#karakamos

[boyd-seabiscuit]

Fall asleep in a public place in the middle of the day. Go for a walk. High five every shrub. Develop crushes on strangers. Cry in the middle of your room in the middle of the day. Chase every cat. Say hi even when your smile would do dull and your voice comes out hoarse. Thank all your bus drivers. Find a space that you feel secret and sacred to you. Create ritual for yourself. Find places and moments where you can hang out with your past selves. Try to be nice to them. Try to be nice to you. Look up. Try to imagine the alternative version of yourself that exist in the company of other people. Mock them, idolize yourself. Place lot of games with silence – watch it open up before you with possibilities and watch it challenge you in a staring contest. Sidle up next to it. Offer it some cheerios. Find a fictional loner pal. Figure out how to be alone together. Master your own “sullen broody” look, and make sure it doesn’t devolve into a sad pathetic one. Practice in the mirror if necessary. Walk alone at night lit up windows and all the lit up lives within them. Pause to see what’s on the TV if it’s angled your way. Listen to a lot of podcasts – alternatively, listen in on people’s conversation. Get angsty. Tell yourself you’re a lone wolf. Some people can’t handle being alone. Howl at the moon, mutter to yourself, whisper to stray cats, talk to the trees. Find a place where no one is around and shout out your favorite songs. Develop an intense bind with people who are also alone in public. Get personally offended when it’s revealed they were just waiting for friends. Wonder if you’ll get better at caring about other people the more you spend time with them. Wonder if you’re depressed or just an asshole. Wonder what the hell you’re supposed to be doing. Accept lonering as an ancient and noble art and everyone must learn at some point. Commit to excelling at it. Read all bathroom graffiti – forget to being a maker, and when you finally remember, realize you’re not sure what to say and you can’t hold up the line anyway. Stare at the stars. Wonder what kind of life form is out there and if it’s possible for it to be as cool and weird and boring as you. Make friends with your shadows. Forget that you are real. Forget what small talk is and what you’re supposed to care about. Eat by yourself. Talk to your grandpa, your grandma, your mom, your dad, your sister, and everyone else you encounter about the weather. Even though you’re bored of yourself as you do it you’re not bored of the weather. Talk to yourself in the mirror. Sing to yourself in the mirror. Dance wildly by yourself. Walk alone at night and resent every single person walking in a group and laughing together – just a little bit. Resent fictional depictions of friendships more intense than any relationship you’ve ever had in your entire life. Resent people talking about their friends or mentioning that they have friends or implying that they’ve ever talked to any other human being at all. Figure out how to do shit on your own. Go at your own pace. Create your own momentum. Delight in becoming an elemental being, a dreamy floaty glimmer of star girl no one can pin down. Accept that you are all of the above, but also an only occasionally-intriguing and permanently-pockmarked suburban flesh sack. Google people from your past you really don’t care about anymore anyway. Cultivate an awareness of your surroundings. Collect moments and create an inventory of smells and sounds and feelings to remember later. Observe all the people around you who you’ll never know – with awe, with despair, or with indifference, depending on the weather. Acknowledge that there are always going to be gaps between you and the rest of the world. Wallow in them. Get confortable in them. Make them into something. Revel in secret, inaccessible, magical, mundane inner world. Keeping going.

[datshq]

Cloud Watching - a Karakamo Playlist

Birdmen Week 2017: Free Day

In case you wondering why all my Birdmen Week fic titles sounded like song lyrics, I was putting together a playlist, both character and relationship focus. Enjoy!

Alec Benjamin - Journey to the Lowest Place on Earth The Doups - Alone in a Crowd In Her Own Words - I Would Sit Alone in Silence Abby Dobson - Cloud Watching The White Stripes - We Are Going to Be Friends Hearts & Colors - Lighthouse Crowbar - Symbiosis Scissor Sisters - Skin Tight Ellie Goulding - Love Me Like You Do Debby Boone - You Light Up My Life Bee Gees - How Deep Is Your Love Shinedown - I’ll Follow You Howie Day - Collide

[asking-jude]

Hi Jude ! I foud an amazing and inspiring video on YouTube and I thought I could share it with you and your followers to give some positivity to people who might feel depressed about themselves. It is called "On Being Ugly" by karakamos. It's mostly about beauty standards but what she says can be applied to any kind of situation. If you're feeling stupid, weak, depressed, just watch it, it'll change your vision of life (I hope). Lot of love to you all

Check it out, guys! Asking Jude also made a video on self-love (if you are interested). Here are both videos: 

“On Being Ugly” by karakamos 

A Guide from Self-Loathing to Self-Love by Asking Jude

Jude, a.k.a. Paige Gilmar

[antoniciu]

This is a girl on youtube, that has talked about beauty standards in today’s society and how being ugly shouldn’t stop us from doing all the things that we want to do.

Her youtube name is karakamos.

Honestly, this has opened my eyes in so many ways, it is unbelievable. And it is so pure, yet so empowering, at the same time…!

[pulgamon]

I AM UGLY

Since 2013 I have been re-watching this two videos every now and then.

There is something just so unconditionally relatable about them. Both videos are just so accurate and sincere that every time I feel real bad about something, they seem to be the best solution AND I feel like there is so many people that needs to hear this. IT IS truly helpful

~On being ugly, karakamos

~On empathy (response by Tessa Violet)

[flameintobeing]

karakamos replied to your post “apparently people equate looking young with having good skin, like...”

I get it, and I'm sorry, it sucks. But also, like, fuck the idea of "bad skin." Of scars and wrinkles as the enemy. Our society is so scared of age and so into glorifying a kind of youth & beauty that doesn't really exist it's messed up.

yeah you're right. I don't know what my idea of "bad skin" even is, it's like anything can be a cause for insecurity, old and young, and the ideal of youthful perfect skin doesn't exist... so yeah. thanks :)

[jenkinsknope]

Gone Girl, Gatsby, Goblet of Fire (I got stuck so I went with a "g" theme)

THIS IS SO HARD. I like all of these books like couldn’t rewrite Gone Girl cos dat plotting, was tempted to say make Gatsby longer but the story is told and it packs a punch and Goblet of Fire was my favourite HP book as a kid. I wouldn’t burn any of them. Basically, I suck and I’m not going to answer this properly.

[datshq]

Fic: What's symbiotic will always be surrounding each other for all eternity

Birdmen Week 2017: Symbiosis

Summary: Eishi has a bad babit that comes out when he kisses Kamoda. Relationships: Eishi/Mikisada romance

AO3 link

Eishi knew that Kamoda didn't like kissing. It wasn't that he found it unpleasant, Eishi knew that much. He knew how Kamoda would relax into it once it happened, how his lips would smile against Eishi's own and how he'd hug Eishi close when it happened. It wasn't the kissing itself that Kamoda disliked.

Kamoda enjoyed intimacy in general. Eishi had marvelled at it when their relationship had taken this new turn to romantic. It had been exciting how Kamoda didn't just want to hang out with Eishi but wanted to touch and hold him on a frequent basis.

Eishi still sometimes found himself warming at just the thought.

Regardless, despite Kamoda desiring and enjoying intimacy, including kissing, he always made that same exact face when Eishi requested a kiss.

The bridge of Kamoda's nose wrinkled, causing his eyes to narrow in a way that a person who didn't know him would consider threatening. In fact, it was more a look of avoidance and refusal, usually directed at homework rather than his boyfriend.

"Do we have to?" Kamoda asked, the expression not letting up. "Can't we just cuddle and play with the cats?"

"We can cuddle," Eishi replied easily. "But the cats have to go." Eishi grimaced. "I don't like being stared at when we canoodle."

"You're so tyrannical, Ei-chan." Kamoda's tone and smirk were both teasing, a sign that he was amused rather than offended by Eishi's decree. The fact that he shooed out the aforementioned cats furthermore proved that he wasn't upset. "Would you be this way with our kids someday in the future?"

'We can't have kids; we can't get married, let alone adopt,' wasn't what Eishi said as a retort, although the thought crossed his mind first. Instead, he clicked his tongue once on that thought before speaking out his second one: "You bet, kids don't want to see their parents necking."

"So you'd be the parent protecting your kids' sensibilities," Kamoda mused as he settled beside Eishi on the floor, wrapping his arms around the smaller body snugly.

"You've been listening to me." Eishi knew that 'sensibilities' was the kind of word he was most likely to use out of their group, so that's where Kamoda picked it up. Of course, Kamoda also listened to Eishi more than anyone else, so of course he'd pick things up. He slipped his arms under Kamoda's, mentally cursing that his smaller stature meant he was always stuck hugging Kamoda's waist. Weak.

Kamoda snickered against the top of his head. His thoughts had been heard and Eishi sent a wave of irritation at his boyfriend, who snuzzled the top of his head in placation.

"Hey." Eishi leaned more of his weight on Kamoda until the other got the hint and laid down on the tatami. Eishi slid up Kamoda's long torso until their cheeks touched. "Let's kiss."

It was easier to get his way when they were like this, cuddled up and cosy. Kamoda barely grimaced before sighing and smiling good-naturedly.

"Yeah, sure," Kamoda conceded and Eishi heaved his entire body on top of Kamoda's to reach properly. Eishi knew that his weight was barely anything to Kamoda, and he had convinced himself it was entirely because their transformations had made them stronger and not because Eishi was more squishy body fat than compact muscles.

Eishi must have thought about his stature a bit too loudly, because Kamoda's lips under his were stretched into a far too amused smile. Eishi grabbed Kamoda's face and kissed him extra intently just to show him up. Kamoda hummed as he returned the kiss and Eishi mused that kisses as punishment didn't seem to work too well when they left them both feeling this calm and soothed.

The two traded a couple of kisses before either of them broke the peace. It was Kamoda, who muttered, against Eishi's lips because neither of them wanted to split too far: "Don't bite me this time."

Eishi grunted in acknowledgement and just kissed Kamoda again. It was just something that happened. When they were close like this, Eishi hardly thought of anything other than Kamoda. When they shared body heat and exchanged touches, it felt like they'd melt into a single being and sometimes Eishi just rode that sensation, chasing for more closeness.

Kamoda's hands were in Eishi's hair, fiddling with the longer hairs at the back of his head. Eishi's own were pressed on Kamoda's cheeks, thumbs rubbing his cheekbones through warm skin.

'Mikisada', Eishi thought and Kamoda made a sound at having his first name spoken right into his mind. The only warming sign before Eishi's teeth clamped down on Kamoda's bottom lip and bit down.

There was barely enough time for Eishi to break skin before Kamoda's life force bit back, nipping at Eishi's own to heal the wound. The taste or iron mixed into the kiss, but Eishi ignored it in favor of the fleeting sensation of being connected to Kamoda so innately, for the briefest of moments.

It felt like they were a single organism. Like Kamoda wasn't a separate person that could be taken away, but an extension of Eishi himself. The ability Kamoda had been granted was perfect in every way, in Eishi's opinion.

Kamoda was the one who broke the kiss, making a disgusted 'blah' sound as he stuck his tongue out.

"Ugh, gross," he complained, one of his hands grabbing Eishi's entire head to push him away. "Now I taste blood, ugh, you always do this."

"Sorry not sorry," Eishi replied easily. He wondered if this time Kamoda had understood why he did this, what he chased after when biting him just enough to barely injure. Sharing body heat was one thing, but sharing life a completely another. Kamoda squinted up at him, but looked more accepting than ever before. He seemed almost welcoming.

Eishi leaned back down, and Kamoda let him.

They couldn't really become a single organism, but maybe they could get close enough.

[phoebewatsed]

Yup, she's glorious.

[jenkinsknope]

Psst, you know what you should do today? Go wish Kara happy birthday. Mainly, because she creates awesome videos such as this and this, but also because she's Canadian and apparently they're pretty lovely.

[messlia411]

Just something I've learned

Lately I've noticed a pattern. When put into words, it kinda seems like a no-brainer, but it is much easier said than done. People don't like to be told they're wrong. I'm not just talking about in arguments or debates. I'm talking about venting. Getting things off your chest. Word vomit (Too much? Sorry). 

I am currently reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. One point she made that resonated with me is to acknowledge the reality of people's feelings. Instead of contradicting what other people say or how they feel, let them know you are listening. Complaining that someone is complaining only makes the complainer want to complain more. Even simply repeating what they have said back to them brings down the tension. It shows that you are listening and you care about them and what they have to say.

Another instance that keeps popping up in my mind is a video that Tessa Violet did in response to On Being Ugly by karakamos. Kara talks about how she feels like she is ugly, and that's okay. Tessa points out that in the comments, some people wrote that she actually is pretty or that a little makeup would fix her problem. While these comments are surely made with good intentions, they can be easily misconstrued. They can come across as meaning that her feelings are false and do not matter, or that this problem is easily fixed, so suck it up. But being empathetic and just appreciating what she has to say can mean a lot. 

Today I was having a bad day. My job is pointless. The printer kept jamming for no reason. Nobody talks to me at work. I almost got in a wreck because the other person doesn't know how to use her blinkers (seriously people, it's not that hard). The list goes on, but I'll spare both of us the time. So I had to vent to the first person I could. Her response was basically for me to get over it. Obviously that didn't help. I just needed to yell and my only outlet was suddenly closed. Not a good feeling. What I was really looking for as my tears flowed and arms flailed was "I understand." 

The Happiness Project

Kara's video

Tessa's video

[never-missed]

All of my followers should watch this...

I know it went viral months ago, but I thought I'd repost it. 

If you're feeling low please watch this! It opened my eyes.

[flusteredme]

On Being Ugly by karakamos

She's wise. Listen to her, understand her message, and feel better.

If you like, watch meekakitty's response (x) too!

[heimlichhospital]

When my appearance really gets to me and I'm feeling really gross about it, I try to remember a few things. One is that I am beautiful in some way because I am a living thing and I think living things, to me at least, have some inherent beauty.

Youtube user Karakamos in her video On Being Ugly