#source: perchance generator

[looneytooneyspoons]

[stilesonthehunt]

Stiles, talking about Derek: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH HIM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? HE DID. HE KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.

[onceandfuturelesbian]

arthur: when you said ‘magic in bed’, i wasn’t expecting this…

merlin: *pulls card from deck* is this your card?

arthur: holy fu-

[definitelyincorrect]

Steve: Did you have to stab them?

Bucky: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me.

Steve: What did they say?

Bucky: “What are you going to do? Stab me?”

Steve: That’s fair.

[incorrect-our-flag-means-death]

Ed, at Izzy’s funeral: I need a moment with him.

Everyone, leaving: Of course.

Ed, leaning over Izzy’s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Izzy: Yeah, no shit.

[qsmpincorrect]

Phil: Wow, they really hate us.

Missa: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic.

Phil: But we’re not gay, Missa.

Missa:

Phil:

Missa: We’re not?

[the-herdier]

Ponyboy: *sneaking in through their window*

Darry: *turning in their chair and flicking the light on* "You want to tell me where you've been all night?"

Ponyboy: "I was with Soda?"

Soda: *turning in their chair* "Wanna try again?"

[incorrect-star-allies]

Magolor: What is Kirby to you?

Meta Knight: The reason I wake up every morning.

Magolor: ...That’s adorable.

*Earlier that day*

Kirby, bursting into Meta Knight’s room banging pots and pans: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

[iz1331]

Lydia: I'm gonna need a human skull, but you can't ask why.

Betelgeuse: Only if you also don't ask why.

Betelgeuse: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of his bag*

Lydia: ...

Lydia, grabbing a skull: This one will do.

[incorrect-esmp-quotes]

Skulk!Shelby: I'm bored.

Suasage Supreme: Wanna commit first degree murder?

Shelby: Sure!

Jimmy, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Oli down!!

[incorrect-piltover-quotes]

Ezreal: Oh god, she texted you ‘hi.’’ Punctuation only means one thing, Vi. She's mad at you.

Vi: No, it's Caitlyn. She's just being gramatically correct!

*meanwhile*

Caitlyn: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them.

Mel: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.

Caitlyn: I stand by my choice.

[emilyrox]

Jenny: What’s up with Manny? He's been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?

Timmy: He's just a little overwhelmed.

Jenny: Why?

Timmy: Danny smiled at them.

[stilesonthehunt]

Derek: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? Stiles: It was autocorrect. Derek: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."? Stiles: ...Yes.

[onceandfuturelesbian]

morgana: i spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter ‘S’

gwaine: *looks at merlin and arthur*

gwaine: is it ‘sexual tension’?

[incorrect-malfoys]

Lucius, sweating: Narcissa, there’s something I need to ask you-

Narcissa: Finally! You’re proposing!

Lucius: How did you know?

Narcissa: Lucius, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner

Narcissa: I even picked it up once

[qsmpincorrect]

Phil: Valentine’s Day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Missa: I wrote you a poem.

Phil, tearing up: You did?