#koko without his eyeliner is still so unnerving to me

[my-blooming-darling]

EVERYONE SCREAM WITH ME

YUZUHA HAS GRACED OUR SCREENS

[ghoulangerlee]

*shimmies in* adam knowing something's wrong when koko comes out in sweats and completely not made up. hair down and no eyeliner and he doesnt try to say anything snarky at adam's appearance. turns out there was an article about his boyz performing after he left and it being a total hit, none of them even mentioned koko in the interviews, and adam has no idea how to react because koko's been such a /presence/ since they got there

;) 

-

Koko’s intimidating on most days, wearing mesh and leather;face impassive as if everything’s not worth his time (Adam supposes that’s justKoko’s resting face, but honestly he’s not too keen on studying himself too closely, after all.)

So when he wakes up to Schling, curled up on one side of hisbed, he’s confused at best; Schling and Koko, whatever they are, share thecouch—Adam’s come into the living room many mornings to the two of them wrappedaround each other under one of Adam’s spare blankets.

He shakes Schling wake, but it proves to be futile becauseall Schling does is snores and rolls closer to the center of the bed; Figures, Adam mumbles with a shake ofhis head as he slips out of bed; the feeling of something not right hits him when he reaches his bedroom door andhe fights with that oddness in the pit of his stomach as he goes to relievehimself and brush his teeth.

(It morphs into something more definite when he steps intothe living room and sees Koko—looking smaller than usual with gray sweatpantsand a too big t-shirt; his face is makeup free and hair without product. He hasa cushion in his arms, he’s squeezing it, if the tension in his arms is anyindication and Adam frowns, the unnerving way Koko’s staring at the televisionin front of him off putting.)

Koko? He askscarefully as he moves towards the couch, lingers around the arm of it as if he’safraid to get too close, Is everythingalright?

The mirthless smile that crosses Koko’s lips catches Adamoff guard, a laugh is forced out, twisted and heavy, I’m not, he says, blunt and then, a string of words in German, facecontorted into something between sadness and disgust.

The boys, they don’tneed me, he says, I’d much ratherstay here where at least I’m tolerated.

Adam finds it a little alarming, jarring, because they don’treally talk about Schling or Koko going back, they’re not sure why they’re herein the first place, so figuring out a way to send them back would be…well…ahorrible idea—I’m an idiot. (And hefeels bad that he zoned out on Koko talking, his own mind running as to whyKoko seems distressed, no...upset.)

He sits on the couch, carefully, gingerly, keeps areasonable distance between them but turns so he’s looking at Koko, Do you want to talk about it? he’s notgood at talking but he’s pretty alright at listening and maybe, maybe it’ssomething that can be fixed by venting—that’s a valid strategy, right?

Another laugh and Koko looks at him this time, You don’t even want me here, he says,the words unnecessarily heavy, face twisted into something ugly, You only barely tolerate me, just as theboys did and yet, yet I want to stay here, because you’re better at faking it.

(Adam wants to deny the accusation, he more than tolerates Koko, but Koko’s pushing on,speaking again, more German, angry and self deprecating and Adam’s head’sspinning now.)

Before I left, hoursmaybe, there was an interview released, after they sabotaged my show, wherethey didn’t mention me, they just…they talked about how they were strong andwere going to release music soon, other things….he shakes his head, sayssomething in German once more, short and with a crude sort of smirk, Guess they finally got tired of me, mm?

He doesn’t know what to say, it’s so different from the Assassin Superstar short they did, thereweren’t these feelings behind the characters,nothing this fleshed out, just early clues to something much bigger—he doesn’tknow how to process this, that there’s actualproblems, that the sabotaging happened.

You’re going to gettired of me too, Koko says and looks up at Adam, he looks tired, sad andhis eyes are a little red, You andSchling will get tired of me.

A surge of somethingAdam can’t name travels through him and he shakes his head, No, he says, voice fierce and low, No, Koko, no. We won’t get tired of you. Hefeels almost protective over Koko(and to an extent, Schling), and he reaches out, grabs one of Koko’s hands (hisnail polish is chipped, nails chewed down messily and god, it’s worse than Adam thought.) Whatever it is, you’ve got us.

Koko squeezes his hand once, twice, and then drops hisshoulders, looks down at his lap, I wantto believe you, he murmurs, the words slurring together messily and Adamshifts closer, curls his other hand around the back of Koko’s squeezes his handbetween both palms, We won’t get tired ofyou. He says again, as if trying to drive his point him.

(Koko’s smile is weak but hopeful around the edges, notperfect and still a little hesitant but Adam counts it as something.)