dgmw i love ascended astarion because i love a tragedy. i love an ignored epiphany, a last minute pivot away from meaningful change. i love it when the poison drips through. but he is the last thing from hot (to me), he is pathetic— intentionally so. the way he loses his cool and screams at you if you even mention cazador, the way he whimpers and limps away if you kick his balls instead of attacking, him pretending an evil Durge will “sit naked on his lap”…it’s all very sad and i love it.
You guys. I’m upstairs and a bunch of family is downstairs and I can her my cousin talking about birthday gifts and she’s talking about getting me a djungelskog.
WAIT AS IM TYPING THIS SHE IS LAUGHING AT MY PINTEREST FULL OF JEREMY!!!!
Sister: “I hate Jeremy. He’s so ancient. She’s so obsessed with him.” Boo on her for hating my man. He’s so gorgeous.
Cousin: “isn’t he like 60? Like ewwww.”
Sister: “he’s like 48.”
Cousin: “her Pinterest is concerning”
HELP💀💀💀 they just don’t understand. He’s so sexy like how? Their taste in people is probably so dirt anyways so idc.
Imagine if they find the ones with “hungry” captions. Oh my god.
Not to keep harping on this but Tom/Greg is literally so fucking boring I find Greg in particular so annoying and boring and I think the show would have been 1000x better without him