#kotlc roast

[aphelea]

who is deader: Oralie or edaline

Oralie.

I think if Edaline died it would feel quite unnecessary. She only really matters to the Neverseen as a way to get to Sophie, and post-Stellarlune I can't really see the Neverseen caring about wasting their efforts on that. So there's no real reason for Edaline to die, plot-wise. Unless she's trying to stop Gisela's conjuring, but again, I don't know why she would be doing that.

Now, Oralie, on the other hand? I love her, but I think she's far more likely to die. Pretty much all of her secrets are known to us and Sophie, so her death wouldn't cause a massive blockage of information. And she would be a pretty good target for Gisela or the Neverseen, being a Councillor and Sophie's mother. (Although I doubt we're going to see a lot of the Neverseen-without-Gisela anymore. Especially with Vespera gone.)

Also, I think it would also be interesting to have Kenric's and Oralie's deaths parallel each other. Just for fun, you know.

[synonymroll648]

Listen here, if Fintan isn't dead, then Kenric isn't dead. I am in a constant state of denial

Theories

- Kenric was "protected" by the Neverseen and is now probably a pale, beaten thing on the floor

- Kenric was brainwashed by the neverseen and Oralie's true loves kiss saves him or something cute like that

- Kenric did light leap out of there, he never went back to the council because he decided that the council is Bad™️

whaddup i am over a month late to answer this :D anyway. i am not necessarily in denial about kenric being dead but i am sure as hell in denial about a lot of other things in life so. i get that. let us vibe in elf hell mostly under the cut because i know myself and my response is going to be long. warnings for mentions of immolation, torture, etc that tend to come with talking about kenric!

response to theory one:

there are a lot of fascinating potential implications with the use of quotations around protected. obviously, the implications are most likely under the umbrella of 'taken by the neverseen and isolated from the public and its knowledge'. but there's a lot of different ways you could do that! my first thought is that fitnan somehow managed to get kenric out of the fire before he burned to a complete crisp.

and then kenric was taken as a hostage. maybe they told him that if he told them council secrets, he could go free. he probably didn't give in, and that's why he's a pale, beaten thing on the floor. but who knows, maybe he did - sooner or later, your pick - and they kept him beaten and pale on the floor anyway. sounds like something they'd do. sure would hurt as a reader :')

response to theory two:

kenric being brainwashed by the neverseen is another interesting concept!! interesting and o w on the emotional scale. i'd like to think that gethen's the one that does it. so it's a character we already know and we can have connections to crescent bite marks and frostbitten ridden nails and other things associated with gethen that could contrast with kenric as we used to know him and/or who he is now. it'd also be nice to come back to kenric in person, someone who was a huge comfort - almost father-like - figure to sophie before everblaze and what went down at oblivimyre, but twisted. well, not nice, it'd hurt like hell, but that's the fun part! taking a beloved character that's become more relevant through the opening of his cache in stellarlune (and legacy? i don't think so. but i can't really remember) and seeing him again would make me go :O (/pos or /neg depending on execution, but i'm leaning toward /pos)

as for the part about oralie - first thought, incredibly cheesy but i love cheesy. plus, considering the series we're talking about, i can see it working and being in-character and lore-compliant. kenric and oralie weren't ever together, but they are like. undeniably canon. and important to canon, because the nature of their dynamic was ultimately the catalyst for a lot of aspects of the series. i mean, like, sophie probably wouldn't exist biologically in the way we know her today if it weren't for her being close enough to kenric for him to consider her as a moonlark dna donor and for her to trust him with something like that.

so having oralie, someone who was incredibly important to him before he supposedly got roasted at oblivimyre for many years, kiss him? something he wanted for so very long but never got in canon iirc? that might snap him out of mind control. not just 'cause he's like head over heels in love with her but also because he has so many memories that are important to him tied to her, whether it's like. romantic or council shit or something else. considering the lore in kotlc surrounding the idea of triggering memories and/or resurfacing a form of someone's consciousness through things that are deeply tied to their past, big or small, this seems like a solid solution. and some fluff and/or hurt/comfort that shannon would probably lean into. also the consequences of a current councillor kissing a former councillor would be fucking DELICIOUS. probably angsty. still very scrumptious

response to theory three:

oooooh i'd never considered that! i'd always thought of kenric as the kind of guy that wasn't necessarily loyal to the council first and foremost - considering how much he cared about sophie and oralie and possibly/probably the black swan or at least certain members of its organization - but cared too much about the elvin population to abandon his post as councillor willingly. though i do suppose there's always been an element of longing for a different life with his character, isn't there?

this is largely expressed through his love for oralie, but i'm sure there's more layers to it than that if you look close. i never really fixated on kenric, so i can't think of concrete evidence from the books off the top of my head that doesn't involve oralie, but you could probably pull from moments between him and sophie. she literally asks - forkle, i think? - if he's her father. and, y'know, she's wrong (unless shannon decides that was a lie), but. to stand up for a kid enough that she asks if you're her dad? definitely can be read as wanting a family at one point. which isn't a stretch, considering how oralie literally tells sophie that she gave the black swan her dna for project moonlark because she'd always wanted a kid but she couldn't as a councillor, and that was her one compromise available. and kenric is, as previously mentioned, infatuated with oralie. them secretly wanting a family together makes sense.

also, like, the entire series makes a point of him being a lot more mysterious than he looks on a surface level. some parts of the mystery of his character compelling him to leave the council behind when he gets the chance? understandable. heartbreaking, to know that he left sophie and everyone else he swore he'd protect behind instead of coming back, and unknowingly leaving them all to deal with the menace (/neg) that is alina as a councillor, but alas. it could work. i'd want reasons, though. lore as to why, lore as to where he went once he disappeared, what he's done with his new life.

random side note: it's an interesting thought to muse about whether or not kenric saw keefe while he was hiding in the forbidden cities. if he decided to get closer or further. if it was closer, it was probably in disguise. but chances are, he probably walked off as soon as he could.

if you read through to the end i'm proud of you holy shit

[moonlarked]

More kotlc incorrect quotes from Perchance!

Sophie, texting Wylie: I’m a theif.

Wylie: Thief.

Sophie: Theif.

Wylie: I before E except after C.

Sophie: Thceif.

Wylie: NO.

Biana: Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.

Linh: When do you usually go to sleep?

Sophie: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.

Stina: BWWAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm.

Biana: That is not something you actually have installed.

Stina: Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG-ASS OPINION.

Sophie: We’re kind of missing something guys.

Rayni: Cohesion?

Maruca: Teamwork?

Wylie: A general sense of what we’re doing?

Tam: And Dex is not here.

Rayni: Oh, and that, yeah.

Maruca: I'd roast you, but my mom says you can't burn trash.

Maruca: *slow-mo walks out of the room*

Tam: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something.

Tam: I need my socks.

Tam: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life.

Maruca: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Tam: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Linh: Edible.

Dex: You know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun.

Dex: That's why I own TEN guns.

Dex: Just in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.

Tam: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

[moonlightswritingandstuff]

the fire burns bright from the kindling we've gathered tonight

It's nighttime, and there seems to be nothing else but the stillness in the world, which is drawn from the aurenflare and the four people around it.

requested to add the link for kotlc pride month, so here it is!!!

read on ao3!

The aurenflare crackles, like dry branches breaking underfoot; the aurenflare's sound contrasting its feel of cool, round water droplets.

Its splendour is something to admire too, the blues and purples and greens and oranges and yellows and reds and everything in between lighting up the warm night.

Or, it might just be warm from the aurenflare. It is summer; the trees long having regained leaves, the gardenias in full bloom by now.

And sitting in front of the aurenflare are a few people: Marella Adene Redek, self-declared pyromaniac, but, more accurately, pyrokinetic, of which this fire originates; Biana Amberly Vacker, out and ready to do something dangerous, and completely unallowed by aer aristocratic world; Linh Hai Song, away from the world for this one night, before returning to quiet contemplation like any other day; and Sophie Elizabeth Foster, with too much weight on her shoulders and not enough freedom.

And the aurenflare is rather small, all things considered, not very encompassing, only on Solreef's large lawn.

Solreef is nothing but the home of many, of which Linh Song is of importance in that case.

And it is now, that four people, who have only come together for this small but somewhat ritualistic thing, divest only the things that children think of in the snatches of night, only things that the boldest of the bold decide to do.

However, it is worth noting that none of the four are the boldest of the bold. Sophie is a leader, and as thus careful. Linh is nothing of not contemplatively quiet, Biana is always planning. And Marella gossips but always knows exactly how to phrase and execute to make others thing exactly what she wants them to.

And it is within these bonds of love, care, and boldness, to lead four people of usually polite disposition to contradict it completely.

"Do not," Linh gasps, as if betrayed by the very notion. "I am not, in any way, about to blow up Solreef. I declare Marella more guilty."

Marella only shrugs, a luxury she is not used to. "This fire is from me, loves. I am not about to snuff it out."

Biana giggles at that, not quite used to being able to drop a girly countenance. "As if we would ever want you to, dear Marella."

Marella flips her hair. "I would expect no less of you, darling."

It is within the confines of being outside of society that these four peculiarities in their world can breathe, deeply and fully, with the feeling of being alive.

The aurenflare is beautiful, of course, but no more beautiful than what Linh thinks of Sophie and Biana and Marella, and no more beautiful than what Sophie thinks of Biana and Linh and Marella, and no more beautiful than what Biana thinks of Sophie and Linh and Marella, and no more beautiful than what Marella thinks of Sophie and Biana and Linh.

"Ripplenuts, ladies," Sophie says, dumping around sixty into a bowl, of which Linh immediately grabs and puts on a nut-roaster, and interesting invention made by one Dex Dizznee, in an effort to more efficiently roast ripplenuts but also brattails.

Brattails do not feature here for the simple reason that none of the people present want them to.

Biana sighs, though, at Linh's insistence to be the nut-roaster. "Linh, love, let one of us do it sometime!"

"No."

Biana smiles despite all that. "Fine."

Linh smiles, and it's the end of that.

Marella laughs, though, and her laugh sounds like the aurenflare, with its dry branches crackling.

"Marella," Sophie scolds lightly. "Do not laugh at our dear Linh's inability to give up the ripplenut-roaster."

Marella just shakes her head.

"I like aurenflare," Biana says, after the conversation has died down and the only thing standing is quiet companionship. "It's colourful and pretty and wonderful."

"Me too," Marella says. "It's my favourite, of all that I can create."

"The ripplenuts are ready!" Linh calls, before taking out a few bowls and dumping sixteen ripplenuts each, dividing them equally.

Biana smiles, taking a ripplenut. "My favourite."

"I thought your favourites are custard bursts?" Sophie asks, looking anxious at the possibility of getting something wrong.

Biana finishes aer first ripplenut before answering. "Of course, love! Ripplenuts are actually my third-favourite, then, after custard bursts and cinnacreme."

Sophie laughs. "I still can't believe you don't like mallowmelt."

"I do! Just not as much as most things."

Marella shakes her head. "Oh, never change."

"I wasn't planning to."

"Anyway," Linh begins, "did you hear the gossip?"

"What are they saying now?"

"My brother," Linh says, pausing for emphasis, "and Stina."

"What?"

"Exactly my reaction. Do you think they'd be good together?"

"Actually, yes," Marella says. "First off, Tam and Stina can judge people together, and they're already decent friends. Stina is more outgoing than Tam, but both of them are spiky and prefer to be chilly with people."

"I see it too," Biana continues. "Tam can help Stina be a little nicer, and Stina can help Tam be more outgoing. I think they'd be good together."

Sophie nods, but doesn't say anything.

Linh smiles. "I do think that too; Stina and Tam could be good for each other. But Stina as my sister-in-law? No."

"They might not last," Biana points out, "but I'm also near-certain that Stina's getting nicer anyways. Tam has taste, at least, and I don't think it'll go too badly."

"Hopefully they'll work well," Marella concludes. "Anyway, gossip is dreary sometimes."

Linh laughs. "Naturally. But it's fun."

"It's always fun," Biana points out.

They all laugh, and everything seems right.

And high up, away from the aurenflare, Tam Song watches from his window, his sister and them all, and then closes his drapes before reading Stina's letter once more, and going to his bed to do nothing but sleep.

But Linh and Biana and Marella and Sophie will be up late into the night, watching the aurenflare and each other, and spending time the way that they will, with only the thought of each other and the moment never ending.

[archived-and-moving]

Favorite KOTLC dynamics?

Hmm that's a hard question because there aren't too many dynamics I don't like in kotlc. No matter how much I roast canon (out of love) I will always be in awe at the way Shannon Messenger can mess around with characters, especially in the earlier books.

Specifically I really enjoy anything to do with Marella. She's honestly one of the most dynamic characters (in my opinion) and whoever she's around is such a fun grouping.

I like a lot of Sophie and Marella content, because as I said, I'm a fan of the earlier books and I miss their friendship. (Adding Dex to that mix is really fun too! The original trio is such a treat.)

The other fun Marella one I really enjoy is Fintan, because of their narrative parallels of her trying not to follow down his path, but still having to learn from him nonetheless. Both of them are such sarcastic queens and I live for anything of them together.

Solreef family has to take second place, found family is honestly such a good trope. And the way that all of these characters (Exiled powerful twins, two tragic gays, a confused dude wondering why all his friends are children, and now an ex-villain who Does Not Want To Be There--for now.) Something about how their grief connects them is such a powerful narrative and I honestly love them for that.

Uhh what else. I'm really starting to enjoy Oralie and Sophie (+Bronte because he's always a lot of fun.) I was kind of let down by the reveal in Legacy but as they've gotten more time to settle into their new dynamic I actually quite enjoy it as a bit.

Something about Sophie being eternally pissed off at Oralie and her taking it turning into a VERY begrudging alliance was kinda fun. It's super fun to me when there's another character in the background (Like dude after the reveal when I think Edaline was like "Oralie is outside waiting for you" and Sophie's reaction pretty much boiled down to "That bitch?") When I say I live for that stuff.

Some other fun ones (more ship focused) for me are:

Sophiana

Solinh

Keefitz

Titz

Tiertice

Sokeefitz

I won't really detail too much on why I like them, but these are pretty top tier for me out of either nostalgia or other queer reasons. And honestly most of these are just fun dynamics in general, they don't even have to be romantic or anything!

[silveny-dreams]

Thought you might enjoy this

…..i-

[kotlcsalt-blog]

where oh where are the gays

Let's talk ships.

Now, when I say ships, I mean all the ships in KOTLC. You have your main three, of course, but that's a different post. For now, we're talking every ship in KOTLC. And boy, there are a lot.

Almost every ship imaginable is hinted at. There's Sofitz, Sodex, and Sokeefe, but there's also Dex/Linh, Fitz/Linh, Tamiana, Keefiana, and on and on. It seems like Shannon has hinted at every possible pairing, right?

Do you see the problem yet? No? 

Okay, then let me list the ships Shannon hasn't hinted at. Ships like Detz, Solinh, Liniana, Keefitz, and Sophiana.

Now do you see it?

KOTLC is aggressively heteronormative. You can't look me in the eye and say there's not something suspect about the fact that Shannon seems to hint at every ship possible- except the same-sex ones. When Shannon hints at a ship, she's pretty blatant about it (see: Sophie’s constant references to "fluttery things," Biana's kiss from Keefe and also I'm pretty sure Biana literally says she likes him at one point, or Linh’s comments about Tam's "type"). But she never done anything like that for any kind of gay ship, even outside the main Keepers. We never even see an offhand reference to a homosexual couple. What, do gay people not exist in this world? (And if the answer to that is yes, then that has a whole other set of implications, none of them good.)

Now you may be thinking, "Oh, Juline and Kepler are a bad match, so they face discrimination like an homosexual couple might!" To which I say, THAT'S NOT REPRESENTATION. Juline and Kepler are still a heterosexual couple. That's not in and of itself a bad thing, but you can't hold up a straight couple and say it's representation for the gay community. And, even if it is meant to be representation, that's never made clear at all.   AND, one more thing, if bad matches are supposed to represent gay couples, that, once again means more bad implications.

People say, "Oh, I don't want to put issues like that into a kids' book." But that's a load of BS! First of all, Rick Riordan did it, does it, and is still doing it, so anyone who says it's impossible  is wrong. Shannon is an established author with at least one more book deal with a publisher. She could do it. And second, it's not an issue! Yes, in our reality it's an important issue, which why im writing this post and why it matters that Shannon adds LGBTQ+ representation. But Shannon's not working in our reality. She working in her own society that appears to not have social issues like poverty (which is annoying, but thats also another post.). If they can get rid of poverty, who's to say the elves couldn't have eliminated homophobia too? She doesn't even have to deal with human prejudice here. So honestly? I don't get it. We know LGBTQ+ representation is important. They're people, just like anyone else, and they deserve to be acknowledged. They deserve to see themselves in books, movies, and other media. So why aren't they in KOTLC? I'm asking, and I want an answer. Buuuut barring that I'll just keep being bitter. This is kotlcsalt, after all.

[keeperofthelostposts-blog]

Tam: every kiss begins with k

Keefe: too bad ugly begins with u

[gay-otlc]

Flashback Recap

In case you've forgotten everything other than Sophitz, fear not, I am a reliable source of information

Sophie's trich is getting better! It took her four whole pages to pull out an eyelash, which might be a record.

Biana tackle hugs Sophie and they aggressively compliment one another's appearance. No homo

Speaking of homo, Fallon Vacker definitely dated Bronte at some point.

People always bring up Alina/Alden drama at the least convenient time and it embarrasses them both so much. This is fantastic.

Della can beat people up with ease and she is so hot (-livvy sonden, probably)

To avoid living with Alvar, Fitz considered moving in with Keefe. We were robbed, I tell you.

I SWEAR I'LL WRITE A FIC FOR THIS SOMEDAY

Fitz also considers moving in with Tiergan. The Keefitz option is undoubtedly better but I'd never say no to the "Tiergan adopts everyone" agenda

Sophie roasting the Neverseen is fantastic and something we all need more of.

A murderer wearing spandex called me out on my daddy issues. This is probably a low point in my life.

Umber probably has a personal connection to the Vacker family. No one else contributed a theory, so mine is that she was/is in love with Della.

Wylie attacked the Neverseen with rainbows. He is straightn't and probably cisn't.

SOPHIE CONSIDERS ELWIN FAMILY BRB HAVE TO GO CRY

"Tiergan and Prentice happily raised a child together. As bros do. No homo." -Shannon, 2018

Sandor made me feel emotions? Him blaming himself for Sophie getting hurt got to me okay-

Bronte has been in regular contact with Fintan and working with him for weeks... what are they "working" on... making out?

Grady needs a hug.

Keefe needs a hug, and also therapy, and KOTLC needs to not be for eight year olds.

POCKETS. That is all. Shannon definitely wrote the pockets monologue after getting pissed at the "pockets" in women's clothing.

Biana Vacker saying "I’m sick of being treated like I’m some broken doll because of what Vespera did- and you know that’s what you’ve been doing" supremacy.

Biana's stuffed yeti named Lady Sassyfur supremacy, also.

The Keefe and Elwin dynamic! Let's be real, they've been acting like father and son this whole series.

It's canonically a definite possibility that Keefe lets Fitz win at splotching. Their earlier book friendship is so sweet and I'm still not over losing that.

When Sophie expects Elwin to be the responsible adult and he just shrugs and grabs popcorn... they are a family... they deserve to be happy okay

The Ballad of Bo and Ro.

More Dadwin!

It may not be canon that Elwin and Livvy are besties but it's canon to me.

Livvy keeps a list of the top ten grossest things she’s done. Marrying Quinlin is on that list. Alden thinks Livvy has terrible taste and will marry Quinlin if ce doesn't want to. Quinlin is thrilled.

Keefe pretending he wasn't that worried about Fitz while nearly crying with relief... beloved...

After Cassius tore up Keefe's sketchbook, there was some Keefitz hurt/comfort, and I need to see this for science.

Forkle stop using gendered titles for the collective and kotlcrew, all of whom are clearly nonbinary, challenge. However he got nailed in the face with a pillow (Keefe saw) and that is punishment enough.

Elwin absolutely despises Cassius. We all need protective Dadwin in our lives.

Tiergan not giving a shit about the heterosexual drama part ???

Keefe is such a bi idiot, panicking when Fitz touches his head.

Gisela gave him the PERFECT opportunity to propose to Fitz, bi the way, and he didn't take it!!

All elves are nonbinary, confirmed once again

Tiergan is the epitome of the "how many kids do you have" "biologically, legally, or emotionally" meme. He has so many children emotionally it's hilarious.

Within like 2 seconds of meeting a traumatized queer child he's adopted them.

Forkle knows how to braid hair

FORKLE BRAIDED FINTAN'S HAIR

Tinker is Not Cis.

Sophie saying "They didn’t break me. They’ll never break me" supremacy. Same vibes as the Biana line.

Biana kicked Fitz in the shins.

Good for her!

(Not Fitz hate, we'd just all like to kick our siblings sometimes)

Considering how jealous Keefe is of Fitz being closer with Sophie than with him, I'm not sure Fitz is the one he's jealous of.

Villain Sophie foreshadowing? Villain Sophie foreshadowing.

✨fitz getting caught in the chandelier✨

The normalization of relying on one romantic partner for all of your emotional needs features a bit too prominently in this book for my liking. Kill amatonormativity please.

Protective older brother Wylie!

Biana telling Sophie "You look… really good," with those ellipsis. That is so loaded with suppressed lesbianism wtf-

Alvar doesn't remember Ruy :((((

Someone get Sophie some self esteem. Like. Now.

The day with the alicorns being born must have been so wild for Stina.

Also, the alicorn birth scene is pretty batshit.

It's Sophie’s right as a bisexual to insult the council whenever possible, particularly Alina

Keefe middle name angst!

Don’t think about the conversation where Fitz told Keefe he was dating Sophie :) :) :)

By which I mean think about it! Think about the Keefitz angst!

Vespera and Luzia are exes.

Fintan and Forkle are also exes.

I want more Fintan backstory tbh. Which definitely involves dating Forkle. Also dating literally everyone else the man gets around-

According to him, Fintan has no flaws other than being a fucking drama queen.

He also knows Caprise? Apparently? And I would like details.

Someone who is not Fintan was the one to start the Neverseen.

Fintan is very funny someone calls him out for murder and he just shrugs.

Vespera was, and I quote, “fixated on Luzia Vacker.”

FINTAN AND MARELLA RELATIONSHIP it lives rent free in my head

I will shut up about Fintan now.

In my defense his scene is pretty interesting.

Somehow, Sophie is unaware of Luzia and Vespera's past relationship. Luzia is not at all subtle, so I don't know how she hasn't connected the dots.

Marelliana 🧡

Marella struggling with her power is the best concept ever 10/10 I need more content for this despite having already written two fics about it.

I need Wylie as an older brother. We all need Wylie as an older brother. That is all.

Fitz is jealous of Keefe's relationship to Sophie... and Keefe isn't the one he's jealous of...

Fitz yeeting the alvar-tracker-device is both hilarious and a terrible decision, really.

OH SHIT (keefitz argument)

Queen shit from Biana Vacker (going off at Vespera. as she should)

Fuck Alvar (-ruy ignis, probably)

"Yes, Luzia says many things, does she not? It gets very hard to determine when she is fooling you and when she is fooling herself" okay Vespera we know you're in love and she broke your heart you can stop villain monologuing

Tam being stunned by succeeding at shadow shit but immediately pretending he knew what he was doing all along is so funny.

Fitz and Alvar is a realistic sibling depiction. Who among us hasn't attempted to murder their sibling honestly?

Hehe this is the last time Tam and Linh see each other for a while- they hug and she tells him to be careful- and then there he goes!

We were robbed of getting to see the rest of Tam's family react to this. It's on the list of fics you might see sometime in the vague future.

Sophiana angst

Thinking about dating Fitz makes Sophie pull at her eyelashes... that's... not great honestly.

[slozhnos]

get your cup of roasted poisoned coffee y’all

taglist: @thesandsofdawn​, @completekeefitztrash, @duchessmb, @floridawoman46, @beautifuldaysahead, @lucat13​, @thecatdemon, @make-kotlc-gayer, @a-harmless-poison, @that-random-fangirl-01

[stellar-lune]

*KOTLC incorrect quotes*

Anyways, a long list of incorrect KOTLC quotes, feel free to use these for anything if ya want!

-

Glimmer: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".

-

Fitz: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”.

Fitz: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

-

Keefe, holding up his class notes: And then this doodle of a burrito because when I first read Aristotle, I thought it was pronounced like “Chipotle”.

Marella, in shock: Wait a minute, is it “Chip-o-tottle”?

-

Sophie: I wasn't hurt that badly. Elwin said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

-

Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent.

Marella: I choose to waive that right!

Marella: *screaming*

-

Brant (whoops sorry bout this one): Do not come over to my house. If the house is on fire you may knock once, if I don’t answer assume I set the fire and I want to burn to death.

-

Sophie: I would never say that my best friend is a bitch and I don’t like her. That’s not true… Biana is a bitch and I like her very much!

-

Lex, Bex, Rex: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

-

Keefe on Tuesday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh.

Keefe on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

-

Forkman, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

-

Keefe, tearing up the room: Where are they?

Keefe, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children?

Keefe: Somebody moved my E.L. Fudges, and now I am going to run away again.

-

Tam: Your existence is confusing.

Keefe: How so?

Tam: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me.

-

Sophie: I have one foot in the grave but in a kind of fun flirty way, the way one might slip on a fishnet stocking.

-

Linh: I've never encountered a problem that can't be solved by an spontaneous musical number.

-

Dex: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

-

Sophie: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

Sophie, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

-

Dex, to Stina: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

-

Sophie: My life isn't as glamourous as my wanted poster makes it look.

-

Dex: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one, Wonderboy.

-

Marella: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

-

Fitz: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."

-

*out grocery shopping*

Linh: *takes a free sample twice*

Linh: Robbery and fraud. I am a Rebel (TM) .

-

Sophie: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices.

Sophie: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

-

Sophie: Does anyone know how to relax? Asking for a friend.

-

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-

Tam: No returns.

Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...

-

Dex: So, according to my university, it is, quote, “my responsibility if there is an internet outage to contact the faculty and the department.”

Dex: Now, if you’re a critical thinker like me, you might be wondering one thing.

Dex: HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO EMAIL THE DEPARTMENT?!?!?!

-

Tam: Hey, what’s the name of the other guy who lives with Tiergan?

Linh: His cats' names are Walter and Rose.

Tam: That's not what I asked.

Linh: That is all the information I have.

-

Keefe: Ro, remember when you said you weren’t going to interfere with my love life?

Ro: No, that doesn’t sound like me at all.

(alternatively, Alden)

-

Linh: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!?

Tam, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.

-

Marella: I'd roast you, but my mom says you can't burn trash.

Marella: *slow-mo walks out of the room*

-

Biana: I'm gonna get my piolet's license. I've already got a driver's license and a cosmetology license, that's two of the big five licenses.

Fitz: The big five licenses?

Biana: Driver's license, cosmetology license, pilot's license, fishing license, and… license to kill! I can't wait to get that one.

-

Dex: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.

Fitz: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Biana, do you think I have anger issues?

Biana: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

-

Keefe: So how’s the food Sophie made?

Fitz: It's great! Compliments to her.

Keefe: *goes to the kitchen*

Keefe: You're adorable.

Sophie: *blushes*

-

Biana: And now for a gay update with Linh and Marella.

Marella: Getting gayer.

Biana: Thank you, Marella.

-

Sophie: Hey, do you know the password to Keefe’s computer?

Biana: I love you, Sophie.

Sophie: Aww, that’s so swe—

Biana: No, you misunderstood, the password is "iloveyouSophie".

Sophie: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

-

Fitz: Hey, Biana, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?

Biana: Yeah.

Fitz: And you, Tam?

Tam: Umm... yes?

Fitz: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!

Biana: Did he just-

-

Sophie: Do you cook?

Biana: I made a cake once.

Fitz: Yeah, it was good.

Biana: Really?

Fitz: Don’t make me lie twice, Biana.

-

Dex: Nice rock.

Keefe: Thanks, Tam gave it to me.

Tam: I threw it at you!

Keefe: Isn’t he the sweetest?

-

Juline: I just had a long talk with the triplets about hitting and now they are yelling “it’s my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence” before hitting each other.

-

Sophie: I made you all playlists!

Sophie: Tam, yours has only heavy metal and punk, and is dark like your soul.

Sophie: Keefe, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Sophie: And Biana has the ABBA Gold album.

-

Fitz: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

Biana: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

Dex: A realist sees a freight train.

Tam: The train driver sees three idiots standing on train tracks.

-

Mr. Forkle: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Biana, Keefe, & Sophie: Okay.

Mr. Forkle: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Biana: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Keefe: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.

Sophie: Bold of you to assume I can die.

-

Sophie: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

Keefe: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.

Dex: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.

Marella: My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.

-

Biana: What’s it like being tall?

Marella: Is it nice?

Sophie: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Fitz: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

-

Stina: You have friends and I envy that.

Marella: You're welcome to share my friends.

Stina: *looks at Dex and Sophie*

Stina: I don't want those.

-

Della: Tommorrow's garbage day.

Fitz: I can't believe you made a whole day dedicated to Alvar.

-

Linh: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it.

Tam: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out.

Linh: Th-that's not how that works-

-

Marella: Do you want to know your gay name?

Linh: My... my gay name?

Marella: Yeah, it's your first name-

Linh: Haha. Very funny Marella-

Marella: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.

Linh: Oh- oh my god.

-

Glimmer: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

The Black Swan: Those are wanted posters!

-

Biana: Are you mad?

Tam: No.

Biana: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

-

Keefe: Astrology is fun because i can pretend that all of my behaviors are just a result of being a Gemini and not symptoms of mental illness.

Biana: Being a Gemini is a mental illness. That’s not hate it’s just a fact.

-

Biana: *on the phone* Hey Fitz, do you know my blood type?

Fitz: Of course, it's A+.

Biana: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!

-

Fitz, to Sophie: Are you ready to commit?

Sophie: Like, a crime or a relationship?

-

Literally Anyone: Hey, aren’t you Sophie Foster?

Sophie: You a Councillor?

Literally Anyone: No.

Sophie: Then yes, I am.

-

Sophie: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway.

Stina:

Sophie: Vroom vroom, come out already.

Stina: I’m gay—

Sophie: Not what I meant, but cool.

-

Keefe: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset?

Sophie: No, I said "Keefe, don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset.

-

Mr. Forkle: I’m not so sure you’re stakeout material.

Sophie: I’m a chronic insomniac, I was born for this.

-

Juline: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

-

Marella: *gets set on fire and screams in agony*

Marella: Nah, I’m just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.

-

Biana: Maybe the true treasure was friendship all along. But I hope not, because I can’t spend friendship on new clothes

-

Dex: Do you want to play 20 Questions?

Fitz: Sure!

Fitz: Whats your favorite color?

Dex, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Do you like men?

[bookwyrminspiration]

(Nilnaea) Oh by the way now that I think about it, dragon fire could be actual Everblaze. I totally forgot that synthetic Everblaze was a thing, haha. Also, based on what I've read in His Majesty's Dragon, how about dragons that spit acid? It would be super deadly, corrosive, and highly sought after as a weapon. But good luck finding a container for it that won't melt!

oh this is so cool, nilnaea!! i've been thinking about dragons in relation to the wings au for the future so I am!! very excited to talk about dragons all the time!!

if we're going with the common idea of dragons breathing fire, I think an excellent way to make them fit into the keeper universe better is if their fire was actually everblaze! I'd much prefer they were altered like than that the things they actually are in canon. Everblaze is the fire of the sun on earth, right? or something along those lines. Everblaze can only be put out with a specific powder (note: I wonder how they discovered such a specific recipe. it makes me think there may have been a disaster once involving a widespread blaze no one could stop that necessitated such a recipe. perhaps it's another forgotten secret that's been hidden from the elves, like this idea of dragons, and that's why the recipe is kept so hidden, too)

also--synthetic everblaze is a thing?? I guess I also forgot that one! if dragons breathe everblaze, I wonder what they would look like. Would they be a yellow to match the flames, or would they be like a marbled red/orange to look like the sun, as it's the fire of the sun on earth.

but that's just focusing on fire breathing dragons! there's so much more in the elven world it seems a shame to limit them to one kind. I haven't read His Majesty's Dragon, but I think acid dragons would super cool--wait. idea. What if kotlc dragons were manifestations of the most dangerous and hard to attain things in the elven world? We could have an everblaze dragon, a dragon related to quintessence, maybe one with alkahest (that substance that can only be stored in a bubble of itself). I think related the dragons to such danger and unattainability would be fascinating.

and then the ways people could try to take advantage of them, their fire and acid and light. I don't think that would end well for them, but elves are prideful and I think some would try anyway. Good luck to them! I bet they'd get absolutely roasted. I think the elves see every creature as providing something, and dragons would be no exception. But trying to get something from dragons would be so deadly and dangerous--maybe that contributes to why is could be a forgotten secret; elves are too proud to admit they can't conquer this beast, and it kept killing them

this is giving me so many ideas!! this is so cool! I love dragons so much, and the idea of dragons based on kotlc things is infinitely intriguing

[sofia-gothicquirks]

My favourite scenes ever in the KOTLC series by dearest Shannon Messenger honestly are the ones where everyone collectively despises and bullies Lord Cassius because while he is an extremelly interesting character that i am sure still has a lot of secrets to share he is also and mostly a fucked up bastard who emotionally abused his son for years and he deserves every single shit everyone is putting him through. I live to see Sophie roasting him with disgust everytime she has to see him because just the sight of that man reminds her how much Keefe silently suffered because of him, his abusive father.

[happyshadowthots]

jillian reads kotlc (part 4):

NEVERSEEN

-“FAITH MR FORKLE IS TEAM KEEFEX “

-“fitz is such a simp”

-“so far keefe has tried to confess his love for sophie a total of 2 times”

-“i don't like della tagging along- she feels like a hovering chaperone on a school trip”

-*keefe and dex have to share the vortinator* “my keefex dreams have come true. thank u shannon. swag.”

-“i 100% would have bullied sophie in school”

-“keefe is so good at making ship names...he would definitely run a fandom blog on tumblr”

-“i have decided that since i can't decide between sokeefe and sofitz that a threesome scenario is the best option” (very wise)

-“this book is suspiciously going well so far, but i have seen far too many spoilers to fall for shannon’s charades”

-“i now understand your ‘take a shot everytime sophie has to reassure keefe she could never hate him’ post”

-“keefe really just decided to slam an incredibly powerful and wise foreign enemy against the wall with his bear hands and i'm here for it”

-“i'm getting corona vibes with this whole plague thing and i'm not happy about it” (HAHAHAHA)

-“i'm mad at you for getting me addicted to such a painful book series”

-“i thought it couldn't get any worse with keefe's backstory but i was wrong and i’m not okay”

-“LOKI WAS NAMED AFTER FORKMAN AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME?????”

-“this chapter is just shannon roasting the entire human race for 20 minutes”

-“is the shade dude good or bad, cause i really like him and his percy jackson water girlfriend”

-*5 minutes later* “i apologize for saying tam and linh were dating that was very incest of me”

-“why are elves so into hand holding”

-“alvar is dead to me but i can’t say i’m surprised considering your reaction when i said he was cool”

-*keefes betrayal* “i'm having a silent mental breakdown in front of my entire family- thank you shannon”

FINAL REVIEW:

10/10 THEY KEEP GETTING BETTER AND BETTER EVEN WHEN I THOUGHT IT WASNT POSSIBLE, although i do have some things to talk out with shannon about the pain she has brought me

[kotlcsalt-blog]

Keeper of the Lost Cities, for all its benefits, has a few flaws. For example-

oh, what the heck am I saying. There are a frick ton of flaws. And maybe I can’t correct them, but I sure as hell can be salty about them.

Join me, and together we will roast this series to hell and back.

[lilikags]

Tetlyn... best ship name I’ve got tho it’s not that good

@kjstella​ asked for a matchup, and I was very happy to write it! (I’m really proud of it too uwu) 

✧༺♥༻∞　𝑰 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉...　∞༺♥༻✧

𝐊𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨 𝐓𝐞𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐮!

♥ So, let’s start off with food. It’s always good to start off with food. So, first date, and he takes you out to dinner at a Korean barbecue place. You shared a plate of galbi and ordered yakult for the both of you. He had never had it before, and he ended up liking it. It was one of the best meals- and the yakult was definitely a part of it.

♥ Ok, conversations. You two can have a lot of different convos. Sometimes, you can have the most interesting, educated-sounding conversations I would have ever heard, while sometimes it’s just him trying to provoke you and you roasting him back. 

♥ Random thing but: SHIP NAMES! Tetlyn, Kustell, Stelloo, KateKuro, KuroKate, ah- these kinda suck

♥ Okay, so you and Kuroo met at a party- a party you planned. Kuroo was like super impressed at how everything was so perfectly planned out and the party was just perfect. (I can’t describe it because idk anything abt parties) So at the end he was like actually really impressed so he asked around who made the party and the answer he was given was you, and he started up a conversation on how the party was great and stuff and you two had a great, productive conversation.

♥ When you play games, you invite Kuroo to play with you and he’s actually better than you because he played a lot with Kenma. He loves teasing you during these times and you end up just kinda roasting him back but he doesn’t really mind, actually, he likes hearing your witty retorts.

♥ The two of you are really smart and considered top of the class, so you don’t really need help from each other but you do end up getting into conversations about anything for like smart people. Talking about stuff from real world problems to the little things like which pencil is better value to buy always end up being intelligent convos.

♥ Kuroo isn’t really into roleplaying that much but he does sometimes read your roleplays and finds it interesting. He thinks all your OC’s are really cute and enjoys reading about them. He really admires your creativity with your writing. 

♥ You introduced him to KOTLC and he loves it now. You two could talk about it for a long long time and he even made a character but doesn’t really roleplay that much.

♥ You introduced him to Kpop and now he’s obsessed. It’s what he mostly listens to now and he loves hearing you sing your favorite songs. He also started singing them too, and you laughed at him how he got a lot of the lyrics wrong the first time. You listen to it on your way to school and you two have matching kpop pfps. 

♥ Whenever you code, Kuroo just looks at you in awe like, “woahhhh”. He just looks at what you’re doing on the screen, and he’s really impressed when you show him the finished product. He likes to brag about how you’re so smart and talented, and you coding is one of the things he brags about.

♥ 𝔼𝕩𝕥𝕣𝕒! 𝕂𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕠𝕜𝕖 𝕟𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 🎤

✧ Like the week before, you started planning out the party.

✧ Kuroo was the one who invited everyone

✧ You two went to the grocery together to buy snacks

✧ bought lots of chips

✧ maybe had a small argument about which bag of chips was better

✧ You were the first ones to arrive because obv the host has to be there first

✧ The order was decided and you went right after Kuroo

✧ The both of you sang kpop songs

✧ you love hearing him sing and it’s one of the reasons you love him

✧ you absolutely love his voice

✧ ofc you were the last to leave bc host always leaves last

I hope you like this!!!