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psychedellic-phase · 4 years

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Fifteen (part 6)

A/N: this part contains season 7 spoilers!!

tw: cursing, regular criminal minds stuff

wordcount: 3.3k

masterlist:

He squatted down to look inside of the box, deciding not to worry about the surprise being ruined. He knows the ending, it’s already spoiled, so why not see what he has in store?

He took a mental note of each item, cataloging them in the extensive library that is his brain. For some of the items he immediately knew what they meant, for others he would have to read. He realized the bottom of the box was dirty, dusty even. When he picked up the debris, he realized they were pieces of dried flower petals that had been crushed to smithereens when he knocked the box over. He held the delicate pieces in his hands, barely even breathing, so he wouldn’t destroy them more than he already had. He sighed and tried to put the petals back together like a puzzle, but it was missing far too many pieces. Pieces that he was responsible for losing. Tears welled up in his eyes and he put the pieces on his bedside table.

He was angry now. In all his grieving since the breakup, he hadn’t been angry yet. He did the rest of the five stages, just in the wrong order. He started out with denial, telling himself it was all a dream. If he could just wake up then you would be right there, arms open, ready to accept him, comfort him, love him. Then came the bargaining, countless nights on your doorstep banging on the door begging you to let him in and just talk. You never answered. Then the depression, which lasted longer than he expected. He was still a shell of a person on most days, just moving through the motions, not feeling much of anything at all. In the few weeks prior he had grown to accept defeat, accept that this was over and done. Acceptance is always the hardest bit, especially for him. Spencer Reid doesn’t lose. But he always seemed to forget that love isn’t a game to be played; you were not a prize to be won. Love is hard work and sweat and tears and yelling and kissing and laughing and comfort. Love isn’t a game.

But then your stupid box came, causing him lose all the progress he had made.

Now, he was finally angry. He was angry at himself more than you, but he was still so angry with you. He knew he had mentally checked out of your relationship before the end, but that was because he just needed a break. Everything had changed so much so fast that he just needed to go sort himself out before jumping back into you. But you wouldn’t give him the time. You didn’t need space, you needed him; and he wouldn’t give himself to you. Neither of you would give the other what they desperately needed, so you ended it. He may have blamed himself for your relationship’s demise but he blamed you for leaving. He hated that you could just walk away from him, just like everyone else did. He hated that you could walk away from your family like that. How could you leave Derek behind? Rossi? Hotch? JJ? Garcia? How could you be so selfish?

“How could you!?” He wailed, as if you were there to hear him. Hot, angry tears ran down his face.

Spencer was seething, pacing wildly up and down in his room, pulling at his hair in a desperate attempt to feel any release. Eventually he talked himself down, but immediately following anger is depression. That damn Kubler-Ross Change curve. That familiar hollow feeling filled up his chest. He was numb again, and immediately regretted all the thoughts he had about you.

He was just hurt, in so many different ways at once and he had no idea what to do with it. Handling his emotions isn’t exactly his strong suit.

More than anything he missed you. The letters only brought back up all the feelings he had worked so hard to repress. He needed you, more than he ever did, so he turned to the one place he could find you.

“Congratulations Spence! You have made it ⅓ of the way through the letters. ⅓ of the way through our relationship. So it only makes sense that this is about our one year anniversary.

We take a time jump on this one. So direct your attention to the green velvet jewelry box and the dried flower. I kept a few flowers from every bouquet you ever got me and dried them, so I could have them forever. Remember how I had so many flowers tied up with string hanging in our bedroom? They were all from you. Throwing flowers away always made me sad, especially when you bought them because you always took such care in choosing them. Every bouquet had a meaning. I never knew about flower symbolism until I met you. This magnolia is from my favorite bouquet you ever got me, the ones for our first anniversary,”

His heart sank. The flower was your favorite, and there it was in shreds on his nightstand. He destroyed it, not on purpose, but he still destroyed it. He ran his hands through his brown hair, cursing himself for ruining yet another thing. Lately, he always seemed to be doing that.

“So let’s start with some context. Everything was going perfectly. The universe was finally on our side. Emily came back from the dead, which was a shocking but very welcome surprise. I needed her, needed my best friend. And she came at just the right time. She was different, but still our Em. JJ was back as a profiler now, which made us all very happy, you in particular. The gang was finally back together and we felt unstoppable, invincible. Hell, we even got questioned by a Senate Committee and still kept our jobs. Things got back to normal, or whatever can be considered ‘normal’ for us. It’s a very loose definition of the word. We had officially been together a year and it was without a doubt the happiest year of my life. We never fought, all our days were filled with work and loving each other. We spent all our time together, which in hindsight probably wasn’t the best thing. We got a little codependent. But it worked. We worked.

I’m still sorry for how that day went. You planned it to be perfect, and I messed it up.

The flowers and necklace were the gifts that you planned to give me at your place after we got dinner at that fancy Italian restaurant downtown that I had been dying to eat at. You told me it took a lot to get the reservations, but you managed to snag a table for us, because you called three months in advance. It was the sweetest gesture. I mean that. No guy ever put that much effort into something for me. I was so excited; I went out and bought a dress for the occasion and everything. It was going to be the best night. We were going to hit the first milestone of many. There were only 3. I thought there would be infinite anniversaries for us, Spence, but we only had 3. And I’m sorry I ruined the first one.

Work happened. More specifically, Hotch sent me and Rossi to interview a prisoner at North Branch in Maryland. I originally refused, telling them all about our date. Hotch and Rossi both assured me we would be back in time for the reservations.

“Why me? Why can’t you bring Emily? Or Derek? This is the ONE night I need!” I had complained.

“Your skills are what we need for this one. It’ll be quick Y/N, I promise,” Hotch said. I rolled my eyes, not to be disrespectful but so he knew I wasn’t happy.

“Fine, but if you make me stand up Spencer Reid on our anniversary you’ll be a very sorry man.”

They both just laughed and I was whisked away on the jet to Maryland. The whole way there I was nervous and fidgeting. I barely spoke to Rossi on the flight, and I’m have the biggest mouth of anyone! I just didn’t want to ruin that night. You were so excited. I hate disappointing you. You were so nice about my having to work though. When I told you I had to go, you texted me and told me it was okay, a flight from DC to Baltimore is 34 minutes. We’d barely hit altitude before we had to come down, and that you were so excited to see me. I promised you that I’d make it, I’d even be early.

I think that’s the only promise to you I ever broke.

The guy we interviewed was a real weirdo, like a little weirder than the usual unsubs. He was on Death Row, scheduled to be executed in a week. His thing was killing women and then scalping them to make wigs.

Real nasty.

We got there earlier than expected, around noon. We interviewed him for a while, taking a lot of breaks to breathe. He even gave Rossi the heebie-jeebies and Rossi invented interviewing serial killers. Just as we were about done, around four, something happened. A riot in the courtyard. Of course. They locked down the prison. Thankfully we were not stuck in the room with the psycho, like you were with Hotch that time. They still wouldn’t let us leave. It’s not like we didn’t ask. We did. We did the whole “we’re FBI agents. Don’t make me call the director” thing. The warden just said sorry, no can do, tough shit. So Rossi and I were trapped in a hyper-max that was rioting, and the clock was ticking and ticking and my chances of making this date were fading away.

To say I was pissed was an understatement. Rossi knew I was furious. He was there when Hotch said ‘It’ll be quick Y/N, promise,” and he knows how I bite heads off when I’m mad. He’s a smart man, so he did the smart thing and didn’t talk. I tried to call you, text you, everything, but my stupid phone had no reception in that stupid concrete box.

They let us out at 5, combine the 34 minute flight with commuting to and from the air strips and taking into account 5 pm rush hour traffic? I know you can tell me exactly how long it would’ve taken me to get to the restaurant. But even I knew it was too damn long.

And the traffic really outdid itself that day! I didn’t think a ten minute drive could ever be a half hour long, but it was. As we sat I got more and more antsy and tried calling you. Straight to voicemail. I did that probably 15 times, but nothing. Your phone died. Most people would assume that you charge your phone all the time, but it’s the opposite. The thing rarely is above 30% and I used to remind you to charge it all the time. It was always sort of endearing, just another thing to love about your quirky self. That night it was just infuriating.

When we landed it was already past 6:30. I changed in the bathroom at Quantico and drove as fast as I could to the restaurant. I definitely broke some laws that day.

When I got there I didn’t see you, so I asked the hostess about the reservation. She gave me a sad look and told me you waited forty-five minutes for me. You even ordered my favorite wine for the table. And I missed it.”

Spencer recalled sitting there at the table, fidgeting with his thumbs and barely sitting still. Every time the door swung open and it wasn’t you he lost more and more hope. His phone had died because he was bad at charging it. You were the one to always remind him to plug it in before bed. He couldn’t even call you to see if you were okay, or call Rossi, or Hotch. He couldn’t do anything except sit there and eat the free bread and oil that were on the table. He knew there would be a good reason why you missed the date, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. At 6:45 he gave up and paid for the wine he barely even drank and left, everyone sending him sympathetic looks as he walked out. It was no longer perfect, and that’s all he wanted. One perfect night with you, and you couldn’t even give him that.

“So I drove to your place and knocked on the door. I was so nervous, feeling equal amounts of excitement and dread. I knocked on the door and you opened it. I smiled and went in for the hug and you blocked it. Cue our first fight.

“I’m so sorry love, at the prison they locked us in and we couldn’t leave and then there was traffic and I’m so so sorry,” I said. You just wouldn’t look at me. You just stared at the gift bag on your couch.

“Spencer? Hello? I’m so sorry. I know how much effort you put into today and I–“

“Do you know how embarrassing that is?” You said. You looked upset, brows furrowed and hands waving wildly.

“I sat there for almost an hour alone, the waitress even offered me dessert on the house because I got stood up. I kept telling them you’d be there, but I had to give up. You stood me up on our anniversary Y/N.”

I felt like a kid getting scolded by their favorite teacher.

“I tried to call you,” I mumbled, “There was no service in the prison so when we were on our way back to the jet I tried, but it went straight to voicemail.”

You just groaned and ran your hands through your hair. You had taken off your suit jacket and tie and they were thrown on the couch.

“You shouldn’t have gone! You knew what today meant to me and still went!”

“I tried! I asked Hotch if someone else could do it and he said no! And YOU said it was okay!”

Our voices were loud now, I half expected your neighbor to bang on the door and tell us off.

“Of course I did! I couldn’t tell you not to do your job. The job always comes first! I just wish you told me so I didn’t look like an idiot!”

“‘Job always comes first’” I mocked, you looked at me in a way you never looked at me. It was the look you only used on unsubs. Jaw clenched, eyes fiery, more pissed than I had ever seen you. “I TRIED to tell you! Maybe if you ever charged your damn phone you would’ve gotten my texts! My fourteen phone calls! Maybe you would’ve gotten the texts and calls I had Rossi send because I thought it was my phone that was broken!”

You moved to sit on the couch, me standing in front of you. Tears were stinging my eyes, I’ve always been an angry crier. I softened before talking next.

“Spence, Love, look at me.”

And you did. Your brown eyes looked sad, all the rage and fire behind them was gone.

“I’m sorry, what can I do?”

I sat next to you and put my head on your shoulder. You leaned your head on top of mine. Such a small gesture, but so romantic at the same time.

“I just wanted today to be special,” you croaked.

“I know. I’m sorry. I should’ve called the restaurant or something. I could’ve found a better plan.”

“No, it’s not your fault. I’m sorry too, Y/N.”

You wrapped me up in a much needed hug and kissed my cheek. We sat like that for a while.

“Well this isn’t how I wanted tonight to go but,” You said and reached behind you.

I sighed, “I didn’t get you anything, we said no gifts.”

You smirked and handed me a bouquet of flowers and a bag, “They’re magnolias.”

“They’re beautiful,” I said, and I shoved my face in them to smell.

“Magnolias are considered one of the first flowering plants. Fossil remains show they have been around for 100 million years. They symbolize longevity and perseverance. Men historically gifted women magnolias as an appreciation of their beauty, essentially saying ‘you are worthy of a beautiful magnolia.’ But more recently the idea of a steel magnolia, a strong southern wom—“

I cut you off with a kiss, “I love them. Stop rambling.”

You blushed and motioned for me to open the bag. It held a small, green velvet jewelry box. Inside was a vintage locket, gold with little blue stones and beautiful etching. I gasped when I saw it. I opened it up and it was empty.

“I wanted you to pick what goes in it, Y/N.”

I held it delicately in my hands; the chain was so thin, “It’s perfect.”

You grinned practically ear to ear, those dimples coming out full force. I asked you to clasp it for me and it hung just below the base of my neck.

I wore the locket daily. The gold started to tarnish and chip, but I still wore it. I only took it off to shower and sleep. On one side of the oval I put a picture of you, the one from the fourth of July when I painted the kids’ faces at Rossi’s party. I painted a flag on your cheek. You laughed as the brush tickled your skin. You smiled wide in that picture. I love that picture. It’s still in there. It hurts to look at.

I can’t wear it anymore. I thought long and hard about keeping it. It was a part of me for two years. It kept you close to my heart always, no matter where we were. I thought maybe I could change the picture out, or just leave it in a box to collect dust. Both options feel wrong, so instead I’m giving it back to you, along with the magnolia that has long since dried up. Much like our feelings for each other.

I don’t care what you do with any of these things. I don’t even know what to do with them, with any of this. I don’t know what to do with all these feelings, Spence. I don’t know what comes next. I don’t know how to do this without you. You always know. So do with these what you see fit. I trust you.”

Spencer put the paper down and held the box in his hands and opened it. He remembered picking it out and thinking how wonderfully the blue and gold would contrast your skin tone. He remembered clasping it around your neck a thousand times because your fingers just couldn’t seem to do it. He remembered how you used to play with it when you got nervous. He remembered the rows of flowers you would hang on the wall. It just inspired him to keep buying you more and more. He loved those little things about you.

As you promised the picture of him was still inside. He stared at himself with a huge grin and a red, white, and blue cheek. He was so happy. He looked nothing like the man in that picture anymore. His hair was longer and shaggier now and he couldn’t remember the last time he smiled like that. Smiles like that were reserved for you.

He held the locket in his hands and stared out the window, admiring how the snow blanketed the street.

Then he heard something, a knock at his door.

He jumped up, part of him thought it would be you. Could it be? Has rainy Seattle already been too much for you?

A familiar voice from behind the door spoke, “Hey, it’s me.”

Part 7!

taglist: @l0ve-0f-my-life @aperrywilliams @helloniallslovelies @random-ravings

@ajwantsapancake @andiebeaword @boiled-onionrings @frnks-stuff @icantevenanymore1

#spencer reid #spencer x you #spencer reid fic #spencer reid smut #spencer #reid #criminal minds #cm #criminal minds fic #mgg #matthew gray gubler #reid x you

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companion-mala · 3 years

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we need to write reply for this DISCUSSION ANSWER just one page In the 1960s El

we need to write reply for this DISCUSSION ANSWER just one page In the 1960s Elisabeth Kubler-Ross developed a model which is known as the classic change curve. Mainly this model defines clear explanations which help to understand the various stages or the levels of emotions. This helps to know about how to change and how to deal with the people’s reaction to a particular situation. For the…

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even-the-sweetest-plum · 3 years

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we need to write reply for this DISCUSSION ANSWER just one page In the 1960s El

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eminentfocus · 3 years

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Reality Is Conceptual

“The ‘battle’ is not really against the self, but against the entropy that brings disorder to consciousness. It is really a battle for the self; it is a struggle for establishing control over attention. The struggle does not necessarily have to be physical, as in the case of the [mountain] climber. But anyone who has experienced flow knows that the deep enjoyment it provides requires an equal degree of disciplined concentration.” – Csikszentmihalyi

Entropy, in psychological reference, is essentially the slow slide into human degradation because of traumas experienced negatively within the consciousness. Those especially powerful experiences are those in which we feel a lack of control over our environment. Entropy is also the biggest enemy to the process of growth. In fact, entropy is growth’s perfect polar negative. In thermodynamics it explains the heat variable that will cause chaos or a shutdown in mechanics. In statistics it explains that nothing is absolute, that there are always variables that could change the outcome in complex systems or equations. In communication it explains how one sentence could be interpreted to mean very different things to different people. Entropy is essentially the chaos theory in action. It is literally screaming to us that we have no control over our environments, only the power to adapt.

We hear it all the time: The only thing constant is change. So why as humans do the majority of us resist change? Ready for the quick answer? Because we are scared to feel and deal with grief. We choose to stay “comfortable” instead of growing. We choose to react to our environments based on feelings instead of logically deciding to move forward. Welcome back to the rabbit hole!

We are half way into the first month of the new year, and as a coach, I can guarantee that many people have spent the first half of the month trying to “quit” something. Smoking, drinking, food, sex, workaholism, etc. One client chose to quit smoking and quickly discovered she also needed to leave alcohol alone. Through a setback and self-discovery, she found it made her smoking craving way more intense than she felt she could handle. She began this journey before the Thanksgiving holiday and only had one pitfall due to a family party on New Year’s Eve. For months she had no trouble battling the physical cravings. She went out to dinner and had wine. She met up with friends for games and drinks. She was fine until she faced why she began smoking in the first place. Everyone in her family smoked freely at the party, so after months of dedication, she did too. It wasn’t smoking she was addicted to, it was the idea that she had to behave certain ways to “fit in” with her family that she was addicted to. She created an emotional fantasy that if she didn’t smoke with everyone else, she would be punished and lose important relationships. She chose to be comfortable and gave way to a cigarette to keep the peace within her broken context. But why after all that hard work, you may ask?

Self-imposed beliefs. We talked previously about how our reality is simply the perception we have formed from our experiences- a fantasy based on trauma. Reality is not absolute because we create it. Any action we take or thought that we have that does not result in what we want is a self-imposed limit. We consciously choose what we think we know over what would move us closer to the goal because it is unknown. It is uncomfortable and most of us were never taught that we all go through the same process when we change, so we avoid it, and entropy ensues.

”The ‘change curve’ derived from the work of Kubler-Ross, describes the internal emotional journey that individuals typically experience when dealing with change and transition. This journey consists of a number of stages that people go through: shock and denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.” This is exactly the same man that discovered the well known “5 Stages of Grieving” model. They overlay because that is what you are experiencing through growth, the loss of your old self. You are grieving the loss of an older fantasy of yourself. You are choosing an unknown version of yourself over the idea of the self you have created. You have lifted the limit you placed on yourself to allow room for growth. Growth is change. Growth is uncomfortable because you have to choose to lose. Change is constant so you have to grow.

Ready to quit setting yourself up? Meet me back here next time for a look at naturalizing internal dialogue.

#TheRabbitHole

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csrgood · 6 years

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PAYING IT FORWARD: KPMG LLP & Stars of HOPE® Shine Bright in California Burn Zone

A collaboration between KPMG LLP and Stars of HOPE® is turning tragedy into hope for residents in the fire zone of Santa Rosa, Calif.

Hand-painted, brightly colored one-foot stars with words of encouragement began appearing soon after last October’s deadly wildfires, a stark contrast to the dark and grim landscape left behind by the flames that swallowed homes and entire neighborhoods.

Stars of HOPE joined KPMG employees in the San Francisco office who hand painted messages of hope. KPMG also sponsored events for hundreds of students at three schools in the fire zone: Hidden Valley Elementary, Reibli Elementary, and Glen Ellen.

KPMG, which provides audit, tax and advisory services, has been a long-standing supporter of the New York Says Thank You (NYSTY) Foundation and most recently, their Stars of HOPE program. NYSTY was founded by Jeff Parness, who now serves as the Foundation’s executive director. Parness was inspired by his 5-year old son, Evan, following the 9/11 tragedy as a ‘pay it forward’ for the country responding to the city in the days and months following the attack. In the words of Jeff Hoffman, a former public affairs executive with Disney and now the founder of Jeff Hoffman & Associates, “This helps to heal the deep emotional wounds of survivors while strengthening communities around the world recovering from tragedy through art, compassion, and connectivity.”

The science behind the Stars of HOPE is based on the Kubler Ross Change Curve. The HOPE the hand painted stars bring to survivors of natural disasters or human-caused tragedies acts as a positive shock while they are coping in the “numbness” phase and catapults them forward through the stages of grief to the “New Relationships Phase” and later, the “Helping Others Phase,” bypassing many other stages.

For one KPMG San Francisco employee, Laurie Souksavath, the in-office painting event was very personal and therapeutic. Laurie’s family lived in Coffey Park, one of the hardest hit neighborhoods, which burned to the ground. Fellow KPMG employees were empowered by the opportunity to show support for and offer hope to Laurie and other families, who are embarking upon a long-term recovery process. Stars of HOPE® team member Fran Sheff-Mauer from Connecticut was privileged to hang Laurie’s star only a few days later on the site where her family’s home once stood, knowing it would bring smiles and inspiration to all who pass by as the community works through the grueling cleaning and rebuilding process. “Partnering with Stars of HOPE to provide encouragement and help lift spirits in a time of need was a powerful experience. To do it side-by-side with an employee whose family was directly affected made it even more so, and reaffirmed why we are so committed to supporting our community,” said Scott Burger, the leader of KPMG’s citizenship efforts for its San Francisco office.

The Stars have continued to inspire and bring hope as Parness posts daily Stars of HOPE on the Santa Rosa Firestorm Update Facebook page. Summer Anne posted, “Thank you for coming to our community! I just LOVE seeing all of the stars hanging around town. Takes my eyes off all the burned areas and makes me feel hopeful!” And, Beth Ann Huff Henry, posted, “You [Jeff Parness] and those little wooden stars were so important to me during at the worst time of our lives and I can only do my best to ‘Pay It Forward’ for the rest of my days.”

Megan Carlock and Jennafer Rosset, residents of Santa Rosa, were instrumental in coordinating the painting events at Hidden Valley and Reibli schools, while Renea Magnani coordinated the Glen Ellen painting event. Finding strength and hope in each other, Davon Godwin posted to Megan via Facebook his gratitude for her kindness and the hope found in the colorfully painted stars adorning a now charred landscape, “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to say how grateful I am for your presence and influence in our community. The informed, thoughtful, creative and beautiful ways you express concern, love and encouragement make me feel safer and more at home in my hometown. Four of our five routes to work and school were ravaged by fire, but now are emerging as vital, hopeful spaces again. I weep a little every time I see Stars of HOPE®, which is every day. Thank you for helping to make our home so special.”

Stars of HOPE arrived on site in California only a day after the mass school shooting at Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fl. Still in recovery mode themselves, Glen Ellen students found hope and healing by painting their stars to be delivered to the survivors and families of Stoneman Douglas. “It’s incredible when you see students still in the depths of tremendous personal loss and tragedy ‘pay it forward’ to students literally across the nation… and all of it made possible through the generosity of our partners at KPMG. These students embody the founding principles and core of what Stars of HOPE® represents,” said Parness, who himself is a 9/11 survivor. Parness has never forgotten the thousands of people from all across the Nation who poured into New York City the days, weeks, and months following that historic day and ultimately inspired the New York Says Thank You Foundation (NYSTY).

About New York Says Thank You Foundation: Started in 2003 at the suggestion of a 5-year-old boy, New York Says Thank You Foundation is a growing national and global “Pay It Forward” service movement that is creating transformative solutions based on survivor empowerment in disaster relief, education, and the arts. For more information and photos, please visit New York Says Thank You or Facebook.com/NewYorkSaysThankYou

About Stars of HOPE Program: Stars of HOPE empowers people of all ages to transform individuals and communities through the power of art and personal messages of hope and healing. Since 2007, over 80,000 hand-painted Stars of HOPE have lifted the spirits of millions of disaster survivors in 190 communities and 26 countries. Special thank you to our National Community Sponsor KMPG LLP. Stars of HOPE® is a registered trademark of New York Says Thank You Foundation. For more information and photos, please visit Stars of HOPE USA or Facebook.com/starsofhopeusa

About KPMG LLP: KPMG is one of the world’s leading professional services firms, providing innovative business solutions and audit, tax, and advisory services to many of the world’s largest and most prestigious organizations.

KPMG is widely recognized for being a great place to work and build a career. Our people share a sense of purpose in the work we do, and a strong commitment to community service, inclusion and diversity, and eradicating childhood illiteracy.

KPMG LLP is the independent U.S. member firm of KPMG International Cooperative (“KPMG International”). KPMG International’s independent member firms have 197,000 professionals working in 154 countries. Learn more at www.kpmg.com/us.

source: http://www.csrwire.com/press_releases/40970-PAYING-IT-FORWARD-KPMG-LLP-Stars-of-HOPE-Shine-Bright-in-California-Burn-Zone?tracking_source=rss

#CSR #corporate social responsibility #social good #philanthropy #employee engagement #workplace givi

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itskimhill · 3 years

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With every distracting event, let it be the introduction of new technology or an outbreak that forces all employees to work from home, as proposed by Kubler-Ross in her book “Death and Dying” employees will go through similar stages like those described on the curve below. The curve is known as the Kubler-Ross Change curve or also known as the 5 stages of grief. The curve reflects the stages individuals go through when any change event occurs. The 5 stages included in the model are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

#LIFO Method #Life Orientation Skills #Building on strength #Life Orientation Teacher #Life Orientation Instructor #Change Management

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besthomeworkhelp · 4 years

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Change and Innovation 6 Review Anastasia. (2015). Understanding the Kubler-Ross Change Curve. View McHarrie, H. (2015). Kbler-Ross Change Curve.

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commlabindia · 5 years

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#ilt to elearning #corporate training #elearning

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thehiddenedge-blog · 7 years

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Kubler-Ross Change Curve

There are many incremental changes that occur in your business, most of which will be accepted by your stakeholders without too much drama. However, from time to time there will be changes that you need to implement that will shake them to the core. Things like your exit, merging the business, having to divest part of the business or downsizing due to a downturn need careful managing. In this…

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#exit strategies #Handover #Kubler-Ross Change Curve #Laura McHarrie #Non-Exec and Board Mentoring #The Hidden Edge

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sarahjcoaching-blog · 7 years

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What to do when people let you down

This is a subject that is close to my heart so I felt it was a good time to write a blog on it – call it therapy. We will all experience times in our lives when people ‘let us down’. That is a given, it doesn’t matter how optimistic you are, you cannot control or account for other people’s behaviour.

Now I am not referring to people who demonstrate any signs of narcissism, manipulative, controlling or violent behaviour. I am focusing on the day-to-day experiences we have with family, friends and colleagues.

I thought I would share a few strategies that I have found useful and many of the people I have coached have found useful.

No running, or hiding

As difficult as it may be, stifling, or stuffing down your feelings (which may veer between disbelief, grief, anger to name a few) - to my mind – does not work. I’ve tried it and those buried feelings only come up again at a totally random and irrelevant time. Do whatever you need to do – speak to a counsellor or therapist, write down your feelings, find healthy outlets such as exercise – but I’m afraid sometimes it’s actually about sitting with those uncomfortable feelings. If they are feelings that you have had before, and you have inkling that there may be some subconscious patterns running, then deal with them. Don’t indulge them but do experience them - it will make you stronger.

What’s my role in this?

This is a toughie. But sometimes events show up in our lives because on a subconscious level we have attracted them. It could be a lesson we need to learn, or re-learn, a ‘sharpening of the knife’ or skills, a warning sign, or a situation that at the end of it, really demonstrates what we do want in our lives. It may be we need to choose different kinds of partners, or a different job role. Very often these situations pop until until we do something different.

Be kind to yourself

What do you like to do? Exercise? Sleep? Take a bath? Go out partying with your friends. Be around loving and supportive people who boost you, and find activities where the time flies past.

Mind your language

Watch the self-talk. Words such as ‘I’m an idiot’ or ‘I can’t believe this happened’ are not always helpful. Whilst it’s important not to shy away from the uncomfortable truth, don’t beat yourself up or blame yourself. Choose more empowering words such as ‘This situation was not for my highest good’, or ‘I have learnt a lot from this situation’ or ‘I left an unhealthy situation’. This soften up the language as very often what we tell ourselves internally, ends up manifesting in our external behaviours and interactions.

Any change can be tough

Whatever the change is, the loss of a job, a difficult work situation, or the break-up of a relationship – it’s all change. Check out the Kubler-Ross change curve. It’s well documented that the ups and down are what everyone experiences (again unless someone is a narcissist or mentally unstable)

Remember what you didn’t like

Tempted to go back to an unhealthy situation? Get a piece of paper and write down everything that was negative about the situation and how it made you feel. Try to put down the rose-coloured specs. That was not the reality. Ensure you were not carried along with the ‘idea’ of something, rather than the truth of what is was like.

Celebrate

In time, when you have processed, written down your feelings - you may feel like adopting a mind-set of…..well yes that was tricky but I am so excited for the future I do not yet know. Congratulate yourself on your bravery and honesty in leaving something that wasn’t working for you – sometimes it can seem easier to stay in the situation, hope it will get better, blame others. But no –you are not a victim but an adult ready to step up, evolve and take your life to the next level.

If you have a current challenge at work, or in any area of your life and you could benefit from an objective, no obligation, complimentary call, contact me via www.sarah-j.com

#motivation #business #coaching

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