#ladies I have been absolutely miserable this past week because my new neighbors have been causing so many problems and they have only been

[onedirecton]

last night was the first night in about week where I had absolutely peace so I hope it continues 💗🫶

[tempered-in-flame]

Part 0- Reflecting

Welcome to the very very first part/pilot for the story Tempered in Flame! I say this is the pilot because this explains one of the main character's backstory. Hopefully in a couple of weeks, Chapter 1, Of Humble beginnings will be fully edited, and you'll see it on this blog! (P.S. if you reblog this ill be infinitely happy this story as a concept has been rattling in my brain for years and i really want validation) Without further ado, here it is.

Words: 3331

Summary: Azarra Gabree, during a quiet night, finds herself reminiscing on her past, and the regrets surrounding the night she escaped her home town.

Azarra didn’t think about Goldcrest often. The town she was born in held little sentimental value for her. However, she was in a sentimental mood. She had settled in for the night and didn’t have anything better to think about. The most memorable night she could think of was the night she ran away from home.

———————-

I realized too late that I had stayed out with the barkeep’s daughter, Kit, too long. The sun was beginning to set and I was going to be late for dinner.

“Damn it.” I said

“Something wrong?” She asked.

“I gotta go, need me to take you home?” I asked. Usually I didn’t do this to dates, but I knew my parents wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t home on time, and I was already late as it was.

“I’d get lost without you here, so lead the way.” I could tell she was disappointed, but I was trying to avoid ruining the relationship I had with my parents as it was, not like there was much to salvage.

I hurried out of the woods with Kit, dropped her off near her house, hopefully away from prying eyes, and got to my house. I slowly opened the door and saw I was later than I assumed. Everyone was at the table already. My sister and our parents were all staring at me. Rue quickly looked down as our parents sighed, and Rue became preoccupied with staring into her dinner.

“On the counter. Wash up first, please, Azarra.” Mother said. She sounded exasperated already. That was never a good sign.

“Thanks. Sorry I’m late. Lost track of time.” I said. I carefully washed my hands and took my dinner to the table. My excuse was true this time but I always used the same one no matter what happened.

It had been silent since I had walked in. Rue wasn’t eating, and our parents were staring at each other. I sighed quietly and started eating. Rue was watching me carefully while I avoided everyone’s gaze.

“Can I be excused? I need to use the restroom.” Rue asked. Our father nodded. She gingerly got up and walked out of the room. It was then I knew what was coming. They had talked about me before I came in, and Rue knew what was coming. I slowly looked up at our parents.

“Why can’t you think about something besides yourself, Azarra?” My mother sighed. She had her head in her hands. Rue was a few years younger than me but she was so much smarter, excusing herself every time we’d argue. The fights always upset her.

“I said I was sorry.” I had come home for dinner late. Which means, I was in trouble. I was out for the day exploring the woods, which I was not supposed to do, as a ‘lady’, and may have brought a girl out there to make out with, and we may have done other things. Those things I was especially not supposed to do considering my existence as a ‘lady’.

I told them time and time again that I was not a lady, woman, or girl, or that I did like women and men and that they or I couldn’t help either fact of my existence, but they never listened.

“It’s absolutely foolish! You can’t just go wherever you please. We have to have some semblance of order in this house.” He said. I was pretty sure I absolutely could. Goldcrest had no laws against taking a girl to the woods to make out with, maybe not to do other things with, but no one but us needed to know about that part. We went into the woods on purpose. No one could hear us out there anyway. Until a busybody saw us go out there and told both of our parents. As if we weren’t both old enough to make our own choices. But, as my wonderful parents would say, my house, my rules.

“Can’t I?” I asked. I added fuel to the fire. I was particularly fed up with them both today.

“Absolutely not Azarra. It’s unbecoming of anyone, especially a lady to refuse to follow the simple rules we lay out. Your sister can follow them just fine!” Mother said. She was exasperated. Neither of them knew how to deal with me. They hadn’t wanted to raise a boy, they weren’t raising one anyway, but they weren’t expecting to raise me, either. They really wanted a child like Rue. A quiet decoration to show the neighbors. I felt awful for her.

“Hardly a lady, mother. You know that. And don’t you dare bring up Rue!” I said. My temper rose. “You know this isn’t about her.” I growled. My younger sister was their favorite and I knew it, it wasn’t fair of them to drag her into this fight or compare me to her.

“Your mother is right. You can’t keep staying out so late. And that forest is dangerous. You don’t know what could be out there.” He said. “And besides, your sister is perfectly happy without wandering outside at all hours. Especially with a girl. The barkeep’s daughter no less. You know better.” He continued. I did know better, that much he was right about, I just chose to continue doing what little things brought me any joy in the miserable city of Goldcrest.

“Not you too.” They can’t gang up on me, especially not using Rue as ammunition. “You can’t compare me to Rue like that, it’s unfair.” I said. Any other night I’d lay down and take it. Tonight was different somehow. Tonight I felt bold. “Not like I kidnapped Kit anyways, she went willingly with me. Apparently she had nothing better to do than be with me.” I shrugged, they both sighed. Rue was still hiding. She always excused herself when she saw a fight coming on. She was too good at noticing when we were about to argue.

“It’s not our fault she’s a far better daughter than you are.” Mother spat.

“I’m not your daughter and you know it. Rue understands that at least!” That was the last straw. I told them at least a hundred times that I wasn’t a girl and they still wouldn’t understand that I was nonbinary and wouldn’t be their daughter. They never got it into their heads. At least Rue could mold herself to their expectations.

“Just- just go to your room. We will discuss this more in the morning.” Mother sighed. “I just wish I knew what to do with you.”

I chose to ignore her final remark. “Already going.” I said. I had a plan already to avoid the discussion she wanted to have tomorrow. I was already tired of them trying to run my life for me, and I had better plans for myself. I bit back the retort I had while her last few words hung in my mind.

I walked into the room Rue and I shared. I rifled through my drawers. I tried to not act out loudly and show the argument had gotten to me. They don’t deserve my attention, not with how they decided to treat me. I had been biding my time for a day like this. I had a plan laid out. I’d find the local militia of a nearby town, stowing away onto a ship if I had to. I had some sword fighting skills, and if they don’t know that I look like a girl, they’ll let me fight. After that I wasn’t sure, but eventually I’d get it all sorted out.

After a while, I heard our parents go into their bedroom after washing the dishes. Then I heard the bedroom door creak open.

“Azzy? Is everything alright?” Rue gingerly opened the door. She looked tiny standing there. Her hair was neatly braided back out of her face. If everyone told me I looked like our mother, she was the spitting image of our father. Long dark hair, similar to mine, but her eyes were lighter than mine, and significantly more expressive. Right now I could tell she was nervous after the fight. But, she was their favorite of the two of us. She didn’t steal our fathers clothing and not give it back, even if it didn’t really fit properly. Or kiss girls in the woods. Sometimes kiss boys in the woods if I felt like it. She’d probably end up kissing boys when she got older, hopefully our parents wouldn’t give her hell for it like they did to me. I knew the boys weren’t their problem with me, but they had high standards for Rue.

“Everything’s fine. No one got hurt. You heard the fight?” I asked. Of course I knew she had heard. We were shouting loud enough the neighbors could probably hear us. I hoped I hadn’t caused Kit or her parents much grief by keeping her out late too.

“Worst one in a while, huh?” I nodded. Probably the pettiest fight there’s been in a while. Worst one we had was when I came out to them when they’d pissed me off. That was a fight. That was the first one that made Rue cry. I told her beforehand years before I told them. I was fed up that day, like tonight. Tonight, I was ending it for good and removing myself from the situation.

“Not like them shouting will make me stop going into the woods. I’ve wandered out there for years.” I go out there to blow off steam. Typically that means slashing away at stumps with old swords I found out there, finding new places to stash things, and occasionally woodcarving with knives I stole from the kitchen. Sometimes it means taking someone I was dating out for some privacy. Goldcrest spreads gossip quickly. Only takes a couple of the loneliest older women here to notice one thing, then it’s all over town. Nothing like your parents finding out who you’re dating from the neighbors hearing that someone’s been seeing you out with their kids.

Now, those were the big fights. Like tonight. I could admit that tonight I was at my limit and lost my temper worse than usual, not like they didn’t help in the matter. I’d been planning to leave for months, I was grown up enough to survive on my own, I figured, if someone would take me in somewhere or I could find steady enough work. Anywhere would be better than Goldcrest.

“You are stubborn.” She said. Smiling a little. “So, how are you going to fix this one?” She asked. Usually I ‘fixed’ it by ignoring them just slightly less so they’d think I was improving and they’d lay off until I got bold again, then the cycle continued from there.

We’d only escalated to physical fighting once. Even then I just got a split lip from when our father slapped me across the face. The wound wasn’t his fault but it was barely healed over from when I fell the day before. Since then, he never raised a hand against me. He probably felt guilty injuring me like he did, even accidentally. Rue cried all night after patching me back up. I hated worrying her. She was too young to worry so much about me and our parents. Even with her help, it scarred and was still there now, although it had healed better than I expected it would.

“You won’t like it.” I said. I had planned to leave after an argument like that. “I plan to remove myself from the issue entirely.” I shut the drawer. I was haphazardly putting things into my backpack. Then, I had an idea. I went quietly downstairs and took the scissors from the drawer they rested in when no one was getting a haircut. I went back into our room.

“Azzy?” She looked at me quizzically. “That doesn’t sound good.” I felt guilty with her staring at me.

“Can’t we discuss it later? Anyways, I always knew I needed to do something and I want you to do the honors.” I handed my sister the scissors our mother used on our hair occasionally. “Get it as short as you can muster.” I certainly needed some catharsis after the shit our parents pulled all these years. Now was as good a time as any.

“You know they’ll be furious, Azzy, I can’t do that.” She looked worried for me. “Won’t that just make it all worse?”

“They’ll never need to know. Just do it, Rue. I trust you.” I said, pressing the scissors into her hand. She nodded, understanding some of what I meant. I didn’t want to say outright I was leaving her. I knew I couldn’t take her with me. I’d get her hurt- or worse- taking her with me tonight, wherever I was going.

“Okay.” She took a deep breath, and she knelt behind me.

“You can’t screw it up, I promise. I just want you to cut it all off the first time.” I said. I felt her taking my hair gingerly off from my shoulders, coming it back with her fingers, and finally, cutting the first chunk off. I smiled. I knew she was focusing on trying to cut my hair so I didn’t touch it to gauge length.

“I think I understand what you’re planning, Azarra.” She said. I knew then that she fully understood I was leaving. She only called me my full name if she was upset with me.

“Can’t we talk about that later?” I asked.

“Not if you’re going to leave me.” She said. Her voice was tight.

“After you finish cutting it all off we can talk about it. I promise it’ll all turn out okay.” I assured her. I also was attempting to assure myself that I would be okay doing this. I had planned this for months, I was ready. But I hated leaving rue with our parents. They’d go harder on her with me gone.

“Sure, Azzy.” She said. I heard the scissors opening and closing. She was quiet and we both knew why.

I saw my hair, dark and long, littering the floor of our bedroom. I had waited for this to happen for years. It was the first step on a long road to feeling like myself for once.

“I’m glad you’re doing this and not me.” I said. I tried to lighten the mood. I didn’t think it would work, but I tried regardless.

“Sure you are.” She almost laughed. “Do you want to see how much I’ve cut off?” I nodded, and touched the back of my neck. I already felt like a weight had been lifted.

“I feel a lot better already, Rue.”

“Glad someone’s happy.”

“I have a plan. I promise.”

“Do you want to do the front? I think this is a good length for the back and sides.” She said. I took the scissors from her and found the closest mirror. I slowly cut my hair into almost bangs that matched the choppy, chin length hair Rue cut for me.

“Thanks, Rue.”

“You already look happier.” She said, smiling. I felt like a little kid next to her sometimes. Her smile quickly faded as she remembered why she cut my hair. “What’s your plan?” She asked.

I sighed deeply. “For the militia, and across the water if I can. As far as I can get from this place. Don’t think this isn’t hard for me, Rue. It is. If I had a better plan, I wouldn’t leave you here with them. Remember that.” I said. “And they shouldn’t take it out on you, and if they do, give em hell for me, okay?”

“I know Azzy. And I will.” She mustered a smile. “You got everything?”

“I think so. I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She said.

“No promises.” I shook my head before giving her a hug. I heard her sniffle into my shoulder. I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn’t bear looking at her crying like that. Especially not knowing she was crying because of me.

Eventually we both let go and I turned away. Then I walked out of our room, put the scissors back in their drawer, walked through the rest of our house, and left out the front door. I didn’t leave a note, Rue could clue them in if they didn’t get the message after the fight. They didn’t deserve a note anyways. Rue didn’t deserve to have to lose me. They were fucking terrible to me, and I hope Rue wouldn’t put up with that when I was gone.

I was finally outside and I looked up. The sky looked huge from the ground and it was dark and clear enough to see all the stars and the moon. I stood there for a moment, looking up at it all and taking a deep breath, feeling like I could finally really breathe for the first time.

————-

Azarra sat alone in the woods with her companion, Vil, at her side. A lot had changed since that night. She wondered if Rue was doing okay, she thought about that a lot, then she touched the back of her neck, feeling the short hair she maintained since she left Goldcrest.

She thought about how much she’s changed, the walls she built up after running away, the scars on her face and body from mistakes she made years ago. The body she built for herself with the help of a particularly willing wizard. They didn’t ask questions. She didn’t give anything away.

She thought about the wolf she befriended so long ago, Vil, she called him, and how much he’d grown since then, she’d grown too but not nearly as much as he had, and that he’d been with her since she left the militia before they kicked her out. He was asleep by her feet as she sat with her legs up by the fire.She thought about her sister, too. Rue was the only person Azarra had missed from her old home in Goldcrest.

But Goldcrest wasn’t home now, and she couldn’t go back, she didn’t want to anyway. The only things she had left from there now were the bitter memories of what happened that night and thoughts about the wellbeing of her sister. She hoped she had left them too, Goldcrest wasn’t good enough for Rue. Azarra wasn’t sure even she was good enough for her sister. She kept staring into the flames. Her mind ran in circles while the flames died down. It had been at least 3 years since she left. Rue would nearly be Azarra’s age when she left their home by now. Tears welled up in her throat at that thought. She swallowed it down. It wouldn’t do her any good to reminisce on the past any further than she had right now. She scratched the back of Vil’s neck. He was still asleep.

Eventually she laid down and looked up at the sky. The same stars and moon she saw that night were shining tonight. It was a cloudless night again, and she wondered still if her sister was seeing them this time, and thinking about her, as foolish as it felt to think about. She forced those thoughts down, she had other concerns, like her next job. She was a mercenary now, and mercenaries don’t have concerns like their old families, just their next destination, if they had any destination planned. She’d probably never see Rue again anyway, unless she went back to Goldcrest, and that wasn’t likely to happen.

Slowly she became tired and her eyes slid shut as she was laying on the ground, and finally, she slipped into a thankfully dreamless sleep.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Desires 11

A/n: Supernatural RPF. 

Link to Chapter 10

Pairings: Richard Speight Jr x Reader

________

Arriving at the restaurant, you smiled seeing Misha and Vicki sitting at a table talking quietly. Both smiled the moment that you walked.

“So how did the doctor appointment go?”

Vicki asked eagerly. You adjusted yourself in the seat as the waiter handed you a glass of water.

“It was good. The baby looks fine. I’m looking around 2 ½ months.”

Vicki smiled eagerly clasping her hands together.

“Goodie! We need a new baby around here.”

Misha meanwhile, was shaking his head but looked as amused as his wife.

“So, how did Richard do?”

You looked pleased. Misha was relieved to see you smile too. Since the two of you had “split” things had been difficult for everyone.

“He actually did really well. I’m going by to talk in a little while. Maybe we can work all of this out. I know that I have been stubborn.”

Misha shrugged.

“Well, he kind of deserved what he got. Planned or not that was out of line. That wasn’t like Richard at all. I was kind of curious if our Richard had been abducted by aliens and had been replaced with something else.”

You nodded.

“I know. I think that is what set me off. I expected it to be kind of like when I found out that I was pregnant with Charlee. He was so happy then. I think it was because we were both in agreement for a baby at that point. This time it wasn’t that way.”

Misha leaned back.

“Shouldn’t matter. If he can knock you up then he can man up and get over the shock.”

Vicki looked at her husband and signaled for him to stop. You, meanwhile, reached over and patted Vicki’s hand.

“It’s okay. His concerns are legitimate and honestly Vicki it isn’t something that I haven’t thought of already.”

Vicki took a sip of her drink before looking back to you.

“I just don’t want us to come across as being bossy or rude.”

You shook your head. “I haven’t thought that in the slightest. It's good to have protective friends. Richard knows that he was in the wrong and he has been trying to make up. He really has been trying. I have to give him that. A lot of this drama has been me afraid of getting hurt again. I just felt let down.”

Vicki had wrapped her hand back around yours.

“Well, we can all be stubborn. I think you both need to do exactly what you are going to do…sit down and talk.”

Misha nodded.

“She’s right. I’m just being difficult because I care about you.”

You smiled.

“I know and I’m flattered.”

A few hours later you stood outside of Richard’s house taking a breath before stepping inside.

“Rich?”

You called out his name as you walked through the quiet living room.

“Kitchen, sugar.” You smiled when he called you sugar. It didn’t matter how many times you would tell him to stop while being at odds he wouldn’t. Today, however, hearing that pet name made you irrationally happy.

Walking into the kitchen Richard stood watching TV with a frown on his face. He looked up the moment that you walked in.

“Hey. Have a good time with Misha and Vicki? Does Misha still want to kill me?”

You took off her jacket before sitting down across from Richard. You carefully watched Richard for a few moments. He looked exhausted as he leaned against the counter. Richard had averted his attention from you. He wasn’t sure what to expect when it came to the meeting that was taking place. Was he getting his fiance and family back or were you going to continue straining the relationship along until one of you tapped out for good?

Richard had been contemplating what Rob had said right after you left.

“Look Rich, you have kinda brought this on yourself. You have been so in love with Y/n from the moment you saw her. You have to find some way to fix this! Do you really want your kids going between houses and calling another man dad?”

That quote from his best friend had been plaguing Richard’s mind for days. He absolutely refused to accept the mere possibility of someone else taking the place that he currently occupied. There was no way that Richard could stand the thought of another man touching you the way that he did. The idea of Charlee calling some other guy dad…hell fucking no! Your voice pulled Richard from his negative thoughts,

“No. I think he’s fine. Richard, about us….look I don’t want to fight anymore. I shouldn’t have thrown such a tantrum.”

Richard’s amber eyes rolled up before he shut the TV off.

“Y/n, come here.”

Richard’s arms wrapped around your pressing a kiss to your lips. The small kiss quickly turned urgent until Richard pulled away.

“Before we get carried away…sugar, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was the one that was being an ass. I should have never acted like that. Why I did…I have no idea. I should have been happy….I am happy. After seeing the baby on the ultrasound it just sealed the deal. I don’t want to lose you.”

You stood on your tiptoes to kiss his chin.

“I don’t want to lose you either.”

Richard reached out, cupping your cheek, and pulled you back against him. Neither moved for a moment. Richard let his hands slide down your body.

“These past few weeks have been the most miserable of my life. What can I do to get you to come home?”

You wrapped your arms around Richard’s shoulders and snuggled your face into his shoulder.

“I am home. I’m not leaving again….well maybe to go get our daughter and I will be right back.”

Richard smiled giving you a suggestive eyebrow wiggle and motioning to the stairs.

“Well, before you go taking off to get her….”

You were just as eager as Richard did for some makeup time.

“That sounds lovely besides it isn’t like Charlee will be ready to leave dad’s anytime soon. She is still in love with her new pony.”

She had to hold back a giggle at the frown on Richard’s face as he yanked his t-shirt over the top of his head. “Something about getting a little girl that can barely walk seems a bit dangerous to me. Oh wait, we are talking about your father, why am I not surprised?”

You raised an eyebrow.

“So I guess you won’t buy me a pony now that I agreed to come home?”

Richard smirked.

“God damn my big mouth! If you want one….”

You reached down to undo his belt while Richard’s eyes fluttered to yours.

“Rich, where would we put a pony?”

Richard shrugged.

“I was hoping you would be the one to answer that because between that grumpy old lady next door and the cat lady on the other side I don’t think they would appreciate a pony running around. We really need new neighbors.”

You undid your dress letting it pool around your ankles. Richard watched you with a hungry sense of fascination.

“We did spend over four grand to have that fence put up. I am surprised you even know about our neighbors.”

You said with a teasing smile. Richard sighed.

“Well, that cat lady has this Persian that Charlee likes to try to pet. The lady looks at her like she has kicked the cat or something whenever Charlee goes near her. She’s a baby. She sees a fuzzy cat and wants to pet that cat. Stupid old hag better keep her mouth off of our kid.”

You shook your head and was honestly surprised that you hadn’t gotten a call from the neighbor about Richard or Charlee.

“Rich?”

“Yeah?”

You smiled, relieved that he had decided to end his rant on the cat lady next door.

“Can you get your head in the game and worry about the cat lady who is impeding our daughter’s love of cats later?”

_____________

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[charmingturkeysandwich]

“Christmas Surprise”: A CS Secret Santa Gift

Hey there, @colinoeyebrows, it’s me, your secret Santa! I’m sorry we didn’t get more time to get to know each other before I wrote your story, but I think I managed to create something that fits what you’ll enjoy. I kept it short - but not too short! And I suppose it would be filed under enemies/friends to lovers, if it required a label. I truly hope you enjoy it and that you have a Merry Christmas! I think in your time zone it’s officially Christmas Eve, so I’m not too terribly early, but here in the states it’s still Christmas Eve Eve... and I’m terribly sick and requiring a few days of not moving a finger, so here you are! I hope you enjoy. I tried to pack it full of as much Christmas joy as possible :)

Killian and Emma are neighbors in an apartment building full of Emma’s makeshift family. He’s been insufferable most times, but also oddly kind, so Emma tolerates him. But his weird over-the-top dedication to their Christmas decorating this year is really starting to grate on her. Until she understands.

@cssecretsanta2k19

---

“Killian! Stop stealing my damn ladder!”

“Of course, princess,” the jerk snarked back at her. What had she ever done to deserve him as a next door neighbor? So full of himself, intensely competitive over things that did not require competition, and always, always making sure he had the last word. He’d probably raise up from his damn casket just to say one last thing when the eulogies were finished.

Not that Emma would be there. Ugh. She’d love to be rid of him.

Except that on some days he was literally the only thing she actually looked forward to. When work was stressful and she hadn’t caught a skip in weeks and she’d fallen and sprained an ankle and a wrist, he was there, mocking her crutches and laughing at her drug-addled ramblings, but still always, always helping her up the stairs, fetching her mail, tipping her pizza delivery man extra for delivering hers first despite being the farthest away from the parlor.

How could one person be so infuriating and yet so caring at the same time?

Halloween this year had been canceled as the town was practically falling down (thundersnow or ice-nado or something of the like), so this year, Storybrooke had decided to simply transfer the door-to-door candy begging from Halloween to Christmas. Because of this, landlords all over town were asking that tenants decorate and prepare to delight the children who had been robbed of their November sugar hangover by Mother Nature, instead giving them a lovely sugar hangover for Christmas morning.

(Sounded like a conspiracy by parents to get kids to sleep in, but whatever.)

Emma made fudge every year and always had tons left over, so this year she’d decided she’d throw herself into this Halloween-Christmas mashup with everything she had. Her other neighbors were always very festive, specifically the ice skater Elsa who every year had more Christmas lights in her one-bedroom apartment than all of the foster homes Emma ever lived in. Combined. Ruby loved to dress her dog up as a reindeer, and even David and Mary Margaret went all out, despite being the owners of the building and not just lowly tenants.

Killian usually kept his decorations minimal. Mistletoe over his doorway just to taunt his neighbors (female and male alike, to Graham’s amusement and horror), and maybe one string of lights or tinsel around the doorway.

But no. This year he’s decided there’s a door-decorating contest that he’s absolutely going to win.

Emma, on the other hand, is absolutely going to kill him.

He stole her ladder. He stole her tacks. He stole her snowflakes with sticky backs.

This man was driving her so insane that she was starting to rhyme like a cartoon train.

Ugh.

Elsa (infuriatingly) found it endearing. And Ruby, ever the flirt, was mostly trying to distract their neighbors into standing under Killian’s mistletoe with her. No one seemed to be as furious as Emma that the bartender across the hall who usually didn’t give a crap about Christmas was suddenly “dedicated to his craft” so much that he just had to take her scalloped scissors at exactly the time that she needed them.

She was going to scallop his other hand off if he didn’t watch it.

Thoroughly frustrated with decoration, she took a nice, long break late that morning to go check on her fudge and start bagging it for the kids that would be coming around No-Trick-Just-Treating tonight.

Living in this apartment had been surprisingly life-altering for Emma. The lifelong lost girl had finally found some people she called family, even though none of them were related. The family you choose is the real one, Ruby had told her one drunken evening when Emma finally spilled her secrets, her sadness at being abandoned as a child, her fear that it would all be taken from her again. So it was only recently that she’d even decided Christmas was worth celebrating. Christmas Eves of her childhood had mostly been like every other day – if they weren’t even more miserable because of all the joy she was missing out on by being unwanted. It had taken her years of reflection, therapy, and bad decision making for her to realize that she wasn’t the problem. That hope was always there. That she had things worth celebrating now, even though she suffered in the past.

And god forbid if any single child who walked through her hallway tonight was in need of a glimmer of hope, she’d be the one to provide it. Even if only through a bag of fudge and a warm smile.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Emma’s door sounded like it might break off the hinges, so she went running, assuming that something deeply horrifying was happening outside it.

But no, it was just Killian. On her ladder. Affixing mistletoe to her doorway.

“You know this thing is supposed to be about kids right? Not you trying to suck face with all thirty of your neighbors.”

“Well you’re the last one I’ve managed to not kiss. Ball’s in your court, love.”

“Can you go bother someone else? Emma’s a common name. Find a different one.”

“But my darling, all I want for Christmas is you,” he began singing, putting on quite the distracting performance in their shared hallway.

She couldn’t help but smile. She’d never met someone so… carefree? It was like the only thing Killian was capable of doing was making people smile (even when it was accompanied by another person’s heavy eye roll). But she was envious of him, because she’d give anything to not be burdened by the ghosts of Christmas past.

“Can you please go bother someone else, Jones?”

“Oh, fine. But I’ll be back for fudge.”

He turned on his heel and started back toward Ruby’s and Graham’s side of the building, ignoring Emma as she shouted back to him, “the candy is for the children, not for grown adult asses!”

Later that night, Christmas Eve in full-swing, Emma received another knock on her door. She grabbed her tub of fudge and skipped to the doorway, only to be met with those infuriatingly beautiful blue eyes that could only belong to one Killian Jones… alongside a small human who looked strikingly like him.

“Holiday Treats!” the two of them yelled together, nearly giggling, and Emma would have laughed too if she weren’t so damn confused.

“Jones, are you plucking children off the street to guilt me into giving you peanut butter fudge?”

“Killian said your fudge is the best ever in the whole world! And my brother doesn’t lie.”

“I’m sorry… brother?” Emma gaped, suddenly feeling as if there’s quite a lot she didn’t know about Killian Jones.

“Liam, please don’t scare the nice fudge lady or she won’t give us any,” Killian teasingly chastised to his shorter counterpart before turning back to Emma to explain. “So, long story short, my father is a garbage human being and after leaving me and my older brother in an orphanage, he started a new family and abandoned them, too. Just found out about little Liam here about a week ago, but I’m now an approved foster parent, and, well, he’s soon to be your neighbor, too!”

“Aye, aye!” Liam yelled, absolutely delighted by at least some part of that odd tale.

“Oh my god, that’s why you wanted to decorate so badly.”

“Yep, just trying to make things festive for junior here. Now…. Fudge, please?” he asked, pouting his lip and extending his open hand. Liam, of course, followed suit, and Emma nearly burst into a fit of laughter at the sight.

“Of course, Joneses,” she chuckled, handing them twice as much fudge as she’d given out to any of the other children.

“Now why don’t you stop on by later on so I can get to know my new neighbor a little bit better?”

“Of course, love!” Killian replied, about to bolt for the next candy-giving door when Emma stopped him abruptly, her hand gripping his elbow tightly, keeping him in place.

Before he had time to question her, she leaned in and gave him a sweet peck on the corner of the mouth, muttering “mistletoe” into his ear before she leaned back against the doorframe.

A little dazed, Killian did nothing but smile somewhat confusedly, until Liam tugged on his leather jacket. “Kiss your girlfriend later – it’s candy time!”

When the Joneses came back later that night, Emma made them her signature hot chocolate and they watched a marathon of Love, Actually, Elf, and Rudolph, each of them passing out on their respective couches long before Emma had a chance to turn off her Christmas lights. When they awoke the next morning, she made them breakfast and they invited her over to open presents with them (not that Killian could afford many, but he was trying, he’d whispered to her as Liam begged her to join).

They never spent a Christmas apart again.

[lalka-laski]

Who was the last person you talked to, whose name started with ‘S?’ A patient named Susan When was the last time you met someone who seemed very unpleasant? This new patient at work just seems so miserable, and a quick scan of her chart proves my suspicions right. The nurses have a hard time dealing with her attitude too. Name everyone you’ve had an online conversation with today. Leslie, Sarah, Glenn. Everyone else has been via text so I won't count them How many people have you kissed, whose name started with ‘J?’ I haven't counted but I know it's at least a few When was the last time you turned down an invitation to go somewhere? Why? Mmm a couple days ago?

Who was the last person to cry in front of you? Do you know why they were crying? I think Sam drunk-cried this weekend but I don't remember it because I was too far gone How many Facebook friends do you have? 1,000 something Is there anyone on your “friends” list that you dislike? Sorta Is there anyone you dislike, that you have to see/speak to regularly? Some patients. Anyone with an attitude like the lady I described above. I just can't stand that energy. We are here to HELP you, so treat us kindly Does anyone have a romantic interest in you, that you don’t return? Yeah When was the last time you ate a cookie? Yesterday Has either of your parents ever borrowed your computer? No. I wouldn't allow it anyways Have your parents met the person you’re currently interested in? Yeah, he's their son-in-lae When you’re interested in someone, do you let them know? That's usually not my M.O Is there anything happening tomorrow that you’re looking forward to? Yes! Glenn & I are celebrating our anniversary with drinks, dinner, and probably more drinks!

Have you ever kissed anyone named Daniel or Danielle? Yes How many alcoholic drinks have you had in the last week? None so far Have you ever received a compliment on anything you’re wearing? My shoes. And my ring Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? Yep, and more to come! What was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time? Did you like it? Absolutely no clue Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? Nope How many people have you hugged today? None so far. But when I babysit this afternoon I'm gonna give my babies some BIG squeezes :D Do you have a favorite hair color or eye color on your preferred sex? Brown for both, but it's not a hard rule Is there anyone on your mind at the moment? I guess When was the last time you had Pop Tarts? What flavor were they? I can't recall. Probably Strawberry Is your birth year an odd or even number? Even Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? No, I don't think When was the last time you had Nutella? Ages ago... I've never liked it Who is your favorite character in “The Simpsons?” Lisa I guess Are your eyes the same color as your siblings’ eyes? Nope, they're both brown eyed girls Have you received any compliments about your appearance today? Nope Do you have any ice cream in your freezer? What flavor is it? No, which is a rarity! Have you spoken to any of your neighbors today? Nope What food(s) have you eaten a lot of recently? I've been eating a lot of pretzels lately Have you recently bought a gift for anyone? I bought Glenn a card but we agreed no gifts Have you gone out with someone, then ruined the friendship you had before? Uhh, I guess you could say that Do you think you will be married by the time you’re 25? We're past that point Who did you last ride in the car with under the age of 18? My nephew Zach Did you sleep alone last night? Nope Would you rather have your nose or tongue pierced? Neither Have you hugged anyone in the last 72 hours? Mhm You can only drink one liquid for the rest of your life. What is it? Can I choose beer? How bad does that sound.... Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? Today we are celebrating 3 YEARS :) Do you have a younger sister? Yep Did you eat a cookie today? No but I might later Have you ever fallen asleep in someone’s arms? Yep In your opinion, which is more attractive: nice biceps or washboard abs? Good arms are *chef's kiss* Do you have any currency that’s not your native country’s? I have tons of Canadian coins in various wallets and purses Are you talking to anyone right now? Yeah Do you use the microwave a lot when it comes to cooking food? Uh huh Are you any good at poker? I've never played, but I imagine I'd be pretty bad What do you want? Monaayyyyyy Whose house did you go to last night? Nobody's Why are you on the computer right now? Because my job requires it Last text from? Jess Any plans for tomorrow? Work in the morning, then anniversary date in the afternoon and evening :) Are you currently trying to get over someone? Nope Would you say that people consider you a major flirt? People consider me one just because I'm ultra friendly. But my intention is not flirting What is the weather like right now? Chilly, but nice. Crisp is the word What does your last sent text say? No thanks So, have you had any bread today? If so, was it good bread? If you haven’t had bread, are you gonna eat some? I haven't, but yesterday I had some BOMB garlic rolls with dinner. I'm gonna try to skip bread today though bc I went so carb-crazy yesterday Who sits in front of you in Math class? - Do you know anyone who plays the harmonica? Uhhh maybe Have you ever been hypnotized? Nope Have you ever been on a gondola lift? Nope

[inthedreamatorium1]

I admire your positivity I wish I could be excited for you but I can’t get over the death of a female character used as incubator while Robert gets his happy ending at Rebecca and Aaron’s expense, as usual he gets away Scott free like I know he nearly dies but he doesn’t so, :( I’m a robron fan though I swear hahah

(1) How can you be excited about the fatherhood part when it makes Aaron miserable            

(2) Wonderful story coming up? You mean after they kill off a female character who was used as an incubator but who cares bc robron are happy, or atleast Robert gets everything he fucking wants at Rebecca and Aaron’s expense    

one of my favorite soap couples, luke and reid on as the world turns, had just admitted their love to each other. they were finally FINALLY going to be together. but first dr reid had to rush off to a neighboring hospital to get a heart for a legacy character. reid said “i love you” to luke (also a legacy character), they kissed, it was romantic and everything i wanted. and then...reid’s car gets stalled on train tracks, he can’t unbuckle his seatbelt (a neurosurgeon, mind you), his car gets hit by a train, he’s dying and decides to give his heart to the sick legacy character, says goodbye to luke, and... dies. the show ends a week later, leaving one legacy character alive and well and starting a life with his new lady, and the other legacy character is left miserable, alone and in tears.

that was the absolute worst soap story i have ever watched. they killed off a popular character in the stupidest way possible. they ended a 50+ year show with all their characters having happy endings except for luke. it was awful. horrible. it ruined all of the happy memories i had of watching atwt with my grandma. there was no coming back from that. it’s been seven years and i am STILL upset about it (clearly).

so when i look at what’s going on with robert and aaron, i can’t help but BE excited for their story, no matter how cringe worthy it can be because i know that both will be alive by the end of it and together. the show isn’t ending, rob or aaron aren’t dying. this isn’t a spontaneous and superficial reunion. they were pulled apart, flipped upside down, turned inside out, gutted, and are now making their way back to each other. so THIS is why i’m excited and so positive. despite all of the flaws with the story, at the heart of it is aaron and robert and the love they have for one another. this is their story.

but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some things i wish they’d done differently. i wish they wouldn’t have written rebecca as a plot device, a woman who was solely there to say or do something to move the plot along. i wish she could have been written as someone who befriended rob and aaron, who worked with them to bring lachlan and the rest of the whites down. i wish she could have been a female character who wasn’t a “threat”, someone who genuinely cared about aaron and robert. and if they wanted to give them a child, i wish she was their surrogate.

we have some pretty detailed spoilers and some very vague spoilers. but ultimately, we don’t know how this story will go. if rebecca dies or not. if sebastian is rob’s or not. if aaron will accept sebastian or not. there is still so much story left to tell, any outcome really is still possible. i mean, for all we know, rebecca flees town and robert gives up his parental rights to lydia.

we have no no NO idea.

if rebecca dies and robert and aaron ultimately raise sebastian then so be it. do i think it’s a shitty way to give robert and aaron a child? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY. but i know what i’m watching.

aaron is heartbroken over the birth of robert’s son. the son he had dreamed of sharing with robert one day. the future he (quietly) dreamed for himself, a future that involved him being a FATHER has seemingly been shattered. he’s hurt. rightfully so. but he’s still in love with robert. he is going to be back in robert’s orbit. the baby he wished ill will on will be a prominent presence in robert’s life here on out. anytime aaron sees robert, he’ll see sebastian or be reminded of sebastian. but that’s not going to stop him from being around rob, from offering him guidance, being a sounding board, STANDING UP FOR HIM TO REBECCA. i think it’s entirely plausible for aaron to slowly develop genuine love for sebastian. why not? he loves robert and sebastian is a part of robert. it’s not aaron’s fault sebastian is the result of some really shitty mistakes and was born into a fairly toxic environment. why couldn’t he develop a protective nature towards sebastian as the whites are self-destructing? it’s not going to be an easy journey for him but it’s one that he’s unknowingly on now that he has reentered robert’s life.

and because we don’t know how this story will end, i don’t think we can say robert will get everything. are we watching the same show? rob is losing everything. he is spiraling fast and everything is going to come out and utterly destroy everything that he is or thinks he is. if you see robert’s happy ending being that he gets seb at the end, then the past nine months have been for nothing. them breaking up robert and aaron and dealing with their deeper issues has been for nothing. rob and aaron are getting remarried in the summer which is 6-8 months from now. once the whites leave, things aren’t magically going to be happy and lovely for robert. he has a long journey of self healing ahead of him and aaron is going to help him. 

what that will look like? no one knows.

[therabbitholeonline]

Faith, Trust & a Clapperboard, or Director Who.

Kathryn Zeigler is an actress, director, casting agent, writer, producer, and mom! This gal does it all with grace and humility. I met her when I volunteered at a Doctor Who event south of Indianapolis. I sat next to the booth where she was sharing news of their Doctor Who play in Louisville. I listened to them as the actors went in and out of character, joked, laughed, and generally had a great time. I thought, “I want to be a part of that!” And while I haven’t been able to move to Louisville, I’ve stayed in touch and do whatever I can to support them.

When I approached Kathryn about conducting an interview, she was more than gracious! And so, here is my friend and I talking about her jobs, her life and her loves. Ladies & gents, Kathryn Zeigler!

 The Rabbit Hole: You did the Disney Intern Program, right? What was that like?

Yes, I did. I was in the WDW College Program in 1999. Absolutely one of the best experiences of my college days, and of my professional career. I worked at Disney’s Animal Kingdom on the Kilimanjaro Safari’s attraction in the village of Harambe. Some of my deepest friendships (who I truly consider family) and professional connections stemmed from that experience. I learned a lot about myself and the world around me. I was also exposed to the best entertainment business practices on the planet.

TRH: What made you want to act? 

I always knew I wanted to perform and to make people happy. At a very young age, I “produced” shows in my basement and even made up tickets and charged for my family and neighbors to see the show. 25 cents. My two most requested shows (thank heavens for a family that humored me) were my magic show and my roller disco show to the Disco Mickey Mouse album. I’m not even really sure what in the world I did during the roller disco; except I do remember that one time I tried to jump over the couch and failed miserably. Ironically, it was to the tune “Watch Out For Goofy” right at the point in the song where Goofy falls and destroys everything in his path.  

TRH: What did you want to grow up to be as a kid? 

 I wanted to be an actor, an astronaut, and a writer. I was pretty serious about the astronaut and writing path. A friend of mine and I created a magazine called Shuttle Run, and interviewed pilots and scientists. I think we published two full magazines before summer and then we gave it up.

I don’t think it occurred to me how much of an entrepreneur I was until much later in life, but as someone who works full-time in the entertainment industry, I’ve discovered that you have to have that kind of spirit to make a living.

TRH: There are so many mediums, why choose theater? 

Theatre was the most accessible to me growing up. I did a lot of plays at church and my parents took me to see lots of shows around town. The one performance that changed my life was My Fair Lady at the Iroquois Amphitheater back in the 80’s. (I want to say maybe ’86?)

My grandmother worked very hard all year as a seamstress and saved up money to take me to that show. We sat in the sixth row, center seats. She even had enough for us to get some popcorn and candy, which was a big deal since she usually packed snacks for everything we went to.

From the first note the orchestra hit, I was hooked. And then, when Eliza walked into the room in her ball gown, I knew I had to do whatever it was that she was doing. I left that night feeling like I was flying and I’ve not looked back since.

It took years before film would come into my life, and although it’s exciting and I love it dearly, theatre will always be my home.

TRH:Could you tell us about about Acting For Your Life and your casting company AFYL Casting?

 Acting For Your Life actually has a neat story behind it. When I was living and working in NY and CT in 2005, I taught a series of acting classes. In one of my adult acting workshops in Manhattan, a student came in crying and saying that she was sorry but she’d just learned she had cancer and had no access to healthcare.

I couldn’t possibly teach technique at that moment. For about fifteen minutes, the entire class and I helped her with resources that might be able to help. She was able to rally and asked to remain in class so she could focus on what made her happy. The following week, another student came in with a major financial issue. As a unified group, we helped as much as we could.

After class that day, I did a lot of soul searching to figure out how to help students who obviously needed support with life skills while also trying to make a living as artists. Once they were able to deal with life (even just a tiny aspect of it) I found that the work was more quality. It was deep and truthful. So, it hit me. What if, in the same supportive atmosphere of an acting class, we could focus the first fifteen minutes on some kind of life skill before delving into the work? That way, we could address life issues that were facing the class, and then we could get into the work of acting?

The third week, I invited a financial advisor to speak to the class and take questions before warm-ups. The actors were timid speaking about financial issues, but after the presentation each of them took a business card. Our guest left, we made room for work, and it was one of the most successful acting classes I’ve ever taught. They were free, if only for those minutes, because they had faced something life related that they didn’t want to face. I learned that all but one of those students met with the financial advisor post-class and set up plans to help them deal with their personal finances.

Acting For Your Life (www.afylonline.com) was born and continues today as an educational platform for artists all over the world.

When Todd (my husband) joined Acting For Your Life in 2014, we were looking for a way to connect the artists we worked with to sustainable opportunities. In 2016, we opened AFYL Talent agency and represented actors. Although we loved that work, we saw a huge need for qualified casting directors in our area since the Kentucky film market is growing leaps and bounds. AFYL Talent closed in December of 2016, and immediately in January we opened AFYL Casting (www.afylcasting.com). We no longer represent talent, but instead we act as casting directors for film, television, commercials, industrials, voice over, and new media projects. We’re able to connect artists to paid opportunities by helping production companies connect to and cast them. I absolutely love it.

TRH: When it comes to helping new actors in their journey, what’s your favorite piece of advice to give?

 My favorite piece of advice is probably the advice I give most frequently. Acting isn’t about being famous. If you’re getting into this business for fame, you’re in it for the wrong reasons. Fame may come as a result of hard work, but it certainly won’t last if you don’t educate your talent and inform your life��s direction.

TRH: What is the biggest challenge when directing? What is your favorite part? 

That’s a hard one to nail down. Each show comes with its own unique set of challenges.

I would say the most common challenge is helping the actors to get out of their own way. So many artists come to a production (both stage and film) with preconceived notions about how each role should be played. And, although having an idea of which direction to go is paramount, allowing yourself to be flexible to the process of rehearsal is probably the most important.

I had an actor once who told me that he didn’t want to hear me use the word “organic” because he needed direction. He’d worked with another director who constantly used that word, and he felt it was lazy on the director’s part to use such a term. He wanted me to walk him through each step of the process and tell him exactly what I was looking for.

Although my goal is to be clear with the artistic vision of where the show is going, I don’t believe any actor should be blindly led through any production. When I use the term organic, it’s meant to be a growth experience; something that happens naturally over the course of a project. There has to be some work, some truth that comes directly from each actor’s experience while working with the other creative components of a show. If not, you end up with very measured moments and the audience knows the cast is “acting”. I never want an audience to think, “that’s an actor acting”. I always want them to be drawn in to the lives that are being lived before them. That’s what real acting is.

My favorite part is the community that is created with each cast. We really do become our own little unit, our own little family. And in that safe space, we can challenge one another to raise the stakes and raise the bar on the work we do together. And then you see someone have an ah-ha moment. The lightbulb goes off, and a character emerges. The actor melts away, and there is this new person, living and breathing the story that the writer has given them. There’s a special kind of magic in that.

TRH: What inspires you? 

People who give of themselves to their craft both professionally and passionately, whatever their craft might be.

TRH: You and your husband created a really wonderful play about Doctor Who; could you tell us a bit about it? 

 All The Whos In Whoville is a magical mingling of the worlds of Doctor Who and Doctor Seuss that Todd penned in 2013 in anticipation of the 50th Anniversary Special. Without giving too much away, the play is set in the town of Whoville many years after “the mean green one” has become an integral part of the community. Cindy Lou Who is now grown with a daughter of her own, however things with her own family aren’t all happy endings.

As events unfold, we learn that the Greench (yes, that’s how we refer to him in the script) has a past that once revealed, leads him to follow his instincts of causing chaos wherever he goes, including kidnapping Cindy Lou’s daughter Mary Sue.  

One of Santa’s helpers wielding a sonic screwdriver and flying a familiar time machine comes to the rescue, but along the way accidentally erases his own memory. Is he The Doctor or Santa? What happens when he decides to call on the only hero that can save the day?

You’ll have to see the show to find out.

TRH: When conducting auditions, how do you know when you’ve got the right actor? 

 I generally know within the first two minutes if the person standing in front of us is right for the part. There is a confidence and a “YES” feeling that happens in my gut. There is a rapport that happens almost instantly, even before they start the actual “audition” of the work.

It’s also very apparent who will be a pleasure to work with, and who might not be. I’ll hire someone with passion and potential over the person who gives the best reading any day. An actor might be oozing with talent, but the “it” factor is usually discovered in the moments when an actor is willing to push themselves, grow, and be pleasant on set.

 TRH: What are your favorite fandoms? 

Doctor Who is by far my favorite. However, I love all kinds of sci-fi worlds and tons of pop culture phenoms. Anything Disney is a close second, if not tied for first. I also love Marvel and DC, as well as anything and everything Godzilla.

TRH: What does the role of Director mean to you? 

A director leads the actors to their truth and the production to its artistic vision. It’s an honor to be trusted with the tradition of performance. But without a balance of give and take, any production will fall flat. It’s never a director’s show on its own.

It doesn’t mean that a director has to be a nice doormat, far from it. If you talk to any actor who I’ve worked with, they will tell you I have a very professional and direct way of getting the work I need for the show. However, it takes skills and understanding how artists think and process. It’s a lot like translation of a foreign language. How do I get what’s in my head in front of them so they can see that same vision? That’s always how I approach it.

I hear so many horror stories of people who believe that it’s okay for a director to belittle and berate their cast. I’ve had so many actors, especially in theater, tell me that they can’t produce good work unless they are pushed in that way. I’ve actually had someone quit because I wouldn’t yell at them. I don’t believe in that brand of leadership.

TRH: Is it a struggle balancing home & work? You are a busy mom of 3 lovely gals, with a little fella coming soon, right? Congrats!!

I’d be lying if I said no. In terms of time, finances, rest, and general consistency it can be a struggle. We work from home most days, and with a toddler, that can be it’s own kind of circus. However, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Our kids know that we love what we do, and it shows. My goal is, and will always be, to show them that they can do what they love and make a living. Especially for our three girls, showing them that a woman can be a leader along side an equally strong man is so important to us. And when our baby boy is born, showing him that balance in a home full of strong women will hopefully lead him toward his own bright path.

TRH: If you had unlimited resources, what story would you love to bring to the stage? 

 I’m in the VERY early stages of writing a show about Ethel Merman.

TRH: Do you have any upcoming projects you can share with us? 

All The Whos In Whoville will be making our 4th Seasonal appearance at the Iroquois Ampthitheater in November and December this year.

TRH: How can people follow you to learn more? 

Easiest way is through social media.

Facebook:     Facebook.com/actingforyourlife 

                       Facebook.com/limericklimited (for Whoville)

                       Facebook.com/afylcasting

Twitter:           @acting4yourlife

                       @limericklimited

                       @afylcasting

A heartfelt Thank You to Kathryn for taking the time. Keep doing you! I look forward to seeing what you & Todd come up with for this year’s “All The Whos in Whoville” this year! 

Geek Out!

[meggonagall]

Saving Severus Snape - Chapter 14

23 October 1976 If there was one thing that the past had in common with Hermione’s own time, it was how quickly news spread throughout Hogwarts. She wasn't sure how everyone in the school seemed to know that she was attending Slughorn’s Halloween party with Severus, but it was clear they did. Whispers followed her down the corridors and throughout the Great Hall, and all of that extra attention was the last thing she wanted. Saturday afternoon Hermione sat across from Amelia during lunch, when she noticed three Slytherin girls with their heads together giggling and looking in her direction. Hermione's face burned as she lowered her head and tried to concentrate on the food in front of her. “I'm sorry people are being so rude,” Amelia said quietly with a glare towards the Slytherin girls. Hermione shrugged and took a bite of her sandwich. It wasn't the first time she had been the subject of cruel whispers and misinformed rumors. “I mean, I sort of understand why people are talking,” Amelia continued. “Snape isn’t typically the type to have a date.” “It's not a date,” Hermione grumbled quietly.

Amelia ignored Hermione’s protest and went on. “And face it, Hermione. You're new, pretty and extremely intelligent. You could probably have taken any bloke in the school you wanted.” Hermione huffed and rolled her eyes. “Amelia. I've told you at least a hundred times. We’re just going as friends.” The corner of Amelia’s mouth lifted in a patronizing way. It took all of Hermione’s strength not to storm off on her friend. “Alright. It's not a date. But you have to admit, those who are just hearing it through the rumor mill would take it that way.” “I suppose so...but I don't care what people think. Severus and I know where we stand,” Hermione said firmly. Amelia looked like she was about to say something, but then thought better of it and instead focused on her food. Hermione glanced over towards Severus and gave him a tight smile when she saw he was watching her as well. Her attention was taken away from Severus when Remus sat down besides Hermione, which caused Amelia to immediately sit straight up with a huge smile. “Alright there, Remus?” she asked brightly. Hermione noticed a touch of red tint Remus’ cheeks as he nodded and quietly said hello. “Hey, Remus. What brings you to our table?” Hermione asked. It wasn’t completely unusual for Remus to sit with them towards the end of lunch, or sometimes breakfast, but he also didn’t do so frequently. This was the first time in about two weeks since he last did. He looked uncomfortable, Hermione noticed, as he cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. She wondered if there was something wrong. “Erm...please don’t get angry for me asking, but I heard something from James and Sirius, and I was just wondering if it was true,” he said while keeping his eyes on the table. Hermione glanced towards Amelia, who was covering her mouth with her hand, clearly trying to keep from laughing. It was obvious that both Hermione and Amelia knew what Remus was inquiring about. It was an enormous feat for Hermione to keep from growling. After a loud breath, Hermione twisted herself so that she was facing Remus. “If they’re talking about me attending Slughorn’s Halloween party with Severus, then yes, Remus. It is true that we are going together as friends.” She made sure to emphasize again that this was strictly platonic. She wondered what was the matter with the teens of this era that they had such a difficult time accepting that two people could go to a party together with no romantic intentions. Yes it was true that she and Severus spent quite a bit of time together, but so did Remus, James, Sirius and Peter. And that didn’t mean that they were all dating. Remus nodded then finally brought himself to make eye contact with Hermione. Instead of the contrite, apologetic look she was expecting, he looked more concerned for her. He reminded her so strongly of Professor Lupin, rather than her friend Remus at that moment. “Hermione...I -- I don’t know if you know, but he and Lily --” If she had to hear about that one more time, she was certain she would hex someone. “I’m going to stop you right there, Remus,” she began with more steel in her voice that she normally would have used, but her patience was worn thin in regards to the subject of she and Severus, and people telling her what had happened between him and Lily Evans. So far Amelia, Edgar and Otto felt they needed to warn her. She knew they had her best intentions at heart, but it angered and insulted her that they didn’t think her capable of taking care of herself, or having good judgement when it came to the company she chose to keep. “What happened between the two of them is really no one’s business besides theirs. I haven’t even brought it up to him, because quite frankly, even though it was rotten, people do make mistakes. He and I get along, and I’m not going to ruin a friendship because of something that happened before I even attended this school.” The rueful look she had anticipated a moment ago made an appearance on Remus’ face. A large part of her felt satisfied seeing it, if she was being honest with herself. “Of course, Hermione. You're right. It really isn't my place to say anything. I'm sorry,” he told her. “Thank you, Remus,” she answered shortly. After that Remus and Amelia fell into a conversation regarding the upcoming Hogsmeade weekend, which just so happened to fall on the same day as the Halloween party. Hermione’s mind drifted away from the pair of them talking, travelling to the small island that she and Severus had visited a few days prior, and how her heart seemed to skip a beat when he held her hand in his. The more she thought about it, the more she understood why most of the student body had thought she and Severus had become an item. The two of them spent nearly every evening alone together in the library, walked together to most of their classes, and had become Slughorn’s prize students in their potions class. Certainly she wasn't the only one who had noticed Severus smiling and actually laughing when the two of them were together, and she was also certain everyone knew how unusual that behavior was for him. Without intending to, her eyes travelled towards the Slytherin table and she found a familiar black pair looking back at her. What was that about? Severus mouthed as he glanced at Remus. Hermione gave a minute shake of her head. Nothing, she mouthed back. He jerked his head towards the exit and stood up from his seat. Hermione nodded. “So I'm going to…” Hermione trailed off as she stood up. Amelia turned around and let out a short laugh when she saw Severus headed towards the door. “Right,” she said with an eye roll. “Have a nice time with your friend,” she joked, which caused Remus to choke on his pumpkin juice. Hermione glared at the two of them. “I'll see you in the common room,” she said to Amelia, pretending she didn't hear her comment. “Bye, Remus.” “See you ‘round, Hermione,” said Remus after he caught his breath. “Severus,” she said when she reached the door. His eyes seemed to lighten when she said his name, she immediately felt a flutter at the sight. “Hermione,” he responded with a half-smile. She really enjoyed the agreeable and pleasant side of Severus she had been seeing recently. He was like a new person, not at all the man she had come to know in her lifetime. She was definitely thinking of them as two different people, and that could potentially become quite dangerous for her. “What would you like to do today?” he asked as they left the Great Hall and began a slow walk through the corridor. “Well,” she began and looked out the window with a frown. “I was hoping we could have gone to your island again, but the rain sort of put a damper on that idea.” She giggled at her own sad excuse of a joke and then full out laughed when Severus snorted and rolled his eyes at her. “That was pathetic,” he told her in a dry voice, yet the smile on his face told her he found it funny. She flashed him a wide smile then playfully elbowed him. “That was brilliant and you know it.” “Yes, absolutely stellar. Hermione Devereux, ladies and gentlemen. She'll be here all week.” Hermione loved when Severus genuinely laughed, as they did together then. It was wonderful to see him appear so human and normal. Not to mention, she found the deep baritone of his laugh to be rather adorable. Once they both had controlled themselves, Severus stopped and looked down at her. “Library?” he asked. They did have a two foot Potions essay that was due the following week. It probably wouldn't have been a bad idea to get a head start on it since the weather was so miserable. “I'll go get my bag and meet you there?” “Sure. I’ll see you shortly then.” Just before they parted ways, a lock of hair fell into Hermione’s eyes, which Severus immediately reached for and carefully tucked behind her ear. She took in a sharp breath when he let his hand linger there for a moment. He froze, almost like he was just as shocked as she was at what he did. She was positive that her face was as red as his when she cleared her throat and awkwardly thanked him. He took a step back while rubbing the back of his neck. “Erm...right. So we’ll meet up in -- in a little bit,” he stammered. “Right,” Hermione whispered. While making her way towards Ravenclaw tower, Hermione could still feel the ghost of Severus’ hand on her cheek. Her mind began to wander forming pictures of him leaning in towards her, and her standing on her toes to close the distance between them as he placed his lips onto hers. “No,” she said aloud, causing a boy in a nearby portrait, who was attempting to steal sweets from a kitchen table, to yelp and run out of his frame into a neighboring portrait. “Sorry,” she mumbled to him as he tried to hide behind a sheep in the field he was now standing in. When she arrived into her common room, Edgar and Otto were hunched over a model Quidditch set going over moves for their upcoming match against Slytherin. “Hey, Hermione!” Otto called over to her while Edgar gave an enthusiastic wave. Hermione smiled and said hello to the boys, then stopped to have a brief chat. Otto tried to explain to her what they were going over, but when the boys spoke of Quidditch, they might as well have been speaking Chinese to her. She still didn't understand Wrongski Fainting, or whatever blasted thing it was. So mostly she just nodded politely and threw in a, “Sounds wonderful,” or “That should work,” when it seemed appropriate. When she told them that she was sorry but had to go, Edgar frowned. “You're meeting him again, aren't you?” he asked sounding disappointed. Hermione felt a small stab of guilt at his tone. She really hadn’t made as much time for her housemates lately as she did in the beginning of term. Even though she did have a purpose there, she supposed it wouldn't hurt to make more of an effort with her friends. She nodded. “Coursework,” Hermione said as if that explained everything. “You're always doing coursework,” Otto whined. “We miss you.” It was a mistake to let them become so attached, she knew that deep down. But she tucked those thoughts away and promised them that she would devote the entire following evening to them and Amelia. Edgar and Otto immediately brightened up and began planning what they could all do in lieu of school work. Hermione had to remind them a few different times that they needed to keep their ideas within the rules of the school. There was no way she was going to sneak out, steal brooms and fly down to Hogsmeade for the night. No matter how many times they begged. Much later than she anticipated, she finally arrived to the library to find Severus seated in the back checking his watch. When she pulled her chair out to sit across from him, he frowned. “What took so long?” he asked. A part of her knew that he was worried she wouldn't show after what happened before they parted. As she took her books, a quill and a bottle of ink from her bag, she sighed. “Otto and Edgar cornered me in the common room.” The small flash of something that looked like disapproval in his eyes did not go unnoticed by her. She knew that Severus was not exactly fond of her friends, since he usually mumbled something about ‘big shot Quidditch prats’ when she mentioned them. Hermione tried to hide her smirk when he scowled and responded, “Lovely,” though his tone suggested he thought it was anything but. “Severus,” she scolded gently. “They're really pretty alright when you get to know them.” “I'm sure they are,” he said in the dry way that was uniquely Severus’. Hermione laughed as she opened her book. “Fine. Let's just get started, shall we?” *** 24th October 1976 The Ravenclaw Common Room was alive with ruckus laughter as Hermione and her friends played a Muggle game called Truth or Dare. Otto had just stripped down to his pants and gave an off key rendition of the Hogwarts school song from the top of a table near the wall. After that most of the first and second years cleared off, clearly intimidated by the older students. After everyone caught their breath and settled down, Otto looked carefully between the group, who were all trying to avoid his gaze in the hopes that they wouldn't be next. “Hermione,” he finally said with a Cheshire grin. She covered her face with her hands. It was the first she'd been called on, and since most of the dares consisted in losing some or all articles of clothing, she whispered, “Erm...Truth,” through her fingers. There were some moans of disappointment and someone called her a chicken, but everyone fell silent after Amelia yelled for them to shut it. Otto stroked his chin, looking like he was in deep thought over what to ask her. Hermione’s palms were sweating as she waited. From the corner of her eye she noticed a wide smile cross Rita’s face before she leaned in and whispered something into Otto’s ear. His eyes lit up as he chuckled. “Perfect!” he exclaimed. Rita aimed an arrogant look Hermione’s way as she tucked herself back into Lockhart’s arms. “Alright, Hermione,” Otto began. “Is it true that you're having some sort of secret relationship with Severus Snape?” She should have seen this question coming. Perhaps it would had been better for her to have ended up in her bra and knickers singing something ridiculous after all. Every eye was on her. You could hear a pin drop in the common room at that moment. “Look how red her face is!” Rita yelled with a snide laugh. “There's your answer right there!” “No -- I. There's nothing --” she stammered. “Oh come off it, Hermione,” Alice said. “You're together all the time. And you never smile as much as you do when you're with him.” Hermione threw a panicked glance Amelia’s way, but she just shrugged. “It's sort of true, Hermione,” Amelia said softly. Traitor! Hermione shouted in her mind. “There's nothing wrong with it. Even if he is a little gross,” Dorcas told her with a giggle. Hermione’s limit was reached. She stood up quickly and glared at all of them. “For the last time, he is just my friend!” she shouted. Everyone’s eyes widened at her outburst. “And that's cruel, Dorcas. There's nothing gross about him at all. In fact, he's highly intelligent and quite funny once you get to know him. He's a good friend! Better than you're all proving to be at the moment!” With her chest heaving in anger, she turned from the group and stormed through common room without sparing a glance in their direction. Even with a few of them calling her name and shouting hasty apologies as she went. “Well that's an obvious yes,” she heard that wretched Rita say, before the door closed behind her. As she stormed her way through the corridors, her feet seemed to automatically take her to the one place that always brought her comfort -- the library. She skirted around the tables and through the aisles of books seeking out the back table she and Severus always shared. Her mind was a jumbled mess of anger and confusion. Why did she become so angry? Oh who was she fooling? She really couldn't deny it any longer. The moment that Dorcas called him gross she realized it. She had moved passed Ron and her affections had fallen upon someone else. Someone who was more like her. Someone who valued learning and knowledge. Someone who debated with her and challenged her. Someone who pushed her to her limits. She indeed had fallen for Severus Snape. Now the question was, what would she do about it? She didn't know how long she would be in the past. And the more she thought about it, Severus had been giving off some hints that he possibly developed feelings for her as well. That stunt he pulled with her hair the day before, and the way he left his hand on her cheek more than proved that. Or when they were in the boat together, face to face, the tension in that moment was so thick you could have cut it. Would her pursuing a relationship with Severus end up being part of the reason she was sent back to that time period? Would that be how she would show him his worth? And if she did, she would only hurt him once she had to return to her own time. It was a lot to think about, and she knew she couldn't make any rash decisions. Besides, it was completely possible she had misread the signs she thought she saw from him. She needed some time to mull this over. Possibly even a few days away from Severus to clear her head. She jumped violently when a hand grasped her shoulder. “Hermione? Are you alright?” he asked softly. When she turned around and looked into those deep black eyes, which were filled with concern, she knew then and there that she wouldn't be able to stay away from him. Not even for just a few short days. Damn, she thought.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Desires 16

A/N: RPF (you know the drill) no other warnings at this point. Sorry it has taken so long for an update. Dark Gabriel has pretty much taken over. 

Words: 1,341

Link to previous chapter 

Pairings: Richard Speight Jr. x OFC

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Arriving at the restaurant Kori smiled seeing Misha and Vicki sitting at a table talking quietly. Both smiled the moment they saw Kori and eagerly hugged her.

“So how did the doctor appointment go?”

Vicki asked eagerly. Kori adjusted herself in her seat as the waiter handed her a glass of water.

“It was a good. The baby looks fine. I'm looking around 2 ½ months.”

Vicki smiled eagerly clasping her hands together.

“Goodie! We need a new baby around here.”

Misha meanwhile, was shaking his head but looked as amused as his wife.

“So how did Richard do?”

Kori looked pleased.

“He actually did really good. I'm going by to talk in a little while. Maybe we can work all of this out. I know that I have been stubborn.”

Misha shrugged.

“Well he kind of deserved what he got. Planned or not that was out of line. That wasn't like Richard at all.”

Kori nodded.

“I know. I think that is what set me off. I expected it to be kind of like when I found out that I was pregnant with Charlee. He was so happy then. I think it was because we were both in agreement for a baby at that point. This time it wasn't that way.”

Misha leaned back.

“Shouldn't matter. If he can knock you up then he can man up get and get over the shock.”

Vicki looked at her husband signaling for him to stop. Kori patted Vicki's hand.

“It's okay. His concerns are legitimate and honestly Vicki it isn't something that I haven't thought of already.”

Vicki took a sip of her drink before looking back to Kori.

“I just don't want us to come across as being bossy or rude.”

Kori shook her head.

“I haven't thought that in the slightest. Its good to have protective friends. Richard knows that he was in the wrong and he has been trying to make up. He really has been trying. I have to give him that. A lot of this drama has been me afraid of getting hurt again. I just felt let down.”

Vicki had wrapped her hand back around Kori's.

“Well we can all be stubborn. I think you both need to do exactly what you are going to do...sit down and talk.”

Misha nodded.

“She's right. I'm just being difficult because I care about you.”

Kori smiled.

“I know and I'm flattered.”

A few hours later Kori stood outside of her and Richard's house taking a breath before stepping inside.

“Rich?”

Kori called out his name as she walked through the quiet living room.

“Kitchen sugar.”

She smiled when he called her sugar. Kori knew no matter how many times she would tell him to stop while they had been at odds he wouldn't. Today however, hearing that pet name made her irrationally happy.

Walking into the kitchen Richard stood watching TV with a frown on his face. He looked up the moment that Kori walked in.

“Hey. Have a good time with Misha and Vicki? Misha still want to kill me?”

Kori took off her jacket before sitting down across from Richard. She watched Richard carefully for a few moments. He looked exhausted as he leaned against the counter. Richard had adverted his attention from Kori clearly not wanting to keep watching her. He wasn't sure what to expect when it came to the meeting that was taking place. Was he getting his fiance and family back or was Kori just going to continue straining their relationship along until one of them tapped out for good?

Richard had been contemplating what Rob had said right after he and Kori split.

“Look Rich, you have kinda brought this on yourself. You have been so in love with Kori from the moment you saw her. You have to find someway to fix this! Do you really want your kids going between houses and calling another man dad?”

That quote from his best friend had been plaguing Richard's mind for days. He absolutely refused to accept the mere possibility of someone else taking the place that he currently occupied. There was no way that Richard could stand the thought of another man touching Kori the way that he did and the idea of Charlee calling some other guy dad...hell fucking no!

Kori's voice pulled Richard from his negative thoughts,

“No. I think he's fine. Richard about us....look I don't want to fight anymore. I shouldn't have thrown such a tantrum.”

Richard's amber eyes rolled up before he shut the TV off.

“Kori come here.”

Richard's arms wrapped around Kori pressing a kiss to her lips. The small kiss quickly turned urgent until Richard pulled away.

“Before we get carried away...sugar you didn't do anything wrong. I was the one that was being an ass. I should have never acted like that. Why I did...I have no idea. I should have been happy....I am happy. After seeing the baby on the ultrasound it just sealed the deal. I don't want to lose you.”

Kori stood on her tiptoes to kiss his chin.

“I don't want to lose you either.”

Richard reached out cupping her cheek and pulled her back against him. Neither moved for a moment. Richard let his hands slide down her body.

“I don't want to loose you either Kori. These past few weeks have been the most miserable of my life. What can I do to get you to come home?”

Kori wrapped her arms around Richard's shoulders snuggling her face into his shoulders.

“I am home. I'm not leaving again....well maybe to go get our daughter and I will be right back.”

Richard smiled giving her a suggestive eyebrow wiggle and motioning to the stairs.

“Well before you go taking off to get her....”

Kori looked just as eager as Richard did for some make up time.

“That sounds lovely besides it isn't like Charlee will be ready to leave dad's anytime soon. She is still in love with her new pony.”

She had  to hold back a giggle at the frown on Richard's face as he yanked his t shirt over the top of his head.

“Something about getting a little girl that can barley walk seems a bit dangerous to me. Oh wait we are talking about your father why am I not surprised?”

Kori raised an eyebrow.

“So I guess you won't buy me a pony now that I agreed to come home?”

Richard smirked.

“God damn my big mouth! If you want one....”

Kori walked to her lover undoing his belt while Richard's eyes fluttered to hers.

“Rich where would we put a pony?”

Richard shrugged.

“I was hoping you would be the one to answer that because between that grumpy old lady next door and the cat lady on the other side I don't think they would appropriate a pony running around. We really need new neighbors.”

Kori undid her dress letting it pool around her ankles as Richard watched her with a hungry sense of fascination.

“Well we did spend over four grand to have that fence put up. I am surprised you even know about our neighbors.”

Richard sighed.

“Well that cat lady has this Persian that Charlee likes to chase. The lady looks at her like she has kicked the cat or something whenever Charlee goes near her. She's a baby. She sees a fuzzy cat and wants to pet that cat. Stupid old hag better keep her mouth off of our kid.”

Kori lay back watching her fiance for a moment.

“Rich?”

“Yeah?”

Kori smiled, relived that he had decided to end his rant on the cat lay next door.

“Can you get your head in the game and worry about the cat lady who is impeding our daughter's love of cats later?”

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