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liam-93-productions · 4 years

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I remember meeting Liam Payne once before. I was writing the cover story on One Direction for this very magazine four years ago and, finally, after endless tail chasing and schedule clashes, I managed to pin all five members down backstage at the O2 shortly before they played to what seemed like a bazillion screaming teenagers. The air was heavy with the fug of Haribo Starmix and raging hormones; even at that point the band were already more popular than The Beatles in some circles. Or, as John Lennon would have put it, Jesus.

The band members were courteous and convivial. One certainly got the impression that their time wasn’t their own, although any cracks that would end up splintering the band some years later were kept well hidden. I remember Payne for being perhaps the most grounded out of all five of them. He seemed to have an ease with his status and fortune that kept his ego in check. He seemed genuinely bamboozled at the hysteria going on around them. He was a young, ambitious pop star caught in fame’s full beams.

Last week, in some respects, a very different man sat down for an exclusive chat with GQ Hype. He’s certainly more hench, as this exclusive shoot with fashion photographers Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott prove. Whoa. We talked about his sizzling new underwear campaign with Hugo Boss, his first nude shoot (which may well be his last if his dear mother has anything to do with it) and we reminisced about his One Direction days, a period which he came out of shaken, sure, but not completely upside down or inside out.

He’s been through a great deal since the end of being one fifth of the biggest boy bands in history – drink problems, therapy, (...), anxiety – but at his core he’s still that same multi-talented, hard-working boy from Wolverhampton, honest about his faults and still excited to see where all this is taking him. Undoubtedly, he’s a man who wears his heart on his sleeve. Well, when he’s wearing any sleeves at all...

GQ: So how’s the build-up to the debut album, LP1?

Liam Payne: Good, can’t complain. Just rewriting a lot of things in my world at the moment. That’s why I was in with my top, top manager for a while just reconfiguring things towards the end of the year.

What are you reconfiguring?

Well, we just kind of ticked off album one. The writing process was interesting to say the least. I mean, it was almost like blind dating in LA with different writers, and when that happens it’s hard to get traction, or get to know anyone properly, or let your guard down in a way. You feel like you’re going into different rooms all the time, with different styles. There are so many things that can affect the writing unless you find that one person who can carry you all the way through a record. Post Malone has a producer called Louis Bell, whom he works with, and there's a common stitch throughout the whole thing that kind of puts it all together properly, whereas we never really found that.

How come that never materialised?

I was going through a bunch of stuff when we started writing the album – growing up and all sorts of different shit coming out of the band. So for me it wasn't the best entry into the writing side of it and making personal music rather than writing for a band. So it was difficult, but I mean the album is done and coming out and I absolutely love it and it's just interesting to see that my favourite is from when I was younger. The first albums I listened to actually helped create my first album, so super cool.

It sounds like it’s been a long process getting the debut album finished?

It’s been, since “Strip That Down” really, the best part of two maybe three years to get everything finished. And it was difficult. I mean, it's opening up at first and trying to figure out who you are and what people want to know from you. And what the sound is. Trying to find that medium point for all those things. It's just the most difficult thing, especially at a young age when you're constantly changing and you don't really know yourself yet. We spent the best part of five years in a band closed off from the world and I had to go through this really weird transition inside that band as the world, and then myself, came out of it. I mean, even in my therapy sessions, my therapist asked me, “What do you actually like to do?” And I'm like, “I don’t know what I like doing!”

Most people presumed you came out of One Direction fully formed. That wasn’t the case?

Everything changed. New teams, new managers, new labels. Building those working relationships can be tricky. You also become the boss of your own shit, and I was 21, 22 when I first started doing my own thing, so it’s all a bit scary and can be a bit lonely. That’s not a complaint; it's also a lot of fun as well. We have a great time. Now the band members have all worked our way through this first couple of years, you can kind of see everyone's finding their own feet. Take Harry [Styles] at the moment. You know, he's just found what I think is his sound and exactly where he wants to be, which took him a little minute to get into since he had his last album out. So, yeah, it just takes time.

Towards the end of One Direction, were you aware of everyone’s own tastes developing?

I think so. I mean, for me, someone like Louis [Tomlinson] always had a very specific taste – things like Green Day, that was the era he was from... also Oasis and old Robbie Williams. Harry always played an eclectic mix of stuff too. I can always remember the one time Harry put Rick Springfield’s “Jessie's Girl’ on and I had never really heard it before but it was an interesting choice. I liked it nevertheless. And then for me, I mean, when I wrote “Better Than Words” for the last 1D album, it had a different rhythm for us, something we hadn’t done before. So you could definitely see those unique tastes early on. I think funnily enough it was through fashion and style that our own perspectives could be seen most of all, all hints of what was to come for us. We would always wear black on stage, black skinny jeans and a black T-shirt, but maybe we’d add something else as individuals. I remember Harry having these cool rings, for example, and then he’d go crazy with his shirts as time went on. Saying that, I think Louis still dresses pretty much the same as he used to.

Was it competitive with the other band members?

I mean, for me personally, I don't think I ever really looked at it that way. I think the biggest question for all of us at the start was figuring out who the hell we were without each other around, which is a really weird thing because you’d found your dynamic and role within the band. But then when you started a solo thing it was almost like leaving like school or university and trying to find your place within the real world. So I think it was more the pressure of that than anything else, rather than us competing with each other on, like, dress sense or vibe or even the music.

You mentioned therapy. Was that while you were still in the band?

I went into therapy a couple years after leaving. I kind of went off the rails a little bit and just couldn't really figure out what was making me sad. So, you know, my team got somebody around to help me through a couple of different, difficult things that I was going through. I was just trying to figure myself out. It was just such a strange course through life, and then when the switch turns off you're left to your own devices...

Did it throw you off when the band’s scheduled just stopped? Going from having a two-year plan to not even having a two-day plan?

I mean, yeah, we went through a really weird retirement phase. It’s quite funny, when my dad retired, I was telling him what to expect: first off, you're not going to get out of bed for ages, and then all of a sudden you get an urge to get out of bed all the time and start trying to do stuff just to seem like you are doing things. But I think everyone in the band went through this really weird retirement phase and trying to switch off. For me, I remember standing in my garden at my house and just looking around thinking, “It's been a lot of fun, but what do I do now that’s done? What actually happens at this point? Who do I call? Who is the ‘point of’ person?” I just didn't really know what was going to happen; a very strange thing to be involved in. All of it is weird, but that was a real strange moment. But things pick up and slowly you start getting back into the groove again.

Were you worried about not being famous any more? Or making music? About it all just stopping?

Actually, no. I kind of always knew that something would happen. I just didn't know what the hell it was going to be. And that was the scariest part of it. You just didn't really want to make a fool of yourself at that point. I think after such a long legacy of your band being absolutely amazing, the most important thing was make sure you don’t step off that pedestal; don't embarrass yourself. The biggest worry was don't ruin the legacy.

Let's talk about the underwear campaign with Hugo Boss. These are some incredible photographs taken by Mert and Marcus…

It got very raunchy very quickly. I hadn’t been properly warned about the amount of nudity Mert and Marcus do in their work, let's say. Mert’s actually become a really good friend now. We were in his house to three in the morning the other day singing karaoke, which is so funny. Yeah, I mean, really great to work with. I think everyone was quite surprised early on that they wanted to work with me and it kind of gave us a little nod and an entry into working in fashion proper.

Had you always wanted to land an underwear campaign?

Before we landed the deal with Hugo Boss I’d gone into my gym and said, “I'm going to get an underwear commercial.” I just wanted to do it; I knew I could do it. And then it actually happened! And I worked my ass off and I'm still hitting the gym: I didn't realise once you get on that thing you can't really turn it off. You've got to keep it going. Like I said, it’s been a lot of training and being an athlete and working out – it became 90 per cent of my job for the best part of a year leading up to that shoot, which was crazy. Come 2019 everyone's a lot more open about body image and I wanted to get in shape. Not to show off my body to anyone else, I just knew that’s what would give the confidence on set. I didn’t want to arrive not ready and not looking like I’d worked hard to get there. But what a thing to do and then to go on to designing clothes for Hugo Boss too – an amazing experience. We actually had the first design meeting [for the clothing line] here and I remember in the car on the way to the meeting thinking, “What have you got yourself into?” That always seems to happen to me. I was lucky enough to spend some time with a friend of mine, Kim Jones [artistic director at Dior menswear], and he gave me some great advice: “It’s the same as music: once you’ve had a hit you know what people want from you.” And I took that with me into the design meeting and used that to help the whole process. Find the hit and make it work.

Have you done a nude shoot before?

No! Well, not a planned one, at least. There was a lot of tequila involved for this shoot. I mean, the first day we did most of the shots for the capsule collection and then the last shots were the box shots for the front of the underwear packaging – which was just like, “Wow, I get to be the guy on the box,” which was a real moment. I’d never take that for granted. And then like the next day, we set up again and the model, Stella Maxwell, she's in the shoot with me. And it just ended up being a lot more naked than I thought it was – and for her as well. She was also naked. And I was just, you know, “Don’t look!” She was naked behind me and I was thinking, “Liam, don’t look whatever you do.”

Talk to me about the curtain shot...

Wow. Yes, I mean it was just a room full of five or six people and a hell of a lot of tequila to get me to this level. I was standing there and all of a sudden it was, “Right, OK, take them off.” I'm like, “Really? Take them off? Off, off? Like on-the-floor off? Oh, my God.” And there was a real hollow moment afterwards where I was sitting outside smoking a cigarette thinking, “I have basically just shot soft-core porn.” For one, my mum is going to kill me. For another thing, I don’t know how far this is going to go... That was just the first shot! It was a lot of fun to shoot but my mum wasn’t best pleased. There’s this really raunchy shot of me and Stella, and I showed my mum. She took one look at it and gave me a clip round the ear. All I was thinking was, “I better not tell her about the London buses!”

Still, your parents must be very proud?

The One Direction thing was enough. Just to get to that level. I would have happily walked away at that point. But now with all the other things I have managed to achieve, not least this underwear campaign with Hugo Boss, it’s meant a lot to me personally. I think it’s got me closer to those men whom I respect so much, people like David Beckham and Brad Pitt, such icons in their own lifestyles. It’s a real pinch-me moment. I can’t believe it hasn’t all burnt down to the ground yet, to be honest.

You mentioned a bad patch, a depression of sorts?

There was a lot of stuff. I was drinking too much and getting into really bad, bad situations for quite some time actually. And I hit a peak moment where I knew the drinking was going to get me; I needed to do something about it. I spent a lot of time drinking to escape the crazy world that I had created for myself. I didn't know what I was doing. That first therapy session and being like, “I don't even know what I like or anything about myself” – it was pretty scary stuff. I was afraid of how far my career was going and that it might go even further. You can say, “Who is afraid of success?” But that’s what it entails sometimes. Success has got the better of me on more than one occasion. When I am losing I tend to concentrate more.

Did you stop drinking for a bit?

Yes, I got sober for about a year, cutting down so the only vice was cigarettes. I hadn't planned to go sober forever, it was more important for me to say I didn't actually didn't need to drink. I wanted to prove it. I did the whole year, no booze completely, and at that point I didn’t actually know being sober was making my life any better. Things went up, but things like my social life plummeted. I was the biggest recluse on the planet. I would get up at 5am and go running in the park, but at night I would be in bed by 7pm. Is that a way to live your life? And in a strange way I am trying to still figure all that out and get the balance right between being a party animal and being an animal in the gym – the latter not being fun at all. We are all at fault; we all need balance.

So, 12 December: Boris or Jeremy?

I think I will vote but I am always out of the country. We need a mobile app where we can vote with our thumbprint or something. I mean, in regards to Boris or Jeremy, I don't think we give people enough time. Same with West Brom football club. They always change their manager every week it seems and we never get time to gel with anybody. So it's like, if I was changing my manager every week, I'd probably be really shit too. We need to give someone a chance to at least have a proper go of it or it will never be fixed. Also, I don't think it's always the one person that's to blame. Take Winston Churchill, people hated him at first, thought he was a drunk, that he had no clue, [wondered] what’s he doing going to war. Maybe we should all just be more like Winston Churchill.

Zayn has been through his own difficulties with fame and anxiety...

I think for anybody entering into these talent shows we do them for specific reasons. And I've often asked myself this question a bunch of times because we all went through it. You know, for me, as I was younger, from my own experience, I entered the show because I wanted to make my dad proud. Fast forward ten years and here we are in his office, talking about an album and an underwear campaign – incredible. But here’s the thing: you just don't know until you get there whether you're built for this or not. For Zayn, he loves music and he's an amazing talent. He genuinely was the best singer in One Direction, hand on heart, out of all of us. But for him to get to a point where, you know, he can't step on a stage? It's a lot. I mean, he's doing great. His streaming numbers are ridiculous but I do think he misses out on the performance side a bit, you know. He can't seem to get past that part. We all have it. I mean, I have this, like, brain fart syndrome: I was on medication for a while, and it was something to do with epilepsy, but I was using it for something else. And it was to do with anxiety for me too, fully prescribed, but I didn't realise that [on the medication] certain lights made me forget, well, everything. I totally forgot who I was. And lyrics. It still happens. I have a fear of it now. It happens all the time. So we all have our little beasties in that sort of scenario. But this era of talent shows, it is dangerous and some people just don’t know what they are getting into.

Did you want to reach out to him?

I did, yeah. I didn’t want him to feel like he was going through this all alone in some ways, or that we were all out to get him. We're the only people who know what you're going through. The only five people who know what you are going through were all in a room together once, and you left – fair enough – but you don’t want anyone going through such evils for no reason. But it got to a point with me where I wouldn’t know where to begin with Zayn. I hope he has good people around him, but I don’t at this stage think it’s anything the rest of us can solve.

Are there still grudges between the five of you?

Definitely in some part, yeah. We had our differences throughout the whole experience with some things. I still think about some stuff that was said and done that now I would do differently, but then that's all part of growing up. Being in One Direction was such a schoolyard mentality somehow – the One Direction University, I call it. Everyone has stuff they’ve said at parties they wished they hadn’t but, for us, the difference was that it was all happening in front of the world. Now we are older, for me certainly there are things that I am just not as bothered about. I think with Zayn’s particular exit and the way he chose to go, we haven’t really heard from him since he left. He didn’t even say goodbye, if I am being honest. It was a really sordid scenario, from our side certainly. A bit strange. It’s difficult.

The Hugo x Liam Payne bodywear collection is available now. Payne’s debut album, LP1, is out 6 December and available to pre-order now.

#liam payne #british gq #hugo boss #hugo bodywear #lp1 #liam's interviews #04.11.2019

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1dreality · 4 years

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Last week, in some respects, a very different man sat down for an exclusive chat with GQ Hype. He’s certainly more hench, as this exclusive shoot with fashion photographers Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott prove. Whoa. We talked about his sizzling new underwear campaign with Hugo, his first nude shoot (which may well be his last if his dear mother has anything to do with it) and we reminisced about his One Direction days, a period which he came out of shaken, sure, but not completely upside down or inside out.

He’s been through a great deal since the end of being one fifth of the biggest boybands in history – drink problems, therapy, marriage, fatherhood, anxiety – but at his core he’s still that same multi-talented, hard-working boy from Wolverhampton, honest about his faults and still excited to see where all this is taking him. Undoubtedly, he’s a man who wears his heart on his sleeve. Well, when he’s wearing any sleeves at all...

GQ: So how’s the build-up to the debut album, LP1?

What are you reconfiguring?

How come that never materialised?

It sounds like it’s been a long process getting the debut album finished?

Most people presumed you came out of One Direction fully formed. That wasn’t the case?

Towards the end of One Direction, were you aware of everyone’s own tastes developing?

Was it competitive with the other band members?

You mentioned therapy. Was that while you were still in the band?

Did it throw you off when the band’s scheduled just stopped? Going from having a two-year plan to not even having a two-day plan?

Were you worried about not being famous any more? Or making music? About it all just stopping?

Let's talk about the underwear campaign with Hugo. These are some incredible photographs taken by Mert and Marcus…

Had you always wanted to land an underwear campaign?

Before we landed the deal with Hugo I’d gone into my gym and said, “I'm going to get an underwear commercial.” I just wanted to do it; I knew I could do it. And then it actually happened! And I worked my ass off and I'm still hitting the gym: I didn't realise once you get on that thing you can't really turn it off. You've got to keep it going. Like I said, it’s been a lot of training and being an athlete and working out – it became 90 per cent of my job for the best part of a year leading up to that shoot, which was crazy. Come 2019 everyone's a lot more open about body image and I wanted to get in shape. Not to show off my body to anyone else, I just knew that’s what would give the confidence on set. I didn’t want to arrive not ready and not looking like I’d worked hard to get there. But what a thing to do and then to go on to designing clothes for Hugo too – an amazing experience. We actually had the first design meeting [for the clothing line] here and I remember in the car on the way to the meeting thinking, “What have you got yourself into?” That always seems to happen to me. I was lucky enough to spend some time with a friend of mine, Kim Jones [artistic director at Dior menswear], and he gave me some great advice: “It’s the same as music: once you’ve had a hit you know what people want from you.” And I took that with me into the design meeting and used that to help the whole process. Find the hit and make it work.

Have you done a nude shoot before?

Talk to me about the curtain shot...

Still, your parents must be very proud?

The One Direction thing was enough. Just to get to that level. I would have happily walked away at that point. But now with all the other things I have managed to achieve, not least this underwear campaign with Hugo, it’s meant a lot to me personally. I think it’s got me closer to those men whom I respect so much, people like David Beckham and Brad Pitt, such icons in their own lifestyles. It’s a real pinch-me moment. I can’t believe it hasn’t all burnt down to the ground yet, to be honest.

You mentioned a bad patch, a depression of sorts?

Did you stop drinking for a bit?

So, 12 December: Boris or Jeremy?

Zayn has been through his own difficulties with fame and anxiety...

Did you want to reach out to him?

Are there still grudges between the five of you?

#liam payne #liam's solo project #liam's promo #liam for gq #liam's album #liam on 1d #ziam #lirry #lilo #liam on mental health #liam & fashion #liam for hugo boss #liam on politics #Well isn't liam chatty........

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lestered · 5 years

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Questions! -Whats your fave animal? - do you have a fave breed of dog/other animal? -do you like houseplants? Do you own any houseplants? -do you like scented candles or scented stuff? What's you fave scent of that item? -what albums have you listen to reccently? (I need recs!) -fav quotes from Dan and Phil? (you can choose however many you want!) -Do random things D&P have said pop into your head at random times? (this happens so much it distracts me constantly) Hole you're doing well ♥ -🌊

ahhh so happy to hear from you again babe!

fave animal: depends if you’re talking domestic or wild i guess, domestic is probably a tie between dog and bunny which is kind of unfortunate because i probably wouldn’t be able to own both at the same time, at least not with my current dog because i’m almost positive that when left to her own devices with a bunny she’d try to eat it. but if we’re talking wild animals, then it’s a babirusa, mostly because of an inside joke between me and my brother from when we were kids but i also just think they’re neat.

i do like houseplants, i think they do a lot to spruce up a living space and make it seem more homey, but i don’t have any of my own because i know from past experience that i’m shit at remembering to water them and then i get sad when they die (weird thing about that i guess, i find it so much easier to care for animals that run around and make noise and constantly remind you that they’re there and need you to take care of them, rather than something that just sits in a corner that you can forget about v easily. that’s why i think the whole “if phil can’t take care of a houseplant then how’s he gonna take care of a dog” thing is pretty bullshit)

i love scented candles, i’m not sure i have a particular favorite scent though. i love seasonal/holiday scents when the time is right, like cinnamon apple or pumpkin spice around fall, or woodsy/fireside type ones around christmas. but just normally, i really like calming herbal scents like lavender and eucalyptus, or just like the generic fresh-scent ones.

oooh i’m kinda shitty when it comes to music recs, recently i’ve been re-listening to a lot of old pop punk albums that i was really into as a teenager (like all time low put up or shut up, p!atd pretty, odd., mcr three cheers for sweet revenge, mayday parade anywhere but here, etc), i’ve also been re-listening to a lot of old 1d stuff so like if you’re looking for new music i unfortunately don’t have much to offer atm because i’m on a nostalgia binge

some fave dnp quotes in no particular order:

“i believe in science, sadness, and the color gray”

“i’m just phil from rossendale, and now people are screaming for me because i make youtube videos”

“it’s okay. you’re okay. you were born this way. it’s right.”

“if you’re insulting people on the internet, you must be ugly on the inside”

“normalness leads to sadness”

“why do they call it spoons”

“i’m gonna go change the world in ways you could not believe”

“always go with your first instinct, unless it’s to stroke a bee”

“i will find you in any world, phil”

“he smells like warm”

“you could go swimming in those eyes”

“stop being so damn pretty dan howell”

“oi he’s mine”

“and there was me and phil in the corner with matching haircuts and skinny jeans. i feared for our lives”

“i’m so glad i failed. for so many reasons.”

“i’m gay, it’s great, i’m happy, and hopefully you’re happy for me too. if not, i hope you have a think about why you want a fellow human to be unhappy and not true to who they are, and if that’s a healthy mindset to have”

i do have random dnp stuff pop into my head at times. a lot of the stuff is when they weirdly address people by specific names (like not specific people but they use specific names) ie “great dungarees timothy” “stop masturbating while watching danandphilgames while you’re high, greg” “would you like to tinker in my toolbox, said…. roger” because it makes me laugh, also stuff that they say that they instantly regret saying ie “she’s a pee witch…i instantly regret saying that” “i’ll hit your mum’s box…..no i did not say that i did NOT say that” (it’s usually phil) just because those are the moments where i’m like wow you’re disasters and ily

ty for the questions ♡

come talk to me in general or send me🎤+ an ask and i’ll voice record my response

#ask #anon #🌊

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littledreamybeth · 7 years

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Surprise (Harry Styles x Reader)

A/N: This imagine especially goes for the girls who aren’t or weren’t able to meet the boys. Girls I really feel with you because neither did I met Harry or the other boys. But don’t give your hopes up! Maybe you’ll meet them one day, who knows? And to those people, who already did meet them, please share your experiences with me! I’m dying to know them! Btw, I’m so fucking excited for today! I’ve been waiting for this day since “Sign of the Times” was released and I can’t wait to see him performing again!!! And as Harry would say, All the love and I really hope you enjoy this imagine! I appreciate feedbacks, no matter if they are positive or negative! xo B.

Ever since I was a teenager, my heart was conquered by the most famous boy band in the entire world. Their music has been accompanying me through my puberty stage. They also saved my life and I would be always grateful for that. I was fourteen years old as I started to fancy them. Those times were pretty hard for me. My family was falling apart. My parents decided to divorce and their decision hit me like a brick. I was never the same after this.

So it felt good to listen to their music because it was the only thing that would soothe me during my time of loneliness. I barely talked to my parents, it hurt to see how two persons who used to love each other so dearly ignoring themselves. I needed time to regain my strength and carry on with my live.

So special thanks to One Direction. The biggest boy band in the 21st century. I was glad to get to know them. I still remember my walls being plastered with thousands of posters and pictures. I owned every album and perfume, I still do by the way. One Direction meant more to me than just a boy band. They were my heroes and perfect role models for teenagers nowadays. Also belonging to the 1D fandom was a great honor and pleasure to me and I loved being a part of them so dearly.

And still with my 22 years, I still adored them with my whole heart. Now that they were being in a break, things got strange somehow. I really missed them. I loved all of them but one of them stole my heart from the very first moment I saw him. His wonderful green eyes and his cute dimpled smile were burnt into my head forever. Whenever I saw him in an interview, talking and interacting with the interviewer, my heart skipped a beat and a wide grin made its way up on my lips.

His transformation was fucking remarkable. I mean, you just have to look at him in his X-factor times and compare him with today’s Harry. How did he manage some sort of transformation?! He looks handsome as ever and shit, I would do anything to meet him, even for a second.

Yes, I belonged to the fans who never got the chance to see him or the other boys in real life. And that fact hurt pretty much. Every time I asked myself why I could not just meet them? When I was 15, I wanted to visit their concert but unfortunately I had no money to afford a ticket. I cried for days.

My dearest wish was to be hold by Harry, his arms being wrapped around me into a secured and protective hug, his voice telling me not to cry. But I just could dream of it.

And also with 22 years, I still hadn’t met him. Not yet.

***

“Hey (Y/N), it’s break time!” My best friend called as she entered my office, taking a seat in front of me and placing her feet on my desk. I took a look at the clock. It was exactly 2 PM. I leaned back on my chair, rubbing over my eyes with my hands. After working non-stop for six hours I became really tired. I worked for a designer company in New York and we were about to make a new collections for the summer. So I spent my whole day with drawing and drawing some ideas. And I have to say I liked the most of them.

“Would you please put down your feet from my desk?” I sighed. Then, I opened my cupboard, taking a sandwich out of it. I unwrapped the foil and bit into my delicious sandwich.

My friend and also my co-worker took a sip of her cappuccino. “So (Y/N), any plans for your birthday?” I just roll my eyes at her question. She knew I was too busy to celebrate my birthday this year however she insisted and tried to convince me to do otherwise. She’s been like this for a whole month now.

The closer my birthday came, the more suspicious my friends acted. I was aware that they planned a big surprise for me but I couldn’t tell what. Otherwise, I could always tell what they were planning but this time I was completely oblivious about it.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, babe! We’re going celebrate your birthday like every year.” My friend looked at me with a stern expression on her face.

“(Y/F/N), I’m very busy this year and you know it. I have no time for any celebrations. We have to concentrate on the new collections.”

“But baby, you already work and work without taking any break. You need to cool down a bit! Work isn’t running away.”

I sighed and surrendered because I knew, no matter how much I resist, she wouldn’t leave me alone.

“Fine!” I grumbled, earning an exited screech from her. I held my hands over my ears.

“You won’t be disappointed about your present. I promise!” She told me.

I took my water bottle and drank out of it. However, what my friend said in the next moment made me almost spill out the whole content in my mouth on my drawings.

“What did you just said?” I exclaimed.

She acted like it wasn’t anything excited. But for me it meant the whole world. She looked at me weirdly. “Calm down, babe. I just said that Harry Styles is in town.”

Immediately, my heart beat increased and I felt my cheeks getting warm.

“Woah, (Y/N), you’re trembling!” My friend remarked. “If I knew you would react this way, I wouldn’t have told you.”

“W-where do you know that?” I asked her, trying to keep my voice straight.

“You know I’m watching the news and listening to the radio. I’m not like you who locks herself up in her office and isolates herself from life.” She laughed slightly.

“I’m not isolating myself.”

“Yeah sure.”

“But I don’t think that I’ll meet him even though he’s in New York. I mean he could be anywhere,” I sighed. My friend knew about my heavy crush on Harry Styles. The whole office knew actually. They would catch me how I would talk about him constantly. When he released “Sign of the Times” I couldn’t stop but telling everyone how brilliant this song was. I practically forced them to listen to it. Yeah, since everybody knew they wouldn’t stop teasing me about it.

“You never know, babe. Don’t give your hopes up,” my friend remarked.

“You know I’m never lucky when it comes to my favorite celebrity. Everybody meets him. Everyone but me.”

“You’re thinking to negative, (Y/N). Just look forward on your birthday, okay? We’re going to have so much fun!”

She looked at the clock and saw that our twenty minutes break was almost over. “I’m heading back to my office. I see you around, girl. And do not make a sad face okay? I’m sure one day you’ll meet him.” She offered me a smile before she opened the door and left. Little did I feel that she knew something.

***

My birthday finally arrived. I didn’t feel very excited about that but my friends in the office freaked out for an unknown reason. I received some congrats and lovely hugs from everybody.

“You’re finally 23!” Alyssa, a very cute girl from the office told me, her voice showing a trace of joy.

“Yeah,“ I mumbled. “Finally 23.”

“Okay, girl,” My friend grabbed my shoulders, smiling at me. “You’re not allowed to enter the conference room till tonight. We’ll send somebody to get you, alright?”

“Sure,” I said. After that everybody went back to working.

Hours and hours passed by fast and as someone knocked on my door I just realized that it was already 8 PM. Wow, I really worked that much?

“(Y/N)?” It was Alyssa who opened the door and came in. She is such a lovely and wonderful girl. She is definitely one of my favorite co-workers.

“Hey, Ally!” I greeted her. She clapped her hands.

“Are you ready?”

“I think so,” I said. I was kind of nervous though. Who would know what was waiting for me in the conference room?

Alyssa came towards me and took my hand.

“I have to ask you to close your eyes and only to open them when you’re told, okay?”

I nodded my head and closed my eyes. “Alright.”

Alyssa pushed me slightly forward. “And no cheating!”

“I won’t!” I called.

Alyssa guided me securely and safe to the conference room. I heard her knocking on the hard wooden door. Someone opened it. I could perceive some whispers in the background as I was pushed further into the room. My heart felt like I would explode in my chest.

“Okay, (Y/N)!” I heard my friend. “You can open your eyes now.”

And I did. What I’ve seen took my breath away. The walls around me were decorated so beautifully and balloons were hanging everywhere. There was also a big poster and “Happy birthday to our wonderful (Y/N)” was written on it. They also have removed the desks to the side so the middle of the room could be used as a dance floor. I really wanted to cry. I had such beautiful friends and I was grateful for that.

“Do you like it?” Alyssa asked.

I shook my head in agreement. “Yes, fuck, yes I love it! Thank you so much guys!” I breathed out, struggling with my tears.

“If you already love this,” My friend said. “Then you’ll love your present even more.” I looked at her questioningly.

“Turn around, (Y/N).” She smiled softy.

And as I turned around, it felt like everything around me stopped for a second. My eyes meet with some enchanting green eyes that I longed to see in real life for so many years now. There he stood in front of me and handsome as ever, holding a beautiful red rose in his hand.

I didn’t know how to react, I was utterly shook and very surprised. I was expecting everything but this. I finally met him. My biggest celebrity crush, the king of my world, the key to my heart, the reason for my smile. Harry Styles.

He smiled at me gently and handed me over the rose. I grabbed it with my shaky hands. I tried hard to contain my tears but failed terribly. I put my hand on my mouth to muffle my heavy sobs. I didn’t want to cry. Not in front of him. But I did. And the next thing I felt was Harry wrapping his arms around me and pressing against his chest. I clung onto him like my life was dependent on him. The whole room was filled with cheers, clapping and laughter.

Harry was rubbing my back soothingly, telling my not to cry. I nestled my face in the crook of his neck, breathing his scent in. The scent of his cologne hit my nostrils and awakened every cell and fiber in my body.

He pushed me slightly away, but so that we were still very close to each other. He put his hands on my cheeks and wiped away my falling tears.

“Don’t cry anymore, darling,” He said. “This is supposed to be your lucky day.”

I nodded, however, it was very hard to stop crying. People who already met him know what I’m talking about. Slowly, I regained myself and no more tears were flooding down my cheeks.

“Sorry for ruining your jacket,” I mumbled.

“Don’t worry about that,” He laughed. “It’s totally okay.”

As I looked back into his eyes, just to make sure this was not a dream, it hit me. “Shit, you’re fucking Harry Styles!” My voice was trembling.

“Yes,” He smiled at me. “I am fucking Harry Styles.” The room erupted into laughter.

Harry cleared his throat before he spoke again. “Happy birthday, m’love!”

I blushed slightly. “It’s a pleasure to meet you (Y/N). You’re friends couldn’t stop but talking about you non-stop in the last few months.” My eyes widened. Months? They were planning this for months?

“What?” I could only say, turning to my best friend.

“We all know that Harry is a busy man. We wanted to make sure that he was available on your birthday,” She said. I shook my head, but laughed. This all still seemed so surreal to me. How did they even manage to invite him?

“I’m glad they told me about you,” Harry said. “I’ve heard some nice stuff about you.”

The heavy wooden doors opened and my boss Lana came in. She walked towards me and Harry, hugging me first and then giving him a friendly hug. “Welcome Harry, my boy. Long time no see.”

Harry laughed shyly. “It’s good to see you again, Lana.”

I was startled a bit. They two knew each other? My boss turned towards me.

“Are you enjoying your birthday present?”

I nodded. “Yes, mam. Thank you so so much!” I turned and looked at the others in the room. “I still can’t believe that Harry Styles is standing next to me, but I really appreciate your effort with my whole heart. You made a dream come true. Thank you!” Everybody smiled.

“I think it’s time for your birthday cake,” Harry announced then, holding onto my hips. His close proximity let tingles run down my spine and I enjoyed every second of it.

The cake arrived and I blew out the candles. We ate the cake, which tasted heavenly, and then someone turned on the music so we could dance. Harry took my hand, dragging me towards to dance floor.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, his hands on my hips pushing me towards him.

“It’s the best birthday I’ve ever had!” I told him.

“ ‘M very glad you like it.” We danced like there was no tomorrow, but the closer the end came the more afraid I got. I knew that he had to leave soon and I didn’t want that. I enjoyed his presence so much and I refused to let him go. Unfortunately, he had to. The party was over soon. Too soon for my liking.

“Say hello to your mum from me,” Lana asked him, as they hugged each other goodbye. I found out that my boss and his mother were friends so that’s why they knew each other.

“I will. Again, thanks for inviting me.” His eyes fell on me and he smiled. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have known what I had missed.” I blush crept its way on my cheeks.

Harry came to me, holding my hands. “I’m glad I met you (Y/N). I really am. I’m grateful that your friends were bothering the shit out of me, telling me how wonderful you were. “

For the third time on this day, my eyes were filled with tears. He was such an angel. How can I even let him go?

“I don’t want to end it like this,” He admitted, making my heart beating faster.”I would like to get to know you better and I’m staying in New York for a while. So would you give me the honor of going on a date with me?”

Was this really happening? Or was I dreaming? He wanted to go on a date with me?

Without any hesitation, I nodded my head.

“Yes, yes yes yes yes!”

He laughed cutely and then leaned forward to press a gentle kiss on my cheek.

“Happy birthday again, (Y/N).”

#harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles reader #one direction imagine #one direction fanfiction

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yoongisgoawaydoormat · 7 years

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Is it Harry you don't like or how he's been branded since the early 1D days? How the media pegged him as the front man when clearly there 5 great guys in the band? I'm just curious because I like Harry and the four other guys equally in terms of music, even before they started making solo music.

im gonna kinda combine this answer with an anon i should have responded to weeks ago “i've noticed you dislike harry, especially recently with him promoting his new music, but i'm not sure how/why it started exactly. could you explain??”

for me now it’s that i don’t like harry and that’s a position i’ve come to over the course of the past 2-3 years and i think i can break that evolution down into two broad categories: his relation to zayn (both pre- and post-march 2015) and how he has approached going solo (again both pre- and post-1d going on a break).

and what’s most important about these two for me is that it is hard to explain away his actions in these categories as Harry Styles™; these are HIS choices, HIS words, HIS actions thus forcing me to dislike harry styles the person

for the sake of people’s dashes i’m putting a read more, but for those interested i’ve written a novel explaining these categories in more detail below (deadass i just copied it all into word and it’s 1500 words long..... im-.....)

1) how harry relates to zayn

i list his relation to zayn first because i truly believe this says something about his character. he has done things specifically re: zayn that have nothing to do with how he’s been branded in 1d or how the media has portrayed him; his actions that im going to discuss and that have most negatively affected my view of him are all on harry styles the person

it really started in the summer of 2014 when he waved the inflatable hammer of israel around at a concert during a time of heightened tensions between israel and palestine (and by heightened tensions i mean more war crimes and atrocities committed by the apartheid-esque occupational regime of israel). he asked those fans for that hammer, he is the one who has multiple zionist connections and could easily be considered a zionist himself. that’s on harry styles the person. meanwhile zayn tweets #FreePalestine shortly after that and is abused off of twitter. i recognize that the (racist) double standard here is not coming directly from harry but he benefits from it (and always has) and he plays into it and i can’t even imagine how zayn felt as a muslim man having to sit and watch his bandmate get a free pass for supporting a genocidal regime while he is eviscerated for one tweet of support. harry’s role in all this was the first moment i truly began to dislike him as a person

then we have his actions after zayn left. i will never claim to know what went down. im not sure we will ever know the whole ‘truth’ of zayn leaving and i’ve always said there’s shades of grey, no clear right and wrong, good and bad. it was messy but the bottom line is that zayn left (at least in part) because he was in an unhealthy state both mentally and physically and no one deserves that. so for all that the remaining four may have been justifiably hurt, confused, angry, etc. at things we can’t even possibly know about or understand re: zayn leaving, zayn deserves to be happy and healthy and people need to respect that. i do not think harry (nor his fans) respected that or zayn himself at all in the wake of him leaving. harry’s actions during mitam promo was, in my opinon, the most egregious and blatantly disrespectful. all four of them demonstrated sadness and/or bitterness at times but harry’s behavior (such as saying the ‘paperwork’ was the hardest part of z leaving, kicking a z mask off the stage, etc.) came across to me as petty, immature, spiteful and mean-spirited. it was not a spite that i saw in the other three. as a ztan (and also just a decent human?) i lost a lot of respect for harry in those months. i think these actions showed his true colors and those are not colors which i like very much.

also i’ve discussed this a bit on this blog but with the benefit of hindsight i do believe that a lot of those bitter actions re: zayn came from a selfish place of anger at zayn for ‘beating’ him to the solo game and from a place of ‘i’m going to villainize this person in order to make myself look better now and down the line.’ i think that was ‘proven’ for me when the build up for harry’s solo material included a LOT of very intentional mentions and comparisons to zayn. obviously that was something the media and people were going to do anyway but it was to a degree that felt sanctioned and encouraged; i think that comparison and that emphasis of ‘zayn as the evil judas who left, harry as the one who stayed until it was time’ was part of harry and his teams promo strategy (that backfired when SOTT flopped compared to pillowtalk, hence why i think those comparisons in big outlets have ceased, but i digress)... that’s a lot more of my own interpretation and my own reading of the info i have so it’s not as concrete as the stuff above but it does factor into my personal view of harry annnnnd it also connects nicely to my second point

2) his solo approach

now this is a more complex issue, and more of it *could* be attributed to Harry Styles™ but im going to preface my discussion by saying that harry chose his team. he’s been hanging with the azoffs on his personal time since 2013, his friendship with jeff has always been in our faces, he’s very clearly in the driver’s seat of his career at the moment, just as niall and liam appear to be (louis is a different and extremely nuanced conversation). he’s been angling towards his solo career for YEARS and while i don’t necessarily think that in and of itself is a bad thing (everyone in bands esp boy bands does that kind of forward thinking), i think the way he has gone about it is by stepping on his four bandmates in one way or another and i think that’s really fucking shitty. he has leveraged the existing Harry Styles™ frontman, standout image to catapult himself into this weird realm of ‘im above everything, im too cool, im already a legend’ promo.

on top of that kind of broad stroke stuff, some of his specific actions are just......... eye-roll worthy. i mean think about what the FIRST thing he did was after 1D went on a break? yachtgate. you can brush that off as a stunt all you want (and obviously in many ways it was) but it was a stunt that encouraged a certain solo harry narrative. it helped solidify him as the a-lister of the band hanging with jenners on fancy boats. it helped solidify him as a ‘star in his own right’ signing contracts and paperwork with jeff. it was a stunt that HELPED harry.

this is kind of a digression but i do think it’s important to note the nuanced difference between harry and louis’ ‘stunts.’ totally disregarding conversations of ‘real or fake,’ if we look at the major ‘stunts’ harry and louis have undertaken in their careers (and within this im including anything that could be construed as their ‘personal life’ being projected publicly i.e. eleanor, danielle, babygate, taylor swift, kendull jenner, etc.) harry’s stunts have always boosted his public image while louis’ have always hurt his. i know that’s an EXTREMELY broad and generalizing brush to paint with and im not trying to say that harry’s image has always been ‘good’, i remember the womanizer days i cant even imagine how much that hurt him and it sucks. but basically harry’s stunts have always made him more famous, putting him in an increasingly better position to convert Harry Styles™ into solo success. louis’ stunts have consistently done the opposite, giving him a SERIOUS uphill battle when it comes to the general public and mainstream media acknowledging his solo endeavors.

this is a discrepancy that exists between harry and ALL the boys, not just with louis (though the gulf between them is the most... extreme i’d say). harry has always been positioned above liam, niall and zayn too, and what i have a problem with is how that is being leveraged and leaned into rather than dispelled. harry could easily take the approach niall has which is constantly recognizing the good that one direction did for him. even if he didn’t want to be so overt he could have at least tried to be as polite and gracious as zayn was, who while recognizing that he wanted to do his own thing and his own music was very conscious to acknowledge the good bits of 1D. instead we have this weird almost antagonistic approach in his (sparse) interviews wherein it feels like harry treats 1d as this thing that was holding him back, something he is now free of. it’s a pretentiousness that i dont appreciate

the final thing i’ll add in this section is in how he and his team are treating the fans that he does have. i am not one of those people but at times i feel quite bad? and sorry? for harries who are investing their time and money and effort into an artist who seems hell bent on ignoring them. this aloofness is demonstrated on his social media, i mean has he taken time to interact with or thank fans once????? the whole tour ticket debacle sounds horrendous and im sorry for fans that don’t get to go because harry and his team bungled it. there’s just a distinct...... disrespect for the fans he was bringing with him from the 1D days and that’s frustrating.

#good lord this got long and out of hand #im glad to have written it down tho #feel cathartic haha #Anonymous

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isitovers · 5 years

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1) Fiona, I’m so, so, so, so sorry this has been so long!! I thought I’d actually have this one done fairly quickly because I read it so quickly but then I just had trouble getting my thoughts down??? Idk haha but this has made me really realise how hard it must be for you to actually write things when you’re stuck. But anyway here we are now. Chapter 7, here we go!! We’re up to the big one. So many good things happen in this chapter that I’m just gonna dive in straight away.

2) In the first scene and finally, finally he goes for it! Yay! I love how after torturing us in the last chapter you just immediately have them go for it in this chapter. They’re in central park (#haylorland) and they’re just having fun when he decides to kiss her and I love that it happens like that. As much as I love all the big romantic moments where it would’ve been perfect for them to have their first kiss, this completely normal moment is so much better.

3) And he comes out with the ‘I love you’ right away because what’s the point in pretending?? Then they basically run back to her car so they can make out properly, the horny bastards! The first time I read this story when she asked him to stay I thought for sure they were gonna fuck on their very first night of being a couple and I was like damn!! But then they just make out, which is actually very intimate. And they tell each other how much they love each other

4) and how long they’ve had feelings for each other! And even though he says it, I still don’t think Taylor grasps quite how long Harry’s been in love with her. But anyways the next morning scene is so cute and I can just picture the giddy grin he had on his way to work. Also shout out to Taylor, because I would be pissed at anyone who’s alarm woke me up earlier than I needed to be, no matter how good their dick is.

5) Although, I must say, I find it incredibly rude that Jared was out sick this day in particular. I would’ve loved to have seen his reaction to this development that he correctly predicted (eventually lol). The lunch with Karlie was cute (do we kiss in front of other people or not??) and it must have been a relief for her who had been working her ass off to try and make it happen. I mean honestly how frustrating it must’ve been for her to watch them dance around each other for so long

6) and not be able to actually do anything. And Taylor’s birthday party is so sweet! And Austin?? I love Austin so much. Love that they showed up wearing similar things. It’s so cute! Although, if I were their friends and I saw that I’d probably hate them lol. Shout out to Emilia for that Birthday gift though! I’m sure Harry and Taylor could have fun with that vihiugugy but also like really, Taylor could totally use it.

7) I feel like all their friend’s probably weren’t that surprised by them getting together. Like everyone saw it coming. It does make me wonder who told Sam. And what his reaction was. Lowkey wish he’d been at the same club or something just for the drama lol. But anyway, Taylor and Harry on the dance floor and on the couch?? Jesus. I respect that they wanna wait a couple of weeks to finally do it but god damn those two need to fuck bbhudbuidneh.

8) I was laughing when he just walked back to Austin and the others with lipstick all over his mouth though. How awkward. But I love that they get along! Also weird note, but I feel like people forget that Austin exists?? Like you never really hear fans talk about him but he’s always been so supportive. Which is good, because in the story he’s gotta put up with a lot of shit. Like having to witness Harry and Taylor’s gross lovey dovey stage.

9) As someone with siblings, I can only imagine how uncomfortable that must be for him. Luckily, they leave him alone for a while so they can go on their first date! Which is adorable! And perfect for them! Anyway, this scene is really cute and I love that Harry clearly went to so much effort to find something that Taylor would like. Although, I’m not sure a cat cafe would meet all the health and safety protocols, I love it so much.

10) And the fact that their first date is something small and intimate is perfect for them. And then we have Taylor’s actual birthday, which Harry goes like all out for! I mean a typewriter, flowers, and iceskating?? That sounds pretty good to me. For the last part I was just picturing the night changes video though jsedhi. It just makes my heart warm that he’s trying so hard even though they haven’t been dating long.

11) Then again, I get the feeling that he would’ve tried this hard whether they were together or not. And then later they get to have a bit of fun lol. I kind of love that they’re enjoying just taking things slow but at the same time they’re only human. Bitches be horny and after so many months I can’t really blame them. Now, I don’t really know how to review a smut scene but it was amazing. Like the general build up (lol) from the making out to something more.

12) He wasn’t planning on asking for anything else but he couldn’t help himself. And it’s not like she didn’t want anything more. Not to be too graphic but I loved when he first felt her and realised she was a hell of a lot more turned on than he realised. And like I don’t know if this sounds weird but you write these types of scenes really well. Like it feels so intimate but still fun?? And I’m glad Harry finally got some action himself. Something to keep him going when he’s in the UK.

13) But also rip Austin because he definitely heard Harry and is going to need a lot of therapy. Then just a couple of days later, Harry’s off to the UK! I sympathise with Harry on his plane journey, we’ve all been there. I love that he’s wearing a Columbia jumper because he’s a cheesy a little shit and that Gemma calls him out on it. Also just wanna say that i love Gemma Styles a whole lot and I love their relationship as well.

14) And ok, I feel like I haven’t really mentioned it yet but I love the friendship between the 1d boys and Ed. It’s sad because I don’t really think they’re very close anymore but we can pretend in fanfiction! Hvdfihiuhfib I love all the little descriptions of their night out via the morning after so you just have little moments to piece together. Like Harry having a random bit of his hair cut off, them playing in a playground, and the drunk texts. Oh god, the drunk texts.

15) He was so embarrassed by them that I feel like they’d have to be really quite explicit and I low-key wish you had written exactly what he said but I also love that we were left to imagine it for ourselves. Personally, I think he probably said something about all the times he’s gotten himself off while she was next door doing various things lol. Anyways, I bet Taylor actually probably secretly loves that stuff. But other than that, i just loved seeing Harry let loose with his friends.

16) And straight after that we get Christmas with the Styles family! Which is adorable of course! And I love that Harry and Taylor organised a little Skype date so they could open their gifts together. And I LOVE what Taylor got Harry. Especially because I think so many of the songs on rumours give off such haylor vibes. And the idea of Taylor getting a new vinyl for Harry every Christmas is very sweet. Then of course things get a bit sexual because they really can’t help themselves uhidyugyu.

17) I love that Taylor was willing to wear sexy underwear under her onesie just for this Skype date lol. And Taylor can be shy all she wants but I think even if her parents were in the house she’d be into doing stuff with Harry (shout out to that fic you were talking about not that long ago about Taylor being friends with Gemma and spending Christmas with the Styles). I love the next scene as well. It might be because I just like drama but I love the conversation he has with his mum.

18) Like it’s weird because 4 years isn’t really that much of an age gap but at the same time, it is. Like potentially they could be on completely different pages for this relationship or they could completely be on the same page. It depends. But the only way they’re going to find out is if they talk about it but Harry’s not ready for that yet. Then we definitely have an important scene with Ed. Look, I know very little about the music business so I have no idea if the stuff with Ed is accurate.

19) But the possibility of opening for Ed on a tour would be pretty great. And it’s exactly the kind of thing he’d need to really get into the music business. And he’s gonna have to decide if he really wants it. Also, it was especially nice of Ed to ask since he doesn’t have any of his own songs yet lol. His reunion with Taylor at the airport is so, so sweet. And they’re going to Times Square for the ball drop?? That’s so sweet but also I’m gonna cry because of #haylor.

20) I kind of love how you have a few of the things that happen here match up with things that happened in real life. And I kind of love that even if they haven’t said it, they both know what they’re going to end up doing later lol. And not to jump the gun but since Harry so desperately wants to, I think in the future at some point, you should totally do a fic where they fuck in a car bjhbjhbdjhb. And speaking of fucking; they finally do.

21) I feel kind of bad because I’m making it seem like this entire story is just leading to them doing it ksdhuichisu and it’s not but also they’ve been waiting a mighty long time. And again, Fiona, you are so good at writing these scenes. Like I can just feel the love coming out of them. And not to be too creepy but I always really love how you write oral bits ajddb I’m saying too much but idk you’re just good at it.

22) And I love that as lustful as they’ve been with each other their first time was really about how much they love each other. The last scene is perfect too! They seem to spend a lot of their day having sex but you know what? They’ve earned it. And harry seems pretty determined to get her to orgasm as many times as he can. What I really love in the last scene though is when he reads some of her journal and it is so, so clear how she feels about him.

23) Especially the fact she has a list of all the songs she’s ever heard him singing. Ok, so that’s chapter 7! Much less drama and a whole lot more sweetness. The payoff if you will. And I loved every second of it. I’m sorry it took me so long to write this, Fiona. I just really had trouble focusing enough to write. But I do love this chapter and I wanted to get it done before lover (the album) came out. And now I get to read the next chapter! Yay!

first off I just gotta say I’m so sorry for how long it’s taken for me to answer this!! I really needed to just step back for a bit and with the album coming out I ended up missing this so I’m sorry!! but I’m here now so let’s go!

I had the way they would finally get together picked out for ages before I actually got up to it. I think because he thought about it so much, and she’s such a romantic person, that it would’ve made so much sense to have a proper Big Romantic Moment, but I really just wanted it to be an accident. one of them was gonna slip up and say something eventually, plus it kind of took the nerves away from either of them actually creating a moment. and central park was always going to be the perfect setting for it!

everything that happens after though was kind of tricky to timeline, since I’d also already planned in advance for nye to be their first time, but he was going back home for christmas, but I needed them together before he left, so I was just ???? adhfakjf I’m glad it seemed to all work out in the end!

I’d forgotten how karlie found out lmao that was another surprise I loved writing! plus austin, I feel bad for him. I feel bad for making him sit through all their extra™ stages of just becoming a couple, but also, I regret nothing.

her birthday was a lot of fun and you’re right, he definitely would’ve tried hard regardless of whether or not they were actually together at the time, but it made him try extra hard to impress her. their matching outfits when they were out with their friends was unnecessary but it was nice just to show their similarities? emilia's gift was interesting lmao and something she really could've done with earlier (sorry sam!)

also the cat café was such a dream first date! I can't remember the exact café I based it on, I just quickly looked it up again and I think it was either koneko or meow parlor. it doesn't really matter but I just like throwing in some actual research here and there to show I'm not just winging the entire thing ahdjdjjd

then we're back in the uk and it's such a different trip compared to what it would've been like before taylor. he's actually happy in new york, and then going back home is more of refreshing. I love gemma too and I loved getting to play out more of their relationship, same with ed and the 1d boys. honestly, piecing together their night out that way was so much easier than actually writing it ahdjdjk so sure it was the simple way out but also I like giving you reading the opportunity to fill in blanks however you want to! the imagination is a powerful thing which is exactly why again I didn't specifically say what he texted her djfkdk I really didn't think I could come up with something that would've done it justice! you're welcome to make it as dirty as you want lmao

christmas was so sweet and I'd forgotten that she said she would get him a vinyl every year which is so cute! it was probably best for their families that they weren't together for their first christmas since they would've been all over each other (which austin already knew shdjsjd) but anne did make a good point that maybe in the future they would want different things. it was only early days, but they'd both been hurt before. it was good for him to be reminded that it was a conversation that they would need to have

I haven't got a clue how the music industry works but not knowing hasn't stopped me from writing before! it's probably not accurate but it's how I wanted things to progress for him so that's how we rolled with it

new year's was really the perfect way to end the chapter because of the sense of new beginnings and how already they were so comfortable in their new relationship, it could only get better. I think if I'm remembering right, I added in things that linked to what happened in real life (the iconic ball drop!!) because I wanted it to be that fic. I didn't think I would write anything like that again. so I poured everything into it really!

ajdjdkd honestly I'm so glad you say this like I enjoy writing those intimate scenes, it's fun, but I have no idea what I'm really talking about and I'd pretty much die if anyone I actually knew knew I wrote stuff like that. I go through phases of thinking I'm awful at it, but I've read plenty of other fics and writing guides (which are helpful for anyone else who wants a bit of a nudge with their writing!) and I know I like it at least lmao. it's all about confidence really! so thank you for saying this, I sometimes really wonder whether I'm any good at that aspect

and thanks so much again for sending all this, you know I love it!! there's no need to apologise, take however long you need to. I hope you've enjoyed lover and the next chapter! I know I loved writing this one

#sorry this took so long!!#i love all of this and i love this chapter #idk if this is coherent ahdjd i hope so #writing is hard #anonymous #answered

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1dreality · 7 years

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It must have been well over a year ago now, when Liam Payne realised he had absolutely nothing interesting to say. The singer, known to most as ‘Liam from One Direction’ until the group’s indefinite hiatus in January 2016, had returned to the studio, settled into the idea of being a solo artist for the rest of his days, and promptly drawn a blank. He was, he says, just too darned happy to think of anything.

Everything in his life had fallen into place. He’d found love, moving in with Cheryl (formerly Cole), a fellow junior royal of the Top 40. Their first child, a son named Bear, was well on the way. He had signed a huge record deal with Capitol. He felt fitter and healthier than he had in years. And, yes, there’s no denying it: he was pretty pleased that he no longer had to be in the biggest boyband in the world.

‘I had a bit of a problem formulating what was going on in my brain into the music at first,’ he says, ‘because I was so content with everything in my personal life. It’s easy to spill your guts out on a ballad. But I was thinking, “Oh God, I’m really happy – what am I going to write about?!”’

More than 12 months on, the answer to that question still isn’t entirely clear. Payne’s debut album, as yet untitled, won’t be released until early 2018. There have been two singles, though, with a third, the unsubtly titled Bedroom Floor, arriving next month.

Of those we’ve heard, the first, Strip That Down, a R&B-inflected club hit released in May and co-written with Ed Sheeran, marked a departure from One Direction’s stadium pop-rock. It was also chock-full of hoary by-the-way-I’m-an-adult-now signposts: there are references to nightclubs, drinking rum and coke, driving Ferraris and having girls ‘grind’ on him. And mixed in with all that were lyrics that caused a minor stir among his acolytes: ‘You know I used to be in 1D, now I’m out, free / people want me for one thing, that’s not me’. Payne, it seems, is keen to reintroduce himself.

‘When I left the band, I felt a bit stranded,’ he says, when we meet in an enormous boardroom at his management’s offices. ‘It took time, but I know as an artist I am starting fresh now.’ He slaps the table with melodrama. ‘This is Moment One. It’s the start line.’

Liam Payne is 24 years old. He is athletically built, as anyone who has seen his shirtless Instagram posts will know, and kind of everyday handsome, in a Love Island, former-youth-footballer way. Both his arms and hands are almost entirely upholstered in tattoos, highlights of which include some thick black arrows on one forearm that look like road markings; the number ‘4’, in reference to One Direction’s 2014 album of the same name, on his ring finger; and, on his left arm, a scale depiction of Cheryl’s eye, that appears to follow you around the room as he gesticulates. ‘It’s so my missus can always keep an eye on me,’ he likes to say about that one.

He is impossibly nice. Before we meet, he plods through the office, saying hello to everybody in the building individually, and in most cases remembering something about them: that they beat him at Fifa last time he dropped by, so they must have a rematch before he leaves (‘I’ll whoop ya with West Brom!’), or they’ve surely had a haircut, haven’t they? (‘It looks really great anyway, man!’). It is the manner of somebody both impeccably raised and intensely keen for people to like him, and it appears genuine and successful.

To an extent, Payne says, the five members of One Direction – or four, after Zayn Malik left the band in 2015 – ended up playing characters over the six years they were together. Whereas the Beatles (arguably the only other group with a comparable scale and speed of world domination), grew increasingly cantankerous towards the end of the 1960s, One Direction stuck resolutely to the caricatures that fans and management assigned them right to the end.

Malik was brooding and mercurial, Harry Styles was a cool, flamboyant ladies’ man, Niall Horan was charming and laid-back, and Louis Tomlinson, who has since admitted to feeling a little redundant, was fun and energetic. And Payne? Well, Payne was The Responsible One.

‘I’ve always been a bit of an older soul,’ he says, mulling over his place. ‘It’s funny: there’s a thing on the net where the fans put what they think are our mental ages. All the boys were around their real ones, but then they put me at about 37.’

Payne admits to feeling a little daunted in 2010, when Simon Cowell thrust the band together on X Factor after they’d auditioned as solo artists. Keeping up with the other personalities in the gang was exhausting, so his coping mechanism was to attempt to rein them in as best he could, and work with management in doing so. Like the popular schoolboy teachers identify as mature enough to be a trusted emissary for his recalcitrant friends, Payne carved himself a valuable niche.

‘I was put with a group of rowdy teenagers, and when I was a teenager, I had mates, but I was always with my dad. I’d go out to the pub and chat with him. So when I was stuck with these boys I was thinking, “F— me, I don’t know how to do it.”

‘When something was going wrong, I’d get a phone call. If there was an apology needed, it was me. I was the spokesperson for the band, as it were, with the press and the label.’

Along with Tomlinson, Payne shares comfortably the most writing credits of the band on One Direction songs. Over their five albums, dozens of songwriting collaborators contributed to the group’s success, but it seems nobody worked harder than the two least-heralded members. Neither was the showiest or best singer; but they kept things ticking over.

One Direction’s hordes of fans around the world noticed the assumed roles, and nicknamed Payne ‘Daddy Directioner’. He lived up to it with them, too. In 2013, on tour in Australia, Payne tweeted a message to warn girls waiting outside the band’s hotel of snakes living in the surrounding fields. ‘It’s just not worth it someone’s gunna get hurt [sic],’ he pleaded.

Two years later, he gave an interview lamenting the fact he and the other boys were being sent sexually explicit pictures of themselves drawn by underage admirers. While the rest of the band seemed to find that funny, Payne called it ‘the sad and sorry side of what we’ve done.’ Yeah, all right, Dad.

Becoming a real-life father has at least given the nickname some purchase. Rumours swirled at the end of 2015 that he had started dating Cheryl – formerly Fernandez-Versini and Cole, née Tweedy – after her second marriage ended in divorce. By the next summer, she was pregnant with the second One Direction baby (Tomlinson, the eldest of the bunch, had one first).

The couple live in a mansion near Woking, Surrey, and aren’t married, but he considers them ‘basically at that stage’. Bear, with whom Payne is besotted, was born in March, and named for the growling noises he was making during his first sleeps. So far, no photographs have been released, but he instantly shows me one on his phone. And here, I can exclusively reveal that the heir Bear is – as you’d expect of a baby with that name, born of two professionally good-looking parents – very cute.

‘We’ve only shown him in glimpses,’ Payne says, explaining their decision to shield him. ‘We don’t want him to have the pressure that me and Cheryl have, as household names. We want him to enjoy himself first and then figure it out.’

Born and raised in Wolverhampton, Payne has an unexpectedly thick Midlands accent that gets thicker the longer he talks – which is a lot. His preferred conversational feature is the anecdote, resulting in a version of the phrase, ‘I remember, there was this one time…’ prefixing the majority of his utterances, which are in turn regularly punctuated with singular handclaps of self-incredulity. It can be mildly alarming, like interviewing a young, heavily-tattooed Ronnie Corbett, but I suppose it speaks to the amount of life experience he has already accrued.

Growing up, Payne’s father, Geoff, worked as a fitter, while his mother, Karen, was a nursery nurse. Money was tight and the house small, but he remembers it as a happy one.

‘My place was on the floor with the dog, there was no space on the sofa. It was great, though we didn’t have much. Dad was in debt, but they did the best they could. It makes you dream a bit, you know?’

As a child, he had two routes to possible stardom, both of which Geoff pushed hard for. One was singing, the other was long-distance running. For a time in his teens, Payne was one of the fastest 1500m runners in the country, getting up to train before school and seconds from qualifying for the London 2012 squad. It was before that, as a 14-year-old in 2008, that he first applied for X Factor.

Auditioning with Fly Me To The Moon, since it was one of the few songs he could manage while his voice was breaking, that year he got as far as the ‘judge’s houses’, before Simon Cowell told him to come back in two years and try again. He became a mini-celebrity back home in that between-period, and carried on performing around town. The adulation was short-lived, though.

Once, performing a Justin Timberlake cover at an under-18s gig in Oceana Wolverhampton, somebody lobbed a coin at his face and managed to draw blood. He laughs about it now. These days – admittedly a largely cashless society – it’s only bras and knickers they fling.

‘I had become less and less famous. One time, I was in McDonald’s with a girlfriend and someone shouted ‘X Factor reject!’ at me. The whole restaurant turned. It was like coming out of fame. So I knew what it was like at 15, and it helped me.’

Following Cowell’s advice, he returned to X Factor in 2010 and found himself shoved into One Direction with the four other boys, eventually finishing the competition in third place, but with easily the brightest future. Within weeks, he had moved out of his Wolverhampton bedroom and into a penthouse apartment in Canary Wharf.

And six years later, One Direction had sold more than 20 million records, become the first band in history to have their first four albums go to number one in the US, touring the world numerous times, and earned a preposterous amount of money in the process. Payne is now estimated to be worth £40 million. He hasn’t been back to Wolverhampton in a long time, but he paid off his father’s debts years ago, and bought his parents a new house in addition to funding the renovation of their family home. He refers to his time spent in One Direction as ‘like uni’.

When they were in the thick of things, all the boys used to obey Cowell’s omertà – relentless enthusiasm at all times, please – and never discussed any negative aspects of their experience. Now safely out the other side, Payne is frank on matters of burnout and claustrophobia.

‘Cabin fever. It sent me a bit AWOL at one point, if I’m honest. I can remember when there were 10,000 people outside our hotel. We couldn’t go anywhere. It was just gig to hotel, gig to hotel. And you couldn’t sleep, because they’d still be outside,’ he says, before telling several stories of how he and Tomlinson would sneak out of hotels just to feel freedom, only to find themselves bored once they got out.

‘People were speaking to me about mental health in music the other day, and that’s a big issue. Sometimes you just need some sun, or a walk.’

Every stop on tour became the same. Earlier this year, Payne was asked which was his favourite city of those he visited with One Direction. ‘One in Italy with a big white cathedral,’ he responded.(The band performed in Milan at least five times.)

‘One of the problems was that we never stopped to celebrate what we’d done. I remember us winning loads of American Music Awards and then having to get on a plane straight away. It got to the point where success was so fluid. I don’t even know what happened to our songs, we just sang them, then sang some more. It was like a proper, hard job. Non-stop. I can concentrate a lot more now.’

The paparazzi and fan attention sounds just as draining. It must feel weird having a Twitter following larger than the population of Australia, as he does, but especially odd to have fans so obsessed that they’ve set up multiple fake profiles pretending to be your mother, for some reason.

Moreover, footage of One Direction out and about makes A Hard Day’s Night look tame: thousands of screaming fans all over them, police escorts everywhere they went, an unending run of selfie requests... It came to a head in New York in 2012, when Payne was walking to a restaurant with his parents and a paparazzo accidentally pushed his mother over. He was incensed.

‘I was like, “Oh, f— this. F— this s—t.” There was a swarm of them and I just wanted a burger with my parents,’ he says, unsmiling for a moment. ‘I cried my eyes out. I thought, “I can’t do this”, and really hated my life.’

He soldiered on, but it wasn’t a healthy lifestyle; none of them seems to miss it now the ‘break’ is on.

‘It’s great that people can see what we’re really like away from each other,’ Payne says. ‘It got to a point in the band where we were just playing characters, and I was tired of my character. Apart from the daddy thing, I was really loud and bubbly. There were a lot of personalities in the band to keep up with, so I had to be all, ‘Ey!’, the rowdy lad, and I don’t have to now.’

There were times when the band would celebrate hard, and in that, Payne had catching up to do: as a child, he was diagnosed with a scarred kidney, meaning he didn’t taste alcohol until he was given the all-clear at 19. Tell a teenage millionaire they can now safely drink, and they’ll go for it. He admits ‘the floodgates opened’ that year.

‘I wasn’t happy. I went through a real drinking stage, and sometimes you take things too far. Everyone’s been that guy at the party where you’re the only one having fun, and there were points when that was me. I got to 13 stone, just eating crap. I got fat jibes, and it affects your head. I have nothing to hide about it…

‘As I say, it was like a musical university. We were pretty reckless, but I got it out of my system. I had my fun.’

The hiatus seems to have come at just the right time. But before he could take a breath, Payne lurched on in life, becoming involved with Cheryl almost at once.

Nobody asks how they met; their introduction is on YouTube for all to see. Ten years his senior, she was an X Factor judge in 2008 when the 14-year-old Payne shuffled in, all mop-hair and waistcoat, to perform his Sinatra number. He winked at her, she called him ‘cute’, they bumped into one another over the years, ended up working on a remix of one of her songs in 2014, and the rest is recent pop history.

Not everybody was happy when the relationship was initially confirmed. That Cheryl was in a quasi-pastoral role when they met raised eyebrows in the usual eyebrow-raising camps, as did the couple’s decade-wide age gap. Liam doesn’t care. In fact, he can still barely get over the fact she’s his girlfriend.

‘It’s a ridiculous place to be in,’ he says. ‘She’s even more amazing than I thought. I was watching her do Fight For This Love [her debut solo single, from 2009] when I was a kid, and now we’re together with a kid. I feel like I’m X Factor’s biggest winner.’

It helps having Cheryl around to ask about business matters. Like Payne, she was scouted on a TV pop contest (2002’s Popstars: The Rivals), had massive success in a group (Girls Aloud), and then went solo with a more urban sound. She is also the unlikely possessor of the record for number-one singles by a British woman.

‘We think about the same things. She understands what my life is like. She knows what it’s like to sit on the Graham Norton couch [or] we can talk about her L’Oréal work. It’s not that we’re “a brand” as a family, but we can help each other.’

In Who We Are, one of One Direction’s seven books, published in 2014, Payne writes in his chapter that he’s ‘worried about the idea of failing outside of this band’ and declared he’d become a low-key songwriter, because ‘there would be less attention on my life’.

The opposite of that is what’s happening, I inform him.

‘Yeah, that was a point when I was scared of our success, and we didn’t want to take a step back from it,’ he says. ‘I just wanted to be a songwriter and not be famous, but happy. Then Simon and Cheryl told me this is where I am supposed to be, and I’d miss the stage. The pressure of what was coming next was scary, but they talked me down.’

The solo product he’s come up with is the sort of music he’d always wanted to make: radio-friendly R&B in the style of his heroes, Justin Timberlake, Usher and Pharrell Williams, and more informed by the rap music he listens to than the pop he’s famous for. Who knows if he can shake the ‘embarrassing dad’ brand to pull it off, but the signs point to success. Strip That Down has been streamed more than 300 million times on Spotify alone.

‘I wanted this to be for people my age. The themes are a bit older, but you have to grow up with your fans. I can’t make bubblegum pop any more,’ he says.

One Direction fans needn’t despair. They might have dispersed and almost all signed elsewhere, but Payne is excited about the idea of a comeback gig in years to come. As, I’m sure, are the band’s accountants.

But that won’t be for a little while, if Payne has it his way, because – as he keeps on telling me – he is just far too happy with his lot at the moment to take a step backwards. When it reaches our time to wrap up, he’s still at it.

‘I feel great about what’s going on in my life,’ he says, giving it one last handclap and springing to his feet. ‘I’m extremely lucky. I feel like I’m in a comatose dream. I’m like, “when did I last bump my head?” because I can’t believe this…’

Liam Payne’s next single, Bedroom Floor, is out on 20 October

#liam payne #liam's solo project #liam's promo #liam for the telegraph #liam & cheryl #dad liam #baby payno #1d hiatus or split?#liam about 1d #liam about simon #liam's album #Wow Liam could have been an Olympian... That's pretty impressive #That was a great interview where he finally let go and was honest. The guy must have had so much pressure while in the band #reading this once again reaffirms that what Zayn said first and was hated for has been corroborated by other members now that they are solo #I hope that fans realize now that people see what you write about them or hear about it.. Poor guy he must have felt like shit when people #were making fun of his weight.. Or every single time fans tweeted at him in outrage for something problematic. Like these boys are human #Also him kind of letting you know listen what you saw onstage while there was a bit of us in there it was mostly characters that we had to #keep on playing....Also him talking about the lack of recognition even though him and Louis had the most songwriting credits #Him confirming that the 4 his for their album FOUR which I guess holds a special place in his heart #And he reiterates that he is in a period of his life where he is blissfully happy. He has a child with a partner that understands & support #him and it looks like he has found what he wants to do career wise and is getting his footing as a soloist #Interestingly enough in this interview he is letting you know that the reunion if it overcomes it's not going to be anytime soon

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