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ohmytheon · 6 years

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The Wonderful World of Jealousy

summary: Bakugou doesn't need to deal with his feelings, certainly when it comes to Uraraka. He'll just ignore them until they fade away - that is, until, the worst asshole of them all figures out his issues and brings them up to the forefront. Is he really okay with losing his chance with her or does he want to try for something more?

notes: For Hanini on the @kacchako-server! Now I ship Monoma/Uraraka and I want to write more Monoma and it's all your fault. I hope you enjoy your gift! Also I wrote the summary while drinking so please forgive me.

Jealousy was an ugly feeling, one that had taken Bakugou an embarrassing amount of time to figure out. It was one of those feelings that he didn’t even realize he was suffering from until two days later when the realization would strike him like a flash of lightning and he’d struggle to keep from exploding something. He hated being jealous. It made feel so petty and frustrated, if only because there was literally nothing he could do to stop it. There was no sense in it and yet it was there, pulsing in the back of his mind like some sort of ticking time bomb.

He was working on being the very best. He was going to become number one. What the hell did he have to be jealous over?

It turned out, upon coming to UA, that there were quite a few things.

The first had been the sickening realization that he wasn’t the strongest student in his class. He’d never been around other kids with quirks as or even more powerful than his before. It had fueled him to push himself even more, striving for nothing but victory every time, but it had come at a cost that he’d not expected in making people think that he would do absolutely anything to be the best.

The second had been more subtle, one that had taken him weeks to realize. Bakugou would admit that while he’d had friends growing up, he’d never had close attachments. Now that he looked back on it, he wasn’t even sure if he could count them as friendships, not when he’d dropped them all the second that he’d started attending UA. What use had he had for them after that?

However, the kids in the hero course were different. Sure, it had taken him a while and a few hard-fought battles that other people might not have considered the things that made up friendships, but Bakugou would admit now that a few of the kids he’d derisively called Extras before were his friends. Being around others that could be considered near his equal made all the difference.

He found out the hard way that he was very possessive of them. They were his friends. He couldn’t figure out why Kirishima forming a close friendship with Deku outside of him or Mina sometimes sticking with the girls or even Kaminari hanging around that little grape shit pissed him off so much. At first, he’d thought it was just because it was Deku, but then he had started to notice it was about the others sometimes too. The fact was he didn’t like sharing, but had found himself in a group filled with the most social people in the universe. Go fucking figure.

The last one was the worst and the most aggravating. Bakugou loathed it. He did not like feeling jealous at all, but this one ate him up if only because there was possibly something he could do about it but wouldn’t. He couldn’t. He didn’t. It wasn’t that he was afraid to do something -- he wasn’t afraid of shit -- it was that he didn’t have the time. He was trying to become number one and he’d come to the conclusion over a year ago that he had a hard and difficult path ahead of him if he was going to beat Deku and Todoroki in order to do that.

He couldn’t afford any distractions and this jealousy right here? It was a fucking distraction that he neither wanted nor needed.

Despite his insistence that it leave him the fuck alone and let him be to work on his goals, Ochako Uraraka -- with her damn smile and laugh, those pink cheeks, her ability to flip anyone on their back, and quirk that could lift tons right over his head with the threat of dropping it -- continued to piss him off. Why wouldn’t she get out of his head?

Even worse, why wouldn’t other guys leave her alone? By the time he’d realized all those things about her and how they twisted his entire being into knots, others had as well. And that was what he hated the most. The fact that he wasn’t the only one that knew those things about her -- that felt those things towards her -- and there was jack shit that he could do about it. After all, it wasn’t her fault she was as bright as the fucking sun and a badass to boot. Of course other people would notice and of course they would act on it. They had the time; they had the leisure.

(They had the guts.)

Bakugou kept telling himself that one day he would get over it. One day he’d wake up, see her eating a terrible breakfast, and wouldn’t nearly be overwhelmed by the urge to take it from her and hand her his. One day his heart wouldn’t seize in his chest when she smiled or laughed at something he said. One day he wouldn’t give a shit when someone else made her do those same things.

Today was not that day.

They were in the middle of a joint combat simulation with Class 2-B. Finals were around the corner and everyone was doing their absolute best. Bakugou knew that he had a habit of getting into his own head when it came to tests like this, but for once, he had a moment to sit back and watch. He’d already had his turn and had come out on top, just as he’d expected. Now was the time to analyze the others and pick out any flaws or weaknesses that he could use against them should their finals call for them to go against each other. It could happen.

Except that it had been his weakness that had been spotted -- by that bastard Monoma of all people. It couldn’t have been worse unless Deku had figured it out. Maybe even then it wouldn’t have been as bad because Deku would have at least had the awful kindness to pretend like he didn’t know. Not Monoma though. Oh no, the moment he caught Bakugou fondly watching the screen with a grin on his face as Uraraka tore through some Class B nerd, it was game over.

“Uraraka is pretty incredible, isn’t she?” Monoma asked out of the blue.

Bakugou was so caught up in the fight that it didn’t register at first who was talking to him. “What?” When he turned his head and saw Monoma’s shit-eating grin, he scowled furiously. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Monoma pointed to the screen. “Uraraka. I don’t pay attention much to you Class A fools” -- which was absurd since he was practically obsessed with them -- “but she stands out. She’s very powerful and she’s cute.” Bakugou gawked at him, his brain so torn between wanting to throttle him and ignore him that he couldn’t do either of those things. “Do you know if she’s single?”

“Why the fuck would you want to know that?” Bakugou demanded. Surely this bastard was so up his own ass that he couldn’t even see anyone but himself.

“Oh, I was just thinking that I might ask her out on a date,” Monoma answered, like that was reasonable.

Bakugou snorted and turned back to the screen. “As if she’d go for someone like you.”

Monoma’s grin somehow broadened, turning almost demented. “You think she prefers someone like you ?”

His question hit Bakugou in the gut like a sucker punch from Deku and he choked on his tongue as he whipped his head back around to glare at him in incredulity. It was the wrong move. He couldn’t have been more obvious had he tried and his only hope was to play it off as pure fury. Then again, if he blew up, his extreme reaction and denial would only be even more damning. He couldn’t say shit.

It fucking sucked since Monoma knew all of that too and he dug in deep. “What’s this? Does the great ‘I am going to be number one’ Bakugou have a crush on the zero gravity girl?” He put one hand on his hip and then pointed to someone in the crowd. Bakugou didn’t have to look to know who he was pointing to though. The name was already pinging like a warning signal in his head. “Isn’t she best friends with Midoriya? They look awfully cozy.” Bakugou clenched his hands into fists, willing them not to explode, but that was all he could do. Monoma wasn’t threatened in the slightest as he waved a dismissive hand. “I’d do something soon if I were you. She might not be on the market for much longer.”

Before Bakugou could even think of something to shoot back at him that didn’t involve exploding him out of the building, Monoma walked away, cackling as he did so. A few people sent Bakugou some curious looks, including Deku and Kirishima, both of whom he ignored. Monoma got a few looks as well, but things like that never seemed to phase him in the slightest and they were all used to his weird behavior. Meanwhile, Bakugou was burning with rage and he knew -- he just fucking knew -- that things weren’t over.

I might ask her out on a date.

Nothing had even happened yet and Bakugou could feel jealousy sucking away at his fucking soul. Why did this have to happen to him? He wanted to ask her out on a date, not Monoma, who sure as hell didn’t have genuine feelings for her. Not that he did, but still, fuck. This was such shit hole that he’d dug and he couldn’t figure out a way out of it that didn’t involve imploding himself.

A week passed in which Bakugou put his entire focus on school and not on Uraraka at all. He wouldn’t have said that he ignored or avoided her, but barring class, if she walked into the same room as him, he either walked out or pretended like she didn’t exist. He had done it very well for half of his first year, even with her catching his eye at their first Sports Festival. So many things had happened to distract him then. He could do it now. He could ignore her like he’d ignored everyone. Eventually, whatever this shit feeling was, it would go away.

There were two issues with that strategy.

The first issue was Uraraka. She could appear seemingly out of thin air, as if waiting to pounce on him and pull him into one of her friendly conversations. He’d fallen victim to that trap far too many times. It was like she had some sort of second quirk -- as if he was caught in her gravitational pull. She was so bright and bubbly, along with intense and powerful. How could he resist that? Well, he tried, but instead he came off as even ruder than normal. Most of the time, it didn’t deter or phase her in the slightest.

Then there was that one time he’d said something so pointlessly mean that she’d slapped his chest and sent him flying into a tree. She’d left him desperately hanging onto a branch for fifteen minutes until he’d apologized and then returned his gravity to him so quickly that he’d fallen to the ground. She couldn’t have known how much he’d regretted acting that way and he had taken extra effort to avoid her since then, more so out of shame and humiliation than anything else.

The second issue was one that he couldn’t avoid: himself.

Bakugou could ignore anyone in the world except for himself. His mind rarely ever gave him peace and quiet. It bounced around, almost always loud, either focused like white hot lightning or scattered like debris after one of his massive explosions. The theme was constant -- his goals -- but there was so much that pertained to that theme and it kept getting added to each day. At one point, he had only ever considered becoming number one all on his own. Other people didn’t matter. What did it mattered who was with him when there was only room for one person on that pedestal and it was him?

Things were so different now. He had actual friends, mentors that he could trust, peers to push him, and even a better relationship with his family. It wasn’t perfect and things were still rocky with all the people in his life, but he’d learned that being at the top didn’t mean being alone. He didn’t always like that. Being alone was so much easier. There wasn’t nearly as much to juggle. There were times when he didn’t understand the point of it all. Then he would watch people like Deku, who thrived even more with the people in his life in a way that Bakugou hadn’t understood for the longest time, or Todoroki, who had perhaps been worse off than him but made even stronger the more he accepted that change.

It pissed him off, knowing this and knowing that it was for the better, because he didn’t want it and yet he did. And sometimes that want clashed with everything else in his mind.

Like the way Uraraka twisted him all up inside. How was that good for him or his goals? It was a distraction.

One that, despite his attempts at ignoring, Monoma capitalized on now that he had a line on Bakugou’s problem. The fact that it worked was even more maddening. Bakugou now knew that Monoma was the worst person to have figured this out. Sure, maybe he didn’t know the full extent -- and how could that bastard when he barely knew himself? -- but he knew just enough for it to be problematic.

Because if there was one thing Monoma knew best, it was how to exploit others to give himself an opportunity. That was basically his whole fucking quirk and he was smart to use it. Even smarter, he knew that Bakugou really couldn’t do shit to him without exposing himself.

Everything started going downhill at the end of the week when lunchtime came around. Like usual, Bakugou went to the mess hall with Kirishima and the others. They all split up while they got what they wanted to eat. He was slow, still sore from a hard morning workout, and scanned the large room for the table one of his friends had chosen when his eyes landed on something else entirely. His stomach twisted so uncomfortably that he no longer felt hungry and he had to actively keep his hands from smoking as he tightly gripped his tray.

Standing in what felt like the middle of the room, like a light was beamed on them and they were all he could see, were Uraraka and Monoma. As much of a little shit as he could be, Bakugou knew that Monoma could be, ugh, charming if he wanted to be. He was smart. And in a purely analytical point of view that Bakugou also hated, he could admit that the shit stain could be considered attractive in that stupid conventional way. He didn’t like it and he didn’t agree with it, but he’d be stupid to think that some girls and guys didn’t think so.

What the two of them were talking about, Bakugou hadn’t a clue since he was too far away to hear and had no intentions of getting any closer, but it didn’t matter. Uraraka was actually smiling. It wasn’t a forced smile as he’d hoped. He knew what those looked like, even though she was pretty good at hiding it from others. Monoma wore a calm look on his face and then smiled in return as he said something that made her laugh. He’d made her laugh and it wasn’t fake either.

Thankfully, Deku called to her from their table and Uraraka bid Monoma goodbye. He took her hand to say one more thing to him, which had her blushing, and then let go so she could walk away, looking quite content as she did so.

And then Monoma turned, caught eyes with Bakugou, and fucking winked.

Bakugou almost screamed.

“Bro, are you alright?”

“I’m fucking fine!” Bakugou snapped, knowing damn well that Kirishima could tell that he wasn’t.

This was so stupid. He hated every second of this. His stomach was in knots; his heart was lodged into his throat; his whole body felt hot enough to burn up; and his mind was a jumbled mess. He just wanted this to end. Was that too much to ask for? How could a little shit like Monoma get him so worked up? It wasn’t fair.

Kirishima sighed. “Whatever you say, but if you need to talk…”

Bakugou rounded on him. “Does it look like I need to talk about my fucking feelings?”

“Kind of,” Kirishima replied without any fear. “But I know you won’t, so let’s go find the others and eat. Maybe you’re just hangry for all I know, cranky pants.”

Eating did not help, not when he was no longer hungry. Bakugou spent the majority of lunch shoving his food around the tray and picking at bites. He didn’t even talk much, choosing to stay silent as he stewed over what Monoma could’ve possibly said to make her smile and laugh like that. He’d even taken her hand in his and made her blush. Was he that charming? Did Uraraka think he was? What would she do if he tried to do those things? Ugh, probably float him to the ceiling again since he’d been an ass to her yesterday.

If the others noticed his moodier and more reserved nature at lunch, they didn’t say anything, probably because of a look that Kirishima gave them. It was a good thing too. He was not in the mood for Ashido’s interrogation. She could pinpoint a crush a mile away like it was a sport. Not that he had a crush on Uraraka, but if she caught on to even a mere hint of one, she’d create a crush out of thin air. She loved the romance and drama of that shit and it would probably make her month if she thought that he had one, especially on one of her close girl friends.

No, no, he didn’t need any of his friends in his shit, not when it wasn’t important. Having Monoma in it was bad enough. His friends would blow it out of proportion and make his life even more miserable.

Two days later, Bakugou dragged himself into the common area of their dorms, exhausted from a sparring session with Kirishima, who looked equally tired. They’d ran themselves more ragged than usual in Bakugou’s attempt to expel all the extra energy that this rage and jealousy had been giving him. It had worked. By the time they had decided to call it quits and go back to the dorms, all he could think about was his bed. Luckily, Kirishima hadn’t complained about going harder than usual. He took everything in stride and considered it a win that he had not given up so easily.

Of course, something had to leap out and force his mind on another track that wasn't sleeping.

“Did I see you talking with Monoma earlier?” came Ashido’s voice from the couches.

“Oh, yeah, he wanted to compare notes on the joint combat battles we’ve been doing,” came Uraraka’s response.

Her voice was like some sort of static shock that short-circuited his brain, causing him to halt and zone in on where she, Ashido, and Asui were sitting. Was that how Kaminari felt whenever he overdid his quirk and fried his brain? One second, all Bakugou could think about was how much he wanted to sleep and now here he was doing his best not to look like he was listening in on a conversation that had absolutely nothing to do with him.

“You coming?” Kirishima asked.

“Do I have to walk you to your dorm?” Bakugou demanded, annoyed at being interrupted. What were they saying now? The jerk had talked over Ashido’s reply.

Kirishima blew a raspberry. “After that sparring session, you might have to carry me.”

“I’m gonna get a drink before I go to bed,” Bakugou told him. “I don’t want to wake up with a headache because I didn’t hydrate enough like an idiot.”

“Whatever,” Kirishima huffed in exhaustion before wandering towards the elevator.

It was a good idea to drink some more water. He’d run out before their session ended and had continued to sweat up a storm even without using his quirk. After getting a glass of water, he rested against the corner, but kept the group of girls in the corner of his eyes. No, this wasn’t weird at all. It would just be a waste of time to take this glass to his room when he’d have to bring it back.

“And you said he was really nice?” Asui asked, sounding skeptical. “Not weird?”

Uraraka did that giggle-snort she sometimes did when she thought something was amusing in a dry way. “Well, I guess him being nice is kind of weird, right?”

“Super weird!” Ashido agreed. “He’s only nice to anyone in our class when he’s, you know, being mean.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what was up with him,” Uraraka said as she sunk back and pulled her legs up onto the couch. Bakugou couldn’t see her face from where she was sitting, but he could imagine her chewing her lip as she thought about something bothering her. “He, um, said that he couldn’t wait to see me in class tomorrow? That I was ‘very impressive’ or whatever.”

Ashido gasped. “Oh my god, do you think-?” She leaned forward and Bakugou did not need to see her to know that she was grinning like an idiot. “Do you think he has a crush on you?”

“Wh-what?” Uraraka’s voice was so high-pitch that he was surprised she hadn’t activated her quirk on herself and floated to the ceiling. She laughed, the sound so awkward that it would have fooled no one in the slightest. “That’s crazy talk. Monoma hates everyone in our class.”

Asui nodded. “He has had it out for us since day one.”

“Maybe it’s part of some secret plan,” Ashido continued in a tone that was far too serious for whatever dumb idea she had concocted. “He’s trying to infiltrate us and take us down from the inside by dating Uraraka!”

Uraraka scoffed. “That’s silly.”

Not to mention convoluted. Except… Bakugou gripped the glass tightly. Monoma was just doing this to get into his head. He was sure of it. That prick had never shown this much interest in Uraraka before until that day a little over a week ago. This marked the third time that Monoma had interacted with her though in less than a few days, although this last one had been when Bakugou wasn’t there to witness. That wink in the cafeteria told him that this had to do with him though. He was trying to take Bakugou down.

And fuck if it wasn’t messing with his head.

“He’s gonna ask her out,” Ashido decided, sitting upright and folding her arms. “I just know it.”

“He is not!” Uraraka protested.

Ashido was not swayed. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to ask you out after you basically turned Shishida into a baseball and knocked him out of the arena with a streetlight?”

Fuck, Bakugou had wanted to ask her out after witnessing that display of strength. The second she’d managed to cancel out Shishida’s gravity and wield that streetlamp like a baseball bat, a stray thought of, That’s the girl for me , had popped into his head. He’d been left doing mental cartwheels to explain it away even though no one else had heard him think it. When she’d come back to an excited hug from Deku and a high-five from Kirishima, all Bakugou could do was stick to himself and wish that he could sweep her in his arms. Which pissed him off. He didn’t want that. He didn’t want to want that.

“It’s Monoma though,” Uraraka pointed out.

“He might be the worst,” Ashido replied sagely, “but he’s kind of hot.”

Bakugou felt winded by a stab of betrayal. How could Ashido say something like that? She could be stupid, but that was just plain idiotic! One of his friends couldn’t possibly think that. Saying something like that to Uraraka too? As if she needed that thought in her head. Was Ashido trying to push her to Monoma? What kind of friend did that? The guy was an egomaniac.

Oh, right.

Bakugou must have slammed his glass in the dishwasher too loud because he heard Uraraka ask, “Oh, Bakugou, how long have you been standing there?” Long enough, too long. He ignored her, as he’d been doing for a few days, and pretended as if he hadn’t heard her as he stormed out of the room. He was going to pass out and forget that he’d heard any of that conversation.

Things came to a head all of three days later on one of their days off. In each of those days before, Bakugou had witnessed two more excruciating interactions between Uraraka and Monoma, one during their joint class and the other in the gym. Since when did Monoma work out? She could literally crush him with her thighs. Bakugou had spent the next ten minutes trying to scrub that thought out of his brain. Why had he thought of that? The last place he wanted Monoma to be was…

Fuck. He had to think of something else.

The third time he came across them had to be purely by accident. Not even Monoma could have staged this, seeing as how Bakugou had changed his mind last minute about visiting his parents. While most of his classmates were either off-campus or doing homework in the dorms, he had decided to go for a jog. It was close to dusk, his favorite time to go for light runs. He didn’t go super hard all the time. However, on his way to the track, he spotted Uraraka walking out of the library building while Monoma held the door open for her.

Bakugou’s blood boiled and he froze on the spot. Again, he couldn’t hear what was being said from where he was, but he saw the gesture that Monoma made, offering to carry her books for her. She laughed a little and shook her head, opening her arms so that the books could float in the air. Over the past year, she’d worked on negating only a part of an object’s gravity. She was getting better about it every day, even able to use it on herself sometimes so that she could do these super cool jumps. It made his stomach flip, seeing her doing something silly like that with Monoma, and he dug his nails into his palms so hard that he nearly drew blood.

Before either one of them could see him, Bakugou ducked behind a tree and stayed there as they walked past him. This time, he couldn’t help but feel like a creep, but if he moved, they would see him. Monoma would not be able to resist acting like a bastard and Bakugou honestly didn’t know if he would be able to resist punching him in his smug face. It wasn’t because he was jealous. Well, okay, it was a little, but it wasn’t all that.

It just… It really fucking pissed him off that Monoma would use Uraraka to get under his skin.

(Unless he wasn’t using her. Unless it was all real. Bakugou didn’t know what was worse.)

“I actually really like it when we get to work with Class B,” Uraraka was saying as she poked the books gently ahead of her while she walked like a game. “We’ve all grown so much since our first year, but I’m around the others’ quirks so much. It’s nice to see something different.”

“You are quite different,” Monoma said, walking next to her with his hands in his pockets and a small knowing smile on his face.

He had known exactly how Uraraka would respond, blushing and clearing her throat before she continued, “Plus, it gives us a chance to work together instead of competing! Ah, well, I guess we’re still competing, but it helps us build each other up. I like that. We should work together more often.”

“I’ll admit to my reservations about Class A,” Monoma said.

“Reservations?” Uraraka snorted. “They’re a little more than that, I’d say.”

Monoma gave her a sheepish look. “You caught me.” He took one of his hands out of his pockets. “May I?”

She gave him a hesitant look, but then slowly nodded. The moment he touched her arm, Bakugou’s heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. His hand lingered longer than necessary, but then he pulled it away from her and touched his satchel. Uraraka was locked on it, an openly curious expression on her face. She took Monoma copying her quirk a lot better than him. He still burned with anger whenever he thought about how he’d taken a blast to the face by his own quirk that first time the two of them had clashed.

“I easily get jealous, a trait that I’m not particularly proud of,” Monoma said, sounding...genuine. Was he being honest? Was he being open? Bakugou tried not to gawk. There was no way this was happening. If there was one thing that Monoma was not, it was fucking genuine. That was...something that Bakugou wanted to do but couldn’t. If he could be more open with Uraraka, he wouldn’t be in this shit position hiding behind a tree. Seriously, what was wrong with him?

“You? Jealous? No way.” Uraraka was actually teasing him. No, this didn’t feel like getting stabbed at all. Monoma went to press a hand against his chest in mock-offense when Uraraka grabbed his wrist to stop him. “You’ll float yourself and get sick.”

Monoma pulled his hand away and she let go of him. “Nice save.” Bakugou felt a little put out. It would’ve made him feel a shit ton better had he done that. “I think it comes from my quirk though. For the longest time, I hated it.” That was surprising. It didn’t sound true and yet, besides him being a bastard, he didn’t know Monoma well. He didn’t know anyone in Class B well enough to say much about them besides that they weren’t worth his time with Ibara and Shishida being the exceptions. “I have to copy someone else’s quirk to have any power. I wanted a quirk that was entirely my own. I wanted the power to be mine alone instead of borrowing someone else’s.”

“I...never thought of your quirk that way,” Uraraka admitted.

“Most don’t consider other people’s quirks,” Monoma explained, “but I have to know everyone’s and I have a very limited amount of time to figure out how they work.” He pulled his other hand out of his pocket and pressed the pads of his fingers together. “Release.” The satchel dropped and he slung it back over his shoulder. Uraraka looked surprised, her eyebrows raised. Bakugou felt strangely embarrassed. Monoma had probably understood Uraraka’s quirk before even he had back in their first year and Bakugou had been the one to fight her. “I watch for people’s quirks so much though that I tend to forget the person behind it. To be honest, they usually don’t catch my eye. The quirk is far more interesting and of use to me.”

“Ah, there’s the Monoma I know.”

Bakugou would’ve felt relief had he not seen the way Monoma gazed down at her now. He grit his teeth and clenched his fists at his side, just waiting for that moment, when the other boy said, “Someone has caught attention though and I’d like to remedy that.”

He couldn’t do it -- he couldn’t stand there any longer -- and so he booked it for the track. The two of them were far enough where they wouldn’t hear him and they had their backs to him at this point. He didn’t dare look back just in case one of them turned around. That whole conversation hadn’t been at Bakugou’s expense at all -- unless Monoma was playing some sort of long game, which was possible too. After all, he couldn’t just ask Uraraka out without any precedent or building up to it. He had to make it believable. It seemed like so much work to just make him squirm though.

Was he so egotistical that this whole thing had to be about him? Maybe, just maybe, it really was about Uraraka. She was pretty incredible. Was he pissed that Monoma was using Uraraka to get at him or was he pissed that Monoma had the gall (the guts, the time, the willingness) to ask her out?

He didn’t know. He didn’t fucking know. All he knew was that he didn’t want Uraraka to get hurt over some stupid, petty fight that he wanted nothing to do with.

The next day, Bakugou set out on a mission. He left the dorms before anyone else, heading towards the cafeteria for breakfast, where he waited outside. Making sure to look busy reading so that no one would bother him in case one of his friends came by and got nosy, he kept his eyes peeled for a certain someone. About twenty minutes into waiting, he spotted his target. After snapping his book shut and jamming it into his backpack, he stormed through the crowd like a guided missile.

Before anyone could say or do anything, Bakugou barreled his way through the small group of Class B kids and snatched Monoma by the front of his shirt. “We need to talk,” he growled as he continued to push through the crowd, taking the other boy with him.

Kendo spun on her feet, activating her quirk and enlarging her hand to snatch Bakugou and stop him. “Monoma-”

But Monoma held up both of his hands, taking care not to touch him and not looking afraid in the slightest. In fact, he looked like he’d been expecting this. “Go on without me. I’ll meet you in a few minutes.”

“Are you sure?” Tetsutetsu asked, clenching his fists in a way that suggested he was ready to fight Bakugou right outside of the mess hall. Oh, so the bastard had friends ready to defend him at a moment’s notice. How nice.

“He said he just wanted to talk,” Monoma insisted calmly, but then he smiled in a way that made Bakugou want to growl all over again. “Let this Class A extra get something off his chest.”

Despite looking more than hesitant, Kendo, Tetsutetsu, and the others walked into the mess hall without him. Monoma arched an eyebrow at him and Bakugou let go of him. As if on cue, he turned and walked to a more private area of the hall. Yeah, he’d definitely been expecting this, which irritated the hell out of Bakugou. He didn’t like the idea that he was predictable.

As Monoma fixed the front of his shirt and collar of his jacket, he asked, “Any particular reason you felt the urge to assault me before breakfast or has terrorizing Class A proved too boorish?”

Bakugou scowled. “You know damn well why I’m here.”

“Haven’t the foggiest,” Monoma replied as he adjusted his tie. Despite his overly innocent tone, the smug, knowing expression on his face suggested otherwise. Gods, he had a face that just screamed punch me. He wasn’t going to admit to anything until Bakugou copped to it first. Monoma wasn’t the most stubborn person on the planet, but he was willing to go to extremes to be above someone and indeed he had the upper hand here.

That pressure, along with the image of Uraraka’s blushing and smiling face, was too much to take. “Uraraka.”

“What about her?”

“Leave her alone,” Bakugou snarled.

Monoma’s eyes glittered dangerously. “I wasn’t aware that you had a claim over her. She’s not your property.” Of course she wasn’t. He’d never presume to think such a thing. He never had, even with all of those stupid, complex emotions towards her swirling in his mind for months. It wasn’t her fault that he couldn’t get rid of them. She didn’t owe him shit for how he felt. “I can talk with her if I like. Just because you won’t act on your crush--”

“I don’t have a crush on her!” Bakugou snapped.

“--doesn’t mean that she’s off limits until you gather the courage to do so,” Monoma continued effortlessly. He wagged a finger and tsked, as if scolding a child. “She told me what awful thing you said to her the other day. It’s almost like you want her to hate you.”

It would have been so much easier if she had, but no, that was the last thing that he wanted. He could admit that now, as much as it embarrassed him. The fact that she had told Monoma about that made him flush with even more humiliation. How far had he fallen?

Yelling and sniping at Monoma weren’t getting him anywhere. He had to take a different approach, one that the other boy wouldn’t expect from him. Fuck, he had to be reasonable, but still intimidating. He had to… Gods, was he really going to have to go to the level that Monoma wanted him to go? Somehow, some way, he’d get back at him later for this shit.

Swallowing his pride, Bakugou folded his arms across his chest. “You’re only talking to her to get under my skin. I know you’re used to using underhanded tricks like the worm that you are, but if you’re gonna fuck with me, then don’t involve her. I get it -- you don’t like me and I sure as hell don’t like you -- but involving her is petty as fuck.”

“Caring about the collateral damage, are we?” Monoma asked.

“She’s not--” Bakugou clamped his mouth shut. Monoma was trying to drag him further into this and he was leaping headfirst into the trap. “Listen here, fuck face, if you hurt her feelings just to piss me off, you are not going to like the results.”

Monoma actually had the audacity to laugh, a little maniacally as usual. “You think this is just some sort of game that revolves around you?” He began to walk away, done with the conversation, but then paused to look back. “Did you ever stop to consider that it has nothing to do with you at all? Uraraka stood out enough for you, the most arrogant person in U.A. to notice. Maybe you aren’t the only one.”

“You saying that you actually like her?” Bakugou demanded in a bark, his heart beginning to give the first signs of him having a heart attack. He’d always known that other guys would like her -- how could they not? -- but barring the idea that Deku was a rival for him, he’d never really been forced to face it up front. She wasn’t some sort of prize to win -- she was so much more than that -- but the idea that he had competition that not only would make a move but had done so before him was not pleasant.

“Maybe it did start out as a way to make you squirm -- and it’s been great, believe me,” Monoma told him, a savage grin on his face, “but things do change. Uraraka sure is full of surprises, isn’t she?”

Bakugou felt as if the entire world stopped on its axis as he watched Monoma laugh again and walk away. He couldn’t move, couldn’t school his face into an expression that wasn’t a stupid mixture of shock and fury, couldn’t get his brain to work as it screamed at him to do something. All he could think to do was hurt Monoma and he couldn’t do that. Not only had he been called out entirely, but the stupid shit was right. As much as it pained and pissed him off to admit it, Monoma wasn’t wrong at all.

This whole mess was his fault. He’d ignored how he felt for so long -- he’d kept telling himself that Uraraka wasn’t important and was just a distraction to what he wanted -- that there was a possibility that he’d lost his chance. He had spent so long pretending like it didn’t exist that he’d missed the knife being dug in between in ribs. Had Monoma been the one to twist it or had it been himself? Bakugou couldn’t tell. All he knew was that he couldn’t take this feeling anymore. She wasn’t the distraction; the jealousy was. Once again, he’d been his own enemy and Monoma had used that to his advantage.

Whatever the case, he had to figure this shit out before it was too late.

For the rest of the day, Bakugou worked on just calming down. He knew that his friends were suspicious about his behavior, but thankfully none of them said anything. He had to prep himself though. He couldn’t fly off the handle; he couldn’t act like a total ass; he couldn’t make a wrong move. The issues were that he felt like he could explode at any minute; he was most definitely an ass; and he didn’t know what the right move was. The last time he and Uraraka had spoken had been on decent but lukewarm terms at best since it had been during class. For all he knew, she wanted nothing to do with him.

Besides, he’d realized after talking with Monoma that what he wanted didn’t matter much. In the end, all that truly mattered was what Uraraka wanted. It didn’t matter if he liked her. It didn’t matter if he was filled with so much jealousy that he felt sick with it. If she didn’t like him, that was that. With the way he’d been acting, he wouldn’t be surprised if she only felt uncomfortable around him if he acted on how he felt or was honest with her.

The idea that he could be rejected seriously hadn’t occurred to him, if only because he’d kept telling himself that none of it mattered. Like some arrogant bastard, he had thought that only he was holding himself back. Now that another insecurity had been added into the mix, it made things all the worse.

By the time dinner rolled around, Kirishima couldn’t hold his curiosity in any longer, hunching over the table to block everyone else out of their conversation. “Okay, seriously, what gives, Bakugou? You’ve been acting weird all day, maybe even all week.”

“I’m fine,” Bakugou replied sharply, but without any actual heat. His gaze wasn’t on Kirishima, but had locked in on Uraraka when she slunk into the common area. She’d just come back from the gym with Deku and Todoroki, all sweaty, pink-faced, and exhausted. She looked great.

Kirishima sat back and shook his head. “That was scary. You’re way too calm.”

“I can be calm,” Bakugou snapped, tearing his eyes away from Uraraka briefly to glare at Kirishima before moving his gaze back over.

“That’s more like it.” Kirishima followed his gaze and sighed. “Just go talk to her.” Bakugou grit his teeth and returned to digging into his dinner with the sort of viciousness meant for wolves while they tore into a deer. He wasn’t going to respond to that. “The only one who doesn’t seem to know how you feel is her.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Bakugou demanded.

“I mean,” Kirishima continued, absolutely unafraid by the heat in Bakugou’s red eyes, “if it wasn’t obvious before by the way you freaking light up when she does something badass, you nearly having a nuclear meltdown whenever Monoma gets anywhere near her made it impossible to miss.”

Bakugou’s face flushed. Okay, so he’d known that his ability to put a cap on his jealousy had started to deteriorate, but he hadn’t realized it had been that bad even before. Had other people seen it and figured it out before Monoma and just not said anything to him? Why? Because they wanted him to come to this conclusion on his own or because they didn’t want to piss him off? Maybe they’d actually decided to give him some privacy and time. No, that was ridiculous. If either Kaminari or Ashido had known, they would’ve badgered him relentlessly.

Unless Kirishima, despite usually nosing his way into Bakugou’s business, had acted as a stop gate this time. After all, he and Ashido were close friends with Uraraka too. Did they know something that he didn’t?

“This is fucking stupid,” Bakugou grumbled. “I don’t have time for this.”

“You’re right,” Kirishima replied, pointing a chopstick at him. “You’re wasting all your time on this jealousy crap when you could be doing something about it.” When Bakugou frowned, he shrugged his shoulders and shoveled some more food into his mouth. Did he have to eat so fast? It wasn’t like he was a kid anymore. He swallowed and huffed. “She doesn’t like Monoma in that way if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I’m not,” Bakugou said flatly. (He was.)

“But you keep waiting around like a stick in the mud and she will find someone more worth her time or she might even grow to like Monoma,” Kirishima told him emphatically. “Because she’s awesome. You know it. I know it. Others will too. And you’re going to be left in the dust because you’re either too scared, too stupid, or too arrogant.”

Bakugou snorted. “Have you met me?”

Kirishima dared to crack a grin. “You’re right. Arrogant isn’t a strong enough word.”

“You’re shit at giving pep talks,” Bakugou said as he pushed aside his empty bowl. “You know that, right?”

“Well, it was either me or Mina,” Kirishima told him. “I think she already had a list of first date ideas planned that she was going to sell you on.” On second thought, yeah, he was great at giving pep talks. If it had been Ashido in his place, Bakugou would’ve likely blown a gasket. She was way more aggressive in her approach. “Now go on: be brave and get the fuck over yourself. You’re a huge pain in the ass when you’re jealous.”

Rolling his eyes, Bakugou grabbed his empty bowl and glass and took it into the kitchen to wash them. As if by some design of fate, Uraraka walked in as well. Tired as she was, her face wasn’t as flushed anymore. She brushed past him, mumbling an apology, and started to root through the cabinets, probably for something sweet to snack on. She’d never get over that sweet tooth.

“Top shelf on the left,” Bakugou told her. “Kaminari hides his candy there.”

Uraraka turned around to stare at him and then smiled. “Thanks!”

Using her quirk on herself, she floated to reach the space that he’d seen Kaminari kneel on the counter to reach. Upon finding his stash, she pushed down on the ceiling to get closer to the floor and then released her quirk. She took a piece of candy and popped it into her mouth, looking quite content with herself. After a moment’s hesitation, she held the bag out to him and, despite the fact that it wasn’t his favorite, he took a piece as well.

“Ugh, this was just what I needed,” Uraraka moaned.

Bakugou did not let that get to him, but he still rolled his shoulders. “A reward for going to the gym?”

“Exactly!” Uraraka exclaimed, pointing the bag of candy at him. “It’s a little trick. I can only get some candy if I meet my goal. Besides, we all deserve a little reward here and there.”

“You’re really pushing yourself hard, huh?”

“Well I’ve got to if I’m going to keep up with everyone else,” Uraraka said very seriously around a mouthful of candy. “I was so caught up in my first year how amazing people like you, Deku, and Todoroki were and how I should be more like you all that I wasn’t focused on myself.”

Bakugou sneered, but there wasn’t any rage behind it and she could tell. “Those nerds wish they were as amazing as me.” She laughed at that, though not mockingly or at him. Had it been anyone else responding like that, he might have bristled, but with her, it just made him feel good. She genuinely thought he was awesome. Granted, so did Deku, but he wasn’t going to get into that mess.

This was what he liked, these little conversations that the two of them slipped into without thinking. It was easy to talk to her. It was easy to talk with Kirishima too, but it felt different with her, somehow lighter. She could sass him just as much as his friends, but unlike with them, he felt this all-consuming urge to impress her, which tripped him up half the time and made him say something stupid.

“Listen, Uraraka, about the other day…”

“You were really mean,” Uraraka cut in, not leaving any room for his usual defensive bullshit.

“Yeah, I was.”

Uraraka frowned, pleased with his honesty but upset that it had happened in the first place. Bakugou wasn’t all that good at apologizing. In fact, it could probably be considered one of his weakest skills. As intelligent as he was, words failed him in those moments and the idea of lowering himself to that level grated on his nerves and made him uncomfortable. Bringing it up though was a step in the right direction.

“I’m used to you being an ass -- wouldn’t really be you if you weren’t -- but you’re normally not…” She glanced down at the candy. “You don’t go out of your way to hurt people’s feelings.”

“Yeah, I was acting out because…” Bakugou’s fingers twitched his sides. He didn’t want to talk about this. He could just apologize and move on. He’d get over this. Eventually, it had to fade away and he would look back on this moment years later and laugh about it. He didn’t need anyone else. He just… He just needed…

Are you really that weak that you’re going to let Monoma be braver than you?

“I was jealous,” Bakugou blurted.

Uraraka raised her eyebrows, clearly taken aback, and nearly dropped the bag of candy. “Jealous? Why? Of who?”

Bakugou growled irritably and held a hand over his eyes. Now that he was standing here talking with her about this, it sounded stupid. How much of an idiot could he be? “Monoma.” As soon as the word left his mouth, Uraraka burst out into laughter and had to put a hand over her mouth to muffle it so that the few people in the common area wouldn’t gawk at them. When he pulled his hand away, he was disgruntled to see that she was having trouble stopping herself. “It’s not that funny!”

“I mean…” Uraraka pulled her hand away and bit her lip. “It kind of is.” She giggled again. “ Monoma ? Really?”

“It’s stupid, okay?” The words began pouring out of him without a filter, which he was most definitely going to regret later but couldn’t stop right now. “He figured out that I like you and made fun of me, which could have been the end of it, but no, he just… It was like he was all over you. At first I thought he was just doing it to get under my skin, which pissed me off since I didn’t want him to use you like a tool to mock me, but then I started to think that he actually liked you and I-- Why wouldn’t he? What if it wasn’t about me at all but you? I was angry and confused and I didn’t know what to do--”

By the time he managed to cut himself off, absolutely red in the face, Uraraka was outright gawking at him like he’d grown a second head. What the fuck had just happened? He’d only come in here to apologize, not spill his guts like some sort of sap. He was breathing heavily and very aware of the fact that his heart was thundering in his chest like a rabbit being chased by a pack of dogs. In the back of his mind, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Deku told him that this was what happened when he held things in for too long. He did not need that right now.

“You, um, you like me?” Uraraka managed in a tone that said she was trying to be casual and failed.

Bakugou harrumphed. “Apparently it’s fucking obvious to everyone.”

“Wasn’t to me,” Uraraka said quietly.

“Me either,” Bakugou muttered. “Guess we’re both oblivious idiots.”

Uraraka watched him without saying anything for a while, as if gathering her thoughts. It made Bakugou want to squirm again, but he stood his ground. The ball was in her court now. He’d practically launched it at her and dared her to respond. Whatever she decided, he would respect. At least Kirishima had said that she didn’t like Monoma. She could like anyone else, even Deku or Todoroki or Iida, and he wouldn’t be upset. Disappointed? Fucking hell he would be, but that wasn’t something he could fight.

“So, jealous, huh?” Uraraka finally said. “Whatcha gonna do about it?”

“Well, ignoring it until it either goes away or I die hasn’t worked for me so far,” Bakugou replied dryly.

Uraraka smiled. “I’ve got an idea.”

Bakugou scoffed. “Oh yeah?”

“But you might be too scared,” Uraraka pointed out, her cheeks burning pink again like she’d run a mile.

“I’m not scared of shit,” Bakugou said heatedly.

Uraraka shrugged her shoulders. “You could take me on a date.” She popped a candy in her mouth. “Maybe you can even make Monoma jealous.”

A wolfish grin appeared on Bakugou’s face as they stared each other down. Judging from the way she wasn’t backing down in the slightest, he knew that she was serious. Granted, in his head, he’d always pictured being the one to ask her out on a date, but seeing as how he’d spent months avoiding this outcome, yeah, he should have expected it. Uraraka was a fighter. She gave as good as she got. It was one of the reasons he liked her so much in the first place.

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Bakugou said, burning with pride and really quite pleased with himself.

Uraraka giggled a little. “I’m expecting great things.”

“It’s gonna be the best fucking first date of your life,” Bakugou said and he meant it. Okay, so maybe he was going to have to find Ashido and figure out what sorts of ideas she had come up with, seeing as how he knew jack shit about dates, but he swore that it was going to be good. She was going to have so much fun. He wanted to kiss her right now, just for looking so infuriatingly cute eating Kaminari’s stolen candy, but he refrained himself. None of that mattered, not when for the first time in months, that old ugly feeling of jealousy was completely gone from his chest, making him feel lighter than air.

It turned out that the best way to get rid of it was to work through it. After being at U.A. for almost two years, he should have figured that out by now, but at least he was working on improving. That was all he could do. Without that monster clawing in the back of his mind though, he could already breathe easier. It didn’t matter what Monoma said or did. It didn’t matter what Bakugou said or did. It what Uraraka’s choice.

And she’d chosen him.

#katsuki bakugou #ochako uraraka #kacchako #monoma neito #bnha #bakuraka #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bakugou x uraraka #katsuki x ochako #uraraka x monoma #bnha fanfiction #kacchako discord #the things of songs

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