had to like Ali: i like you Ali: for so many reasons and imma show you all of 'em tonight Ali: fuck that Ali: stay out with me, its warm enough Ali: i'll trace all the constellations out with my tongue so you won't ever forget Ali: educational Carly: my ma is asking me what im blushing about Carly: i told her what you said but she's not a believer Carly: support my education bitch Carly: ha Ali: i mean, i'd offer to let her see the benefits for herself but Ali: not gonna win me any brownie points 'cos she won't take me up on it Carly: she dont kno what she's missing but i do Carly: wish you were here Ali: me too Ali: start the party without me babe, i don't mind Carly: too late if you do Carly: gotta get through this reunion some way Ali: they aren't making you watch a slideshow, are they? Ali: fate worse than death Ali: Maybe you could go to Ronan's? Lmao, he's been up in my pussy way too much since he found out about us...didn't think we were THAT loud but ok boy Carly: yea Carly: might do cuz same Carly: but what if i miss you he can really make a night of it when he wants Ali: Nah, I won't let you face that disappointment, babe Ali: my spidey senses will tingle like not on my watch, fuckboy Carly: aw Carly: you gonna come get me? Carly: thats no way to get him out your pussy babe fyi Ali: yeah Ali: I know but I like the idea of showing you off as mine Ali: but no sharing, he only gets to watch and be mad he fucked it up Carly: i like it too Carly: youre hot when youre oneupping fuckboys Carly: i thought i knew how to do it best but k youre flipping the script Ali: as long as i'm besting them i'm doing my job right Ali: gotta keep you on-board Carly: speak of the devil Carly: how he know i was alone & horny Carly: my parents have only gone to the shops its uncanny Ali: know your neighbours but bit stalkerish, pal Ali: i'll text him to fuck off, freak him out Ali: how does she know, ha, two can play this game fucko and I'm more committed Carly: ha Carly: you gotta Carly: hes smoking im gonna bum one see what line he tries to lay on before the text sends Ali: On it Ali: gotta let him know there's a queue to court the princess now and he's at the back, soz Carly: he likes hitting it from the back he wont be put off Carly: im gonna show him some of the hot pics i took of you tho Ali: when is he ever tbf? 🐶👅💦 Carly: true Carly: that fucking cute tho aren't i Ali: you know it babe Carly: hes talking to my da now Carly: kill me Ali: how fucking dare he Ali: knowing he has the upper hand with the man bants Ali: i know how to change a tire too! love me! Carly: if my ma invites him in for tea im out of here Carly: she will think hes hot under the collar for her & bitch thats my groundwork Ali: Run baby run Ali: what kinda moron is he tho Ali: coulda had a private show if you just waited, now its all saturday night telly and flat lager Carly: you kno i have nowhere to go if you dont want me babe Carly: facts Carly: he likes me now he cant have me what a fucking Carly: like i wouldve fucked you but im not getting w you Ali: i do, is this full sos crisis mode though? 'cos i need to be good for a lil while longer yet Ali: such a typical bloke move that Ali: bet he ain't the only boy in ur inbox, not a pun Ali: 'cos he ain't in mine like 🙄 Carly: its k your sister needs you Carly: i can keep walking Carly: loads of other lads on site as well as in my inbox Carly: & they arent trying to say hi to me before we get down to it nevermind my parents Ali: 😾 Carly: why so sad blue eyed boo Ali: i don't like how lads treat you Ali: i'm not jealous, like swear to god, even though i obviously want you all to myself, i get it Ali: but i'm not about how shit they are to you, even if you don't care, they should care to be decent humans Carly: thats not lads its everyone Carly: youre the only one treating me different Carly: they dont know how else to be Carly: made my bed babe Ali: nah Ali: you don't deserve half the shit you get, that's bullshit Ali: and even the rest, people just don't wanna try to understand or be good, heaven forfend they inconvineince themselves for one second, like Carly: if im a slag im a slag i dont get to put conditions on it Carly: if it was a film maybe Carly: but theres no romance coming my way from theres and i dont want it Ali: why can't you just be you? someone who likes fucking, among other things Ali: not romance just like...not being a cunt Ali: idk Ali: pisses me off Carly: cuz you don't run the world even tho you strut it like you do and i love it Ali: not yet, babe Ali: one day, and you can be my right hand woman Carly: yea? Carly: take me w you & ill take you to all your fave places k Ali: k Ali: we'll be fun forever, I promise you Carly: gotta be Ali: you know i like you even when you ain't tho Ali: don't tell Carly: who would i Carly: ronans got enough for his wank bank & nobody else is chatting to me rn Ali: exactly, ruins the illusion and fantasy when they realise i care about you Ali: so unsexy of me Carly: youre sexy to me Carly: idc what they think Ali: good Ali: me either Carly: i like you too you kno Ali: yeah Ali: i had my suspicions Carly: i dont have any subtlety sorry about it Ali: Don't be Ali: I love it Ali: not enough people say what they mean or want, ever Carly: waste Carly: k i wasnt shouting how bad i wanted to kiss you before i did but not cuz i was bothered about me Ali: agreed Ali: sometimes you can't know you want something until you've got it Ali: i get it Carly: you get me Carly: its weird Ali: 🔮 Carly: ha Carly: k what am i thinking now Ali: wouldn't be proper to say Ali: tut tut bad girl Ali: like how you think though Carly: fuck Carly: youre good Ali: 🤷 don't mean to brag but remember that phrase you'll be screaming it later Ali: such a Ronan line, I can't 😂 Carly: but true Carly: not like when he says it Ali: 😍 Carly: what you doing w your sister Carly: gotta live through that cuz bored Ali: Fixing my weave Ali: getting into a white girl dread territory over here Ali: then gonna do some 🔮 forreal Ali: get ready for me to be even more of a know it all baby Carly: cute Carly: tell me my future i got some shit from another neighbor & im waiting for it to kick Carly: hows it gonna treat me Carly: needing a good trip Ali: we'll see who gets the answer first Ali: you got anything for me? Carly: yea Carly: they mystery but i kno you arent scared Carly: & you got me doing a test run rn lying on here on the grass Ali: 🌌 be there before it fades away my space explorer Carly: if you find me at a bad end prob dont take it Ali: is one of the lads trip sitting you Carly: so he reckons but hes drinking so theres no trust Carly: & he gave me it Carly: his game could be me lights out idk Ali: keep texting me, okay babe? Ali: if shit gets too real, tell me and I'll come early Ali: my sis is cool now, she gets what we're doing, she was just confused Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Carly: you told her you like me Ali: 'course I did Ali: I ain't ashamed Ali: I'm proud Carly: youre gonna make me cry Ali: You're special, Carly Ali: You're gonna see Carly: I just wanna see you tho Ali: Me too Ali: I'm gonna make her some chamomile tea and then I'm coming, yeah? Carly: but thats not fair to her Carly: she's not gonna be a fan of me Ali: I've promised her more time tomorrow Ali: You need me rn Carly: but what if i want you to stay Carly: what are we gonna do then Ali: i'll stay until you're ready for me to go Carly: you mean that? Ali: yes Ali: promise, imma take care of you Carly: but theres nothing in it for you Carly: youve already got me you dont have to Ali: i wanna keep you Ali: and not just selfishly Ali: you gotta stick around, you're too cool to go anywhere, okay Carly: k Carly: im here & if you wanna be im not stopping you Ali: good Ali: i wanna be wherever you are Carly: i kept you pills back the lads didnt want me to but idc about them & you can follow me in now Ali: fuck them Ali: just me and you Carly: yea Carly: ill look after you too Ali: 😇 Ali: i know, i trust you Carly: idk if you should Carly: but i like it Ali: willing to take my chances Ali: you're worth it Carly: thats you Ali: i'm so glad i met you Carly: me too Carly: not that i met me thats weird Carly: you know what i mean Ali: i got you Ali: not high yet 😉 Carly: id seen you around before you guardian angel'd me that night Carly: thats weird too Carly: that i didnt see you how i do now Ali: it is Ali: you were always cute but Ali: idk, i can't claim to have seen this in my crystal ball Carly: thats cuz i wasnt cute i was a state Carly: & youd have more likely seen me sucking ronans dick Carly: look away babe you dont need to have that image in your mind Ali: don't need him reckoning he plays part in any of my fantasies, nah Ali: you can't not be cute, no matter how you try, soz babe Carly: you can't not be so sweet to me can you Ali: dunno Ali: not tried Carly: idk what id do if you did Carly: i got used to it Ali: got no plans to stop Ali: unless you ask me to, like Carly: thats not gonna be what i ask you to do Carly: trust me Ali: you can tell me all about it Ali: 5 minutes, tops Carly: okay

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