#klernt

[incorrect-ionians]

Mottle: What time is it?

Klernt: I dunno. Pass me that saxophone and I’ll find out.

Klernt: [BLASTS the saxophone as loud as goblinly possible]

Granny: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING???

Klernt: It’s 2am.

[tytumbles]

Posting some old fanart drawings of an online D&D campaign I've binge-watched. I love these little green hooligans.

[makowo]

love how the kaasma khara plotline has sooo much stuff going on that the goblins know pretty much nothing abt. like what even are half of these locations and people

[piteousfangirl]

Tremmer reading Klernt’s letter after a long day of being sent to a necromancer’s cave, learning a dead language, finishing off the last of an ancient race, consuming the soul of his mentor, and becoming a lich. 

[incorrect-ionians]

Klernt: There’s no I in “team” but there is one in “pizza.”

Mottle:

Mottle: So you’re not gonna share?

Klernt: I’m not gonna share.

[incorrect-ionians]

Layton: You're telling me Peekel knew exactly what we needed to beat Kaasma Khara this entire time and you didn't tell anyone?!?!

Klernt: What? She says insane shit all the time! How was I supposed to know this one was true?!

Peekel: Bank accounts ees a scam invented by the shadow government~!

Klernt: SEE?!?!

[incorrect-ionians]

Mottle: And that’s when it hit me: the best idea I’d ever had in my entire life…!

[jump-cut]

Klernt: That’s the worst idea you’ve ever had in your entire life.

[incorrect-ionians]

Peekel, pointing into the distance: Look!

Kobold: [stands ominously atop a cliff, looming over the goblins]

Klernt: Drop 'em!

Mottle: [fires an arrow, instantly killing it]

Several More Kobolds: [begin to pop up behind the corpse of their deceased companion]

Skagzag: Shit.

Even More Kobolds: [rise into view atop the cliff, their numbers nearly a thousand strong...]

Mottle: Fuck, that's like ten!

[incorrect-ionians]

Skagzag: Imagine sticking your tongue on a stranger's car on a cold day and getting stuck.

Mottle: Why...?

Skagzag: To ruin everyone's day. Imagine being late for work because of that. Just calling in like, "hey, sorry, I'll be late today. Some idiot got stuck on my car."

Klernt: I'd probably just get in, lock the doors, and drive.

Peekel: Ooh, ees brutal.

[incorrect-ionians]

Skagzag: Do you guys ever wonder what your life would be like without me?

Skagzag: Would it be nice and more peaceful?

Skagzag: Or would you be bored because nothing unexpected ever happened?

Klernt: ...Why are you asking this like that?

Skagzag: The bathtub is full of electric eels and I can't get them out.

[incorrect-ionians]

Mottle: Peekaboo is just making fun of babies for not having object permanence.

Klernt: I’ve made fun of babies for less.

[makowo]

new hyperfixation but it's on a dnd series. and not even like a well known one like critical role

[makowo]

tomato inventing capitalism and causing a domino effect where there's a nuclear waste situation in io phase 3 is sending me

[makowo]

HEY??? HEY???????

[makowo]

losing it over the klernt brain slug situation. it's so fucked up

[makowo]

and that work begins today

the goblins of io character wiki is such a mess. someday i'll fix her