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accidentally-in-fictional-love · 2 months

Note

If it weren’t a bother, i request 📖🥰🔞💻 :)

Thank you, you do not need to hurry!

Business Merger - Kurt Goreshter/Reader

Warnings: If you aren't in love with Kurt yet this might make you be cause oh my god I love him so much, gender-neutral reader, no use of Y/N, light grinding, oral, slight handjobs and fingering as prep, smut, pillowtalk /)w(\

Wordcount: 5337

Summary: You hated blind dates. Everyone knew this about you. So when your longtime friend claims to have gotten you a date with the hot guy on TV you don't know whether to hit her or kiss her, maybe by Friday you'll be able to tell.

Notes: My first fic with Kurt 💗🥰💗 I love him so much, I was giggling and kicking my feet as I tried to write as much of this at work as I could /)w(\ I also took so long you had a birthday, so ayyy happy birthday! I almost didn't write this one since I felt uncomfortable filling a smut request for a minor, but it all evened out naturally, and I see you in my notes all the time, so thank you so much for the request and I hope you like it 💗💗💗

You'd never been one for blind dates, for starters. Everyone knew this about you, how you preferred to get to know someone first before doing anything like meeting them, but when your longtime friend and co-worker briskly walked up to you that morning you knew you were in for trouble without even needing to know the reason.

‘How'd the merger go?’ you asked the moment she opened her mouth, but your attempts at saving yourself from whatever she had to say would not dissuade her today.

‘Potential merger, and that's precisely what I wanted to talk to you about,’ she told you excitedly; great, you'd walked right into it. ‘Y'know how we all thought they were small-time and this would be an easy buy?’ You did very much so, it was the talk of the office all week, one more small startup swallowed up by the big boys upstairs. ‘Well it turns out that they're the ones who stopped those guys last weekend! Y'know, the ones on TV who got interviewed when Ant-Man was splashing around the bay!’

‘Oh shit, that's who they were?’ You'd watched that report live, fascinated by the explosion on your feed about how one of the rogue heroes who fought alongside Captain America himself was now making an appearance after two years.

‘Yes! They still showed up for the merger, even after all that, and, get this, Harland doesn't even want to take them over anymore, he wants to make them affiliates! They're gunna have a floor here come August!’ She was clearly excited, with how hyperactive she got over normal things it must've been difficult for her to keep her composure while it was all going on, and you felt the need to commend her when she continued and stunned you silent. ‘But that's not the best part; a few of us got to talk with the guys afterwards over dinner, and guess who's got a date for Friday Night.’

‘Hmmm… is it you?’ You raised an eyebrow at her, she was always the one to get the dates growing up since she tended to outshine everyone in the group no matter who you were with, but she just shook her head and bit her lip with a wide grin.

‘Nope,’ she practically vibrated, that feeling that you were in trouble arising again seconds before: ‘It's you! We started talking about some other people from around the office and I brought you up and one of them thought you sounded nice, so you're meeting him in four days!’

You were stunned. You were genuinely, honest to God stunned. She'd known you practically all your life. She was basically an honourary sister to your family at this point. And she still went against your one rule against blind dates and with a local celebrity no less.

‘You're too happy to speak, I knew you would be, it's been a while since the last one, yeah? Don't worry, he might be a little eccentric but he was very nice, I almost asked him out myself, but I figured you might be a better match for him.’

You didn't know whether to be flattered or insulted, at least this date would be with a superhero, that would make for an interesting conversation starter at least. ‘Okay, well, I think I can handle a date with Ant-Man, yeah, that might be doable-’

‘What? Oh, no, your date is with his friend, the hot one with the hand tats.’ Again you were stunned silent, a deep blush spreading over your cheeks in not only remembrance of the man in question and how he was indeed hot, but also because you had no idea how you were going to pull off this not-so-blind-date with someone you knew nothing about other than that your boss almost bought him out. ‘I knew you'd be excited, you're so red- okay okay, so here's the address, it's that nice place over by that coffee shop we like, you know the one, he said he'll be waiting outside so you can go in together so do not be late, do you need me to write all this down, actually? Lemme grab a pen-’

Oh yeah, you were definitely in trouble.

The rest of the week went by in a blur, your thoughts on what the hell you were going to wear to this fancy as hell restaurant he'd picked out and what the hell you'd even say to him. You knew nothing about him other than the basics, that he was Russian thanks to the interview, that he was good with computers and worked with security thanks to your job wanting to buyout his, and apparently that he'd been in jail for five years thanks to the whispered word around the office. All four of them had, including Ant-Man himself which was incredibly interesting, but you'd never even stolen candy from the shop down the street when you were a kid, what were you going to have in common with this guy?

You were decent with computers, but that was only because you liked video games, and you were pretty sure this hardened criminal turned security expert (which now made sense to you) wasn't going to talk to you about the latest mobile games that were advertised to you no matter where you looked. This was why you hated blind dates, all of this was too stressful, everything you planned beforehand was just bouncing back to you as a negative, he wouldn't care, this was going to end in disaster. Hell, maybe the date would go so bad he'd convince the others to not accept the affiliation and they'd find someone else to partner with; you'd definitely be fired for that one, your entire job and livelihood were now on the line thanks to this date, if you didn't impress this guy you could lose it all-

You felt sick to your stomach as you called a cab to the restaurant, your outfit pristine and overly expensive as to impress him, your hair neatly styled and making you look sophisticated, and your stomach so upset that every bump in the road was about to make you ruin the upholstery.

There were already cars lined up outside, the valet taking their keys and switching out with the woman behind him, and you realized that a cab was not the right move to impress as the rich people outside looked down their noses at you. You resisted the urge to look down back at them if only to save the little you had for lunch as you stepped out, your hands clasping together as you nervously scanned the crowd for his somewhat familiar face.

You turned when you heard your name, your cab driving off and revealing the man jogging across the street to stand with you, and your face lit up at the sight of him; his hair was impeccably styled just as it was in the interview, which you definitely hadn’t watched about 50 times for any hint of what to say, and while he did wear a suit he also wore a leather jacket overtop, the collar upturned and making him still look a bit different than the people around you. You couldn't help but stare as he approached, his smile nervous but very excited as he gently grabbed you by the shoulders and kissed both of your cheeks.

‘I’m Kurt, from the meeting; is nice to meet you, your friend, the loud one with expressive eyes, she show me photo on the phone,’ he explained as his right hand remained on you, and it took you a moment to realize how tall he actually was when he stepped up onto the curb with you. ‘Reservation is for hour from now, I wish to know you better before we settle on whether to proceed with dinner or no, your friend said you would like that more than the “blind date,” as she called it.’

You made a mental note to buy her lunch as you nodded, the people around you staring at him as they tried to figure out if he was dangerous or not between the jacket and the heavy accent and the tattoos, and you felt protective as you took his hand and started off down the street.

‘Did you have anything in mind?’ you asked as you walked, and he looked around before pointing to the café you liked, your steps hurrying in excitement even though you were going to have dinner later.

‘Coffee?’ he just asked, and you nodded as you walked inside, dressed to the nines, and grabbed a table by the window. He pulled out your chair for you before sitting down across from you, the baristas who were already very familiar with you but not your date whispering behind the counter, you saw out of the corner of your eye. ‘Is nice place, I see as I head to work but never been inside,’ he thought as he looked around, his jacket now on the back of his chair and only making him look all the more dressed up without it.

‘Yeah, I come here almost every day, it's my favourite place,’ you said as you gazed upon the familiar decor, the smell of coffee and the sandwiches they made mixing perfectly with the donuts and other treats, your stomach growling as it eagerly waited for you to get your usual. ‘So, uh… what do… I mean I already know what you do for work, and I guess you know what I do? So um, what else do-?’ You were floundering, you were going to going to blow it, you were going to lose your apartment-

‘Forgiving me if I might be making you nervous? Your friend did saying you were preferring to talk beforehand, but when I heard about you…’ You instantly calmed as your expression softened, he was looking at you so genuinely as he rested his arms on the table, was… was he nervous? ‘You're looking so stunning tonight, your picture, it did not do you justice.’

You didn't realize your mouth was a little agape until you snapped it shut again, and when he smiled at you it was almost apologetic.

‘Sorry, is been a while for me, have I offended you?’ he then asked in response to your silence, and you were quick to sit forward and reach for his hand to make sure he stayed where he was.

‘No, no it's not that, it's just… it's been a while for me, too,’ you admitted to him, and he just smiled again before looking a bit more relaxed.

‘Good evening, may I take your order?’ The barista, Moina, someone who definitely did not have Waitress as part of her job, had approached while you were distracted, and you hid your face from her as he looked impressed with the service.

‘No, we're just talking before dinner,’ you tried to say, but your stomach growled again as Moina tapped her pen against her notepad with a smirk.

‘I'll bring you your usual, is there anything you would like, Mr….?’

‘Goreshter,’ he answered, the name sounding so good when said by him that it made you want to hear more. ‘Do you have the menu for to look over?’

‘She's not a waitress, she's just nosy,’ you revealed, and he nodded in understanding. ‘I guess one donut can't hurt our appetites too much.’ You stood together, Moina hurrying back to prepare your coffee while her co-worker eagerly awaited the gossip before the two of you walked over and instantly made her stop. He admired everything in the display cases, the large array of coffee ignored as he eyed up the pastries instead. You had been kidding, there was no way you'd fill up on sweets before what was going to be a painfully expensive dinner, but he didn't hold back as he motioned for someone to come over.

‘I'll be taking two of these,’ he told Moina as he pointed to the red-filled danishes on display, and she nodded as she got out two and placed them on some small plates on the counter. ‘Black coffee, also.’ His order was ready the same time yours was thanks to its simplicity, and you got out your wallet to pay for your own coffee when he held out his hand. ‘No paying, not when we're still on date,’ he just said, and you could only nod as he paid for yours as well and escorted you back to your table. You sat down and went to take a sip when he pushed the second danish towards you, it was a gift, and you were in the middle of trying to refuse when he shook his head and lifted his own. ‘You wish to know me, know I enjoy such desserts.’

‘But dessert before dinner?’ you asked conspiratorially, but he was already taking a bite, so you had no choice but to accept his kind offer. It turned out that the red was raspberry, and you hummed in enjoyment of it as you quickly took a second bite; that was what you loved about the place, no matter what you tried they always nailed it. He nodded in agreement to your enjoyment, and when your mouth was empty you took that sip of coffee, Moina making it exactly the way you loved yet again.

You talked casually as you ate, and you noted how the girls lowered the lights for atmosphere in your corner of the café as you listened intently to him speak. Never once did you bring up what happened at the bay, and only after you'd been talking for almost an hour did you learn that the Scott he was talking about was actually Ant-Man. You didn't realize you were late for your reservation by five minutes until you got a text from your friend, the question of if you'd had a fun time alerting you to the time, and you quickly got up and gathered your things; you'd taken off your own jacket ages ago, his suit coat joining the back of his chair, and he watched you disappointedly before you motioned to the door.

‘It's 8, we're gunna miss our reservation,’ you told him as you went to run your dishes back to the counter, Moina calling for you to leave them from her spot by the espresso machine.

‘You wish to continue?’ he asked hopefully, and you smiled just as hopefully as you nodded at him. He stood and grabbed his coats, his arm outstretched for you to take as you headed back out into the night, thumbs up from your friends the last thing you saw before the door closed behind you. Thankfully the restaurant was basically right next door, the walk over fast as you approached, but the new people heading in took one look at the both of you, linking arms, giddy from the pleasant conversation, with your coats hanging off of your free arms, and decided that you weren't good enough for this place. He straightened himself up, ready to walk in, but you held him back, your cheeks flushing again as you looked up at him.

‘Hey, why don't we do dinner at my place instead?’ you suggested carefully, your heart racing as he looked to the doors and then back at you.

‘I would prefer that, this place too trashy for my date,’ he agreed, the people around you offended as you then flagged down a cab, only for him to lead you to a parked van nearby. It was decaled professionally for his business, and the front seat was high and roomy as he helped you up to it, and when he joined you in the driver's seat he lifted your hand to press a kiss to your knuckles. ‘Where to?’

You fumbled your address twice before giving him the correct one, and something in the air changed as he pulled into the parking lot dedicated to your building. He followed you all the way up to your apartment, your nervous chuckle of, ‘Well, this is me,’ making him move a little closer to you as you unlocked the door and pushed it open. You were glad you'd cleaned in your panicked nervousness as he took in your place, your hands shaking a little as you took both his coats and laid them over the back of your couch after hanging up your own. ‘Uh, let's see what I've got in my kitchen, or we could order out? I can make a mean chicken parmesan though, or a burger? Whatever you're up for.’

You were nervously talking again, the change of location had completely reset you but for a different reason as he turned to face you, and behind that serious expression was something else; he was also nervous still, but there was excitement in there as well as the hope from before, and you swallowed when you realized you were backed against your table.

‘I can also order a pizza, if you'd like,’ you tried to continue, but all thoughts of eating went out the window as he lifted your hand to his mouth again. He took his time, kissing each of your knuckles all the way to your fingertips before placing your hand against his cheek, and the warmth of his skin was electric as he stepped so close to you but didn't make contact, he was waiting to see what you wanted.

‘ты мне очень нравишься,’ he whispered into your palm, and you felt your breath catch at it all, your mind not even processing that it wasn't even English at first. ‘I really like you,’ he clarified when you tried to ask what he said, and your eyes widened in excitement as he moved even closer, ‘I was very much happy you accepted the date.’

‘I am too, I mean, I like- I like you too,’ you whispered, your voice just barely escaping as he brushed his thumb over your jaw, and when he suddenly leaned down to kiss you you felt the sparks run down all the way to your toes. It was chaste, and he pulled away just as fast like he was surprised with himself, his body moving away from yours as he instantly apologized.

‘Forgiving me, I did not mean-’ he started to say, now he was the one panicking about messing everything up, and you just smiled before pulling him back down to continue the kiss.

He relaxed the moment he knew it was okay, your body leaning further and further until you were bent over the table, your back hitting the cold wood and your legs wrapping around his waist to keep him close. He groaned into your mouth, were you really about to do this? But one shift of his hips against you made you realize yes, yes you really were as you tangled your hand into his hair and made him do it again. He obliged, your body shifting up the table with each short thrust, your mouths only leaving the other to moan or pant, and when you could take it no longer you pushed him back enough to work on the buttons on his shirt.

‘Where is bedroom?’ he asked as he helped you, your heart pounding hard as he took off his shirt and stared down at you, and you only pointed down the hall before he was picking you up and carrying you. You kissed his neck the whole way there, and he found the correct door and placed you on your bed before helping you reach a similar state of undress. One by one your fancy clothes were tossed to the floor without a care, your perfectly styled hair a mess the more he kissed you and ran his hands through it. More tattoos revealed themselves to you as you became more acquainted with his bare skin, and they decorated him by staining his arm and chest black, souvenirs from his time in prison along with the ones on his hands. He was fit, with the tiniest amount of tummy, his skin plush under a dusting of hair that trailed down into his boxers, and you bit your lip at the sight of what eagerly awaited you underneath.

He didn't remove them though, just cupped the back of your neck and leaned you back until he was on his hands and knees above you; he spoke in Russian again, catching himself faster this time before telling you that you were stunning, the thrill calming a bit as he just looked down at you. ‘So lovely, from moment I saw I wanted to be meeting you,’ he said softly, a sudden thickness in your throat as you felt more adored than you ever had been before.

‘I was excited when she told me I would be seeing you tonight,’ you admitted, and he smiled gently before leaning down to press kisses from your lips down to your collarbone. You watched him as he worshiped you, his hands trailing over your sides as he moved further down, your chest heaving as he hooked his fingers under the band of your underwear. He spoke in Russian again but he didn't have to translate as you just nodded, your last article of clothing joining the others as he lifted your legs over his shoulders and kissed you again.

Your hands found his head as he moaned against you, not wanting to force him down but also really wanting to do nothing more than that as he gripped your hips, and when he silently encouraged you to move as you pleased you didn't dare offend him by keeping still. He knew what he was doing, his tongue just as talented as his hands must’ve been as your pleasure built, the thought of him slipping a digit or three inside of you making you jolt as a particularly good burst made you gasp. He didn't stop until you warned him, the hand in his hair tugging a little too hard and making him groan again, he wanted to finish but you needed him, you couldn't let him go home without him coming too, and you were not going to let it be via your hand after that.

He licked his lips as he caught his breath, the sight of him between your trembling thighs so enticing that you couldn't hold back, and you sat up just enough to grab his hands and guide him back up to you. You could taste yourself on his tongue as he kissed you, your head swimming as he laid himself flat over you, his weight feeling so comfortable and addicting that just the realization of waking up without him tomorrow morning was suddenly a painful thought even though it'd never occurred to you before. You clung to him then, scared that he might disappear, but he wasn’t afraid of your sudden desperation as he kissed you so softly it nearly made you cry.

‘I wish to have you,’ he asked against your lips, and you kissed him again before nodding, his forehead resting against your own.

‘I wish to have you too,’ you told him back, and when he sat back to slip his boxers over his hips and down his legs you thought that he might be the most beautiful thing on earth. Usually you weren't so sentimental, not for sudden hookups at least, but with him it felt right as he laid beside you and got you to straddle him. You'd seen it but he felt so large pressing against you, your throat thick again as you gave yourself a quick reprieve to grab the lube and condoms you kept in your nightstand, both rather neglected since your last relationship had ended. You felt nervously giddy as you tore open the condom, unsure if you should put it on him or if you should hand it over while you prepared yourself, your mind going blank as he whispered something you didn't understand and guided your hands down.

Wordlessly he helped you roll it onto him, his movements slow and patient as you felt his pulse under your fingertips; he was so hard you didn't know how he could be this calm when it was killing you, your body already aching to have him inside of you. He could sense your readiness but he just chuckled lightly to himself, his large hand wrapping around yours and trapping your palm and fingers around his dick as he led you to give him a slow stroke, then another, and another, his eyes glazing over as you got the picture and continued as he let you go and picked up the lube from where you’d placed it.

You felt your breath still as he poured some onto his palm, a blush spreading down to your shoulders as he then coated his own fingers in it instead of letting you, and when he sat up and got comfortable against your headboard you crawled on your knees until you were on his lap, your hand still moving over him as he reached between your legs. ‘Tell me if it’s becoming too much,’ he told you, your lips parting before you felt him press against your entrance; instantly your back arched as he held you in place, a hiss escaping through his teeth as you squeezed him a little too hard, and you apologized as you quickly kissed him, each sorry eaten up as he started to finger you in earnest.

You resisted the urge to ride him as he worked, your hand keeping a steady pace in return as you were stretched open for him, his hands truly just as talented as his tongue as he found that sweet spot inside of you that made your eyes roll back. He spoke to you again as he held you to his chest, but you weren’t sure what language it was this time as your waning orgasm was teasingly built up again. ‘D-don’t,’ you managed to say, needing to warn him not to do it too much, and he kissed your neck as he went back to stretching you instead, a second finger added and scissoring you open. You bit your lip and sped up your hand on him, now you the one to tease as he had to stop, the desperate groan in your ear telling you that he couldn’t wait any longer.

‘ты мне нужен,’ you heard him say before you were toppling to the side and onto your back, your body bouncing just a little before he was pushing your legs to your chest. ‘ты такой замечательный…’

You thought for just a moment that maybe he couldn’t concentrate long enough to translate anymore, English completely forgotten to him now that you were in his arms, and you wanted to hear more as he lined himself up and pushed inside as far as he could go. You share a breath as you both stilled, your arms around him as he clung to you and the sheets, time stopping as you looked up into his eyes. It’d never been like this before, usually if you were lonely enough for a hookup you’d quickly fuck and that would be it, but this was different, he was different as he let you adjust around him, his hand finding yours again as he kissed it before breathing shakily against your palm.

‘я хочу, чтобы это длилось вечно…’ His voice was so soft, his hips jutting slightly with every shift of your bodies, and you brought him back down to you as you wrapped your legs around him again.

‘Please,’ was all you could say back, and he kissed you as he started to move. His hand stayed grasped in yours as he thrust into you, a slow but still deliciously hard pace that had you rocked up towards the headboard with each one. Your nails dragged and dug into his skin as you clung to his back, presumably a curse falling from his lips as his free hand slid from your lower back to your hip. You couldn’t get enough of him, how each kiss still tasted like black coffee and danishes, how he was so big but he still held you soft enough that you wouldn’t even bruise, how even when his pace sped up a little he never stopped holding your hand.

You linked your fingers together and urged him for more, you weren’t even sure if he could understand you anymore as he just opened his eyes to look into yours, but one quick kiss was enough to break the barrier when you nipped at his lower lip. He smirked at you before flipping you back over, a laugh leaving you as you were effortlessly pulled back into straddling him; the top of his head hit the headboard in his excitement and you laughed again as he swore, but still your hands didn’t separate as he kept fucking up into you, his own big smile on his face when he saw yours. You braced yourself on his chest, right over another tattoo as you rode him, the angle allowing him to go even deeper as you arched back, his hand gliding over the expanse of your thigh, your hip, your stomach, your chest, all so he could commit you to memory.

‘ты красивый,’ he breathed, something in his tone making you stop and stare, and something in those words made the lump in your throat return until you were sniffling; you didn’t realize you were crying until he was sitting up, pulling you towards him, your movements stilling as he kissed away your tears and held you to him. He helped you move as you continued to ride him, your chests pressed together while he kissed your neck and held your face to his shoulder, more praise falling from his lips as it all became too much.

You clenched down around him as you came, and he grabbed your hip and guided you so you’d keep moving, your knees aching but you never stopped until he was laying back down again. You let him use you as he chased his own release, your hands now clasped between your chests as you caught your breath, and when he finally came you felt almost disappointed at the fact that you couldn’t feel him come inside you, a thought that had never occurred before now seeming so warranted as he collapsed onto the mattress. You didn’t let him pull out as you remained on his chest, your head in the crook of his neck as you watched his Adam’s apple bob with each swallow, and finally his hand left yours if only to cup your cheek.

‘милая моя… you… you are wonderful,’ he panted, his senses coming back to him as he kissed the side of your head, and you practically melted into him as you held him a little tighter.

‘It’s Saturday tomorrow, I hope you’re not planning on leaving,’ you tried to tease, but you couldn’t help the slight hopefulness that crept into your voice.

‘нет, I took weekend off for date,’ he said, his hand now brushing through your hair. ‘I did not want to hope, but…’ Your face flushed again, the thought of someone like him being so nervous about what you’d think of him making you feel more important than any date or partner had ever before. ‘Monday, we will becoming neighbours together, we start moving our stuffs into floor below yours, I’ll be seeing you more?’

‘Oh you’ll be seeing me a lot more, if you’d like?’ Your finger traced shapes over his chest, that hope arising again as you looked up at him, and when he smiled you had to stop yourself from confessing your love after the first date.

‘I would be liking that, very much.’

Maybe blind dates weren’t so bad, after all.

#Ray's Readers #Ray's Requests #david dastmalchian #kurt goreshter #kurt goreshter x reader

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ushdubsar · 2 years

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2022's Music Was Really Good

I'm crossposting this from Twitter, technically, because it took over an hour to write the damn thread and I don't want to rewrite it, not even to add stuff I omitted. It's long enough. I'm not including album covers again, because that was a miserable task. You get what you get.

---

The music to come out this year is unreal. I had my AOTY overturned several times when it seemed locked in -- I'd dare to say if any of these releases had been anywhere in the past 16 years other than 2022, they'd have been the top of that year.

Let's start with the non-nu metal releases that crossed my radar this year.

Chat Pile's God's Country is the Texas Chainsaw Massacre of ugly AmRep noise rock. I don't have the words to give it what it deserves, just trust that it's worth your time. Slaughterhouse, The Mask and especially Why are particularly impressive. Go listen.

But noise rock wasn't just remade in the image of an ugly rotten-meat deity. It was also beaten to a pulp by Thank's no-wave dancepunk abomination, Thoughtless Cruelty. Dread is delicious, Good Boy is anti-centrist genius, and A Social Contract violates several such beasts.

The last noise rock artist to blow the wheels off of the genre was Haunted Horses, with the fevered panic attack dreamscape of The Worst Has Finally Happened. It reminds me of my actual AOTY in just how bombastic and maximalist it is. Check out Swarms especially.

Next up: jazz-ambient project Crooked Light released a trio of hazy fog-drenched Silent Hill-ass EPs -- and I mean the hypnotic, low-key softer tracks of the first two games, not the death industrial/triphop that eventually swallowed the series. I Have Crept In is my favorite.

Still in ambient territory, Tineidae's magnificent Exo was followed by the even more overwhelming Mothership, once again capturing my love of Cryo Chamber's soundtracky vibe and my obsession with space ambient soundscaping.

Also from Cryo Chamber, Gdanian released Induction, which is a more aggressively atmospheric approach than Submersion's dubby bassline chillness, and manages to nail it. Honestly beats Tineidae for space ambient excellence, and that's saying a fucking lot.

ANOTHER Cryo Chamber masterpiece, Skrika released an impressive follow up to Fifth Nature in Soludenia. Crunchy alien electro-dark-ambient is the order of the day, with distant vocal lines and a nearly unparalleled mastery of the solitary individual sound. Incredible.

The final one I'm including from Cryo Chamber, Metatron Omega's ISIH manages to match and exceed the work of Kurt Harland's Soul Reaver soundtrack in vast, ancient occult grandeur. It's an apt comparison too: this album would easily slot into a Soul Reaver remake.

Author & Punisher's Kruller is everything you could want from Tristan at this point in his career. It's not just more of the same, but it attacks new realms of electronic music without compromising the core goods. Misery is particularly impressive to me.

Zeal & Ardor, of course, released the best thing Manuel's put his name on to date in their self-titled album. If you haven't heard it, just go listen. I want you to realize this isn't the AOTY, and I want you to know WHAT missed that bus.

And I want to reiterate, all of these could be AOTY in any other year. Many of them would be effortless winners, just walking in the room and immediately demanding all eyes on them. 2022 had something extra special.

Unfortunately for everyone, I'm a nu metal freak and particularly horny for nu-metalcore, so that's what you're getting. I'll apologize, but I won't mean it and you'll be more disappointed about me lying than my actual love of nu metal, so let's not do that.

Let's start with the one I've raved about since release: Gloom in the Corner released Trinity, a fucking masterpiece. I haven't heard music this good since 2006. Tristania's Ashes. There have been releases that have almost met that mark in the years since, but Gloom is special.

Yes, Trinity is my AOTY. It's not up for debate. The weakest songs are wildly inventive and take skill I don't possess. Beyond moshing and emotional resonance, it also tells a story better than the band's past releases, and covers such a wide range it's not even fair. MUST HEAR.

Next up: 156/Silence's Narrative is a leering nightmare of self-loathing, spite and mean-spirited brooding that belongs somewhere around Haunted Horses and Crooked Light for sheer atmospheric depths. But don't despair, it knows how to fucking thump too. Check Say The Phrase.

Moodring's Stargazer is lighter than the nu-core shit I obsess over most, so I was ready to write it off. But on release day it took over my ears for a solid month. Unreal. The album doesn't flow like an album so much as a mixtape, but it kicks anyway. Amazing. Check out Xeno.

Graphic Nature is an underrated unknown in the nu-core arena, and New Skin kept on proving the point. It's no full album, but it punches way above its weight class and every song is an instant moshpit classic. The coming album is a likely AOTY contender in 2023.

Notions' self-titled release was an AOTY contender itself for MONTHS, with songs like WOODGUTS and Velvet Room holding their own against the snarling chaos of World Arcana and TxxthTxker. Unfortunately, this is 2022 and this genius rapcore falls into the top ten. What the fuck.

Northlane's Obsidian tightened up their sound from the incredible Alien to the point that the whole album could have been pop music, taking a lot of elements I recognized from futurepop and other goth-club genres. Nevertheless, it felt inventive throughout.

I don't have the space to explain how much I loved Obsidian, so I'll just point out Clarity, Carbonized, Cypher and Nova all coexist. Oh, and Marcus has a voice that manages to go from grimy snarls to enervated goth-stomp intoning to angelic belting. Please listen.

In other goth-club-meets-nu-core releases, Void of Vision feels like they've finally nailed their sound in the Chronicles series. Chronicles II: Heaven exceeded my high expectations, with Berghain and Into the Dark especially sounding like Aesthetic Perfection doing metalcore.

Vein.fm's This World Is Going To Ruin You was an early favorite for AOTY, easily burying 2021. I didn't know what 2022 had in store, though. A song like Funeral Sound reminds me of The Paper Chase, and then there's The Killing Womb. The album is meant to be looped, too.

It's composed as perfectly as Gloom's Trinity, as a matter of fact, and has songs as wildly varied as Magazine Beach's pop-punky propulsion, Wherever You Are's tense ambience, Wavery's ratcheting energy, etc, etc. I could go on forever. LISTEN.

liveconformdie has come a long way from the pretty damn good Vol I: Cigarette Lullaby. Circa '94 should be rightfully considered a classic, and Vol II: Music for Living Failures improves upon that even further. As repetitive as Terrorwave and Nu Life are, they never get old.

Fetish is practically my theme song, Help Yourself is right at home next to Northlane and Void of Vision, Trash Culture is a pitch-perfect piece of trapcore, and even the interlude, In The Dark, manages to be memorable and delicious. You're missing out if you skip this.

Are we done? ARE WE FUCK. Weeping Wound put out idontbelonghere, a horrifying, alienating blend of dark-core DnB, evil industrial experimentation, and nu-core loathing that smashes your car to bits and overdoses in your kitchen. Unreal stuff for a 5 song EP.

Honestly, idontbelonghere. is so good it takes EPOTY from Graphic Nature, and that's just not fucking fair. How the fuck do you beat Chokehold? Apparently with dreaming.room. If there's a full-length in the works, 2023 is going to be a fucking knife fight for the crown.

But wait, there's more! ten56., one of my favorite bands, released three singles from their 2023 EP Downer pt. 2, and do you know how many of them broke my fucking legs? ALL OF THEM! Honestly, Aaron Matts is up there with Jack Murray and Mikey Arthur for my favorite vocalist.

Yenta is a full-song hostile breakdown that leaves you barely able to move your busted toes. Traumadoll is almost nothing but screaming trap-rap, alienating production and chugs like a bombing run. RLS is Soundcloud-rap-core, and I'm underselling it because of space. LISTEN.

Just when you thought we might be near the end, I'm here to tell you there's two more of these fucking things. Witness Orthodox's Learning to Dissolve, a full-length audio torture chamber. It's just aggression from start to finish, with the industrial interlude 11762 for flavor.

Head on a Spike, Cave In, Digging Through Glass, and Dissolve are all must-hear, but singling them out undersells the other songs on the album. It's another album that would have been AOTY any other fucking year, but it picked the stacked-as-a-motherfucker 2022 instead.

Finally, the release I thought would be the also-ran honorable-mention, but ended up being back of even that line: Profiler's self-titled EP. If you're looking for nostalgia, just go here. Glitch Theory is a lost Linkin Park song, Alpha Nine could have come from Deadsy, etc.

And that's it. I can't fucking believe how long this shit is. 2022, what the fuck was wrong with you? It's fucking distressing. If the bar for good music jumped that high that fast, the coming years look grim. Good luck, up-and-comers! You have some stiff fucking competition.

#repost from my twitter #2022 music #nu metal #dark ambient #other music

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